Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 198: Is It Ever Okay to Kill Someone? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 198
Episode Date: June 17, 2019Would you kill someone to save your kid? Or what if a million other lives were on the line? R&L take a dive into some ethical conundrums and discuss how they would act if people's lives were resting i...n their hands on this episode of Ear Biscuits! Sponsored by: Quip: Go to GetQuip.com/Ear right now to get your first refill pack for FREE!Dunkin’: Visit Dunkin’ now and power up your day with the Dunkin’ Power Breakfast Sandwich and Egg White Dunkin’ Bowl! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is mythical.
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Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of dim lighting,
we are exploring the question,
is it ever okay to kill someone?
Whoa.
Yep, getting real.
And if so, are we ready, willing, and able to do it?
Yes, and we're going to be, I said yes.
I wasn't saying yes like I'm ready to kill somebody.
No spoilers.
I'm just saying yes, that is what we're talking about.
We're talking about ethical conundrums.
That's a great word, conundrum.
Dilemmas, conundrums.
And some classics, some maybe that you've never
considered before, so putting ourselves into a situation
where we have to make a decision that may result in someone's death.
And how do we go about navigating that ethically?
And comedically, of course.
You know what, there's something I've been wanting to share
and I think this is the perfect place to share it.
Something that happened to me.
Dude, this is a safe space for you.
Thank you.
The round table of dim lighting is a safe space.
Well, I've been wanting to tell you
about this thing that happened to me
and I do think I can frame it as an ethical dilemma.
Well then you should.
For me, should I have taken action?
Oh.
Or for the person who did it to me,
was it right for them to do it?
Well, I'm intrigued. Or wrong.
Or I think third option, was it just creepy, weird,
odd or uncalled for, okay?
Now I will say up top, this is a massage story.
Oh gosh.
I mean, if you had to think about, one thing, like the through line of Ear Biscuits,
I don't know how you think of Ear Biscuits, dear
Ear Biscuiteer, listener.
Couple of douches talking about massages.
But we do talk about massages a lot.
Yeah.
Hopefully you've had your first massage.
Really this is all just a plan to get you,
if you've never been massaged.
You talked about massage last episode.
I did, yeah.
I thought that's why you were.
Man massage.
Yeah.
Well, I will say, well I won't say.
I was about to say something but I ain't gonna say it.
You can say anything you want to.
For the sake of.
It's a safe space.
Safe space?
So I went in for a massage and you know, the place that I go to, ever since the pregnant woman
had the baby, she never came back and she was amazing.
She's massaging that baby now.
That baby's getting all the massages.
She was like the best masseuse I've ever had.
And she was like full plump pregnant.
Interesting, your masseuse was pregnant and my trainer was pregnant.
Yeah.
My fitness trainer was pregnant.
Did she have the baby?
She's due any day now.
Well she'll never come back probably.
She's gonna be training that baby now.
You can come back from having a baby.
I'm not saying you can't.
Oh she's planning on it.
Oh she's planning on it?
She's got it all planned out, yes.
I thought my masseuse did too,
but then it's been almost a year now
and she's not coming back.
I think she moved.
Maybe she got a new, maybe she got a new vocation.
Well she was perfect at this, it was her gifting.
Hmm.
Maybe she's needing dough now.
So now it's kind of like,
She works at a bakery.
It's kind of a crap shoot when I go there.
I'm like, I want a deep tissue massage.
I want someone who can do that.
And I lay down like normal.
Which is what, face up?
Well, I start face down.
They tell you to start face down.
Yeah, I know.
And then halfway through, you roll over and you face up.
Right, yep.
That has nothing to do with this.
I'm face down.
I got my head under the donut,
and I'm starting to get this massage in the back area,
and everything's fine, I'm like,
I'm evaluating, is this gonna be a good massage?
And I'm like, ah, it could be more,
it could be more pressure.
So you gotta ask for more pressure.
But then the pressure increased a little bit
and as the hands move up around the shoulders,
I start to notice that the hands are traveling
in kind of an unexpected pattern.
There's an unexpected quality
to the traveling of the hands.
And I just, I couldn't put my finger on it.
Travel, oh.
The way that my hands are moving, the way that the hands are I just, I couldn't put my finger on it. Travel, oh. The way that my hands are moving,
the way that the hands are moving on my back.
And then as the hands get on.
A hand from two different people or what do you mean?
I could, I can't tell you because.
They're moving together, like everything is in sequence?
No, it was just a weird feeling.
I'm interested in what's happening here.
And then as the hands get up around my shoulder area.
You realize.
It starts to feel this,
the feeling is not any different
than how it's been feeling
and only slightly different than a normal massage.
What?
But then all of a sudden I hear this weird noise,
like a suction kind of a noise.
And it's like, like a suction kind of a noise.
And it's like, and then I realized that the skin on the hands are like sticking to my body a little bit.
Like Spider-Man.
Yeah, it was like.
Like Spider, yes.
Spider-Man's giving you a massage.
It was like Spider-Man, I was a skyscraper
and Spider-Man was giving the building a massage
and it was me.
And then she gets into it a little bit more
and I hear some popping and some stretching.
What?
And I realize this masseuse has on latex gloves.
Okay, okay.
All right, now I understand, I was so confused.
Hold on, but like.
And once I realized.
Latex gloves will still slide with massage oil.
Yeah, with massage, right,
that's why I couldn't tell at first,
but then when they got right up there by my ears,
based on the sound,
I could tell it was latex skin. It was gloves.
Interesting.
And then I'm like, what is going on?
Do you think this woman does this for everyone
or she judged you?
This is definitely a Glover.
This guy's definitely a Glover.
Might have scabies.
We went to grade school with a girl,
his last name was Glover.
Remember that?
I wonder where that originated from,
like the first Glover.
Were they people who made gloves?
Almost assuredly, yes.
Right, latex gloves for masseuses.
Yeah.
And at this point I'm like.
Or maybe they were just a good lover
and it was shortened.
I didn't want, I'll just tell you that I decided
not to say anything, but I was trying to figure out,
am I gonna say something like?
Ah, gloves, huh?
At a certain, yeah.
Are those gloves or?
Are your hands really cold?
Are they blue?
Is the skin coming off your hands?
Were they blue?
I didn't look.
My hands weren't, I just said my eyes, my hands, my feet.
Yeah, I told you.
My face was in the donut.
Right, it's all speculation at this point.
And so, if it was a fabulous massage,
it probably would have overcome the fact
that there was latex involved.
But yeah, I started thinking,
but it was just an average massage,
so I think that made it a little worse.
But this is a weird.
It did not make it horrible, it made it weird.
And I'm thinking, yeah, is it me?
Is there something about? No, it's weird.
Is it, or is it her?
I think it's weird.
I know the place that you go, right?
Yeah, it's a chain.
It's a chain that's known and respected.
It's not some seedy place.
No.
I assume that there's some sort of contract
that you have to sign.
There's like eight or nine masseuses.
They're probably all trained under the same regimen.
But I think part of that has to be.
The gloves is weird.
If you're gonna elect to wear gloves,
and if it's not about me, You should say it.
Then maybe it's about her.
Maybe it's, I wear gloves.
Because doing this so long has made my hands really rough
and you know, your hands dry out
and then it makes for a unpleasant experience
for the person getting a massage if your hands are like,
I had a massage one time.
I seriously doubt that's the reason.
I had a massage one time from a man actually.
A rough handed man?
He had rough hands and it almost felt like
I was getting scratched if certain parts of his hands
went along my surface.
Okay, I understand that that can happen,
but I would assume that-
I do think that that could happen.
It's a hygiene thing.
I think this person is like-
Or if they have like an open wound.
Sir, I don't like to touch people's skin.
I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong career.
I mean if you- But here we are.
If you go in the room and you're like,
all right, let's do this,
and you see the person, they got a lot of back knee
or like open wounds on their back,
first of all, don't go to a masseuse,
just let yourself heal, brother.
I think I respect the fact that they could choose
to put on gloves, but it wasn't me.
I got nothing at the time, at least,
that's gonna make them pause.
So I think it has to do with something like that.
And again, I just feel like you need to say something.
I just wanna let you know I'm gonna be wearing latex gloves,
but I do this a lot and I do not,
I can confidently say it's not gonna compromise
your experience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you'd like to.
Nothing against you, I do this with everyone.
Yeah, the fact that she didn't say anything,
I think was, I think we're dealing with an ethical conundrum
and I think she failed.
But what about, so I killed her.
What should you?
I murdered her.
What should you have done?
You think you should have said something about it?
Well, I think when I left and I paid and that's when you put the tip out there.
You put it in a little glove
and put like a dollar in a glove.
Just put a glove as the tip.
Like she's gonna need this.
It's not used.
No, the person at the counter was like, how was it?
And I was like, fine.
There were gloves.
But I should have said, well,
I was a little taken aback by the fact
that there were gloves involved. I mean, what, well, I was a little taken aback by the fact that there were gloves involved.
I mean, was this gonna turn into some sort of exam?
I think you could say that next time.
Now, if you go back.
I haven't been back since then.
I haven't gotten a massage since the latex glove massage.
How long ago was this?
And for the record, there was not an exam involved.
Before a few minutes there, I didn't know.
Right, how long ago was this?
Could have been an internal massage.
Yeah, unfamiliar.
This has been, it's been three months, man.
Mr. Massage hasn't had a massage in three months
because of the gloves?
It's burnt me, it's burnt me.
Go somewhere else or call and say,
hey, there was this glove situation last time I was there
and I wanna know is that still happening
and maybe I can get somebody who doesn't wear gloves.
I've had a lot of people there and this is the first time.
You're trying to find your replacement
for the lady that is now massaging the baby.
I'm actually, I'm not going to this place anymore
because they're always booked up.
Oh, okay.
You know how my schedule is, man.
I wake up that morning, I'm like, oh yeah,
today I have a window of time,
I could probably get a massage.
They never can get me in there, you know?
And so I think I might need to call and be like,
listen, can I get a massage today?
I know it's last minute,
but I'm willing to take the latex, lady.
Like, that may be the world I'm living in now.
Yeah.
I'm unhappy.
You should go on.
I'm unhappy.
Look at the Yelp reviews
and see if anybody's talked about the gloves.
Because they may, three months later.
Would you have stopped the moment,
like 11 minutes into the massage?
No.
I didn't.
In fact, even when someone tells me, okay.
I'm gonna be having gloves.
What kind of pressure would you like?
And I say, hard.
And then I say, I'll tell you if it's too much.
You don't.
And then I, however, during my Palm Springs massage,
it got to a point where I thought I was going to,
I was beginning to whimper
and thought that I may begin weeping.
And at that point I was like,
that's a little too intense.
I did say that and he let up a little bit.
He was right, he was squeezing this muscle right here in the shoulder,
like that band.
Yeah.
And he was like getting his fingers under it and around it.
Oh wow.
Ugh, this felt so good in the wrong, in the right ways,
bad in the right ways, I don't know.
But yeah, I had to tell him to let up
because I was like, I'm gonna start crying,
I don't wanna do that.
But it takes a lot for me to tell you to stop.
So I'm definitely, if rubber gloves off would say nothing.
If she would have done that to me, it would have been like,
oh, you're gonna have to take the gloves off.
You're gonna have to go gloveless for this one.
Well that is much weirder to say something
about the gloves, like she touches you
and you hear something and then like you like,
you pull your head up and turn around and look.
Oh, you got gloves on, huh?
She probably would have explained it.
He's loving it.
Okay, well we have more, I think.
We both failed at that ethical conundrum.
We've got more difficult ethical conundrums
that we'll be getting to.
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What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk
or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is...
Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to
Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show.
With the best celebrity guests.
And hot takes galore.
So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel.
We actually, this was, the reason for this episode was we got a question when we asked you guys to ask us anything.
was we got a question when we asked you guys to ask us anything, a guy named John,
the real John Doe on Twitter asked us,
he said I'd love to hear you guys discuss the trolley problem.
Okay.
And so that gave us the idea,
well what if we did a whole episode
where we just went through some different ethical conundrums
starting with what I think is,
most people probably have heard of this,
may not know specifically what the specifics are,
but you've heard of the trolley problem.
Maybe give a quick summary though.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna read it.
You see a runaway trolley, let's just say it's a train.
Well, no, let's say you're in San Francisco.
Well, but I think the tracks. Sightseeing.
Okay, the key here is there's tracks involved.
You see a runaway trolley moving toward five tied up
or otherwise incapacitated people lying on the tracks.
You're standing next to a lever or a lever,
whatever you prefer, that controls a switch.
If you pull the lever, the trolley will be redirected
onto a sidetrack and the five people on the main track
will be saved.
However, there is a single person lying on the sidetrack.
You have two options.
Do nothing and allow the trolley to kill the five people
on the main track or two, pull the lever,
diverting the trolley onto the sidetrack
where it will kill one person,
which is the more ethical option.
Now on its face, you may have a knee-jerk reaction
and think that you know what your answer would be.
But the reason that this has been considered
a difficult ethical conundrum or just an ethical conundrum
is because there's an active choice being made
to kill someone
that you are responsible for.
Versus a passive choice just to sit there
and let something happen.
In other words, you weren't technically involved.
If you weren't present, like if you weren't present
and this situation just happened in the universe somewhere,
you wouldn't be morally culpable for anything that happened.
But because you're there and now you have the option
to pull the lever, that's what makes it
a difficult situation.
Now, the trolley problem has been used
or referenced quite a bit as people are trying
to program autonomous vehicles.
So self-driving cars are being given basically programs
to be able to make these kinds of decisions.
And interestingly, most people who,
most ethicists or most engineers who looked at this
have said that the trolley problem is not a great example
of something that an autonomous vehicle needs to navigate
because it's so binary.
Because basically, autonomous vehicles do not
enter situations where it's like one person or five people.
Like that's very uncommon.
More often, there is a range of possibilities
and even within those binary possibilities,
there's a bunch of different outcomes that could happen.
And so it's actually way more complex
than just giving it some trolley problem program
or however you would go about programming a car.
So, but having said all that,
what would you, let's just say this is the situation.
Now typically this doesn't happen.
People don't get tied to railroad tracks
outside of cartoons usually or old westerns.
But let's just say.
I didn't think masseuses used latex gloves either.
That's right.
So let's just say you're in this situation,
what would you do?
I feel like I would pull the lever
because I feel like not doing anything is,
that's still an act, it's an act of omission.
Well, the first thing that would happen to me
is if I was in this situation, I would be like,
oh, crap, I am literally in the trolley problem right now.
I'm like, how did I get here?
Literally this is happening.
There's five people on this track
and there's one person on this track
and I'm right next to the lever?
That's funny but no you wouldn't.
I mean, here's an interesting side note.
In Michael Stevens' series on what was YouTube Reddit at the time, YouTube Premium,
which who knows what it's gonna become, YouTube.
Super Premium.
Super, super, super time.
Nothing.
Right, it's just gonna be nothing at some point.
Yeah.
Because you'll just be in front of the paywall.
Right.
I hope Buddy System moves in front of the paywall.
Yeah, we don't know.
We don't know if that's gonna happen.
We hope it will.
So you may know his channel as Vsauce,
but he had a series called Mind Field,
with a D, Mind.
With a D.
And he actually set up like a,
it was like an elaborate prank.
People thought they were literally, yeah, yeah.
Where they were literally lured into this trailer
and allowed to like take a look
at the track switching mechanism.
Then the guy who was in charge of it had to like,
you know, go to the bathroom or something.
And then at that moment, looking through the windows
or on the monitors, he says, okay,
train's gonna kill five people or just one person over here
and then they could either pull the lever or not.
And I mean, they gave like psychiatric evaluations
to these blindsided people beforehand
in order to like make sure they weren't gonna send someone
into like a catatonic state or something.
Right, yeah.
And even though they did that,
it in and of itself became like ethically questionable
and Michael had a lot of difficulty.
Submitting people to the trolley problem
was an ethical dilemma.
Yeah, they went through with it,
but man, it's fascinating because people were freaking out.
You know, as you would imagine.
This is not a normal thing.
You know, it's just like, I mean.
We typically don't have, unless you're a doctor,
you typically don't have people's lives in your hands.
This is an unusual situation for most people.
I felt horrible for the people because they, I mean.
Do you remember like what most people did?
Like I mean, they only showed,
it's not like a legitimate sample size.
I don't know how they chose who they put into the edit,
but everything happened.
Like somebody ran out, somebody broke down,
somebody switched the track, somebody didn't.
You know, it's like, it all happened.
Now we.
But they didn't have any statistics.
They didn't do like, it wasn't like a study.
It was just a YouTube series.
Now we polled the staff here, right?
Yeah.
Well you didn't, yeah, and Kiko said
there was like 12 or 14 Mythical team members who were.
Okay.
But what's your answer?
I mean, you think you would.
I would definitely pull the lever to kill the one person.
You would kill one person in one sense of the word,
but you would save five lives.
I don't see a lot of difference.
Because I'm there and I have the option
and my inaction will result in the death of five people,
the whole thing about, well, one is passive
and one is active, in that scenario,
because it's so simple and so clean,
and also I don't know the people so I don't have it,
you can complicate the trolley problem
which we'll do in a second but an uncomplicated
five, six strangers in that scenario,
I'm pulling the lever, no questions asked.
With little to no regret.
You don't know how much psychological ramifications
it would be with either way.
Well of course, I'm just saying that I would make
the decision without regret, I'm not saying I wouldn't
suffer from the consequences of having killed somebody.
I'll also say that in The Good Place,
they had this entire scene which was like the trolley problem
and it was funny.
Have you seen the movie The Dawn Wall?
No. So you watched Free Solo? problem. It was funny. Have you seen the movie The Dawn Wall? No.
So you watch Free Solo?
Yes.
Alex Honnold.
There's another movie on Netflix.
It's another doc called The Dawn Wall.
And it's about- Mountain climber?
It's about these guys who, one guy in particular,
who was trying to do the most difficult face,
the Dawn Wall of Half Tome, is that it?
It's the most difficult climb in the entire world.
No one's ever done it.
Now he's not free soloing, he's tied in
and it takes long, they camp up there
and it takes a long time but it's like an impossible route.
That guy has an incredible story
and when he was
like 19 or 20 years old, they went. He operated trolleys?
No, they went into, it was like the year 2000
and they went into somewhere in like Uzbekistan
or someplace like that to do some crazy climbing
and this is like back when there were sort of
the precursors to Al-Qaeda and ISIS and stuff
and there was some Islamic fighter dudes who kidnapped them
and shot one of the people, so killed one of the dudes
so they knew that these guys were serious.
But then they were like going in circles.
Long story short, this guy, one fighter,
like one armed fighter ends up going up this mountain
with like three of them and so they start talking to each other about how they just need to push this guy, one fighter, like one armed fighter ends up going up this mountain with like three of them.
And so they start talking to each other
about how they just need to push this guy off the cliff
and kill him.
And they're talking in English
because he can't understand them.
And the dude pushes the guy off the cliff.
Really? Yeah.
To save him and himself and his friends.
And it was a huge news thing.
Like when he came back, like he was on the Today Show
and Good Morning America, they were like,
so you were over there and you pushed this guy off the cliff?
Anyway, it's a similar thing.
Like I'm gonna save my friends.
Of course, in that situation,
this guy has already demonstrated that he can
and probably will kill you.
He's starting out in the wrong,
so it's a little bit different.
But anyway, it just made me think of.
I predict that.
I recommend that movie, by the way.
The Mythical. That's not my rec.
I have another rec, but I do recommend it.
I predict that Mythical team members
are gonna agree with us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think this one's
pretty straightforward.
Yeah, okay, okay, so option two is pull the lever.
Yeah, yeah, so option one is do nothing. The majority of people did say they would pull the lever. Yeah, yeah, so auction one is do nothing.
The majority of people did say they would pull the lever.
But Lucas, Kevin, Nick, and Paisley said they wouldn't.
Wow, that's an interesting group.
That's a weird one.
What do those guys have in common?
They don't have any backbone, apparently.
They can't take action.
I don't know.
No, they're not here to,
Dave and Matthew,
Kiko, Kristen, Chase, Caitlin, Aubrey, Casey, and Bethany.
They'd all pull the lever.
Okay, well you're all right.
Now, here's what I'll say.
The trolley problem.
It wasn't 100% though.
Trolley problem, in my mind,
isn't that difficult of a conundrum,
but let's complicate it a little bit, okay?
This is basically hinging on the same principle
of the trolley problem, but more complex situation.
You are a doctor at a top hospital.
I don't know why it has to be a top hospital.
You have six gravely ill patients,
five of whom are in urgent need of organ transplants.
You can't help them though,
because there are no available organs
that can be used to save their lives.
The sixth patient, however, will die
without a particular medicine.
If he or she dies, you will be able to save
the other five patients by using the organs
of patient six who is an organ donor.
What do you do?
Now, let me just say a couple of things
before the smartasseses in the comments
start pointing things out.
I understand this is not how organ transplants work.
You can't just take something out of somebody
and put it into somebody else.
There's like, they have to be matches
and situations like that.
Also, there aren't really comments on podcasts.
Also, well when this goes to YouTube,, there are also, there are legal,
like let's just say you're not working within a legal system
because there are actually laws, like you can't,
in other words, at least if you're in the United States,
you can't kill someone or let someone die
just to give organs to someone else.
You can't do that, that's against the law.
So in our laws, but let's just say that this is the situation
like this person will save all five people,
no questions asked, they're a match and there are no laws.
You're not gonna be prosecuted for your decision.
But I do think the fact that there are laws
which dictate the ethics for us,
I do think that that's revealing, right?
Because I guess to boil it down, it's like do no harm,
do not actively hurt somebody,
even if that means saving five times as many people.
Which is why the trolley problem is so complex.
But I think the trolley problem in its just pureness
as its initial presentation is an easy decision for me.
This however is the same.
Are you saying it's the same?
It's the same principles, but I think that there are
Well the trolley problem is preventing,
having the option to prevent one of two accidents,
which you can't prevent both.
I guess that's the same here.
You're preventing the medical demise of these people.
It's not like, oh man.
Well, a doctor can't do it.
A doctor's not allowed to do that.
But I actually feel like.
This is gonna make you feel differently.
You're gonna go back on the trolley problem because of this?
I don't know, what would you do?
Well the reason the trolley problem seems easier to me
is because it is not my job.
When you're a doctor, you've got the Hippocratic Oath, right?
And so you don't get into the situation
where you're weighing patients lives against one another
because that quickly gets out of hand, right?
But the trolley problem in its pure form doesn't get out of hand, right? Mm-hmm. But the trolley problem in its pure form
doesn't get out of hand, it's so simple.
It's just like five people die or one person dies.
Five people, somebody's gonna die
and the train's gonna go on either track.
It just seems so binary but as soon as you pull back
and you get into a little bit more
of a real life situation like this,
I acknowledge it becomes very, very difficult
to make a decision.
But let's just say you're not, okay,
you're not going to be, a couple things can be guaranteed.
You're not gonna be prosecuted.
You know that all those people are going to be saved.
And...
Well, it's just not, there are, you have to do the right,
I think the right thing to do is not to harm the person,
you gotta try to give this person the medicine,
give the one person the medicine and help them
and then trust that you know what,
other people are gonna die and maybe at the last minute
some organs are gonna swoop in.
Maybe we'll open a cabinet and it'll be full of organs.
Whoops, forgot about that organ cabinet.
Well and that's why in the real world,
this is why you gotta behave exactly the way you just said
because you don't know what's gonna happen.
You don't have all the knowledge.
Because real world situations are more complex
and things can change.
But what if these are the last, okay, okay.
What if these are the last six people on the planet?
Okay, these are the last six people on the planet.
Well, so now you can save five or you can save one.
Is the one?
Could be you and one person.
A woman you can procreate with?
Let's just say you're a man and they're all women.
I'm not trying to create like a utopian situation for myself, I'm just saying that, no, so you are going,
yeah.
This is a different ethical question.
No, no, no, so I'm saying that like you have to
repopulate the planet, it's your job, the burden is on you.
But you can do it with five people.
I didn't mean to walk into this situation.
It's not about procreation.
It's just about these are the last people on the planet.
If it's not about procreation,
it's not about continuing the species, then who cares?
Okay, no.
What if you're all going to die?
Everyone's infertile.
But either six people total are going to continue to live
or two people are gonna continue to live.
Do the best you can to the person who's dying the quickest
and if that's giving the medicine, give them the medicine
and then maybe somebody just needs a kidney,
that ain't gonna kill them.
Well situation.
And then you go to the five people
and just like all right, which one of you
wants to sacrifice yourself in order to give your organs
to the other people?
It's like giving up an airplane seat.
Yeah it's no different.
Let it be their decision.
I would take a poll, that's what I would do,
I'd put it back on them.
Like I'm just a guy with a knife.
You know, you guys have the power.
Okay, so you think it would be ethically okay
to tell the person who, listen, I can give you this medicine
but I want you to know that if you die,
you'll save five people.
You think it's ethical to tell that person that?
And now they're gonna be racked with guilt
the rest of their life if they take the medicine?
I don't think you can do that either.
I don't think- Well, that either. I don't think.
Well that's kind of mean but it's not wrong, it's true.
I think they need to have a role in it.
Okay. They need to have
a voice in it.
Let's make this even more complex.
What if this one person has the organs
to save a million people?
That can't happen, again, it's not a real situation,
but I'm saying they could save a million people.
That's amazing.
Wow, yeah, okay, yeah, just let them go.
That's a lot of people, a million people?
Yeah, a million people.
This person has lots of extra organs.
Like a million hearts. Yeah, they got all kinds of stuff. Like cows with stomachs? Yeah, a million people. This person has lots of extra organs. Like a million hearts.
Yeah, they got all kinds of stuff.
Like cows with stomachs?
Yeah.
Is there a point in which it becomes okay?
I think it's a million.
That's a big, nice, round number.
Like half a million?
Oh no.
Because if you, I think half a million.
If somebody came to you.
499,999, no.
If somebody came to me and they were like,
you could have saved this a million people.
You could have saved a hundred people.
You could have saved a thousand people,
but this one guy was better.
And you know what?
It turns out this guy's an asshole.
Not only that, but he's kind of a jerk.
What if the guy you need to get the medicine to
is 87 years old?
Yeah, I would let it be his decision.
I'm still going with that.
Things get more complex.
Even with the million.
And how do you place worth on someone's life?
It's become worth less as they get older?
Now we're in the euthanasia situation.
What if the person, what if it's a million people,
but then the one person who could get the medicine
and get fully well is your wife or like your child?
Well okay, so what you've essentially done is
take the trolley problem but the one person on the track
is my kid, your kid.
What do you do now?
What if it's my I don't know those five people.
What if it's my three kids
and then over here on the other track are your two kids?
Well- Why you laughing?
And who's got the lever?
You.
I'm sitting there watching though.
And whose kids are gonna die if I don't do anything?
I'm gonna pull that lever,
we're gonna both be yanking on that lever.
I gotta work on my yanking skills.
Well okay, all right, you know what?
I gotta out yank you.
I got more kids than you.
Okay, all right, you know what,
I'm going to skip to that exact question that somebody.
Oh, that's an exact question?
Pretty close.
Your family is vacationing alone
on a private stretch of beach with no lifeguard.
Your daughter. I was just doing that.
And your niece. Okay.
Both seven are best friends
and eager to get into the water.
You caution them to wait until the water calms some,
but they defy you and sneak in anyway.
You soon hear screams of distress
and find them both caught in a strong current.
Well you gotta listen, you may be presented
with this real life connection.
I mean you have to make a decision,
put your Speedo on and pull your big boy Speedo up.
You're the only strong swimmer,
you're the only swimmer strong enough to save them
but you can only save one at a time.
Your niece is a very poor swimmer
and likely won't make it much longer.
Your daughter, however, is a stronger swimmer,
but only has a 50% chance of holding on long enough
for you to come back for her.
Who do you save first?
Oh.
Now,
as I read this, I've formulated my answer.
There's a 50% chance that you could save both of them.
Let's just say that, let's not say that, okay,
to me this seems easy.
I gotta save the one that's a weaker swimmer.
I have to save my niece and then hope for the best
for my daughter for a couple of reasons.
Number one, my daughter has a better chance
of surviving on her own, my niece doesn't,
at least as presented in this situation.
And you have to deal with this decision forever
and you have to deal with the people's opinions
about your decision forever and to be like,
I sacrificed my own kid to save yours
versus I sacrificed your kid to save mine
is kind of a better legacy, right?
It's something, it's easier to live with.
It's not easy to live without your own kid, obviously,
but I think that's something you have to take into account.
But let's just say they're not, one's not a better swimmer.
Let's just say you've got to save one of them
and one of the other, and the other one is going to die.
And they're both equal swimmers.
Do you save your daughter's friend or niece or whatever?
Or do you save your daughter?
It's not like you're swimming out there
and then like a video game,
there's like a percent chance of like their survival
and like data on how well of a swimmer they are.
You're gonna swim out there,
you're gonna grab both of them.
You don't see metadata over people's heads at all times?
No. I do.
And then you're gonna swim out there
and you're gonna grab both of them and you're gonna-
Hope for the best.
And you're gonna all drown probably.
I mean, I'm sorry, but that's what's gonna happen.
Like, but that's what I would do.
You'd grab both of them and drown?
And you're not thinking logically.
All you're thinking is I've gotta rescue these girls
and then you go out there and you grab them
and you try to figure out a way and like,
it doesn't happen immediately.
So it's like, I don't wanna talk about this.
Hold on, but this is why it's a conundrum, man.
You can't just run from the conundrum.
You have to swim out into the middle of it.
The fact that I don't wanna talk about it
means I'm not gonna swim out there at all, I guess.
I'm gonna swim out there, man.
I don't know, I've surprised myself before.
I would grab both of them.
I watched one of those John Keonis,
what would you do situations,
and they were trying to figure out how people would intervene.
Basically the whole show is about are you gonna intervene
in this situation but. Yeah.
And then there's a certain, actually a smaller percentage
than you would imagine of people who are like heroes.
Like very, like a lot of people are like,
when people do something crazy and save a bunch of people
and they're like, I mean, anybody would have done
what I did in that situation.
At age 12. No, no, no.
Very few people would have done it, actually.
And it isn't necessarily the case that
the people who make the decision to run out
and put themselves in harm's way to save someone
are inherently better people.
Morally, in every other way, they would be
very consistently moral and ethical
in other areas of their lives.
It's just that they have something in them
that makes them not freeze up like most people do
in those situations and actually go into action
and solve the problem.
I don't think that I am,
I've never been presented with this situation,
but I have a tendency to think that
the most of what would be driving me in that situation
is like, oh, I'm gonna feel like such a jerk
if I don't do something.
But I don't think the people who act think that,
I think they just do it.
They do it without thought.
They're doing it before it's too late.
Yeah, just on instinct.
So what would you do when you swim out there?
I notice you just tend to be asking the questions
and then you don't really say what you would do.
Well, I mean,
man. Okay, I mean, man.
Okay, I think realistically, what I would do is,
like you said, I wouldn't quickly calculate.
If I was the only person out there
and they were basically next to each other,
I would be like, both of you guys grab onto me
and I would start trying to swim.
Now, what would probably happen is,
pretty quickly I'd realize that I can't swim in
with both of them.
And so I'm right back to the decision.
I have to make a decision.
I have to let someone go.
I could be like, okay guys, we're not gonna try to swim in.
We're just gonna drift.
And I would like be like, all right, everybody calm down.
Everybody calm down and just breathe in deeply.
We're gonna float.
And we're gonna wait for a lifeguard in a jet ski to come
or the Coast Guard or something,
we're just gonna try to float.
Like I'm not gonna try to save you,
I'm gonna try to create a situation where I can prolong
my indecision for as long as possible.
So I think practically that's what I would do.
But if it was like legitimately you've got to make
a decision, I think I'd have to pick
the one that wasn't my kid.
Well let's just, this is so much fun,
let's just move on to another one.
Okay.
Isn't there one related to like if it were just me and you?
Let's not bring children into this.
Okay, well I have a much lighter hearted one.
Okay.
I thought that was one about like we're on an island
and there's a cure.
Yep, here we go.
Choice for the cure.
So we'll do this one.
Then we'll do the lighter hearted one.
You and your friend are stranded on an island.
Unfortunately, you're both fatally ill.
A lot of people are just fatally ill,
gravely ill in these situations.
It just so happens that you have an antibiotic
that can cure your illness.
Sadly enough, there's just enough antibiotic
to save only one person.
How could you and your friend choose?
Which one of you will take the antibiotic?
Do you think that either person who takes it
will or should feel guilty for the other person dying?
Although if neither of you take it, you will both die?
So we both got the thing.
And somehow we know that we can't just divide it up.
First of all, I question that.
It's like if we're out there on the island
and we're drumming up this antibiotic.
Yeah, we can't keep poking holes.
We can't keep poking holes in the ethical conundrums
because you're right, they're not realistic.
Well, that's what's frustrating about them.
I think what I would do is-
Well, that's what makes programming autonomous vehicles
so difficult because real world conundrums
are not this, you know,
switching, it's not just all these little binary decisions.
It's all on a spectrum.
I would suggest that we split the antibiotic
and hope for the best.
And if we both die, I can live with that.
That's really good.
Did you mean it to be that good?
Well, okay.
I never took ethics in college.
All right, okay. Did you?
No, I wanted to talk about that because interestingly,
because we've got engineering degrees,
now you actually ended up taking an intro to film class,
which was the most interesting class that either of us took.
Yeah.
You decided to- It was one of the classes I had to write a It was one of the few classes I had to write a paper in
and it was horrible.
I had to write a paper about movies.
Well. That sucks.
Really? Okay.
I just wanna watch movies.
Make or make movies.
But I was talking about this with Jessie the other day.
I was like, my college education was so technical.
Yeah.
That it's just useless to me now.
It's just like, I wish, oh, the best class I ever took
was that future studies class.
I took a psychology 101.
If I could go back to college, I would just be like,
what am I interested in?
That's what I wanna learn.
Of course, I didn't have to use my degree,
so that's a privilege that I have.
But yeah, we never talked about this.
We never took an ethics class.
I didn't even take a statistics class.
You gotta take that.
I would not recommend taking that to scratch an itch.
No, but it.
I took two of those.
But it's very practical.
It's very practical.
It gets very impractical very quickly.
But yeah, but we didn't talk about these things.
And they make better discussion questions than real life situations.
But okay, here's a much, since you're talking about
what we would split the antibiotic.
Okay, what if the two of us have taken up
commercial aviation and we, but we're freighter,
we're freighter pilots.
Okay.
And so we're like flying freight across the country
in a big FedEx plane, it's just the two of us.
Planes going down, for some reason,
there's only one parachute.
You would say, you would ask me,
can I have the parachute?
And I would say, I'm afraid not.
Oh gosh.
Why would you already have the parachute?
No but who? Oh I would already have it,
trust me.
Okay first of all.
I would have it on.
Do you think we?
I'd be halfway out the door.
Here's the thing is that you get into the situation
and you're in a panicky situation like that,
how many best friends would just start beating the hell
out of each other to try to end this
and be like the other guy's gonna die.
I don't think that. We would not do that.
We wouldn't do that.
We would begin to try to evaluate.
And very quickly now.
I'd be like, you're taller, man.
No, if it was, okay, if it was me and.
You're probably gonna like hit the propeller
when you jump out. If it was me and my dad,
then I think my dad would be like,
son, you take the parachute.
I'm 75 or however old he is.
I'd sacrifice myself for my kid.
I'd give my kid a parachute, yeah.
And I'm not just talking about my kid.
Yeah, I would also do it for my kid.
I think that whoever has the most life ahead of them
or whatever, that's a good way to sort of gauge it, right?
But if it's us.
But if it's us, even though I am taller
and a little bit older, which means I will die first,
if it's just like natural causes.
But we won't be making those kinds of decisions.
I think for all intents and purposes, it's even.
We each have an even claim to the rest of our lives.
So I think we have to do-
The thing I like about the island
is that you can have days of negotiation.
Like that's fun.
Okay.
At least we're having fun.
We're like trying to come up with some kind of competition.
Trying to figure out.
I think it has to be.
I think you would do that thing we did as kids
where it'd be like, we'd be like him hauling around
in your front yard and he'd be like,
hey, you see that stop sign way over there?
First person to take a rock and hit like the O.
Gets the antibiotic.
Gets the antibiotic.
I wouldn't do that.
I think we would say we have to do something,
we have to let the fates decide.
You'd roll the dice.
Gotta roll the dice.
I'll make the dice.
You go take a nap, I'm gonna make the die.
So rock, paper,
Just take a nap, I'm gonna make the dice.
I'm not gonna be taking the antibiotic.
I wouldn't even be doing, And refill it
with ocean water.
I don't think we should do rock, paper, scissors
because that's a competition.
Then somebody feels bad about their gamesmanship.
It's like how do we let the fates make this decision?
It's like picking do we let the fates make this decision? It's like picking up a palm leaf
and both throwing it up at the same time
so one person isn't controlling.
Whichever direction it's pointing,
that's the person that gets the antibody.
Flip of a coin.
A flip of a coin but it has to be flipped by us together.
Yeah, we're about to flip it together.
Or we're just like no, Link, you get to flip the coin
and we're both gonna live with the results.
You can't control where a coin lands.
The fates have decided.
Well, then that's the comedy
because I flipped the coin and it goes in a hole.
Goes in a snake hole.
There's snakes on this island?
Yeah, and then we gotta dig out the-
I don't wanna live.
And then we're like, we wanna dig out the hole
in order to see, but you gotta dig it out
in such a way to see how it landed. And then a snake comes out and bites you and then I'm like, we wanna dig out the hole in order to see, but you gotta dig it out in such a way to see how it landed.
And then a snake comes out and bites you
and then I'm like, hey man,
not only do you have that other illness,
now you've been bitten by a snake,
so give me the antibiotic.
If we were in the parachute thing,
to me that's easier.
I think, again, I'm the middle ground man,
I think what we would do is, you're bigger,
you'd wear the parachute, okay?
You want me to hold on to you?
And then I'm gonna latch onto you like a baby monkey.
I'm gonna put my legs inside of the straps,
I'm gonna put my arms inside of the straps
and I'm gonna latch on you.
All your joints will dislocate
as soon as I pull the cord, man.
No they won't.
Me holding onto you, I'm just as strong as a,
fine, I'll wear the parachute and you latch onto me.
What would happen if two people
were on one parachute though?
I mean, I know tandem happens all the time,
but it's like a special shoot, right?
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, we both, you're right though.
Maybe, I mean, I wear a belt at all times,
so I could probably somehow strap myself in via belt.
Or like take my jeans off and tie myself in
so I'd be naked but strapped in real hard.
I don't want you to be naked.
I have underwear on.
I don't want you to, I want you to have clothes on.
I wanna live, man.
But you're right, that is what we would do.
But if we were on the island,
there's no arguments that we'd be making.
Like well, I have more kids to support than you do.
I'd make that argument.
Yeah but I don't think that that stands.
More immediate family members will be sad
to see me leave than you.
You can't get into, I think the only thing
that seems like a fair negotiation tactic
is how much life you have to live.
But judging the worth of your current life
just gets into some gray areas.
So what would you do about the antibiotic?
You would flip a coin. I'd flip a coin.
Yeah, yeah, we'd flip a coin.
Flip a coin.
Let's ask if- This is the opening scene
of our movie, by the way.
We're both dying and only one of us can live
and we flip a coin and it goes into a snake hole.
And then the rest of the movie is just digging
into that snake hole, it's a short film.
Yeah, it's a short film.
I'm gonna ask this one that is a little bit less
of a life or death situation.
We've actually talked about something like this.
Every day you commute, your commute back home
requires you to exit from a two lane road onto a freeway.
To do so, you must be.
Read it with more energy.
Yeah, I mean it's already boring.
At least try to make it sound boring.
Every day your commute back home requires you
to exit from a two lane road onto a freeway.
Wow.
To do so, you must be.
I would call that merge onto.
In the right lane, but that right lane backs up
for two miles, adding 20 minutes to your daily commute.
You're tempted to stay in the left lane,
which moves much more quickly,
and then right before the freeway on ramp,
cut ahead of the cars that have been waiting
for the 20 minutes you cut in.
Well, we do this every day, first of all.
The way that we go home, we encounter this.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
I mean.
Not coming to work but going home.
I'm offended by this question
because I think it sets me up to be bad.
Well, okay, so we talked.
I slide in at the last second.
You know why?
Because at the last second, that know why? Because at the last second,
that's when people, they loosen up.
They think, oh, I'm through with this merge.
I can take my time.
I don't have to be right behind the person in front of me.
And they leave a gap.
And so nobody loses.
Well.
Well, maybe they put on breaks.
In one sense, your behavior is creating a longer line.
But you're actually contributing to the problem
that you're avoiding,
which is not a great ethical place to be.
However, I would do the same thing,
but I do it based on the principle that we talked about
on Ear Biscuits before, and which is that the proper way
and the way that autonomous vehicles will merge when they're all autonomous
is they'll do it in a zipper fashion.
They'll fold in.
Hold on, that's not what's happening here.
One after another.
This is not two lanes coming into one lane
and the thing that we actually do where it's like
you got a freeway and then an exit to then go on,
to then go on an overpass onto another freeway.
And you can either be in the far right lane
which backs up, or you can be one lane over.
You're right.
It's not losing a lane, you're right, you're right.
It's just everybody's got to funnel into someplace.
You risk someone not letting you in
and then you're sitting there in the median like a chump.
And then you pay the consequences.
I'm willing to pay those consequences
one out of every 20 times.
This might reveal something about me
that you know, but I'm just being vulnerable.
I do it and as I'm doing it, I think to myself,
you know what, a lot of people are just not comfortable
with the uncertainty and the tension that is created
with getting in at the last second.
But you know what?
I am comfortable with that.
So all these people who are backed up,
they just want to get in and avoid this situation
that I am voluntarily inserting myself into,
this chaotic last minute decision.
They don't have the guts to take the risk.
That's what I'm actually thinking
without even really processing it,
even though I know that the reality is
these people are just nice and I'm an asshole.
Because only an asshole would think
that he's actually embracing chaos
and these people are afraid.
I think the point is.
Jenna's over here laughing.
Are you, do you get in?
Do you do that?
Oh, I mellow out, listen to a podcast.
I don't care about the line.
Oh, you get in the line.
I get in the line, yeah.
And how do you feel about the people like us?
Are you avoiding chaos?
Assholes.
You get mad.
She said we're assholes.
I don't get mad.
I just think that maybe you're having a rough day.
No, I'm not having a rough day,
I'm just having another day.
I'm going home.
Yeah, we got, I mean, people waiting for us.
We got kids waiting for us.
I think the question.
We're passing a bunch of single people,
they don't have to see anybody,
is that a dog or whatever?
I don't have to see Jen out of the corner of my eye the whole time we're doing the podcast. Jen is laughing.
I don't have to see Jen out of the corner of my eye the whole time we're doing the podcast.
Get that judgment.
That judgment hits the back of my head,
not to the side of my eye.
Okay, so we just concluded.
I think the problem, the real test of that is
if everybody did what we did, what would happen?
And then a lane that is supposed to be
like a 65 mile per hour freeway lane
becomes a second off ramp lane.
That ain't how it's supposed to be.
Yeah, right.
Matter of fact, we encountered this twice going home.
And that's why I don't have the patience to do that twice,
to sit in that long line and just quote mellow out.
Yeah, you're right, getting on both interchanges
is what happens, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don. Yeah, you're right, getting on both, both interchanges is what happens.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know, I'll think differently about it
as I'm driving today.
I'll do the same though.
Right.
I will think differently.
Okay, one last one that I think is also practical.
This is something that we can't personally relate to,
but it actually makes me think of an idea
I recently pitched to my wife,
and I'll pitch it to everyone.
You're on a dating website.
Is it ever ethical to make yourself seem younger
than you are?
You're older, you've been single a long time,
and you're lonely.
You're frustrated that it seems
that all the good potential romantic partners
want someone younger.
You think, if only they'd give me a chance,
they'd see I bring a lot to a relationship,
even if I have wrinkles.
So you're wondering, this is very specific,
so you're wondering if like many people,
your profile should say you're younger than you are
and include only a distant photo,
so your age isn't as apparent, what would you do?
So lying about your age, eh, okay.
That feels like, that's a situation you can't back out of
if you're looking for any more than just a hookup.
No, I think that's a great way to start
a lasting, healthy relationship.
But let's just say, what do you think about,
and again, we don't use dating apps, never have, we got married before any of this was a thing.
But people deceive purposely on their profile.
They exaggerate, they only show pictures
where they look good, right?
They only show pictures of their good side
or their good angle or whatever.
Let me just pitch an idea to you
because this whole process seems very deceptive.
And I think that this technology for this exists.
I told Jesse there should be a dating app
where the only picture is,
you open up the app, you take a picture,
like you turn the camera on,
you do a video of your head like this.
All the way around. 360 scan. And then you do a video of your head like this. All the way around.
360 scan.
And then you do a video like this.
Vertically and horizontally.
And then you enter it into a program
that then creates a perfect 3D model
of what you actually look like
and then the person who looks at your profile,
there's no swiping or anything,
it's augmented reality, it's AR.
They kiss it.
Where you can put the camera up there,
your phone and you move your phone around
and it's like you're looking at the person in space
and you're like okay whoa, weak chin, oh weak chin.
Or like whoa, whoa look at it.
Like and so you know exactly
and the name of the dating app is Shallow.
That's my pitch.
Yeah exactly.
No seriously that's it, that's my pitch.
Anybody wants to invest in this?
All it is is a augmented reality interactive picture
of a person's face.
Literally, you don't even know their name,
no stats about them, you don't know their age.
Your decision is based completely on what they actually
look like in real life and it's called shallow.
Listen, based on what you just. I'm taking investors. Based on what you actually look like in real life and it's called shallow. Listen, based on what you just.
I'm taking investors.
Based on what you just told me,
if you hadn't already told me about how you drive,
I would now know.
Okay?
No, it's just an idea for a dating app.
It's authentically presenting yourself,
but it's like, listen, it's all about what you look like.
I got a better idea. What do you think about my idea all about what you look like. I got a better idea.
What do you think about my idea?
I don't like it, I have a better one.
Okay.
You can use this on any dating app
and I don't need any investment.
You post a picture, either a split screen or two pictures,
and you're like, this is me going out on a date with you,
first date look, and this is me staying in,
like I don't expect to see anybody,
like not even going out to get the mail.
And it's like, if you wanna get into like physicality,
go and take care of it, Say, this is my spectrum.
This is my hottest and this is my not-est.
Here's the thing.
People can still deceive within that
because what you do is you set up one of those,
what do you call it when it's a candid shot
that's a planned-ed?
You know this, the word that people are throwing out now,
planned-ed?
Oh, I haven't heard that.
This is what's happened on Instagram where it's a planned, candid shot. Uh-huh. Yeah, you know this word that people are throwing out now, planneded. Oh, I haven't heard that. This is what's happened on Instagram
where it's a planned, candid shot.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, you're right.
So people would be like.
It's easy to fake that.
Look at me and my little PJs,
this is me not going out.
I look so gross.
Right.
Which you still see in my good side.
You know what I'm saying?
We need to, we need to.
I want a 3D skin that includes personality, man.
Okay, all right, all right.
Maybe we can. It is shallow.
Maybe we can incorporate the 3D AR technology
into a more comprehensive dating app
that takes into account things
other than physical appearance.
I just thought if you really wanna just make a decision
based on what somebody looks like,
because that is a big part of the initial thing,
you don't then make a decision of whether or not
you're gonna continue dating based on that,
but a lot of it's kind of based on that initially.
I'm just saying, in fact, Tinder or whatever
the other ones are, talk to me.
Let's incorporate this into your app.
I think you need to create a Tinder account first.
And this whole idea of being able to actually see
what somebody looks like, because when you get there
and you meet at the coffee shop, you're gonna be.
You're gonna be swiping your head around.
You're gonna see every angle.
We're swiveling and swiping your noggin.
You can't maintain your good side, this angle,
during the whole conversation, you can't do that.
You can try, but eventually they're gonna see
the other side of your face.
And then they've gotta deal with the reality.
I think it's, in other words, I do think it's ethically wrong to lie about, definitely lie about your age, your job,
any of that stuff, but I think that it's a gray area,
ethically, to lie about the way you look.
I mean, you wanna put your best foot forward.
But you gotta drag that other foot along for the ride.
You gotta put your bad foot out there too.
Yeah that's right.
Because you're attached to it.
Quite literally.
I think I've learned, I don't, ethics are oversimplified.
I think you know they're constructs to help you think
of things that then in the real world, you're either just acting
on instinct or probably choosing the wrong thing.
You know, to me, the biggest ethical premise
that I live by is act quick and apologize often.
I should've saved my niece, but I don't know,
I was just swimming fast and my daughter was right there.
Sorry. Sorry.
Ouch.
Yeah, that's, I tried to put it in context.
Don't let your niece listen to this.
Do you have a niece?
I don't have a niece.
I got nervous, I was almost gonna say I don't have a niece
and I'm like, hold on, do I have a niece?
I have a half-niece.
Okay, well I think we've solved, I think we've solved.
Is that a thing?
It's a thing.
Yeah, you can have a half-niece.
I have a half-sister, she's got daughters.
I got a half-niece.
Oh yeah, you do have half-nieces.
Yeah.
Yeah, don't go swimming with them.
We did go to the beach once.
Really?
Yeah, we went swimming.
Hmm.
I'm glad they didn't know that you thought
this way about them.
Well I think the worst thing is it seems like
I forgot they existed for a second.
I definitely wouldn't save them.
I didn't know they were around.
Well I've only met them once.
One time.
I've only met them once.
Yeah, you don't have to apologize to me.
Okay.
That's what I said, talk a lot,
apologize most of the time.
Do you have anything else ethical?
No.
Because I have a wreck that I'm excited about.
Let's move on to recommendations, man,
because ethics has made my head explode.
Like trying to be good and right, that's hard.
Now, this actually would have been a better rec
for our previous episode about the secret
to long-term marriage.
Oh, okay.
Because I'm making a music rec,
and I'm making a music rec,
there's an interesting story that goes along with this
because I was in the process of creating my
It's Business Time program that involves lights changing.
Ah, we remember.
In a certain playlist.
And let me just say, for those of you who like to have sound,
like to have musical accompaniment to your mail sorting, I think is the term
that we use in the past.
If you enjoy sorting the mail with your significant other
and you'd like to do that to a soundtrack of some kind,
as I do, as my wife does.
What I found on Spotify, Apple,
regardless of the music service,
the playlists that people have come up with
for mail sorting are inadequate
and they don't align with my personal taste.
It's just you're like, oh, this is a good one.
Everything's going right.
And then all of a sudden you're like,
what the, why'd you put this one in there?
You've ruined it for us.
Too much conga.
And so I was like, I have to engineer my own playlist
that fits my wife and I's vibe.
And I-
You don't want an impotent playlist.
In the process of building this playlist,
I happened upon an artist I was not familiar with named Mac Ayres,
M-A-C-A-Y-R-E-S.
Young guy from New York who's got a couple albums
and it's just this funky, soulful, it's baby making music.
And in fact, he was called the king of baby making music
by somebody like Billboard or somebody.
I mean there was an article about it.
You know how Billboard likes to make babies.
And this guy is really, really incredible.
Now I added many of his songs to the playlist.
I have like a 50 song playlist
and I think Mac's got 10 songs on there.
Boy, that's wishful thinking if I've ever heard of it.
50 song playlist.
You think I'm not trying, I'm not saying
I'm gonna go for 50 songs, I shuffle the list
so you never know what you're gonna get.
There's some Rihanna on there.
That's an ethical conundrum.
And so you never know which,
I don't wanna be repeating myself,
you know, in any way, shape, or form.
I just want the lights to be red every time.
God, the lights turn red?
Well, I mean, it's, we're,
Red light special.
We're dialing in the color of the lights.
Yeah, red, well, there's a reason that we use red,
I mean, let's say, I, try it.
Have you tried it?
Well, do I need to sign up to use your bedroom or something?
No, you can have one of my bulbs.
You don't need, or you could buy your own.
I might reserve a slot in your.
So I find this guy very impressed
and Jessie's very into it. Looks like, oh, that's good. Move on. And, you know and Jessie's very into it.
Looks like, oh that's good.
Move on.
And you know, she's very into the music.
And the whole family, by the way,
I didn't tell the kids why I got to know this guy.
The whole family likes this guy.
He's got a cool vibe.
I didn't say, well, it's for the reason you're here.
It's the reason we like, I didn't say any of that.
I follow this guy on Twitter.
It's like playing Barry White and you're like,
for your bar mitzvah or something.
I start following Mac on Twitter.
He immediately follows me back.
He immediately follows you back.
Messages me and says,
man, I'm a mythical beast.
What? He's like, I've been a fan since I was in Mythical Beast. What?
He's like, I've been a fan since I was in middle school.
He was like, I had the Mythical shoes and everything.
What?
So Mac Mythical Beast airs.
King of,
Turn off the Mac.
King of baby making music is a Mythical Beast.
Does he have any children?
Well, he's responsible for a lot.
He probably needs to be paying child support
to a lot of people.
Just because his music is so effective.
Anyway, highly recommend Mack,
not just for baby making music, just for good vibes.
And also because he's a fan of ours.
But he's a good guy, at least he's got great taste
in internet comedy and he's a talented musician. Up and coming guy, I think he's a good guy, at least he's got great taste in internet comedy and he's a talented musician.
Up and coming guy, I think he's like 22.
Take a listen, follow him on Spotify.
Up and coming, that's the name of his latest album.
Oh wow. I'll tell you, man.
No, that's just what you do in response to his music.
Hey, you don't have to spell it out.
Okay, all right, okay, okay.
When I make a good zinger.
All right, okay, all right.
Just let it. Okay, all right, got it.. When I make a good zinger. All right, okay, all right. Just let it, okay, all right, got it.
Just let it lay, man.
Shout out to Mac, wrecking effect.
There's your wreck.
Hashtag Ear Biscuits.
Boy, I'm glad you're still here.
You know, it's like.
Boy.
There's so many points you could have left,
like talking about killing nieces.
You should have seen the original list.
Like when we were doing the research on this,
it was like, that was like some morbid stuff.
I was like, I can't take this.
And Rhett was like, no, that's the greatest.
I mean, the ones that we didn't talk about,
that ethical conundrums floating around on the internet.
Well, and you know what?
Downright nasty. If you want us to talk about some more,
there's a lot of these available.
There's a lot more to talk about.
We didn't get into some of the even grittier ones.
But I'm willing to go there.
Let us know.
Let us know if you wanna hear more about this.
Hashtag Ear Biscuits.
All right, we'll speak at you next week.