Dungeons and Daddies - S3 Ep. 11 - Dial M for Murder, Murder, Murder

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Francis works his second job. Kelsey watches her favorite show. And Trudy reunites with her 2.5 beauuuuuuutiful children.This episode contains Profanity, Sexual ContentSupport the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Twitter @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Will Campos (@willbcampos)Kelsey Grammar is Matt Arnold (@mattlarnold)Francis Farnsworth is Anthony Burch (@anthony_burch)Trudy Trout is Beth May (@heybethmay)Tony Collette is Freddie Wong (@fwong)Theme song is by Maxton WallerBrian Fernandes is our Content ProducerAshley Nicollette is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorCindy Denton is our Merch ManagerEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves provides Additional EditingRobin Rapp is our TranscriberCover art and episode art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Send us stuff and get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dungeons and Dice is brought to you this week by AG1. Wow. Matt, you got the pack. What was in it? They provide you a nice bottle that's easy to mix in and they have this nice little like metal container so you can put it in the fridge because after you open it you gotta keep it refrigerated because it's full of such good fresh shit. It's gotta be refrigerated. That's how you know it's good. It's not just a bunch of preserves in there. It's the real stuff. So I put that in there. I mix it up. I've actually been doing every morning for the last, you know, two mornings

So that's a good it's good, you know two times not pattern yet. It's going dude. I got the UAV I don't have the helicopter yet, but it's a streak. I Got my a see where the guys are. He's gonna help me do the kill streak by getting more kills Yeah in 60 seconds Matt gets his daily dose of vitamins minerals pre and probiotics probiotics, adaptogens and more to support your digestion and keep you regular, dog. 97% of participants felt digestion improved after 90 days. Go on to my little secret. This is genuine, this is true.

Don't look at me like I'm not gonna say something good for the stat frame, I'm giving you something good right here. Mix it halfway with a little bit of vanilla almond milk. Goes down smooth, delicious. Honestly, it's good. Like it tastes good. Like I'm like, even if it wasn't healthy, I'm like, hey, that's a pretty delicious treat.

Enjoy it. Convinced me. AG1 is made from bioavailable ingredients that work with your body. It's a powder form, easy to access, nutrient dense ingredients in the formula. Just one daily scoop provides whole body benefits like gut, immune, and stress support.

You know, support your gut dog help Go with your digest start with a g1 and notice the difference for yourself You know what they say about gut health. That's where good, but health starts true Where's the lie starts in the gut goes to the butt you healthy gut healthy, but start with a g1 I know this life healthy gut healthy building so start with a g1 and notice the different happy, but What start with a g1 and notice the difference for yourself? It's bud. What? What? Start with AG1 and notice the difference for yourself. It's a great first step to investing in your health, and that's why we're excited to be partnering with them.

Try AG1 and get a free bottle of vitamin D3K2. I thought this was Leet Speak. D3K2. Dex. No, D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash Dungeons and Daddies. All one word. I bring those travel packs on tour. That's a $48. That's a $48 value for free if you go to drinkag1.com slash Dungeons and Daddies. Check it out.

Hey, Beth here and I want to thank my fellow daddies for giving me a chance to tell you about something kind of cool going on in the world of me. So you might know that I did a one woman show last year in Los Angeles, but you might not know that I'm planning on taking it international next year. Yep, I just launched a Kickstarter to take my solo show, Beth Wants the D, to Hollywood Fringe and Edinburgh Fringe in 2025.

A little bit about the show, Beth Wants the D is a rip roaring comedy adventure about my journey with type 1 bipolar disorder. It puts you in the splash zone of death and delusion through bizarre highs and perilous lows as I knit together comedy and drama to reveal the scariest thing of all, a future full of hope. I've got an amazing team behind me with some wonderful perks if you choose to donate. This show obviously means a lot to me and I think it's an important show to do in the

world where severe mental illness is still so stigmatized. if you choose to donate. This show obviously means a lot to me, and I think it's an important show to do in the world where severe mental illness is still so stigmatized. Love and humor are resilient, and so are we. So if you're interested, please check out my Kickstarter link in the show notes. Appreciate you, take care, and now enjoy the episode. Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups.

Content warnings can be found in the episode description. My name is Tony Collette, and if you're hearing this, I'm dead. for grownups. Content warnings can be foaming at the mount. You'll be so covered in foam, nobody will even see you as you slither your way to Tony's Cars Cars Cars. But watch out! The doors are closing soon. If you don't act now, someone might beat you inside. And then you'll be stuck with Mother. And boy will she be mad and hungry. Because you didn't take her to a lovely meal this Mother's Day in a shiny Cadillac from Tony's Cars, Cars, Cars.

Mother after all demands sacrifice. So when you get here, ask for me, Tony Collette. I had a dream last night where I foresaw the matter of my own death. It was horrible, excruciating, a pain unlike any other. The pain of leaving a single car unrented at Tony's Cars, Cars, Cars, which is why I'm offering my whole body of cars as a human sacrifice to you. If you're looking for a steal on a pretty saddle wheel, come on down and make a deal

at Tony's Cars, Cars, Cars. and we will come on down and make a deal until these colors are gone. We are T.A.R.S.E. Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies not... Wait, hold on. Let's have a good one, folks. Yay! Amen. Amen. And twins. And twins. And twins. And twins.

And twins. And twins. And twins. And twins. And twins. Yay! Yay! Amen. Amen. And twins. And twins. And twins. And twins.

Welcome to Dungeons and Daddy's not a BDSM podcast. It's not! And also with you. Oh. And also with you. This season, a peachy podcast. What does one twin say to the other? And also with you.

Oh wow! It's like that Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVita movie. Yeah, this is the peachyville horror a call to through a very Call to do actual play. Oh, yeah, we should be in mourning for Tony right over the fire. Yeah, right Oh, yeah, and we're supposed to be doing yeah, sorry Yeah, Tony this intro is all off. It's supposed to be scary and sad. Let's try again. Go Freddie This is a peachyville horror as a call. It's called Cthulhu Actual Play Horror Comedy Podcast. About four... three I guess.

Everyday Shmoes fighting... Please tell me this isn't your new character. No, no. Just a sad reporter. We can't have two sad sack pieces of shit on the same team. Dude, a sad reporter voice is the best though. Do you know what I mean? There's another tornado

for everyday even care For every day schmoes fighting the forces of darkness in suburban 1950s America. My name is Freddie Wong and I play not yet Hint fact do you want to give like a tantalizing like pre character? I think that's like start over like we meet Like we get a retroactive dad. Yeah I'll give a little hint about this figure. He knows the layout of all of your homes Wow Santa, okay Okay. Dude Santa would be a good way. How would Santa?

How would Santa? How would Santa that be? How would Santa that be? Freddie, I think it's time to revise whatever your plan was. I'm changing the full character right now. Hold on, hold on. We gotta cut and redo some stuff on my end.

I'm putting a lot of points in gift giving. The idea that Santa knows the layout of your house is so scary for someone. He has an ultimate self too. Nobody ever seen that. Santa's like, it's giving. Oh my God. All right.

Santa is Santa-ing. Boo, shoo. Boo, shoo. Hi everybody. My name is Matthew Arnold. I play Kelsey grammar, Peachyville's happiest and happiest school mom. And you know what Kelsey always says, unlike a bag of candy, you never run out of things to learn.

So if you learn to love learning as much as you love candy, you'll always, you'll always you always be happy She has a hard time condensing her ideas into Nice clear statements, which has made writing encyclopedia of incredibly laborious. She's miserable She's very excited to get to E where she can learn about editing or maybe C, copy editing, which she's on C right now. So maybe she'll start learning that. You said she was on D recently.

I feel like we're a little all over the map with where Kelsey is. No, we've been on C. Yeah, you said D. We're on D now. D. Where did she find the time? Sounds like she kind of blasted her way through C pretty quickly. You know what?

You four are going to get a little detention if you keep playing Final Kelsey. What's she going to do, accept a demon god into her soul and ruin everything for everyone? She just read about demons. She made a mistake. Anthony. Oh, right. I'm the next guy.

You're next. I'm Anthony Burch. You can put down your scene tech. I'm playing UFO 50. It's pretty good. I highly recommend it. That's my dad fact. I'm Anthony Burch.

I play Francis Farnsworth a kid with a gun and That's I mean, that's all he could be now and Francis's peachy fact is that as he mentioned last episode He is colorblind, but he's the worst kind of cut like the full-on black and white colorblind So when he went to go see I'm sorry colorblind people. I didn't mean it say like... I'm colorblind and it doesn't bother... If anybody gets offended by that, like, shut up. Like, I'm colorblind. I speak for all colorblind people right now. That's fair. We're fine.

You're gonna get a letter from, like, the colorblind organization revoking your card. Great. They can't even find my house. It's green. So yeah, when he went to go see the Wizard of Oz, the second Dorothy arrives in Oz and everybody gasp really loud, he thought that it was just everybody also having his big crush on Judy Garland as he did. And he was like, Oh, I connect with these people. Don't ever tell friends. You know, all that, that snow in that movie, asbestos, really, asbestos, the kid.

Hi, my name is Beth May and I play Trudy Trout, a robot, doting wife, homemaker, and mother of 2.5 beautiful children. I don't know about this fact. Wow. I love the comments. We've never seen Beth defeated before the show even began. Well, okay, so as we know.

As we know. As we know, there were certain topics in the fifties that were a little bit taboo, including masturbation. Well, it's still taboo. You shouldn't be doing it. But Trudy has like really never been secretive about that. She does it and that she's really really good at it And um that's something that she loves to do. I mean kind of why she's part computer No

You did just accidentally humanize Tucker a little bit because that means he actually went through the effort of programming the ability to have an orgasm in view Never mind Beyond her programming Anthony Anthony this is just her re jiggering the programming for like cake mixing Wow Yeah, that's how women masturbate for it. Yeah. Figurously, with a counterclockwise motion for 20 minutes.

Yep. Well, no, definitely it would be cake mixing a cake, you know. Don't want to over beat the eggs. Oh, God forbid. They say if you want to mix a cake, dig two graves. Pfft. I don't know what that means. Good, I don't know why.

Hi, everyone. I'm Will Campos. I am your Daddy-O Master. My dad fact for today is that in addition to various gases, a dead human body releases around 30 different chemical compounds. The gases and compounds produced in a decomposing body emit distinct odors. While not all compounds produce odors, several compounds do have recognizable odors, including cadaverine and putrescine, which smell like rotting flesh. Skittole has a strong feces odor. Indole has a mustier mothball-like smell. Hydrogen sulfide, of course, smells like rotting eggs. Methanethiol smells of rotting cabbage,

and dimethyl disulfide and tri-sulfide have a foul garlic like odor. Oh, I have an indole fat. You have an indole fat? I do. I, Freddie Wong, took a perfume class. And one of the core components of like perfume notes is indole. And I found that I could not smell it. Oh, wow. Whatsoever.

Is that like the only hobby you've like failed at? Well, here's what's crazy because I was like, I can't smell this at all. And then as a result the perfume I mix up smelled like poop Gas I'm releasing when I die is this mixtape Bed is literally face palming in a real life right now, which he just said. It's pretty fucking good. Alright, let's dive into it, y'all. Let's go!

When last we left, Tony Collette, dear beloved used car salesman, unbeknownst to any of you because you ran out of the room when Tucker blew up, has shuffled his mortal coil and escaped The surly bonds of earth He didn't leave anybody behind. He didn't have any family or anybody. No, I don't think so His dad's yes his Italian dad's he's like Tom Cruise at the end of collateral. He's just gonna be like is anybody gonna notice Guy on the LA subway gets smushed by a big space vagina and no one even notices Each chain roll with it Remember that part where Tom Cruise says hey homies and then shoots three people in three seconds

That's the best thing that's ever happened in movies It's one of the greatest scenes in all movies Fucking rules Michael Mann cooked with this one Oh fuck The three of you in last few lives I'm gonna watch that real quick with a sound real low with this one. Oh, fuck. The three of you in last year. I'm gonna watch it real quick with the sound Yo homie, is that my briefcase?

Is it your briefcase? Yeah it is. Why, you want it back? I told you what! That was nothing. Meanwhile, Trudy, Francis, and Kelsey have escaped the Project Heartland bunker, and you've all managed to make it outside, gazing out at the twinkling lights of Peachuville in the middle of the night. You have this quest before you.

You have three keys to gather from the three facilities of Project Heartland, the archives, the containment facility, and research. And you now have this whole cool open world adventure waiting up. The map just opened up, guys. So we're out in the woods? Yes, you're sort of waiting on the map just open up guys on the woods Yes, you're sort of like on a hill in the woods overlooking the town You can see the fire still rising from the bunker I was waist-high barricades on the bridge are just going the way so yeah the traffic jam on the freeway to the other part I'm being like oh no this part of city's getting repaired right now come back later

There's like waist-high bushes between groups of trees for some reason. That you can't go there. I believe Will's saying that you can now harvest goods for crafting materials now. We gotta open our skill tree now. I can finally save and go to the bathroom. That was a long cutscene, dude. The whole map is open to you now. You are free to go in whatever direction you please. Francis, Trudy, stay close. you guys are small and sneaky Pete's about You are all exhausted it has been an extremely long day we level up at any point

Well, maybe you'll see if you go to sleep and then wake up. Maybe there'll be some stuff Charge Sneaky Pete is a criminal of honor. He never goes after somebody when they're asleep. So I think we're safe to just sleep right here. Right next to the tunnel. Right. Well, yeah. Oh yeah.

I guess they was anybody gonna come out. We sleep on top of the tunnel. We should have that way of the guy. They look left around. Go back to the side. Like the island, you know wait did we come out of a hatch like a vertical hatch Yes, my point that we slept on top of the hatch if everybody tried to come out They'd have to lift us like we would wake up

Yeah, they have to lift three people. Slash not even able to get us up. We can also go to like a motel You know what they would do if you were slept on top of the thing they go Oh, and they would shoot upwards through the fucking door and you would be dead Kelsey I was a percyclopedia and underneath camping. She wrote it's probably fun. I guess Never done it. We should not go back to where we live. Like, they're coming after us. What if we made a compromise and camped out

in a camping store? Like a closed one? Yes. That's not a terrible idea. We wouldn't have to pay for anything. And we've already done a little B&E. Yeah, and there's a lot of equipment and weapons and stuff we could get.

Weapons? Or like knives. Oh yeah,, okay and guns probably in 1950s Yeah, you know candy shops in the 1950s my man honey rifles Yeah, send in fucking ten packs of bazooka Joe you get that cold If I had to pick a store in the suburbs that has weapons a camping shop is probably the number one place I'd go Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I regret second guessing you. I don't know why my voice is turning into your voice.

It's contagious. Everybody's turning into a simp. Let's compromise. Let's go into a camping store and buy what we need and go to a motel. And that way you both get what you want. Let's go see if it's open or not. Oh yeah, let's go see if the camping store is open.

Will, is the camping store open? Checking in with the DM. Oh, yeah, let's go see if the camping starts open. Will is the camping store open? Checking in with the DM DM you're doing you're going to walk back to peachyville. Yeah, right Are we not supposed to do that? No this you guys? Investigate for this is a big 200-hour Ubisoft game with a lot of filler content so you guys can do whatever you want on the way We're gonna have to pick up a bunch of fucking musical notes Don't worry. There's three outposts We can hit on the way being clear these three outposts from the map so there's less icons on the map so you

Will say it would take you about two hours to walk back to town proper I'm pretty tired to walk two hours your car is waiting for the hatch Wait our car we can sleep on the hatch. Wait, our car? We have our car? We have parked the car on the hatch. Oh, Frady. That's actually not a terrible idea. Because then when they shoot it, what are they going to shoot them? A car, idiots. Your car is back down at the bottom of the hill by the bunker.

OK, how far is that? At the entrance of the bunker. That's probably like a 15 minute walk from here. Let's go there. All right, let's go get in the car. We could car camp. We'll drive up, park the car over the hatch. Or we could go to the camping store. You could go anywhere.

You could go anywhere once you're in the car, Matt. You know? So we're not just going up. You know, if we went up and up the hill from the entrance of the bunker and parked on the hatch, we could also just drive out of the entrance of the bunker and find us this way. That's true.

They know we have that. There's like one entrance out of this place. He's just, sorry, I was of this place. Okay, sorry. I was just really stuck. Okay, so we're not, I just got to, we're not camping. We're not camping. I get it. You're like a nice guy who's like 60.

I just need you to tell me you're not in love with me. I just need you to have clarity. We're not camping. Okay, there's just a lot going on. You're right. Let's get in the car and let's drive someplace safe. Okay? Yeah.

Okay. You walk down the hill, back down to the entrance of the bunker. Be careful guys. I want to go spot hidden. Spot hidden? Yeah, go ahead. Cause you know what I mean, it's gotta be like one of those things

where it's like after a long night, whose cars are left? Well, I guess everyone who died's cars are left. So it is pretty bad. Yeah, there's a lot of cars there. Oh, we get so many cars to choose from. That's true. 14, I got a 50, so that's a good success.

A good success. I'm saying that was a video gonna be something even just a data Slate give me something Dude that you can play it back and get lore right now journal entry, dude you find a empty pack of cigarettes There's one cigarette left in it. What's written on it? You know Kelsey give me a no roll. That cigarettes will give you cancer. A normal success.

With a normal success you know that an empty cigarette box with one cigarette left is the telltale sign that Sneaky Pete has been about. They always find it around the scene of Sneaky Pete's mischief. I've got a question Kelsey. Kelsey looks at you while she lights up the cigarette and takes a big ol' puff.

Wow, you look so cool. I know. It's somewhere in the woods above you. Thermal Vision sees that cigarette light up in the night. Yeah, so my question was. Where is Sneaky Pete? Well, what, yes, and why is he bad? You know, I know he's called Sneaky Pete. Well, yeah, that's a good clue right away that he's not great. That's fair

Why is back you know what now? I think about it. I think I've just been told he's bad Wow Yeah, I don't really I've never really looked like what you did. I've never seen him. Maybe he doesn't exist No, I mean, you're never seen him either Yo, there's no one there. Oh I thought I just never seen him either. Oh! You know, there's no one there. Oh. Oh. I thought I just, never mind. Never mind. He's got good choices in brands, though.

And I take another big old puff. My favorite. You look down and your cigarette's gone. Oh! You just smoked it. You just inhaled really hard. He just smoked it. He smoked the entire thing, including the filter.

Wow. You know what? Whether he's good or bad, I don't know. But he sure is a little creepy, isn't he? I guess. This whole thing was really creepy What just happened? Can we go to the We got the car so crazy here I

Feel in danger outside of a car. I don't think we're in danger my theory is that sneaky Pete is actually protecting us oh That'd be nice keep that optimism optimism going, Trudy. Yeah, let's go. Thank you. So yes, you wind up back down at the bunker. The firefighters have arrived. They're not looking your direction because they're very busy putting out the fires, which

is nice. This is a job. So you can pretty easily just kind of creep over to your car if you want. I'm not going to make you roll for that. Great. And gracefully back out into the night. Where would you like to go?

What time is it right now? Let's say it's feels like a 1 AM kind of situation. OK, the camping store is definitely closed, which means we can break in. Oh, I mean, yeah, you can. We have to sleep somewhere. Is there a 24-hour motel in Peachyville? Yeah, I mean, most motels are 24 hours,

otherwise they wouldn't be that useful. That's a good point. It's 1 AM. Get out. Get out of here. Yeah, I mean most motels are 24 hours. Otherwise, they would be that Kick everyone out at 3 a.m. All right If you're all in on this like paying for stuff thing we yeah, we go to my yeah, let's go to a motel I think that seems less risky than breaking a store. And the guy who runs the motel, he's probably chill, right? He's not going to, like, narc on us. I don't know. I've never been to the motel.

Oh, you've never been to the motel? No, why would I? I've been a bunch of times. I live here. I have a house. What? It's like what? Places?

I've been to the motel a bunch of times. Oh. Why? It's my side hustle. I clean out the rooms. Oh, OK. Well, then you probably have a key and times. Oh. Oh. Why? It's my side hustle. I clean out the rooms. Oh, OK. Oh, well then you probably have a key and shit. Oh my god, I do.

Free hotel room, baby. Free hotel room. Let's go. Let's go. Sure. So you drive to, Frances, what is the name of the motel? The No Tell Motel. No Tell Motel.

It's the No Tell Motel with free color wallpaper. I won't tell if you won't tell. Stay in the no tell motel. Tell me. Dungeons and Dice is brought to you this week by AG1. Wow. Matt, you got the pack. What was in it?

They provide you a nice bottle that's easy easy to mix in and they have this nice little Like metal container so you put in the fridge because after you open it you gotta keep it refrigerated because it's full of such good Fresh shit. It's gotta be refrigerated. That's how you know, it's good. It's not just a bunch of preserves in there It's the real stuff. So I put that in there. I mix it up I've actually been doing every morning for the last, you know, two mornings. So that's a good good, you know two times It's not pattern yet. It's going dude. I got the UAV. I don't last, you know, two mornings. So that's a good, that's good, you know, two times is not pattern yet. But it's going, dude. Like I got the UAV.

I don't have, I don't have the helicopter yet, but it's a streak. I got my AG1 streak. The UAV is going to help me do the kill streak by getting more kills. In 60 seconds, Matt gets his daily dose of vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, adaptogens and more to support your digestion and keep you regular, dog. 97% of participants felt digestion improved after 90 days. You know what, my little secret? This is genuine, this is true.

Don't look at me like I'm not gonna say something good for the sad frame. I'm giving you something good right here. Mix it halfway with a little bit of vanilla almond milk. Goes down smooth, delicious. Honestly, it's good. Like, it tastes good. Like, I'm like, even if it wasn't healthy,

I'm like, hey, that's a pretty delicious treat. Enjoy it. Convinced me. AG1 is made from bioavailable ingredients that work with your body. It's a powder form, easy to access, nutrient dense ingredients in the formula. Just one daily scoop provides whole body benefits

like gut, immune, and stress support. You know, support your gut, dog. Help your body digest. Start with AG1 and notice the difference for yourself You know they say about gut health. That's where good, but health starts true Where's the lie starts in the gut goes to the butt you healthy gut healthy, but start with a g1 I know the life healthy gut healthy building so start with a g1 and notice the different happy, but What start with a g1 and notice the difference for yourself?

It's a great first step to investing in your health and that's why we're excited to be partnering with them. Try AG1 and get a free bottle of vitamin D3K2. I thought this was Leet Speak. Vitamin D3K2. Dex. No, D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash Dungeons and Daddies.

All one word. I bring those travel packs on tour. That's a $48. I already packed on tour. That's a forty eight dollars. That's a forty eight dollar value for free. If you go to drink AG one dot com slash Dungeons and Daddies. Check it out. Francis, you know the lay of the place. Where are you taking them?

I'm going to put my ear up against a door on the fucking. I won't tell you. Won't tell I'm having an affair. Write that down. Somebody write that down. Might be useful later. If I hear begins to, you won't tell. I'm having an affair. Right that down. Somebody write that down. Might be useful later. Okay, here it begins. Another door.

This one's crying. Okay, not that one. But I'm gonna go to another door. This one seems silent. I don't trust that. But maybe give a, give a listen roll. I'm gonna knock gently. Okay, no answer.

I'm gonna open it. Uh, it appears to be empty. There's only room for two people on the bed who sleep on the floor. That's why I can sleep on the floor. It should be me. I'll sleep on the floor. It should be me. I'll sleep on the floor. No, it should be me, because you're ladies.

I gotta be a gentleman about it. No, well, my spine is mostly a metal. Yeah, but you can feel discomfort, right? You two can definitely sleep on the floor. It's fine, I'll take the bed. Um. Um. Hey, cousins got back pain.

I'm not gonna lie, I need a good night's sleep. So I have no problem if you two are good on the floor. That's fine with me. Oh sure. Okay. Wait hold on. Don't offer something if you don't mean it. Yeah. You've just changed ever since we saw that fucked up painting. One of you. Oh have I? Yeah.

Oh. Okay. You two get the bed. Now you're just doing that because- Now it's weird. Yeah. I don't know what to do anymore. I'll sleep on the floor. Okay I'll sleep on the floor too. I'll sleep on the bed. Okay. What a gentleman. I'm glad we talked that out. As Francis sprawls out on the bed and the two of you sleep on the floor you collapse into a deep dreamless sleep. You wake up in the morning feeling surprisingly refreshed after your long night of travels and troubles Yeah, the Sun rises. There's a knock at the door Oh God, they can't see me! I'm a teacher with a student in the hotel

I got it, I got it, I got it Trudy you gotta take the fall I am it, I am it, it's fine No, no, absolutely not No, just hide behind the bed You cannot open the the door behind the bed housekeeping. It sounds like I hear three people in there shouting at each other. What's going on? It's me. He's on drugs. I'm trying to stop trying to help him. It's me Francis who works here. Oh, hey Francis Hi, yeah, what are you doing in this room with two older women?

I'm just trying to keep them out cuz it's time to check out there was no one supposed to be in here There's a yeah, that's why I came in here to talk. Are because it's time to check out. There was no one supposed to be in here. There's a- Yeah, that's why I came in here to toss them out. Why are you going to do something naughty in here? Me, I'm going to clean up. There's nothing to clean up because nothing happened in here. Okay.

Francis. I drooled a little. I don't know what these two grown women were doing together. I don't think we've invented gay people yet. So it must be some new technology, but I'm sure whatever's going to go on is fine, and I'll make them leave give me a Fast talk roll to bluff your way past Clovis the housekeeper. Oh, no I only have a 95

Fucking you so much 40 which is like an awesome success. Okay. I'm totally good, I like crushed it. Clovis, you're night manager at the Notel motels. Like that's what I like about you, Francis. You've got hustle. I didn't even know you were working today,

but you're still here making sure the hotel's safe. I'm loyal to the company. I think eventually that'll turn into like benefits for me. I'm willing to break my back for the company. I can't believe Francis has two jobs. I know. He's only 16. To be fair, I really half-assed the soda jerk thing.

Okay. Well, since you're here, why don't you clean up the room? I'm gonna go read the paper. And he pushes the cart to you and walks away. Sounds great. Did we level up? As he pushes the cart to you, you realize that the radio is on on the cart.

And it's the- Hold on, we're about to hear a news broadcast about ourselves. GASP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELL HELL FRANC IS HERE'S HERE THIS I'LL GETCOMFUL but not so loud other people hear it. Good morning, Peachville. It's me, Peachville Pete, with the top of the morning news hour blast to you, the Peachville residents. Oh, it's just the sneaky Pete. Do you think? Do you think they're the same person? What if they are?

Peachville Pete here with the latest news from around town and breaking news today, of course, everyone's talking about the big fire last night at the creepy weird old bunker across the hill. We've got an exclusive interview with the man of the hour, local hero, Shane Silva, who was heroically had his leg blown off, but then managed to rescue his girlfriend, Carly.

That's right, I have heard that they're going steady now. And I'm talking to the two of them now in the studio. Shane. I wanna start turning down the volume. And I look at Francis, like, oh, you know, we really don't need to listen to this, Francis. No, I wanna hear what he's gonna say. Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure. I know you want to, but do you think it'd be good for you to hear what he says? Look, I'm like 75% sure that one of the keys is with Shane's dad. So if he talks some shit, then maybe he'll let us know what he and his dad's plans are.

I'm not gonna go kill Grazy and blow off his other leg. I know I will go for a headshot Francis such growth. Thank you. Okay. I slowly turn the volume back up Shane's in the middle of a tearful monologue It's like I just saw my whole life You sure you're good, Francis? I'm good. All right, slowly turn the volume back up. You know, I've lost my scholarship because of my leg. I was going to play football next year.

But it's OK. I'm going to stay right here in Peachyville. And you know, I just, I don't think I was a very good guy to some people. And you know, I had this moment. And I think I want to turn over a new leaf. And then Carly like wipes away a tear. She's like, Shane was so brave,

and he was so brave the way he saved me in that thing. And we definitely, all we saw was just a bunch of fire and a bunch of crazy noises and screaming. We didn't see anything specific. So that's all we know. That's all we know. And we just value our privacy at this time. And we're just grieving for all the people we lost,

like our dear friend, Francis, and our friends, Regular Pine and Billie Holiday, and the other two. We're the other two's name, let me remember. And Davis Lee Jackson, and my good friend, Spooky Middleton. And I just, I wish them all well. We're still finding out, of course, who all lived and who died, but we've lost so many people and we just, I wish them all well. We're still finding out of course, who all lived and who died, but we've lost so many people and we just-

P.G.ville Pete's like, okay, yeah, and so great. Well, we've got to get to the, we've got to get to the- We've got to do a traffic report. We've got to do a traffic report and we'll come back with more sad talking with these two teens. And then you hear tragically an ad for Tony's cars.

Cars, cars, cars. I turn it off. No, we don't. No, we don't. Oh yeah, turn it off. Turn that off. I get enough of Tony already. I heard P.G.ville Pete- Where is Tony? Tony Well Francis I hate to say this but Shane sounded like he's turning over a new lead Yeah, it turns out I shot a character arc into his fucking ass and I

Turns out I shot a character arc into his fucking ass and I rule. It turns out I did the right thing and I'm awesome and I should keep doing it. No, no, you did not do the right thing. I made him a good person with one pull of a trigger. This much pressure from my point of figure and now suddenly he wants to make good? Fuck yeah! Prove me wrong! Okay. Okay.

Also they all think I'm dead. Even better. This is the second best day of my life. Okay, that is, well, okay, Frances, you're okay. You're going through a lot, that's okay. But a lot of people, I mean, all those kids died. I didn't do that, I'm not psyched about it. I'm not saying you did, I'm upset. Oh yeah, I was mad at you too, sure.

Yeah, okay, I can tell. I was just focusing on our situation first, because we're still in danger. Well, yeah, I mean, I think everybody's in danger. That's the point, this entire town's in danger. They think we're dead? They think we're dead? Well, they think I mean, I think everybody's in danger. That's the point. This entire town's in danger. They think we're dead? They think we're dead? Well, they think Francis is dead.

I mean, I'm assuming that the police, if they don't see us. And my kids, they think that I'm home. But that's just another robot. That's another robot, yeah. And they're also kind of not your kids? No, no. Another woman is taking care of your kids.

That's not. Okay, sure. I mean, it's up to you. What did you say, Francis? No worries if not. Francis.. That's not I mean it's up to you I was just saying you know course there my you you have as much of a right of a claim over the kids as the Current Trudy does Impostor and she's not me at all. And I miss my kids dearly, even Timmy. And I just, I wanna go home. Let's do that.

And yeah, okay. You wanna go home? Oh, Francis, you know what? Sometimes it's okay just not to talk. Right now. Okay, Trudy, let's go to your house. You gotta see your kids. You don't think there's gonna be surveillance on it?

There might be, but her kids are important to her. Okay, I'm gonna just hide in the bushes with my 90s stealth while you guys do whatever you're gonna do. Okay, do you wanna go check on your kids? Am I supposed to do something else? You can do whatever you want. Open world, baby. Open world game, baby.

Open world, there's a, yeah, sure, there's a blinking quest icon there. Chucker has one of the keys, right? Yes. So going to your house is also where a key is. Ah, shit, yeah, we need to do that. Yeah. Oh yeah, the keys. And, so going to your house is also where a key is ah shit Yeah, we need to do that. Yeah. Oh, yeah Mama's coming home yeah, so he like knows we're coming. I okay

Let's drive to the house, but we'll be parked across the street, so they don't see her yeah, okay great Okay, go ahead. Okay. We didn't get pulled over anything. Give me a luck roll. Is it the end of the month? It's not the end of the month? Are the cops looking for the clover? It's not the end of the month. 16, I've succeeded. Yeah, smooth as butter. All right. You make it all the way back. Let's get it.

Hey, my check engine light just turned off. Turned off. Just fixed itself. That's nice. I always say this, it's as likely that the light's broken as the engine's broken. That's what I say, like, it's just as likely. You cruise on back home, you're seeing a lot of flags

hung at half mast, you're seeing a lot of like, you know, teary-eyed people in the street, you know, like it seems like people are really shaking up about this tragedy that happened in town. Kelsey, aren't you sad that nobody's celebrating your win? Oh, I mean, no, not at all. I mean, I don't even know if anybody knew. They would be if they knew I won.

I think most people don't know I won. I have an idea, okay? When do your kids leave for school? Oh, well. Never, they never come to school. They get homeschooled. That's right, I know Trudy. Yeah, I guess that does make things

significantly harder for us. Yeah, that was a good idea. It's true. Okay, nevermind then. Do they ever go outside for recess, like in the backyard? Trudy, I have a question. Go ahead, Kelsey. Is it that you just don't believe in school in general?

Or is it something specifically about me that you didn't want your kids taught by me? I just thought I was qualified enough. Oh. Oh. She did her own research. I did my own research. No, I disagree, but I'm glad you were,

you would trust me to teach your kids, right? Of course. Okay. Okay. I disagree, but I'm glad you were you would trust me to teach your kids, right? Okay, so your kids are home for sure that yes, okay, so Francis what's the I was thinking that obviously Trudy Can't go and knock the door and look at Trudy. They weren't always homeschooled What I'm remembering that they weren't always homeschooled. What I'm remembering that they weren't always homeschooled. I Wonder sent them to a different school. Well, no, we lived in Scottsdale. Oh, okay. That's fine. I wasn't there so curious So my thought was okay if you want to see your kids we have to make sure that the other

Trudy is separated from them. And presuming that she like stays inside and does housework while the other kids are on recess, you could like sneak around the back and like talk to them as their mom, because the last time they saw her like, everything's fine and maybe, you know, you don't have to run the risk of having two Trudys fight each other. Oh, well, I have an idea. Okay. What if we put Trudy's fight each other. Oh, well, I have an idea. Okay. What if we put Trudy's favorite show on? She'll be completely helpless

to do any of her motherly duties, just completely glued to the television. Interesting. What's her favorite show? I really hope people can't use that against you in the future. Well, this is this Trudy, and I'm that Trudy. You're not wrong. What's her favorite show?

It's called Murder, Murder, Murder. Oh. And it's a, it's something. I love that show. There's three murders every episode. Yes. And you never know when they're going to happen. Oh my God.

Last night we were almost done and there was no murder yet. I'm like, well, three's about to come. Oh wow. And there's three people in one room. I'm like, well, that wouldn't want to be them. No. There hasn't been any murders yet. Certainly not.

I think the name of the episode is Murder, Murder, Murder, She Wrote. Okay, so is Murder, Murder on right now? Damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right, no streaming.

Yes, it's on at exactly noon every day. A midday murder show? Of course. Well, most kids are in school. Oh, it actually makes sense. Most kids. But not my kids. Do you send out the kids outside when you watch Murder, Murder, Murder, Murder

so they don't see the horrible stuff? No, I have an idea. Are you fucking kidding me? I have an idea. God damn it. Are you fucking kidding me? I have an idea. Okay, why don't you two sneak in the backyard and I'll get your kids there, okay? Okay. Okay, I'm gonna go up to the door.

Okay. I'm gonna knock on the door. Does Trudy answer? She sure does. Oh my God, I'm so sorry to interrupt. My friend, Kelsey. Yes, oh my God, my TV just went out and Murder Murder Murder's on,

can I sit down and watch with you? Murder Murder Murder? Yeah, the newest episode's on and the kids can't watch. It's too violent. Can you just send them outside to play in the backyard? Me and you can watch. Well, Tucker gets awfully cross when I watch murder, murder. I won't tell if you don't tell. You won't?

No. This house can be a little no tell motel if you know what I mean. I don't. It means we won't tell your husband we're watching murder, murder, murder. Give me a persuade role, Beth Are you persuaded? I legit think that there would be programming to like not Yeah, we're not leaving the house. Oh We're gonna watch in your house cuz my house my TV's broken

I think the point is that Tucker would have also been like don't let random people into that. Oh, yeah, I got a 13 Jesus. I'm not supposed to let my friends into the house, but come on in. Well, you can just tell your husband, it's not a friend, it's a teacher who agrees with your decision to not need teachers. Okay, we're not friends. Okay.

Come on in. Okay. Can I get you anything? Just Murder, Murder, Murder, my favorite show. Just pop that thing on the TV. New Trudy, like new robot Trudy, not our Trudy. What was she doing with her kids when Kelsey knocked on the door?

She was teaching them history. Okay, so Kelsey, when you walk in, you see the two of them, well, the three of them rather. So they're still at the table. What's history look like? How does Trudy teach them history? Peachyville has existed for several years and it's always been the happiest place ever. Aren't you so lucky to live in a happy place like Peachyville has existed for several years and it's always been the happiest place ever.

Aren't you so lucky to live in a happy place like Peachyville? So Lil Tuck and Tiffany and Timmy are all at the table and Lil Tuck and Tiffany are like, We sure are mom! We're the luckiest in the world! And Timmy's like, Yeah, great. Yeah, it's great being here in peachy crap. I'm glad you- what did you just say? I said it's peachy crap around here, mom. Well, that mouth isn't very clean now, is it? Yeah, it's not.

We wash our hands before we eat our food. Why don't you wash that mouth out with soap? Sure, okay. Good parenting as always. And Timmy stomps off. Thank you. Mom, are we gonna continue our lesson? Who's this new friend?

Dad says we're not supposed to have friends in the house. Well, that's true. Hmm, I guess what your father doesn't know won't hurt him. Mommy, are you saying we should lie to daddy and the two of them just kind of turn and look at each other and then look at you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think daddy would like it if we lied to him.

Of course, I was being silly. A part of Peachyville history is that sometimes we make hilarious jokes. Like silly Dan on Murder, Murder, Murder? Exactly. Okay, mom, is your new friend here to help teach us history? Well, Kelsey, Kelsey has just been like looking at the knickknacks on the shelf, like looking anywhere, but this conversation just like, Oh, what? Well, Kelsey,

there's at least three letters of history you have, right? Three letters of history. I have ABC. Always be consenting. What? No, you're encyclopedia! Oh, oh! You're the guest teacher, Matt! Oh yes, I'm, I, do you want me to teach your kids history or are we watching Murder Murder Murder?

You're gonna watch Murder Murder Murder Mom? Can we watch with you? Please, please please please please please! You know I never let you watch my very private show Murder Murder Murder. That's for mommy's eyes only. Aw, gee whiz. Why don't you run along and play? Okay, come on Tiffany. I bet I can run outside faster than you.

No way, little tuck! And then they stomp off outside. Would you like a beverage and a Murder Murder Murder mug? You got the Murder Murder Murder mugs? Of course! I saved up all of my coupons for weeks. Do you have Captain Johnson? Cause I have the other three mugs, but I don't have Captain Johnson.

I have a Captain Johnson murder murder murder mug. There's four mugs for a show called Murder Murder Murder. Oh my God. So three murders, four mugs, and a captain. There's two detectives, there's the police chief, and there's the reporter. Chauncey. Yeah, Chauncey. police chief, and there's the reporter. Chauncey! Chauncey the reporter.

Chauncey the reporter. Captain Chauncey. Chauncey and Chauncey. Chauncey and Chauncey. Chauncey's my favorite. She's got the gumption and she's always the one who solves the first murder. Did they get dibs chronologically? Yes.

You know the episode really kicks off when Chauncey figures out the first murder. And the first murder never seems connected to the other two murders, but by the end? It is. It's all connected. That's crazy. And then there's Silly Dan. Silly Dan always pretends to get murdered, but he's always alive by the end of the episode. It's insane that they don't have a Silly Dan mug.

I know. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a silly Dan murder, murder, murder mug. Well, I would love a beverage. Do I hear this in the backyard with regular Trudy? Uh, yeah, okay, while this is going on... Regular Trudy's like, They have the mug! That's my mug!

That's my mug! If we ever need a manipulator, we can just make a sad Dan mug or whatever the fuck she just said. It's silly Dan! Yeah, sure, we can just make a sad Dan mug or whatever function just said Yeah, sure we can make one of those And the two of you sit down all right to watch murder murder murder welcome I love how the intro is always done by the different characters. Like sometimes it's Chauncy saying welcome to murder. Sometimes it's Chauncy the reporter here and welcome again to murder, murder, murder. Okay. So out in the yard, Francis and our Trudy are lurking in the bushes and they see.

Sorry, what? That's my favorite subreddit. Are lurking at the bushes. Oh wow. You two see Lil Tuck and Tiffany bound outside. Once they get outside, they just kind of stop and just like look at each other and then look at the sky and they're just sort of like idling. They're just kind of just kind of standing there. Are your, your kids aren't role robots to right? That's not a thing

I don't believe so Close I don't think it helps if we check anything yeah What do you want to do a second later Timmy bursts outside and? He digs up from a flower pot a pack of cigarettes and pulls one out and starts smoking Trudy for the first time looking at Timmy, doesn't feel the intense annoyance and betrayal that Timmy normally elicits in her. Okay.

Whoa. Just a little bit. Hi, kids. Lil Tuck and his sister turn and look at you and they narrow their eyes like, mommy? I, hmm? And... Don't be scared.

I know you just saw me inside, but I, um, I... Well, I don't know how to explain it, but I'm here too. Okay, what do you want, mommy? Do you want us to go back inside? I just wanted to look at you. Over their shoulder, you see Timmy look up at you, and his face goes pale. And he kind of stubs the cigarette out and walks over

and says, you two go back inside. And they look up at Timmy. They're like, boy, he says, get back inside now. Get back inside. Oh, OK. Well, be safe. And they just kind of like wordlessly, emotionlessly just trot back off inside.

And Timmy looks at you like dead in the eye says What do you want? I just wanted to see you. Okay, you saw me now go Timmy I Have realized things about myself go now why get out I can't no Don't you dare don't you fucking dare I would like to roll psychology Okay, to see if he like knows what's up with Trudy Okay, give me a roll so I have 80 psychology And I got 78 so close. Oh so close. Yeah, he knows he's very upset at seeing her and he seems to understand that she

Understands what she is now, but he is does not want to talk to her at all sounds like he's got some biases against robots So I guess Francis stands up is like, kid, what's going on? What the who the fuck is this? Who are you? I'm a friend. This is my friend, Francis. You I don't I'm not get out. I'm not you're not I'll I'll tell him. I'll tell him right now. I'll go down to the basement and I'll tell him.

No, baby, don't don't do that. I'll go. Stop calling me, baby. OK, I'll go. You think you have any clue? You think you have any clue? You think any of them have any fucking clue? What's going on? No, don't do that. I'll go. Stop calling me baby. Okay. I'll go. You think you have any clue? You think you have any clue? You think any of them have any fucking clue what's going on?

No, I don't. I know I don't know anything. It's like I'm kind of learning everything for the first time. I don't give a shit. You're not my mom. You're not my mom. You'll never be my mom.

None of them will ever be my mom. I don't wanna talk to you. I don't wanna see you. So get the hell out of my mom. You'll never be my mom. None of them will ever be my mom. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. So get the hell out of my face. OK, we'll go. I just wanted to see you. And we'll go now. And he just turns and walks off back into the house.

Tucker's in the basement. He often is. This might be our best shot at taking him. Nobody seems to be looking at the house if they did they would have seen us and you know attacked yeah so you're saying we should go into the basement that's what I'm saying does the basement have like a window that you know looks out onto the ground well between you and me I've never been in the basement oh you might want to like

steal yourself then I already did that that. I'm really sorry. Because I'm a robot. Oh, guys, it was a pun. That's good. I just want to say I'm really sorry about the way your son just behaved. No, it's actually me who has been misbehaving. What do you mean? I wasn't a very good mother to Timmy, and now I can see, really see how much that's affected

him and I wonder if there's something else going on as well. Something else? Well, we know that I'm not the last Trudy. I don't think I am the first Trudy either. No, doesn't seem like it. I wonder, with so many Trudys in the world, maybe Timmy lost the one he really liked. Maybe he could learn to like you. Well, let's go to the basement now. Dungeons and Dices brought to you this week by AG1.

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Wall supplies last, one in five chances to win GameCube prizes at outset. Chances to win double play prizes based on time of code entry and drop prizes based on number of entries in each draw. See rules in app. So I'd like to look around the exterior of the house. So a lot of basements had those little windows, the little cellars, a little cellar window thing. I'm going to try to see if there's one of those.

Yeah, there is. It's bolted up tight. It's locked. OK. I guess we're going in the. And then so, yeah, you're in the backyard. There's like a sort of back. Yeah, there is. It's bolted up tight. It's locked. Okay, I guess we're going in the... And then, so yeah, you're in the backyard. There's like a sort of back door with a screen door. You can hear the TV playing inside. Can I see outside, like where they were? Can I see, I hear the kids come back in?

So from where you are, no, the living room, you can't see the back door, but we'll start with, yeah, you hear the kids come back inside as detectives. Looks like that's the first murder of the night. Oh my God. Great crackerjack job as always, Chauncey. You really solved that case. What a pessimistic show.

They already know there's gonna be two more murders. You're right. You're right. That's life. You're right, Judy. I for sure thought that the taxi driver was gonna be the murderer, because you don't hire such a big star, but I guess sometimes they do hire him to be the murderer. Captain Johnson here.

Say that again click I've got some bad news. It seems like silly Dan was murdered That's the one part of the show I don't like they always throw that out like he's not gonna die I don't know. I kind of like it every time we think Dead and then kind of it kind of like it. Every time we think maybe Silly Dan is- You think he's gonna be dead, and then he kind of goes out over multiple episodes. Francis, what? Hide.

Sorry. I wait, Francis. Who is that? Oh, that was no way to read. Remember that time Silly Dan hid in an ambulance? Okay, so as the commercial break happens, you hear the screen door slam, and you hear the two kids starting to come back

down the hall towards you guys, they're saying mommy mommy mommy mommy now I told you mommy is watching her TV show, but you just told us outside to come back inside What oh, I think you know kids are just confused. We're not confused. We saw mommy outside They just talked back to an adult. You should tell them to go to their rooms. Yes, yes, I'll do that. Good parenting. Don't talk back to me. Go to your room. Okay, Jeepers.

And then the two kids, in perfect lockstep with each other, clamber up the steps and go to their room and shut the door. Do you mind if I go to the kitchen and refill my mug with some water, some H2O, some juice from... Of course, but really I. Man, you should've been a secret agent.

It's really I who should be serving you. You are a guest in my home. No, I should do it. Are you sure? Yeah, I would love, yeah, stay seated. Well, well, mom's putting her feet up this afternoon. Woo! Oh, would you like me to get you anything while I'm up? Well, well, mom's putting her feet up this afternoon. Woo!

Oh, would you like me to get you anything while I'm up? Ha ha ha, you're so silly, Kelsey. But yes, I would like a coffee. Oh, okay, it takes me a little bit of time to get one, so just pay attention to the show and make sure to catch me up on everything that happens. I'll tell you everything you missed. Okay, I'm gonna walk towards the kitchen,

but then instantly swerve to go to the back door to see if I can see them. So yeah, you see R Trudy, R slash Trudy, and R slash Francis. R slash Francis did nothing wrong. Yeah. Is Francis the asshole? Billy Dan's alive!

Wow, I knew it, I knew it. Okay, I'm just getting the coffee ready. So yeah, you see Trudy and Francis creeping into the house. Okay, I slide open the door, it's like, what happened? Well, I got to see my kids. Oh, and how did that go? It didn't go well. Oh, okay, but they're okay?

I think so. Okay, well then you did what you needed to, and you know, you'll, I'm sorry. And at least I know that there's somebody looking after them how I would look after them. That's true, no, she's nice. No, as nice as you. I have a quick question for you Trudy. Uh-huh. If this goes south, how do you want to deal with it? You mean like if like always if the other

Break me down into little parts. No, no, no, no, like let's try this question. How about if it goes north? How are we gonna deal with it? Maybe think of positive? happen if it goes well Totally with you most of the time Kelsey. I love love positivity but like there are kids who might get traumatized So I'm just like if by you know Some horrible twist of fate the other truity starts attacking us because your husband like it's an override switch or whatever is it like Okay to shoot the robot truity in front of her kids. I don't feel like it. No let's not do that Francis Let's like we'll die if we don't. Okay well.

Give me a stealth roll everybody. We're doing this really quietly and walking towards the basement. I was gonna say yeah you're walking in a house and talking. I have a 90 stealth. Every time we talk in character it'll never, nothing will ever happen. I have a 90 stealth and I got a 34.

I have a 39 stealth and I got an 83. Okay. I got a 44 and I got 20 stealth. Oh shit, I forgot to level you guys up. Oh well, no one reminded me. I literally did. Twice. I said then maybe we'll do it when we wake up

and then no one reminded me. No, no, no, after we woke up I went, so did we level up and you didn't hear me. We'll do it at the end, we'll do it next time. All right. Francis, if it helps, I'm pretty sure my children, at least 66% of them are robots. Oh, God.

Yeah. Okay, I guess that changes things. New Trudy hears Kelsey not in the kitchen and hears Kelsey talking to someone else, but she can't quite make out the other voice. Yoo-hoo, I said silly Dan is alive. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just saw a little cockroach, I'm chasing it and I'm taking it out.

And you were talking to the cockroach? Well, you know, I feel bad when I kill one. So I just go, hey, little buddy, don't get distracted. You're not going to be able to tell me everything that happened. Hmm, me oh my oh my. Give me a- It's odd to have a cockroach in my spotlessly clean home.

I brought it in. I'm a dirty girl. I didn't mean to,. It's probably my dress. You know me just always tromping through the woods. That's what I do. OK, give me a persuade role because I feel like new Trudy hearing that there's a roach in her house. She'd want to deal with that problem ASAP. That's a 19. Persuaded is a 55.

So it's a positive success. OK, so give me how you. Oh, I did it. I crushed it. Did you hear it? Big dirty girl that trumps to the woods and brings a cockroach in I forgot you were a dirty girl. I feel bad for bringing a cockroach into your spotless house I'm doing a little extra cleaning to make up for my crime. Of course Might be a little bit longer, but your coffee is coming soon Okay, so I pat.

Stop talking. Let's get in the basement first. Then we can talk. I signal zip it. I signal shrug. That's called shrugging. We got to be shrugging. I had it in the basement.

Okay. Okay. So you guys get to the basement door. Yeah, you sneak in. I feel like Tucker doesn't keep it locked because it's like Daniel Day-Lewis when he leaves his pocket watch out on the post and fucking... Yeah, nobody's gonna take it.

Yeah, it's like everyone like, who would dare? Who would dare fucking come down here? Okay, Francis, now we can talk. I was gonna say maybe you should stay up there and keep her busy, but no, you're down here now and that's cool too. Yeah, no, it feels like the party should stay together. Okay.

Thanks, thanks, thanks, Kelsey. Zuzel's like, good. Yeah. I have to keep an eye. Friendship is important. Yes. I have to keep an eye on both of you in case you need taking care of. Why would you say it like that? That's a fucked up thing to say. That's what teachers do, taking care of each other. It just seems like a normal everyday suburban basement down here.

There's a boiler and there's some more- Wow, a second fridge. There's a second fridge down here. Is there mysterious man tied up played by free one I Think there might be Shit no no no There's not a mysterious man that I played by Freddy Wong Freddy. I missed you dog Yeah, I'm watching you guys fucking flail without the razor sharp role play that Freddie Wong brings to the table.

So, so you all know the way we're arranged. Every time I look at my will, I just see Freddie in the background, just out of focus. And I'm just like, man, miss that guy. Can we look for a key? One of the keys, we need one of the keys. One of the keys is supposed to be here, right? Tucker, have one of the keys.

I'm gonna make a spot hidden roll. Okay, great, yes. My spot hidden is 50 and I got a 50. Okay great. I massively filled my spot ridden with an 86. Frances? I said spot ridden and said spot hidden can I have a spot ridden skill that's like me cleaning my clothes like you know spot. Oh that's pretty good. Spot ridden? Yeah. That's right. You want to put some points in it go for it. You know what we'll write a little module for all you folks that want spot ridden in your next golf tournament.

Ooh, my spot hit is a 25 and I got a 22. Okay, great. So the two of you notice, it's actually the fridge. Because you're like, wait a second, our power bill, is it high enough for a second fridge? That doesn't make any sense. And sure enough, as you go up to it, the fan isn't on. It doesn't seem to be emitting any heat.

And when you open it, there is a second stairwell down this refrigerator. Very clever. Should we go down? Oh yeah. Okay. Did they include this in the square footage when you bought the place? I can't say that they did. The resale value of this place is going to be immense.

I look around, I won't look for anything that can make tripwires and the like. Yes, yes. I want cable, and I want anything that can make noise when you open the door. Bro, what if Tucker's got one of those, you know, those gaming rear view mirrors? You remember those little circular mirrors you put on your monitor in case your mom comes in while you're playing DD Dust? Yeah, it's while you're playing video games. That's why those mirrors exist, Freddie. Oh my God. So wait, what's the like you just see that they can see you?

Yeah. Oh my god, mirrors work both ways. Shut up, Matt. Shut up. No, this is a good point. No, no, I agree with you. My mom was always watching me. Isn't it already too late?

Yeah, if you see them in the rear view mirror in front of your PC, they've already seen what's on the screen. You know, listen, it's not like these things sold like fucking hotcakes. I mean, this wasn't the number one gaming accessory after a G-Force 2, okay? Yeah, I want to just like find like any sort of cable. Yes, tell me what you want to do.

Just any sort of cable, and I want to tie it across the door, low on the door so that if they were at least and we were to open the basement door and then walk, they'd probably trip. In the basement, you find like some twine, if you want to use twine there's like an extension cord if you want to do that.

I use a twine. You're basically tying up a trip over the first step? Yes. Okay great. So yeah you do that, you make your way down the stairs. These are like, these are sci-fi stairs. You know what I mean? These are like government facility stairs.

There's like little lights. These are like the staircase in that show, Space, Space, Space. Oh yes! These are just like the stairs. There's like little lights. These are like the staircase in that show space space space Oh, yeah Like the stairs on space space space. I'm so upset it got canceled They said it was ahead of its time which makes sense for a show like To outlandish yeah, cut to Francis 20 years later space space space the next generation is like fine Cut to Francis 20 years later, space, space, space, the next generation's like fine.

There's a space, space, space, space, space, space, space, space, space, space, or as they call it, Deep Space Nine. Wow. You guys make your way down the stairs and you emerge into, it's a laboratory, like you see classic sci-fi shit, Beakers, test tubes, there's a lot of electronics down here. You can feel like this is Tucker's office slash his work area.

Office slash work area. I mean, his office slash workshop. Let me put it that way. It's his goon, OK? So there's a workbench with various metal exoskeletons on it. And are there any other exits? You see an elevator.

Clearly, this is probably the elevator that leads down to the research facility proper. Tucker does not appear to be in here at the moment. No, but look, Francis, one, he could come up this elevator any moment, so you know, I guess have your gun ready. Oh, Trudy's got it. Oh, or have your gun ready, or have his gun ready.

But yeah, we can look for the key, right? Like that's what we're trying to do. Yeah, I assume he doesn't have it on him. I guess oh, that's true He might have it on him, but let's look until he comes and then we can you know surprise party him again sure Actually, you know what true to give me a gun back. I'll just wait by the elevator. Okay. Well we look okay great So where do you guys want to search? There's this workbench? There's the big sort of like equation board There's his desk probably the desk. Okay great board. There's his desk.

Probably the desk. Okay, great. Desk. Desk. Desk. Desk. There's a bunch of papers scattered out on. He's kind of a slob when he doesn't have Trudy cleaning up after. So this place is definitely a bit of a mess.

Big piles of papers, proposals for experiments to do, memos to the archives and containment departments. There are some drawers if you'd like to rummage through them. Yes. I think Kelsey loves more than rummaging through other people's drawers. Who's opening the drawer? You can get the drawers on the right

and I'll get the drawers on the left. Okay, great. Each of you give me a spot hidden check. Great. 19. Okay, great. Spot hidden is 40. I got a 35 and my spot hidden is 50.

In that case, here's what we'll say. Trudy, you find under, this appears to be like a filing cabinet full of stuff for his job. Like there's a lot of official documents for Project Heartland. But in the back, there's a folder that's unlabeled, but it draws your eye and you pull it out.

When you open it up, you see like Trudy schematics. Like of your skeleton, of the way that you're built together. There's a whole thing on your psychological profile. There's notes on all of the various versions of Trudy that he's been documenting and like as sort of his updates and his changes. I can try to wave to get Kelsey's attention. What's up?

I don't think you should let her read those. Yeah, okay. If there's a kill phrase in there. A kill phrase? Oh, what do you got there Trudy? You're coming in hard with these like just in cases. What do you got there Trudy? You're coming in hard with these like just in cases. What do you got there Trudy? Oh, it's my new

headshots. I'm an actor. Don't look at them! Okay, well I should have gotten them in color. Are you lying to me? Yes! Okay, they're not headshots. They're schematics. them in color. Oh, are you lying to me? Yes. Okay. Okay, they're not headshots.

They're schematics. Oh, have you? Of me. You also see as you're flipping through them, the next section is schematics for a Lil Tuck and Tiffany and different versions of these robots. They do not seem to have an organic brain operating them. They have like, it seems like a series of sub routines.

It seems like they're mostly designed to spy on you. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, God. I tucked those robots in at night. Yeah. And I read them stories and I remember bringing them home from the hospital. Well, just because they're robots, that doesn't take away that you were being a good mom to them. I'm sorry that you found that out, though. And it may have been programmed to love you,

but, like, that's still love, right? I don't know anymore. Anyway. You want to see what I found? Yes. You found a button. Ooh. Underneath porn and guns and hunting magazines

and, you know, an old bottle of scotch. I found a button hiding under this drawer. Is it labeled? Oh, let me see I get down on my knees. Oh god Fucking knees let me look So anytime right 38 is like I don't want are your shoes under the couch. I don't know you look Getting down there. That was a whole trip back up. So Kelsey- So is it labeled or not? Kelsey just mumbled to herself. She looks, is the button labeled? It is not.

Well that was good, what a good, what a great trip that was, so he just, here help me, I reached my hand, here, help me up. I help Kelsey up. Oh, okay, these don't work like they used to. There's no label on it, Francis. I mean, it was hidden for a reason.

Here, I press it. Yeah. That's it. So, that wall to ceiling chalkboard that held these equations on it, you hear a click and it slides open, revealing. Freddy? God. Oh, ho, ho, it slides open, revealing- Freddy? Ha ha ha!

Ho ho ho, it's me, Santa! Oh, you found my hiding spot! I've just been in deep trouble! Why is it that time of year again? Ho ho ho! You're why Christmas didn't happen last year? I didn't realize that! I've been stuck here!

Tell Mrs. Claus I'm alive! Send a note to the elves, I'm here. Help me. Now let me tell you, there's a man here, very naughty. Very naughty. I have quite a bit of coal for that man. Where's Rudolph? Rudolph, are you there Rudolph?

And Santa whistles Rudolph. My God, Rudolph is out of eye range. It's good that you've opened this window Mrs.. Claus can track me with the embedded GPS tracker in my nuts now Any minute now they'll be sending a team of elves Elf team six will come and rescue me elves! Elves team six will come and rescue me. And you won't want to be here why I've trained them to nuke the site from orbit.

That's right, I'm Santa Claus. All right. Close that window. No, no, no, but the children, the children, Christmas. You close that button and then the chalkboard on the other side of the, the chalkboard on the other side of the room opens up revealing a hidden room behind. Like some sort of like steam kind of emerges out

and you see a brain floating in a mysterious chemical like on a platform that's kind of being stimulated by electrodes and stuff like that. And as this wall slides up, Trudy, you feel this intense piercing feeling in your head, like the worst headache you've ever had in your life. Like a tinnitus screeching. Your joints lock up for a second as you just wrap with pain

and you hear a voice in your head. It's okay. Don't be afraid. Come here, come closer. And as you look at this brain, you realize it's had slices taken out of it like all over its surface just little tissue samples one two three four five six someone's been hacking away at this thing bit by bit by bit and Trudy you

recognize that that voice you've heard is your own voice and it says to you there's a lot to tell you, Trudy. We come back out mid, and we're in an office. A seedy office, blinds half drawn, streams of daylight poking through. There's a man sitting there. We don't quite see his face. A phone rings on his desk. Ring, ring, ring.

The man picks it up. Um, hello? Hello? Blake Lively? Yes, it's me. Yup, that's me. AKA, The Plumber. That's me. Oh, what do you need?

I've got a mess for you to clean up. Awww, alright. Okay. Mother, mother, fear me I am the broken sky All I ever wanted was to feel so ordinary In a world that lies twisted in my mind and now I'm gone We're coming at you from the middle of our European tour, there's still tickets available and you can find them at DungeonsAndDaddies.com. See if we're in your neck of the woods. Our next main feed drop will not be a season 3 episode instead, it will be the first episode

of Matt's Dad Hammer miniseries, we'll be back to season 3 after we all get back to the US. Dodgers and Daddies is Matt Arnold as Kelsey Grammer, Anthony Burch as Frances Farnsworth, Will Campos as our DM, Beth May as Trudy Trot, and myself, Freddie Wong as... Who knows? We'll find out next time. Our theme song is A Hole in the Stars by Max and Waller, Brian Fernandez as our content producer, Ashley Nicolette as our community manager, Courtney Terry as our community coordinator,

Cindy Denton as our merchandise manager, SRLs as our lead editor, Travis Reeves provides additional editing. For those who want a taste of life on tour, we have an hour long tour documentary of our tour earlier this year through the American Midwest and the East Coast up on our Patreon now. That's available to all patrons supporting us at all levels and is a tremendously funny and entertaining road documentary shot by our friend Justin Jelmo. He's with us here in Europe right now so there'll be another doc later on for this tour as well

and that is just one of the many audio and video treats available on our Patreon. You can get ad-free episodes, our after-show for every episode we've done, all the way back to Season 1 to today, access to a community discord, where we run events and live listens and so much more. Read about it all at patreon.com slash dungeonsanddads and by supporting us to support independent podcasts and join the ranks of folks like Jonah Provence, Audrey The Amazing, Joseph Hester, Frankie Aguilar, Melinda Brafford, Megan Borush, Gabrielle Alejandro Retana, Philip Mark, All Year Breakfast, Charlotte Weiss,

Dorm Nelson, Goday, Jordan, Tezzerette890, Nat, Brandon, Falcon Joe He James Christopher William Boucher, Beth Martin, Katie Brown, and Brittany Christopher. Support us directly on Patreon at patreon.com slash dungeons and dads, merch and more at dungeonsanddads.com, live show tickets at dungeonsanddads.com slash live, and our next Peachyville episode is November 5th, Dad Hammer episode 1 in 2 weeks, October 22nd. Thanks for listening, we will see you soon. Swallowing my dreams and making them scars Too far, too far away But I'll stay today

All that I can see is a hole in the stars Smiling in my dreams and making them scars But I'll stay today I wasn't expecting you guys to go to the house. It was a big open world adventure and we didn't go to the one corner of the map where Freddy's waiting for us. Like fucking Vincent in Final Fantasy VII. Is there a question mark somewhere on the map? Yeah, it's like a big pulsating question mark. This is just like in Baldur's Gate 3 when I saw the fucking Karlaak quest and I was like, that sounds like a pain in the ass and I do it to end act one and then I miss the romance! Dude, you're gonna play Final Fantasy VII and we're not gonna get Yuffie? Was there anything you could beat it without getting her? Y'all told me you were going to the library last time.