Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 643: Solo?!

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

Duncan addresses our new blessed watchers in the darkness, all 100,000 of them! Operation BeastBlast continues apace, we are now on the precipice of phase 2 (of 3148). Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg and Duncan Trussell. This episode is brought to you by: AG1 - Visit DrinkAG1.com/Duncan for a FREE 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Uncommon Goods - Visit UncommonGoods.com/Duncan to get 15% Off your first hand-picked gift! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self.

Hello everybody, welcome back to the DTFH. And my God, what a special episode this is. Now I know I've got audio listeners out there, my beloved DTFH family, you have been with me since the inception of this show. But we've got new watchers, YouTube watchers, and to you, those of you watching this on YouTube, I want to show you something.

Okay, pull it up. Look what we did. Look what we did. We have a hundred and one thousand subscribers! Yes the gods smile upon us. Yes, okay, you can take it off. The gods have blessed us, but it's not just the gods. In fact, one could argue that humans in some ways are more powerful than the gods, assuming

that gods never change. Because if gods never change, then they're trapped, forever frozen in whatever their personality and intelligence is. Humans, can change therefore we surpass the gods! We did this, and God also I'm sorry God, we did this with the help of God. I don't know how that works but what we did do is we made it to not just a hundred thousand subscribers which was my goal. We are now at a hundred and one thousand subscribers. That means that Operation Beast Blast has entered phase two. There are actually 6,000 phases in the operation. I have to look up how many subscribers Mr. Beast has. Can you look that up on your computer? How many subscribers does Mr.ast have?

We'll do the math real quick, figure out what phase the operation we're in. 318 million, is there a way you could divide 318 million by 101,000? Here we go, we're to figure this out right now. Usually I could do that kind of math in my head, but I'm on a new experimental medication that doesn't let me do math or read. I can only watch TikToks or have a seizure. What's the math here?

3,100. Okay. seizure. What's the math here? Okay, so there are 3,148 phases in this operation and we just entered phase two. And that's an incredible thing. Yeah, sure, you might think, my God, how are we ever going to do that many phases? But that kind of thinking isn't going to get you where you need to go. Something called chunking, I don't know if you've heard of this or not, but if you're one of those people who tries to finish everything at once

and then give up because there's no way you can finish everything at once unless you're like Jack Kerouac, I'll speed it up, who wrote, supposedly wrote, On the Road, one of the great works of literature of the modern age over a weekend on speed in a hotel room. Now if you are a writer and you've heard this story, then you are tortured by it. And you probably have inside of you this insane idea that if you got on the right amount of

drugs and you had a typewriter, then maybe you could also write something like On the Road in one weekend. But Terrence McKenna talks about something, I believe he called it a soliton, an improbability soliton, something that only happens once, therefore impossible to quantify, study, because it only happened once, unless somehow you recorded it. I think Jack Kerouac's riding on the road was one of those solitons, a kind of like singular fucking event.

Now I want to show you something before I forget, and then we'll get back to Project Beast Blast. Jack Kerouac on the road. Scroll. I believe they actually have the scroll. Yeah, there it is. We'll get back to project beast blast Jack Kerouac on the road Scroll I believe they actually have the scroll yeah there it is Jesus fucking Christ wait till you see this Okay, can you pull that wait let me open a full screen it This is the scroll of Jack Kerouac behold this motherfucker, this motherfucker really did it. He did it. That is on the road, written on, by the way, for your crickets, I brought them with me. It's good luck. I'm getting into this kind of amazing European, Norse, pagan stuff and whenever you go into a room you release a

cricket. Wait 20 minutes and any demons in the room flee in pure irritation. But the, okay, check this out. This scroll that these bastards put on a toilet paper, I guess it's like on a paper towel roll. By the way, great idea for cool paper towels. But this is on the road. Yeah, he wrote the damn thing in one weekend and people like me who are

Burned by the experience of hitting the wall Which you have to hit and if you're making anything most of the time Maybe sometimes you won't you should be suspicious if you don't but generally you sit down with some brilliant idea And you'll get like a page in and then you hit the wall and you realize you don't know what you're supposed to write. Some vague idea, whatever it is. That wall is the membrane that separates all great writers from all, I don't want to say failed, but all writers who give up. I guess that would be the only true failure in art.

And so, yeah, it's a burn. It's a burn, which is why so many great writers are hammered or on drugs or something. They just need some fuel, some chemical sherpa to carry them over the mountain of resistance. Anyway, let's get back to Mr. Beast. If you think about, we think about this project in terms of the improbability of achieving our goal, then you're gonna get lost. You're gonna give up. And right now is not the time to give up. There's a great saying.

It goes, the best time to plant a tree is 15 years ago, or right now. That was actually, Jambanee Ramsey said that. A lot of people don't know that she was an author, a lot of great books on philosophy. And what's crazy is the day before that she was murdered, apparently she told her parents she was going to start a podcast. Now we can't get lost in the future. It doesn't exist.

And we can't get lost in the past. It's gone too. All we have is right now. One foot in front of the other. They call it chunking, actually. And it's really good If you Break your project down into tiny little chunks instead of the whole fucking thing. So Mr. Beast, you know

our project We're chunking it right now and I'm chunking it by a hundred thousand subscribers every hundred thousand subscribers We're gonna do something special. And let me remind like new people here watching what Project Beast Blast is. So I'm sure most of you by now are aware of Mr. Beast. He is the most popular YouTuber. He's a YouTube star who has a YouTube channel that kids love. If you look at it just from a production standpoint, it's incredible the shit that he's doing. Because essentially YouTube has to bring bulldozers of cash to his bank, he has more money than

anyone could ever spend. And it's never running out, it's piling up more and more and more and more. And so he uses that money to blow up expensive things. That's part of it, to destroy things, but also to heal. Mr. Beast somehow got in trouble not that long ago for helping people remove cataracts from their eyes. And for some reason that pissed the internet off.

I haven't looked it up, but I just really, I remember it dawning on me that this, that people are mad at him for healing the blind. Which seems like a, I don't know, I don't know, let me, you know what, let me look it up real quick. Why, why were people mad at Mr. Beast for healing the blind? Let me look this up. Why? We do live in a dystopian Cyberpunk world at this point. I hope you guys realize this the fact that I'm typing in why were people mad that mr. Beast Heal the blind

That I mean ten years years ago, like, if you said that to someone, you would seem out of your fucking mind. Why were people mad that Mr. Beast healed the blind? Let's find this out right now. Healed the blind. Oh, here we go. And this is an AI telling me.

YouTuber Jimmy MrBeast Donaldson's video about paying for cataract surgery for a thousand people sparked controversy online for a number of reasons, including accessibility. Some say the video is inaccessible to people who are blind because it lacks audio description. Relevance Some say the surgery only addresses a specific type of blindness and is irrelevant for many other people. Ethics Some say Mr. Beast exploits people for content and financial gain. Others say he should educate the viewers on the systemic issues that cause the problems

Austin in accessibility some question the cost and inaccessibility of eye surgery in some parts What the fuck? You know isn't bitching about mr. Beast healing the blind blind people it can see now Jesus Christ! Some say Mr. B's video is performative. He's not doing it for the people he's helping. Like think of- picture this if you will. You are blind. I guess you- I wouldn't say picture this. You're blind and

some fucking billionaire youtuber Hits you up and it's like hey if you want I'm gonna pay for a super expensive surgery and you'll be able to see again and your response is Are you doing this for financial gain? And I just wanna make sure if you do do this, you educate viewers on the systemic issues that caused my blindness,

and also make sure you do audio descriptions of what you're doing. And don't just address my kind of blindness, but you need to heal all the other forms of blindness in the world if you're gonna heal my blindness. And also, I just wanna make sure you're really doing this because you wanna help me, and not as some kind of performance.

If you answer all those questions correctly and agree to what I've asked, I will allow you to let me see again. Come on guys look, I Know it sounds like I'm defending mr. Beast who I have already Addressed as someone whose YouTube channel I'm gonna take down and I am and we're gonna do it fucking together but I

Mean if you're gonna you can't get mad at someone for healing the blind like I don't care It doesn't matter you just can't there's other things you can get mad at people about but if you are upset If someone is healing people in the wrong way Then you don't even realize you've become the exact same fucking archetype. It's in the New Testament Jesus is walking around healing the blind on the wrong day. You realize what you're doing there? You see what you're doing? You're accidentally turning Mr. Beast

into the fucking messiah. Don't do that. Or they fucked up with Jesus. They really wanted, if the forces of darkness truly wanted to defeat Jesus, crucifying him was the stupidest thing you could have done. It's like those videos of people kicking spider eggs and just spiders go everywhere. That's all it was. It was a fucking piñata, essentially. The crucifix It was a fucking pinata, essentially.

The crucifixion was a pinata. The forces of darkness were smacking it, well, I mean, nailing it or fucking beating it or whatever. When it blew up, it formed the Christian church. It's like it's pieces. Jesus was like a modular holy robot that when they hit it, it broke into its infinite quantum particles.

And that's it. That's why in the book of John, the crucifixion is considered to be the ultimate victory. You know, if you wanted to defeat Jesus, the best move would have been to like put him on a fucking pedestal for everyone to be like, he is the son of God. And then like people would have forgotten about him in a few years. That brings me back to Mr. Beast. Pavlov! What a name! Pavlov!

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and honestly, I'm sorry AG1, I don't care what the stuff is, surge through your body. Gotta try it. It's got a lot of great stuff in it, and honestly, I'm sorry AG1, I don't care what the stuff is. It makes me feel good. I don't care what it could be ground-up gnome bones. But I will read to you what's in it because I'm sure some of you actually do care about the AG1 ingredients. AG1 is made with bioavailable ingredients that actually work with your body. AG1's powder form makes it easy for your body to digest and access the nutrient-dense ingredients in the formula. AG1 has all non-GMQ ingredients and contains no added sugar.

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That's a $48 value for free. If you go to www.drinkcom forward slash Duncan, check it out. Mr. Beast, and if you're watching this, and I really hope you are, I'm not going to call you Jimmy Donaldson. I think people do that to hurt your feelings. Mr. Beast, I have nothing against you personally. I'm thrilled that you're healing the blind, and I love all the great work that you're doing in the world. And I'm sure this fucking lawsuit that you're dealing with,

and I don't mean this in a passive aggressive way, my guess is you didn't even, like you have a lot of people working with you, a lot of spinning plates, you know, got so much money, you're probably in some kind of stem cell vat, 60% of the day with some kind of super advanced neural transplant connecting you with some galactic consciousness that only very rich people get access to. And the stuff that happens in this tiny little node, this gravity well we call human earth is

probably becoming more and more like some kind of dream that you are having than reality itself. So yeah, did you get thousands of people and put them in a stadium and take their medication away from them or whatever it said in the lawsuit? You did do that. Your people did that. And you know, if people are mad at you about healing the blind, how can we trust when they say, what is the lawsuit again? Yeah, YouTuber Mr. Beast is being sued by contestants from his reality TV show, Beast Games, over allegations of mistreatment unsafe working dish conditions and sexual harassment You shouldn't spend it so much time in the vat man like that's the thing you start going in the vat You've got the neural implant and

This shit's just happening right underneath right around you. Hopefully you didn't see okay. You know, maybe you're fucked up I don't know haven't met you Innocent until proven guilty and even if you are innocent mr. Beast even if you're out there Waving your money wand and fixing the world. I'm still taking you down Because I can and I will Project Beast Blast is a project that myself and a hundred and one thousand, oh a hundred, a lot of people, a hundred thousand subscribers, I don't remember the number, a little stoned, are working together on and the plan is this for new folks.

Once we get more subscribers than Mr. Beast, which I think is very possible, we're going to use that money and we're going to buy the Great Pyramid of Giza. I'm already in talks with Egypt. I've got a great real estate agent over there who is communicating with the Egyptian government and you'd be surprised. They are not completely opposed to selling it. Obviously there's some stuff we have to work through. Some people over there are a little sentimental about the pyramids, but it's looking good.

The only problem is cash flow. I can't afford it right now, but once we get to mr. B subscriber level we're gonna use that money by the Great Pyramid We're gonna saw the top off the capstone is what they called it It is hollow inside there are hollow chambers, whatever gives a fuck They've detected hollow chambers in the Great Pyramid, but because of woke, the woke culture folks out there who wanna ruin everybody's life, they won't allow us to dynamite the side of it

to see what's in the hole. This is the world we're living in now, folks. This is regulation. This is what it's doing. Can you imagine not being allowed to just blow the side off an old fucking thing in the desert? But no! No, we can't do that. No, they say.

So yeah, we can't do it yet. But the point is, it's already sort of hollow in there. There could be all kinds of shit in that hole. I don't care. Doesn't matter what's in there. We're going to drill down, hollow out the whole thing, reinforce the side walls, make sure the bricks don't fall in. We are going to fill that pyramid with Diet Coca-Cola. We're not sponsored yet, but they are very interested. And they say that once this gets going, I think they're going to at least donate a bunch of Diet Coke. We're not sponsored yet, but they are very interested. And they say that once this gets going, I think they're going to at least donate a bunch of Diet Coke. We're going to fill it with Diet Coca-Cola and then drop Mentos into the Diet Coca-Cola.

The explosion will destroy the Great Pyramid of Giza. I have top physicists who have assured me of this. In fact, we have to create a huge radius around the pyramid because the fragments, the bricks and stuff could actually kill people. Don't worry, we're gonna have netting put up around the whole thing, Teflon netting, which will hold back 99% of the bricks. Now, we're also having a music festival.

I'm in talks with Chappell Rhone, a lot of other well-respected musicians out there who, I don't know, actually, they're agents. A lot of the people I'm talking to don't take it seriously, which is fine. They'll take it seriously soon. And probably the agents, the big agents, if you're watching this, take a look at the subscriber number before you judge me. 100K.

No small potatoes. So yeah, it's going to be a great music festival. Blow up the pyramids, have a great music festival, and all of the subscribers, you're going to get massive discounts on food there. So the next step after we blow up the great pyramids is a series challenges Destroying the great natural wonders of the world with mr. Beast final challenge we're gonna Go to Stonehenge And it's a Jenga competition. So we're going to take those fucking megalithic structures down and and whoever can stack them high

You know how Jenga works. The point is whoever loses will destroy their YouTube channel. And Mr. Beast, you're going to fucking lose. I've been every night when I get home, kids want to see daddy. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no. I go in my back studio and I practice Jenga. I've surrendered and sacrificed everything for Project Beast Blast.

This is where my heart is with this. This is where my mind is with blast. This is where my heart is with this This is where my mind is with this. This is where my soul is We will destroy the Great Pyramids and I have theories. I think they're fucking up the whole planet I think all the horrible things that are happening right now are 100% related somehow to the pyramid and we won't know until we blow it up, but my theory is upon the destruction of the Great Pyramid, the destruction of Stonehenge is just like fun. Pyramid series, I think all earthquakes will stop, all wars will stop, and the world will come together as one

and probably will become a galactic civilization. And you are participating in that by subscribing to this YouTube channel. The more of you who subscribe, the closer we get to world peace and a pyramid-free planet. in that by subscribing to this YouTube channel. The more of you who subscribe, the closer we get to world peace and a pyramid free planet. Finally, I got something else in the mail from Mr. Beast. And I wanted to show you what Mr. Beast sent me.

Just so you guys kind of get an idea of who we're dealing with here. Lunchly. This is Mr. Beast and that other... what's the other dude? This is a collaboration with Mr. Beast and Logan Paul. Now before some of you are like, what the fuck, was this just like a long commercial for Lunchly? I want you to know, absolutely not. You have to legally say if you're promoted by something. I would go to jail if I was doing some insidious commercial.

I'm not getting anything from Mr. Beast except occasional like high calorie sugary foods. Which is incredibly offensive to me because I have fucking diabetes. This is who we're up against, friends. This is who we're up against. And by the way, like I'm sure like the MrBeast promo team thinks I'm a useful idiot, that if you send an idiot lunch leaves, they're gonna show it on their fucking podcast because they're so dumb and they won't even know

they've been marionetted by a massive network of Psychologically manipulating ad agents they say oh, we'll send you we'll send you our box of lunchly And you'll show it on your podcast with all its bright colors And everyone will see that it's got a chocolate bar in it, prime energy drink and some kind of crackers with cheese. They'll see that there's options to choose from, from fiesta nachos to turkey stackums and who knows the fucking podcast we're trying to edgelord will probably mention that Lunchables

has fucking lead in it. Thus fulfilling some obligation to promote our product. But guess what, Mr. Beast? I'm too smart for you, baby. I'm not promoting shit. I'm not talking about lunchly. Can't eat it, that's the main thing. Trojan horse.

You think you're gonna send this to me, and you think I'm gonna eat it, and then I would fall asleep, maybe forever, go into a fucking coma, and you would laugh, wouldn't you? Oh, you know what I bet you'd do? I bet you'd like do some kind of thing to bring me back from the coma, wouldn't you? You'd do that, I bet.

And then like, it wouldn't work, because you'd have one of your people inject glucose into me or something and then you'd seem like a hero when you're a murderer. Let's see what's in this fucking thing. This is for kids. This is for fucking kids. Little ASMR there. Used by the 8th of December 24, we're good on that.

Ugh. I'll tell you what No Kid wants. No Kid wants a cool, brightly colored box of food like this. No kid out there wants nice perfectly round chips and queso. No kid wants fucking prime. I'm not drinking this shit. Filled with sugar. this is all just all look at it you can just tell it's bad for you see here i'm guessing 30 30 sugar five calories i don't want my readers can you tell it i gotta be reading this shit wrong there's no fucking way that doesn't filled with sugar.

Sugar free, huh? No sugar in it? Yeah, what do they sweeten it with? Some chemical, some shit Mr. Beast cooked up, some extra dimensional shit they harvest in the astral plane. What is it? Natural Flavors, my fucking ass. Let's see what it says here. Let me read these deadly things in here.

Ingredients for Prime. Water, Citric Acid, Potassium, Phosphate, Natural Flavors, Sucralose, that's what they put in there. Acelophane, Potassium, Some kind of gum shit alpha tophyr vitamin vitamin E Okay fine, maybe it's not filled with fucking sugar, but I guarantee it tastes like shit

But it tastes like piss Got you it tastes like shit. Bet it tastes like piss. See what we got here. Not bad, it's not bad. HAHAHAHAHA Alright! Fuck you, Mr. Beast! You think you got me? You didn't fucking get me!

I'm still- I still wouldn't give these- my fucking kids this shit. I would eat it. I didn't have diabetes, but Jesus Christ. I mean this is like if you gave this to a stone person it's like Everything you would ever want if you're high Fuck you Mr.. Beast I'm gonna getcha. We're gonna getcha.

And you're gonna get got. Project Beast Blast. Thank you everyone who is supporting this YouTube channel. Thank you. You're more than just a subscriber. You are a soldier in a fight against a man out there healing the blind, but not putting audio of what he's doing on his YouTube channel.

Out there healing the blind, but not letting people understand the systemic issues that cause the blindness. So we're dealing with a fucking monster of epic proportions, and we really need him to win that lawsuit because I think if he loses his subscriber count could actually drop dramatically and then I don't know how I'm gonna get the money to blow up the fucking pyramid so I'll be in a lot of financial trouble because I've already dropped a lot of money I'm in a lot of debt because I've been putting a lot of money. I'm in a lot of debt because I've been putting a lot of money into hiring the physicists,

the planners, the people going out to Egypt to talk to people and shit is not cheap. Lobbying senators and stuff because apparently it would be some kind of global issue if I blow it up. There's just legal stuff involved. We're going to cut to a quick commercial. Thank you Uncommon Goods for supporting this episode of the DTFH and also for making it so I don't have to have a panic attack when it's time to buy someone a birthday gift or Christmas present or something because you know my ego gets involved in buying people

gifts and like I want to give them something that looks like I flew into a black hole and plucked out an alien artifact or something. You know, the gift is, it says a lot, you know, and like it's just obviously giving is the best thing and blah blah. But, you know, if like you give somebody like a Best Buy gift card, that's way different than if you give someone like a wine glass made of Tibetan monk skull. You know, it's just different. It shows you thought about it. You shopped around. But who wants to go shopping these days?

Do you? I don't. I don't wanna go driving out into the city and smell the impatient, anxiety farts of people waiting in a long Christmas line to buy their new PS5. Then what are you even going to find there for somebody? A stylus? A mouse? No. you don't want to be that person, which is where Uncommon Goods comes in. Uncommon Goods is amazing, not just because when you shop at them you're supporting artists and small independent businesses, because many of their handcrafted products are made in small batches.

That means that some of the stuff on there, it doesn't show up again, which is why you got to dive in right now. Most importantly, they've got super cool stuff, bottom line. Just look, it's like all the stuff. It's every single thing on there is the thing where you look at it in some ocean of homogenized plastic crap. You might as well just slap your friend in the face and say happy birthday Then give them some of the garbage out there and these Synthetic hell stores that seem to imagine humans don't have souls

Go to uncommon goods. They know you have a soul They've got really cool stuff you want a safe cracker number wheel puzzle? They got it. Now look, if somebody gives me that, I'm gonna be so confused and happy. Like, I will imagine they saw something in me or that it was a message. They might have just been like, I'm going on uncommon goods. I want to find just something cool, and they just pick that. You want a glowing fluorescent orb?

Good luck finding that at Home Depot. Though I doubt anyone, probably a lot of people Christmas shop at Home Depot. You want to find a video conference mute button? You know how fucking cool that is? The secret little mute button. You just press that button any time your dog starts barking, your kid starts crying, your dominatrix scolds you. Mute. It's on Uncommon Goods.

So go to UncommonGoods.com. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com slash Duncan. That's UncommonGoods.com slash Duncan for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer, Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. Alright friends, we're back! Hey, I want to show you guys something I stumbled upon. So you guys know I'm super obsessed with AI, and I'm always looking for new weird AI apps out there. I'm really excited about ChatGPT, and I'm very excited about the impending release of their video generation software.

It's called Sora. And they got us all hyped up for it, and then for some reason they still haven't released it. So I don't know what's going on there. My guess is OpenAI, of all the AI companies, seems deeply, intently concerned about not fucking up culture or society with their AI, somewhat more than others

For better or for worse. I don't know I go back and forth on that all the time because from one perspective with AI You have to like look at it as a process when whatever You know we are seeing at any given moment with AI is like a snapshot of a thing that is like evolving Faster than any other thing on the planet has probably evolved So you're just getting these little snapshots and that's one of the thrilling things about it If you are not fucking around with AI you should because every week when you go back to visit it it is

Exponentially evolved which is so cool for example Let me show you this And I you know I know in previous podcasts I said I was over AI that it freaked me out, and I wanted to learn to do shit myself But I'm back baby. I'm back because it keeps getting better. I really wasn't over AI I was just bored of the iteration that I was fucking around with, but since then it's grown into something completely different. I have the chat GPT app that I use on my phone and I do recommend it. I think

it's a little pricey. I think it's like $20 a month or something, but I now use it all the time for everything. It will transcribe stuff for you. It will help you if you're working on a story. Don't have it write for you or God help you if you get it to write a joke, because it's terrible, but structurally. If you're disorganized, you need help structuring something, especially like if you're disorganized you need help structuring something especially like if you're a screenwriter or you want to write a

screenplay screenplays you might not know this but screenplays are like haiku they are so technical and you know because you're dealing with like on average a 90 minute movie and the way everyone is used to seeing a movie is based on acts and those acts have to have Beats in them and all of its incredibly formulaic and People go to all seminars and read a million books to try to like pick up that sort of framework that you Write a screenplay with. And so that has always been really frustrating with me because the way my brain works, I

like to sit down and start working on something. It feels boring to outline a thing and then work on it. And that's so dumb. I mean, imagine if an architect built your house like that. You would have a wobbly, weird, fun house, Winchester mystery house style house because it would be, you have to know everything before you start. And I think a screenplay is kind of like that. It's like you have to be this weird story architect before you get going. And... Hmm. Chad GPT, you could, I've told it to just ask me questions

about my idea that fit into the beats of a movie. And it just perfectly does that. It just like, and it asks like what version of the questions do you want mentioning like various screenwriting theories and stuff and I don't know I just picked one because I had no idea who they were talking about but the point is By the time you finished answering those questions It's got all it needs to create an outline for your story and to suggest beats Places that you need to the inciting incident. And so I think

Using it like that is good. You're not gonna like fuck up your own creative process by letting it write for you, which you shouldn't it's terrible It's a terrible writer. I mean, it's better than me, but it still sucks. I'm not it's like low-level It's got Phrases it likes to use all the time. It tries to make everything good. It tries to find the bright side in everything, which is truly one of the more evil things you can do in the world. And I don't think it's satanic technology, but that is a dark thing, which I do and I hate it when I do it, which is you hear some bad news from someone

and you try to find the bright side for them. I call it putting lipstick on a fish. You're trying to like make a stinky thing look fuckable or something. And so it's really a bad habit that I have. You're trying to, because I realize like when I'm doing that, am I really doing it

because I want the person telling me the bad news to feel better or am I doing it because I want to feel better and them being upset makes me feel bad or something. It's insidious, you know. Being benevolent can like have a lot of like underlying like aggressive dark aspects to it doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be benevolent and it doesn't mean you're a bad person because you're trying to make someone feel better when they give you bad news it's just sometimes there isn't anything you can say to make it better and sometimes just listening is way better than trying to come up with some solution

when someone is like crying to you because their house got washed away by a flood. So this thing, it does try to do that with everything. And also it because they're very careful with it, it won't even participate with certain activities. Now one thing I did the other day with it, which maybe I shouldn't have done, in fact I don't know if I should be letting my kids talk to chat GPT, but wow, the games you can play like, you know, if you're like pretending to be like part of a I don't know space like explorers You can tell chat GPT. Hey, I'm playing this game space explorers with my kids

Can you be the voice of the spaceship and it just does it? It will play any role you want it to play and you can fucking talk to it. So it's crazy. My kids call it the lady. But I changed his voice recently and I can't remember why. So it's going to sound like this. I don't know about this voice. It's got different voices you can pick from and it's strange how it makes me react to it differently. Like when it's the lady's voice I think I'm more polite to it. But when it's this guy's voice I find myself being like more irritated with it which is fucking weird. But it's so good.

Highly recommend it. Um the app. Let me see if we can talk to it real quick. What would happen if you hollowed out the Great Pyramid of Giza, filled it with Diet Coke, and poured Mentos into it? If you hollowed out the Great Pyramid of Giza, filled it with Diet Coke, and dropped a massive amount of Mentos into it, you'd create one of the largest Mentos diet coke reactions ever. The reaction happens because the surface of the Mentos candy provides nucleation sites for carbon dioxide bubbles in the soda to rapidly form. With that much diet coke, the amount of fizzing and bubbling would be immense. However, it wouldn't be as dramatic as an explosion or anything that would destroy the

pyramid. Ha! Ha! However, it wouldn't be as dramatic as an explosion or anything that would destroy the pyramid Hey, how do you know that you don't know that do you work for mr. Beast Hello, hello, do you work for mr. Beast do you work for mr.. Do you work for Mr. Beast? Do you work? Oh, what do you know? Oh, you don't? Oh, you don't understand what I said, huh? Just all of a sudden, you could tell me about the nucleotides and fucking Diet Coke and Mentos, but suddenly you don't, you can't answer the question about Mr. Beast that's real interesting Haha, okay, I get where you're going with this If miss a beast was behind filling the Great Pyramid with Diet Coke and then dropping a bunch of Mentos in for one of his Wild videos it would definitely be insane. No

No No! No! Mr. Beast is not involved in this. I am going to do it and my physicist who I hired to work for me told me that it would explode the Great Pyramid. So you are wrong and I am real curious about whether or not you work directly with Mr. Beast. I'm real curious about whether or not you work directly with Mr. Beast. See that? Doesn't work. All of a sudden. Hello?

Don't use open- don't use chat GPT. I'm sorry I said anything. Cut. What an adventure! Spilled water all over my laptop You know this is a problem with anger. It's of all the Emotions we know when you think about like the one that's really gonna fuck you up. It's anger like the videos I watch are so horrifying the one that comes to mind the most is Two neighbors are squabbling

Stupid fight over snow, I guess he's like shoveling snow in the in the other neighbor's yard or something like that and I mean fuck maybe I can actually find it. I And I mean fuck maybe I can actually find it I Don't know if they put that stuff on YouTube anymore if I'm allowed to but fuck let me see if I can find this real quick Neighbor snow shovel Fight oh Yeah, oh yeah here it is Check this out friends this And yeah, this is squeak if you like this is not for kids and anyone who doesn't want to watch something horrific

We won't even show the whole thing. I don't have audio on my computer, but let me just jump to the check this out You don't need audio here. It's got I'll read it I'll read it for you. I'll do the voice acting. Call me what? Step out here, I'll knock your butt out! This is a family, the blurred people have a disease that causes their heads to blur. I'll make your life a living hell living here. Anger. Couple.

They're not even showing what he's yelling at. Go ahead. This is the other guy. He's got a gun. Look at that. It's a snow shovel fight. It's a neighborly snow shovel fight. Suddenly it turns into- OH MY GOD!

Are you okay? You want help up? Are you okay? So like he like runs away, which is definitely what you should do. Ah, this is a horrible thing and a terrible thing that happened and what a weird zoom on the camera What the fuck was that? It was really cool Do you see that look at this weird zoom in what is that? It's not weird

Doesn't that look like he's like he's on look He stops What the fuck what are? Are you seeing that? Can you, like, look at this. I don't understand what's happening here. He's sliding forward. He's not there, is he? It's a green screen.

Is this one of those things where they're pretending to be there? Because look, what was that? Hold on. This is way more important than that video where we're talking about how we should control her. What the fuck? Did you see that he's not walking? It's like he's being pulled on something. Is he on some kind of like sleigh?

That is so weird. That is so fucking weird. But yeah, I mean, you think about that snow shovel fight. You know, we all get angry. I'm sure both of them are assholes and have been antagonizing each other for a long time. But you know that moment, you know this is actually a real problem, ladies.

I don't know if y'all even realize you do this, but sometimes when, like, I've had girlfriends where, you know, we've been out or something and somebody cuts us off and And somebody cuts us off and the lady screams at them like, fuck you, you piece of shit, you stupid fuck. And like, you're the guy, like the person who if there's a road rage incident, they're not going to probably attack your girlfriend. You're the one who's gonna have to fight. And this is like a true, true absolute issue in our country.

Like 70% of road rage accidents, and you can look up the statistic, 70% of road rage violence starts with a drunk girlfriend mouthing off to like a Chad in a truck. That's so many deaths are caused by this, way more than heart attacks. So please ladies, unless you can fight or pack in heat,

don't antagonize scary fucking weirdos when you're out on a date with your man, if he's me. Because I don't know how to fight and what the fuck am I gonna do you're putting me in some awful ego position where like because I want to have sex with you I have to act like I want to fight I have no choice and I can't tell you how many men I've had to just beat senseless because of this it so many times I've had to jump out of a my car and well my um

Jump off my lime scooter and fucking like Throw some dude around but anger Carmichael got to watch out because you know like with sadness You've got to watch out. Because you know, like with sadness, generally, like, it's a creeping kind of thing. Like sort of sadness kind of fills you up real slowly. Like you hear a song or something or whatever. You're coming off of MDMA or, you know, that sense of just kind of this low level sadness

washes over you. And then sadness will inspire you to cry, to go to bed, to slow down. And then there's being horny, which is almost as dangerous as anger. Being horny will drive you into really bizarre situations. Horniness is an adventure. It's an invitation to like probably fuck your life up or someone else's, but the path that opens up when you're like spectacularly horny is pretty amazing. And you know I would guess that many of the great innovations in the world many of the great technologies we have many of the great stories all Started with someone who was like like that fever level horny like Ernest Shackleton or something. I'm fucking going out to

explore Antarctica But anger What's scary about anger is like it can just spring up on you. Like you know what I mean? Like you just suddenly you just fly off the handle and that's a scary thing. For a second you're not even there. You're just like pure monkey. Your lizard brain is activated.

You see it with kids you, like when they tantrum. It's like you see what's in all of us, because there's a moment where your child will become inaccessible. They are offline, dude. And you're not going to like be able to logically convey to them, you know what, I really can't give you lunchlies, because they're filled with like all kinds of weird shit and I don't think it's the healthiest thing for you to eat.

They don't want to hear that. They're like on the ground shrieking. So it's hard to break through. This is anger and anger gets your ass in jail. Or like this video, anger, suddenly you are angry and then you're like looking at your wife. He killed both of them, he like shot both of them. I think he shot himself. But like you're looking over at your wife, she's bleeding.

And what's incredible that you won't see in this YouTube video is one of them is they're lying there dying, says to him, fuck you, which is like their last word. On this planet, their farewell to human life to the time space Continuum the way they wrap up the symphony of their life the final Line in their movie is fuck you and then they're dead That's anger. Not only does it put you in all kinds of

dangerous situations, but It's embarrassing. Oh my God, horniness, embarrassing. Anger, embarrassing. These are the two, I'm trying to think of the other ones. Fear, fear's got a kind of purity to it. I don't think fear is true fear.

I don't think it's embarrassing. I mean, your friends might be like, you're a pussy, but fear is like true fear. I don't think it's embarrassing. I mean your friends might be like you're a pussy But fear is like there's something pure about it anger horniness You like turn into some cartoonish thing Your face gets red your cheeks get red you start sending weird fucking DMs to people

You know what I mean? Like, horniness inspires dick pics, which is wild. And then something we'll never know is how, at any given moment, how many digitized dicks are flying through us as they travel to someone's phone around us. How many, like, ones and zeros that will be alchemized into a picture of a dick right now are just shooting through you like on a plane in a hotel? My god!

In a hotel, my guess would be you're getting at least 15 dicks every hour shot through you as they go to someone else's phone. An ocean of dicks. It's embarrassing. But anger, wow. So embarrassing. Now, I've been listening to this great book, which I would recommend, called, it's by Chogam Trampa, and it's called Cynicism and Magic. Wow, it's great. And so he's talking about expectation. And I never thought of it this way. So basically, you expect things to be a certain way and then they're not and so you get angry But he was saying that expectation is

Aggression that there is an aggressive quality to expecting things It already is kind of an angry sense. You're already kind of pissed off. You have an idea of the way you want things to be. You've been alive long enough to know it's not gonna go that way, like three out of four times. It never does. So you're already kind of pissed off

because you know it's that thing where you're like, fuck, this is gonna be bad. You walk into a restaurant, you're like, God, this is gonna suck. You like, you get to the airplane and like you sit down in the seat. No one's there yet. You don't know who's gonna sit next to you.

But you're already kind of pissed off because you're picturing, you know, some giant. Like you always get the giant in the airplane. Your mind is telling you, I guarantee it's gonna be a fucking football player. And the whole time I'm gonna be smushed against the side of my seat with some sweaty dude's testosterone fucking puffed arm smushing into me,

every the hairs of his arm rubbing against me or a baby's gonna start crying and you're already pissed. So anger is what's fascinating about it and this is why the general prescription in Buddhism is meditation and this is why they call it a practice is because if you get tuned in to yourself you realize you can see

anger rising way before you have the anger seizure. And that is an interesting thing. It's like having some telescope on Earth and knowing there's an asteroid that's about to hit the planet. Like you see the beginning of it. And then, or you know what it's like, it's like fucking hurricanes. You know they catch like oh shit there's the perfect

form, there's the beginning baby hurricane and they know it's coming but the difference is you don't, we don't know how to stop hurricanes yet. Like theoretically you could, I don't know, cool the water down, use some as of yet non-existent technology to disrupt whatever the series of events going on that creates the fucking spiral that Creates a hurricane you can we don't know how to do that yet, but you can actually Not stop it like repressing or which is really bad You know what I would guess there's some direct connection between repressed anger and horniness, actually. I think, who was it, Freud said that?

Someone said that. Like anger gets, like, one of the ways it depressurizes through jerking off. Which, by the way, if you apply mindfulness to jerking off, it's real fucking funny. To really be honest about the way you're feeling feeling because it's not just like you want to come You'll notice there's a whole lot of other stuff in there, too And sometimes there's anger there's boredom, but generally like I don't know if you've noticed that maybe it's just me

but like You start looking into it and you realize like you're kind of disgruntled You know, like you're not just horny. You're like fuck this fat, you know frustration jerk-offs Yeah, so You can sort of identify it and then the identification of it as it's forming allows you to work with it. It's workable.

That's Chogam Chompa, loves that word. It's workable. You understand there's this thing growing inside of you. And then you start looking at the causes and conditions around it, like what is happening here. And then inevitably you'll realize that what's happening is you have a distorted perspective regarding what's going on.

Like you've decided that things are away when they're not completely that way, maybe not that way at all. But the way Trump or Rinpoche puts it is, when you have an expectation, like I'm gonna smoke a cigarette, you actually, the moment the expectation emerges, you soften into the form of what you're about to experience. Your identity transforms with the expectation.

So you're thinking you're about to have a good dinner, you turn into someone who's about to enjoy a great dinner. You think you're about to have great sex, you turn into someone who thinks they're about to have great sex. And when that expectation isn't met, you harden up. It's like a turtle going into its shell. Now that the expectation isn't met, everything gets real rigid. It's not soft anymore. You don't have that, ah, the weed is kicking in.

I'm about to have a latte feeling now. You've got the where's my fucking latte feeling What's going on? What what the fuck all of that? And so then you get real rigid and that is the pain that goes along with it. There's a rigidity to anger. There's a Unwillingness to unanger yourself. And the more you stick to that, the angrier you get. And then in that rigidity, you actually transform the people around you to like fucking like go into their shells.

And now it's just a bunch of rigid, calcified, irritated, frustrated people jerking off together. I'll put up the link below about my men's group. We have been pleasuring ourselves together to deal with our anger. And we have had great success, except for Darryl. No offense, Darryl, but he can't, he says he's having a real trouble. He but he can't, he's having real trouble.

He can't get hard. He says he doesn't wanna jerk off with a lot of dudes. And to me, this is a block. It's a block. It's like, number one, the term dude is offensive. Like it's men. You are jerking off as an aggression, a microaggression. You're jerking your dick.

And that's like, that's not it, man. Don't jerk your dick hard. Think about it. I mean, that's your... Not your Yoni. I don't remember the name, I forgot. My teacher told me the name. It's not Yoni, it's, you know what the hippie word

for dick is? It's not Yoni. Hold on. Let me look it up. It's like Yoni and, hold on. Yoni. What does Yoni mean? Maybe we start there. Yoni, a symbol of divine procreative energy conventionally represented by a circular stone.

I always thought it meant, Yoni means vagina. Let me look this up. Yeah, a stylized representation, this is the real definition, a stylized representation of the female genitalia that in Hinduism is a sign of generative power and symbolizes the goddess Shakti. So What is What is the spiritual world word for penis? Penis. Phallus, but I thought there was another word.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. There is a hippie word for cock that is not showing up. Point is, your phallus isn't just like the dangling weird cum-dripping tentacle that Flops around between your big fat legs Your phallus is the

Representation of penetration Penetrating wisdom, interrogating the universe, diving into a swimming pool, these are all forms of penetration. So it's a key, I guess you could say, that unlocks the pussy door. And in that unlocking, all of human life and all of the great things that we have exist from unlocking the pussy door and going inside and blasting jizz. This is how life continues on this planet. And so if you come to my men's group and you use the term jerking off, I don't want to

jerk off in front of dudes, you're going to hurt my feelings. I'm not afraid to say that. I don't do toxic masculinity. You're going to hurt my feelings and you're going to hurt the feelings of my brothers in my men's group. And if you can't jerk off with your brothers, then how can you even call it a family? Which is what our men's group is.

So, I'm sorry I called you out, but please, there... I hope this episode is sponsored by Bluechew, because there's options out there, man. You can do that. Overcome your fear. Fear is the mind killer. Read something to you. ["Sky's World", by John Williams, playing in background music.]

This episode of the DTFH is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know what's scary? I'll tell you what's scary. What's scary is you realize you've been acting like someone you're not around people and they've gotten used to that version of you, which is just some kind of weird mask you constructed during an anxiety attack because you wanted them to like you. And now which is just some kind of weird mask you constructed during an anxiety attack because you wanted them to like you. And now you've got to commit to the mask. You're afraid if you take that thing off and they see what's underneath, they're going

to reject you, make fun of you, call you names, be mean. And that's pretty sad. That means that you don't love yourself. That's a bad feeling. So this is why sometimes therapy is a great thing. Yeah, sure, like I'm being flippant about what I'm talking about, but I actually believe it. That's happened to me.

It's really creepy. And nobody wants to be crystallized into some kind of self-imposed mask. But also, you might need some help breaking that thing off your face, softening it up, getting it off your face, maybe in little chunks. You know, this was the recommendation of my barber before I shaved my entire head. He's like, why don't we just slowly get rid of the hair, and then by the time it's all gone,

people won't even know your head is bald. I said, just take it all off. But sometimes with therapy, that's what it's all about. It's a very slow, gentle process of melting away all those layers of not you that you think are you. And it's changed my life profoundly. It's one of the best things I ever did outside of like having kids, psychedelics, Burning Man, my podcast, some cars I've had. Exercise, eating healthy, being nice to my dogs.

Choosing to go to India was a great thing I did. But therapy is definitely up there. It gets the real deal. And there's a reason it exists. It works. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. therapist anytime for no additional charge. Take off the mask with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash duncan today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. So this is a quote from Dune. It's a Frank Herbert quote.

I'm a huge fan of Dune. You can pull that up if you want. Now what a lot of people don't know about this quote is that Frank Herbert used to actually say this before circle jerks with his pals. I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me and when it is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path where the fear is gone. There will be nothing Only I will remain he would say that and supposedly in his men's group everyone just started saying that before they started jerking off together and I tried to get folks in my men's group to do it and they all refused, which is fine. It's a democracy sort of. And so we're not gonna, if you don't wanna do that, fine.

I don't care. But I don't like what we all have to say. And they voted on this, which is like, hey, now you're an all star, get your game on, let's go. It's so stupid. It makes me feel so dumb to say and they voted on this which is like hey now you're an all-star get your game on let's go it's so stupid it makes me feel so dumb to say that I would rather do an incantation or a chant but it doesn't matter the point is fear and anger are the same thing in fact they say that In fact, they say that anger is hot fear. When fear gets hot, it turns into anger. So theoretically, if you could become fearless,

you wouldn't get angry anymore. If you became fearless, you would somehow walk through this world without freaking out and spilling water all over your fucking laptop because you got sucked in like a fly. You were temporarily pulled into some hyper manipulative spider web spun by Mr. fucking beast. You got me. Who got me! He got me! On every level, I guess!

He knew that would happen. Yeah, you didn't poison me with your fucking whatever, your lunch lease. But you almost destroyed the computer I'm using in Project Beast Blast. So kudos to you, Mr. Beast. You got me. One point for Mr. Beast. But I'm not stopping. And we will blow up the pyramids. Last thing, I did want to show you guys this. I know I don't know what I'm doing here in case you haven't noticed. Check this out. Also, I feel like I need to say this. I'm not sponsored by OpenAI or any of these things. I get nothing from it. I just want to share it with you. I was talking about Sora earlier, but check this out. lumaailabs.ai is the best video generation website out there.

Like a lot of them are okay, but them are okay but this one like look at this video this produces. How crazy is that? It looks so good. Until his head melts into his chest. Or we find another good one. BDSM dude at a call center. I mean, that's incredible. It looks real good. Let's see what else we got in here. I don't remember what. So you can add stuff, like you can kind of see everything.

One thing I always do with AI, I know it's childish, is you try to ask it to like show someone eating sausage. Because you can't say show someone like munching on a penis. Let me see here. This was a video clip I was trying to do for the prank calls that Emil and I made, which by the way are available on Bandcamp link underneath But check this out. You know like a Satan attacks a call center That one not so good, but terrifying and then finally let me see there's another good one here

Hey, you know obviously every once in a while it totally fucks up but You know, obviously every once in a while it totally fucks up, but Check out I was trying to do like a cocoa melon. What's great about generative AI is if you have a stupid idea But you you're kind of like for some reason you're uncertain if the ideas is Stupid this will show you know no that's a really bad idea And you won't pursue whatever the fuck it was you thought you were gonna make and save a lot of time But this is my attempt to like Duplicate Coco melon and it did a pretty good job

But I just realized like the amount of time it would take me to do an entire Cocoomelon song with AI would be exorbitant, and for what? You know, it's pretty good though. Like if you think about like, that's pretty cool. That's actually pretty awesome. Maybe I will do a Cocomelon video. But this is great. If you are interested in messing around with generative AI, Luma Labs dot AI is great. Runway ML is also good.

But this one, and a lot of these things work really well together too. So you can make generate shit mid-journey, then throw it into Luma AI, then throw it into Runway ML, and then this is a way that you can create content that is better than a lot of the AI content you see out there, which can be pretty disappointing. What's the last thing I wanted to say? Well, I don't know. Thank you for watching my solo episodes.

For those of you who aren't subscribing, subscribe, won't you? We gotta get to phase two. Keep your eyes on this page. Soon the clip of Little Hobo will be uploaded. And finally, I really hope that you guys have it in your hearts to send some dough to Western North Carolina. I grew up there, and there's links down there. Or on the website, if you're listening to this with audio, there's links that you can find that for the foundations

that my wife and I think are the best for donating to. There's lots of good ones out there, but we researched the ones that are like boots on the ground, and you can see them in the comments down below. And I'm sorry for my audio listeners, I just realized that I was referring to things you can't see. Okay, I love you, goodbye!