Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 128: Our Lost Possessions (Rabbit Hole) | Ear Biscuits Ep. 128
Episode Date: January 29, 2018On your death bed, you receive a box with all the items you've ever lost is returned to you. R&L discuss how they'd feel in this situation as they dive down another rabbit hole on this week's Ear Bisc...uits. Listen to Ear Biscuits at:Â Apple Podcasts:Â applepodcasts.com/earbiscuits Spotify:Â spoti.fi/2oIaAwp Art19:Â art19.com/shows/ear-biscuits SoundCloud: @earbiscuits Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook:Â facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram:Â instagram.com/ThisIsMythical Twitter:Â twitter.com/ThisIsMythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning:Â www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE:Â youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link:Â youtube.com/rhettandlink Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Jacob Moncrief Technical Director & Editor: Kiko Suura Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is Mythical.
Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of dim lighting,
ya boys are talking to each other again.
We're gonna be going down the rabbit hole again,
but it'll be a different rabbit hole.
Who knows where the conversation will take us.
We don't know if we're always going to do this.
In fact, I can promise you
that we're not always going to do this,
but we're gonna do it again this week.
I promise you that you can't pin us down
in any rabbit's hole.
That's right.
Or in going down rabbit's holes.
Well, don't say rabbit's holes.
Just say rabbit holes,
because if we're talking about rabbit's holes,
you're talking about rabbit's orifices.
And we don't do that, I promise you
we're not gonna do that.
I don't want a picture of that.
You don't want a picture of that.
I'm sure you can get a picture of that on the internet
but again that's not the kind of thing
that I ever search for.
My front yard has all types of holes in it.
Gophers?
And pathways that have been plumped up from underneath.
Gophers?
And I believe it is gophers.
And I googled.
You know what to do, don't you?
I googled what do gophers go for if you want them to leave?
How do you lure them out?
How do you get them to go?
That's why they're called gophers.
Not true, but okay.
And I got like a big screw top of some sort of,
it looked like fertilizer and you sprinkle it
over your yard and it's supposed to repel them.
Gopher repellent.
Gopher repellent, don't work.
Don't work, because that was six months ago.
And what that does, according to the internet,
is it runs them into your neighbor's yard
and then they throw that stuff out
and then they run back into your yard.
And then the person who mows the grass,
they just mow the grass and then what they do
is they don't walk across your lawn
and mush down the gopher humps first.
So you know what happens?
Like with the freshly mowed lawn which looks,
I have a little patch of grass in my front yard.
That's it. It's a patch of grass.
The guy mows it in seven minutes.
Yeah.
But I'm just asking if you wanna take a few minutes
to walk across it and push down the humps first
because he mows straight across.
He gets short hairs there.
It's gone, it's like dirt.
All the way down to dirt.
It's like someone tried to spell
in some sort of gopher Sanskrit
all over the front edge of my lawn.
Well have you thought that maybe they are
trying to communicate with you?
Have you looked at the lawn and deciphered anything?
I can't read gopher Sanskrit.
No, no, no, but just think about it for just one second.
Just seriously, just go with me here.
What if there are people?
What if, you know, I've always thought this.
I've thought about this a million times.
What if all of a sudden I wake up one day
and I'm a gopher, not a gopher,
but I would be like a squirrel or an insect
and how do I communicate to my family and my friends
that I am that animal?
Which is why you wrote about it way back
in that I'm a thoughtful guy.
You talked about being an ant.
Exactly.
You actually thought about it for years.
So if the-
And that didn't put it to bed.
What if those people, what if those are gophers?
What if those gophers are people?
Are they spelling anything?
That's all I'm asking.
Have you looked closely enough,
if you step back, if you've gotten a drone view
of your patch of grass.
You gotta get a drone view.
I can stand on the roof of my house,
I'm not getting a drone.
My experience with drones.
You've been on the roof?
I've been on the roof,
but I didn't look down at the gopher Sanskrit.
You gotta do that next time.
I just looked out.
Looked out.
Look at the mountain.
Where all this is leading, just so you know,
I'm gonna say something that may be unpopular.
The only way to get rid of gophers, you gotta murder them.
I'm just saying it.
I'm just, they're pests, you gotta kill them.
You know, I know it's unpopular,
but the gophers are just, I mean,
I guess there is some sort of catch and release,
but I mean, give me a break.
They're gonna do the same thing elsewhere
and you may be like, well the govers have just as much
right to the land as we do.
Well, not really, we're humans,
we're a lot smarter and more capable.
So.
I mean, we've hemmed them in with a concrete curb
and sidewalk-age stuff and a house.
I'm not gonna argue with you if you wanna somehow
flush them out like a cartoon with like a hose
and they come out on top of the fountain of water
and then you put them in a bag and take them someplace.
If you wanted to go through that trouble, that's great.
But I'm gonna kill them if they're in my yard.
I'll put that on Vine.
Oh.
Yeah, you get the clicks.
Vine's coming back.
I heard about that.
I'm gonna put it on Vine.
No, I'm not gonna do that.
If I ate the gopher,
would that redeem this whole conversation?
I don't think you have to.
I rustled up the gopher and we ate him.
I mean, you would be so above reproach
if you ate the gophers.
You would be without blame if you killed
and ate the gophers.
But I think this is almost an insect situation.
And like use the pelts for like clothing
for my youngest child.
You know what, you might be onto something.
Lando goes to second grade and like gopher pelts.
How many gophers make a pair of pants?
Well how many gophers make all that
tunnelage in my front yard?
I'd say at least 20 gophers.
You think gopher skin is thick enough
to make pants out of?
Well in LA you can make some shorts, make a t-shirt.
You might make a pair of underwear.
Gopher thongs.
Ooh, does the fur go on the inside or the outside
of a gopher thong?
I think you probably could do both.
Why am I asking you like you know?
I've got some fur thongs.
I've got some fur thong thoughts.
I've got some thoughts on fur thongs.
So what we're saying is that you are,
step one is you go on the roof and you make sure
they're not humans that have been somehow trapped
in gopher bodies and they're trying to communicate with you
and you're their only hope because if they're humans,
we can't just kill them and eat them.
But if you determine that they're not humans.
If that happened, I would take a picture
and I'd put it on Reddit.
You gotta know where these things go.
If you're gonna put a hose in there
and a gopher's gonna pop out,
well that's gonna go on the new Vine.
You gotta get a really powerful hose though,
like a fireman's hose.
But if I take an aerial shot
and something is spelled out by a gopher,
like gophers are humans too. That's a Reddit situation. That's a Reddit situation, and something is spelled out by a gopher like,
gophers are humans too. That's a Reddit situation.
That's a Reddit situation which,
I've started getting into Reddit.
Well I've been there for a while.
I'm looking for you now,
because I'm on there.
I'm not an active poster or commenter.
I got a new phone,
you know I'm not an active phone user.
I'm a lurker.
I'm like a gopher of Reddit.
But I was like, I should, out of guilt,
I should put an app on my phone
to just experience phone-tertainment,
which is not internetainment,
which I consider like YouTube videos,
that's what we are, internetainers.
You downloaded a game, is that what you're saying?
No, I was like looking on the App Store
and then Reddit was recommended for some reason
because I think they revamped the app a few months ago.
They were touting it.
I was like, you know what, I've heard of this Reddit.
Yeah, the front page of the internet, if you will.
Yeah, I mean. They will,
that's what they say. We had the freaking
inventor of Reddit on Ear Biscuits.
Alexis Ohanian, who now is married to Serena Williams.
One of the greatest athletes of all time.
Yeah, crazy.
They have a baby together.
Well, yeah. That guy sat right here.
That guy signed this freaking table
that we're sitting at right now.
And I never even went on his website.
And I don't think I told him that.
No, no. Maybe I did. I did. I probably did. I don't remember that conversation. I'll have went on his website. And I don't think I told him that. No, no. Maybe I did.
I did.
I probably did.
I don't remember that conversation.
I'll have to listen to it or you can listen to it
and tweet at me.
That's one degree away from Serena Williams, Link.
Yeah. Think about that.
So now I guess I can strike up conversations with him
because I'm on Reddit.
And I'll do that sometimes before I'm going to sleep
and I know I'm developing a bad habit.
Oh, don't do that.
Don't be surfing the interwebs.
On Reddit?
Right before you go to bed.
Right before I doze off.
That's a horrible habit.
I'm trying to remember the last thing.
The thing that strikes me is the tone
with which people comment on Reddit.
It is such a specific type of conversation.
Like, no matter what you, it's elevated.
Well, I would say it's refined to be a very specific thing.
It's gotta be funny.
Like, if you click on anything, like if it's cute,
if it's interesting, if it's an infinite loop
of something that's perfectly looped,
that's my favorite thing on Reddit right now,
like perfectly looped mini videos or gifs
or whatever they happen to be.
I'm such an out of touch uncle here.
I can see that.
But if I click on it or like a weird animal video,
like the first comment that I'm gonna read
is gonna be something that is funny,
but in a very specific way, like snarky
and adding something to it.
It's not anything like, and I didn't know this.
I mean, if you're on Reddit,
I know this is obvious to you, listener, and it's just part of your DNA
if you're a Redditor.
But do you know what I'm talking about?
Like the snarky, smart,
lots of times cynical, but it's like,
okay, yeah, what's posted is funny,
but what I'm writing underneath it is also funny,
and I know stuff.
And I'm adding, and then I'm talking about it.
I'm talking about things that I know and like.
But I would say that while that's true, it's also.
Or trolling people.
It's pertinent more often than not.
Contrast it with a YouTube commenter, okay?
Well a lot of YouTube commenters,
they can just comment on something frivolous.
Well because they're seeing something,
I don't know, I guess there are videos too,
but you don't have anybody talk about the color,
the type of shirt that somebody has on.
Like we've already gotten comments about your jacket,
just so you know.
On the video version of this podcast.
The video version of this, which is now
on the Good Mythical Morning channel every Saturday, right?
We've already gotten comments about your jacket, right?
I'd say there are, there's a dozen or more comments
about your jacket already, and then there's comments
about the comments about your jacket.
There's thumbs up, where did Link get his jacket?
I love Link's jacket.
And you know what, it's a fine jacket.
I am admiring the jacket, I'm glad you got the jacket.
You're glad I got the jacket?
But I would never personally comment about the jacket
on a YouTube video because it seems like,
well, why don't I just talk about,
why don't I comment on the subject matter of the video?
I think that actually, the substantive parts of the video,
even a dumb video like we make a lot of dumb videos.
But on Reddit, you're not gonna get a comment
about the jacket, you're gonna get a comment
about the thing that the post is about.
And then people may take issue with certain things,
but that's why I said I feel like it's a slightly
elevated conversation that isn't,
and there's also not a lot of self promotion.
There's not like a lot of come and subscribe to my channel
or the, I see so many comments now on YouTube videos
like hey you scrolling through the comments,
you're beautiful just the way you are.
I mean, give me a freaking break.
I mean, honestly.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Because I'm like, oh, thank you.
No, I don't care for that.
Yeah, I'm not complaining.
I don't care for that.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.
You don't know the person's beautiful?
Who's reading it?
I'm not complaining about Reddit comments.
I'm agreeing with you.
The person that you're saying is beautiful
may be about to go out and commit a heinous crime.
You don't know that they're beautiful.
I'm not talking about physical beauty,
I'm just talking about, you know, moral turpitude.
Is that a word?
Turpentine.
What I'm saying is that, obviously, you can tell
I'm ranting a little bit about the nature
of YouTube comments, but I'm just saying
that's one of the reasons I like to go to Reddit.
So you're saying the Reddit comments are refreshing.
I don't know if I'm to that point.
I'm fascinated by them, I am not annoyed by them,
but there's like, there was an animal clip
because I think I followed one of these animal threads.
Yeah, you gotta have an animal thread.
Yeah, no. Or two or three.
Is it a gopher thread? It was, no. There probably is gotta have an animal thread. Or two or three. Is it a gopher thread?
It was, no.
There probably is a gopher thread.
Well, it was water and then the top said,
wait for it.
And I'm like, well, wait for it?
That's how you're gonna meme this thing?
And then it's like something underneath the water
and like a high angle shot from like a phone basically.
A phone man.
For all I could care.
And I'm like whoa, what is this creature?
It's kind of big, it's underneath the water,
it's like a Loch Ness monster.
This thing, hold on, this thing's about to surface.
It's like, it's crawling, no it's swimming.
It's a Loch Ness Monster type of thing.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden, it emerges from the water
in like a huge flamboyant way.
And I realize it's the huge antlers of a moose.
And then it's a freaking entire moose
just comes up, emerges out of the water and it just freaked me out.
I was like, I didn't see that coming.
I'm glad I waited for it.
Yeah, wait for it.
I'm glad you said wait for it.
And then I'm like, I'm just learning Reddit,
so I'm gonna read the comments about this.
And on YouTube, what would the comments be?
Whoa, a moose!
I like that moose's shirt.
Or like. That moose! I like that moose's shirt. Or like.
That moose is, moose.
That moose is awesome.
That moose is beautiful.
You're just as beautiful as that moose.
Subscribe to me, I've got moose videos.
And I don't know enough about how Reddit works.
Maybe that's happening and those are filtered out.
But the first comment was about
someone talking about how, it was like a smart aleck comment about how the number one predator of a moose is an orca.
Orca. A killer whale.
Killer whale, Shamu, if you will.
And then somebody came in there and said, well, moose have been known to have been killed
by killer whales, but the primary predator
of moose are wolves on land.
And you know, so it's like someone who knows some stuff
is coming in there and saying stuff,
and I'm like, ooh, now they're getting into it.
And then I, like, lo and behold, 15 minutes later,
I'm still reading the comments and now the conversation
is strictly about wolves.
You would not, more specifically,
you would not believe how big a wolf is.
Yeah, okay.
Like that's the specific thread now.
Okay, so that's a little contradictory to what I said,
saying that it's on topic.
It's not on topic.
But it's fascinating that something about a swimming moose,
literally the whole thread was impassioned people
talking about encounters they've had with wolves
and how quote big they are.
Like you would not believe how big a wolf is.
And I'm just like, just my thumb just can't keep up
with this conversation and you know what?
I'm 20 minutes into a thread about how big wolves are
and how they, you know.
And it made you a better person, just face it.
And now it's like, well maybe you've seen a dog
that looks like a wolf.
Okay, you don't have to recreate the thread.
That is not a wolf.
Because incidentally, segue,
that's what we're going to do,
and we're not gonna talk about wolves.
It might come back to how big wolves are,
but we are gonna essentially do the same thing.
We're gonna start a conversation
and then we're gonna go into the rabbit hole
wherever the thread might lead.
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And this is something that we gotta be ready for, Link.
Oh yeah.
We gotta be ready for it.
We're jockeying for position.
Oh.
You know, I'm trying to figure out,
what, I'm trying to figure out what you're doing.
You're trying to figure out what I'm doing.
Oh, you think this is a competition between the two of us?
No, it's just we know that they talk.
And it's gotta be.
It has to be done correctly.
We gotta be on the level.
But there's certain things that we both know we have to do.
Well, one of those things is regardless
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with a dinner or a night out or whatever,
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Me too.
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I've gotten the flowers wrong in the past.
I've made bad decisions.
I've gotten flowers that didn't last long.
One time I got a potted plant.
That was a bad idea. You time I got a potted plant. That was a bad idea.
You don't do the potted plant.
No sir, that's not as romantic as flowers.
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You know Drake's new song.
He released two fresh new tracks, right?
I don't know if you've heard them.
Yes.
But in one of them he says,
there's only two things that I love
and one of those is his bed.
And I'm like, you know what, that's insightful.
Yeah, very.
The other one is his mom.
Now I love more things than that.
So but I think.
He's only got room for two.
Yeah, I mean I'm not gonna judge you, Drake,
but I think he's onto something in loving his bed.
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And now on with the biscuit.
You know what I need?
Everything that it takes to make my breakfast smoothie.
This morning.
Okay, well, you wanna talk about that right now?
No, I just wanna get it out of my system.
I promise I won't take more than 60 seconds.
I just want you to know.
I bet you $60 you'll take more than 60 seconds
because you can't speak about something
for less than a minute.
30 seconds, oh look who's talking.
All of my ingredients, I had them and I made the smoothie
and they all ran out at the same time,
like the spinach and the protein powder
and the peanut butter and the frozen blueberries.
You know, I make it the same every single morning.
Oh really?
I put the recipe in the Mythical Newsletter way back,
if you're a subscriber, so you can drink along with me,
the breakfast of champions.
And it just felt, it felt great to know I was out of things.
That's 30 seconds.
I could get it in time to not be out of it in the morning.
But to have it all end at the same time
and go in the trash can was like the best feeling
I've had all day.
My day started off great for that reason.
Is that it?
That's it, see?
Okay, that was about 50 seconds.
Okay, here is a envelope or an envelope.
It's a different envelope.
The people who use correct grammar say.
But I like, you know, the whole a and thing
seems unnecessary to me.
Mark Ham, oh gosh, this is Mark Hamill
posing as a person with a shorter name.
Mark Ham, what really happens to all the things
that you lose over your lifetime?
What would you do if at the end of your life,
someone gave you a box full of all that stuff?
All the stuff you lose over your lifetime.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now the first part of the question is,
many different answers to that,
but this proposition of having a box
with all the things that you've lost.
Well the first thing that I think about of course is socks
because this is fresh on the mind.
Fresh on the mind, you're looking for a sock?
Well, you may remember,
shout out to Rhett MC on Instagram, that's me.
Gosh, that's gross, man.
Yeah.
Reddit would burn you for that.
Podcast rules are different, man.
Anyway, it's a really good Instagram feed
where I happen to post all my pictures.
You may recall one of my non-selfie posts.
You didn't want me to talk about my smoothie experience
so that you could promote your own Instagram again.
Was a collection, well actually what happened was,
what happened was is my wife had decided
that we were going to,
she was like, we're gonna do sock matching time.
Every week.
Every week she's scheduling, what?
I'm like, oh, fun, fun, fun, sock matching time.
She said every week we're gonna get together
and we're gonna bring our socks
and we're gonna match them up.
She just had it in her mind that it would be
a fun family activity if we were to take all the socks
and all four of us would descend on this pile of socks
like a pack of wolves.
I told you it would come back to wolves.
You wouldn't believe how big a wolf is.
A lot bigger than a dog.
The legs are super long.
Even if you breed. It's like two or three dogs.
Even if you like, there's some breeds of dogs
which are much more closely related to wolves.
But they're still nowhere near the size of a wolf.
That's not true.
That's not true.
I'm quoting a Redditor.
They're not more closely related.
They're just, they have been less altered
by artificial selection.
But they're not more closely, I mean,
I guess maybe you could use that term.
Yeah, of course, yeah.
It's not like they're relatives.
It's not like they have a family reunion
and they come back and say, we're closer to the wolves.
Evolutionarily speaking.
Some dogs are further down a tree than others, man.
It's not really a tree if you're talking
about artificial selection versus natural selection.
Dogs are the way dogs are because of artificial selection,
not natural selection.
Well but in terms of drawing a tree,
it doesn't make a difference.
Who's drawing a tree?
I am and I'm saying when man takes over
the process of evolution,
it's still a branch on the same tree.
And a wiener dog is further away
from a wolf than a Siberian husky.
It's like one of those cell phone towers
that looks like a tree.
Yes.
Anyway, she thought it would be a good idea
for us to descend on this pile and she's like,
everybody pair your socks up and then take them
to your room.
I think you're just describing laundry.
Did everybody bring their?
She tried to make it seem like a party.
Halfway through I realized it wasn't a party.
Halfway through I realized there's nothing fun
about this at all.
But after I had paired all my socks
and the kids had paired their socks
and my wife had paired her socks,
we were left with a collection of
Rogues.
Rogue socks.
And I arranged them in a perfect square
and took a picture, uploaded it to RhettMC on Instagram.
And it wasn't one of my most liked posts ever or anything,
but it was pretty artful.
But what I said that time,
and this is a while ago,
I mean maybe a year, I don't know maybe a year ago, is that I was like,
we gotta do something about these socks.
I was like, first of all, I know I don't really
do the laundry and so I can't really say too much,
but I was like, it can't be this hard
to keep up with the socks.
It's like every time I even begin to broach that
a little bit, my wife just gets very agitated.
And so I can't really go there.
But I was like, we gotta get rid of these rogue socks.
It's like we gotta get them out of the mix.
Because she's like, well, but they turn up.
She's like, the socks eventually turn up
and then you can make the pairs.
Right, right, right.
But I'm like, if they don't turn up
after two or three cycles, they're gone.
Lost.
Until the end of your life.
So we came up with the.
When you're given the box.
Right, so we came up with the idea to start over.
Sock ground zero and actually last night.
Last night?
Well, the other night I went on Amazon
and me and the boys picked out socks
and me and Locke picked.
Hey boys, let's have my version of a sock party.
Which is just buying a bunch of new socks indiscriminately.
No, no, no, no, it was, so the new system is.
I'm intrigued by this.
All the socks are the same.
My socks and Locke's socks are the same.
Same exact?
Same exact socks, so.
Well he's a man now, or you're a boy now.
Yeah, either way, young at heart.
Either way, we share socks.
So there's none of this like Locke socks, Rhett socks.
Shepherd's smaller, he gets his own sock.
Locke and I decided on, well, I'll show you.
I see where you're going with this as you,
are you pulling up a sock?
No, not a sponsor, Dickies.
This is actually a work sock, but you know what?
I'm working all the time.
And it's just a thick black sock with a gray bottom
and then it says Dickies right there on the toe.
It's kinda hard to see that part.
You don't have to see it to believe it.
And how, is that a crew sock?
What are we talking about?
I couldn't see the top of it.
Half calf crew, yeah.
Crew sock.
Yeah, right, you know, it's down right now, but you know.
And it's an affordable sock.
That was goal number one.
And I like black socks.
Because basically what you're saying is
between two people in your house,
you've bought a whole bunch of socks
and then they all go together. It's just, you know, you of socks and then they all go together.
It's just, you just find two and they automatically
go together, there's no searching.
Yeah, and Shepard got gray socks.
So they're different.
And then Jessie just kept her socks
because they're totally different.
So then last night.
For her, socks is like a form of expression.
All the socks came in a box, a socks box.
And I got them out. A box of socks.
And I was like, this is gonna be incredible.
Now this is a frickin' sock party.
Let's take these socks out, let's put them in our drawers,
and I mean, not our pants, but you know, the drawers,
and let's put, let's throw all the other socks away,
or let's give the socks to Goodwill, whatever.
And so then.
You're giving one.
No, no, no, no.
Like odd out socks. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
One sock's trash.
Old pairs of socks that don't fit the new system,
which is all my socks are the same,
the same as Locke's, and Shepherd's socks are all the same,
get thrown out, given away.
Now, yes.
But she wouldn't go for this.
What?
Speaking of gophers, I knew we'd come back to gophers.
Because you would not believe how big a gopher that is.
She saw these Nike black socks and she was like,
well we can just keep these.
They're good socks.
But they're not Dickies.
They're paired together, they're nice.
They ruined the system because now all of a sudden
there's gonna be a rogue Nike sock swimming in the Dickies.
I don't think, she might have tuned out
at some point during your party.
Yeah.
So there's, I didn't succeed.
Oh.
It's not all Dickies, no.
Now you're sneaking socks and taking them out of the house.
In my drawer it's all.
The Nikes have to go.
I'm a little upset about this.
I'll throw them away later.
She won't even know.
She won't even know. she won't even know.
The sock phantom can come.
So that's how I've solved this problem in my house.
I got a few follow up questions.
Are you telling me you've committed to a crew sock,
length sock?
Because what about a no show?
Because I think that's pretty important.
Okay, I'm glad you asked.
If it was me, I would have said, you know what,
right now at this juncture of my life,
even at this point in my,
I'll just show, look, I'll just show you here.
Look at that, black sock, black pants,
hairy, ankly, white strip in the middle is my flesh.
Because if I'm wearing a shoe,
you can't tell that I'm wearing a sock.
It's a no-show sock.
Well, that's- You familiar?
That's a, that's not quite, that's not a super no-show.
A super no-show is- It's not a super no-show.
It's just, well, given my shoes, it's a no-show.
Given the particular pair of shoes
that you have on right now. Yeah, I'm not wearing
like a loafer or a penny loafer.
Penny loafer.
Now you.
But so that's what I would choose
and that's what I'm gonna choose
because I'm gonna do this.
Okay well.
Let's all do this Mythical Beast.
I don't wanna throw a wrench into your sock party
but let me just say I did also buy.
Crew socks.
No. Crew socks. No.
I mean.
I bought no-show white athletic socks.
White?
For the gym time.
That's risky, because even that little peaking of white coming out is just cheap.
You should have gotten black for those.
But you didn't want to mix it up with your longies.
The only, exactly, exactly, Link.
You saw where I was going with this.
They were white, even though I would prefer them
to be black, they were white so that I could.
Because they had to be.
So the sock party will be easier.
Now let me also say, I have an extreme no-show sock
from previous decisions.
Right, that looks like a ballerina slipper.
It's basically this little gray thing
that they sell at Urban Outfitters, you know,
where it's basically, it's not you don't want the socks
to show, you don't want people to know
that you even think about socks.
That's called a no-no sock.
Right, it's like, yeah, and it barely fits around,
I mean, it's embarrassing to be caught with these socks on
and nothing else.
If somebody sees you walking around
in just those socks and no shoes,
it just drains any masculinity that you may have right out.
You have to have a backstory for those.
You have to have a story.
My story is if I'm ever caught in those,
I just say they're therapeutic.
And then I just leave it at that.
Because people don't like to ask medical questions.
For toe circulation. He's got a condition Because people don't like to ask medical questions. For toe circulation.
They're like, oh, he's got a condition,
I don't wanna ask about it.
Like TSA.
TSA gives you a lucky luck, it's therapeutic.
These are my therapeutic socks, can I leave them on?
I mean, I signed up for PreCheck just to avoid
having to say anything about therapeutic socks.
Right, because you wanna wear them sometimes.
Anyway, I kept those because those are so distinct
and I have two pairs of shoes, you know these shoes,
those little, they're actually a Timberland shoe.
Those little gray shoes that I have that are almost cloth,
the simplest shoes, it's called Earth something
from Timberland.
And I love those shoes.
I got a couple of pairs and you have to wear no,
if you wear socks with those shoes, dorky time.
Yeah.
It's like clocking into dorky town.
So.
Checking back in, sir.
I'm sorry that you missed me for a few hours
when I was wearing no show socks,
but I'm back in Darkytown.
Where's my assignment, sir?
But the problem is is that my feet.
The lemonade concession stand?
My feet.
Arnold Palmer's, three for a dollar.
Sweat like you wouldn't believe, you know.
I don't sweat under my arms, I sweat from the ends.
I sweat from the hands and the feet.
The extremities.
Yeah, I don't know, something about the height
and the centrifugal force.
Right.
There's a lot of leverage.
You swing the sweat out of your extremities.
Right, and so anyway, I kept those,
they're easy to keep up with,
and then I kept my dress socks,
but they're polluting the drawer.
So I took all the dress socks,
because I never wear dress socks unless we do something
where you have to wear dress socks.
And so I took the dress socks, I put them in a shoe box,
put it in the top of the closet.
For that special time when you need
to pull out a dress sock. Dress socks.
And you never will by the way.
That's the system so far.
You might as well burn that box.
Or give it to the goodwill.
You'll never access that box.
I don't believe you, I think I will.
I'm only one day in though.
I started wearing dressier socks
because I would,
you know I have dress socks
because I get a new pair every time we would go on Fallon,
because people, you throw your leg up,
and you expose the sock, and then people will comment on it.
We gotta do the double leg thing.
It's that YouTube comment thing, you guys wanna,
we post, hey look, we were on the Tonight Show,
and you're like, let me comment about your socks.
Yeah, we feed right into it.
We feed right into it.
We should wear Dickies next time.
And talk about it.
Yeah.
And not get paid.
Yeah.
Hopefully there will be a next time.
You know, we had that falling out with Jimmy
last time we were in there.
Yeah, I know, you said that thing about, yeah.
No, we're just joking.
Jimmy, you know we're joking.
And we know you're listening.
That's right.
Best of friends.
You wouldn't believe how big a wolf is.
Um.
Gophers are people too.
I mean we got a couple of things
we could throw on t-shirts already.
Gophers may be people too.
Gophers are people too.
Yeah that's probably a better shirt.
Right it is an aerial view, this is the shirt design.
It's a front yard, it's your patch of grass.
Yeah it's my patch of grass and then it's spelt.
The gophers have done it.
So anyway, when I open my sock drawer
and I see those dress socks,
it's kinda like a timeline of pleasant memories
that I've had with Jimmy Fallon, honestly.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm kind of attached to those.
And then Christy got me a pair of camouflage socks
that have little wiener dogs on them that look like Jade.
And I'm pretty, I call those my favorite socks.
Oh, but you also got some from a Mythical Beast.
Yep, and then a Mythical Beast on tour
in the meet and greet line gave me, and you too,
you got a pair, we each got a pair of socks
with an actual printed picture of our dogs on them.
So I have Jade's face on my socks.
Yeah, the people who follow the Red MC Instagram account
know about my Barbara socks.
And those socks are important to me too.
Christy was mad, by the way, when I brought those home
because she said, I was gonna get you some of those
for your Christmas stocking.
She had a sock party planned.
She had, yeah, she had to cancel it.
But even, so I've got all these special
dress socks up there, but then I keep looking for these.
Is it, what drawer is it in?
Black, the top drawer.
The one closest to my face.
Is it all socks in there or do you got different,
how do you separate the dress socks from the regular socks?
There's an organizer on the left side
and it's got like little.
You have a dress, you have an organizer in the drawer?
In the drawer, yeah.
And in that.
Should've known that.
There's like a lighter and there's like a candle or two.
This is my bedroom.
You know, you gotta have.
You have a candle in the sock drawer?
It's a candle lighter slash sock drawer, okay?
There's a couple of receipts,
there's a receipt area in there.
Your socks don't smell like candles?
What if they do?
That could be worse.
That's a bonus.
Now if your candles smell like socks,
then you got a prob.
So I'm running over your system here,
but I'm compelled because every time I open the drawer,
I see all these socks
that are special to me but I'm always looking
for the black little socks like the ones I just showed you.
Yeah, your default socks.
Yeah and they're hardly ever there.
Right.
And a while back I bought a whole slew of them
and I was like they'll all be the same
and I can put them together but then Lincoln's socks,
I think all of my stocks
have slowly migrated either to like the upside down
or they're in Lincoln's drawers because somebody else
who's organizing the socks thinks that they're all his.
So you're really onto something with.
If your wife is the one who handles that,
you just have to say, this is my sock.
I pair a lot of socks, Lincoln pairs a lot of socks too,
but I think you're right, I gotta combine forces
with my oldest son.
Yeah, his foot's big enough now.
Yeah.
He's got a daddy foot now.
He's got a wide foot.
So I'm really open to this, but I don't know what to do
with all my special socks.
You say cut bait?
I just think that I.
How long are we gonna talk about what we're gonna do
with our socks?
I don't know, I think we can talk about it for a long time.
The socks.
The specialty.
It's a good system though.
Specialty socks, I thought about this,
as I put the Barbara socks into the shoe box,
which you say will never see the light of day.
Yeah.
I thought to myself, it is possible
that I will forget about this box of special socks.
And you know what, I'm okay with that
because here's ultimately what I'm doing here.
I am eventually going to wear the same thing every day
and I'm starting with the socks.
All right, we've talked about this.
And there's absolutely no doubt in my mind
that wearing exactly the same thing every day
is the preferred way to dress.
I mean, there is absolutely,
you cannot talk me out of this.
Steve Jobs was a smart man.
Very, very creative guy.
But you know what?
It's a decision he didn't want to devote his mind to.
And I haven't read or talked to him about that decision.
But a lot of people who do that,
a lot of people who make a lot of decisions do that
because they don't want to start their day
with a lame decision like what am I gonna wear?
Here's a caveat though.
I was told by someone who had personal interactions
with Steve Jobs recently that he would walk around
work with turtleneck, tennis shoes,
and cut off jean shorts.
Frequently.
Had you ever heard this about Steve Jobs?
Until you got to cut off jeans, I was seeing.
Yeah, the uniform.
The exact same uniform except in shorts form.
And like, not jean shorts but like the jeans
that you would normally see him in for the keynote.
The pleated jeans that he typically had on.
Cut with scissors.
Simple, efficient, just like an Apple computer.
It's like everything that I,
I wear the same thing every day,
the only problem is sometimes I wish I was wearing shorts.
Solution, I'm gonna cut the jeans, and he did that.
It is the most immediate solution.
Yeah.
When the only thing you're thinking about is efficiency,
the first thing you do is you just cut the jeans.
You don't get another type of clothing.
I stand by it, I think it's a great idea.
I'm nervous, I mean, our comments would just go away.
Oh no, no, no, we can't.
No engagement.
I'd have to, here's the thing, I'd have to use,
I'd have to dress up, like dressing up to be a character
to do our show, but then in my everyday life,
I would be wearing the same thing.
So I'm not sure.
We do keep, this is a fond topic of ours
because we do go back to it a lot.
I'll add a data point for me which is,
I don't know how I acquired some like legitimate sweatpants
and I think this is what you talked about
you would ultimately wear, sweatpants,
on like a podcast that we did.
Probably.
And I went a whole day just wearing those sweatpants
and I actually went out in public with them on
and everything and I'm like,
you know I've seen pictures of Kanye coming out of the,
going in and out of the studio and people are talking about,
look Kanye is smiling, 2018's gonna be amazing.
And he's wearing just sweatpants.
Yeah, what a guy.
I'm like man, if Kanye can do it,
he's a fashion icon.
He's an everything icon to me.
What kind of sweatpants?
Just think of the most normal sweatpants.
Like nothing fashionable at all about them.
The bottom just has that stringy thing.
Like it doesn't have like the fancier cuff,
like none of that.
But I am, I really admire what you've done with your socks.
Oh well I appreciate it.
Now, but let's get back to Mark Ham's question.
If all those socks-
All the socks that don't have pairs, are they-
If they came back at the end of your life,
that's the thing that throws me.
But what do you think?
Do you think that, okay, and I'm talking like,
we're talking 30 to 40 socks, easy.
In a lifetime?
No, right now in my house.
Yeah, right now.
Are all the other socks in my house in different places?
What percentage of the socks are in my house
and where are they in my house?
And if I had to, if somebody came to me and said,
we're gonna burn your house down
if you don't find every one of these socks
in the next 24 hours.
What methods would I employ to find them
and where would they be?
You might as well be asking me to cure cancer right now.
I mean, it's like, that is freaking,
it's not fair, man.
That's not a fair question.
I got a couple of guesses.
What's the key to world peace?
No, no, but.
Where are the socks? There is no answer. What's the key to world peace? No, no, but.
Where are the socks?
There is no answer.
There's no answer.
Yeah, but there are answers.
Okay, I'm gonna try.
Let's think of some possibilities.
First of all, 87% of the time,
if you look at any one unmatched sock,
80% certainty that that other sock is in the house.
Like if there was a tracker on it,
you could even hear it.
I'd go above 95%.
95%?
95% of all socks are still in the house.
And then of that 95%, my theory is that 50% of those
are in the laundry room.
Probably behind the washing machine, at least in my house.
They're under the washing machine,
they're behind the washing machine.
Like I'd say, so in my case, we're talking 15 to 20
individual socks probably in the laundry room.
And like whenever we change the washer in the future.
I think it's an equal distribution.
Like if you look at the life cycle of a sock
at every place where there's a transfer, okay,
then there's a big chance that there's gonna be
a separation, there's gonna be like a
Todd and Copper situation, you know? They're gonna, one of there's gonna be a separation. There's gonna be like a Todd and Copper situation.
One of them's gonna grow up,
one of them's gonna have to go away for the summer,
is gonna come back, and the other one's gonna be grown up
and they can't be friends anymore.
Who's Todd and Copper?
You know, Fox and the Hound.
Oh.
You take off your socks, you throw them in the dirty clothes,
but one of them misses the hamper.
It's behind the hamper.
And then you pick up the hamper,
and then it scoots under the mat.
Or it's, you know, they're separated.
They're in different ecosystems.
Does Jade get your socks?
Uh, no.
Barbara is often seen in our house
just walking around with a sock in her mouth.
I mean, there she goes.
I mean, so she's the X factor, man.
Oh yeah.
A dog that likes to put socks in her mouth,
that's an X factor.
Yeah, oh yeah, I mean, that's crazy.
Because even without the dog, then you take the hamper,
if they're both in the hamper and you dump it out
before you're gonna put it in, maybe you pull're both in the hamper and you dump it out before you're gonna put it in,
maybe you pull it out of the hamper
and you're throwing everything or trying to sort stuff
to go into the washing machine.
And then, you know, things are getting separated there.
You pull stuff out of the washing machine
and you're immediately just gonna throw it in that dryer
and you're grabbing the biggest hunks of clothes you can
in order to like only do it in three goes.
And what's gonna fall to the ground?
One of the socks.
And then it's gonna get pushed under.
You know, depending on if you're a top load
or a front load.
It's like, I've thought about all this and it's just folly.
You've done a good thing.
You've sidestepped all of it.
You know there's gonna be, there's a sock attrition rate.
You know, you're constantly, it's like skin cells.
They're just dying.
Right. And you know what?
You don't need to stop and think about saving them.
You gotta move forward.
Just literally do it.
You gotta live with the skin you got.
Live in the skin you're in, not the skin that's falling off.
Now, were you a part of this conversation?
It was either a show or a podcast or I don't know.
Maybe we talked about it on.
You just don't know if I was there.
On Good Mythical Morning.
But I.
I was probably there.
There is a guy who insists on,
he believes that there's a right sock and a left sock.
He believes that there's a sock for your right foot
and a sock for your left foot. Now he understands that socks are not made for right feet and left sock. He believes that there's a sock for your right foot and a sock for your left foot.
Now, he understands that socks are not made
for right feet and left feet.
I mean, there are some specialty socks that are made,
obviously toe socks.
I've never heard contributed or been a part of
or glanced at this conversation.
So this is a fact, there is a dude,
I think it was probably on one of these
like ridiculous reality shows where it was probably on one of these
ridiculous reality shows where it was something
a couple was arguing over.
Like Big Brother or something?
No, I'm talking like a Dr. Phil type of thing.
It was like, this man,
Springer,
insists on wearing his socks on his left and his right foot
and his wife wants to kill him because of it.
On the next Dr. Phil.
But the,
here's what he did.
He,
he, no no, he believed that once he wore a sock,
It became that,
It stretched to fit,
It oriented,
It oriented itself as a right foot or left foot.
He swore up and down that he could put on
or left foot for the right foot and he would know.
So he made his wife label his socks right and left.
And I think he went as far, so you had to match.
Don't bring your wife into this.
I mean label your own dang socks.
You had to match the pair,
but then it had to be the right and the left.
And so, I mean, this was, it's absolutely nuts.
But, so you haven't heard of that before.
But that guy, when he loses, see, I've gone completely
to the opposite end of the spectrum, where I'm not even,
it's not, I'm not just mixing, I'm not just mixing
left and right, I was already doing that.
I'm not just mixing pairs of socks. Now I'm mixing who mixing left and right, I was already doing that. I'm not just mixing pairs of socks.
Now I'm mixing who the socks are for
because I'm sharing them amongst the family.
Right.
I mean, and as soon as Shepherd's foot is big enough,
we're all gonna be wearing the same socks
and if I can get my wife to just wear my socks too,
we could all be wearing the same socks.
She is three feet shorter than you.
How much shorter is her foot than yours?
Your sock, your no-sew sock, I can't say it,
would go all the way to her knee.
But you know what, it would make your life simpler.
Yeah.
Okay, but what about other things?
Because, why is Jessie wearing stockings all of a sudden all the time?
What else have you lost of significance
in the past, let's say, year?
Serious.
Really digging deep for this one.
I'm trying to think of something else that I've lost.
You lose things all the time.
Then I find them usually.
I lose things that are really important to me
and so everything has to stop
and I have to find it right then.
Like keys, wallet, ID, credit card,
middle child, you know?
It's like things that, okay, this is serious.
I really can't think of anything else that I've lost
that would be in that box at the end of my life.
I mean, do you have something else that you've lost?
Now, yeah, so interestingly,
I don't lose wallet keys, I mean I'm not saying
I don't misplace it from time to time
and I do have the Tile because the Tile was a sponsor
so I've got the Tile on my keys in my wallet.
But my phone, my keys in my wallet,
99 days out of 100 when I'm leaving,
I just, I know where they're at.
Even if, and I don't even leave them in the same place.
It's just, there's a couple of places
that I might leave things.
I don't really lose those kinds of things.
So then what have you lost recently?
What are you looking for?
I lose sunglasses.
Now you don't lose sunglasses,
you have prescription sunglasses and they're super expensive
and you wear them religiously.
I have like cheap, multiple pairs of cheap,
you know, less than $20 sunglasses.
But I did have a pair of those Ray-Bans
that folded up into a square, which was unnecessary,
I will say.
Who needs it to be a square, really?
But I lost those.
You know why?
Because they folded up into a square.
It's half the size.
They need to, whenever you take them off,
they need to expand to the size of like a unfurled flag.
That's what they really have needed to be.
It's just anything that's not a part of my routine
is susceptible to being lost.
But I can't think of anything, I did, you know,
I lost my phone last year, first ever phone.
I've never had a phone break and I've never lost a phone
in 10 years or however many years it's been,
longer than that, of cell phone use.
But you know the story of, I think I told it on the podcast
of having the phone fall out of my pocket while skiing.
It's Sundance and then,
but I technically didn't lose it
because I could locate it with Find My iPhone
on like for the next three weeks
because it was so cold and the battery.
You were separated from it but you didn't lose it,
is that what you're saying? Yeah, but I lost it because it was so cold. The battery. You were separated from it, but you didn't lose it. Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, but I lost it because I never got it.
I just don't know why, even if you were prone
to lose things that were important to you,
like if they showed up on your death bed in a box,
that would just be very frustrating.
That would be horrible, wouldn't it?
No, no, I actually think this is a beautiful proposition.
Really, because I think it's like,
man, I even, I finally gave up on that,
and it's like, well, you know,
and then you know the box is coming when you're dying,
it's like, man, I can't find this,
and I know it's gonna show up to thumb its nose at me
when I'm dying.
Well, I wasn't picturing it like that,
like it was that everyone knows
that there's this box that's brought to you.
What I was saying is that if I was about to die
and somebody was like Rhett, we have this box,
this magical box because this box really can't exist,
but it's everything that you ever lost.
It mostly sucks, but dig through those
and you'll get to something important.
I think that it would be a way to,
it would be like a interesting anti-catalog of my life
because I'd be like, oh yeah, I remember that thing.
From this point, I think it would be amazing.
I would love that.
And then you'd be like, I didn't even know I lost that.
I just forgot, I forgot to think about it for a while.
Well, you know, let me, I do remember something
that I lost and then I found.
And I'm gonna run it through the grid of how I felt
and see if maybe you're right about this box.
Even if it is the end of your life and you're dying.
I know what you're gonna talk about right now.
I was, because I'm actually driving the FJ this week
because the car's in the shop,
Christy's got to drive, her car's in the shop,
gotta drive my car so then I'm driving the FJ
because you don't drive it,
you don't need it every day.
So I've been driving that thing and it reminded me
that last time I was driving that thing for a long time,
it wouldn't, the gear stick wouldn't work, right?
And then I gave it back to you and you're like,
gear shift won't work.
And eventually you got upset
because it would go into drive and it would go into park
but it wouldn't go into the lower drive gears, right?
Like it wouldn't go into drive three, two, or one
like if you wanted to downshift manually.
It was very difficult.
By the way, I do a lot, like driving in the hills and stuff.
Of course.
I like downshift, I like using the transmission
to slow down, not the brakes.
That is a good, according to car talk,
that's a good thing to do.
Well, everyone should be doing that.
You could ruin your brakes in one downhill descent.
Yeah, everybody should do that.
That's redundant.
But you couldn't, for some reason you couldn't do that.
The gear shift thing was broken, but I didn't fix it.
It's your responsibility now.
Thanks.
So then you took it in and I mean,
you can tell the story, right?
They came back to you and told you what was wrong with it.
You remember?
Oh yeah, but I don't.
So this isn't the story you thought I was gonna tell.
No, no, no.
Okay.
I remember now, but I don't remember what it was.
Well you came up to me and you put something in my hand
and you were like, this is yours, isn't it?
And I'm like yeah, that's my Leatherman tool.
It's a knife with all this, it's like a Swiss Army knife
but it's bigger and I was like dang, I lost that.
And you're like well the mechanic found it
inside of the transmission of the FJ
and it had lodged down in there.
You know.
Well it didn't make it all the way to the transmission
but it was.
To the gear shift.
It was in the housing.
And it literally wouldn't let the gear shift go
and I was like that's where that thing went.
I remember putting it down next to the gear shift.
And it's amazing because, you know,
there's like this very small little slit
that the gear shift travels through.
Yeah but there's like a leather thing
that goes around the hole and goes up
and snugs up on the gear shift.
It was a little bit loose.
And it had snuck under there and like gone
into the upside down.
But when I got that thing back, I was like,
man, this is great because I put this in the
upper cup holder of my car so that then
it's a makeshift platform to then set my phone on perfectly
so I can look at using my phone as a GPS.
And with that, it's been gone for the past month.
I can't see the bottom half of my GPS in the holder
and I was really bummed out about that
because of course, I'm not allowed to use the actual knife
part of my knife, I just use it as a platform for my phone.
So I was pretty pumped to get that thing back.
I'm sorry that it cost you some money to fix your gear shift
but totally worth it from my perspective.
So, but I wasn't dying.
If I was dying, I was like, man, I'd rather not know
that this thing was gone that whole time.
You wouldn't even remember it,
you probably wouldn't even remember it at that point
when you were dying.
What did you think I was gonna say that I lost?
I thought you were gonna talk about the blood oath.
Oh yeah, that, oh I would love to get that back.
Because that's the perfect thing.
You know the story, we did a blood oath in middle school
saying that we were gonna grow up together
and create things together.
It happened, it worked, the blood oath worked.
We wrote a contract on a piece of paper,
two different pieces of paper and we said,
we will, something to the effect of,
we will create something together.
We're gonna work together to create something.
And it was very nebulous because we didn't know
what that would be or whatever.
We cut our palms with rocks, sharp rocks.
And then we smeared our blood on the tube. We didn't actually, I don't know what that would be or whatever. We cut our palms with rocks, sharp rocks. And then we smeared our blood on the tube.
We didn't actually, I don't know if we actually shook hands.
I don't think.
It was more about taking blood
and putting it on a sheet of paper.
It was signing it.
And like there was my blood and your blood
on each piece of paper and we each had a copy.
And you immediately lost yours.
No I lost, I mean I probably lost mine.
I probably put mine in my desk with a bunch of other stuff.
But you kept yours in your wallet until what age?
College.
No.
High school.
High school, I was definitely 16 because I was driving
and I was like, I remember the last, I lost my wallet.
It was at that party at Trent Hamilton's house
when his parents went out of town.
Oh, I remember that night.
And then I lost my wallet there.
And then when I eventually found my wallet,
it wasn't in there.
And or, like, it's very fuzzy,
but I remember that I recovered the wallet,
but the thing wasn't in it,
or I realized that at some point it was no longer in it
and that I had lost it, the oath.
I'd love to have that back.
Yeah, see, you'd love to have that
and you'd love to have it on your deathbed.
That would be a good moment to say, wow,
that's like a time capsule moment.
Yeah, it's ironic that something so important to you,
you could still lose.
So then when you, you know, even when you're dying,
you could be glad to see it.
Well, the first part of the question,
you know, what happens to all that stuff,
I think that your Leatherman story illustrates this,
is that there's a perfectly logical explanation
for everything that you've ever lost, right? So it isn't for everything that you've ever lost, right?
So it isn't like anything that you've ever lost
was like a leprechaun took it from you.
Like that's not the kind of thing that happens, right?
There's a sort of like, ah, I can't,
of course that's where the thing is.
Of course that's where the sock is.
Of course that's where the oath is.
There's that one crevice that you just haven't creased.
But it's amazing how often, even though it's obvious
where these things end up most likely,
how often it still happens.
It's just, but I think the explanation
to the first part of your question, Mark,
would just be kind of like, oh, yeah,
that's what happened to it.
Boring, you know what I mean?
Slipped through the frickin' crack in the gear shift.
Do you remember about a year ago,
I think this was on Twitter,
there was the person who found her
on Twitter, there was the person who found her
elderly mother's wedding ring, like diamond ring was lost in like the backyard
and then they were pulling up carrots in the garden
and they pulled up a carrot.
And it had a freaking ring around it.
And it had her freaking, it had grown through the wedding ring
and you could see that the carrot was bigger
on either side of the wedding ring.
It was like, you know,
just like if a tree grows around a barbed wire fence.
That's what it looked like.
Yeah.
I mean, many years later.
I don't think it was, it was much more than that.
And that perfectly proves the point.
The losing was unspectacular.
The losing was fell off while gardening,
went into the grass.
But the finding was spectacular.
Plucking a carrot out of the ground.
And that's like, that's kind of what the box
at the end of your life represents.
But yeah, and to take the analogy further,
that carrot had to die for her to get that ring back.
So, you think they ate it?
You think they ate the carrot to get to the ring?
Definitely.
They boiled it.
That's how they prepared it.
Could've picked a better way.
But ultimately, ultimately,
the goal should be to get to a place where
it doesn't matter if you lose things.
Where you're not attached to any material object
to the extent where you care what happens to it.
Well it's interesting because.
Isn't that the ultimate goal? On a philosophical level?
On like a wellness level?
Yeah, to recognize that, okay, even, okay,
let's take our wedding rings right now, okay?
There's sentimental value attached to our wedding rings.
There is significantly more sentimental value
attached to your wedding ring,
not because your marriage is more sentimental than mine,
but because I had this ring made for me
and for my marriage, so it's as old as my marriage
in this form.
I'm sure that the elements in it are much older.
But your ring.
But mine is my grandfather, my papa Clyde,
who passed away in 1998.
This is his wedding ring when he married my nanny,
who I guess two podcasts ago I told you about visiting her
over the holidays.
I thought you just said Tupac.
Two podcasts ago, who Tupac was very good friends with.
It's like, where is this going?
Who Tupac dedicated many of his raps to,
my nanny and my papa Clyde.
So this is Clyde's wedding ring.
Me and my papa Clyde. So this is Clyde's wedding ring.
And then when he passed away,
Christy and I had just started dating
and that was one of the first times she met my family
was coming to the funeral.
Like meeting like, I don't know,
it might have been the first time she met Nanny.
I don't, I'll have to ask her.
Either way.
That's beside the point.
The ring is incredibly valuable. Yeah, it's her. Either way. That's beside the point. The point is I got. The ring is incredibly
valuable. Yeah, it's his wedding ring
and now it's my wedding ring. And the way that you
fidget with your ring a lot more than I do,
you take your frickin' ring off all the time.
Yeah, I could. And I've seen you drop it
in weird places. Yeah, I drop it,
I drop it in meetings on a weekly basis.
It could stroll down a sewer grate at any moment.
But let's explore for a moment.
That would be horrifying to me.
What is it, like materially speaking,
is your ring more valuable?
So what I'm saying, so like,
the value of your ring is in,
obviously it's in the intrinsic value
of the metals or whatever,
but the value that you've attached to it
that gives it more value than mine.
The sentimental value.
Is a value that exists in your mind.
It's just a value that exists in your mind, right?
So I'm not saying that it's not significant.
I'm not trying to downplay it, right?
I really wanna explore this because.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is that value made of?
Like legitimately, is it not true that that value
is very simply a neural pathway in your mind
that is connected to your grandfather?
And so basically there's a certain collection of neurons
in your brain that fire in a certain pattern.
I don't know how the brain works.
And it's all the value that you attach
to this physical object that you wear around your
one specific finger that has been chosen by our culture
to signify that you're married,
you've attached extra value to that
because of whose it was, whose other finger it was on.
And I'm not saying that's a bad thing,
I'm just saying that is it ultimately a good thing
that we have the capacity to attach that much value to it?
And what does that even mean?
Is that even real value?
Well, and let me tell you another quick story.
Tell me another story.
In order to explore this further
because it has a twist ending,
which will, I think, bring up a related question.
Maybe answer your question.
I think bring up a related question.
Maybe answer your question.
Night before last, Christy relayed what she had done
and what had happened. She said she was cleaning out drawers in the dining room,
which is something that Christy and I,
it's a hobby of both of ours to clean out drawers.
And she said, I found the handwritten log
from last year when Lily was just out of her back surgery
and she was recovering and we had to log
all of the medication she was taking
to take it at the proper times
and also how much food she was eating
because she had to gain weight
and she had complications associated with the surgery
that meant that she had to, you know,
we had to get more calories in her
for reasons that I don't need to go into.
But anyway, so this basically one sheet of paper
was an artifact from that moment in Lily's life when,
you know, it was a big test for her.
So Lily was at school, Christy said,
I went into her room and I put it on her bed
and I put a note on it that said,
just in case you've forgotten how strong you are,
because she was talking about how she was
having some challenges at school or whatever,
just look at this.
And then it was that she attached the note to that log.
And then Christy says,
and so Lily got home and it meant a lot to her to get that
and it was very sweet and she said,
so of course I think what I'm gonna do,
and this is Christy talking,
of course I think what I'm gonna do now and this is Christy talking, of course I think what I'm gonna do now
is I'm just gonna take a picture of the log
and then throw it away.
And I was like, I was shocked that she said that.
But it's interesting, right?
I think she's on the right track.
She's transferring it to the cloud.
Now, if you could transfer that to a locket
and wear it around your neck, maybe that's,
I'm gonna make, there's two different things going on here.
It's like, the wedding band is something
that's on your person, like this is,
like when I get naked, I'm still wearing this.
Good.
You know, which, yeah, it's good for like a number
of reasons, because it's good for a number of reasons
because it's a wedding band.
But if she was gonna burn that thing
and then put the ashes in a locket
and carry it around her neck as a symbol
of her own inner strength, that could be meaningful.
But just having a sheet of paper
that you're gonna shove in a drawer and then maybe lose or it's gonna deteriorate
or something, you might as well digitize it
so in the event of a fire, you're not running
trying to find it.
So I think that's the threshold.
If you can't carry it on your person even when you're naked,
I think then you should move it to the cloud.
Like, I can carry a note while naked.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I could do that.
Without the use of your hands.
I think that's the, see.
I can find a place.
Because I,
are we close to answering your question, which was?
Yeah, yeah, you're all over it, right?
Because basically what Christy is doing
when she says that she's going to take a picture of this
is she's saying that the thing that is valuable
is the particular arrangement of that information, right?
Which can be captured digitally.
And at some point could even be recreated physically
through a 3D printer.
All the pictures that we scan to put in our book,
now that they're A, in our book, and then B, scanned,
to me, there's no sense.
Like that box of artifacts in our office now.
We could lose it because it's been archived.
You could burn it, you could as soon as burn it now.
Actually, you're talking about two very,
very interesting things, right?
Which there's another podcast in this whole thing.
And we can't talk about it forever,
but the first thing you're talking about is
just what is it that we're attaching the value to?
Like, and then the second part is what is attached value?
Because it kinda goes back to the conversation that we had.
You know, shout out to the Red MC Twitter.
I don't shout out to Twitter very much.
I mean, I really don't, so you gotta give me a chance.
I tweeted, I told you about the restaurant experience
I had at Dialogue Restaurant in Los Angeles.
And it was a gift for my in-laws
to go to this incredible restaurant
that was like a 12 course meal and the chef was.
12 course meal.
Absolutely amazing and I told you about the story,
the story,
the story associated with Every Dish, right? Yeah.
And the fact that he had certain albums playing
while you were eating in this restaurant
and he said, I'm specifically playing albums
that really make sense as an album.
In fact, some of these albums,
like he referenced one of the Roots albums and he was like, this is actually not that great of an album, in fact some of these albums, like he referenced one of the Roots albums,
and he was like this is actually not that great of an album
if you listen to it on shuffle,
because it's actually the arrangement of the songs
and the story that they tell and the order that they tell him
that is where the beauty in the album is.
And so he said that's specifically the way
that I've arranged this meal.
So I told you the fascinating thing about this
is that in every course in the meal,
there was a piece, there was an ingredient
from the previous course that was looking back to the past
and there was an ingredient from the future course,
the next course that was looking to the future.
So it was linked, it all bridged.
Everything was linked together.
And then there was even things on top of that
like this particular one is inspired by this painting
and there's the painting and the painting was up
in the restaurant and he would point to it.
And we had the greats, we were at the bar,
could see him make these dishes.
One of the most incredible meal experiences of my life.
Now, if you just isolated one of those dishes
and just brought it out and ate it,
I'd be like, this is an incredible meal.
But, you know, a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich
is an incredible meal.
I mean, the flavor combination
in a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich,
it doesn't get much better than that.
A piece of pizza from a fine pizza establishment,
it doesn't get much better than that
in terms of flavor in your mouth, right?
But the story connected with a piece of pizza
is that well, it's from this restaurant,
they make it all, but the story connected to
any particular course in this meal that I was having,
the value add from my brain to the meal experience
that I was having that then impacted the physical sensation
that was actually taking place in my mouth
which was then sending more signals back to my brain
which enhanced the whole experience.
That's humanity, that's how we interact with life.
We're constantly attaching value
to just arrangements of atoms, right?
And I'm not saying that there is.
Or ones and zeros.
I mean first of all, we can't help it.
We're programmed to do this, right?
Our bodies are designed to work in a particular environment,
an environment that we're actually not in right now,
an environment that we used to be in.
You know, we're stone age hardware
running modern day software.
And we can't help but attach value to things
because there's an adaptive advantage
to attaching value to things,
things that are significant to us.
But I think one of our challenges is not to say,
okay, you should think that your ring is,
you should just take a picture of your ring and flush it down the toilet. I'm not saying, you should think that your ring is, you should just take a picture of your ring
and flush it down the toilet.
I'm not saying that you should do that.
But wouldn't it be a healthier place mentally
and emotionally if you could do that
without any real regret?
And you may say that's not a life worth living
and I do, but you'll never get to that point
because you're a human and you can't just deny your humanity.
But what steps can we take?
And your ring is a bad example
because that ring is not a vice.
It's a beautiful memory of your grandfather
and a beautiful symbol of your love for your wife.
And so there's a lot of,
it symbolizes things that have meaning
way beyond the metal, right?
But we attach value and significance
to a lot of things that don't matter
and actually don't symbolize things
that have any real meaning.
I know, I think you're just,
you're construing possessions with,
and like knickknacks with keepsakes.
But the thing that makes that value is the story
that you've attached to it.
Yeah but it was there man.
It was just like you know if I reach under this table
and pull out Abraham Lincoln's top hat,
like that would be a magical moment.
Don't get me wrong.
I would.
Be like you know what I just.
It would mean so much.
Yeah it would mean so much to me
if you had Abraham Lincoln's top hat.
I would think it was super cool.
I'm just saying that whereas it can be a super cool thing,
there's probably a lot of.
Like the actual, I mean, they keep the Constitution
under, they suck it down in a vault every night
and then they pick it up in the elevator
so people can come gawk at it under close supervision
because it's like, it was there, man.
Well, and if we didn't have the ability,
again, because this is the thing that, interestingly,
you know, an animal, an animal other than the human animal
doesn't have the capacity to attach sentimental value
to things to the degree that we do, right?
I mean, obviously, Coco, the sign language gorilla,
I'm sure that she, in fact, I think she had some possessions
that meant a lot to her.
I'm not saying that they don't have the capacity,
but not nearly the capacity that we do.
And then you talk about robots,
and when are they gonna become indiscernible from us,
and are they gonna have the ability,
like that's one of the things we do,
we're just constantly attaching value
and we're going to attach value to the robots
because we're gonna tell ourselves a story about them
and once we have the story straight,
that robot is gonna be just as significant as a person.
And we're gonna be like, this is my best friend,
yeah he's a robot, but who cares?
But is that robot gonna feel the same way?
Are we gonna have to program that robot
with the capacity to tell itself lies
and tell itself stories about things
in order for there to be significance in its life?
Oh, that's the question, Link.
That's the question tonight.
Maybe.
I just, I think it's,
I think it's undeniably healthy to have a few
real things in like the real hard world
that you can touch and feel and
taste if you need to
in order to maintain a connection with something meaningful. But don't take it too far and then if you lose it,
just move on, it'll come back in a box on your deathbed.
And shouldn't you throw that, as soon as you have
the technology to throw that wedding as soon as you have the technology
to throw that wedding ring into a 3D copier,
should you do it? Nope.
Because the one thing that's valuable about it
is the one part that can't be,
it can't be conveyed.
It's that this one, this particular thing
was wrapped around his finger
and now it's wrapped around my finger.
So if.
And a replica of it would be a replica.
Okay.
I mean you buy those, you buy replicas
in the museum gift shop.
So what if somebody took me,
no, what if somebody took one of your children
and put them in a.
It's the first thing a person in a gift keeps.
And put them in a 3D copier
and made a perfect copy of your child?
Everything was intact, memories, everything,
exactly the same, and then they killed the original child.
Would you, what kind of value would you associate?
Would you say, oh, I can't love this new child,
even though it would be like Lando saying,
Daddy, it's just me, Lando.
God, listen, I mean, at least make it about dogs, man.
That's horrifying.
Okay, but it's a legitimate question, man.
Okay, Jade.
Jade, and I'm not talking about a clone,
because a clone is a separate being.
I'm saying legitimately like a copy.
Like there's some technology that organizes all the matter
in exactly the same way and then kills the existing thing.
And like, I mean, what kind of value,
would you be like, yeah, that's Jade too.
It's just a, yeah, I could conduct a relationship
and ultimately for the most part,
it would be the same moving forward
but it doesn't have the same,
it's just a keepsake and a relationship
are just different things, apples and oranges.
I think it's just a, you know.
But you have relationships with keepsakes.
They represent, no you don't.
It's not a relationship, it's a. But it's all about the story They represent, no you don't.
It's not a relationship, it's a.
But it's all about the story that you're telling yourself.
It's a tangible nostalgia.
I'm gonna steal your ring.
And you're gonna think you lost it.
And then at the end of your life,
I'm gonna give you a box and the only thing
that's gonna be in there is that wedding ring.
Okay.
And I'll say, you remember that question
that that dude asked us that one time on Ear Biscuits?
That's why I did this, it was a big experiment
to teach you a lesson and then to give you
a special present at the end of your life.
Well listen, I'll commit to thinking about it some
but let me sleep on it, I'm kinda sleepy at this point.
I'm resorting to saying, hey, can we end this podcast?
I'm kinda sleepy. I'm sleepy.
I just don't.
But I'll twinkle with my ring and I'll think about it.
Okay.
And you know what?
You think about it too. let us know what you think.
We'll speak at you this time next week.
Is that a deal? Thank you.