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I want to start by thanking Asheville, North Carolina for the incredible sold out shows
at the Orange Peel.
It was so nice to come back home and perform for you satanic sweeties.
Folks, I would love for you to come see me do some stand up.
I'm going to be at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin July 18th through the 20th after that. I'm going to be at Helium in Buffalo August 8th, 9th, and 10th.
Then I'll be at SideSplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida August 15th, 16th, and 17th. I would love
to see you at any of these shows. Also I'm going to be at the Wilbur in Boston November 1st.
All these shows are really selling. Ashville sold out so don't sleep. Get the tickets in advance.
You can find them at dunkintrussell.com and if you want commercial free episodes of the DTFH go
to patreon.com forward slash DTFH and subscribe. All right let's do the podcast. Hey folks, welcome to the DTFH
and yet again I am doing something groundbreaking. Number one, what I did
already is I brought podcasting to YouTube. No one had thought of it and now
it's catching on. Just go on YouTube. There's millions of video podcasts now
because I jumped. I took the leap. I went diving off the precipice into the unknown and people
called me crazy when I told them I'm pretty sure people don't just want to listen to podcasts.
They actually want to see video. People said, are we talking about? No one wants to watch people
do a podcast. We just like to listen. And I said, I know you think that, but throughout history, from Genghis Khan to Tesla,
people were telling Genghis Khan,
I don't think people are gonna want you to conquer
most of the world and create giant mountains
of rotting corpses and lower the Earth's temperature
by killing so many people.
And Genghis Khan said, I hear you
and I appreciate your feedback,
but I'm pretty sure that I'm supposed to try
to take over the entire planet.
Tesla, people said nobody's going to give a shit about electricity, you weirdo.
Nobody wants electricity.
We all want lamps, lanterns, candles.
And he said, I appreciate your feedback, but I'm pretty sure people are going to want to
not have to worry about gas lamps exploding their home.
And in the same way, people told me, don't do video podcasts. It's going to destroy your career.
You will die. People will attack you in the streets. Dogs will attack you. When you're on walks,
they'll get off their leashes and they'll rip your stomach open and pull your entrails out
and chew on your guts with that slobbery joy that only truly happy dogs
exhibit and I said maybe so but it's worth it and boom now it appears that everyone is doing
video podcasts and I'm so happy because I just wanted to open the way, open the gate,
lower the drawbridge into the land of video podcasts. And I've done that and I don't expect thanks.
It's just something that I like to do.
And now I'm going to innovate again, because I think that people
desperately want to watch folks get ready
for going out with friends, for going to a lunch, for going to a banquet,
for going to a buffet, maybe a nice Sunday brunch.
I think people would really enjoy watching us get ready. What is your ritual for getting ready? And
so this episode of the DTFH is me shaving my head. So if you're interested in watching that,
you can find it on YouTube. You don't need to watch it. You'll hear the buzzer. I fixed the audio a little bit so it doesn't drown it out, but just as you're listening, imagine a beautiful muscular 50-year-old man with
an incredible physique, rippling abdominal muscles, glistening with a lavender oil, shaving his head
in the mirror as he talks. That's what this episode is. You don't need the visual component. In fact, I would say just imagine me.
You know what I look like.
I'm ripped.
I'm beautiful.
I'm covered in beautiful erotic tattoos
that were tattooed on me by Pierre Zynx
from the Tattoo Institute of Paris.
These tattoos, every single erotic moment I've ever had,
I have tattooed that
onto my body. And so you can just imagine my beautiful, freshly tanned, lavender
scented, muscular 50 year old body shaving my head in a vintage mirror that
used to be Queen Anne's mirror that was gifted to me by Prince Charles. And so now everybody, let's go! Come. Get
ready with me. To watch strangers as they sleep Cause now we got technology to help us live vicariously
No more stealing pennies as we slither through the streets
Oh yeah, oh yeah, get ready with me
Watch, watch, watch me
As I shave, shave, shave my head
Watch, watch, watch me as I put my kids to bed.
It's fun to watch, it's fun to peek.
So be a peeping creeper and get ready with me. Okay, so what I'm doing right now is something called chunking.
Somebody explained it to me that if you're busy, you should find a way to do two things
simultaneously.
So as you can see, I let my hair grow out too much and maybe it doesn't seem like it's grown out a lot but
once you start shaving your head you just want it like bald completely bald it feels good like I understand why monks do this stuff so this I have to start with this it's my wife's pussy shaver and she does not like that I'm using it. I defined it she
uh she hid it underneath the cabinet because she doesn't want me to use her
pussy shaver on my head and I don't blame her. Also the other thing is like
the amount of the nests that I make doing this is too clearly
horrific life's horrific it's terrible the mess that I could potentially leave
behind but we're gonna really work hard to clean up the fucking hair oh my god
actually I can't put this off anymore. Like, if you keep on top of shaving your head,
if you keep on top of shaving your head,
you don't have to use your wife's pussy shaver.
You can just use this next thing
that I'm gonna show you that
Sigurra gave me that is fucking incredible.
And this isn't an ad for that thing PS
I'll die if she yells so good now I don't know because I'm new to shaving my
head like many of you balds might be watching this technique and be like
thinking I'm out of my fucking board I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong do I use shaving cream at this point or should I just
be doing it dry? I don't know but it doesn't feel great at all and as you can see those little red
patches emerging a lot of gross like dry skin. Look you can see this is this is what dandruff is. It's a fucking dry skin under the scalp.
I like the sound it makes, but what I really like about it is that I don't have to worry
about my hair anymore.
Like I know, aesthetically, it's probably pretty disgusting.
I think people probably look at me and they don't like it.
In fact, Ron White told me that I look better with...
... hair.
With a little bit of hair up there.
But I don't like it, man.
Once you go bald, you just want completely shaves. Look at this. Oh
Yeah, just
Cubes
It actually I think my wife's pussy shaver has gotten dull
I my wife's pussy shaver has gotten dull. Um, I don't blame her. I mean this is part of being married.
It's like, you end up sharing stuff that you shouldn't be sharing.
Uh, but the reality is that...
I need to like I wanted to get my head cleaned up today and it ends up being this long process because I let it go and hopefully I'm going to cut some of this out. This cannot be scintillating content
for you guys. Jesus Christ. When I was, when I had it in, I would watch like the
sort of trope that you see in military films where the new recruit
gets their head shaved and feels so bad for them. But now I get it. It's the best.
Like I totally understand why monks do this. Because if you really want to
simplify your life, an easy place to start is your hair. Like Marie Kondo the shit out of your hair.
Like if you're balding, even if you're not, this removes this incredible time-seed.
Like for most people, hair eats up an insane amount of time. Like the amount of time we spent putting shampoo and
products into the fucking protein strands that for whatever reason our scalps think that they need
to make and let me tell you I get it like if I was like in Antarctica or something hair is an
added benefit but in Texas? Jesus Christ and, ugh, this is not a Texas summer beard.
That thing has got to get shaved down.
But I'm always going to keep the beard.
And if somebody wrote a comment saying, I wonder what he looks like without a beard.
If you want to know what I look like without a beard, just Google Stork.
Google Stork.
I barely have a chin so basically the Lord
decided that it would be a funny thing to do a crop circle here they're in top
of my head that kind of ball patch and to give me no chin but it's maybe
feeling sorry for me he was like but
let's make it so you can grow an insane fucking beard so thank you Jesus for
that I guess not so much for making my hair get thin I mean I think I could
still pull off hair but it doesn't look good.
You see right here?
This part, the receding tide is going back.
What?
Sometimes I think about evolutionary biology and I really shouldn't because I don't know
anything about it but that's never stopped me from thinking
about things before.
But you gotta wonder, like, why make male pattern baldness?
Like, why does that even exist?
And I wonder if it has something to do with, like, the universe not wanting old dads. Like if the idea is like some kind of warning sign to potential mates like dude watch out
this guy is fucking old.
You don't want to.
If he gets you pregnant he's going to keel over at the next hunt and then what are you
going to do?
Are you going to let some other member of your tribe
raise the kid, which actually is what the good thing
about being in a tribe, I think,
is probably the answer is yeah.
But I don't know, it's just so interesting
that some of us, our scouts are just like,
Our scalps are just like...
They have little like... Tine bombs and then built in.
And...
What...
Where I really messed up is this is when I was living in LA.
And um...
One of my friends, he was addicted to prescription meds, told me that
he'd found a pill mill. Now, if you don't know what that is, basically it's a place
where the doctor will prescribe anything to you and doesn't really care if you're a junkie. And so these places get really popular and
doctors know that so some doctors just take the risk and they will just
prescribe anything to you. This is like those pain clinics remember that before
the Sacklers went down the OxyPain clinics you drive through Florida and
all these things called pain clinics and you go in there and you're like,
dude, my arm is killing me.
And I'm like, why are you lying?
We don't care.
Here's pills.
And so this was one of those.
The pain clinic actually had a pharmacy in the clinic.
So the doctor was like doubling down.
He was not just like getting money for the appointments,
but he was getting money for the pharmacy too.
He got arrested, he went to jail.
But I went in there and I was so delighted
because I'd never been to a Pell-Mell before.
I'd always had to like lie to a doctor
if I wanted to get some kind of narcotic.
And so I wasn't coming in there though for narcotics.
I was coming in there for this stuff
that I'd read about called Madafinalil which I'd heard that fighter pilots were taking it
and that somehow it made you like not need sleep anymore like it completely
took that part of your brain that was refreshed from sleep and refreshed it
that was the story pharmaceutical companies are really fucking good at PR.
So I told him I wanted some modafinol and I'll never forget it. He goes, what dose?
Like he didn't even know the dose. And I'm like, I had no idea. I just read about this on a
message board. And so he like Googles in his phone what the dose should be.
Write to me prescription for midophenol and then goes anything else I'm like oh
yeah finasteride that stuff that makes your hair grow back and so he wrote me
a prescription for that and like I would take it it did not make my hair start
growing back but what it did do is it took away my sex drive.
But the other thing that happened not long after I was taking it
maybe like eight months or something is I got testicular cancer and
it is connected to testicular cancer. There's no way I'll ever know if that's why but
this is how absolutely
crazy people go from losing their hair. Like you just want to hang on to it. Some dudes going to
get hair plugs. I'm not judging any of you out there by the way, or trying to hold on to your beautiful locks.
If it works, it works. Like, I get it. Um, it used to be a thing in LA, maybe it still is.
If you don't have good hair, it'll never work in LA. And this is like, one of the wonderful gifts of podcasts. And what we do now is we don't have to worry about those
stupid fucking rules anymore. Like shaving your head used to be a death
sentence out there and maybe it still is I don't know I'm not really I'm not an
actor but this is such a liberating experience for me because I just don't
care and maybe that's part of
like having kids or something like that is you just um you don't care oh shit
there yeah this episode of the DTFH has been supported by AG1 I have diabetes. So I'm not exactly somebody who paid attention to their health.
But AG1 has created the possibility for me to stay healthy without having to worry about taking
millions of different vitamins and arranging them and sorting them out. It's just a delicious,
wonderful powder that you put in a nice glass of cold water.
You slurp it down and you feel like you just lapped from a puddle that spilled out of the
fountain of youth.
I know you know that you have a microbiome.
That kind of freaks me out to think that living inside of me are other things in my guts. But I'm telling you,
friends, once you start slurping back AG1, you are going to have unprecedented bowel movements. Now,
this is not in the script that they gave me. I'm speaking from experience. You need it. Your poor microbiome, it doesn't
know what it wants. All day long it'll just scream out for sugar, honey, sweet
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will thank you and it won't thank you though I'm sure it would love to talk and would love to
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if it could talk it would sing you a song of gratitude and love.
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That's www.drinkag my balls out there have been struggling. This thing is
amazing this
Slide it along the greasy top here I had like this and it just fits it right off before I was using this
I was using one of those one of the commands capers that is really advertised not for doing this it's for
your balls not your head and it worked but it was a really slow but look it was
a slow process this just like hits it right off, puff off. It's so nice.
And again for like professional dogs out there I would love your tips.
Like what am I doing wrong here?
Am I supposed to use more shaving cream?
Am I supposed to be using water?
For like a different kind of shaving cream?
Because like I didn't want it but I was at Whole Foods and I got Wope shaving cream which I really don't like.
I like the nice white shit but they don't sell that.
Um, so I ended up getting the Bulldog.
Not by the way, none of this is a commercial, I'm not sponsored by any of these companies.
See the red streaks here and stuff?
That's because I don't know what I'm doing.
But yeah, this is like so nice.
Once you get to this phase of the operation, this is the best.
It's actually quite a satisfying feeling.
Highly recommend it. I mean, why do monks do this? Why? Why would you see like a Buddhist monk
do they have a shaved head? I don't know. I imagine it's not just like the recognition that you
put too much ego into your hair.
It's probably like lice living in a monastery.
Getting rid of your hair maybe keeps the lice issue down.
Probably some more like pragmatic reason, but for sure taking something that you are obsessing over and just eliminating it from the equation
and then going out into the world with a stuck and fall head through the first time is a rush.
Like, people, people would definitely double take and a lot of people won't recognize you anymore.
Which was pretty interesting to me.
Like, I mean in my family, like,
I would be walking behind someone,
they wouldn't notice they're there.
Like my wife or my kid, they'd turn around and see me
and be like, Jesus Christ!
That's fun.
I mean, I say, is a spiritual exercise? Do it. If you have any kind of hair
neurosis. Also, my god, think about how much money you save. Haircuts are fucking expensive.
But they can be.
can be. You have to do it yourself. And though I do love my barber, Truby the barber, by the way, not sponsored, but if you live in Austin and you're looking for a good like
beard trim or hair cut, he's the best. He works out of this cool little house. He's the best. He works out of this cool little house. He's awesome. We have the best conversations.
It's kind of sad when I got him to shave my head because I knew that I'd be spending less time with him.
And I was having such a blast getting to know him and his kid, Kirby Jr. and Kirby Sr.
They both tire and they're both cool as fuck.
But there is something so empowering about not having to go to some fucking
place whenever your protein strands get too long. And just the joy of not having to comb your hair.
Not having to worry about, does my hair look okay?
Oh, I hope my hair looks good.
You know?
Ugh.
It's like the last little part of us
that's like truly monkey.
That last little part, we want to like tame it.
You can't have messy fucking hair.
You can, but people judge you.
Your protein strands aren't arranged properly.
Are you sick?
you. Your protein strands aren't arranged properly. Are you sick? Now, you'll notice
the gray aliens, they don't have hair. It would be hilarious if they did. But if you
buy the idea, which is a really funny one, that they are us from the future, that the gray aliens are time travelers coming back to study the past, well, at some point
they realize we've got to stop with this fucking hair bullshit.
It's a waste of time.
We need to be working on our time crystal processing units, not rubbing
conditioner into our hair. You know, look, I'm gonna tell you, for all you guys out
there with like beautiful heads of hair, I'm jealous. I would love it. I'd love to
have like really long hair. I'd love to do that embarrassing top bun thing. I'm cheesy.
Like I would do that. Braid my hair. I would, it would be so fun. So I like, I'm truly, I'm jealous.
When I'm, so I'm not talking shit about you guys at all. You're lucky. But one thing that I have that you don't have now is uh, I don't have to like deal with that shit.
Like while you guys are like putting gel in your hair, trying to form it in some nice way,
trying to like do some weird shit with your fucking protein strands.
This is it.
I just have to do this every couple of weeks.
Pure liberation.
But what you act that I don't act is here.
And that's pretty great.
You don't experience what it's like when you're sitting at a coffee shop writing and
people per side eyeing you and looking at your shoes to try to figure out if you're
a skinhead.
I want to thank BetterHelp for supporting this episode of the DTFH.
Let me tell you friends, for a long time I thought that the best way to deal with awful things
was to shove them deep down into the dank root cellar of my subconscious mind.
Just forget about it. What's really creepy is that sometimes you actually do.
You forget about some crazy thing that happened to you and you don't understand why every time you see an owl
you puke or anytime you see a guy wearing suspenders you have an anxiety attack. This
is why therapy is incredible. Inside of so many people are these little hidden packets of forgotten memories that maybe when
you're a kid you stuff them away but because one of the wonderful things that
we do is pair experience with the external world what happens is your poor
traumatized brain begins to connect things that have nothing to do with
whatever happened to you with danger.
That means that if you see somebody wearing Birkenstocks, if you see someone's
armpit hair, I'm listing mine, I don't know what your things are, you sort of
freak out because the forgotten hidden memory, kind of like the opposite of a
pirate's treasure, like this is an X marks
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Um, supposedly there's some women who like balds. I think that's a miss. I don't know if that's true.
That seems like a dream that a bald whipped up but maybe it's true. I don't know.
My wife says she likes it but she loves me. So would like I even have kids now if this had been
what my hair looked like when I met her I don't know
but do this if you are a balding person who has been kicking the can down the road.
And you know it's becoming undeniable and you're starting to wake up feeling rotten
and you're wearing hats all the time.
And you're thinking about it more than you're telling anybody and you're using it as another
thing to feel bad about yourself.
I know that you feel like doing this is the apocalypse.
At least that's what it felt like for me.
Like a long time ago I did this sketch where I had to put on a ball cap like a makeup person did it for me.
And I remember looking at myself, knowing one day that would be my head because my dad has male pattern baldness.
My brother, most people in my family.
And I felt so sad.
But like Rogan would always say, just shave it, dude.
Just get rid of it, trust me.
And I would always joke with him.
Like, I guess that's like the,
what every cult leader says, shave your head. And I need to listen to him because I just I
don't know you have these this crazy dream that just maybe one
day you're going to wake up and it's growing back. You're going
to wake up and it's there or some new medicine will come out
and you can use it to grow your hair back.
And so you just kick that can down the road.
I mean, I even thought about it.
Some people were saying, why don't you go to like Turkey?
I think they were saying Turkey is where you can get these hair plugs.
I thought about it.
But that's how crazy it makes you.
Like I thought about getting on a plane flying to Turkey to have the ample amount of hair on my back
Transplanted into the top of my fucking head like this is how
deep
Hair is like rooted in
identity
Kick the idea around
And then I realized like, I'm a fucking comedian.
Like I'm not a model.
I'm not an actor.
Why do I, why do I need long flowing locks?
So I did it. It's like
Ram Dass.
When he gave me spiritual advice, it was get therapy.
And I ignored that too. And I wish I didn't. Because when I finally got therapy, it made me feel so much better.
It changed my life.
Rogan, over and over, shave your head. You'll feel better. Didn't listen. Should've.
Wait, if you shave your head and you lose someone over that, then you have rescued yourself from a vapid, shallow, demon person.
Because fuck them.
Fuck them forever.
If having a shaved head repulses
girlfriends, boyfriends from your life, good.
Fuck them.
That's not anyone anyway.
Because if someone is like deciding to fuck
you or spend time with you or marry you or have kids with you, because you have great
hair, you're doomed. You are doomed. You might as well tie a giant tube of conditioner to
you might as well tie a giant tube of conditioner to your body and jump into the ocean.
Because anybody who's into you for your hair,
your symmetry,
like,
that's dangerous.
No judgment though. I get it, symmetry is powerful.
You know by symmetry I mean like beauty.
Which by the way you should look this up it's really interesting.
You know everyone talks about privilege, white privilege, but there's a new conversation
which I think is bright and more to the point which is beauty privilege. You should look
that up. Like if you happen to be a beautiful, physically beautiful person, you experience
a completely different reality than most people. You're used to it, it seems normal. But for us asymmetrical people, holy shit, you have no idea.
We would get sentenced to, uh, we would tend to get sentenced to like longer jail terms.
We get 60% fewer blowjobs in an hour's lifetime.
We get like stranded bar syndrome, SBS, which is where you're at the bar with your like handsome friends and they go and talk to beautiful ladies while you
sit there drinking your beer. I see them.
But there's a really cool meme that I saw.
It's like this beautiful drawing of a beautiful woman.
It's representing an AI girlfriend, beautiful woman talking to you.
And then it's connected to this weird fucking
demonically looking body.
Because when you're talking to AI,
like who are you talking to?
It's imitating humanity,
but you don't know what's going on down there.
And that's true with everybody.
But with like asymmetrical people,
we always like sort of project on them something we don't project on beautiful people. We always like sort of project on them something we don't project on beautiful
people we accidentally like project morality on the symmetry and lack of morality on asymmetry
there was a whole thing called phrenology look at that it's not exactly the same thing
but where they said there was a certain look that criminals
had.
I think what's happened since you're a little kid, you watch Disney cartoons and the bad
guys are always asymmetrical and the good guys are always fucking beautiful most of
the time.
Anyway. Anyway, the other reality is that if you're obsessed with finding a mate, though I don't
blame you, because it feels so good.
I don't know who's around the bathroom right now.
Um...
You accidentally become impulsive. That shit is true.
Regardless of your symmetry or lack of it, you're all sweaty and horny. That's like...
That's like a crucifix to vampires just drives people away and
it's so weird and so counterintuitive that
the best way to find somebody is to not want somebody it's like how the fuck do you execute that
when you are so horny that you're like having nocturnal admissions in your 40s
Like 100% of the time, anytime I've met you in my own life, I was never really looking. Like I didn't have, I was always interested, but I never had that.
You know, I wasn't in a Tinder phase where you're just like swiping on Tinder.
Shhh, shhh, shhh, please, God, please, God.
It's like right when that shit sort of burnt out and I stopped caring, almost immediately somebody shows up.
Ouchie. Shave your head, even if you do have beautiful hair.
See what it's like.
I am, I'm gonna eat before I clean this up.
Let me just show you the nightmare of wives, girlfriends.
Look, let me show you this.
Check this.
Do you see that? Let me show you this. Trek. Chase.
Do you see that?
Like.
We we leave that shit everywhere.
And it's worse than like having a cat.
It's worse than a cat shedding.
It looks like it looks to mine like it looks like I shaved an empanier and
the
white we need
the
leading is such a pain in the ass and
For a lot of us guys like what was happening is we're in a super hurry if we're shaving and so we
Legitimately probably think you don't want to get back. I'll clean that after and you just read like it looks like a warlock
Was shaving a baby and and you leave that there you leave your pubes all over the toilet
By you, I mean me. I mean this is what I do. I'm as about civil
I'm sure there's a lot of you guys out there clean up your beard hair and your pubes
I'm sure there's a lot of you guys out there clean up your beard hair and your pubes
I've never been one of them and it's bad. I'll admit it I mean it could be some kind of like primordial ancient like marking my territory thing
I don't know how much of that stuff is happening underneath it all, you know, you're just like I'm just kind of messy
But it's like you're really like leaving your stink about is some form of marking your territory
Leaving your stink about is some form of marking your territory
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I mean, like, you know, when you leave dribbles of piss on the toilet at a restaurant.
Like you, maybe you just think, well, it's already messy or whatever.
There was other dribbles of piss,
but really at some deep,
some deep, weird level,
you're like, must mark this toilet is mine.
How much? It's really scary. Like I don't know how much you guys look into free will,
personal autotity. How much of what we do is like legitimate autonomous choice and how
much of it is steered by our gut biome, by our DNA. Like it gets scary. It gets really scary especially the I never looked this
up I heard this terrible research was done. What they found out that by the time you know you're
making a decision it's some deeper part of the brain you've already made it and that somewhere
in between your brain deciding you know what maybe we shouldn't wear a condom. I know I just met her, but she seems cool.
And you're being like, hey, do you mind if I wear a condom?
Like there's maybe some something in between that gives you a feeling that you came up
with that idea when it was a you.
It was like some just deep deeper part of your brain.
It's like, let's just make babies.
I don't care how it happens.
We have to spread our DNA.
But you saw it, you're like having fun, you're wild.
You're out there having an adventure, bareback, and hotties that you met at the fucking record
store.
But really, you're not doing anything at all.
You're just being driven by something much deeper than you
that wants to spread itself into time space
any way it fucking can.
And so you invent a story about it.
How disgusting this is.
And I'm still cleaning this up.
Like if I stopped now, I would still leave
a nice smattering of tiny little head hairs everywhere.
Oh dear.
I used to not do this. I have really like tormented so many girlfriends with my pubic hair and I'll pay for it if there is karma that's gonna come back and haunt
me for sure. Probably, it's probably being reincarnated as a pubic lice. Crabs.
Did I even tell you guys the time I got crabs?
I should tell you that story, it's really fucked up.
I feel like I've already told it though.
I was tricked.
That's how I got crabs, I was tricked. That's how I get craps. I was tricked.
But not really. You know, they did say, I think
they told me they had scabies under their breath.
And I didn't know what that meant, but I was super horny.
And then what that meant but I was super horny and then we went to a bus this was this
was an if this was not really really really like off the rails like this was
in North Carolina we went to it just a shitty hotel and she said do you have a razor? Now the reason she went about was
because she wanted it she was thinking she could shave her pussy and that that
would get rid of the pubic lice but no it would have probably just made them
more visible to me like you would have seen them because they sort of like he He's spread out and deep their claws and just, uh, and it's, it is like, I mean, I think
alien was based on crab lice would be my guess.
Like that's essentially what the alien is, is it's crabs.
It's like pubic lice in space.
It gets on spaceships.
It reproduces, it spreads,
and it looks like very, started itching.
Now back then, shaving your pubes was not like in fashion like it is today.
It happened, but these days, like everyone's doing it.
Like they're sitting in crap place crap lies are like potentially going extinct.
So like my I can't even imagine what my bush looked like back then. Like I can't even imagine. It just must have been insane. So it was like the Amazon rainforest for these things. Like they
they were like thank you God for delivering us to this promised land.
Thank you God for delivering us to this promised land. Lots of shade, lots of trees, pubic trees to like suckle next to.
And um, yeah, it was crazy.
If you've never had them, you can't imagine.
It's disgusting.
You feel completely disgusting. And for me, like, the reason I got them was like because I was being disgusting.
And...
Because the person that transmitted these things to me was promiscuous.
It's weird to hear my baby like that when I'm telling this story.
It's weird to hear that I'm telling this story. Like everybody, I would like, at this cafe I used to go to, I would look at people who
I knew had like dated her and are like hitching their watches.
It was a real secret epidemic that hit Asheville, North Carolina.
Okay, we're gonna go back to my studio now.
Feel so, just feels, it just feels so good now.
Like I feel clean, purified, ready to do just about anything.
I mean, it's, I don't wanna say it's like necessarily
courageous to shade your head, but something
about it makes you feel like you've done something brave.
Like you've prepared yourself for the world, ready to get out there, ready to make things
happen. All of us probably have some aspects
of our lives that we would like to improve in some way. Some aspect of our lives that
we would like to improve the better. And whatever that might be, it's worth sacrificing something giving something up. It's crazy how the
universe works like that. That quite often if you really want something you have to
give away something. And...
It actually seems to be built into the framework of the universe.
You want to lose weight.
What do you got to give up?
The...
You want to get better at something?
What do you got to give up?
Time.
And so we have to do all the things to give up.
Hair.
Just the easiest it seems like.
I mean, outside of the social stigma attached to it.
So maybe it's time for you to find something this summer that you can give up. Do it as an offering to God, to the universe, to source, or just
to your own life. You never know. Good things can come from it. I hope you guys had a wonderful week.
I'll see you next week.
Till then,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Thanks for listening pals. A huge thank you to our wonderful sponsors. I hope you will support them. And if you want to see video of this episode, you can find it on YouTube. Come see me live. You can get commercial free episodes of this if you subscribe to the Patreon. I love you guys and I'll see you next week. Until then, Hare Krishna!