Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 430: Introducing Dark Air With Terry Carnation

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

Dark Air with Terry Carnation is a brand new podcast from Audioboom that premieres April 1st. Dark Air with Terry Carnation stars Rainn Wilson (The Office), Karan Soni (Deadpool), Al Madrigal (The Daily Show), and Yvette Nicole Brown (Community).  Subscribe to Dark Air with Terry Carnation on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dark-air-with-terry-carnation/id1557697853

Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. It's my dirty little angel. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer. Hello, sweet babies. It's me, Duncan, and this isn't a Dunkin' Trussell family or a podcast.

I've never done one of these before, and I'm sorry if you feel betrayed. Like I stabbed you in the back as you were emerging in only a towel from some ancient bath house. That's a house where you wash baths. Anyway, this is a really funny podcast that's getting put out by my beloved podcast network. It's called Dark Air with Terry Carnation,

and it was created by the great Rainn Wilson from The Office and Aaron Lee. It's super funny. Some of my friends are in it, including Al Madrigal. A lot of stars are in it, like Karen Sony from Deadpool. Give it a listen. Listen to Dark Air with Terry Carnation on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And now, let's welcome Terry Carnation. Greetings, dearest listeners. Thank you for coming along with me, Terry Carnation, on this incredible oral odyssey. That's oral with an AU. Not with a no, that would be disgusting. This oral audio odyssey of the return of Terry Carnation to his seminal show, Dark Air.

You see, I had been away from the radio for the previous three years due to some mental health difficulties having to do with the loss of my dear wife, Zellon. But now I am making my triumphant return to KSB Radio for my late night AM paranormal call-in show, Dark Air with Terry Carnation. And in this brief segment, you'll hear me interacting

with my new audio engineer, Jeet Batra. And I'll be going to the phone lines, taking some calls from fans who have some supernatural and paranormal concerns. Finally, we will hear a call that will send shivers down your spine. Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing. Reginald, can you hear me back there?

Brr. Brr. Mamala papala, mamala papala, mamala papala. Brr. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Oh, hi. Mr. Carnation, right here. Reginald doesn't work here anymore, sir. What?

No. They let Reginald get away? Oh. He's a three-time winner of the Golden Knob Award at the Ingeni-ries. I know, sir. Unfortunately, they did let him get away. I am your new audio engineer.

My name is Jeet Batra, but I don't expect you to remember that. It's very complicated. I am 23 years old, and I'm your biggest fan. I've listened to you since I was four years old, and my mother would nurse me while listening to your program, sir. I cannot tell you this is an incredible honor.

Oh, no, no, no. The honor is mine, although it is disturbing that you nursed that late. Jeet, you said. That's Hindi, I believe, for victory, is it not? Yes. I mean, I don't know. I don't know why I said yes, I think,

but I trust you that it is. Good, so you are open to the possibility. I am open to all possibilities. Wow. OK, you know my catchphrase. I allow you to be my audio engineer. I won't let you down, Mr. Carnation. I will take a bullet for you if it comes down to that.

Let's hope it doesn't. All right, it's go time, y'all. Three seconds to the air. OK, perfect child of God, I am a perfect child of God. You're listening to KSB Radio. Good evening, fellow travelers. Are you open to all possibilities? Because Terry Carnation has bloomed again.

This is so cool. Oh, my hands are sweating on the knobs. And now, from the unexplored depths of the Marianas Trench to the unexplained reaches of space, time, and mind, you're listening to Dark Air with Terry Carnation. Dark Air, we've got Daryl on the line. Hey, how's it going? It's pretty good, Daryl.

How are you? You know, I'm pretty good. I guess I just don't know how to ask this. I think there's a woman living in my house. You're saying that you've got a woman living in your house? Yeah, like a spirit of a woman, maybe. So not an actual, it's not a roommate. It's not a wife.

It started to feel that way, but there's a lot of opinions. How do you know about her opinions? Does she talk to you about them or write them down on a notepad? Or how does that work? No, like the other day, I sat down and I ate a bowl of cereal. And then I live alone, by the way. And I got up and I poured another bowl of cereal

and I heard a long sigh, like very passive-aggressive, like. Like she didn't like that brand of cereal? No, I think she has a problem with me gaining weight. Oh, you know. She has an issue with your carb intake? Well, the other day, I went to the fridge again. I cracked a third beer and all I heard was, uh, really? Wow.

Yeah, I feel like I'm in a relationship and I don't quite know what to do. Well, maybe you need to talk to her about whatever's happening with you and her and food. It seems a little bit of kind of some passive-aggressive triangulation there. It's not just food. Like when I'm doing the dishes or cleaning the yard,

I do this thing on YouTube where I do some sit-ups. I feel a positive energy in the room, like she's agreeing with what I'm doing. Well, are you interested in this spirit or is there? I don't know, it's just been quite a while since that. Excuse me. It's OK, Darryl. It's been quite a while since I've been in a relationship.

I don't really know what I'm doing, you know what I mean? Yeah. OK, well, here's my advice to you. First of all, let's cut down on the carbs. OK, let's put the beer aside, maybe at least move to a light beer. There's that certain brand of beer that's like a low-carb myclobe.

Maybe just switch over to that. I mean, that's disgusting. It tastes like water. I might as well just drink some water. OK, does she have a name? Do you know? Do you call her name? Do you have any sort of?

After I've gotten out of the shower, NERAC has been written on the mirror, so I think that's NERAC. NERAC, NERAC. Oh, of course. Oh, excellent. Karen, OK. So, you know, I think if you're willing to make some

sacrifices for Karen from NERAC, the least you can do is switch to the myclobe low-carb protein beer. Sorry, are you ready to make the move, you and Karen? Are you ready to commit? Well, it's either that or move, and I don't feel like moving. Well, there's your answer. Yeah, a yoga ball just rolled into the room, and a glass of water just appeared.

So I think I've got to go work out for the day. Daryl, thank you so much for your call. Yeah, I'm coming. Can you turn the lights back on? I've got to go. You're listening to Dark Air with Terry Carnation. Dark Air, this is Terry. Hi, Terry.

This is Christine. Hello, Christine. I'm so excited to be talking to you finally. I'm a big, big fan. So my dog, Kenny, he is super weird. He's a rottweiler, and he, well, he has a lazy eye. And one of his eyes, I swear to God, I think it's looking at ghosts.

I need your help. OK, so is it the right eye or the left eye? It's his left eye. Well, that makes sense. The left eye is the contingent eye to the spirit world. And was he born with this defect, or did it happen at a certain point in time? No, when he was about six years old,

he got in a fight with a feral cat, and then his left eye just has been lazy ever since. It just wanders off, but now we think he sees ghosts. So perhaps some of the muscles were severed, which has allowed the eye to drift from the physical, from the material, into the spirit realm. Now, what is it about Kenny's lazy left eye that makes you think that he's witnessing something spectral?

Well, sometimes we'll just be sitting there, you know, like eating supper or just hanging out as a family. And he will just be looking in the corner of the room, and no one knows what he's looking at. He just keeps looking, and then he starts to growl a little bit. That's what made us scared. Well, you know, the Sufi mystics often speak about the power of the third eye, the all-seeing eye.

Just to be clear, Terry, he only has two eyes, and they're both brown. It's as if actor Peter Falk could see ghosts with his lazy eye. Anyway, so how can I help you with Kenny? Are you viewing this as some kind of danger or threat to you or your family? My granddad did die in this house, and so sometimes we wonder if he's talking to granddad,

but we don't know what it is, and I know you're the expert. So I thought I'd call you and ask. Well, my assessment is that Kenny is peering into the spectral realm. And as such, he should be revered. He should be honored. I mean, to the ancient Egyptian, the humble house cat had two feet in the material realm

and two feet in the spirit world. They were often buried with their owners. I think that it's important, when Kenny passes, that he be buried with someone in the family. Yeah, you know, we could bury him with granddad in the backyard. Although there is a problem with that, Kenny dug up a human leg bone and brought it in the house. We don't know if it was granddad or if it was one of his wives,

but that could be a problem. But otherwise, we don't definitely bury him. What was Kenny's relationship with your grandfather? Did he beat Kenny? Well, no, he did not beat Kenny. He just sometimes whacked him with a newspaper and kicked him once or twice. But that was about it.

He didn't beat him. I'm going to revise my assessment. And I believe that Kenny is in close contact with your grandfather as a kind of spectral retribution, keeping him attached to the material realm in order to reverse the punishment onto your grandfather for the welpings that he brought him with said newspaper. So put the phone up to his snout.

OK. Kenny, Kenny? Kenny, hear me? Kenny, can you hear me? He's nodding. He's nodding yes. He's saying yes. Good, good.

Kenny, listen to me. Listen to me very carefully. Is he there, Kenny? Is grandfather there? Do you see him? He's nodding. Do you see him in the corner? Kenny, Kenny, let him go.

Let grandfather go, Kenny. Let him go. Oh, my God. Oh, oh, my God. Terry, he's up on his high legs. He's walking like a man. Oh, my God. He just put on grandfather's rope.

He's walking out the door. He's acting like a man. I have to go get Kenny. I gotta go. Goodbye. Kenny? Oh, Godspeed, Kenny. Godspeed.

Collar, you're on the air. The dark air. Ooh. What's this? It's hitting me in the ear bone. Collar, are you there? Hello? Terry?

Yes, this is Terry. You've got the right guy. Could you speak a little louder, though? Terry, Terry, I'm here. I'm getting some feedback. I've got some kind of echo going on. Please continue speaking. Terry, Terry, please find me.

Help me. You've got me, got me, got me, got me. Wait, no, no, no. Come back. Come back. Cheat. Get her back on the line. Hello?

Is it you? Is it a crank call or is it a prank? Is a prank not the first prank call we've ever heard on the show? Let's go to an advertisement. Well, how about that? Oh, dearest listeners, I hope you enjoyed that tillating little sneak peek into the life of Terry Carnation.

I hope you enjoyed breathing in my dark air. There's so much more dark air to breathe in in the subsequent 14 episodes. Oh, there's misadventures and shenanigans, hijinks, adventures, romance. And yes, heartbreak. Was that a call from my dead wife, Zalon? There's only one way to find out.

Keep listening, follow, like, subscribe. I don't know what you call it. To dark air with Terry Carnation, wherever all fine podcasts are found, let's go on an adventure together. Carnation out. 92% of households that joined Peloton early in the year are still active a year later.

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