Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 91: Let's Get Personal ft. Rhett & Link | Ear Biscuits Ep. 91
Episode Date: April 24, 2017Rhett and Link talk about spreading their cheeks with proctologists and open their hearts about their growing children and the unforeseen life-changing circumstances that go along with it on this week...'s Ear Biscuits. SUBSCRIBE to This Is Mythical: https://goo.gl/UMXvuW Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Cody D'Ambrosio Editor: Meggie Malloy Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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This, this, this, this is Mythical.
Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of dim lighting,
we have a very, very, very special episode.
It's an episode that we thought you would never hear
or more specifically see.
Right, it is the lost episode of Ear Biscuits.
It actually was intended to be the first episode
of season three of Ear Biscuits,
but we had some technical difficulties
because we were doing this video thing for the first time.
It's important for us to set things off
on the right track from the beginning.
We didn't want a compromised episode
to be the first episode of the video version of Ear Biscuits.
Ear Biscuits is back, you gotta make a big deal of it.
So we shelved it.
But it was a good conversation.
Yeah, it was the very first one.
There was a certain energy to the unknown
of feeling our way through
bringing the round table into the video format.
We took, I mean we ended up burying our souls
or other body parts.
Yeah.
Not, I mean not physically.
It gets very personal.
But it gets very personal and then you know,
from there we talked about, you know,
I talked about some personal stuff that is happening
in my family's life that ultimately,
having made the decision for us to talk about it,
it was we wanted you to be able to hear it
and experience it and share it with us.
And we wanted to put this little intro on the beginning.
I mean, obviously, there were no technical difficulties on the audio side, but we wanted to put this on intro on the beginning. I mean obviously there were no technical difficulties
on the audio side but we wanted to put this on both
the video and the audio version because we repeatedly
refer to this episode being the first episode
of Ear Biscuits and you would be very, very confused
if we didn't just put this little intro on orienting you
to what's about to happen.
So you'll just see the wide shot with one minor exception
but other than that, it should feel like a normal
ear biscuit experience.
Yes, don't be alarmed, just accept it.
With no, Open your ears.
Close up shots of us.
If that's your thing, this isn't gonna be
the one you wanna watch.
Well you can maybe do your own Zooms and crops.
Oh okay, that could be fun.
Feel free to do your own Zooms and crops. I, okay. Feel free to do your own Zooms and crops.
I don't think it's worth it.
Just listen and enjoy.
This lost episode of Ear Biscuits.
It's found, here it is.
You already know how often we touch our hair.
I mean, on Good Mythical Morning,
but now it's gonna, I'm just really resisting the urge to touch my hair.
Currently?
Yeah, well I mean, I'm always,
I wanna touch it all the time.
Yeah, you constantly wanna touch it.
The hair.
Yeah, okay. Your hair.
So, a lot has happened since the end of season two
of Ear Biscuits, and one of those things that has happened
is a lot of people have asked, the end of season two of Ear Biscuits and one of those things that has happened is
a lot of people have asked,
when is Ear Biscuits coming back?
And we've been like, not anytime soon.
That was sort of the standard line.
Yeah.
So we've been doing a lot of other things.
Of course, Good Mythical Morning,
going strong as always.
Been working on our book.
We did Buddy System this year,
last year, and there wasn't a place.
But we still, I'm trying to figure out what it is
that made us want to do it and I think it's,
we still find ourselves having conversations
between the two of us that no one else hears
and I think in the back of our minds,
we are just thinking, why am I just talking to this guy?
Yeah.
I mean, we should probably monetize this.
That is the thinking, right?
Well, no, we should probably share this.
Yeah, that's a, that's a,
We should probably share this.
That's a probably more palatable way to put it.
And we save stuff to talk about on Good Mythical More,
but we still end up talking.
We spend so much time together
and every time we just talk to each other,
is it pointless?
No.
It seems like you're questioning the foundations
of our friendship now.
I mean, are you saying that our friendship has become
Seems like you're baiting me.
So outwardly focused that it is no longer for each,
it's no longer for us and now it's just
for the mythical beasts?
I don't think that's the case.
Then why do you wanna do this?
To monetize it.
No, no, so, well, you know.
I'm gonna sit on my foot now.
Do whatever you want, you don't have to justify
every physical action. And I'm gonna take my sweater halfway off. Do whatever you want. You don't have to justify every physical action.
And I'm gonna take my sweater halfway off.
You're gonna have to get to a place
where you can just do the physical things
without openly acknowledging them.
Like you thinking about your hair and touching it?
I'm helping you, you help me.
Leave it up.
No, but I think the reason we wanna do this
is because podcasting, I mean, really, when you talk about the things
that we've done that are the favorite of the things
that we have done, we enjoy a lot of different things
for a lot of different reasons, but the times that we've had
at this round table of Den Lighting,
it's a totally different thing.
It's different than GMM, I mean,
we're not gonna put any weird stuff on our head
or eat something that makes us vomit,
play a weird game, that's not what this is about.
And of course it's not something that's been planned
for months on end that is meticulously presented
in the way that we want it to be presented,
like Buddy System.
Okay, yeah, so this is.
Or the book.
But this scratches a niche, this is something.
It's just a totally different thing.
Well, it's totally unplanned.
I think we've demonstrated we don't have a clue
what we know we're gonna talk about.
We haven't even talked about what today's show
is going to be about.
Yeah, we've just, and so far.
It is becoming that right now.
So far it's just been us talking about doing it.
Let's just keep that, how long can we stretch that out?
This is too meta.
We don't need to stretch anything out.
You may appreciate this conversation
if you already are a fan of Ear Biscuits,
but over six minutes in, at this point,
if this is your first Ear Biscuit, you're like,
is Ear Biscuits just a podcast
about a podcast?
No it's not.
We're just kinda getting back in the swing of things.
Oh yeah, we're getting loose.
We're getting into the groove, man.
I might take my jacket off.
Take your jacket off.
I don't want to, it's such a plain t-shirt.
It's take a shoulder off, but then put it back,
that's what I did, I mean I've gone through
so many iterations already.
All right, there's a shoulder, I got a V-neck.
I recently heard, I mean I've gone through so many iterations already. All right there's a shoulder. I got a V-neck.
I recently heard, okay, I wear a lot of V-necks.
I'll just be honest with you.
And I wear a lot of plain V-necks.
You know Link's kind of the funky t-shirt guy
and I'm the plain t-shirt guy.
I might wear some patterns of colors
that shouldn't go together on like a collared shirt,
that's kinda what I do.
Oh yeah.
But I'm not really a graphic tee kinda guy,
you've sorta got that on lockdown.
Do you feel like you can't purchase a tee
with something on it? No no no no no.
Because of me?
No, I mean I don't like it when my t-shirt
says too many things, too too much.
I like to keep people guessing like a ninja.
Okay.
So but I wear a V-neck and I wore one to a party recently
and a friend of mine who is sort of equally a friend
of my wife's as well, we were, he was talking to,
he's a very fashionable person.
You also know this person but I'm not gonna disclose
his name right now.
Can I guess?
No you can't guess.
We're not gonna play a game. We don't play games.
We don't play games.
Was I at the party?
No.
You were not at this one.
Okay, that's fine.
You weren't invited, I didn't tell you.
Actually you were and you left early.
I was there earlier.
Yeah and he began to talk to my wife.
At Sanchez's party?
About my shirt.
Let's call him Sanchez.
And Sanchez was like, you know, V-necks.
He's very direct, he has a good relationship with my wife.
He's like, you know, he really shouldn't,
you know, V-necks are like five years ago.
It's out.
Five years ago, like a half decade.
Ouch.
Yeah.
How did I miss a half decade?
V-necks are not working?
Well look, well, Kacen, how long have you had that V-neck?
Five months.
Really?
Yeah, I mean.
Well, I've constantly, I mean first of all.
I've never worn a V-neck because I knew they were going out.
No, the reason that you don't wear V-necks is because
Don't bring me into this.
You've told me this.
I'm not making anything up that you haven't told me.
You told me you don't wear V-necks because of the patch
of hair that pops up.
Too much hair, too much hair.
And I don't have a whole lot, you know,
I gotta go a little bit lower than a deep V to get there,
but I just can't believe that something that is as subtle
as the shape of the collar is something
that can go out of style.
So I refute Sanchez.
I don't believe that V-necks are out of style.
I don't think that they actually can go out of style.
I'm gonna keep wearing them unless the people
in the comments on one of the platforms
where Ear Biscuits is enjoyed prove me wrong.
I am all, yeah.
So you're inviting you.
Rhett is inviting you to let him know if V-necks are out.
And don't just take his side because you like him.
Be honest, I think this is a moment, an opportunity
where you can help the guy.
I mean Sanchez took a risk and Rhett threw it in his face.
I don't need a Sanchez.
Later on a podcast that he's not listening to.
Yeah I don't need a Sanchez.
What'd you say to him at the time?
I need a, well.
Did you get defensive? I had walked out of the room. What'd you say to him at the time? I need a, well. Did you get defensive?
I had walked out of the room.
Oh, he said it to her and you weren't even there.
It was one of those things like when you gotta break up
with a girl and you tell her friend.
Ooh.
Yeah, you gotta tell a man his v-neck's out of style,
you tell his wife.
Oh gosh.
You go through the wife.
Five years ago, and how fashionable is Sanchez?
Because I still don't know who you're talking about.
He's pretty fashionable.
I mean, I've taken some cues from him.
Really?
Yeah.
Does he wear like the big round collars?
No, no, no, he's not super neck.
Super neck?
He doesn't wear super necks.
Is that what they're called?
I just made that up.
He's fashionable though.
I respect his fashion choices.
But you know what?
You're getting old, brother.
That's what it is, man.
Well that is something that I was.
Wear it proudly.
You're old and I'm right behind you.
Okay.
I think that's what you've missed.
I mean if that's what this podcast is about.
We have aged.
But there's only certain things we can talk to you about
and one of those is just that we're getting older.
Well let's be more specific about that.
Of course we're getting older. Everyone let's be more specific about that. Of course we're getting older.
Everyone is getting older right now.
Well.
Except anyone who's beating the aging process.
I'm glad you said that.
But.
Because that makes me feel better.
And we're not getting any older faster
than anyone else is technically.
However, I do feel, and I don't know how long it's been,
it's been over a year since the end of season two
of Ear Biscuits, well over a year.
Yeah.
And I feel like in my life and in my body,
more than a year has passed.
That's how I feel.
And when I think about life stage, when I think about.
Like because we're working too hard? No, I'm just saying, when I think about life stage, when I think about. Like because we're working too hard?
No, I'm just saying when I think about the things
that have happened, when I think about the fact that
both of us independently have scheduled trips
to see a proctologist.
We're gonna talk about that.
Within a week of one another.
I'm fresh.
That's a sign that something has changed.
In the anus.
Particularly yes, specifically.
Like when you get old you get hemorrhoids?
Young people can get hemorrhoids.
Oh so now you're gonna tell them why we went.
Yeah, for hemorrhoids.
I mean, I've had the condition.
I'm not gonna say the H word anymore.
I'm just gonna say the condition.
So I mean it's official.
We're talking about hemorrhoids now?
But the condition.
You didn't wanna talk about them in general
or specifically as it relates to us.
I'll talk about the experience.
I'll talk about going to a proctologist.
Okay, do that.
By the way, they're called.
I'll listen.
They're called colorectal surgeons now.
Which is scary right from the beginning.
Right, it's like I'm just coming in to get surgery.
When I was in the waiting room.
On my butthole.
And I saw the certificate of the doctor and it said colorectal surgeon. I was like whoa, I. On my butthole. And I saw the certificate of the doctor
and it said colorectal surgery.
I was like whoa, I didn't sign up for that.
I don't need rectal surgery.
That's not what I'm here for.
I just got a little discomfort.
Well the guy that I went to
because I went to a different guy
because I just didn't want to,
I just didn't, I felt like that would be too intimate
between the two of us if I went to the same guy that,
if he did that to you and then he did it to me,
what if we showed up at the same time?
What if he put us in the same room
because we're friends?
It's like going on a date with the same girl
within a week of each other.
It's a sloppy second situation.
It's like, it's like.
Except it's the reverse because he's sticking his finger in our butts. Oh gosh like, it's like. Except it's the reverse because he's sticking his finger
in our butts.
Oh gosh.
Well it's like.
I'm just being honest, that's what happens.
When you go to a proctologist, that's what happens.
That is what happens.
It's just standard fare.
Well, I went in.
We're talking about this though.
Just letting it register.
Okay, here it is.
I'm not gonna let it register, that way I'll just keep
talking about it.
You'll keep talking about it. Yeah, you'll keep talking about it.
Well this goes back, man.
I mean, this is not like within the last year,
my aging is accelerating in like the anal region.
Exactly, well let me explain.
Because it's not the condition that is a sign of aging,
it's the willingness to see someone about it
that is a result of aging.
Because hemorrhoids are very common.
Like I do a lot of Google searches for medical conditions
because I'm a little bit of a hypochondriac.
I haven't really disclosed that before but I have now.
And so if I see something.
I thought it was hypochondriac.
I think that's someone who doesn't worry.
That's me.
I don't know, is it hypochondriac or hypochondriac?
Because we gotta be right about this because I am that.
Link, you're right, it's hypochondriac.
A person who is abnormally anxious about their health.
Yes.
As opposed to a hypochondriac, someone who is
Search that.
Really fast and concerned about their health.
Hypochondriac is a common mispronunciation.
Mispronunciation.
Someone who when they believe they have something,
they search it really fast.
Uh-oh, a hypochondriac is one who thinks
there is nothing wrong with them despite medical evidence
that they got symptoms of a disease.
Are you kidding me?
So that's what I am.
So I was exactly wrong, they're both words?
No, maybe that's the Urban, is that the Urban Dictionary?
But hypochondriac.org.
Oh this is fake news guys.
But you're right. Let's go back.
But let me finish the point.
I'm a hypochondriac, just like my mom,
just like my brother.
My dad does not have this gene.
He's a hypochondriac.
We worry about ourselves and when we see things.
And when I, you can Google a condition,
and because so many people Google conditions,
Google has figured out that it would be most beneficial
and efficient if they put up the nature of the problem
and how common it is so you don't have to go into WebMD
or the like in order to just make yourself silly.
So when you look up hemorrhoids, which incidentally,
Say the condition.
Impossible to spell without spell correction.
There's more M's than you think.
I can spell it now because it's been corrected
so many times, but no person, I believe this strongly,
no person has ever just correctly spelled the condition,
and of course I'm talking about hemorrhoids
when I say the condition for the last time.
When just on a whim, just tried to spell it.
But it's very common, so it's not,
I think up to like 30 to 40% of the population
will report having the condition in their lifetime.
So like it's.
Well if that many people report it,
how many people don't report it?
70 to 80.
Right, so then 100% of people have it.
We've all got hemorrhoids from time to time.
The condition.
Sorry, the condition.
I remember when mine popped up
or literally popped out.
I mean it was. Oh come on.
We were in New York City at the jail conference
and you know, I don't live in New York
and when I visit,
there's this expectation and the whole city's set up
so that you can walk around everywhere
and we were supposed to write and perform a song
at the same time on stage at a conference
called the Jell Conference.
I remember this.
And I was really, I was anxious about that
and I think, you know, my sphincter gets tight
when I get anxious.
I just like.
Can you use code words?
My condition place gets tight.
Yeah, there we go.
That's where I hold, some people hold the stress
in their shoulders.
Let me just butt in a second.
Okay.
And say that, again.
This is the first one.
This is the death knell. This is so bad. This is the first one. This is the death knell.
This is so bad.
This is season three, episode one.
We've decided to film it
and we're talking about the condition.
I just, I wanna.
You're probably thinking,
are they gonna show the condition spot?
I want, no, no, no.
We're not.
You don't need, yeah.
We're not gonna be that stupid.
You need to just chill.
I'm so chill right now.
This isn't what the podcast is going to be.
Ear Biscuits is not going to be us
talking about this stuff.
The condition or our conditions.
Again.
But we have to get it out of our system.
We don't know what it's gonna be about
and somehow this early it has become about
us talking about our condition.
But what I'm saying is I just apologize
and you can stop listening now.
I'm sorry. Or watching.
It's gonna keep happening.
No one would blame you.
So I'm walking around the NYC.
Yeah, New York City. With my W-I-P-E.
Yeah, that's a wife. And you and your wife.
Yeah, it's me and my wife.
And at one point I just remembered feeling.
Oh gosh.
It's like, it's just like, it's like now.
It didn't feel right, man.
And it scared the po-bonkey out of me.
Okay.
Po-bonkey, I had to make up a word.
I mean, upon further inspection, a little bit later, I was like, oh, that. I mean upon further inspection a little bit later
I was like oh that, I mean it's like,
I didn't immediately know it was the condition.
I thought it was like, I didn't know what it was.
You thought you were dying.
But it was very scary.
Most people think they're dying.
I asked my wife to look at it.
Oh gosh, that's intimacy.
Yeah, I mean, it scared her.
And then, I mean, it scared her. And then, I mean,
I didn't do anything about it,
and it kinda went away for the most part,
but I've lived with it for eight years.
Yeah, and you've complained about it quite a bit.
But at a certain point, you get of a certain age,
and you reach a certain level of discomfort,
and a couple other symptoms start to make an appearance.
And then you're like, man, I gotta get in there.
I no longer care if this means I have to let someone
who I meet within seconds put their finger in my rectum.
It just, I don't care anymore.
And you know what?
I'm that uncomfortable.
Okay and you will tell us about your trip
to the proctologist because that's so intriguing
and I will tell them about my trip to the proctologist.
Yes you will.
But first, Lincoln I'll tell you what it was like
in my bed last night.
Yes please don't, don't do it, okay.
Only if this is for a product.
It is, it's for a product.
It's for the parachute sheets
that we were given to try out.
Right.
I put them, along with my wife,
put them on the bed last night.
Okay, team building exercise?
Oh yeah, we didn't fight at all when we put them on
because we were just talking about the finish.
She was like, yes, I went with the sateen finish.
We'd never done that before.
A little bit of a sheen there.
I got in, it was smooth as silk.
I had an incredible night's sleep.
Wow.
I'm not making this up, man.
And you haven't put yours on your bed yet,
but you have yours, they're in the back of your car.
I put the box in the back of your car.
Really?
You have the opportunity to sleep on them tonight
and then you can tell me what you think.
Did you experience the premium quality
that only gets softer with time?
Yeah, I think it got softer throughout the night.
Okay, well did you experience the way
they were made responsibly?
100% natural with no harmful chemicals
or synthetic softeners?
Yeah, I felt no harmful chemicals, no softeners,
no synthetic softeners.
Did you experience that they were giving back
by partnering with the United Nations Foundation's
Nothing But Nets campaign to donate
life-saving malaria prevention bed nets?
Yeah, I thought I felt that.
Yeah, I thought I felt that.
That is sweet.
Right around the leg area.
Okay, I am sold, what do I do?
You visit Parachute. I put them on the bed
because I've got mine. You've got them.
But our listeners. I'm getting some more for my because I've got mine. You've got them. But our listeners.
I'm getting some more for my loved ones.
Our listeners have a special offer here.
They can visit parachutehome.com slash ear
for free shipping and returns.
And they get a 60-night trial.
If they don't love it, they just send it back,
no questions asked.
That is parachutehome.com slash ear
for free shipping and returns.
Nice.
Tell us about the proctologist.
You went before me.
So why don't you?
I think I may have told this story at some point.
Maybe I didn't.
Yeah, I went five years ago for the first time.
That's right.
Five years ago when I was having my own issues
with the condition while we were traveling around making.
I was talking about two weeks ago.
Commercial Kings.
You went two weeks ago, right?
I went five years ago.
That was the first time the guy said that's my finger.
Well tell me that story.
As he.
Proper.
Yeah.
Tell me the proper story.
Well I mean it was very,
the only thing I remember is the thing I'm trying to forget.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the situation that I'm in right now.
Yeah but tell me. I mean not that I'm into it but. I just remember he'm saying? That's the situation that I'm in right now. Yeah but tell me.
I mean not that I'm into it but.
I just remember he said.
I just wanna know if my experience was the same.
Well, from the first time?
From the first time.
Well the first time he said,
he came in there and he was like,
I'm gonna have you drop your drawers,
you can leave your shirt on.
He said drawers?
Which makes, well I'm paraphrasing.
Five years ago he said take your pants off,
leave your shirt on, which made me feel
like a cartoon character.
And, because personally, if I'm taking my pants off,
I feel like I should take my shirt off too.
There's no, you feel so much more vulnerable
when you're just bottom half naked
than when you're just completely naked.
Completely naked is like warrior.
Bottom half naked is, I should be violated.
You know what I'm saying?
And I think they do that.
I think he tells you, keep your top on
because they're trying to humiliate you.
Humiliate you.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You're like Snoopy or Mickey, man, you're right.
Yogi.
Yogi.
Yogi wore a tie, actually.
I had on a shirt, not just a tie.
Take off everything but put on this tie.
But then he says, me and Marissa,
I don't remember her name, me and Marissa
will be in in a second, I'm like, well who's Marissa?
You know, and all of a sudden there's the doctor
who's a man. You remember her name.
And Marissa, no I'm making it up, but again paraphrasing,
who's a woman, and not just a woman,
like straight out of school,
like too young for my comfort level.
This is not about your comfort level,
it's about the lack of it.
Well, that's all I was thinking about,
and he's like, okay, bend over,
and then the next thing he said was, that's my finger,
and of course what he meant by that is,
that's my finger inside of you right now.
Already.
That was my finger.
Because it could be anything.
He was confirming that it was the finger
and he investigated, did the doctor thing
that he needed to do and I put my pants back on
and he was like, well yeah, you've got the condition
but it's not too serious and here's some something
and going about your business.
And I've had a good five year stretch,
well that's probably a bad word.
I've had a good five years where things have been okay.
But then recently when you started talking about
how you needed to see a doctor again,
I was like, you know.
That gave you the itch.
To tell you the truth,
my condition has never resolved itself
and I think I need to go back again,
getting closer to 40, should probably go.
And this time it was basically the same exact situation
but the doctor was much more personable.
Was Marissa, did Marissa say anything?
You left that out.
She gave me no compliments, if that's what you're asking.
She said nothing.
I think they.
Second time around, no Marissa?
I think no, there was no Marissa for stage one
this time around and first of all,
I don't know how your doctor had you do it
but my doctor had me get on my side like a baby.
Fetal position.
In the fetal position and that was his angle of approach.
Whereas the first guy, it was bending over a table.
Oh wow.
So I definitely preferred the,
it's more comfortable to be in the fetal position
because you already feel like a baby.
You know, it's like having your temperature taken.
So. Yeah, when you bend over,
it's like you're being punished.
Yeah, and so I was more comfortable,
we had quite a conversation while I was in this position.
And then Marissa came in, again, another lady.
I will just always call anyone who was assisting
a colorectal surgeon, Marissa.
But it was another woman.
Yeah, and that was when he went, he did it like a,
They don't care.
He did a, he put a camera in there.
And I'm not talking like a DSLR.
I mean, it's just a camera that was.
Oh, that's a DSLR going in there?
I gotta get my Instagram updated.
After he updated his Instagram.
Marissa.
You don't update it.
What do you mean update an Instagram?
You know, keep it up to date.
Man, you wearing your V-neck shirt,
it's talking about, I don't even use Instagram
and I know the verb is not update it.
Post, okay.
I don't know what it is but it's not.
Posted to Instagram?
Oh he just updated his Instagram, is that it?
What I was trying to do was make a joke about how,
you know, that's what the doctor does,
he takes a picture of your butthole for his Instagram.
But actually it was a camera that's just designed
for the butt.
Do you have it, can I see it?
No, it's not disposable and you don't get to keep it.
They take it out.
And he said,
Do you have the picture?
He said come back in three weeks,
which that's another week for me.
Oh nice.
Which incidentally.
Which we'll make another podcast.
He's monitoring something, in case you're wondering.
I'm gonna be okay.
Is he monitoring it right now?
Is there a camera constantly?
He removed it.
But you also have a come back in three weeks situation
from what I heard, what you told me,
but you didn't give me the details
because you said you would give me the details
here on the show.
Well the doctor, the nurse asked me questions.
We're halfway through this by the way,
we're still talking about it.
But you know.
Well it's important.
Yeah.
To get it out.
And she was asking me all this history questions
while I'm fully clothed.
Marissa?
Yeah, Marissa.
She's everywhere.
She, then as she's leaving the room,
she's like, take off your pants and your underwear
and put on this gown.
You got a gown?
I got a gown.
Shh, I didn't get it.
But I did leave my shirt on and I put my gown over that.
But it was open in the back and I sat back down
and then he comes in and he talks to me a little bit
and the whole time he's talking to me,
I'm like looking at his hand.
Yeah.
I'm like.
Does he have tiny hands?
No.
And I think he could tell I was looking at his hand
because he kept moving it up by his face
to like try to make eye contact with me.
Follow the hand, Mr. Neal.
See, a visual joke.
Yeah, right, I could do that.
You got him.
Yeah, if you're listening to the audio version
of your biscuits, when Link said move the hand,
I took my hand and put it into the Spock symbol
and put it over my right eye.
It was very funny in the video version.
It worked.
Not to make you feel left out.
I think most people could enjoy both.
Do not enjoy the video version of Ear Biscuits
while driving down the lanes.
Unless you're in the backseat watching on a screen.
So I didn't hear anything he said.
I was just waiting for him to say bend over
or roll over or whatever.
Like a dog.
And he said, I want you to lay on your right side.
Your right side, huh?
The first thing he said was.
I was on my left side.
It's like he was talking and I was answering
very specific questions
about the condition and the sensations
and the history of it and he's like,
well let's take a look.
And that's when I'm like, you know.
You gotta keep breathing, that's the key.
Gotta keep breathing.
He's like lay on your right side.
So I got in the fetal position and I'm facing the wall,
much better than the bent over position.
I think that, I mean I just can't imagine having to do,
you've done it both ways.
But I agree with your preference.
And he did not give me any warning.
He was just poked right in there.
Did it make that noise?
So I think I could diagnose that, you have a problem.
It's not supposed to make a cartoon noise.
He had to pop a bubble.
Oh gosh.
No, he didn't.
And it didn't feel great and then it was like,
I'm gonna go four quadrants.
Oh really?
And I want you to tell me how that feels.
So it's like, who knew it had four quadrants?
It's like, is it a good thing that I got four quadrants?
I think everything has four quadrants.
Well he divided it into four but it's a circle.
I think that's the definition of a quadrant
is just dividing something into four.
He did, he did.
He was like this quadrant, how does it,
you know he's like rate the pain here, here, here and here.
And I let him know that at certain points,
there was a quadrant hot spot.
No need to get more.
You've already gotten pretty specific.
But I mean it was like,
please let this be over quickly, man.
And then it was and I sit back up and I talk to him
and he had on a glove at that point.
I was like, oh I didn't see him put on a glove.
I guess he had on the glove the whole time.
That would be proper.
Well yeah.
Yeah, but I didn't remember him putting on a glove.
You thought he was going bare-handed?
Yeah, at one point I felt like I needed to stop
and ask him, but he didn't,
and the glove was coming off at that point.
But then he's like talking, talking, talking,
and I'm like just trying to recover from the moment.
And the whole time I'm thinking,
when this is over, am I gonna shake his hand?
Mm-mm.
So my hands were back, I was like propped up.
I was propped back on the bench, the seat, the table thingy.
And then he tells me everything, on the bench, the seat, the table thingy.
And then he tells me everything, he's like, well I want you to try this shrinking suppository.
So I'm doing that for a couple weeks and then come back.
And I'm like okay, and I'm not extending my hands
or anything and then he's like, any questions?
I'm like nope, I look at the hand and then he's like, it's like, any questions? I'm like, nope, I look at the hand and then he's like,
well let me summarize and he summarizes everything
and then it's like, I keep thinking it's gonna be over
and then he's like, here comes the hand
and then I of course shook his hand, I'm not gonna deny it.
He took the glove off though.
The glove was off at this point and I shook the hand
but it did feel weird, I mean, he didn't shake my hand
when he first met me.
And he had just, I mean while I was waiting,
I heard like uncomfortable sounds from the room next door.
Oh really?
Yeah I could hear through the wall,
he was in there with another person
and it was not going well.
At one point I heard someone say,
are you gonna be able to drive home?
Oh gosh.
This is right before he comes in.
You had a bad experience.
This is right before he comes in.
Are you gonna be able to drive home?
Yeah, my guy, there was nobody,
I was the first one there,
no one else was in the waiting room,
there was nobody else having to question
whether or not they were gonna drive home.
Wow, what was he doing to that guy?
I don't wanna know.
Me neither, man.
I think we can move on now.
What did we learn here though?
I mean, I think it's gonna happen multiple times
over the next couple of months.
I mean, they want us both back.
Yeah, I just think that.
It's gonna be more probing.
I think that part of getting older.
And I went to the dentist this morning.
I mean I got it going in both orifices.
But that's pretty, I mean the dentist is kind of
a normal thing.
It's kind of a normal thing.
Every six months.
But I'm seeing a pattern here.
I'm just, I'm getting comfortable with just
getting in a chair or on a table and people are just
inserting stuff.
Well, professionals are.
Professionals, yes.
Let's be very specific.
That's important.
I'm getting comfortable with that.
I think that's part of getting older
is understanding that, yeah, you're moving into this stage.
You're moving into the stage where you have to be evaluated
by professionals physically in order to make sure
that you make it through the next half of your life, man.
We're havers, man.
That's what's happening.
I don't know what the current life expectancy
for an American male is,
but I gotta assume we're like halfway there.
I mean that's literally what is happening to us right now.
You don't think it's in the mid 80s?
What is the life expectancy for an adult male American?
And I'm gonna guess that the answer is.
84.
You think it's 84?
I would say it's 81 for a male.
And then for a female, 85.
I would say it's 85 for a female.
I'm saying 84 and 86.
And then Rhett is saying 81 and 85.
Okay, so it was 78.
Oh, 78.
What did I say?
Man, you said 81.
No, for a man I said 81?
I don't remember what you said.
Link, either way you look at it,
we're more than halfway there, man.
You're at, I'm exactly halfway there.
And here's the problem.
I'm exactly halfway there and you're almost halfway there.
The problem is people have just started
putting their finger in our butts.
Yeah and that's all we've got to look forward to
for the next 40 years. We should have been
spreading it out.
Use a better analogy, man. We should have been spreading it out. Use a better analogy, man.
We should have been allowing that to happen much earlier.
If there's a certain amount of finger pokes that you get.
The finger pokes don't have any impact
or effect in the first 40 years.
I felt an impact.
Most people don't need them.
But another thing that has happened,
because I think we should stop talking about the condition.
Yeah let's move, let's move away from it.
Another thing that has happened is
since the last time we made an Ear Biscuit,
we both have teenager children now.
Yeah Lily turned 13 a year ago
and Locke just turned 13.
Just turned 13.
Now.
So we both have 13 year olds.
And I mean my son wasn't even with me when he turned 13.
He was in Africa.
It's funny because Lily was in China.
Well look at us.
We sent him away to become teenagers.
Like go to the other side of the Earth
if you're gonna become a teenager.
She had, I mean.
Don't be with me.
Lily had a friend who's,
one of her best friend's dad was working for Disney,
building the park over there.
Yeah.
Building the Shanghai Disney.
Right.
So they lived over there for,
I can't remember how many months,
four months, six months maybe?
I think they were over there almost a year,
is what I remember.
Maybe, but um.
But Lily went over for a couple weeks.
She went over for a couple of weeks
with friends of the, with family members,
so she flew over there with them
and she turned 13 and we didn't, you know, we didn't.
Didn't even send her a card.
It turned out, you know, she made it.
Turned out we didn't need to be there
for her to become a teenager.
Right, it still happens whether you're there or not.
It's not like quantum mechanics.
And then Locke turned 13 in Africa because he went there
with my wife, one of his friends, again,
it's a friend connection, one of his friends
has started a charity over there helping to build schools
and giving kids resources and access to health services
and that kind of thing and he went over there giving kids resources and access to health services
and that kind of thing. And he went over there with some of his friends
and he was in a hut.
I mean so they did a lot of things.
They were in Uganda but there was one night,
the day of his birthday, where they went to
like a remote village.
So I mean they stayed in like a relatively nice hotel
and they stayed in some different places
but there was the time that they went to the remote village
and it was like we're going to let you guys see
what it's like to stay in a hut, literally a hut,
like is somebody's house.
It's not like, hey, let's bring the western tourists in
and have them stay in a museum piece.
No, it's like this is someone's home that you stay in.
So Jesse and Locke stayed in this person's home and inside of a mosquito net.
You know you had to have a mosquito net.
Yeah sure.
Even though they had all their like malaria stuff
before they went, they had to be in the mosquito net
and he turned 13.
In a mosquito net, that's cool.
In this mosquito net.
And what did he say about it?
I mean, was it, they sleep in the mosquito net
or was it just for them?
No, yeah.
They all sleep in the mosquito net, right?
If you have access to a mosquito net, you use it.
Yeah, yeah.
In fact, that's one of the easiest ways
to help people in Africa is with mosquito nets.
It actually is the most effective way that you can give,
that you can donate in terms of how your dollar impacts saving a human life
is through a mosquito net.
Anyway, so they had a birthday party for him
in this little village and they made a cake for him
and they thought his name was Rocky.
How did that happen?
Because his name is Locke and they brought him up front
and they were like, Rocky?
And he was like, yeah, he didn't want to,
so they sang happy birthday to Rocky.
So not only did he become 13, now we call him Rocky.
He's got a new name.
Yeah, he got a whole new name.
He came back from Africa with a new name, a new identity.
Rocky, he's gonna be a boxer.
But I wrote this, I wrote in his card,
and I try to, I always write a rather.
Legibly, you try to write legibly.
Well and I try to write a rather lengthy,
meaty, somewhat substantial thing
in their birthday cards or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
My wife got me into that because that's kind of,
her family always, my family on the other hand
was always like the way that my mom has always written
in birthday cards has been like she'll take what the card
says inside and she'll like underline three words.
Yeah, yeah.
So she'll like take what was written inside the card,
which is the perfect thing that she selected and bought
and then she'll add her own emphasis.
Emphasis added by Diane.
And then she'll be like what he said.
And then of course she says.
Just above here.
And she will write a couple of sentences
and that's how I always was.
I was like listen, these people know that I love them
and I can communicate that in other ways
than sitting down and writing a card.
But then when I met Jessie, it was like,
oh no, her family does things different.
So they would write very long,
in fact, you had to write a well thought out,
long, different thing.
It couldn't be the same thing that you said last year.
Because they keep it.
Right. And they'll compare.
And so now, I'm writing things
for Valentine's Day and for birthday for my wife,
and of course I'm writing something thoughtful,
but I think this is, it's a better tradition.
I think this is a good adaptation that our family has made.
This is a good thing that you're being forced to do.
Because I think that the kids will look back
and think like, okay, this is what,
this is where I was in my life,
and this is what my dad was communicating to me, and also, hopefully, this is what, this is where I was in my life and this is what my dad
was communicating to me and also hopefully something
that I say now will have some sort of impact.
But I just start thinking, I'm just like, man, he's 13.
He is who he's going to be.
Like that's what, I'm just like, I mean,
I should write something thoughtful and I'm not saying,
I'm not saying I'm no longer parenting
but you just start thinking it's just like,
in a lot of ways, it's over.
With our teenagers, we can guide and we can help direct
and we can be there and we can answer questions
and we can help them make good decisions
and we're gonna continue to do all those things
but when it comes to the core of who they are as a person, the kind of person
that they're gonna be, it is largely determined.
It has largely been determined.
Well, that's not gonna keep us from continuing to try.
Oh, you keep trying, but I'm just.
So you wrote, I mean, is that what you wrote?
I wrote. You wrote something in there.
I said you are who you are.
No, you didn't.
Hasta la vista, no. No, I said you are who you are. No you didn't. Hasta la vista.
No, I, no, I, I.
And he opened it in the mosquito net?
Well I don't know, I haven't talked to him
about the opening of the card.
You should ask him about it.
What I'm trying to say is that I wanted it to be impactful
and I wanted it to be substantial and I wanted it to be like
this is from my dad and I'm turning 13, this is a big deal
and I said all those things.
And I think it was meaningful.
I haven't talked to him about it
but I'm sure it was meaningful.
He hasn't brought it up but I'm sure it impacted him.
But what I was thinking as I was writing it
is like man, 13 years have passed.
It's like if this was 100 years ago,
I'd be like son, good luck with your farm,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, and your wife and three kids or whatever.
I'd be sending him off, I'd be like,
he'd have a woman and they'd be going off
and they'd have a family.
Yes.
You know, like a year from now.
And you'd be dying.
Yeah, and I would've died already,
life expectancy being what it was.
For Lily, we gave her a journal and then I wrote.
So she does the writing.
Yeah, it's like write me something.
No, I wrote a big thing at the front of the journal
that was basically a very similar thing like,
hey, this is my fatherly perspective on where you are
and this is a big trip for you.
And then there was inspirational assignments.
Like I want you to write in this journal
to remember the things that are happening.
I want you to write something every day.
You know, I probably got a little overbearing.
It was like write something in a journal every day
and here's a list of questions that will fill
a half a page of me just writing those out
of questions that you can ask yourself and reflect on.
Like about the culture and how things are different.
I just, you know, I wanted to empower her
to reflect and remember stuff.
You gave like thought starters.
Thought starters.
You created like a journal that you could have sold
to any child who was going to China.
A workbook, yeah.
That's a business idea.
You know, you find out where the kid's going
and you give them a series of questions.
And then when she came back, she was like,
look at all the pictures I took.
Ooh, she didn't answer your questions.
Well, I mean, it was,
Does she still have the journal?
It's her prerogative, you know?
I think that, I don't know if she wrote
in the journal every day.
I didn't feel like it was my business
to police the journal.
It was like, hey, this is, maybe I'm actually
being a little overbearing and giving specific assignments.
But you know.
That's how I would interpret it, but it's okay.
Right, I know I have a tendency to do that.
So that's why on the back end, I'm like,
I'm not gonna demand that I read the journal.
I mean, it is her journal.
It was her prerogative to write stuff in it or not.
And again, that's the best I can do.
I can give journals, I can give cards at Valentine's Day
that say how amazing she is and things like that.
I think the best we can do is when, you know,
it's whatever life throws at you and our kids
that they're able to respond and life doesn't crush them
but they own it, you know?
It's like I'm grabbing life by the horns.
I wanna be a proctologist, I'm gonna do it.
Well that's not the horns.
I understand what that means
but that's what I wanna do with my life. I've told her that she probably shouldn't do it but she's do it. Well that's not the horse. I understand what that means, but that's what I wanna do with my life.
I've told her that she probably shouldn't do it,
but she's into it.
I was trying to bring it back to the proctology.
You're not biting, that's okay.
No.
But I can talk about this.
We, you know, I'll tell you guys, I took,
speaking of Lily, we took her in for just an annual checkup
and the doctor diagnosed, well the doctor said,
you know they always check for scoliosis.
I think it's just something you do every year.
They did it for us in school.
She, they had concerns, sent her to a specialist
and then to make a very long story short,
she was diagnosed with severe scoliosis.
Yeah.
We get the x-ray, the specialist looks at it,
and we look at this thing and her back is like an S.
I mean it just, it floored us.
And you know, when weored us and you know,
when we were driving to the specialist, we knew that she had curves.
We had done research about,
well given certain measurements,
does that mean that there's gonna be bracing,
that she has to wear a brace as she goes through puberty,
as she goes through a growth spurt,
to not correct it but just to stop the curve
from getting worse so that after she's through
a growth spurt, it's something that many people
are just live with and have a normal life
even though their spine is curved.
Or does this mean something more?
Does this mean surgery?
Or some other course of action that the internet
and the first doctor hadn't told us yet.
So on the way to the specialist, I'm riding,
Lily's riding with me and then Christy's driving separately
so that I can leave and come to, I have to come into work.
We had to shoot something that day.
And so I was gonna take her, have some time with her,
and then she was gonna ride back with Christy.
And I just remember telling her on the way there,
based on the measurements of your curves
and the research that I've done on the internet,
which is all the information I can find so far, I just feel like whatever it is,
we're gonna figure this out, we're gonna get through this,
but I'm confident that it's not gonna be surgery.
The doctor's not gonna tell us surgery.
Like I actually told her that.
I just felt, I felt confident based on how the curves
were measured.
But then when we get in with the specialist,
his measurements were A, more accurate,
you know, that's why you go to a specialist
for the specialization, and they were worse.
And I think in retrospect, he's dealt with this so much,
he knew that it takes a while to sink in.
He gave us all the information and it was in a masterful way
but it's almost impossible for it all to sink in.
But basically the first thing he told us was
these are where her curves are, this is what this means,
these are the facts, this is what research has taught us,
this is what experience has taught us,
therefore we're recommending spinal fusion surgery
for Lily, of course it's me, Christy, and Lily in the room.
And he's explaining a lot of it.
And I just didn't think he was gonna say that, you know?
So it absolutely floored me, like Christy and I
were just speechless and the doctor,
he was very understanding and he allowed us
to ask questions but there was that moment
where it was like, I don't know what to say,
we're gonna have to regroup on this,
but then you catch your breath and you ask questions,
and we asked some clarifying questions
about what that meant, what all the alternatives were.
Well, and to clarify, because it's such a major surgery,
I mean, because a lot of people will be like,
don't get surgery, so I mean, you've gotten a second opinion.
You've talked to multiple people.
Yeah, we've gotten, I mean, since then,
yeah, we've gotten a second opinion and a third opinion
and we've explored many other options,
many different types of procedures
and come to the conclusion that yes,
this is the right decision for Lily.
But it's not the, and so surgery is scheduled for
not too far down the road, but.
And it's like, you know, it's pretty much
the whole middle of her back, you know, it's like.
It's major. It's major.
It's major.
But in that moment, when we're sitting there,
I look at Lily and like we're floored
and I mean she was surprised but I was just,
I was surprised that her reaction was,
well, I know what I wanna do but I wanna hear
what you guys think.
It's like that's what she said.
So then we were like, well, this is not an easy decision.
It's probably not, we're not gonna make it right here
in the doctor's office.
We're gonna have to think about this
and look at all of our options.
Right.
And she was like, you know, if this is what needs to happen,
I'm ready to do it, you know.
If the surgery's the right thing, I wanna do it.
And it wasn't, her first reaction wasn't fear,
it was okay, if this is how we have to move forward,
then let's do it.
I reflected on that a lot and I was,
what we left, I mean, we left the doctor's office,
we went out, we got in the van and it was like the three of us
and we talked about it some more and we cried.
You know, all three of us cried
because it was, of course it was and it is very scary.
But the fact that, you know,
as a 13 year old to be struck with such scary news
that she wasn't dominated by fear.
She wasn't debilitated by it.
She was able to have, I don't know if,
I don't wanna say it was a mature response.
For her, her honest response was okay, let's engage. Let's figure it was a mature response. For her, her honest response was,
okay, let's engage, let's figure this out.
She handled it better than you.
She handled it better than I did, yeah.
Than Christy did.
Yeah, than I did, certainly.
And we've had more conversations,
there's been more tears, there's been a lot of,
I mean, a lot of just being honest
and staying on the same page and trying to figure it out.
But I mean, my point is, it's times like that
that you figure out who your kid is as a person.
And you start to look at your kid not as a kid anymore
but as another human.
You know, it's like it could be,
yeah, it could be you, it could be me,
it could be, you know, stuff's gonna hit all of us.
And what you realize is that, you know,
we like to take a lot of credit for things, you know?
Right, right.
But the fact is is that her response to that situation
is not something that you taught her or your wife taught her
because I know you and your wife and know that
if you were personally impacted by that,
you would, and if I was personally impacted by that,
like we've already established I'm a hypochondriac.
It's in my genes to just worry about that.
Like if I was facing that, you know,
I've told the story before when I found out
that I had herniated discs which can in some cases,
some extreme cases result in a spinal fusion surgery
of just a couple of vertebrae.
Yeah.
I fainted when the doctor told me that I had
herniated discs.
In the room by yourself and then when he came.
He told me and he left the room and then I fainted
because I was freaking out.
And you came to before he came back in
and then you acted like nothing happened.
But I think we should take some comfort in that.
Yeah.
All of us as individuals and as parents
because the fact is is that you do what you can.
This is not advocating for not parenting.
This is advocating definitely for parenting
and supporting and being there.
But it's also kind of taking the pressure off yourself
because you could not have done anything
to prepare Lily for that situation
because you personally as a mature adult
were not prepared for it, but it was in her disposition
to be prepared for that moment.
I mean, and it certainly.
It's not like it's easy for her,
I'm not saying that.
Well it's a little bit, it's both factors.
I mean you do everything you can to raise your kid
and I mean it's not the first hard time we've been through
and you figure that out as a family,
everything you go through and you learn from all that stuff.
I mean we are having an impact on who our kids are.
Well yes, but I'm saying that side of it
is the side that you always hear, right?
That's the side that you hear in all the parenting books.
I mean parenting books, the whole parenting book market
is completely based on the presumption
that you can have a drastic impact on the lives of your children.
And you can.
But that sells books and it gives people jobs
and nobody wants to hear, well, your kid is also,
for a lot of other reasons, both nature and nurture
and things that are outside of your control,
going to be a certain way.
Nobody wants to hear that because it makes you feel powerless
and it makes you feel like you don't have a lot of control.
But it doesn't mean that it's not largely true.
In fact, I was listening to a podcast,
I can't remember which one it was,
but one of the foremost child psychologists
was the guest on the show.
And he was basically saying exactly
what I'm saying right now.
I'm no expert, he is actually an expert.
He's like, there's a lot of people out there
who claim to know a whole lot about psychology of children
and what we have found through,
every study has been very inconclusive
and actually what our research tells us
when you look at all the research is that
in a large measure, kids are gonna be
who they're going to be.
Doesn't mean that parenting is not very important
and that you put kids in one situation
on one side of the earth and another kid
in another situation,
that their circumstances are definitely gonna determine
many things about their future and their outcome.
But personality makeup and disposition
is a big part of that is gonna be determined by genetics.
And then there'll be some very formative events
that can kind of send things in different ways.
But as a parent, I mean first of all,
I think there's a balance here because our wives
have been the ones who've read all the parenting books
and have like obsessed about, you know,
they've homeschooled the kids.
Yeah, to their credit.
They've invested all this time into,
and I think there's been immeasurable impact.
So I don't wanna diminish that.
At the same time, we can take comfort in the fact
that it's like, okay, we do what we can,
but in the midst of a real trying moment like this,
like her finding out that she's gotta have this surgery,
it's like that response that she's gonna have,
that's kinda largely determined by who she just is.
And I wanna make sure that in sharing the story that,
and I'm just concerned that I don't wanna make sure
I'm not leaving a lot of unanswered questions
that people would be concerned about.
Yeah, right.
Having not like calculated exactly how I wanted
to talk about it or anything in terms of like
when is this thing, we're talking like early May.
So I mean it's, I guess I owe you an update
after that point but yeah we feel very, I don't know,
is there any unanswered, any?
No, I mean, I think you covered it,
that she's, you know, the surgery is definitely
the best option given her circumstances
and it's gonna be a serious spinal fusion surgery
with a pretty long recovery time.
But there's lots of people who've had the surgery, lots of, you can go, there's lots of people with a pretty long recovery time but the,
there's lots of people who've had the surgery,
lots of, you can go, there's lots of people on YouTube,
lots of kids who've made YouTube videos
about their journey through this kind of surgery.
I came back, we were in the van,
when I said that we were crying together
and then we, I still had to come in.
You know, it's like, I was,
I think because of some sort of circumstance
with us going to Sundance,
which then I wasn't gonna go to Sundance,
and then Lily and Christy both told me
to keep our plans to go to Sundance,
even though it was, I didn't wanna go
and I didn't wanna leave them at that point.
They wanted me to go and that turned out to be
a good situation for all of us for that to happen.
Yeah, we had to come in and shoot Good Mythical Morning.
So we had to come in and we had to shoot
Good Mythical Morning before we left for that.
So then I'm driving in alone and I'm just thinking, I can't,
I knew that we had to shoot and I was like,
I can't talk about this because then we wouldn't
be able to shoot the episode.
Can't remember what the episode was at this point.
And then it's like in the drive in,
that was kind of the conclusion,
it's like I'm not gonna talk about this
because I'm gonna get upset, we won't be able to shoot.
We could talk about it later.
Well which is an interesting, I think a lot of people,
you know, we're not vloggers, right?
I mean, we do unscripted video when we do
Good Mythical Morning and I guess it can technically
be classified as a vlog,
right, but we're not like family vloggers who are like,
hey, we're letting you into our family
and giving you this insight.
We make a show, we make a show that has a very specific
purpose and the primary purpose of Good Mythical Morning
is to entertain the audience and to give people a break
from the bull crap.
Yeah, I mean, everybody's got stuff.
Everyone's learning the same type of information
that Lily learned that morning.
And watching our show is a reprieve.
I want people when they get that bad news,
they can count on our show to be a reprieve
in those 15 minutes or whatever.
And people may say, listen, no, but if you guys
are going through something super serious like that,
just stop and tell us or make the show about that.
It's like, no, we're not gonna do that.
We're talking about it on Ear Biscuits.
Yeah.
That's another reason to do Ear Biscuits.
We're gonna talk about things like this
that we're not gonna bring into Good Mythical Morning
because that's not the purpose of that show.
It's not designed to be this open book into our lives.
It's designed to be,
it's a particular type of entertainment.
But ironically, I was trying to remember
where I was going with that.
But okay, so when I came in,
I had enough breathing time on my drive in
that when I, I didn't make an accurate decision,
but I walked into our office before we had a shoot
and you were like, tell me about it.
And then I'm not gonna be like,
I can't talk about it right now.
I just told you about it.
And it was like, it actually made me feel better
to just be able to talk through it.
Cause it's like okay,
I'm such a verbal processor that I can,
if I stay inside of my own head,
it would just be like a fear cycle of this is horrible.
So it was helpful for me to field your questions
and then it's like you started looking
on the internet immediately.
But we pulled up YouTube videos,
the irony is we said we didn't talk about this stuff
on YouTube but then we ended up finding a lot of people,
mostly girls, I mean so many girls.
Well it's actually much more common in females.
Yeah who are like beginning to go through puberty
at that age or whatever, who the type of scoliosis, I can't remember the name
right now, but basically the name says they don't know
what causes it.
That's in the name of it.
But a lot of these girls have put their my scoliosis story
and a lot of them had had the spinal fusion surgery
and it kind of vlogged through the process
or put their before and after pictures
and just kinda talked about the process.
I think when you go through it, it's the type of thing.
And we've met other kids who are going through
and have gone through the surgery in person
and Lily has talked to them, become friends with some of them.
But the first exposure was YouTube videos
that you and I watched that then I shared
with Christy and Lily and that,
it gave us a lot of comfort and confidence
that there was a path.
You know, we didn't know if it was our path yet
but we know that it was a valuable path
that these people went on YouTube,
shared their stories and we immediately benefited from it.
I think that was my point, yeah.
It all comes back to YouTube.
It's all about YouTube.
Yeah that's really the message here.
They monetized their surgery just like
we're monetizing this.
Without YouTube we wouldn't be here.
Link would have no hope.
That's not true.
Not true, but to bring it back to, again,
we didn't know what this show was gonna be about.
This is what it has become.
Man, we took a turn here.
We opened, we spread the cheeks.
Spread the cheeks.
For the proctologist for a good half hour.
And then we opened our hearts, man.
I mean this is an ear biscuit,
this is what makes a complete ear biscuit.
It's not always gonna be this,
but to round out the whole point of the show,
I guess which became about us getting older,
I think there's a few markers, right?
There's a few markers.
One is the being probed personally,
but then there's this thing that I think I've experienced,
I know you've experienced ever since I held
my first child, Locke, in my hands.
You mean Rocky?
Rocky. You're talking about Rocky.
Yeah, I was like, oh crap.
Oh no, I'm gonna worry a lot about this.
You know what I'm saying?
Like now, oh, I have to worry about this child
because I'm so concerned about them
and this is going to be difficult for me.
You know, this, I might, like you kinda like feel your heart
like kinda change a little bit, grow a little bit
and become a little bit more vulnerable.
And I don't want to be one of those guys
that's like you don't understand life
if you don't have children.
No, you have a lot more free time
and can see a lot more movies if you don't have children.
So there are a lot of reasons not to have children.
But movies and free time, just hobbies.
That's what you mean?
The good life.
Okay.
But when you do have a kid,
it brings this sense of responsibility
and this constant worrying about their welfare.
So with something like Lily's going through,
it's just these kinds of things are gonna happen.
These are the kind of things that you dread. These are the kind of things that you dread
but they're the kind of things that you happen.
And it's out of your control.
Even though our first thing was how did we not notice this?
Is it our fault that it got to this point?
Right.
And you know that's not the case
but that's still the first thing you think
because you wanna think that you can have control
over something, especially if you really love it.
Yeah.
You were trying to summarize.
Well, you know, that is,
that's where we're at right now.
We're in a place where we're going to the doctor
for ourselves and for our children.
That's where we're at. And we're gonna keep doing Ear Biscuits.
We're gonna bring you a biscuit every week.
And to give you a little preview
of what season three might hold.
Okay.
It's gonna be a lot, I would say it's gonna be
a lot looser and a lot different and may go a lot more places
and different places than previous seasons have gone.
Yeah because we haven't planned it.
I mean, I'm, I've, we haven't even, we've discussed,
we haven't discussed what it will be,
we've discussed what we don't want it to be.
The same philosophy that I've been taking with my hair
in 2017 and just letting it do what it wants to do
is the same philosophy that we're taking with Ear Biscuits.
We're gonna let it be what it wants to be.
Sometimes it's gonna be the two of us.
Sometimes we're gonna bring somebody else.
The previous two seasons, the majority of the episodes
were us just sitting down and doing like a very
deep interview with most often
a YouTube personality.
Right.
Not saying that's not gonna happen,
but that's not gonna be the main thrust of the show.
We're gonna talk to each other a lot,
we're gonna talk to other people.
We may be talking to you guys at some point,
taking your questions.
We don't know.
We're gonna keep it open, we're going to keep it loose,
but keep it tight.
And the one thing we're gonna do is we're gonna keep
doing it.
Not the sphincter. Like a sphincter.
Yeah.
We're gonna keep it loose and keep it tight.
That's what we almost called this podcast, sphincter.
But we didn't.
Yeah.
And we don't.
Thankfully we didn't but that might be the name
of the first episode.
But if we take this podcast to a Ugandan tent,
it may be called Sphincter.
Yeah.
It may get a new name.
Who knows, I don't know how it translates to Ugandan.
Thank you guys.
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Yes.