Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 202: What's It Like to Sleep on a Bus? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 202

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

"Don't leave me." A mysterious female voice awakens Link in a horrifying experience on the tour bus while Rhett encounters what some may consider sacrilege in the South. Listen to more of their tour a...dventures on this episode of Ear Biscuits! Sponsored by:Honey: Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/Ear. Honey — online savings, simplified. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This, this, this, this is Mythical. Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are exploring the question,
Starting point is 00:00:45 what's it like to sleep on a bus? And other stories from the road. Oh yeah, we've been on the road, y'all. We've been traveling around, doing shows, and lots of bunk, bus bunk time for introspection. I had a horrifying experience, which I'll share a little bit later. But I also had some really good experiences.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Well, share those as well. Changed my life as well as the life of my children. Yeah, so we've been on the road on tour and then I tacked some time in North Carolina at the end of my time and you came back here and had a staycation. So we'll get into talking about that a little bit but we do want to let you know that
Starting point is 00:01:29 while we are back temporarily, we are going back out on the road. Yes, we're gonna keep telling you about when we're gonna be on the road and you know what, you should go on the internets and look around at all the fun that we had on this last tour. We've got, there's definitely.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Well we're gonna talk to them about it. Well there's definitely photos though. Yeah there's photos out there. There's photo evidence of the things that we did and how much fun people had at the things that we were doing. Starting September 4th. September 4th, the next leg of the tour begins.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Houston, Texas, New Orleans, Birmingham, Jacksonville, Florida, Tampa, Florida. Then we go to Las Vegas, October 19th. November 20th, Albuquerque, New Mexico, then Phoenix, Arizona, Sacramento, California, and Valley Center, California. Go to Rhettandlinklive.com to get tickets. And to clarify something,
Starting point is 00:02:19 we talked about this on our Instagram, one of those Instagram videos that we did where we're eating tour food. But we met somebody on the road and we tend to meet people when we're in these cities and they tend to say things like, oh I didn't know you were in town. That's why we continued talking about the shows. But then we met someone who did know about the show
Starting point is 00:02:39 but she was like, I don't have $300. And we were like, what are you talking about $300? And I think what she was doing and I don't have $300. And we were like, what are you talking about $300? And I think what she was doing and what a lot of people are doing is if you just Google Rhett and Link concert tickets, well, some sponsored sites. I do that every day. Some sponsored sites
Starting point is 00:02:56 for where they're reselling tickets are gonna come up and you don't buy the tickets there. Go to rhettandlinklive.com to get the best prices on tickets. I think we got tickets starting at around $30 for these upcoming shows. So we're trying to make it as affordable as possible so that won't be an excuse.
Starting point is 00:03:15 If you don't know about it, maybe that's our fault but if you're paying a whole lot of money for your tickets, that might be your fault if you're going to the wrong place. The bus life was something that was interesting, which we'll talk about, but also the culinary lifestyle that we assumed while on tour was, I can't, I can't. Consequential. I can't decide if it was great or if it was horrible.
Starting point is 00:03:37 It was great. It was both. It was both. It was great and horrible. We had this idea and if you happen to catch an Instagram live, like, we're talking like an hour before our show, maybe a little bit more sometimes, we would sit down and we would eat what you, or at least those of you who voted
Starting point is 00:03:58 and responded to our Instagram post, we ate the two most popular signature dishes from this most signature restaurant at each city that we were in, according to you. We pitted them against each other. And it turns out that those signature dishes are not things like kale salads. No.
Starting point is 00:04:15 As you might imagine, they are things like you just increased the probability of you having a heart attack by at least 2%, like every time you eat something. It's that kind of meal. I think by a certain point in the tour, we were eating dishes that were just called cholesterol. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Like okay, we got a big styrofoam clamshell, open that thing up, oh look, it's just cholesterol. Well literally one of them was just fried cheese that you dip in ranch dressing. That was pretty great. And you know what, it was really good. That was in Milwaukee, that was the cheese curds. Yeah cheese curds.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Which incidentally, Milwaukee, Milwaukee won. Okay, Milwaukee won the food contest. Not only did they have the best dish according to me, I think they had the best two dishes according to me. Now I think you'd like some, and they also had the custard. I mean the custard, the hamburger, and the cheese curds. Milwaukee knows what they're doing when it comes to eating. Cheeseburger and custard were from cops.
Starting point is 00:05:16 And we would, I mean, once you start eating a cheeseburger and it's really good. Not just any cops though. A restaurant called Cops. K-O-P-P-S. We're not taking food from the police. Right, well you don't trust the police. No, that is not what. We gonna get civic on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:05:33 That is not what I intended to talk about. You're gonna have some civic controversy. We got that food from cops. He's like, what are you talking about from cops? Yeah. Now you're accepting food from the police. Well I tried to pronounce it. I tried to emphasize the K and the two Ps when I said it. Yeah and no one except your own brain saw that.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Right but I did see it. K-O-P-P-S. When you're eating a cheeseburger that's as good as that cheeseburger, you don't merely just taste the cheeseburger. You eat the whole cheeseburger. Yeah I couldn't. Even if you do have a whole clam shell
Starting point is 00:06:06 full of curds over here and then the whey to the custard is right next to it. See I made a curds and whey joke. Yeah and I saw you didn't even have to emphasize it. I knew that you were saying W-H-E-W. W-H-E-Y. W-H-E-W, woo! Now speaking of tasting, W-H-E-W, woo!
Starting point is 00:06:30 Now, speaking of tasting, I think I'm still tasting what I had yesterday as my last meal in North Carolina because the thing that you got to do is you got to come back to California and go back to a California diet and you probably feel clean and light and youthful. I, matter of fact, I ate a vegan dinner last night. Yeah, see. And I did not.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Boy, my farts. Well, let's not talk about your farts. We do that enough. I mean, I don't wanna talk about them except to say that like it ain't all peaches and cream on this side of the table. Okay, well, but your body will adjust. You had a week's worth of North Carolina hurt?
Starting point is 00:07:07 What I did is I did the tour eating and then I went to North Carolina and I was like, I'm still on vacation and I'm here in North Carolina and I just kept on eating that way and the meal that is currently in my stomach and I have actually felt it lurching. What? multiple times. Okay, you didn't kill it first?
Starting point is 00:07:29 I went, my final meal was Cookout. Oh my gosh. And let me tell you what I got. I love Cookout. And I don't even know if you know about this yet. I don't even wanna hear this. I don't know if you know about the, all the sides that are offered.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Okay so, in case you didn't know if you know about the, all the sides that are offered? Okay, so, in case you didn't know, Cookout is a fast food hamburger place in the South that has, what makes it unusual is not just the fact that it's good food, but the sides that you can get other than fries are basically just a ridiculous, there are no rules in the universe. Like, they've thrown all rules of what a side is to the side because I got, first of all, I didn't get a cheeseburger,
Starting point is 00:08:10 I got a barbecue sandwich because I was like, you know what, I've never had the barbecue sandwich from Cookout. I've never done that either. I've always gotten it from Smithfields and we had one meal left and I was like, I haven't had a barbecue sandwich yet. Locke and Shepherd had never been to Cookout.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Dang. I already knew you were a horrible parent. Could not remember the last time they went to Cookout. Because Locke would have been a lot younger. You hit him on the head every time you take him to Cookout? So I got a barbecue sandwich. Like Men in Black.
Starting point is 00:08:41 And then the side that I got, of course, one of the sides was a corn dog. Right. Because that's a side. Nuggets can be a side, did you get nuggets? No, the other side was a chicken quesadilla. But you just got three mains. But that's what makes it so crazy. They got chicken quesadilla,
Starting point is 00:09:00 they actually have enchiladas as sides too. Now you don't say that word right. Quesadilla? The other one. Enchilada? Yeah, it's not an inch, it's an inch, enchilada. It's an E, not an I. You can't be talking to people about ways
Starting point is 00:09:16 to pronounce words, man. Enchilada. Well, it's enchilada if you wanna get it. You say enchilada. Enchilada, enchilada. That ain't right. But go ahead, we know what you mean. Well then you should pinch me and tell me
Starting point is 00:09:30 that I'm saying it wrong. I'll pinch you. So, but I didn't get a, where I drew the line is I didn't get a milkshake, because they have over 40 different flavors of milkshakes, including one in July, a watermelon milkshake, watermelon shake that has pieces of watermelon in it that's only served between July and August.
Starting point is 00:09:50 It's crazy, it's crazy, it's crazy. And it's a small place. Have you ever looked through the window at them making all that stuff? There's like one person in there just spinning around. It's like a one. Like a cartoon. Well, I've seen multiple people, but there's only room for one person.
Starting point is 00:10:05 I saw one girl. I saw one girl. I think you saw six girls, but they were in the space of one girl. And do you know how some cookouts have like a table outside of them? Yeah. This cookout that was somewhere between the beach and RDU
Starting point is 00:10:20 that had nothing. It was just like, we do not expect you to stick around. So I just drove across the street to an abandoned parking lot, which there's so much of like a just a space, abandoned buildings in down east. There's just nothing there. There's nothing there between the beach and Raleigh.
Starting point is 00:10:40 There's nothing. I used to drive that every week to see my in-laws. So. It was a post-apocalyptic type of vibe to it. From time to time. Except for the cookout and the Bojangles. I'm tasting either a barbecue sandwich or a corn dog or a quesadilla in no particular order.
Starting point is 00:10:57 I can't believe they have enchiladas. I did not, I couldn't, I would have bet against that. Well, I'm not confirming that. Lance, we were with Lance and Lacey and Lance told me he may have meant quesadilla. Oh. Because when I got there I saw quesadilla and just got it. The menu's so big I didn't wanna then continue reading
Starting point is 00:11:14 to see if they had enchiladas as well. How was the barbecue sandwich? Solid, very good. Have sauce already on it? They asked me if I wanted slaw and Texas Pete on it. I said, well, who do you think I am? Texas Pete on it, huh? Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:30 I would've gotten it, but. It was very good. Steamed bun. Texas Pete is not a barbecue sauce. And do you know that, yeah, well, because it's got, well, you mean, does it already have like vinegar barbecue sauce? Yeah, it's got some sort of vinegar sauce in the meat.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Okay. Do you know Bojangles is also now serving a pulled pork sandwich, it's on the menu. I didn't get that. Really? And I'm sorry I had to throw somebody under the bus, just quickly let me do this. Atlantic Beach, on Atlantic Beach,
Starting point is 00:12:01 which is technically an outer bank, you know, Emerald Isle and Atlantic Beach, they're all on this island. Well, there's a Bojangles on that island. I was staying on that island for a few days. And I took Shepherd to Bojangles, I haven't been to Bojangles yet. I get to Bojangles at Atlantic Beach, I get in line,
Starting point is 00:12:19 and you know how they have like, the only place in the world that does the, Bojangles is the only place in the world that does the line where you gotta go around like you're getting ready to go on a ride. Like it switches back. Oh not in the car, you're talking about in the restaurant. In the restaurant, there's a switchback.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Yeah. And then you get up there and then you order and they say it into the microphone. It's awesome. Just wondering why they're still doing that. But. That's like an amusement park ride too, it's like, boggle up.
Starting point is 00:12:44 The first thing that threw me off is, I'll get in line and there's a murmur going through the line and it's that they're out of dirty rice, which I wanted dirty rice. I was gonna get dirty rice and beans, Cajun Pintos. I love the fact that made its way back through the line. They're out of dirty rice, what are we gonna do? Oh, they're out of dirty rice.
Starting point is 00:13:03 The roller coaster's broke. Should we leave, should we cross, should we go back to the mainland, should're out of dirty rice. What are we gonna do? Oh, they're out of dirty rice. The roller coaster's broke. Should we leave, should we cross, should we go back to the mainland, should we go to Morehead City? You know, those kinds of things are happening. And then I'm like, okay, well, I don't have to get dirty rice. 45 minutes later.
Starting point is 00:13:17 What? Is when I was receiving my food at the other, 45 minutes later. This place, I love Bojangles, but the one in Atlantic Beach is so mismanaged that it is a disgrace to the name of Bojangles. It is, because Locke and his cousins went and they also had to wait 45 minutes at a different time.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Different time? I realize that it's peak season. You sure you weren't going to Joe Bangangle's? There's 11 people in line. There were 11 people in line. And some of them were like three people together as a party. Like it wasn't 11 different groups. It was like four different groups, 45 minutes. Did you band together with those people
Starting point is 00:13:57 and like set up the tent? Oh I'm not done. They're out of dirty rice. I get up there, I order. They're still out of dirty rice at that point and I didn't even ask for it. They're out of honey mustard. God, I tell you man, post-apocalyptic. Then we get our tea, of course we got sweet tea.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Jessie wanted, she said bring me back an unsweetened tea and then Shepherd and I were like we're gonna get sweet tea because we're here. When in Rome. We sit down and Shepherd's like I think I got mom's tea and then he says, let me taste and he tasted and he says no and then he takes mine and says, dad, these are all unsweet.
Starting point is 00:14:29 And I was like, Shepherd, this is just your 10 year old palate. You know, let me taste them. They're all unsweet. I go back up and I say, sorry, dude, you put unsweet tea in these sweet teas. He said, okay. 45 minutes later.
Starting point is 00:14:41 That happened in about seven minutes. It wasn't too long. Okay. He fills them back up. We go back down and Shepherd says, dad, they're still unsweet. It wasn't too long. Okay. He fills them back up, we go back down, and Shepherd says, Dad, they're still unsweet. I taste them, he's right. They have not put any sugar in the sweet tea.
Starting point is 00:14:52 I begin to see people who've already waited 45 minutes for their meal getting up and looking at their tea. There's an old man walking by, he's like talking to himself. I was like, the tea's not sweet, is it? He was so, he didn't even hear me. He was like, he goes up, he gets his tea, and then there's a woman by there, she's like, y'all, the tea's not sweet is it? He was so, he didn't even hear me. He was like. He goes up, he gets his tea, and then there's a woman back there, she's like y'all the tea's not sweet.
Starting point is 00:15:09 This is bad. I mean, this is like the. They forgot to put sugar in the tea. This is the start of a riot in North Carolina. There's a Bojangles representative listening. Send help to the one in Atlantic Beach, man. Because I'm not gonna go to it anymore. It's like, I don't wanna ruin, the food is so good.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I mean when Bojangles runs out of dirty rice. Honey mustard, you need to airdrop some supplies. And I believe. Airdrop a manager in there. I believe that it might be actual sacrilege to serve sweet tea that's not sweet. I think those people might go to hell. Me too.
Starting point is 00:15:46 I think that might be an unforgivable sin. Right, especially when they're like, no, but this one is. And if you do it twice, yes, yes, you go to the third level of hell. Sorry for that little rant, I didn't expect to do that, but I was really upset. Very upset. I would be afraid.
Starting point is 00:16:07 I mean, with those things happening at a Bojangles, I would literally, I would be like, "'Kids, we gotta get out of here "'cause something bad's gonna happen." Like someone is gonna get too upset and it's gonna be like, they're gonna be ripping like paper bags and I don't know, throwing tenders. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Well they don't call them tenders. They call them Supremes. Supremes. They also have home style tenders. Yeah they're not hot. They don't have the spice in them. For the children. Yeah I saw a full grown man order those.
Starting point is 00:16:36 For the weak. I shook my head at that guy. For the weak men and children. Because it's not that hot. Oh man so you're hurting. I feel good now that I got that out though. You got that cookout in you. I got this, man, it was like,
Starting point is 00:16:53 it was beets and yams and they had this thing, they had a thing called barbecue and it was a- They had a thing called barbecue. It was made out of mushrooms. Where was this at? Cafe Gratitude. Oh, that place. We talked about this place.
Starting point is 00:17:09 And when you order off the menu, it's adjectives like whole and complete and serene. And when you order, you're supposed to order. So a hole with a W or just H-O-L-E? Put this in your hole. We're having a real homonym of an episode here, aren't we? Well, sometimes, man. Sometimes, you gotta clarify.
Starting point is 00:17:30 There were no cops there. It was, what was I saying again? Hole. Yeah, when you order, you say, I am devoted. Yeah. And then you get a dish called devoted. I have trouble with that system, but I appreciate it. I did it.
Starting point is 00:17:46 I appreciate what it's trying to do. Trying to give you gas. And I'm not talking about like- And it's exceeding. It's not the volume, it's the flavor. Oh gosh. It's the snit, snit, snit. All right, I mean we got more to talk about
Starting point is 00:18:04 in terms of our tour. So let's switch gears to going back to the tour. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder? That took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is...
Starting point is 00:18:33 Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show. With the best celebrity guests. And hot takes galore.
Starting point is 00:18:47 So join us every Friday, wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. But first, before we get back into the story, we do wanna let you know that this is the next to last Ear Biscuits before we're taking a short summer break. We're taking a three week break. Am I right, Kiko? Three weeks without Ear Biscuits before we're taking a short summer break. We're taking a three week break, am I right, Kiko?
Starting point is 00:19:07 Three weeks without Ear Biscuits. Find another podcast, no don't find another podcast, listen to old Ear Biscuits. Do that in the three weeks that we're not here. Don't get hooked on anybody else now. And then we'll be back with more. So next to last, we got one more next week and then a three week break and we'll be back.
Starting point is 00:19:23 I'll quickly go through the rhythm of tour, you know, because I think it can be romanticized and there's many ways to do it. I mean, we're spoiling a number of fronts. First of all, I just wanna brag about everybody who came out to this leg of the tour and saw us. You guys were super supportive and welcoming. And I'm always fascinated and we're so analytical
Starting point is 00:19:51 when it comes to anything we create or anytime we perform, like the moment we're done putting something out into the world or we come backstage after something, we're immediately assessing how well it went. And it never fails to surprise me how different audiences are different. Well, how all audiences are a little bit different. The things that as a whole that resonate with them.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Some audiences are really, they like to cheer. Some audiences like to laugh. Some audiences do both. Some like to talk. Some like to talk to us and I think we, there are cues that we give that welcome that and sometimes at the start of a show, we kinda, we're a little more open than other times
Starting point is 00:20:36 and we made it a point to try a few new songs and the banter in between, like we, that's our moment to see if we can create something new every single time, give or take. You know, we talked about how when comedians or musicians tour, a lot of times they have to win over the audience and we never have to do that because the people who show up are dedicated mythical beasts
Starting point is 00:20:59 so there's this comfort level and so like I said, we're spoiled on that front. We also have a bus that we travel in. Now when the bus goes a really long distance in between shows, we do fly but we finally realized, for most of the Tour of Mythicality we didn't do this but we started to realize towards the end that, hey, we can sleep on the bus, this can actually be fun,
Starting point is 00:21:24 this might be the best part of the whole thing. Maybe not for a six seven young man. Well considering that the bunks are six six. Yeah. In length. But we are spoiled to have a bus that has sleeping bunks and then it pulls a trailer with merch and stuff behind it and so us and the crew, we basically traveled
Starting point is 00:21:46 on the bus the whole time. I also brought my kids Lily and Lincoln along with us on this leg of the tour. But just having a bus like that and not having to sleep in a van or out of a crappy hotel or something, we were spoiled. And I don't know if this is necessarily the case with like a band that would be going around.
Starting point is 00:22:09 I mean, I guess they do stop somewhere to shower, but we do. You got that corn dog crust coming up. We do also, so basically, as soon as the show's over, well, we have our meet and greet. We usually don't get out of a town and start, you know, the bus doesn't start rolling until after midnight, maybe 1230.
Starting point is 00:22:30 And then we roll into the next town, most of us go to sleep immediately or within an hour or so, and then you don't set an alarm or anything, you just wake up. Well you said we roll into town and then most of us go to sleep. No, once the bus starts moving, we go to sleep
Starting point is 00:22:47 and then it's driving to the place. Oh, we roll out of town. Roll out of town, yes. Yeah, so like an hour after we leave, everybody's pretty much asleep. And so then, you don't set an alarm, you just wake up at some, you know, you go to bed that late, if you're going to bed at 1, 1.30,
Starting point is 00:23:04 you know, most people are gonna wake up at 9, you know, you go to bed that late, if you're going to bed at 1, 1.30, you know, most people are gonna wake up at 9, 10. I'm gonna wake up at 10 or 11. And then we wake. And realize the bus is no longer moving and that everyone has vacated the bus except for me and my children. Usually the Neils are the last off the bus.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I was the last off the bus one time, but most of the time you guys are, I get up and I see all your shoes are still there. I'm like, oh, they're still here. But then there's Gary, our tour manager, has created basically a map, or like a very simple set of directions for like, this is how you get to the hotel.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Here's your hotel key, you do have a hotel, because you're gonna go there and basically shower, and we would just basically shower, and then. We'd have a couple of because you're gonna go there and basically shower, and we would just basically shower, and then- We'd have a couple of hours to do something. Go out and eat lunch and then maybe walk around, or if there's scooters, we would scoot around town for a couple of hours before we had to get back
Starting point is 00:23:59 for sound check and signing posters for the meet and greet and all that. I'll tell you, Denver's a good place to scooter. Very good. They got this river there, Denver's a good place to scooter. Very good. They got this river there, it's like got rapids all in it and then there's like, it's fancy, all the paths they got around this river. Yeah, that was, I'd say Denver was the scooter,
Starting point is 00:24:16 scooting highlight. Yeah. Scooting capital of the world, you might say. Scooter low light was probably. Omaha? Omaha, I would say. I mean, more for Britain than for us because, man, he took a tumble.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Well, and I saw the whole thing in slow motion. Now let me just say that right before Britain had his incident on the scooter. He hit a hole. I was thinking about, we were in Omaha and there's also a giant river, is it the Missouri River, is that what that was? Yeah. Coming through Omaha and we're going all around
Starting point is 00:24:50 and scooting up and down these paths and there's this little park next to the ConAgra campus there and we're going around this pond and I was thinking after we'd been out for like an hour and a half, I was like, kinda surprised that no one has fallen yet. And I actually in my mind was like, kind of surprised that like one of the kids,
Starting point is 00:25:09 and when I say one of the kids, I kind of throw Britton. Britton is more a kid than he, He's 19. We could be his dad, right? I mean, he's only five years older than Lincoln. And I was like, I'm surprised that one of them hasn't fallen on these scooters yet. And literally three minutes later, You voodooed him. I'm going, I of them hasn't fallen on these scooters yet. And literally three minutes later,
Starting point is 00:25:26 You voodooed him. I'm going, I didn't say anything. Did you stab a doll? I'm going over this bridge in this park, this sort of arched bridge, and we get to the, and Britton's in front of me, and it was just this change in the surface, this little bump, sometimes all it takes is a little bump.
Starting point is 00:25:43 It was a hole, because I hit it too. Yeah, it was a drop off. It was a drop off and then a bump on the other side because it was like this depressed area of like bricks. And he hit it and I saw him begin to lose control and then he over corrected and then he came back then he over corrected again and then he flew off of the scooter at full speed and did a pretty athletic move to like fall down
Starting point is 00:26:06 and roll into a back flip and then land in the grass. But I could see on his face immediately that he was shaken. All I could see as I was coming over the bridge horizon were his feet in the air. Oh, so you saw that? Yeah, and then he was rolling. Tore up his elbow in one of his hands and it's like, hold on man, those are your money makers.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Right. You're a guitarist. And he had a show, I mean we had a show, well he had a show the next night. Right, because we didn't have a show that night. Now thankfully Jenna, who is here, was also there at the time because Link and I just proceeded to laugh and make fun of Brandon. As he just sat there in shock.
Starting point is 00:26:51 We knew he wasn't dead. He wasn't really hurt. He wasn't actively bleeding, there wasn't anything broken. He was actively bleeding. He was actively bleeding. In fact, he got blood all over his pants. He was shaking, he got a little pale. He was a little bit in shock,
Starting point is 00:27:04 but we knew that he wasn't permanently injured, so we laughed. And that's what guys do, man. And then Jenna came in and was thinking straight and strategically. What was that magic fluid you started pouring on his? On his arm. Like contact solution or something.
Starting point is 00:27:25 I had my water bottle. It was just water. Oh, it was just water. She used her, now she sacrificed her glasses. Glasses cleaner. Her glasses cloth. Glasses cleaner, yeah. Oh, it was the cloth. And that's what. I thought the water, when you said I'm gonna use my glasses cleaner,
Starting point is 00:27:39 I thought all of that liquid, up until this moment, I thought she was pouring glasses cleaner all over his arm, I was like, hmm, that's like MacGyver. But that's also poison. It's, I thought it was alcohol. No, I think that, I think that like. Which is why I was just sitting on the side laughing. Because who am I to, I could, who knows what I would've
Starting point is 00:27:58 poured in his wound. Right. Hey, let me pee on it, man, I think when you get stung by some asphalt, you gotta pee on it. Yeah, just like a jellyfish. I probably could've convinced him, that would've been funny. Jenna took care of him and we did all scoot back to a place where we could drop the scooters off because we were outside of the scooter offloading area.
Starting point is 00:28:19 The app would not accept us to just stop where we were. But he ended up being okay. He looked kinda cool playing the next night with a large bandage around his elbow. He got some sympathy points or whatever. But anyway, in terms of the schedule, yeah, we typically do something for a couple hours. Usually no one would get hurt.
Starting point is 00:28:36 And then we'd show up at the venue, we'd do a sound check, we'd sign posters for the meet and greet, and then we'd just sit backstage, we'd eat our food, and so it ended up being like three hours of just kinda sitting around backstage and then doing the show and the whole thing starts over. But you would really get into the rhythm of like, I can't wait to get back to the bus.
Starting point is 00:28:59 And I know that was Lily's favorite part. There's something about climbing on this bus and like at some points the bunks were three high and at some points they were two high. When they're three high, you cannot sit up in your bunk. You just gotta roll in and roll out like a log roll. But we got the two, they gave me and you the two high. Yeah and some of the crew.
Starting point is 00:29:22 But the youngsters got the three high. And there is something like cozy, it's like a cozy hideout. And you lay down in the thing and then you pull your curtain closed and you Velcro it and then you can take your pants off. Take whatever you got on off if you want to. I wasn't naked in here.
Starting point is 00:29:42 I had the really comfortable pants though that I left on. It's almost like a blanket in and of itself. There's a little light in there and then you can set up your earphones and you can listen to some, like a playlist to help you sleep. Or you can just go to sleep to the murmur
Starting point is 00:29:58 and the rustle of the bus. And that was a lot of fun. But I started playing, well every night I would go to sleep with, I downloaded this playlist on Spotify called Deep Sleep. And I would listen to that thing. And it was like eight or nine hours of just ambient sleep inducing
Starting point is 00:30:25 and then some pianos over top of that. just ambient sleep inducing and then some pianos over top of that. What headphones are you employing for this? My Bose noise canceling in-ear headphones, not a sponsor. Right, because you can't use the AirPods because they would run out eventually. I actually did use AirPods sometime and they would just fall out of my ears and then I'd wake up in the middle of the night
Starting point is 00:30:43 searching for an AirPod because I'd be too anxious that I'd lost it forever. So does this preclude you from sleeping on your side? I would roll all over and sometimes the whole cord would just tangle around my waist like a belt. But what about ear pain when you, I'm an exclusive side sleeper. I'm a back sleeper but I did sleep on my side some
Starting point is 00:31:02 and there is inner ear pain where it like, you're smooshing it in. That's why I can't listen to things in the ears. That's not the worst thing about it though. But I will tell you what is. And that's when you're listening to an eight hour playlist of just instrumental ambient music, which is great to like, send you into a deep stupor.
Starting point is 00:31:21 But you only do this on while traveling, you don't do this at home. I do not. And I'm laying there sleeping and then all of a sudden, a woman says to me, don't leave me. And I woke up terrified. And I like look around, there's no woman.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Right. There's nobody talking on this deep sleep playlist, much less singing, this is instrumental. And I'm like, I dreamt that a woman said, don't leave me. I went back to sleep. Was it Christy's voice? But I was kinda, it was more dramatic than that. It was a dramatic Christy?
Starting point is 00:32:06 It was a dramatic, I don't know, it was a lot of need in it. It was very disconcerting and I don't remember dreaming anything but I was able to go back to sleep and then I went deep again. Nothing. Wake up next day, fine.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Fast forward to the next night, same routine, I go to sleep, I've been asleep for a few hours. And then all of a sudden, the woman, don't leave me, she returned. And this time I woke up and I'm like, okay, I know, is there a ghost in here? I don't know what's going on. And I'm like, okay, I know, is there a ghost in here? I don't know what's going on. And I'm like, it's the freaking playlist.
Starting point is 00:32:48 In the middle of a nine hour playlist that's just instrumental, there is one sound snippet in the middle of a song where a woman says, don't leave me. And that is terrifying. It's a... Spotify, you gotta remove that from the playlist. And matter of fact, I found it.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Because the third time I was like, you know what, when this happens, I'm gonna take a screenshot and I'm gonna remember so I can remember where this is. It's just an Easter egg, man. It's an Easter egg that people who commit fully to the playlist experience. Alana Johnson, breathing star.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Yeah, it's Alana. All right, I'm gonna play this for you. Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me. I like to feel needed and wanted. Not when you're in a deep sleep, man. It's like, do I have to, what? I'm not leaving you, girl. I'm laying here asleep.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Don't leave me, don't leave me. It freaked me out, man. Don't leave me. So then I told the people at the show that night and then there was a good runner about don't leave me. Yeah, it really worked, it did. That's the type of stuff you live for, you know? Getting scared, crap scared.
Starting point is 00:33:58 What I was thinking was gonna happen is the music was gonna drop out completely and someone was gonna say, don't leave me. And then it was gonna come back in. Cause that would wake me up for sure. So that was a low light, but I would say a highlight of the tour besides, again, like I said, we're so spoiled by the,
Starting point is 00:34:17 it was just a great audience reception and it was great to connect with so many mythical beasts and to get even more of an idea of what makes them tick and what makes them laugh, you know? Yeah. It turned out to be very special for me because Lily and Lincoln were there.
Starting point is 00:34:36 I didn't think Lily was gonna be able to come but then the fact that they both were able to come. Now, I mean, we should say that Locke was gonna come but then because of. He had like five basketball games in that 11 day period so it would have been. He would have left his boys hanging. Yeah he couldn't do it.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Yeah. But he was obviously invited and there was a chance he may come and then hopefully in the future he'll be able to do something like that because it was so special for me and my kids. And of course, Lando's too young, Shepherd's probably too young
Starting point is 00:35:08 because they need to be supervised more closely. They had to fend for themselves. The kids had to fend for themselves. But you know, I realized that it was such a sweet and special time for me and Lily and Lincoln afterward when I started to reflect on the fact that really the only time that we spend that much time together, like every waking hour for 10 days straight,
Starting point is 00:35:32 the only time we do that is like if we go on a family vacation, you know? And a family vacation is a totally different vibe than being on tour because everybody's in a different mode when vacation is happening. But when we were on tour, it's like we're in tour mode. So like we're working and we're doing things and I think they kind of rose to the challenge,
Starting point is 00:35:54 I wouldn't call it a challenge, but they kind of rose to the occasion of hey, we're part of the crew, you know, they rolled some posters and they would hand them out at the meet and greets. They didn't roll posters every night, sorry Jenna. But you know, they felt, they were treated as equals. You know, and I could definitely see that in their takeaway
Starting point is 00:36:14 as they like reported back to Christy and Lando when we got back home how much they enjoyed it and they talked about tour life. I was hopeful but I didn't wanna be too hopeful. You know me, I think of this, oh when they get back, they're gonna have this perfect idea of what tour was and it's gonna be the most influential thing in their entire lives.
Starting point is 00:36:33 So I didn't wanna go into full dad link mode with my expectations. But I was, so I was pleasantly surprised that it meant so much to them. And they said they had a great time. And I think it's just spending that amount of time together, you really get to, again, when you're not in vacation mode, it was a great opportunity for us to get to know each other
Starting point is 00:36:58 because I was able to observe them interacting with the other members of the crew and like, okay, when do they choose to pipe up and what do they choose to say and what are their perspectives on things? It's something that I don't have the benefit of that often and I actually thought about, I got a little jealous of Christy over the years
Starting point is 00:37:14 who as difficult and demanding as it was for her to homeschool the kids for all those years, they've been a public school for, this is their third year now, but and the same with Jessie, it's like, I got to see a little bit of a side of them that I think Christy and I'm guessing Jessie got to see of our kids that we don't get to see as much
Starting point is 00:37:36 when it's not like you're constantly with them, you know? And then at the end of 11 days, you don't, then you're good. You don't have to do it anymore. Yeah, right, like they're good. But you know, it just turned out to be a very special time. And you know what, they said that they enjoy getting to know you more in kind of a work mode.
Starting point is 00:37:54 They, unprompted, they were like, you know what, I actually have a different view of Rhett. And I'm like, and I told him about my vacation theory and I extended, I was like, yeah, a lot of times when you see Rhett, it's like, it's in family or if we do vacations together, it's in that type of mode. And it was just like, the thing that, I think it was Lincoln who said, it was like,
Starting point is 00:38:14 maybe it was Lily. She was like, you know what, you guys, I thought it was cool to get to see you guys actually enjoy hanging out with each other. I was like, well, have you ever watched our show? But I think she knows that that's a show. But it's not a show, I think is what she said. It's like, I enjoyed you guys enjoying each other.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Well I think, I didn't know what I thought about, my first thought when they were gonna go, I was like, oh no, we're gonna have to worry about them and not be able to get into places because they're too young and et cetera, et cetera. But my thought was. You talking about strip clubs again? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:52 My thought. I've never been in a strip club, just for the record, that was a joke. My thought was. No judgment if you have, hey listen, let's change the subject. Why are you talking about strip clubs? I didn't say it, Didn't say anything about that.
Starting point is 00:39:06 I was talking about bars, you know, where 18 and up or 21 and up, you know, there's some establishments where children are not allowed. Right. Right. So, but I actually think that having, and I think that Britain also contributed to this as well. Yeah. Having younger people there,
Starting point is 00:39:27 like definitely significantly changes the dynamic. Because we have a tendency to just be in work mode, like all the time. Now sure, oh let's go get on these scooters and you know, run around, like we would do, if it was just me and you, and it has been just me and you and gone out and just scooted around or whatever, but I think that something about having kids there,
Starting point is 00:39:50 it lightens the atmosphere a little bit. It's not that we don't know how to have fun with each other, it's just that we have so many things going on that there's any moment we could stop and start talking about some work- know, work related thing or some project and even if it's a creative thing, we'll do it in a very serious manner. And so I think that they actually kind of like
Starting point is 00:40:14 changed the dynamic, the group dynamic and you know, just being kids, just being silly. Yeah and kind of having this vibe of wanting them to have a good time. So electing to do more them to have a good time, so electing to do more things to have a good time versus just, maybe I'll just sit in the hotel or let's talk about work. And I do wanna say I really do appreciate the way
Starting point is 00:40:34 that you included them and it was unfortunate but totally understandable that Locke wasn't able to come but the fact that you were able to extend yourself to include them as much as you did, they, without me asking, they noticed and I really appreciated that too. I thought that was very gracious and yeah, I think fun was had by everyone
Starting point is 00:40:58 except for maybe Britton's elbow. And I think it's cool just in conclusion that, you know, a lot of people ask us, what do your kids think about what you do? And it was just, it meant a lot to me that they thought it was fun and cool to be a part of something their dad was doing. You know? There weren't any eye rolls.
Starting point is 00:41:22 It was like, hey, this is cool. Yeah, I do want, and if Locke can't go in the next couple years or whatever, then hopefully Shepard will be able to. I do want them to be able to experience it because, yeah, it's like, there's a different feel than just saying, oh, I'm gonna come on set when you have a guest that I'm interested in or something like that.
Starting point is 00:41:46 There's a, it's a different thing, you know. I'm glad that we had the opportunity to give them that gift and I know, I believe that they'll remember that trip forever and that's what I hoped for, so. That was my highlight. But I wanna hear about your vacation too because we haven't had a chance to talk. Yeah, so we got through with the tour.
Starting point is 00:42:08 I flew directly from Minneapolis to the beach in North Carolina to spend time with my wife's family, her parents and her sister and husband and kids. And we were going to spend a couple days in one location and a couple days, in a few days in another location. So you may, if you followed me on Instagram, shout out to RedMC on Instagram,
Starting point is 00:42:36 very dynamic Instagram account from time to time, you may have seen my, what went down on the day of July 4th, I don't know if you saw any of this. The only thing I saw was you looking for horses, which you can leave for Instagram. After that I was like, okay. Oh, you missed, you missed,
Starting point is 00:42:58 well that was just the warmup story. You didn't see the fireworks show? Uh-uh. Brother. Okay, so I've talked about this before. I've talked about how my father-in-law used to like get fireworks, like together, he would produce the show, i.e. he would finance the show
Starting point is 00:43:19 and then I would go down to- He would executive produce. I would go down to South Carolina and buy the fireworks and then spend all day wiring them together with extra fuses and stuff and creating as crazy of an amateur fireworks show as you can get away with, right?
Starting point is 00:43:39 Illegally in North Carolina. Well, it's illegal in the sense that going 62 in a 55 is or 64 in a 55 is, because. Okay. No. Okay. On July 4th. They turn a blind eye.
Starting point is 00:43:52 They turn a blind eye. In fact, I've had the cops, and when I say cops in this setting, I mean COPS, drive by while I was in the process of lighting a crap ton of fireworks, you know, lighting them. And they just kinda like nod at you, it's like, yeah, oh, it's 4th of July. So, uh.
Starting point is 00:44:11 You're American, I'm American. Oh man, I'll have to show you, I've still got video of some of it. Because we were renting one of my, well, we were staying at one of my father-in-law's houses that he's got down there. They have like a, you know, property companyin-law's houses that he's got down there. They have like a property company that's got different houses that you can rent.
Starting point is 00:44:27 So we kind of like reserved one of them. And it was one that was on the sound that had a very long dock that went out into the sound. I was like, this is perfect. We're gonna take all the fireworks out onto the dock and light them. Oh no. But I was like, I'm not gonna take all day
Starting point is 00:44:44 to get the extra fuse. I was like, I'm not gonna take all day to get the extra fuse. I was like, just get me a powerful lighter that is a windproof like torch kind of lighter and then we'll just figure it out in the moment. Just take some stuff out there and light it and then string some stuff together. You're not used to all that prep anymore. You don't work hard anymore.
Starting point is 00:45:01 And also I had Locke and then his two teenage cousins and then my brother-in-law. So we had a lot of help to like get the things out on the dock and first of all, I don't remember exactly how much money we spent on fireworks 10 years ago, which is the last time I did this but my father-in-law went a little bit nuts with the amount of stuff that he bought.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Like he sent one of his employees down to South Carolina and the guy came back and he had like a twin cab or like quad cab truck or whatever and like the whole back seat was just stacked to the ceiling with fireworks. Like this guy had been in an accident and there was a little spark. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:45:42 He would have like created a crater. He a smoker? No, not a smoker, he wasn't a smoker on that day. But anyway, we set these things off and the cool thing about setting the fireworks off in the sound is you've got all these people watching from, of course we've got my family that's up there on the deck watching from the house and then you got everyone else
Starting point is 00:46:04 that just come out to the back of their houses along the sound, on both sides, to watch all the fireworks happening. Oh. Did you warn them? No, no, by about the second round of lighting a couple of these, they basically come in these boxes of fireworks that have, it's just a box with a fuse on it,
Starting point is 00:46:22 and it has got a bunch of mortars like built into it. Sometimes it's 10 shots, sometimes it's 40 shots, right? Anywhere in between and basically it's its own little show. Yeah. We had like 50 of these things. So there were times where we were lining up like six and twisting two fuses together and three of us would light them at the same time and then run.
Starting point is 00:46:43 And by the time we did like the second round of these things, we had an audience. Like people can tell when you've gotten through with a little bit, one round, right? It's like last firework goes off and then it gets quiet and then all of a sudden all these people from wider and wider radius would go, woo-hoo-hoo!
Starting point is 00:47:04 Woo! And then we just, we had an audience. That sounded like a rebel yell. And now, and then there's other people doing fireworks at other houses, but then by about the fourth, or first of all, there were like 15 rounds that we did, but by like the third or fourth round, one guy yells out,
Starting point is 00:47:24 you win! It's funny. And I was like that's all I needed to hear. It's funny, yeah, that is what, that's specifically what you were after, right? You win. Not that's awesome, like he said exactly what you wanted to hear.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Well no, I told my father-in-law, I was like, when the guy said all the things, I was like, we are going to have the best fireworks show. We're gonna win fireworks, boys. In this area. You know, non-professional, that is. Yeah, it's funny you talk about the woos because last year, we were watching fireworks
Starting point is 00:47:59 and from our house, like from our bedroom deck, we just happened to to through some trees, see the fireworks display of the local high school. And I'm like, we realized it, we ran upstairs and we started, this year the kids watched them, but we were hanging out downstairs with some friends and we didn't, you seen one firework, you seen them all. I'm sorry that that's my attitude, but last year,
Starting point is 00:48:24 Yeah, you hadn't seen my pictures. We were so elated because fireworks started going off and it was me and Christy and the kids up there and all of a sudden behind me, I just hear, woo! And I turn around and Christy's like, what? I'm from Kingston, man. Yeah, I'm like, and that's almost down to the beach
Starting point is 00:48:44 where you were, is where she grew up. And it's like, that. Yeah, I'm like, and that's almost down to the beach where you were, is where she grew up. And it's like, that's a, I mean, that's just an instinctive southern thing. When you see something on fire in the sky, woo! Yeah, well here's the thing. It's, this is, the reason it's, not only is it better than a professional show because you're the one in control of it,
Starting point is 00:49:04 but like you're so close to it. Let me, let me. So unsafe. I'm gonna show, this is Locke filming us lighting one of the rounds here. Okay. This is all on Instagram but. Good gracious.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Oh my word. He's filming. He's filming. Or the wrong part of it. He's filming. He's filming the wrong part of it. He's filming the gazebo. I critiqued him. I'll show you when I filmed it. Even when he films the fireworks, he's filming just below the fire.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Look at that. Whoa. Is the pier catching on fire? Well, we'll get to that in a second. Oh, what? And I'll show you one that I filmed. This is, now, you can see a flame down there, right? You see that flame?
Starting point is 00:49:55 Yeah. What is that flame? Well, it's one of the things, I didn't put this on Instagram because I was a little embarrassed about this. The zooming is a bit nauseating. That's a lot. Now, because I was a little embarrassed about this. The zooming is a bit nauseating. That's a lot. Now, when I filmed, ran back,
Starting point is 00:50:09 got Isaiah a bunch of rednecks out there with their shirts off. Oh my goodness. And I'll show you. That's one set? Oh my gosh. These are huge. That's huge.
Starting point is 00:50:24 These are massive. You've huge. These are massive. You've never seen this before. You've never been present for one of these. Uh-uh. I mean like, it's a legit firework show. You thought I was talking like little bottle rockets? I didn't know it was that big. No, no, and listen, you're right next to it.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Like it's, in fact, we did, we had five. You getting sprayed? We had five left over and we took them to the other beach house house which is up on the intercoastal waterway like up on the Neuse River. Okay. And there's another dock. We take it out on that and I lit like six that night.
Starting point is 00:50:52 This is Saturday night so July 7th, I guess. Just a couple nights ago. And technically I think they're illegal by that point. Oh yeah, they're not turning a blind eye. But we had more. You're like going out on a dock so as to. For the view. Oh, you're not doing that so if it catches on fire,
Starting point is 00:51:10 the whole dock will just burn into the water and then it's safe? Well, it does, that does help. Because I'll get back to how he had to handle that fire in a second. There was one where the wind was coming back towards us and they don't always go as high as they should. And when there's one that blew up
Starting point is 00:51:27 and then it blows up into a bunch of different pieces and then it blows up again in smaller explosions, I swear there was one that happened where the second small explosion, I'm the one closest to the action because I light it and then I kinda go down the stairs because this dock had like two levels and then I'm kinda watching it.
Starting point is 00:51:41 One came, I swear that I was getting hit with the little sparks. It's not safe. As I said on my Instagram, I gave a, my wife made me do a disclaimer. Jessie was like, you need to do a disclaimer so people don't do this and I said, my wife wants me to give you a disclaimer.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Do not do this unless you're a redneck. Is what I said. As cool as this looks and as much fun as I'm having. You will hurt yourself if you're not a redneck. But so, fire time. So Jessie, first of all, she says, do you have a fire extinguisher? Right before we're getting ready to do this.
Starting point is 00:52:16 And I'm like, no. And I was like, we're doing it over the water. And she's like, you need to have a fire extinguisher. And I was like, okay. So they had the water. She's like, you need to have a fire extinguisher. And I was like, okay. So they had one at this house underneath the sink. And what happens after these things go off, as you can see, it's so hot that sometimes they just end up catching fire after all the stuff's gone.
Starting point is 00:52:39 And so I'm looking at that and me and Chris are trying to figure out what to do. So we ran and got the fire extinguisher but they basically expended, it was one of the fire extinguishers like we used in the T-shirt war where it was the powder. Oh. And it runs out real fast
Starting point is 00:52:54 and then we had more fires happening. So then we had to send the boys, the fire brigade to the house to get buckets and we took sound water and started throwing it all over the fireworks. And I will say that one of them was on fire before the water got there and had to throw it into the water.
Starting point is 00:53:09 But we did get Isaiah to go retrieve it. He had to go to the next dock. The damp. Yeah. Trash. Yeah, so everything's good. Still good. We still good? Yeah, we're still good.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Man, you make me nervous. No, and I- That's why I'm not there. I understand that- We can't both be there. I do understand that it's not responsible. Somebody's gotta carry on. It's not responsible. One of these rednecks has gotta carry on.
Starting point is 00:53:36 But you know what? You gotta have a little fun every once in a while, man. You gotta celebrate. But it was so hot. I mean, I forget how hot it is. We'll find out next week. Harder than the Fourth of July. We'll be back in North Carolina for something
Starting point is 00:53:53 that we'll tell you about that's novel related. But we're going out there next week. That's right. It's unbelievably hot. I walked outside, my frickin' sunglasses fogged up. Like I actually don't remember that happening growing up in North Carolina. I walked outside, they just fogged up completely
Starting point is 00:54:10 because I was going from AC. Your face, your California face gets hotter. Is it adjusted? No, it's not adjusted. So when you go back to North Carolina, your California face just, it's like, oh my gosh, my face is so hot, I gotta get rid of it, and it pushes it onto the glasses and they fog up.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Oh, that's very scientific. But if you live there all the time, it's like, oh, you learn how to not fog up your glasses. And it rained. Your face learns that. It rained every day. But it didn't help. You didn't care because you were already wet.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Like you cannot, you just go outside and you're wet. I mean you immediately start sweating from everywhere. That's why you said a bunch of rednecks not having shirts on, but you very quickly learn I might as well not have a shirt on. You might as well be naked because any clothes that you have just immediately stick to you. Like I put jeans on to get back on the plane
Starting point is 00:55:03 coming back yesterday and I just had jeans on to basically walk to my car and I was like, I remember now why we always wore shorts. Like we were, me and you would go to work in shorts. I remember there was a point. I actually remember. Shorts and flip flops. I remember when we were filming the documentary
Starting point is 00:55:23 looking for Ms. Locklear, we had a conversation. We wore jeans because we didn't want to look like a couple of nimrods walking around in shorts. But we were so hot. We were so hot. That was the first time we made a conscious choice to only wear pants. Did you feel like a dumbass?
Starting point is 00:55:38 Wearing shorts a little bit. But I adjusted quickly, man. Yeah, you shouldn't feel that way, but we do. No, no. Something about shorts just makes you seem like. And I don't, I do not. What does it make you seem like? A bare legged man.
Starting point is 00:55:55 I don't know. But if they're pleated and you can tuck your shirt into it, then you're back. That's not the kind that I had. You're in total, you're just da-dad. It gets so hot, it gets super hot in California as well. It gets to be, it'll be like 110 towards the end of the summer here.
Starting point is 00:56:10 But it's never so hot that you actually feel like, I gotta get into shorts. It really doesn't, it's because the humidity is so different. Do you feel like there is a way for you to feel cool, and I don't mean temperaturewise, I mean like trendy. In shorts? In shorts. I don't see an option.
Starting point is 00:56:30 I think for us. That's a good question. I just don't think we can pull off shorts. I think there are shorts out there that are trendy shorts, I just don't have them. And I don't know what constitutes a trendy short. I think they're a little bit shorter than those shorts that I wear, probably. Got more interesting patterns.
Starting point is 00:56:50 A little shorter. And I think you gotta have like a tank top on and maybe a visor. None of those things can you pull off. I don't think, I can't either. Yeah, well, we should try. I think I can pull off shorts. Well, I think I can pull off shorts. Well, I think I can pull off shorts.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I don't think you can. You see my legs? I'm not commomenting on your legs. I'm just saying just the exposed nature of your legs. I have a lot of leg. I mean, your thighs at eye level to some people. Yeah, I have a lot of leg, I do. Couple of other notable things.
Starting point is 00:57:23 I drove around a car that was an advertisement for my father-in-law's dentistry. That was the car that I had. It was wrapped in an ad. Oh gosh, did you get paid? No. That's actually better. It was wrapped in an ad that had my
Starting point is 00:57:38 deceased grandmother-in-law on it. Her face? Yes. What? Yeah, she was in one of the ads. What do you mean in one of the ads? How many ads were on the car? Well it was like the whole thing was wrapped. It was like.
Starting point is 00:57:52 In your dead grandmother-in-law? Yeah, well she just passed like a few months ago. Was she, what position was she in? It's just her face, she's smiling and showing her beautiful teeth. Really? Mm-hmm. On every side of the car? Just, she's on one side, she's smiling and showing her beautiful teeth. Really? Mm-hmm. On every side of the car?
Starting point is 00:58:07 Just she's on one side and there's another group of people. It's just like her and some other people on one side and there's other people on the other side. So I was a driving ad. I mean, it's free transportation. I drove it everywhere. Drove it all over the place. Yeah, that's...
Starting point is 00:58:23 I did not get paid for it though. And I thought it might be, I thought about asking. And when you hopped out, what were you wearing? Shorts, man. Yeah, exactly. Well, this is, I didn't. You were the total package, brother. No, every morning I woke up, I put on shorts
Starting point is 00:58:38 and nothing else, no shoes, no shirt. And I remained that way for all of the day. Oh, I don't blame you. I'm just saying it's not good for the brand. And if it wasn't improper, I wouldn't have had shorts on. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's so hot that there's no difference
Starting point is 00:58:55 between the inside of your body and the outside of your body. I know, I'm just saying. So you don't need to protect it in any way. Were people coming up to you, asking you about the business? Oh yeah. Really? I made stuff up. But people coming up to you, asking you about the business? Oh yeah. Really?
Starting point is 00:59:07 I made stuff up. But they didn't believe you because you were in shorts. And you were shirtless. So I think you kind of negated any. Who's that shirtless man? Is that the shirtless dentist? It's so hot, I understand why he doesn't wear a shirt when he does his work.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Out here there's a plumber called the smell good plumber. But the shirtless dentist is better. The shorted dentist. Because technically I only had shorts on. But the shirtless dentist is something that, I mean you're sitting in the chair laid back and all of a sudden you got armpit in your face. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:43 He's reaching over trying to get a utensil. And let me tell you, that armpit stinks. I know it does. I don't, I would put deodorant on in the morning, but I might as well didn't because. See, you see the slippery slope you're on. You just start stinking. You just, you stink constantly.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Then your hair gets long and you're like Peter. Hi, I'm Peter. I will say I had a dream about, when I was on vacation, I had a dream. Oh no. This is really crazy, I don't understand what happened. I think I may have seen some news report because I had a dream where the Saudi crown prince
Starting point is 01:00:24 was flying a very small open hatch plane, like an old style plane, but he was pulling behind him another plane that was pulling behind it another plane that was pulling behind it a boat. A plane train with a boat caboose. That was pulling behind another boat that was very, very large, like a cruise ship style boat,
Starting point is 01:00:47 and then on and on and on. And it was all in the air. All in the air? He was in the air, even the boat was in the air. Where were you? You were in the dentist's car? I was in some vantage point where I could see all this. From the ground?
Starting point is 01:01:01 I feel like I was on a cliff and he was going by because I feel like I was eye level with it but he was over the ocean. Okay, you were eye level with it. And here's what I thought in the dream. I was like, man, I gotta remember the details of this for Ear Biscuits. In the dream.
Starting point is 01:01:13 But I wasn't thinking about in the dream. I was thinking about it as if I've gotta remember this moment where the Crown Prince flew his crazy plane train. Yeah, you believed it. You believed you were living the moment. And so ironically, now I'm telling you about seeing the crown prince in his plane train,
Starting point is 01:01:31 but I'm telling you about it one layer removed because it was a dream about telling you about it. But now I'm telling you about the dream in which I thought of telling you about the plane train. Wow. That's weird. I think you shouldn't have told us. I think you should have kept it in dreamland. I think you should email the Saudi Prince.
Starting point is 01:01:53 But man, you just wait. When we go back. It's gonna be hot. I'm only packing shorts now. Can you get on a plane, nothing but shorts? Is it like no shirt, no shoes, no service type situation? You have to wear a shirt. Do you though?
Starting point is 01:02:07 Yes. I've seen no signs that say shirtless, no problem. There's not signs, but people routinely get kicked off of planes for taking their shirt off. People routinely get kicked off of planes, usually women, for having overly revealing clothes. Now, I'm not saying I agree with this policy, but just last week, there was a report of a woman
Starting point is 01:02:31 who just had like a strapless tank top thing on, I don't know what it was. A tube top. And she got asked to leave the freaking plane, and it wasn't even really risque. And so if they do that, and I don't know if it's an airplane, if it's like an airline policy, but yeah, you have to wear a shirt. If you just take your shirt off in the middle of a flight,
Starting point is 01:02:51 they'll ask you to put it back on. "'Sir, could you please put your shirt back on?" They'll say that. And then if you say, "'It's so hot.'" "'But it's so hot, officer.'" That's not gonna work. I don't know if they would turn the plane around.
Starting point is 01:03:04 From the flight deck, we're gonna have to take a U-turn and go back to RDU, because we got a man who will not put his shirt on. I don't think that would happen. You know, but. What about a mesh tank top? You see nipple? Yeah, the straps are low and the nipples are on
Starting point is 01:03:21 either side of them, and they're my nipples. Your nipples? Yeah. Well, for reasons that I'm still beginning to try to unravel, male nipples and female nipples are perceived differently. I mean, one's acceptable on Instagram and one isn't. So I would have to say that your mesh.
Starting point is 01:03:38 And Instagram is the modicum of morality. Your mesh nipples will probably get by on the plane. Oh, they're not meshed. They're beside mesh. Oh, the mesh is on the inside of the nipples. Yeah. That's what you said. I put my tank top on backwards, I think. I think there would be a discussion
Starting point is 01:03:55 about whether or not to approach you. Right. By the way, when they're trying to sort out the almonds and the Chex Mix, they'd be like, you see seat 13B, yeah. But see, the further back your plane is, like if you're in the second plane, or the third plane being pulled by the second plane being.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Oh, you're going back to the plane. Then the less you can wear. So if you're in that second boat, you can be naked. I think the Saudi crown prince has pretty specific standards with when it comes to dress though. I thought that both boats. I think that I'm not trying to get into that in those waters, but I don't think nipples are okay.
Starting point is 01:04:31 It's been a civic podcast. When you told me I immediately pictured a plane, towing a plane, towing a plane in the air, towing a boat. That was on the group. In the air, towing another boat, which was much bigger as you said, but that one's in the water. None of it was in the air towing a boat. That was on the group. In the air towing another boat, which was much bigger as you said, but that one's in the water.
Starting point is 01:04:48 None of it was in the water. I think it was in the water at one time. The last one's in the water. I think it started out in the water. Right, they were all, were they? All boats start in the water. Well, no, they start in a factory, then they're launched into the water.
Starting point is 01:05:00 Was it a water plane? No, it was a little single engine, open top, whatever. Saudi Prince was wearing goggles. Yeah, I don't even know how I recognized him. Scarf. That's pretty much all that happened to me on my vacation, that's worth mentioning. Well I hate I missed it.
Starting point is 01:05:15 I was at home doing nothing, wasn't even looking at your Instagram, I don't know what I was doing. Did you, how did you occupy yourself? I'd sit in different places. Did you clean things? Oh yeah. I would sit in different places. Did you clean things? Oh yeah. I would sit in different places and eat different things
Starting point is 01:05:30 that were usually vegan. I'm not going vegan or anything, I'm just trying to counteract what had happened on tour. It felt good to do that. Crap, am I supposed to have a wreck in effect? No, I got a wreck. I'm ready. So relieved, I was not ready.
Starting point is 01:05:47 I was not ready, don't leave me. This is a little bit of a cheat because I'm gonna wreck something that I wrecked on Twitter which may lower the value of this recommendation but I will expand the recommendation. I will expand the recommendation as so as to make it somewhat valuable. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:04 You may have seen that I tweeted about Blake Crouch's new book, Recursion. Blake Crouch is a guy, I believe he's from North Carolina. He doesn't live there anymore. Is he shirtless on his book jacket? No, yeah, I believe he shirted. And the first books I ever read by him, he wrote a trilogy called the Wayward Pines trilogy.
Starting point is 01:06:28 The first book is Wayward Pines and then there's two more and I read all those. That was also made into a show. And then he wrote another book called Dark Matter. He wrote another book, what is he, an author? Called Dark Matter which is all, Wayward Pines is just very, it's all kind of like sci-fi, psychological thriller
Starting point is 01:06:51 kind of situation if you're into that kind of thing and I am. Dark Matter was all about parallel universes, the multiverse and navigating those and just super thoughtful book. And when he goes into sort of the science behind these very crazy concepts and the way that he explores them,
Starting point is 01:07:12 it can get a little squirrely sometimes when you're trying to approach things that there is some sort of scientific understanding established about these things, but then you're trying to write a fictional book about them and I just feel like he strikes a really good balance. And then Recursion is his latest book, which is all about the nature of memory
Starting point is 01:07:31 and some very sci-fi stuff that is based on some current understanding of the way memory works, but taking that to a very sort of unexpected place. Anyway, highly recommend Blake Crouch in general. His latest book, you can start with any of these. His latest book is Recursion. I recommend it if you're into sort of a wild ride for your mind.
Starting point is 01:07:58 What are you doing over there? Nothing, I'm listening. I'm sorry, there was a tangle in my thing and I was just letting you do your thing. I'll fix this afterwards. Recursion, you say. A wild ride for your mind that's very, very entertaining. A wild mind ride.
Starting point is 01:08:16 Yeah. Take a ride on Blake Crouch's mind. Did you get it untangled? You didn't get it untangled. I said I'd do it later. All right guys, thanks for hanging out with us, listening at us. And we'll speak at you again next week. Hashtag Ear Biscuits.
Starting point is 01:08:31 We look at those. We look at those.

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