Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 206: Do We Interrupt Each Other Too Much? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 206
Episode Date: September 2, 2019This is an intervention. Or so it seems. One of the guys is shocked when he is told how often he interrupts people on a weekly basis. Find out who it is on this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn mor...e about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is Mythical.
Before we get started, we wanna let you know
about the dates, where we're gonna be at places
and we want you to come see us.
This coming week, we're gonna be in Houston,
New Orleans, Birmingham, Jacksonville, and Tampa.
That starts Wednesday, September 4th
and goes through September 8th.
So there's still some tickets available, so grab them up.
Yes, and then a little bit later in the year,
we're bringing our Bleak Creek Conversations,
that's where we're gonna be talking about the book
and the creative process, also showing a documentary
that we made back in Buies Creek,
and remember, every single ticket for that show
comes with an actual copy of our novel,
The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek.
So that's a good deal.
And it's gonna be a very special experience.
And that's gonna be late October,
starting October 27th in Boston,
then October 29th in New York,
30th in Chicago,
Halloween night in Dallas-Fort Worth,
then we're gonna be in Winston-Salem,
two shows, November 1st,
and then finishing that up in LA on November 3rd.
And then we just got a handful of shows
for our music and comedy in Albuquerque, Phoenix,
Sacramento, and Valley Center, California,
starting on November 20th through the 23rd.
So go to RhettandLinkLive.com,
and if you know people who are in those areas,
tell them to come see us.
All tickets at RhettandLinkLive.com.
Now on with the biscuit.
Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of dim lighting,
we are asking the question,
should you switch which side of the bed you sleep on?
Oh man.
And other questions.
I'm getting, I got a shiver down my spine
when I heard you ask that and when I immediately read it,
I was like, I feel threatened.
This is a question from a Mythical Beast
in response to a prompt that we put out on, I don't know,
where do we put it out, Twitter, Facebook, how do we do it?
Twitter.
Got a lot of really good questions. Follow us on Facebook, follow don't know, where do we put it out? Twitter, Facebook, how do we do it? Twitter. Follow us on Twitter. Got a lot of really
good questions.
Follow us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram.
Follow us on.
Follow us everywhere.
Follow us, follow us to the ends of the earth.
Don't think, just follow.
So yeah, I'm excited about that question
and a number of questions that we got.
So excited that we should just get right into
one of the questions.
Yeah, let's do it, you feeling excited?
Well, I am.
You don't look excited.
Well, because I like to ease into the day.
You know, people who come in and seem too excited
for the morning, they burn out so fast.
I build up.
Are you talking about,
you thinking about somebody in particular?
No, I would say that one out of eight days
you kinda do that and I can kinda see it in your face.
It's kinda like, I gotta psych myself up.
I gotta psych myself up, man, and you come in
and you're psyching yourself up and I can tell
that you have not had a good day so far.
So, no, no, no, no.
My theory about you is that when you seem excited
it's because you haven't had a good day.
I'm compensating, I'm compensating. It isn't because, oh Link's having a great time, he's super excited, it's because you haven't had a good day. I'm compensating.
It isn't because, oh Link's having a great time,
he's super excited, he's in a great mood.
When you're having a good day, I think you're like this.
Nothing. Yeah.
Just flatline. Yeah, right.
But if I'm not having a good day,
I seem like I'm having a great day.
Yeah, and if I seem like I'm having a great day,
I am having a great day.
I don't psych myself up.
That never happens, Rhett. Right. No, I'm having a great day. One out of a great day. I don't psych myself up. That never happens, Rhett.
Right.
No, I'm having a great day.
One out of every eight days, I need to have a good day?
I work my way into a good day every day.
I like to have something to look forward to,
not something to dwindle, you know what I'm saying?
So set your expectations low at the beginning of the day,
don't smile too much, don't seem too excited.
Listen.
And by the end of the day, you'll be happy.
There's another thing.
Sometimes you're right, okay?
I'm not gonna say you're wrong.
Often I'm right.
About this.
75% of the time I'm right.
I'm not talking about in general, you asshole.
I'm talking about, oh yeah, 75% of the time
you're right about my one in eight times
I'm acting happy when I'm not in order to become happy. Okay, good. But there are times. When you're right about my one in eight times I'm acting happy when I'm not in order to become happy.
Okay, good.
But there are times.
When you're just happy?
When I'm just freaking happy, in the morning.
Like, and it usually has to do with some magical song
came on my playlist on my drive in.
Oh, you're too, yeah, yep, that's your problem.
No, why has there gotta be a problem?
No, I'm saying.
Just be happy for me that I was happy.
Here's what I'll say.
Oh, don't get happy because of music.
If, no, music can make you happy,
but if you know that music can change your mood,
you should find the songs that do that
and you should make sure that one of those
is always in the playlist.
No.
I don't want you to be Happy Link one out of eight times.
I want you to be Happy Link all the time
if it's a possibility.
Now you're sounding like an addict.
Because here's the thing.
Are you addicted to music?
Happiness is not something you can manufacture, my brother.
It's something that, and when you do, it diminishes.
But when a song, it's kind of like,
when your favorite song comes on the radio,
it makes you happier than when it comes on,
when you scroll and select it. You're not listening to the radio, it makes you happier than when it comes on, when you scroll and select it.
You're not listening to the radio though.
But I'm listening to Spotify curated playlists
that the algorithm thinks I like.
So when the algorithm.
So you're relying on the computer to make you happy.
Yeah, when the computer makes me happy,
I'm happier than when I make myself happy.
But I'm in control.
Listen, I'm not interested in happiness,
I'm interested in joy.
Fine, everything I was saying, I was talking about joy.
Joey, two syllables.
Joey.
Joey.
Joey.
I wonder how Joey's doing.
You know you're in the South
when you don't know whether someone is asking for joy or Joey.
Joey!
Hold on, did you say joy or Joey?
Because I couldn't tell.
Do we wanna start with the bed question?
Ah, ah!
Jeez, uh-oh, you're getting happy too soon.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's too early for you to get to happy.
I'm letting natural circumstances,
much like a playlist, make me happy.
Okay, I'm super excited about this question
because we didn't talk about this.
Well, you're gonna burn out.
We didn't talk about this because of the way
that the vacations worked and all this,
but I really wanted to know your opinion on this.
On this question?
I've talked about with this, about my wife
because there was something related to this
that went viral on Twitter.
So this question. Read the question.
Is from Mike Dadbod, Florida.
Yeah. That's a good name.
My wife, out of nowhere, eight years into our marriage,
decided she wanted to change
what side of the bed we sleep on.
Now, especially in the context of the question,
my wife, eight years into marriage,
decided she wanted to change
what side of the bed she wanted to sleep on.
It sent shivers down my spine.
Oh, I can only imagine.
Like, I just felt, I had a fear reaction
of empathy to you, Dad bod Florida.
Now. That dad bod's all of a sudden
finding himself on the other side of the bed?
I think what I'm about to tell you.
But I don't wanna have a knee jerk emotional reaction.
It's gonna blow your mind.
I wanna analyze this and I wanna be open to.
Well, and I have a theory about the way
that you approach this and I think you probably
have a theory about the way I would approach this.
Now, the reason I wanted to get into this question
is because a few weeks ago on Twitter,
there was a guy who said, or a girl,
I don't know who exactly it was.
It was someone, I don't think they were a public personality
and maybe they were. Anyway, they were a public personality, maybe they were.
Anyway, they were like, last night,
we were hanging out with a couple
that we've been friends with for a while,
and we found out that they do not have sides of the bed
that they sleep on.
Wow.
Any given night, they may end up on either side of the bed,
and it's not a discussion,
and it just is the way they've always been.
And of course-
Are they passed out drunk every night or something?
And this, of course, sent shockwaves throughout
the internet because this is crazy, okay?
I mean, I personally think that, and I'm a person that,
I'm not routine oriented, but this struck me as bonkers.
Wild.
You know?
Yeah.
The idea that you don't have a side of the bed
because there's just so many utilitarian things
that go along with what side of the bed.
You've got bedside tables that have your stuff in them,
right, you put your phone on.
Hey, there's just reasons to be on a side of the bed.
Preach!
Now, you saying this, it brings a lot more power
than me saying it because everyone's gonna know
that I'm gonna say my thing about.
Hold on, but let me just say,
your opinion about that is not a novel opinion.
That's a normal opinion.
That someone would have a bedside table that has,
like there's a drawer that is,
I'm not even an organized person,
but I'm an organized person compared to my wife,
at least when you're talking about drawers.
So like I got things in my drawer, I got books on my side,
I got the way I wanna charge my phone, et cetera,
on my side.
Now, the thing that I discovered when Jessie and I
started talking about this,
and this is my question for you is,
have you always had a particular side of the bed
throughout your whole marriage,
regardless of what house you're in,
and when you stay in a hotel,
do you occupy the same side of the bed that you do at home?
That's my question for you.
And let me just say that my guess
is that you've always had the same side of the bed
and you always assume it on vacation.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm presumptuous,
but that's my theory.
I'm thinking back to all my beds.
Okay, yes.
I've always, throughout 19 years of marriage,
sleeping in the same bed for 19 years,
slept on what I'll call the left side.
So from my perspective, sleeping in the bed,
looking up at the ceiling, my left shoulder
is closest to the, is on the left side of it.
So the right side of the bed.
Hanging out there.
I think most people, you're sitting there,
you're looking at a bed and there's a right
and a left side of bed.
Well it's kinda like stage left I think.
Like if you're about to get in the bed.
I'm like, when to get in the bed.
When I get in a bed, I'm a performer, brother.
So I'm talking bed left.
Okay so bed left and I would say room right.
Room right.
So as you're looking at the bed and you're like,
am I gonna sleep on the left side of the bed
or the right side of the bed?
You sleep on the right side of the bed.
I'm gonna sleep on the right side
and then magically it becomes the left side.
Okay.
That's a bonus.
Okay. And this a bonus. Okay.
And this is something that just happened
early on in your marriage and then there was no reason
to switch it, didn't think about it.
And the second part of your question,
when I go to a hotel room and I'm traveling with Christy,
I have actively thought about this.
We have not discussed it.
But like when you walk in the room
and you've got your luggage and I immediately like to settle in.
I like to put the luggage, I like to,
if anything needs to be hung, I like to hang it.
I like to put the toiletries by the sink.
I like to settle in, I like to feel secure.
Yeah.
But that involves going ahead and kind of claiming
a side of the bed immediately.
And I don't wanna burden Christy with this conversation.
Of course the flip side of that is
you should consult your wife.
She has, but we instinctively.
But she knows that that's a dead end.
We go to this, we go to the same sides.
And by the way, whenever I'm traveling alone,
well you know what, it's up for grabs at that point,
but I do sleep on a side of the bed, I think.
A side that you determined to be most useful,
like this is a better lamp on this side or something?
We gotta reach your phone or whatever.
There's a reason.
Gotta reach your phone.
It really has to do with like,
if there's a plug on one side
and I can get to charge my phone,
sometimes they're not on both sides.
Well, I will say that when I sleep in a hotel bed by myself,
I sleep in the middle of the bed because as a big man.
You can reach anywhere.
This is like what I always want is a large bed
that I can just go anywhere in.
And if you're in the middle,
you can reach both bedside tables simultaneously.
Yeah I can put my hands on both tables at the same time.
Finally, you got something to live for.
Now, Jessie and I began to talk about this
and it led to an argument.
Oh yeah.
Based on the tweets?
Yeah, because, now first of all,
we sleep, just to give you a lay of the land,
I started thinking back through previous houses
and in my previous home,
I slept on the other side of the bed. And then I went back and in the previous home, I slept on the other side of the bed.
And then I went back and in the other house,
I slept on the same side that I sleep on now.
And so there seems to be no rhyme or reason
to which side I pick in a particular house that we're in.
However, we stay on that side of the bed.
When we go on vacation, there is no conversation about it and we end up on either side of the bed. When we go on vacation, there is no conversation about it
and we end up on either side of the bed
and we never talk about it.
It's random.
And it's just random if we're in a hotel.
Well, sorry, it's not random.
It could be either side,
but when I started evaluating the psychology,
realizing that I was the one making the choice first, this is when she got mad.
You pointed it out to her.
I have a thought process that's almost subconscious
that has been determining which side of the bed
I sleep on in every environment
that I've ever slept on a bed.
Okay, and what is it?
It is I want to be farthest from the door.
The door.
Oh, you wanna use your wife
as a human shield.
So, which that's hence the argument.
So what I told her is without even thinking about it
and it's not in, and this is why she's mad,
it's not in relation to her.
It's not like I want her to protect me.
It's that I have this instinctive,
and I've never been in a room
and had somebody come in and attack me.
It's never happened in 41 years, right?
But I'm a cautious person.
Like I am the kind of person that goes
into a public situation and thinks about
where I'm sitting in a restaurant and that kind of thing.
And I'm not a big worrier in that regard
and I don't seem anxious about it,
but I feel like almost in like a pseudo-tactical way.
Jason Bourne?
I'm kind of making decisions,
not that I would be capable of doing anything
given the extra couple of seconds.
I've only ever been in two fights
and they both ended with me punching someone in the stomach.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not a hand-to-hand combat guy.
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
Well that's why you gotta have more space to run.
But there's this thing that's like,
I need some time to think.
Again, I'm not trying to evaluate,
because it's not a conscious process.
It's always, without fail, go to the side of the bed
or the bed, and I don't know if you remember this,
like if, for a long time when we traveled,
we would get two, one room and two double beds.
I would always pick the one furthest from the door.
Now.
And I like that,
because I wanted to be further away from the AC.
Right, so it worked out without even discussing it.
Which is usually on a window unit.
And Jessie was understandably mad,
because she was like, she, you know,
I have a tendency to be,
like when we're out in public and I start walking,
sometimes I'll just kind of just walk ahead
and just kind of, because I'm so, I just,
I am not a very thoughtful person.
That's a pet peeve of hers, you walking ahead.
And I walk very fast and she walks slow
and she thinks she walks regular speed and I walk fast.
I think I walk fast and she's slow, but that's for another time.
Maybe you walk the same speed
but when you factor in leg length.
Well, we've had a lot of leg length arguments,
let's just say that.
And she's got unusual shoes.
A lot of times, you know, I don't.
She's got like shoes with fish bowls in them.
What does this have to do with the bed though?
It just means that it's consistent with my tendency
to disregard her in her eyes.
Yeah, so you didn't defer to her.
You're not protecting me, you're putting me in the way
of the potential crazed person who will come in here
and try to kill us both.
When you're like, somebody could come through the window.
Exactly, yeah.
But that's not what you think.
I'm not thinking at all.
That's just what you're now arguing.
And now, well let me say this,
now that I am consciously considering this,
I'm gonna be closest to the door now.
Because it isn't, I'm not gonna sleep any less.
So as a physical demonstration of love and deference,
you're going to sleep closer to the door.
I'm gonna put myself in harm's way.
You're gonna really.
For my wife.
No, okay.
But isn't that interesting though,
that I had subconsciously chosen this side of the bed.
I've been interested in it, yeah.
It's held my interest.
And then when I think back about those previous houses,
it was like, yes, I'm always on the other side of the bed.
Of the door.
It's the door at home.
Throw this from the door.
Because in your first house, back in Fuquay,
I thought it had to do with something like
when you stood up to get out of your bed,
like the roof angled to the point
where you could not stand up in your own bed.
That would be.
Because that's a fact.
That would have been either side of the bed
because in fact, that side, that time in Fuquay
was completely arbitrary because the bedroom
was a converted attic and the door was equidistant from the foot of the bed.
Well what about the one in Sherman Oaks,
your California home where.
I was furthest from the door.
But the bed was against the wall.
I was against the wall.
So you had to climb over Jessie in order to get in the bed
if she got in first and I think it's because
she stayed up later than you.
Well, we talked about this and she said,
well the reason we did it in that house
is because I was getting up with the kids
more often than you were.
Again, another point of disregard, lazy husband.
But I was like, yeah, I mean you're just so much better
about getting in and getting out of the bed, you're small.
It takes me an extra few seconds, you know,
something could happen.
Anyway, yeah, so I'm not gonna go into the details
of the argument that we had,
but I have made the decision now that,
now that doesn't mean that we're going to switch places
in our current home because it's pretty established
at this point and I am furthest from the door.
See, I think the reason why,
I just don't have the door thing that you have.
For me, when we travel and we're sleeping together,
like when we were on vacation in those three different beds
that we were staying in, I'm always on what I'm calling
the left side, which is the right side of the bed.
Because as I'm sleeping, she's moving on my right side.
There's a being over there.
And if the being's now, I'm not used to a being
on my left side.
And so that's gonna give me a bad night's sleep
because subconsciously I'm disoriented.
So having a being on the right side is normal.
Having a being on my left side is discombobulating.
I don't think it's that discombobulating.
But. Oh it is.
And then you have more room,
you know where you have more room subconsciously to roll.
Like if I roll this way, I got more room.
There's gonna be a person there,
but I'm not gonna roll off the bed.
And I know that if I'm.
Yeah, you're not a child, you're not a toddler.
And you know what, as a matter of fact,
last night I just remembered.
I rolled off the bed.
I came as close as you can come to rolling off the bed.
Yeah that hasn't happened to me in many years.
And you know why?
Because on vacation for over two weeks we.
You had rails?
We were sleeping on king size beds.
I come back home to my queen size bed.
It's great isn't it? Yeah Isize beds. I come back home to my queen-size bed. It's great, isn't it?
Yeah, I felt like.
I got a California king.
My subconscious was on a king-size bed
and started rolling over and I was teetering
and I woke up and had to slide.
You probably should stick to one side of the bed.
It seems safer.
Because to me, that's what it all boiled down to.
So back to Mike Dad bod Florida's question,
for me I had a fear reaction because I'm afraid
of rolling off the bed or at least having compromised sleep.
I think that the side that you're used to someone
being on in the bed with you makes a big difference
on your quality of sleep.
But I will say that.
I can't believe you're arguing that.
It might make a big difference for a couple of days.
But I'm saying that I, again,
we have a slight difference in philosophy about this,
I believe in continually shaking things up
so you don't become dependent upon routine, right?
I could adapt.
Because you become more flexible.
But in this particular situation,
in the context of a marriage,
this is, in my mind, this could be
that your wife wants to mix things up.
I mean, this is a mild mixing,
but if she's like, hey, we've been together for eight years,
what are the next eight years are gonna be like?
Well, they're gonna be like me being
on the other side of the bed, for one.
That's potentially, just take it,
first of all, I think you should ask why.
You shouldn't ask us why, you should ask her why
because we don't know.
You should find out is there any underlying reason
or is it just like hey baby, I wanted to shake things up
or no, actually I wanted to be further away from the door
so you would be the one to get killed.
It could lead to arguments.
When an intruder came in.
But again, then that might lead
to some self-sacrificial action like Rhett's doing.
But you make a good point with mixing things up
because I am always gonna be a proponent
of mixing things up when it comes to the bedroom.
I mean, hey, now we're onto something.
Okay, I got your attention.
So Mike, this could be, things could be getting exciting.
This could be like a little.
You never know where this is gonna lead.
Here's what I'll say.
And you know what, go for it.
I think I wanna just, before we move on.
Go down the water slide.
I want to acknowledge that now that I think about
which side of the bed you consider
the right and left side of the bed,
you might have something here.
Because when you're in a car, the right side of the car is as referenced
from being inside of the car.
I didn't wanna tell you but yeah, you're right.
But I feel like,
Because I'm right.
When you go, no but I think if you go to a mattress store
and you ask a person selling mattresses,
touch the right side of the mattress.
What is the person selling the mattress gonna do?
I think they're gonna touch the right side of the mattress
as if you're looking at the bed.
I agree, but it's not his mattress.
Do you think it changes once it becomes your mattress?
Or it changes once you get in the bed?
When it becomes your bed, your mattress.
Talk about mixing things up.
I mean, you're really shaking me with that.
I mean, I sustained injuries from sleeping
on the same side of the bed for too long.
I would sleep on my right side. That was sleeping on the wrong side of your body, not the side of the bed for too long. I would sleep on my right side.
That was sleeping on the wrong side of your body,
not the side of the bed.
And I would spoon Christy, but I would use my arm.
I'd put my right elbow up next to my right ear
and I would use my own elbow as a pillow.
And I did that for so long that the bones in my shoulder
started to grind against each other
and wore down the freaking cushion and now I have pain.
Technical term.
I have pain there and so I learned to sleep on my back
and I can't spoon anymore but the solution could be
wear down the left shoulder.
You can spoon.
I could get spooned.
You can spoon but you can't spoon sleep
but you can spoon just for fun.
It still hurts.
Or I think it's hurting. There's no spooning now?
I think, I can't spoon because I think
that I'm grinding my shoulder.
And so I actually try to keep my elbow down by my hip
and spoon that way.
Well, the thing about me.
And that's just weird.
The thing about spooning for me.
It's like you're upright but you're laying down.
Is I've always only ever been the big spoon
because if I'm the little spoon with Jesse,
it's like I have a backpack on.
You know what I'm saying?
It's just not the same sensation.
You're an ultra large little spoon.
Shall we move on?
I just wanna make sure we got closure here.
We've told him he needs to talk to his wife about this.
But then take it as an opportunity.
Ironically, you know what I'm gonna do tonight?
I'm gonna get in the bed first.
I'm gonna get in on Christy's side.
I'm not gonna say anything.
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
I'm gonna go all the way to sleep
and then see if she wakes me up.
If you move the furniture, it might work.
Move all the stuff in the.
Yeah.
I think Christy and I, all right, I'm audible here.
Maybe we need to throw it in the mix to switch it up.
Yeah, see how it feels.
Let's both do that with our wives and then report back.
Let's talk them in, Jessie, she won't care, right?
I don't know, I gotta talk to her about this.
Yeah, we can't decide right now for her.
I can't, listen, if I've learned anything,
I'm not gonna make a decision on the podcast
that affects my wife.
We're gonna begin negotiations which may lead to a trial period of sleeping on the other side of the bed
and see what happens.
Yeah, mix it up.
But I guarantee you there'll be some bad night's sleep.
Not for me.
No, I'm being honest with you.
I know for a fact it's not going to affect,
because I do it randomly when we travel.
Thanks, Mike.
So we got more questions.
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Here's another question from Science is an Art. Huh. I moved in with my boyfriend a few months
ago and he has apparently never washed a dish
or cooked anything more complicated than ramen in his life.
Okay.
Apparently spaghetti is too complex for him.
So what most basic dish can I teach him
to introduce him to cooking?
Let me say that last part in a way that makes more sense.
So what basic dish can I teach him
to introduce him to cooking?
Okay, well you know for me, I'm not a cooker.
I'm not a chefer, I'm not a maker of dishes.
I'm not proud of that but it's just the fact.
Nothing about learning how to cook has ever appealed to me
and again, it's almost a confession,
but you already knew that.
I am however a cleaner, so I'm observing right off the bat.
So you like the part that no one does.
You pick the only thing that,
and part of the process that nobody likes.
Well the thing, the way that I've always justified it,
and like Christy enjoys cooking sometimes,
not all the time, but because I don't enjoy cooking at all,
if someone's gonna cook, it's on her
until now the kids have gotten old enough
to start preparing things themselves,
especially Lily who also enjoys cooking and baking
to a large extent.
So I've always felt guilty that like,
she's been expected to do the cooking.
And not in like a, you know,
a masculine, feminine role type way,
but just in a personal taste kind of way.
Honestly, I believe that's why.
Not because she's the woman or anything.
But I felt bad about that that but I've always compensated
or taken a defensive stance of well at least I'll clean.
Like hey, I made a decision early on in our marriage
because I didn't know how to cook and for whatever reasons
which I can go into if you want me to,
I've said I'm just gonna take the stance of
I'm gonna be grateful and uncritical of anything
that you wanna prepare
because I know that I would die if you didn't do it.
And I will also then clean up.
So I think I got a good track record.
I'm not gonna say a great one
because my wife's probably listening.
But at least a decent track record
of at least compensating when not cooking by cleaning.
You also like cleaning. You also like cleaning.
And I like cleaning.
I like putting things away.
And a lot of people who enjoy cooking,
they start to say, and Christy has said in the past,
and I've heard chefs, you know,
as I've spoken with many chefs, it's like,
the only part I hate about cooking is the cleaning.
It's like, well, let me take care of that.
Right.
As an offering of gratitude.
But this guy does neither.
And I find it interesting that the thing
that she's asking about is she's keying in
on the cooking part.
And maybe that's because she likes the cleaning part,
so I respect that.
But now I'm a little out of my league because.
Well let me ask you.
So I'm just telling you, buddy you got,
he should do one or the other.
I think maybe you can speak to this.
So first of all, it is interesting that you don't cook.
I think if you were to analyze not personality,
but if you were to analyze background,
I was raised in a very traditional home
where my mom did all the household duties.
My dad couldn't cook anything, wouldn't cook anything.
He basically- He'd grill a steak.
Yeah, he was the grill man.
He was the grill man.
He'll grill a steak, he'll barbecue the chicken,
but it's basically, I don't know what it is
about baby boomer men, but it's like,
I'm only gonna cook if I'm outside.
The moment that I come in, it's like this isn't my territory.
You know, lots of reasons for that.
And so, my mom did everything for us.
Like, my brother and I never did laundry.
Like, I think she was just like, you guys,
she didn't have the patience for us to make the mistakes
that we would have made.
She was just like, just let me do that, you know?
And that's kind of a baby boomer mom kind of thing
in a lot of ways.
So going into college, I never cooked anything,
but I like to eat so much that there came a time
in which I was like, I have to cook for myself.
It wasn't like, I wanna be a cooker.
You know, it was like, I want to cook so I can eat.
And I love it.
In our dorm room, we had one of those toaster oven things.
And I don't recall using that much.
Not really cooking, even if I were to use it.
So then you're referring to when we got our first apartment
that had a kitchen.
Yeah.
And you started cooking stuff.
Yeah, and also, you know, Greg could cook a little bit,
Tim could cook a little bit.
We all kinda could cook a little bit,
but it was like, okay, I'm gonna make hamburger helper.
I'm gonna make mashed potatoes out of a box.
But you never, you were like, I'll eat it,
but you never were like,
I'm gonna make the hamburger helper.
Well, you know what?
I'm gonna fry up the hamburger.
Rhett, there's a saying.
It goes a little something like this.
Too many cooks in the kitchen.
I mean there's four guys living in an apartment,
three of them are cooking in the kitchen.
No, but here's the thing.
There was also La Laundrie was in the kitchen.
We would divide up the cooking.
It would be like tonight Greg is gonna make this
or tonight Tim is gonna make it,
tonight Rhett is gonna make it,
but there was never a tonight Link is gonna make it.
That never worked into the mix.
But I find it interesting, we never talked about it,
I didn't care, I have no ill will about it.
But you were actually on your own a lot.
Yeah.
Being raised by a single mom and being home alone a lot.
Like you could have cooked a lot of things.
You know what?
So why didn't you?
I think maybe that-
You gotta get into this guy's head.
I think that plays into it because I think my mom,
because she had so many demands on her life
in feeding me being just one of them,
I think it was like anything that was pre-made
at the grocery store, we needed to get.
We needed, you know, she didn't have the time
or the energy to cook as much. so let's work with that theory.
Because fact, everything in our house was like,
you pull off the foil top and then you can just,
you eat it with a spoon.
Applesauce, pudding.
All the best things.
All the best things.
And then bars you can just open up and eat.
Or cookies.
But you didn't eat bars for dinner.
I mean she always cooked when I came over.
She wouldn't.
She had that stove top.
Skillet. Skillet thing
that you put on the counter, yeah.
Yeah she had her like,
we talked about it in the book of mythicality,
she had her like few meals that she would like,
she'd circle through. The rotation, yeah.
She had the rotation.
I don't know, maybe that has something to do with it though
is that a lot of it was still packaged
and I would be home alone for lunches over the summer
and I remember my favorite thing was you'd peel the top off
of this package that would have roasted chicken legs
from Holly Farms or whatever it was called.
Roasted, fully cooked chicken legs.
And I wouldn't even heat them up, I would just eat them cold.
It's like so easy.
So it's like, it's so easy, it's so tasty.
I mean it's like why go through effort when all I gotta do
is rip the top off of this thing.
That's what I learned as a child.
Just rip the top off, brother.
Get to something else.
Like playing cards by yourself in your room
or looking at your GI Joes.
Yeah, I mean, to me, so I think that when you think
about cooking, there is no joy, the joy of cooking.
I've never experienced it.
Ironically, I mean, when I took that cooking class
in Thailand, I started, I was like,
oh, I had this knife for a second, I was chopping stuff
and like, I actually, he made the meal and then we made it.
I was like, I could see how this could be fun.
But it felt like an entirely new experience to me.
Like, I'd never experienced the fact of like
putting stuff together and also there's,
I think there's anxiety of like having never done it.
It's like all I'm gonna do is screw this up.
There's no way this is gonna work.
There's a lot of steps, there's a lot of things to get right
and if I'm gonna do it, I gotta do it exactly right.
So it's a lot of pressure.
I think maybe because cooking versus baking, you know.
Baking is more probably your style
because it's like all these specific ingredients
and specific temperatures.
But it's too intimidating to get into the exactness of that.
Okay, but all right.
I feel that way about all of it.
So maybe this will help with your boyfriend.
Because from my perspective, the reason I like doing it,
and I don't do it that often.
I usually, the weekends is when I have time to like,
I've got time, you know?
I get home probably seven o'clock,
and so, and sometimes Jesse gets home at the same time
and then we either do takeout or we'll eat something late.
We don't, we're not one of those families
that eats at the same time.
We eat somewhere between six o'clock and nine o'clock
and you never know when it's gonna be.
But the thing that I like about it is I do like building
and creating things.
Like I've never done it but the idea of like making
a sculpture or you know painting a painting,
like getting into something like that,
that there's a process and then there's a final product
has always been intriguing to me.
I think it's one of the reasons I like what we do.
But the beauty in cooking is that you get to do the process
and then you get to eat the final product.
So it's better than art because you get to eat it.
I love to eat so much.
It's one of your favorite things.
If I could paint a painting and then eat it,
that would be incredible.
So what you're getting at for me and him,
because this is also.
You gotta find something you can connect with
in the process.
So. You gotta find the joy.
For you. Where's the joy?
It's the art of creation and then the art of consuming.
With the art of creation and the exercise of consuming.
And there is a sense of accomplishment
that I'm not gonna make something that's as good
as what we can get takeout in Los Angeles, most likely.
But I did it, man.
I'm eating the art that I made.
And so again, back to her.
Like a child eating Play-Doh.
Back to her username, ScienceIsInArt, ironically.
Maybe we're onto something that can help you tap
into his passion because you're a little divisive
in the way you've written this.
Apparently spaghetti is too complex for him.
You know, you gotta lose the tood, first of all.
You know, just because he doesn't like cooking,
it's just like, the stuff you don't like doing,
you're not gonna shame him into cooking.
But you can lure him into it.
Well what's the best dish?
Because first thing that comes to mind is grilled cheese.
I think it's you cook stuff together.
Because grilled cheese is a sandwich which is easy
but it's a slightly cooked sandwich.
With every step of cooking the grilled cheese,
you take off an article of clothing.
You know?
Make it a little. Make it a bedroom game.
Make it foreplay.
Mix it up again.
I know. You can do this on either side
of the kitchen.
Right.
Which you always use the same burner?
Use a different burner.
There's a saying, Rhett, and this is how it goes.
Lovemaking starts in the kitchen.
I agree with that.
So that's another one.
One may be art, another one may be bribery, I don't know.
It's like I'll give you an Amazon gift card
if you learn how to make spaghetti.
You know, again, that's not a good idea.
Well the specific question was what's the most basic dish?
I don't know, I'm not putting a lot of thought into this.
I don't think it's about how basic the dish is.
It's not about the dish being easy. It's about tapping into motivations. Yeah, I'm not putting a lot of thought into this. I don't think it's about how basic the dish is. It's not about the dish being easy.
It's about tapping into motivations.
Yeah, I agree with that, but you gotta start somewhere.
Well, I think that's a secondary,
you can't answer that question,
you can't give them grilled cheese
until you've come to the motivation
because the motivation then might say,
you gotta address the motivation.
Oh, it needs to be beef stroganoff.
Maybe just make a painting and let him eat it.
And if you're taking off your clothes,
you could call it beef taken off.
Oh.
Clothes.
That's good. Let's make it a game.
That's a good recipe, you should do a whole book.
Beef take it off.
Give me another question.
But we're really nailing them this morning.
Mariah Bozzell, MC Bozzell on Twitter.
I drive my friends crazy talking over them all the time.
I just get so excited.
Tips for being a less obnoxious conversationalist.
This is a little close to home.
What do you mean?
Well, considering that not too many pods ago,
we talked about this and my theory was.
And I'm not gonna do that joke where I interrupt you
because it's played out.
My theory was that you interrupt me
more than I interrupt you.
And it got a little prickly.
And then you what?
You gave an assignment.
No, I just said, okay, somebody make a compilation.
And we actually talked to Kiki, you're so loud,
about this when we met her at VidCon.
After she had answered your call.
She made a video that was a series of you interrupting me
and most of the time saying sorry to interrupt
when you did it.
It was not an exhaustive compilation.
No it wasn't, it wasn't.
You know, I think it was funny that she answered your call
and it was all in good fun and I found it humorous.
But listen, I mean, for that one,
she did some kind of search.
There was some sort of search with like,
I don't think that. Interrupting.
And so what she did was, I think all she proved
was that when I interrupt you, because I do,
I apologize for it and I use the word,
I'm sorry for interrupting.
So it's easier to like find it in some sort of transcript search.
And you don't apologize but you do it just as much.
Okay and this is, Question mark?
Huge question mark.
Now I'm not, listen, don't get super defensive.
I'm not. Okay?
I'm just gonna keep breathing in through my nose,
out through my mouth. And I am not mad
about this, we've actually talked about this in the past.
Because first of all.
And let's have, I just interrupted you.
I'm sorry for interrupting you.
But I do, I'm gonna have a real conversation
and I'm not gonna do anything for comedic effect anymore.
From this moment on, we're having a real,
Real conversation.
Sincere conversation about interrupting each other.
Okay, I think there's a couple of things.
We both like to talk.
We both like to hear ourselves talk.
This is a recipe for interruptions.
I do it and you do it.
And I think that who does it more
does have something to do
with what it is that we're talking about at the time.
If I get passionate about something
and I feel like I've got a lot of important things
to say about it, I will be more likely to interrupt.
And I guess the same holds true for you.
All that being said, there is a phenomenon,
and this is where the whole apologizing about interrupting
doesn't really come into play.
And I don't really know how often you do this
in the context of us just being on a podcast
or even on the show,
but this is the thing we talked about before.
You interrupt a lot
and you don't know that you've interrupted.
So you're not being rude on purpose.
And the way that happens most often is
we're in a conversation either together
or most often in the context of a larger group
and we both begin talking at a,
well, usually what happens is I start,
when this particular thing happens,
I start talking and I get one to four words out
and then you just start talking.
And then my personality is pretty deferential
in those circumstances.
So I tend to stop talking.
You don't even know that I started talking.
It isn't like, I don't care about what Rhett has to say,
I'm gonna start talking.
My theory is, is that the way that your brain kind of works.
Well I can tell you what happens.
Yeah, I think when we're,
especially in like meetings type of thing
or like when we're making decisions,
we're processing something like that,
so it's not like shooting the breeze.
I think you're really talking about when we're in like a,
I'm not just gonna say like a business conversation,
but like a strategic
or something that's like, there's a lot of moving parts.
I tend to, I think and then speak about it a little slower.
So like, I'll be a beat behind, and then,
but I'll be thinking intently, informing my thought.
And so someone may have started talking,
but those two words that you said, I didn't hear
because it was, I was still in the silence of about to speak.
I would say it happens between 20 and 40 times a week.
I'm not exaggerating.
Now, but it's just kind of become a part of the way
that we interact. Do you agree that it's like
in the office, kind of like in meetings?
I think it's in any group conversation.
You think it's any shooting the breeze?
Any conversation, any group conversation.
So there was a couple years ago.
This is an intervention.
So there's, no, we've talked about it before.
There was a couple years ago where I made a decision
that what I was going to do when it happened was I was just going to not stop talking
because I know I'm an asshole, trust me,
but I'm actually, I'm a little too nice
in certain situations and so I am very deferential.
Like my personality is to be pretty deferential.
Like if there's two people walking down the sidewalk,
I'm gonna be the one who moves and says excuse me, right?
That's kind of, I tend to do that, almost to a fault.
So my natural disposition is, he started talking,
I'm gonna stop talking.
So I tried to do a thing where I would start saying something
and then you would start talking
and I would just talk a little bit louder
and then it just didn't work.
I don't remember you doing that
but I can only imagine that would just make me angry
because I'm like why is he talking?
Why is he yelling when I was talking?
Welcome to the club.
But I still cannot believe that if you're saying
I do this 20 to 40 times a week, I cannot believe that.
It's a fact.
I cannot believe it. I'm a fact. I cannot believe it.
I'm not exaggerating.
And if so.
But I know that you don't know it
because you're not,
because I know that you wouldn't do it intentionally.
So it just kind of become a thing that's like.
Don't know what?
Don't know that you had started talking, right?
Yeah, but you'll notice,
and you probably hear this from me,
I would say a couple of times a month,
especially if I feel, I'll be like, hold on, I'm talking.
You'll hear me say that, right?
Hold on, hold on a second, I'm talking.
That's when I feel like what I need to say
needs to be said right now.
Most of the time I'm like, what I need to say
can probably be said after Link finishes
saying what he's gonna say.
That's typically what I do.
So my theory is that as it might translate into,
again, it's very different in this context
because I'm in your ear on a microphone.
I don't think what we're talking about now
applies to Ear Biscuits.
I don't think it does either.
So I do wanna talk about that,
which is what I thought we were gonna talk about.
But we need to come up with a plan for this
because I cannot believe this 20 to 40 times a week.
I just can't believe it.
And if that's true, I want to know, but there's gotta be.
Do I need a bell?
No, there's gotta be a way that doesn't involve a bell.
How about you wear a shot collar?
Hold on, you can't start making jokes.
We said we weren't making jokes.
Okay, all right, okay. This is serious.
I'm just saying there's gotta be a gentle way,
a gentle and private way
for you to say, or you know what, it can't be private
because there's someone else in the conversation.
It doesn't happen when we're just talking to each other.
It happens when the two of us are talking to somebody else.
Right?
It happens, but you do it with other people
in the office as well, but they all do what I do.
They just stop talking.
They stop talking because the boss is talking.
I stop talking because I'm not willing to.
I honestly don't know what's happening because.
You don't, I already knew, I already know.
It's because of the way you're,
it's exactly what you said.
Okay.
What you explained is you're not a rude person.
It is, he didn't, he was thinking about
what he was gonna say and you tend to not listen when you're thinking
about what you're gonna say and so you're not
hearing me speak.
But it's when there's a silence and then it's like,
it's the kickoff of the conversation so it's not like
you've been talking and talking and talking
and then all of a sudden I interrupt in the middle.
Again, those are the type of things that happen
in Ear Biscuits.
Sometimes it might happen that way, if there's a pause.
But the theory is that.
And I was gonna continue.
If there's a pause, and then it's like, oh,
now is a socially acceptable opportunity for someone else,
potentially me, to speak, so I'm going to speak,
but I'm gonna need to formulate what I'm gonna say
because up until this point, I've been listening,
I haven't been formulating a thought.
It's like, it's not that extreme,
but I think so linearly that,
or live my life so linearly that,
maybe not to that extreme, but I do think that happens
where it's like, I am listening,
and then there's a pause, but I don't know,
I haven't been thinking about what I'm gonna say, so.
Well, you've got two modes because you have a,
you're actually much more likely to speak your thoughts,
to speak without thinking than I am.
And that's a certain mode and you tend to be in that mode
when we're entertaining, which I would say,
this is entertainment, hopefully.
But.
And then also on the show.
But. So it doesn't really happen
in that situation. But the real life version
of that is that I'm a verbal processor.
So sometimes I don't know exactly what I think
about something until I begin to speak it out.
So I don't say things definitively,
I say things exploratorily.
That's how I speak.
So, which ironically would make you,
lead you to believe that I could fill a gap immediately
because I don't know what I'm gonna think,
it just, I verbally process it.
So those things don't work totally together
but I do think my theory is,
because what I'm getting at ultimately is
some way that you can gently flag
that it's happening so that I can be receptive
to the feedback so that I can get better about it,
if you're right.
You're not making this up, but it's that hard for me
to believe that it happens 40 times a week.
Well, 40 times a week would be eight times a day.
I said 20 to 40.
I would have been fine with once or twice a day.
This seems like a lot more than that.
I think it depends on how many
of those conversations we're in.
But any time we're in a.
One out of how many conversations?
If we sit down and have a meeting
where we're both speaking about something,
it is going to happen.
Okay, I don't like that.
But I'm saying, in my defense, I do think that
it's most likely to happen at a point where there's
a pause in the conversation and then in that pause,
I'm formulating something, someone else begins to speak,
but in my formulation, I still feel like I'm in the gap
and then I start talking a beat later.
Because I do know another thing that happens is
we're in a meeting and we've been asked to give,
make a decision about something
or give creative feedback on something
and then you'll, like, one or both of us will give feedback,
then there'll be a pause and then the person
who's talking to us like Stevie will then move on
to the next thing and then halfway through her moving on
to the next thing, I say one more thing about the last thing
because I'm still thinking about it.
But when you do that. And I realize that.
You know that you're doing that. And I do that. Sorry, before we move on. And I do that a lot when you do that. And I realize that. You know that you're doing that.
And I do that.
Sorry, before we move on.
And I do that a lot.
I would say. I do know that.
I would say that if we're in a meeting
where there are seven items,
three of those items,
you're gonna have an additional thought.
And I actually think, and I don't.
And it would be weird for her to just have
a twice as long pause or ask me,
do you have anything else?
Because that's not how,
because that would be demeaning.
Let me say, I actually, it's annoying.
Like what you just said, that situation's
not even annoying, it's like that's how your brain works
and you are the kind of the details guy
and the second check and that kind of thing
and that's part of our process so I welcome that.
It can be a little, sometimes it can be like,
okay, we just talked about that, we got a bunch of other things. I get it. So It can be a little, sometimes it can be like, okay, we just talked about that,
we got a bunch of other things.
I get it.
So it can be a little annoying but it's not really.
Even the first thing that we're talking about,
I would say that I am so used to dealing with it
that it's only annoying to me if I'm already
like a little mad about something at you and then I'm like,
mm, okay, he's doing that thing.
But it's not really, it's kinda like,
this is just the way, I know he doesn't know,
he's not interrupting me because he doesn't think
what I said, he doesn't know that he interrupted me.
He doesn't know that I started to speak
and then he started to speak.
So if you want to deal with it,
I am open to you dealing with it,
but I'm saying that you don't have to deal with it, I am open to you dealing with it but I'm saying that you don't have to deal with it
because A, I don't know if it's possible.
But you're saying I do it to other people.
Yeah, but everybody, I think also,
I would say that most everyone else also knows that you don't.
Maybe they, I don't know, maybe they think
you just don't care what they have to say
but that's a good question.
I think most people who get to know you personally
are like, oh, he's not, okay, he's not being dismissive.
I just think maybe he didn't hear me.
I think most people would be smart,
who are here long enough would be smart enough to know that.
Do you think I'm right that it's at the beginning
of conversations at the end of gaps?
It is when, yeah, but that gap could be
someone is speaking and there was a pause
and they wanted to continue speaking,
but you started talking and then they kept,
you're like, so if I was saying something
and I was making a point and then I said it
and then I stopped, but then I started going again
and after but then you started talking.
It does happen in that situation,
but it is when you perceive a gap,
you don't just interrupt people willy nilly.
It's you think there's a gap or there is a gap,
whether it's within a person's conversation
or it's in a group conversation.
And am I contributing?
Because here's the funny thing is like,
I actually observe in other people
and I've been frustrated by other people
who I think have a tendency to,
when there's a gap in a conversation,
they change the subject.
It's like, oh, they've been thinking about
what they wanted to say and when they said it,
it had nothing to do with what that person was saying and then they just started, so they changed the subject to whatever they wanted to say and when they said it, it had nothing to do with what that person was saying
and then they just started, so they changed the subject
to whatever they wanted to talk about
and that's something that irks me.
So I find it weird, is that what I do?
No.
Okay, because I do see, you know,
when I see the people who do that,
I'm like I do not want to do that.
So okay, so I don't do that.
No, you're not changing the subject.
And I've also noticed.
You're speaking to whatever we're talking about it,
but you're doing it after someone else started speaking.
The only issue is that in the context
of these conversations, it is not unusual,
in fact, it's rather common for someone else
to begin speaking and then two to four words after they start,
you start talking.
That is explicitly what it is.
Because I also notice when other people,
if somebody has a gap in their conversation
but they're in the middle of a point
that they haven't completely made
and then they start talking, that does frustrate me
because when I see other people do that.
It's like well they're not, I was following them
and they're not, they haven't made their point yet.
But you're saying I do that.
Well yeah, I think there definitely are times
when you're like, but it is-
He was obviously halfway done, not fully done,
and Link started talking.
But what you're doing is, for whatever reason,
you are not listening to that person,
like you're not tracking, if you're tracking with somebody,
you're tracking with somebody.
Yeah.
It's when you've made a decision
that you're gonna say something, you're thinking.
And sometimes it'll be like, okay, this person's saying something, but you're a decision that you're gonna say something, you're thinking. And sometimes it'll be like, okay, this person's saying
something, but you're thinking about what you're gonna say
because you're engaging with it.
And so that point you're not, I think it's, you don't,
and this is where I'm like, I don't know,
I honestly don't know, you might need to just be,
I don't know what you can do about it.
I don't know if you, you can't change your ability,
your ability to listen while you're thinking.
I need a flag.
If your brain works in a certain way.
We're gonna have to look at examples.
So I need a symbol.
I need like, you just take your fist
and then put your pinky up
and put it over your right nipple.
That's all. And then I'll know.
I'll know that I did it.
And then I'll say, okay, why did I do that?
That's why I did it.
And I'll be able to explain it to myself and to you.
And if I need to change something, I can.
But I'm gonna need that feedback.
I think maybe we-
And it's gonna need to be a pinky.
I think maybe there should just be a word.
And it can't be like, ah, you just did it.
Red light.
You can't, but there's other people in the room.
You can't just be like, if I, I just don't,
I wanna equip you so that I'm receptive to this.
I don't know what it's gonna be.
Because if, I'm gonna interrupt somebody
and then you're gonna interrupt me for interrupting them.
And what, tell them to go ahead?
No, I just need a, it needs to be a physical symbol.
Well, do you think it needs to happen in the moment
or do you think after the conversation is over
it can be like, well, let me tell you that
these are a couple of times that you did that thing.
When I was saying this or when Stevie was saying that,
what do you think would be more helpful?
If it's right after the meeting.
I want to assure you that I'm not doing this for me.
It's gotta be fresh.
I'm doing this for you if you want it to be done.
Well I don't think, did you know you were gonna do this
when we were talking about it?
Because that's an intervention.
I didn't know I was gonna talk about it
until I saw the question.
I wasn't like, I need to talk to Link about this.
Because we kind of talked about this a few years ago,
but we were talking about, you know,
we tend to like, this is one of the keys to our friendship,
I think we check in with each other, you know,
it's like that's why we're in a relationship.
What did we decide when we checked?
You told me.
We were talking about a lot of different things
and I think I just threw in there
and you always interrupt me.
Okay, that was a love priority.
I don't think that it was constructive.
But we've been pretty successful in friendship
and in business with this phenomenon existing.
And so I'm not angry about it.
I'm just saying that this is something.
I don't feel like you're angry about it.
I feel.
But I do think it's interesting
that maybe other people are
because I know you so well that I know
that you're not actually interrupting me. But maybe other people are because I know you so well that I know that you're not actually interrupting me
but maybe other people are like,
you interrupt me all the time.
I don't know.
Now I'm gonna schedule meetings with every employee
and I'm gonna ask them.
Now there are times when I intentionally interrupt people
in a meeting when I feel like we need to move on or I get what you're saying or,
so there are times when I exercise, you know,
that the position of well, I can dictate the pace
of this conversation because this meeting's for me.
And when you do that, you acknowledge that you're doing it.
So I don't think that's an issue.
Right, so it's like I'm not gonna, but I don're doing it. So I don't think that's an issue. Right, so it's like, I'm not gonna,
but I don't want a lesson,
I don't want people to think I'm doing it when I'm not.
That's, it's disturbing to find out
that you've done something apparently 20 to 40 times a week
that you don't, you're oblivious to.
So that's, it's just disturbing.
And I like to, you know, so, yes.
Did you suggest putting up the pinky?
No, you did. No, that was me.
After every meeting, I'm gonna say, did it happen?
Tell me when it happened.
My theory. I have to know.
Well, my theory is that.
And I'm, does that work?
Yeah, my theory is that at least initially,
you're gonna go into conversations in the next,
in the coming days and weeks, thinking about this
and so it's probably gonna be,
it may go away completely for a period of time.
When it comes back, I'll let you know.
I'm gonna ask after every meeting.
If it comes back, if it comes back, I can have hope,
then I'll let you know but it may not happen when you're just going into it comes back, if it comes back, I can have hope. Then I'll let you know but it may not happen
when you're just going into it with like,
I know that this thing happens, I didn't realize it happened
but now I'm thinking about it.
Just an awareness could be all that you need.
Okay, now to shift over in the interest
of wrapping up the conversation.
Yeah.
But I do wanna shift over to the Ear Biscuits dynamic,
which I think nothing that we talked about applies
because we're in a performance mode when we're both talking
and I do acknowledge that there is an element of the way
that there are times when I'll interrupt
that I thought was more part of the way
that this show worked
that interrupting each other was part of it
that then through like the feedback of listeners,
I'm like, hmm, it's actually having an annoying effect
or a frustrating effect.
Like if you're in the middle of something
that you're really passionate about,
there was a point in the past, not currently,
in my mind, where I thought that my role
in the entertainment quotient of the conversation
was to quip and interject.
And sometimes, just to throw in some things
when you were going on a monologue and then I think I expected you
to do the same thing.
Now I may not have reacted in a positive way to it
because I may not have been capable of staying on task
in my monologue if you were to do it to me.
And maybe you, I'm throwing out theories here,
maybe you knew that so you didn't do it.
But if you were to have asked me,
I would have described the conversation climate
of Ear Biscuits to be that we are both constantly
interrupting each other and it's like,
there's kind of a barrage of those things
and like in the middle of a passionate point,
we may go off on this big long rabbit trail
because somebody said something,
we may get in an argument or have a laugh attack
or like go way off and then we come back eventually
and that's kind of a entertainment mode
of what Ear Biscuits is.
I think we both do that.
I think we do it in different ways
and I think this is why it's perceived,
I think there's two factors. I think we do it in different ways and I think this is why it's perceived. I think there's two factors.
This is again, this is theoretical.
But I've also, the second half of my point was
I've changed my mind about that.
Okay, okay.
Well, okay.
So I'm saying that's how I did think
but then just to get my complete point out there,
people were annoyed by me interrupting.
And so I am making a conscious effort over the past few
months of doing it less.
Like I've literally tried to put my hand over my mouth.
Okay, Rhett's making a point, he cares about this.
It would be frustrating if I kept interrupting.
It wouldn't be entertaining.
For some reason I thought it was but it's not.
So I'm gonna just, so I kept interrupting, it wouldn't be entertaining. For some reason I thought it was but it's not. So I'm gonna just, so I've actually,
I've been trying to interrupt less.
I can say, I have noticed that.
Now, but I don't think that your instincts were wrong.
I think that we interrupt in different ways.
I think that we interrupt in different ways.
And I think that, again, neither one of us have ever taken an improv class, right?
But obviously the yes and principle
is something that is true to improv.
And I think that as we have a lot of chemistry
and we have a lot of comedic chemistry,
but your disposition is not yes and.
It just isn't yes and.
There's nothing about Link Neal that is yes and.
There's a lot of but, what, or.
Yeah.
And.
Or totally, or left field.
You bring in, whereas you might be telling a story
and you'll notice that the way that I kinda interject
into a story that you're telling is I'm like, yep, mm-hmm.
Or, little joke here, in a certain tone,
and again, and I think it has something to do
with like being raised in a bigger family
where people were telling stories and you're interjecting
and that kind of thing.
And you tend to do the same thing but when you do it,
it's more derailing than a yes and kind of thing.
So again, it's part of who you are.
I haven't, it may be annoying to an audience member
at times, it's not personally annoying to me.
Yeah, I'm talking about them.
I think the feedback has been helpful.
It's like if you're making a point
and you're obviously getting at something
and I'm engaged, I know what you're getting at,
but I feel like what normally could take eight minutes,
it would be better if it took 16 minutes
because in that additional eight minutes
of something unexpected or fill in the blank.
It just adds to the entertainment factor.
But now I understand that like an eight minute story
that you gotta wait an additional eight minutes
to get to the point is also, it's frustrating.
So and so there's a middle ground of like,
if you're gonna add a minute of interjection,
because it is after all a conversation.
It's not a series of handoff monologues.
But I do think that there was an era of my ways
in that mindset.
Well, and I would say that your capacity
to let me talk uninterrupted
is lower than my capacity for you to talk uninterrupted is lower than my capacity
for you to talk uninterrupted. But I think that's a personality thing.
And I don't, you know what I'm saying?
I just think that I can kind of like,
if you spoke for four minutes without me saying anything,
there's certain times where I just kind of settle in
and I'm like, this is, I'm not.
Now listen, let me be very clear.
I like to hear myself talk.
I'm probably perceived as more of an asshole
than you are to most people.
So I'm not defending myself.
I'm just saying in their certain aspects
about the way that those conversations come out
that it might be like, okay, Link's gonna tell this story.
If I say anything, it's gonna be very,
it's not gonna be derailing,
it's gonna be a little bit additive,
it's not gonna be a different perspective,
it's gonna be like an agreement or a little,
or it's not gonna be nothing.
And I just don't think that's your disposition.
I think your disposition is if I'm gonna say something,
it's gonna be like the ping pong ball
came to my side of the table for a second.
So whereas I might enter into more of a hype man
sort of interaction, you enter into the ball
was just volleyed to me, let me say something.
That's a little more substantial
and probably a little weird.
Again, I think that's what people like
about your style of comedy.
But I think that it's interesting when you apply it
to different types of conversations
because I think that if you're telling,
we both like to tell stories
from things that have happened to us.
And I'm not really interested in like
who does more of that or whatever,
but I, because I don't know or care.
But I think when it comes to talking about ideas or things that aren't like
personal experience type thing,
like you'll get on these points about that
and I feel like you're in more of,
that's more of your zone than my zone.
And so I do think there's an interesting interplay
with how we discuss those type of things
that like sometimes it's not like,
okay, you're making a point,
I'm making a counterpoint back and forth.
I think it's more of like, I'm gonna interject things
and explore it, but I'm not gonna be doing it
in the same way that you are.
So it's, and so I think that there's more opportunity
for me to have interruptions that couldn't work
in that setting versus when it's like a story
that we're telling, I don't think that,
I would like to think I don't do that to you
when it's like, oh, like I'm hearing a tale here,
this is happening.
It's a beginning, middle and end, so to speak.
It's not an open-ended conversation
whereas you feel like you're moving towards this point
or this conclusion but I'm feeling like we're having
an open-ended conversation and I think in that dynamic,
it has led to a frustration for the listener.
Well and I do get, as a matter of fact,
I was, I don't know how I got here,
but I was looking at the comments on our appearance
on the H3H3 podcast, which is over a year ago.
And the nature of the questions that Ethan was asking
were very much about like like sort of like theoretical things
about the YouTube platform and stuff that just immediately
like I have all these thoughts about, right?
Yeah.
And people were like Rhett is interrupting Link a bunch.
And so, like I said, the very beginning of this was,
I think it depends on the mode of conversation,
whether somebody, whether you would be like,
well, Rhett is interrupting Link
or Link is interrupting Rhett,
because I don't think this is a one-way thing.
I think that it just kind of depends on the nature
of what it is that's being discussed
and who's more passionate about it.
And so in terms of the, in the context of Ear Biscuits.
I also don't feel like in those instances
where it's like there's a point that you wanna make,
if I do interject, you can get frustrated
because you're trying to make a point.
Whereas when I talk about those same things,
I verbally process it more so I don't necessarily know the exact point I'm making.
I'm putting it out there for like having heard it
and discussed it for us to reach a conclusion together.
And I think that's the different way we approach it.
So I actually don't feel, I don't think I feel
it's sensitive to being interrupted
when we're talking about ideas as you do, but as opposed to when it's sensitive to being interrupted when we're talking about ideas as you do,
but as opposed to when it's a story.
So I might be more sensitive to interrupting during a story
than I am when I'm interrupting during an idea conversation.
Yeah.
Well this has become an interesting conversation.
From your question, from Mariah's question.
Tips for being a less obnoxious conversationalist.
Just talk it out.
We turn a lot of these, again,
this is one of the reasons that we interrupt each other
is we turn these questions into just conversations
about ourselves.
We're both. That's so obnox ourselves. We're both.
That's so obnoxious.
We're both mildly narcissistic.
You kinda have to be in this business.
But we.
I don't think I'm narcissistic.
Well but we took the narcissism quiz.
You remember on the show.
I don't remember.
And we both got the same score.
I don't know, I think I'm a psychopath.
No that's a sense of smell.
But we were, there's a narcissism self-evaluation
that scores you on a scale of like one to 30 or whatever.
And it puts different professions in different places.
Leave it to a narcissist to take a self-evaluation test.
And we, well we did it for the show,
and we both scored, I don't know,
I can't remember the exact number,
but it was like a 14 or whatever,
which is higher than the general population.
So more narcissistic than the general population.
And in sort of the celebrity entertainer range,
we were in the celebrity entertainer range, which is no surprise, this town is full
of self-obsessed people, that's what makes Hollywood
Hollyweird, right?
But we got a little bit of that that kinda got us
into what we do, but hopefully not so much
that we're not able to step back and evaluate it
for the narcissistic assholes that we can be.
Maybe we helped.
Maybe us making it about ourselves helped.
At least it's, just take it for what it's worth.
I mean, I had fun talking about you and me.
I'm disturbed, I've been, you know.
We'll see, we'll see how it goes.
And I'm gonna be sleeping on the other side of the bed.
This is not gonna be a good week for me.
No, you can't have that much change all at once.
It's not gonna be a good week for me.
You need to change one thing at a time.
All right, do you have a rec?
I have a quick rec.
This is a little unusual.
It's a product that is not a sponsor,
but I am making an effort to do less meat-based
and animal-based products in my life and in my food.
Not cutting them out completely.
For the environment?
Well, you know, there's only good reasons for it, right?
Environment, greater ethical reasons, all that.
But one of the ways that I've incorporated that
is into these, speaking of cooking,
I'd make these scrambles a lot of times on Saturday morning
with a lot of the things that we've got in the fridge.
So you got eggs and cheese and some kind of meat
and then mushrooms or onions or whatever we got, right?
Put some hot sauce in it, put in a burrito, it's good.
My wife and I like it, my kids are too picky
so they eat something else.
But I'm slowly moving towards a place
where that entire scramble, even down to the eggs,
is not animal-based.
And one of the steps towards that was the cheese,
and this was a big thing for me,
was substituting vegan cheese,
which I've tried multiple times.
Which is nuts.
No, like literally. Literally nuts.
But I have found what I think is a pretty good cheese
that I've tried on a burger as a slice
and also put the shreds in my scramble,
Daiya, D-A-I-Y-A.
It's like one of the most popular ones
that you'll see when you go to this section
of the grocery store.
But I tried it a couple years ago and I didn't like it.
I don't know if my tastes have changed,
but I think they've actually reformulated it.
It's getting pretty good.
It's not real cheese.
But if you don't eat it next to regular cheese.
Yeah, don't do that.
Don't make that mistake, don't be an idiot.
Just put it into something that would normally have cheese.
There's a bunch of different flavors,
bunch of different presentations
where they're shredded or blocks or slices.
Daiya, D-A-I-Y-A.
I recommend you try it.
Not a sponsor, maybe will be one day.
You said not a sponsor.
Maybe would like to be a sponsor.
I would like them to be a sponsor.
Daya, if you're listening.
Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know what you think about this.
You weigh in on the interruption thing.
I think that's gonna generate a lot of conversation.
Hell, we may have to title it that, Kiko.
Probably.
Probably so.
All right, we're up for it.
Thank you for hanging out and we'll speak at you next week.