Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 470: The Leather Rose, Episode 1

Episode Date: October 22, 2021

Welcome to a new analysis of the mysteries of the universe. Welcome to a new exploration of the secrets of time. Welcome to The Leather Rose. Subscribe to The Leather Rose, soon to be available every...where you listen to podcasts! For now, please subscribe with RSS (we'll update as it becomes available elsewhere). Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. BLUECHEW - Use offer code: DUNCAN at checkout and get your first shipment FREE with just $5 shipping. BetterHelp - Visit betterhealth.com/duncan to find a great counselor and get 10% off of your first month of counseling!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We are family. A good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, JCPenney. Family get-togethers to fancy occasions, wedding season two. We do it all in style. Dresses, suiting, and plenty of color to play with. Get fixed up with brands like Liz Claiborne, Worthington, Stafford, and Jay Farrar.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Oh, and thereabouts for kids. Super cute and extra affordable. Check out the latest in-store, and we're never short on options at jcp.com. All dressed up everywhere to go. JCPenney. Greetings, friends. It is I, Dee Trussell, and you are listening to the Ducket
Starting point is 00:00:35 Trussell Family Hour Podcast. And today, we are going to be talking about something that I know so many of you are deeply interested in. How does agriculture, NFTs, cryptocurrency, the vegan lifestyle, tie-dying, wearing sandals, wearing Viking hats, anointing yourself with sacred oils, going to the pyramids, exploding into 1,000 stars, beach vacations, and vaccines connect
Starting point is 00:01:08 to the happenings that are going on right now at the Wisconsin Orgy House. You're going to find out today on this episode of the DTF. And now, the Leather Rose with Johnny Pemberton and Duncan Trussell. Thanks so much, Casey. Sorry, you guys. I had a dimensional hiccup.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I'm really excited to introduce you to the Leather Rose. This is a brand new podcast series that I've been working on with Johnny for a while now. And I hope that you will subscribe to the Leather Rose, which is available on all streaming services. We're going to be releasing one episode per week. It's riveting. It's powerful.
Starting point is 00:01:52 And it's real. It's the Leather Rose. All the links you need to subscribe to the Leather Rose are going to be at dougartrussell.com, or check my Twitter, or Johnny's Twitter, or my Instagram, or our TikTok. Head over there, and you'll get a commercial-free episode of the Leather Rose, along with weekly new episodes
Starting point is 00:02:13 of this powerful riveting and mind-bending exploration of truth. And now, the Leather Rose. You are listening to the Leather Rose, an exploration of the mysteries of the universe. Join us now as we unravel the secrets of time. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:59 How do you like that? That was a listener sent in recording. That was recorded. Let me see here. I was recorded by Jeff Gelding in the Santa Monica State Mountains. Can I give you a little advice, Jeff Gelding, if you happen to be listening to this?
Starting point is 00:03:12 When I got into the game, I was smart enough to know not to send a bag of dog shit to the veterinarian and expect to get back roses, OK? That was shit. Honestly, we don't know what that recording could have been anything at all. And thanks for sending it in, Jeff. It was terrible.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Ladies and gentlemen, listen to the Leather Rose right now. My name is Delco Scooch. I'm your guest host today here in the Leather Rose. And we're taking listener submissions all day, so keep them coming in strong and hot, good and fast. Today, my guest host, who's also the guest, but he's also simultaneously a host. You heard him pop up there a minute ago.
Starting point is 00:03:49 And think his mic was hot. Yeah, but he did. So please welcome Monica Shaw Tower. Thanks for having me, Delco. I love the show. It's a real honor to be on. Now, just I just want to say this real quick. Monica can be a man's name.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Yeah, no shit. You don't need to say that. OK. I just wanted to just clarify for the listeners. We know Orange Cube can be a fucking man's name. It's true. Whatever whatever whatever name you want to be. Some of the morning will be a man's name.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Lady of the Lake can be a man's name. You don't need to you don't need to condescend your listeners. I don't know if Lady of the Lake could be a man's name. Sure it can. It's technically the word lady is in the name. Well, yeah, but it's not spelled like lady. Well, it's me like L E I G H T D Y. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:35 L L E I G H T D Y. Look, I don't want to get into some semantic argument here, Delco. It's just any essentially it doesn't matter. You could call yourself fucking tripod. Tripod would be actually a pretty good name. Because especially if someone had maybe like a very large penis, you call him tripod. It's a cool name for a man.
Starting point is 00:04:54 It's a cool name for a woman. It's a cool name for a fucking squirrel. OK, Monica. Fuck what you got it. All right, everybody. Sick of people fucking getting on me about my name. I love my name. I think it's a great name.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I just don't change my name to Monica from Darrell. So you changed it from Darrell to Monica. Yeah. What was wrong with Darrell? Spirit of the Forest told me my name was Monica. What was wrong with Darrell? I don't know. I didn't even ask.
Starting point is 00:05:21 It was Spirit of the Forest. What are you going to do? Interrogate the source of life on Earth? I said my name's Monica. I went home, came to the DMV, changed my fucking name to Monica. OK, Monica. You're on the leather rose and we have Monica here. We're talking about audible sounds that have been recorded in state forest
Starting point is 00:05:38 across the world. Not state forest, but forest everywhere. We started off that listener submission. We're talking about sounds. Terrible. Now, you have an idea where these sounds are coming from. You're saying that these are crevices in the ground. They're opening up.
Starting point is 00:05:53 And you say this is a giant mouth of the planet? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you read my book, Mouth of the Planet, and this will all be completely clear as a bell. These cracks have been opening up. Crevices have been opening up. National forest and non-international forest. Non-national forest is really just a goddamn forest, you know.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Right. No need to call it national. See, it's laying claim to a thing that was there long before your monkey ass came stumbling into the wherever and said that's a national forest. That's just a forest. No more national forest and you're a national piece of shit for claiming something that belongs to the totality of all things.
Starting point is 00:06:33 I don't want to get into semantics. Hate semantics. I mean, I think you just did get into semantics. Let's get into semantics. The cracks are opening up. As prophesied by the seven prophets of Jeze, these cracks are opening up. And they're opening up in forests all over.
Starting point is 00:06:51 All over the planet. And to call them national forest or whatever doesn't, doesn't make a difference. You're out there at night and I do not nude, not climbing in the forest. Find a nice rock face and then do nude free climbing under the full moon. It's my favorite thing to feel the dissipated heat of a stone.
Starting point is 00:07:14 So you're talking about against my body like a lizard. I absorbed that last daylight heat and just hang there with a full moon at my back. And that's when the cracks will generally open up for me. And that's when the sounds will come out. Your first listener, whatever that thing he played, was clearly not coming from one of these night cracks or crevice.
Starting point is 00:07:34 So let me just slow it down here a bit. We just downloaded a lot of information out there. So we're talking about the seven prophets of Jeze. Jeze. Jeze. That's Je. That's triple Z. Yep, triple Z.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Okay. The seven prophets of Jeze. Now, many people have claimed that you have claimed to be the eighth prophet of Jeze. No, I did not claim to be the eighth prophet of Jeze. At least people are claiming that you've claimed it. I went to an ayahuasca ceremony at the Gary Ladin ayahuasca ceremonial center in Detroit.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Okay. Is that the same as the Gary Sinise Foundation? No, very different. Though I do respect that foundation. I have donated quite a bit of money to that foundation. I've done a lot of volunteer work for Mr. Sinise. Me too. Very different though.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Gary Ladin is a wonderful safe zone to take ayahuasca in Detroit. It's underneath the roller skating rink. Repurpose for spiritual ceremonies. That sounds wonderful. Regardless, I went there. That's when I was given the name Monica by the spirit of the forest.
Starting point is 00:08:34 And it was insinuated that I was the eighth prophet because each of these prophets' names have Onica in them. So there was Sonica, Donica, Lonica. Tronica? Tronica. Spamonica? I've seen Spamonica all over the place. It was Har.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Harmonica. Oh, that's what the... See, this is all kind of tying together a thread that we've had loose dangling around here for quite some time. That is, the name Harmonica is an ancient name. And it comes from the fissures of the mouths of the world, a gape, and screaming in harmony. Yeah, that's correct.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah, well, you know, if you break it down in the language of Jeze, Har, it means sound of God. Okay. And Monica means from the crack. Now, a lot of people have said that this is what the shape of a taco was based on, actually. Absolutely. And that's why people like tacos so much is they're
Starting point is 00:09:35 technically involving themselves in an ancient ritual of communicating. Harmonica and a taco are not that different when it comes down to it. That's correct. I mean, you trace the history of the taco. You follow it down. You've taught it down through North America and down into
Starting point is 00:09:51 North American and the lower Brazilian Peninsula and into the lower regions on the Swamplands down there is where a lot of these full anthropologists are getting their funding from big tech, which they're then using to manipulate the masses into believing that foods come from places they just don't come from. We're talking recipes written in the stars not coming from the earth.
Starting point is 00:10:14 You think a taco came from the mind of humans, but that's just what these transhumanists want us to believe. It's a bottom line, basic deep dish program. And you think you think these things come from a mind? You think somebody just thought up a taco human being? No, those are written in the stars. And that came from the people of Jeze, which are not terrestrial bound beings.
Starting point is 00:10:36 And that's number one came from the crack. And that is what Monica means from the crack. And when I was given that name, Monica, it was not just that I was the eighth prophet of Jeze. As I was insinuated, I was the final prophet because there was nothing preceding the name. There was no Gil, Monica, Tach, Monica. It was just Monica.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Tole, Monica, Bill, Monica, Brad, Monica. I'm from the crack. That would be the translation of my name from the crack. So people who are claiming that you claim to be the eighth prophet of Jeze are actually saying they're getting it wrong. What you are, you are the seventh prophet of Jeze. And you have claimed that. And you just did it.
Starting point is 00:11:17 You just did it. He did claim that right now. I did only claimed it. I'm just going to be it. And I'm going to diddly be proud of it. And I carry the burden of it because there are no more people of Jeze. We're talking about one of the most prolific, powerful,
Starting point is 00:11:33 scattered subspecies of humanity scattered throughout the entire planet. Gone in a day. Riding's eliminated. They used to have, you could go. They couldn't go anywhere without seeing one of the Jeze scriptures etched on a post or a tree. Gone in a day.
Starting point is 00:11:56 You don't remember when you were, I don't know how old you are. You look young as hell. But for me, when I was a kid, it was just, you couldn't look at a J bird's ass without seeing some message from the people at Jeze. And then in a day, they're gone. We'd be digging an ant mound to my friend Billy. We'd get our, we had a special stick we'd use.
Starting point is 00:12:14 It's called our ant, ant digging stick. And it had a real curved tip, a long curved tip, almost like a hockey stick that had been bent by moonlight. And we called our ant digging stick and we'd just go around and find the biggest mountain and swish it around on there. And we'd, we'd see ants and we put our ear to the ground and the ants, they wouldn't attack us or nothing. They would just start screaming about Jeze, Jeze, Jeze, Jeze.
Starting point is 00:12:40 That was when the ants talked. Which you could see over at duckitrustle.com. If you need to make a website, go no further than Squarespace. It's easy to create a website with their incredible design technology. It's all in one platform. They got everything you need from e-commerce to domains to marketing tools and even better, if you want to send out really beautiful emails to your clients, you can use Squarespace's technology to do that.
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Starting point is 00:14:36 to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Now back to the Leather Rose, a.k.a. the DTFH. That was when the ants talked. Now again, we go back, you know, and when the day came, as it was predicted, there would happen the vanishing day. Before that, you got talking ants. You're in your kid. We didn't have this thing.
Starting point is 00:15:09 You know, my my cousin had a beautiful child. Wonderful kid, Orney. Now they decided to have another because they're worried. Orney was going to need company. Wait, is it Orney or Horney or Orney? Come on. I don't know. Are you some Hollywood elite?
Starting point is 00:15:27 I've got to ask. What are you doing over here? I'm in St. Louis right now. I don't even like that kind of humor. You're not going to be a child's horny. You're not going to do that. It's a question. It's a question.
Starting point is 00:15:37 I know, but I know what you're doing. Don't do that. You know how someone sucked up into the pockets of the liberal elite. I'm not. Some words. I don't want to get into it. Let's just not do that kind of humor. I love your show.
Starting point is 00:15:48 I love it a lot. And I've never I listened to it because the family is family friendly. Okay. Orney. My cousin. Orney. Not beautiful name. My cousin Orney.
Starting point is 00:15:59 It's a wonderful name. Beautiful. Boy or girl. Boy or girl. What difference does it make? Well, what are you? Listeners are going to ask me. What are you asking with the census department over here?
Starting point is 00:16:07 I'm going to get, I'm going to get roasted. All right. Now Orney, now they say, he's called me up. He said, we're going to try for another because we want Orney to have company. And I said to him, well, that's a new thing because when I was a kid, you didn't need company. You could go down to your nearest ant mound and you could have a conversation with a whole bunch of ants about anything you wanted to talk about.
Starting point is 00:16:30 And then the vanishing came, the ants stopped talking. That's when the birds started flying. They're all ground based. You used to, if you wanted a bird, you could just snatch one up. People don't remember that. They all went up in the air. Day of vanishing. People don't remember that.
Starting point is 00:16:44 The birds used to be a terrestrial creature for as long as I can remember. When I was coming up, we'd say, stay low like a bird and you'll find what you need. Stay low like a bird. Low like a bird. If you're hungry, you could just reach down as ground popcorn, what we used to call it. Yeah, ground popcorn. You have to go to the grocery store, this thing, go grocery store to get bird meat. You just reach down and pluck up a bird.
Starting point is 00:17:05 They're all over your feet. Throw it on the grill right there. Feathers would fall right off. That was the, those were the good old days. When they say good old days, that's what they mean. And if a wind was blowing, my mama would say, just get lower than a bird turd. And we would duck down and hunker because we, you know, we all, I mean, that's the great division is when birds and turtles started to be separate things.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Yep. It used to be the same damn thing. You get the, that was the, that was a good, I mean, they base the dark crystal off this, but not spoiler alert. I mean, I guess it's a dark crystal in reverse because the dark crystal, they kind of join up at the end and they're split in the beginning of this. They were joined together. You get these terrestrial, you know, tortoise like land birds.
Starting point is 00:17:46 And then this split happens. Now you got snapping turtles in the lakes. You can't go for a, you can't swim six feet without getting a snapping turtle on your, on your, on your ass. Just snap down. So we get the splitting. You get the splitting. You got the birds split from the tortoise.
Starting point is 00:18:03 You know, in those days, that's when you get the, the, the, the, the, the dolphin breaks into the, you know, this new thing we call it often. That's not a dolphin. They used to be combined with the shark and the seal. And they were brilliant, funny creatures, funny creatures. I would spend days at the beach with my mamma. We would just laugh in and laugh and laugh at the jokes that they would tell. They would do these special fart jokes where they'd make a cloud that was wrapped in a
Starting point is 00:18:30 sinuous material and they would shoot it like a beach ball, like a fart. It's like a beach ball. Just poof. Now you've got these comedians, you know, they're trying to do the thing that used to just be a natural thing from the sea. That's why you went to the beach, by the way. Back then you didn't go to the beach because you want this thing or beer going out in filthy water and stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:49 No. You went to the beach for a show and they would just come out and they'd do their fart jokes. It was family friendly fun. Now you're lucky if you laugh once when you go to the beach. More likely you're going to see somebody ripped apart by one of those sharks. They're pissed off. It got split off from its mother species.
Starting point is 00:19:05 It's become a serious place. It's funny. Now it's some angry mouse under there just biting anything it can. This episode of the DTFH was brought to you by the Wizards of Boners over at Blue Chew. Blue Chew. It's a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis. The chewable tablets and a fraction of the cost.
Starting point is 00:19:35 I'm 47. I've got one ball. There's a pandemic. I'm rattled friends, which is why whenever I go on a trip. I'm going to Vegas this weekend. You know what? I'm bringing with me blue chew. I need it.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Not ashamed of that fact. I love it. It's like a safety parachute that I can pull any time I want to hump. The process is simple. You sign up at bluechew.com. Consult with one of their licensed medical providers. Once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. Again, I would not sell you some kind of snake oil friends.
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Starting point is 00:20:57 Visit blue chew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank blue chew for sponsoring the leather rose, AKA the DTFH. Let's talk about the vanishing. Oh, I'd love to. Now you said that vanishing was predicted. The vanishing has been predicted. I mean, this thing is written all over the, I mean, this is like, not only is it written about in the Bible, the suppressed Bible, by the way, you're not going to see a real
Starting point is 00:21:35 Bible about whatever they're calling the Bible. Now this is a, this is a, he might as well read the shit stains of the pope smeared out on mummy wrappings. Cause that's what you got there. I'm talking about the real Bible. There was a before the vanishing. When you, you open up a Bible, your eyes would turn blue, vivid, beautiful sky blue from the potency, chronic energy is what we call it.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Then the vanishing happens. And then you get this thing that I don't even know what it is. Sheruli. Gideon Bible. They put in the hotel rooms. Oh, the Gideon. So that's, that's, yeah. Wipe.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Yes. So come wiping thing there. I should use that to wipe your calm after you beat off to that erotica they show for adult entertainment at the hotels. That's all it's good. This is a family show. Let's just keep it. I know.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I'm sorry. Got a little off track. That's a little, that's a little blue. Yeah. You're working blue. Still this day. Cause it's reference to the ocean. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:32 That's right. The original source of comedy on the planet is the ocean creatures. So funny. The original dolphins. Those are just the dolphins. I mean, that's when you have mermaids out there. By the way, speaking of blue, there's. Speaking of blue.
Starting point is 00:22:44 I've seen some good breasts in my life, but nothing better. Mermaids breasts are just so good. That's what, yeah. Yep. That's right. I mean that literally in those days, you'd have to have your kids. You'd have to point and say, look, look up. Look behind.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Just if a mermaid showed up and they're beautiful, beautiful velvety tits. Beautiful. I mean, I came to the point where I just couldn't ignore them. It's one of those things where you have to just look at it like a work of art. That's right. Just his beautiful mermaid breasts. They're just so perfect and so, so velvety is a good word to describe it. Velvety creamy.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Sculpted by Poseidon himself. It's almost like a wave had stopped mid motion and formed into a pair of breasts. Oh, oh my God. I can tell you some bachelor stories. Ooh, some bachelor party ocean stories. Let me tell you, I could tell you some stories that would not be good. Why don't you tell one? Tell one.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Well, all right. Go ahead and slip into one. Why don't you? I'm going to tell one in the condition that any children listening and have your parents hold you a year. Let me just say let me give a warning out. Hey, children, listen right now. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:23:50 It's me. It's a Delco here. Leather Rose host. If you're listening right now, we didn't get to have Mamaw, that Papaw, that Grandma, that Mimi, that Dodo that you got laying around. Maybe even find the dogs big floppy ears. You got a big floppy cock or spangly around there. Just stuff that fur in your ear now, sweetheart baby.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Cover your ear. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. It doesn't matter if you're a girl with a boy's name or vice versa. Well, there isn't such a thing. Let me just finish. Let me. It doesn't matter if you got a name. It's almost exclusively used for women and you're a boy.
Starting point is 00:24:24 It's totally fine. You're still growing up. You can be anything you want to be. It doesn't matter if you're a vice versa. Name's a name. You can change your name if you want, but you don't have to because, you know, you don't want to go against with what the spirit of the force instructs you to change your name to Monica.
Starting point is 00:24:40 I challenge you to deny the force or quat. Go ahead and stuff those ears close good and tight like a broom in a broom closet. Cause we're about to, and dad, dad, if you're here, maybe tell the wife to just go inside the kitchen and see and count the, count the number of eggs you've got in there. Count the carrots. Count the carrots. Count the carrots. Count the hairs on the carrots kind of twice.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Cause Monica here is about to regale us. Monica shot. I was about to tell us a little bit of what we call bachelor tale. Let's just say turn the radio down low and get close up to it cause. All right. All right. Let her rip. Why don't you let her rip?
Starting point is 00:25:24 No, this is one of my dearest friends. God rest his soul. He is gone now. One of the many who were vanished in the land. But he was a wonderful friend of mine. Blitz. Translate. This man was in top weight lifter, just so you know, at our college and his body was
Starting point is 00:25:43 unlike anything I've seen. Now you, these days you've got everybody all gooseed up on funny pills, greasing themselves down with steroid testosterone creams that they're God knows where they're even coming from. From what I hear, they're extracted from elephant balls and Indonesian elephant balls, drip and natural mucus. When they put that in capsules, send out the United States and these want to be weight lifters.
Starting point is 00:26:08 They just slurp them down like they're eating tic-tacs. It's not safe. It's just not safe. Don't eat them. It's not good for you. God only knows what it's going to do to you. You already know it's shrinking your brain down to the size of a walnut. Most of these weight lifters, when they go in for their autopsies after they die, their
Starting point is 00:26:27 brains have been shriveled up. Now I'm not going to get off track here, but let me tell you something, Blitz was beautiful. He was like a walking sculpted mountain. He was powerful and strong and his voice was deep and resonant like the bellowing horn blown by some Nordic shepherd in times long gone. How wide was he? Oh God, he must have been seven feet wide. I'm not seven or eight feet wide.
Starting point is 00:26:53 His body, you looked at that body, it was like a walking rippling abdominal wall and some paradise garden that Samuel Taylor Coleridge might have written about, one of his epic poems. I bet you could shoot him with an arrow and it wouldn't go all the way in. I'll tell you, it'd be a lucky arrow and anything wanted to get close to Blitz's heart and that was the problem because there's only one heart in that man and that man had a deep and a Biden love for Susan Sancy. Now she was a biology student and her ass was rock hard.
Starting point is 00:27:29 You could cut a diamond with that ass and I would have paid, I would have cut my feet off just to get one taste of insider crack, but you know, he was monogamous and everything. So I stayed away though. I was would have loved to just lay, you know, lay underneath them and just while he was hammering her and just lap against his cock and her tank. Okay. So we ended up, he did the thing, he asked her to marry him and I gotta tell you, he offered her a diamond ring that was, is like looking at something somebody must have harvested
Starting point is 00:28:10 off of a magical moon beam. It was the stars were dancing in that thing as love was in there and he, he offered it to her, not just on one hot air balloon, three hot air balloons tied together and connected by planks and he walked her from one to the next because he had the grace of a circus acrobat and he had a love of the sky. So wide, but so graceful at such a rare combination to be so wide, to be so strong, but also to be graceful like a, like a little ballerina almost like a, I can just envision it now. It's like watching one of those tiny, tiny deer prance around with the hooves that are
Starting point is 00:28:50 the size of a pinpoint that prances up a mountain. Oh yeah. That's a beautiful description of him. And on that day that he asked her to marry him, he was wearing tap shoes. Tap shoes. Wow. And the way he asked her to marry him was he got on one of those a two by four connected to two hot air balloons and he tapped down, tapped dance there and he reached down and
Starting point is 00:29:15 underneath one of his pectoral muscles, he had, he had pushed that ring and he pulled it out and he said, will you be my wife forever? And she's cried. She cried so much that it rained and where those hot air balloons were floating over there been a drought. And she cried so much it rained on this farmer's field and that farmer was about to go bankrupt. And as he tells a story, he had actually gone into his barn and put a shotgun barrel into his open mouth and was about to squeeze the trigger and blow his brains out because he's
Starting point is 00:29:51 going to lose his farm and it starts raining. It starts raining, I guess because these were human tears coming from love. They caused his crops to grow 10, 10 times as fast and 10 times more. And so he suddenly had a flourishing corn crop. And he made enough money to pay back the bankers, God save them. And he made enough money to get his farm back. Now I'm getting a little bit off track. I think yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Well, we want to talk about the bachelor party and the mermaid breath. Invites us to this bachelor party. Now this was in Santa Barbara. Oh, no, I'd never been to California. In fact, I avoided at all costs, but if Blitz told you to go somewhere, you would go. You would not say no to Blitz anymore than you would say no to the resounding sound of an angel calling you from the clouds. If an angel tells you to jump, you jump.
Starting point is 00:30:46 If an angel tells you to do push ups, you do push ups. If Blitz tells you come to Santa Barbara for my bachelor party, we're going to the beach. You know what he means. You know what he means. I think he means, I think I know what he means. He means color me a whistle and I'm ready to run. Color me a whistle and I'm ready to run. And that's what we did.
Starting point is 00:31:04 He went on the beach and it was the best bachelor party I've ever been to. It started off with just beach exercises. One of the great things that Blitz would do is he laid exercises and he had us doing these wonderful calf exercises that when the burn was so intense, it was a lower body workout. And it was, we were crying as we, as we worked our glutes out because we knew this is going to be the last, more probably one of the last times that Blitz led one of these incredible like, it's okay now. He was just such a friend.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Monica. He was so beautiful. We don't have so beautiful watching him. Oh my God, just this wall of love. So he leads exercise and then he claps his hands and he had French moms had been hitting under the sand. They come up out of the sand and they're all holding champagne bottles and Chris with crystal glasses and they pour us all champagne and we're drinking champagne and you know
Starting point is 00:32:09 what's next cause a smell of champagne calls the mermaids. Oh, it does. It does. And it's not just the smell of champagne. Let's face it, it's Blitz and those mermaids have been under there watching him lead this exercise routine and they've just, they're just ready to go. They're gassed up and they're gassed up. And you've never seen, I've never seen that many mermaids in my life.
Starting point is 00:32:32 They come, you've got mermaids here, mermaids there. I guess it was the whole ocean was just filled with these voluptuous mermaids. They come up out of the sea pulling themselves, flopping those beautiful tails, pulling themselves in the sand. They're beautiful voluptuous breasts covered in sand like a dusted cookie at a picnic in heaven and we clean their breasts off cause they didn't want their nipples to get irritated and we spent the next three hours at the breast of these mermaids drinking the nectar of the sea and it was the most delightful.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Yeah, I'll never see him again. We lost so much in the vanishing after it's, can we take a break? We can take a break. We're talking with Monica shy tower and we're talking about smoking from Poseidon's pipe here. When you do stuff, sometimes there's a problem and we've all experienced a different line of issues that sometimes will be a thing. Well, that's the story of the bachelor party.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Well that's really incredible. I can just tell your friends you love them and make sure that you insulate yourself against magic that you don't understand because sometimes you know, you get that boomerang, it just whips around. People out there are throwing boomerangs and thinking they're not going to come back. But they're going to come back. It's the nature of the boomerang to come back. This podcast is sponsored by better help.
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Starting point is 00:36:46 about these these fissures and absolutely just a bit because we're talking we started here talking off about these sounds are coming out in the ground. Right. Now I'm afraid I got in the way. I know a lot of your listeners are probably excited to hear you play some of their sounds. They're recorded out here in the forest. Now the phenomena, you know, I was the first one to authentically document it. Now that's because I had made my way into the Bohemian Grove.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Now the Bohemian Grove is known for many things. The hour rituals and all that's not really what's going on there. That's just party tricks by silly clown. What really with a hidden secret of the Bohemian Grove is they have a wonderful massive slate stone rock that rises up from the forest and this thing absorbs heat so much that a very rare lizard you can be found there that just they just cling to these rocks and absorb this heat and that lizard if you're if you're stuck if you're I used to be a long term vaping addict and these things one lick of one of these lizards and your addictive problems are
Starting point is 00:37:55 gone. You're not going to go to the Bohemian Grove, go to that slate rock and take a lick on those lizards. This is why all of the world leaders go there. It's not because they're planning something or they're up to no good. It's because they're all addicted. All the world leaders are deeply and horribly addicted to a variety of substances. Mainly believe it or not.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Nutri-Sweet. They just love it. Like that's a very bad thing. I've heard about that. I've heard about it. Messes with your hormones, man. Yeah. But Nutri-Sweet is delicious.
Starting point is 00:38:24 I'm going to deny it. Everyone knows that. I love it. I used to pour the shit on my tongue. You can't resist. Wake up in the morning and just have your Nutri-Sweet stone or your bowl of Nutri-Sweet. Stick your tongue down there. Anyway, you go to this slate stone and you take your clothes off in front of it and you
Starting point is 00:38:43 just climb up this thing and it's one of the most transcendent experiences. This will work with any rock in the National Forest. It's called Nude Night Time Free Climbing on Post-Summer Stones. Post-Summer. Post-Summer Stones. Post-Summer. Post-Summer Day Stones or Post-Summer Stones or just PSS. PSS.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Post-Summer Stones. Yeah. The stones have been heated in the summer day and have been cooled down under the light of a full moon. You get your body against that, absorb that last bit of heat from the stone. You got to get the last bit so that when you're done, that stone's cold. You can't leave any of it. You want the last bit of that summer heat.
Starting point is 00:39:26 To bring that into your body, you will hit a mesmer resonance, as it's called, a mesmer resonance field. The exact same resonant tone you get when you measure volcanoes or save a suvious was resonating at this tone right before it blasts those Italians straight to hell. You get this resonance going there and your body is resonating from that summer heat and that's when the crevices, the cracks will open up and that's when the earth will sing to you and you will hear the mysteries that are sung by the spirit of the earth, the one that gave me the name, Monica.
Starting point is 00:39:59 That's a beautiful tale, Monica. Could you leave us with possibly a, just a taste of what that viscous vibration sound, so people, because obviously when the crack opens up and you hear that sound, that's unmistakable. But I think a lot of people might not know if they're doing it right because they don't know what that sound sounds like. Are you asking me to emanate? I'm asking you to imitate, to in-emitate Ace. I don't imitate.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I emanate. Now, there's a lot of people out there who will imitate, but I, I emanate. Could you emanate that sound that we would hear that? You're not going to hear me imitate. You want, you want something, you want to hear somebody imitate. I want to hear you emanate. You go down to your local rodeo and find some, some brain, brain-addled rodeo clown who's been tap-danced on by one too many a steer and that, that you'll get an imitation of
Starting point is 00:40:55 something. You'll get an imitation of the sound of old waffles flopping out of a pan against those. Oh, that sounds terrible. I want to, nobody wants an old waffle. I'm, I'm going to go ahead and emanate for us. Now I'm going to give you a warning out there. If you don't want your life to change, if you're not interested in upticking or upshifting, if not, if you want to stay down in your little cauldron to despair, if you want to keep your
Starting point is 00:41:23 boat safely docked in the harbor of sorrows, while you find yourself eating a never ending shit bowl of mediocrity, then if you're interested in keeping yourself in the lower levels of hell as a hungry ghost with a long pencil neck and an infinite appetite, I would recommend that you don't listen to this because he's going to blast you right back into heaven. Kids take your, take the copper spangles out of your ears now and get a listen to this because you want to grow up fast. This is how you do it. You won't grow.
Starting point is 00:41:58 This is going to grow you up. You're going to, you better get your pencil out and get ready to head over to the sizing wall because you're going to notice a shift today. And parents, if you don't want to go out and have to buy your kids new clothes, then I would recommend turning this off because you're going to go up a few sides. Oh yeah. You're going to go up a few sides. If you're interested in playing basketball, turn it up loud because you're going to be
Starting point is 00:42:19 slam dunking. Okay. If you're interested in being able to safely jump on your trampoline, if you're up at that edge where you might be a little heavier and you're afraid you're going to go through, don't listen because this might be the thing that pushes you through that. If you're interested in being able to dig just a significant hole really quickly, then I will listen. If you want to, if you want to have the strength to just dig a hole quickly, to quickly dig
Starting point is 00:42:44 a large hole, maybe for a job or maybe just for fun, either way, if you wanted to be able to do that, I would say listen up good. If you wanted to be able to, if you want to be, if you're, if you're having problems with like shelving issues and you can't get up there like the higher shelves, maybe you're somebody's hiding your cookies up there, you can't reach, you know, the steps to listen. They're going to have to find a new place to hide those cookies and there better not be digging them in the ground because you're going to be able to dig down there too. If you bought some shoes that are just slightly too big, but they're just too nice to return
Starting point is 00:43:16 and you don't know somebody with that size, listen good because you're going to fill up those shoes just perfect right. Your toes are just going to come within a half and a quarter inch to the eighth inch to the tip. It's going to feel really good. I would say listen up if that's on your list of solutions to problemize. If you got like short sausage flap arms and you can't reach back when you get a scratch on your back, you listen because you're going to be able to, those arms are going to un, you're going to move on out and stretch on down and your fingers will extend too.
Starting point is 00:43:53 That's good news and bad news. Again, if you're like someone who's got a glove collection for example, I mean, I'll tell you, this is something that actually did happen. It was really quite sad. Somebody came and we gave them this warning and believe us, I guess, or whatever, you know, hubris, but they came to one of my Monica from the crack retreats that happen every three months in Hawaii and I said, I said the whole thing here. Now as it turns out, they had a, one of the most highly rated glove collections
Starting point is 00:44:27 in North America and all them size to their hand. After this, they couldn't put on a single single one, not a single one. That collection was more than just something to look out for them. They like to wake up as many of us do and put on their morning gloves and have their coffee. Nope. Couldn't do it. Well, I mean, that's all they say. You fill, you fill out a glove, you open the door.
Starting point is 00:44:54 You know what? I'm wearing gloves right now. I'm wearing gloves right now. Mayor skin. Mayor, oh, that's a, that's a horror skin. Yeah, I've heard about, you know, this is all just great stuff. I've heard of the situations where people were unable to use the stairs and the next thing you know, they're going 30 miles an hour upstairs.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I've heard of dogs that if funny enough, it'll slow down a dog. If you've got a dog that's moving too fast to pet, if you've got a dog that's just like, you can't seem to get a handle on it. It's got that soft fur, but it's just moving too fast. You have a dog listen to this and it's going to slow it down so you can pet that dog. So I would. Oh, this is all, yeah, this is like when, when, if you've got, and I'll tell you, man, this is the thing that it makes, you know, this is one of the most, to me, one of them,
Starting point is 00:45:45 it's a, it tells us of the times. One of the most sad things right now is you got all these kids, their parents, they gave them puppies companions. They gave them these fast dogs and all they want to do is pet that dog. And all that dog wants is to feel the soft hand of that toddler rubbing against their fur, but the dog's excitable and the toddler compared to the speed of that dog is slow. And it's just your, it's like a Greek tragedy. William Shakespeare himself couldn't come up with some more sad, more sad than a fast dog
Starting point is 00:46:26 and a slow child. And to watch those two things interact, it's watching matter and antimatter engaged in the infinite dance of sorrow that makes up our universe. Never the twain shall meet. Never the twain shall meet. This will slow down your dog. Monica. Now, if your dog's already slow, have him leave the room.
Starting point is 00:46:46 You don't want, you know. Oh, it'll slow down to a, to a statue. Now that, then that will happen. I've crystallized many a dog from this ceremony. Now I'm going to begin. That was beautiful. My goodness. Gosh.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Outstanding. What a beautiful sound. I hope all the listeners got everything they needed and the one out of that. And there's no negative effects. Beautiful, Monica. Well, I just want to thank you. Delco for having me on. It has been an honor and a pleasure.
Starting point is 00:47:51 I think I was a little salty in the beginning. I want to apologize to y'all. It's okay. You now woke up on the wrong side of the bed. It takes everybody a little bit to get lubricated. That's just how life is. That's how it is. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:17 That was the Leather Rose, everybody. Won't you subscribe to the Leather Rose? All the links are going to be at DugetRussell.com. Much thanks to our wonderful sponsors. And of course, to my co-host, Johnny Pemberton, I'm excited for you to hear this brand new podcast. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Until then, Hare Krishna. Good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, J.C. Penney. Family get-togethers to fancy occasions, wedding season two. We do it all in style, dresses, suiting, and plenty of color to play with. Get fixed up with brands like Liz Claybourne, Worthington, Stafford, and J. Ferrar.
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