Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 184: What Happens When Friends Go On Opposite Vacations? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 184
Episode Date: March 11, 2019Between a near-death experience on a snowy mountain in Mammoth and some warm beachside relaxation in Cabo, R&L's vacations couldn't be any more different. Relive it with them as they look back on thei...r fire and ice getaways on this week's Ear Biscuits! Sponsored by: Quip: Go to GET QUIP.com/EAR get your first refill pack for FREE with a quip electric toothbrush.Stitch Fix: Get started NOW at StitchFix.com/EAR and you’ll get an extra 25% off when you keep all 5 items in your box! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This, this, this, this is Mythical.
Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of not quite as dim
as it used to be lighting,
Ooh.
We're going to be exploring the question,
what happens when two friends go on opposite vacations?
Opposite vacations, well I'll come back to that
but yeah we brighten it up a little bit.
I mean.
Not too much.
Can you go too dim?
I think we did for quite a while.
I just got tired of looking at, you know,
because I listen back and I watch back.
Yeah, we gotta get those views.
You subscribed?
Yeah.
YouTube.com slash Ear Biscuits
if you wanna watch us talk.
And I just was like, I just think it's too dim.
Yeah.
Just too dim.
Maybe that's the problem.
Maybe that's our problem, just too dim.
There is no problem, we don't have a problem.
Well, you're not gonna tell them what really happened?
What really happened?
Yeah, keep going, I'm very happy with what you've done with the lighting, thank you. The lighting adjusted a little bit you're watching in droves. You're not gonna tell them what really happened? What really happened? Yeah.
Keep going, I'm very happy with what you've done
with the lighting, thank you.
The lighting adjusted a little bit
and it's brighter and we like it.
So the question.
Hope you do.
Is what happens with two friends
going opposite vacations, one to the icy heights
of a mountain and the other to the fiery depths of hell.
That's right, I took my wife on a pre-Valentine vacation,
I know Valentine's long gone by now,
to hell to visit Satan himself.
Vacation to hell.
No, no, we went to the luxurious Cabo San Lucas
in Mexico.
Mexico, I love it, I love it down there.
Beautiful place. It's warm.
There's no snow, man.
It was the opposite of what you did.
Now I. And that wasn't,
I mean people asked if that was intentional.
You know what. A little fire and ice.
I almost posted on, I saw what you posted on Instagram
where you lying down in the sand.
Oh shout out to Link Lamont on Instagram.
You almost forgot your Instagram handle.
I wouldn't know, I was waiting for you to take over.
Oh I'm not gonna shout you out,
I'll shout me out, you shout you out.
It's a beautiful arrangement.
I was going to do a post like yours
but lying in the sand, I mean in the snow, but it was like,
who am I gonna get to take this?
Yeah.
I was kinda out there and I'm gonna get my phone to Shepherd?
That's not gonna work.
So I just took a picture of my face.
Probably got more likes anyway.
That's not what it's about for me, man.
It's about my personal, let's not get back into that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't go there.
But yeah, we're like fire and ice vacations,
which reminds me of fire and ice,
the basketball players from North Carolina State University.
Chris Corchiani and Rodney Monroe.
Monroe.
Rodney Monroe, so who's Chris Corchiani and who's Rodney Monroe. Monroe. Rodney Monroe, so who's Chris Corchiani
and who's Rodney Monroe?
Chris Corchiani was the point guard,
he was the dribbler and the passer.
Rodney Monroe was the two guard,
always shooting the shots.
But who do you think?
You know who was fire and ice.
Are you asking me or are you asking?
Of us, man, which one of us is,
I know Chris Corchiani was the point guard
and Rodney Monroe was the two guard.
But which one's fire and ice? Oh, that is a good is, I know Chris Corchiani was the point guard and Ronnie Monroe was the two guard. But which one's fire and ice?
Oh, that is a good question.
I know.
I think, well, when you're on fire, you're making baskets
and when you ice, you're like, you're cool under pressure.
So one of them was making lots of baskets
and the other one, I think Chris Corchiani was ice
because he was cool.
No, no man, Chris Corchiani was ice, because he was cool. No, no man.
Chris Corchiani was fire because he was like,
super intense and like crazy.
Running around like crazy with a bowl cup.
Rodney was cool as ice and smooth, super smooth.
And this was like the early 90s.
This was the late 80s.
Really?
I think, pretty sure.
Yeah. But who of us is the fire and who's the ice? I think, pretty sure. Yeah.
But who of us is the fire and who's the ice?
I'm the fire down in Cabo.
I'm like Chris Corchiani running around on the beaches.
You're like ice up there freezing,
you took us off trying to ski.
I'll take that, I'll take ice.
Rodney Monroe had a,
A line.
Close cropped haircut with one line carved in it
and it was in the middle I believe.
I think it moved from time to time.
It depended on his mood.
It's kinda like the Eichel glaciers.
Yeah.
Kinda slowly shifting.
Chris Corgiani became a real estate agent in Raleigh
and his son played for state but did not get a lot of PT.
played for State but did not get a lot of PT.
I think it was what they call a legacy spot on the team. Okay.
But we're talking about it and everybody's riveted.
Guys, we don't have any idea
what you're talking about right now.
Before we get into our vacation.
Fire a dice, man.
You know, as is the Ear Biscuit practice
to bring each other fully up to speed on what happened
because we kept it from each other
in order to share it with each other and you
at the same time, may I give a blow dryer
relationship update because in a recent
Ear Biscuit conversation, I was talking about blow drying
my body with my hair dryer when I get out of the shower
and you said, you've talked about that before.
You're always talking about it and that's right.
I got an update.
Matter of fact.
Okay, keep talking about it then.
I got a PSA, a public service announcement
that I discovered this morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you like me, take a shower,
exit the shower and then go straight to your hairdryer,
blow dryer, whatever you wanna call it,
turn that thing on to give yourself a nice,
crisp and warm dry feeling, not only on your hair,
not only on your armpits, but also in your crotch area,
like I unapologetically do, with no judgment
from my tall friend with a furrowed eyebrows,
then I've got news for you.
Take your old toothbrush like I did this morning.
I don't know what you think I'm about to say
but it's not that bad.
Okay.
Take the back off of your blow dryer
and brush the back of your blow dryer
because that vent where it sucks in all the air
is getting clogged up with dust and whatnot.
I looked at the back of my hair dryer
and that thing, I was like, it looks dusty in there.
I gotta get a toothbrush to get it out.
And I thought about filming this for my Instagram.
I should have done it.
It was so satisfying to brush out all of this.
You took, you unscrewed the back?
There was like a, there was a superficial filter,
like a netting thing on the outside
and then there was another filter hidden inside of there
and it was easily, turn a little bit and pull it off
and whoo, there it is.
And I toothbrushed out all of this lint.
I'm like man, this is satisfying.
I should have Instagrammed it.
Now we're back to where I was in this story.
Then I'm like, I put the cap back on.
No exaggeration, three times the blowing power.
You were really clogged up.
Like, I mean.
How old is this, how long you had this dryer?
You share, you have your own dryer
and your wife has a different one?
When you both share it.
Christy came in right after I'd finished
and still naked but totally dry everywhere.
She couldn't find a wet spot on me.
I could've rolled around in flour
and nothing would've stuck.
Well.
She said, she didn't say anything in fact,
I said, Christy, and I pulled out my toothbrush
that had all this linen on it, I'm like,
you can use my toothbrush to clean out your hair dryer.
She's like, I used that one.
I'm like, whew, you used this one?
Well, I got news for you.
You're about to get three times the blowing power.
You thought she had her own hairdryer?
I thought she did, yeah.
Wow, you guys need to talk more.
It was in the middle drawer,
but I thought she had one over there
and I thought it was exclusively mine.
I didn't realize I was doing her a big favor.
And I was disappointed when she wasn't as excited as I was,
but she didn't turn it on.
Tomorrow morning, she's gonna turn that thing on.
Whoa, it's gonna blow her away. it's gonna blow her across the room.
She's gonna hit the back wall.
Maybe you need like a.
It was amazing.
An air filter in your bathroom
if you've got that much dust.
That's a good point.
Because the only thing that's filtering right now
is the hair dryer as it's occasionally used.
Oh no, I don't use it occasionally.
It's like the lung of your bathroom.
I use it constantly.
That's right.
Hold on, are you, I know you squeegee off.
I towel off.
You towel off and then you blow dry.
All right guys, he's engaged.
He's engaged in this conversation.
Yeah, I fully, I squeegee with my hands.
I fully dry off with the towel.
You don't fully cover the body.
You go head, underarms and crotch?
I towel off every square inch of my body.
But with a blow dryer.
But yeah.
You don't go up and down your legs with a blow dryer.
No.
Only the hairiest areas need to be blow dried.
Okay.
Do you blow dry your hair completely in that moment?
Yeah.
So you get your hair completely dry before you style it?
Now that my hair's a little longer, it helps.
I use less pomade that way.
You know that I recently, not recently,
but like in the past,
Mythical pomade I might add.
Year and a half to two years,
basically all my adult life I had blow dried my hair
as I was, I mean ever since the hair's gone up,
which is for a decade or whatever.
Uh-huh.
I blow dried or is it blue dried?
Blue dried.
What verb do you conjugate in blow dry?
Blow dried?
Blown dried, yeah.
I've blown dried my hair for a decade
and then I decided to stop doing that
and instead I towel dry the hair just a little bit
and then I put the pomade, I put the Mythical Pomade
in my hair while it is wet
and let it air dry.
I've been there.
And that creates more activity in my hair,
you know, more interest, more of a wave.
But then I have to sometimes even pay more attention
to my hair after I get to work,
because it's like, it's dry and then I gotta fiddle
with it again and that's kind of a pain.
If you want height, you want your hair to be drier
when you apply product.
I'm not saying fully dry.
But if you want interest and activity.
Yeah you might wanna stay, you might wanna.
Stay away from the blow dryer.
I haven't touched a blow dryer in years.
I'll give you all the lint.
18 months actually.
From my blow dryer, you can deposit it in the back of your blow dryer
and then use it.
Well I got it.
And it will be so inadequate.
My wife got the Dyson that I don't even know
where the filter is.
In fact it seems like.
A $5,000 blow dryer.
It seems like magic.
It's just a circle.
It's the same thing that Ana uses here.
I'm kinda jealous.
You should get one of those.
It's not $5,000 but it is, that is the most expensive.
It is an expensive hair dryer.
I've been thinking about getting one because.
You can't put a toothbrush in it, I'll tell you that much.
Don't try that.
So listen.
Well we can keep talking about this forever.
Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let me know how much better
your life is now that your hair dryer has been brushed.
And we are gonna talk about our fire and ice vacations
but first we wanna let you know that Ear Biscuits
is supported by Quip.
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every day, and we, I mean humans, is brush our teeth,
yet most of us don't do it properly,
and Quip is an electric toothbrush designed to make
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and proper, just like Hammer would say.
By us, did you also mean humans?
I mean all humans.
Okay, I thought you were talking about me and you, man.
I thought it was like a moment.
I thought it was just us.
But it's all humans, okay.
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I love actually putting the cover,
putting the toothbrush in the cover
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Just the process of that?
Yeah, it's got a satisfying snap to it.
Just like a sausage, a good sausage.
Yeah.
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Yeah, if you're thumbing through the phone book.
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Little bit of tongue twister and I may have not said it
completely right but I think you got it.
Now back to the biscuit.
So how do we wanna do this?
I mean I could talk more about hair dryers.
I had an idea for a hair dryer that's exclusively for men.
I know that sounds sexist but that's what,
marketing is just hoodoo.
Hoodoo.
Like BS.
Like a man and a woman's hair dryer need not be different.
I mean my wife and I, not to my knowledge,
but in fact trueness, do use the same hair dryer.
But.
Men and women can use the same hair dryer,
but I do think.
But if you convince men and women
that they need to have different hair dryers.
Right.
Like they've convinced women
that they have to have a different razor.
They've done that. They convinced them. They did it. They've convinced women that they have to have a different razor. They've done that, they convinced them, they did it.
They've convinced men that they have to have
different hair dye.
Right, oh yeah.
Just for men, not for women.
Your hair is different.
Right.
It's unnaturally dark for way too long and you need
to get a crib.
Yeah, I mean they've done that very successfully.
Right, we can do that with a hair dryer.
Right. It's called the bro dryer.
They've convinced women that they have to have a razor.
Did you hear that?
The bro dryer.
That's good.
Well I don't, I just made that up.
I think it's great marketing.
I don't wanna feed into it though.
Yeah.
I don't wanna feed into making men and women think
that they have to have different products
to serve the same purpose.
Oh women don't need.
He's got a pair of testicles hanging from it.
He's got a beard hanging from it.
A bulbous pink thing that looks like an alien
remote control in order to shave their legs.
They don't need that.
That's right, that's right.
But men needed their own blow dryer.
I do like that blow dryer idea.
Gets the job done.
The blow dryer gets the job done.
That's the slogan.
Yeah, you know, come to think of it,
I did just on Instagram buy a shaver.
What?
That was, that is intended for manscaping.
Okay, only, not womanscaping.
You can't scape a woman with it.
But it's like, you don't need that.
I loved watching you decide if you were gonna share this,
that you had fallen for your own tricks.
And then there's a, they sent me these wipes.
Men wipes?
And it said ball wipes on them.
Oh gosh, seriously?
Yeah, I was like, I need to wipe my balls.
I don't really, what?
Yeah, I haven't opened them.
Can I borrow a few?
Okay, we gotta test that out.
Let's talk about this, bro.
So you went to Mammoth.
I went to Mammoth Mountain.
We teased all this, I mean, so, in the last episode.
So we probably knew you went to Mammoth. So We teased all this, I mean, so in the last episode. We probably knew you went to Mammoth.
So I'll just get right to it.
Fire and ice, it's never been more fitting
because speaking of ice, I know I think I said this
in a tweet or an Instagram or something, I don't know.
It's never as fresh as it's about to be.
Between the week, so the weekend before I got to Mammoth
to ski, they received 11 feet of snow.
They received it.
They received it.
Now 11 feet is a crap ton of snow.
That's an unbelievable amount of snow.
I mean, we're talking like basketball backboard height.
Like halfway up the backboard.
Now, the weekend I was there.
Like Rodney Monroe would have trouble with that.
They received another four feet of snow.
So by the time all was said and done, 15 feet of snow.
Wow.
And I was.
Well at least it's good to know
that global warming isn't a thing.
You know, forget about climate change.
I see where you're going with that, Link.
Mm-hmm.
Link's being sarcastic.
Link understands the difference between climate and weather
unlike some people who tweet quite a bit about that.
I'm pushing Rhett's button right now.
So I was nervous about the trip because
we had to leave for London,
which we'll talk about next week.
Teaser.
We had to leave for London the day after I got back,
like the morning after I got back.
Yeah.
If you get back, I mean with after I got back. Yeah. And.
If you get back, I mean with 12, 11 feet of snow.
Well and I knew this other storm was coming in
and I was just like, I've heard,
and then I was talking to someone,
I don't know who, I can't remember who it was.
But they were like, last time I went to Mammoth,
I got snowed in, in fact, last couple of times
I went to Mammoth, I've gotten snowed in
and I was like, oh, I can't miss, I can't not go to London.
And so I'm beginning to worry and I wanna be very prepared.
Now I know that once you go up into the mountains
a lot of times, chains will be required for your tires.
Now in previous trips to Mammoth and Big Bear,
we've had to have chains for the tires in the car.
Like carrying chains is required in the winter
if you're gonna go to these mountainous regions, right?
And I'm assuming that applies to lots of places
around the country, around the world.
Yeah.
But I've never had to apply them.
And this is one of those moments
where it's like dad mode engaged.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
And I'm like okay, it is possible that I go up there
and I get to a spot in the road and they've got a sign
that says chains required and at that point,
I gotta put the chains on the tires.
And so I feel like I gotta practice.
Okay, so you bought the chains.
Well, so turns out that the chains that I had
weren't quite the right size.
I put them on two nights before.
For your previous car, you owned them
or you ordered the wrong ones?
I think that Jessie had gone to.
Throwing Jessie under the bus.
No, no, she went and told them what kind of car we had
and then they gave us the chains at like a,
you know, an AutoZone or something like that
and they just gave us the wrong ones.
So it was an AutoZone, I don't know what it was.
I don't wanna throw any particular chain under the bus.
Ha ha ha, chain!
But the, get it?
But it was, I don't think she said,
this is exactly the size of tire. So it probably But it was, I don't think she said, this is exactly the size of tire.
So it probably would have worked.
But then when I called my local place,
after I put these ones on.
You were in your driveway, you were like at home
putting on the chains, practicing.
And they were too big?
They were a little bit too big.
How would you, would you have known?
No, I wouldn't have known if they were too big.
How would you have guessed that the chains
go onto your tires?
You lay it out, you drive on it.
Exactly.
And then you pick it up like a diaper on a baby
and you link it on the other side.
Not how it happens.
That's what I thought it would have been too.
Okay.
You do not, you do not drive onto it.
You take it, at least the ones that I got,
the car is stationary and you drape the chain
over the tire.
Okay.
And then you reach around the bottom,
fasten, and then you come around the top,
around the front and fasten.
And then there's like a tensioner that tightens it
and then they give you this extra thing
that's like a bungee cord with hooks on it
and it grabs the ring that's on this side
of the outside of the tire and kind of tightens
everything down.
It's actually, and I'm sure there's other ones
that go on differently but it's remarkably easy.
I got the kind that.
But you could tell that it was too big.
Yeah but then I went and got the right ones
and practiced again and I was like,
I think I can do this.
Oh wow, so that was the time that you spent
that you could have been putting on my carrier
that you refused and I'm still kinda sour about.
I'm glad I didn't take their carrier
because the place I stayed, the clearance for parking
was six foot eight and my car would have been too tall
with a carrier.
Okay well that's good for both of us. I would have just taken your carrier and I would have just too tall with the carrier. Okay, well that's good for both of us.
I would have just taken your carrier
and I would have just set it in the snow somewhere
and it would have gotten four feet on top of it
and it would still be in Mammoth under snow.
So you're welcome for not taking your carrier.
I get up to Mammoth and I start to see lots of snow.
Like it went from no snow, like I don't know if you've ever.
I can't imagine 11 feet of snow.
Have you ever driven up, you've never driven up there?
No, never been up there.
So you drive through this thing called the Owens Valley
which is, there's all this history of the Owens Valley
and how there was this giant lake up there
and then Mulholland who Mulholland Drive is named after
and lots of things in LA are named after.
So this guy.
Owen Wilson's hanging out up there, Terrell Owens.
This guy owned or worked for the LADWP,
Department of Water and Power,
and then he bought a bunch of land,
all the privately available land in this valley,
and that gave him the water rights to this giant lake
that they basically drained,
and this is where LA got a bunch of its water from
and now all this water that comes into this valley
is pumped to Los Angeles.
It's quite interesting if you're interested
in the history of the water of Los Angeles.
That's another podcast.
But anyway, the trip up there is just this desolate
nothingness with a couple of towns that you come to.
Like there'd be a town and it'll be like 50 miles
and nothing except just these mountain ranges on each side.
We went through.
But beautiful.
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
You know Lone Pine?
You probably heard of this town.
There's been like 100 movies shot in Lone Pine
including Django Unchained and a bunch of other ones
that you've heard of.
And the mountains right outside of Lone Pine, I kinda looked at them
and I was like that looks like the Himalayas.
Like the way that it was these rocky mountains,
just straight rocks with snow on them
and then I started reading about it on my phone
once I was up at Mammoth and they were like,
often filmmakers use the mountains outside of Lone Pine
to pass for the Himalayas in low budget movies.
It's like, ha!
Didn't you feel validated?
That's right, buddy.
You felt low budget validated.
Anyway, we get very close to Mammoth and I see the sign,
chains required and my heart rate goes up a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, this is the moment of truth.
I've gotta pull off to the side of the road.
Keep in mind that not only are they getting snow,
but it's seven degrees.
Ooh.
Was it snowing at Des Moines at that time?
It was just a teeny bit of snow was starting.
Was there snow on the street?
No snow on the ground.
First of all, I wasn't all the way to Mammoth,
and so the machines they have that get the snow off of the road,
it's absolutely amazing how efficient they are
at getting mounds and mounds of snow off of the road,
and then of course because they sought the road,
there was nothing on the road.
It was completely dry,
but it was like preemptively putting on chains.
Okay.
Some people weren't stopping, some people,
I found out later why, some people were continuing to go,
but I pull over. I was so prepared, I had a headlamp.
Was it night?
It was already dark.
Or you just wanted to wear a headlamp
because you had it.
I had a headlamp, I had another little light
that I put under the car, I had a tarp or a tarpulin
is the full name for that.
Like a tarp-oleon.
Yeah and so you get down on the ground.
You laid out a blanket for yourself?
I dadded so hard on my tarp.
Look kids, take a picture of me laying out on a tarp.
And there's people going.
Get my headlamp.
Going past me, you know?
And I'm out there on the tarp and reaching around
and clamping it down and hoping that I'm not endangering the lives
of my children and wife.
Yeah, that guy doesn't use a bro dryer.
I eventually got it on there.
Sticks his head out the window of his Harley.
And then I get back into the car
and I start driving down the dry pavement
with the chains on the tires.
That can't be good for anything.
And then I'm like, where's the snow?
I don't feel right about this.
I'm like, Jesse, Google how fast, I was going like 40.
I was like, Google how fast you should go
with chains on your tires on dry pavement.
Because what did it feel like?
It was crazy, but when you get to a certain speed,
it kind of just all blends together
and it just kind of becomes this low hum.
I mean just literally your rubber tires
are wrapped in chains, it's crazy.
Anyway, 20 to 30.
30 miles per hour.
And so I slowed it down.
It took like 45 minutes to go the last like 10 miles
and eventually once we got to Mammoth,
there's still no snow, like very little snow,
there was a couple of icy patches or whatever
but chains were still required.
But once you got into town, that was when they had taken,
it was like driving through a corn maze
but the corn was snow.
So like you can't see anything except these huge snow banks.
Like shops?
Everywhere, like I don't know how they so quickly
got access to everything, like every parking lot,
and every restaurant, and every shop was completely cleared
but they had just moved all the snow,
and snow obviously compacts a whole lot,
like if you've got 11 feet of snow, 15 feet of snow,
that's just fallen fresh, you can squish all that down
into, I don't know,
a couple of feet.
But they probably had salted it so the stuff melted.
It wasn't like they had to push it.
The road was still dry but you were driving
through this corn maze of snow.
Corn maze, did you take photos of this?
I don't know.
Now, was anybody else driving with chains?
Yeah, once I got into town, everybody had them on.
Everybody.
Because it was.
You were validated.
It was required.
Because you were thinking maybe I should pull over
and take them back off,
but that would be admitting defeat.
Yeah, but it was just one of those moments
where I was just like.
Dads don't do dat.
I could have paid, in fact, there were dudes out there.
Dad don't defeat.
Charging $40 to put the chains on for you.
Just to put them on.
They didn't have chains, they just had the service.
That's tarponium probably.
Yeah and they were like dressed like firemen
which I found interesting and ironic
considering you were on a fire vacation.
All right so we.
All right so we got you to Mammoth, let's get me to Cabo.
Now I went to a place that I've been three years earlier.
Christian and I went to this place. I'll been three years earlier. Christian and I went to this place.
I'll give a shout out to the Cape.
I really enjoy it.
This is a nice spot.
I've been there once.
Not a sponsor.
I recommended it to you and you went.
Yeah.
And then I decided I was gonna go back and I did.
Of course when you went back a few months back,
you didn't go back to the same place.
You went to a different place.
Nothing against the cape.
Nothing against the cape but for me,
it's like I knew what I was gonna get
and I wanted more of it.
I'm always up for a new thing.
I just wanted to try something new.
Yeah, sometimes I want the same thing.
And if I hadn't tried something new,
I wouldn't have gotten Gary to take that freaking picture
of me in my watermelon outfit.
Which brought me back to Instagram.
So again, you should be happy.
I'm not faulting you, I'm just saying,
there's a little different psychology here
between the two of us.
First of all, it was a shorter,
it was just a longer weekend, so a shorter vacation.
It wasn't like a whole week, so I just wanted to have
this relaxing poolside place that I was gonna go to, you know, and I could count on it.
Because I only had a couple of days to make the most of it.
It started out much better,
because the previous time that we went,
we were flying down there, and we were getting on the plane
and the first class was already on,
and we had some friends, I'll call them acquaintances,
well, let's call them friends,
people who knew us, you know, was like hey, recognize us
and then we went back and once we got in the air,
they sent back some champagne to us.
The flight attendant came up and said,
this is from your friends in first class
and they gave us champagne or mimosas or something.
Who was it, what friends?
It was,
Ran and you know it was them.
Oh. So anyway, we drink the champagne
and I think there was a weird interaction.
I don't know for sure but I think that Christy
had taken an anxiety medication
because she has problems with flying.
Yes.
And then we, by the time we got off the plane,
she's not feeling great.
And then we had to take this taxi,
it's like a 25 minute drive.
So we're like taking a taxi to the place and like,
she's not looking like she feels great.
This vacation's not starting great.
Fire vacation. Fire vacation.
Fire alarm.
And literally, when we pulled up to the place
and they opened the door and they're like,
hello, welcome to the resort,
like grand entrance type welcome situation
and it's a beautiful place.
Right when you walk up to check in,
you're looking out over the beach and it's amazing and as I'm walking up,
Christy's like I've got to find a bathroom
and like she bolts past me and like I'm taking in
this wonderful view and I just have this image
of Christy just like sprinting past me,
sprinting past the reception area.
Turns out she asked them where's the nearest restroom but she was so far ahead past me, sprinting past the reception area. Turns out she asked them where's the nearest restroom
but she was so far ahead of me,
it just looked like she didn't even stop.
Just disappears.
She eventually comes out and tells me she found a bathroom.
She was like throwing up in the bathroom and stuff
and then she had to go up to the,
right when we checked into the room,
she had to lay down for two hours.
It was a horrible beginning to that vacation.
After that, everything got a lot better for her.
Well, that's one way to see it.
You start that low, you're gonna have a good time.
Maybe I threw her under the bus
with this whole medication champagne thing,
but that's what happened.
So this time, we didn't make any of those mistakes.
We get there and everything was good.
So we got there all in one piece.
And I mean, the theme of my vacation was
I don't wanna see no mountains, I don't wanna see no snow,
I don't wanna do anything active like skiing.
I wanted to do the opposite of you.
I wanted to lay flat on the sand,
take one picture for Instagram, and I wanna lay flat on the sand, take one picture for Instagram,
and I wanted to lay flat on a lounger,
drink some drinks, read some books,
be with my lovely wife, and that's it.
And mission accomplished, man.
It was great.
Especially because it didn't start off
with her sprinting past me.
There was no sprinting to any restrooms.
So that's now my measurement of success.
For you it's did I actually need the chains?
Did you have a photo shoot?
No photo shoot.
Didn't need it.
Again, I got my picture.
I got my picture, I splayed out.
Well my vacation was definitely very active
and my intention in going on this trip
was this is family practice for our spring break vacation
which is also skiing, a week of skiing.
You're really doubling down on skiing.
Like this is, this is.
Well, this is the year of just,
this is the year of trying it.
Now, I talked about this when we did our top moments
of 2018 and remember skiing as a family was one
of my top 10.
And so I really wanna enjoy that week.
And there's a little bit of a dad kind of making everybody
do this element to the skiing thing.
Because Jessie, she can ski, but she got hurt last time
she went and she's just like, I'm just gonna go
and I'm gonna read.
And that's what she's gonna do when we go to spring break.
She's actually looking forward to just relaxing.
Lodging it up.
Yeah, and so, but I was like okay so this is me,
basically about me kind of getting the kids
a little bit better so they can really enjoy
and also so they can, we can all kind of keep up
with each other so Shepard can keep up with me and Loc
and I'm no expert so I don't and I keep it pretty slow
but Loc sprained his ankle three days before we left.
Like bad enough that he couldn't ski?
Yeah, I mean it's still,
he wouldn't be able to ski right now.
It's good, he's gonna be well just when we're going
to Colorado and at that point, he may get re-injured.
Who knows, hopefully not.
Well was he like, were you there,
did he injure it in a game or something?
Yeah, a basketball practice.
It wasn't a game, basketball practice.
Was he like wallowing around on the ground?
I wasn't there.
I just knew that he thought he had broken it.
It was like a bad sprain, like one of those
that like stays with you for a while.
And sometimes bad sprains can be worse than breaks,
but it's not that bad, it's not like a high sprain,
I think it's a low sprain.
Did you ask him if he cried?
No, I think he said he wanted to.
He was like, it hurts so bad I wanted to cry.
Yeah.
But you know, McLaughlin's, we don't cry.
Oh gosh.
And we don't take the chains off once we put them on.
That's not healthy, man.
You need to pass along some.
Well, I think you should be able to cry.
I know you were joking.
I think you should be able to cry from feelings,
emotional feelings, but physical hurt,
I think you gotta keep the tears inside.
I think that's, especially at 14.
I'm a little.
You're almost a man.
Well I'm concerned about, okay so it's just you
and Shepard out there, but 11 feet of snow,
I know that that,
at a certain point, it gets a lot more difficult to ski.
Yeah yeah yeah, well it had gotten that.
And I recently.
Cause when we went, the first time,
the last time we went with our friend Eric,
I was still snowboarding and you were trying to ski.
You had switched over.
And we were currently, that's the story
where I lost my phone in the blizzard.
Oh yeah.
We probably have told that.
But it was very similar to that,
that skiing in powder, in fresh powder snow
is a completely different experience,
especially when you really,
I transitioned to skiing last year or two years ago,
so it's, yeah, it was very difficult
when I got into the, and I will tell you
exactly how difficult it was when I got into the, and I will tell you exactly how difficult it was
when I got to the top of the mountain.
But I recently upped the douche factor in my life.
You know, I'm always trying to do that a little bit.
I didn't know you had any more margin.
By getting my own custom fitting ski boots.
What?
This is, I mean, I'm getting into this at this point.
And you go and you rent, my feet are done growing, right?
You go and you rent. One's bigger than the other,
we talked about that. Right, and you go
and you rent, and you never know what you're gonna get,
and you never know what's gonna end up hurting
while you're out there, and everybody's like,
you gotta get the custom fitting boots,
and there's a custom insert, so I went to this place
in Studio City, I can't remember the name of it,
but I highly recommend the ski boot fitting place
in Studio City and the guy spends time with you
and you take your shoes off and he puts your foot
in this mold and he makes basically a custom insert
to go into this thing and picks the right boot for you
based on your foot shape.
Was it like a mold, like they poured something around your foot? No, they don't pour it, you on your foot shape. Was it like a mold, like they poured something
around your foot?
No, they don't pour it, you put your foot
into this like,
Slide.
Inflatable, almost like memory foam-ish type pad
and you press down and then this weird vacuuming thing
is taking place and then you bring your foot off of it
and your footprint is completely stuck. So it's really the bottom of your foot and then and then you bring your foot off of it and your footprint is completely stuck
so it's really the bottom of your foot and then with the
sides of your foot he gets it in a different way.
I don't know, it takes like an hour and a half.
It's pretty high tech stuff.
So did you experience the benefits of that?
Nirvana, skiing nirvana.
Foot nirvana.
Yes.
It was dramatically better?
When your foot is, the thing that most people
don't realize and I was one of these people
is that your ski boot should be much tighter
than you think it should be so that your foot is,
any movement inside the boot is being immediately
transferred into leverage, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Because if it's a little bit loose,
you move your leg and then you hit the side of the boot.
And so if you really want the response,
if you're just, if you're like a near expert
downhill skier like I am.
So it might be a little overkill
because I'm definitely not an expert, that was sarcasm.
I am a 100% of the time thinking don't get hurt,
don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt,
don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt.
Even while I'm having a great time.
I never lose the don't get hurt, don't get hurt.
And I've learned that I don't think that's what a lot
of the people going down the mountains are thinking about.
I think they're thinking about oh that looks cool, do that.
And I'm thinking don't get hurt.
That looks cool, do that.
looks cool, do that. And I'm thinking, don't get hurt.
That looks cool, do that.
But.
I was thinking, where did my menu go?
Like I was gonna order like some fish tacos
but I cannot find the menu, where's the waiter?
Oh there he is, oh and here's the menu.
It's like that was kind of the adversity that I faced.
Well I had.
Oh I had, I faced a little adversity. Okay well I had a. Oh, I had, I faced a little adversity.
Okay, well I had a moment of what I thought
was what could be near death.
So you want me to save that?
I'll save it after you.
I had a near death experience.
Okay.
I got a massage.
We always give our massage updates.
We probably talked about massages more than anything.
I'm blow dryers are starting to vie for that position,
for me at least.
These are the things you look forward to
as your body begins to age.
I told her that my hip flexors really messed up
ever since I kicked that soccer ball on Thanksgiving.
And I was like, go hard or go home, but don't go home.
So you know what that means.
And of course.
You told her to go hard.
And then I said, right here it's really hurting.
Like I was pointing where my hip flexor,
right where the top of my femur hits my thigh.
Or hits my thigh. Mm-hmm. Or hits my pelvis.
And I'll tell you right now, she was stretching me out.
Of course I was naked under the sheet,
so it's like she had this way to take the sheet,
and Christy was also in there with another masseuse.
It was like a couples massage thing.
But she would turn me over on my side
and pick my leg up and try to stretch it,
but she would have, she'd wrap the sheet
like I was wrapping a baby in a cloth diaper.
Like that's what she was doing to me.
Yeah.
But at certain points, my entire butt cheek was exposed
and my knee was being pushed up across my body.
That's the best part of the massage though.
It hurt really badly because of this injury I have
and I don't know that she made it better
because it's still hurting but,
well I'll put it to you this way.
You know how when you're grilling chickens
and if you like, if you've only cut the dark meat
separate from the white meat so you've got like a thigh
and a leg that's still together.
Yeah.
And then you wanna know if it's done
but if you're a little anxious to get it on the table
and everyone's eating because it's getting a little late
and everybody's hungry and you're like,
dad, where's the chicken?
You take it off a little early.
Never do that.
And then, so you don't get that,
when you grab the chicken leg,
you can break it from the thigh.
Got a little give.
And then you're sitting there grabbing the chicken leg, you can break it from the thigh. Got a little give. And then you're sitting there grabbing the chicken leg
and before you know it, you're like ham-fisted
grabbing the thigh with one hand and the chicken leg
with the other hand and you're just wrenching them apart
to try to pull apart and have a leg experience
separate from a thigh experience.
Gotta be careful with that though.
And you're just.
Sometimes you're pulling to get it apart.
Just trying to get the bone all the way out.
Right, you'll get the thigh bone out
of all the thigh meat stuck to the end of the drumstick.
Oh, I was thinking the opposite.
Sometimes you pull the drumstick right out of the thigh.
Either way is not good when the analogy is to my body.
I felt sure that was gonna happen.
I doubt that you could pull it out.
I mean it was, I was just having imagery
of that Mortal Kombat finishing move where like
the guy pulls the head and the spine out of the body.
It's like, she's gonna pull my leg.
Did you make any grunts or did you make any signals that
I was breathing so heavily that Christy told me afterward
that she almost asked me to be quiet.
Like not, she didn't ask me are you okay.
You were ruining her massage.
She wasn't gonna ask are you okay.
She was gonna ask can you be quiet.
She was like why were you breathing so loud?
I looked over at you and was like
did you see me in my diaper?
Because you were in pain.
I love the pain but I gotta go to physical therapy
for this thing.
It still hurts?
Yeah it still hurts.
So that's my near death experience, top that.
Okay so because it was snowing so much.
The next time you eat a chicken leg, think of me.
And because it was so windy,
the top of the mountain was closed
for a couple of reasons like Like, they're worried about visibility
and avalanches and wind gusts.
Like the wind gusts at the top of the mountain
were over 50 miles per hour.
And so they're very hesitant to open up the mountain.
But I'm with my friend Ralph who is from Switzerland.
Yeah, he's Swiss.
And so this guy, they come out of the womb with skis on.
You know what I'm saying?
They know how to point them.
Toes first.
And it's really difficult if you come out head first
and then you've got skis on.
Yeah.
You have to use the forceps.
It's very difficult.
But they come out of the womb
and they just go right down the mountain.
They learn to ski before they can walk.
Right.
So it's a little intimidating.
All pregnant women give birth at the top of slopes.
Right, well you're always on a slope.
And so the cheese is holy.
I was a little, I'm a little intimidated.
You know me.
Like if some.
Well I know you, you didn't say anything.
Right, so when Ralph's like,
oh they opened up, lift so and so.
And you're like.
And he knows the whole mountain.
Not saying anything out loud.
And he's like, you wanna go?
And I'm like, yeah.
You know, I'm not gonna say no.
Right.
Again, there's just something in me that I can't say no.
The chains are on the tires.
I can't say no.
You challenged me to do something,
I'm gonna get on the lift,
even though the whole time I'm thinking,
I'm not equipped, I'm not equipped for this.
Something in you.
I don't know what I will encounter at the top
because I don't know if you've established it,
not an expert, I don't handle
the double black diamonds very well.
Well going all the way to the top
gives you much more opportunity to constantly think,
don't hurt yourself, don't hurt yourself.
So first of all, let me just remind you how cold it was.
So we're talking about like minus 15, minus 20 wind chill
because you're getting to the top of the mountain
and you got these wind gusts and I had like fully prepared.
I mean I was like double thermals and I'm not talking
to like thermals, Walmart thermals, I'm talking about
like Patagonia expensive high tech thermals.
Stop bragging about all the equipment you've been buying.
No, I'm explaining how much, how warm I was.
It's the type that when you look at the liner,
it looks like aluminum foil.
The kind that have special loops for your thumbs
to keep it really tight on your wrist
and then I've got some high tech glove liners
underneath my gloves.
I have this crazy thing that's,
I have a helmet, of course, but underneath my helmet,
it's a ski mask that magnetically fastens over my face
like this, and has a little hole for your nose,
and then the only thing showing is your eyes,
because it goes up under your helmet,
and so there was literally no skin exposed.
No skin exposed whatsoever.
And I'm going up this lift, A, freaking out.
What is the logo for douche brand?
First of all, let me explain.
Every single person on the mountain looks like me.
So I wasn't standing out at all.
When it's this cold, if you don't have the proper equipment,
you're going to suffer greatly.
Because I was, I did have the right equipment
and I was already freezing.
With glove liners and gloves,
by the time I got to the top,
I couldn't feel my fingers.
Sounds like fun.
So we get off at the top and.
You hadn't even almost died yet.
It has picked, the wind has picked up,
the snow has picked up, I could see nothing.
Like it was just complete whiteout up there
and I'm like Ralph!
Well they don't let you back down like that.
Continue listening friend.
So we go down and there's this, I get up there
and at this point I'm like Ralph,
I don't know if I can do this.
He's like, ah, just come with me.
And we go down this little incline and then we get to
a place where we kinda have to make a decision
and we're not gonna go down the crazy, crazy,
it says experts only, he says I won't take you down that.
We go down, there's another option and I see people going, it hasn't been groomed.
And it's just like two or three feet of powder.
And people who look like they can ski and snowboard
are going off this thing and then immediately
just falling into the snow.
And like their skis are going, you know how it is.
When we were with Eric, your snowboard or your skis
get in the powder and then you've gotta have somebody
help you out.
Yeah.
And I was like, Ralph, if we go this way,
I'm gonna be turning, falling, turning, falling,
all the way down the mountain.
I was like, in an hour and a half,
I gotta get Shepard from his lesson
because he was doing a lesson that day.
I was like, honestly, I don't think it would be wise
and I don't wanna do this to you.
I want you to enjoy it.
So what I'm gonna do, I was like you go ahead,
I'm gonna go, first of all, it's like we're on,
what's the Tatooine?
I'm like yelling, I'm like I'm gonna go back!
Cause it's like the crazy wind and snow.
You're talking about Hoth.
Hoth, yeah.
I was on Tatooine.
Yeah, Tatooine, Hoth.
I had a drink in my hand.
And so I walk, I take my skis off
and begin walking back up to,
and of course I had skied down to this,
I'd probably skied 75 yards,
but it takes no time to do that.
Walking back up the hill,
my boots were going into the snow up to my knees.
Hold on, you were walking back to what?
Back to the lift to tell the lift operator
I wanna get on the lift and go down the lift
to get back down. Oh, good.
Good on you.
But I start walking back up the hill and I'm like,
I don't think I'm going to be able to get to the lift.
That's impossible.
Because the snow is so deep.
And then I start breathing so hard that I.
Like where was it up to, your knees?
Yeah, to my knees.
But I kept going. It took a very long time knees? Yeah to my knees. But I kept going.
It took a very long time to get back to the lift.
And I get to the lift, there's nobody there
but there's a little house with like someone in it
like either the operator or whatever.
Are you visibly crying at this point
because that would help.
I'm getting close but you can't even tell who I am
which at this point I'm very happy about.
Okay.
You can't identify me at all.
So I go up to and first of all there's so much snow that. You don't identify me at all. So I go up to, and first of all, there's so much to know.
You don't care about dying, you really care most
about not being identified while almost dying.
You can't even get into the thing,
so I'm like waving at this girl who is inside.
A cottage.
The cottage, and she comes out and she opens the door
and has this annoyed look on her face,
just right from the start.
And I'm like, yeah, I think maybe I've gotten in over my head.
Hey.
And I'm like, my friend taught me to come up here and I'm not sure I can get down.
I love it! I love it!
And she says, and I'm like, is there any way that I can get on the lift and go
back down? And she's like, no!
No. And then she slammed the cottage door.
And I'm like, but what do I do? And she's like, just go back the way you came.
And just stay straight.
Oh God.
Take it slow, you'll be fine. And now I'm like, Ralph is gone.
My buddy in the buddy system is gone.
And so now I'm gonna have to be getting assistance
from strangers and by the way, the wind has picked up.
She's like on the radio like saying,
we might have to shut it down.
Like there's not gonna be anybody to take me down.
Every time people are coming up,
they're falling off of the lift
because the thing is, the crazy wind is going.
So now I'm thinking, I'm gonna go down the mountain.
I'm already freezing.
I'm gonna get stuck.
I'm going to be a popsicle in the morning.
This is it.
Yeah, you're gonna be preserved.
I'm going to freeze on top of the mountain.
So I go back to where we had to make the decision
which way to go.
Did you say thanks?
I almost, at that point again,
I'm dealing with my pride the whole time.
Like I can't, I'm not, yeah.
But at that point when she's like, you can't do it,
you've got to go, I'm like well I guess I had to do it.
At that point there was no option.
So I go back and at this point I'm asking everyone to make sure that I, like well I guess I had to do it. At that point there was no option. So I go back and at this point I'm asking everyone
to make sure that I, like literally every person,
I'm like do you know the easiest way down?
Like I'm confirming like every seven feet,
is this the easiest way down?
And it turns out that the way Ralph went
was not the easiest way and I would've been in real trouble
if I had gone where he did. And it turned out that the way Ralph went was not the easiest way and I would've been in real trouble if I had gone where he did.
And it turned out that there was a slight,
the slight incline continued, again, I couldn't see.
Like you couldn't tell if you were about to go off the side,
it was like very, very unsettling.
And eventually I got to, through this whiteout area
and then got into a place where they had groomed the snow
way up the mountain, at that point I was able to get down.
I survived, man.
I don't, I'm proud of you for, you know,
for just, for saying you know what, I need help.
I can't do this.
Yeah.
But then I just, I don't feel great about what happened
because she kinda forced you to push through.
And I kinda feel like the best thing for you
would have been for her to say something like,
okay, we're gonna take you down, you're gonna be safe,
but we're gonna strip you nude.
And we're gonna put a banner on it that says, wuss.
And we're gonna kinda parade banner on it that says, wuss!
And we're gonna kind of parade you in front of everybody. Made it like a real painful emotional situation.
I feel like this became like a triumph,
that you survived, a survival tale.
I wouldn't call it a triumph.
If you had to see, if you had to witness it,
you would not have considered it a triumph.
Okay, so you did learn a lesson?
Yeah, I learned I'm not gonna listen to Ralph anymore
when he says to go up the freakin' lift in those conditions.
He's not your friend.
But ultimately, I had an incredible time.
The second day, when it let up a little bit,
Shepard was done with his lesson, me and him went out.
I got some of that on the Instagram story,
shout out Red MC.
We're gonna show that in the video version.
Got the good stuff.
But like, he's getting so much better
and he's like fearless and he's,
there was so much snow that there was literally,
like typically when you go to a California ski resort,
there's snow on the slope that you're on,
but then in the trees, there's not.
There was snow on every single square inch of the mountain.
You could go absolutely anywhere.
Wow.
We saw a dude as we were going up the gondola,
a guy who had gone down the side of the mountain at the top
and gotten stuck on the side of a cliff
and his snowboard was like on two peaks
and he was sitting there holding himself up
like at the top of a cliff.
And Ski Patrol was trying to get down there
and like lower something to him to bring him back up.
Like he had stopped inches short of going over a cliff?
Yeah like. And dying?
People were going everywhere because snow was everywhere
and at the top of this mountain, it's like,
well I'm talking like ski,
adventure ski YouTube compilation level mountain
at the top of this thing, it's ridiculous.
Crazy man.
But Shepard's like going into the trees and doing,
he's a nut.
Listen, it reminds me of the pool at this resort
I was at.
I mean it started really shallow, like getting up, oh it's just ankle deep.
And then all of a sudden I'm walking, I'm walking,
I'm like, this is like knee deep.
And then all of a sudden, whoa, boom.
Over your head.
There was a step.
Uh oh.
And it was like up to my belly button.
I've been in that pool.
And then I kept walking and walking
and then before I knew it, bam, I ran smack dab into a bar on the other side of the pool
that served drinks.
Oh really?
Extreme, man, extreme stuff.
Glad you made it out alive.
Yeah.
Did you get any help?
Well, he made the drink for me.
I didn't even have to do it.
And then after I drank the drink,
I had to walk all the way back. You couldn't carry the drink for me, I didn't even have to do it. And then after I drank the drink, I had to walk all the way back.
You couldn't carry the drink through the pool?
You couldn't swim with the drink?
I just elected to drink it all before I walked back.
The next night we went into town, well in the afternoon,
and there's this restaurant on the beach called,
it's highly recommended, called The Office.
A beautiful place, I mean there's all these seats
on the sand of the beach and then people are walking by
and you're like watching the sunset.
It's beautiful, I was like oh put us right here
on the edge of the beach.
That's in like downtown Cabo?
Yeah and a little bit off of it,
a little bit south of like the downtown area.
Ben recommended it because he went down there
a few weeks ago.
Because I would not recommend the restaurant
that I went to.
Yeah this one was good.
I'm not gonna tell you about it.
So I'm like oh put us right here down at the edge
of the beach like right the first table
because they didn't want to put us there.
And it turns out there was a reason
because once you sit down there it's like
I'm getting a margarita and Christy and I
are taking some pictures and lovey-dovey-ing on each other,
just having a great old time.
And I'm looking out at the view and then all of a sudden,
people start walking up.
Guys, women, kids, selling stuff.
Like blocking my view, like cramping my style.
And I'm talking cotton candy.
Yeah, I'm at a restaurant.
I'm at a restaurant and the dude had like cotton candy
and then there's people with like making bracelets
and a guy comes up and he looks at me and he says,
he gave two signals.
He said, do you want smoke or do you want blow?
And he did the thing with his mouth with the smoke
and then he did the thing with his nose with the blow.
And I'm like, I don't know exactly what you're referring to
but I think I do and no, we don't.
So I didn't get any of that.
I already have a blow dryer.
That's right, yeah.
And I don't smoke.
Not good for you.
Got both of those things covered.
But then somebody came up, this woman came up
and she had all of these, I thought they were banners
because they each said something different.
One of them, and then I'm like, these are wearable.
They're like sashes.
You can like buy a sash.
And one of them said butt stuff.
They said all types of stuff.
That's what one of them said.
And another one said bushy bitch.
Oh.
Almost bought that one.
Yeah. I thought that one. Yeah.
I thought that would be funny for my Instagram.
But then I'm like, I don't know what that means.
I looked on Urban Dictionary and bushy either means
stuck up or it could mean stupid.
And I didn't really believe that's what it said
and I wiped it out of my memory and I texted Christy
before we came in here.
I was like, what did the banner say?
She said, one of them said bushy bitch.
And I was like, are you sure that you're not reading?
Maybe something got lost in translation.
I mean, I can think of some other things it means.
But it's not the kind of thing you'd want a sash for.
They were all very irreverent type stuff
that for some reason people would be compelled to buy
down there in Cabo.
Like king of butt stuff?
I don't.
Do they give you a crown with it?
There's the king of butt stuff.
I wonder if he wants to blow.
It's an interesting place down there, man.
Yeah, it is.
I didn't, I didn't.
I just wanted him to move.
Yeah, I mean I'm eating.
I'm currently buying something, man.
Right.
I am in the process of buying something.
Sell me something else right now.
I would still recommend the restaurant
but I wouldn't recommend going all the way down to the beach
and then I remember Ben warned me about that
but I was so enamored by the beach that I forgot that.
Yeah.
Even they didn't wanna see me there.
And they know that.
Yeah.
They know that.
Yeah.
Bushy B.
I'll say one last thing about the trip to Mammoth
and that is we're trying to figure out
what to do in the evenings.
You know, the slopes close at like four or 430.
Sun goes down pretty early.
We would go out to eat right after that.
And you know, it's our two families kind of hanging out,
so like nine of us total.
May I recommend butt stuff?
You can recommend it, but I'm not gonna take
that recommendation.
I'm not trying to be weird, I don't even know
what that means, it's just on a banner in Cabo, man.
That's clear, that's clear.
So I was like, what are we gonna do,
and I think it may have been, oh, we were on,
we went on Netflix trying to figure out
what we're going to watch.
Now you got it.
And they're promoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail,
or it was like coming up and suggested,
based on whoever's profile it was that we were using,
which was the person
who had stayed there before us or maybe the owner,
I don't know.
Oh okay.
You know when you log in and you're like,
who's watching, Kurt, Susan, Bill?
None of the above.
But we'll pick Kurt.
Kurt with a K because that's risky.
We're gonna screw Kurt's watching history up.
But Ralph was like, let's watch Monty Python
in the Holy Grail with the kids
and see how the humor translates.
Yeah.
Which I thought was an excellent idea.
Yeah, you're talking British,
you're also talking like, this is 70s.
Yeah, 1974 I believe.
Yeah.
So teenage kids go upstairs immediately out.
Oh.
Little disappointed but,
so now we've got the younger kids.
Jesse's not in there?
Jesse.
Doing more reading?
Jesse and Heather are kinda half watching
but also like on the internet.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
And kinda doing that thing.
Yeah.
But Ralph and I and then Shepard and Ian
are all committed to Monty Python.
And I'm watching them watch it,
because I've seen this movie several times.
I'm reminded when I watch it just how,
A, how funny it is,
B, how it could never be made today.
It's irreverent. It's very irreverent, but politically incorrect. be how it could never be made today.
It's irreverent. It's very irreverent, but politically incorrect.
I've not watched it all in one sitting.
I've seen many scenes from it.
Well, the next night we watched Life of Brian,
which is significantly more irreverent
and politically incorrect.
It was made in 79, so you know,
I'm not sure when the other one was made,
but there's like three in that series, right?
But anyway, the kids were like looking at each other,
giggling, laughing, like all the talk about
the African swallow or the European swallow.
All these, first of all, you just remember
how many things
in comedy are kind of based on the way
that these guys thought.
Yeah.
And the way they presented things,
how many memes there are based on this
and just especially the Holy Grail is this
scene after scene that you could sort of see
the way that they thought about this.
Like we're gonna go and then there's gonna be
this interaction which is based on this that we think will be funny,
the knights who say neep or whatever.
Very simple devices that were just kind of running
to the ground in very satisfying ways.
The kids were completely into it the whole time
which was crazy to me.
But then we watched The Life of Brian the next night
and they had pushed things a little bit further
by the time Life of Brian came out.
And so sort of inadvertently showed our youngest kids
a naked woman on screen for the first time.
So gave them that experience.
Your Swiss friend I'm sure didn't care.
No, of course not.
In Switzerland.
Everybody's naked there so it wasn't a big deal. A lot of snow and a lot of nakedness, it doesn't add up.
But there's this moment where Brian's girlfriend,
not really a girlfriend, just sort of a hookup
is really how I would describe it, is naked.
And I saw it and I was like, you know, how do I react in this moment?
Because I could do the thing where I act like,
oh, shepherd, cover your eyes!
Which in my mind is communicating,
oh, there's a woman's body, you should be afraid of it!
So I was like, I'm not gonna do that,
this is, I'm not gonna overreact.
So I just kinda sat there and I just sorta looked at him.
You looked at him.
I just looked at him and he just had this smile on his face.
Like.
Like a guilty smile, like who?
Like I know I'm not supposed to see that.
And then it was over before he knew it
and the next day I asked him what he thought about it
and he was like, it was weird.
I was like okay.
The whole movie or that moment?
That moment.
Oh.
But anyway, they actually, if you're gonna watch
one of them with your small children,
I might recommend The Holy Grail instead of Life of Brian.
Life of Brian also is just a little more,
the jokes are not as simple, you know, it's a, it's a.
Well I don't know, cause I haven't seen all of it.
On a different level.
But it, you know, Shepard got Lando to watch a movie
that then we left your house so we couldn't finish watching
so yesterday morning, in order to get him to leave
without the movie being over, I told him
that I'd watch it with him and it was The Pink Panther.
Original.
No not the original, that was with Peter Sellers.
This was Pink Panther with Steve Martin,
which is a remake from the 90s.
I had never seen it.
It's since been remade again, right?
I don't know, but he came up first thing in the morning,
got in the bed with me and Christine,
he looks at me and he's like,
you ready to watch the movie?
And I'm like, oh yeah, I did promise that.
So like first thing.
Oh, to finish the movie? Yesterday I'm like, oh yeah, I did promise that. So like first thing. Oh, to finish the movie?
Yesterday morning, no, we started it over.
And have you seen it?
I'm not sure.
It was really funny, man.
I mean, I've been deprived of a lot of comedy
and I realized that like, I just,
I didn't think I would find it funny
because it's like a lot of slapstick and it's very,
but there's a whole layer of smart
baked into how this thing was written.
Now I only got 21% on Rotten Tomatoes,
but you know what, I'm taking back what I said.
When it comes to comedy, probably horror too,
it's not reliable.
I think that at least the first half of that movie
is if you're in the right frame of mind
and you take it for what it is, it is very funny.
It is very smart the way that they have executed
something that is so, well not stupid but oblivious,
this character.
Very funny man, I highly recommend it.
We had a blast, the two of us just cackling.
And so I'll credit Shepard for that.
Oh he's a great, he's a great critic.
He loved that movie.
Critic, critic.
2006, thanks Jenna, so yeah, it came out,
so yeah, not even in the 90s.
There was a sequel that we haven't watched yet,
but maybe we'll watch that.
That's not our recommendations though.
Should we go to that?
Let's put a capper on what we've learned from our vacations.
Fire and ice.
Check your ego at the door.
Well again, my mission, your mission was to relax,
my mission was to prepare for a longer trip
and I was a little bit worried about like,
you know, it was so cold, it was difficult conditions,
great conditions but difficult conditions.
Is Shepard going to be, you know, kids at that age,
they can go one of two ways.
They can sort of recoil from it
and sort of go into themselves and then you're like,
oh crap, I've already paid for this week long vacation
in Colorado and now I'm the only one that wants to do it.
When we left the mountain on the last day,
Shepherd was like, do we have to leave?
One more run, Dad.
And so he's on board.
He was the one that I was worried about, right?
That's good, I mean, you did sweeten the deal
with the topless woman.
Right, now he just thinks that every time
we go to the mountains, we ski during the day
and then we watch Naked Ladies at night
and I'm gonna have to correct that vision.
I feel like there's some things that have been discussed
in this episode that we're gonna have to apologize for,
but not.
And what did you learn?
I didn't buy the banner.
You're not a bushy bitch.
I might be, still don't know what it means.
Maybe saying no to the banner makes you a bushy bitch.
Right.
Did you learn anything else?
No, I just learned what happened with you.
Wrecks in effect, check baby, check baby,
one, two, three, four, check baby, check baby,
one, two, check baby, check baby, one.
I watched during the probably 20 hours of flight
that we took to and from London,
I watched the entire Waco series.
Waco, Texas.
So it's on, I think it's on Paramount,
like the Paramount Network,
which a lot of people don't have,
but they're trying some things, you know?
They're trying to establish themselves.
This is the Branch Davidians,
well they don't call themselves a cult,
but that's what the US government call themselves.
They were definitely a cult.
So you remember David Koresh, the Branch Davidians,
early 90s, there was a, how many days would you have said
that the standoff between the Branch Davidians
and the government was?
Because we were in high school at the time.
I remember hearing about it on the news,
but what would you guess?
They talked about it a long time,
but I mean, I'm just gonna guess seven days.
50 days.
50 days.
Maybe 51 days.
There was a standoff, and it was a really interesting time.
First of all, you know, I think that back in the,
let me just say that Taylor Kish,
or however you say his name,
of Friday Night Lights fame.
Riggs.
Plays David Koresh and he's excellent.
He's really, really good, very compelling.
And there's other, kind of a who's who
of sort of supporting actors from other shows.
I'm glad he did good because he did bad.
Well he was in that Disney movie
that cost a whole lot of money.
Oh that was a little bit of an embarrassment.
And that, yeah, that kinda.
But he was great in this, showed a lot of versatility.
It's very difficult to be taken seriously
and to be this compelling character
with a mullet in that way and he just kinda nailed it.
But the side piece from House of Cards,
like Claire Underwood's side piece,
that guy was in it and then Supergirl was in it
and then the blonde curly-headed girl from Ozark.
There's just a lot of people, you're like,
oh, that guy from that, that girl from this.
And I thought they did, I really enjoyed it
because I like the historical aspect
but the interesting thing about it is that
there's the story that the FBI and the ATF
kind of put out about what happened,
which is the story that as a kid in the 90s,
listening to the news, you get the government story.
And I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist
as much as I like to say things like Finland doesn't exist
for funsies on GMM.
I'm really not really prone to believe conspiracies.
But it's interesting because the whole series
is from the perspective of the FBI negotiator
who basically got kicked off of the job towards the end
and a guy named David Thibodeau
who was one of the cult members who got out
and kind of made it out of this thing alive.
And basically it's like you heard that this was all
the stuff that was happening,
but this is our perspective on what happened.
So I'm sure that it's biased,
I'm sure that it's not true, 100% true.
But you've got sort of the government story
and then you've got the Branch Davidian story.
And it's just very interesting to see that perspective.
You're like, oh, that's kind of makes me,
I wonder what actually went down.
But I recommend it, it's only six episodes,
so it's one of those things that there's not too much
of a commitment to just see the story played out
and it's well executed.
So are you a Branch Davidian now?
No, I'm definitely not a Branch Davidian.
David Koresh was very whack and did a bunch
of really ridiculous things,
but I don't necessarily think that they should have been,
executed by the government.
That's the rec for this week.
Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know what you think about,
I don't know, chains on tires?
Anything else that you wanna throw out there at us,
let's keep the conversation going.
And you know what, you can count on us
to speak at you next week,
most likely about our experience in London.
We learned a lot, we experienced a lot.
We shared it with each other,
but now we need to share it with you.
Yes.