Duncan Trussell Family Hour - JOHNNY PEMBERTON SAVES CHRISTMAS

Episode Date: December 24, 2014

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family hour podcast. Is that what this is? Oh, wait, shit, hold on, before we do that, I gotta do the, okay, I'm not used to it. I'm doing the intro with Johnny here this time, guys, has to mix things up a little bit. Hey, everybody, it's me, Dunkin' Trussell, the Skrillex of podcasting.

Oh, hey, I fucked up Skrillex. You did? I said Skrillex. Well, say that. You're the Skrillex. Yo, I'm the Skrillex of podcasting, I write it down. Hey, everybody, it's me, Dunkin' Trussell, the Skrillex of podcasting, and you have tuned

into the Dunkin' Trussell family hour podcast, which just got elected by the UN and is going to be played in the beginning of the next UN meeting and in the hotel. Are you serious? The whole one or just a piece of it? Just the beginning part, like when they're coming in to sit down, they're gonna play the podcast.

Is it just playing with music or just gonna play? No music, they just play the podcast and the ambassadors and world folks. I'm not even sure who is at the UN, but a lot of them, Kofi Anon will be there. Well, he passed away, but he left a good legacy, at least. That's right, well, they say that his spirit is always sitting in the UN.

I love it, I don't can't do a Kofi Anon accent. There's no way to do a Kofi Anon accent without being kind or racist. So what do we do at the intro? You introduce, your name's Dunkin' Trussell. I've already said that. Oh yeah, so hey. It's the Dunkin' Trussell Family Hour.

You're listening to the Dunkin' Trussell Family Hour podcast, which will be played at the UN. I already said that, let me go down this list. The Dunkin' Trussell Family Hour podcast is brought to you by the wonderful humans over there at amazon.com. Yee-haw! These people are great, it's a hive of humans.

It's a meat hive filled with just a buzzing of. Pack boys. Pack boys running up and down the. And hunting cats. Now a lot of people think that it's unethical that they have those honey cats there. Yeah, I mean, I'm on the fence. I'm not at all, I totally get it.

Oh, you get it, okay. Yeah, because it's the same as when they put the cats in prison with the convicts and the convicts. Yeah, but they don't have to use honey cats. They could have used a different kind of cat, but. Well, the honey cats. I'm a prime member, I'm still doing prime, so. I'm a prime.

I'm prime, so. So support the honey cats and use the honey cats. They spray venom, they keep everything moving. And they're sweet. And they're sweet. They're literally sweet. But they're hurting the people, right? They hurt some, I mean, it's undocumented.

I don't want to speak out of turn here. I'm fairly certain that they have used and continue to use the honey cats to spray venom at the workers who are taking. Well, it's because they take too long on the security lines. Right. It's as you're coming through the security lines

to get to work. Right. If you've doddle there, then. You're gonna get honey herded. You're gonna get herded by honey cat. You're gonna get that sweet slice. So anyway, I don't want to get into the deep corporate politics of Amazon or the reveal some of the stuff

that I saw when they gave me the big tour they gave me, but. Must have been interesting. I love cats, man. And they're everywhere, all over Amazon. They are. Crawling everywhere. They actually had a problem apparently with, during the summer, a bunch of those cats got stuck down

in one of those air conditioning vats. Oh, they got HVAC sucked. Yeah. They got stuck in the sucker, huh? Yeah. Was it the return vent? It was the outgoing air vent. Yeah.

Outgoing air vent, okay. But by the time they got workers down there because the vents at Amazon go, I think, half a mile under the earth. Right, because it's so deep. Yeah. And the factory is built on top of a giant ice crystal, a methane crystal.

Yeah. Well, it's a methane vent. Yeah. But it's so cold, it's an ice methane. Reverse methane. It's vapor. It's methane vapor. Blue meth, as they call it.

Yeah, blue meth. Oh, Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad, man. It's so stupid. Have you seen Breaking Bad? What? Yeah, I just, I realized I was saying that. Anyway, I guess Breaking Bad was influenced by Amazon.

You've got to see Breaking Bad. The meth shot. I know, yeah. It was blue. Yeah, blue meth. It was candy blue. I'm just kidding. They didn't have blue meth?

No, I'm just kidding about. Have you seen it? I know you've seen it and like. Oh, I never finished it. They didn't? I didn't finish it. Anyway, we're brought to you by Amazon and there's a portal.

If you go to dunkandtrustle.com in the comments section, if you go through that portal, the next time you're gonna buy something from Amazon, then I get a very small percentage of it. You click on it, not go through, you click on it. You click on the portal, Amazon pops up and you do whatever it is that you buy there. I continue to recommend bidets.

Okay, I saw your bidet. It looks nice. It looks like it's. That's a lot. You think the bidet looks good? Well, I'll tell you what, it's definitely unobtrusive. It's not something, it's not a big hulking apparatus. It looks all right.

It looks pretty good for what it is. I gotta say, I like the way it looks. Is it Japanese? That's very kind of you. Is it Japanese? You really are a nice friend. Hi, is that Japanese? It looks like something at a geriatric ward.

I suppose, but what a nice place that would be to bidet. To bidet at a geriatric ward when you're getting that sweet geriatric ward volume pumped into you every few moments and your asshole being sprayed with a special high tech bidet. Mr. Robinson. Let me tell you.

Mr. Robinson. Mr. Robinson, your son is here. Mr. Robinson. Let me tell you something, Johnny. There's a lot of things that you could do to change your life. And the easiest one is to get up a day. It's the easiest, there's another thing you can do if you don't wanna get up a day,

is you can go buy all new socks. You empty your sock drawer out and you go and buy all new socks. I just shouldn't even think about that. Got that off Reddit. Wow. That's like a cheap and easy life hack sort of, huh? Yeah, new socks.

New socks, because you have this, you open up your drawer and there is this multi-colored, glowing, fresh drawer of delightful socks. And you know the feeling when you put on a new pair of socks. It feels great. Nothing like it. Especially if it starts to become your favorite pair of socks. You look forward to those socks,

you don't wanna get them dirty. I've got these red wool socks. Ooh, baby. Smart wool socks, you can probably buy them on Amazon through your portal. Yes. Or you can go to the Twisting the Wind on the same. Did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did,

the Farrell Audio Network. Did, did, did, did, did. And you could do the same thing. Don't monger your portals in my cash. I'm just returning the favor, Duncan. You're right. Guys, I don't care what portal you go through. Go through my portal, go through the Farrell portal,

but go through somebody's portal when you're going to Amazon because it's a great way for you to support the phenomena of podcasting without actually having to donate wants and money or buy anything. It's just a cool thing that they do. So do it. Also, if you go to DuncanTrustle.com,

we have brand new mugs. Let's clink them. Oh God, these are, guys, I really honestly was a little trepidatious when it came to getting into the mug game. I didn't think that I was gonna dive into those waters and swim around in the, in the mug. And get into the mug wars.

The mug muck. Yeah, a lot of competition when it comes to the mug market. And a lot of folks are out there mongering, selling their mugs. So it's just a weird feeling. I didn't know if it looked good, but I gotta say I'm very proud of this mug. Looks real great, looks real.

I like it because it's got that matte finish. It's smooth. It's got almost like a black wholeness to it to where you look in there and it's all, it's like the coffee is, there's an infinite amount of coffee. Oh God, guys, these mugs are going down. Even as we do this, I'm watching the numbers drop.

Johnny, can you tell me what the price that, what else they get if they order these mugs? I'll tell you right now, you get a shipping is not included, but it does come shipped. It will be shipped. It will be shipped. You do not have to pick it up.

Yes. It is a double-sided print. So you can look at it while you drink if you're left-handed or right-handed and you can show the person you're drinking with that same thing you're looking at. That's right. So you're not gonna get

those mug blind spots. There's a lot. Right, none of that. How many times have you quietly laughed at somebody because they thought that you could see the design on their mug, but they were holding it the wrong way? Because they're lefty. This is not a lefty, righty, discriminant mug,

which is a big thing in our society now because I hear that left-handed people are about to make a big push for rights. That's exactly the, yes. These mugs are not just a great way for you to enjoy a nice cup of tea. They're also a way for you to show people that you support left-handed and right people.

Well, you're a leftist. Left, right. You're a leftist. The rights of the left. I'm a leftist. I'm a leftist. Yes, I'm a leftist too. No, I think that the left-handed people,

their rights have been taken away for... They're left... See, the very language is rooted in this whole discrimination. But if you said rights, I mean, what does that say? That's like saying, oh, look at how dark and black and evil that is. That's right.

You're totally right, man. You're totally right. So you're saying it again. You just said I'm right, see? Duncan, the language has to change. I gotta say this. I'm correct. You're left.

You're totally left. Yes, thank you. Everything that you're saying is completely 100% left. That's what I left you there. And if you guys wanna do the left thing, then... Do the left thing, baby. If you wanna do the left thing, right now, go to dugitrosil.com, order one of these wonderful mugs,

and if you order right now, we will include with every single carton a guaranteed dead baby ghost. They're in there. How awesome is that? Are they unique? These are you, whoa. I mean, the dead baby ghost,

or is it like a spawn of the same one? No, we do not do that. Oh, you don't spawn? I don't really appreciate you insinuating that I would do that. You know what, Duncan? I've been burned in the past. Yeah, well, there's nothing worse

than when you get your baby ghost, and then your friend brings his baby ghost out. Oh, it's the same baby ghost. Same baby ghost. And they're talking in unison. It's like, this is hardly scary. No, these are unique, 100% baby ghost shipped in directly from Afghanistan.

Oh, wow. The one I got's from Guatemala. Yeah, those are okay, but you know, you want the ones that are like... Yeah. I like a spicy ghost. Yeah. I like a little...

Like a little curry on that ghost. Yes, I do. I want the thing to be a little not happy. I like a... A little surly. A little surly. Every once in a while, I like something non-breakable

to fall off a shelf. Those kinds of ghosts are great. And those are the kind of ghosts you're gonna get when you order one of these mugs within the next 25 minutes. You're gonna get a ghost. You're gonna get an invisible flag that has the DMT written on it.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, DMT, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. So go get a mug. Oh, finally. And then we're gonna get in this podcast. Sorry, I've never done this before. And Johnny, I didn't know what it would be. You would add so much to it.

Well, you know, that's what I do. They fly me all around, and that's what they fly me around for. Thank you so much for coming in and spicing up this cast, my friend. If you go to duckatrustle.com, you're gonna see a bunch of new dates there at the end of January.

I'm coming to Texas, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. And then if you look in March, there's many, many dates in the Midwest that are coming up. And in April, there's gonna be many dates that are happening in the East Coast. And hopefully, I can- Are these live podcasts?

Are these live podcasts? And I hope I can convince you to come to one or two of them, Johnny, as a guest. I will send my ghost. No, I need your real body there. I don't want your ghost. You want my ghost? Yeah, so that's it.

Johnny, I'm just starting. I'm just looking at the computer. Everything's different now, guys. That's what I was afraid of. Uh-oh. Let's see if that recorded. And now, everyone, please welcome to the Dugga Trussell Family Hour Podcast,

America's favorite man, Johnny Pemberton. Man, I'm glad you're here, Johnny. Can we just get- Yeah. Dissidents. Christmas is here. It's upon us. The holidays are here, as they say.

It's not just Christmas. For a lot of people, it's Hanukkah. It's Hanukkah, or it's other holidays that actually have nothing to do with this time of year. Just sort of a weird, shitty coincidence. The Seinfeld holiday. Oh, what is that? Christmaca.

Yeah, something like that. Warned by fifth grade teachers far and wide. Far and wide. That's such a teacher's shirt to wear. Hey, I'm cool. Yeah. It's also, but isn't it kind of like, you know, like that flying spaghetti monster?

I don't believe in nothing. You know, isn't it kind of like a, it's like one of those people who still feel like they're rebelling by resisting Christmas? Like Christmas is just a corporate holiday. Yeah, that thing. Yeah, it's also a pagan holiday too. It's also the best pagan holiday ever.

It's a lot of things. Yeah, do you know about the Krampus? It's the demon Santa, right? Yeah, I've only seen images of him, but what's his deal? Some old Germanic tradition, but he's a, he's, you know how there's the part of Santa where he leaves coal? Yes.

Well, imagine if Santa, that part of Santa had like a, if Santa's the white part and the Krampus is the dark, evil, black part, he comes and he, some myths has him stealing away bad children and drowning them in a bathtub. I don't know. Some of them he comes by with a stick and he beats the children.

And some of them he just leaves them. It's, he's just, he's like, he's has like a goat face, I think. There's gotta be a movie with Krampus in it, right? I don't think there is a full on Krampus movie, but if there is, it's probably German or something. There should be. There was some, I was reading about this recently,

there's some like, I think the government of Switzerland or something put an edict saying, the Krampus is not real. Do not talk about the Krampus. Cause they wanted people to not talk about it cause they thought it was so evil. Cause it really is, it's the most evil thing you can think of.

It looks like Baphomet, but it looks, it's a Baphomet, but it's a story you tell to kids. I mean, it looks exactly like Baphomet, right? What is, who is Baphomet? Baphomet is the video. So Baphomet has a goat's head. Right, okay. Hand pointing up, hand pointing down,

hermaphrodite, penis and boobs. Wow. I didn't know that. Yes, hermaphrodite. That's right. Wow. Represents, it's like the, it's like the occult yin-yang. Cause it's like, cause there's neutrality in it, right?

Is that the idea? Well, it's, or balance. Balance, okay. It's nothing worse than balance. And also he's got this little, Little joint? Grin on it. He's got a little joint thing.

He's got like a little, a little pinner he's puffing on. Little hash pinner. Hey man, it's all the same. Take me to your dealer, man. It's actually pronounced Baphomet, but I don't give a shit. Hey, can I get a ride? Yeah, on Tuesdays I don't drive.

I'm trying to do my part. If it's yellow, let it mellow, dude. Yeah. If it's brown, shit. You don't have to flush it. If it's brown, dive into it, because it's a portal into the ether where the Inokian angels live.

Do you ever just look at your shit? Do you ever just look at your shit? Baphomet is, I like, one really cool thing is a lot of times if you look closely, you'll see that there's a grin on his face. There's grinning, okay. It's not quite a grin, but he seems to think something's funny and somebody who knows about this stuff,

who actually, I record an episode with, it's gonna come up. I would have put it on today, but I've had like three spiritual podcasts in a row. So I'm trying to like break it up a little bit, but this guy is what is called, shit, I can't even remember his title, but he is a Thelomite who is-

Thelomite, that sounds like a crystal. It's an Alistar Crowley disciple. So he was telling me all about the meaning of the symbol, Baphomet, and how it represents the weird, ridiculous absurdity of nature that here is a thing with a goat head, with a penis and boobs.

It's a person, but it's not. It's like a ridiculous stuff together thing which represents the kind of chaotic nature of- Of nature. Nature. Wow. I didn't even think I'd like it as that much, but I guess I do.

It's so cool. I love that stuff because hidden underneath, all those symbols, it's so cool because at first, they generally will scare you away, and then after you get over your fear of the thing and start studying it, they'll start teaching you, and then as the more that they teach you, the more you realize, of course they don't represent

some malefic entity that comes springing out at you to devour you or take your soul, but it just is sort of a mandala to represent the functioning of a specific, the way that the universe works through a specific lens, which is- Like a swastika. Like a swastika.

I actually heard some story about that, and how I guess the swastika is one of the most ancient symbols that exists. Yes. And how they found it. Some place, some very, some very, very old piece of, or some archaeologists found some piece of, I think ivory or something that was,

that was whittled into something, a shape with swastikas emblazoned in like the pattern. They look at the elephant tusk in a microscope, and you actually see that swastika pattern in the grain of the ivory. Whoa. It's this naturally occurring symbol, basically. Yeah.

Yeah, isn't that crazy? It's crazy. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, you see, if you look at sand dollars. They have a pentagram. They have pentagrams. They have vivid pentagrams, and also a friend of mine had a plant

that had a pentagram in the center of it, and so that's just one of the many hilarious things that terrified theists tend to do in the world. They take a symbol that grows from nature, they apply their own darkness on it. And then it becomes like this thing you can scare the shit out of people with, or put on someone's garage door to make them feel pain.

You must understand that these symbols represent Satan. Don't let them fool you with their new age talk. They're gonna say, no, no, no, these symbols occur in nature. Well, that's exactly what they've been taught to say by their dark lord. Well, because they love nature, you see. Now, at first you might hear me say,

I love nature and I do love nature. I love a good salad. I love a good salad, and I like an ice walk in a forest. I'm not against it, I'm not opposed. Here's why I love it. I don't love it because it is of the natural world. I love it because it comes from my father in heaven, who is the creator of the natural world.

And these people will teach you to worship nature, worship the trees, worship the rivers, worship the kitty cats, worship the doggies, worship the piggies, and the next thing you know, you've forgotten the creator, you see. The Lord will provide. The Lord will provide for Christmas Lodge. The Lord will get us married when we're ready to be married.

That's right. I don't know if I'm ready to be married to you yet, Mary, but I wanna get married to you. This, by the way, for those of you who aren't aware of one of the great movies of all time. One of the great movies. This is truly, if you're somebody who listened to this before Christmas, this is the night before Christmas

or the night before the night before Christmas or Christmas itself. And you wanna do yourself a favor. What you do is you watch Christmas Lodge with your family. It's available for $2.99 and pretty much across the board streaming services in SD. You don't need an HD. No, you do.

It's probably actually worse an HD. No, don't want it an HD. You want a standard definition. Yeah. And it is just, and then you wanna just pack up whatever sort of blowpipe you have there. Yes. Whatever sort of brain blasters you've got.

Whatever you got. Whatever concoction. If you wanna whip up a cocktail with rum and mint leaves. Strong. Uh-oh. It's still, if you wanna, I'm sorry, we had a bit of a garage band problem.

You want a strong drink. A strong drink. A nice thick pinner. Maybe like a micro dose of mushrooms or like a micro dose of LSD. Something like that. Some very, a very mild, mild amount of some psychedelic. A double espresso.

Double espresso. Maybe with a little bit of chocolate in there. Yeah. A fine stout. A hearty, sturdy stout. I'm gonna say Chame. Chame is a good one. That's a Belgian territory,

but it's not gonna do you wrong. It's not gonna do you wrong. A Belgian, maybe like any type of anything with some balls to it. And get some like, get one of those like, if you have a musty old snuggie. Oh yeah. Yeah, also if you've got some of your dad's old running shoes.

Oh yeah. If he like kept in the garage, he couldn't throw away. That's great. Get those near. Get those, put them on or just tie them up and hang them on the tree. Put them on the table just in front of you so that they can watch too.

Let them watch. Your dad's old tennis shoes, watch this too. If you've got a crucifix necklace. Wear it. Put it on somewhere. Put it on. Put it on, hang it on if you have a crucifix, even ankle it.

If you've got some hair gel, gel your hair back. In your nipples. Put, do a little bit, a little bit, be as good on the nipples as peppermint oil. Little peppermint oil on the nipples. Gel the hair back, dad's running shoes, double espresso, Chame, and a big old bong rip or a nice pinner from somebody.

There's some kind of edible marijuana. Something, but you gotta do this about, if it's gonna do at least an hour before you start the Christmas Lodge. Also, if you have a idol, like a Kali idol, like the goddess Kali or a poster, like a black light poster depicting Pele or Kali or any sort of ferocious feminine goddess energies.

Yeah, this is a feminine movie. Yeah, put that near, like put out the poster. Some put a shrine to Kali or Pele in the same. I'm getting horny thinking about that. Yeah. Actress. Oh, she's beautiful. Yeah. I'm just gonna get a little horny here.

It is. Oops, got a little horny. You are going to get your second chakra. Get a friend too. It's gonna get so wet. Oh my God, is that where the wetness comes from? Is that what you see? I think so, yeah.

First chakra is survival. Second chakra is sex. Yeah, number two. What's the third chakra? I believe that third chakra is either. I don't know shit from chakra. I don't know shit from chakra. I believe that third chakra. I don't know shit from chakra.

I came in here, I tell you what, I can tell you how to get the turbid spell, but I don't know shit from chakra. First chakra is survival. Second chakra, sex. Third chakra, heart, food, cuisine. Okay, which is food, right? We all know that.

Neck, fifth, forehead, sixth. No, I think I'm missing a fucking chakra. That's what you're gonna have. Is there a chakra hotline? That'd be a great, there's gotta be a chakra hotline. 1-800-SHOCK-IT-TO-YAH. Hello. Hi, welcome to the chakra hotline.

This is Mindy. Hey Mindy, listen, I'm not positive, but I think I'm missing one of my chakras. Okay, are you on our mailing list? Yes, I am. Okay, what's your name? Darren Tonton. Okay, is that your email address?

Cause we have, we searched everything by email. Yeah, Darren Tonton at chakramail.edu. Okay, nothing's coming up. Are you sure that's correct? It's okay. It's okay if you haven't read it yet. It's three hours in Darren. Oh, okay.

What a weird, what a fun name. Wow, no wonder you're calling. Okay. It's kind of like a purr in the middle. Let me just type this in. Okay, I've got you in the computer now. Oh, right, Darren. Now you're in the computer at chakra at 1-800-SHOCK-IT-TO-YAH.

What can I help you with? Well, so I just... Shock-IT-TO-YAH, just let it fly. I was doing my morning chakra meditations. Oh, really? In toning the sacred names, I had just unfolded myself from lavender flower and... Wow, you're very small.

That's good, though. We have big lavender flowers up here in Alaska. Oh, you do? Oh, Alaska. I love Alaska. Yeah, you won't believe how big they get out there. I was there with my sister 12 years ago. What's her name?

Her name? Well, I don't speak it anymore, but I can talk to you about it later if we want to meet in person. Well, just because your voice sounds familiar, so... Well, like I said, I don't speak her name anymore. It's a testament to her. Many of us do not speak her name

if she's who I think she is. Maybe you could give me a little drop of a hint there, Darren. A drop of a hint? A drop of a hint, you know, a hint of a drop. The gargantuan of the mountains. Well, I think we're on the same page here. The crushing of the Dover orphanage. The liquefaction of Father Danson.

That's the reason we don't speak her name, yes. We don't like to talk... The incineration of the heart of... Look, Darren, we don't like to talk about the liquefaction of Father Danson, okay? We don't like to talk about that here because it means a lot to us. We took us six months to get realigned after that.

I wake up screaming every night because of your sister. She's not my sister. She is our sister. She's no one's sister. Her name shall not be uttered. And the fact that you still connect yourself with her in any way, mentally, verbally, all of these are forbidden.

You called me. I'd left Alaska for... I called because I think I missed it, Darren. You called me, Darren. No, Chakra! I did not call to get indoctrinated by you. What kind of asshole calls up a Chakra hotline asking these kind of questions and accuses you?

What kind of asshole tries to spread their awful sister cult over a Chakra hotline, especially someone who... I'm not spreading shit, God damn it. You shouldn't be even living in Alaska. It's too close to the Tiger Forest where that shit happened when that meteor would knock those trees down, OK?

The Tiger Forest is a sacred place. To the Tiber, whatever it called. I don't give a fruit what it's called, OK? God, you got me angry. I haven't been angry in 12 years. You little bitch. You little piece of shit. I want to call up somebody so I can...

There's got to be a line you can call to be berated, right? Berated by a hippie. Well, you know, they've got that. Remember the Brent Weimbox, call it angry black dude thing? What was that? Something about calling out someone

for being a bitch or something like that. You call this number and thugs talk to a thug and they're like hard thugs. That's awesome. There should be a variety of spectrum of these lines. I would call... I want to be berated by a very strong, feminine hippie who's just like, piece of shit, you fucking idiot.

Why would you park there? Why would you even drive? God damn it. You know that Morgan's not going to be here tomorrow. Excuse me. Is this yours? Is this yours? Did you drop this?

It's a cigarette. Did you drop this? I think this is yours. Did you drop this cigarette? I think it's yours. Is this yours? Is this yours? Oh, I'm sorry.

Is this yours? Hi. Is this yours? I think you dropped this. You know, when I was in high school, one of my friends went up to a rainbow gathering. You know what the rainbow gatherings are? I do not know.

So the rainbow gatherings are... I don't know if these even still happen, but this sort of nomadic group of Burning Man style mountain hippies wanders through the countryside, gathering deep in national forests where they reside for a week or so. It's the rainbow tribe. It's a tribe of hippies.

They do a nomadic tribe of hippies. I don't know if they still exist. I bet they do. But whenever they came to, they would come to like Pisgah National Forest when I was in high school. And that is what you would go up there and you could trade them sandwiches for acid.

Oh my God. And so like, yeah. This sounds great. You have to hike deep, deep into the forest. Sandwiches for acid. Deep in the forest to find them. Right. But one of my friends was up there

and I guess he dropped a cigarette on the ground, which you shouldn't do. It's rude. You shouldn't do that. But he dropped the cigarette on the ground and was walking and a hippie started following him, this hippie girl. And like, you drop something, you drop something.

And he wouldn't take the cigarette from her. He was being a dick. So he just kept walking to see how far she would follow him. He said she followed him for like two miles. You drop something, you drop something. Well, what else has she got to do? Yeah. I mean, he didn't have a sandwich,

so I just read this great book about the Appalachian Trail, Speaking of Forest. You read this book called The Walk on the Woods by Bill Bryson. Yeah, I ever did that. Oh my God. It's the best thing I've ever read. I think I read that book.

It's awesome. This is the- It's an old book. 1997. This is the guy- He's like a real sarcastic, whip smart essayist. But he's not just talking about him on the Appalachian. He's with a guy named,

it was a buddy named Steven Katz. They hike most of the Appalachian Trail. I don't think I read it. Oh, it is the best. Talk about commentary on National Forest. Oh, it is funny. Like what? Just this guy, he's like a blend of Dave Sideris

and James Kuntzler, but he's just super, it's just hilarious, but he also talks a lot about National Forest and just the politics of it and just all about nature and trees. So it's like this perfect blend of stuff that, I don't know, for me, for me it was like the perfect book ever because it's the perfect blend of trees

and like nature knowledge mixed with sort of sarcastic commentary on sort of these people now who like, he's making fun of people who are like gear obsessed, day hikers or people who are kind of doing things for a sort of, not the wrong reason, but just, you know what I mean? Like the sort of holier than the owl people

who are out in nature. It's a form of self-flagellation or something? Yeah, sort of, well, not so much self-flagellation but people who are just sort of how, well, he talks about a lot of stuff. He talks about how there's so much, so many people who go to these national parks who are sort of just there for just this real brief experience

when the whole point of it and the whole beauty of it is that is sort of this, the massive, just the effect it has on you when you really submerge yourself in it as opposed to just sort of dipping your toe in it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's all bound up with all this stuff. But that thing that you're talking about, that feeling of expansiveness that comes

when you're in nature. It's terrifying. Yes, it is so terrifying. And, you know, this feeling is identical to the feeling that the Buddhists are teaching you as possible through meditation, that the two are identical when you go into the, any place deep in nature and you're being buffeted by the life energy of planet Earth.

And you're being, you're looking around and seeing just this soaring expanse. And you get that feeling of like, my God, things are so big. I had no idea how big things are. And it gives you a sense of relief. It does. It's like, ah, it's scary, but it gives you a, it's both, like a big sense

that your whole body feels like for a second, it's putting down just a terrible suitcase filled with just bricks for a second as it's out there. You're, and that's the feeling of being healed. You're being healed by nature. You're being, you're returning to what is possible. And then it'll, then you get hammered with this nostalgic feeling of like, what have we lost?

What have we lost? Oh God, what have we lost? And then, yeah, so that's a great, incredible, beautiful, trippy feeling, but it's the same damn feeling you get from meditating, minus the what have we lost sense because you realize that that feeling is possible regardless of your surroundings or your environment.

Yeah, it may, you could say the meditation happens in all kinds of things, not just, because if you're, this guy's talking about walking about almost 20 miles a day sometimes, when you do that, you're just so exhausted that your brain switches into this weird zone where you're basically, you're waking, you're meditating while you're awake.

You're just this, you're in that zone where you're just, it's, everything is the same. You're just walking through this thing where all you see is trees and it's nothing, something really dynamic about it and that's what makes it special, is that it's this vastness that affects you in a subtle way. It's not like a fucking, wow man,

it's like hitting a jump on a snowboard, it's the opposite, it's this thing where, it's like you're in a kaleidoscope. Yeah, you're in this, you're just in this never ending, weird shifting of this repeating variable, which is the plant life that's just like, you're just sort of constantly moving through that and then the more you do that,

the more you start losing yourself. Right, you lose yourself, that's the whole thing. Yeah, and that- If you can't have it, there's no room for it. Yeah, right, but now here's where it gets- There's no energy for it. This is where it's quite interesting. What you're saying is in Buddhism,

like it's really hilarious. Atheists are constantly attacking the idea of God. There's no God, there's no God, there's no God. They're really into like talking about there's no God, they love it. Buddhism takes it one step down and they say, wait a second, not only is there no God, there's no self, there's no fucking self.

Your whole thing that you are thinking that you have discovered about God, you need to take it a one step deeper and realize that in fact, the idea that you have a self and essential nature and lasting quality is that's your God. The self is the God of the Atheists. Yeah, you're praying to yourself. Yes, you're praying to yourself.

And then- You never thought about that way, that makes sense, because that's why people, that's why atheists are so fucking annoying is because of that it's a very self-centered person, I guess I never thought about that. They're worshiping because they're still upholding this one, they've managed to get out

which is a great feat for a lot of people who have brainwashed their whole life into thinking about this one idea, this ridiculous idea of the personified God being the Jehovah force. But if you go down to that one step below that and then you start playing around with that, like wait a minute, do I have a self?

If I do have a self, what are its qualities? What is it? And then you start searching for yourself using yourself. And then the more that you do that, you begin to like realize that you're sort of not there. And that's why when you're in the forest or in deep in nature, what's really happening is not that you're getting hypnotized

or that not that some abnormal thing is happening. What's happening is that you're beginning to tune in and to resonate with the truth, with the, as true as true as you can get, which is what's springing up out of the earth with no intention behind it, other than just this explosion of creation. You get into that shit.

Whew, you start resonating with that. And now it's like, where am I? I've walked for four hours and I forgot that I existed. I just became- And guess where I ended up? At the Christmas Lodge. That's how you get to the Christmas Lodge. How do you get there?

There are no directions at the Christmas Lodge. Just start walking. And once you lose yourself and submit to the Lord. When I was watching that, I was thinking about all the overarching Christian messages in there. But for some reason, that doesn't really bother me because if you think about it, everything you're saying

is kind of, if you look at Christianity sometimes that way, it almost, if you look at it through the lens of Buddhism, it almost makes sense. How so? Because they're talking about stuff like, oh, don't worry about, the Lord will provide. Yes. And it's like, that's, you could just,

if we'll take the word Lord out and it's the same as anything else where it's saying, don't worry about something you have no control over, something will, you're not gonna die as long as you strive to do good and help others. I mean, I guess I just- They don't say that you're not gonna die.

They don't, but I don't think Christians say that either, do they? Well, Christians say the idea, it's like, if you go with a fundamentalist version of Christianity, then you have- Well, that's different. That's totally different, yeah. I'm trying to think of the idea is,

you have this being, Jesus Christ. The Son of God. So this is a deity. God has to show how much God loves the world or to cleanse the, so it's like, in Buddhism, you have the underlying first principle of Buddhism which is life is suffering, right? Not sense of suffering that everybody feels

underneath it all. That feeling that if you really like, suddenly I give you everything you want, everything that you dream of, you still are not happy, that's called in Buddhism, fundamental dissatisfaction. So, fundamental dissatisfaction in Buddhism is, I think, could be compared to what the Christians call original sin, which is this sense of being kind of-

You're tainted from birth with nothing you can do about it. You are, yeah. That's it. Christianity's answer to that is what you would call bhakti yoga, which is that I will fall in love with Jesus Christ. I will open my heart to Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the personification of all love.

I will spend my days thinking of this being, praying to this being, spreading it, spreading the message of this being. I will fully recognize that the only connection that I can ever have with God is through this being. There's no other path. In other words, it's a complete 100% absorption into this entity that you have brought into your heart

and which is guiding your every move. So, somewhere in there you lose yourself to the Lord. You've given yourself up for Christ. You are now a true, pure servant of God, and the you that you thought you were no longer exists, and that's called being born again. It's like Flannery O'Connor. Yeah, what do you mean?

I think all of her, I think I'm not misspeaking here, but all of her, I think I'm probably not Flannery O'Connor, but a lot of her writing, she was, she feared that she wasn't writing, she wasn't good enough for a writer to, her gift was not being used wisely enough. Wow, what is it? I think it's something she apologized to God

for not using her gift for him as much as she could have. Something like that. Yeah, well, that's the sense of like the, the more you start being honest in the world, then you do start realizing, before you get to that beautiful merging state, generally, as you begin to like really meditate and contemplate who you are and where you are

and what you are and how you act, and you start practicing mindfulness and really watching the way you act. It ain't pretty, man. There's a lot of layers- Turbulence. There are parts of yourself that you don't wanna admit are there.

You can't even fucking believe how the more you open yourself up to who you really are, it's a lot of shocking aspects of yourself. Selfish, perhaps, greedy, perhaps you, just things that you've done in the past that you- You can't reckon or you can't come to, to be, what's it called when you come to terms with something? Is it reconciled?

Reconciled, yeah, you can't reconcile the things you've done. Yeah, the hard drive is fragmented. You know, there's like just things in it that are just so, and a lot of people, you're spending your entire life trying to not, to avoid dealing with those parts of yourself and looking the other way.

So you're always looking towards distraction to escape from this fundamental, these like- Let's say you burned down a Christmas lodge. And when you were a kid. Oh, God. And then you barbecued an entire Christmas lodge. And it was filled with infants. And in old people.

And cats. Cats, honey cats. Honey cats, the sweetest, most golden brown sweet, the lavender smell and fur. Infants feeding off one of the honey cat and the elderly feeding off the other. And yeah, the elderly, and you burned it down. You burned it down as a seven-year-old.

You had just enough knowledge, no, it was wrong. You couldn't bear the sight of looking through that stained glass window and seeing those children enjoying and suckling the honey cats. So you burned down the Christmas lodge. And now for the rest of your life, you deal with this constant feeling of disease. You feel like you don't fit in.

You feel like you could never forgive yourself. You could never tell people that. Well, interestingly enough, every single reaction people are having to that darkness is a completely healthy reaction. If it's to try to escape dealing with your own darkness by getting into video games or sex or drugs or TV or your job or money or whatever the thing it is,

that's fine, man. That's a form of meditation in its own right. You've just constructed a God that looks like a video game or you've constructed a God that looks like a vagina or you've constructed a God that looks like money and you're worshiping, worshiping, worshiping that God. And you're doing this because you're trying to deal with the pain of this-

Of living. Of living. So, but when you start meditating, you start turning around, looking into that shit. And that is what they call it. That is a fucking mess, man. That's a mess that can be. Looking at the shit. Yeah, the inner shit.

But you start learning to sit with it a little bit longer than you normally would. In Buddhism, you're learning to begin to like, Buddhism is like a very, it can be a very surgical, technical series of mental exercises that begin to dissolve the illusion of the self. And without a self, all that other stuff kind of becomes dissolved as well.

It falls away. Yes. Yeah, so it's a different practice. Whereas you're doing the same thing in Christianity by falling in love with Jesus Christ and trying to, in serving him. Now you have like lost yourself in the love of the Lord. Right.

That's when I watched that. I kept thinking about that. I'm laughing at it and I'm making fun of it, at the same time. All that stuff makes a lot of sense because I'm a firm believer in providence and things. Like, if you have everything set up for something and you really think about it a lot,

if you're thinking on it and really something will come your way to provide for you in some sense, the providence of the Lord will pull. The Lord will provide. And maybe not exactly what you wanted, but something, there'll be some little thing, some little thing that will help out in some weird little way.

Yeah, sure. And that's the same. That's like a very Christian idea that you have the providence of the Lord being provided by the Lord. Grace. Are you talking about the term grace? Grace, yeah.

Grace, yeah. That is, I think that that. It seems like a universal idea. Yeah, man. It's just, yeah, universal idea. I think, I believe that too. If you're working hard, if you're, it's like, if you're doing the magical ritual

of your life right and you have the necessary components for whatever spell it is you're trying to cast and you have gone through the necessary purification rituals, whatever that may be, whether it's cutting down on dope because you want to focus more, whether it's jogging. Something. Exercising.

Right, anything like that. When you start getting those things going, then. Little things help out. Little birds like swoop by and pick up a string of your balloon chair and help fly. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, and it's true. You do, that synchronicity will start happening more.

And you're all. Wow, you need help with this? Well, guess what? I got a hundred pounds of logs here. Yeah. You trying to have a hundred pound log fire? That's it. Hold on, I'm trying to get rid of a hundred pounds of logs.

That's it. Wait a minute. It's kind of like, you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of some scene in Star Wars when the Jedi's, I think they went under the ocean, but every single thing in the universe was kind of opening up for them in this very, like, Taoist way to let them through.

And it's like that, it's because you sort of, if you're in opposition to the rest of the universe, which you are, or as our Lord Jesus Christ says, a house divided upon itself cannot stand. So if you're opposed to the universe, which is your house, you are the house of the universe, and you are residing within the house of the universe at the same time.

You will not win. You can't win. You can't win because you're thinking you can win it all. You can't, yeah, if you can't play it, it's not a game, it's not a game to win. No, it's a game to lose, actually. This is why they call it surrender. That term gets used all the time

because what you get from winning the game, for a lot of people, means not feeling love. Winning the game means not expressing love. Winning the games mean, the game generally means being a complete psychic iceberg that feels nothing. You're like, yeah, you're a fucking lunatic. You're just this psychic iceberg is a great way to describe it. Like some sort of a ninja surgeon of ice, ice laser.

Ice laser, you haven't felt in so long, and when you do start feeling, yeah, that's it. Ice laser, try to get in my house. Try to go ahead, try to take my stuff. Go ahead, try to pass me. Yeah, ice laser. Yeah, that's it, yeah. Ultimate selfishness, and anytime you start feeling at all,

then you experience, I think, what this kind of existential nausea. Anytime you start feeling just the slightest little bit, you start, you feel this swooning, like oh, oh, oh, oh. And the tears will start coming because you're feeling for one quick second. If something gets you, like in a movie, you're watching a movie and suddenly you start crying

and your heart opens up, you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Here it comes. It's fucked up and you try to stop it. Everything inside of you tries to stop it. So that's the war. And the moment you give up trying to stop that rush of beautiful love feelings coming out of you, even in the slightest way,

the moment you stop doing that, man, that is when you lose the war. You lost, but it's great, though. Yeah, nothing feels better. Nothing feels better, because lose the war against God and that is how you receive the Lord's providence. If you wanna receive the-

It's like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It's almost like the world is replete with examples of that sort of thing. Yes, it is. Of just the thing like, okay, you lost and you didn't die, well, guess what? You just won! There you go.

I had this guy on my podcast, he's a clown. He studied with a French clown for years. What is that called, that kind of clown? I don't know what it's called. There's a certain name to it, but it's a real clown, like clowning in the sense of a very old tradition, not like putting a red nose on and stuff.

Yeah. He talked about how it's hard because they berate you so much. They just, they belittle you because the whole idea is a clown. Well, clown's a very old idea. It's one of the oldest ideas in drama, which you could say that drama is life

because the drama is invented by the Greeks is something used to describe the way we live. It's the story. It's the beginning and the middle and end and that's life. And the clown, he said, the clown lives in the kingdom of the bad. So the clown is basically physical embodiment of failure.

Wow. And I just like, when he told me that, it made so much sense because that's what it is. It's just your, the clown is, he, he's, that's why you laugh at him. That's why, because he's, he's constantly failing. He's, he's so in the moment that he exists in this kingdom where everything he does is the wrong thing

and the bad thing. So it's this thing where in a way, it's the most elevated person in any environment because I make, I mean, I try, it's hard to make sense of like with words, but something about that, the kingdom of the bad makes so much sense because you're living in that failure.

Like, you know, when you do stand up, the first time you bombed, but it felt, we were okay with bombing. It's like that thing where you're like, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm not dying right now, even though everything terrible in the world is happening to my face. So that's, that's what you're doing when a cloning,

that idea of cloning is that when you exist in that kingdom of bad, when you're failing, and you're just cause you're, you're failing because you're, it's not so much that you're failing is that you're putting yourself out there to fail. You have to be okay with failure. And when you're okay with failure, that's when great things happen is

because you're living in the moment and you're being honest because you're, it doesn't matter what happens cause you're not, you're living in the kingdom of the bad. You're bad. You're terrible. So if you're terrible, that's why, I think it's why all those people who are like, who like terrible people who've reformed,

they're, they're such, they're so good at being humanitarians cause they've already done like, oh my God, I'm such a terrible person. I've done the worst things you can possibly do. And so now I don't like care about anything. So all I can do is, is try to make amends and do good. Right.

There, yeah, there's been some kind of like a redemption that has come to them through just surrendering to what they, what they are. It's like when you get dirty. Like you can't, I can't get any dirtier. So it might as well just keep getting dirty. Yeah. I think, yeah, right. I got it. Yeah.

That's like a, that's a very mystical archetype that being doing that. And the, the, anything that you're doing that helps you start understanding the, what you really like, the kingdom of the bad as they call it. It's like, there's a, the idea is that the kingdom of the bad and the kingdom of the good, if there was a,

if there, there must be that thing and then it's opposite, right? The kingdom of the bad and the kingdom of the good. All of these kingdoms are dependent on one thing. That is human attention. They can't exist without human attention. They can't exist without the eyes of a person looking out into the world.

And so bad and good, concepts, light and dark, all of these are dependent on human attention. Without your attention on any of these concepts, we have nothing. So it's neutrality. Neutrality. So the clown can only exist in a state of being opposed, right?

A clown must always be in opposition. The universe must be opposing the clown, right? I think so. Clowns, it's a fool. It's a person who is the, they're doing things in the- Wrong way. The wrong way or they just, they don't care.

But the perfectly wrong way. Right. So that's kind of cool. And that's an interesting concept is like doing, cause then the moment you start doing something perfectly wrong, isn't the thing instantaneously transformed into something right? Exactly.

Yeah, that's it. That's super cool, man. But it's one of those things where you can't really, it's hard to explain really. You can't, it's like a feeling almost. Yeah, yeah, it's a, it's a, is it confusion? Is the clown confused? Does the clown have some kind of clarity

or is the clown represent people who are constantly just sort of mixed up? I think it's, I think all it represents is being in the moment. Like living in the moment without fear. Because you are, you're a failure. You're an absolute failure. So all you can do is be yourself, right?

Cause there's nothing else. Like, look, you've already, you've already lost. You've lost your piece of shit. You're, you're nothing. You're nothing at all. So all you can do is do whatever you want to do, which is be yourself. Cause nothing, you're going to fail no matter what.

So I think that's the idea. And then the moment that you like sink backwards into that, which sounds so like, so dismal. But the moment you sink back into that, then somehow in just sinking into it and just being like, this is what I'm like. Here I am. You just sit in it.

You sit in it. And then when you sit in it, there, you do, there is redemption. There is this, you're no longer shit. It's a perplexing thing. You immediately will switch into, you will go from being these profane to the sacred. The moment you stop resisting exactly as you are.

And that, that, that's kind of surrender takes a lot of courage. Oh yeah. It also, it takes, it's hard to do that constantly too. That's the thing. You got to be real honest. Yeah. You got to be very honest.

It happens to me very infrequently. And when it does, it's like, ooh, that's like a drug. That's the best drug right there. That's the absolute best drug. I think that Neem Karoli Baba said something on the lines of, if you tell, if you, if you always tell the truth, nothing bad can ever happen to you.

Now, that doesn't mean like you're not gonna get your head cut off or whatever, but it is like, when you do start getting into the, when you start experimenting with the fucking truth and start telling yourself the truth, just to yourself. Yeah. And meet the truth without judgment or without fear, then you do, your life starts changing very quickly.

Yeah. I was making fun of judgment lately because I do so much of that. I realized all the fucking time whenever I'm driving, it's like I'm like a fucking judgment death ray. That's why I hate driving so much because it puts me in this weird thing where I'm just like, ugh, it's gross.

So that, I hate that. What you do is, as a practice, is that don't change it. The next time it happens, just watch it. That's the idea. The idea is not to like hear, you know, whatever, the morbidly, Don't suppress it. Don't suppress it.

Yeah, that's like, Christian, don't think about sex. Yeah. Here's a hammer, here's an ale, load of work. Yeah, yeah, because you can't. It's like, there's no way you're gonna stop the emergence of these thought patterns. And so what you do is, the difference is when the thought patterns come,

you become aware of when you have been swept away in them. You become like, when you come out of being swept away, which will happen. So you're like, driving down the road, asshole cuts you off, classic example of just stupid shit. Asshole cuts you off. And suddenly you're thinking, man, what the fuck is going on with the goddamn world?

Fucking all these goddamn cars, and so many people, it's so fucking overpopulated. Selfishness, true. How dare, how dare, goddamn it. Look at this asshole, look at this piece of shit. Oh, oh, oh, a woman, oh, a guy. Not even there for a second, right? It's like you have, you know those sheep

where you can, it's so funny, and like it's a weird evolutionary trait. You spin the umbrella in front of them and they all fall asleep. So it's hilarious, cause they can't stop it. They have this form of narcolepsy and they can't stop it, just asleep. In the same way, the moment that you've lost yourself

in the rage, you have fallen asleep in the same way those sheep fall asleep. You're not there anymore. You're just a convulsive, habitual reaction. What the fuck, it's stupid goddamn mother fucker. You might be hammering the roof. You might be hammering the steering wheel. You're gone.

Right. And then suddenly you come back, right? Suddenly you come back, you're aware all of a sudden, you're like, whoa, I just lost myself in anger for a second. That was crazy, I was lost. That's mindfulness and the practice of mindfulness, the more that you do that, the more that you, even in the state of being angry,

you're there. Cause you're aware of it. Yes. You're like, oh, I'm being angry right now. Yeah, you're watching. Yeah. Yeah. And that definitely helps.

It's nuts. That or getting in a car accident. That is something where when you're in a car accident, that's a great way to meet somebody and have a real authentic experience. Not like a bad one, just a little, like if you ever just having a problem with like having a problem with life

and you just can't seem to get in the moment, small car accident, that'll really bring you right down. Earthquake. You're gonna find out who you are. Earthquake too. Earthquake, yeah. I always think about that because it's one of those things where

instantly everyone's, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? And it's like, it's kind of great in a way it feels really good. Even if it is something bad. Well, it feels, cause it's like when those kinds of things happen

and all of a sudden people are coming out of their houses, do you need water? Can I help you? So what has happened in that moment is the great illusion of separation. The artifice. The great artifice of society. If there were, for example,

some kind of invisible drone that was being pumped out of government speakers into the entire world that kept everyone functioning in a selfish state of illusion and separation from everybody else that kept people thinking they were black and white and that there were good people and bad people and right people and wrong people

and there's this, ooh. It does happen. Let's just say there were. That's what marketing is. When there was an earthquake or if there's a disaster, it's almost as though that speaker, that hypnotic drone.

It breaks it. For a second it turns off. And everyone's like, ah, can I help you? What do you need, dude? Oh, come in, I've got blankets. How do I? You're cold.

I'm hot. Come here. Yeah. Right. Car wrecks and natural disasters disrupt the Illuminati drone and allow us to experience what is possible on this planet. Yeah, you're right.

It's such an interesting thing. I think that's kind of why people hate L.A. so much is because there's such a lack of severe weather. There's something about severe weather in places that just does that. That's crazy. It's this thing where, oh, you know what? No one can,

it doesn't matter how much money you have, you can't get down that road because there's three fours. No, you're stuck. Right. This is it. You have some overwhelming force that is basically reminding you

that you are small and helpless and are dependent upon other people to survive and it's like the longer that kind of shit is, the more you feel that like, oh, I'm just, you know, I'm just, I'm just another fucking asshole who likes to paint pictures and does this. You're not special.

What a great feeling. But you're special, you're both, you're like, it's like double. Well, yeah, but I think the notion of special that a lot of people, I'm special. Right. That notion is actually, I'm selfish. Yeah. They don't really mean I'm special.

They mean like, I have carefully crafted a synthetic personality designed to draw as much attention from the environment as possible. What about me? Yeah, yeah. Well, well, well, well, what do you mean you're out of them? What do you mean you're out? Yeah.

What do you mean you're out of marshmallows? I don't know. You checking the back? You checking the back? Yeah, we checked the back when we brought out all the ones we had. Sure. Cause I pulled in special.

I'm gonna park in preferred parking. Let me talk to your manager. I've been coming here for 15 years. I haven't gotten here for 15 years. I'm gonna call you. You're telling me I've been buying marshmallows here every week for 15 fucking years. You're telling me that Kroger's out of marshmallows.

Barking, I call that barking. It's just no different than when your dog starts barking. It's just like people start barking. Anytime you succumb to that, you are no different than your Chihuahua barking at the door. Anytime you lose yourself in some kind of self-righteous, angry tirade against a goddamn clerk or your boyfriend or girlfriend or father or mother

or anything, anytime you've lost that, all that's happened is you've turned into an animal. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's it, you're no different, you're gone. Just accept that, because the moment you start realizing that there is a you, there is a you in the sense that there is a totality of existence

of which you are apart, but the more you realize that these barking fits are keeping you from experiencing what it is like to- The bliss. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a bliss. It extracts the bliss. Yeah.

And when the bliss builds up to a certain point, when it overflows the beaker, it pours out and it's like, oh, fuck, I'm coming, but I'm not coming. You know what it means? Like a brain come. Yeah. Like listening to slow down tears for fears in the morning. I have not done, that sounds awesome.

It's like that, it's like a little bliss wave. Ah, yeah, you can have that, that's a real thing. Those bees. What? Base. What do you mean? You know, just base, like the idea of base. Or it's the fucking bliss base.

Bliss, it's the, it's the shit. I wish I could play this. I could play it for you actually. Maybe I could just overlay it, but listen to this crazy shit. This is just on YouTube. And this is, found this on recently. Now, as I've mentioned before,

if I ever talk about taking psychedelics or using any kind of illegal substance. It's purely just a- It's part of the character I've created for this podcast. What's the word they say? It's a, God, there's some great word for it. It's, I don't know.

It's, it's just a gag, man. Oh, it's a gag, yeah. But recently on a pretty powerful psychedelic, I spent some time. Gag your life? Watching this. Now, BangBus. Oh, BangBus?

You're just kidding. I love Gag your life. Listen to this, man. I'm a big fan of this kind of shit. This is on YouTube. It's called, hold on. I'm gonna get nice little advertisement first. Oh.

I saw it. Let him go for a f- Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Come on. Oh, please. Oh, please.

Oh, please. There's so many more tones in that. It's ridiculous. But that sound is as close to a verbal articulation of the feeling of expansiveness that you get from being in nature, from opening yourself up. It's that- Being in the moment, meditating.

Yeah. Anything where you're like, you're just, yourself is blasted away. Yeah. Yeah. You're blasted away with that high-pressure hose. There's always crazy overtones that just sort of, like just, it's like a bomb going off.

Yeah. Like a music bomb, a bass bomb. Yeah. A bass bomb. A bass bomb. There's just 12 overtones. They're all in this weird circular harmony. John Coltrane's penis just comes out like a snake

and shoots down your nostrils with a bifurcated brain fuck. John Coltrane's penis. I love supreme. Whoa. His penis has been shown by researchers to have a bifurcated tip, like a snake's tongue. It looks like a snake's.

A snake's tongue. And it goes, and it shoots up your nostrils, and then his balls go in your mouth, and they blast open like fucking juiceful candy, like they have candy packs. They are, and all of his hell of a hot juice, it turns into nanobots that consume your entire skull and coach you like some sort of a weird fungal overgrowth

on your skull becomes this weird, white, shape-shifting thrum that can, it's all the frequencies at the same time, and then you just blast off into infinity and become a rainbow. Yeah. That is possible. That is truly possible. He'll be sweet, man. It can happen to you.

It can happen to you. All you got to do is go to dunkatrustle.com and order one of these mugs, and you will truly be opened, transformed, liquid-dated, liquefied, and rotated, and ameliorated. Ameliorate, well, that's a good word. Yeah, you'll be ameliorated into the deep tissue of the neural structure of the Lord Jehovah.

Oh, God, is this here ameliorated? No, no, no, no. Someone is ameliorated by God, Brian. Oh, God, is it no parking here? It took me 100 years to get that brain out of that God. Now it's being ameliorated by these goddamn nanobots. God damn it, it took us fucking 100 years to get that brain out of the ground.

What do you tell me that's death called architecture that belongs to the state? I got something belongs to the state. It's my fucking shotgun. And my foot, and I'll put it right in the state's greasy ass if they send another of these nanobots, swarms, to try to ameliorate my God brain. That motherfucker is powerful, man.

Do you know how hard we worked digging how long we got all dirt trying to get this skull out of the ground? We went down into the tombs of Darthnon, into the dark dark that cannot be named or felt to get that brain. That's some people say that might be a fucking terrestrial black hole under there. We went close enough to smell it.

I'll tell you what, people say nothing comes out of a black hole, but I'll tell you what do come out of it is the smell of unholy proportion. It smells like a fucking foot exploded when down in my mountain. You can't imagine the smell of that because that is the smell of Satan's foot. It is the stinkiest.

Yeah, you tell me here, tell me taking away when I've been out, you can't even imagine it because you can't imagine this, you smell it. Why, you won't come on down there with me? My child was carried away by gargoyles. And I will never forget that moment, right as we uncovered the final sarcophagus, the fifth one in a series of doomed sarcophagi,

all of them sprang cyanide out of tiny little fleshy portals into the eyes of all who were not wearing protective gear. And my child was dragged away by gargoyles and I guarantee those damn things through him right into that black hole. Oh, he threw them in there stinky and all. I can't even eat soft food anymore.

I can't even take a bite of a cheeseburger. I got liquefied all because that goddamn stink hole sprayed in my mouth. All I've got left is the God brain on my shelf. That's all we got is that God brain. And if I can't keep that without the government coming to try to ameliorate the motherfucker, to transform it from a glowing neural giz blast.

It's what I subside of. It's what I live off of that energy. It's the only thing keeping me going every morning when I come out and doing the ritual of Enoch in front of that thing. It's the home of things sustaining me. You're going to take your way. Hell, there you, hell, there you, hell, there you.

Hell, there you. That was Johnny Pemberton, everybody. Johnny, where can people find you? Hey, you can find me on Twitter. You can find me at my podcast, Twisting the Wind on the Feral Audio Network. That's Twisting the Wind. It's on feralaudio.com.

It's a great one. All kinds of fun episodes, t-shirts available on there as well. And I highly recommend listening to the last episode I did with you. Yeah, that was a good one. What's the name of that episode? I think it's called, ooh, I don't even remember

what it's called, but it's episode 74, I believe. Episode 74, please tune in. That's a special one. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks, Duncan. You just listened to an episode for the Duncan Trust and Family Art Podcast.

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to show it by rubbing a soft, lympholyptus liniment into your grandmother's calves and leg pits. Soften up the hairs there that have become so hard and gnarled that when she curls into the fetal position, it scratches the back of her legs. Soften it with conditioner.

And as you are rubbing the creams and bombs and oils into her legs and feet and into her calluses, be sure to tell her that you enjoyed this podcast. And then release a flock of doves to fly over your town. See you next time. If you enjoy the chanting that you're hearing, you can listen to three hours of it on YouTube. It's just Google search, three hours,

relaxation, powerful meditation to betting monks chanting. And it's on the channel, Meditation Relax Music. Oh.