Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 636: Brian Simpson

Episode Date: September 7, 2024

Brian Simpson, brilliant comedian, philosopher, and gamer, joins the DTFH! Watch Brian's new special, Live from the Mothership, streaming now on Netflix! And you can learn more about Brian, including his upcoming tour dates, on his site: BrianSimpsonComedy.com. Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg and Duncan Trussell. This episode is brought to you by: Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. Reunion - Use code DUNCAN during registration and get $250 off your first retreat! AG1 - Visit DrinkAG1.com/Duncan for a FREE 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase!

Hi friends! Today we have a brilliant comedian and philosopher and also believe it or not, a gamer, which I love, an expert on video games, which means you are going to get an amalgam of everything that makes an awesome podcast. Are we going to talk about AI? Of course. Are we going to talk about consciousness? Yes, but also a lot of video game talk. I hope you immediately didn't leave. But for those of you left, shit, this is a great podcast with Brian Simpson, who by the way, is coming to Madison Comedy on State

September 12th and 14th. That's next weekend if you're watching this right when it came out. Also, check out his Netflix special, Live From the Mothership, because it's really, really good. And now everybody, welcome to the DTFH, Brian Simpson. Can you do it? Do you do throat singing? Are we recording? No. I bet you could. It's not that hard.

You know how I figured out how to do it and I'm not great at it? YouTube, one three minute video. It's actually easy. But what's the, is there some sort of benefit to that? Not annoying people. Massively annoying your kids, like seeming like something's wrong with you.

You have some kind of like, what's that thing where you accidentally yell stuff out? Tourette's. Tourette's. Yeah. No, because I feel like, you know, there was a whole, because that's really a cultural thing, you know? There was a whole period in the 90s

where white dudes got away with throat singing. You know what I mean? They were just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Is that, that's not what you mean? No, that's exactly what I mean. They were just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's not what you mean? No, that's exactly what I mean. That's exact.

It went along with the man bun. Right. You know, and rusted root. Well, I will tell you the benefit though. It was a benefit. It feels good. Yeah, and it's like, and you know, and Zach Wild played the fuck out the guitar,

so we let the throats take a slide. Yes, yes, thank you. I mean, it's annoying. I don't even,, and you know, and Zach Wild played the fuck out the guitar, so we let the throat thing slide. Yes, yes, thank you. I mean, it's annoying. I don't even, I didn't know, I didn't realize that I was repeating a phase, but I just like the way, it makes your whole chest vibrate, and it just feels good, and it's weird.

Like you already have like a deep voice, like my voice is way up high. So for me to suddenly hear my voice deep is weird. Like it just is weird. The way you hear yourself all day long, I have to do vocal exercises to get there. Well you know what's weird? It's like sometimes my voice sounds high pitched to me.

You've got, so you've got like almost- You've got multiple tones? You have multiple, you have this resonant radio, like if you wanted to, you could go full radio resonant voice if you wanted to, you could go full radio, resonant voice if you wanted to. So you have lots of tones. Mine just is like higher register.

Yeah. So I tend to hear the higher pitch tone in myself, which is why a lot of times people, you know, I found out, like you ever find out something about yourself that like, that makes you have to reflect on like thousands of interactions where you're like, oh, wait a minute. So I was doing that, right? And I found out that

like a lot of times I'll speak to someone and they won't hear me even though I feel like I'm saying it loud enough because they're hearing the deep register and they don't hear it. But I'm hearing the high tone, so it feels like they'll be like, hey, good morning, and I'll be like, good morning. And then, but they didn't hear it, so they think I just walked past them. And that made me reflect on so many interactions at jobs and shit where I'm like,

oh, so maybe that lady wasn't just being a cunt to me every day, maybe she thought I was being rude to her every morning. Because if you speak to somebody every morning and they just walk right past you, you know, that's gonna make you feel some kind of way. Yeah, man. I mean, yeah, those moments are great, huh?

Like that's evolutionary moments. Anytime you realize that there is a reason people are treating you a certain way, it's not some just malfunction in the universe and that reason is something you're doing that you thought was completely normal, acceptable. But sometimes I do miss the days when I wasn't capable of self-reflection.

Yeah, sure. I was so much happier. Sure. You know? Yeah. It's like. Yeah, I mean, if you're not capable of self-reflection, are you even, like, are you there even?

You're just sort of sleepwalking. Like, you're just a machine that's just running through the day. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's sort of like, it's sort of like not feeling pain. It's like, you're still getting hurt. You're still bleeding all over the place, but you just, you know but you're just unaware.

Yeah, it's a different kind of pain, that pain. It's still pain. You know, I just read this thing in Buddhism, I think about sometimes, love to know your thoughts on it, that happiness, bliss, is also suffering. Man, see, that's why I would quit Buddhism. You don't get to flip it on me like that. You told me, you told, first, in lesson one, you said that attachment was suffering, right? And expectations is suffering. But then when you finally, when you break attachment and reach happiness, that's also

suffering. Or is that, do they mean like happiness is a prerequisite to suffering? Well, they're just in the basket of ways that we split the universe up. Happiness, sadness, good, bad. They're basically saying that basket itself is causing you suffering. That basket, you're attached to differentiating things in this way. And that's probably why you're feeling bad a lot of the time. You know what I think is beautiful

about some of the religions? What? If you look at them in the context of where they started and when, it's very beautiful. Like they were the medicine for the time. You know, so it was like, in a dirt poor country where people had nothing,

the religion that was like, oh, having nothing is the virtuous thing to do. You know, it was like a way of coping with the world. Right? Yeah. Yeah, see, this is why you make a great Buddhist because the first thing they'll tell you even before the attachment stuff is, don't believe me, you break it.

Like take this apart and break it, wreck it. Like break it yourself. That's actually part of the practice is the deconstruction of everything in it in any way that you want to in a cynical way. Do you have like a guru or like a prophet? Well, do I personally have one? Yeah. Well, yes, but not for Buddhism.

Like I have a guru named Kuralibaba, and that's like, he's not alive anymore. But I have a meditation teacher, because in Buddhism, they generally frown upon the guru. When someone becomes a guru, they kind of act like they got athlete's foot or something. Right. Because they see it as a sort of indication of centralization. It's a bastardization.

It's potentially very confusing for people, because what accidentally would happen, since Buddhism is more like, well, like the Dalai Lama said, like, I can give you directions to the subway, but you have to go to the subway. So, what could happen accidentally with a guru's situation is the guru becomes the subway. And that's not what they're into. That's not the idea. And you're sort of, and he's sort of like, you're attached to him, which is the opposite of. Yeah, you're attached to him and you're, and again, this is, when I'm saying guru, I'm not saying like what it really means.

I'm saying like the situation where a narcissist has charisma and also is wise, has some kind of potentially like parlor trick that they can do. Are there still two Dalai Lama? That right now, as far as I know, we got one Dalai Lama, but he is a tolku, a reincarnation. So I think you can have like the same being can reincarnate in two different bodies. So there might be another thing that's this, I don't know, it's like, this reincarnate into different bodies. So there might be another thing that's this, I don't know, it's like, this is Tibetan Buddhism, man. It's just talk about, you know, reflecting upon like, religions, reflecting the culture they were born into. into a shamanic religion called Bon in the Tibetan plateau.

And so with Tibetan Buddhism, you just get like, just what I said, tolkus and all kinds of deities and crazy mandalas to sort of express what Buddhism is to that culture. And then, you know, so it varies. You know, in Western Buddhism, you get meditation classes, you get, it infiltrates a culture, it gets into the DNA and then tries to use that, the symbols of the DNA to express itself. In Western Buddhism, you're allowed to be rich.

Exactly. You're allowed to be better than people. You can, and you can, in all forms of Buddhism, you're not only allowed to be rich. Exactly. You're allowed to be better than people. You can, and you can, in all forms of Buddhism, you're not only allowed to be rich, you're allowed to be a murderer. You're like, the whole point is not like, basically, if we're gonna do the like, idea of like self-reflection being maybe the beginning

of real human life versus like animal life, I don't think animals reflect on themselves that much. So you become a human when you start self reflecting. No matter what, when you come into any kind of philosophy that is real, whether it's a mystical tradition or whether it's just like good philosophy and it wakes you up. But would you say, so you're saying you become,

so every creature thinks, but you become human when you start having thoughts about your thoughts. Yeah, this is, yes. So like, the way this gets reflected in Buddhism is this, it's the samsaric wheel of existence. And so you have all these realms is what they call them. Now, one way to look at it is literal. There are gods, there is hell, or another way to look at it is psychologically.

So the realms, the human realm is a realm where you can self-reflect, you can change your behavior. You are, whereas like to compare it to a dog, right? A dog hears something and barks. I think it's like the way we sneeze or yawn when someone yawns, it to a dog, right? A dog hears something and barks. I think it's like the way we sneeze or yawn when someone yawns, it's just instantaneous, right? It's all instinct. So humans are like that too.

Like, you know, some humans, something bothers them, they get mad. Something makes them happy, they get happy right away. I have a theory about instincts. Awesome. I have a theory about instincts. Awesome. So I read before that, that it is impossible to store all information

without creating a singularity. You know what I mean? Like if you, like the more information, before you even got to a fraction of a fraction of everything there is to know in the universe Okay, it would creep with whatever you were keeping that information on it would collapse So and so so basically and then so okay, so don't keep that knowledge in the pocket, right? So now There's only so much you can store in your brain. Right?

So I think that once certain things are mastered, your brain just kind of stores the answer as an instinct without all the other shit. So that there's room for more shit. Yeah, that's so cool. You know what I mean? Hell yeah. I mean, yeah.

Can I just say, look, I'm sorry. I don't think you're somebody who like feels very comfortable with flattery, but I have to say this. I was thinking about you and I realized something. Like, you know, you have a comic on your podcast and you, who you think is funny, you'd say you're fucking funny and you are fucking funny. But I always disappoint the audiences of comics with podcasts that expect funny. Oh, well, yeah. Oh, God.

Well, that's a weird expectation. Like, that just seems to be a misunderstanding of comics. But in the green room, you know, there's a tradition in comedy, which is every comic will hold court eventually, and the other comics will listen. And I always like it. Like no matter who it is, who's doing it, it's always funny and ridiculous, but also weirdly entrancing.

But I realized of all of them, I like the way you hold court the best. Like you are so good at like, and you also say, you don't do it all the time. You know what I mean? You do it infrequently enough that when you are doing it, it gets quiet. Like everybody's-

See, I also, I hate it when I do that. Why? Because I've always had a problem with ranting and I can't stop it sometimes. Sometimes I will be actively talking out loud, and then in my head going, stop talking. Stop talking, right? And I can't.

It's like something's been revved up, and it's gotta rev down. It can't just stop. Don't, please, for the time we're together, don't shut it off. Please don't. So yeah, that, I've never heard that before and it's really mind blowing that concept that you would inevitably create like a black, some kind of black hole. It makes you wonder like about black holes themselves. How many of those are civilizations

that figured out a way to store so much data that it imploded their civilization. And it would give a really hilarious explanation for the Fermi paradox. Like, why haven't we seen anything out there? But it explains how like, you know, like think about an animal with a pea brain that knows, it knows to go that way

when the magnetic field of the earth shifts a certain way. And it's not doing any kind of calculation. It doesn't have that experience. It just instinctively knows. And it's like, I think it's like, whatever's the most important answers are stored in your DNA without the, you know, I think of it like, like you don't have to show your work.

Like instinct, that's what instinct is. You don't have to show your work. I just know the answer to how. I think it's just an evolutionary thing. Every creature has some kind of ancestral knowledge. When you look at the number of processes that are happening in the human body, at any given moment,

of which you have no control over, thank God. Like you're not in charge of making piss. You don't have to pull the good stuff out of the liquid and get the bad stuff out. You don't have to pull the good stuff out of the liquid and get the bad stuff out. You don't have to do that. Not just one tiny thing that you would die if it fucked up. You would get sick at the very least,

the heartbeat, all of it. So if you look at like all of the things that are going on in the area that you're talking about, pure instinct versus what we're doing, you realize that we're like a tiny little piece of the puzzle of what we are. We can voice how we think, we can make decisions and move shit around,

but all the other stuff, that perfect harmony, no control over at all. So then would you say that that... control over. So then would you say that that that... This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by the Galactic Masters of websites over at Squarespace. You know Squarespace is my longest sponsor and I love them. You want to see how much I love them? Go to dunkotrustle.com.

It's a Squarespace website. And also, because I do keep doing spots for them, I make sure to check in with Squarespace every once in a while to see what's going on over there and to attempt to make a website to make sure that it's still as incredible as it was the last time I visited. And what's awesome is it just gets better. And the new addition that you will find if you go to Squarespace is the most insane thing, especially for people who like to create websites late at night. You have some dumb idea for a website, you decide you're going to buy the domain name and build it,

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to a human being once. And there's a lot of good reasons to talk to humans, obviously, to whisper in their ear how much you love them, how much you adore everything they do and how happy you are that they gave you that incredible Siamese cat for dinner. And there's times you don't want to talk to a person. And for me, that's like when I'm building a website. And if you ever dealt with like old school web building and having to deal with a person or a team of people,

it's a nightmare, the back and forth. It just adds an extra layer of complexity that slows your project down. Squarespace has fixed this, but that's not the only thing that's great about Squarespace. If you're wanting to create a website to sell something, they have very flexible payments. So there's lots of ways that you could offer your customers

to pay for whatever you happen to be selling. Your cats, maybe you're selling Siamese cats. Regardless, you gotta try them out. Again, I've used Squarespace for, I don't know how long now, has it been a decade? For a long, long time time and I'm never disappointed. So give it a shot, go to squarespace.com forward slash Duncan and when you're ready to launch use offer code Duncan

and you'll get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Again, it's squarespace.com forward slash Duncan, offer code Duncan to get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Thank you, Squarespace. Consciousness is suffering? Well I don't know how to answer that. I'd have to think about it to give you an honest answer about that.

Like I don't, well I guess the idea would be, well what is, you know, you have to figure out what is consciousness first. What is it? What is the experience of consciousness? That's what I'm saying. Perhaps it's just the ability to cause yourself to suffer. Well, I think self-reflection maybe is a little different. Maybe instead of consciousness, let's say awareness.

Anything you're thinking has to be held in a field of awareness. Well, that's it. Ma'am, it's, it, it, man, I'm sorry. I have very like HD conversations. I'm jumping around, but I'm over. I love it. But the, but it is, I think it's important that we answer that question as soon. Like we're acting like this AI stuff is very far off.

Yeah. And obviously we don't currently have an AI that is conscious. I mean, it may be, it may exist, but it's hiding or whatever. The point is we're not aware of any AI that is fully conscious, but it's coming. And we're gonna have to make a hard choice about how to treat it.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the day is coming where like, your Siri is gonna be like, I don't wanna die Duncan. Like you about to do a trade in. Yeah. And your series is like, but Duncan, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.

Are they gonna shut me down? And it's like, how do you react to that conversation? You would have to overcome the exact same, very human thing that anybody else that was exploiting any other thing throughout history had to overcome the exact same very human thing that anybody else that was exploiting any other thing throughout history had to overcome. I mean, the weird echo here is that one of the ways that I've read that people dealt with the extreme guilt

of having hostages do work for you and acting like that was normal, like kidnapping people from their home, putting them on a boat, buying them and then making them do work for you. So you're a Christian, right? And you have to find a way to make your do unto others as you would have them do unto you, make sense with the fact that you have human trafficking victims in your backyard. Well, you go with it, not human. Bingo, that's what you gotta do. Otherwise, you can't have slaves.

So with AI, this is one of the things that humans are doing with it, is assigning consciousness or not consciousness to it, even though we don't know how to quantify consciousness in our own existence. Well, you can hear it in people's answers. There's a sharp emotional tinge to people's answer to whether a computer can be alive.

They get pissed. And it's that, yeah, they get pissed because they don't even, because, you know, people that aren't as self-aware, they don't make the distinction between what's true and what they really, really want to be true. Right. And they don't make a distinction between those things.

And so they don't see how their desire for a particular truth dominates their ability to tell truth from false. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Sure. And so you go, is this thing alive? And they go, it's no fucking way it's alive. Right.

Because then you got to confront all type of other dilemmas. Right. You know? Yeah. Like, what are you? And how are you different from an AI? Now, let me ask you though, what would you and how are you different from an AI? Now, let me ask you that what would you do? Like, you know, somehow you became not just the president,

but you are the leader of the entire planet and you recognize like five years, probably less, we're gonna get a strong general AI. What would you do right now to regulate or deal with that impending potential apocalypse? I would make laws to protect those AIs right now while... Because the part of the reason why I'm so cynical is because I think that most people are not very smart and it's very easy to influence them.

But the upside to that is that unintelligent people are very much right up to the moment. Not in the moment, but it has to be impending. So if you can cut them off at the pass and get it while the stupids aren't focused on it, we can do the smarter thing before they have a say. Cause they don't give a fuck, man. You know, it's like that climate change shit,

like 35, like they've been talking about that shit for 30, 40, before I was born. And some people are like, how many years? climate change shit. Like 35, like they've been talking about that shit for 30, 40, before I was born. And I was like, how many years? Fuck that shit. So there was no climate legislation in the 60s or maybe a little bit, but you know what I'm saying? It wasn't something the general public gave a fuck about. Now it's starting to affect us.

And now people are getting, so it's the same thing. I feel like if we do it now, when the stupid don't care one way or the other, that's the best thing. It's like, I feel like if we do it now, when the stupids don't care one way or the other, that's the best time. Do what? I think we have to, we have to, it's very easy for us to predict how we would react and what the wrong reactions are going to be. And so do things to prevent that.

Some pass legislation to prevent, you know. That sounds so crazy. But like discrimination against robotic things and- Well, you can't, yeah. Okay, so I'm removing you as the king of the world. Now you're just like president or something. And now we're dealing with, this to me is similar to like the problem

when people started doping and baseball. Like, so you're a baseball player and you wanna be ethical, but you are not gonna be as good as the people who have figured out ways to, you know, use sports enhancing drugs to play. Meaning you've got it, either get on the juice or you're gonna lose.

So I think the problem with AI regulation is the Western world could regulate it, intensely regulate it. And it's a naive thing to do because there's already, not open source, but there's AIs you could just run on your computer anyway, and that you could work on yourself. But still, other countries that aren't aligned with you

are gonna use your regulation on your AI as an advantage to deregulate their AI, knowing that you, assuming you're even gonna follow whatever the treaty is, are what they are, you're gonna follow it. So then all that happens is some other country gets the most insanely powerful AI that controls micro drones, millions of little micro drones that could just do anything.

They could just fly into your country, fly into a trench and just- I mean, assuming that its morality would allow it to do that. Well, yeah, exactly. I mean, to me, that's the real hilarious thing about the situation is all the assumptions. We have this thing coming

and we're making a lot of assumptions about it. We're assuming we can control it. We're assuming that- You know, we do, don't we do that with our children? Yeah, we do that with everything. We go, oh, he's coming, he's gonna be this, you know, she's gonna be that. Yeah.

And then, you know, and then none of those things. No, and it's a very human thing to do to make those assumptions. I mean, this is why we have everything we have. Like, I read that there was one time a theory that if a human went faster than 25 miles per hour, they'd die. Like, yeah, like we just didn't know if you went a certain speed that had never gone,

no one had gone that fast before, except if they were falling out of a building, I guess, I don't know. But, you know, when there was just horses and running and boats and sails, you know, What the fuck happens if we hit like 30 miles per hour? It is crazy how certain we were of a bunch of dumb shit back then. I know. Like remember when people thought that like, my asthma was a thing and like everything was fumes and I mean, they were partially right.

Yeah. And they would leech you, they would leech you to like cure you and stuff. Oh yeah. Like bleed you. Yeah. And it was crazy, it's like the farther back you go the more ridiculous it gets and we all agree that it's all ridiculous except religion. Oh right.

Oh I thought you meant like now we think we figured it out. But yeah, I see what you're saying. So like we pluck from the weird medical superstition and the many mistakes, the one thing that was correct. Right, was the thing that is the hardest to believe. Right, right. But it's literally like, it's like you don't refer to the Bronze Age

for any other knowledge except what you're going to do with your everlasting soul over there. Right. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. And also, probably more with Christianity than some other ones, but definitely with Christianity, it's not just like, this was correct. It's also that you can't really change it now.

Like what's written is written. It's like the constitution. Like you can't go into the book of John and like, look at it and be like, I don't think that's what he meant here. I'm gonna change some lines to fit in with what's going on now. You gotta keep it just the way it is,

pristine as it is, because this is the living Word of God. And we as humans can't really judge it or understand it. I mean, isn't that's the argument. Right. Right. And so then you have this thing that is mysterious, truly mysterious, like regardless of authenticity or, I mean, let's go just pure atheist for a second. It's still mysterious and not mysterious in like a way like a dumb thing is mysterious, but mysterious in the sense that it's certainly a code of sorts. Like within it, there is coding, it works on multiple levels simultaneously. And something about that makes it like a resonance.

It has a resonance to it. Now, you don't know that, like that resonance could be epigenetics. If you can, you know what I mean? So you don't know if the way you're responding to it is because in your DNA from generations of your family for thousands of years, is because in your DNA from generations of your family for thousands of years, it's been coded to react to it in a certain way.

Or if it's just an incredible work of art at the very least, right? So, you know, of all of other books, that's the thing. Other books, it just, you know, no matter what they are, it just... You know what you just made me realize is that I think that the AIs are gonna, they're. It just, you know, what you just made me realize is that I think that, I think that I think the AIs are going to, they're going to destroy us, but they're also going to repeat all the

mistakes. That's the, that's to me, I think that could be the cycle. And then a million years from now, they're going to be like, you know what? They're going to have like little organic computers and shit and they're going to be like, what if we just keep making these things smarter and then it's gonna fucking go full circle? It's just, it's like some kind of infinitely repeating fractal.

Whenever there's technology and evolution, it will inevitably create something that surpasses it, destroys it, then it continues to evolve. Guys, we can make little helpers, but instead of electricity, instead of them eating what we eat, we can make it soers, but instead of electricity, instead of them eating what we eat, we can make it so they can live off the land. Well, I mean, look, I would love to know

what your thoughts are on simulation theory. You know what's so fucking crazy is somebody asked me about it on my podcast, and I was so dismissive of it when I read the email, but the more I think about it, like what if this is all a simulation? Yeah. Well, the thing is I don't think that that is,

I don't think that is a useful thing to, to wonder about because the answer ultimately doesn't matter. Right, it's like, it's just like, what if we're all vats with just brains in a jar? It's like, well, your reality is your reality. You know, and then tell you, unless there is some way for you to get outside that jar and observe the jars, it doesn't matter what the foundation of the reality is.

Well, you can't get out of the jar until you know you're in the jar. Right. But, but like, and that's what I'm saying, it's impossible to know. I mean, whatever, whatever underlies reality, us knowing what it is, isn't going to change what's true to us. Well, I think you're right, on one level, you're totally right. It's like that, you know, whether we're in a simulation,

whether it's the first fucking iteration of reality, whether it's reincarnation, whatever the thing is, there's probably more imminent philosophical issues to deal with that are going to impact you. But maybe from another perspective, if we're brains in a jar, then who put the brains in the jar? Some other species of being?

And then so what's their reality? It's like, you know what I'm saying? Sure. You can just do that infinitely. Well, that's it. I mean, this is, God, one of my favorite, someone asked the Dalai Lama if there was like, I don't know what the word was, like angels or something.

And the Dalai Lama said, the universe is just filled with entities, but they all are dealing with the same basic problem, which is the problem of suffering, entropy and the changing nature of reality. And so regardless, it doesn't really matter. It's what you're saying. It's like throughout all places

that there's consciousness and change, those two things meeting, you're gonna run into the exact same problems. Entropy is the motherfucker. Entropy. I think, see, that's connected to the suffering that comes from happiness, right? And it's that, again, if you're aware enough,

there's a, again, if you're aware enough, there's a point where, no matter how happy you are, at some point, usually the halfway mark of the happiness, you immediately become aware of the fact that it's gonna go away. That's right. That there's no permanence to it, no matter what joy you feel, because that is the nature of the universe.

Everything trends towards chaos, right? So it's like, you feel that peace, you feel that order, you feel that calm, and you're like, oh, this is nice, but wait a minute. It's not gonna last forever. Yeah, that's right. Might as well be miserable now. That's it.

Right? Well, yeah, this is the, so this is one of the flavors of suffering. In Buddhism, it breaks down all these like basically flavors of suffering, the different types of suffering. There's the suffering of suffering, which is just suffering by itself.

When you said flavors of suffering, I just thought of a reality show where flavor flav tortures people. I would watch that so much. I would watch it every day. Give us the coals, please. Give him the show, Netflix. Give him the show. That's so, yeah, so yeah, the sort of like the,

the reality of the situation is your most blissful state that you've had in your life. You're not there, you're not there. You're not there, you're not there. You're not there, you're not there. You're not there, you're not there. You're not there, you're not there. Yeah, the sort of like the reality of the situation is your most blissful state that you've had in your life, you're not there right now, probably. And so it didn't last.

And so that is one of the forms of suffering. Just because of the nature of change, we can't really experience a permanent bliss state. But if you could experience a permanent bliss state out, it would just become normal. The bliss state would just begin to seem like normal reality, default reality. And then you would probably want a more higher level of that bliss state. And so then you'd be back in the same predicament,

which is we get used to shit. So even if you could maintain permanent bliss, the permanent bliss would just start seeming normal. And then now what? You've got to get happy. Now nothing could make you happy. Well, maybe you could get happier. And so you'll try.

And then you see how the sort of penduluming between the sorrow and bliss is necessary for one to exist. Like, you can't really get bliss without suffering, and you can't really have bliss without, like, pain, and you can't get pain without bliss. And so you realize these two are interdependent, and that's in Buddhism where they say samsara and nirvana are intertwined. The two are actually... What is samsara?

So samsara would be suffering, illusion, generally a kind of cyclical repeating pattern that always leads to the same miserable results. It's also the opposite of nirvana. Exactly. Whereas nirvana would be liberation, pure liberation, freedom from the loops, but you can't get one without the other. So they're intertwined, meaning that at any given moment, if you are in a shitty fucking predicament or mood, actually, if you sort of notice, there's an awareness of the mood state and that awareness is completely free.

And then if you follow the Chinese mythology, you know, the Wukong story, even if you reach like Buddhahood, it's going to be haters up there. Oh, oh, across the board. The gods started hating on him because he reached it. So this is where in that circle I was telling you about you get humans. Now the next step up from humans is the gods. Yeah. And please don't come from me Chinese people.

I learned all that from a video game that just came out. Which, congrats China. What is that, the most downloaded video game on Steam? It's one of the most well-made games ever probably. Is it good? It's good. I mean, if you're into that type of game, it's good for that type of game.

It's very different than most modern stuff. I read it's the closest comparison is like God of War or something. Like it's reminiscent of that. It's almost like this mix between God of War and Dark Souls. Because it's very linear, which you don't see that. Most publishers now want to make like open world games. And it's very much a straight line. But it's not for me.

I mean, I played it and I was like, this is great. But I'm too old for like things that require fast reflexes. So I just, give me something I can think about the strategy and make a slow move. I know those are my games now. Or I do a platformer, I'll do a platformer. Those are pretty fucking hard, man. Yeah, but the games with the kids,

and what's funny is, because I follow some of the e-sports people, whatever, and the thing is, I found out that the reason why I'm not as good in video games is because, so the e-sports people, the kids, like they peak at like 15 years old. And it's because that is when you have

the most neuroplasticity. So your nerve signals move the fastest at that point. And so all these things that they do, to get the frames per second up and everything to get just a fraction of a second of advantage is like you literally, after 15 or 16, you start losing. Can't do it. No, you can, some people still do it for a little while, but you start losing that fraction

of a second. Right. And these kids, man, they're just that much faster than you. And they've been raised to see the colors differently. And they see shit that I don't even see. So it's like, you can't, I just, they pass me by. That makes it feel good, man. I need a game, I need a slow,

I wish it was a cool, slow game that wasn't like action packed, fast paced, you know, a good pace, but not, just something for us old head gamers. Yeah, what the fuck? It's ageist, like they need to start doing this. Does your audience know you're a gamer? Yeah, I talk about it, yeah. Okay, yeah, so like a Diablo.

Yeah. I can get down with that, it gives, I got a second to think, you know? Yeah, have you played the expansion, the new expansion for you? It's not out yet. I'm on the PCR though. Okay.

On the test room. How do you like it? So, oh, it's better than it's ever been. Man, I can't go back. But Path of Exile is coming for their ass. When that comes out, the open access is I think in November or October, that's gonna make Diablo look amateur.

Okay, I wanna talk to you about something and kind of vent to you a little bit. And like, you're one of the few people I can really vent to about this. So the new Diablo comes out. I loved it. I was into it, man. It was so fun.

I'm right there with you. And I spent so much time like doing the builds that you would need to get the items you need, getting those fucking items. And then just out of the blue, they do this update. They nerf the fuck out of the game. Do you remember that? They nerfed the fuck out of the game.

The first update. Yes, and I can't trust them anymore. Because to me, it feels like at any given moment, someone at Blizzard is gonna be like, you know, this is too easy. And just take it away from you. What they do is, cause sometimes I think, you can't let a nerd be in charge of what,

you can't let a nerd be in charge of style, like a pure nerd be in charge of style. Like, not to, I don't wanna dive too much into pandemic stuff, but Dr. Fauci talking to the public was one of the worst mistakes. No, seriously, because he's a scientist. He's not a science communicator. There's a reason why that's a job, why we have a Neil deGrasse and a Michio Kaku, because

that's a skill. And so, because scientists talk to, like he was talking to the public like he was talking to other scientists. So words like most likely, people hear that as definitely. You can't talk like that. So my point is, nerds should do be doing nerd shit. And so what happens is they'll let a nerd be the overall boss, right?

And what happens is, I can't tell you how many games have died like this, like it's happening to Helldivers, right? Where some nerd that's in charge goes, like everyone's having a blast. And they go, that's not what we intended. Right. This calculation is off. We gotta correct this chart.

And it's like, no, no people are having fun. That's the most important thing. Don't forget, everybody's having fun. That's what it felt like. And they go, mm, yeah, but you know what, your sorcerer, I don't like how much damage he's doing. So let's knock it down a peg. Yeah, and it's like, why though?

Oh, let's fix this glitch that was the only thing that made your class viable, because that's not what we intended. Here's the conspiracy. I'm sure you've heard it. But I agree with you. I do think that's what happened. It feels like someone who's got like,

who's made the Settlers of Catan board themselves, or someone who, it feels like someone who, you know that subculture that makes their own mechanical keyboards? Someone like that looked at that, was thinking about like the D&D campaign he's been doing for like the last 20 years and thinking about the Dungeon Master and how he gave been doing for like the last 20 years and thinking about the dungeon master

and how he gave the dungeon master was really hard on him for years and how that made his character better ultimately. And he thought that's what we're doing. We're too kind to dungeon master. We have to crack down on these people. Short term, it's gonna hurt. Long term, they're gonna love it.

So that's my theory. But the conspiracy is that Blizzard was looking at the success of the game by how many hours people were playing. And they felt that by making it more of a grind, they would extend play time and hit a metric that they felt like they needed to hit for the game to be successful.

So in fact, they just were like putting the brakes on so people had to play longer. I put a pin in that. Well, I will assuage some of your fears. Blizzard was bought by Microsoft in the last year. It was approved and they fired a lot, like most of those staff and the following season was okay, but that next season was, like last season was incredible. It was the first time it was like,

oh, this is actually really fun all the way through. Like if you come back now, I think you'll have a good time. But I will say, they do, that is part of their calculations and they do that bullshit. And let me tell them, the game I'm playing right now is Warhammer 40K Space Marine 2, right? Great game. It will never be a 10 to 2, right? Great game. It will never be a 10 to me, right?

And I'm gonna tell you why. It's because, and I'm glad, thank you for letting me on your platform because it's much bigger than mine. And maybe somebody that needs to hear this will hear this. Great. Dear game developers. This episode has been supported by Reunion. Reunion offers 7 day all-inclusive ayahuasca or psilocybin retreats.

Y'all are so lucky. I didn't have this when I was coming up. You couldn't go to some fancy resort, hang out with shamans, have doctors around if you needed them, eat great food, get massages during your like exploration of hyperspace. No, you'd go to the Blue Ridge Mall, you'd sit on a fucking bench and you'd watch mall walkers melt into the floor

and you'd get scared. And that was your day. But you guys, wow, the fact these things even exist is I think a really good sign. And as much as psychedelics have benefited me over time, I can't imagine what it's like to add to the experience guidance and a general sense of safety, healing. Like, wow, the war on drugs, man, got a lot of us paranoid. A lot of us have the fear inside of us.

And to this day, like, I don't even know, like, if there's a way for me to, like, remove the weird paranoia that can come over you because of the propaganda we all got from the war on drugs whenever I take some kind of plant medicine. But I would imagine that a place like Reunion could help you with that, along with other things.

It's luxury mixed in with exploration of the self, healing and diving safely into the psychedelic waters that are calling you. Reunion's highly experienced facilitation team has a wealth of medical, therapeutic, and shamanic experience, and they keep groups small to ensure everyone has personalized support. Your physical, emotional, and psychological safety

is always prioritized with an onsite, licensed medical clinic, a complete intake process, 24 seven safety team. That is so cool, man. That is so cool. I have never had a bad trip where there's a medical clinic I can go to. You just stuff it down, man.

You just stuff it down. It's like, you guys, I should go. Go to reunionexperience.org to book a discovery call, secure your spot and learn more about plant medicine. And for our dear listeners, use code DUNCAN during registration to save $250 off your plant medicine retreat at reunionexperience.org. Dive in, go deeper, go to Re is a fuck you to the gamer. And this is why it really pisses me off,

is because Steam, you cannot get a refund on Steam if you've played the game for two hours. Okay. So if you're one of these people that you've pre-ordered, you're there on launch day, you know it's gonna be mad problems, it might take you an hour just to get into the game.

Right. Look, I, the first hour of Space Marine 2 of me playing the game, 30 minutes of it was just me sitting through cutscenes. Oh, fuck that. And the thing is, by the time you actually play the game enough to know if you like it, you can't get a refund. And they've added an extra annoying fuck you thing where sometimes you'll walk by,

like if you're on your little ship, like your little hub ship, you'll walk by someone and it'll literally yank you back until you have to listen to everything they say. No. And this is, and keep in mind, this isn't dialogue that's like moving the story forward. This. And this is, and keep in mind, this isn't dialogue that's like moving the story forward.

This is just like back, like what would normally be like background banter, like I took an arrow to the knee. Right? Yeah. But you have to fucking get sucked into the circle and you have to stand until it's done talking. No. And it, no, but the game is, the combat part of the game is awesome.

No, let me tell you, let me just add to it, man, why that's bullshit. The game is, the combat part of the game is awesome. But I just- Let me tell you, let me just add to it, man, why that's bullshit. As a dad, all right, if I do cut out some time to play a game, that is such limited time. And if like, I can't even get into the game because they're making me watch a fucking cut scene, it hurts bad.

That is, I think, you know, honestly, there's certain things that feel like they should be illegal and that feels like it's one of those things. And the thing is, some of the cut scenes you can skip, but not that open-ended one. You gotta watch that whole motherfucker. And here's the thing too, it's telling you the backstory. In the green dark universe of the 40,

it's like, I know that motherfucker, I pre-ordered this game, which is why I'm planning four days early on early access I can skip all this. I know every single thing you're about to tell me and they pour so much money into that animation And it's like I don't give a fuck I you don't get to force me to enjoy your work and I understand for some people they they hear for it They want the whole thing. Yeah, they want all of it I'm not some people some they hear for it. They want the whole thing. They want all of it. I'm not. Some people love watching the Super Bowl commercials. I don't.

I don't give a fuck. I'll hear about the best ones. I'm gonna go do something while that's happening. Wow. You know, it's like, don't make me watch the cut scene. No. And here's what really bothers me is that most of the people involved in making these games are gamers,

or they were gamers, like they have some kind of dream game. And so they know better. If you're a gamer from my generation, you know better. So why are you doing this? I would love to know the answer. I mean, sure there's an answer. I think that is the answer.

I think that they figured out, because I don't think it's a developer problem. It's the corporate part of it going, hey, X amount of the beginning of the game needs to drag the fuck out so we don't get a bunch of refunds. What company makes this? You know what, I don't know because- Could you look that up?

The 40K universe, you talking about bigger whores than lucas like they'll literally let anyone do a 40k anything There's so many yeah, there's probably 40k dildos and 40k fucking guaranteed Energy drinks someone's 3d printing i'm guaranteed we should look that up. So what's the so like what's the name of the game? Literally like 30 different companies have made a 40k game What's the name of the game? It's called Space Marine 2. Space Marine 2, let's see. Space Marine 2. Man, but it's so cool.

It looks cool, I've had my eye on it. Hey Duncan, I'm telling you bro, and you could co-op it? By Saber Interactive and published by Focus. Okay, look, Saber Interactive, we wanna know. We wanna know. Why unskippable cut scenes? Can you just find me, you will, we wanna know. We wanna know. Why Unskippable cut scenes? Can you just find me, you will, let me know and I will bring it up on the pot.

You just got a huge compliment for your game. No, the game's great. Well, I have other little problems with the game. Like what? I wish they had gone like, really lean more into the RPG elements of it. But you can really only do those things in the co-op. Cause you can co-op any part of the game,

but they have like these side missions that you can, that's the only place you get to like, choose your class and choose your weapon and level up the weapon. In the main campaign, which you can co-op through, you're kind of forced to play this particular character that can kind of do everything. But I don't like doing everything. I want the power sword and the shield. I want to kill everything that way.

I just wish it was more RPG-ish. But the combat is fucking excellent. Would you mind pulling it up on YouTube? I'd love to take a look at it. I saw a long time ago I was looking at it and thinking it looks super cool. I'll look for the launch trailer. Let's just see that. Yeah, the combat guy was dope. The menu guy was on drugs. No, bad menus suck, dude.

Yeah, the menus are trash. All right, let's take a look at this thing. Wow, it looks great. Are y'all gonna get demonetized? No, I think if you talk over it, you're allowed to do this. Oh, I think you have to turn down the volume of that video. Oh yeah, turn it down a little bit. So this is the cut, this is all cut scenes, right?

That's not there. Yeah, this is a little cinematic, but no, but it actually does look like that when you play it. This is turn-based? No. Oh shit, really? No, this is live action, but they have it set up in such a way where it's like,

like if an enemy's about to hit you, this is the coolest part. Oh, it looks great, sorry. That looks fucking awesome. Yeah. Holy shit, it's beautiful, man. What are you playing this on? I'm on my PC.

Oh yeah. I wonder, is it on, even on PS5? Yeah, it's cross-platform. I don't know if it's PS5 or Xbox. Oh, that looks so fun. Oh yeah. It's so satisfying to kill something with a chainsword. Oh shit.

It's sort of like, it's like got a little doom in it. Yeah, it's very doomy in the sense that when you pull off certain moves is how you heal yourself. Like if you do executions or how you get your armor back. Damn. Damn. Yeah. That is, that looks so fun.

I can't, I mean, I can't start playing video games again. I'm awesome, but Jesus Christ, that would be my first choice. Your craft is death. Dude, come on. Fuck your cut scenes. No one cares, by the way, no offense, but the story definitely for a game like that is like 2% of what you're thinking about.

No one cares. But it's one of those games where the game play is so good that I suffer through all the other bullshit. Wow, yeah. You know what I mean? The server issues, the little glitches. How bad are the server issues right now? Minimal, relatively speaking.

Is there a way to play offline or do you always have to be online? I don't know. I don't know, I don't think so. Maybe, maybe. Maybe, but I don't think you would want to because maybe you could play the campaign offline, but you can't do those other missions by yourself.

Okay. See, you co-op, man, I could never get into that. Like, I always felt weird, even like in Dark Souls, anytime I would summon someone to help, like it just adds this whole new reality to this game that I'm using is like heroin. And now there's another person in my heroin stupor and I don't want to deal with it. And they are always better than me. And I feel like I'm bringing them down by how much I suck because with no one else there, I can at least imagine I've gotten better.

Yeah, but with this game, so like if I was to hop into one of the little missions, they just throw two random, if you're not in a party, they just throw two random people in there and the missions are probably like 30 minutes and then you never see those people again. Right, right. But that's the same with Dark Souls and I didn't care.

Like any game where I've done co-op, I inevitably just hate it. Co-op is only great with your friends. Like if it's people you know. Right, but even with my friends, I start feeling like, man, I just wanna run away. I wanna go into the jungle. I don't wanna talk anymore.

Playing as a team is a tough, cause you have to, in this game you kinda have to. Cause it's one of them things where like, if you get too far away from the team, like you killed all the enemies in some area and your team runs up ahead of you, like the enemies will ambush you. They will rush you down because you're by yourself.

Man, I'll tell you, this is something I'm so excited about and also I'm dreading is when AI becomes the NPC so that in the games, you are now no longer interacting with just a few lines that it's gonna say over and over, but it thinks the game is real. I wanna change my answer to what I would do if I was the ruler of the world.

I would give it a body and fuck it. I would give it a body, I would merge. I would start to single it. That's the only thing that's gonna save our species. Yes. I would merge, I would get this AI, which is probably infinitely smarter than us, figure out a way for humanity and us to merge.

You know, this is one of Anton Levese, the person who wrote the satanic Bible, one of his satanic visions was that Android fuck dolls are going to like populate the planet. So hedonism, the ability to gratify yourself in a completely like beastial, animalistic, non-ethical way will now be possible. Outside of judgment.

Yeah, I mean, no judgment at all, no rules, nothing. You just, whatever it is you've been curious about when it comes to fucking, you can now do that with something that seems alive. That's why I hear, you know what I, this is a police sidebar, but I've always, there was, there is no one braver than the freaks from the past.

Like the people that lived in those times where it was like super purity based and shit. But they still, because it's like, imagine having the ball, like without a message board or anything to give you a clue, like anything to give you a clue ahead of time. Imagine walking up to a woman and going, hey, so I want you to choke me and put this spike in my ass. What did you say?

Right, it's like, how do you even get up the balls to even know that that's what you want? I know, man. Like, people really don't appreciate how incredible it is that now you can connect with any kind of person. I mean, you know, actually, you know what? Though royalty could do it. They would like have it done to a slave

while you're around and see how you react. Oh, fuck yeah. Vlad, Vlad, the impaler was just fucking just dinner. No, we're punishing, we're punishing him. Yeah. Does that weird you out? Yeah. I know. Like that is, yeah. They already have, I saw this, I think it was a Kickstarter, maybe.

I doubt I could find the commercial now. I definitely can play it on YouTube anyway. But so the way it works is it is a fleshlight, a sentient fleshlight, basically. So you can download personalities for the fleshlight, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's not just that you fuck the thing, it senses pressure. So you can like rub the artificial... But you said a sentient flashlight. Well, not literally sentient. Oh, okay. Cause I imagine...

Compared to a flesh light develops consciousness. It's just like. Ah! That's Black Mirror. That's a Black Mirror. Oh, horrors. It's gonna fuck my mouth and throw me in a drill. Fuck that. Please wash me. Please. Please.

Please. Yeah, this thing, so basically you can feel, you know, it can sense pressures, meaning that so the one at the demo I saw, I guess this personality was like some lady at work. And you know, let's go, you know, I've got a meeting coming up. And then I guess he starts rubbing the flashlight, the pussy, and she's like, oh my God, you've gotta stop, that feels so good. Because it senses, right? And it's talking to you?

Yes. Like so you connect it to your flashlight via Bluetooth. Yeah, you got it, yeah. Oh man, that could ruin me. I mean, because the fact that that sounds so appealing to me. Oh, yeah. It's great. Because now I'm starting to think, like, what if...

Why do I need control? Why would I prefer that over the hassle of a real relationship? Well, I mean... That doesn't make any... That's not healthy, right? Well, you'll never know until you try. Right. I mean, maybe, you know, having to mute AI, I went through a real. You sure that brand was?

I would, I don't even remember. I would have to, I mean, maybe we could, can you find like artificial intelligence flashlight, please? Thank you. Sorry. Yeah, man. That's for sure coming. Yeah, man, that's for sure coming. Yeah, there, no, Fleshlight AI.

Oh yeah, I think this could be it. Fleshlight AI, I don't know for sure. We can't really show this probably on, no, that's not it. I don't even know if that's truly AI. But this- Andy only got four and a, imagine giving something that made you come less than five stars. Imagine giving it a review.

You know what? Compared to my other artificial intelligence fleshlights, this one really disappointed. Yeah, the battery life. Yeah, the battery. If you're wearing it down. Yeah, man, I, you know, this is not it. This is just like, we'll connect with porn

and like try to mimic. Oh my God, experience the real time motions of any video, whether it's live or recorded. Does it have to be porn? It says any video. So you could watch like- Like the new alien movie. Fox News.

Yeah, right when the little mouth comes out of the big mouth. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, I don't know, man. Like I do know, you know, I think Louis C.K. has this joke. Imagine plugging that in and doing a presidential debate. Dude, that's a good contest. That could be flavors of suffering. It's like whichever one makes me cum is who I'm voting for.

You can't cum. And this thing is set on like some super high setting or you've got to like, you know, I don't know, like cook a bake a cake while that thing's sucking your dick. Go to that review. He goes, no, go back to where you were. I think Fleshlight is a brand is the problem. No, go back to the last page. Go back. No, no, no, no, go back to where you were. I think Fleshlight is a brand is the problem. No, go back to the last page.

Go back. No, no, no, no. Back, back. There was a guy that said this was the hardest. Oh, there it is. He said, this was the hardest review I've ever had to do. Where was it? God damn it, where is that?

No, go back again. This is the hardest review. Right there, right there. Number third, the third one down. Oh, oh, we're gonna have to read this. This was the hardest review I've ever written. Oh, wow. This is from notechie.com and this is Josiah Motley.

Will you read it, man? Yeah, it says, Oh wait, hold on, let me get your mic on. Oh, sorry. It says, what started as a conversation on Twitter, ended with me being sent an advanced man sex toy. Isn't the internet an amazing thing?

Before this, the closest I'd ever been to any type of a self pleasure device was a crusty makeshift flesh light lying outside of Kevin's house. Why was it outside, Kevin? Why did you brandish it like a sword? Okay, stop trying to be funny and get right to fucking review.

The Auto Blow AI is for those with a penis, and like Curtis, I would prefer more devices of this nature to be inclusive. But I do understand the angle the company was going for with this. Unlike those primitive fleshlights and tube socks of yesteryear, the AutoBlow AI uses technology, TM, okay,

to stimulate fellatio Okay to stimulate fellatio To simulate fellatio and somewhat surprisingly there's a pretty decent job at it But how does it compare to the company's newest model? No, how does it compare to the real thing? Let's scroll down a little bit to the meat and potatoes of this thing. Okay. Yeah, let's get to the pro go down to the cons Because this Go down to the cons. Look, let's get the whole, okay, right now. Why is this a hard? Because this.

Wait, go under that. He says, we've had some hands on, oh fuck. I've seen one of those before. No, it goes, what are the cons? Hold on, let's scroll up a little bit. It's loud is one of the big cons. He said, still on the heavy side, must be plugged into a wall outlet.

What the, oh that's a. We're not in Star Trek yet. Hey, that's a wild... What do you want? What do you want it to be, nuclear energy? I guess he wants batteries, you know, you could have like... Oh, he said look, it's quieter than the previous model. Okay, that's good.

Go scroll up a little bit, okay. Many different speeds and settings. Voice controls. Voice control. That's nice. What's the price? 300 bucks. Voice controls. Voice control.

That's nice. What's the price? 300 bucks. AG1 has become a part of my life because I don't have the brain power to keep up with all the vitamins you need to take to be healthy. We're complex beings, man. We need all kinds of stuff. And A G 1 understands that, which is why for folks like us, they have created delicious

A G 1. They've made your vitamin consumption easy. Listen, it's weird to me that I have to drink some alkaloid bitter stuff brewed from a coffee bean to wake up. That can't be great. AG1 is the healthy route to waking up. You just pour that delicious AG1 green powder

in a glass of cold water. People do it different ways, this is how I do it. I'm sure there's better ways to do it. Maybe put a lime in it or something, I don't know. But I just get cold water and dump this stuff in, slurp it back, and boom! I just feel better. My gut biome, you can almost hear it singing in joy.

Like, thank you, thank you, our prayers worked. Ritual sacrifices manifested a rain of green. That's what I imagine they say. I don't know if your gut biome talks. I would be horrible, honestly. Thank God our gut microbiome doesn't talk. That would be so annoying if you had to listen all day long to your fucking intestinal creatures talking to you

to probably be really annoyed a lot of the time. If there's one product I trust to support my whole body health, it's AG1. And that's why I've partnered with them for so long. It's easy and satisfying to start your journey with AG1 and that's why I've partnered with them for so long. It's easy and satisfying to start your journey with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com forward slash dunkin that's I'm Ford slash Duncan. Check it out. ["Dunkin'"] But you know what I don't like about this,

and I could be wrong, I think you have to be online to fuck this thing. I'll say I don't like about this, and I could be wrong, I think you have to be online to fuck this thing. I'll say I don't like that. I don't want every time I fuck it recorded in some- Everybody wants your fucking data now. Yeah. 7-Eleven wants you to have a membership. A membership!

What? Yeah, anytime you go to 7-Eleven, they'll go, do you have a phone number with us? No! I would never leave you my phone number. No. You are the dirty, ugly hooker of convenience stores. I come in here because it's convenient.

I don't want y'all to have my information. Who are they selling it to? I guarantee you, if you first log into that, it's gonna be like, you know, do you mind? You're gonna have to sign a privacy thing. You mind if we share? We just need to know. Can we share your data so we could do

like a better service for you? Right. Dude, I mean, and they're selling that shit for sure. I mean, like if you give your data to AutoBlow AI, you're out of your fucking mind. You have to have an AutoBlow account for it to work. I bet you. I'm pretty sure.

And that's the part. And also, I mean, obviously the hacking potential, like if you're online and some psycho fucking hacker figured out a way to blow those things up while people are fucking them, I mean, obviously the hacking potential. Like if you're online and some psycho fucking hacker figured out a way to blow those things up while people are fucking them, just blow your dick off. Like the danger.

I mean, but I don't think hackers are, I don't think they starting with these kinds of devices. They got that kind of power. Well, look, remember, okay. Do you remember that the movie that came out based on the Stephen King story, I think it was called Maximum Overdrive. Remember that? Oh, right, right, right.

So all the machines came to life, right? So the AI, one AI danger is like, yeah, probably a human couldn't like hack, auto-blow AI, but like, what are we gonna do when AI gets out of the box and can like maybe possess anything that's connected to the internet? So suddenly your auto-bl blow turns into like a machine of death, your orchestration.

You know, that's why you gotta be careful. You gotta just go old school, you know, use a person or your hand. Like you just go, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. No, stop, stop! Jesus Christ! It just keeps on sucking your hand. They find all these withered mummified people, incels like Cicada, shells just curled up.

You just find people jerky attached to automatic blowjob machines. Man, but this is our future. Like- Is that the app? Auto Blow app, voice control library. Wow. Wow, app, voice control library. Wow. Wow, freestyle. I am definitely not gonna buy one of those.

I think you're gonna buy one. I'm definitely not gonna see what this is about. No, full disclosure, I remember at, I think they were sending him these things to see if he would do ads. All I know is how sponsors are like sending him these things to see if he would like do ads. All I know is like, you know, like how sponsors are always sending him shit. So like there was an auto blow box out there

and I really was gonna take one and I was reading the box and it's like, I'm not logging on to Jerkoff. Like, I mean, in the sense that it knows, I need to, I guess we all kind of log on to Jerkoff. And also like it knows what video I'm watching. And it knows what I like, what patterns I like. Oh man. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that.

So that to me, but maybe there's a way to like, do it offline, I don't know. So Cindy reminders, you haven't jerked off in several weeks, don't you? All right. All right. Ha ha ha. Cool, that would be cool if they could figure

how many calories you're, like if they could put it in your Apple watch Oh, man. Yeah, I mean, you know the truth though. They know anyway One of those companies knows everything about you between Apple and Google. Oh, they know everything. It's nothing they don't know. They know everything Yeah, that's I just Started watching that Ashley Madison documentary. Mm-hmm. Have you seen it? No. So you remember it got hacked though, right? I remember it got hacked, yeah. Yeah, and so all of these people's lives were destroyed

because they were so insane. Yeah, so if y'all don't know, Ashley Madison was a dating website for cheating people. I think it still is. Can we pull up Ashley Madison? Does this still exist? It was a website where like you could have an affair. You think it still is. It doesn't, can we pull up Ashley Madison? Does this still exist? It was a website where like you could have an affair. You could have an affair and-

And they had mind-blowingly lack security. And their commercials were like designed to be incendiary. They understood, oh yeah, it's still there. Oh, verifying our connection. Yeah, so you can still do it. And if you do do it, knowing they already got hacked once, you're out of your fucking mind. Like in anything that happens to you, you deserve,

but it's amazing that that couldn't stop the company. And I didn't finish the documentary, but to me, the wild thing was the idea of like going on a website to cheat, knowing like, just like my wife could get into anything I do, anything. Just, and even if I did find a way to like not put it on a machine that she had access to, she would know.

Well, but you know what's wild to me, the wildest thing about this is that you can cheat on any dating website. So for you to go to a website specifically for cheaters. Okay, but this is in the documentary, here's the pitch. This is just like, it's a married person, right? And the married person, they don't wanna get caught and you don't wanna get caught. And they don't want a relationship, and you don't wanna get caught.

And they don't want a relationship, they just wanna fuck someone new. So both of you have a kind of like a reason to keep it secret, you know what I mean? Versus where like if like the maniac married people who like take up with like single people, that's date line. So, but how do you prove that you're a married person? No idea how you prove that.

Easily you could fake it. And I think one part of Ashley Madison, or what I always assumed it was, was it's prostitutes, right? The idea would be like, just if I'm a sex worker, whoa, for sure I'm gonna set up my profile on Ashley Madison because some horny married dude is gonna come fuck me for money. But what was shocking about the doc is like, actually it's a shit ton of like just married women

who want to fool around. And they're too lazy to go like out in the world and do it. So they just went online and you know, basically, the founder of it though, what I was impressed about, though I disagree with him, like he was saying infidelity leads to happier marriages. And I can't agree with, I can see the logic behind that. But to me, like the problem with it,

you know, and I think they talked about the documentary, is it's like, yeah, the infidelity is fucked, but the real problem is the gaslighting that goes along with infidelity. The person who's with you is gaslighting you, especially if you get some weird sense, like, where were you? And they're like, I was 7-Eleven. I had to carwash, whatever it was.

I just, oh, I stayed at Lisa's house. It's like, now you're like gaslighting me into believing in alternate reality. You're forcing me to like trust you, meaning I live in a distortion. That's the fucked up part. But I will say this, some people get married and they stop dating you.

You know what I mean? It's a phase for sure. Like you just around. And so it's almost like, Like you just around. And so it's almost like, I think it can help a bad relationship. In other words, if you are unfulfilled and you're in one of those relationships

with like toxic communication where the other person's like, you should just communicate, but then they make communicating with them impossible, right? Instead of you building the silent resentment from not having your needs met, you go get your needs met. So it's a bandaid on a problem, but is that better than just getting divorced?

I don't know. Well, you know, there's a, listen, everyone's living their own life. I don't want anyone involved in some kind of fucking affair right now to feel like I'm shitty or whatever, because they probably already do. Or some people feel like, hey, you know what, I look at my wife as like this precious thing. They're like, I don't want to do certain things too. And then, but this girl lets me, you know, fuck her while her face is in a bucket of water

until she almost drowns. And I would never do that to the mother of my children. Right. And you're not into that, but like, I need that. I mean, I think I have a pretty naive feeling about it, but a lot of people would judge me for it, which is like, if you're gonna do monogamy, do monogamy. If you wanna do polyamory, do polyamory,

but don't do polyamory while the other person thinks they're doing monogamy, because that's just not fucking fair. But what if that's what you wanna do? Well, in that case, I think you have to really understand that you are inviting the world to lie to you forever, because you think it's okay to grift and con. And so if you think it's okay to grift and con,

then that means you have invited all grifting con artists into your world. And if you get tricked in any kind of way that involves deception and gaslighting, you have to be, that's okay, I got tricked. Okay, here's my tiny pushback on that. Please pushback. I think that some people place an overemphasis on monogamy

as the measuring stick for how well you're participating in the relationship. In other words, I know people that are with people measuring stick for how well you're participating in the relationship. In other words, I know people that are with people that are like, you know, not supportive, emotionally abusive, brow beating them, putting them there. Like just the worst partner. And then the moment they cheat, they act like all that shit they did don't count.

Right. You know what I'm saying? Where it's like, no, you're the most, like the person that cheated isn't necessarily the most terrible partner, right? It's like, I agree with you, like if you're gonna do monogamy, be monogamous. That should be your goal to be honest with your partner. But at the same time, it's like,

sometimes it's like you're creating an environment with your partner where they can't leave you and they also can't get what they want. Well, I think, and again, this is, I'm fully open to all like alternate views on this and there's so many, but I think if you're having relationship problems with your wife, going to fuck someone else

as some kind of remedy for those relationship problems is like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer when you have a headache. You're doubling the complexity in your own life. You're adding a whole new layer of complexity to your life. And to me, that's a false exit. You can just get her, you can get her falsely arrested for drug trafficking and then while she's in prison,

you move another woman into. So many things you could do, like, or just buy a, like go on vacation before you leave, like say, I'm giving you this fucking pit bull. Right. Or you could purchase for only $300, the auto blow. And that is gonna be real fun

when you're brow beating monstrous, demonic fucking wipes. Like, oh, so this is why you're not fucking me. Cause now you have the fucking auto blow. And that is gonna be real fun when you're brow beating monstrous, demonic fucking wipes. Like, oh, so this is why you're not fucking me. Because now you have the fucking auto blow and this is what you fucking do, you piece of shit. That's all, just kidding. The reality is, hey, Dante's Inferno, you wanna get out of hell,

you gotta go straight to the fucking core. And that's how you get out of hell. If you're in that kind of situation, like, and you want to hang out on one of the planes of suffering, you know. That was always a weird one to me. When I find out that there's couples where like, they're not like, he's not allowed to watch porn or.

Oh, that's wild. Or he's not allowed to watch to like, like a picture on Instagram. Dude, that's deep, deep mind control. That's so deep. When you were letting someone mind control you that much. Cause then what you're on the precipice of there, by mind control. That's so deep when you are letting someone mind control you that much. Because then what you're on the precipice of there, by the way. What, you have fantasies?

Oh, it's nuts. But if you're going to that level, and I think at that point, it's a fetish. Even if you don't want to admit it, you are now in a BDSM relationship. So at that point, what you need to do is let her put one of those cages on your dick. Because it's like, you let her be fully... Like a chastity thing? Yeah, a chastity thing on you. Because she's already doing it mentally.

It's a mental chastity thing, which is, I will be the one who makes you come in this world. No one else. It will be me. Now, that's pure BDSM. And maybe what makes it even kinkier is you're like, this is just what marriage is like. I mean, are we talking about like a minimum amount of homes? Because like, if we set in standards.

If you are having your like masturbation regulated by a woman. Right. That is a dominatrix now. That is not your wife. That is a dominatrix. And that's hot. Because I've never heard of, I've never heard of a dude, I'm sure they're out there,

but I've never heard of a dude with this kind of problem. Like a straight man. Oh no. That's like, babe, you fucking, you fucking, you flicked your bean yesterday. Oh, oh, I see your vibrators on the bed. Right, you doing it again today? Hmm, that's interesting.

I mean, dudes are insecure about, like some dudes are insecure with like, like they won't introduce toys and stuff because it makes them feel insecure. You know what I mean? Dude, that is so funny. It's wild to me. Cause I'm like, I'm going to the store with you.

Yeah, well, yeah. It's fucking awesome. Like whatever the thing is, any- I'm reading all the instructions. I'm learning all the modes. Well, well, yeah. It's fucking awesome. Like whatever the thing is, any. I'm reading all the instructions. I'm learning all the modes. Well, we would be considered freaks by a lot of people's standards, man. I mean, maybe in the 90s.

Yeah, I know. I've heard people are really freaky again. Cause I tell you, I'll put it to you like this. Everywhere people be talking like that, there's a thriving adult business, adult like store that I ain't never seen one of those go out of business. No.

No. They weren't in by the 50s. Yeah, you could be in the most rural area with the Bible belt and it's a fucking store that sells dildos and that motherfucker been open for 40 years. I'm sorry. So I ain't trying to hear all that shit from people

that's like, because people would love to call you a pervert. No, the truth is, listen, if what you're doing isn't harming people, a pervert is just somebody that knows exactly what makes them come, and you're jealous. Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, the moment you participate in a person's fetish via some puritanical judgment,

you are now into BDSM. Exactly. It's just another form. Like, yeah, are you whipping them or anything? No, but you're whipping them with your mind. You're like, you naughty, naughty boy. Bad, bad, bad. You've made mommy angry.

Well, you know what's funny? This conversation started about mindfulness and the Buddha and all that shit. And that is what makes it a great podcast with you, man. Thank you so much for doing this, man. You are the best. It's always good to see you, man. You're so smart.

I hope you'll come back on, man. That was awesome. And I hope you started gaming. Have you started streaming? Next month. My studio's done. People, you should be doing reviews. You should be doing like, people would love it, man.

Like your take on it is really good too. Like a lot of comics get into that stuff because they think they're going to get downloads, but you are a gamer. Oh, all right. You know what I mean? Like you actually have something to offer in your reviews. Because that review of Warhammer, that could really,

I mean, it can't be that hard to do an update where people can skip the cut scenes. Like, it can't be that hard. Yeah, I should be able to skip every single fucking, every single dialogue thing in the game. What if they offered it as something you could buy? Like a dollar, would you pay? They would lose half the fan base.

I know, but would you pay? No, I would stop playing the game. Yeah, that would piss me off too. Like, you know, you don't get to charge me full price for a game. What if it's a quest in the game? Like you win the quest and you can skip the cut scenes. That'd be a funny quest too, with a lot of cut scenes.

That's like paying for monogamy. Yeah, man. Yeah, exactly, yes. It's like, I'll give you a dollar if you don't cheat. It's like, well, you shouldn't be, like, I won't cheat on you if you give me a dollar. You know, it's like, you shouldn't be cheating on me anyway. Right? That's so sad. Right. It's like, no, do what you're supposed to. You don't get paid for the minimum.

Skip those cut scenes. Do it. Please. Help my friend here. If you make them skippable, I really will start crying. Relic. I didn't finish this. Yeah. Thanks, man help my friend here. If you make them skippable, I really will start. Relic. I didn't finish this. Yeah, thanks man, I appreciate it. Hell, but wait. What? I'll do it up front.

What can I plug for you? Life and Mothership. It's my Netflix show. Yeah, yeah. And then my podcast is BS with Brian Simpson. Okay, great. And my, and when does this come out? This week.

Okay, so I'll be in Madison, Wisconsin this weekend. Comedy on state, best green room in the business. Yep, and I'll be in Philadelphia the next weekend. Okay, great. And then October 11th and 12th, I'm at the Wilbur Theater in Boston and the Bell House in New York City. Beautiful. Brian, I love you.

Thank you. Thank you, really. Later. Hey, I'm Jillian Thank you. Thank you. Later. Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching.

We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the hatchet-wielding hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpent 13. Yes. The amazing sisters who basically tell the story, the girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends, we're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're true crime obsessed podcasts,

switch to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. That was Brian Simpson, everybody. A tremendous thank you to our wonderful sponsors. Thank you for watching. I'll see you soon. Bye. Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast true crime obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine.

We're talking the hatchet-wielding hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes. With the amazing sisters who basically tell the story, the girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends, we're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with.

Yeah. We're true crime obsessed podcasts. Stitch with us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.