Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 490: Erin Trussell
Episode Date: February 5, 2022Erin Trussell, cult-mommy and Duncan's intimate lover, re-joins the DTFH! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Purple - Visit Purple.com/Duncan10 and u...se promo code DUNCAN10 for $200 Off any mattress order of $1500 or more! Diet Smoke - Use promo code DUNCAN at checkout for 20% Off your first order! Everything 420 - Use promo code DUNCAN at checkout for 15% Off nearly everything in stock!
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Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now.
You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music.
Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now.
New album and tour date coming this summer.
I try to put you down.
Cause I know it's usin'.
Then I pick you back up and start puffin' again.
You're a little bit like a devil and a little bit like my free friend.
I don't care that you might be makin' me sick.
I don't care that you look like R2-D2's dick.
Just wanna pull my vape juice in and start blowin' clouds again.
Drippin' juice, flight was off the rack, modern trigger box.
Voltage has been hacked, we can't escape.
The steam that we vape, trains off the tracks.
We became what we spate, a theory of cumulonimbus.
Can't comprehend the clouds that sting us.
We float, we fly, we puff, puff, puff until we die, die, die.
I'm just a clown in the clouds.
All thunder and lightning, rain never touch the ground.
Wise men say, well when the fools rush in.
Wise men say, slow down or you'll forget your vape pin.
Leave the club to go to a gas station.
Then you gotta go back again.
Got my vape box ready to rip.
I'm gonna ride it like a skateboard.
Take a little trip, blamboon, puff, spray it to the moon.
Can't see the sky, it's all spellin' dooms.
We did and we're back again, same place we started.
Only got one question and that's, who farted?
It wasn't me, I don't blow that kind of cloud.
Who farted?
We reached the destination, you're gonna have to get out.
Who farted?
It wasn't me.
See you later, have a great night.
Fucking asshole.
That was ethereal cumulonimbus by Reginald Anderson Peter
and Colonel French Daisy and also you might have noticed
that Johnny Pemberton was featured in this track
which is now actually number 15 on the Davidson part charts
and that is incredible for Johnny.
I'm really excited for his success.
Of course, you can say that you knew him before he rose
to hip hop fame because you follow his Twitch stream
which is twitch.tv.
Please, will you just follow his Twitch?
Press pause on this thing, unmount your lover
and climb out of the bathtub and splash on into your living room
or kitchen or bedroom where your computer is
type in twitch.tv slash Johnny Pemberton
then hop back into your love tub.
This is a very intimate episode today friends, maybe too intimate.
Actually, I don't know, you do a podcast too long
and you stop being able to tell, you know,
for my breeder friends out there, you're probably aware of the fact
that this isn't exactly like the best time in human history
to be raising kids or to be married or to not be married
or just to be a human.
You know, I think one of the satanic things
and this is not a hot take but truly one of the satanic things
about Instagram or anything where people are taking pictures of themselves
is it just doesn't tell the whole truth and you can get fooled.
You look and you see some beautiful person
basking about on some exotic beach.
You're on the toilet.
You've got a combination of oatmeal and applesauce,
puke, all over your shirt.
You're already late to drop the kid off at school.
You're just looking at him.
How beautiful they look.
How beautiful that fucking sand looks.
And you think, wow.
I hope I'm alright.
I think I took too much psyllium husk.
While they're out there, lounging around
some beautiful exotic beach.
I'm having a weird bowel movement in the mountains while I'm covered in baby puke.
Do I even exist anymore?
We vaguely contemplated editing this one
but we're just gonna throw it out there.
I think it's a really good one actually.
So we're gonna jump right into it.
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alright pals here we go with us here today
is my beautiful wife
the mother of my children
and an all around amazing human being
everyone please welcome back to the DTFH Aaron Trussell
Welcome back to the show
It's great to see you again
Good to see you
You're welcome
Welcome back to the show
Welcome back to the show
Welcome back to the show
It's great to see you again
It's great to see you again
I haven't seen you very much
Not over the last couple of years, no
I've changed, you see I have a lot of gray hair
Yeah
and I look a little tired
Yeah, you're tired
Why wouldn't you be?
Messy bun and sweatpants
Default mom mode
DMM
You're a mom, hardcore mom
Yeah
Like if kids were heroin people would be like wow
I like kids like people like heroin
You're addicted to reproducing? Yeah
That's another topic
Another topic for what?
Really, what's it another topic for?
Another time
Are you all of a sudden shy?
We've been arguing about when to do this podcast
We're going to LA next week
to scope it out, we're trying to decide between
LA and Austin and
We're in Asheville currently
and I thought it was that we would wait
and go and do this podcast in LA
In a nice hotel room
And Erin felt rejected because she wanted to do it here in LA
I felt
Or in Asheville
Yeah, well I felt that it was maybe too celebratory
See I don't see the trip to LA
To do it in a nice hotel when we're
Even though I'll be very sad away from our kids
I don't see it as celebratory
It's just weird
Weird? Yeah we're going to
The city we left
To see if we want to go back and live there with our tail between our legs
And we, yeah
And some days it's home and some days we're like
Why the fuck would we ever move back there
Yeah right
And other days we're just heart sick about it
It's a sentimental journey
And it's like, you know, it's all based on attachment
We're all attached, you know, it's like
Sentimentality and attachment
Identity, all this weird shit
That like, you know, you're making it in a big city
Yeah, glamour and like all this ego shit
But all that stuff, what I love about having kids
Is like all that stuff really gets
Completely
Well at least semi vaporized by the reality of like
No, I have kids, like I have to
These kids need to be in a place
That is not only going to be
Full of culture
And diversity and opportunity
But just basically safe
Like that's the thing that we want, that was why we came here
You know, this idea of
You know, well shit man, all these earthquakes
And fires and
And us not seeing the
Prospect of being homeowners
In California, in Los Angeles
And
And schooling and everything else
That is probably easy to imagine
Like all the generic easy to imagine
Things that you would face
Being in Los Angeles
Is what drove us out
Yeah, we left, we fled
Not only did we literally white flight
But we are
We are
And we were literally white flight
We're white and we fled
That is true
Yeah, okay, yeah, we're white and we fled
But I mean
You don't need to say cut it, it's not like anyone listening to this is like
Yeah, we're white and we fled
Yeah, it's complex and whatever
But I lost my train of thought now
Cause I said white flight
Yeah, just invoked something in me
It hasn't occurred to you yet that we're white flight
No, my point was going to be that
We fled, but we
We were just so boisterous in the way we fled
We're like we'll never want to be here again
This place is a complete piece of shit
Anyone who lives here is an idiot
Anyone who's raising kids here, you're wrong
It's wrong, it's unethical
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I mean we left in a
Maelstrom of just running our
Just running our mouths
We're basically like the blue angels of white flight
Like if white flight was like a show
But we ran our mouths
Yeah, that's what we do
I know, but about this in particular
Yeah, we were so, yeah
We were so boisterous about it
Dumb, proud idiots
Proud, yeah, proud, like very proud
Certain
Certain, but the truth is we were terrified
We were terrified
We were terrified, but certainly
Yeah, that's not a good combination
Never, it causes holocausts
But we were like, oh yeah
We shrugged it all off
We were like, you don't eat it
We were so annoying to our friends
We were staying there
Yeah, totally passive-aggressive
No, not passive
It wasn't passive
Aggressive-aggressive
We were so loud and annoying about it
And you know, we moved here
And I was pregnant and we
And coronavirus
Like this entire, this pandemic was
It was September 2020
When we arrived here
Really?
Yes
I don't remember
So, I'm the date-keeper of the family
That was cool though
No, we first guy was pretty fucking cool
No, it was like a, I felt like
I could breathe
I was pregnant
I was halfway through my pregnancy
I felt like I could just literally
Take in fresh mountain air
It was just, it was incredible
It was incredible
It was adventurous
Yeah, it was adventurous
It was fun, we got a cabin
It was beautiful
It had a gorgeous view
It was tiny, the house
But I mean, it wasn't really a cabin
It was a cabin more in its locale
But it wasn't, like it was a little house
It was cool
Had Buddha statues everywhere
Yeah, it already had Buddha statues everywhere
It just felt like totally divine
Where we needed to be
I thought it was the best
Our son was almost two
I was pregnant
It felt safe
Felt good
We were like, what, 30 minutes outside
Of any kind of town?
Yeah
40 minutes
40 minutes
30, 40 minutes
Yeah
That was great
That was a good-
That's the last time we heard from you
I think
I think that was the last podcast we did
I don't know
From there
No
Maybe we did one more after that
We did one in Georgia
Oh yeah, we did one in Georgia
Yeah
Oh, that was a fun time
Yeah
But
Anyway, so I guess there's a gulf between
Like how we got
To going
To check out LA and getting here
But
I don't even know where to-
I don't know how to-
I don't know where to start
Well
I think the
I've talked about this
On this podcast
But you sort of like
You know
This is one of the big fantasies in life
I think is that
There's this idea of like
Uprooting yourself and moving from point A to point B
Or like the mountain fantasies
Specifically
Like
Yeah
Moving to the mountains
Right
Moving to the middle of nowhere
Moving to the country
That's like
That's a trope
It's a trope
And it's also a
I think it's also a
It's a kind of pipe dream
Like
The pipe dream
You have
Probably everyone has some kind of pipe dream
About well
If I had this thing or that thing
Then I'd probably be happy
A simpler life
Yeah, simpler life
Let's just speak specifically
Given that we are city folk
And I think a lot of city folk
That's a city folk though
You say that
We're city people
Duncan
I know
But whenever you say that
I feel like we are like
Totally in a Hallmark Channel movie
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We're City People
Duncan
I know
But whenever you say that
I feel like
We are
Totally in a
Hallmark Channel movie
Cause that's the kind of
We are
It feels like that
Like
I feel like that
I do feel like that
Yeah
We're City People
What would the title
Of our Hallmark Channel movie
Be?
Lost and Found
Yeah
That's pretty good
I think that's pretty good
I think that's pretty good
We're City People
We're City People
We're City People
We're City People
Yeah
That's pretty good
I think that's actually
A little too artistic
Okay
Like I think
No I don't think so
I think it's really cheesy
And on the nose
I think it would be more
Like
LA Couple
LA Couple
Mountain
Move
No
Like the names of their shows
Are
Yeah
It would be like
Mountain Express
Oh yeah you're right
That is what it would be
You haven't
You haven't fully grasped
The Hallmark
It would be
Mountain Express
It would be like
I would have to be like
A reporter
Yeah
Who's like
At re
Like re-assigned to
Be
To work at the
Mountain Express
And I was a girl
Visiting from the big city
My dad's here
And
Like his farm
His ranch
Is not doing well
And you have a successful
Blog
Blog
How old are you?
Blog
Blog
It's the Hallmark Channel
It's the Hallmark Channel
You're a successful
I don't think
I think it's vlog
Yeah it's vlog
Blog is
Dead
The point is
We come here
And then
Like something happens
And we realize
Oh wait
The city is really home
We feel like that
That's the
Stupid ideas
Like
Yeah
And you know what
For a moment
I think we did
Feel like that
Because we felt safe
And that was rare
And we were
We were
We were literally
Traumatized
I mean
I'm still traumatized
But we were like
Our nervous systems
Like
One time
We went out to eat
In Weaverville
Which is like
It's
There's one road
It's a main street
It's called
Main Street
I think
And like
It's a teeny tiny
Really really cute
Town
And it has like
Like I said
A main strip
And we were like
Eating dinner
At one of the three
Restaurants
Two restaurants
There
And
Like
Some people were laughing
Loud
I feel like we talked about this
Already
Who cares?
Nobody pays attention
To podcasts
People were laughing loud
And we were sitting outside
And we both just like
Cranked our necks
And
In fear of like
What was happening
Because we
Scared by laughter
We were scared of people
We were scared of people
On the streets
Screaming
Attacking us
Potentially
We were scared of like
The sound of helicopters
All day long
Oh my god
We were always having helicopters
Fly over our house
Black ones
Yeah
So and then Duncan and I
Well you can just imagine
Like
You guys know Duncan
You don't know me very well
But between the two of us
Like the paranoid fantasies
We can spin up
About
Black helicopters
During you know
March, April, May, June, July
2020
Like what we thought might
Might be coming down the line
When we were seeing that
Oh my god
Yeah, totally
So all that
All that
All that and then we get here
And it's quiet and we're just
You know
But like
Then I had the baby and
Reality sets in
We're in a place with 90
I don't know
Can you look up
Doesn't matter
Make it up
No I don't want to
90,000 people
90,000 people
I'm looking it up
I think
I think it's like
There's more
No it's more than that
Okay I'm
What is it?
No okay yeah
Asheville population
91,560
Look up the Burning Man
What's the population of Burning Man
Just curious
I'm sure it's more than that
Is it?
I don't know
No
Oh wait
Like 50,000
Okay
Yeah
So it's like
Asheville's like two Burning Man
Oh no it has had 80,000
Yeah
And times
Looks like it
Flows
Ebs and flows
But
It does that's what I always say
But
The burn ebs
The burn flows
Tools of the trade
Yeah
But anyway
I don't know
Reality sets in
It's cold
It's isolated
It's the mountains
I like became unhappy here first
I think
And then we struggled with that
In our relationship
Yeah
A little bit
That caused a great
Issue for us
Well
You didn't want to move again
We just bought this beautiful house
Our house is gorgeous
Right I know I know
But like this was
Also like there's a lot of beautiful things
That happen here
You have to really
You know here's the thing
Nobody wants to go to therapy
If you are
Like in fact wanting to go to therapy
Is a sign that you are
Fucking out of your mind
Actually
Like
Nobody wants to go
Like it's
Like skin
Like if you're
If you're a burn victim
Are you saying like being here's therapy?
I think so
I think that
I guess
I think sometimes
I'm not saying
It's revealed things about ourselves
For sure
Well I just don't think
Like I think there is a
Difference
Between
Like
The movie idea
Of happiness
And like actual happiness
Or like
Or actual stability
Like you can't get
The only way to find stability
Is to be out of balance
You can't
You have to
We're not out of balance though
We're fucking bored
Yeah but that is a form of
Like I'm not
By the way I'm not saying like
One of our ongoing
Like one of Aaron's
Forgive me if I say this
It's like a rejection
That you put on me is this
Weird idea that I secretly
Want to
Stay here
And I
I'm letting go of it
More
Right
But
You know what happens
When you're married
And you have kids
A lot of things
A lot of things
You basically it's like
You're with this person
And you both throw yourself
Into some kind of combination
Centrifuge pressure cooker
Yeah
And then in that
Any kind of
Any kind of rough edges
Go from being like
You know just annoying
To being like potentially
Catastrophic
Totally
So
What ends up happening is
You either
Figure out a way to
Get those rough edges
Sanded down
Or you
Or the whole thing
It has to like
Naturally just like
Fall apart
So
You know
While we are here
And I don't think it's like
Even being confessional to say
Because I think
From what I've heard
Lots of couples right now
Married couples
Relationship
It's been absolutely
Bad shit
Brutal
No like
Brutal beyond
Brutal beyond
Brutal
I mean
Aside from us
Living in the mountains
You know what I just pictured
Alone
You know what I just pictured
What
This beautiful dude
Kind of looks like Thor
Getting his
Getting his dick sucked
By this beautiful
Like I don't know
Like Arian
Like I don't know
Why you're listening to my podcast
Getting full aided
But
Like
This beautiful
I'm just picturing this beautiful couple
Okay
Their kids are sleeping upstairs
Okay
Hearing this and they're like
Not us
They're like this was
Not us
This has been wonderful
I've learned to love her even more
Actually
I have learned to love you anymore
But I haven't enjoyed
The journey to get there
It's horrible
It's been horrible
It's been horrible
Horrible
We have looked
Separation in the face
We have looked
Everything in the face
Every possibility that
Could have been
Has been discussed
Yeah
Do you want to know why
Because
We
Are the only people
We see in 3D every day
Oh god
So it also leaves a lot of
Great room
For every kind of discussion
You could have
With your partner
Yeah
That's the
To me like the
That's
That's sort of the
Everyone's life
All of a sudden turned into
One of those stupid game shows
Where you're stuck in an island
With a bunch of assholes
Like
Everyone's life turned into that
Like we all ended up
Like what ended up
Happening for a long time
Maybe some of you
Are out of the bubble by now
But we all
In some form or fashion
Found ourselves
No longer in like
A consensual
Bubble
Of like
This is my life
And these are my boundaries
But it kind of like
No
It was all non-consensual
Right
It was like a
None of us agreed to this
Societally induced bubble
And now that bubble
Whatever the circumference
Of the bubble is
It completely depends on
What state you happen to be in
And you're like
Your tolerance level
For it
And your tolerance level
And your risk assessment
And your risk assessment
And your like
A variety of things
But we chose
For much of the last two years
To exert
At times
Extreme amount of caution
Part of it being
That I was pregnant
During some of that
So when we got here
Just being extremely paranoid
About contracting the virus
Because at one point
In my pregnancy
It was like a kind of
A okay spot
Where it was like the normal
Terror in my pregnancy
But then there was a
Late spot in my pregnancy
When we were here
Where in if I contracted
The virus
That I would give birth alone
Yeah
I would give birth alone
That was like a real thing
You wouldn't be permitted to
That was the policy then
I think they've since changed it
And the partner can
Come
If they're negative
Yeah
If the partner's negative
But at the time
I was maybe gonna have to
Give birth alone
We were dealing with that
You know
Then the kids
Then the this
Whatever
We had our reasons
But we've like
Been extremely careful
Over the last two years
Not consistently
But the most part
It ebbs and flows
But for the most part like
So that's just been you know
Which by the way
I'm not committed to
On any level anymore
Committed to what?
I don't care anymore
I'm not
Oh you've gone nihilist
No I care
Okay let me rephrase that
I like my whole family
Just had COVID
And I'm triple vaxxed
But I will no longer
Like my
Done
I'm not
Unless like
New information comes around
Like
I told a school
Actually in LA today
They had like a very
Insane policy
We were gonna go visit the school
And I told them
They wanted
Triple vaxxing
Triple vaxxing for me
For me to be able to come
I had to be triple vaxxing
Hold on
So
Yeah okay
The one where they
Sorry we had to take a break
Cause food was delivered
They wanted triple vaxx
They wanted
Parents be triple vaxx
They wanted also a negative test
Same day
So they wanted both of those things
We all just had COVID
And I'm like
No
No
You're exhausted
I just said
I'm withdrawing my son's application
From your school
It's been
A long two years
We've all just recovered from COVID
And we are looking to relax
Right
Stage of the game
What do they do?
They said
Fuck you
I'm gonna fucking cancel your whole family
We actually got an email from Fauci
He's like
Are you okay?
They're like
Squarespace
You can forget it
Well to
You know to me like
Fuck you
To me one of the
One of the particularly clawing
Aspects
Of the
Tribe
That is like
Hyper
Get vaxxed
Hyper
Mask
Hyper like
Whatever the fuck you think is
That what really one of the clawing aspects of it is
The lack of compassion
Because
Or empathy
There's
There seems to be this
Like
Weird
Like they're completely connected to
Biological realities
To
The current cutting edge of science
To whatever the current thing is
Regardless of
Current by the way
Changing every minute
Right
Like our friend just pointed out
That
Things that were
Conspiracies
A few months ago
Are now
Considered
General knowledge
And accepted fact
Right
So
There's an adherence to this sort of like
Generally accepted
Like this is what's happening
And that's okay
I think that's actually a
Probably a
Like how science works
It's like they have the information they have
That they have it
And it updates
As the research comes along
That makes sense to me
I do think that's a
A result of like
Probably going to college
Like if you've gone to college
And you've studied statistics
The scientific method
Any basic biology
Or anything
You have this awareness of how people come
To
Like what is
Yeah I haven't finished college
What is known as
Scientific fact
Get that out there
And
But you know if you
Like you know if you
Like I
Not to brag
I have a bachelor's degree in psychology
The shit gets hammered into your head
And it's intense
And it's like
It's serious
And like they explain
Why it's serious
And why you need
This rigorous way
Of coming up with
This is what's real
And this is what isn't real
And so
There's a
Once you've learned that
There is a natural predisposition
To be like
Yeah of course
That shit a few months ago
Was wrong
Because they got more data
And the data showed
This is right
All that stuff is fine
Whatever
The problem is
That within all of that
It's like this other
Thing is lost
Which is
Guess what
Not everybody had to
Suffer through a fucking
Statistics class
Not everybody had to
Learn calculus
Not everyone had to
Yeah but also like
Certain things can be
Measured by statistics
And certain things
Or certain things won't
Be for a long time
Like
Like
Like
Like
How our children are suffering
And what they're going through
And it's going to take
Some real time
To get some quantifiable data
On that
Absolutely
However
Mothers
And fathers
Are watching this in real time
With their children
And we've had enough
You mean like
When you're putting the mask
On the kid and you tell him
It's what Spider-Man would wear
That kind of
Those kind of
Serial moments
Or like
One of our children
Has like
An extreme
Aversion
To
The nose swab
And I really
Feel like
I'm ruining his childhood
When I've had to like
Repeatedly
And I know there's
Some people who are out there
Like well
We don't want to swab
Or we don't swab
We don't test
What
Dunk
I'm not there
That's like
If my kids have COVID
I want to know
Like
Like
I want to treat them
I want to know their symptoms
I want to look out for like
Post-viral
Syndrome
And whatever
Like I want to know that
So
I just don't want anyone to say
Well don't swab them
Because like
That's just been a reality
Even
To attend school
We've had to swab
Well no
Okay so
But I have felt
Like I just want to say
I have felt like
When I'm holding him down
And swabbing his nose
Like I'm ruining his childhood
Right
I am ruining his childhood
I don't want to get emotional
I don't think you're ruining his childhood
But I have felt like that
Like it has hurt me
How are you ruining his childhood?
It's just
You
It's just
Sad
For
Their
Like
For their life
To be
Massive
Swab
But if childhood's that fragile
We're fucked
There's people
There's people who are children
When bombs are being dropped
In World War II
People who are children
In all kinds of
In those people
Yeah
In those people
Suffer life long
Consequences
From their trauma
I'm just saying
If you asked them
Do you want
Which would you rather
Be
Bombs dropped
On your occasional swabs
They're going to be like
Of course
But you can always point to
Anything in life
Duncan and say
Oh well
There's someone suffering worse
I mean
I don't think that's the answer
I don't think you're ruining
The
Kids childhood
I know
I think you're right
I think you're right
I'm not going to tell you
Nuts
But I do think that there's a
Like
That
There is
That's just a visceral
Real moment
I've had as a mother
And I feel like
Other people can probably
Relate
Yeah sure
To that
And I know you felt it too
Like that day
When we were all exposed
And we knew we were getting
It
And we drove in our minivan
Waiting there
And having
To hold them down
In their car seats
I knew
Like I saw it in your eyes
That moment
Like
Yea you're like
You're like
This is
What is this
What is this
It was a Saturday afternoon
What is this
It was a Saturday morning
The Cinebytes are coming out
To do some kind of bizarre
Scientific alien
Thing to our kids
And like
You have to calm them down
And you want to stay calm
Yea you have to
Tell them
It's normal
Cause it is normal
Now
And
But inside
You're screaming
You're heart is
Breaking
No matter what decision you make
There is an entire
Massive demographic of people
Who are going to think you're an asshole
So
It's like
Okay so you want
You want to do the right thing
That's the essence of it
That's why we're getting tested
That's why people get tested
The reason people want to get tested
Is not just because they want to know
If they have COVID or not
It's because they want to know
If it's safe for them
To go out of their homes
And live their lives
There's a lot of different reasons
There's a lot of
Everyone has a different
But when you say
That's the primary point of testing
Is you don't want to spread it
To other people
Yea you don't want to spread it
I think so
Yes
So that's the primary
The primary point of testing
You don't want to spread it
To other people
And so
The basis of the thing
Is compassion
It's not
Self preservation
That you know
Chances are
If you get COVID
You're going to be okay
If you test positive
For COVID
No one can really
Even fucking do anything
Other than be like
I'm not a surgeon
Hopefully it's okay
COVID doesn't like you
And you'll survive this
That's pretty much it
It's fucked
You can take glutathione
There's a lot of
Like remedies out there
Who knows if they work
Or if they don't
My point is
We're getting tested
Not for self preservation
We're getting tested
Because you don't want to
Kill somebody with a shit
So that's what I'm saying
The root of the thing
Is compassion
The root of the thing
Is you don't want to get
Other people sick
I know
But I'm not even
I don't care about that
I mean I do care about that
I don't want to get anyone sick
But I'm just saying
Like just on a personal level
I'm just trying to like
I'm just saying that
It's been horrific
Right
Well no
And I know that's like obvious
But I just want to say it
I want to scream it from the root
It's horrible
I want to like
Say it to be a parent right now
Is um
An exhausting, never ending
Horrific risk benefit analysis
That is
A drain
Right
For my non-parent friends out there
The idea
Like what we used to take
For granted
Back in the day
Before the
Times that we're currently in
Is
There were a lot of things
You took for granted
For example school
Like pre-school
Pre-school, school
Dial-care
Child care
Right
You took it for granted
Like maybe snow would happen
If you live in a snowy place
If it sows a bunch
Your kids can't go to school
Yeah
But what happened is
This fucking disease
And so what happened is that
Just out of the blue
Cause with kids especially
Young kids especially
Getting a rhythm going is so important
Like
It's the only thing
The only thing
And they're so attuned
To that rhythm
That they need it
Any change in the rhythm
A later bed time
Like just any random change
It distressed them
It freaks them out
Cause they're like
They're trying to like
Use this like structure
This temporal structure
Which is their daily schedule
To grow as people
It's like
You could just
Any time it gets out of whack
They really don't like it
And so
COVID took that
And just blew it up
Cause even if as a parent
You like
Find childcare
Find a preschool
Find all these things for them
In any second
They're rolling closures
Rolling closures
Quarantines
And what goes along with a quarantine
Is of course
The possibility
That you are infected
Your kids were infected
So it's not just like
The kids have to stay home from school
It's
Oh my god
Are you going to be
One of the tiny percentage
Of children
That don't make it
That don't make it out of this
And you know statistically
No
You know it's not
But you still picture
Your child on a ventilator
Right
It's not like a snow day
Cause when there's a snow day
You're not like picturing
Your kid
Like in the hospital
As things kind of slide out of control
So there's a psychological aspect
To COVID
Yeah that's just worrying
About them medically
Okay then like
In a moment
You might be able to move past that
Now your marriage is
Fucked up
Because you're
You have
The structure of your life
Has completely fallen apart
Your partner's ability to work
Your ability to like
Even shower as a mom
Or whatever your situation is
It just completely falls apart
And there is no
Marriage that is not going to
Encounter like
Insane amounts of stress
As a result of that
Right
So it's like
Everything just
Completely
Can just fall apart
So quickly
So quickly
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Everything just completely
Can just fall apart so quickly
So quickly
Well this is the
Yeah
So this reality
Which I'm assuming
I don't think all of you out there
Are necessarily like riding the maelstrom
I think there must be pot
That's what's so bizarre about this thing
Is that
There's literally like
We're living in parallel time lines right now
The state that you're living in
You know
So everyone's living in these
We're just speaking specifically about
Our experience
But
Yeah
I mean
Times have been dark
Well yeah
And it's this sort of unrelenting
Reminder
That
You know when you're like taking up any kind of spiritual
Anything that
Like the wisdom traditions will
In some form or fashion
Remind you of your mortality
Well yeah
For me
I know for you
Your spirituality has been a great comfort
For me like a hundred percent
Really
Couldn't have gotten through
Without
My faith in God
And my religious beliefs
And my harajin Jesus
And
And everyone who was willing to come along
Oh no
You're like using all your phone numbers
And your spiritual rolling eggs
I'm fucking talking to leprechauns
Whatever it is
Santa Claus
I don't know
Paul, Peter
You really love us
Aliens
I'll take Aliens, Pleiadians
I don't know
Fucking celestial prophecy people
Yeah
Are you out there
I'll take them all
Pour it on please
Yeah
Yeah
They are there
See that's the other thing though
To me
Like some of the comfort
I find is not in some ambiguity
But in the real reality
That at any given moment
There are people
Like very, very advanced people
Who have dedicated their entire lives
To alleviating human suffering
Now those people
Take a lot of different forms
Doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists
But some of them are in fucking caves
I think some of them can probably levitate
And when you find yourself
In a particularly rotten place
As I think a lot of people are right now
You can really tune into that field
Like it's there
It's right
That's the other
Like paradoxical reality of this
Like tumultuous time
Is that in the midst of all of it
In a non-naive, wishful thinking kind of way
If you just calm down a little bit
You can feel something
There's something there that isn't all bad
There's something there
That's actually quite amazing
Yeah
And I don't
Like whatever that thing is
It gets drowned out though
That's the problem
It gets fucking drowned out
By all this stuff
This stuff is loud
Go back
To our relationship for a second
Because I feel like
We definitely touched on a lot of the negatives
Yeah
And there was a good bit of that
Horrible
Horrible
But we've both been in therapy
And separately in together
I don't want to gloss over it
But we're in a really good place right now
I think
But I think we should circle back to like
There was a disagreement about
Us
Staying here or not
And we were talking about LA
And so we're going to LA next week
See if we like it
So we have decided together
So one of those conflicts has resolved
We have decided to leave Asheville
Right
Right
And assuming there isn't something like
We don't know where
Which is kind of crazy
Also the other funny thing about
Making these kinds of decisions
And I do think like
I don't know how many of y'all
Have like this has occurred to you
Yeah
Probably a lot of you
But I think a growing kind of like
Cause one of the
Like in the consideration of like
This like global fucking trauma
That everyone went through
Everyone's going through
Growing through
Yeah
Like
Because a lot of us are just doing
Like one day at a time
Try to make it through
Yeah
Like the long term effect
Of this level of instability
And this very specific kind of chaos
Yeah
Which is really interesting
In that like
Like
In a general like
Environmental disaster
You see fire
You can see the meteor
You can see the bombs
You can see the results of the bombs
And in there
In that scene
The results of the bombs
And the fires
And all the things that have plagued
Humanity from
For as long as there's history
There's a natural thing that happens
Which is that like
You know after an earthquake
It's the cliche everyone talks about
Things get quiet
Yeah
And then people help
They go and pull fucking boulders off
And they're like
Their identity dissolves
And they're like
Let me fucking help
It's a famous thing that happens
It's a beautiful thing
It shows what humans really are
And part of it is because you could see
The rubble
And hear the screaming
And see the fires
What's your point?
My point is that in this case
With a pandemic
Even though you see a number
Which is the number of people
Who are literally dying every day
It's
Yeah, 800
Almost 900,000 people
In this country dead
Yes
Right
You know of plane crashes
The plane has 200 people in it
And that's going to be news for a long time
You're going to have footage
Of the fucking wreckage
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Right, so my point is that
The normal way that compassion
Within a human being is generated
Is not being generated right now
Because it's hard for numbers
To generate
No, we're just being blown out every day
Compassion blow out
Right, right
We're just
There's no
We're fatigued
Right, so it seems
There's a surreal quality to it
People will message me
And say
I feel like I'm in a dream
This doesn't seem quite real
I feel like that every day
Oh, God
Disassociated people are disassociated
I'm disassociating like
500 times a day
Are you kidding?
It's the fucking pet rock of COVID
And no one wants to admit it
As a former Academy addict
I'm like, oh, I'm disassociating, cool
This is awesome
I'm disassociating
Wow, that's great
I don't even need to ask it anymore
Or anything
I feel like high every day
Just on the like
Sheer
Dreamy quality
Yeah
In horror
Well, yeah
Yeah, I mean it is
But you know
It's like
And it is horrible
And it's
And also I think it's
Like you have to say
It's incomprehensibly horrible
Yeah
In the sense that
Literally incomprehensible
We cannot understand
It's HP Lovecraft
What's even happening
Okay, but
We all know that
I just want to
Good night
One kind of fun thing
Good night
That was shut up
It's incomprehensibly horrible
You've been listening
To the Duncan Dressel Family Art Podcast
Hope you feel better
Sweet dreams
No, okay
But I just want to go more like
On personally to us
So like
All that's been going on
But we're also
Just not
Like we know the place we're in
Is not the forever place for us
For like a few different reasons
Like the biggest one for me
Is it's too cold
I'm way too cold
I need to be outside
I like the sun
Beating hot in my shoulders
I like
My freckles are like
I need them
Your freckles?
To come out more
Yeah, that's like the measure
Of my happiness
So
I know that's like
What?
Terrible for
Skin cancer
You're saying you're fucking freckles
Or the measure of your
I like the sun
The more freckles you are
The happier you are
Like you've got a weird
My little pony thing
Yeah, maybe so
Maybe so
I've never heard you say that
But I think it
I think it
You think like
Oh my god, I have freckles
I should be happy
I always have freckles, Duncan
But I'm just saying
You know, whenever I look at
Like the happiest times of my life
You like freckles?
More freckles
More of them
That's literally the craziest thing
I've ever heard you say
Anyway
It's too cool
There's another
Types of reasons
You mean like
You're like a frog
No, listen
You're like so got a weird
Frog in a pet store
Where they're like
If it has freckles
It's diet is good
Yeah
Yeah
Moving on
Other reasons
Oh shit, man
You'll agree too, okay
Your frogs
Freckles
You don't want to stay here
Either
In Asheville?
No
I don't really want to stay in Asheville
Yeah, so like
Okay, we didn't agree on that
But we do now
Well, my realization is
Really far up
It's like
Embarrassed
It's like the height of embarrassed
It's like really embarrassed
You don't have to share
I'll share it
I tell them everything
Generally
Almost everything
Honestly, you've told them
More than I have
In this podcast
But that's probably good
The
No, you know
We have
We got luck
I don't know how we lucked into this
We got a great fucking therapist
Ramdas used to say
You're only good as your therapist
We got this
Insanely good marriage counselor
Like she is like a
It's like some combination
Mystical person and like just plumber
Like she's
So good
So good
She's like a mystical mind plumber
But like
You know, just like getting like a
Everyone raves about their therapist
Do they really?
No, some people don't
Now I've had shitty therapists
Yeah, everyone has
Everyone has
Okay
The therapist
What the fuck are you doing?
What was your point?
That therapist was like
Are you gonna fucking
Like do something bad to me?
That we came together
Can I ask them to see my dick?
I've had therapists where I've thought that
I'm like, are you gonna ask me
To show you my dick or something?
And you would like it
And you would enjoy it
That's the next thought
I'd probably like it
You would like it
If your therapist is like
Show me your dick
You would like that
You know most of my
It's not like you'd be like
Oh, no
You'd be like
Ugh, okay
No, I wouldn't
Here's my dick
No, I wouldn't
You should see some
No, my therapist
You wouldn't care
You would do it
Just for the fun of it
I know you
No, I would not
Yeah, you would
If the therapist was hot
No, you wouldn't care
I would care
I'm sorry
There needs to be
If they were like decent
If they were like just okay
You'd be like
Ugh, this is so weird
90% of my therapists have been dudes
I'm not gonna like
Be like
Alright, man
Look at my dick
Suck my dick, man
Can we just go back to
Maybe I would
We've decided to leave
Asheville, okay
We have
And you want to too
And
That's why we're going to
LA next week
Although Austin
Is at the top of our list as well
But LA has everyone we love
Yeah, but it's very expensive
We actually, before us, a list
I will not share
But we have pros and cons lists
Don't share the list
I won't
I'm not going to
I'm just saying
We're really
It's come down to the list making
Well
I think we already know
We're gonna land
Yeah, we do
But we'll see
Who knows
But
But I think
Through our conflict
In the horror
Of the last few years
I think we
We're in a really good place right now
I do too
You know, there is a term in Buddhism
That I love
Poison into medicine
It's the idea
And it shows up in a lot of different forms of Buddhism
But it's the idea that
Weirdly
It's a weird idea
That I never really understood
In fact, I think someone
You know, anytime you get a message
From someone telling you
On Instagram
That they've gotten enlightened
You're just like
Alright
I guess so
No, that's bullshit
Well, right
But this person
Actually did say something to be
That was really interesting
But I
Shut
You know what they said
What?
They said
Either you will
Gain enlightenment
Or
Your suffering will be your enlightenment
And I remember
Like reading that
I was on the toilet
I remember specifically
Being on the toilet
And reading that
Being like
Margie back
Like congrats on getting enlightened
But like
The
I thought
It annoyed me
Because I thought about that
Long after this
Whoever they are
Wrote this to me
I think they were saying
Come to India
Come follow me in India
It was really weird
But like
Then I thought about it
And I thought
And then later
As I was like studying
More Buddhism
That is actually coming up
A lot
Which is
Your suffering
Is really your enlightenment
But
In the way that like
The floor is the
Ceiling
When you're standing on your head
If that makes any sense at all
It makes sense
Yeah
And so
So like
So I think that
Whenever you find yourself
In a
Time period
Like ever all
A lot of us are in
And like us
Maybe a little bit
Displaced
Yeah
And you're like married
And you got kids
And you love the fucking kids
But you're stuck at home
You're stuck at home
You're supposed to be
You're supposed to be
The mountains are surrounding you
On every side
I don't mind that so much
You've said it makes you feel claustrophobic
I know
But like
At times
To me like the
You have said it
I can admit it
I admit it
I admit it
Okay
To me though
Like I do want to go to a place
Where I can regularly do stand up
And
Well not that you can't do it here
But it's different
Look I'm not
I don't want to like
We talked about this before the podcast
I don't want to get into some like
Me either
Stupid like attack
On this little city
That's doing it
It's fucking best right now
With an incredible influx
Of assholes like us
It's not the city's problem
I don't think that's the message at all
No I know
It's clearly about us
Yeah
But
I have to say
To get back to the relationship stuff
That
You can't really hope
To find true peace
With a partner
Without going through all their rotten shit
Yeah
Maybe you have been in therapy
Before you met the person
And they've been in therapy
Yeah
And then I think in that case
There's a chance to like
Maybe not have to like
Confront the shit
I don't think so
I think you're going to just
Confront and confront and confront
I think you married
You know what
Many of my girlfriends
Who have been in therapy
We don't have the same kind of problems
That you and I have
Well
Sounds good for them
They have problems with all my dudes
Well you date fucking assholes
Okay we're making a joke
We're actually monogamous right now
Because it's all we can handle
Though we are accepting applications
For girlfriends at any time
I'm sure after this podcast
Oh god
There's a lot of ladies who are like
They're lining up
Oh my god
They're lining up
Stop the fucking podcast
Boy do I really want to connect with a
Displaced couple
I just want to see
A couple
I'm certain of where they're going to live
They though
With two kids and the wife
And by the way I want more kids
So
We've opened with that
My addiction to reproduction
I want another baby
Oh my god
I'm going to have to get someone
To handle my Instagram after this
We're going to get so many messages
I want another baby
That's my thing
I want more babies
I want to have a big family with Duncan
I love the children he gives me
I want to see them like
All running around
I want like
I just want as many kids as he'll give me
It's really bad
Why is that bad?
I know it's bad
Because it's like it's a lot
I don't know
It's counterculture I guess
But whatever
That's like my heart's desire
And I feel like
God is calling me to that
God is calling you which god?
Which god?
My god
Pan?
My god
But you know what I think marriage is
I think like
God is a god of come
My god is an awesome god
But listen
I really think marriage is like
When you
All the points you would get
When you're dating
Like you date someone for a long time
And you would reach these points
Where you're like
Ugh it's just an impasse
We just cannot
We have to separate
So you break up
You break up
In marriage you just hit that again
And again and again
And again
And you get stronger each time
No escape
No escape
Well there is escape
But you have to be
Yeah we could get divorced
Yeah
But we don't want to get divorced
Yeah there's
It's like
You and I are both empowered
And free spirit
We are
And if we wanted to get divorced
Like we would just get divorced
I love you so much
I love you so much
I don't want to fucking divorce
This sounds horrible
Never you're never getting rid of me
You're not getting rid of me
You say that
I'm gonna make you
I gotta say this
You say that
But you don't know
You don't understand
You're never getting rid of me
You're never getting rid of me
You're never getting rid of me
Genetically handcuffed
I will come in
And get you
Where will I be
I need your children
I need to bear more of your children
Hear this ladies
You could be one of these too
I need to bear more of your children
I need to be by your side
I need to support you in your career
I want to hold you and love you
And I just want to be with you
So I feel
But like
God damn
There's a lot of moments
Like in between that
What?
There's a lot of moments
In between that
No there isn't
Marriage is just an agreement
To stay together
You know
Many of my past lovers
Have described me
As a kind of ballerina
In my grace
You're full of shit
I've been described as a ballerina
People say
I've been described as an ice queen
Are you joking?
Someone called you an ice queen?
Hold
Cause I would just walk away
And walk away and walk away
I would just get in my car
And just leave someone
And never talk to them again
Well
So this has been a real blessing for me
Me too
Well I mean that's what I was trying to say earlier
Is it's like
I think there's a problem
In the world
Which is people have gotten confused about medicine
Like medicine
Medicine?
Yeah medicine
Like people have gotten confused about medicine
Cause there's this weird idea
That medicine is supposed to be pleasurable
That's popped up
Or the idea is like learning
Learning curves
Growing
Growth
Personal evolution
All this stuff
Yeah like when I work out
I ride my peloton every day
Like
Therapy
All of it
It's awful
Like
It's awful at times
It's not all awful
But it's a bitter
It's like yeah drinking
Okay but I don't want people to think
We're saying our marriage is like bitter medicine
You know what?
I gotta say
What?
Don't say that
Sometimes it is
Sometimes it is
But
Are you fucking kidding?
Like sometimes it really is
Yeah it can be but
Are something so
Good about it
Yeah
Well because it's you know it's love
But I don't this whole idea of like love being like
The problem is like this
People have crazy ideas about what love looks like
I'm not saying
But
Because like
You know look
This is something that I say all the time
What?
Every rose
Has it's thorn
As I say
Yeah and you say every
Night has it's dawn
What else do I say?
Just like every
How is it a sad song
Yeah
Yeah this I have tattooed on my right butt cheek
Right underneath a pentagram
I just think like
For me
For my personal experience
Like our marriage
I've just recognized
I recognize these little moments in our marriage
Where I'm like
Oh I've hit this wall before
In XYZ relationship whatever
And I'm like
And then I got the hell out of there
And by the way I'm only 28
So like I have a lot let
Like it's not that much
It's not like that much of experience
But I see like our marriage
It's more than anything
A confrontation with myself
Yeah
And my own trauma
Yeah
My own baggage
Yeah
And knowing that like
If I were to go elsewhere
I'd just be like starting at zero
And it would be just right there waiting for me
Not necessarily
What is this?
What you never think to yourself like who knows
Maybe like you
Yeah but imagine this
What? There's someone else
You find somebody and you're like
Oh my God
Duncan was a fucking asshole
I was just rationalizing the whole thing
With all this spiritual bullshit
That guy was a dick
You with some guys playing you violin
At night
Lotioning your feet
It's so annoying
Who the fuck played violin for you at night?
No I'm just saying that's not
Sustainable
That's NRE baby
What's NRE?
New relationship energy
Oh right right right
NRE
NRE
It can get you a few years
You know isn't that what was above Jesus's head
On the cross?
Henry
You sound like you wanted a new relationship
I don't want a new relationship
I'm not
Number one I'm joking
I completely concur with you
I know you are
I know you're done with me
I know I'm the end of the road for you
What?
I know I'm it for you
No you're not
You're not the end of the road
I mean not sexually
But I just know like relationship wise
What do you mean?
I know that
I'm the one for you
I mean
What about
I'm just baby I'm sorry
I'm trying to make a stupid joke of me
I love you so much
Of course you are
Of course you are
Look
I'm making a joke
What's a joke?
The joke was a person
Here's the format of the joke
In a podcast a person expresses some
Cineminal beautiful thing
And defuse
The romantic moment because
There's some spark of Lucifer inside of you
Trying to do a bad joke
Don't defuse
Now you have to bear your soul
You don't have to bear my soul
Yeah you do
No I don't
I don't have to bear my soul to the little podcast
There's nothing else to bear
I mean that is what it is
And also I just want to put out there
Like Duncan and I have a non-monogamous
Like we started our relationship
You don't have to do polyamory
No I'm just saying
So it's not like
Like we're definitely not the last people
Each other will be with
But
Especially sexually
But like
What the fuck does that mean?
Especially sexually
Like that's not an issue for us
What the fuck
It's not an issue for me
I will be the last
No I'm gonna be the last person
I will be the last man you touch
Well that's gonna be difficult
When you're 20 years older than me
Are you gonna lady chatterly lover?
You're gonna do
You're gonna fuck a huntsman?
It's a mess
That's a mess
Our kids are gonna listen to this
They're not gonna listen to this
They might
But I just mean
When I'm in a wheelchair
Quivering somewhere
You're gonna like
Go bang a like quail hunter
You'd be fine with that
Not really
But what am I gonna do
Like roll out of my wheelchair
I'll take care of you
What am I gonna do
Like fill up an extra diaper to punish you
Look if you give me
The amount of children I want
I'll just sign a deal to not
I don't know if I would even sign that deal
Sounds horrible
How many kids do you want?
None
How many are you willing to have?
For laying it all out
And by the way we've been drinking
This is a stupid question
Why?
I'll tell you why
Because
How many
How do you answer that?
Are you willing to have?
It's like
Like what's your
You know what it's like
When you have the paper thing
Okay I know
But what's your limit?
My limit on kids?
I don't have a limit
Or I don't have a limit
Or even know
You don't have a limit?
I don't know
I can't think that far ahead
I don't know
I'm doing it moment to fucking moment
Seriously
I think kids are complex
And right now it's like
A crazy time to have kids
But there's something in it
That I like
Yeah fuck it
Like let's just
Reproduce and get ripped apart
By like environmental tides
No but also
There's a sense of like
What else are we doing?
Like you know
Yeah are some of us
Going to get carried off
In some kind of apocalyptic cyclone?
No
No
But what else are we doing?
Are some of us
Going to get like
Ripped to shreds
By the thinnest wolf?
I was looking at rooms
In the Maldives today
And it's like
Why are you looking
At rooms in the Maldives?
Because
You are going nuts
Well really
Are we fucking Maldives
Right now?
No we're not
We're not
But I'm just saying
Yeah you can't even
Go to other countries
Because you might get
Like held in a room
For 14 days
At their discretion
So we might as well
Just have babies
Something I love to have
That is not like
The answer
Not being able to go
To the Maldives
That's the in fact
The cra-
You know what
We couldn't go to the
Maldives
So we thought
We would sentence
Another human to death
I think
God calls us
To have a large family
God calls us to do
By the way
I'm okay with another kid
But I can't
I can't promise you more
Than that
I mean that
We might need to have four
I don't think so
I don't think so
No way
In fact
I'm gonna have to say
We'll see how we
Fucking Jim Gaffigan
We're gonna
Pray on it
No one
Pray to who
Who gets to be
The receptacle
Of their response
From the divine
God
Yeah but
Who's
God
Who's God talking to
Koresh
Or
Like if a frog
Jumps at me
Well no in our hearts
Don't be so cynical
I'm not being cynical
You're like
You're already on
Kid number four
We only have two
I know
I'm just
I wanna leave
All the doors open
Sure leave the doors open
For any souls
That might be circling
Yeah but you can also
Bring those souls
In other ways
You can be
Mounted by the
Spirits
And let them speak
Through you
I can be mounted
By the spirit
By the spirit
No by the spirit
Not a dude
You're not getting
Mounted
No one's mounting
My wife
Just so you know
Well maybe
I wouldn't mind
A lady
Mounting you
Yeah
That's what I'm saying
I just see
Like the number four
And I think it's good
For us
Well
This has been
The Duncan Dressel Family
Hour Podcast
You have heard
Two lunatics
Rambling for
The last
Hour
How long
It's been about an hour
How long has it been
I don't know how to tell
On this
It's been over an hour
I'm pretty sure
And
We are now
But I do
Wanna say one thing
What
I love you
I love you
Love you so much
I love you
We're bullshitting
Right now
But like
What do you mean we're bullshitting
I mean we're being
Silly
But like I do
Love you so much
You do
I do
Like
I think you're so handsome
Gorgeous
I think I'm handsome
Yeah
Even my bald spot
It's growing
Yeah
I love your bald spot
I stared it right in the face
When we were dating
What about when the dog licks it
Then cracks me the fuck up
The worst
She's got this rotten dog
That climbs on the couch
And licks my bald spot
Like it's her job
Like it's her job
Satanic imp
Like it's her job
You know like
Just when you forget
You have a bald spot
I just wanna tell a story
I like
Looked at your bald spot
Yeah
In our Silver Lake
Bachelor pad
When I met you
And
This is gonna be great
I was really just completely falling in love with you
Like
Bad
Bad bad case
Like the worst case you could have
Of falling in love with someone
Like horribly
Oh my god
And when you saw my bald spot
You were like
Oh my god
This is the deal
That shiny kind of
You know I saw it
And I
It's like you said
Like you've said before
Like the bald spot
Like death
Like it's like
The
It's like you know like
The aging
You know like
Yeah
You know and then like
And I looked at it
And it looked back at me
And I was just like
I don't fucking care
Really
Really
And it was like
My bald spot looked at you
I love even that
Oh that's sweet
Like so much
I love
I love that so much
Like I love that part of him so much
Oh that's sweet
That's a cool thing
About having a bald spot
And I was 24
And I'm just saying
Like there was a lot
That went in
Into that
Cause you were 20 years older
Than me
But I was just like
I don't care
I love this
I need to have this
Have you even
Is it even
Dawned on you
That what you did
Marrying someone as old
As me
Now that you're like
Yeah
It's dawned on you
Like it's
It gets hard sometimes
Like sometimes
Like when your back
Has gone out
Oh my god
That's the way
And you're trying to fake it
Cause you don't want to see
So old
And she knows
And she's nagging at you
To go to the doctor
Yeah
Yeah
I've faced it
And you know what
You and I also sat
In that exact bachelor pad
And we shed tears
Like we cried together
Knowing that like
Our time together
Was gonna be
I mean no one knows
Their time on earth
But like
Likely
Yeah what the fuck
Likely
By the way
I don't remember this
Tear session
We were high
We were high
We were high
Yeah we were on drugs
You were high
What
Okay but I remember it
And
Um
I've done a lot less
We cried
than you
And I remember it very well
Some point we're high
And I start crying
And you're crying
And we cried together
We hear
You were like
I'm gonna leave you
I'm gonna leave
I'm gonna get emotional
You were like
I'm gonna leave you
Before
I'm gonna leave you
We're gonna
Like we knew we were
Together
We were planning on our marriage
We were planning on like
Our forever union
And you were like
I'm gonna leave you early
That is true
I remember that
You do remember it now
Yeah
And we were crying together
Well I felt unethical
You know not bringing that up
It's the truth
And I
And I did think about it
And you know what
The like a few weeks
Like two weeks before we married
We were in
Little Cumberland
In that house
And I read
A year of magical thinking
By Joan Didion
For like whatever
Time
And
I'm gonna ignore that
And
And I thought about
Like what it might be like
To lose you
Like I really
I thought about it all
And I just
I just like
And I thought about
I remember it being
In that room actually
That like
Kind of had a moldy smell
Like sand
But like in the good way
Like a beachy smell
Yeah
And I thought about
Like taking your last name
And I thought about
You dying before me
I thought about those two things
So it wasn't sure
If I wanted to take your last name
And I wasn't sure
If I could handle you dying
Before me
Well guess what
I was 24 by the way
And tender age
And
I just knew like
I just knew
I just knew you were the one for me
Well that's beautiful
But I'm not gonna die before you
I can guarantee that
You're gonna murder me
No I didn't say that
But I just
I just knew it
And I still know it
I love you
You're a wonderful sweetheart
I love you so much
Love you too
What a great mom you are too
I wish you all could see
What a great mom
We got on our hands here
A real genius
Truly
Like we got some lucky kids
And I didn't want to say
I'm like
I wanna also say
I'm a happy mom too
I love
I mean I'm an unhappy mom
In the circumstances
But like
I adore my
You're a great mom
I don't think anyone
Expects moms to be happy
All the fucking time
No I'm just saying
I'm happy to be happy
All the time
I wanna say that
You're happy in your role
I really like being your wife
I really like being a mother
I love our age difference
Like all of it
Well I love you
And thank you for being on my podcast
You're welcome
Even though we argued about
Whether to do it tonight or not
Whatever I don't care
I'm glad we did it
We're gonna eat the madness
Ugh
Can you tell what it is
Well actually the madness
I made fun of it
For the longest time
I made fun of it
Cause we there's like
It's in a strip mall by the library
It's a strip mall
It's a sushi place
Called the madness
Sushi and burger
Their big
Angle as they have burgers
And like so for
Months we made fun of the madness
Cause it was coming soon
Imitating like
What
How the person gave up with the name
A lot of stupid jokes
Right out of the madness
I fully expected it to suck
And it's actually really good
Quite good
And it's on our doorstep
It's very good actually
It's very good
Really good burgers
We're about to eat it
And we're hungry
And I just want to say
To like anyone that I came across
Wrong too
I'm really sorry
And
Me too
This was pretty raw
And where you have been drinking
So
Not that much
There's like two drinks
But
I'm sorry
They love you
I say that to God
Literally every day
That is my prayer
You just did my prayer
That's your prayer
I'm sorry
I love you
I say some
I say some
I don't know
Is that your mantra?
It's not a mantra
It's just a prayer
Some version of usually
It's I'm sorry
Forgive me
You are so forgiven
I love you babe
You're the best
Everyone's puking now
People are
People are like wrecking their cars
They vomit
And they sit in their own mouths
People are choking on their
I love you
Please don't ever leave me
I will not leave you
And I love you so much
Please
Everyone's literally
People are like
Stemming seizures of a bear
I love you guys
We gotta go bye
Hare Krishna
That was Aaron Trussell everybody
A tremendous thank you to our
Spotsers
And of course
Thank you for continuing
To listen to the DTFH
I'm gonna see you next week
With two episodes
Llamasomo
And Marcus Henderson
Until then
Hare Krishna
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JCPenney
A good time starts with a great wardrobe
Next stop, JCPenney
Family get-togethers
To fancy occasions
Wedding season two
We do it all in style
Dresses, suiting
And plenty of color to play with
Get fixed up with brands like
Liz Claiborne
Worthington
Stafford and Jay Farrar
Oh, and thereabouts for kids
Super cute and extra affordable
Check out the latest in-store
And we're never short on options
At JCP.com
All dressed up
Everywhere to go
JCPenney
We do it all in style
Dresses, suiting
And plenty of color to play with
Get fixed up with brands like
Liz Claiborne
Worthington
Stafford and Jay Farrar
Oh, and thereabouts for kids
Super cute and extra affordable
Check out the latest in-store
And we're never short on options
At JCP.com
All dressed up
Everywhere to go
JCP.com
All dressed up
Everywhere to go
JCP.com
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