Duncan Trussell Family Hour - Anthony Jeselnik

Episode Date: April 23, 2018

Brilliantly dark, absurdist comedian Anthony Jeselnik joins the DTFH and we talk about the insane amount of work that goes into creating such beautifully evil stand-up. We were also joined by Ameri...ca's favorite drunk musician Fergus Blenters.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's Macy's friends and family. Get an extra 30% off great gifts for her just in time for Mother's Day when you use your coupon or Macy's card. And take 15% off Beauty Essentials or shop specials she'll love while supplies last. Plus Star Rewards members earn on every purchase except gift card services and fees at Macy's. Sign up today at Macy's dot com slash star rewards. Savings off regular sale and clearance prices, exclusions apply. This sanctified episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by the lords and ladies of
Starting point is 00:00:36 HTML over at squarespace.com. Head to squarespace.com forward slash Duncan for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code Duncan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Greetings friends. It is I D Trussell and you are listening to the Duncan Trussell family hour podcast, which is according to George Clooney, America's top rated podcast. You can listen to that interview on podcast America.com. Thank you so much for tuning in.
Starting point is 00:01:13 You know, one of my favorite things about doing this podcast is I end up getting access to celebrities that normally I wouldn't even have a chance of crossing paths with. In this case, I was recently contacted by the manager of one of my favorite wise drunk singers, Fergus Blander. For those of you if somehow miss the glory of Fergus Blanson, he is a late stage alcoholic. He's had three liver transplants. His stomach looks like somebody shoved some satanic beach ball into it. He's bloated, ragged, run down.
Starting point is 00:01:49 He wears old broken leathery shoes. He wears a hobos cape and he's got a hobo stick. He has a checkered bandana that he wears around his neck and some of the coolest fashion glasses you ever seen. Not only does he make some of the realest hardcore down to earth super drunk, beautiful music you've ever heard in your life, but he is a fountain of wisdom. Many people have compared him to Khalil Gabron. Many people have compared him to Mahatma Gandhi.
Starting point is 00:02:16 He has found the wisdom at the bottom of the bottle and he's not afraid to let us all hear his advice and the truth he's discovered about life and my God. He has really informed me in so many of my decisions because if you're going to somebody for advice, the first person you should go to is the most unhealthy person who's been ripped apart and chemically burnt on the insides by a deadly poison. And that is Fergus Blanders. He came into the studio. I wasn't able to be there because as most of you know, I'm in Egypt right now translating
Starting point is 00:02:50 some scrolls we found in the taxidermied carcass of an old cat, but my assistant Clancy did a great job interviewing him and I just can't even believe that such an incredible artist spent time in my podcast studio. Without further ado, here's a song and a brief interview with America's favorite poison bitter, cynical, angry drunk, Fergal Blantry. Oh, you shit. Well, where are you going? I just want to say I'm fucking angry.
Starting point is 00:03:26 I'm reproducing a lot of nervousness. Oh, you shit. My name is Iron Puss. This song was taught me by an old dead dog in a city street. That's a lie. This song was taught me by a great friend of Kurt Kudendir. That's a lie too. They're all lies.
Starting point is 00:04:12 They're all lies. They're all lies. It's Mother's Day when I'm pissing in the alleyway. Rich men eat their steak for lace while on my heart she dimes. You know, these old days, you wouldn't even finish the song. The piano's drunk. Thank you. Don't feel bad I'm doing great
Starting point is 00:05:33 Like a rusty graveyard gate Broken shots of my mistake Fall from my queen I'm gonna run wild Bullshit, bullshit. Wow. I haven't sprained bricks out my dick. Fergus Blander, thank you so much for coming on and doing the show.
Starting point is 00:06:08 We're huge fans. What do you mean? We are your biggest fans. We saw you at the Hollywood Bowl three times. Give me that. You're one of our teachers. Is there any more salami? Yeah, here's some salami right here.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Welcome. Is there any advice you'd like to share with some of our listeners who are working on themselves? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a kind of question. I need to hear from the dunce. Cracks, concrete, grey rain, must rat, diva running across the street, struck by lightning, saw it on a ground bus,
Starting point is 00:07:08 head curled down, next to it was none and a clown. Wow. Pants are brown, but when I bought them, they were white. That's a lyric I just wrote. You are amazing. Thank you so much for being here.
Starting point is 00:07:24 That was Fergus Blander. It was raw. They ought to see your snatch. What an American genius. While all of us are out here living our normal mundane lives, he's out there on the road, drinking night and day and making beautiful music for all of us. Thank you so much, Fergus Mayfield.
Starting point is 00:07:43 And thank you guys for listening to the DTFH. We got a great episode for you today with comedian Anthony Jesselneck. We're going to jump right into that. But first, some quick business. When the singularity happens and buzzing swarms of nanobots are flying through the streets of every city on this beautiful planet, do you know what criteria they're going to use to decide whether or not they should dissolve you
Starting point is 00:08:09 into a bubbling pool of gelatinous, plasmatic gel? I could tell you one thing they're going to use and that's how good your website was or if you even had a website at all. Do you really want to risk that? Do you really want to risk sitting in your backyard post-singularity and hearing that strange, warbling, buzzing sound like a thousand hummingbirds heading over the fence of your backyard
Starting point is 00:08:32 and zooming to you to disassemble you at an atomic level and transform you into nothing more than a stinking pile of puddled flesh? No! It's time for you to create a beautiful website and the best way to do that is to head over to Squarespace.com. Squarespace allows you to build an incredible website by giving you beautiful templates created by world-class designers, powerful e-commerce functionality that lets you sell anything online.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Everything's optimized for mobile right out of the box. They've got analytics that help you grow in real time and built-in search engine optimization. Listen, friends, we don't know what criteria the artificial intelligence that is soon to rule our entire planet is going to use. Will you be a slave to the robots or potentially will you become their friend? Don't risk being ripped apart by nanobots at the end of time. Head over to Squarespace.com right now and make it yourself.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Easily create a website by yourself. You don't need any help for this. You don't want to have to hire some trembling, Adderall addict to build your website and set you on the path of your dreams. You can do it yourself. Just go to Squarespace.com. The proof is in the pudding, pals. If you want to see a great Squarespace website,
Starting point is 00:09:55 all you have to do is go to DuncanTrustle.com. That is a Squarespace website. And I guarantee you when the pentagram-shaped swarms of nanobots come flying out of the Google laboratories, they're not going to tear my eyeballs out and transform me into some kind of fleshy pile of robot furniture. At the very least, they're going to let me be in their harem. It's one of their sex slaves.
Starting point is 00:10:22 And that's because I have a beautiful Squarespace website. Head to Squarespace.com. Ford slash Duncan for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Duncan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's Squarespace.com. Ford slash Duncan. Use offer code Duncan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website
Starting point is 00:10:49 or a domain name. It's time for you to ensure your safety when the great crack appears in the time space continuum and every point in the future comes pouring out into the present. And the way to do that is to go to Squarespace.com. My brothers and sisters, if you are annoyed by these ridiculous opening monologues, if you hate the commercials,
Starting point is 00:11:14 if you're sick of everything that precedes the conversations we have on this website, I encourage you to head over to patreon.com Ford slash DTFH and sign up. If you sign up there, you will get commercial free opening monologue free episodes of the DTFH and lots of other weird stuff that I post there. There's also episodes that have yet to be released. As soon as I record an interview with someone,
Starting point is 00:11:41 I upload it over at patreon.com. Thank you to all of those of you who have been signing up. We also have a bunch of t-shirts, posters and stickers located at DuncanTrussell.com. Okay, without further ado, it is with great pleasure that I introduce today's guest. He is a brilliant comedian whose incredibly dark, absurdist comedy is some of the best stand up out there right now.
Starting point is 00:12:14 You can check out a couple of his specials, which are available on netflix.com. He also had the incredible honor of roasting our wonderful president, Donald Trump. And he also had his own show on Comedy Central for a few seasons, the Jessal Neck Offensive. He is on tour right now, preparing for his next special.
Starting point is 00:12:37 You should definitely go see him live. Okay, everybody, please allow whatever dark angels have been whispering in your ear to fly through the inverted rainbow that connects all of us to today's brilliant guest, comedian Anthony Jessal Neck. Welcome, welcome on you That you are with us
Starting point is 00:13:10 We're shaking, no need to be blue Welcome to you It's the DuncanTrussell video. Anthony, thank you so much for being on the show, man. You're in the middle of a tour and stopping by and giving me your time. It means a lot to me. Thanks for being here.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Thank you for appreciating it. Cool, yeah, of course. Alright, I never do this with a podcast, but I want to start off with a little clip of some philosophy that I'd like your thoughts on it. Okay, here we go. Behold the crucifix. What does it symbolize?
Starting point is 00:13:46 Pallet incompetence, hanging on a tree. I question all things. As I stand before the festering and varnish facades of your haughtiest moral dogmas, I write thereon and letters of blazing scorn. Lo and behold, all of this is fraud. No creed must be accepted upon authority of a divine nature.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Religions must be put to the question. No moral dogma must be taken for granted. No standard of measurement deified. There is nothing inherently sacred about moral codes, like the wooden idols of long ago. They are the work of human hands. And what man has made, man can destroy. The chief duty of every new age
Starting point is 00:14:24 is to upraise new men to determine its liberties, to lead it toward material success, to rend the rusty padlocks and chains of dead custom that always prevent healthy expansion. Theories and ideas that may have meant life and hope and freedom for our ancestors may now mean destruction, slavery, and dishonor to us. What are your thoughts on that?
Starting point is 00:14:47 With philosophy, I am admitting something to you now. I consider myself to be an intelligent person. When it comes to philosophy, I almost feel like I'm getting directions from someone. That you're like, I can pay attention to the first couple. You're like, go take a left on this street and then take your next right and then I'm like, okay, take a left, take a right,
Starting point is 00:15:07 and then I gotta ask someone else directions. But I just tune out at some point. That seems to, what I just listened to, I took away from it, basically, they were saying religion is, even if religion is helpful at a certain point, it can become harmful as society changes. I used to be a hardcore atheist.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I was raised Catholic, hated it from the beginning, was like, I don't believe this and was forced into it. That I was an atheist for a while, and then I heard a word that I was like, no, that's what I am, is an apotheist. That you don't care if there's a God. Because you're like, I don't believe in God. Well, you can't know for sure, you're agnostic.
Starting point is 00:15:50 And it's like, I'm sick of this argument. I'm gonna act the way I'm going to act, regardless of whether there's a God or not. I just don't care. If I die and there is a God, and it's like all these things I've been told are true, I'll deal with it then. But I'm like, and now, having the discussion now,
Starting point is 00:16:05 I'm just like, I don't care. But as a comic, you obviously hate hypocrisy. And I despise when religion argues from a place of privilege. Where they're like, well, we believe in God. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Imagine this like Jesus think doesn't exist. Now what? Like start from scratch and prove this to me
Starting point is 00:16:25 that you can't argue from a place of privilege. That's what that clip said to me. That clip is from the Satanic Bible. That's Satanism. And I was watching your wonderful comedy special that you shot in San Francisco. And I thought, oh, shit, is Anthony a Satanist? Because that's where the, of course, Anton LeVe,
Starting point is 00:16:47 the black house was. And I was like, are you a Satanist? I mean, I don't care enough to be a Satanist. Like I once interviewed a Satanist on my old TV show. We would do like religions and we did Satanism and got this guy to come out and talk to us. And it just seemed like, I mean, I don't want to belittle them. Wonderful people.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I mean, they're wonderful people. And I hate, like, there's a lot of people who are like, I'm an atheist. You guys are dumb. And I hate that. I hate that. That's an atheist arguing from place of privilege and just being smug. Reminds me of like Bill Maher in the beginning of that
Starting point is 00:17:19 religious, that movie he did. Like the first scene is like him going to like, and arguing with like five guys in a trailer who just got out of prison. And he's like, come on, you guys. And they're like, why are you arguing with these people? This is like, you're just bullying these people. I don't, this is off-putting to me.
Starting point is 00:17:36 And I agree with everything you say. Right, man. Yeah, that's cool. You are an anti-bully person. You're kind of heroic in that. You slam down the hammer on bullies. Oh, I'm heroic for so many reasons. No, I think you are. Can I tell you the reasons I think you're heroic?
Starting point is 00:17:54 Please, I would love to know. Okay, great. So here's one of the reasons I think you're heroic. One of the things I love about art is that it takes some of the most horrific things and it like shines this beautiful light through it. And when that like, when that works, it's the most incredible thing.
Starting point is 00:18:11 So I'm watching your special, man. I hadn't had a chance to watch it yet. I'm watching this absurdist, dark, well-crafted comedy. You're saying some of the darkest shit ever. Oh, thank you. But it feels like love is coming through it, through the words. And so somehow it's just working.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Like it doesn't feel, you know, like you get around somebody and they're trying to make you, they're trying to freak you out. They're trying to like say the thing that freaks you out. And it sucks because behind it's like this weird aggression or anger, but what's coming through your jokes. It feels like love. Is it love? Is it the love of your art or life or why?
Starting point is 00:18:50 I think you, I think it's certainly, it comes from a place of positivity. It comes from a place of creation that you can call it love. I just think that the secret is like the end goal can't just be the darkness. It has to be the light, which is the laughter. Like it's got to be a great joke. Like I almost, I got into this realm of dark comedy
Starting point is 00:19:15 because it seemed like the highest possible bar with like the smallest possible safety net. Like let's just make this really hard on myself. And then the jokes have to be great. Yeah. You know, they just, if I don't get like sympathy laughs, it's like I either make you laugh despite yourself. That's right.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Or I'm bombing. That's right. You know. Well, you were in your special, you were some, you picked out a woman in the audience. You picked out a disabled woman in the audience. She was laughing very, very loudly that I had to kind of deal with it.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Was it an accident? That was not a plant. I love when people think that things are plants. Like I would pay someone to just laugh really loud. Like I'll have, I'll take questions sometimes and people are like, oh, you planted those people. Cause I had like a good comeback. And it's like, you think I paid someone to sit in the audience
Starting point is 00:20:02 and ask me if I waxed my asshole? Like this is like, people say the dumbest stuff. But like, no, that was not, not a plant. It seemed like a satanic miracle. It's just like my Christ in the midst of this dark comedy, he picks out a person and the first thing they say is I'm disabled. But I was looking at their faces
Starting point is 00:20:20 and they're so happy. They were thrilled. They're thrilled. They're so, it's such a cool interaction because it's like, what's happening is brutal. I think you were saying that her husband was an electric user. And it was, and it was a disabled person
Starting point is 00:20:34 and in any other, in any other space that could go so on the night of your special. Sure, but I feel like at my shows, like I once, I was in Salt Lake City and I think there's video of this so I may be gone now, but I'm doing it in Salt Lake City and I see a girl in the front row with an animal, with like a service dog.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Like a, like either a golden retriever or something. And I'm like, why do you have a service dog? Like you're not blind and she's like, oh, it's an emotional support animal. And I'm like, normally this would be, you don't ask a follow up question. Like something clearly back to happen. But I was like, if you're in the front row of my show,
Starting point is 00:21:14 and this is like a couple of years ago and you bring your dog, like you know, you're gonna get talked to and I'm gonna ask you about, like you're excited for this. And it was like, I was like, why do you have the service animal? And she was like, my ex-husband used to beat me and rape me so much that now, like, I need this dog. And I was like, I'm gonna have the best time right now.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Like I was just like, you know, there are easier ways to get a dog, you know? And I'm like, is this your new boyfriend? Like this guy's got a low bar. Like this guy must be like cock of the walk. And I'm just like, the crowd is going nuts. They're laughing. And I'm like, only at my show could this happen.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Right. You know, Brian Regan can't do that. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like it's, that it's, it's freeing. It's alchemy. It's some kind of alchemy, man.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Because I don't really, I've seen like a certain type of, I love dark stuff, dark things, horror movies. But, but, and I, but when you see dark comedy that doesn't work. Nothing worse. Nothing worse. People who want to come and tell me a joke after a show, I'm like, please don't like, and I don't,
Starting point is 00:22:16 they'll be like, oh, you're like, this is dark. And I like dark things like horror films. Like I think of myself as a horror film now. I used to think myself as a kind of a musician. And like, I'm making music. My jokes are music. But then I realized that was wrong. That like, I'm much more of a horror film where like,
Starting point is 00:22:30 yeah, these things are fucked up. But if you know, come, if you buy a ticket to a horror film, you come for the scares. You come for, to feel something. To feel like, to feel horrible and then feel good again. That's it. That, that, that, that really helped me to relax on stage. To be like, oh, this is, like I used to,
Starting point is 00:22:49 I don't know if I'm getting off on a tangent. I used to like, I would take out jokes sometimes. Like I would be at the comedy cellar in New York and I was like, oh, I'm on a seven o'clock show. I can't open with this joke. And Jim Norton once pulled me saying, he was like, hey, you're a movie. Like just play the movie.
Starting point is 00:23:03 If you see a movie at seven o'clock or at midnight, it's the same movie. Like don't change your people. I was like, yes. Like I love that advice. It's perfect. Wow. That's really good, man.
Starting point is 00:23:13 And you know, once I got to see, I don't know, what do you think of Carlin? What do you think of George Carlin? I liked him, appreciated him, but wasn't like a Carlin head. Right. You know, like don't go back and listen to old albums. It's like a lot of, it's a lot of complaining.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Yeah. Which is what I despise. Like I can't walk. I just, I lose respect for you if you're just up there whining. Yeah, sure. And it seemed like he was always, always doing that. So I have respect for him, but I'm not like,
Starting point is 00:23:37 I'll remember this bit. I figured, man, I figured that's what, that was your thoughts on him. And that one's like a big Carlin head, but I got to see him in the, he would come to work on his HBO specials in the main room of the comedy store. And I got to see him live.
Starting point is 00:23:49 And I realized as I was watching him, that he, it's like what you're saying. What he was doing was very dark and it was, it was sad because it's like, okay, it's like when I went to see Divo, I'm like, dude, they're old now and Divo's going to fucking suck now and it's going to be really depressing,
Starting point is 00:24:05 but they were great. I went to see Carlin. It was the same feeling like, man, I hope he's like still like, still what, what he was in the past. He opens up with the cheesiest fucking, I don't remember what, it was some shit stock joke, man.
Starting point is 00:24:17 It was like really bad, like doddering. It was like, oh God, he's not funny anymore. He's like senile or something. But then two jokes in, he's talking about his dying wife's cancer screams. And Andy, the difference between what he was doing, what you're doing is what he was doing,
Starting point is 00:24:34 I wouldn't call it comedy. It was something else. It was some kind of like necromancy, some kind of like sadistic, but it was working because he's very charismatic. And it's just like what you're talking about. He did this artful thing of like very slowly pulling the rug out from under the audience
Starting point is 00:24:52 and then like 30 minutes in, you are in a horror movie. You've been captured by a wizard. You're being assaulted. You're being like really, really, really offended, which I love to get offended. Oh yeah. I want to be shaken.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I want to be like, like I want art to make me feel something. Yeah. You know, like I don't care what it is, but make me feel something. It's so tough to do. Yeah. Have you ever heard the story of Carlin's,
Starting point is 00:25:16 he shot a special that never got released called, I kind of like it when a lot of people die? No. George Carlin recorded a special where the final bit, the closing, the special is called, I kind of like it when a lot of people die. And the closer is like a 20 minute like rant
Starting point is 00:25:32 about how he likes it when a lot of people die. When he hears like a news story where a lot of people die, like the more the better. I just love, I love reading about it. I think it's great. And he's talking about like, he's referencing these like giant, like earthquakes and shit that are happening around the world
Starting point is 00:25:44 and different stuff. He recorded this. I'm not joking. He recorded this on September 10th, 2001. Wow. The day before 9-11. And then it was like freaked out and was like, we can't, we can't release this.
Starting point is 00:26:01 We can't, you save any of this special. Like this can never see the light of day. And a couple of years ago, they've released like the audio. See, man, that's where I get nervous. And man, I know, I bet we have a humongous disagreement here, but this is where I get nervous is sometimes I think like,
Starting point is 00:26:18 when you have a big platform and you're blasting out those dark rays, which you're doing, but they're funny. So maybe they're not dark, you know, maybe it's like pure light and like we're the idiots to think that it's dark. But I get superstitious and I, like, you know, I'm a woo wooy person.
Starting point is 00:26:36 So when I hear that, I think, fuck, maybe Karlin was part of that. Maybe he was part of the cascade that led to that horrible thing happening, you know? I don't believe in karma at all for one reason and one reason only. Why? Mr. Rogers died from stomach cancer.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Mr. Fucking Rogers. Died of stomach cancer. Right. One of the worst ways to go that like, there's no, don't tell me that guy deserved that. Do you know what I mean? Like, and he was the greatest, like, you want to talk about love and like putting it,
Starting point is 00:27:12 putting out positivity out there. Amazing. Like there's no one. Pure. Yeah. He was pure. He was pure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I grew up in Pittsburgh where like he taped that show. So to me, like, he was Hollywood to me. Like as a kid, you don't understand. You're just like, oh yeah, he lives, he lives down the street. Like he's... Did you see him live? No.
Starting point is 00:27:32 I mean, you would see him, we would see, like my parents took us, all the kids to go see, like some fucking musical somewhere. And I'm like, that's Fred Rogers. Like, he's walking down the aisle. Like he's at the show just with us. That is so wild to consider
Starting point is 00:27:46 that baby Jess on that cross path with Mr. Rogers. Mm-hmm. That is wild. You would see him all the time. Well, so, okay. So the karma thing is like, you know, it's based on the concept of reincarnation. So we're dealing with like a much bigger time scale than that.
Starting point is 00:28:03 It's not like you do a bad thing and then this bad thing happens to you. That's not really how it works. It's more based on like, well, it's on a huge time frame that you're, what's the word? Ap... Ap...
Starting point is 00:28:16 Apotheist. You're an apotheist. So you really probably don't care, which actually puts you very in line with Buddhism because, you know, they would ask Buddha what happens when you die and say, what difference does it make? You're not dead.
Starting point is 00:28:28 You're here right now in this moment. What are you thinking about that for? It has nothing to do with it. But the idea of karma is more along the lines of like big time frames, you know, and it's not like someone gets stomach cancer. If you believe in the kind of karma where someone who has stomach cancer
Starting point is 00:28:43 must have done something rotten, then it's like, I don't know if that's exactly it. I don't think that they, people with stomach cancer deserved it, but just that you would think that there would be some sort of reward. Something nice would happen to Fred Rogers for doing what he did.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Well, I mean, right, I mean, maybe that was the best fucking thing to happen to him. Like, maybe he was going to slide out of control later in his life. Maybe Fred Rogers is going to get some kind of like horrible fucking neuro... like that fucking brain tumor that got the guy up in the tower?
Starting point is 00:29:12 Can you imagine that? You know, the shooter, the college shooter, he went up in a fucking tower with a gun. Like the one in the 60s or whatever? Yeah. And that guy left a note saying, I think I have a brain tumor. And then they operated and he had a fucking brain tumor.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Like Fred Rogers could have gotten a brain tumor, as possible, climbed up in a tower, started blasting toddlers. I mean, dying early is a, is certainly a great career move in a lot of ways that you become more than you were. More than you were. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:40 And, you know, Fred Rogers, we're talking about, like backstage, we don't know. No offense. This is like, I'm with Anthony Jesleneck. I'm allowed the blast theme. We don't know what he was like backstage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:51 People do. There's been a book written about him. There's a movie coming out about him that, like, you've never heard a bad word about the guy. Everyone talks about him like he is and was a saint. I don't know if they've even talked about canonizing him. I don't know if he was, canonizing Mr. Rogers?
Starting point is 00:30:06 Yeah. I would be all for it. Yes, I would be all for it too. But man, I just can't imagine, like, you know, the Jungian shadow, the darkness inside of everyone, the gnashing demonic teeth, the reality we're all being dissolved by time.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Come on. Fred Rogers. He did something, man. I think he figured out, like, the way through that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I saw a movie recently. Like, obviously you get into comedy because you're, there's an anger there.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Yes. You know, whatever it is, there's like, you're, you might not be damaged, but you're definitely there's an anger there. Yeah. And I was watching a movie called Wind River. Wind River, I think. And they're like talking about this guy's, like,
Starting point is 00:30:45 going out of his mind because his daughter died. He's acting bad. He's like, I used, he's like, I'm just so angry. I want to fight the world. And he was like, I used to want to fight the world. The other guy says, I used to want to fight the world. Now I fight that feeling. Wow.
Starting point is 00:30:59 And it was like, yeah, like you can take your aggression, you can take your, like, anger, but use it to, use it to make yourself positive. You can literally fight that feeling of wanting to fight. Yeah. And that, that just like blew my mind. Like in the theater, I was like, oh, I love this movie. Just for that line of dialogue.
Starting point is 00:31:15 That's beautiful, man. I recommended it to me. Like, I hated that movie. I, they're in fucking Alaska. And I'm like, I just liked that line. Like that was a great line. Yeah. You can be positive and still be a badass.
Starting point is 00:31:26 You know what I mean? Yes. But be, like, doing good in the world. I love that, man. People forget that too. Like that, the whole idea of positive, like what a positive person looks like, is such a demonic idea.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Like that yoga, you know, yoga, like a person who's like doing yoga and is like, hi. Yeah. You know, I fucking hate that, man. That's really annoying. Absolutely. It's like someone who, like,
Starting point is 00:31:51 who quits drug, gives up drugs and then becomes like an anti-drunk crusader. Like they're like, it's that sort of like, just lay off me. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't, I know you mean well, but you're fucking this up. That sort of, that, that, that,
Starting point is 00:32:06 the new agent thing you described is, yeah, I get it. Yeah. It's like, what's, there's some great graphic novel on now. I can't remember the name. It's like a, a velvet glove cast an iron or something, but it's an idea of like someone's like punching you. Like it, it's like someone's taken their aggression and they have clothed it in this kind of like weird
Starting point is 00:32:26 New Agey yoga thing and they're just beating you over the fucking head with it and they're assaulting you basically, which just kind of like feels like what the opposite of what you're doing, which is that you've taken this beautiful, like powerful, I don't know, passionate fucking vital force and clothed it in like really dark shit
Starting point is 00:32:47 and that, that's why it works. I guess that's why it works. Yeah, thank you. I just, when I, when I kind of discovered this, like, you know, when you go on stage in the beginning, you're just like trying to find, find any laugh wherever you can. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Like I would be like an acrobat comic if they laughed at me fucking rolling around on the floor, like you would have just done that. Then when I was like clicked on this and it started to work and I was like, this is organic and it works and it's difficult, but I understand why and I can defend it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:33:18 You know? Like I can always defend it in a way that makes it, just how you look at it. It can be either positive or not. Like you're awful for joking about these things. Like, no, I'm not. I'm like maybe the greatest person of all time for joking about these things.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Yeah. Just that this is a positive thing. Like we're laughing at these things. How was that negative? How am I a jerk? Like I make people laugh for a living. And it might be at these terrible things, but that's like this is what makes it fun.
Starting point is 00:33:46 You love yourself. I have to work to do, to love myself. Yes, but I work. But the confidence, I'm sorry to cut you off, but the confidence, man. I'll tell you one of my favorite things that happened at the comedy store
Starting point is 00:34:02 and one of the big lessons in comedy I got was from Paul Mooney. He walks off stage. And he just annihilated it. And he walks off stage. He's wearing that like safari outfit. You know, it's like the thing that he walks off stage. And I say, Paul, that was just amazing.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And he goes, it was wonderful, wasn't it? It was just wonderful. I love that so much because it's like, hey, I agree with you. I'm good. Instead of the thing like I have done where people are like, that was great. I'm like, yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:30 You don't need to kind of worry about that. Sure. That sucks. So that that seems like you love yourself. I don't mean it like you have hubris in a healthy way. Yeah. And I understand what you remember by that. I love when I did the roast of Donald Trump,
Starting point is 00:34:47 the confidence that I have on stage started out as fake confidence. You just pretend. People are like, how do I get into that? You fake it. You just fake it. And once I just realize that everyone's kind of nervous and has anxiety that you're like, oh, I'm just going to fake this.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Now it's real. Now it's real. Now it's like I've done like this. I'm, you know, touring my fourth hour right now that I'm like, oh, I can like, this is amazing. Like now I, the confidence is real because I've just done it. Yeah. Over and over again.
Starting point is 00:35:16 But I remember doing the Trump roast. It was like my big break in comics in New York would make fun of me so much. Like in the like a fun way. I just, they would be like anything like great job on the Trump roast. And I go, I know, did you guys see the thing where and like they were like, it's just so funny to when someone gives you a compliment to be like, I know and excited. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah. But I really felt like there are certain things I do that are certain jokes that are perfect. Even if you were like, oh, your last hour is like the greatest special of all time. I'm like, I don't believe you. But you feel like that joke was great. Right. I believe it.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah. You know the difference between confidence and arrogance. What? Confidence is a whisper. Arrogance is a scream. Oh, wow. You know, you've got to like yell out, you're the greatest. I'm the greatest.
Starting point is 00:35:59 That's Eric. It's perfect. I'm the fucking best, man. Did you see that? That that is confidence. Yeah. And it's good for the world. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:09 We need that shit. More people should be more confident. I agree, man. I had the skulkers, you know, like skulking self-hating people. It's really, it's a plague that's everywhere. Like people think you're not supposed to like yourself. But some people aren't really working as hard as you do, man. What's your, what does a work day look like for you when you're getting ready for a
Starting point is 00:36:28 special, like when you're preparing the new hour? I mean, when I'm writing the new hour, it's like, it's, it's almost like it evolves. It's like, it's right now. I've kind of knocked it down to a three, three year process. I think we're like, for a year, I'm writing like every day I just write and I'm start from zero. Cause if I have any of the old stuff when I'm sorry, you said a three year process. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Per special. Yeah. And so every special we see that's three years of your life work put into it. I mean, just about. Yeah. I would say that that's fair. Maybe maybe three or four. I mean, the first one takes forever.
Starting point is 00:37:01 That is fucking serious, man. But it's like a year of just writing. And then I, by the end of that year, I hope I have 40 minutes and then I go to comedy clubs for a year. Wait, you're, you're writing minus the comedy clubs. I'm, I'm writing and doing like the store and staying in LA for a year and then go to comedy clubs and tour where I'm like Thursday through Saturday, two shows a night. And then I'm in the third year now where it's like now a year of theaters as like, cause
Starting point is 00:37:27 I think a theater is like a celebration of your act. Where as a club, you're like there to work and get better. Now it's like, this is locked. Right. Watch this. Right. Right. And then tape the special in November and then start again.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Wow. That's like a, that's a novel. That's a novel. That's like writing a novel. That's how I, that's how I try to think about it is like, because they're like, now it's like, oh, do a 15 minute special. Do a half hour. It's like, no, that I, more people watch if it's a half hour.
Starting point is 00:37:51 I'm like, I don't care. The hour is important to me. Like the audio is important to me that it exists. Even though Netflix, like Netflix will be like, we don't want anyone else to be able to listen to it in any other way, but like the, the special. And I'm like, no, because in 20 years, I want some kid to be able to buy the box set. Right. The complete works of Anthony just like that means that our means a lot.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yeah. Well, you could, yeah, you could tell man that the math is perfect in those jokes. It's like, it's mathematically perfect jokes. It's really, really inspiring. But as I was watching, I was thinking like, you're not really, I don't know. You're, you're not a biographical comic. Right. Like the opposite.
Starting point is 00:38:32 The opposite. Yeah. And you, and you, and I was going through interviews of you and interviews of you. And it's like, you seem to have this prior, like a private life. You seem to have like a, there's a veil between Anthony Jeselnack, the comedian and Anthony Jeselnack, the person, or maybe I just didn't find the right interviews. No, I think that I just don't like find it that interesting. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:38:54 Like, like, I'm, like, I don't talk about politics on stage ever. Like, I think that's like the lamest shit to do. Yes. But I'm happy to tell you who I voted for, you know, like, we just don't end up in that conversation. Like it's just, it's, and I just don't think I'm that interesting that I want to go on stage and like talk about my life. You know,
Starting point is 00:39:13 I love it, man. I love absurdity. And I think that this is a trap. A lot of comics get stuck in is they start thinking that the only thing they can talk about on stage is something that actually happened to them, that they can't fabricate stories. And it seems like that's pretty much what you're doing. It's just, it's fiction mostly, right?
Starting point is 00:39:31 No, 100%. I mean, it's like, like, I, I kill my parents and resurrect them every new hour. You know what I mean? Like they will die throughout the course of the hour. Like one of them will die. The other one is like guilty of killing the next one. They're back together and I get to start from scratch. But it was like the way that I could, I couldn't talk about these horrible things if I was like
Starting point is 00:39:50 actually like throwing family members into the bus. People who were just like, my mom is the fucking worst. And I'm like, why are you telling these people? You know what I mean? Like why are you being mean to your mother on stage? Like it's awful putting to me. Right. It's fucked.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah. Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about that joke about your brother jerking off. And I was trying to think of the wording of the joke. I woke up in the middle of the night and I'm like, wait, what is the wording of the joke? Cause I couldn't even, having seen, I couldn't even do it right. Why does that joke go again? It's like, I walked in, no, I saw my brother was jerking off.
Starting point is 00:40:22 He said, close the door. It was like, oh yeah. My brother is like the worst. I forget. I mean, I try, I honestly try to forget. Wow. Like have you ever heard that it's like bad to remember your dreams? No.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Like that it like, it's like, it's your mind getting rid of something that you need. If you like write that, if you do a dream journal. Yeah. You're like losing the benefit of dreams. Like it's like, like it exhausts your mind. Like you're more tired. If you do, you just let your brain just do its thing and move on. That I feel almost feel like with a special, like I need to forget those jokes.
Starting point is 00:40:53 You expunge those jokes. Do you, so this three year process, do you feel weird that you're doing the same jokes for three years? Does that start? No. Like I love them. And then I like, I'll eventually get tired of them. You know, you almost try to tape the special when, like you think about the money you'll
Starting point is 00:41:12 make, you know, from touring, you want to make as much as you can because then the specials like the material is all dead. You can never make money with it again once a special comes out. Right. Make as much as you can. And then this is like an investment. Right. What the fuck was I even about to say?
Starting point is 00:41:28 I don't know. I just lost my thought. I just lost my thought. Person versus persona, man. And, and, and like sort of like the, the, sometimes I wonder with you, I was wondering, do you ever feel trapped by this persona? Like I was thinking like, man, you know, David Bowie, he fucking reinvents himself all the time.
Starting point is 00:41:47 And I was wondering, do you ever think like, whoa, comedically, there's an opportunity here to go deeper into the absurdity by doing a full reinvention of the persona. Do you ever think about it? Constantly. Constantly, but I, it'll come through my writing that like, I, you know, I, I love this hour. I don't get sick of the jokes. I know I'm going to tape the special and walk off stage. And I assume like, I'm just like, I'm just going to, let's see how I feel.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Let's see what I want to do. You know, as you get further in your career, you have more freedom that I can wait for a year and for something to strike me. But what I want to do usually is I walk off stage and I'm like, I want to get to work right now on the next hour. Like it just, excuse me, it's a compulsion that I'm happy to have. I'm, I'm glad I have an interest in something I'm passionate about. And when I start to write, I'm like, maybe this is the one where I get, I get personal.
Starting point is 00:42:37 If I think of the way to do it, but I've got to think, I've got to find the way in. I'd be happy to get personal on stage, but it'd have to be interesting to me. Like you would talk about like hack comics earlier. Like I think a hack is something like a great comic is someone who can like tells, talks about what they think is funny and convinces the audience. Hack comics are convenient to tell the audience what they think the audience will think is funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:07 You know what I mean? It's like, here's what I think is funny. Let me convince you. And if you can, then you're a great comic. But if you're like, they're going to laugh at this, you're like, that's hack. What if you can't, but you try? You know what I mean? Like you're still like, that's still good.
Starting point is 00:43:22 It wasn't it better to go on stage with some idea of what you think is funny. I mean, you really think it's funny. Not like you wish it were funny, but you really think it's funny and it eats shit. Isn't that way better than going on stage and saying what you know is going to work? It depends. You know, it really, like if I was, if I was better to, for me to watch personally, like I was at the point now where like, it really, this is so cheesy because I had fought against this, but it was like, look like you're having fun.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Like if you were, if you're like confidently and like, and happily going through your set, then I can sit and watch you. But if you're like uncomfortable and you're trying to do something and it's not working and you're like, then I'm just watching an uncomfortable person and like any other audience member, I want them gone. Yes. You know, like try to be weird and try to be different, but make it work. Right.
Starting point is 00:44:15 It has to work. Right. Yeah. And some people just don't put that much effort. That's what it is. That's the problem. Yeah. Here's, okay.
Starting point is 00:44:23 So this is a, because I was thinking like, how the fuck do I interview Anthony Gesselnick, man? You've like, you've been interviewed bunches of times by really great interviewers and talked about comedy and stuff. I thought, man, you're, you, you are an English major and you read all the time. You're like a bookworm, it seems like. You're always reading. So I thought, fuck, maybe I can get them to read a poem.
Starting point is 00:44:44 I really liked it. Reminds me of him. Sure. You read this? I will. Let's see how long it is first. Sure. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:54 The tiger by William Blake, tiger, tiger burning bright in the forests of the night. What a mortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry and what distant deeps or skies burnt the fire of thine eyes on what wings dare he aspire. What the hand dare sees the fire and what shoulder and what art could twist the sinews of thy heart. And when thy heart began to beat, what dread hand and what dread feet, what the hammer, what the chain and what furnace was thy brain, what the anvil, what dread grasp, dare its deadly terrors clasp.
Starting point is 00:45:36 And when the stars threw down their spears and watered heaven with their tears, did he smile, his works to see, his work to see, did he who made the land make thee, tiger, tiger burning bright in the forests of the night. What a mortal hand or eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry. Cool, man. That sounded great. You got a great poetry voice. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Holy shit. Yeah, man. You think this is just, you know, I know again you said you're an, I'm sorry, I can't remember. What a terrible interview. An apotheist? Apotheist. I think it's a real word that I've read it.
Starting point is 00:46:10 I've read it online somewhere that I was like, oh, this seems like a thing, but I've had to explain to people every time I've said it. They're like, it doesn't, it sounds like you just changed the word yourself. You just don't care. But then I was, I was, when you were saying that, I was thinking, well, there would be reasons to care. And I don't mean reasons to care in the sense of like damnation for not caring, which is what happens to a lot of Catholics.
Starting point is 00:46:32 They think that that's like it creates a natural resistance because there's this terrible threat. It's the worst kind of threat. It's ridiculous. It's like you're damning your family and everyone you love to hell if you don't believe in God. You know what I mean? Like it's not just, it's not about you. It's like everyone you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:48 When it seems like I didn't believe in God and my dad died. And then I was like, well, I want him to be so I want to believe he's somewhere. So then I started to believe. And it's like, now you're selling yourself out. Yeah. Well, no, it's like kind of like, well, the fundamentalist Christian, literalist interpretation is this being is gone. He's coming back.
Starting point is 00:47:08 If you're not in some certain spiritual level by the time he comes back, you're going to hell, which is this is the identical trick bank robbers use. Like you rob a bank and you're like, Hey, everyone on the floor, I'm going to walk back in two minutes and anyone who's moved, I'm going to blow their fucking brains out. It's like a it's a voodooey trick. But as a someone who studied literature and seems to read deeply, you don't interpret Christianity in a literal way. Like surely you can see that there's like usefulness in it minus the reality of there
Starting point is 00:47:40 being a Christ or a God. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, and I don't want to like denigrate if it helps someone, you know, someone's like, I've been doing this. I'm doing meditation. I'm like, great. You know, like, I'm glad that works for you.
Starting point is 00:47:53 If you're like, I've been taking placebo pills and it's made changed my life. Like fantastic. Right. Have as many as you want. You know, like I just leave me out of it. Right. I don't want to be a jerk about these beliefs, but don't come to me and like try to argue with me.
Starting point is 00:48:06 Like, don't talk to me from a place of privilege. Don't talk down to me because I'm not a part of this. Right. But like, um, have you ever taken a psychedelic? Yeah. What? Which what? Which psychedelics have you taken?
Starting point is 00:48:19 I've taken acid and mushrooms. Acid a lot. Or there was like, I was on Martha's Vineyard for summer working. And it was just like, like there was like a two week period where like every other night you would like take a hit of acid and we all got to jump off bridges and shit. And like, it was never like super crazy, but it was so much fun. So much and I've done mushrooms a few times, which you like better acid or mushrooms? I honestly, I liked it maybe just because I was doing it when I was like 20 years old,
Starting point is 00:48:43 but the acid was more fun and more, it was like energy. Like it was just like, it was more than just a mushroom trip. And I've enjoyed mushrooms, but I've had some bad experiences in mushrooms too. Like what? I did a, it was like right when I moved out to LA, I basically like moved in with a fraternity. Like I was like, I was living in a house, but it was like all these black guys. Kryscher's fraternity, right? He was in the same, Bert Kryscher, I think was in the same, what is it, Phi Kappa Tau?
Starting point is 00:49:09 What's your name? I was in ATO at Tulane. Oh, ATO, yeah. But I was like not involved. Like I pledged and then was like, this is the fucking dumbest shit ever. And like it wasn't around. I wasn't like a raw, raw fraternity. Like when I moved out to LA after, after New Orleans, well, I went to college in New Orleans,
Starting point is 00:49:26 moved out here. I was basically like, my one friend out here wasn't a fraternity still. So we went on like some date party to like, like Tahoe was like staying in some casino and me and my friends didn't have dates. We were just there with them. Yeah. We're like, how do we end up here? So we're like drinking all day.
Starting point is 00:49:42 We haven't like eaten anything. They're all going to the dinner, like with their dates and we're like, all right, let's get some weed and like smoke a little bit, eat something and then they'll come back and we'll rally. And then the guys like the dealer out there was like, oh, I don't have weed, but I've got mushrooms. Oh, shit. And we were just like, well, how much?
Starting point is 00:49:56 She's like 20 and eighth. So we're like, okay. So instead of splitting it, we're like, let's each get an eight. And then I'm like, walk, walk and get water somewhere. And I look down and the bag is gone. I've eaten the entire bag. And I had a great time that night. But afterwards I was clinically depressed for months.
Starting point is 00:50:14 Holy shit. Yeah. That seems way out of character for you. Do you get depressed? Do you, do you have depression? I have, I get depressed less, but I have done it in a way where I'm like enjoying the experience. Do you know what I mean? Like everyone gets down.
Starting point is 00:50:29 Yeah. Where it's like, you feel a little blue. Like I've done some of my, I've written some of my best jokes when I've been like, you feel like too depressed to sleep kind of thing. Yeah. And it's rare, but when it happens, I'm like, okay, let's just go with this. Let's like experience this and deal with it. And I said the words clinical depression, I don't know, I never got treatment, but I
Starting point is 00:50:47 didn't feel right for a long time that I was like hesitant. So if I'm going to do mushrooms, I'm like, okay, but tell me the situation and how much are we going to do? Like, I'll do that. Yeah. Mushrooms, casino, that kind of, that, that's, but at the time it was great. It's great. It was just too intense.
Starting point is 00:51:03 It was like, I think an eighth on an empty stomach was the problem. It wasn't the casino. It wasn't, it was like whatever that did to me when I came down, I was just like fried. Dude, I love what you were saying about enjoying depression and this is like one of my teachers Ramdas. One of the things he talks about is like, there's two ways you could look at your depression. One of them, I'm so depressed. I'm so depressed.
Starting point is 00:51:25 I don't want to live. The other one is like, wow, this is a serious depression. Oh, I don't think I'm ever going to get out of this one, man. And it's like that, the moment you make that shift, suddenly it's, it's manageable. You know, it's just an experience that you're having. Exactly. That's when I run into like former atheists or, you know, I, I don't know what your audience is for this podcast.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I just want to say like, it's a Christian, neither one of us is like belittling depression. You know, there are people who have it way, we're like, I've experienced the blues and I can enjoy that, but I've never had like, I understand that there are people who like want to kill themselves every waking moment and it's like, that's, and I have empathy for those people. I'm not, I'm not, I get that kind of depression. They know it. I can yap about it because I've had that a few times in my life.
Starting point is 00:52:15 I get to like, shit your pants in bed, don't want to move. It's only happened a few times, but it does happen and it's the worst fucking thing ever, man. It's the worst thing ever. They know that though. Yeah. I'm not belittling depression at all. It's just, it's nice to, you know, know people are listening and then like, well, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:33 there are things. I actually did intermuscular ketamine for depression. You ever heard of that treatment for depression? No. Holy shit, man. This is the most insane thing. They're calling it one of the great psychiatric breakthroughs, which is they figured out that if you inject someone with ketamine, which is an disassociative anesthetic, that it
Starting point is 00:52:55 treats the depression within like 45 minutes. So as opposed to SSRIs where it's like a month, it's like you start walking away and you're just like, it's lifted a little bit, which is pretty intense. You should try ketamine. It's pretty incredible. You ever tried it? No. It's so fucked up, man, because it kills you.
Starting point is 00:53:13 It like, it annihilates you. It obliterates you. It's very, very hallucinatory when you do it at a high dose. So it just kill you. You're forced to deal with your own mortality. You'll become like cremation ash, you know, just nothing there. You're just ash. That's it.
Starting point is 00:53:30 You're just dead. But are you afraid of death? No. Not at all. I used to be like, I used to be like, I've, my personal philosophy is just something that I've come through from like thinking about death a lot. You know, like when I was, when I was like younger, I would get depressed. I would think about death quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:53:48 And then like one day I just thought, you know what, just like, just pretend you're immortal. You know, you're still worried about this life. Like, what if you were like an immortal and you didn't have to worry about death ever? You were just like, just enjoy all you really have is the moment. You know, and then that made sense to me. It was like, oh, okay. Yeah. Like just pretend you're going to live forever.
Starting point is 00:54:09 You'll die. But stop, stop worrying about it. That's beautiful. I really don't, I really don't have any problem with it. The one time that I will like, I'll be scared to like, I don't know if this makes sense to you. Like if I'm doing a gig, if I'm flying to the gig, I'm like, if this plane crashed, that'd be cool with it.
Starting point is 00:54:28 If I'm flying home, I'm like, fucking plane better not crash. Like I'm going like, I mean, at least I don't have to do, I don't have to do the show. But if I'm coming home, I'd be like, motherfucker. That's a true comic, man. I'm glad you admit it. I'm glad you admit it. It's not as though like as you're flying to the show, you're like, oh shit, man. Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:54:48 There is a piece of you that's like, fuck, yeah, I'll just be incinerated. I mean, at least I won't have to go up for two times a night for, wow. Yeah, I know exactly. But like with my, with my hour, like I would be very upset to be dying now. Like I got to record this hour and then I'll be at peace. I'll be like, if I died tomorrow, at least this is still there, that I haven't wasted my time. Like that would be my fear.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Right. Like a wasted life is, is terrifying to me, you know, a better life. But death. No. Are you, are you a workaholic? No. No. This is like the only thing in my life that I've really worked at, you know, like I was
Starting point is 00:55:28 always the kid in school who would drive people crazy because they're like, you're smart, but you're clearly not trying at all. And if you just applied yourself, and I just couldn't, couldn't do it. I liked to read and that was about it. But this is like the only thing I've really worked at. How old are you? 39. 39.
Starting point is 00:55:46 And have you ever had in your life a major heartbreak, you ever gotten your heart crushed by anybody? Um, or anything? I mean, I've certainly been embarrassed. I've been sad. I don't know if I've ever had my heart like crushed, but I've been, I've gone through heartbreak. Sure.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Like I've gone through breakups. And even if it's like, even if you're the one doing the breaking up, it's still, you know, it's still, it's still tough, but yeah, I've had some, I've had bad things happen. You're usually the guy doing the breaking up. Oh yeah. I mean, I've been dumped, but usually it's, it's, it's me or it comes from me. What's your technique? Do you have a tactic?
Starting point is 00:56:23 Now I'm just very blunt and honest. You know, I found that like, cause I used to be, I had, I had a relationship that ended where I was like, I'm just going to cheat until they find out and then they'll break up with me. And I was like, once that happened, I was like, I knew what I was doing. This was like pure cowardice. I've like, like someone that I loved, I've like really fucked them over. Like I just felt like such a piece of garbage that I was like, I'll never do this again.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Right. You know, I'll never, I'll never just like let things, let things go because I don't want to confront them. And then the other person pays for it. It's like the person who like cheats on their, their spouse and then tells them cause they feel guilty. It's like, you just like, you're, you were, you were awful to them by telling them. I disagree with that.
Starting point is 00:57:08 I'll tell you why. I disagree with that. And I know that theory and I think it's a lot and on one level it's logically sound, but it's like, that's the concept that like secrets don't carry weight. Like secrets are heavy things, man. You know, like when you're keeping something from someone that you really love or you're with all the time, it's not as though the secret isn't bouncing around inside of you. It's like there.
Starting point is 00:57:32 It's like a free radical. The things they say cause cancer. It's just zinging around inside of you, you know? So no, I disagree. I've heard that before. And in fact, that's one of the ways you could tell someone's cheating on you as if you hear them say something like that, like, you know, it's better not to tell someone that you're cheating on them.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Oh, you're cheating on me. You just told me. Yeah. You know, the secret's hurt. Well, as someone who's like helped people cheat, I mean, like hooked up with people who are, you know, in a relationship, I found that the person who, the way you find out if someone's cheating on you is if they accuse you of cheating on them. Like it's like those people are, it's like the anti gay congressman is always the guy
Starting point is 00:58:10 who they catch in the bathroom. That's right, man. It's always like the person who protests too much. Always. Jealousy is one of the big signs, man. I mean, I've done. Do you, what do you do? Monogamy?
Starting point is 00:58:21 Are you polyamorous now? What's your thing? I mean, I like the monogamy is comfortable for me. It works for me that if I'm like, if I'm going to be with someone at all, I'm not like a hookup guy. I'm like, if I'm going to be with someone at all, I like, let's see. Let's follow it out. Like that's interesting to me that I like, I don't want to have to find a new partner
Starting point is 00:58:40 every, every night. You know, that's not, that's not pleasant, pleasurable to me. But I don't know if I would call myself polyamorous. Like I just kind of do whatever I want. Like someone made me laugh. They're like, I was like, yeah, if you can get me hard, you can fuck me. You know, like, and they were like, that's such a funny way to say it. I was like, yeah, it's, it's pretty true.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. I mean, the, the, I just, I've been monogamous. Well, I'm, I'm fine at work. I'm trying out polyamory now and it's a ego. It's an ego devastator, you know, because like you have to deal with like, not being the only person looking up with someone that you're in love with. So that's a little bit of an ego devastator.
Starting point is 00:59:18 But what, what I love, is that what draws you to it is like, let's see. Like I'm going to test myself and see, because sometimes you, you know, you don't know if you're going to get jealous until you see your ex with something. You know what I mean? You don't know what's going to happen. Well, your friend tells you good news. You're like, maybe I'll get jealous when I hear this. I don't know until they tell me, is that part of the draw of like a threesome?
Starting point is 00:59:39 It, it, it, yeah, kind of. I mean, it's kind of like you, the, the, what the draws for me is just pragmatism, man. It's just like I tried monogamy for like, you know, 43 years and it's, I get jealous or they get jealous and the boy gets boring. You know, like when you're sitting across from somebody and you're doing the monogamy thing, you're like, we're only going to be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Starting point is 00:59:59 And it's like, whoa, what a coffin we've nailed ourselves into here. Haven't we? Like whatever madness that must be to think that I'm going to, that I'm going to try to keep you from like fucking somebody. Some like, yeah, but I think of a relationship as like, it's like getting a puppy kind of like, it's like getting a dog. You know, you're going to have this dog and I want that puppy time. Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:20 You know, I want, I want, if I'm going to get in a relationship at all, I want to be that like, we're fucking head over heels and just like super excited. And then that, you know, it's going to fade and it's going to be the work part of it that sometimes, you know, I've been successful and I've failed that. But it's, I've just kind of lost interest in, maybe not lost interest after I had a breakup where I was like, I was like, I'm going to learn to be alone. Yeah. You know, and it's like, first it's like, I mean, I, I would feel weird going
Starting point is 01:00:48 to a movie by myself. Yeah. Much less like eating by myself or like running. And now like it's my favorite. I go on vacations by myself. That's so cool. Like, and I'm so happy and I've tried to get in a relationship since and just been like, no, I want this person the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Yeah. Well, you're free. You're like a free spirit, you're an autonomous free spirit. Do you read Camus much? No. You get into existentialism much? Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Wow. I love listening to you talk. I love your philosophies, man. It's really cool because my favorite thing is like, you know, Joe, like start spitting out some, his personal philosophy and stuff. And like, I study Buddhism and I'm theistic. I study all this stuff. And it's really cool to hear you saying things.
Starting point is 01:01:29 It's like, oh, wow, man, you know, you're describing Buddhism. Like that thing that you said about the, well, now some Buddhists will get mad because there's like any other religion. There's a million versions of it, you know, but that thing you're saying, oh, I'm going to pretend to live forever. You know, so the only difference is, is that concept is well, actually you are infinite, like you are an infinite consciousness that's having this person, this very temporary experience of, of being a person.
Starting point is 01:01:57 So the, my teachers are like, oh yeah, you're tuned in to exactly the thing. The only difference is you're using the word pretend. Whereas they're like, no, actually that's how it is. That's the nature of reality is that consciousness isn't embodied. What do you think about that? You think consciousness is based on human neurology? Um, I don't know if this is a difference, whether it's based on it or not. Like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:02:23 Like I don't, the question doesn't trouble me. All right. You know, for sure. But I've found that you're talking about like having a personal philosophy that ends up just being like Buddhism. It's like, it's like stand up comedy where I could go and be like, you know, if you like this one joke is not working, what if you like do this? It's like, no, no, no, you've got to figure it out on your own.
Starting point is 01:02:41 You've got to be on stage and have it fail enough times that you find it yourself, right, that it's like, that it's like that. Like you couldn't have just explained Buddhism to me. And I'd be like, OK, like that wouldn't have made any sense to me. Like I had in my own mind to come up with it on my own right in order to embrace it. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, it's great. I mean, it's fucking great. I mean, you're just a, I mean, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:03:02 You're just a Buddhist, not Anthony. Of all the religions, like that's the one that I'm like, OK, like I wouldn't have any, I'm not interested that much in like the getting into the nuts and bolts, but I it would be if I had to pick one. Oh, you'd like Cholgium Trump, a man, he's great. Like one of the things he says, he was like this, like he was like, I don't know if the correct term from his apostate, but he's a Tibetan reincarnated lama who came to the United States.
Starting point is 01:03:32 He loved to drink. He loved he loved having sex. And like he was like, wild. But his books are really, really hardcore because what it's a very surgical in like cutting away delusion. It's like, let's just figure out what the truth is. And so like one of the things he says is, you know, people will be like, oh, God, such such a beautiful, so beautiful.
Starting point is 01:03:55 I can't even describe it. I don't even have words for it. And what Trump says is like, well, then basically what you've done is you've taken your confusion, what he said, your insanity. And you've put it on an altar and now you're burning candles to it. That's what you're doing there. There's because you can't say something there for its mystical. No, like get deep down into what it actually is.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Really go deep into the thing itself. And so the only I don't, I mean, obviously I could, I don't care if I don't want you to change at all, whatever you're doing is working. You're making beautiful art and you're sitting out in the world. Don't I don't fuck it up at all. But the only reason I would say like, oh, some of this stuff is useful is because it can add to that. You know, when you run into some kind of like ancient 5,000 year old
Starting point is 01:04:41 delusion, annihilating philosophy that's based on coming into contact with the truth, how could that hurt comedy? No, I'm not afraid of whatever hurt comedy. I just think that's not how I would get to. We might end up agreeing 100 percent and having the same. And I think we share some similar philosophies. I would be more suited in reading a novel about where the characters. Right.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Go through these situations and like come to this, then I would be by reading a philosopher's book or like a book on the religion. Gotcha. Yeah. It's just the way that I, I've got to process it myself. And, and I just get bored if I try to read it, you know, read this novel. I'm like, OK, I can do that. Anthony, I'm just curious.
Starting point is 01:05:25 What's your plan for the rest of the day? What are you doing now? Like after this podcast, what do you go and do when you're in town? Like when I don't know, I might go back. I might go home and go to the pool a little bit. Like this is my week off. So it's like, try to be as healthy as you can before you go back. But I've got errands to run.
Starting point is 01:05:40 And right now there's a handyman in my, in my loft right now, installing a punching bag. No shit, you box. I got into it. Yeah. In the past like year, I got a trainer who's like a female MMA fighter. And, and yeah, she's been teaching me how to box. She comes to your house. I go to her, I go to like a gym that she works out at.
Starting point is 01:05:58 My friend told me they call it the sweet science. You ever heard that before? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And, and so how deep are you and your combos? Like are you, you've gotten deep. That's a year. So you've gone full muscle memory, right?
Starting point is 01:06:09 Um, I'm still like, we're still working on punches and like I, it's a lot of balance. You know what I mean? I've like, don't, uh, like in my comp, like I, I punch people like I'm, like I'm trying to knock them out in the comic book. Did I mean that it's like, like I wouldn't, I do it as exercise, but I understand the sweet science part of like breaking it down and the timing of everything. And like, I understand why it appeals to comics so much. Plus you get to, you get to hit things, you get to hit things, man.
Starting point is 01:06:37 And also you probably walk around with a little more of a sense of like, if some shit happened, I could probably defend myself, right? There's a little more, more confidence. Uh, but it's, it's probably, I'm sure it's like misplaced confidence. Like, you know, you'll see Jason Bourne, you'll see like the, the, the Bourne identity and you walk out and I, I want to feel like I'm Jason Bourne. Like I'm walking through the lobby of a movie theater. Like that's when I feel like I'm my most dangerous.
Starting point is 01:07:00 Yeah. That, uh, that boxing kind of gives you that feeling. And you're, yeah. And you're, you know, the thing is, it's true though, man. You're one of the most terrifying things Rogan has introduced me to is like, you know, cause he like people come to special forces, people come to like real special forces, people come to his show. And the thing that's really terrifying is you would just never know.
Starting point is 01:07:23 They're so calm. They're so peaceful. That's almost how you know, you know, I mean, if someone's, if there's two guys are like about to get in a fight in a bar and one guy's just standing there waiting for it, like that guy's going to win the fight. And the other guy's yelling and running around screaming. Like it's, it, and how many people know how to fight? Like, do you talk about special forces, people like hanging out with my trainer
Starting point is 01:07:44 and like her friends are all fighters and all they do all day long is fight. Like that's all they do. They're like, imagine, get like swinging at somebody like that. You know, I mean, I work out three days a week, you know what I mean? Hitting mitts and shit. Like I'm, it's nothing. It's exercise, but these people who like make fighting their lives. You would never know.
Starting point is 01:08:06 You'd never know unless it's like Connor McGregor or something. He's on a rampage right now. Or it's like you see cauliflower ear and you're like, okay, this guy, don't fuck with this guy. Stay away, be aware, be aware. Yeah, man. Shit. Anthony, this has been such a pleasure, man.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Thank you so much for it, for this interview. I really appreciate it. You're on tour. What will you let everybody know where you're headed? Yeah, Anthony Jeselnick.com I'm on tour all year, all over the world. So check out tour dates. They're being updated all the time. I think it's through June right now and then I'll have, I'll have more.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Great. Thanks so much, man. Howdy, Krishna. Thank you. That was Anthony Jeselnick. Everybody, if he's coming near you, definitely go see one of his live shows. Check out his specials. He's amazing.
Starting point is 01:08:48 Much thanks to Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode of the DTFH. And much thanks to those of you who have subscribed to us over at Patreon.com forward slash DTFH. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you soon. Hare Krishna. It's Macy's friends and family. Get an extra 30% off.
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