Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 208: Why Is Rhett Growing Out His Hair and Beard? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 208

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

His hair went up, but now it's starting to go down. Rhett opens up about how he envisions himself in the future and what let to this decision to change his iconic image on this week's Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are exploring the question, why am I, Rhett, growing out my hair and beard? Why are you growing out your hair and beard? Hair and beard. You're growing out your hair and beard. Why are you growing out your hair and beard?

Hair and beard. You're growing out your hair and beard. Hair and beard, not my hair and beard. That'd be a different thing, it'd be a beard shaped like a heron, which is a bird. Well, you know what, it is starting to assume the shape of something. It's curling forward in the front

and it's almost like there's a beak. It could be from a, oh, I would say, okay, I'm listening. I'm on board for this. Hold on, so. I'm on board for you talking about your facial hair. You cut yourself short. And your hair. And then just said, okay, I'm on board.

Why are we talking like this today? We're talking very staccato. Staccato. Now, are you, tease me, I'm on board, but they may not be, so what are you saying? Tease it, you mean like this? Teasing my hair? Don't tease your hair. There's something to this.

Okay, well. There's rumblings of reasons. So apparently there's enough to talk about. I mean, this may be an announcement to you, but yes, the plan is to grow my hair and my beard out and I have a reason. I knew you were gonna do it, this is not news, but I've only heard the rumblings of the specifics.

And it may not seem like the kind of thing that warrants a conversation on Ear Biscuits, but I think we've demonstrated that it doesn't take much to warrant a conversation on Ear Biscuits. But is there something to this? Like is this gonna go somewhere, this conversation? I mean, I certainly hope so for the sake of the entertainment of the people listening.

You're not really selling it well. Like I'm looking for a teaser like yes, and what I'm really gonna talk about. I have a deeply personal reason that I'm doing it. There it is. How's that for a tease? You have a deep, so it's not a shallow thing, there's a deep element. I mean there could be shallow elements to it as well.

We'll explore all that. Okay, all right. But it started in a deeply personal place. All right, I hereby commit to being actively engaged in ripping you to shreds but also supporting you emotionally. Okay, that's interesting. In this conversation. Okay, that's interesting. This conversation. Okay, before we get into your heron beard,

I can't figure out if this is something to celebrate because it might come across as bragging. Be a braggy daddy. I'm trying to figure out how I wanna approach this. Just be a braggy daddy, man. But I got a new car. Hey, Link, look at you man. Look at me man.

This is not a normal thing for you. I don't get it. This is a long time coming. Yeah like I've been driving this Scion XB that we bought together. How many years ago? Like you've been through a number of cars and I've just been driving the Scion XB. When we first, just to step back a little bit,

when we first moved to LA, we towed my family minivan behind a U-Haul truck and then you took over the lease from somebody in Santa Monica. Yeah, fun fact, life tip. I didn't know this was a thing, but if you need a car for a short period of time, and I needed a car for six months. Because we were saying we were gonna be here

for six months in furnished apartments. Right. We didn't move all of our stuff. You can actually. You left a car back in North Carolina, I guess. Yeah, two of them. You can a car back in North Carolina, I guess. Yeah, two of them. You can take over someone else's lease and there are different websites where you can do it. So it's much cheaper than renting a car.

You don't wanna rent a car for six months. And if you're in a situation like I was and couldn't borrow a car because I was going to a new place where I didn't know anybody, you can take over somebody's lease. I did, it was a Saturn. It's the only time I drove a Saturn

and then Saturn just quit making cars. I went with you to pick it up. Culver City. So that I drove you there because Uber wasn't really popping yet. No, it wasn't Culver City, it was all the way, it was at the beach almost. It was like Cerritos or something.

And we, if I remember correctly, we like went into this guy's apartment. It's like if you go on Craigslist to buy a bike or something. You meet a guy at his apartment, you buy it, but for you it was taking over the lease of a car. It felt a little clandestine. I was like, I don't know if I actually took it over.

I just got the keys and drove away. But there was paperwork and cash involved. Yeah, but all the paperwork was with the bank. And then our second car, when we settled into living here, we leased a Ford Fusion. Ford Fusion. As a company car, which I drove,

and then I would come to your house because we worked in your backyard. Well, between the two families. You didn't have a car. Between the two families, we had three cars total. So y'all had a minivan, we had an SUV, and that was what Jessie and Christy drove because they needed to take the children around.

And then we shared a car. We shared a car because I didn't have a commute. Right, and then we started commuting. We did that for a good while. And then we bought, speaking of cash, we bought the Scion because that's the car that you had back in North Carolina and you liked it because it had storage capacity

and it worked for a tall guy. It's actually good for a tall person. So you could sit up. Still is. Scion is one of the best cars for a tall person. And we had this idea to buy it in cash. Like we had this vision of taking out the cash. Well I think that when people said you buy a car in cash,

we literally thought that meant that you took a stack of cash into the dealership. Well and then. It just really means you just don't finance it. Yeah it just means you like get a cashier's check. But we literally took a stack, I'm sure we told this story. Yeah we took it.

We took a cash, a cash stack. How much money did you say it cost? It was $18,000. Okay. And we put $18,000 in an envelope and walked around. I thought it was gonna be a freaking, I thought we were gonna have to get a duffel bag. I don't know, I just didn't really think about it.

It's not really that much. I mean, I could have put it in my pocket and you would have just thought I was excited. Well, yeah, because. It's not that much money. Yeah, because it's, if you get a $1,000 bill, it's only 18 of those. Those do exist, but I've never seen one.

We got. We got it in hundreds. Yes. We got 18, no, we got 180 $100 bills. Yeah, you don't need a duffel bag for that. And then we like gave it to the guy and he like looked at us kind of weird because it's still like, it's like one stack.

It's, I mean, it's what rappers talk about doing. They got bands. Yeah, I wanna do it more often. He had to take the money and put it in a counter. Yeah, it took twice, had to count it twice, because you know, it's a lot of cash. So I've been driving that thing around for years. I backed into somebody in a Ralph's parking lot,

the bumper's all crapped out, a tail light's busted. What tail? The tail light's been busted for over a year. I've just been driving it, you know? I mean, it's got Bluetooth connectivity to my phone, I can listen to music. That's all you need, Bluetooth.

Although I read recently you should turn your Bluetooth off because it is highly susceptible to security breaches. You should turn your AirDrop, first just turn your Bluetooth off unless you are currently connecting to something that requires Bluetooth. Don't have it on all the time because people be opening up that mouth

and taking advantage of your Bluetooth. Oh really? Your blue teeth, yeah. Yeah, that's what I heard. But you got a new car. So I finally did it. I got a new car and I've had in my mind I wanna get an electric vehicle.

Of course. And I'm like, you know what, this is my opportunity to splurge. You know, I mean, I've done some things to splurge, but this is the first time I'm like, this is the quintessential splurge on myself. Oh come on. That's what I've done. Because you can use a different word.

I got an electric car. I test drove a Tesla and then I looked at the price tag on that thing and I just could not bring myself to do it. Yeah. Especially when you were looking at the X which is just, I mean. if you get one brand new, it's just ridiculous. Because Christy said I didn't need to get the car,

she said I needed to get the SUV, get the X, so that if the whole family needed to go somewhere, we could still all technically get in it. So I'm like, okay, really, that's a requirement? I do think that that's kind of important. Yeah, she talked me into that, because I test drove a BMW, the i3 or something? i3, yeah.

It's like that, it kind of looks like a bigger, slightly bigger, bigger version of a smart car. It's the one that Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel were in the commercial making fun of themselves from talking about the internet in that campaign. Not a lot of bells and whistles on that BMW. I'm like, if I'm gonna get a BMW, it needs to have bells and freaking whistles.

It did not have any and the reason was to keep it lighter so it could have a greater range. And they're still trying to sell you on, and you put a little gas engine in the back as a backup. And I'm like, for some reason, as anxious as I get about things, I wanted to fully commit to an electric car. I mean we also have a gas power car

if we go on like a trip or camping or something. So it's like, I don't have what they call range anxiety. Well you have a- I have all other types of anxiety. Yeah but you've had the car for a week. I mean you don't know what kind of anxiety you're gonna have. Most people have it and it keeps them from considering a fully electric vehicle. I thought range anxiety is when you've had the car for a week. I mean you don't know what kind of anxiety you're gonna have. Most people have it and it keeps them from considering a fully electric vehicle.

I thought range anxiety is when you're in the car and you start looking at that meter. Yes but it starts with deciding if you're gonna, this is gonna be your car. Okay, all right. I think I have that. I looked at the Audi e-tron, I had to sign up on like a waiting list for like months and months and months to get this thing.

So they kind of tricked me into full splurge because you go on and you configure your car and you place an order and they're like, well, you can change this before it goes to the plant to be made. And so I'm like, you know what, I'm going all the way. And I said yes to everything. Yeah.

I never went back onto the screen, which you might call that the website, I call it the screen. And like really say, you know what, I'm not gonna get this because it costs a little more and I'm not gonna get this edition. It's like the first time I've ever said yes to everything, all the accessories for anything.

Yeah. Like I'm usually the one that's like, yeah, I'll get get it but you know, I'm not gonna get this and this and this. Next email I got, they were shipping the thing. Yeah. And I was like, too late now. I've talked my, I backed into the splurge.

And again, I just feel like I'm almost apologizing. But it's like, because I just, yeah I have a hard time spending money. But so I got this thing. Are you apologizing for the massaging seats? It has, it's got seats that massage. I would, and you know what? Your seat gave me a massage.

I don't know if you could tell by the look on my face, but I requested one by pressing the buttons and I got one the other day when I was here. It not only has a massage, it's got like six different types of massage. Yeah, she went up to the shoulders. I don't know why I just said she, the seat. Intensities.

The seat went up to the shoulders, the lower back, mid back, and then I put on the ventilation in your nice leather perforated seats. Yes. Yeah, you do the bragging for me, man. This is good. So I take Lando to school yesterday.

Of course, I usually am the one to take him to school. Christy takes Lincoln to high school, both in high school now, a little bit earlier. And he went around and he got in the front seat. He said, I'm getting in the front seat. And I looked at him weird because like, he insists on me chauffeuring him to school. Like he would always get in the backseat of the Scion.

He would never get in the front seat with me. Really, most kids, as soon as they have the opportunity to get to the front seat are up there. So, and I was like, and I don't exactly know why. My theory was when he got out of the front seat, I'm more visible and if any of the other students can see it's me, he's like self-conscious about his dad being recognized as that guy from the internet.

He hasn't outright told me that, but I think that was part of it. Okay. He wants to slip out of the back and. Put him in the trunk and back into school. Minimize. But he got. Who was that? I don't know.

He's like I'm getting in the front seat. Of course he's in fourth grade now, so maybe he's over the whole dad's famous. He's like, he's realized it's not, who cares? But what he really did was he wanted that massager. I'm like, yeah, okay, here's another benefit. My son is now riding beside me on the way to school. I can actually look at him a little bit

when we're driving in. And he's so relaxed when he gets there. Yeah, he's just like a. To wake him up. Son, we're to school. I can actually look at him a little bit when we're driving in. And he's so relaxed when he gets there. Yeah, he's just like a- To wake him up. Son, we're at school. Like a puddle of mud. But I'll tell you, this thing's got so much stuff, so many cameras, so many blings and blasts

and whistles and alerts and screens that I don't know where to look. Yeah, I mean you were backing up the other day and I actually saw one view was just a colonoscopy of myself. I was like, how did the camera get there? It's actually a- I need to see a doctor. It's a colon cleanse, it's a colonic. It's a colonic. It's a colonic machine.

So it's not doctor certified, it's more just like woo science. Right. Kind of thing. But it drains directly onto the street. It's not like I have to clean it up or anything. Oh gosh. I mean, I don't know if you noticed, but we're going to this, I'm driving, well, first of all, I'm offering to drive now.

Yeah. And then, because I feel like, I feel like I'm just driving, it's free. It's just, I feel like I never go to a gas station. Sure, I plug it into that thing when I get home, but I just feel like it's free fuel. Now the sticker on the car said you save like $2,500 over five years in fuel cost.

I'm like, man, that's depressingly low. Well because you know, the ironic thing is that the fuel that you're using at home, the electricity that you're using at home is most likely generated by fossil fuels. But that is not a reason to not transition to an electric car. One of my main motives.

Because we're in it for the long haul, folks. Yeah, so I mean there's zero emissions. It's better're in it for the long haul, folks. Is for the environment, baby. Yeah, so I mean, there's zero emissions. It's better, yeah, it's the right thing to do, but it is an expensive thing to do at this point and you can't really do it to save money. But it's also a better driving experience. Let me tell you, man, I told Christy first time I got in this thing, I'm like,

we are driving in the future. It just feels that way. It's like, I've never been in a car, I've never owned a car that had acceleration. I'm like accelerating for the first time in a car. Just, and it's exhilarating to accelerate. But let me tell you, with so much to look at and listen to and be distracted by,

I'm putting myself, passengers, and everyone around me in danger. There have been some close calls. You ran two red lights yesterday alone. I never run red lights. Like I ran two red lights yesterday because I'm looking at other things. It already takes you a long time to get in and go,

begin going, because there's lots of things that happen, and then it takes you a long time to get out of the car. It's been taking you, I'd say an extra 45 seconds on top of your already like 120 second routine. Well, I don't even know how to start it yet. Yeah. Running red lights, if I get it started, I mean like, I almost hit a pedestrian.

And here's the thing, it's so quiet. You know they add a little sound? Oh, it's a- Like legally, there's a little sound that they add. It's a futuristic sound. When you pulled up at my house with it for the first time, it was like Like that's the sound.

That is not necessary for the operation of the vehicle. That is added for safety only. Well, and coolness. And in reverse, it makes a different sound. It sounds good. I've reverse it makes a different sound. It sounds good. I've never heard it from the outside. Well let me drive it, I'll drive it around you.

I'll drive a circle around you, you can stand outside and listen to it. Okay, that's about as far as I'll let you drive. I did let Lily drive it. I was pretty nervous about that. Christy has not driven it. So yeah. But you're gonna let her.

I feel guilty about doing it, but I'm also having the time of my life behind the wheel. Yeah man, splurge yourself. And I would think Audi, but it's not like I got a discount, so not a sponsor. I mean you did buy it, you did order it directly after we attended that Aldi dinner. That's true.

That was one of the coolest experiences we've had in terms of the whole name dropping kind of situation. Have we dropped those names? Because let's do it. Don Cheadle. Yeah, we had dinner and a very small group of people and freaking Don Cheadle was there. That's all I gotta say.

I assumed he'd be nice but he was an unexpectedly jovial guy. So nice. Did you know that the first adjective you would use to describe Don Cheadle would be jovial? Like dude is jovial. Yeah, yeah. Almost festive, it felt like Christmas around the guy. And very engaged with whatever it is

that everyone's talking about. Kumail Nanjiani, we sat next to him and we were talking about the e-tron and he was like, I don't quite, I mean it's basically just a station wagon. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's what I want, bro. I mean it's not,

I would have to agree with that. It's kind of a practical thing which makes it, it's not, so I would have to agree with that. It's kind of a practical thing which makes it, it's not like flashy. No. It's got all the bells and whistles. And you also, you went with like, I like the color, it's a cool color, but it's cool because it's not cool.

You know what I'm saying? I never saw it in a car when I ordered it. I was like, oh, this one's like. You got a tan station wagon. Yeah, I did. You got a beige station wagon. It's not really, it's a sexy experience. It looks very futuristic.

Not as much as a Tesla though. Like it's got a grill even though it doesn't need a grill. So many people are driving a Tesla, you know? I mean, around here, it's just like. It basically just looks like another Audi. It looks like it's not a fully electronic vehicle because of the grill and stuff like that. Yeah, until you hear that

incognito. Well, I'm happy for you. No mufflers. No mufflers, that's my favorite part. And yeah, I mean. I got a new car, you get a new hair. The side effect of you driving more though is that you don't, you're not great at carrying on a conversation while driving

so it makes, you know, there's a little bit, that's a little bit of a bummer. Yeah, it's not fully, it'll almost. So engaged. It'll almost drive itself. Yeah. And then I can start talking when I get in that mode. Once I figure out how to use that. Okay, if we have any more harrowing or non-harrowing experiences in your car,

or I get any more massages, we'll keep you updated on that. Need a massage chair. These need to be massage chairs. No, you can't. Keep it to the car. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade.

Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, terms apply. So I think I've only told, the largest group of people I told, I think I told the Mythical Society members during one of the monthly vlogs.

We have like a monthly vlog over there at the Mythical Society. And one of the monthly vlogs, we have like a monthly vlog over there at the Mythical Society and I said I was, I basically said I was thinking about, didn't wanna fully commit to saying that I was growing my hair and my beard out. But I haven't talked about it here. I did say I would talk about why. Well first of all, like most people,

you know, my hair and my beard have a certain cycle. And most people have sort of recognized like, I let my hair or my facial hair grow to this point and then I get it cut. Probably a lot of dudes are like on a monthly schedule. Six weeks maybe. And I just got to the end of one of my cycles and I was like, I don't think I'm gonna cut it.

And you're talking about the hair at this point. Because the beard you would trim more often than that. The beard I would trim more often. But, so the other thing that, so the thing that coincided with this and was the motivation for it, the primary motivation for it is, and I've given a little background on this,

but in therapy, sort of the main thing that I am kind of focusing on. Is style. Yeah, it's just looking better. No, is. Damn, we're already talking about therapy. Moving. That's good.

Moving from the head to the heart. Now, okay, scientifically speaking, is there really a difference? I'm, what I'm talking about is the principle of embodiment. And yeah, we're in LA now and we hang around folks who talk about things like embodiment and do things like embodiment workshops. Yeah, you can shake your head or whatever you do

to those kinds of things if you're not into it. But I would say that as I hopefully have demonstrated and have talked about just the idea of getting more in touch with my feelings because I tend to be a super heady person and actually if you ask me what I'm feeling about something, I will tell you what I'm thinking about it. And this is a pretty, I would say that this is a huge issue.

I don't know how to tell you how I feel, I just tell you how I think. Jimmy Stewart? You can, John Wayne, you can lead a horse. Okay. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him feel. I think Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne had a love child and that's what you just impersonated.

Well, that makes me feel criticized. So, and you know the interesting thing is, and this is a thing that I have discovered in therapy, is I will cry very easily. Feldman, I was at Feldman's wedding this past weekend, I cried at your wedding. Congratulations, Feldman. You made Rhett cry.

Now what kind of cry was it? It was a, it was a, it was a, just a John Paul Jones, for those of you who watch Bachelor in Paradise, it was just a heaving, no it wasn't, it wasn't anything like that. It was just my eyes welled up with tears. I don't believe that a tear dropped. But I got misty-eyed.

You were sad for Stacy? When I thought about what Stacy was gonna have to endure for the next few decades. Joy, we're talking tears of joy. Yeah, and I will cry easily at a movie. I will cry, I will cry at an emotional commercial. Like every once in a while, there's one of those Super Bowl commercials

and it's usually about something like a Dodge truck, but the whole thing is very emotional and it doesn't take much to get the waterworks going for me. But that actually is not evidence of sensitivity. It's actually evidence of my tendency to, because all humans have to have some kind of release of your emotions, right? Now, typically, for me, it's gonna come out

with crying at things that I have no personal stakes in. Sorry to say it, Feldman, I don't have any personal stakes in your marriage. I see your marriage like a commercial that I'm just viewing passively. And so I'm very, it doesn't take much to make me start crying at that because you need to let it out somehow. I wonder what my release is.

I think it might be just clenching my butt hole. Yeah you should see it. Which is ironic. You should see a therapist about that. Not a lot of release associated with clenching but like. Yeah. But that, well there's gotta be, that's the clench. So what is the release for me?

I don't know. A fart. No. I don't know. Well, and the other release for me is anger, which I would think is the same for you as well. You know, you're in that situation where your family really hasn't done anything at all that warrants you being pissed,

but your fuse is pretty short and it's because you gotta, you're dealing with frustrations at work or anxiety about your life or your career or whatever. For me, a lot of times it's just this general level of frustration with the things that we're trying to create and make better and like creative aspirations being, you know, restricted in some way or thinking about the future

and are we still gonna be relevant, whatever. All those things that kind of get rolled up or maybe just you're just doing a whole lot of things at once, the stress comes in and then it's gotta find a way out. And so a lot of times with me, it'll just be an angry outburst, not like physical thing, but just like a short,

uncharitable tone or word with my kids or my wife. And so I'm dealing with that because the thing that my therapist is trying to get me to do is just be like, okay, when you are experiencing something, don't just immediately move to what do you think about it? Because I'm also a huge problem solver. And so if like, if you, even if somebody tells me an issue that they have emotionally,

the way I respond to that is to tell you what you should do. Or even if you know it's not polite to say it because it's like in your mind or in my mind, it's immediately like well if it were me, I would do this. My next step would be this, my action would be this. And this is problematic in relationships of course. So if your wife comes to you and says that this is how I feel about this or I had a bad day

and this is specifically what happened, my typical response is to be like, well, what are we gonna do about it? Here's my advice and what she's not interested in my advice, she's interested in me having some empathy and feeling along with her. Yeah. Now, related to that, one of the things

that I'm trying to do is sort of live more in this part of my body. And so again, these are basically just tools. I don't think that there's some center of mass of my soul that is literally moving down to my heart. But there is this physical question of like, where do I feel this thing? And how do I embody this on a more consistent basis?

So I could be in a situation where I'm just interacting with somebody and I could be like, don't just think about what they're saying and think about this conversation, feel what they're saying and feel this conversation and be in your heart and you will be a more connected, present person. Yeah, we got an advanced copy of our friend Mike,

Science Mike McCarg's new book, which I'm sure we'll talk about more later, but probably shouldn't talk about his book, which he gave us a sneak peek, but screw it. He said, he's talking about how you have a nervous system built around your digestive system, for example. Yeah. Nerves aren't just to feel at your fingertips,

but it's to give feedback. And if I'm not mistaken, like independent of like rational parts of your brain, like, well, I mean, a lot of your nervous system, it just, it works and sends signals and your body responds automatically. Yeah. But there's actually, there's feeling and sensation

associated with these things, whether it's digestion or. Yeah, there is a scientific reality to it. Obviously, I don't understand it or can't explain it as well as Mike can. But knowing that is another access point to I think what you're talking about, which is beginning to awaken to the fact that everything doesn't happen in our rational,

our experience is not just limited to what we can filter rationally. That's what you're saying, right? Yeah, and well, and also it's, if you're like me, you can have a tendency to just come to the conclusion that this is my personality. My personality is not very emotional. Like I'm not one of those emotional people.

There's not a lot of drama. In reality, I'm just really good in certain circumstances at behaving well. But because I'm a human, that stuff that goes in is going to come out in some form like we discussed. And for me, it's these unhealthy ways. So all that to say that sort of my mantra, and this is very difficult to remember to do this.

My mantra has just to be like, be in the heart, be in the heart, you know? And where does my hair and my beard come into this? Well, but even that is the question. But before you answer that, I actually, so if that's your mantra, the thing that you repeat to yourself, A, how do you do that?

And like, what does the mantra part mean? And then what is the specific action point? Like, what do you do to be in the heart? Well, first of all, I'm figuring that out. Now one thing I do is. You said mantra, so first of all, are you like repeating over and over again that phrase? Not out loud necessarily.

It's more when I find myself in a situation, I'm like how can I be more embodied right now in this conversation, in this interaction, in this moment, whatever. But practically, I think it happens in a couple of ways. One is asking myself, what do I feel about something as opposed to just what do I think about it? I think I got enough thinking going on

for like a dozen people. I'm not about to think not feel about something as opposed to just what do I think about it? I think I got enough thinking going on for like a dozen people. I'm not about to think not enough about something. So it's more like, okay, but what I can do, and this closes me off in relationship is to just think about things. And so it's like, okay, well, what do you feel about that? To actually feel it, take a moment to let, where do you feel it?

And what is the feeling? I mean, a lot of times my therapist asks me, but no, no, what, but what do you feel, what do you, how do you feel about that? I'm like, I don't know what I feel about it, but I can tell you what I think about it. So it's asking that question. The second part of it, I think for me,

a big part of being present in a conversation is not, and especially in a group maybe, not necessarily a large group, but where I tend to go into my performance mode, and this gets into a little bit of the, which we still haven't done a podcast on this, the Enneagram stuff, which is essentially just a way to think about your personality.

It's not particularly scientific, but it's not like astrology. It's just based on observation. And I tend to be a performer. And so I kind of adapt to certain environments. So it's like, okay, I'm in this type of environment with these type of people. I'm pretty good at figuring out very quickly,

how do you succeed at being liked in this situation? Like what kind of humor, what kind of conversational topics need to be deployed in this group to be seen as relevant, a leader, just to perform well. That is my default. in this group to be seen as relevant, a leader, just to perform well. That is my default. But for me, it's saying, okay, you gotta break that cycle of trying to perform and move into a place

that is more like not, for me, that's not filtering what I say. Now this is not your issue. you don't have a filter, but I think that that's a healthy thing in a lot of ways. It can get you into trouble and maybe make you have to apologize more than the average person, but for me, it's saying like, I'm actually going to say the first thing that I feel

about this thing that we're talking about, and I'm not going to run it through the, how does this fit into my overall performance in this setting. Now it happens very quickly, right? And it's very difficult to decipher between when is this an authentic, I'm just speaking from the heart and just saying what I think

and when is this my sort of curated thought because I'm so good at getting to the curated thought very quickly. What am I speaking from honesty versus speaking for a fact? Yeah, so I would say practically those are the two things. I'm not saying that I'm good at it. So for the first one, I'm curious,

is there something I would, maybe small, like an example of something where it's like, what was the mantra again? How do I feel about this? Be in the heart. Be in the heart. Like, can you think of a recent example where it's like, where you redirect it in that way? Well, I think it happens more often in,

I think I'm trying to apply it mostly in my conversations with my family or in talking to my mom, I think is a good example of like in her recovery and then she's had a couple of little setbacks with some things unrelated to the ankle that have put her in the hospital, think she's gonna be fine. But even in a conversation with her,

not just being like, okay, my role here is just the inquisitive concerned son. But again, I'm not good at it. And going from the stages of, if you go back before therapy, I was basically unaware that this was a problem. And now I've kind of moved into an awareness that it's a problem, but not necessarily an ability to always act and change. And I'm trying to move to a conscious awareness

where I'm actually actively doing these things. So that's, I don't know how long it's gonna take to get there, that's what I'm working on. But when you're on the phone, you're no longer just asking for like, give me the update. Oh, you had to go back to hospital. What is the doctor saying?

What's the next step? What's the plan? Okay, let me know when you get the results or whatever. Right, you're trying to move beyond just the practical. Yeah, and it's not, again, it's not easy. I'm not good at being, well, how are you feeling about all this? We could be as simple as that,

is like entering into a real conversation. So I don't have a whole lot of examples of like, this is how I do it because it's more just like, I know it's a problem and I'm trying to solve the problem. It's interesting because it's compounded, I would imagine in those moments because it's, for someone who's like, maybe this has always come easy to them

and that's not me either, by the way, but so someone that's not either one of us that it would come easy to, again, just like empathy or like feeling someone's pain is just something that just comes out of them. This is my wife. But so for you, it's interesting that in making that effort, I think I would imagine there's a roadblock.

And I guess I've experienced this too, that like there's an added roadblock of a self-awareness that's like there's a vulnerability to even trying that makes it even more difficult, right? It's like now all of a sudden, I'm gonna, instead of hanging up and saying, love you, mom, I'm gonna say, how do you feel? Or I'm gonna make the decision to share

how what she shared with me made me feel. I'm gonna share that with her. And then it's like, I'm gonna do this now. And it's gonna feel weird to me. It might feel weird to my mom. It might, like what's my tone of voice when I start to exercise empathy? You know, it's like, I would imagine,

because we think similarly in this way that like, we're so self aware that when we start to, you start to engage those things that like, all of these signals keep saying it's not worth it, right? Like even something as simple as like, well, what does my voice sound like when I'm more empathetic, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah,

and I do think it's a separate issue, but yeah, it's a compounding issue. But I think that it's, yeah, and I do think it's a separate issue, but yeah, it's a compounding issue. But I think that it's just something that is, I think that our self-awareness is what makes us good at what we do. Yeah. And it's why we can move into different environments. It's why we can host a podcast the way that we do.

It's why we can host Good Mythical Morning. Yeah. And I'm not. You're aware of how, the better we are, the more we're aware of how every single thing strikes a viewer. We're pretty good at stepping out and observing exactly the way something that we're doing

would be interpreted or understood or experienced by an audience. That's entertainment. While simultaneously being in the moment as much as possible, which does require a level of feigning it as a performer. And I think that being a good performer definitely works against all of this.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? I think that the people who are probably the best and the most embodied, they might be a great dancer. You know what I'm saying? Like if you take something that's like this dancing, oh, you know what? I'm gonna go back to your wedding again.

I did a little dancing at your wedding, not a lot. But again, I dance for show. You know what I'm saying? Traditionally, I move my body in a kind of a weird way and I'm doing it kind of to entertain people who are watching. But. But I'm not dancing like nobody's watching.

And there's, what is the dance, Feldman? When everybody was circling your moms. The Mitzka. The Mitzka. So everybody starts doing these concentric circles of. Oh that's the Hora. The Hora. Okay the Hora.

Before it's the Mitzka, that's the crowning service and then, or the crowning ceremony when the parents, the last children of the parents are married off. They get crowned. Oh when the last children of the parents are married off, they get crowned. Oh, when the last children of the parents are married off, they get crowned and everyone dances in concentric circles. Kisses them and then it goes,

and then our DJ mixed it into the hora. And then he mixed it into the hora. But okay, so it was a communal dance, which by definition is not about an individual's performance. And it's funny because I felt, having never done it, there's this, yeah, I felt the same thing that I think you're describing, which is like, all of a sudden we're like linking hands with people,

Christy and then somebody I didn't even know, and then we're like doing these, I can see you on the other side of the circle out of the corner of my eye. I know that you're probably having a similar experience to me, which is like, I'm doing this, but I'm not really giving myself over to it. Right?

It's like, I'm conjuring up the, like, I'm setting my pride aside that this is about being a part of something. But I will say that even in that moment, I am doing it more than I ever have. I am giving myself over to the joy of dancing in a circle. Really. And that's the exercise.

Yeah. Because the natural inclination is, well, like, if there's a, if the whole mob of people on the dance floor form a circle, and then they want someone to go in there and show what's up, then it's like, oh, there's an opportunity to perform. It's like, yes, I'm going to do that. Well, and I'm a little, I'm a little shy in those situations,

but then if the right opportunity strikes, I will go into the circle and make a memory for people. But the giving yourself over to dance in a communal environment like that. And that's why in these, I haven't been to an embodiment workshop, but an embodiment workshop does involve, you have been to this. I have.

I've done it. Does involve like freely moving your body in a way that is without self-regard, you know, without self-consciousness. And yeah, this is all related to what I'm kind of dealing with in therapy. And I do think that our reputation, I don't know, again, I think that this is definitely an issue

for both of us, this is an issue for everyone. Everyone has this like, I am this kind of person and I don't wanna feel uncomfortable and I don't want anybody to make me feel uncomfortable. Everybody has their own version of what that is. But I think in my family growing up, it's like we kind of prided ourselves on being good at things and seeming like we know

what the hell we're talking about. And if we don't know what the hell we're talking about, we're probably not gonna talk about it. But we think that we know a lot about a lot of things, so we end up talking about a lot of things. And it's like, again, yeah, it's, and then there's the opposite of that which is just like this, if you just picture this like,

hippie just moving their body to the music at Woodstock. It's like that person, now first of all, because you're humans and we all have egos, I understand how, and this is what we're gonna get into when we talk about My Heron in a second, when we finally get to My Heron Beard, the act of seeming like you don't give a fuck can actually become very much that you do care a lot

about how you're being perceived because it's very difficult for humans to parse that. Okay. And it might be difficult to decipher between this person really is embodied and doesn't care about what people think about them. They look exactly like this person, but this person actually is doing this

because they care about what people think. I think, okay, I'm starting to understand where you're going, so just hit us with the hair therapy. Oh, the therapy. Therapy. That's what, the therapy. Hit us with that. Okay, in trying to find

other practical things that I can do to reinforce this sort of direction that I am moving as a person, in the same way that someone might wear, oh, I've got this little rubber band that every time I see it, I think be in the heart, you know, there's some kind of physical clue or a... Maybe a tattoo of a heart. Something that helps you. On your heart.

No, there's a word for that, but I don't know exactly what it is. I think that if I look at a picture of the future me and it's the more embodied me, if I look at a picture of the future me and it's the more embodied me, he has long hair and a beard and a long beard. Why? Well, you know, you think about someone who has thrown caution to the wind

and is sort of just trying to be in concert with the forces of the universe and is a member, is a interdependent member of the global community. There's a reason that you see somebody with long hair and a beard and you're like, okay, they're either homeless or Jesus. You know what I'm saying? Or.

You're saying enlightened? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying enlightened by any means. I'm just saying that like they kind of look like they're not trying a whole lot to like get everything exactly trimmed up and combed in exactly the right way to then get into the mold that people expect.

But I also think that- So you're saying grooming. There's a reason that- There's a correlation between grooming and like- Well, I think this is pretty simple. Yeah, just to state it simply. If you go to Woodstock, you didn't see a lot of people with buzz cuts and military style haircuts.

It was like long hair, beard, hippie, no bras. It's a relaxing of standards and a relaxing of trying to hold some sort of mold and fit into a certain thing. Now, again, we'll talk about how, well, they actually became, the counterculture became the culture in a lot of ways and subcultures become oppressive cultures that expect people to do something to fit in. We're not talking about that.

But to state it simply, a lack of, like a loosening of outward perceived grooming is a reflection of more of an inward grooming. Like spending your energy on not how other people perceive you externally, but how you perceive yourself internally. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, it's the, again, it's the- Which is different than saying, you know, I wanna become more woke. I wanna be like a guru, so I wanna look like a guru. Yeah, you're not saying that. Yeah, I'm not saying that at all. Now, that is the underlying reason. Now, there's a-

But don't say but yet, just one more, so, and you got excited about that thought because, first of all, you wanted something physical that you could do for yourself. I think that. And that's what you came up with. I think that I feel like I'm in a pretty lengthy but very purposeful personal transition.

Been in it for a while. I hope to always be in transition, right? But I kinda have a little bit more, last few years have been, the last decade has been pretty interesting in terms of like figuring out who is it that I want to be? Like what I want my life to be defined by. And I do think that some of that has come in,

come more into focus in the past few years. And so I think that this is just, this feels like sort of an alignment as you try to grab things in your life and align them towards something. An outward sign of an inward commitment. Yes, like baptism that we learned about growing up. And now, I will also say that there are,

because I am a person who's on camera and I do care about my appearance, I cannot help but think, oh, but it's also kind of cool to try something. I haven't done this, I haven't grown my hair and my beard out, I wanna see what happens. Let's see what I can turn into physically, like a completely superficial perspective.

That I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that, though this is all about embodiment and being in the heart and that's why I wanna look like I'm at Woodstock. No, it's also, it's kinda, I mean, there's a reason that it's kinda cool. You look at those pictures and like, those people were kinda cool, right? And so there's, I understand that there's a reason that it's kind of cool. You look at those pictures and like those people were kind of cool, right? And so there's, I understand that that's,

that is a potential pitfall in this whole process is that because it is about an external thing and then that could become some driving force and then I'm actually trying to be cool or thinking that I'm cool and then I'm kind of working against the whole thing. Right, can you have your cake and smoke it too? Because if this was not, this is not about humility.

Because I think we're all very clear on the fact that if this was about humility, I would shave my head and shave my beard. And I would look like the end of a pencil, like an eraser. And you know, I don't have a chin, that's worth talking about. And I just, I would not look, for some reason I did that on my wedding day, yes,

but I didn't look good and it would not be attractive to the average person and so if I wanted to be humble, I would do, that's more like a Buddhist tradition, right, is to like shave it all off, you're kind of, you're dying to yourself, you're becoming more like this other community, there's less things that distinguish you from another person, so the ego continues to die. I mean this is something that's in many different religions

but I think the Buddhists haven't figured out the most. And like this ego death thing, right? And so I am interested in ego death and continuing to like tear apart my ego that is a source of a lot of my problems. But growing out your beard and hair is not going to contribute to that. Right.

It might do the opposite. It might do the opposite. I agree, I think you're gonna look cooler. You know, it's like, it's someone who doesn't care, but cares so much about, could be caring so much about not seeming like he cares. That's cool.

And in this town especially, where there's all types of people doing different things physically and they all look like they're trying really hard, even the people who look like they're not trying. Literally the only people who look like they're not trying are the homeless people, to be frank. And sometimes you see somebody in Silver Lake and you're like, homeless or hipster?

It's a game you can play. Because there's a fine line. Because the unkempt beard and hair and ratty clothes can be like a cool thing in certain cultures. Yeah, so I'm a little nervous about that. I will also say that I cannot guarantee that there will not be some other project or something that we commit ourselves to that means that I can't let it keep growing,

that I have to cut it for some reason. I don't know what that is. I have determined that like, you know, the typical stuff that we do, Good Mythical Morning, whatever, is not going to be significantly impacted by me growing my hair and my beard out. Now, I'm gonna continue to get more food on my beard

when I eat and eating is a big part of our show. You gotta get better at that. But I am trimming, so I tried to just send the mustache sideways but the nature of my hair is that it's so wiry and even with like the strongest mustache wax I could find, it quickly goes back down. So I will be trimming the mustache,

is the only thing I plan to trim, at least for a while. Like I'm not gonna like try to be shaping the beard into something that's like, oh, that guy goes and gets his beard trimmed. Maybe I'll do that at some point, but this is really just about what's gonna happen. But you're doing it, just to recenter here, and just to couch the challenge that faces you.

You're doing this in order to care less about how you're perceived. I would say that is a secondary reason. I think that this is a physical manifestation of something I'm trying to manifest internally, which is being more present, more out of my head and into my heart. So as more hair grows out of your head,

that's a reminder, I'm getting a little too technical. Yeah, it's not like some super, I didn't like go up to the top of the mountain and that's a reminder, I'm getting a little too technical, aren't I? Yeah, it's not like some super, I didn't like go up to the top of the mountain and wait for a sign. I mean, it wasn't like some, I had a dream and it is to never cut my hair again. You know, that's not what's going on. It's just like, hey, there's a few things lining up here.

But I guess when you really try to summarize it, I'm trying to be more, like get more in touch with my feelings or say it different ways, like be more, like live more from my heart than my head. Therefore, I'm letting my hair grow out. It's like, I don't, if you just told somebody that, it wouldn't. I don't, I think I disagree with you.

Because I think that if you think about somebody, if you just talk about the idea of embodiment and you use the example of like what was, and I realize that the cultural revolution that happened in the 60s and the 70s was kind of rebelling against conformity and societal expectations and that's why, and that's one of the reasons people

were growing their hair out because it was like, well men are not supposed to grow their hair out so we're gonna do that because it's counterculture but I think that that whole like awakening and sort of like being present and being in the moment that kind of came with like embracing some Eastern philosophies, I think there's a reason that you, there is a reason that you,

there is a reason that you picture somebody, when you see somebody with like a military style haircut that's like all kind of like perfectly shaped and clean shaven and stuff like that, that doesn't say to you that person's living in their heart. I'm not saying, it's superficial because obviously you can have no hair and be in your heart. Yeah, inward focus versus outward focus.

Yeah. Your own disposition. Yeah. And then one example, like you're saying, a secondary thing of an outward focus would be people's perception of you. So then the thing given our line of work is that you're gonna get more feedback.

Having changed my hairstyle drastically a couple of times, I weathered the storm of a cavalcade of feedback. It's like it draws more attention. So it's like you're gonna have to weather that. And a lot of that, some of that will be negative. Like, the reason why I'm staying out of this is because first of all, it's not my place to give an opinion.

This is something that's, you know, for obvious reasons that we've discussed for 40 minutes. But also, I'm not opposed to it because I don't think it's gonna make you less cool. But I could be wrong and at that point, there may need to be an intervention. But for now, I'm quietly supportive from the sidelines. I don't know how.

But how are you gonna weather the storm of increased scrutiny? You gonna be replying to comments? You gonna be posting selfies of beard progress? I mean, potentially, yeah, that second on that, I'm not gonna be replying to comments? You gonna be posting selfies of beard progress? I mean, potentially, yeah, that second on that, I'm not gonna be replying to comments. What are you talking about, like people's critical comments? I'm just saying if this is an inward focus,

there's gonna be a temptation because there's gonna be so much outward perception. Yeah, you might say, why didn't you just let this happen instead of talking about it? Well, it's like you're already talking about it. But now what's the plan moving forward? You're a biscueteer. Are we gonna keep talking about it? Well it's like you're already talking about it. But now what's the plan moving forward? You're a biscueteer. Are we gonna keep talking about,

are you gonna post selfies of your beard growth? Because that seems a little counter to your. I don't have to post selfies of my beard growth because my beard growth is going to be cataloged through all the work that we do. I was just giving a working example of just trying to highlight the challenge that faces you. I was just given a working example of just trying to highlight the challenge that faces you. Well.

The more you wanna focus inward, the more people are gonna focus on what you've done different outwardly. I personally don't, I'm not a huge fan when people talk about things in the way that I talked about it today. I'm just like, just keep that to yourself, bro. But the reason that I'm just like, just keep that to yourself, bruh. But the reason that I'm talking about it is because

if I grow my hair and my beard out, all the assumptions, there would be just lots of speculation like, oh, they have a project, in fact, I've already seen it. They have a project and that's why Rhett's doing this. He's gonna be some character in something that they're doing. A lot of people thought that my fake beard was back because my real beard long, especially with my mustache kind of brushed out to the side,

looked a lot like my fake beard. And so people were like, he shaved his beard off. And it's like, don't, if you're gonna speculate, at least you can know and maybe be even supportive of what my actual reason is. You didn't see any speculative comments that went something like, I bet this is an outward expression of an inward reality as a result of, you know, investing himself in therapy.

Yeah, I didn't expect that. That's why I'm talking about it. Yeah, you're not seeing any of that yet. And I'm also, you know, I'm a huge advocate for it. It's been, I'm a huge advocate for therapy for people who think they don't need it because that was me. You know what I'm saying?

It's for people who are like, I don't have an acute mental problem or emotional problem or even an acute trauma that I'm trying to work through. I'm just a person, I'm just a human. And I realize that therapy is a privilege, the fact that I can pay for it and I can afford it. Not everybody can do that. I'm just saying that for me,

and it also seems like the most Los Angeles thing that you can possibly talk about is therapy. I get all that. I grew up in Buies Creek, you know what I'm saying? I still understand what that's about. But I want, because it's been so significant to tackle these things personally, I just wanna continue to be an advocate for it.

So I wanna be open about it, I wanna be vulnerable about it. I wanna talk about the changes that are taking place. So somebody else can learn before they turn 40 that hey, this stuff is very much worth dealing with now. I appreciate that. So when you see my long hair, long bearded self, you can just remember, I should go to therapy. Yeah, I really appreciate you sharing that

and it makes it really difficult for me to make fun of you but I'm still gonna try. Also, can you find me as the therapist? I just, you know, it's like, it's not easy. Yeah. Of course, I haven't really tried. I mean, I've. You don't have to, it's like.

I'm very much in favor of it, but it's such a daunting task to get off the dime. I'm afraid that something, I'm gonna have to like, I don't know, something horrible's gonna have to happen for me to say I have to get a therapist. And that's not, I don't want that to be the case. You can, there's many different resources that you can go and look at.

I mean, in fact, this wasn't gonna be my rec. Oh, let's go to a rec. And I don't. And make this it. I guess it's psychology.com, which we've actually, I think we've used several articles from psychology.com. Psychology.com? You can go on psychology.com,

go type in where you're at and what you need and what specific specialty you're interested in and then therapists in your area, their profiles will come up and there's like a little bit of information about them and then links to their personal website if they have one and their contact information, including the insurance that they accept. So yeah, and I'm sure there's other resources. Again, this is not a sponsor, this is just a rec

and I actually recommended it to somebody else recently. And so I don't know if there's a specific section for that. The website looks like it from 19-freaking-91. Yeah, I mean, you know what, you don't have to be new school. But yeah, I think that there is a... Therapist directory, yeah, there we go. Yeah, therapist directory. And like a. Therapist directory, yeah there we go. Yeah, therapist directory.

And like a lot of therapists in your area will come up as you put in your information and then you can, the ones that support, you know, take your insurance, you can, I guess you can just call them or email them and tell them what you're after. You can see pictures of people if you're the kind of person that needs to see a picture of someone and know what it's gonna be like to sit across from them.

I had another rec and I'll just save that one. Save it, man, this is a good one. Let's see, what should my therapist specialty be? ADD, addiction, adolescent, adults, aging, agoraphobia. I'm in the A's. You're just in the the age. Yeah, there's a lot. You don't even necessarily have to specify a specialty. Yeah, there's not, I mean, think of anything. You are an adult though, you could just put adult.

Adults. Or you could go to a children's therapist. I'm gonna put a- See how that goes. I'm gonna put adults. I thought you went to a children's therapist. He also, yeah, he's just family and kids as well. Yeah, you made a joke about something you're actually doing. All right, hashtag Earbiscuits, let us know. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. to a children's therapist. He also, he's just family and kids as well. Yeah, you made a joke about something

you're actually doing. All right, hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know. What, we gotta title this one, therapy and what does therapy have to do with Rhett's hair? I think it's, you know, I appreciate the fact that we had a great discussion. Why am I growing my hair out? It wasn't.

Probably more clickable though. It wasn't, you know. And that's what we're trying to do. I'm so glad this was meaningful and not just about your hair actually. Oh. What a relief. Well, thank you. You know, I'm proud of us.

I'm proud of you. Me too, Link. All right, I'm really trying to feel. I'm trying to be in my heart. What do you feel right now? I feel like this is over. Yeah.