Duncan Trussell Family Hour - Natasha Leggero

Episode Date: August 4, 2017

Natasha Leggero (Another Period, Dice) joins the DTFH and we talk about the impact technology is having on society and the potential existence of a secret group of enlightened beings.  This episode brought to you by: ONNIT and  CASPER.COM

Hey guys, it's me, Duncan Trussell, and you're listening to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast. Sorry for the delay in getting regular episodes out. I've had an interesting last week. About a week ago, I was visited by the FBI who came to my house and had a little conversation with me regarding some things that I've said on this podcast that apparently go against some rules set up by the Patriot Act. I was a little surprised that they were there, but a part of me I guess has been expecting this kind of thing to happen. And I was even more surprised when they said that they were either going to arrest me and take me to a facility or they said I could have my freedom if I would go to this CIA ranch in Santa Clarita

for about four days. So obviously I picked the ranch and I was expecting, I didn't know what to expect, but what ended up happening is I woke up to a lot of what's going on in the world and I realized that much of what I've said on this podcast is okay for a teenager to say all the conspiracy stuff and the pro-drug stuff and all that nonsense is maybe okay for a kid in college to say, but it's not okay for somebody to say who's well into their 30s. It's baby stuff. I mean, we don't live in the jungle. There has to be rules. We're in a situation in the world where the FBI and the CIA need access to our emails and to some of the information that's in there, not your emails, not the people listening to this because I'm sure all of you guys,

you're keeping your nose clean, but you know, there's some bad guys out there and they, they're not very happy with the prosperity of our country. So we got to let our government do what they need to do to keep us safe, bottom line. And if we don't, then there's consequences as there should be. This is a wonderful country. It's the best country on earth and I'm proud to live here. And so that's that. Really excited about Memorial Day weekend. It's so fun. There's a lot of great stuff happening this Memorial Day weekend. There's a lot of great sales out there. So ladies, you can have tons of fun shopping and enjoying a lot of great sales. And not only are there a lot of great sales at some wonderful shops in our country, but there's a lot of great coastline out there.

And one of my favorite things to do during the summer on Memorial Day weekend is to get into my car, grab my sunscreen, drive down to the beach with my friends. I just love it there. You know what? What? I love the beach and I love my friends. I love the blue skies or how they never end. If you wonder where I'm at, I'll probably be at the beach. I love the way your hands and I love the way that you're at the beach with me. I love the beach with me and I want you to leave with me. Come on down to the beach with me. American family and American friends having fun at the beach. Maybe we'll throw the Frisbee again. Maybe we'll barbecue and have a beer or two. And maybe I'll look at you and say I really love you when we're at the beach. And I like the way the

wind blows on the beach. And I like the sun sets and I like the fish. And I like to barbecue with you and my friends down at the beach. Down at the beach. Oh, I love, really love it. Hanging in at the beach. You can't get enough of that sun. Make sure you put sunscreen on or you won't have as much fun at the beach. How I love the beach again. Come in with my friends. Smell that sweet beach energy. Let's play some volleyball. Maybe give me some shopping. Let's go to the beach. Hey guys, this is Brendan Walsh. Just wanted to say it was great to bump into Duncan here at the at this getaway. I just want to clear up a few things. I know that if you follow me on Twitter or have heard me on some podcasts, I have said some things that could be misconstrued as

anti-American or anti-authority. I just wanted to make it clear that although I may have believed some of that garbage in the past, I am well in my 30s now and it's time to just grow up. Like all that angsty bullshit just doesn't fly forever. And really when you sit down and think about it, rules are there for a reason. We don't live in the jungle. We can't have people murdering each other. We can't let terrorists go unchecked. Unfortunately, some of you might think that your rights are encroached upon because the FBI is collecting data on your email searches and texts and everything. But you know what? They're also collecting data on people who want to harm America. And if you keep your nose clean, you don't have anything to worry about. And you shouldn't be

angry that the people who are there to protect you are keeping an eye on you too. You can't protect people without keeping an eye on them. And if you decide to step out of line, then there will be consequences. But if you're a good person and you just live your life the way you're supposed to, you don't have anything to worry about. And any kind of conspiracy theories and stuff like that, it's all just a bunch of bunk. If you really think about it, if you're an adult, I get it. If you're a teenager, you're angry at the world, but you'll grow up eventually and you'll realize that this is a great place to live. And if you play by the rules, everything is fine. And it's wonderful. It's more than fine. It's wonderful. Life is really a dream if you let it

be. And if you're going to focus on negativity and try and poke holes in the system, then you're just robbing yourself of a happy existence. So get out there. It's Memorial Day weekend. And go and have some fun. Go to the beach. Go to a barbecue. Do some shopping. There are some great sales. My advice to you this summer is to stay positive. Don't question things too much because you're just going to go down a rabbit hole of negativity. And like I said, you're just going to rob yourself of happiness. So I'm wishing all of you a happy, fun life. And if you play by the rules, the rewards are unimaginable. So this is Brendan Walsh signing off. God bless America. And God bless all of you, Duncan, Trustworth, and family.

Far for the ride home, but wait a minute. You don't have to leave the beach at night. Grab some wood. Grab some friends. Make a bonfire and sing together at the beach. A night time at the beach. Watch those waves lick the shore under the moonlight. Let's sing some more. You are wonderful. Everything is great watching the stars dance in the sky. Look into your friends eyes and see how wonderful life can be. If you just let go, just let go. Sing a song and let yourself go. Hey everybody, we have a great episode for you for this Memorial Day weekend, or whatever weekend happens to be in front of you at whatever time period you happen to be listening

to this at. But before we do that, first some business. The Duncan Trustle Family Hour podcast is sponsored by one of the finest, most patriotic t-shirt companies that I know of. They're so patriotic that they decided to leave the United States of America and go do their business in Thailand. Not because they didn't want to be here in the United States, because my sweet friend Bennett didn't feel like he deserved to live in our beautiful country beneath that sweet waving red, white, and blue flag and the fireworks flying in the night. Instead of staying in this country, he decided to go to Thailand where people are incredibly open about sex and there's beautiful beaches to punish himself. And there he created the short design t-shirt t-shirt company, an

incredible t-shirt company that where the ink of the shirts is actually made from Bennett's tears. Bennett who runs shirt design t-shirts wakes up every morning and puts an American flag in front of his bed with a picture of Bill O'Reilly on one side and Glenn Beck on the other and he takes a studded leather belt and whips his back for an hour until he's weeping in pain, not pain from the leather straps slapping against his back, not pain from the skin of his back breaking open yet again as he mercilessly punishes himself, but pain from the sorrow of realizing that he will never experience the United States again because he doesn't feel worthy to be in this wonderful country. But every t-shirt at ShortDesignT-Shirts.com is a testament to this man's love of the United

States of America. You can go and look at these shirts and see the United States all over them and the Sanskrit writing and the various pictures of Hindu gods, Ganesh, Buddha, and the beautiful floral script and the amazing psychedelic designs all point in the direction of a man who loves nothing more than football and dairy queen shopping malls and everything in between. ShortDesignT-Shirts is a Patriots company and I invite you to go visit them at ShortDesignT-Shirts.com. If you put my name in you will get 10% off of these beautiful American shirts made by an expat in Thailand of material that does not come from America with designs that are of an Eastern Indian origin. ShortDesignT-Shirts.com, go visit the website, put my name in, you get 10%

off. We're also sponsored by an amazing little company called Audible.com. Audible.com is a fine purveyor of some of the greatest Patriot books available, read by some of our greatest and most genius political Patriots out there. You want to listen to a book read by Glenn Beck at Audible.com? Well, I invite you to go check out Control, Exposing the Truth About Guns by Glenn Beck or Glenn Beck's Common Sense, the case against an out-of-control government, or Glenn Beck, Agenda 21. I don't even know what that's about, but I guarantee it's good, or Glenn Beck being George Washington, or Glenn Beck cowards what politicians, radicals, and the media refuse to say, or Glenn Beck, the Overton window, or Glenn Beck, Common Nonsense, Glenn Beck and the, no, that's somebody who

doesn't like Glenn Beck, that's a commie son of a bitch who wrote that. His name's Alexander Zaitchik, so my friends at the CIA, if you're listening, you might want to investigate that son of a gun. You can listen to Glenn Beck arguing with idiots, or Glenn Beck, an inconvenient book. You can listen to Glenn Beck, the Federalist case for the Constitution adapted for the 21st century, or you can listen to the Seven Wonders That Will Change Your Life by Glenn Beck, or why not check out The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, or even read Broke, the plan to restore our trust, truth, and treasure by Glenn Beck, or you can listen to The Snow Angel by Glenn Beck, or go listen to Idiots Unplugged by Glenn Beck, or if you really want to listen to a great

book, go check out The Real America, a message from the Heart and Heartland by Glenn Beck, or a more ominous book, you can check out America's March to Socialism, Why We're One Step Closer to Giant Missile Parades by the Great Glenn Beck, True Patriot. These books are read by Glenn Beck, and I highly recommend you check them out. If you go to audible trial, forward slash family hour, and put my name in, you'll get a free audio book. You got to sign up for a trial membership, but you can cancel it at any time, and you get one of these free audiobooks, which I highly recommend. Go to audible.com. Also, they send us 15 bucks, so it's a way for you to help support the podcast. Another way that you could support the podcast

is by going to amazon.com. We have an Amazon portal through our website. I've recently discovered the amazing, awe-inspiring truth that I don't have to leave my house anymore, thanks to amazon.com. You need file folders. You don't have to go to Staples and breathe that weird toxic air that fills up a Staples, that strange mix of cleanser. God knows what anarchists are doing in there. That's one thing I don't like about a lot of office companies is they don't do background checks on many of the people who use the office supplies, and a lot of these people are buying papers so that they can print out anti-government messages and mail them to kids, or drop them, put them in playgrounds, or drop them from trees over kids playing in playgrounds.

It's pretty irresponsible of some of these companies to not do background checks to find out who's buying all this paper, but you don't have to go to these. You don't have to support these companies anymore. You can just go straight to amazon.com, straight through the portal located at dunkintrustle.com. We have an Amazon portal. The next time you're going to Amazon, go through our portal. Let yourself slide into our portal and buy whatever you're going to buy on Amazon. They give us a small percentage. The most direct way to support this podcast is by going to dunkintrustle.com. We just got a whole new fresh batch of t-shirts in. We're all stocked up again. We sold out of everything. Get them while you can because when they sell out,

because of my, maybe things have changed, but in the past, because of my stoner, stoner irresponsibility, it would take two months to restock the shop. So go to dunkintrustle.com and check out the shop, buy some shirts, go to Amazon, go to Audible. Today's episode of the Dunkin Trussell Family Hour is actually yesterday's episode of the Dunkin Trussell Family Hour podcast. It's actually several weeks ago, I did this podcast with my friend and former lover, Natasha Legerro. Natasha is a famous comedian. She's on Chelsea Lately. She has been on a series on NBC called Free Agents. She has Comedy Central, Half Hour Special floating out there. She's done various hilarious web

episodes. She's appeared in numerous movies and is a comedy mogul respected by all and known as the most famous comedian on earth. Please, as you listen to this episode, understand that this happened, I think it was a month ago. So I was significantly depressed. This is before I went to this Rom Doss retreat. Before I got abducted by the CIA, I was in a really bad state. So don't get bummed out if I say some negative, dark, weird, drug-addled things in this episode. But the truth is during that time, I was negative and dark and drug-addled. But now I've seen the light and the only drug I need is the sweet smell of a freshly made flag blowing in the winds of America. Nothing gets you as high as that. Nothing gets you as high as freedom. That's the truth.

So everybody, please welcome on this Memorial Day weekend or whatever weekend you happen to be listening to this on brilliant comedian and former co-host of the greatest podcast of all time, The Lavender Hour, Natasha Legerro. What was the worst thought you thought of me being small? You were just like, oh, she seems like a child? No, no, no, not at all. I just haven't seen you and probably. But why would I get mad if you told me I seemed small? As I recall, you didn't, you never liked it with people call you small or recording. Former co-host of the much-loved, now lost in the sands of time, The Lavender Hour, chomping on bread like the old days, Natasha Legerro. Hi. Hi. I'm just trying to annoy my enemies.

Do you think your enemies are listening? I bet. That's a dedicated enemy. No, you know, you're fans, people who don't like me. You think my fans don't like you? Probably some of them. Well, I think that's pretty dumb, not from you, but I don't know why my fans, my fans. But when we turn on the mic, you were telling me that I seemed really small. Well, when you say it like that, it seems like I was being a dick. And I don't think I was. Because I know when I'm being a dick, like when I'm being an asshole, I can feel the anger. You can feel it, can't you? Yeah. Like, you can say whatever you want, but people, you know, you can just tell. Yeah, it's what, well, exactly. It doesn't matter what the sentence is. If they,

if you have anger behind it, the whole thing gets fouled. And I know when I said that, I didn't feel any kind of anger at all. Just it was sort of, it was weird that it even came out of my mouth. Because then I thought, oh, you sound like an asshole. I don't mean to sound like an asshole. You're beautiful. You're a beautiful girl. You know that. No, I didn't mean, I just think it's the small thing. It's funny. Oh, because that reminded me, because you were saying that were you being an asshole? But this guy told me the other night, he said, last night I was talking to this kind of bro. And as soon as I started talking to him, he goes, you're at a nine right now and I need you at a six.

Wow. That is stunning. He said it to me twice. And like, I was at the Soho house at this like MTV movie awards after party, but it was very small. Like there was only like 30 people at the party. And so I knew this guy from something before. But like, I just had never been talked to like that. And I think it's because I don't hang out with bros. Have you? You're at a nine right now and I need you to six. I could see like, you know how I just laughed right now? Yes. It was, I was not doing that. I was like, I mean, that's obnoxious. But I was make, I said something, you know, I laughed really loud just now. I know that's like, I could see if I was at a small party, like a cocktail party. And I did that huge cackle. Someone would say,

you're at a nine right now and I need you to six. No, but no, no one says that. That's a control freak. Like you, that's beyond even telling someone I wish you would calm down a little bit because it's like, you've turned them into. I was just like talking to him about nothing. I mean, but I'm just a little more animated maybe than like an average person. How did you respond? I was just kind of shocked. I was like, are you serious? And I'm like, I just, I barely said anything. I mean, I think I was kind of honest because I know it. Oh, is that neg-wrapping? Yeah. Right. I know that people say that. But what does neg stand for? Because that neg-wrapping doesn't really make sense to me. It's just like, you, the idea is

you throw off, like you throw out a quick passive aggressive insult to knock broken people off kilter in the, in the hopes that. But I'm not broken. No, I know, but you just do it in as a general rule. You mean to women? Yeah. No, to, I mean, no, it's. Neg-wrapping is for broken people. Neg-wrapping is the idea that by throwing a monkey wrench into the gears of an insecure person's machine, you will cause them to stutter to the point where they don't understand what's happening and you've brought. But who's to judge who's insecure? These, there are people who try to fuck their way out of a hole. So if they feel like they've been placed into some kind of hole by you, like if you've like knocked them down or like hurt them in some weird way, like if you've

thrown a piece of ontological gravel at the windshield of their life, those cracks, they think the way they can fix it, the way they can gain control again is by fucking you. You're not one of those people, but there are people out there who they wield power through solely through their sexuality. I don't know. I think they're just being dicks. The bros? Yeah. Oh, no. I don't think it's that. And I don't think it's that in depth. I think it's just a misogynistic culture. I wouldn't, no woman could ever talk to a man like that. That is like a very misogynistic. But there's theory behind it. It's not like the theory dominance. Right. Well, I mean, that's that's the problem with a bro is he's trying to dominate. He does

not understand. He did not go to what the kind of college you went to. He didn't go to Warren Wilson College where they didn't shave their legs. Right. But what is that called? It's called a liberal arts liberal arts school. Right. Yeah, they don't do that. They go to state schools and do sports stuff. And so they're just kind of like monsters. I think there's also a testosterone thing happening too, where they're just like totally jacked up on like deep, deep levels of testosterone. And that all, but that whole aspect of the spectrum, assuming the guy is not just like some idiot who says that to people and assuming he's using some kind of seduction trick, that level of seduction is so beyond anything, any woman of any substance would ever respond to.

Yeah, I think that it's I think that the fish, if you have a brain, you do not respond to that. Right. So but that means that you're reeling in these like plastic kind of like fucked up people. And then you end up fucking them. Oh, right. And that's like that's like a whole subculture. Right. That's not really a subculture. Hookup culture. Yeah. So you end up. Yeah. So you're weird hookup culture hookup culture. So it's just like people just tan people fucking each other in the underbelly of LA. Yeah. I mean, I don't like that. I think it is. And I would say that it's like a am I approved because that doesn't seem I don't think I could ever live in that world because people live there. Right. It just depends on how it just depends on

like how you want to get your kicks. You've got to like, right, because some people can compartmentalize and I think men in particular can compartmentalize and they can just, you know, think of sex as this thing they have to go do. So they'll go into that underworld and get it done and then go back to like life and like, you know, create and do whatever they do. But I think for a woman, she kind of has to live in it all. Does that make sense at all? Well, yeah, I mean, that's I know what you're saying. Oh, but I think some women probably can live there. But I don't think I could. You're not what you're not like that. You wouldn't, I guess you wouldn't go to like, just fuck a bunch of people just to see what it was like.

No, and I'm sure some woman would. Oh, I think there's something to be said for. I mean, I think it's an important thing to do. I mean, I think that people would kind of people who I respect would look down on me because I don't think I could do that. The more you the thing that I've realized is the more that you go and do things that you think are disgusting or you think are like whatever it is, sex being like one very small aspect of it, then you what happens is you sort of pop the bubble of wonder because then you know. And then when you know, you get wisdom. When you know what? Well, you know what what it's like, you know what it is. Anything. So many people. You're right. You're right. There's so many people who have this just

general this part of themselves that they're terrified of. And then so that thing grows in the dark. And then what ends up happening is the thing like it's too big. And then it comes out at the wrong time. And then they like end up getting confused. Whatever it is, it does not just sex. It's so many different things. But it's like every you should just try everything. I'm not telling you to go out and get in a hookup culture. You'll get aids. I like that way of looking at things, though, to just try everything. Not everything. Try the stuff that you're terrified of. It's like the stuff that you feel dirty about or the stuff that you feel like, oh, what's wrong with me that I would want.

I don't know if I have many things like that. You might not. But some people do. What's wrong with me that I want to spend two weeks decorating? Do it. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's what I want to do. I don't want to let go fuck some teenagers who still live at home. No, exactly. They're assholes at the same time or whatever you guys want to do in hookup culture. My point. What was the scenario? I don't know. Two licking teenagers assholes. Like at the same time in their parents' bedrooms. I'm just trying to think of what a man. That's what bubbled up out of your subconscious. Honestly, no, I was trying to think of what a man is into. Sure.

I was trying to think of the most ridiculous scenario. Yeah. Look, maybe you should decorate while you have some teenagers teenage asshole around the lick. I love decorating. I really do. When I think of a dark side of me, that's like the darkest side that I want to like quit what I feel like is my life and career and just decorate. But I don't want to stop at my house. I feel like it's like an instinct. I would love to. I need help. I like to decorate. Yeah. Well, all that stuff is like, I say do it. Just do it. But then it's like, then what about all the things I'm trying to write right now? And this, you know, like trying to like, you know, finish projects. No, I know, I know. I mean,

so for me, that would be dropping out of society. But the, what I've noticed is that every time that I do something that's like or scares me, if I can find something that terrifies me and just do it, the result is the creativity comes exploding after that. It's just like, I used to say that to me. You would always say like, follow the energy. Like, because I was taking tap dancing classes and you were like, you know, however, and I would feel guilty. I always feel guilty when I'm doing something. That's not exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. But you were like, you know, you have to follow the creative energy because it just is running through you. So if it's running through you to do certain things, and it's very hard to like split

up your time. Yeah, you know, especially when you're traveling, you know, like you've got like two days in LA. Well, you know, the thing is that you end up locked into this. Yeah, you just have to look at what you're in and just make sure you're not locked in. Like you're not the man in the iron mask and you've locked yourself into this. What's the story of the man in the iron mask? It's a punishment where they lock you, they lock this giant iron thing onto your face and throw away the key. So you end up with, you know, what do they say? Fame is a mask that melts the face. You have to like, you have to make sure that you're not locked into something that you don't want to be doing. And then you have to be really honest about that with yourself.

And maybe the only way you can find that is by like following that creative energy, no matter where it takes you, if it takes you to like a teenager's asshole, or if it takes you to like redecorating your ex-boyfriend's apartment. House. I'm just saying. But yeah, I think that, um, yeah, I think that the, the tab you're saying you don't want to get stuck in a way of being that isn't you. I'm saying you've got to find something that scares you. Why? Well, because that's when you know you've sailed into the deep waters. But don't those things just find you? How do you find something that scares you? Like your mom just died. That probably scares you.

That helped. So it's like, it's happening from the world. You know, I mean, like the bombings today, that kind of scared me a little. I don't mean that kind of fear. It's like, here's a really dumb version of it. Parachuting. Jump out of an airplane. Go do that. It's terrifying. I wouldn't do that. That would scare the shit out of me, but I know that if I did it, the end result would be this like thing I learned. And, and I think that- What do you think you'd learn?

Well, I would have conquered a very, uh, I would have conquered fear and I'd know what it would be like to plummet towards the earth from very high up. Now, that's an easy trick. People do that all the time, but it's that idea. Like if you consider like, oh fuck, man, being up in a plane, having to jump out of the thing, the possibility, however small, that the parachute's not going to open. Well, that would terrify you. That would put you in such an intense place that you would, you would be way outside of your comfort zone. Yeah. Remember you told me to, you, you, when, when, um, maybe it was like two years ago, you like had me go to the hospice and you were on the same jag about like watching people die. And so

like I had, I like went to like, and I wanted to just go volunteer at the hospice because you talked about it, but then I had to like go to like six week course once a week. And then I finally got to the end of the course and then you had to like go get your blood taken and I never did it. So I never even got to experience it, but you would always talk about like going to like see dead people or people who were like right on the verge of dying and how it affected you. And I think like those kinds of extreme experiences, you're right. If you can, if you, the more those you can seek out, I think the better. Definitely. Definitely. And then especially if there's like things that you feel, but how do you do it? How do you get there? That's what I mean. I tried to do it. I went to

that six week course and then I could never go downtown and get the blood test. So I never even got to experience the thing you're talking about. It's kind of hard. That's why it's like when it happens to you, maybe it's good. Is that bad to say? You mean like when death happens to you or when tragedy or catastrophe strikes? I don't know. I definitely don't want tragedy in my life. So you're saying through skydiving, you can like recreate that kind of feet, those intense feelings. I'm using that as a very lame example, but I'm saying that there's got, there's got it in the majority of people. There's a string of aspects of themselves that they're terrified of. And all those are, whatever it is, as simple as just ducking out of your job for a day,

calling in sick for no reason, just whatever it is. I found that those experiences tend to be so juicy and really like so. Have you called in sick for no reason lately? Yes. You have? I haven't done the podcast in weeks. No, this is the first one? No, I recorded one with Emo on that I'm going to release tomorrow, but this is the second one I've done since my mom died, but I went into a- Your mom died like three days ago. Yeah, but she was sick for, it was like, I went over, I was there for two weeks. I was there for two weeks, and then I went on tour for a week, and then she died when I got back. So it was like a month total that I was out of LA. And during that time out, the only podcast I did was with her.

Those were great. Thanks. I really liked those. Yeah, well, they were, they were, I mean, I can't listen to them. Well, because your mother's so smart. I mean, she was a therapist and, you know, she's very wise, and she's very wise about emotional things. And, you know, I think it was great. And then to have, to be in the midst of these, this experience you're talking about, the two of you together, and to have that recorded, it was very cool to listen to. It was cool. She did that. It was very graceful the way she died too. Yes. And it doesn't seem like something, I mean, in her worst moods, she would not have agreed to that. Yeah. Like your mom's not easygoing. We can, we can agree that your mom's not an easygoing person.

When she started to die, that, a lot of that changed, though some of it was still there, but it's as you, as you, when you die, you, all these little, just layers start falling away from you, that all the bullshit layers start falling away. And you get into this place where you just, or truth, you're just in this place of just pure truth, for better or for worse, your truth, you know, your own subjective truth. And there's something so powerful in that. It was really amazing watching her become that, what that is. But you don't have to die to do that. But it, yeah, you don't have to die to get to that place. It is strange how like parents change, because I feel like my mother has changed a lot. She's

gotten very like, am I getting too somber? No, somber. Look at my podcast. My podcast turned somber. I don't even know. We can't even call this a comedy podcast anymore. I'm kind of goddamn soap opera. I got cancer. My mom died. You can't even, it doesn't even qualify on iTunes anymore. iTunes anymore. No. This is no longer, I wanted it. Do you go into, do you go into like, you're in like, like, like a philosophical section of iTunes? They don't have a section for it. What section are you on in iTunes now? I don't know. It's some sort of the Job section. But I, again, I don't really feel that being said, I'm joking. I don't feel like I've been through catastrophe at all. I don't, none of it really strikes me as catastrophe.

It just is a radical change, which is something that I knew and I've studied for a long time. And I know that the transmutation of matter can happen unexpectedly and generally does. And then suddenly you're in an uncompletely different dimension. Coming into the presence of it, though, it's been pretty, pretty, pretty, it's been beautiful. Getting that close to having such like intense things happen in such a short period of time is a great teaching. It's a beautiful thing. It seems so weird when you say that, but it really does. Underneath it all, it seems quite beautiful. I mean, you know how old the earth is? 16 billion six. No, that's older than the universe. The universe is only 13.4 billion years old. The

earth is 6.3 or something million billion billion billion, maybe four, four to six. It's been around for a very long time. But if you consider that the earth is four billion years old, and our tiny little minuscule lifespans are 60 years, then you understand quickly that the whole thing is a catastrophe. I mean, we are the rate of speed with which we're plunging into oblivion is compared to the amount of time the earth has been here. It's almost light speed. We're here. We really are fireflies. We're here for this one little flicker. So it doesn't feel like a flicker. It's a flicker. It does, though. Sometimes like, if you think of something you did, think of the last vacation you went on. Sometimes when you're at the vacation,

you're like, there's so much going through your mind. But then as soon as the vacation's over, you're like, oh, look at those moments that I wasn't experiencing. Yeah, right. And it just becomes this quick little movie show of nothingness and blips. So your life is going to be like that. Yes, that's it. That kind of fake vacation. Exactly. That's exactly it. So it's like, the more that you can find out, OK, well, where am I really faking it? Like, what parts of me are really faking it? And then when you know that, then you can just do a reversal and think, well, what's the opposite of that? What would the opposite of that look like? Then you do that. And it fills you with the greatest fear. I mean, that feeling is so

fucking awesome when you really get that fear. The fear? What, you think fear helps you live in the moment? Take the morphine. Why does it have to be about morphine? I'm just saying, like, when that was one thing, I was scared. I was, my mom had a bottle of liquid morphine, and I'm like, oh, fuck, I should try this. She did not seem fucked up. And then I was scared. Well, she wasn't then. Then after you. Did you take some? Yes. Morphine? Liquid morphine. You take it in a drop or what happened? It's kind of a kind of like Vicodin. It just makes you really tired and heavy and gives you really close. Let's try to think of ways of entering that space with that isn't like drugs. No, that's limiting. Well, I mean, no, because if you don't

get there from your will, like, if you don't figure out how to like live in the moment in a vacation in without drugs, you know, like if you want to get to that place where you can like understand life or you don't really know it, because then you always need the drugs. No, I'm just saying as an example, that that was terrifying. I'm not saying go out and be a drug addict, but I am saying that there's like, go past where the lifeguards tell you to go. No. That's the advice. I think that's great advice. But it'll kill you. Oh, really? Exactly. But what if you just try it? Exactly the same way. Try morphine once is not going to kill you if you did or twice. But if you did it like, I just am getting a vibe that maybe you did it twice.

No, I did. I did the morphine. Oh, I did it twice. But then I moved from the morphine to Dilaudid, which is like pharmaceutical grade heroin. So then like, because she had like an infinite amount of Dilaudid. How much of that did you take? I took a lot of that. I took it. Really? Did you throw up? Is it a is it a narcotic in the sense that you throw up like an opiate? I didn't throw up, but I got you get this like, you get this kind of itchiness, but it's like the most beautiful itchiness. On Dilaudid? Yeah. So you go into like junky mode where you start itching yourself and then were you alone? Like it must not be very social. I wasn't alone. I was with my brother.

But like he on it to as a tool to kind of deal with the fact that mama died and we are both just I mean, no, I understand. We're just blasted from it from the experience. So like my I have all these like escape hatches that I use to try to avoid reality. And one of those is is narcotics. And the experience is is divine. It's a I mean, this is like, but you can't get there without doing it. That's the problem is not that you know, you can. The problem is the dopamine hangover, which is that when you after you stop taking them the next couple of days, you feel bleary and depressed and tired and then it's just not worth it. I mean, I don't think I could get addicted because of the come downs to it's brutal. But that's I mean, that's the problem is the

it's the exchange is very expensive neurologically because you get this explosion of bliss like crazy bliss like you really do. I could see like why jazz musicians get into into narcotics because you get this like crazy moment of everything is suddenly perfect followed by two days of like grumpiness. So fuck that. But it's good to try it. Try it once. God, I'm a horrible role model. The problem is I've the more this thing has become popular, the more I know that there are teenagers who listen to this and you guys should not do this. Don't listen to me when I'm honestly, I didn't do I didn't even get stoned till I was like 27. But see, everyone's got so much information right now. But I think it's bad to get to get, you know, on drugs too early.

I think they should be used like intelligently as like an adult. Well, I'm to get you to these places that you're talking about. And then you try to get there in life maybe or like when you said like last night I was at my friend's house and we were watching um what's it called um hip hop wives of Atlanta. Yes. And the commercials like I hadn't watched commercials in so long because I don't really have TV. The commercials are just like I felt like I got someone on lsd who would like just like who could not understand what was happening. Like commercials are so crazy. They're so clearly pandering to people and they just pretend like they're doing this thing that is like not true. Yeah. It's so obvious. Right. Like the fact that that's how people are getting

like creating empires like from tricking dumb people. It just seems so intense. Yeah. That yeah. So I felt like that thing like when people take lsd and they're able to see the world for what it really is. That's why people don't want people on lsd because then they won't be able to work jobs and live in these like terrible breeding pods. Breeding grids. The grids that's what I meant. The grids you know and work nine to five. Oh man. But that's how I so I think that if drugs can take you to that place where you can understand it and then like take it with you in your life that's good because it expands your mind. It's a confusing thing. Well it's not just drugs. I mean it's the main thing is like you find the boundary that you are keeping your find the prison

that you've locked yourself in. Drugs is drugs is like skydiving. It's kind of a cliche way to go into like the because sobriety is cool in the day. Like when you're working really hard on something and you haven't had a drink and you're not smoking pot like. Yeah. I think sobriety is pretty cool. I guess. I mean I don't know. It's like sobriety. What is sobriety. You know you look and you see like all the different ways people are getting off you know coffee cigarettes antidepressants. It's like yeah I don't know. I mean you're right. It's just a form of something. I mean sobriety is a is you know you. Yeah like just to say you're sober because you don't. It's like the V. It's like the very similar to and this is a joke that a few comics I know do various jokes about

Rogan does a joke about like you like there's no such thing as a vegan who doesn't tell you they're a vegan like you know right away in the same way you know with sober people it's like it's not just like they tell you they're like they're sober. It's like a thing. It's like no that's not true. I don't think that's true. I think there's lots of different types of sober people. I think there's people who've never had a drink or sober people. Oh yeah there's that but I'm saying like the inevitable ex addict who's like got a fucking right but that's not that's not every sober person in any way. No it's not every sober person. I'm just saying that people have like an axe to grind. My hope my only comment is that you don't it doesn't have to just come from drugs

that's all I want to say. No no no I mean I that's just one route one way in. There's a lot of different ways. I just think the smarter you can get yourself the better. I think you have the ideas and to get smart you expand. That's what you do you expand. That's something my mom told me that on her deathbed expand and I've been thinking about that a lot like what does that mean expand. That's what your mom told you on her deathbed. Did she have like last words? Wait were you there for her when she died? No. So when did she tell you that and during the podcast? She told me that when I was I honestly I don't I can't listen to the podcast. I won't be able to listen to it for years but so I don't remember everything that was said but is because she

told me you know do this tour. You should go do the tour don't cancel it. So oh I know. She told me I think it's good because it could have lasted for three months. Well she just wanted me to do it and she told me during the tour she was like you know expand go beyond what you are comfortable with and then I thought about that a lot and then I started to think like oh if I want to expand on stage then I have to start expanding in my life and expanding doesn't mean like good things a lot of the times or it doesn't mean doing what you the being the best version of you. That's not expanding. It isn't? No that's being like you know that's mommy issues or that's being what like what your daddy wanted you to be. That's not expanding at all that's just being more of a robot. So you think

expanding is getting pushed to the dark pull to the dark side. I know it can be the light side too there is no dark side but the light side would mean that you're trying to get better. Well no this is like for me I'm trying to run in the morning so like for me waking up at like 8 a.m. when I like went to bed at 3 and jogging my dogs for like two miles. Virtuous. I'm saying though that's expanding myself absolutely not coming from like succumbing to a dark side. No that's succumbing to like the light. Yeah no discipline is you could do both. I think you should do both. I mean I think when you get the imbalance between one or the other is when you start getting really annoying like if you become too dark and you're suddenly like this kind of untalented Elliot Smith or

what's the opposite of goth like a cheerleader. The opposite of goth would be you know yeah or Hooters waitress. Yeah it's a it's it's definitely a balance. I mean I really don't know yet I just like from my mom dying I got thrown into such I got I went crazy and so then because I was crazy I stopped caring what anybody thought and then because I didn't care what anybody thought then I like I started like letting myself go to really strange places and then that is like like what kind of place re-envigorated me a lot of weird places. I can't I can't even talk about some of them yet. I'm still trying to think of ways to articulate it but the effect has been incredible. The effect is always like the reward is like hilarious I mean for stand-up it's incredible

the experience. I mean when you can like throw yourself into places that you don't feel comfortable telling anyone that you did that. Like what? There's a million but there's a lot of hilarious things that you can do on this planet that are like taboo or weird and the more that you do that the more you learn and the more you learn the more intelligent I think you become or at least the more angles that you have. Well that's what I love about travel that expands you. Yes yes travel and that's a positive expansion. Yes you can travel that's it. But I mean like going to countries and seeing how people live that you had no idea. Oh yeah. Seeing how people in Ohio live. I mean that's frightening. You just you know remember that thing like when we were going when

we were performing with you when you came up to San Francisco you didn't perform it was you, me, Neil and Turkington. I came a day late. Tim Heidecker. I don't remember. I didn't see the show. You didn't see the show but remember how Greg took us to this off the route to go home. He took us to some dilapidated shit city and we went to get ice cream in that strange place where it was like it was like these two weird man just like an ice cream parlor in the middle of this dilapidated town that he had like weird like kids music playing. Yes and then we went to some ice cream was terrible and then he took us to this like stinky other town where you could smell like a slaughter house or something like the air was almost unbreathable and that was not the where we should

have gone. He took us out off the path and he brought us to these two things on purpose. Do you think? Yeah because it's so out there. It's such a flying off into the swimming off into the deep water. That's what I love about him. Yeah because he's a well I mean yeah he's a brilliant artist and and that's his impulse is to do things like that. Now that ice cream shop was straight out of David Lynch. That was hilarious. That thing was like waiting for. And we had to wait for ice cream for like 40 minutes and then he was wasn't he playing like Oprah like so there was something like really banal on the TV. I think it was like Looney Tunes. Looney Tunes was playing but then there was like court TV I don't know it was pretty intense. So. And there was like an abandoned shopping center

from the 50s like across the street. It was great. You'll never forget that. You'll never forget that. I'll never forget the feeling of being in that town. Right. That is the thing. That is the thing. Like those experiences you remember they stick out whether they're like positive like oh you're drinking a kale shake or something. The truth of the matter is is like most of these positive things they're generally like they're the potency is diminished. It's it's at least for me. Everything's diminished. No it's diminished because it's positive. Well no. It's healthy. I don't know. I mean like I go jogging and I do like. I'm just saying doing what's outside your comfort zone. That's all. It is not it's my it's in my comfort zone to sleep

until 9 30. That's like how that's like really easy for me and that and and maybe I would love life more if I did that. No no no I know what you're saying. Getting up and like making yourself get up out of bed that's hard. No no no that's good. That's a beautiful thing to do. That is a that's a great way to throw yourself off is to set your alarm for you know you're going to feel great in like an hour and 20. Yeah you set your alarm for 5am. No not 5am. Sometimes you set your alarm for 5am. 7am. 5. That's too extreme. But these are for I'm talking about for people a lot of people earn a rut. Right. You set it for 5am. Right. And then what you do is your alarm goes off and you will not you'll just think that what you did was a whim. And you're like what did I

I'm not really taking this seriously. So that and then you go into a state of mindfulness and you look at that part of your being that's saying oh I'm this isn't real I'm not taking this seriously and then you'll see one part of your being that's not your whole being that's just the entropic part. And so then what you do is you push yourself out of bed and you stand up and you have this vertigo because it's 5am and you only slept a few hours and your head feels heavy and you force yourself away from the bed. I am just now feeling good though and I woke up this morning at 8am. It's like it's like you also need to get your sleep. You torment but it's good to torment the the beast. It's good to stick pokers into the hide of the beast and send it squealing

out of its little nest for a little bit to show it show it who's boss. It is good to do that. I mean that's operation. That's the whole point because the beast by the way the beast doesn't want to do weird dark shit either. The beast wants to watch TV. The beast wants to be inside. The beast wants to do the most mediocre lame lazy median thing. It doesn't want to do some crazy shit. The beast is lazy. The beast is not some slavering fucking thing that's going off into gutters seeking out the dark moments or flying into the heights to experience the beauty of discipline and raising your opening your third eye through diet and yoga. The beast wants to enjoy cable air conditioning. But you're saying you can tame the beast. I'm saying you can torment the beast.

By tormenting it though I feel like there's great returns. Definitely. I mean the beast doesn't create. Then you're like wait I did that. It's like almost like you're not your comfort. Yeah freedom is greater than comfort. Is that a saying. That is a saying. But in freedom is not being enslaved by the thing. Again you know this is just one version of reality by the way if you want to like slip into some entropic pig version of yourself go ahead and do it. Just do it. If that's what you're desiring I say go for it. Fucking do it. I mean that's the dive into the goddamn tar pit. Why not swim around in the fucking thing. I mean because that's the other side of it is you can fight it all you want but you will get sucked back into the whirlpool

inevitably. It's let's cut to a collar and see what they think. I'm hungry. I was do you think people would want to have this. You should take collars. I know but then I would have one. Because you're like talking about it's like the opposite of when they're taking collars like okay we got two free tickets to see Duncan Trussell in Philadelphia. Yeah I would like to take collars once I get the. How big do you think Duncan's dick is. Call in if you got the right number. Two free tick. Can we give away two free ticks. What show is that. I don't know I feel like morning radio has that kind of vibe. Morning radio does not say how big is their dick. They don't. You know that. Well like serious radio you know because there's like a new well there's a new

kind of radio you do now that's not quite morning radio it's like morning radio that doesn't have restrictions. So they get perverted sometimes. How big is your dick. I'm just saying perverted as opposed to. I mean we should probably cut to a break or something. We're back. I mean just making us pause for no reason after like a joke about the size of my cock only makes it seem so suspicious and exciting. I don't remember what my point was but I do think going outside of your comfort zone is cool. I started doing this thing on a Sunday from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday you use no technology. What is it. It's like a technology Shabbat. So from like sundown Friday to sundown

Saturday you're not supposed to use any technology and they call it a Shabbat because like have you ever met someone like who's Jewish who like I remember one time I was working a job and we needed a Jewish person person to sign something and they're like I can't sign anything today. Yeah like from Friday at sundown to Saturday at sundown you can't do any commerce. Did you see that picture of the rabbi. Yeah in the in the bag on the airplane. Why was he like that. Um he was like that from what I read he was like that because you can't cross over cemeteries. So his idea was by he routed the plane that he was going on. Is this his first time traveling. I mean well no the comment someone made on Reddit was or why don't you put yourself in

thick steel and plastic like what a plane's made out of. You know like the plane's already made of material a million times stronger than a garbage bag. So by putting the garbage bag around you to try to avoid. Who took that picture. That was probably one of 17 pictures that were because he kind of. That was like last week like I straight up just got on the internet. He looked like a. God I wish it was on that flight gift pack. I thought it was like something that you would write like you would get from like a holiday party like a rabbi wrapped in a floral like wrapping. It was hilariously stupid. I mean this is the problem. I mean that's a problem. There is a problem. What's the problem. The problem is that these fundamentalists

are ruining the planet. That's the problem. Right. Well so that is actually a good segue into my point which is you know it used to be you'd hear about people doing this 10 years ago to do a technology you know because obviously if you can't even sign a signature during that 24 hour period how would you how would you go on the internet. You know you're not supposed to do any technology any commerce. So so now I think more than it was 10 years ago now that we all have the internet we're all addicted straight up addicted to our phones. We're all addicted like everyone's addicted to the internet. Today those horrible things happened in in D.C. was it D.C. Boston Boston the the marathons you know and people are tweeting things and it was the

marathon that was horrible was the explosions. Right. Right. But you know the fact that there's terrorism starting and even though three people died like they're going to start scaring people and small acts of terrorism are going to start happening and creeping up this is not a prediction this is just what I'm assuming from this news of today. Right. Although you're going to put this podcast up in two weeks why don't you put this one up before emails. I can. Well I'm just saying okay well then it won't be relevant anymore but it'll totally be they're going to be talking about the Boston bombings for the next five years. It's going to be relevant I mean there's going to be but I do think like a lot of comedians are tweeting all these positive things and all

this like spiritual things and everyone's saying my thoughts are with you but at the same time like when a famous person tweets that they get like 6,000 retweets you know and I think that there's still this thing of like people like checking their phones checking their phones like you can't just even say anything positive and helpful to try to help people without like also having this vanity aspect. You know what I will say I think it's very important to take 24 hours a day 24 hours a week off of the internet and that's why it's different than how it was Judaism like the Shabbat 10 years ago. The one thing that was a bit of a surprise when I got cancer when my mom died was how good it made me feel when I got messages from people. I didn't expect like I would care.

That's a very good way to look at it. But the something about and when you get into like a really fucked up place just the tiniest little flicker of light is so mean so much. That's what's so funny about comedians we're here to blow out the light. You think? I mean in some ways like when something like this happens I feel like in the 60s when something bad happened people try to figure out how can we help but now there's this feeling of like how can I make a joke about it like that's how I know about most of my new exorcism. It's from trying to make jokes about shows that I have to do that are about like these political things that are actually very serious and very dark and you're like trying to think of jokes about it. It was you know what? Very hard

to think about jokes about like terrible things. When you look at the master exorcist of our time right now is Louis C. K. and he does this profound sort of confessional slash observation style comedy where he's sort of fessing up to being exactly himself not that great a guy but yet somehow through the honesty the thing it shifted into like something beautiful and then and then in it Carl and Esk in a Carl and Esk way kind of deconstructs popular ideas and but somehow through that it lightens everything up somehow through it. I mean that was something when like I could I would talk to some of my close friends and they would say some of the most awful things to me about my cancer about my mom dying as jokes as jokes and awful closest friends

the most offensive things that you've ever heard friends with Ari and Brendan Walsh so they would they would say like they would say these they would say these like someone tell me Brendan Walsh comes up to the Game of Thrones soundtrack or to the theme song that's his opening he is so funny he's such a he's such a funny sweet guy and he he uh I'm not gonna say but I would never say say it what he said because then people wouldn't people unless you're a comedian you it's fun to be friends with people that dark though is it nice to have people around you that are that dark but every time he every time one of these people would say some awful thing it didn't offend me it made the whole thing brighten up because it's like oh thank god they're not taking this seriously

and then I don't have to take it as seriously and and it is absurd no matter what so that so that's what I'm saying like I know yeah sure a comedian says some sweet thing on on Twitter in relation to people in Boston whose mother's legs just got blown off by a bomb but I'm telling you if for whatever reason those people are on Twitter it's made them feel better in a small through the shock through the horror it's just a blanket it's just a psychic blanket is vapid the reason behind it may be you're right just do it I'm telling you do it for the fucking vanity still better than not doing it do it because you're some dirty pig and you want to get as many fucking twitter followers as you can do it right but if if your brother died

or your mother or whoever and then Lindsay Lohan like sent a shout out you'd probably feel like you know a little bit just for a second it would make you feel better maybe it made me feel better maybe not Lindsay Lohan no I'm just going to get someone who I saw today who had like 6000 retweets Lohan would make me feel great any of them what any of them like what is that that that that darkness it's it's very interesting what darkness the comedian's darkness to like instinctively think of like the worst possible it's not dark that's my whole point of all this all the stuff I was saying earlier is there's no darkness when you go into these places that's when you start seeing like oh shit this is this is fine and then you realize all if this is fine what else is fine

and then you start realizing everything's fine and then when you realize everything's fine then you finally get to the place you're like oh I'm okay I'm not a demon I'm not some fucked up loser I'm not a terrible person everything that I thought was shameful about me was just me and then from that that kind of that that'll propel you into like jogging or that'll propel you into like suddenly getting out of the pit it's like the most vile people are the ones who have their backs turned to what they really are I hear you so if being a vain son of a bitch means you know tweeting some vapid thing okay I hear you but what I wanted to say about the Shabbat yes which reminded me of what we were talking about getting out of your comfort zone

is that this girl was telling me who I was doing with my friend Sophia she said that her rabbi told her because I'm like you know during this 24 hours when I don't go on the internet like sometimes if I'm going to be spending 24 hours at home like not like connecting with nature not talking about not checking my out replies not uh you know returning emails and driving and like freaking out and like doing all this stuff if I'm going to be doing this but I might also want to like watch movies yeah or like do something that's like inspiring but she said her rabbi said in those 24 hours just do what you don't normally do right so if you could spend 24 hours a day doing what you don't normally do disconnected from the internet and disconnected from architecture

what do you mean architecture I don't normally do architecture what's that mean I could like make architectural plans yeah you could do that but I'm just saying like if you if you feel like no if you feel like the internet's like getting to you a little bit like I I cannot stop checking my email while I'm driving yeah no no no that's bad no you're right the internet is a terrible it's like in I'm like always checking it like I'm I'm checked out of most conversations like like podcasts are the like the longest conversations I have where I'm not on my email yes it's a problem I don't know why you're trying to tell me it's not what the internet yeah no the internet's a problem I it's it's also amazing

you know it's magic but at the same time it's like it's a bit of an issue right now there's this uh have you ever read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse I've never called his name that but yes that's how you pronounce it if you if you revisit it spoiler he's like the first Buddha well Siddhartha was the name of the Buddha but it's the the if you haven't read it you should read it it's great I mean it's a that's a true classic true classic here's a spoiler you'd love it but one of the things you know this is sort of the spiritual journey of this son of a Brahmin who's probably represents the rich kid in this story he was the son of more like the son of a priest so he goes off to live in the in the in the beginning he goes off to live in the woods with

the ascetics as Buddha did and he has this friend Govinda in the story and uh oh that's Govinda yeah yeah and so he's been um he's you know hasn't eaten he's disciplined himself to the most you know Hesse is just trying to make an example of someone who has taken jogging two miles to the furthest place you possibly can so he's gotten to the point where he hasn't eaten he's become a skeleton he can throw him like one of the passages is he throws his consciousness into a dead uh I don't know a dead lion a dead hyena side he throws his consciousness into a dead creature and experience the decomposition and the carrion pulling the flesh away from it he experiences the full like full the full nature of pure ascetic discipline and so then he's walking with Govinda

and he says I could have found this out in a bar I could have found this out um hanging out in the shitty parts of town because the asceticism the holding yourself away from the thing is just seeking after a different high entirely so that's where you get into the great pinch when you begin to realize that the discipline itself the jogging the refraining is no different from the addiction to the thing it's just different versions of trying to like get induce a sense of well-being or this kind of neurological high I don't want you to take this the wrong way but you're at a nine right now and I need you to the sixth I'm so sorry what if you just started crying I'm always at a nine I know I've been trying

that's very intense what you just said well no it's that was definitely like I need you to tone it down a bit so sorry that is the root of the problem though and that's that's kind of where you start losing your escape hatches but what exactly are you saying well what the the I think what Hessa was saying is that in what in Buddhism what they were saying is like there's the answer isn't in refraining and probably the answer isn't in jogging or in taking delotted yeah right it's not in any of that is it in delotted is it in jogging no those are two different ways to do it no that's where it gets really weird is there there could be no answer it just depends you know it's like it just depends on on who you talk to

but what is what is Herman Hessa saying I think in that moment he's trying to express the kind of tontric notion that when you that there's no the full throttle pursuit of pleasure is identical to the full throttle disciplining of the self both are attempts to negate the ego one through intense levels of pleasure the other through intense levels of denial what if your life is just to come like a mixture that's fine I don't think we've that's the I mean I don't think there's any kind of one pathway through it at all there there's just super smart people who do great analysis of the predicament right it's it's just an analysis that's what Herman Hessa is yeah he was just trying to like illustrate the the predicament so what does he say when you when

you ended is it better to take delotted or wake up at seven and go jogging I think it's pretty open ended I mean what if you could do like every like alternate every other day joggings better by the way guys if you're thinking of like if you're trying to decide between delotted and jogging pick jogging I'm just saying if you can get there you could live for a really long time if you pick jogging well if it's the same route is that good living for a long time yeah if you're healthy probably it's fun yeah I don't know I don't know I that's a confusing that's a confusing idea I don't know I guess if you're healthy I don't know whenever I like if you feel good that's great

I don't know I think it's good to live for a long time I'm I don't I'm probably depressed I it's like six months six months according to the my therapist before I'm normal again so I don't know if I'm depressed I don't you seem very very much the same that's good to hear yeah I don't know it's a real pinch wherein it's a terrible predicament but I think you're getting some benefits from feeling these intense feelings that might be hard it's like when you're on a vacation you know like it all you know like you're gonna be you know you go on a vacation like I said and then you like remember the moments of it and then you weren't living in it like I think like when something tragic happens to

you it's like the op like it's like a vacation but like in reverse or something and then you're feeling these intense things and like in six months just how you're thinking your your vacation from six months ago it's just gonna be like this dream state and you're gonna like imagine like the most intense parts of it and it's just gonna be like a little blip it makes you feel human that's for sure yeah it makes you feel like you're part of something like it makes you feel real that feels good feeling real feels good and then it makes you feel like everything you said before it was stupid just like oh what was I even talking about you don't even know that's where and then you feel judgmental but it's like oh now you're saying anyone whose parents

haven't died they don't know but in a way you don't it's kind of the same thing people say about having a baby they're like you just don't know love I would just like to know that feeling for like two seconds is it really that great having a baby yeah like you know when everyone's saying you just don't know it's like well I'd like to feel what you feel because I probably already feel that from like you know doing my thing you're happy I'm just saying like you know everyone you're right though everyone always says that you don't know you're a happy person I am you're think I don't know I'm also like no if you wonder if you're happy you're happy you're happy you seem happy you're not I don't think you're in the doldrums I went to this

Jewish mystic yes and he said don't ask God for too much he hated great shut up but I thought that was interesting because I feel like that is like a problem like you always ask for more but what if you just try to be happy with it hey I have an idea how about you don't say what the creator of infinity wants oh really when did you talk to God maybe he's hooked in yeah right I like the idea of God like what is it like an upset stomach for God when you ask for too much does God like how does it what does he get mad well just for you are you that important that when you ask for too much the creator of the entire universe gets mad well maybe he's mad because because you're not appreciating these blips like you're like your vacation I'm just sick of you know I'm like what

if you're gonna can't live in the moment sorry I'm just I'm just done with fundamentalists they're just idiots you're right the fundamentalists of every all shapes and colors why well because they're retarded they're liars they're tricking people and they're goddamn fucking clowns it's like you are not telling me right now that I have to be careful about asking the creator of stars for too much is there a scale yes but by saying things like that you're just sort of doing what Herman Hess was doing how is Herman Hess any different than you know telling you through a story no no no that's a silly thing it's like my I've said this in the last podcast sorry I might tell this story three more times though because it's so amazing one of my uncles gave a eulogy

for my mom I don't know why they let him do it he's a fundamentalist christian worships loon loon the great homophobic god and he came out and he's like danine used to try to psychoanalyze me if you know me you know you shouldn't do that I wonder if she's up there in heaven trying to psychoanalyze god that's probably not a good idea either he said that yeah in a funeral but this is a fun anytime anyone starts telling you what god wants or doesn't want I will I say a hundred percent they're idiots a hundred percent dumb 100 dumb all dumb all dumb that's what you should call this because imagine sitting down with someone and saying to them and meaning it

this is what god wants I know but you hope that people can like are connected or something no isn't that what the bible is trying to tell you the most connected people are the least connected the most connected people are the ones who would never in a million years tell you what god wanted and a million would even use the word this is why there was like in the beginning you weren't supposed to say the name of god there's a reason for that you're supposed to be cool the meaning was don't say god just don't even it's like talking about enlightenment just don't even talk about enlightened shut up about enlightenment about either being enlightened or wanting to be enlightened I have this book called the enlightened mind that I've been reading it's

all these passages from people that the author considered enlightened but the moment the person themselves claims to be enlightened well I hear you I got a pee oh hold on let me let me pause it then we'll wrap it up we're back um what a what a pleasure to see you again oh thanks been too long thanks for doing the podcasts no problem do you have um any shows coming up not this weekend I'm doing uh Bridgetown this weekend I think you should put this podcast before emails no why well you don't need to promote Bridgetown it's a festival you're in well your cares what do you have coming up after that I think I'm just gonna decorate I hope so decorate this fucking house I need help do you have a wallpaper budget yes you do I do indeed not gonna be good yeah I've

got a wallpaper budget I've got a anything you know Dorothy Draper says you should never discount the ceilings as part of the room you should always paint them great great so you're gonna help me decorate my place I didn't say that that's probably not what I'm gonna do I'm just telling you I mean it's a nice idea but you gotta help come to my show I'll be at bottle rocket festival and I'm over it too man may 10th I will be at the bottle rock festival is that a real festival it's in Napa is that real yeah flaming lips are playing black keys that's awesome yeah I'm excited I've never been to Napa who is this who did you just turn into I'm just like now I'm promoting my stuff you asked me if there was anything coming

up and then I had to get into that mode we were just talking about like no you had a shift in Mondarava you had a shift in Mondarava what's his name who sedarta Mondarava you know it I know you're promoting your shows and I'm glad you are it's that your personality shifted I know but you're talking about like all this intensity of like you know death no you turned into this person who's like you were like twirling your hair and you had this slant to your head black keys flaming lips it was just a different different person came out but I was being I was trying to be funny okay that's all I was I was funny I thought I was funny you're funny so you're at the bottle rock I'm saying it's funny to transition from talking about all this intense

like death and life and the meaning of life and not wanting to live long and these fucking bombings and massacres and then to like be like what are you promoting I got you so then all of a sudden I was like okay I guess I'm promoting you went into promotion mode yeah and I'm not I don't even need to promote what I was saying I was just trying to think of the next thing people are gonna want to see you there well come on down to the bottle rock festival in Napa the flaming lips are gonna be there the black key the flaming lips are the black heat those is I love those bands yeah it's a fucking hip festival so you're come on down who else is performing jim gaffigan jim gaffigan's a great comment that's good that's a great guys go to the bottle rocket

I think it's just bottle rock they took the it off go to the bottle rock festival when is this isn't bottle rocket something well no bottle rockets or firecrackers that you shoot out it they you put them in bottles and you shoot them into the sky bottle rocks sounds like someone's trying to be clever and so they shorten well whatever the flaming lips are gonna be there they're great so go go to that and then uh go to Natasha's website don't do that it hasn't been updated in ages she doesn't know you gotta go to her where do you put your dates I'm not doing stand-up right now good for you I'm not either tired well go to the bottle rocket festival it's bottle rock go to the bottle rock festival in Napa look up Natasha online she's hilarious

see her live if she's around you anything else you want to say um I mean Jen I wish we could take a caller right now I think you should take callers next time okay I'm just telling you once we get this on video because you're talking about such deep subjects that like that would be a funny thing to be like okay let's cut to a caller I did I I didn't just the idea of like the kinds of things you're talking about like what people like what do people think about what you're saying I think that would be very interesting I did Tom Green's podcast and he takes callers but he doesn't broadcast the podcast live so people call he'll

tweet we're taking callers we took callers once and didn't broadcast it live we had Tom Lennon yeah it was what he does though is because people just say well I'm not listening to the podcast because you can't listen to it but I just want to say oh there's no way to have it be going and then take callers that's what's interesting to me so they can get in on the conversation and the podcast I did his gag was he would take the call they would say hi Tom I I just wanted to call and then he just hangs up on them it's so funny he took like three it was funny to me no that is funny the lavender hour why why do you have those offline those should be online they'll they'll be back up I can pay 20 a year to keep that can you help I mean why would you get

rid of that it's like 20 a year to keep that on the internet and it's off the internet that makes no sense and like someone already snatched up the the site you can't even get lavender hour dot com anymore well we'll have access to it if people want to revisit the the old days do you miss doing the lavender hour no but I do think it's like a nice you didn't like doing it no I like doing it but I don't miss it I like the proof huh you hated doing it I well that's a very weighted question you didn't like it well I liked it when I was like one of those vacations you go on like looking back I want them to exist like when that dog Blanche had all those puppies like when it was happening it felt like a goddamn nightmare but then like

now that I think about all those puppies I wish I would have been like you know enjoying those moments don't live in the temple of regret okay somebody with lung cancer told me that people with the smoking issues are the worst I know the worst like I can smoke like one cigarette a day you shouldn't I know but it's only one a day have you ever seen the Australian cigarette packages oh but I was in Buenos Aires and they're god awful oh the worst Natasha what a wonderful human and an incredible being thank you for doing the podcast I missed the lavender I like doing the duck or trestle family hour but I think we got a lot of great laughs in the lavender I was a very funny podcast oh yeah yeah that's

true no I of course I mean I I wouldn't maybe if I could listen to it online somewhere if it was on Bing I would be able to you would go back and listen to the old episode yeah a lot of people would where are they they're online no they're not yes they are no they're not yeah if you go on iTunes they're all there they're on iTunes if you go to the iTunes link for this podcast they're all there oh really yeah does it say the lavender hour yeah just scroll down oh that's cool I think they're all there I haven't checked I don't think that's true they're all there wow whatever this was one laugh this was practically a lavender hour okay a little different how you're not making me do it like in between an audition and like you know

and we didn't have time to do it that I had to twist your arm to do those things yeah we were like living together and it was just like really hard this is like now the podcast just got really good I don't want to end it it was hard oh god I think it's really hard to live with somebody that was terrible that was terrible how long was that terrible for for a year was it over a year that was rough that was at least six months of bad it was more like a year right Natasha was it a year that it was bad I'm just saying it's hard to like work and live with somebody that's all it was not only is it hard it's like a tragic mistake I don't think it's a tragic mistake I think it depends on the people oh no I don't know I mean I don't think you can like work and live

with somebody at the same time or you can but like someone told me that um uh what's his name who did midnight oh Tim Burton and his wife that they have like uh adjoining like when you go to their house there's like a there's one big house and then you go into the backyard and it's two like little paths and they each have their own little places yeah you need that wouldn't that be amazing well yeah like Helena Bonham Carter has her own little castle situation where she can like do her art and work on shit and the other person has theirs and then you can like come and conjoin together you know like you need space that's the problem if you're creative you need space definitely you can't live with anyone that's why no that's not true but I'm just saying

no it just depends on the people because maybe it helps you in some ways just depends it really depends truly I mean I guess it depends on the situation I believe it I mean I I believe in because maybe you have someone taking care of the things that you can't take I believe in UFOs well and the same way that I believe that people should live together it truly depends Duncan well because if something comes so naturally to someone and it's the exact thing that you lack and it's so easy for them if you live together then life just gets easier because you're just doing your natural thing and it's helping the other person and they're doing the same thing to you and then it can be really great give it a shot I'm just saying it needs to work

it needs to be the right working try it out that just one of those try out things like when you take liquid morphine you like you don't have to it liquid morphine's furniture isn't in your house what when you move in with somebody it's like you don't it's a deep pit because you can't get out of it right away like there's no escape I can remember like moving in with you is different but I can remember of the people I've lived with that moment of realizing because I hadn't even thought about it but suddenly I realized like oh shit that we are living together now like there is no way out of this like the the key we have the same key how many people have you lived with five you have no I've just made that up I've only lived with you

many girlfriends back I lived with someone but the girlfriend before me you lived with oh yeah that's right I live with Mary Lynn too never again I'm just saying things I'll never live I don't think I'll ever live with anyone again I think you're depressed so no no no I've thought that before I was depressed I don't think I think I'm gonna like I like I like I alone I everyone dies alone I I like the idea of what you're saying with but with more blocks in between the houses I think that's a great I think that's a good idea and and I think that's very healthy yeah you need your own space if you can have it but but if you don't have it and you find yourself with someone then you can

make that work but you have to make sure that you you direct your consciousness towards your personal evolution and although I will say that people like me and you did not grow up in like super happy families and it can happen and I think some people maybe create are able to create that I think it's a challenge and I think that you hit a roadblock no matter what of course and I think that that roadblock hit a roadblock if you're fucking Whitney Houston or whoever you know if you're like I don't know why I said Whitney Houston I was just thinking of like I know the most cheesy superstar I could think of I know many people who Katy Perry I know a lot of people who are married I like Katy Perry though do you like Katy Katy Perry I think she's funny

you know what I I've it's part of my nervous breakdown people who are like trying I like Katy Perry it's part of my nervous breakdown I have started liking things that I never liked before and and like I just watched We Bought a Zoo and yeah and and I the Cameron Crow movie no it's what's his name from Matt Damon from Born Identity how was that cheesy but it's oh Scarlett Johansson yeah but you you like I can make like you anything that's just even remotely attempting to be touching or that's attempting to like send a good message to the world immediately will make me start crying it's part of my nervous breakdown and it's like you I've stopped hating those things even though like I think that some of them are poorly executed

it's like yeah so Katy Perry you know that firework song I like that song it's sweet it's like tweeting to the people in Boston it's like so what so you're so you didn't execute it in a way that's gonna make fucking moracy like it but you still sort of in this kind of very it's hard to be sincere that's the problem I know but it was no it's hard to love that's the hardest thing you just don't even want it no one even wants love people just want to fuck nobody wants to feel love love is a love crushes you it's just like getting run over nobody wants to get run over these days it's too much it society isn't built for people feeling those that the depth of emotion it's built for vapid shallow plasticky

have you ever seen Tom Hanks Oscar speeches no you should watch them are they comedy no it's just like he likes thanks his lover which is his wife and like he's like really sincere about it and you can feel his sincerity and it's like pretty intense yeah no Stephen King when he writes about Tabitha King right when he writes about his wife it's possible yeah god I'm sorry I didn't mean the whole don't live with someone for me personally that's my own thing but for many other people I think it's a very viable if you can feel that feeling that they're that like is like taking you to a whole other level do it but yeah definitely do it and if you're in it just and it's dark and dry and and horrible and the person that you're with is not who you thought

and they don't think you're the person they were with and you're lost in this living hell we'll get out of it all right well thanks for having me um you're so funny you were such a funny person thank you for doing the podcast um you're welcome go to Natasha's website thanks for having me update your website it's so easy to do doesn't it link to your tumblr or something I don't know just see me on twitter or something that person following Natasha on twitter follow me on vine following Natasha on vine have you been vining no it's not for me I don't think my I think of myself as a as a movie director enough to really get into that following Natasha on vine twitter I do have

three vines up though they're really stupid it's all me just getting trying to figure it out and then once I was at the soho house and I was trying to take my friends on why are you going to the soho house all the time oh oh yeah I've been there I don't know oh I've been there a lot what are you doing what is that people belong there and they want to meet I have to object to that I don't like as an ex-boyfriend it's not I'm not allowed to object to anything really but that's gross why are you hanging out there that's creepy because that's where parties are some what parties parties for things you're involved in like what like a work thing you went to an MTV after party that is worse than getting hepatitis well my friend was writing

on us that's why we were there that's not something you should announce to people well I tried that you're writing for I should say wait hold on what a what it's so great to see you again you already said that well that's because I just we just deleted something thank you for being on the podcast go to Natasha's website stop saying that go to her twitter don't go to my website fix your website website whatever I'm going to relax with a branding for like a four oh really yeah yeah branding go to my website yeah you've never done that I know but a lot of like actresses who aren't even comedians have websites like everyone's got a website yeah I mean I guess it's kind of brand I don't know I don't want to judge it I like this brand brand new Natasha

go to my website doesn't care about her website go to my website or don't I don't fucking give a shit I really don't care go to my website please guys don't go to her website please go to my website leave the website alone do not go to the message tweet at me don't tweet unfollow her tell me you want to lick my butthole unfollow her on twitter but first tell her you want to lick her butthole don't go to her website completely disengage from her send me some money on paypal go to her amazon wish list I do have one I'm starting it are you fucking kidding why not everyone sends me this everyone sends me letters all the time I want to start sending him my wish list are you joking I thought it'd be funny oh I mean I know

prostitutes do that no I think it's great you should do it I mean no one's gonna send me anything why don't you become a prostitute an amazon wish list I thought it would be a funny thing what do you think you could charge would you could charge for sex what do you yeah hmm I don't know I mean you have you're famous you're you're you're a famous comedian you have this huge name what do you think is like what would what do you think you could I bet you could charge like 20 20 thousand dollars that would be hilarious I bet you could charge 20 thousand dollars I bet you could charge I bet you could get it up to like it would be interesting to see what you could get it up to I bet you could get it up to like

I'm just gonna put like books I want on my amazon wish list 30k okay Saudi Prince level I mean that's very flattering thank you that is a compliment isn't it 30 thousand dollars I don't know if I would do it you wouldn't I don't think so well you have to use condoms you have to practice safe sex I know but imagine if I fucked some Saudi Prince for 30 grand I would never get that out of my mind fucking him it would haunt me someone told me today that Janine Garofalo

yeah had to go to therapy to get the mod theme song out of her head to get what out of her head the mod theme song the theme song to the tv show mod from the 70s that's amazing that sucks but imagine fucking some nasty ass guy I mean think of the therapy you'd have to spend at least what you made in therapy yeah I mean I don't know because not just because you fucked some gross dude but because you did it for money that's where it gets weird I think you're assuming he's gross why's he got to pay for sex he's a Saudi Prince he's bored he watches Chelsea lately he wants like you Kirkman Chelsea he's bidding he just wants to

fuck that he wants to fuck every maybe he wants to fuck every girl who's been on Chelsea lately and caparillo maybe that's his goal so he's just like throwing money out there who knows I mean just because you have a ton of money and pay for sex doesn't necessarily mean you're ugly mean you're ugly it just might mean that you're precise I hear you so there you go guys if you want to sleep with Natasha Legerro she is 50,000 50k to start she's gonna start a Kickstarter something Kickstarter it's just a PayPal account that you a pay she's gonna start a PayPal account I mean PayPal you know what I'll tell you I'll tell you this prostitutes must have paid if you did a documentary about you deciding to become a prostitute

and starting a public campaign to see how much you could get to have sex with someone and then following through with it that would be an incredible incredible documentary why don't you make that documentary about yourself no one's gonna pay to fuck me it's totally different like that's a it wouldn't work well thanks for the career advice I really appreciate it that is a terrible terrible advice I have to tell you all right all right thank you Natasha what a funny ending bye bye thanks for listening everybody that was Natasha Legerro and you can find everything out about

her that you need to find out by going to natashalegerro.com now please enjoy this great patriotic summer beach song by Juice Music it's available on iTunes and it's called let's go to the beach if you like this episode give us a nice rating on iTunes won't you let's go to the beach sand on my feet I've got my hat got my towel let's go to the beach let's go to the beach with all the waves around halfway to get on down let's go to the beach let's go let's go let's go to the beach let's go to the beach in the summer heat splashing around under the sun let's go to the beach let's go to the beach oh what a treat i'm gonna have so much fun let's go to the beach

let's go let's go let's go come on let's go to the beach let's go let's go let's go to the beach let's go you