Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Have We Ever Been to a Strip Club? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 437

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Remember, remember… that it’s Sextember! In this episode, Rhett & Link are answering questions, ranging from what wacky missionary actually is, how to incorporate some dirty talk from fantasy novels, as well as if we’ve ever been to a strip club. Find millions of new and used cars on https://autotrader.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Looking for a collaborator for your career? A strong ally to support your next level success? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. This episode is sponsored by Auto Trader.

See a car and a movie you just watched. This episode is sponsored by Auto Trader. See a car and a movie you just watched? You can find it on Auto Trader. Shop millions of new and used cars on Auto Trader. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link.

This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're getting sexy again. It's sex timber. And listen, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're listening because this is sex timber, this episode. I mean, I'm just saying, I'm just gonna let you know it's not an all month just saying. We're not doing it all month long. I'll let you know it's not an all month long thing.

We're gonna talk about sex today. Mm-hmm. All about sex today based on the questions that we got from y'all. There was a point in our podcast relationship where we had a lot of sex timber. And then over the years, we've had less and less sex timber. We've squeezed ourselves so hard.

Do we have less drive to do sex timber? Is it that we're no longer aligned? No, I just think we want it to be special. Our libido of sex timber has decreased? I think we've had so much sex talk that we wanted to be special and we realized that we were kind of getting some of the same questions that we've gotten before

and revisiting some, there's only two guys who've lived two lives who've only had so much sex. Plus I'm tired. You know, I'm, I kinda, my head- Today or in life? My head hurts a little bit. I've already washed my face. I'm already in my pajamas.

You didn't wash your face? So I'm kinda already under the covers. Oh God, Link, don't be such a downer, man. I'm joking, I'm trying to make an analogy for not having sex timber. I like to wash my face before. Being long before. Before you have sex?

And after. Ha ha ha ha. Okay. So anyways... I like to wash my face before I go to sleep. If... yeah, yeah I do. That's what I was getting at. And I like to put on my pajamas. Fair warning. We usually don't...

We never remember when we need to give a warning. But you know, yeah. We're gonna talk about sex, so. That's something that you don't wanna hear us do. If you're not confident. First of all, I completely understand. This is gonna be, this could get explicit, specific, and erotic.

So, just click away if you don't wanna listen to this, or if you wanna put on headphones. Make sure they don't leak You know Like a condom make sure that your condom doesn't leak see now. We're already into it Uh-huh, but don't take a condom and fill it with water. I had a guy. Oh tell me that to test it. You know I do that because need to fill it with water Before you use it and while you're using it. Because then I think it messes up

like how easily you can get it on. Oh, right. Just get one that doesn't have any holes in it. Well, get one from a reputable. Get your condoms from a reputable manufacturer. Right. In a reputable place. Don't pick one up off the asphalt.

Right, especially, yeah. Make sure it's packaged, first of all. Yeah, right. Maybe hold it up to a light. Hold your condoms up to a light. Don't blow it up like a balloon either, probably. But I'd blow it up like a balloon before I'd put water in it. You would?

But I don't do either one of those. You're so crazy. I don't. Look at him. I don't use condoms because all my sex is safe sex. Yep. Well, no, it's not. Just because, what? It doesn't prevent disease. You have unprotected sex.

Having sex with my, just my wife presents. Monogamous, monogamous. You have monogamous unprotected sex. Right, but I'm, I'm, I'm neutered. That's what I have. I'm neutered. I'm snoo-dered. I'm snoo-dered. I'm not spayed. But I'm snoo-dered. I'm neutered.

Hey baby, wanna get snoo-dered tonight? Snookered and neutered. Let's start with a tweet. Snockered. From your meemaw. Read it in a, your me Mee Maw. Read it in a, Your Mee Maw? Yeah. Read it in a sexy Mee Maw voice. Can you explain wacky missionary?

Can you please explain wacky missionary? Well, first of all, let me explain why we even talk about wacky missionary. I don't talk about it. Trevor. You know, this is all Trevor's fault. Trevor, part of not just the mythical world, but the Smosh world as well now.

He's spreading himself so thin. He's spreading his legs for Smosh. Trevor. Spreading his butt cheeks for mythical. Hey, hey, what are you? Listen, we can say anything we want about mythical. Hey, hey, what are you... Ha ha ha. Listen, we can say anything we want about Trevor. No we can't. He said that you like wacky missionaries.

What, and I took that as a compliment? So Trevor started a rumor that I only have missionary sex. And I said, listen, I was a missionary. And you did have sex. And I did have sex. And I do like the missionary position. Oh, it's not my favorite, but I do like it. It's not a great name. It's a great position.

It doesn't have a great name. It's a... Well, that's where the wacky come from. Yeah, so what is that? Well, to be honest with you, I'm not sure. Because he said that as well, Wacky Missionary? I mean, Wacky Missionary could mean different things to different people.

I think that one thing that could be going on during Wacky Missionary is the music that you're listening to could be- Praise music. Not praise music. I never had sex to praise music. Never done that either. K-Love.

But if you're listening to- What about positive encouraging music? If you're listening to some real, real, if you're an actual missionary, but then the music you listen to is just really dirty. Something you would be ashamed to tell- But that's not wacky. I'm just saying, I'm giving possible definitions to explore.

That would be, so the music, another one would be talking, talking really dirty while doing missionary could make it a little wacky. Only if you are a missionary. I think a wacky missionary, if they were listening to music, it's like Zydeco or something, you know? It's just strange. I guess what I'm saying is that missionary has a reputation for being a boring sex position.

And I'm saying maybe there are things you can do to make it less boring. So I'm using wacky, not in a literal sense. I'm using it in the sense of making it more interesting. And this is where you get into the idea of maybe one leg goes up. Okay. Do you know what I'm saying?

At that point- Like half a field goal position? At that point- I think that's a different position. I think that's a different position. I think that's the jackknife. Oh, yes. I don't know, I don't know. What about with a clown nose?

Missionary with a clown nose. Bit wacky, you know? That's what you've been doing. Clown nose, missionary with a clown nose, bit wacky. You know? That's what you've been doing. You've been doing this stuff. Well, what about you, man? You were a missionary. Yeah, but I never did wacky.

You just did straight missionary and that was it? Yeah, yep. Okay. I just think it needs to be called something else, I call it like default position. That's sexy. Is that better than, is that better than missionary position? No.

Default position. No. No. I mean, your face off position. Facing, like, face to face. Here's looking at you, kid, position. I mean, there's a lot to like about it.

Maybe not kid, here's looking at you, position. There's a lot to like about it. Being able to look at each other is one of the things. Right. I'm standing in defense of this, of Missionary. Not standing though, because that would be a different position.

Right. Snoop Dogg's new album that is supposed to come out, like Dr. Dre produced this album for Snoop Dogg, and it's called Missionary. His first album was called Doggy Style. You get it? You get it? Hopefully it will come out, the album.

If you were to create a pie chart of what percentage of different positions that you employ, how big of a pie piece- I'm glad you asked because I've already done it. Would missionary fill? And it's straight missionary. No legs lifted, not one, not two.

What is that called? No legs lifted. So like knees up, not missionary anymore? Do we have a, can we grab some dolls? I'm talking about knees to ears. I'm talking about calves. What is that called? Knees to ears, I'm talking about knees to ears. I'm talking about calves. What is that called? Knees to ears, I'm talking about like feet are up here.

Feet to ears? I'm very tall, my life's very short, so let me just put a thing into perspective. I'm saying that like calves, calves on ears. Good God. That's not missionary. That's foldy. Foldy position. I'm not, that's, I'm, and it's a great, it's great. It's great.

Um. Yeah. I think straight missionary, I'm gonna just say, well I'll let you answer cause I asked you first. Well if we're, if we're getting down to the specific, if anything's up by the ears and that's not missionary, then that's gonna bring my number down. I like to involve the ears. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. That's when it gets real hot, you know? When you get the ears involved, you know? What are other ways that the ears are involved? This body part's never met the ears. Look at that. Ha ha. Do you just get it to hold your ears sometimes?

Well, yeah. So I would say it's maybe, I don't know, you know I'm not good with numbers. 25%. 30%. Yeah, I would say, I was gonna say 15 to 20. Okay. Okay. 15 to 20. I didn't mean to whisper, but I did, okay. Okay. So I guess the question, the answer, your meemaw is, no, we actually can't really explain Wacky Missionary.

Wacky Missionary is what you make it, but I'm just saying that Missionary gets a bad rap, but we're still saying we only do it a minority of the time. Get some more ear touching into it. Let's listen to this first voicemail that we got. Hey, Rhett. Hey, Link. Big fan.

Well, I say fans like multiple. It's just me. Anyway, my wife has recently gotten into fantasy novels. How do I adapt my sexual lifestyle to fulfill her

needs? I unfortunately do not have a pair of wings attached to my back, nor do I have the ability to fly. However, I'm trying to make the toes curl, so anything would be helpful. Love the content, keep it up. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. When he says fantasy novels, what is he... Well, me and Jen are about to educate you. All you gotta do is sit back and take it in, okay?

I love that you and I both made eye contact and we're like, oh! So my wife is into romance novels in general, right? Okay, yeah, I know what that is. She reads a lot of them, okay? But the thing that she has not yet ventured into because she's not really like, she's never been into the fantasy genre of literature

is the combination of those things, which Jenna can explain what that is. Cause I know that she's into it. I feel like I've talked about this with you before. Yeah, I was ringing a little bit of a bell. Yeah, the Bat Boys. We talk about the Bat Boys, who are the bad boys, and the guys with wings.

Bat Boys? Bat Boys. Is this a certain book series? No, it's a genre of smut, I would say. Call it what it is, yeah. I mean, no shame it's a genre of smut, I would say. Um, call it what it is, yeah. No shame to talk about it. It's a mix between a man and a bat, but not a batman. It could be anything. It depends.

Think about fantasy novels. Yeah, it's a fantasy novel. Where there are people who are half goat, half person. There are wizards, there are people who can fly. But it has sex scenes. In some series, they're like referred to as Illyrians. It's like just a Species of humanoids who have wings, but then they also there's sex scenes in the books. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Okay, so we're talking Lord of the cock rings Yeah, I suppose. Maybe that just sounds like dumb porn. Akatar is one of the most famous. What happens in Akatar? With like there's Bat Boys and stuff, but Shadow Daddies.

I've told you about Shadow Daddies as well. Oh yeah. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, same kind of thing. Where like there's wielders of shadows. Do they use the term shadow daddy in the thing, or is that just what the fans think? Nah, that's the fans, yeah, yeah.

They're like basically shadow wielders, they have control of the shadows and darkness. Okay, and what kind of love do they make? Sometimes those overlap, sometimes Bat Boys are also shadow daddies, which is layers. But what kind of, how does a Bat Boy make love, and how does a Shadow Daddy make love? Basically the same.

Shadow Daddies though, cause they have like kind of control of shadows and things. They can also kind of have phantom hands in a way. Oh my God. Which is another level. Their wings are quite sensitive, so that is an erogenous zone for them as well. Well, that feels like a pretty alabrity there.

So they really get pleasure from flying. Just from the wind blowing across their wings? You catch a good breeze and then the next thing you know. Probably, yeah, a solid breeze will do some good for anybody. I don't like that. It'll do some good for anybody. I don't like that. He needs to read those books. The husband in the voicemail should look into the books. This is the question, this is the question. That's your advice.

Read the books. I got more advice. Before we get him to read The Chronicles of Labia, we need to talk about this in general, okay? And that is, I'm faced with a similar predicament and it doesn't have to do with the fantasy thing, it's just to do with the romance novel thing. And Jessie's like, she reads so many of them and she'll be like, why don't you read one of these?

And I say to myself, because I don't think I would enjoy it. Oh, there's a good solution to this, yes, yes. It's not hard to type in the specific book and just a search for the popular chapter page of like the lines that are said. Really you just need to know some of the lines that are said that some of these daddies say.

So you can say it? Yeah, yeah. Some of the moves that they use. Like you can, there's certainly plenty of chat on the internet of people talking about their favorite scenes and their favorite parts and like the favorite lines that characters use. I want you to regale us with one of these. Regale?

Look that up, look that up and we'll get back to you once you got it. Alright, okay. Because I'd like a specific example of smut bat daddy. Okay, so you want specifically the wings, the man with wings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you think's most compelling. Whatever, whatever would-

What everything's gonna convince us. Okay, all right. The most. Because what Jenna is saying to do is what I did when I was 15 years old and I was still, my nana's romance novels and just thumb through them until I found a word that I thought was a euphemism for wiener, and then I was off to the jackpot.

Yeah. It's ridiculous. I don't think it's ridiculous. Did Jessie specifically, like, sincerely ask you to read one? So I think it has to do with the fact that she reads so many of them and we watch romantic comedies together. Yeah.

Frequently. That's kind of a thing that we do. She doesn't like to watch dark movies where everyone dies and everyone's scared like I do. You participate, you're a willing participant because she likes it and it's- And I like rom-coms. There's a gimmick to it.

I like rom-coms. And there's something about the simplicity- But you're watching it together. Of the premise. Different than reading a romance novel by yourself. And so I just think she's thinking, well, I'm enjoying this thing. And I do think there is a, well, maybe you can get some ideas from this too.

When you're reading these romance novels and in some ways you're being exposed to all these different perspectives and all these different stories that are not just, there's the circumstance of the love story and then there's the sexual component. Sure, sure. And so I'm just like,

hey, listen, I'll watch your romantic comedies. And I can enjoy that, but I don't know. Like I'm literally, right now I'm literally still reading that book about the scientists who researched the chamber divers thing I talked about. I'm almost done with that. Oh, that's so odd. It's a book about military science,

specifically underwater research. It is not sexy at all. There's no sex in it? There's a lot of high pressure situations, like literal high pressure where people are in chambers. Yeah, but no- There's a lot of high pressure situations, like literal high pressure, where people are in chambers. Yeah, but no... There's seizures, there's vomiting, there's bleeding from the ears. Okay, ears? There's a lot of death, actually.

So there's bodily fluids, there's pain. But no one has ejaculated thus far in the book. And if they did, it would be recorded in a scientific journal. You'll know it because those pages will be stuck together. Right? Yeah, I know what you mean. Just holler when you got it, Jenna, but we're gonna move to the next one.

We'll come back to it whenever you're ready. And before we move to the next one, I would like to draw attention to the shirt that I'm wearing. Yes, this is this year's Golden Tee of Mythicality. We're doing it again this year. It's beautiful. You know how this works, okay? It's a UFO. What is it doing? Look at what it's doing. So you have until...

It's sending down a beam, like a tractor beam that says mythical. You have until the end of this week. You know the exact date on that. You said it before you started. September 13th. Oh, here we go. Now through September 13th. So this is how it works.

You go to mythical.com, you buy the golden tea of mythicality. That's how you essentially enter for your chance to win. Now this is Mythical Beasts in the US, also open in Mythical Beasts in UK, Canada and Mexico. Listen, we would love, we would love to be able to open it up to everybody in the entire world, but there are these laws that we have to follow

here in the United States when we do something like this. And in order to follow those laws, we have to do it like this. So until those laws change, it's gonna be limited to those countries. Now, most of you are going to get the one that I'm wearing right now, okay? You're gonna get this silver one.

But one person, one lucky person's gonna get a blue tee. They're gonna win $1,000 at the Mythical Shopping, Mythical Shopping Spree at mythical.com. The orange tee winner and a guest are gonna receive an all-expense paid trip to see one of our upcoming Good Mythical Tour dates in November in Texas, and that will include a VIP meet and greet with us.

And then finally, the golden tea winner will receive a $40,000 cash prize. $40,000, go to mythical.com to enter the 2024 Golden Tia Mythicality Giveaway for a chance to win one of these three incredible prizes. No purchase necessary, void prohibited. I remember the early days of my life after I graduated college and I was suddenly responsible for myself.

A so-called adult? I had to figure things out. I had to make a way for myself. Yeah, from your first place to your first job. As a young adult, there's a lot of firsts you gotta figure out, and taking control of your finances early can make a big impact on your future. With a Chime Checking account, you can save more money and take control of your finances with features like no maintenance fees or getting paid up to two days early with a qualifying direct deposit. And when you set up that direct deposit, you can overdraft up to $200 without fees

if you sign up for SpotMe. There's also access to 50,000 plus fee-free ATMs. That's more than the top three national banks combined. Get a head start on working towards your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in two minutes at chime.com slash ear. That's chime.com slash ear. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Strive Bank NA members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements

and overdraft limit supply. Boosts are available to eligible CHIME members enrolled in Spot Me and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. You know there's so many really good streaming television shows that aren't in English, Rhett. And you can turn

on the subtitles or you can learn the language. Oh, okay. Like Lando is doing. Mm-hmm. He is? Yep. Yep. To watch his anime. Well, if you would like that, in comes Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app that truly immerses you in the language you want to learn.

They've used trusted experts for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages offered, some of which include Spanish, French, German, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, and Arabic. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. The lessons help you pick up a language naturally, first with words, then phrases, then sentences. And it's designed for long-term retention. Plus, their built-in true accent feature gives you feedback on your pronunciation

so you end up sounding like a pro. A lifetime membership has all 25 languages for all language needs in your life. That's lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. That's a steal. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started.

You can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com slash ear. That's 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash ear today. All right. redeem your 50% off at RosettaStone.com slash ear today. All right. Let's go on to the next tweet.

This is from Warbird. Glasses on or off during sex. Do they get in the way for anything if left on? This is an intriguing question that you should be able to answer. Yeah, cause I wear glasses. But you answer it first. You ever put on glasses that you don't need

just to make love? Only when I'm role playing as a professor. Yeah, I wish I could say I did some role playing, but I don't. Maybe I'll do it. I gotta sharpen my performance skills. No, really? Yeah, come on. I gotta work up a character sketch.

Now, do you have like a Kurt Rambas set of goggles, like a Horace Grant? Like, I put on my sports goggles. Yeah. So that they don't come off my face. Well, do you take your glasses off? Well, first of all, look. I got my glasses right now.

Look at that. Oh, God. Please don't do that. You're not going anywhere. Look, I'm getting wacky. Blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl And coming down. See, this is how to push him up. This is how to push him up. What would that be? My own wiener. Mm-hmm. Yep. So you leave him on. I... depends. If I want to bury my face in a pillow...

or any pillow-like place, then I will take the glasses off. But I usually put them to the side where I can reach them. I like to... Just in case? Well, I can put them back on. I mean, I'm not blind as a bat boy. Right, Jenna? Are they blind?

Do they echolocate? Where is it? Where's the cave? That's what a Batboy is. Sitting there, sitting in a sauna or out so they know where to dive bomb. Kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki kiki That's what they do. I like to keep my glasses on, because I like the high fidelity experience. And I also think that I look more like me when I have my glasses on. Wow. So you have actually thought about this? Yeah. Like you think yourself... I do it so I can see better, but also so I can be seen as me better. It's like, I

mean, it's a little distracting. Like even if we're just doing the podcast right now. That's how your mom, your mom, that's how your mom always knew you. That's how Christy knew you until you started wearing glasses. I mean, I guess you've been wearing glasses with her most of the marriage. When I'm not wearing glasses, doesn't it look like I'm a little off kilter?

Yeah, but if I lived with you. And I look a lot more like my dad. Yeah, but you're in, so. You don't sleep with your glasses on. Nope. And you're in bed, and if you're, I don't know, if you're like me, most of the time that you're having sex, it's in the context of the bed.

Yeah. So it's in the context usually before I go to bed. And so if there were things that I did- I'll say for me, I'm never going to sleep and then roll over, have coitus, and then roll back over and go to sleep. There's more prep and there's more post. So I like to be put together a little bit.

Interesting. But there are occasions when you take it off, when you take them off. Yeah, at certain points when I've already told you, when I need to smush my face, I don't like to smush my glasses against my face. So I just, I take them off. I don't know, there's just something about picturing you completely naked

with just glasses on that kinda disturbs me, honestly. It's better, trust me. It's better that way. It's better. I mean, do you know... I guess I don't know how... Am I not naked if I have on glasses? Not technically. I guess I don't know how bad your vision is. Because I understand the wanting to see everything the way you want to see it. I can still see, but I can't read. Hold on, what are you reading?

The instructions, man! Ha ha ha! I don't need my glasses. I would say it's 50-50. Okay, 50-50. But the most interesting part of your answer is the fact that you keep your glasses on so you will be perceived more as yourself, which is... Yeah. I gotta wrap my mind around that. I don't like to look at... If I was gonna make love to myself, I'd prefer to wear

glasses. Wow, so you picture yourself now as someone with glasses. You think that you're less of yourself without the glasses. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I definitely. I mean, look, who is this guy? I think of myself as less of myself without my beard. For sure.

But glasses, interesting. I don't know. I don't know how to take that. I'm just taking it in. I don't wear glasses while having sex. Good question. That was a good question. And here's the thing.

I'll give a full update on this when the time is right. But I did go to the eye doctor and- Well, don't give an update before you- No. What time is sex? 2020. Oh, 2020. Okay, no need for glasses. Still 2020.

So the whole like complicated, what happens when I need glasses? Yeah. We don't have to worry about it for a while. Let's see here. We have another excretion from Anu Sanu. How long did it take until you felt that you were good at sex?

I think I really didn't get good at sex until we moved to California. Wow. How long have we lived here? 14, took me 10 years. Well, that's not something to brag about, is it? So what was it about- Took me 10 years to get good at sex.

What was it about crossing the Rockies, so to speak? I just feel like things really got in sync. I think, you know, it's a partnership thing, being totally, I don't know, I feel like we had the best, I feel like we've had, I mean, the best love making has been definitely in this phase of my life. Oh yeah. So there you go, that's the reason.

The best experiences. Like to the point where like, man, this is the, I think that might be a top five experience. Like whenever we would have that conversation afterward. I mean, we're not topping ourselves week after week, but it's definitely been more, I mean, we've said it. We've started to say that more over the past 14 years. And I think there's a certain level of-

You oughta try it with your glasses off. A certain level of openness, adventure, trust... Trying things, discovering things. Like being at a certain place in your relationship where you can discover things that work. And then, you know, your bodies are changing, I think, so there's like something about, there's some sort of alignment. It might be lunar, it may be other, otherwise, but like.

Not literal. Some sort of, yeah, some sort of figurative. Finally figured out how to line it up. Align, right. Just right, give me 10 years. In a sense though, yes. I'll leave it at that. I heartily agree.

One of the cool aspects. How long did it take you to get good at sex? Well, that's kind of what I'm commenting on is the fact that good is a relative term. And the, you know, I'm just saying my sexual history and Jessie's sexual history are what they are because of who we were and who we are.

And so the circumstances that led to us both being virgins and having sex for the first time on our wedding night, and what is like the most traditional conservative approach that you can possibly imagine, which is not what I would prescribe, it's just what happened with us. It created this environment where good at sex

was only a way of measuring us against ourselves. Well, you didn't have any other experience to compare it to. Right, so. And you also, you weren't round robbing this thing to like, we weren't opening ourselves up to sexual partners and learning a bunch of stuff. Everything we learned was in the context

of us being motivated, and having the energy and the camaraderie to make progress. And again, I'm trying to be extremely clear in communicating that I am not saying this is the ideal, this is what you should do. There are some situations where two very sexually experienced people come together and have a relationship and have an incredible sex life.

There are people who are very sexually experienced who come together and have a horrible sex life. There are times where there's one person who's very sexually experienced and one person who isn't at all. And it can be beautiful. Sometimes it can be a challenge to be overcome. What you bring to your relationships is what you bring to your relationships.

It's what you do with that. And for us, it created this opportunity for us to learn together and to get better together. for us to learn together and to get better together. And so it's always been a good experience, but now I can, you know, the 23 year married Rhett and Jessie can look back on the just got married and went to the embassy suites in Raleigh, Rhett and Jessie, and be like,

they had no idea what they were doing. No idea. And I will say, as is not uncommon in that situation, I always got what I was hoping for. She did not necessarily always get what she was hoping for, she did not necessarily always get what she was hoping for because she was still figuring that out and I was still figuring that out.

Yeah. And now it's obviously a very different equation. So it's cool to look back at the different progress that we've made. So I wouldn't say that there was a definitive shift that happened at any particular time. It's just been a slow growth and it has gotten better and better.

And I'm very grateful. I'm glad to hear that. But if this was like the sex Olympics and all of a sudden we had to compete against other couples, I gotta be honest with you. I don't have any idea where we would stack up. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't think we're signing up for that.

We're not. We're not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have a sponsor yet. Is that a thing, Sex Olympics? Of course I'm looking at you, Jamie. I feel like it is, but. It's gotta be. Jamie used to produce a sex podcast, so.

Um. It's, well, technically it is a game that someone created. Okay, it's just porn then. Yeah. Okay. It's an erotic point and click adventure. Oh. I don't want point and click. I've actually with one of my first boyfriends,

we did play a game like that and he was so into it and I was just cracking up. I was like, I cannot take this seriously at all. Like you actually have to click on stuff to stroke it and do different things. And he was like super, I turned around and he was hard as a rock, and I was just laughing. And I was laughing so hard.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah. Point and click. Point and click. I don't understand the mechanics of what Jamie's trying to tell us. Well, you know what a mouse is. Yeah, I know, like you had to like, you were given sexual act assignments.

Yes, there is like different characters that you would have to try to have sex with throughout your adventure on this thing. And then you literally like, and it's very graphic, and you literally point and click like. You like point and click real fast. Yeah. Oh. Or like, and like you literally take it

and you have to like go up and down to simulate, you know. Okay. All that stuff. Yeah, there was all these different things that you had to do. And like, if you weren't doing it well, like the people, the characters would like get mad at you. They'd get uninterested. They would get uninterested,

and then you would like have to try again. Oh. Yeah. Okay. It was interesting, yeah, it was, you know. But just because you were cracking up, doesn't mean you couldn't have been into it. No, but it was just funny to see these stark differences. Yeah, right, he was like so into it.

Yeah, and I was just like, I thought, like, it was fine. It was just funny, see these stark differences. Yeah, right, he was like so into it. Yeah, and I was just like, I thought, like it was fine, it was just funny. Like I was like, this is not really doing anything extra. I'm already good to go, but if you wanted to like, Yeah. Play it up, sure. Yeah, we don't need this two dimensional point and click. We don't need the points or the clicks. Yeah, but yeah, it was very funny.

Sometimes it's hard to cook dinner, right? Or even do a full meal prep for the week, let alone making it healthy. Mm-hmm, fuel up with factors, no prep, no mess meals, and meet your wellness goals thanks to the menu of chef-crafted meals with options like Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto. Factors fresh, never frozen meals are dietician approved

and ready to eat in just two minutes. So no matter how busy you are, you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious, great tasting meals. I like this idea, and I like factor meals specifically because they taste good. Yes, we have tried a number of them. We actually had a spread in here where we had four.

We had four meals that we shared between the two of us. And I like them. We tried as much as possible and it was all very, very good. Yeah, I think I can taste the fact that it was never frozen. You definitely can. With 35 different meals and more than 60 add-ons

to choose from every week, you'll always have new flavors to explore. Make your day delicious. From breakfast to dessert, stay fueled with easy, nutritious options. Factor has restaurant quality meals that feature premium ingredients like filet mignon, shrimp, and blackened salmon.

Plus, they can make it easier to enjoy your lifestyle with six menu preference choices to help you manage calories, maximize protein intake, avoid meat, or simply eat well-balanced. Head to factormeals.com slash ear 50 and use code ear 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.

That's code ear50 at factormeals.com slash ear 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Okay, let's go to this next voicemail, the would you rather question. Hey boys, this is a question for sex ever, Link. Would you guys rather have sex with Belvedere the cockatrice and everybody knows it

or have sex with each other and nobody knows it? Thanks, love you, bye. So Belvedere and everybody knows it, sex with each other, nobody knows it. Yeah. Do we know it? I think we would know it, so. Well, maybe there's some way we could arrange it

that one of us wouldn't know. What would happen, first of all, how do you have sex with a chicken? I know there's a cloaca, and this is- Right, so we're talking about this in theory, for entertainment purposes. Yeah, yeah, and we're not even gonna be for entertainment purposes. Yeah, yeah. And we're not even gonna be entertained by it.

That's right. We're not talking about having sex with a chicken link. We're talking about having sex with a sentient mascot. Just choosing that. A sentient mascot who we also at times worship as a God on Good Mythical Morning, which is weird. For those Belvedere says games. So let's just assume that from a biological perspective

that it is possible and consensual. And everybody knows it. And consensual, since it's a sentient being. I think we would have- It's like a bad boy. We'd have to take him out of the intro to the show. Yeah, definitely. Like he can no longer be in that

because I don't want it to be a daily reminder to every viewer who knew what we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reminded that we- Look, they're just completely celebrating it every morning. But that is what I'm using. Oh yeah.

And it's because I've been made to do it, right? I didn't wanna do it. Do they know that too? Does who know that? The people who know that I sexed the cockatrice. Oh, that's a good question. Do they know that it was so that I wouldn't have to sex you? Yeah, because they would find out

that both of us had had sex with it. Cause we probably both have to face this question. I think if we couldn't tell them then we'd have some real problems. If we couldn't tell them the reason why, I don't like this question. Oh, I see that. Let's stay with it then.

Ha ha ha ha ha. I mean, I think we'd be canceled for having sex with a chicken mascot. Well, that's a good point. That's a good point. So I guess a better question is, is would we have sex with each other in order to not be canceled?

Right. Listen, you know, I got other things I could do. Some people get canceled and go on to have wonderful lives. It would be sad, but it would be sad. They're like, well, you know, I can't show my face on the internet anymore, but I've taken up pottery and I quite enjoy it. I'm thinking about opening a little shop

where no one cares if I was canceled. Yeah, I just. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Yeah, inquiring minds, you know? Jenna, do you have your Batboy or what, did you find something?

Yeah, well, I had to, it took some deciding of like, what am I going to share with you all to give you an idea of why we like this stuff so much? It's multiple reasons. Anyway, But what you're about to read. Jamie will probably know. It's that Cassie and Nesta.

She knows. Okay, all right, let's hear it. Well, okay, so it's like a whole description and everything. Do you want the full page reading of this? Okay, all right. Setting the scene, Nesta is in her bed and Cassian has come in. Okay, and he is a shadow daddy or a bad boy?

A bad boy. Okay. Not both, just a bad boy. And she's just a woman? And she, well, no, she at this point has been thrown into the, she was a human and then she got thrown into the cauldron and now she is Faye and has her own kind of abilities that she's still working through and we kind of found out that she's kind of a harbinger, bringer of death type vibes.

Okay. Anyway, love. Okay. Okay. Okay. She knelt before him, nearly knee to knee. I still need more. Cassian's head lifted, eyes flashing. I know. She couldn't breathe under the stair, the beautiful face. How can I need you again so soon? It wasn't a coy,

courteous question. It was voiced out of sheer desperation because she did need more. She needed him back inside her, needed his weight, his mouth, and teeth on her. She had no explanation for it, that rising, unquenchable thirst. His eyes flickered. I've needed you from the moment I first met you, and now that I get to have you, I don't want to stop." Yes, she breathed about as much as truth as she admit. Yes, they stared at each other for a long minute for eternity and then to her shock and delight, Cassian hardened before her eyes. Okay, hope.

You know what that means. So far, this is just a romance novel. Where's the bat part gonna come in? Listen, it's not about that. That's just a side thing. Like, I wanna know when it gets, when does it get weird? When is it? It when does it get weird? When is it?

It doesn't always get weird. When does the echo locate her special spot? I think you might have to write one of these. I think you might have to write one of those. When is it like? Yeah, I don't think that. When he starts flapping uncontrollably? That does not happen.

That does not happen. Yeah, no one would like that. You are not going to enjoy... Batboy using echolocation to know if he's inside or not is not something any woman wants to read about. When does he hang upside down from the ceiling? They don't do that. When does he shit on our floor?

To my knowledge, that does not happen. I mean, if any of the bad boys were to do that, Cassian certainly would, that's 100% his mind. It's called guano. It's a resource. It's a resource. Yeah, Ace Ventura taught us that. I don't- Let's continue.

Maybe something will happen. Continue? Okay. He just had- I don't know. If it's just gonna be romance novel. He had just hardened and then you made a stop. Right before her eyes. Yeah, yeah, right before your eyes. Okay.

Do you see what you do to me, he asked. Do you see what happens every time I look at you all day, she smirked. I vaguely recall you boasting weeks ago that I would be the one to crawl into your bed. It seems like you did the crawling. His lips twitched upwards. It would seem so.

His heart thundered as he held her stare. Get on your hands and knees, he ordered, his voice so low she could barely understand him, but her blood heated and an ache that had nothing to do with how hard he'd just taken, with how hard he'd just taken her began to build between her legs once more. So Nessa did as he bade, bearing herself.

I feel like I'm okay. What? You don't want anymore? Hold on, hold on, keep going. Listen, keep going. All right, there's not much left. There's like a third of a page left. Bad Boy Don't Last Long?

She's on her hands and knees. No, I'm not gonna read the whole scene. Why are we turning out right now? I'm just getting to like the fun lines of the scenes. Okay. Okay. So Nessa did as he bade, bearing herself, still wet and gleaming from both of their releases. He snarled in satisfaction.

Beautiful. She whimpered a bit because beneath the praise, pure lust simmered. He growled. Put your hands on the headboard. Bats don't growl. They can't. These do. Bat boys. They make a noise.

They're not just bats. They're... They're... They're fey with wings. I just... Like... There's bat like Batman. It's not batty from Fern Gully. Like... Does he have bat wings? They're like tucked in.

So he doesn't have arms. He has arms. Well no, that's not how bats work. Well, in this writer's defense, most people are the wings. Hands are the wings, I know. A bat and an arm, a bat's wing and an arm are the same thing, evolutionarily speaking, but that's no fun.

The wings are bat-like. Okay. The wings are bat-like. Okay. The wings are bat-like. The wings are separate on dragons and stuff like that. You want her to keep going. I think we're done at this point, right? Yeah, yeah, really, put your hands on the headboard is a great one,

and then he leans in to whisper, hold on tight. Hold on tight. So things like, put your hands on the headboard, said so low that only an elephant can hear it. That's the- Put your hands on the headboard. Like that kind of thing. That's what the women want, man.

Because that's what bats do, they talk to elephants? She said it was so low, she could barely understand it. And that's like an elephant speaking at subsonic. Oh, I understand. Put your head on the headboard. My name is Lurch. Yeah, I understand. Put your head on the headboard. My name is Lurch. Yeah, I get that. Get down on all fours.

Sometimes you wanna give some commands like that or receive some commands like that. If you've established that that's part of the deal, that is not. Okay. Don't look at my ugly bat face. The role, you should definitely do the, you should do the role playing.

The role playing is fun. Eep, eep, eep, eep, eep, eep, eep, eep, eep, clean up my guano. I think, I just feel like maybe you need to tell me you need to reel it in a little bit. Read another one. When you do your role play. You need to tell me. Read another one. You need to reel it in a little bit.

Read another one. When you do your role play. Cherry Wild, have either of you ever been to a strip club? Huh. Ooh. Getting into the good stuff. I've never been to a strip club. I've never been to a strip club. I've never been to a strip club. I don't understand really. I mean I do, I understand.

I understand. What do you mean? But like, it's not even, like, how is it not so awkward to go, I mean I've seen them in like, well, I've seen the outside of them. You know, they're usually in like, where you've seen movies where people go to strip clubs. Yeah, I've seen the inside of them

in like scenes in entertainment. But I don't understand, you're just sitting there like, give me that chicken wing, and I'm just gonna sit here and like, you're gonna be, like your shins are eye level with me, and you're up there dancing, and what am I supposed to do? Be aroused, but just sit there? Seems very frustrating. Well, you're also supposed to tip. And then you're supposed to tip?

Yeah. Yeah. You don't, I mean, don't just sit there. It seems, I feel like I'm in an awkward, I would be in an awkward position. Well, yeah. Which I will call wacky missionary. Well, I don't know what to do here. That was maybe not the first thing that I thought when I thought about it, was it? Well, that would be awkward. I don't disagree with you that there's some awkward majors.

Because you're supposed to go and you're supposed to be like, oh, this isn't that big of a deal. She naked. Well, the funny thing is is... I'm here. Hold on, you're acting like... Eating some mozzarella sticks. You're not always naked. It depends on the... I'm here.

...state you're in and the rules. Your scenario. You're not always me. Well, I'm in Atlanta. You're by yourself. And I've heard about Atlanta. But in your scenario, why are you by yourself? It's even, because it's a bit less awkward.

But if you go with a group of people. Hey man, look at her. Yeah, me too, both looking at her. No, no, okay, maybe let me just, I've never been. I'm just imagining if I were to go. I imagine that I would be with a group of people and I would be talking to this group of people like you would if you just went to hang out

with other people. But the thing that happens to be, the entertainment that happens to be happening is people dancing naked or semi-naked. So you're not supposed to be like super horn, super aroused by this, you're just supposed, is that the game? It's like, yeah, this is cool to see this person

get like taking their clothes off and doing a sexy dance and bending over and taking my money. But I'm just here eating a corn dog. Or a lasagna. I don't know what they eat there. You know, it's like, is that the game? I mean, it's like, it's definitely your, people that go to strip clubs alone would probably be looked at as creepier than someone that would go in a group, because it's just supposed to be this fun thing that dudes or women do to, I don't know, have fun. I do think there's a different vibe in a male strip club versus a female strip club as well.

It's like a female strip club. You got guys hanging out going, hey man, are you horny? I'm horny, cause she's naked. Or getting there, hey man, how horny are you? Cause I'm horny. I don't understand. What are we talking about? Yeah, and then you also get lap dances, so you're just like, kinda like... That's even worse.

Cause you're not supposed to touch them, right? Correct. Correct. Okay, just to be explicit here, are you getting at the what do I do with my penis? Yeah, I mean. Because if I'm a man and I've got on pants and I'm looking at a naked lady, I'm probably going to get aroused.

And at that point I've got like, but that just takes me back to like middle school at that point. I had to walk around with an erection. You know, it's restricted to some degree. Yeah, am I gonna bring my book bag to the strip club so I can cover myself to get in a restroom? Well, don't wear sweatpants.

Okay, so that's a legitimate question, but let's set aside the physical conundrum for a moment. And then you know that everybody in there is aroused. Well yeah. It's just weird. What's weird about that? It's weird to be sit... if I went into a olive garden and I knew that everybody in there... Will wanted lasagna?

That's why they're there. No. What's fighting off... No, exactly. No, no, no. When everybody was batting down a woody... No, no. I just would feel weird. Wasanian? That's why they're there. No. What's fighting off? Exactly. When everybody was batting down a Woody, I just would feel weird. When you go to a golden corral,

and I'm not saying that the women dancing are food, they are in this analogy, but I'm saying something that you are physically attracted to, and everyone knows we're all there to be physically attracted to this. I'm just saying that doesn't strike me as the weird part. What'd you do with your penis? You have a legitimate question. I don't want to go somewhere with my friends and know that they're all...

aroused. Okay, okay, let's remove from that situation. What about when you and your friends are watching a movie and then there's an extended sex scene? Because I mean, there's one thing, like I don't know anybody, I mean, maybe people do this, like groups of people get around and watch porn, but I'm talking about just, you're like watching

Lethal Weapon. Lethal Weapon 2. Lethal Weapon 2. Yeah, in the RV. And so are you saying that during that moment, like, you're... I feel weird. You feel, oh, okay, this is interesting. You feel weird that we're all acknowledging that the thing that we're watching on the

screen is attractive to us, together as a group, but nothing's gonna happen because it's on a screen. I guess my mind is like... But you're pitching a tent. I don't want you pitching a tent in my living room. You don't want anyone else to have an erection for any reason in your presence? And me know it, bingo.

Okay. I definitely don't wanna go and spend money. Like just throw away cash, like literally. Well, hold on, your frugality is, we gotta pick an issue here. Hey, you know what? I've been saving up my hard earned pay so that I can sit next to my buddy who's pitching a tent. Like, I mean, I would love, I'm sure my body would love

looking at a stripper. But then my mind would be too weirded out. And I couldn't play it cool. Well I know you couldn't play it cool. There's no question about that, but that's, I'm just saying. And that's just, I mean, everybody, who are we fooling? Well, but there are situations, we have been to parties where people had dancers.

We went to that party that one time, you remember this, it was Ray William Johnson's birthday party. Yeah. Many, many years ago. Yeah, he had a nice- No, no. I don't know if it was his birthday party or if it was like celebration of a million subscribers.

I think that's what it was. This is like 14 years ago, a long time ago. He was the biggest thing on YouTube. It seemed like they were. They were. Dressed like school girls. They were dancers dressed up like him. They were wearing glasses and a t-shirt.

Yeah, and then like really small pants. Yeah. So that was, they were dancing sexually. I felt uncomfortable. On, okay, all right. Because you felt uncomfortable. Well, I guess what I'm saying is that to me, there's this like, and I, again,

I'm speaking theoretically here. I haven't been, I don't have plans to go. I also am not like, it would be something that like me and my wife would discuss together and we would make a decision together to do, you know what I'm saying? It's like- For the novelty of it. For whatever the reason, I'm just saying that

it's not something I'm gonna go like do in secret without her and we haven't discussed doing it. And so, but I'm saying, I imagine that if it were to happen, it would be in the context of our relationship, right? But I think maybe what I'm saying is that- But with a group of guy friends, if she was like, sure, go to a strip club, I don't care. Go with your boys, just have your fun.

Now, let's put some boundaries in place where you're not gonna take any action or touch anybody. You'd probably put a boundary in place like that. She wouldn't have to tell me. She wouldn't even have to tell you. She wouldn't have to tell me that. Would you do it? Yeah.

I just don't know if I could accept the invitation. I guess maybe, like, to me it would be like, you horny right now, man? I know you are. You're in a strip club with me. I guess maybe I to me it would be like, You horny right now, man? I know you are. You're in a strip club with me. I guess maybe I'm simple-minded. Naked women look good to me. Yeah, they do to me too.

So if I could be in a room where there's a naked lady dancing, that is an experience, like okay, if I'm in a hallway. Yeah, but I don't want my friends there pitching a tent beside me. Okay, but here it okay, if I'm in a hallway. Yeah, but I don't want my friends there pitching a tent beside me. Okay, but here it is, if I'm in a hallway and there are two doors, one door just goes out into a parking lot.

The other door goes into a room with a naked lady dancing. Yeah. I'm going to choose the room with the naked lady dancing. All things considered, like if I'm just, just which one would I rather be in? You're gonna take your mom in that room with you? No, my mom's not invited. But just because my guy friends are in the room doesn't mean,

well, I'm not going in there because my guy friends are in there. That's the part I don't understand. I'm not going into that room until I have a conversation with my wife. Until. I'm saying in this situation, I'm just saying that's the part that like, okay, maybe it would be less awkward if they weren't there, but then it would just be me and a woman dancing in a room.

And that's not what the situation that I'm trying to create, right? Right. But no one's thinking about you in that moment. Everyone's thinking about the naked lady. Okay, well that helps. You know what I mean? And if I turn and look at you and say,

you pitching the tent right now? You'd be like, hey dude. If we ever. Stop looking at me. Would you be like stop looking at me. For whatever reason, if we ever go to a strip club together, I'll set one boundary right now. You don't lean over to me and say,

are you horny right now? Like, don't talk to me, okay? Is that the rule? One rule is, no touching and no talking from you. You can't say anything until we get out of there, okay? Because you're gonna ruin it for me if you're like, are you horny? I know you are. Are you horny? I know you are. You horny? How could you not be?

Exactly. How could you not be? How could you not be? Exactly, so it'd be weird to even have another idea. Jen, are we crazy? Yeah, you're crazy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There was this bus. It was a work trip and we... We were taking a bus. We got on this shuttle bus. From the hotel to the strip.

Yeah, and it was broad daylight. And there was a driver and then there was a... Well, there was a woman. On the bus. And we sat down and she was like, would you like anything to drink? And I was like, well, this is nice. Yeah.

There's a woman who's gonna give us drinks. A waitress. And I said, sure. Yeah. And then I watched as she turned and she leaned into the front where there was a cooler. Yeah. And as she leaned over, bent over, let's be honest,

I was like, well, her shorts are mighty short and now I'm seeing her underwear, and it seems like she wants me to. She wanted us all to. And at that point, that was when I noticed there was a pole in the middle of the bus, but there's a lot of buses that have poles in them. With the structural integrity of the bus.

You gotta hold the roof up somehow. Right. It was a long. If you roll. Tall bus. And then as she gave us our drinks, she said, would you like me to dance? And everybody looked at us, because we were the bosses.

And we looked at each other and said to her, no thank you. I mean, I was blindsided. Yeah, it was a little unexpected. We didn't know what kind of bust we were on. And I will say, I did, I mean. The drink was nice. I said I was on the same page of no thank you.

Cause our familial expectations were that we wouldn't participate in such a thing. And I think maybe that's what I'm saying. That's the reason. It wasn't, this is about to get awkward, it was like, oh, I haven't talked to my wife about this. You know what I'm saying? Right. I didn't tell her that this was gonna happen.

Yeah. So. It's the type of thing that you wanna have an agreement in place beforehand, before you accepted a stripper dance. Yeah. And I mean, talk about, I mean, yeah, so, this isn't even just your boys in a strip club, this is your co-work, this is your employees

in a moving bus. Yeah. Which I'm sure does happen. Work trip, strip clubs. But everybody says, yeah, we know what we're doing. We're going on this bus. Like, you know, that's one thing. But that wasn't the situation.

So anyway, take and do what you will with that, Cherry Wild. Yes. Good question, good question. I think Rhett and Link and Stevie go to a strip club might have to be next year's Mythical Society thing. Or maybe take you to a pole class, you all learn to pole dance. I think that'll be fun.

Oh, so that we can appreciate the artistry of it. Yeah. So then the goal is to appreciate it so much that you don't get horny? Ain't nothing wrong with getting horny. Right, that's what I don't understand. But ain't nothing wrong with saying there's something awkward about getting horny

in certain company. I'm not, I mean, if you feel awkward, you feel awkward. I'm just saying that that's not on the list of. I mean, I didn't even like Jenna reading all that story. First thing's coming to mind when I think about strip clubs is this is awkward is like number seven. You're not wrong, it just doesn't hit the, it doesn't come up in like my concerns.

And so a little bit lower on the list. Let's listen to this voicemail. Hi Rhett and Link. My name is Savannah. I'm from Washington State. I have a question since you guys are both fathers and married and in loving relationships. I'm expecting my first child in March and I'm just wondering how sex changes after a baby. Me and my fiance are very much in love and we have a pretty good lifestyle when it comes to that, so I just don't want that to go away. Be good to see your input, hear your input.

Alright, thank you. Bye. Good question. Well, as far as I understand it, it stretches out but then it goes back. Okay, all right, okay, thanks for that. It's really amazing that elasticity. I don't know if that's what the question was about, but yeah, okay. Now we've only had C-sections,

so that's why I'm saying as far as I understand it. Oh, okay, well, yeah. No, we've only had C sections. So that's why I'm saying as far as I understand it. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. But I pretty much know that's how it works. It goes back, yeah. It goes back. So you'll be fine.

I don't know if that was what the question was referring to, but yeah, it stretches out, comes back. It will impact your sex life, having a child will impact your sex life. For the following potential reasons. It's the worst part about having children is that it makes it hard to not have a negative impact on your sex life. I don't believe that there is any world in which

if you were having a whole lot of sex before you had kids, it will be very challenging to continue to have that much sex after kids. Right, I mean just, because every single thing, Sheer hours in a day. Every single thing from the physicality of depending on the nature of the delivery, there is a minimum amount of time

that you're supposed to wait. And then if there are complications or, you know, it could be even longer than that. Basically for the rest of your non-adult kid having life, you got kids in the house, then you gotta navigate that as some sort of a challenge, some sort of a barrier to intimacy. Well, think about when you have your parents over

to your house if you're a couple that doesn't have kids, or you have a guest over, like how does having someone else in your home impact your propensity to have sex? Right. It's like, well, okay, well, we gotta have the door locked. We can't be as loud as we would be if no one was here. Those two things alone work against you.

And so I- We can't have that stove sex that we've grown so far. We can't have sex in every room kind of situation, you know? And also you're going to be more tired because you're not gonna be getting sleep because that little bastard's gonna, you know. And also you're going to be more tired because you're not gonna be getting sleep because that little bastard's gonna keep you up. And then, so you're tired, which takes away from libido,

all these things. And so I think that what you said in your voicemail when you were like, we want to continue to have, I can't remember how you said it, you wanna continue to have sex. I think that's the most important thing is that you have the conversation where you acknowledge that the dynamics of having a child

are going to make our sex life more challenging, which means that if we're going to continue to have a healthy sex life, that's satisfying, and both of us can be content, then we need to be communicative about that desire and what things might need to be in place in order to make sure that we, you know, you gotta get on the defensive a little bit.

You got, that little kid is going to attack your sanity and your restfulness and your libido. But I can say as someone who's had two children, I have, at this point, I have a more satisfying sex life than I did before the children, but that's simply a function of what we talked about when we answered that earlier question about just figuring it out,

being more in sync and that kind of thing. But that leads to wanting to have sex more often, I think, when you're doing it right. I think you've got to completely come to grips with the fact that the best laid plans to get laid are laid to rest by children. You got to deal with it. And the more you can coordinate and plan and counteract it,

it's something to be counteracted, which has the word act in it. You have to be strategic about prioritizing and protecting a sacred space. a sacred space and, I mean, literally the space and the time and the frequency and all of these things are like, okay, you gotta, you know, the more you can discuss it, develop a game plan.

It takes work. Because some people. To keep prioritizing it. I have known stories, friends of friends. Yeah. From the past. It can get away from you. Where a child, you know,

a lot of people sleep with their kids in the bed, right? I'm not gonna, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a pediatrician, I'm not gonna tell you what you should and shouldn't do, okay? But let's say you are one of those couples that has made a decision that your child is gonna sleep in your bed with you. Yes. Well, that is going to impact your sex life

significantly to the point that it becomes another factor that's thrown on top of this stew that is working against you having sex. So it'd be like, okay, if you're a couple that keeps a child in the bed for your reasons, then it could be like, well, when you gonna have sex? Does that mean that like, well, we need to have a crib outside of the bed, which, first of all,

I'm not a doctor, I'm saying, you're not really supposed to sleep with a newborn because it's dangerous, I mean, I can say that, but like, look, whatever, like, there needs to be a place that you can put the child that's not in the same room so you can have sex. And if you don't have that conversation, I'm just using that as kind of an extreme example

because I know of couples who have stopped having sex after children and one of the factors was the kid's always in the room with them at night. And you might, and if you don't have like the foresight that that's gonna happen, you might just back into, hey, we're bringing the baby home and this is, you just find yourself doing things. You're coping and you're trying to keep your head

above water but becoming a parent. So you can find yourself in the midst of habits and practices that have unanticipated side effects, including we're no longer physically intimate. So you can find yourself there, and we're just warning you. And also that can happen if kids aren't even a factor. It can happen, I think it's like-

People stop having sex all the time. For all types of reasons I think it's like- People stop having sex all the time. For all types of reasons and it's like, it's just, because it's an easy thing to deprioritize or to put off. And listen, you may be like, we don't have sex, neither of us want to. And okay, we're not saying you have to have sex in order to have a healthy relationship.

We're just saying, if one or both of you wants to have sex and that sex isn't happening and you're not talking about it, this will not be the only problem in your relationship. There will be, so I think that if, I'm assuming the person who called in and said, I wanna keep having sex, well, I'm assuming that you're talking to your partner about it.

And if you're not, then you're probably not talking about your sex life already. But if you have a healthy communication about your sex life, then preparing for things like, oh, how is this child going to impact our sex life and what are we gonna do about it? Just having that conversation and continuing that conversation,

regardless if it's about kids or if it's about physical injury or if it's about depression, all kinds of things that can kind of take you out of the mood. The moment the conversation stops, most likely the sex stops, you know? So that's, we always say it. Oh, yeah.

Usually the answer to just about everything is communication. Just keep talking about it. Or go to a strip club. Yeah. All right. You can't communicate with me at a strip club, though. That's the one place you're not allowed to communicate with me. No eye contact.

Great. Great. Fine. Great. I know for a fact now... Exactly. Exactly. ...that I would not be able to enjoy myself at a strip club with you. I don't even have any plans to go. I already knew that. I'm glad that I convinced you. Mission accomplished. The one thing we didn't talk about at all is that there is the,

it didn't cross my mind and I don't wanna, I'm not trying to sound important here, but I might get recognized at a strip club and that is something that is a factor. Like, I go into Long John Silver's and sometimes I'm worried about getting recognized. You know what I'm saying? That is a strip club.

I mean, have you seen the name? It's like, depending on where I'm at. And it is, hey, it is silver. And so then I have, have you seen the name? It's like, depending on where I'm at. And it is, hey, it is silver. And so then I have to have, I have to have a fan conversation with somebody. Big fan! I don't want that to happen there. Bigger fan than normal right now.

Big fan, you horny like me! What if it's a stripper who's giving you a lap dance and then telling you that they're a fan of the show? I would run away. I would run away from that situation. I'm not gonna get in that kind of trouble, Jenna. We are so, you know what? We get in the car and go back home.

We've been, we've been spared so many awkward problems. One more line that that guy should use. Oh yes, please, please. It's about how the men in these novels use their words. Okay, I got that. Okay, yeah, here you go. This is a good one that could be utilized in a lot of different ways. So take it for, this is Reese talking to Feyre. There's some flirty banter going back and forth.

She calls him some silly name or something and he goes, let's see what names you call me when my head is between your legs. Oh, okay. Take that one home with you. Okay, bad boy. There you go. Oh, that's quite a retort. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, that'll work. That will, will. Yeah. So when somebody, That'll, So when somebody, Yeah. That'll work for me. Yeah.

Cause Christy will call me a name. She'll call me names. Like what? That's beside the point. Okay. Okay. She's asking. Like impulsive, unpredictable. Those aren't really gonna work. Those aren't names. Those are just adjectives.

Well if you're gonna describe me, see how... does that work? What am I? No. Describe me while I'm between your legs. See how, does that work? When my? No. Describe me while I'm between your legs. Hey, it's still kinda worse. Describe me when your ankles are by your ears. We'll workshop it. Workshop it, workshop it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks for joining us, thanks for your questions. Thanks for indulging us. You're gonna have to speak up when your knees are in your ears. Oh my God. There you go. There you go. There you go. I love that Jamie and I both had a moment where we were trying to figure that one out.

Like, how would that...huh. See what names you're calling me when my head is between your legs. Okay, that's it. Yeah, that's it. No need to iterate's it. Yeah, that's it. That's it. No need to iterate on it. No, thank you. Hey, keep asking those questions. They don't have to be about sex.

In fact, now they shouldn't be about sex. They should be about anything else, everything else. You need some advice about something and you think we can give you some advice that you can definitely take or leave? Yeah, why would you think that? One, eight, eight, eight. Ear Pod One.

Hello there Rhett and Link. Happy friend-diversary, 40 years going strong and hopefully many more to come. Really looking forward to see the next season of GMM and continued season of WonderHole. Have a great day, bye.