Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 87: "Our Road Rage Incident" ft. Rhett & Link | Ear Biscuits Ep. 87
Episode Date: March 27, 2017In the Season 3 premiere of ' Ear Biscuits,' Rhett & Link discuss how to deal with road rage, what you can tell about someone from the car they drive, our ideal looks as old men and more! Be sure to w...atch our all new video version of 'Ear Biscuits' on our new channel, This is Mythical: goo.gl/UMXvuW. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This is Mythical.
Welcome to Ear Biscuits.
Today at the round table of dim lighting, it's us.
Hey!
Me, Link.
And me, Rhett.
It's been a while since we've ear biscuited.
And here we are doing it with a video component.
Yes, for those of you who are just listening to this ear-biscuit,
you would be in the know if you were watching the video version,
and you would know that I have on a hoodie.
Link has on a plaid shirt.
And I'm drinking.
I'm also drinking.
From a mug.
I'm drinking a beverage, also drinking. From a mug.
I'm drinking a beverage, a Dr. Pepper beverage, not a sponsor.
I'm drinking some sort of grapefruit thing.
Turn my, crank my knob a little bit.
There we go.
Turn up my volume.
Is that a euphemism for something?
No, it's not.
I just wanted to hear all of us a little bit louder.
Okay, wow. Okay, how's that sound? We're controlling the audio on this end here.
That's just for us. That has nothing to do with your listening abilities or the quality of your listening experience.
Yeah, so there was quite a break between season two and season three of Ear Biscuits, but we are back.
And yes, we're bringing you the audio and the video experience.
And we're doing this every Monday morning now.
Yes.
So this is coming out.
We're not doing this on Monday morning, but you can receive it into your ears
and also now your eyes, although we are not going to change it to eye biscuits
because that sounds like an Apple product that got shelved.
It sounds like a problem.
Like something you need to see the doctor about.
Doctor, I can't get rid of these eye biscuits.
It sounds like something you wake up with.
Of course, ear biscuits kind of seem like that too.
I've always thought that.
It's wax.
I've always thought that it was just wax.
It's wax that comes out in like a sandwichable form.
An ear biscuit is an audio waveform file that we create that then we upload to the internets
and then you find different and various ways
to impute it into your brain.
I don't think we need to tell people what it is
except to like what we intend to do with it.
I thought I was gonna explain how podcasts work.
I thought that's what this first one was about.
It was all about how podcasts work.
Isn't that the subject today?
No. Okay, that's that the subject today? No.
Okay, that's not the subject today.
We're just gonna talk to each other.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the plan.
Right.
For this is we're gonna speak to one another.
Let's speak to one another.
Let's speak.
This is good so far.
Yeah, right. I like speaking to you, man.
We could all speak to one another.
Now, if you-
We don't do enough of that on the internet.
If you enjoyed the first couple of seasons of,
and listen, I'm gonna have to figure out
which camera I'm gonna look at.
I'm just gonna look at whatever camera feels natural,
or maybe just look at you, or maybe just look up.
Well, if you're talking to me, look at me.
Okay.
And if you're talking to-
I'm talking to-
The listener.
To the listener right now.
Look at the listener.
If you enjoyed season one and two of Ear Biscuits,
you know that usually
what we did is we brought in a guest.
They were often
an internet star of some sort
and they signed this table
and we kind of drilled them with some questions
and took you on a journey into
their lives and some people cried
sometimes. That was unexpected.
Well, except we tried to get it to happen.
And that is going to happen on season three,
but season three is going to be a little bit different
in that more and varied things will happen on season three.
So sometimes we'll talk to each other.
Sometimes we'll talk to somebody from the internet.
Sometimes we'll just talk to somebody that interests us.
Well, and I don't want to say all the...
We don't know what we're gonna do.
Sometimes we're gonna do...
We're holding it all very loosely, like a baby bird that has fallen out of the nest.
You don't want to hold it tight. You want to hold it loose and you want to let it
fly right back up to the mom. But if it can't fly yet, you gotta trash it.
Because once you touch it, the mom is going to reject it.
Actually, that's not true. That is a myth.
What do you mean you...
It's a myth. It's a myth. It's a myth.
But you weren't touching it. You were just touching it lightly.
So the analogy doesn't work. Once you touch it...
But if once you touch it heavily, then the mama won't take it back.
It's actually a myth.
Are you saying it's a myth?
If a baby bird falls out of the mom's nest, touch it lightly, but do put it back
because it will not be rejected. That's a myth. I'm not 100% sure. That's why we
have an internet connection here, Link, and you look that up and confirm because
facts are going to be important. And it hasn't been important before, but in
season three of Ear Biscuits, facts are important.
If you touch a baby bird, will its mom abandon it? Why are there so many words when all I need is a yes or no? A yes or a no. I mean, the reason why Mental
Floss wrote a whole article is because of these ads. 31 adorable slang terms for sex
from the last 600 years. That's quite a diversion. What's the answer? There's a wire
above Manhattan that you've probably never noticed.
You're getting distracted by the side articles right now
and all we need is a fact check, man.
The best breakfast spot in all 50 states.
What is that?
Is that just Denny's?
Dr. Strange is bleeding.
What, I gotta click on that.
Is it the different breakfast spots in all 50 states
or is it one place that you can go to all 50 states
like Cracker Barrel or Denny's?
These days I feel bad about that and by that I think they mean touching a baby bird.
It turns out my mom is full of bologna.
Please answer the question.
Your mom is full of bologna.
Yep. It is a myth. You can touch a baby bird.
Yeah, I didn't read the article but from that one thing about where they said bologna,
I think that's what it boils down to.
So facts are really important, and we think based on just one website that is a myth.
You can touch a baby bird.
But back to the analogy.
We're going to hold the baby bird.
That is our podcast called Ear Biscuits.
And I can explain how a podcast works, but I'm not going to because you probably already know,
and maybe you're not interested, and that's not why you're here.
But we're going to hold it lightly, and we're going to bring it right back up
to the nest, and the nest is your ear, or maybe, you know, wherever you typically
let podcasts into your body.
I feel like I'm going to talk less now that we have video because I rest easy
knowing that, like, my exasperated look for that whole tirade is not anything
that I need to vie for.
Yeah, right, yeah.
You got all the attention you needed while I was doing that.
Just with a look.
I didn't have to.
But I do, you should also hold other human babies lightly that aren't your own.
Unless you're trying to keep them out of a wolf's mouth or something like that.
Then hold it, to grip it, vice.
Yeah, yeah, you don't't wanna let an animal take it.
Vice grip it.
But who knows what all we're gonna try
here at the Round Table of Dim Lighting.
So I'm not gonna put a finite ending on the list.
I'm gonna leave an ellipses.
A dot and a dot and a dot.
Yeah, right.
I think at least for this podcast,
the general principle is there are things that,
and we said this before,
we said this in the context of Good Mythical More,
but I'll say it here too.
There are things that we find ourselves talking about.
It's like, yeah, let's save it.
Or as much as we talk to each other,
there's still other things we can talk about.
Right, there's always something to talk about.
Like what happened in the car the other day when we left for lunch
and we were driving across Burbank, I guess.
You wanna tell them about that?
I think we should tell them about that.
I thought that was the kind of thing that we would keep to ourselves.
Because, well...
And take to our graves.
Well, we almost got in a car accident. It wasn't my fault.
It was my fault. I was driving.
But then we got, we almost got in an altercation.
There was a little bit of, I'll call it simulated road rage.
Okay.
Maybe on someone's part, maybe mine.
Okay.
And you, a few minutes later, after the whole thing resolved in whatever way we will explain.
I had an opinion about the way you handled it.
You had an opinion about it.
Well, can I at least just skid the setup?
But then we had to get to where we were going
to do what we were doing,
which I don't even remember what that was.
Who cares at this point?
Who even cares?
Right, we're just going from point A to point B.
You could fill in the blank with whatever it is.
And we never came back to fully discussing what happened.
And I think that they should be a part of this.
Now we can have the listener,
or the watcher and listener. The wissener. The wissener can be a part of this. Now we can have the listener, or the watcher and listener.
The wissener.
The wissener can be a part of this.
Or the watcher.
I like the wissener.
The wisseners and watchers.
Welcome, wissenos.
Okay, so.
Since you're driving, you're gonna start this.
I've been in, quite a lot of traffic things
have happened lately.
You know, I told the story on Good Mythical More
about the wreck that I was in.
Where you were rear-ended?
I was rear-ended.
What is it my fault?
But this situation was my fault.
It was one of those situations where I didn't know what lane I should be in to turn,
and I was kind of stalling out.
We were kind of waiting for like...
Well, you were looking at the GPS.
Oh, yeah.
I was waiting for the GPS to update to tell me which direction to go
and I kind of slowed down and moved over and there was a guy behind me who got
very frustrated with me and then it looked like I was about to take a left.
Yeah, I didn't know any of this was happening.
And it looked like I was about to take a left and then I didn't and I got right
back in the lane and kept going.
But by it looked like you were gonna take a left, I think what you mean is at
the intersection, you were in the left turn lane and you had your left turn
signal on.
Yeah, yeah.
I was giving every indication was that I was going to turn left.
I don't know why.
It looked like maybe a little bit I was going to take a left.
Basically.
Every single way.
Right.
You even started to take a left.
But in my defense, I did not have my left arm out the window pointing left,
which would have been the additional key that would have been definitely
confirming the fact that I was going left.
If you were on a bike!
I didn't yell out, hey, I'm turning left! I didn't, I mean, it could have been
more obvious.
Coming through if you're on my left!
But the typical circumstances were, yes, this guy's turning left.
And then I decided not to turn left. And I decided to pull right back out into
the regular road,
and that was when I pulled in front of a guy who...
And I didn't, again, I didn't see...
Was upset at me.
I just tried to clear my... I was gonna say clear my airway.
But I'm totally... I can't hear anything right now
because I tried to equalize.
What are you, a diver?
What's going on here?
I cannot hear you! Hold on!
You're a man who's nearly at sea level in the air, and you're like,
I was trying to equalize. What for? We haven't changed altitude in the past
five hours. Why are you suddenly trying to equalize?
Because...
Do you do this often?
I've done it over the past week because of the head cold I have.
Oh. Okay, that's not really equalizing.
Well, maybe it is, I don't know.
Oh my goodness.
Hold that bird.
Turn my notch.
Notch my turn a little bit.
You want it up?
Up.
I'm floating.
Okay, so is that better?
Yeah, I'm gonna live with this.
Okay, wow.
That was interesting.
I didn't mean to derail your story.
Did you see me grab my nose in the middle of you talking?
I was intentionally not looking at you.
Well see if you weren't listening,
so if you were watching the watchable.
Link is now equalized for those of you
who were worried about it. I'm actually not.
But I'm just gonna, I think over time it's.
Link is not equalized but we have turned the volume up
in his headphones.
I hear a little.
Okay, yeah it'll be like a balloon
that's slowly deflating.
Now, I did not have any purview to what was happening,
and I didn't use that word right,
but I didn't view anything that was happening.
It made sense in context.
The mirrors weren't for me, they're for you.
So the first thing I know is that you're swerving back
a little bit and I do hear a honk.
And the car does not come by.
So no one's zoomed by you.
So I just had to assume the guy was still behind us.
Right. I never looked back.
But at that moment, if I'm gonna go back to that place,
I don't know what it was, but in that moment,
I just, I was instantly angry.
Like I was legitimately angry that he honked the horn at you.
You might have a problem.
And I think what I said was,
I don't remember what I said to you.
You didn't even know that I had, what I had done.
I know I knew that you had swerved a little bit,
but what I said was, like he's never made a traffic mistake.
Well, and-
I said that to you.
And then we pull up to the, we're at the light.
Well, it was like another block, and that's all I said.
It was like he's never made a, like,
what right does he have to blow the horn?
Well, let's just get to the part
where you begin asking him those questions.
Because.
I don't know what it is that in that moment of,
I don't know if it was strength or weakness
or just feeble-mindedness, but I was just angry.
I just felt like, I don't know if it was defense for a friend
and you felt vulnerable.
All I know is that I saw him get out from behind me
as we were pulling up to the light, and he pulled beside us,
and that was when Link rolled down his window.
I rolled down my window as he was coming by.
And I braced myself a little bit.
Tell him what you said, Link.
I had made up my mind that if when we get up to this light,
he pulls up beside us and has something to say,
I'm gonna say something back to him
because I'm mad at this guy.
I just don't... I'm sure he's made a mistake too.
Not currently, but previously.
At some point in his life.
At some point in his life, he's made a traffic mistake.
This is a great strategy.
And I don't know, I just felt feisty.
I noticed.
I just felt... I was like itching for, I don't know.
But he started.
To be punched, I guess.
He started, he was like... I did not say the first word, you're exactly right. He was like...ching for... I don't know. But he started. To be punched, I guess. He started. He was like...
I did not say the first word. You're exactly right.
He was like...
But I rolled the window down.
He was like, what?!
Now he didn't pull right beside us. He pulled a half a car length in front
and then he looked back.
He was a 45 away.
He was a 45 degree angle to me on my side.
But he was like, what?!
And then he said, what the... are you looking at?
What do you want?! But what was the... The? And then he said, what the... are you looking at?
What do you want?
But what was the...
The blank was a wordy dirt.
Was it the F one?
It was the F word.
Really?
And I'm not talking about...
Frankie.
Frankie. No, I'm not.
And he was clearly mad.
He was... you instigate... basically you instigated.
He was mad already, but when you rolled down the window, he was like...
he was ready.
He was the kind of guy who is ready for the window roll and is... Well, he was mad already, but when you rolled down the window, he was like, he was ready. He was the kind of guy who is ready for the window roll
and has his catchphrase.
He was mad, but it turns out so was I.
And that's when you said,
an interesting tactic, by the way.
I'm trying to remember exactly how I said it.
I think I said,
have you never done anything wrong before?
Have you never messed up?
And just like that.
I'm not proud of it.
And I think as we analyze this, I will be penitent.
And I'll say, you know what?
I shouldn't have done any of this.
And I'm not bragging.
But I do think it's funny that I did this.
It's ridiculous.
It's definitely funny.
It's stupid.
But I thought that, well, that's what I said.
That's what I said.
And then he's like, well, you shouldn't be driving,
basically, I'm paraphrasing at this point,
but you shouldn't be driving like that, you're an idiot.
And then that's when I said, well, actually,
and let me just say, I said it just like this,
well actually, that loud, well actually, I'm the idiot
because I'm the one who's driving. You should be yelling at me.
And I thought that was a great tactic, but then you picked it right back up.
And I was like, because he didn't answer my question,
I was like, have you never made a traffic mistake?
And he said, why are you upset?
Or something like that.
He was like, why are you so upset?
Or why are you yelling?
And I'm like, and he was kind of yelling.
And then I was like, I'm just matching your level.
Which I guess wasn't true.
It was true. He yelled first, right?
I was just matching his level.
But that's not the kind of thing you say
in an argument like that.
I was just matching your level?
I'm just matching your level, man!
Like what, what does that accomplish?
Stop it, it was my reason.
I mean, what I, so.
It wasn't a reason.
What I'll say now and what I said after the,
I think what happened was, he was like,
why is this guy saying these kinds of things to me?
This is not the kind of road rage argument
that I typically get into.
He's questioning my past and now he's questioning,
he's matching my level and he's pointing that out to me.
You're like having a meta conversation
in the middle of a road rage argument.
And I didn't think I would be.
But you're yelling while you're doing this.
This embarrassed to talk about it later
but I thought it would be better reliving it.
I thought I would.
It's not gonna be better, it's worse.
I thought by this point in retelling the story
I would have found a way to be the hero.
Well.
Hey man, listen, how about this?
Are you reliving it?
I'm taking up for you, man.
No, I appreciate you doing it,
even though I don't really feel like
that's what was happening.
I think you just were feisty and you were like,
I wanna yell at this dude, I wanna see what happens,
see where this goes.
You like to experiment with that,
like you like to push people's buttons, you've always been that way. And I was very at this dude, I wanna see what happens, see where this goes, you like to experiment with that, like you like to push people's buttons,
you've always been that way.
And I was very entertained by it,
and my tactic was to take this,
you should be yelling at me because I'm the one who did it,
I'm the idiot, because I thought that was funny
to say those things.
Now, but then as this.
And I will admit, so there was a part of me,
maybe 50% of my motivation was
Entertainment.
Entertainment.
Yeah, clearly.
And the other 50% was, yeah, the first thing was
I'm angry because I just don't feel like,
I feel like we should extend grace to everyone on the road
because we've all been there.
And it just, I don't know, something in that honk said,
I've never done this before, how could you do this?
That was so stupid.
It wasn't life or death.
No, it was just a corrective honk.
I mean, I accept the honk, I think the honk was appropriate
and I accepted it.
Because I would issue a honk in that situation.
I wouldn't issue the bird, I wouldn't unleash the bird
and let it fly.
I would hold it loosely if it fell out of the nest though.
But if you then pulled up at the next intersection next to the guy. I don't unleash the bird and let it fly. I would hold it loosely if it fell out of the nest, though. But if you then pulled up at the next intersection
next to the guy, you wouldn't have your window rolled down.
You wouldn't be glaring at them.
I never do that.
I never instigate, because you never know
if they've got a gun or if they're crazy.
I mean, this is Los Angeles.
You just don't want to mess with people.
Well, I could tell that he was generally a peaceful person.
Well, I know why, and I know why
because we talked about this, but let me just,
I'll give the people my assessment on this one
because I already gave it to you, and that was,
I think that the way to handle that situation
is if you want to engage.
Hold on, before you say it because it's funny
the way it came out because it happened,
and let's say how the guy drove off.
The last thing that was said, he just kind of like
shook his head in disbelief and then the light turned green,
he went in front of us and he was gone basically.
And we didn't immediately start talking about it.
It took a little while.
We went a mile or so.
And then you're like, it's like you were deciding
when would be the best time to bring up your assessment.
I thought it was a teachable moment.
And so I said, I said, you know,
I think you could have handled that better.
And here's what I think you could have done.
I think that you could have said exactly the same words.
Yeah.
Changed nothing and just said it in this tone right here.
And when someone is yelling at you and then you're talking to them like this,
it makes them so angry.
Now, I'm not saying the idea is to make them angry.
But if you want to one-up this person, if you want to win the argument,
if you really want to be entertained and win this argument.
You don't let them get in your crawl.
You don't lose control.
You don't match his level, man!
That's precisely what you don't do.
You don't match the level.
Right, there's no power in that.
You maintain control.
And if you had said, if you had slowly rolled down your window
and just kind of slyly looked over and been like,
what, you've never made a mistake before?
He would've been like,
and then he would've probably put his tail
between his legs and drawn off.
See, I had the right thought,
but I had the wrong execution.
Well, you gotta keep trying.
You're exactly right, I gotta keep trying.
You gotta keep practicing, you gotta keep practicing.
And when you said that, I was just like,
hmm, yeah, you're right, man.
I just, I thought,
I knew that I would learn something by doing it.
And that, and, Or get shot.
And where I will give you credit
is I wouldn't have done it at all.
I learned so much.
I wouldn't have rolled down the window to begin with,
so at least you rolled down the window.
But it seems like you already knew it.
So I don't know what you would have learned.
You just would have felt good by getting that guy's goose.
I think maybe we could work as a tag team
and maybe you're the one who rolls down the window
and I'm the one who does the talking.
It's like, let's do it!
Maybe that's the system that we need to employ.
When you told me, when you gave your assessment,
the first thing I thought was back in high school
that time when I scored two goals in one soccer match
with my left foot, the first and second goal
I had ever scored in like a soccer career,
because I always played defense.
I'm talking like even through recreation,
I never scored a goal.
And then in high school here, I'm scoring two in one game.
And I'm like, it's like I just won the World Cup.
I did everything but take my shirt off and you know,
skid across the.
Over the top.
I just like, this is like, it's like I'd won the lottery.
I mean everyone in the stands thought that he'd probably
gone berserk.
People had stopped cheering and you were still running.
And Josh Young who was the striker,
and he scored frequently.
Yeah.
In many ways.
Yep.
He comes up to me once I go back
and we're setting up to keep playing the game
and he's like,
you know, next time you should act like you meant to do it.
Right, act like you've been there before.
Act like you've been there before,
like you're not surprised that you scored these goals.
Act like you've been there before.
Because if you keep your cool, then you will be cool.
Now, we're gonna continue this in a second
because I do wanna talk about why you felt safe
engaging with this guy, which I think could get us into
some pretty interesting conversation.
But first, we're gonna pause to let you know that
this episode is brought to you by Audible.
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Okay, now Audible is offering you
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And now, I have a recommendation, okay?
This is one of the best audio books
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It is called The War of Art.
It's by Steven Pressfield.
The War of Art.
This thing is, I think it's like just shy of three hours long.
So, you know, like easy road trip material,
a couple of commutes or whatever,
depending on where you live.
I listened to part of it with you
when we were coming back for some shoot.
If you are trying to accomplish anything creative at all
and you have that, what he calls the resistance,
there's so many things that can be the resistance
when you're trying to accomplish something creative
and that's what the war of art is,
is overcoming that resistance and it was very,
very instrumental for us.
I read it, you listened to it a little bit
but we kind of applied the principles together
for kind of getting through those tough creative times
where you feel like you don't have anything
and all the distractions that get in the way
of creating great things.
So that is my recommendation.
So take us up on that offer at audible.com slash Ear Biscuits
and if you haven't listened before,
go check out The War of Art.
And also we're very soon gonna record
the Audible version of our book, The Book of Mythicality.
Yes.
Available for pre-order, both the audio
and text version now.
That's right.
So go to audible.com slash Ear Biscuits.
That's audible.com slash Ear Biscuits and get started today.
Okay so, yeah, so finish what you're saying
about why you felt safe because I know
where you're going with this.
I made my mind up that if he came by
with his window rolled down,
I was gonna be ready to pounce.
But I felt safe doing that because he was in like a Prius
doing that because he was in like a Prius that had
a business plastered on the side of it. Like a car wrap.
And it was a car wrap and it said eco something.
Or like green partners or something like that.
It was like a eco something.
It was an eco friendly like company.
And I was like.
This guy's a love or not fighter.
Love or not, yeah.
Tree hugger, not a tree chopper.
Right.
You know?
So I felt, I assessed him and his vehicle very quickly
and was like, all right, I'm going in on this.
Right, and interestingly.
I was right, he was cool.
Because this, okay, this is a principle that.
A lot more than me.
This is a principle I like to dig into
and that is this idea of you feel like you know something
about someone because of the car that they drive.
Oh, okay.
I've been thinking about this because it has gotten
a little personal for me because you haven't seen this
but I am currently driving
a convertible white Mustang.
Seriously? Yeah, and it's not mine, I'm renting it.
So you know I was in the accident in my car.
No, no, no, you can just say you wanted to rent a Mustang.
Oh yeah.
You don't have to have a reason.
Well no, well I have a reason for why I was renting,
but I'll tell you exactly why I picked this car
and how it makes me feel about myself.
So I was in the accident and there was very little damage
but there was some sensor damage on the back of the car
and I think the bumper's a little bit messed up.
So it's in the shop and my insurance gives me an allowance
for a rental car.
Now I do this on a fairly regular basis.
Like if I have to rent a car.
My wife gives me an allowance.
If a car, if my car is being worked on
or we're traveling or whatever,
when I go into the place, they're like,
what would you like?
And I'm like, do you have anything interesting?
Because you know me, you know my personality.
My personality is,
New, shiny. I want something that's new.
I don't want to just get into the Chevy Malibu.
You know what I'm saying? Well that's interesting. That would be an interesting choice. I want something that's new. I don't want to just get into the Chevy Malibu. You know what I'm saying?
Well, that's interesting.
That would be an interesting choice.
I want to get into something interesting.
First of all, the woman says, no lie, she's like, we have a minivan.
I was like, yeah, that would be interesting for you to think that that's what I would
think is interesting.
I mean, Link knows that life very well, and I've been in the minivan.
It's not interesting.
That's not my idea of a good time, no offense.
It's kind of anti-interesting.
Right, that's the whole point, right?
I mean it's spacious.
If by interesting she means like capable of hauling
lots of kids.
That's interesting.
Then that's an interesting definition of interesting.
But she said, okay other than that we have a Camaro.
And I was like okay now we're talking.
Now we're talking.
I mean, all the kids that I knew in high school
that drove Camaros were cool.
Well, they were interesting.
Yeah, and it was very interesting.
He says, but I think you'll actually fit better
in our rag top Mustang.
And I was like, cha-ching, yes sir, show me the keys.
So.
You were most interested in the keys?
Well the keys are the key to starting the car.
Well maybe it's, push button.
Is it a push button?
It's a push button.
Okay, show me the button.
High tech.
Well you gotta have the key fob, they call it,
to hit the button.
You know how cars work.
Do you wanna talk about how cars work?
Add that to the how podcasts work.
But you actually don't know how cars work. No, I don't care how they work. Right. I just care if they work. Add that to the how podcasts work. But you actually don't know how cars work.
No, I don't care how they work.
Right.
I just care if they work.
So I'm calling you on that one.
So yeah, tell me how cars work.
So it's internal combustion.
I mean, I could tell you.
But the.
What does a carburetor do?
So I get into this convertible
and this place was just a couple of blocks from
the studio, right? So I get into the convertible.
Rack top down already?
And he's in there showing me how stuff works. He's like,
you want it down? I'm like, yeah. I've got to go two blocks,
but I'm going to go two blocks in style.
And so as you can imagine, I'm a large man, I'm very tall, I have very high
hair, so I noticed very quickly as soon as I pulled out into traffic that my hair
is basically above the windshield, so it is wind shear, it's just right there. It
hits me right there, so my hair is like vibrating constantly.
You think it might get sheared off?
I don't think I'm gonna lose it, but I know that it's gonna change the shape of my cut,
you know what I mean?
Oh yeah. It's gonna be windblown,
which could be a good thing.
You go in a convenience store,
it's gonna ruin your rep.
But I was very self-conscious
about being in this white convertible.
Because I was starting to think about what I would think
if I saw a dude who looks like me in a white convertible with the top down.
Yeah.
By the way, no sunglasses at the time
because I'd left them in the other car.
You're squinting.
So I'm just, I look like a complete noob.
You know, sunny California convertible, no sunglasses,
too big for the thing, hair wind sheared constantly.
I mean, you've got Burbank tourist written all over you.
Well okay, yeah, but here's what I was.
Alone, you're on a business trip.
Well, everything that I could think about
what I would think about me was negative, right?
It was like this guy was in one commercial one time.
You know, that was one of the things I was thinking.
This guy was like in a Restless Legs pharmaceutical
commercial, you know one of those things. Both legs? I was thinking. This guy was in a Restless Legs pharmaceutical commercial.
You know, one of those things that treats restless legs
but gives you seizures kind of thing.
I thought it was just one leg, by the way.
Well, no, it's Restless Legs syndrome,
but it can be, I have it, actually,
and I get it in both legs.
But you weren't in the ad.
No, but that's the kind of person that I looked like.
A guy who has too much hair for his own good and it's blowing in the ad. No, but that's the kind of person that I look like. A guy who has too much hair for his own good
and it's blowing in the wind.
Oh man, he looks like he could've been
in a commercial one time.
You could be. But it wasn't
a great commercial and he doesn't have a career
because he's in a Mustang and he's in a white Mustang.
And he's in the not the nice model of Mustang,
he's in the low horsepower model of Mustang
that they use for rental companies. I think you could look like the low horsepower model of Mustang that they use for rental companies.
I think you could look like the adopted son
of a auto repairman who he asked him to like
take the car for a spin to make sure
that the repairs were took.
Okay, that is interesting in and of itself.
That's what I think you are.
But this whole idea of coming to a conclusion
about somebody because of the vehicle that they're in,
which first of all, that is a.
That's human.
Well it's very human but it's also the kind of thing
that is, would be very difficult for a caveman
to understand.
You know, one day there's going to be this thing
that people get inside of and go around
and you're going to be able to make inferences
about their lifestyle based on what they're in.
And he's gonna be like, oh, you know?
He probably won't understand any of it
because he doesn't speak English.
But what about?
But even the concept would be foreign to him.
But what about the cars that we're actually in?
I mean, does this, this should also apply
to what people think of our actual vehicles.
It applies to everything.
What I kinda concluded is like,
is there anyone out there who just thinks
that I'm a guy who's getting his car repaired
and just wants to have a little fun?
No. No one thinks that. No one thinks that, but that's the truth.
Because no one is going,
because you want to think the thing
that is like judging people the hardest, right?
That's the guy from the Restless Legs commercial.
Yeah.
That's the guy whose dad just worked on a vehicle
and he's making sure the repairs took,
which is what you're.
Yeah, I think that's likely.
But by the way. But nobody's like,
that's just a dude that's getting his car worked on
and asked for something interesting.
Would you feel freer,
because I mean you're gonna leave tonight,
you're gonna get in this thing.
Tomorrow in the broad daylight,
you're gonna pick me up at my house.
I'll be wearing sunglasses.
We're gonna come in together.
Yeah.
I don't know how I feel about that.
You want me to have the top down?
This is impacting me.
I've already thought about it.
I've actually been thinking about picking you up in it.
No, I've been.
Oh Link, he's gonna love this.
I actually was a little bit,
the fact that I had to park on the street today
because of what they were shooting out in the parking lot
and so I knew you didn't see it
and I almost didn't wanna talk about this tonight
because I wanted to roll up and pick you up.
I'd be like, you bought me a convertible?
Yeah.
You're like, no, I just rented it.
And let me tell ya, the whole riding down the highway,
the freeway at top speeds, with the top down,
especially with my height, especially without sunglasses,
I kinda felt like things were about to get in my eye.
You could go sunny on this thing.
It's so loud, too.
Geese could hit you.
It also makes you feel like.
It landed in a Hudson.
It makes you feel unsafe, not because you feel like
you could roll over and get your head cut off,
but the reality of these big, loud, fast machines
moving all around you is really,
you're so immediate when you're in a convertible.
You know?
And none of that sounds good to me,
but I'm gonna withhold judgment till in the morning.
But it's interesting, it is interesting.
I mean this is Southern California, man.
You gotta have that convertible experience.
But would you feel more free if we took a sheet of paper
and with Sharpie just wrote on it.
Rental.
No, no, no, no.
You can't say rental,
because then it seems like you're a tourist.
You gotta say, cars in the shop, minor damage.
Just wanted something interesting.
Just wanted something interesting.
That wasn't a minivan.
Wouldn't have picked white, but it was all they had.
It's quite a sign.
Two sheets.
It's gonna be a piece of poster board.
We're going two sheets to the wind.
And where do I put that?
I put it on the back?
Every side.
I don't think I'm gonna be comfortable riding with you unless there's one at every angle. I gotta put a sign on every side of the Mustang. Well, I think we on the back. Every side. I don't think I'm gonna be comfortable riding with you
unless there's one at every angle.
I gotta put a sign on every side of the Mustang.
One thing, we gotta wrap it.
Or we could wrap the thing and it could say like,
eco something and then it's like, oh I get it.
Those guys are targets.
Those guys work for an eco company.
They're selling solar roofs to people.
But okay, the funny thing is is that this happened to me
earlier this week, what had nothing to do with the car.
This is before I took the car in.
And I was walking to my car that wasn't yet in the shop
and I had, you know.
Which says what about you?
Is that what you're getting at?
No, no, I'm moving beyond cars.
I'm getting a little bit more personal.
Okay.
I'm talking about attire at this point.
Not attire of a car, but clothing.
And that is, okay, so we both have these,
you're wearing them right now, right?
Like joggers?
Well, they're pants with elastic at the bottom.
They're these pants.
But I would never jog in them.
They're kind of like Bieber.
Bieber was wearing these pants eight years ago, right?
I mean, and it's got a string?
They're drawstring.
We actually both have a pair on right now.
It's kind of got a little bit of a drop crotch,
and then you've got the tight calves or whatever,
and there's this fake bunching that happens.
So we both have a pair of these.
And I don't like the string because you have to move it
out of the way when you go number one.
I have to like hold all the string.
I feel like it's like I'm gathering ducklings or something
every time I'm trying to use the restroom.
Okay well that's another discussion we can have.
I can show you what to do with the strings.
What do you do with the strings? You're like my dad.
Anyway, so...
Why you gotta be like my dad? This is a teachable moment. I'll tell you about
where to put the strings later.
So we've both got a couple of pairs of these.
Just tell me where you put the strings. Just do it.
Well, I don't gather them like ducklings. I just untie them, and then they just sort of naturally go into one hand.
I just sort of grab them both with one hand, and then I just drop drawer.
Drop drawer.
And then do my business.
You had a point.
I don't think about it that much.
And I also had on one of these shirts.
You're probably peeing all over them.
I got one of these shirts that's kind like, it's a longer t-shirt.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
It's longer than it probably should be,
but it's also kind of in style in some circles.
And then I've got my Jordans.
I got a few Air Jordan ones that I wear.
Not bragging, I just got them.
I'm walking to my car.
No, this isn't about bragging,
this is about being self-conscious.
This is where this is going. Okay. I'm walking to my car, this isn't about bragging, this is about being self-conscious, this is where this is going.
Okay.
I'm walking to my car, having just said goodbye
to my wife and children, 39 year old man,
and I kinda just look down at my feet and I'm like,
I got these Jordans on, I got these Bieber pants on,
and I got this, really it's like a Bieber shirt in a lot of ways.
Not like Bieber now but like Bieber a couple years ago.
Yeah.
And I'm like what am I doing with my life?
And then I'm like,
what would I think of me if I saw me?
And then it's same exact thing again,
I was like, I would be like who is this guy
that was in the Restless Legs commercial one time
and he made a little money and now he went.
He's riding it.
He saw an article with Justin Bieber in it
and he saw him with a long t-shirt on
and some drop crotch pants and Air Jordans.
He was like, I don't dress like that
even though I'm about to turn 40.
Yeah.
Now I could have gone back inside and changed
but I was like I don't care really.
Changing of what?
Like a shorter shirt.
Like a normal t-shirt.
Yeah.
But then it just hit me, I was like,
I mean I'm wearing, I think I'm wearing this stuff
just because I go to the places where you buy clothes and I'm like, oh, this fits.
I like fashion.
And somebody has determined that this is in style, right?
Yeah.
And so I'm not gonna, who am I to argue with that?
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna wear that.
I've had this shirt that I have on right now.
A long time.
For freaking.
At least a decade.
Let's really think about this.
Like I remember wearing this shirt
when we shot the pilot to Commercial Kings.
Was that 10 years ago?
No, the pilot to Commercial Kings was
Seven years ago. 2010, yeah.
2011.
I have had it 10 years.
But you've had it 10 years.
But it was hanging in a rack in there
and I was cold and I just had a t-shirt on you've had it 10 years. But it was hanging in a rack in there and I was cold
and I just had a t-shirt on.
Well it's just a plaid shirt.
Of course, yeah, it's gonna be okay.
But just the concept of making a choice.
I like buying new stuff that's like,
I like fashion, you know?
You can't fault you for that.
I don't think you're necessarily pretending.
Well I think you are but you wouldn't necessarily be.
But if I saw you and I didn't know you?
It's not pretending, it's you make choices
to put on, you put things on your body,
to put clothing on your body because you think
a certain thing about yourself and you want other people
to think a certain thing about you.
I do that every single morning.
I think about what I'm gonna,
what I'm gonna wear based on what I need to do
and who I'm gonna see.
Well you sound like a repairman.
Like I'm gonna go into the hole today,
I got my rubber boots on, what do you mean?
Well it's like, I feel like we're just riding today,
I wanna be more comfortable,
I'm definitely dropping the crotch.
I'm into that.
I will say that the drop crotch is super comfortable
and I feel like it's helping my back.
So there is some functionality there.
Because it's so loose, everything is so loose
and it's loose around your hips and stuff.
But I'm good. It's healthy.
I've got this meeting today where I like,
I feel like I'm gonna be opinionated
and I want my opinions to matter.
So what are you gonna wear?
So I might button the top, I'm gonna wear a button shirt
and I might button the top button.
But what is the button, again.
Like wearing a t-shirt.
And I don't button the top button.
I don't wanna wear a t-shirt.
Because of what it might say about me. Because a t-shirt's just like I don't wanna wear a t-shirt. Because of what it might say about me.
Because a t-shirt's just like,
a boy'll wear a t-shirt.
A boy'll wear a t-shirt.
But if a man with an opinion is gonna wear buttons.
Buttons mean business.
Buttons mean business,
and the top button means a lot of business,
but I better put on a hat to balance it
because I'm not an old man meaning business,
I'm a young man meaning business.
I don't necessarily think about all of those thoughts
but those are the thoughts in general
that make me button up, hat up, crotch down,
whatever the case may be and sometimes I'm like,
you know what, I don't feel really happy this morning.
I just need to put on my happy shirt.
What? You have a happy shirt?
You know that sweatshirt that has the wolf on it
that looks like the guy who came,
the piece of delivery came to the door,
I opened the door and he was like, oh.
He was mesmerized by the wolf on your shirt.
I see a snake on your shirt.
Are you now happy because of how that guy responded to it?
That made me happy, so now when I put on this shirt,
I have confidence that, I don't know,
it gives me more confidence.
If I run into that delivery guy again,
he's gonna love this shirt.
That's my happy shirt.
Yeah, yeah, I feel like it,
I want today to, I gotta be really extra happy today.
Now I don't, listen, I don't fault you
because I've already explained
that I do the same exact thing.
I am thinking about what people are going to think about me
based on the clothing choices that I make.
But let me just say that I think it's a little sad.
Okay, and you know, you've got guys like,
Steve Jobs was like the quintessential example of this.
Like Dennis the Menace.
There are lots of really successful people
who say that having an outfit,
having the Dennis the Menace,
every single day you wear the same thing.
The reason that those people made that decision
is because they didn't want to make that decision
every single day, right?
So many important decisions to make.
Right, I've got so many things to worry about,
I'm gonna just, hey, this is what my wardrobe is.
And some people might vary it up a little bit.
Some people are like, I've got white shirts,
black shirts, and gray shirts,
but they're all basically the same,
and I'm not making any decisions about who I'm gonna see.
They just know that that's Link,
and he wears a black shirt and white pants
after Labor Day.
I mean, we got a friend who just wears a white T-shirt,
a white V-neck T-shirt every day of his life.
Who?
Jesse, not your wife.
He wears a white T-shirt every day of his life.
He does, doesn't he?
Think back.
You've never seen him wear anything but a white t-shirt.
I never thought about that.
He has made that decision and we know it.
You've hung out with him more.
I know him better than you do.
Yeah, so you've seen him more.
I've had a conversation with him about it.
And is that his reasoning?
That's his reasoning, he streamlined it.
He doesn't wanna make that decision.
He also doesn't like to wear shoes or socks a lot either.
Now, and I could be, you would never be that guy.
You would never be the Steve Jobs uniform guy.
No.
But I could be, right?
It really appeals to me, though.
It appeals to you?
No, okay.
I can't think that it ever would.
No, because there's competing forces here.
So you want to be this guy.
One force is my desire for change, right?
And my desire for new things.
Freshness, yeah.
And the other desire is my desire for doing something
that I think is of benefit to me and is like,
that's a really cool idea, that's a cool new idea.
So when I heard that idea of wearing the same thing
every day, that was the newness that intrigued me, right?
Yeah, yeah. But then I was like,
I can't do that because we shoot Good Mythical Morning
and if we happen to wear the same shirt too close
between two episodes, people point it out.
Well, it's the key thing that people wanna comment on.
I mean, if you were to say the same thing every day,
what would people comment about?
Nothing, there's nothing else to comment about.
Right, and it wouldn't be like it was a daily show.
It would be like these guys sat down
and recorded a year's worth of shows in a couple of days.
But then it dawned on you that the freshness
of experiencing a new outfit every day is more important to you
than some sort of efficiency.
I think that. But I could fall for that.
But I think there are, I think there is every reason.
Let me just say this, I think there is only good reasons
for picking one outfit.
It's more economical.
Are you applying for like a principal
of a private school or something?
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, this is basically, this is all.
That's what you're getting at.
This episode has been paid for by a private school
that has uniforms.
Uniform company.
And we're trying to teach the kids
that uniforms make sense.
But no, there's a reason that uniforms make sense at school.
We're not gonna get into that.
So you've got, it's economical.
You don't, that whole thing that we just talked about,
this whole self-conscious thing of like,
am I gonna be judged for what I'm wearing?
You completely eliminate that,
because you're like, doesn't matter what this guy's got
going on that day, he wears exactly the same thing.
It takes out that extra decision so that you have
the brain power to put it in other places.
But it also kinda is just sort of this,
I'm making a statement that I'm not giving into this idea
that I am what I externally apply to myself.
That seems healthy.
That all seems great, right?
But you lose some things as well.
Yeah, like why don't you also just shave your head?
You know, don't worry about that.
I mean.
Because there's self expression involved
in your clothing. Absolutely.
I mean, you know, you gotta be able to express yourself.
I mean, like how are people gonna know
that I wanna be happy today
if I can never wear my happy shirt?
Well because then, what if you just embodied
your happiness in your face?
That's stupid.
And the things that you said.
That's crazy. As opposed to the things
that you wore.
I mean yeah, we got the hair.
Look it, I mean yeah.
The hair is, but the hair's part of your body.
It's an extension of yourself.
It's like an animal that has, it's like a peacock.
You know what I'm saying?
That's like telling the peacock to cut his feathers off.
I don't wanna do that.
The peacock cuts his feathers off,
he doesn't get to pass his genes on to the next generation.
No, it's like telling a snake,
don't keep it your skin.
That didn't work.
No, it didn't.
But I'm not saying that if I cut my hair off,
I wouldn't be able to pass my genes to the next generation.
I've already passed my genes to the next generation.
And it had nothing to do with my hair,
because I just had basically a buzz when I got married.
You made it sound like your seed was spread far and wide.
I mean, you had two children.
My hair is like a dandelion.
If you blow on my hair, it separates and seeds get spread.
I don't know how many children I've got.
Because I've got dandelion hair.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you how.
That's how I reproduce.
Progeny works.
You have, you've.
I have spores.
You have two spores, but you have not like,
had a whole generation.
I have thousands of spores.
I do.
What are we talking about?
We're talking about whether or not you should wear
different colored clothes every single day
and whether or not you should style your hair.
I think, I know we're gonna have to come down on this
because I'm not about to shave my head
and I'm not about to start wearing the same thing every day.
So now we need to justify our conclusion.
Yes.
Because we know what we want the conclusion to be,
now we need to make it seem like it's the right thing to do.
That's how life works.
Any form of, yeah, any form of,
any opportunity for self-expression
is a liberty that should be granted.
So. Subject to
how it impacts other people. So, I mean, if you're just gonna,
but you should not be defined by
any one particular way that you've expressed yourself.
But you can also choose for your form of self-expression
to be that I'm going to wear the same thing every day.
That's your prerogative.
Right.
It's worked well for a lot of people.
So what I'm gonna say is I'm going to hold out
the possibility that there will come a time
in which I will wear the same thing every day.
One of the happiest times of my life is when I had a buzz,
when I had a buzz cut.
I had a buzz in like the seventh and eighth grade,
little bit of ninth grade.
Mm-hmm.
And then I had a.
And are you saying it was because of the buzz?
Because I don't think it had anything to do with the buzz.
I don't recall you saying, because I was there,
for you every day saying, man, I just love this buzz.
But I did love.
My life is great because my hair is so short.
I love the feeling of the wind in my hair.
You never told me.
Oh, I was thinking it all the time.
And I love the idea of just getting up
and not having to think about my hair.
I think this convertible's messing with you.
It's not like.
I need to have a buzz and I need to buy that convertible.
A couple of weeks from now, you're not gonna have
the convertible anymore and you're gonna have a buzz
and you're not gonna feel any wind in any hair.
And you're gonna be like, I shouldn't have done that.
What I'm saying is that...
I gotta get a convertible again.
I think that my 60s are going to be defined by
having a buzz, having a really, really big bushy beard
that's completely unkempt, like a letterman beard,
like what he's doing, and then I'm gonna have just a suit,
I think it's just gonna be a onesie.
And maybe I'll pick an interesting color like yellow.
The guy in the yellow onesie
with the buzz and the beard, that's gonna be me.
Banana dude?
Banana man in my 60s.
A good 10 year span of that.
I got 20 years to plan this out.
I mean, that's just kind of a starting point.
Buzz, glasses, goggles.
Because I'm gonna be in a convertible at all times.
Goggles for eye protection. Big Buzz. Banana suit. Maybe like blue shoes. Like
blue high tops or something like that. And that's just who I am. That's what I do
all the time.
I want long braids.
Okay.
Like once it gets so long and you braid it,
I'm talking like Willie Nelson.
I think you wanna be David Letterman,
I'm pretty sure I wanna be Willie Nelson.
Okay you want braids.
And a beard.
A short beard.
A short, he keeps it pretty short.
He does keep it short.
No I'll go long.
Long beard.
So it's like a Rick Rubin meets Willie Nelson.
It's kinda like a Waylon meets Willie.
Well yes, perfect.
Yeah, a Whaley.
Yes.
What's your clothes gonna be?
Overalls, no shirt underneath.
I mean you got, I might have to like,
but I'm gonna figure out the inside of the overalls
for no chafing.
It's like flannel, not flannel,
because it's hot here.
I'll be here, I'll be in Malibu.
Well by that time, 20 years from now,
there'll be some sort of,
Yeah like cooling,
Poly fabric.
Poly fabric.
Self-wicking.
Self-wicking.
Like a high-tech overall.
Inner lining of overalls.
And by overall, I mean overall of me.
Yeah you could probably have a shirt on actually,
like a long sleeve shirt that's completely clear
that nobody will see.
20 years from now the technology will be out of control.
Why would I want a perfectly clear shirt?
So you always look like you're just in a pair of overalls
but when it gets cold you're still clothed.
You're right, I'm cold natured.
Yeah.
You're looking out for me.
Yeah I thought about this.
Another T-T teachable moment.
So I'm gonna wear a long sleeve,
translucent sweatshirt, overalls.
Yeah, self-wicking overalls.
And those boots that I wore to Sundance,
because I'm itching to wear those again.
Yeah, you need more excuses for that.
Big old boots, braids, and a wailing beard.
Banana Man and Whaley.
Yeah, we know what we're gonna look like.
I mean, it's not our prescription for you.
You can wear whatever you want to.
But you can do it, and if you do it before we do it,
we're gonna be angry about it.
And let me just say.
Don't do it, okay?
I do wanna be very clear that I do think
that you shouldn't just pick one thing to wear.
I think at least for as long as we're selling clothing and hoodies and T-shirts
and other things that we sell, you should definitely keep it real mixed up.
You're going to want to wear that stuff.
But when you get to your 60s, I think that's the thing.
Don't start now, but let's just all make a commitment that when we get to our 60s, if we get to our 60s,
that's when we simplify things.
You pick your suit, you pick your haircut,
you pick your facial hair configuration,
and you just roll with it until the end.
I'll be banana man until I'm in the grave.
Until the end.
Through the end.
Last shot.
You know what I'm gonna look like.
Take a picture.
Bury me in my translucent sweater.
And don't judge people based on what they wear
and keep your cool when confronting them
in a traffic situation.
Yeah, don't be like Link.
I mean, you win by keeping your cool
and you are cool by just being who you are.
If that means wearing the same thing every day,
or wearing something different every day.
You wear that happy shirt.
Yeah, wear your happy shirt.
Be happy.
And we're gonna bring you another Ear Biscuit next week.
Monday first thing, these things are gonna keep coming out.
Give us your feedback on SoundCloud, in a review on iTunes,
or in the comments of this YouTube video.
And remember, the video version of Ear Biscuits is always available
at youtube.com slash thisismythical.
Thank you for being your mythical best.