Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Ep. 26 Rhett & Link "Girls" - Ear Biscuits
Episode Date: March 28, 2014In the second installment of the Rhett & Link- Only "Ear Biscuits" series, the guys discuss their adolescent experiences with the opposite sex. Rhett & Link take the listeners through the lurid detail...s of their past romantic escapades from a failed joint-voyeuristic experience, to first kisses, awkward double dates, drama-filled school dances, and more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I'm Rhett.
And I'm Link.
Thank you for listening to this very special Ear Biscuit,
especially for your ears.
Your ears. Your ears.
I'm talking to you's ears right now.
That's an interesting perspective that you're bringing to the table today.
This week at the round table of dimmed lighting,
who interesting from the internet are we talking to?
Nobody.
Each other's man.
Each other's.
That's right.
Okay.
So a month ago we did the,
just Rhett and Link asking each other questions,
Ear Biscuit.
And we got a lot of positive feedback on that.
So we have indeed decided to continue it right now,
the second installment.
Yeah, I got to say it was fun to talk to you
and to ask you questions in a way that I typically would not.
There's something about, you know, I don't sit around.
We work all the time.
You know, I ask you questions like, where are the keys?
That's usually a question that I ask.
Is that your shirt?
Where did I put the keys?
What are we doing today?
Why are we wearing the same shirt?
Should you go back in and change?
Yeah.
Did you fart?
I ask you that quite a bit, too.
And you ask me that quite a bit.
These are the kinds of questions that we ask each other
in a typical work day.
As well as business type of it. These are the kinds of questions that we ask each other in a typical work day. As well as business type of thing. Now, I mean, we have conversations as friends sometimes,
but they have to kind of slide in there because there's so much that we're trying to accomplish
from like a professional standpoint. And I'm not just saying that we don't talk as friends. I'm
just saying that there's something about the format of being like, okay, I've got some questions prepared for you. You've got some questions prepared for me that lends itself to a
different level of authenticity or something. I don't know what it is. I'm just saying that.
Well, I don't sit around and think, you know what? I'm going to try to remember if there's
anything that I don't know about Link or I'm going to get, you know, we don't go back and talk about those things
other than just to reminisce, but I'm like,
no, what was actually going on in your mind at that point?
Well, we don't take time to reminisce
in 60-minute chunks.
There you go, that's what I'm looking for.
In order to gain new insight into our brains.
While wearing headphones and talking into microphones.
But that's what we're doing.
In a room alone.
Okay, so I think we put a pin in one topic,
which I started to ask, and then I said,
we need to wait because this is going to open
a whole can of conversation up on some people.
Right.
And that is, I guess, what can be my first question,
which is, Rhett, why were you so obsessed
with girls growing up?
Now, do you have anything else by way of intro that you want to get into
before you start answering my question?
Are we diving into the deep end?
We could dive right into it.
I could premise it with saying that if you didn't listen to last month's episode,
it was us asking questions about our childhood,
and then that led into this question that Link asked,
and we were like, hold on, you know what?
This actually could be a whole episode. episode is just talking about girls growing up.
Right.
Our experience with the greater sex.
Is that how we should say it?
Yeah, sure.
And you shouldn't say the fairer sex.
The fairer sex.
Because that doesn't really fly anymore.
Because some of them have tans.
Yeah, some of them go to the tanning bed and use spray tans. Or just beachcombing. I would just say in general, women are tanner than men, usually. I
mean, the average woman, I would say. That can't be true. Okay, that's my new first question.
Why would you think that on average women are tanner than men? No, okay. Don't answer that.
Why was I obsessed with girls?
Well, first of all, are you going to own that?
Oh, well, heck yeah, I'm going to own it.
I'm going to tell you right now that from a very early age,
I would say definitely first grade.
So basically the time that I met you.
Definitely first grade.
So basically the time that I met you.
I say a large percentage, the majority of my thoughts were directed at girls.
And not just girls in general, but I had a tendency to fixate.
On one girl at a time.
Or maybe two at a time. Maybe two or three at a time,
but it was, it's like.
Fixate from a distance.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it wasn't, I mean,
it may sound creepy for me to talk about it,
but it was not, I mean,
I didn't really act on these things.
You know, it wasn't like I'm like,
okay, well, I'm gonna like stalk this girl.
So what do you mean by fixate?
Just meaning that I would just spend a lot of time thinking about these particular girls.
Or, you know, I remember, you know,
the girl that I thought about the most
in those first few years in North Carolina
was definitely Holly Womble.
Uh-huh.
You know, she was a family friend.
She was older than me.
She was cute.
Three years older.
Two years older.
Okay.
She was cute.
And I just, that's all it took. I mean, she was three years older two years older okay she was cute and i just that's all it took i mean she was cute and um or as we would have said she was fine you remember that's what
we said we said girls were fine well not in first grade probably but i mean by middle school we
would say i said it in maybe second third grade i had an older brother okay you didn't invent the
term i just you know no no i'm just saying that's that's what we, you didn't invent the term. I just, you know. No, no, I'm just saying that's what we said.
We didn't use the term cute.
They use that today.
And we didn't use the term hot.
That was something that sounded like inappropriate.
We never said a girl was hot.
We said a girl was fine.
Fine.
But fine, yeah.
So Holly was fine.
And you would just find yourself just daydreaming about her.
Oh, yeah.
Is that what you mean?
Daydreaming and nightdreaming.
I mean, yeah, just thinking about, like, how could...
I knew that there was such a thing as the institution of a relationship,
a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
I didn't actually think, you know, at that age,
that it was something that was a realistic thing.
But I do remember as early as second and third grade having dreams.
You know, when you're a kid, you have lucid dreams all the time, right?
I flew in my dreams all the time.
Regularly had lucid dreams
where I would realize I was dreaming
and then control the dream.
And in almost every single dream
that I had where I was lucid dreaming,
the first thing I'd do was fly.
And then when I got up in the air,
I would be like,
well, I'm gonna fly to holly's house and i would i never knew what i was gonna do when i got there but i
would always get to her doorstep and i would uh her mom would answer the door and i would say
is holly home and she would be like right you can't come in the mom always stopped it so
appropriately yeah why is this flying
first grader
at my doorstep
but I gotta say
that it did start
at that point
did you ever talk to her
in real life
to Holly
yeah
yeah yeah
all the time
and I mean
later in life
when she was
in high school
when we were both
in high school
I got very
flirtatious with her
and would say
ridiculous things to her.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
You remember we would go on these mission trips
with church and stuff?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We would go to Trinidad and other places
and she would go.
Oh, I remember that.
And I would just say things to her like,
you know, we're gonna be together.
I mean, I talked just explicitly to her.
Not explicitly.
I talked directly, not explicitly.
That's the wrong word.
I did not talk dirty to her, but I said things like, you know, we're going to be together. You know,
I know I'm two years younger than you. And it never worked. Age is nothing but a number, baby.
Did you ever try that one? I said some ridiculous things. I do remember saying ridiculous things.
That's great. It was never successful. And then eventually, you know, eventually she went off to college or
whatever. And I mean, it wasn't like I was obsessed with her the entire, my entire childhood.
I continued to try later on, but yeah, it was her. Lisa, Lisa, uh. Johnson. Johnson. She was tall.
I was obsessed with her. She was older too. She was a year older. And I don't know. So to get to
the real question, which is why it's, I want to flip it back on you for. And I don't know. So to get to your real question, which is why,
I want to flip it back on you for this because I don't know why
because this just seemed like I could not avoid it.
I just thought about girls all the time.
And I want to know, here's a question for you.
What were you thinking about in adolescence?
I think I thought about girls a normal amount,
about in adolescence? I think I thought about girls a normal amount.
Like 25% of the time girls, 25% of the time G.I. Joes,
25% of the time what I'm gonna eat,
and 25% of the time school, you know, friends,
everything else, catch all kind of a thing.
But for you it just seemed like a unnaturally
large piece of your pie.
So I'm not saying I didn't think about girls,
but I certainly didn't talk to anybody about it.
I didn't talk to anybody about it.
I would have talked to you about it.
I didn't talk to you about it.
I kept it all to myself.
But there are some kids who are like, oh, she's my girlfriend,
or he's my boyfriend.
Like younger kids I see these days kind of have the boyfriend-girlfriend thing.
You didn't have that until, you know, it was like official go time, middle school,
when you could really go with somebody, quote unquote.
Well, and I will say that, you know, it wasn't – so I spent those first few years, and as you did too, I mean, thinking about girls, okay, a certain percentage of the time, maybe higher for me, but there was no action taken.
I was still just doing things like playing sports and doing school and those kinds of things and just nervously interacting with girls that I liked, dreaming about them.
But sixth grade rolls around,
and a really important thing happened over the summer
between fifth and sixth grade,
and that is that Leslie Peebles and Amber Stevenson
moved into town.
Now, they weren't sisters.
They actually moved from different places,
but they became best friends.
So they were like the two new girls on the block.
Yeah.
And both very cute.
Oh, yeah.
And kind of could have been sisters at that age
You kind of, okay, did they move at the same time?
Are they sisters? No
Well, and you gotta, to put this into context
Not that it mattered if they were sisters
I don't know why
They would have been twins probably
We grew up in such a small place
You know, Buies Creek, North Carolina
There's, you know, a thousand people there, you know, when the students are at Campbell University are
out of town. And they actually both moved to Lillington, the neighboring city town,
but they both came to Buies Creek Elementary for reasons I didn't know. I don't know. I don't know
why they chose Buies Creek. They did that. But Leslie became your first girlfriend in sixth grade.
Was that a result of you pinpointing
your obsession on her?
Well, of course.
Is that how it happened?
Yeah.
What happened?
As soon as they both moved to town,
and this is kind of what I was getting at,
when a new girl came into town,
it was like a big deal
because you had been with the same 25 people
since first grade, essentially,
with a small turnover.
You know, oh, there's a new person.
Oh, a person leaves.
It was like a testosterone-laced bidding war of dating.
Well, yeah.
Unspoken.
It was becoming that.
And I think it all goes back to
the way that Mrs. Lanier organized the desks.
You were in Ms. Campbell's class that year.
Yep.
For some reason.
I remember this story.
We won't get into your academic deficiencies.
I think they were just perceived by the administration for some reason.
You were actually a good student.
But for whatever reason, you were in Ms. Campbell's class.
And I was in Ms. Lanier's class.
And Ms. Lanier made the decision to organize the desks
into sets of four, like a cloverleaf, and you faced one another. And, you know, I have told
this story in another context before, a GMM or a live show or something, I don't know, but,
so I'll make it quick. But essentially the way it worked is you set, I set right next to Leslie,
so at a 90 degree angle with her. And I remember it was, I've been sitting there all year with her like this.
But summer was coming and it was springtime and I had on shorts and she had on shorts.
Flowers were budding.
And it just hit me.
Pollen was in the air.
I was like, I could touch her knee with my, I could touch her leg with my knee.
You know, I was like, here I've been sitting all year on this possibility, and now I can make it happen.
Her knee is exposed, my leg is exposed.
Yeah, and so I was like, I'm gonna go for it.
I don't know, and I had been thinking about it
the whole time, because I was like,
this girl is good looking, and she sits next to me,
and so I remember one day, I just said,
I'm gonna go for it.
She was tanner than you, too.
She was very tan all the time.
I started slumping down in my chair.
Slouching.
Slouching.
And kind of sticking my leg out towards her.
And I just kind of started directing it in her direction.
I couldn't see because it's under the desk.
I'm like, well, I'll know it when I hit it.
It's like I'm drilling for something.
This is weird.
And so I go a couple inches and then a couple inches more.
I'm like, where the heck is this girl's leg at?
And I mean, at this point, I'm sitting in an awkward position,
and I should have been told to sit up.
I look like I'm falling asleep.
My head is barely sticking up above the top of the desk.
And she's right beside you, basically.
Yeah, basically.
And then eventually I make contact.
I feel skin on skin, and everything changes.
But she immediately recoils and looks at me.
And I'm like, okay, mission accomplished.
I got her attention.
Oh, that's not mission accomplished.
She recoiled.
But then I kept eye contact, and I moved the leg a little bit further.
I made contact for a second time.
Oh, my goodness.
She recoiled again.
At this point, you're like horizontal, dude. Yeah.
And then she says, oh, Rhett,
you've got some long legs.
I was like, you're right, baby, I do.
You didn't say that. I didn't say anything.
I was just kind of just, I was like, oh,
I don't know what I said. But then I just,
after she said that
for a third time.
After that? You did it again? I went in and
she still recoiled.
She always backed off.
That's so weird, dude.
And then eventually I was like, I sat back up and I was like, I think I've sent a message here.
You know, I've accomplished something.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah, change seats.
Then the next thing that I know, like in the days following that, I find out that Tate Maddox likes Leslie.
It becomes known publicly that Tate Maddox likes Leslie.
And then I'm like, well, I like Leslie.
And as a matter of fact,
I touched her leg the other day with my knee.
I didn't say that, but that's what I was thinking.
I've claimed her, essentially.
She recoiled three times.
She's mine.
That's all it took was finding out
that Tate was interested to know
that I was also interested.
Hold on, I got this in the buzz.
So I told Amber that I was interested in Leslie.
One thing led to another.
Leslie's like, yeah, I do like Rhett
and I will go with him.
I will be his girlfriend.
And so we started a relationship
all because I reached out and touched someone.
And Tate got you off the dime. Yeah, yeah. And so we started a relationship, all because I reached out and touched someone. And Tate got you off the dime.
Yeah, yeah.
And Tate lost.
I remember being in the library.
It was the library session that day,
Ms. Campbell's class,
and word trickles into the library.
Oh, yeah.
Rhett is going with Leslie.
That's what we called it, going.
And my heart just drops.
I'm like, man, I'm just behind.
I'm in a different class in more ways than one all of a sudden.
I'm single.
And what am I going to do?
I guess I'll just have to wait for them to break up.
I mean, you know, I don't remember what I was thinking,
but just my inference from what happened was, well, I waited over the course of the summer and then she became my girlfriend the next year, seventh grade.
Yeah, because we, I mean, we only went, we only went together for one month and then she dumped me because it was summertime.
She was like, I mean, and actually, actually actually, I initiated the relationship through Amber,
and then Amber broke up with me for Leslie.
She called me and basically said, you know, it's summertime.
You know, you're five miles away.
Oh, goodness.
You go to a different pool.
You go to a different pool.
I mean, how can this relationship work over the summer?
Let's just be real.
And I was like, okay, whatever.
My relationship with leslie in
seventh grade was short-lived i remember very little about it but how did it start because
that i don't i can't remember how it started my question for you was i i know how all my
relationships started and that was with me initiating them and but my my recollection
of how all your relationships started was that the girl would always initiate.
I would venture to guess that's how it happened with Leslie because that's how it happened with Amber months later.
Amber sat in front of me in history class, and one day she played the game, I know somebody who likes you.
And so I'm guessing girls, well, does she like me?
No.
Does she like me?
No.
And I guessed every girl except Amber.
Yeah.
And then I finally guessed Amber, and she's like, yep.
And then we started going together.
So it was on her initiative that we went together.
And that was seventh grade.
Seventh grade.
Yeah.
So I dated Leslie, my first girlfriend, in sixth grade. You dated Leslie, your first girlfriend, in seventh grade. Yeah, so I dated Leslie, my first girlfriend, in sixth grade.
You dated Leslie, your first girlfriend, in seventh grade.
Then you turned around.
Your relationship with Leslie was short-lived and uneventful,
and then you start the relationship with Amber.
Yeah.
Which is your second girlfriend in seventh grade.
Yeah, and then that's when the party at the Lillington Community Center
with the train cabo Oh, yeah, the caboose or whatever it is.
Train caboose there beside it.
We're sitting in there and sitting beside Michael Juby and Anna.
They were together, and they started kissing each other.
Yeah.
And then Mike kind of looked.
It's the community center.
What else are you supposed to do?
Mike kind of looks at me, and we're sitting right next to him,
and he kind of like gives me the nod like, all right, now it's your turn.
And so I'm like, oh my goodness.
So then I turn and give Amber the first kiss of my life.
Wow, and so how was that?
It was amazing for like seven seconds.
No, you didn't go seven seconds.
I specifically remember, you're bad with numbers.
I went for seven seconds with Amber the first time.
That was my first kiss.
I distinctly remember you saying-
The kiss went for seven seconds, let's clarify.
Okay, so mine was probably less than that.
Three seconds.
You know how time seems to stop,
especially when it's your first kiss ever.
And wow, that was something to remember,
especially with Michael Juby right there,
just kind of timing it.
That's how we knew that it was, I lost track of time,
but I guess he said four seconds.
You got to appreciate Michael Juby, you know?
I mean, he was always the smartest of all of us.
He was always the one that-
He always had a girlfriend.
He always had a girlfriend.
Always one step ahead.
He was a ladies' man.
And he was the kind of guy that, you know,
you needed a Michael Juby in that situation.
To give me the nod.
Yeah, if Michael had not given you the nod.
I would have just stared straight ahead, man.
What would we be talking about right now?
We may not even be here.
You know, it's possible we wouldn't even be here
if Michael Juby hadn't given you the nod.
Yeah, it changed everything, I guess.
My experience.
Because then it was like, now you have to catch up.
Now you have to date Amber.
And you have to kiss her.
Yeah, on the night. Because you did not kiss Leslie. And you have to kiss her. Yeah, on the night.
Because you did not kiss Leslie.
Neither did I.
I was scared.
I got so close.
I got so close.
But Matt McKinney was there.
It wasn't Michael Juby.
He didn't give me the nod, so I didn't.
Matt McKinney was with Amber at the time.
I was next to him with Leslie.
Leslie.
Leslie.
Leslie didn't.
Matt didn't give me the nod, so I didn't follow through.
But Michael Juby was there on the night of my first kiss,
which incidentally, we're not making this up, by the way.
We had the same first girlfriend and the same first kiss.
My first kiss was also with Amber.
Small town.
But we were, you know how we would go over to Campbell University
and we would hang out at Shell's Place?
Yeah, and sometime maybe see a movie.
Right.
On the college campus.
Underneath D. Rich Auditorium, which is still there today,
there was a little restaurant that I don't believe is there anymore.
It wasn't there recently.
And we'd hang out.
We're middle schoolers kind of hanging out on the college campus.
I mean, it's kind of like a dream come true, right?
And we're sitting in there in the little lounge area.
And I don't know who Michael was dating at the time.
I just know that he went out and he kind of comes back and he's like, you know, I just went out there and kissed so-and-so, whoever I was.
He was good.
And I'm like, okay.
And I remember I had on my blue Nike sweatshirt, which gave me a lot of confidence.
It was actually what I took my school picture in that year.
So he basically gave you the nod.
He was like, dude,
I just went outside
and kissed my girlfriend.
He gave me,
he took the lead
and then I knew
what I was supposed to do.
And I walked out
of D. Rich Auditorium.
I walked right to that fountain.
You know the fountain
right outside of D. Rich Auditorium.
It's right there
in between the cafeteria
and the auditorium
and the dorm rooms.
And I sat there
in my blue Nike sweatshirt.
I sat down next to Amber and I just went for it.
And again, seven seconds.
Could be the best, not the best seven seconds of my life,
but definitely the best seven seconds of that year.
And then I just walked back into the restaurant
and just kind of gave Michael the nod,
like, you know, mission accomplished.
I'm a new man.
Did you ever practice kissing?
What do you mean with like a?
Like on your hand.
No.
I did, I practiced kissing in the shower.
I kissed my shower.
The nozzle?
All this water's coming out
Yeah, because that's not a good simulation
That's a messy kiss
Unless the girl's really salivating
I was totally ready for the most messy kiss
No, I would kiss the wall of the shower
Pretty embarrassing, huh?
That's also not a great simulation
No, I don't know
I don't know what
I can only imagine what it was like
to receive that first kiss from you
he kisses like he's been kissing a shower
I don't know how I was but no
you never practiced
I just didn't need practice I had on my sweatshirt man
I mean you know
oh man
there's plenty of people who I think
I've heard that many people have practiced by kissing their hand.
And so I refuse to feel totally stupid for my confession.
Probably lots of people have practiced.
Now, but one interesting thing.
Here's a question for you.
Is that shortly after I started dating Amber, you began dating Anna.
Now...
This was eighth grade.
Eighth grade.
Anna was the smartest girl
in our school.
That's right, because that matters.
I remember finding out, I mean, this girl is really
smart. I remember
thinking, now first of all,
you were my best friend, so
nothing against you. I just remember thinking,
I thought Anna was the smartest
girl in school
and she's dating Link.
And I seriously remember thinking,
this doesn't make any sense on any level.
You sense some incompatibility.
I was like, what are they talking about?
So did you have like in-depth
philosophical conversations with this girl?
I remember there being anxiety-laden phone calls.
That's why Leslie dumped me,
by the way,
because I couldn't carry on
a phone call.
Amber was very talkative.
It didn't matter
if he talked or not.
Yeah, she just kept talking.
And by Anna,
I think I figured out
how to actually have
at least a conversation
with a girl on a telephone.
I think I still remember
her phone number right now,
matter of fact.
Okay, well.
I'm not gonna say it,
because then we have to go through
and beep the phone numbers.
We're saying last names.
Isn't that good enough for you people?
Yeah, right.
It's probably wrong, but whatever.
I don't recall the specifics of it, no.
Well, I do recall one specific thing.
So you dated her.
And we're gonna talk about this?
Yes, we are.
You dated her for a while. I talk about this? Yes, we are.
You dated her for a while.
I mean, I dated Amber pretty much
my entire eighth grade year,
and I recall you dating Anna most of that year.
Yeah.
But I do remember you inviting me somewhere one night.
Now this is something that way back on
Good Morning Chia Lincoln, we almost talked about.
And I remember saying, we'll talk about that another time.
And then we never went back and talked about it.
And so I do want to premise this with this.
This was not a good idea.
We don't recommend anything that we're talking about.
First of all, I'm not proud of this.
But yes, I did one night where we were going to you and and I, were going to see a movie at Campbell.
Our parents would drop us off.
Yeah.
Instead of going to the movie, we're like, all right, let's just walk off campus, walk over to Anna's house.
Yeah, you were like, you want to go to my girlfriend's house and look in her windows.
Yeah.
And of course I'm like, well, yeah.
But, you know, what a good friend you are.
Thanks. I mean, Thanks for including me.
I thought it was weird on a lot of levels, but I was there.
I was along for the ride.
Now, in fairness, we were not right up against a window.
We were behind a wood pile.
Yeah.
We were a little...
We were 50 feet from the house.
We were further back.
And it wasn't like we wanted to see anything specifically.
We were 50 feet from the house.
We were further back.
And it wasn't like we wanted to see anything specifically.
It was just the idea in general of being sneaky and I don't know.
It wasn't about seeing something.
It was about the act of the clandestine act in itself was just.
I don't know what it was about.
I was just like. I don't know what the motive was.
This seems like a good idea is what I was thinking.
And this guy's letting me do it with him.
So we did see my girlfriend at the time
folding clothes,
and she was also fully clothed.
Yeah, yeah.
So there's that, but it happened,
and it's over.
I do kind of.
And no one ever knew until now.
No, but I do, I do.
We never discussed it.
One of the, right,
but one of the things I've noticed
as I ask you these questions is that you don't really remember what was going through your mind very much back then.
Is it because there wasn't a lot going through it?
That's why I dated Anna, because so much was going through her mind for the both of us.
So, I mean, so what.
I mean, that's pretty numb nutting.
What do you think you were thinking?
That it would be fun.
I mean, it was great.
It was, yeah, it was a clandestine operation.
I've never told you thanks for bringing me along,
but thanks for bringing me along.
You're welcome.
You wouldn't have done that for me?
No, I would not have done that.
You would have gone to,
or did you go to any of your girlfriend's backyards?
Well, if I went over to my girlfriend's house,
I would just go into the house.
I'd say, hey, I'm here.
Can I come in?
I wouldn't look through the windows.
That's a stalking kind of thing.
I don't know if it's me having a bad memory
or me just not thinking through these things too much.
So I don't know the answer to that.
But I certainly wasn't one to figure out
what's the latest and greatest thing
that's happening in relationships in middle school
and let me see if I can blaze a trail.
I was more
just like okay i got a girlfriend i i gotta look into that and i and i will say you know i'm none
of the what we're talking about to uh you know this week is designed to be prescriptive in any
way it's just this is this is the story this is the story of what we did but i will say that i
look you know we've got kids now, right?
We've got kids who are going to be
going through some of these same things.
And I think about the nature
of these expectations
that we brought to these relationships
that we were in.
And I think we come from a different generation.
We come from a generation
where you did not typically discuss very much with your parents. Like, you know, we talk to our kids about
every little thing they're going through, and we encourage this open line of communication.
And I think that it's just kind of a generational thing that our parents were a little bit more
hands-off with us. And so as we were entering into things like a relationship with a girl,
at least maybe just was our personalities, the fact that we were boys, I didn't, you know,
I may have told my mom like a week later, oh yeah, I've got a girlfriend now. And she may
have asked me a question. I probably just kind of clammed up. But I do think that you made the
announcement, whereas I didn't. What were you going to say? Well say well i'm just i've thinking back on it it yes
it's provided some great stories but it was so ill-advised i mean i this whole thing to be like
i am a 14 year old boy in a committed you know exclusive relationship with a 14 year old girl
it was it was not it was not healthy and i'm not saying that i'm sure there's some of you out there exclusive relationship with a 14-year-old girl.
It was not healthy.
And I'm not saying that,
and I'm sure there's some of you out there who are 14 who are listening or whatever,
and I'm not saying that you're,
okay, you're too young to experience life
or you're stupid or anything like that.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying that it's not the time
for an exclusive relationship. It doesn't make any sense to have
an exclusive relationship with someone at that point in your life. Well, and for me, I never
talked to my mom. I was actually embarrassed to tell my mom that I had a girlfriend. Oh, I'm going
with Amber or I'm going with Anna. At a certain point it had to come out, but I don't know, for
some reason I just felt embarrassed to talk to my mom about having a girlfriend at all.
I remember I was at, when I was going with Amber, I was holding her hand on the bleachers at the baseball game.
Because I didn't play baseball.
I was the ladies' man that day.
But your mom was there watching you play baseball.
And she saw me holding hands with Amber.
And I remember just being flooded with embarrassment
that your mom saw me holding hands with a girl.
It just seemed like,
oh, you shouldn't be doing that,
or oh, I know something about you now,
because I didn't talk to my mom about it.
My mom probably discovered through some other means,
probably through your mom,
that I had a girlfriend.
Like, that's the extent that I wanted to discuss it.
Yeah, I don't know, just something about it,
like my school life and my whole life,
I wanted to be separate.
Like, I didn't want my mom to know that I was growing up
or I had no, I don't know psychologically
what was happening, but that's what it was.
Don't you wish you could go back and talk to yourself?
Yeah.
And I think that's what I apply to my kids is, you know,
the things that I don't want them to be as clueless as I was
because I was so to myself and guarded.
And I want my kids to be more comfortable talking about these things.
So, like, saying the word sex is something that is not like,
if my kids ever heard that word.
Because I talk to them about it at a younger age versus an older age
because it's just a fact of life,
and there is an appropriate way to discuss things with kids
once they start having questions,
that then you're not just dumping everything on them, or it seems like a faux pas when they get to be older or expecting them to
figure it out on their own sure um let's move to high school well there was a pivotal moment um i
recall this summer vividly now first of all we and i'd like to apologize to anna she's not listening
but we shouldn't have been behind her woodpile.
She's probably flattered that it happened, and all we saw was her folding clothes.
Flattered.
If that means creeped out, then yes.
You know, as we've established, we did our personality profiles recently, and my number one characteristic was futurist, right?
And part of that personality profile is someone who constantly anticipates and visualizes the future and obsesses about the future.
Oh, yeah.
That's one of the reasons I was always obsessed with girls because I would see a certain reality with a girl and then I would live it out.
It would literally be living that future in my mind.
And I remember.
You remember the river stuff?
Yes, right.
That's kind of what I'm getting to.
Yeah, we would go to the Cape Fear River
and swim like every day,
especially over the summer.
I mean, that water would be,
it would be like over 100 degrees outside maybe,
and that water would just be the best thing in the world.
I remember just like swimming around there,
and you would be talking about,
okay, next year when we're freshmen in high school,
there's a whole group of girls
from all these other towns
that come together at high school, there's a whole group of girls from all these other towns
that come together at high school.
It's just like we're funneling out of this one little pond
into this bigger lake of women.
And you knew their names.
I knew their names.
I don't know how I knew their names, but I was like-
You were like, Stephanie.
She's a cheerleader.
She's gonna be a freshman.
She's a cheerleader.
Melissa and Jamie and Tabitha.
Michelle.
Michelle.
Stephanie was from Anger.
Michelle was from Lillington.
Lillington.
And Melissa was from Anger.
It made no matter that these girls had boyfriends.
They were already going with other people.
That didn't stop you from having, initiating these conversations to get my hopes up.
Oh, yeah, man, I'm going to start going with Stephanie, and I'm going to hold her hand,
and, you know, I'm going to, I don't even, this, that, and the other.
And I'll be like, yeah, and I'll get me a cheerleader, too, and she'll be my girlfriend.
Her name will be Michelle.
Well, yeah, I had it all planned out.
I never talked to these girls.
No, no.
Just knew their names. Never even met them. Never even to these girls. No, no. Just knew their names.
Never even met them.
Never even met them.
They didn't even know what they looked like.
Well, we knew what they looked like because from when you'd play each other in basketball,
they'd be cheerleaders or whatnot.
Oh, God, well, that is true.
So we become freshmen at Harnett Central High School in Andrew, North Carolina.
And, boy, I just, I remember thinking about what I was going to wear,
which was absolutely ridiculous, what I did end up wearing, you know, like that first couple weeks of school.
You know, it was.
The Nike sweatshirt, you still had it?
Oh, no, you didn't wear a sweatshirt.
It was North Carolina in August, so you were hot all the time.
I remember I'd wear that.
I had a structure shirt.
That was a short sleeve polo that had four different quadrants.
Quadrants, that's the word.
I remember that.
Yeah, that shirt was sweet, man.
I remember-
The ladies.
I don't know what you wore.
I thought they loved it.
You were kind of into like the soccer thing.
You wore like umbros and soccer shoes,
which I always thought
that was the absolute dorkiest way
anyone could possibly dress.
And I guess I also thought I'm six foot,
I was six foot four and a half
in my freshman year in high school.
But that was a direct tie with what you were gonna wear
and getting the ladies.
I was wearing, I had a pair of white shorts.
A pair of white shorts and a braided belt
that was about a foot too long.
And you would run it around
and run it down one of your legs. You remember that remember that yeah and then i had a pair of dock siders
which were those leather shoes with the leather laces and you didn't wear any socks with them
and you had these tan legs from hanging out at the pool all summer i mean it was so so redneck
how did that go for you it worked incredibly well i remember you know the cool thing about
high school was not only did you have all all new girls in town or in school, but you had break time, which,
you know, after first period at homeroom or whatever, there was the break at nine o'clock.
You had like a 10 or 15 minute break where everyone would stand out there in this really
large commons area. And I just remember it took me a couple of days to figure out that Jamie Brown
and Tabitha norris were the two
most in demand girls in the entire school school they were sophomores sophomore was that's the
sweet spot when you're a girl and uh freshman everyone's like oh they're a little too young
sophomore year all the seniors want to date the sophomore girls right and uh at least that's the
way it was back then and i remember, these are the two girls that everybody wants.
I see them talking to each other right now.
I'm going to just start staring in that direction.
So this is kind of like the knee technique with Leslie,
except from a distance.
With the eyes.
Just with the eyes.
Yeah.
And at that point, I remember Stephanie Weberlo.
Remember her?
Yep.
And she was a friend of both of them.
She was the wing woman for the two of them.
And somehow I found out that she was friends
with her and I was like, well, I'm gonna talk
to Stephanie. I'm gonna get to know
Stephanie. I'm gonna get into this conversation with
her. I'm gonna hint that
I like Jamie.
And
maybe something will happen. Long story short.
Well, I think what happened before
anything with Jamie
around the same time was Tabitha,
I got word that Tabitha liked me.
I was like, what?
Right.
I mean, we're talking the top two in the whole school.
Whoa, what is happening?
I'm like, now I have to talk to her.
And it was like, I'm so good at making things awkward.
I think it's because I just instinctively
was just so awkward then that now I'm just like,
I just can't help myself now.
I think making things awkward now
is reliving my puberty years.
Are you constantly stuck in puberty?
Is that how to explain this?
Man, I remember.
So she liked me and I couldn't believe it.
I did not know how to conduct a five-minute in the comments conversation with her.
I just was not capable of doing it.
But I was there for you.
At the same time, in parallel, you had set your sights on Jamie.
Yeah.
My question is, did you technically stalk her?
No.
I mean, no, I didn't stalk her.
There was no internet.
You know, I never called her.
I just started talking to Weeberlo about it.
And I would say, I like her.
And then, you know, she goes over to her.
And then they talk a little bit.
And then she comes back over to me and she says, she likes you too.
And I'm like, okay.
I thought that's not what happened.
I thought she didn't like you.
I thought there was a recoil again.
And then you had to push harder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm condensing the story.
I mean, the first time that I started the conversation, there was probably no interest.
But I'm condensing that.
I'm persistent.
You had to touch her on the leg three times with your leg.
Yeah, with my red shoes.
So to speak.
So there was, you know,
there was a little bit of back and forth,
but within the second week of being at school,
I mean, we're talking two weeks into high school,
we were official.
I couldn't even drive.
I mean, I don't even have a car.
And that was your end,
because at that point, I was like, dude,'t even have a car. And that was your end because at that point,
I was like, dude, Tabitha likes you,
and she's Jamie's best friend.
This is like, we're like the power couples now.
I mean, we got to get in on this.
And I don't think you ever used the term power couple.
No, I'm just saying, I saw an opportunity there.
You're like, well, double date material in the least.
And then you can explain what happened on our first date.
Because the first date I ever had with Jamie
was the first date that you ever had with Tabitha.
Oh, it was?
Yeah, yeah.
It was like, let's go do something together.
And none of us can drive.
So that means let's go on a double date,
all crammed into the back seat of your dad's Dodge Dynasty while
he and your mom drive us to the Don movie theater.
Keep in mind, this is a four-passenger car, sedan, and there's six of us in there, and
all four of us are in the back seat.
Yeah.
And I was already six foot four.
That's a great way to get to know somebody.
I mean, you were just crammed up against them in the back seat there.
I had no idea what these girls were thinking.
I mean, we went by and picked them up individually at their houses.
You know, you came over to my house.
You probably rode your bike to my house.
And then we get in the back and we go pick up one of them and pick up the other one,
and then we go to Dunn.
And so it's a pretty—
Home Alone 2.
It's a pretty long trip from Dunn, from Lillington to Dunn.
And this is before they put the four lane road in. So it was just a
two lane road. And so you just, you know, you're just on this two lane road for a while. And,
you know, the conversation dwindled pretty quickly, but I remember the pivotal moment
where I decided to try to break the awkward silence by starting a new conversation. So we're
driving down the road,
and I could see that they were breaking ground
on the four lane.
And so I, you know, silent, silent, silence,
and then I'm just like,
sure will be nice when they make this road four lanes.
And then my dad just bust out laughing.
Because he totally recognized the humor in the situation
and what we were experiencing.
He was probably getting a kick out of it. In the same way that I'm
going to get a kick out of things, I do get a kick out of things
with my kids. Imagine how it smelled in that car
with all of that sweat and anxiety.
Teen angst. Yeah.
That was
my only date with Tabitha.
I'm pretty sure. And that
was entirely your fault,
because this is another, I just don't understand.
I could've kept it going, I just,
I felt like that was horrible.
But she, I just don't get it, man.
I know.
She was like such a prize, you know, at that time.
Well, that sounded sexist.
No, but I'm-
Not like a trophy.
But no, well, I'm speaking,
I'm assuming the perspective that I had at the time.
It was 1992.
I was a freshman in high school
and I was thinking about things
in a way that I wouldn't advise,
but that was the reality.
I was thinking, you could go out with this girl.
Not only is that awesome
because she's good looking, period.
That's all we cared about at that time.
Super shallow, super superficial. But also it was like, oh, and you get to say that you're going out
with this girl. And I never understood. And we didn't talk about it. It's funny. We talk about
this kind of stuff more now than we did then. Because I was just like, I went forward. I kept
pursuing Jamie. I was like, this is a thing now. Mom, you got to take me over to Jamie's house or I'm going to go over to Jamie's house for this and for that.
And we went out for a couple of months.
And then, meanwhile, Tabitha's just going.
She goes out with somebody else.
Yeah, you know, I lost out, man.
I don't know what to say.
Regret.
But I do remember after going out with Jamie for a couple of months, I was like,'t know what to say regret but i do remember after going out with jamie for a couple
months i was like you know what i mean i got like you know one of the best looking girls in the whole
school here right at the beginning of my freshman year i mean you know the sky's the limit i'm gonna
break up with her and see you see what else i can do oh no i got overconfident and uh i broke up with her and uh i'm sad to say i didn't date anyone into my junior
year after that you became a free agent meaning and then became unemployed it was like a guy who
declares early for the nba and then he's like oh i should have done that yeah yeah now you're
mopping floors somewhere right yeah yeah yeah so yeah. Yeah, I mean, I have a track record.
You know, in English class,
Selena Bullard asks me to the FLL dance.
She had just broken up with her boyfriend who looked strangely just like me.
Thad?
Thad.
Yeah, yeah, looked a lot like you.
So she breaks up with Thad
after they've been together for years,
and then she goes with me,
she asks me to the dance,
I think as a jab to Thad.
Right, I'm going to go with a guy who looks just like you.
Yeah.
Oh, and that's what happened with Jamie.
Right, so I break up with Jamie thinking I'm, you know, a free agent now.
And then you didn't have a date to the FLL dance.
Because we had planned on going together, and I was like, okay, I guess't have a date to the FLL dance. Because we had planned on going together,
and I was like, okay, I guess I'm not going to the FLL dance.
And so me and my mom go pick up Selena,
and then my mom drops me and Selena off at the FLL dance.
And then, I don't know how it happened,
but at some point, Jamie says she wants to dance with me.
So I dance with Jamie, and then another song,
she's like,
let's dance again.
And then all of a sudden,
it's three songs in a row,
four songs in a row,
Jamie is dancing with me,
and then Selena comes up,
and she's like,
I called my dad,
he's picking me up,
and I'm like,
I was so stupid,
and such a jerk.
And I heard through the grapevine, because I wasn't there. Then the fifth dance, Jamie'm like, I was so stupid. And such a jerk. And I heard through the grapevine,
because I wasn't there.
Then the fifth dance, Jamie's like,
she's got her head laying on my shoulder,
it's a slow dance.
Well I hear the next day,
so the next Monday people are like,
Link and Jamie were all over each other at the FLL dance.
So you go with one girl and then-
I did not kiss her.
You did not kiss her on the dance floor,
but what I heard through the grapevine
and then talked to you about later
was that Jamie starts dancing with you
and then by the end of it, yeah,
she's like basically dancing with you
like you would dance with a boyfriend
and girlfriend would dance, slow dance.
Lady in red.
Songs like that.
And your date leaves.
Yeah, and so I was the jerk,
but I think in retrospect,
she was using me to make her boyfriend that she got back together with,
Thad, jealous that night.
And then, in retro retrospect, Jamie was doing the same thing to you,
trying to make you jealous by loving all up on his best friend at the FLL dance.
But the thing that girls don't realize is that guys don't care about that.
I mean, I hear about that, and I'm like,
Link, that's awesome.
I was just thinking, this is awesome,
I don't know what's happening.
And I see you on Monday, and you tell me the story,
and I'm like, well, how was it, man?
There was no felt need for an apology from me.
Good for you, right.
I was happy for you.
No tension at all.
It's like, yeah, it was a little weird, man.
She was dancing, like, had her head on my shoulder.
It was,
you know, it was pretty cool. Pretty great.
And of course, you didn't do anything about it. Nope.
And that's
what I want to get, you know, okay.
And I want to translate this a little bit into
modern times, because
Mm-hmm.
My wife did not propose
to me, by the way. Right. Well, because, because yeah we're not going to talk about the
story of how we we met our wives what that was we were at a different time in our lives where it was
a much more mature process it's not oh yeah uh not that we won't ever talk about that but that
this is about sort of the adolescent relationships but i do want to make a parallel observation observation. And that is that, okay, in modern times, current Rhett and Link, let's say there's
like somebody doing something or like we have to make a video that involves going up to somebody
and doing something. I am much less likely to initiate in that situation. You are much more
likely to initiate in that situation. But when it came to these things like this girl,
I'm going to make her my girlfriend,
I was much more likely to initiate in that.
So it's not that you have a personality
that doesn't take initiative.
It's that in those situations,
you just didn't have a plan.
You had no plan.
Well, yeah, if there was an opportunity
to entertain a group of people,
like in the middle school cafeteria
or in video form or whatever the case may be,
I'm very clear on being able to step up to the plate
and do something that's going to entertain those people.
But when there's something personally at stake,
like a relationship with a girl it's this uh the anxiety level goes way up for me there when there's
personal implications uh for that type of thing well and the thing that frustrated me
is that you know after i i got high on my horse and then dumped Jamie. Then I started, you know, trying to initiate with other girls.
And I remember one year, sophomore year maybe, maybe junior year, you know, there was a girl named Julie Lape.
Remember her?
Yeah.
And she was new.
She was cute.
Cheerleader.
I took the initiative and I went for it.
And I don't know. Basically, you know, you never hear anything from the girl herself.
You hear it from her friend.
That's how they all communicate.
She's like, buzz off.
No, she's like, Julie likes Link.
Oh, really?
See, you don't even remember.
You don't even remember.
I love how you're getting angry about it.
No, I'm just saying.
You just.
I never had a relationship with Julie Lape.
I know.
That's my whole point.
That's where my frustration lies is that, oh, and then the situation with Jana.
Yeah, Jana was the same thing.
Well, you didn't like Jana, but Jana, you were a sophomore.
Right, yeah.
Sophomore year, Jana was.
Same time, though.
Same time in our lives.
Jana was a freshman cheerleader.
She said she liked me.
She broke up with her junior boyfriend at the time.
I didn't have a car, but my mom dropped me off at her house,
and we rode around on a four-wheeler.
We got pizza, and we were eating it on our bed,
and she wanted to kiss me,
and I clammed up man I
couldn't do it I could not give her a kiss and I was like well I've been eating pizza what am I
breast I was like pizza I've been riding a four-wheeler what if I smell like gas I don't know
it was like man I don't know I was just so I just clammed up I just shut down
I don't know. I was just so, I just clammed up.
I just shut down.
And you know what?
I should be thankful.
Who knows where I would be if I had gone,
if I had had gusto with the ladies.
And listen, I'm not-
I'm thankful.
And I think that, well, that's something I wanna say.
So I'm not frustrated.
But I just don't know what was going through your mind.
Because it was not, the thing, I want to make clear.
Anxiety.
It was not a conviction that you shouldn't be doing things.
You know, it wasn't like, well, I shouldn't be kissing girls or something like that.
It wasn't based in that.
That came a little bit later as we got older and developed some convictions about that kind of thing.
and develop some convictions about that kind of thing.
Like moving in for that first kiss is the most intimidating thing that I can ever imagine to this day.
Like bungee jumping or skydiving
or like wearing one of those bat suits
where you're like jumping off the side of a mountain and then you're flying.
Like the squirrel suit.
Squirrel suit, not a bat suit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's easy compared to a first kiss.
That's how much anxiety was associated with that.
And I don't know why.
But I think it served me well.
It protected me from lots of things perhaps and listen i and at
the same at the same time i don't know why you know i had this reckless abandon when it came to
starting relationships and i was it was very often not successful in fact most of the time wasn't
successful there was a lot of a lot of failures there was that really bright spot early freshman year, and then there was some low points.
But I didn't ever necessarily,
that didn't ever always translate into other areas, too.
Like I said, to this day, I do not enjoy, like, you know,
making people feel uncomfortable, or it's like we have to do a prank,
or I don't like talking to strangers.
You know, I still,
I have anxiety about those things.
But when it was talking to a girl,
it was always just like,
I had anxiety,
but there was just this overwhelming,
like, no, this is your mission.
This is what you're gonna do.
In retrospect,
I could have been applying that to other things.
Hmm.
You know?
But the thing that always intrigues me about you
is I'm just like,
well, what were you thinking about back in those days?
Because were you thinking about your rock tumbler
and stuff like that?
Because you always had like a thing,
like a, you know, go over to your house.
Yeah.
You know, I was thinking about basketball and girls.
I was thinking,
I did think a lot about a rock tumbler.
You had this rock tumbler that was always going.
Like I found it in the catalog and then then I circled it, and then I obsessed about it.
And then I got up the money, and I bought it, and it arrived.
Then it was in the laundry room because it made a lot of constant noise.
I remember all the noise it made.
And you had to wait.
It was an investment involved.
And then the rocks come out, and they're smooth.
I never made jewelry.
I just kept the
smooth rocks because that's the line I didn't want to cross I was a rock tumbler not a jewelry maker
is that the next step in rock tumbling you put jewels on them yeah they wanted you to do that
they would give you mounts and all that type of stuff make rings and necklaces and stuff
uh really it wasn't pink though the rock tumbler. It was red and chrome. It was red, I remember. But, I mean, I gained confidence to approach women in college.
That's when things shifted for me.
It wasn't really ever in high school.
I mean, the last, you know, my next serious relationship in high school was with Missy.
And that was, I said that like, Missy,
like she's an evil person or something, which she's not. But that was like, I guess I was kind
of overcoming like a lack of confidence at that point when that was like senior year in high
school kind of a thing. That really didn't totally go away until college after
Missy and I broke up and then I was meeting other girls
college girls and then it was
hey I'm a more of a functional
human being who can have a
conversation with people. You're an adult essentially. Yeah.
You're an adult. Well. You're becoming an adult.
Closer to it.
You know but it took me a long time
it's not that you were acting like an adult
That wasn't what I was implying. No.. It's not that you were acting like an adult.
That wasn't what I was implying.
No, and I'm not saying you were.
I'm just saying,
I guess one thing I am saying is that I feel like that's a time,
you know, possibly college is a good time
maybe to have a girlfriend.
But no one's going to listen.
I mean, if you're out there and you're in middle school
or you're in high school and you're like,
I'm determined to have a girlfriend,
you're probably just going to do it anyway
and you're going to be like, you guys are just dads.
Let's not make it about them.
I think the more interesting thing is,
would I want my kids to listen to this conversation we had?
Because, you know, I don't want to, you know,
I talk to my kids in a certain way
that I don't like to, hey kids, let's sit down on the couch so I can tell you story
time about my first kiss and all these types of things. So that's my question to you is,
would you want, uh, Locke as a 10 year old to listen to this conversation that we just
had? How do we tackle that one?
Well, he's probably not going to, A.
They don't listen to Ear Biscuits.
No, they don't.
It's not intended for them.
So I guess...
So right, yeah, that is correct.
Right off the bat...
The general answer is no.
I mean, if I'm going to discuss...
And I have discussed.
I mean, he's interested in girls.
We talk about it.
I see some similarities.
I see myself, and Jessie sees herself, of course,
because we're both his parents,
in our kids, in Locke, who's older.
And, you know, I try to be very calculated in the way that I talk about things.
And we definitely, I mean, even, I mean, he's 10 years old,
and he's got friends who have girlfriends.
You know, and so there's this, even at that age, there's this pressure.
It's like, oh, at some point it's going to be expected that he have a girlfriend, whatever that means at that age.
And so I talk about that and I say, you know, if I could go back, you know, and tell myself something,
it would be don't have some serious exclusive emotional, you know, or physical relationship with someone at that stage of your life or high school even.
Because so many things are changing.
So many things are so fragile.
You're becoming someone so quickly.
so quickly. The other person is becoming something so quickly that even though it may be very difficult to have self-control in those situations, that it's worth it. And that's what I tell him.
Yeah. And I think for Lily, who is 11 now, it's me having conversations and first of all just having a conversation is is a big win just
being able to say who do you have a crush on i know you have a crush on somebody you can tell me
and you know it's and then she's like well no i don't and then one one time we had the
conversation was like actually i do actually i have two crushes or three or whatever the case was at the time. And she kind of broke the seal on having this conversation with me, her dad,
and saying, yeah, I have a crush on so-and-so. And it was, oh, I saw how my dad reacted. And
he wasn't scared or it wasn't weird or no one was embarrassed or it wasn't awkward. It's just,
hey, it's normal. We're having a conversation.
You having these feelings is normal.
And us talking about it, it's just part of life.
It's not this faux pas.
Oh, we speak not of these things
because they're weird and you shouldn't do that.
No, so that's the first thing.
But then encouraging my kids
to just to not dive into something
just because people are,
their friends are doing it, you know?
Just kind of pacing themselves.
Hey, you don't know who you are.
You shouldn't be connecting yourself
with somebody else
who also doesn't know who they are.
And again, like I said,
it's just something that's,
it's so hard to hear that.
I mean, you could have told me that at that age.
I would have not.
Because you don't feel that way.
You don't feel like you're becoming who you are.
You feel like you are who you are when you're growing up.
Yeah.
You know, it isn't until you grow up and you look back
and you're like, man, I was just figuring so many things out and i just did not know i just
didn't know about life even when i even when i did know about it i mean and you even realize that now
i'm just like man i even even at 36 you know i'm like man when i was 30 yeah what was i thinking
you know you and i think that's hopefully that's a good thing hopefully you
always uh continue thinking that as time passes but I I want to close with one story uh which is
not to undo everything we just said again do don't do as we did don't even do as we did. Don't even do as we said or say. Just do it.
Don't do.
Do the right thing.
When you were dating Amber,
I mean, when you were dating Anna and I was dating Amber,
I do remember at some point being somewhere,
somebody's house,
and there was some kissing going on.
There was always a room where there was some kissing going on.
Making out, perhaps? You could call it. It was some kissing going on. There was always a room where there was some kissing going on. Making out, perhaps?
You could call it.
It was extended kissing sessions.
And, you know, you turn your head to kiss a girl such that.
Yeah, I learned that in the shower.
And, yeah, the nozzle doesn't turn with you.
That's a problem.
They just keep spraying water right into your mouth.
It was the wall.
The wall just stays there.
But a girl will usually turn her head the other way.
I kissed the bedpost once too.
Yeah, it remains stationary.
It's like kissing a girl with a neck brace.
Your mom walks in, you're kissing a bedpost.
That's weird.
That's why you kiss the shower
because you're not going to pull the curtain back.
Right, hopefully.
So I remember kissing Amber
and I do the head turn
and now I've got a clear,
I'm closing my eyes,
but just for some reason I open my eyes
and I'm like,
who else is kissing in this room, you know?
And I look over and I see you kissing Anna
and you have done the same thing.
You have turned your head
and now we are making eye contact
while kissing these girls.
And there was a bit of a...
But you're not telling anybody about this.
No, no.
At first, there was a bit of a,
I should avert my, you know,
we shouldn't be making eye contact.
This is unnatural.
We shouldn't be doing this.
But then there was a second thought that was like,
you know, this is pretty cool.
There's my best friend over there.
You know, he's kissing a girl.
I'm kissing a girl.
We just made eye contact. You know, I would kissing a girl, I'm kissing a girl. We just made eye contact.
You know,
I would give him
a head nod
or something,
but.
It would only get creepier.
Yeah.
No,
it wasn't a creepy thing.
I don't.
It was just a moment.
I don't exactly
remember this moment.
I do.
But I can imagine
that it was more about
sizing up the competition
almost.
Like,
okay, you know, we gotta to be tit for tat here.
You know, no pun intended.
If you are, you know, if you're making progress,
I got to, you know, I got to make some progress too kind of a thing.
And Zach West is over there, you know, kissing somebody.
He's always in the room kissing somebody.
It's like a NASCAR race.
Yeah, there could be an announcer lots of engines revving um
i don't know any analogy is dangerous i guess i should just shut up i've confessed way too much
but yeah i i'm not gonna say that i was happy that i actually your eyes met mine while i was
uh kissing my girlfriend i'm just saying it was it was just saying it was a moment in our friendship, and I appreciated it. Well, this has ended on an awkward note,
but we can plug a sponsor.
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I think this was very conversational.
You may have felt like you were just kind of sitting in
on a conversation between the two of us.
And we want to do this again.
We're hoping that monthly we can have this
Rhett and Link only episode,
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