Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 632: Matt McCusker

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Matt McCusker, comedian and one of the most modern men Duncan has ever met, joins the DTFH! You can listen to Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast wherever you get your podcasts! And you can learn more about Matt, including his upcoming tour dates, on his site: MattMcCusker.com. And check out Matt's first special, The Speed of Light, available in full on YouTube! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg and Duncan Trussell. This episode is brought to you by: Factor - Visit FactorMeals.com/Duncan50 for 50% Off your first order! AG1 - Visit DrinkAG1.com/Duncan for a FREE 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase!

Hi there. Welcome to the DTFH broadcasting live from Comedy Frequency. Comedy Frequency exists deep beneath Austin in a hardcore military bunker. It is the most high tech place I've ever been. Retina scans, security clearances must be passed. Wild dogs, they seem wild if you don't have the correct pheromone that they slather on your body before you come in and they will attack you. But it's worth it. I understand why they're protecting it. There's proprietary technology here. You think that I'm talking into a camera. That's hilarious. It's not a camera, friends. It's a vaporous warping mist, some kind of quantum mirror device. They tried to explain it to me.

I'm not really sure how it works, but all I do know is I'm happy to be here. And this is where we are going to be broadcasting from for as long as I possibly can. As you know, the times of darkness are upon us and soon none of us will be above ground, which is why I made the choice to make my new home for the DTFH seven miles under Austin in a limestone cave

filled with mysterious bones, which is really weird, because these bones, they don't look like anything I've ever seen before. Not only that, there's strange statues, idols, and tablets that have something in it that I think could be ancient Sumerian. There's weird cave paintings on the wall that seem like some kind of warning from whatever lived down here before that we shouldn't be down here because the things that were and

will be again will destroy us if we invade their territory. But to me, that's a bunch of bullshit. I'm not afraid of superstition. And as far as I'm concerned, technology wins 100% of the time. There's a dark area in the cave where I pissed on a Necronomicon because I don't give a shit. Felt good. Leather bound book with some scary face on it. I'm not afraid.

I wasn't afraid when it opened up either. I wasn't afraid when the weird writing seemed to swirl and spin beneath me and the images seemed to come to life and change, showing some shitty depiction of me being scooped up by a thing with thousands of eyeballs and tentacles that seemed vaguely familiar and very ominous. Didn't scare me at all. Took my piss and walked away.

And did it imitate the sounds of every one of my family members saying that they were in hell and that I should do whatever I could to get out of that cave as quickly as possible? Yeah, it did. And you know what I did? Go ahead. I'm old. This still means something to me. I turned around.

I was like, fuck you. Fuck you. I'm not afraid at all. And yeah, did my fucking hands bleed? And ever since that moment of my nipples been secreting some kind of gel that seems alive and moves down my body and scurries off into the darkness So what? It doesn't bother me. I'm a modern man

Speaking of modern men today. We have one of the most modern men I've ever met in my life Matt McCusker is here with us today. You already know who he is. You probably watch his amazing podcast with Shane Gillis, Matt and Shane's secret podcast. You probably go and see his stand-up all the time. If you have never seen him do stand-up, that is a sad sad thing. We've only got a little bit of time left together here and while you're still Earth side, you should go see Matt Perform if you are in Portland, you gotta go see him. He's gonna be at the helium comedy club Where is that? 8 5th the 8 15 to 8 17. It's coming right up some more McCusker dates

905 to 907 helium Philadelphia 912 to 914 Comedy Connection Providence, Rhode Island you can find all the other dates at Matt's Website and I probably shouldn't have done this but I'll hear my dates that are coming up I'm gonna be the side splitters comedy club in Tampa, Florida August 15th through the 17th I'm gonna be at the SideSplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida, August 15th through the 17th. Shows are selling out, so we had an extra show Thursday night.

If you couldn't get tickets, you can now get tickets. I'm gonna be at the Wilbur November 1st. You can also find me at the La Jolla Comedy Store. That's coming right up. All the dates are gonna be at dougatrustle.com or just Google the clubs themselves. Come see me do some stand-up. I would love to see you in person. And now everybody, please welcome the shaman, Matt McCusker, to the DTFH.

Matt, welcome to the DTFH. Thank you for doing it. Thank you, man. Thanks for having me. I was pumped. We were just talking, I was just telling you, you look ripped, you look very good, you look in shape, and you were saying you've been running, and then you said the thing. Whenever you get it going, you rest on your laurels. Turn it off, immediately. What is that?

I don't know. Why do you do that? Dude, I was on like a four month tear at the gym, and then I got like, every time I get a cold or something, I had like allergies, and I stop, I can't start back up. Yeah, same. Every time I think about like struggling underweights, I'm like, eh I get a cold or something, I had like allergies and I stop, I can't start back up. Yeah, same. Every time I think about like struggling underweights, I'm like, eh.

It's the worst. I know. It's kind of like, you know, whenever it happens, whatever the thing, the disruption throws you out of your pattern. And I just get this grim sense of like, well, it was nice exercising because you could just feel the entropy setting in.

Dude, yeah, you just start dying. Like I'm back to dying now I'm done. I'm done kind of trying to strengthen and proliferate life and I'm gonna just die now I know it's like isn't that wild? What is that? Didn't Freud talk about this? Death instinct. The death instinct Just yeah, some part of you is like, okay back on track. All your cells just want to die It's kind of true, especially after you have kids, right? Like they're kind of like, We're done. Yeah, I'm back in death mode right now. Your cells are like people

at an office after like 5pm when a meeting is going on too long. Yeah they're like, it's time to go home now. They want it, exactly. But you gotta stay alive for your kids. I mean. For sure, I'll be back. Yeah, I'll be back to working out. Yeah. I need to just like catch myself

in the mirror and get disgusted. Then I'll go like, all right, it's time. You know, people really underestimate the power of hating the way your body looks. Like it's, in fact, I think it's like considered really bad. To like, you're supposed to look at your body in a dilapidated state and love it. I don't understand that.

I don't either, I mean. I think you're supposed to be sexually attracted to it too. I think you're supposed to see your body and be like, oh, fuck. That's fucking hot. Look at that fuck. Look at that love handle. Look at these pimples on my fat stomach look how bloated fucking I'm gonna suck my pimples

Yeah, just squeeze those fucking pimples right into my mouth God I wish I could I wish I could suck my my own cock and feel my fat And feel my fat plopping onto my fucking face. That's yeah, no That's what we're supposed to be we're supposed to be all completely Autosexual and just just as fat and just fucked up as possible and just being like yeah, that's what I'm talking about you know it to me at all like all of that makes actually like a lot of sense because it's You know like I'm so good at rationalizing things I'm doing that I probably shouldn't be doing.

Yeah, yeah. Anything. Like, you know, I got addicted to Elden Ring, was talking to my friend who's an artist, and he's like, Duncan, that's actually really good art. Like it's valid. It's incredible art. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

I'm, it's like I'm in an art museum. What did you break the Elden Ring spell? This is, it's humiliating how I, oh when recently and I humiliated myself. It's so embarrassing. I don't even know if I talked about this because I'm so embarrassed by how I did it. I asked my wife to hide the PlayStation. Dude, I've done the same thing you have Yeah, I've she bought me one for Father's Day, and I was like no and I've told her when we got together I was like don't allow me to have an Xbox because I won't be able I can't stop playing it by myself

Wow, I did the same exact thing and that couple times I've been like let's get one in here, and she's like you told me not to let you know like fuck You're right, and then she really bought me one for Father's Day and I looked at it and I was like Take it back. That's a funny gift for Father's Day. I know cuz it's like you're not gonna be seeing your kids as much I know she's like we can put it in your office. I was like no now you don't understand be the death I'd be done well because of the what I don't like about it is the pull of it like even when you're not playing it It's like got some kind of gravity field to it. Oh yeah. So you just know it's there waiting for you. Yeah man, that's all I see when I close my

eyes. If I play video games, I lay down and I just see the video game until I fall asleep. That's the weirdest thing, isn't it? Crazy. Your brain's just echoing the fucking video game. Just like do it again, do it again. I can't stop playing them. I'll stay up all night. Same. It's bad. And then you start getting sleep deprivation and then you're like, and it again, do it again. I can't stop playing them. I'll stay up all night. Same. It's bad. And then you start getting sleep deprivation and then you're like, and then somewhere in there, the guilt, the guilt is so extreme

because you're like, I'm prioritizing running around a beautiful fantasy hellscape over my family. And like, what do I do? I'm watching this show called Alone. Have you seen that show? Dude, please watch it. It's so good. What's it on?

Netflix. Okay. And it's like, you know, Naked and Afraid, except Naked and Afraid, it seems like they purposefully pick people who should not be in the woods. I did hear about this actually. So yeah, these are hardcore survivors.

Yeah. Dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and whoever lasts longest gets 500k. And what's fascinating about it is anyone with a family, any parent, the longer they're out there, the harder it gets to be away from their kids. And all they do is talk about how they're doing it for their children, for their kids. I'm watching that and I'm like, uh, like I will play Elden Ring in hearing them. You know what I mean?

And just be like, I'll come out there in a second. Yeah. You know, so they really make, there's a lot of guilt I have. So you're kind of like playing Elden Ring like, yeah, I hear you brother. I got to crack this spell. Yeah. Just one more run. Just one more fucking run.

I can beat this boss. It's just, at least that dude is like kid I was out there eating rats just so I could get money for your autism therapy like Terrible so it's so it's hard dude when I I always tell my kids when I have to work I'm like as they get bumped. Do I have to leave for work? They're always like don't go and I'm like look I'm like you need I need to get money for you guys You guys need stuff blah blah blah And then when we moved they took all the stuff out of our house a week before my kids were like yeah

And I was like fuck. Oh, I got right. This is just for me, but guys you'll be alright It was so funny. They're like we don't have stuff. This is awesome Fuck they don't need stuff although Disney Plus I hold that over their heads of my dude Disney Plus is gonna turn off like we don't have stuff. This is awesome. Oh fuck fuck They don't need stuff although Disney Plus. I hold that over their heads I'm like dude Disney Plus is gonna turn off if I don't go to work, and they're like just get out there man Go They tell my pay for the whole year I'm like guys if I don't go to work They're gonna turn that off. They're like what? Dad what are you doing here? I know. My kid, they're pretty young and explaining my job to them

is really weird. It's hard to even explain it. But the middle kid said, dad, so if you don't make people laugh, we can't live in this house? I was thinking like, whoa, that is so fucking weird, man. Yeah. That is a strange, strange situation to find yourself in. Yeah, that's a lot of pressure.

Does it freak you out? Yeah, I think about it all the time. I honestly, I get bugged out all the time where I'm kind of like, damn, I just have to wait till like something just occurs in my brain. It's the weirdest process. It's like, because if I sit down and try to like write out, stand, it never works. I have to literally just wait and just trust like I'm gonna get a cool idea They'll turn into a joke Okay, here's why I do and I just pray I go, please give me a cool joke, dude

Please God, please got cool joke. I pray for jokes. I think is it and I think any any like It doesn't matter what it is. Like I think the writing itself, as lauded as it is by many comics, is that the right word, lauded? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have the same experience, which is when I write, it's the opposite of funny.

It will become like existential and cynical and like, or just like gibberish. But what I realized is, oh, you are creating momentum when you're writing, right? Like, yeah, are you gonna get a joke when you're just scrawling shit into your notebook? Probably not. It's like catching fish.

And to quote, I can't remember his name, in a loan, you don't catch any fish if you don't go out in the water. That's true. Right, and I think it sets some momentum in your brain that increases the probability that the joke idea will appear. No, you're absolutely right,

because I have, there's been a couple times where I've sat down and same thing, it's not like a funny joke, but it'll lead to an idea where I'll think about it later, I'm like, oh yeah yeah I could probably do this right what I do is I wait until before shows and I panic mode and I go fuck fuck fuck fuck and I gotta come up with something that's the best time yeah but I gotta start my problem is when I sit down to write and I start just writing stand-up

it's like I could write something else I could like you know I'd rather write like a story right yeah right yeah much more rewarding but you know I have to be disciplined and start trying to write jokes I don't know you know I realized that We carry that guilt or a comedians like we're so fucking hard on ourselves that we can and you should be to some degree Obviously, I'm not saying you shouldn't be but you know what I mean like Number one the idea that there's some uniform Process that works for everybody. It's so easy to do that because you hear some like comic you respect talking about whatever the fuck it is they do.

And you start thinking I should do that exact thing. And it's like that's not you. It probably won't work for you. It works for them. Dude, I don't, I, it's so bad. I don't prioritize stand up at all. Like I do it a lot. I just like, I just wait till I have shows. I like doing, I do the new material shows a lot. I like that, that's the way, that's like my best way to write is just wait,

force myself to do 10 brand new minutes. Yeah. And then just bomb if it sucks. And then it's like after I'll get a hard bomb, I'm like, all right, then I'll get motivated. Right. I'm just like sitting around enjoying myself. I'm not gonna write stand-up.

Man, I know it's, well, this is exactly like running, going to the gym, whatever the thing is. Exactly, yeah, exactly. I have to be disgusted with myself and I go, it's time. Right, it's, you are, you need the cattle prod. Yes, I do, unfortunately. To get going.

I need the cattle prod, too, to get going. Like, I didn't quit eating sugar until I found out I had diabetes Yeah, I had to know for sure like oh you will go into a coma and that made me stop eating sugar But you know, but it's like everyone says don't eat sugar. It's poison You're like shut the fuck up. Have you tried skittles? Oh my god, try the freeze-dried skittles No, I never had one soda was eating them when I did bird store and like dude those things are ridiculous There's just sugar cubes. I just crunches. I don't like sugar like that

My problem is if I if I have it in my house I'll just I won't stop eating until it's gone And then as soon as I stop eating it, I don't think about it ever again And as soon as someone shows me something sweet, I'll think about sugar for like three days straight. Oh, it's a drug! It's crazy. It's in... Oh, dude. There's a great book. You'll love it. Psychonauts, have you heard of this book?

Is that the, like, the history of... Yeah, my brother just showed me this, yeah. You'll love it. It's William James on the cover. Yes. Yeah, he literally just showed me this. William James, Freud, countless other luminaries, scientists, were high as a fucking kite. Yeah, that's crazy. Blasted. It's crazy for a lot of reasons, but one, just that there's a precedent for, in our country,

a drug not being recognized as destructive, but more as something incredible, then the drug ends up in everything like cocaine. Suddenly cocaine's in Coca-Cola. When they're putting in Coca-Cola, they're not doing that because they're like, this is going to get you fucked up. They're doing it because they think it's going to improve your mood. It's good for society. And so it's normal. It's a normal thing that deadly drugs wind up in the food and Because they're drugs people don't want to admit that It's hurting people and there's a big struggle before it goes out of the food and sugar. Holy shit I know you sure sure goes so fucking bad, dude. It's in literally everything everything. Yeah. Yeah, it's literally bad

It's like there's no like well. It's like no. It's actually bad. Yeah, it's bad Terrible yeah, it's in fucking everything that's the cocaine thing in coca-cola is crazy because that really was they're like dude This stuff's awesome for you. Oh wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be incredible to be able to go to 7-eleven? I mean you basically slam c4s all that other whatever those things are and Honestly, you could probably just buy a Coca-Cola and pour cocaine in it and mix it up and get the experience.

Now they think of it. Yeah, you actually could, because there was that and there was, what was the other one, like Coke, what was, there was the other thing that gave it the Coca. It's like a coconut or beetle, some weird thing. The original thing was like this, it was a coconut or something.

Coca leaf. It was something like that. It was some other, it was like a weird health elixir The guy was the guy who invented it was a weirdo He was like a doctor and he had done a bunch of other stuff and then he finally put that elixir together never Was like yeah, this is some fucking rules I want to thank Factor for supporting this episode of the DTFH. Friends, summer is here. We're all broiling out here.

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Full disclosure, when they said they wanted to support my podcast, I was suspicious. My thinking being microwaved food cannot be good. That was my hypothesis. When my factor meals came, I put them in the microwave and I was shocked. They're so delicious, Freds. They're so good. They're not. They're so good that I only got to eat a couple of them. And my wife was pregnant at the time, ate the rest.

They were gone. She ate all my factor meals. I don't mind. It's part of being married. You share. I'm happy to share factor with my pregnant wife. If I wasn't, I'd be a monster. I'd be a fucking monster. I mean, did I feel like a tinge of like, man, I would have liked to have eaten that. And then I realized, like, you know, I got her pregnant. Like, I just had to have an orgasm. She has a baby inside. What's wrong with me? Why are those thoughts in our heads, man? Why are these meals so good? Well, they're not frozen. That's the main thing.

These are fresh, dietician approved meals. As a 50 year old man who's got diabetes, it is so awesome to be able to order a keto factor and just know that I don't have to worry. I don't have to worry about whatever's in there. It's delicious. I surrender to them. I trust them. They're fucking good.

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off your next month with while your subscription is active and I'm telling you they don't want me to say this but you will have a Pavlovian response when your factor meals show up your mouth will start watering like some slavering famished wolf some dark plateau alone, the moon rising above it. Can't even howl. It's so hungry. Its mouth is so dry. That'll be you, but your mouth will water and pretty soon you'll be scooping delicious,

healthy factor food into that snarling mouth, which won't snarl much longer because your belly will be full. You'll be happy. Thank you, Factor. ["The Last Supper"] Dude, it was like whatever the world was like back then, it must have been incredible because you know now we're post prohibition and like I don't know about you but if I do drugs, I feel guilty as fuck. Well, I never got that out of my head that it destroys your brain because like you I was getting like

Indoctrinated from like a third grade. Did you get that? Did you get the dare program? Yeah, we had officer friendly came and like show us crack pipes and all this stuff Oh my god, you had it you had that happen Yeah My brother my brother claims that he they explained weed when he was in school and he was like I'm definitely gonna smoke that They were like this will mess you up and they Explain the effects he goes that sounds fucking nice. I'm definitely gonna do that That's what LSD for me you heard about in school. You're like, that's actually kind of chill film strip They said that's how old I am we had film strips and they said, you know LSD

I think the cop said like this we took somebody in and he could see dragons and that was it for me. I'm like, oh soul They should have switched that up they should have been like dragons you're like Yeah, yeah, or you're like home. You see math acid makes you see like Addition or you know acid makes you want to like clean the house or something anything other than like how do you tell a bunch? Of elementary school kids. There's a drug where you can finally fucking see a dragon You know acid makes you want to like clean the house or something anything other than like how do you tell a bunch? Of elementary school kids there's a drug where you can finally fucking see a dragon Yeah, and expect them not to want to do that. Yeah, you've been jerking off the dinosaurs for like five years

Yeah, the It was so was your officer friendly an asshole was did it was he gruff with the kids when he talked about I was so, was your officer friendly an asshole? Was he gruff with the kids when he talked about it? I was so little, I'm trying to remember, I remember him just taking this real matter of fact tone and just watching from the back, just kind of like, whatever. So we had him, he would come, then we had this guy from Pico,

which was like the electrical company, and he would just hook like toys and various things up to high voltage and blow them across the room. Like this is, electricity's dangerous. We'd send a he-man flying across our auditorium, we'd be like, ah! So the officer friendly would be there, and like, dude, I want the Pico man to be here so bad,

I want him to blow shit up. Dude, that's- He would just shock stuff, it was awesome. He's showing you one of the most incredible things you could do that you had no idea. How many kids got electrocuted because of that guy? Dude, I don't know. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. He made it look cool. Like what? Almost dying. I don't know. I mean I'm trying to think of like a specific near-death instance I mean we were just like black out and drive drunk when I was like we were little we were like we didn't have our

License and yet we were just like take my uncle's van. He had like a 50 or 12 seater van Would he let you take it? Did you know? No, no, no. They would be asleep and me and my cousin would sneak out and drink like 15 beers and just gun that van up and down the road like as fast as we could. How old were you? Like 15. It was like right before driver's license. Oh my god. Like my uncle would like, my uncle stayed over and left his car the one time and like he went somewhere and I was like, yo let's go. We were like kids. We just drove around in his car, pulled up and like got a drink at Wawa and we're like, oh my god.

The best. This is crazy. We're like 14. This is crazy. Best. It was the best. Yeah, that there's no, I don't think there's a, I mean, oh my god, don't do this. Yeah. But probably there is no better time to do drugs than like when like, I shouldn't say this. It's true. When you have no idea of the consequence, that is the best time. Well, no, you don't have a mortgage, you don't have bills, you don't have diabetes, what do you have to fucking worry about?

The only thing you have to worry about is getting caught by your parents. That's it. That's your primary worry, and that's not much of a fucking worry. Looking back on it, it really was nothing. I really sweated it way too much. Oh my god. Dude, I wish someone would send me to my room now for just like Two weeks. I beg all right I'll see you in two weeks Sleep for two weeks straight. Oh, dude, it'd be awesome. Yeah that those like when I look back at what a miscreant I was and I think about the law of karma and having two boys

I'm already like preparing myself for the payback man because I know it's coming you feel like that yeah I was very bad I was a very bad kid I wasn't like I wouldn't like there was a level of bad where like guys would say fuck you to teachers I was always below I would never do that that was like crazy but everything else was like we would take teachers manuals and throw them in the trash. Oh, yeah. Such a sweet move. They were looking for my science. Well, that's hilarious.

The acts of rebellion that you can do in high school are incredible. This is grade school. Grade school. Yeah. The self-seriousness of grade school teachers. Yeah. I mean, they take their job real. And you also depending on how old they are like if you got a young fresh teacher They haven't gotten cynical yet. They haven't like looked at the like larval phase of Society and realize like oh, we're growing demons, and there's no way to stop it

I'm gonna change the world yeah, but how many of those kids a day are just like fuck you bitch I'll cut your throat one day. I know Yeah, yeah, I was like a little Catholic school of like 23 kids in my class It was pretty it was pretty chill, but it was just it was fun It was people were very bad I had older brothers so like the teachers would just single me out the first day and be like I'm gonna keep my eye on you so I think all right. We're fucking enemies single me out the first day and be like I'm gonna keep my eye on you so I think alright we're fucking enemies and then it was just me and my cousin and my

my one friend I grew up with since like first grade and it would just they would separate us it like the very beginning we'd be sitting together and they're just separate us and then it was just like I threw stuff the whole time I was in school spitballs are like it balls erasers crank like breaking up crowns and throwing them and just anything. Taking like the technology advance and you can put like the rubber band between the pen and start like shooting arrows.

Technology. It was crazy. Paper wasps, everything. What's a paper wasp? Paper wasp when you fold a piece of paper up so that it's really hard and then you take a rubber band, you just fling it. Dude, it hurts.

It's like a real weapon, it hurts. We see, this is the, like, if I'd met you at that age, like, people like us, like, amplify. Like, you know, like, it would have been, like, you learn. So the way the paper wasp technology, it's transferred. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That was a powerful weapon. A paper wasp was, like, feared. It was like, dude, chill, chill. Don't hit me with the wasp. A paper wasp. You could take a pen apart and then take a rubber band and feared. It was like, dude, chill chill. Don't hit me with a wasp. A paper wasp! You could take a pen apart and then take a rubber band and put it through like the hole of the tube. Yeah.

I think you would either put another hole in it and then you would take the ink with like the pointy point and then pull it through and then fire it like an arrow. That was also a feared weapon. Oh, yeah, I remember that. No, see, okay, so we, I know, so I think you were like a little, you were a higher tier of mischievous than I was, but you had us, like, you know, so I think you are like a little, you are a higher tier of mischievous than I was, but you had us, like, you know, mild miscreants, like harassing teachers and generally suspects, like if something happens, they suspect it's us.

But then you had the next tier up, which was the kids who are going to jail. And then you had the next tier up. These were rare. Back then, we didn't have school shootings, but they would be the kids who were blowing up animals and shit, and you just hear about that. And that's wild about public school is that it's just this. They're all together, yeah.

They're all together and like, it's terrifying. My kids are, the youngest is about to go to kindergarten. And it's scary to think like, oh my God. There's gonna be a couple of fucked up kids. Yeah, we used to actually, unfortunately we did used to catch catfish and load them up with fireworks and blow their head. Well catfish were evil Sure, they stung so they got Kids it was different with they deserved it true. They are evil water demons like these motherfuckers How dare they they sting there like yeah, so I was just I don't know anyone who's got a stung by a catfish

So everyone asked me ever get stung they're like no I know they do sting but like I was like I lived in like utter fear of getting stung by a catfish absolutely It was terrifying Catfish are enemies fire ants yes open game on fire There's a war and with my kids it seems like they're at war with vegetation in general like if they pass anything with leaves My kids are the same thing and my dad spazzes he like loves tree He has all these trees he plant if you walk by his tree and pop a leaf off He's like what are you doing get off my trees so my kids do it. I'm like no no no no even if we're like out here

I'm like whoa take it easy on that thing. I think it's DNA man I think it's some kind of monkey DNA that's still in us Yeah, they don't it's not like they're thinking about doing it It's like they're there we actually we ended up removing them But like on the way into the house there were I don't know what kind of fucking planet was But it was before they could just it was compulsive. They just walked by Grab a bunch of leaves throw it on the ground. Yeah, and I would say what are you doing? Dude? I

Give it to my kids to help me weed and they love it. I go out front and I weed my garden They're like pop them up and they're like, oh they they could do it for hours. They love it so much Yeah, that you know that is a thing That is incredible when you start realizing how much they like to do stuff like that. Like, and that will go away, but it's still novel to them to like clean up dog shit. Oh yeah, they love it too. They want at it so bad, like, let me pick it up. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah. Come on. That's how I mowed the lawn. I was like, dude, let me mow the lawn, please. My dad was like, all right, man. I was like, yes. Oh. Then I did it for like a month and I was like, this let me mow the lawn, please. My dad was like, all right, man Yes, oh, then I did it for like a month and I was like this fucking sucks So bad once the reality sets in that actually happened to me like I

Remember like I'm like I'm gonna fucking mow the lawn. We aren't hiring someone to mow the lawn anymore. This is ridiculous I'm gonna do it went to Home Depot This is ridiculous. I'm gonna do it. Went to Home Depot, bought a nice fucking lawn mower I don't know anything about lawn mowers, but it seemed real nice. Yeah mowed the lawn Like for an hour. It was awesome. Yeah smell of the grass Took my shirt off like yeah now. I'm a fucking man I'm out here mowing mowing the lawn like a fucking man and then like yeah right around hour two, but this is Awful it sucks. Why am I doing this? Especially when there's a ball in the way and you gotta stop pick it up throw it you're like it breaks the spell

It sucks. You're like lulled into some kind of primordial state by the engine the stink of that You're probably the gas is frying your brain a little bit, and then you gotta stop to move the ball. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, so are you at all freaked out by this week? Do you watch the news much? Nah, I pick it up. What's going on right now? I like pick up pieces of it.

Well, you know my- Bring me up to speed. What's going on right now? Okay, so here's what we have a terrible convergence of a like we got a jobs report. The jobs report was not good. The more unemployment than expected. Intel just laid off thousands of fucking people. And so the Japanese stock market had like it dropped more than it's dropped in its entire history and all these tech stocks right now are eating shit. Trillions of dollars wiped off the fucking market and in the

Middle East. You know about the thing Israel like blew up the head of Hezbollah in some way I don't even think they know how. They still are speculating, is it a guided missile? Was it planted? Yes, I did hear about this. And so Israel's just been picking off leadership around Hamas in Iran. And Iran Has to do something because and then Israel wants them to do something like it, but I think the idea is like if Israel knows that if it can sort of bare bait Iran and they're like attacking in some egregious Quote egregious way. I mean, I don't know what are you supposed to fucking do if someone's like blowing up people in your own country?

If they can get them to attack and then they can stay in advance if you attack us, it's gonna be all-out war Yeah, it pulls the United States and then we have like World War three. So these two things are like colliding Simultaneously and I generally am not Freaked out by the news. I'm pretty good at being like, whatever. But these two things, I don't have any money in stocks or anything like that, but these two things, boy, they give me the chills. Yeah, I mean when there's trillions of dollars lost, that's I think when billionaires are like, time for war. You can make so much more money back. Yeah, we'll just take the middle east. Fine, fuck it. Dude, do you know what stock is going up?

Raytheon? Lockheed Martin. Lockheed Martin. To the moon, baby! I saw that moon, I saw that stock flying up the other day. stock is going up. Raytheon? Lockheed Martin. Lockheed Martin. To the moon baby! I saw that moon, I saw that stock flying up the other day. Like you look at the tech stocks and then Lockheed Martin is way in the green! That's crazy.

You know the other metric that they use too, which is really interesting, it's so funny. They have a way of telling how many people are calling this pizza place near the White House. There's like two metrics near the White House where like if this pizza place gets really busy, it's always some horrible shits about to happen because their people are staying late ordering pizzas. And so the more pizzas coming in, the more it means something fucked up is happening. So that's happening too. And then the creepier part of it all is. Biden, like where, where is he?

Dude. So you, so we, it's like, no one even is quite sure who's running the country. Yeah, that's kind of weird country while all this shit's happening. I forgot he was still the president. I thought it was just Kamala was the president now. Well, I mean that is that. I don't think it's her obviously. It's so... fuck it's probably like a cube. I picture a cube. Some cube that emanates thoughts. Really, who is it? It can't be... be it's not him that was the weirdest part that was really like I

Feel like they pigged out in terms of like, you know, you can put people in they can be kind of a puppet figure for billionaires Whatever but with Biden they really picked out just like dude. We're not even pretending this guy's right doing this job. Yeah, it's like the Yeah, they they You know, I guess it's like the Yeah, they They you know I guess it's like whenever you when you get like a president like that You're doing a kind of test To see okay what like how how are people gonna react to a president? I can't Talk yeah, and if people are just kind of go along with it. You're like oh great So now they definitely don't give a fuck

They know it's a mascot. They know it has nothing to do with anything and Shit, that's where I feel like the people making those decisions don't feel regular human emotions Because you would think if you could like read people you'd be like, yeah, that guy looks crazy Let's get someone who actually looks like believable or like vaguely inspiring Right. It's just like here's this guy. You know who the fuck is coming up with this well Yeah, I mean, that's the it's the big question mark that is driving people nuts because then on top of it all Because they like have so much. Oh my god, dude to have that much money

You know much fun. We could have if we had the war chests for propaganda? Do you know the things we could make people believe? Oh yeah. What would, like, I could def- That'd be so fun, dude. To have the meeting alone, just get a lot of comics together. It's like, guys, we have 500 million dollars for propaganda

So who what propaganda campaigns are you guys interested in running? Because for me it's gonna be like dinosaurs are actually still alive You're gonna call that back. No nobody step on this. I'm doing I'm bringing dinosaurs back Dude you could take one story. What would you do? Like if you could if you had control of the propaganda machine, what would you start trying to trick people into believing? That's a great question. I uh I would do some sort of like weird celebrity behavior I'd pay celebrities to like say weird shit like the Will Smith slap. I would have to have like ten of those

Go off. That'd be kind of nice. Oh, nice. I would make like Jamie Foxx trans. I would be like, you gotta trans Jamie Foxx. We're gonna send you to jail. Yeah, oh, cause that's the other side of it too. I would completely, I would just re-cav-ic through Hollywood. Oh my God, I mean that's the, yeah, right, okay, right. Because here's the thing, they got the Epstein tapes. Like Jeffrey Epstein had all these fucking tapes.

They disappeared, nobody knows what's on them. Can you imagine the joy going through those fucking tapes and just writing down who you now completely control forever? The joy of being like, oh my fucking God, this is gonna be awesome. Yeah, you have like 10 senators. You're like, oh, this is good. This is incredible.

Like so many like actors, so many people you could just call up and be like, oh, this is good. This is incredible like so many like actors so many people You could just call up be like hey, what's going on? So we're running a new thing. Guess what? dinosaurs have been discovered in Antarctica and I just want you to go online and talk about how you believe there's dinosaurs and this is like fall the fucking science The call would be so sweet of them is hearing someone in the line be like, hello. They would dread your phone call all day every day. Like, yeah, I remember you had sex with a kid.

Yeah, anyway, I think you should do some stuff for me. I'm not transitioning. Okay, listen, it's not that. We just want you to like talk about how like dinosaurs or what, my God, like it's crazy to think about that. We just want you to like talk about how like dinosaurs or what, my God, like it's crazy to think about that. Haven't Jamie Foxx transitioned back because of dinosaurs would be funny. I think that we will.

I gotta fight the dinosaurs. I can't be, you know. Right. I need to be a man so I can fight these dinosaurs. Everyone be like, this is actually. Oh, so you like. Be an op-ed, be like, I actually agree with Jamie Foxx. You yo-yo him.

So it's like the first start is you're gonna get on hormones. You're gonna become a lady and then Once we do the dinosaur phase you're gonna realize like Celebrities United against dinosaurs against dinosaurs. So fun! Shots of Jurassic Park on the news. You're like, yeah, it's fucking real. Oh, God, so fun. It makes me laugh so hard. I mean, the scary thing, like, you know, my fantasy about people, politicians, people running the show,

is either, well, they're insidious and evil and they have some dark agenda based on power, but what if they're just like us? Just fucking around. And Jay's just think it's fu- they just aren't. Just like, you know what I mean, they're just, they're like um, Grand Theft, Grand Theft Auto when you're like, you know, I'm just gonna start running over people on the sidewalk. Just fucking stuff up. Why, why, maybe that is why they seem so alien is because they really don't care. They're just having fun

They got power and now could be Although I think it becomes a never-ending thing though, cuz I know they're still kind of in like bitter You know leagues with each other when it's like fuck you on six islands, but I'm a loser. I own two Alright, I think it just it never-ending. Oh my god. They get to the top, that guy dies, and their kids fight over it, and they just keep kind of going. It's just a never-ending, horrific, stupid power struggle that you have to get funded by people.

Yeah, I think it's more like monkeys climbing up a tree. It's just totally subconscious, just like gritting their teeth and like, argh. Right. On some level. There's no joy there. There's nothing fun there They just seem as brainwashed as like the people they're brainwashing to like I don't know what they believe. I mean But you know, it would be fun though I think you have one day if we got like

They just dumped like 20 gallons of water or like 20,000 gallons of water on a city. That'd be hilarious to me though like To add to how weird shit is right now, because of the propaganda, because the propagandists are shameless, and because they have seemingly realized that all you have to do is get enough people saying the same sentence over and over, and then people will start believing it.

You have like, you know, the stock market is crashing. You have like people's 401ks out the fucking window. You have people's, like people are just so fucked already. Is this just in Japan, the market's going? No, it's here. It's here too? It's here, trillions of dollars just wiped off the board. Oh, fuck. And I think it's like creeping back a little bit, but the instability is like, just that

alone is enough. But then what you will hear is like, we're doing fine. Everything's fine. Yeah. Bidinomics. Everything's great. Right? So like, so that's the part that to me has got to be like really unnerving for a lot of people because

they're experiencing one reality, but then they go on the news or social media and the the reality that the Establishment is putting out is the polar opposite. Yeah, that must make people feel crazy. Yeah, it's insane I mean, they're also that you know, it's an election year, so they can also now, like the tools they have, like, they've been doing, like, dirty political tricks. I read a book recently by this guy, Charles Coulson. He was, like, Nixon's one of his top political aides. The stuff they would do is, like, there'd be a guy running, you know, against him or whatever,

and they would just make shit up. They'd be like, we're gonna run a story that he's, like, an angry drunk, and it would just go through the news, and they would just do it, it would, like we're gonna run a story that he's like an angry drunk And it would just go through the news and they would just do it would like completely Destabilize the other guy running and they did all kinds of shit now they get easily You have five billionaires that are like behind this one guy you can tank the stock market. You can say like fuck it I know let's tank the stock market for a couple days that way it's like it looks bad on them We can come in and save it right we've had a like apocalypse hanging over our head The whole time it's been the you know Middle East problems. We've had like some terrifying threat the entire time

We've been alive. It's been terrorists from the time I was like 18. There's never really a lull There's sometimes a little a little lull and it was Trump as Hitler for a long time that yeah That's wearing off because he almost got shot I guess and and now they're like, fuck, doesn't work. Yeah. You know, it's gonna be, there'll be a threat looming over our heads forever. Well, okay, so- There could be, I mean there could be, some of it's probably valid, but like, dude, like ISIS just went away?

I'm curious as a dad. Mm-hmm. You know, it's somehow easy to not pay attention to your body, even though it's the thing carrying your consciousness around through the universe. I certainly ignored my body, and I ended up with diabetes! That's what I got for it. It's just easy to not take vitamins, not drink enough water, and vitamins suck. They suck. I feel like a dog swallowing those things.

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That's www.drinkag1.com. Check it out! Do you prep at all? Like, like, do you or do you think that's kind of like overreacting? I do kind of stock water up. That's the one thing I don't want to get caught without water. So I'll get like, I just have like a water service delivered five gallon jugs and I'll do like a couple heavy orders so I have like at least like 40 gallons of water.

And that's the one thing I do prep up. Yeah, like, you know, do you remember like that show Preppers? No, I remember the show, I'd never seen it though. Oh man, you'd love it. It's so cool, it's like, various, they always start off with like, my name's William French,

and I think the sun's gonna supernova. You know what I mean? They all have their own reasons for doing it. And then it's just, it's crazy watching their whole lives have become dedicated to canning food, to doing drills, to building their bunkers up, to listening to shortwave radio, to just preparing. Because the reality they live in is very different

from the reality people like us live in. Like they don't just think it's coming, they think it's happened. Like Terrence McKenna used to say, oh, the apocalypse, it just hasn't gotten to your neighborhood yet. Yeah, true. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. Yeah, it's always there. It's always there. Yeah, so that's like, you know, that's the problem. It's like, if know, that's the problem is like, if I like the algorithm, once it's like, oh, you're interested in the apocalypse. Oh, okay. Yeah, true. And it starts serving you up more and more like, well, why aren't you? Why don't you have chickens? Why don't you have? But sometimes I do scratch my chin and think, man, is it incredibly irresponsible based on what just happened with the pandemic to not be preparing for the collapse, even a temporary collapse of the banking system?

Yeah, it's not a bad idea. I do have actually, I am putting in raised garden beds too in my backyard to grow like potatoes and stuff like that, right? So yeah potatoes and water, you know, you could do it potatoes is fucking Irish. Yeah Yeah, I can eat them every day and I'm like, yes, yeah, I mean don't know. I like wildly pendulum in between, like, holy fuck, I guess this is really the end of the world, to like, I'm not gonna fall again for some more election year bullshit. Yeah, I mean, dude, it is the World War III stuff scary, and honestly too, they're like, World War II was real,

that was a real, like, that was insane how bad that was. So it's like, we might need a bear witness again to like, every 50 years's just like a total calamity Yeah, I'm be like, alright. Alright, let's chill. Let's chill out. Let's go back to church. That's fucking chill Yeah, right. Oh, no, you can't god, you know, I got one of the fun my wife showed me this hilarious fucking comment that I got Cuz like, you know my podcast I talked to What kinds of people Satanists? all my podcasts I talked to all kinds of people, Satanists, Buddhists, every, I just like religion and I like mysticism and stuff. I think I was talking about Jesus. And so the comment

was Duncan's wife has turned him into a fucking Jesus freak. You know, it's intolerable. You can all day long be like, yeah, I went to a satanic black mass Yeah, a few nights ago. It was really cool cathartic liberating. Help me with my spiritual trauma I watched somebody get fucked on an altar, but God forbid you talk about Jesus publicly, whoo! Yeah, that pisses people off, which is wild. It's a taboo. You could, I could do that, you literally talk about like jerking off into your mouth and people are like, huh?

You mentioned Jesus people like yo, dude chill Relax, don't be weird Jesus jerking off into your mouth and people like hell. Yeah It's a taboo it's the taboo of our time, I don't know man. It will threaten people. It's the prevailing worldview. So it's like if you're operating under one thing and people bring up another thing, you're like, Yeah, what the fuck dude? What is the prevailing worldview? Scientific materialism.

Okay, right. It flies in the face of that and you go like, weirdo. But a lot of people with the prevailing worldview don't know that it's scientific materialism. That's just really bizarre about it They just think it's like rational I guess or that's what they do. They go like I'm yeah like I'm rational Like I'm just a rational guy and like no you're not dude. I Mean it's it's a it's really curious to me I don't even like the knee-jerk reaction to it is very strange to me. Maybe they're

it's probably because The examples of it out there Or like dudes with like big teeth flying around in private jets who've hornswoggled their court congregations And they're giving them so much fucking money, and they're like they think that that you've gotten vacuumed up into that thing But yeah, they do but it's also like dude You know that's that's a very kind of simplistic way of thinking to be like that equals that and this is gonna happen now It's just like you're just making something up in your head How would you describe Christianity to people if you had to like people who never heard of it? Like what is it? I?

Think the way I look at it is like so if you're a Buddhist you're trying to you know become enlightened or that's like the Goal if you take it like nirvana enlightenment blah blah Christianity It's like learning how to practice unconditional love so that would be the end goal whereas you try to get enlightened you would try To genuinely practice unconditional love so that I Think that's a great definition, and I don't think people think that's the definition. I think people Think that like how do you think the secularists like if you're a secularist, what is Christianity? It's just like people believing in physically impossible feats that are just diluted and they're like, they're crazy and they're like, the big thing is like you really think Jesus Christ rose again.

You think he died and you think he physically ascended into the heavens. That's the big hang up. Do you float up on a cloud? Exactly. Is that what you think? You float up on a fucking cloud? Yeah, and then they, so they focus on that rather than like, well, no, here's a little guide to how to, you know, enrich your life and find inner peace and blah, blah, blah.

And they're like, no, that's all bullshit. Well, because they have interacted with literalists, I guess. So like they run into like a, they don't even know that like, just like Buddhism, Christianity has many flavors to it, that some of them could seem completely different from the other.

They just think it's this like, you say the words, I accept the Lord Jesus Christ into my life, please God forgive me. And then somehow you have been cleansed of your dark deeds. That's what they think it is. And they and anyone with a rational mind would hear that and be like, what the fuck are you talking about? You just say magic words and then suddenly it doesn't matter that you

incinerated a fucking orphanage. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I mean, dude, well, the thing, too too is with that, with like the hyper rationalism, it's like, it's not rational to like happiness is in a rational response to the, you know, the environment. Like you've take the news, all this stuff. Oh, right. So the whole thing is like, it's like, I can't just, it's like, I understand the hangup,

but it's also like, there has to be an aspect of irrationality that gets sacrificed so that you can kind of access what I would think would be an aspect of irrationality that gets sacrificed so that you can kind of access What I would think and would be deeper levels of reality and like kind of contentment and peace All right You don't have to literally I mean you can it's just being able to suspend that part of that cynical part of your brain to like Kind of read into it over a period of time I think that that's kind of like it like leads to there's like thinking of as like a little pearl inside of an oyster But there's like this weird process that you're gonna have to suspend

your normal workings of your mind. And that fucking, that freaks people out. Because that's like, that's them. And they're like, as far as they are, like this is the way I view things. But if you can like suspend that for a little bit and kind of venture in, maybe you can, you know, reassemble your world.

Yeah, of course you want me to suspend that so you can fucking get me in your fucking cult. That's the first, that's what But that is what that so the invitation in most Theistic traditions is to Suspend that part of your mind have the guts to do it. And yeah, it's also the invitation And yeah, it's also the invitation from all cults, which is like, don't, you know, that's the devil's voice in your head saying, I shouldn't mouth fuck your wife. Of course he doesn't want the prophet to pour his golden seed into your wife's ass. That is the problem though. I get that. That freaks me out.

Right. I mean, it's because that part of your mind is the part of your mind that keeps you from getting conned, scammed, humiliated, embarrassed, ruined, and it's helped you a lot throughout your life. And so, like, the way the Hare Krishnas talk about the situation is, I'm trying to... So God, Krishna, is the supreme controller. And I think the word for that is Ishvara, Ishvara, the supreme controller. God controls everything, everything. Similarity in the bhakti yoga, Vaishnava bhakti yoga tradition in Christianity. In Christianity, you have God made man in his own image. In Shravabhakti Yoga, we are all part of God, simultaneous oneness and difference, meaning

that within human beings are the qualities of God or the desire to control, specifically, to be the supreme controller. So people naturally want to be in control. They feel comfortable. And the comparison is you have the sun, then you have a particle of the sun. The particle of the sun is not the sun, but it kind of feels like it could be the sun, right? So I think this is the secularism doesn't want to cede the sense of being fully in control of nature, reality, society. Which is why the secularists like to reinvent the wheel or attempt to reinvent the wheel

or like try to like, you know, my wife and I talk about this all the fucking time. Like the new thing is like the trad wife. It's something, right? So they hate that shit They are like what the fuck you're gonna stay on with a fucking kids ruin your fucking life With a kid you're gonna fucking with breastfeed. I know get a formula get in the fucking cubicle Yeah, crazy, right? It's such a weird thing to be like being a mother sucks

You should be selling insurance under fluorescent lighting and it's like, okay, man They get mad mad mad mad mad and and and there I think the reason It's offensive To them is because the dream is to fucking reinvent the wheel Right. I mean my god,, there's gotta be a better way to do this shit. It's modern times, dude, are we really gonna go back to the madness of the past when a mom would be with her kids?

Like, you know, but there's more to it than that. I mean, I'm simplifying it, you know, but right? So yeah, like that seems I mean, I'm simplifying it, you know, but yeah, right? So yeah, like that that Seems seems to be I guess the reason where you get no situation where there's an invitation to connect to a Transcendent reality that is outside of like default reality and all of the constructs Pisses people it freaks him out dude that death I was literally reading about the death instinct last night and the guy was talking about how so it's like there's like the inorganic material of the universe, it's just like the stuff in the universe.

It's somehow formed into life and then life is dying to get back to that state of inorganic material. Right. So it's like if that inorganic material has the intelligence to somehow form life and that life is trying to get back to that inorganic material, maybe that being that inorganic material is actually sweet. I mean, yeah, it must be fucking awesome. It's probably fucking sick. A meteor just zooming through space, just enjoying, just infinitely plummeting through the abyss. You don't miss your other meteor friends.

You're not thinking about kind of fucking pay for dinner tomorrow. You're just, you're just like, hope I smash that fucking blue planet. I'm gonna fuck the moon up, yeah. I mean, I don't know. It just, it just gets, that's the religious question. Like is there a larger intelligence in the universe than human intelligence? What do you think? I think so, definitely.

Just in order to make stuff. It's like, so just chance. The idea that just chance made all this stuff I'm like can't buy it and your physical the cells in your body respond to one version over the other You're telling yourself like it's all fake. It's all bullshit meaningless here. Like it hurts your body So you get shriveled up you get shriveled up. It's bad for you. It's literally bad for your health People don't believe this if you if you look into it this there's studies about this if you have a if you have a religious Worldview people on average you can even look this up. They live seven years longer

So it's like that kind of that's a weird thing is if you're pure materialist and you're like like the answers in material reality It's like well for some reason material reality really Well, I guess like the way the argument against that Would be Listen, it's better to be dead That's a good thing to die early. I guess right like you really want to live longer in this fucking chaos prison of

That we've applied our our fucking stupid post monkey fantasy on time. We projected some nonsense, some morality, some ethics over something that is really just a shared hallucination by temporarily sentient blobs of fucking flesh. Fuck life. Yeah, go ahead, live longer in this dark hell world with your fucking wife out there just with the babies. Look at her fucking putting milk in the baby's mouth. I'm dying! Oh yeah, the answer to that is that there's this gigantic,

just infinite mass in the universe that somehow came together to create the experience of life and that we are still at infinite mass and we should realize that and be like, dude, let's enjoy this. This is a wild experience. Well, right. We should enjoy it as much as possible. Yeah, exactly. And that's where it gets really hilarious because the notion of enjoyment and transactional fucking late stage goddamn capitalism seems to be going out to eat a

lot and taking trips to places to go eat. Like a lot of the like, so like, and which is so true, which is very nice. But then, you know, the thing that gets trumpeted a lot, I don't first of all, I don't think there necessarily is like a right way to live. I think that's the problem is like, you know, getting down on somebody because they're like deciding to like live in a traditional way is lame because it's like number one, why is it bothering you? Who gives a fuck for you to keep going to these goddamn restaurants all over the fucking planet unless you think there's really gonna be full automation. You need some people to breed and if you want like those people bringing you your fucking foie gras to not seem completely freaked out, it's probably better that they get to be with their mom for as long as possible than to be

shoved into some kind of fucking like preschool while the mom is gone, we know what working. Right? So like, it seems like the hedonic secularist mentality, when it starts getting anti-breeding is forgetting the fact that it needs humans to cook the nice food that it gets to eat all the time because it decided not to breed.

So why does it why is it upset anyway? Like you need the you need people to marvel at your wealth, to marvel at your like health and glory. Or you're just going to be like you're fucked because the whole dream of the childless person is I get to gratify my senses all the time. And you can't. The parent can't. Right?

So, but they we kind of need each other. You know? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you need to bring your kid to the place and eat and yeah. Yeah, to me, I always get kind I get it like it is cool If you don't have kids like yeah, I've like enjoyed my dad always says like don't have kids dude Just enjoy yourself and I was like, man, it's fucked up. But thanks But you know, he's like kind of fucking around but the

Yeah, man, that's like a weird thing to like just collapse in on yourself Like I'm just gonna fucking go out and eat and watch shit And I think nobody should continue life and I'll just Fucking die. It's like dude. I mean if you want to do that knock yourself out But that's a weird thing to preach to everybody everyone else is kind of like I'm man Yeah, you don't have like dude go out I mean this for the people who don't have kids if you're not out there eat

Fucking yeah, you should be. Getting high. If you're not out there traveling all the fucking time, really going for it, what are you... You just do that as much as you can. Like, I think that... Yeah, it's sweet. It's undeniably sweet. I would never be like, I'm hating it. It's like, yeah, enjoy that.

Dude, the weird thing that happened to me during COVID was like, I didn't realize how in my head I was about other people. Like, I would go out to the grocery store and I Would like see a person who's look at this kind of fucking person I would like just judge him in my head and like fucking motherfucker I see a lady especially when the mask came on it became this very like us first them kind of thing I'm like damn the latest mask on she fucking hates me. Yeah, but I just like I didn't just kind of brought this thing That I did anyway without all that stuff

I'd be like I would just see people and either be like better than that person, fuck that guy kind of rules, then I would try to break them down in my mind like he's probably a fucking loser and I was just I didn't even realize I was doing this and it would just create so much pressure in me and then during COVID at one point I just stopped I was just like I'm done I'm not I'm not out here doing this subconscious battle with people about like how am I perceiving myself among them? What do they represent? What do I blah blah blah? I just gave up doing that dude and it like it relaxes you so much Be like it's unbelievable. I can go through a grocery store and just have general good wishes towards everybody I'm like I feel great it in I didn't realize I was doing how the depths to which I was doing that before I do like look at this fucking guys fucking piece of shit. Yeah, you're now just

Non-stop you have no idea Who's around you you have no idea who they are? What's like we were on the point? We're on a plane with a baby. We got a seat in the very back baby squall and for whatever reason got upset on the plane and like Both of us were like, oh my god worth it We're the thing. Yeah, we're the thing. We're the crying baby thing. And I don't know how many times before I had kids that I would be on a plane, the baby starts crying.

And you're just like, oh, I've got to deal with this now. And then you're on the other side of it. And the whole time, people would look back and like, oh my god, they hate me They just hate us and Plainlands like so many of the people that I thought hated us were like Is she okay? We're parents. We understand. I know it's hard the fantasy that they hated us It was a nightmare fantasy for hours. Not real. Yeah, and yeah, so that's the thing is like Jesus Christ that's what that's what we're all doing to each other is like the secularist people have this fucking fantasy that the trad, the trad wife's

like, they think like when I get home, Aaron's like Cinderella fucking mopping the floor like weeping over like, what her life could have fucking. Singing to birds in their flage. Yeah, right? And then my fantasy of them is that they're all fucking withered up and angry wearing fashion glasses and you know, confused and you know, empty and desperate and sad,

fucking watching Rachel Maddow reruns. His crushing mod pizzas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly! And none of it's true. Everyone's just sitting there like, what the fuck's going on? Yes! That's all that's happening. 99% of people are like, what the fuck?

What is this? I have arms. I have fingers! That's absolutely true. Yeah, that's I think that's and that's why I love the unconditional love thing you're talking about. Because once you see that, just what it really is, it's, it changes the way you feel walking around.

Dude, it's like, for real, you know, I've looked into a lot of different stuff in terms of like practices, meditations, blah, blah, blah. And that's the thing with meditation. A lot of people do it and they're like, I want to learn how to meditate so I can crush business meetings. And it's like, dude, it's there to erase your ego, man. It's not, you know, which again, I'm not saying like, don't do it. If you like I'm gonna learn how to meditate so I can crush business meetings and it's like dude it's there to erase your ego man it's not you know what you get I'm not saying like don't do it if you want to relax relax but it is there it's there to like sever some sort of line that feels deeply

important that if you can let go of it you know you can start to relax yeah it's like it's not there I mean it is there I can aid you I'm not saying there's like like you can use it for whatever you want I'm not saying like you must use it for this but there's a huge part of it where it's like It's there to you know erase in my opinion that you wait if you want to do it in like Really gain some sort of transformation. I think it's really there to like Clean slate not be like yeah, dude. You need to crush this business meeting breathe this way and you're gonna fucking slam it It's hell. Yeah, you're just still freaking yourself. You're still in a nightmare dude. You know as a pickup artist, meditation has been one of the

primary tools I use to get blow jobs. Exactly. Yeah well and that you know that what I think is cool about that is that um oh well this like in the Bhagavad Gita, this gets acknowledged. Like Krishna is talking about, these are the people who will, the people who try to find me and it's naming various types of people. One of them is like those who seek gold. And what's cool about that is it's an acknowledgement of like your intent getting into the situation of trying to find some connection between you and the transcendent can start off because you're a pickup artist and you think

that you'll be able to like what do they call it when you approach the approach? The approach or bouncing is a big thing if you bounce somebody out of the club. That's like if you can get a girl to leave the location that's a bounce. That can't, which sounds kind of dastardly like if you can get her leave that location oh my we're seeing on a VH1 the pick-up artist show like we bounced them so if you can convince you like hey let's go somewhere else that's like a huge step one okay great so you right so you take something like it's like insanely sociopathic and vapid is like a hardcore manipulation system based on neuro-linguistic programming

to fucking hack people's brains. Just to like come on a lady's belly in five minutes, like, oh, I did it. So you take something like that, and yeah, they start meditating. But then, somewhere along the line, that thing that was like making them think this is the road to glory, giving like fake bracelets to ladies at dive bars or whatever the fucking

thing is, that thing starts changing. Meaning it's like, if you have some infection, I'm going to give you penicillin and the penicillin will help your infection. And the story you say about why you're taking the penicillin, it doesn't matter. The infection is going to go away. That's what I love about it is like, get any fixation on the transcendent, even Richard Dawkins style or full rejection of it, is still a fixation on God, even if it's in the reverse. It's true, yeah. There's no bad way in.

I like all the fucking people who hate Christianity. They're the ones who are like right on the precipice of becoming Christians, because all they're doing is studying the fucking Bible more than most Christians do and it's also that same thing if you're gonna be like If a bully is like making fun of gay kids or being gay. He's probably a little gay Same thing if you're like dude, it's all fucking bullshit. It's funny to me how it's like bro. Relax man Right, you're probably a little bit gay Poor Christianity, you're probably just a little bit gay for Christianity gayforchristianity.com!

It'd be a good dating site. Gayforchristianity.com. Christian grinder. My thing is, I have no like, I've been reading about stuff, just in general, just literally with the central mission to like, chill myself out and have just a more peaceful Centered existence. It's like I grew up in Catholic. I hated it, dude I was like this shit fucking sucks when I was a kid. I was like just fucking bullshit. It's all bullshit This is just like the cult of fucking Dionysias redone, you know all that stuff and then you just get older and you're like, you know what it does Nice, it's nice to have a relationship with something beyond yourself. That's all yeah, so you do whatever you want, man

It's just it sucks if you're 75 and you're like I'm a fucking atheist. I'm gonna die. It's like dude. That sucks Do I think I personally I think it sucks obviously you know I'm of Irish descent We're like we're born to just like believe in leprechauns and shit, so like whatever do they're fucking real. I know That's a different podcast very folk I know. That's a different podcast. I know. Very folk. Yeah, look, yeah, that's the thing, man. That's the beauty of getting old. Maybe that's a beauty of just like your brain

gradually shutting down. It's like, the rebellion, the joyful rebellion against the status quo that you get to experience. Like as you approach oblivion, it's like, what am I fighting against here? Yeah. It's just, I don't have the energy, man, like to struggle with some overarching, like, global delusion.

But then if you, when you start realizing, like, that's to me, like the most wonderful thing about any focus on a real spiritual lineage, is if you're cynical like most of us are, you will go into it thinking like, I'm gonna find out this bullshit. And then the more you get into it, it's like, oh shit, I don't think this is quite as much, I think there's more to it than I thought. And then that's when you get

yeah you're fried yeah I researched Hinduism for whatever reason during the pandemic and I was fully a Hindu for like two months after that I was like they fully got me I was like fuck it's so cool it is yeah it's so I mean it's so all of it is just so beautiful. And it's the wild thing is I think a lot of secularists are totally into renfares. Like you're cool going to a renfair and pretending to be a medieval fucking peasant and acting like that. And it makes you happy. You go to the renfairs because it's fun to LARP to live in some weird alternate reality for a weekend. But for some reason, like the idea of just LARPing, like, let's see what happens. What happens if you just pray for like a week straight?

What happens if you chant Hare Krishna for a week straight? Are you afraid to see what would happen? What happens? Maybe nothing. But something changes, and then you're like, oh no God damn it. I thought I figured out yeah that the majority of people on the planet were idiots Yeah, I happen to be the smart one who knows everything Figured out the world delusion I mean dude, I was on the same thing forever and especially once you have like kids and shit, you're like, I don't know, it's just weird man.

It's like, the thing that I was under when I was like, you know, if you read Glenn Leroy, I love him man, he did a notabio-graphy and he talks a lot about like maintaining his position as the master of the universe and how his life would just completely fall apart every single time. But yeah, there's just something nice about being like, all right, like, you know. yeah, they're just something nice about being like I like you know

I can tap into something that like centers me because I was like an anxious fucking like trainwreck Forever like my I don't even like realize it when you're younger and then like once you have kids if I catch myself Slipping back into that state. I'm like dude I can't like you can't I can't raise my kids and be like Decentered all the time and it's just like I have to center myself. Right. So like whatever helps you do that is good. Yeah, yeah. If you want to fight the battle like I'm right. There's a lot of Mr. Right's on the internet.

I'm right. It's like good luck bro. Well it's like you can have that. You can be, yeah like cool. Yeah, try not to spaz in my house dude. I don't need to be right dude, I'll be fine. My goals are lesser than figuring out the workings of the universe. Yeah, Ramdoss used to say it's like you just start prioritizing Being in love over being right. Yeah, it's like let them be if someone needs to be right

Let him be right like if it's scratching the itch for them because you know anytime like You actually are right and you you win the arm wrestling match of righteousness doesn't feel very good no now what yes it's better just being right me like all right you know whatever do your thing and then if he turns out you're right you can just quietly be like mm-hmm yeah yeah Yeah, yeah. Knew that? Yeah, that's it. That's, you know, just like, just practice like not being right for a while.

And it's much nicer. I'm not saying, like, sometimes you need to. No, letting go of the need to be right is, it's, dude, it's helped me so much, especially Jesus Christ and my marriage. Dude, you're so wrong. Yeah. I'm like, what. What did you say? Excuse me? I'm telling you it works. I can just be like, I'm like alright, just wait. Because before I'd be like no you need to think this right now or this is not gonna work. No I never learned that way. I don't know how many people been like I'm telling you

That you don't want to take exezy twice in a night. I'm telling you You're depressed for a month straight after I guess they're right okay myself Are we running out of time here my friend? How are you looking? Dang it dude. Thank you. That was awesome. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you. You got shows coming up Yeah, yeah, please go to Matt McCusker comm slash dates or just Matt McCusker comm I'll be in what does this come out at the end of the week cool I'll be in Phoenix when this comes out and then I have to go to Portland Oregon as well after that where in Portland Helium god, I love that club so much I've never been oh

It's what am I you are gonna have such a great fucking time man, Portland helium is one of my favorite clubs It's so perfect. It's a perfect club. Can't wait. Yeah, I'll be there next week. So cool. Awesome. All right, man Well, thank you go to the show. That was Matt McCusker everybody go see him live. Thank you to all of our sponsors Thank you for watching or listening. I love you so much and I'll see you next week