Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Link’s Romantic Big Sur Getaway | Ear Biscuits Ep.311
Episode Date: November 15, 2021From basking in the sound of rain serenading their cabin to some eye-opening revelations about himself and his nakedness, Link recounts his recent romantic trip to Big Sur with his wife Christy in thi...s episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is mythical.
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Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time.
I'm Rhett.
And I'm Link.
This week at the round table of dim light,
and I'm giving you your tit for tat.
The tit was your trip to Key West,
and it was a lot of tits.
Yeah, you're not gonna have nearly as many as me.
And now I'm giving you some tats, man. If you saw as many tits in Big Sur as I trip to Key West and it was a lot of tits. Yeah, you're not gonna have nearly as many as me. And now I'm giving you some tats, man.
If you saw as many tits in Big Sur as I saw in Key West,
then I don't know what festival that was.
Well, let me tell you, I did,
but they were all on the same woman,
just different instances.
Okay, I see where you're going with that.
So I will say there is a little,
there's gonna be some conversation about sex in this.
Seems to be something we're doing lately.
Once we've, yeah, we busted that hatch open.
Yeah.
And now we're just crawling right out of it
again and again, but you know, I feel free to,
I think it's gonna come up in conversation.
Yeah, okay.
When telling you about my trip to Big Sur with Christy,
at the same time that you were in Key West,
I was doing that.
It was just the two of us.
Shorter trip, didn't have to get on a plane,
totally different vibe.
Kind of like the different vibes in what we're wearing,
which I will get to what I'm wearing in a little bit
and also get to what you're wearing.
But yeah, I'm gonna talk about that.
And then I think towards the end of this conversation,
by way of recommendation,
I'm gonna talk about sex in a different way
that's not related to my own experience,
but some things that I've learned
through a series that I watched
that I wanna talk to you about.
So I'm gonna save some time for that.
So it's kind of a side A and a side B to this conversation
that I envision happening.
But that's a little bit of a warning.
If you've had enough of sex talk from Rhett and Link.
Who has?
Then just go to something else.
Or once we start getting into that,
you can skip away to something else.
I have a little sex update, I guess you could call it,
that I have to get into.
Well, okay, we'll go right for it now then.
Like an errors and omissions situation.
Okay, from last episode?
I teased last week's episode
about getting shot with a wiener gun.
From a golf cart, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I never told the story
because there's no story.
It was just, I was walking down the street
and there was a woman with a giant penis water gun
and she was just shooting.
You're talking, it was like a shotgun?
No, I'm saying it was like-
Like a wiener?
I'm saying, when I say giant,
I mean giant as if it were an actual penis.
It would be like, that's a big penis,
but not like a super soaker, which would be like, that's a big penis, but not like a super soaker,
which would be like, no one's got that penis.
And if they do, they're like in a record book somewhere.
It's just more like, that's a-
It's a special record book.
That's a big penis, but it's not, it's just a water gun.
I don't think Guinness is in the business
of measuring peni.
Not anymore, yeah, sadly.
But they, she squirted me.
She squirted everyone.
I mean, she was just having the time of her life.
Was it water?
Yeah.
I mean, it didn't go in my mouth,
but it didn't smell weird.
It went in your nose.
It just went on my face and chest.
Oh, wow.
That's a bold move.
Yeah, yeah, she got me.
Hey, you can get away in that golf cart though.
Another advantage. I could have never caught up with her. Of an off-road golf me. Hey, you can get away in that golf cart though. Another advantage.
I could have never caught up with her.
Of an off-road golf cart.
I don't know what I would have done.
Grabbed her gun.
I had made plans to go to Big Sur
and then they were eradicated by the pandemic.
So for our 20 year wedding anniversary,
which in 2020 is when we were gonna go.
I had it booked, I had to cancel.
So I ended up going back to that same place.
But since then you've been,
and then I heard about the place
because Stevie recommended it.
And I started looking into it, it's called Glen Oaks.
They took a motor home, not a motor home,
a motor lodge that's been in Big Sur for a long time.
And they revamped that, but you can't even really see that.
I never actually saw that part of it.
And then they also have cabins,
like individual or like two cabins put together.
And so you can rent out one of those.
This is very much a glamping experience.
It's like the best of both worlds.
I was very much looking forward to it.
By the time I rebooked,
I didn't get the cabin that I wanted.
When you're driving up through Big Sur,
there's basically just Highway 1.
There's nothing, man.
And you're going up there and it's, I mean,
there's so many screen savers of Big Sur
that you didn't even know.
Like, and there's the Bixby Bridge, which was built in 1936,
this huge, beautiful, arching, under arched bridge
that when you drive across it,
you might not appreciate how amazing it is
until you look back.
It's right on the coast.
It's that one from, if you watch,
is it Big Little Lies?
Is in the intro.
I haven't watched that.
Christy watched that without me.
It's good.
It's good, especially the bridge part.
Oh really? Every episode.
She only told me about the wiener part.
There was like, there was a-
Skarsgård.
There was an erect wiener walking around.
I think it was probably a prosthetic.
I don't think, I think that's how they do it these days.
So you're, when you're driving up,
you're right on the coast and so much of the coast
is just these, I know you went
and I know you talked about on your biscuits
and I don't wanna rehash everything,
but it just bears repeating how beautiful
the whole- Maybe the most beautiful place
on earth. Central coast
of California, I've never been
to the Northern coast of California yet.
And I kind of thought I was in Northern California
until I looked at the map.
There's a lot of California.
It's very much central.
You know, there's a whole part of California,
the Lost Coast, where the train is too crazy,
they couldn't even get a road to like hug the coast
that you can get there by like certain roads.
Yeah, our friend Nick went there but our friend Nick went up there.
I gotta get up there.
That whole, I mean, that's a completely different world.
Hardly any people up there.
So when you're going, I mean,
you're right on the edge of these cliffs
and you can look down and just see the waves crashing
against the rugged coastline of California.
There's a few places where it turns into very rugged beaches
and there's a handful of state parks
along in the Big Sur area.
But when you really drive to Glen Oaks
and I think you went to Ventana
or I can't remember what it was called.
No, I went to the-
You can't even remember?
It was like the best place I've ever stayed.
And it's just completely the post ranch.
Post ranch.
Those are like real, that's not glamping,
that's like resort stuff, which is very cool
and I wanna do that too.
But it's individual cabins though.
Oh. Yeah, it's not a resort.
It's just resort prices.
It's exorbitant, but like we stayed in a tree house
that was just-
Oh yeah, you stayed in a tree house.
It was just an individual tree house.
See, I do remember this now.
These cabins are on the ground, but when you're,
I really began, I'd driven through Big Sur a couple of times
and I began to really appreciate the topography of,
at a certain point you leave the coast
and you veer in to the redwoods
that are all growing in there.
And there's this huge ravine, huge valley,
and you can no longer see the ocean.
And then you're kind of going down there into the bottom
and the Big Sur River comes through there.
Is that the Carmel Valley?
No, I don't know that it has a name.
It's Big Sur proper,
like at that particular place where these cabins are.
On the right side of the road when you're going north
was where you check in
and the cabin that Christy and I ended up staying in.
But the cabin I wanted and that are the most coveted
are the ones across the street.
And then you walk down to where the river
is gently flowing through there.
And there's cabins all around it.
And it's nothing but redwood groves, very rustic cabins.
So I wanna go back and I definitely did some reconnaissance.
There's an opportunity for like you and Jesse
to come with us.
Maybe we can bring some other friends
because there's some other places to stay at Glen Oaks
that can accommodate more people that look totally isolated
and absolutely amazing.
At the same place, just different parts of the same place.
Yeah, but the cabin we stayed in was on the other side,
but it was still an amazing glamping experience.
You got this king bed,
and then you've got a little kitchenette.
You've got this fireplace in the room
that's very cute, nice, and glampy.
And then they've got a bathroom with heated floors.
Oh yeah. You got those heated tiles.
Well, it gets cool up there, man.
Yeah, it can get really cold.
It's nice to be able to walk barefoot
and then sit down on your throne.
And there was a two person shower,
two separate shower heads,
shower pressure and heat was very great.
They really put a lot of their attention.
Shower pressure note.
I mean, these things really matter
when you're talking about glamping.
The difference between camping and glamping-
I mean, shower pressure is important.
Is heat, shower pressure, and I didn't know it,
but heated floors in the bathroom.
But it's not a Motel 6.
I mean, if they don't get hot water, I mean,
first of all, Motel 6 is gonna give you hot water too.
But you don't know about the pressure.
And you also don't know about the mattress.
The mattress could have been a little bit better.
The sheets could have been a little bit better, but I'm mattress. The mattress could have been a little bit better. The sheets could have been a little bit better,
but I'm spoiled.
The sheets could have been better?
We got some sheets at home that are like just T-shirt.
They're so soft.
And these have been like Clorox to death,
which makes us feel good.
So, Christy and I are having this conversation
and we're not complaining because it's like,
well, you know they're clean because they're-
They're hard?
They're a little hard.
And they feel like they've been bleached to death.
What I'm really trying to say is
you've got the environment of camping,
but it's glamorous in there.
Oh yeah.
I was very much looking forward to staying for three nights
so that I could get two full days of just Christy and I
just hanging out, just being together.
Like there are trails that you can go on around there,
but we were like, we're not gonna do that.
This is just about us hanging out.
We're not doing the hiking thing.
Christy had some sort of,
and she might develop a reputation.
The first time she's on this podcast,
one of the first things she says is, I have diarrhea.
So leading up to this trip, she had diarrhea.
But she had-
Well, you didn't have to say it.
She had gotten it under, well, it plays into what happened.
Okay.
So yeah, I do have to say it.
All right.
And with her permission.
But she is developing a reputation as the diarrhea woman.
She had gotten it under control.
It kind of subsided in the two days leading up to our trip.
And then we're driving the five and a half hour drive
to Big Sur and we stop at Pismo Beach.
You remember in 2008 for the Great American Road Trip,
we were- World's largest clam.
We were trying to make a song called
the World's Largest Song,
which is basically just footage of us
in front of the world's largest tourist trap stuff,
which we drove way out of our way to go to Pismo Beach.
The Pez Museum was also there though, wasn't it?
That was outside of San Francisco in Burlingame.
Same trip. Burlingame.
And then, matter of fact,
there's a place north of there called Castroville
that has the world's largest artichoke.
You remember going there?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember we did our Thursday night
Rhett and Link cast live from the RV
with very sketchy internet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From the parking lot of the world's largest artichoke,
which is basically just like a paper mache
slash concrete artichoke edifice on the side of a diner.
Which also the world's largest clam is also just
a concrete thing.
And these are not impressive things.
That says, welcome to Pismo Beach.
So I'm like, Christy, I've been here.
And so then it was lunchtime, so we stopped,
we found a highly rated place right on the beach.
We were able to like watch the surf
and we ate this like lobster crab roll.
And then we get back in the car and Christy's like,
I'm not feeling good.
I think some urgency is returning.
Oh wow.
And I need some more medicine.
So we're like going to get some anti-diarrheal medicine.
Trip really started off with a bang.
This is great.
I mean, cause you think about,
all right, we're gonna get to this.
She was okay, but there was like rumblings.
Right.
You know, when you're on that road trip
and you get the rumbles, that's a little disconcerting.
And I mean, I'm assuming that you guys are,
and you've actually talked about this,
but like, and we're the same way,
it's like when you're on vacation
and you're married with children,
you get to the hotel room and it's-
First thing you wanna do is take a liquid shit.
No, it's not. You want to the hotel room and it's game on. First thing you wanna do is take a liquid shit. No, it's not.
You want to get it on.
You wanna break in that cabin.
You wanna just bend it over and tell that cabin to submit.
Where is the cabin so involved?
You gotta get the, oh yeah,
it's every part, involve every part of the cabin.
You might have to hold onto the wall or something.
Yeah, hold onto those antlers.
There were no antlers.
I mean, we do get there, by the time we got there,
she's like texting the doctor's office
because she had read this thing about like how raw onions.
There was a salmonella outbreak.
A salmonella outbreak.
Nationwide, like 37 states.
And she was pretty convinced
that that's what was happening.
Yeah.
And so we get there and yeah,
there's no like walking into the cabin
and getting it going.
It's like- Unless it's a bathroom trip.
Hey, heated floors.
You don't want anything to land on this heated floors
because I guess it would start to cook.
Okay, God. You don't wanna hear a sizzle from the floor because I guess it would start to cook. Okay, God.
You don't want to hear a sizzle from the other room.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm sorry.
That didn't happen.
And the floor wasn't that hot.
It was just warm for the record.
But we finally get there and I had,
like after we left there
and she was feeling bad and she's like on the phone
with the doctor and trying to like troubleshoot
this salmonella stuff,
if that's what's been going on with her.
I'm like, grab that cold brew out of the back
because we're not gonna stop for me to have the coffee
that I need at three o'clock in the afternoon.
And I just drank a cold,
I pulled over on the side of the road.
I drank a cold brew while Christy sat in the car
and took an anti-nausea pill
because then that was happening
on these like curvy PCH roads.
And there's, the thing I didn't know about that area
is there's nothing to stop at.
I mean, there's- There's pull-offs
so you can like look at scenery
and that's the beauty of Big Sur is that-
But there's like, oh, this is a little town.
Oh, is there a restaurant here?
Is there a place that we can get a cup of coffee?
Like, you'll go very long stretches with nothing.
Nothing. It's pristine,
but you don't really have,
you gotta bring the stuff with you.
I didn't want her vomiting from being car sick
as well as everything else we established.
So I gave her 20 minutes sitting in the car-
Yeah, that's a rough road. while I downed my cold brew.
And then a couple hours later, by the time we get there,
I'm like, man, I'm feeling bad too.
I'm feeling like super wired.
Like I drink way too much cold brew
and I felt absolutely horrible.
Like my head was spinning.
I hadn't eaten anything.
Like I was also a little car sick.
She was sick.
You guys aren't even gonna be able to make it.
This is a great start to our Big Sur trip.
You specialize in good starts to trips though.
I'm telling you, man.
The doctor called in just for out of safety,
called in antibiotic, but we had to drive
another hour and a half north, now in the dark, to Carmel. Past.
We had to drive all the way to Carmel
in order to find the nearest-
Pharmacy. Rite Aid, CVS,
whatever it was. Yeah.
So she goes up there and she gets her anti-diarrheal stuff
and she gets her prescription medications
and I'm plopping down a couple of enemas.
I'm like, we've got opposite problems here.
Good Lord.
Cold brew doesn't clean me out.
When I travel, I can't get anything going.
So we're like bookends on a sad bookshelf here.
I mean, first of all- This is our first night.
Just so you know, I mean, this is probably
how every vacation is gonna start 20 years from now,
but you're just getting an early start to it.
I bought four of those enemas and I'm just gonna have to carry them with me like a gunsling years from now, but you're just getting an early start to it. I bought four of those enemas
and I'm just gonna have to carry them with me
like a gunslinger from now on.
It's like, I gotta get holsters for these things
every time I travel.
Oh.
I mean, you say that I'm-
What about the fiber?
Routine oriented, like-
It doesn't help.
My smoothie in the morning,
I don't take my smoothie stuff when I went on vacation.
I'm gonna eat like the breakfast burritos and whatnot.
You know what?
I actually thought about this recently.
I think it's legitimately good to,
if you eat the same thing every single morning,
to take a break from it on vacation.
Don't try to- I kinda thought that too.
Don't try to bring your smoothie situation,
first of all, bringing your smoothie situation on vacation
would be annoying to everyone who was with you.
But also I think- There's only one person.
Well, your wife would be very annoyed,
but legitimately, I think you should take a break
from the same ingredients over and over again
every single day.
It can be a little bit of a shock to a system,
but I think it is a good practice.
Yeah, it's nothing that shoving a needle nose
squish bottle up your rectum-
Yeah, you just intimate out.
And squeezing won't fix.
Yeah.
I'm sorry this is such a visceral start to the episode.
Yeah.
I don't think it's gonna get better,
but it is gonna get sexier.
I can talk about glitter boobs.
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We got the stuff in her system
and we got the stuff out of my system.
Wow.
And you guys just need to get together.
But it was like, you know what?
Tonight's just a wash.
Let's forget it.
And hopefully we did wash.
We did wash and we just started, you know,
start over with a clean slate in the morning.
We woke up both feeling better.
Her issues were behind her.
You're not even trying.
And it started raining a lot.
Ooh.
Like it wasn't like a hurricane or anything.
But there was like-
But it was a lot of rain.
The most rain in the shortest period of time
that Northern California has ever seen.
Well, yeah, in the Central Coast,
they called it like a bomb storm.
Like the word bomb was part of it.
Yeah, I can't remember what it was, but yeah, it was nuts.
And so we got out, we got some coffee across the street
with our umbrellas, we come back to the room
and it's, I mean, we got this nice cabin.
We got nothing to do but each other.
And so it was actually perfect.
We were, I mean, that's what we did, each other.
And with nowhere else to go, with nowhere else to be,
I mean, a lot of times when you go on a vacation,
you know, there's things you wanna do,
there's things you wanna tick off the checklist,
there's people that you're gonna hang out with
that maybe you're traveling with,
like your brother and sister-in-law.
Yeah.
Like without any of that,
and with no kids around,
it was like a glorious focus on just the two of us.
And it was- Better than a puzzle,
for sure. And let me tell you,
the rain made it an amazing experience.
Did you go outside?
The Judds have a song,
Rockin' to the Rhythm of the Rain.
Oh yeah, the Judds.
That's a good song.
The Judds will get me going anytime.
We didn't play the Judds,
but I did think about it
as we were rocking to the rhythm of the rain.
We didn't go outside to-
Make love in the rain.
To make love in the rain.
We stayed in this amazing cabin.
And then we were like, you know what?
Let's just lay here and listen to the rain.
I was playing some music at a certain point
that was like ambient sounds that complimented the rain,
but I just killed that noise.
I mean, if you tell your smart speaker
or your sleep device or whatever to play rain sounds,
this is a legitimate top tier way to relax and go to sleep.
Oh yeah.
It's manufactured and comes out of your smart speakers.
Right.
I think for the first time in my life,
I experienced it in its most pristine form.
The night before-
You've never heard the rain on the roof?
Well, the night before we noticed
that we weren't in a redwood grove where we were,
we were in an actually an oak grove
and acorns would fall and hit the roof of our cabin
and scare the shit out of us because,
well, because of the problems we were having that first night.
No, because it was just so loud.
And I thought someone was like knocking on the,
well, somebody was walking on the roof.
It was-
One inch, one foot at a time.
You had to get used to it.
But then when you add, when you replace that with rain,
it was a literal sound bath.
And it was an amazing experience just to lay there.
And it was so meditative.
I mean, to have that thing that you can pull up
on a YouTube video so that you can study or fall asleep,
to experience that in its most natural form.
Yeah, I had never experienced a legitimate rain serenade.
On a hot tan roof?
It was, I mean, it was a highlight of my life.
Especially sexing in the rain, man.
That was amazing.
I know how you tend to get enthusiastic
about things like this.
Cause I want, I make a decision to drink in life
in those moments and say, you know what?
It doesn't get any better than this.
Other things are gonna be, and this is me talking.
Well, no, that's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
So I'm trying to figure out.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Things have gotten this good,
but nothing is going to get better than this.
Well, no, yeah.
You make a decision to do it,
but you also make a decision to say that you're doing it
and to try to get everybody else to do it too.
So I'm just saying, was Christy like, yeah, I'm-
Oh, she was with me.
She's shaking her head at you.
She was with me.
I mean, it was really magical.
I think she, you know, she's taken up the range too.
I mean, no one wants to be like, hey, listen,
you need to just, I get it.
This is awesome.
But I don't need you to tell me that it's awesome.
I do understand that.
And I wasn't doing it forever.
I mean, we literally just laid there
and listened to the rain.
For how long?
I don't want to ever forget it.
Definitely over an hour.
And this is after like many hours of intense lovemaking.
Oh man, give me a break.
No, it wasn't many hours,
but when you don't have anything else to do
besides each other, you can stretch everything out.
And it's nice to get reacquainted with that and say,
hey, remember on our honeymoon when we did it so much
that we were walking like cowboys?
Let's see if we can match that.
Let's see if we can have multiple sessions.
But you find yourself saying, hey, actually, you know what?
Let's just listen to the rain for an hour.
It might take me that long to re-up. That way after that first session,
the perspective changes.
The rain cleared up by mid-afternoon
and we went back to the place that you guys had recommended
that we had been before called Nepenthe or,
it's right on the coast.
It's like there's a bookstore and a restaurant
and you sit on the back of the restaurant and you over,
you just look at the ocean.
It's absolutely amazing.
We saw an amazing sunset and we're like talking
to the waiter, like making friends,
laughing louder than anybody else there.
Like I said last episode,
it's just like just feeling in the zone, feeling like, oh, look, we're having the most fun.
We're connecting.
We're like, it feels like we're on our honeymoon again.
And we're watching this beautiful sunset
and look over at Christie's purse.
And it had been up on the, we were sitting at a bar
so we could both sit shoulder to shoulder
and watch the sunset.
Like that was the best seat in the house.
And up on that bar, her bag was like open
and it turns out something was spilling out of it.
And every time that anyone walked by
or the person sitting right beside Christy
on the other side could definitely see
that she had a huge box of anti-diarrheal medication
just out there in front of everybody.
And Christy's like putting it away
at the end of our whole meal,
after being there for like two hours.
And we're like talking to the guy about it.
He's like, yeah, I saw that,
but I didn't wanna say anything.
So it's even though, I don't know,
it just wouldn't leave us.
Like it was, the diarrhea was a specter.
Well, yeah, when you need to be ready.
We ate at that, we had just a coffee at that place.
It's a cool spot, man.
And it was a very wild bird
that was very aggressively eating people's food.
Oh, there wasn't one of those.
Off of their table.
They must've shot him.
Must've killed him.
I might've been eating him.
I ate a chicken sandwich.
Next day we got up and there was no rain in the forecast
for that day.
So I'm like, all right,
today's the day that we're gonna go down by the river.
And again, no hiking.
We're gonna go into like full meditative retreat mode.
They take these Adirondack chairs.
Are you familiar?
Yeah, I believe so.
Well, describe it.
Adirondack chair to me is one of those,
it's like high back made out of wood.
Yeah, you just kind of leans back a little bit.
Yeah.
And you're kind of low to the ground.
They had taken pairs of those and put them
in the Big Sur River.
Cause the river is basically just really wide stream.
And there's lots of places where you can just sit
on the rocks.
So we just went down there and sat for a while
and just did nothing.
Feet in the water?
Too cold for that.
I was like, I'm gonna get totally ready for this.
I'm gonna put on my new sweatshirt.
I don't know if you've noticed.
This is the moment.
This is the moment you explain your sweatshirt.
I ordered this thing off an Instagram ad.
Shout out to my friend Todd Snyder, teaming up with LL Bean.
And I'm like- It makes quite a statement.
I'm like, I think this is, how do you say, ironic,
but not really.
It kind of says, I don't really go camping,
but I like the idea of camping.
Yes.
And this isn't, I think this is Maine.
You know, you got some ducks flying,
you got some fall foliage going all the way down
the sleeves on this thing.
Yeah, it's quite a print.
That's not easy to do.
I did get a compliment or two for it.
What did they say?
I think it was something like-
A nice sweatshirt?
What did he say?
We were in one of these like little,
you'll find a little bookstore on the edge of the,
with some like philosophical stuff.
People doing a lot of introspection up in that place.
Yeah, I think he said something like,
that sweatshirt is hot.
Not hot, maybe he was like, fire.
I don't think he said no cap, I can't remember.
But who was this guy?
It was just a dude who seemed cool.
How old?
He was a little younger than me.
So I think it worked for him.
It definitely worked for me.
And I got the photos to prove it.
So here I am sitting in the Big Sur River
in an Adirondack chair wearing my turtleneck sweatshirt.
What were the feet?
Where the main scene.
They were on the rocks.
It was just too, it was a little too cold.
But okay, but-
Put your feet in the water.
It's not like in the water.
It's like on a rock in the river.
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So it's just another day of nothing and kind of looking,
like walking around the grounds of this place,
going back to the room,
having another love-making session.
It's just, you know,
it's just like you set your parameters small
and then it's just a lot of, you know what?
I'm gonna be naked.
I'm gonna be naked.
Literally there's something about,
I'm gonna make something cry.
I was like, I'm gonna be naked in this cabin.
Oh yeah. For a long time.
And there's something about Big Sur that does that to you
because when we were up there, we had, in the tree house,
we had the fire and then I was just like, why do, clothes?
Why? Yes.
And I was- And that's why,
when you're talking about the glitter boots and stuff,
it's like, I'm actually, I was much more open to that story
and like putting a tube sock on my package.
It's one thing to be in a cabin,
another thing to be on Duval Street in Key West.
I know, but maybe it's a slippery slope.
Not for me.
I think my feet are firmly gripping the ground there.
I love being naked.
And I realized that there's a freedom in that,
that like something we were watching
that I'll talk to you about kind of informed this mindset.
So again, I'll get to that, but the experience was,
you know what, this is my body.
These are our bodies and we're into each other
and we're not into clothes.
And let's just- Yeah, who needs them?
And we bought our own blanket
because we brought our favorite blanket.
So, I mean, a little blanket is nice,
but there's just something magical about being together
and just saying, you know what?
We need not clothing.
It just felt edifying.
It felt like, okay, I'm comfortable, I'm accepted.
We know each other, we can do this.
Cause it's not the type of thing that you normally do.
I mean, I don't walk around my house naked.
Well, no, I mean, you got children.
Right.
But I do anticipate, now, first of all-
I definitely do too.
I do walk around my house naked.
If I am naked and I need to get something from downstairs,
there are, and I'm like, I don't wanna put on anything.
I'm gonna go down and get, I got two boys and it's just,
but it isn't a regular thing, but I do anticipate
when the kids move out that it will become a normal thing.
I like that idea for me in my house.
I mean, why not?
And then there's a pool and you can,
I mean, I'll jump into that pool naked at the right time.
Yeah.
If the right people aren't looking out the windows
or the neighbors aren't home or something.
There's a couple of vantage points from other yards,
I think, in my pool, but.
It was everything I hoped it would be.
It's not that there's that much to report.
It's just, and I think that's the point,
is that I had this idea.
And again, I'll have ideas of how I want things to go.
And, but it was, and it started off really rough
and I didn't let it get to me.
And even in day two, when like things cleared up
and I'm wearing the sweatshirt and we're out in the river
or we're back just being in our nakedness,
did everything go exactly how I had written
in the novel in my mind?
Of course not.
And Christy knows this about me.
And so there's certain points where she can see
the eyebrows crinkle a little bit,
or she can hear a little intonation
is something I'm saying,
and she can graciously redirect my,
me to let go of my expectations
and enjoy what we have and what we're doing.
But it was, and so that happened at a couple of points,
but overall, it was just such a beautiful experience
of us just being together with very little agenda
and very little clothes.
Did you, it was something I noticed
that is unusual and like I noted it and Jessie noted it
was how quickly I adjusted to vacation,
which is not an easy thing for me to do.
Now we worked, you know,
we don't typically travel in October unless it's for work.
And so putting something in the middle of October,
which just the way that the year is stacked,
it tends to be our busiest time.
And what happens when we travel is it isn't like anything,
we do less, it's just, we do more
and it gets pushed on either side of the trip., it's just we do more and it gets pushed
on either side of the trip and it's just the schedule
gets really packed on each side of the trip.
And we were working, when I got home on the Wednesday night
before leaving on a Thursday morning, I was so worn out.
And there's so many things kind of going on in my mind
and things that I could latch onto and worry about at any given time.
But something like when I got off the plane,
I kind of made this decision.
I was like, I'm not gonna worry about anything work-related.
I'm not gonna think about the stuff that I could be doing.
And also, I'm not going to obsess
about all the seven different things
that I could see in Key West.
I've got these people here who know the place,
they've made reservations,
I'm just gonna be along for the ride.
And I actually had one of the better times
that I've ever had because I-
Wasn't in charge.
Well, I wasn't in charge,
but also it was like,
there's certain things that I didn't see.
I didn't go into Ernest Hemingway's house,
which I could have done, right?
As an example, it's like,
so everybody says, good, take the tour.
We didn't go.
And then I was like,
hey, leave something to do the next time you come.
Whatever, who cares?
It's very hard for me to be in the moment.
And for some reason,
because we were working so hard right up until that moment,
I found myself being able to do that more than I ever have.
And I was like, am I reaching an age where I can do it?
Is that what's happening?
It's crazy, I was thinking the same thing.
On our drive back the next day, I told Christy,
I was like, you know what, for the past two days,
I don't think I thought about work.
And it was, I mean, we had internet in the room.
When you're walking around and outside of your cabin,
we didn't have any service, so that helps.
But yeah, I mean, it felt like one of the,
cause usually you go for a week long vacation
and it takes half the time to get to the point
where you're no longer thinking about the stuff.
And then as you're starting, as it creeps back
to when you're coming back into the real world,
you start thinking about it again.
You start thinking about the fact
that the vacation is over.
Right, so then there's like,
oh man, we gotta go home on Tuesday.
There might be one day of a sweet spot in the middle
where you didn't think of anything.
But yeah, I actually noticed,
I haven't thought about work the past two days.
I gave myself permission to do that
and I think I needed it enough.
And I wanted to provide focus on the right things.
And it was just, yeah,
it's kind of what you want a vacation to be,
even though it was only two full days for us
and a travel day on either side,
that even being in the car was nice,
cause it's such a scenic drive and everything.
So yeah, I mean, I definitely think that was my takeaway
is that with this particular trip,
you got the beauty of the ocean, the cliffs, the redwoods,
and it just bring, I would put it on that for me
that it brought me into this meditative state.
And apparently a good Floridian Island
will do the same thing if you're in the right circumstances.
It's nice that we're both having that experience.
It may be, it could just be,
we haven't traveled in a while.
Yeah.
Cause I just, I noted it and I was like, man,
I like, I adjusted quickly.
How do I make sure I do this next time?
I know, for real.
I mean, it's not easy, but.
But there's one house that has like,
it's called a bridge house.
You have to walk across the suspension bridge
across the Big Sur River.
And then it has two bedrooms
and then a kitchen and a nice living room area.
And there's a barrel sauna outside
right next to the river with a picnic table and bocce ball
and like these amazing rings of-
You getting a sauna?
I didn't rent that.
It was, this was the place I want us to go back to.
Oh.
And then if we bring other friends, there's like,
they created these standalone bedrooms
that are like super nice that like you could,
you bring some other people.
It's like, I definitely wanna go back and do that.
And October, that's the perfect time.
You get that rain, but then it goes away
and there's not all the fog coming off of-
We got lucky when we went in June.
Not a lot of fog.
Which is usually super foggy and it just, we got lucky.
But the thing that Christy and I watched in our downtime,
when we just couldn't go at each other anymore,
was this goop series on Netflix called Sex, Love and Goop.
I've seen the trailer.
So of course goop is the Gwyneth Paltrow,
it's not just wellness, it's all types of stuff
and it's what-
Just Gwyneth stuff.
Years ago she got flack for like saying,
oh put this egg in your vagina for a long time and-
Jade egg.
The jade egg and she got-
So you named your dog after it.
She got a lot of pushback for stuff like that.
And she did a mini series,
a goop series on Netflix, like a year ago.
That was a bunch of like, I don't know,
you spend a lot of money on something
that's very questionable.
It seems like that's kind of the reputation
with what she's putting out into the world.
But this new series,
she's not really the center of it.
And we watched the whole thing while we were there
and that's my recommendation.
But I wanted to talk through some of this stuff with you
because it's basically
a episodic docu-series on sexual healing
of real life couples paired with a sexologist.
Is that a sex therapist? I would've called him
a sex therapist, but they're-
Sexologist sounds more sciencey.
Sexologist.
Wanted to jump in here and give a clarification.
This is after recording everything
that you're currently listening to,
we had a discussion about goop in light of the fact
that a lot of controversy came to light
after we recorded me talking about that goop series.
And the controversy, I mean, controversy
is nothing new to goop, but I just wanted to say,
there's certain therapeutic practices that are platformed in the series
that people are pointing out are illegal in most states,
highly questionable.
The one that I know about specifically is not one
that I'm telling you about in this episode.
Right. But in general,
I just wanted to say,
I'm not endorsing any of these practices.
I don't know enough to do that.
And I hope you know enough to like use your own judgment.
I'm basically just saying,
this was a fascinating show to watch and be exposed to.
And it just got me thinking about some things
that I'm not saying are entirely right
or even entirely legal because I don't know.
So I'm just putting that out there
and framing this whole conversation with caution
that you need to be responsible for yourself
and how you apply any of the stuff from that series,
if at all, no endorsements.
And I'll add that if you didn't already know,
goop is not, it doesn't necessarily have the reputation
for being the most reliable or evidence-based source
of lifestyle and health advice.
You know, there's a number of things
that have come up in the past few years,
but we are entertained by the way that they go about things.
So again, whatever Link said, I agree with. This is not an endorsement. We were entertained by the way that they go about things. So again, whatever Link said, I agree with.
This is not an endorsement.
We were entertained by this thing,
but because of this recent controversy.
Whatever I said, you weren't listening to us?
No. Okay.
He agrees with what I said.
But we just want, we-
He endorses my non-endorsement.
We know how the internet is,
and we know that when you talk about something
that's controversial, people assume that is an endorsement.
We wanted to confirm that it is not an endorsement.
Now let's go back to it.
And so these are real people who like,
from all walks of life, you got old people,
you got a lesbian couple,
you've got people dealing with challenges in being intimate
or like they're being a mismatch in what drives them.
And then, so it's kind of like seeing
the therapeutic techniques
that they're experiencing firsthand.
And sometimes with multiple hands involved as I'll get to.
And it gets wild and really out there
in a couple of key places.
One that I'll tell you about,
but I really enjoyed the heart behind this thing.
I mean, Christie recommended it and said,
"'Hey, let's watch this thing."
And I thought, okay, this will be fun.
This might make us horny.
That's what I was thinking.
But then it was actually very eye-opening and educational.
Some people might describe parts of it as pornographic or it might make you uncomfortable, It was actually very eye-opening and educational.
Some people might describe parts of it as pornographic or it might make you uncomfortable.
But if you've been through sex temper,
I think you're probably be ready to check this thing out.
But I give it to these couples who are like totally
normal people with normal problems in their relationships.
And they're like super vulnerable in the stuff that they were
asked to do on camera what was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away
from your desk or your car in traffic well for us i'm gonna guess for some of you that thing is
hi i'm nick friedman i'm leo Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President.
And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect.
It's a weekly news show.
With the best celebrity guests.
And hot takes galore.
So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel.
But one of the things that one of these sexologists talked about was an erotic blueprint test that determines the way in which you best receive pleasure.
And this is something that like,
I was able to connect a few dots with this,
but I had not heard about it.
It's like a love language for sex?
Yeah, so the different erotic blueprints
are energetic,
sensual, sexual, kinky, or shape-shifter.
So energetic means you're aroused
by anticipation and yearning.
So it's like, it's not what is happening,
it's what's about to happen.
Like, am I ready for this?
And it's foreplay, but then sometimes it goes
into more of this like woo energy thing,
which I'll talk about.
Second one is sensual.
So you're turned on when all the senses are ignited.
Remember how many there are, five or six?
Like the vaginas in a candle.
Yeah, so like sight, smell, touch.
What are the other ones?
Rubbing, insertion.
Sound.
Sounds.
Taste.
The next one is sexual, which is excited by nudity
and or other traditional sexual characteristics.
A lot of this is associated with the sexy bits, you know?
Okay.
The parts that you're supposed to cover up on.
Like the ankles.
To be decent.
Angles?
Ankles.
I'm really into ankles.
No, I'm talking about the twigs, the berries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The-
Tunnel of love.
The nappy dugout.
Yeah.
As Ice Cube called it and something.
So, and that's the one that you tend to think about.
Like, okay, when sexual stuff is what I'm,
is at play when you're activated sexually.
Yep.
But only that stuff.
Kinky, aroused by taboo. And then shapeshifter is just all of the above. Yep. But only that stuff. Kinky, aroused by taboo.
And then shape shifter is just all of the above.
So Christian, I mean, it doesn't,
it's not a teaching series.
It's more like they're sharing this with the people
in order so that this one particular couple
could understand how they would,
how to kind of like a love language thing.
How do they like meet each other's expectations?
And like, she's putting one of them on a table
and then it's like, okay, based on your survey,
you're kinky.
And she's like, oh, I am.
And then he like gets out, she gives,
the sexologist gives her partner a paddle and he like-
And he's like, I'm not kinky.
He starts- I'm just a high school principal.
He was, I mean, his eyebrows are going up all the time
as he's like trying to like figure out
how hard does she like to be spanked with this paddle.
Right.
And then there's like the whips
and the thing, like the big thing
with the chains hanging from it.
And it's like, well, you don't whip the person with this.
You just slowly drape it on them
and drape it on her crotch.
And then you have the weight of these chains.
Just the feeling of chains.
I think she was like sensual and kinky,
if I remember correctly.
But then they switch up and they put him on the table.
I'm a golfer.
He wasn't like that, but like, I mean,
they gave him like Wolverine claws
to like start scratching down her body
and like a very, no blood was drawn.
Right, yeah.
It was very approachable.
It made Kinky approachable.
You're a big Wolverine fan.
It did make me think that I was a shape shifter
because no matter what I saw, I wanted to try. I could try that. But they put- That feels like the page I'm on so Wolverine fan. It did make me think that I was a shape shifter because no matter what I saw, I wanted to try.
I could try that.
But they put-
That feels like the page I'm on so far, yeah.
They put him on the table
and then the sexologist is like, you are an energetic.
And then he started like talking about like,
put your hands over the person.
Do you feel the energy?
And I'm like, okay, here we go.
I don't believe in any of this shit.
But then they started,
he started being touched in a way
that the dude had what is called an energetic orgasm.
He came in his pants without being touched.
He had a full, I don't know if he ejaculated in his britches.
Well, that's an orgasm.
But his whole body was shaking.
He was like, he started crying.
It was wild.
It really was wild.
And I didn't know this was a thing.
And then they're like, okay, yeah,
this is what you are and this is what-
What happened though?
Just hand placement without touching?
Honestly, I can't remember all the specifics
of what they did to him.
Maybe it was because of-
Nothing was vibrating,
like under the table that we couldn't see?
Nothing that I saw.
You'll have to watch it for yourself
if you wanna really,
I can't remember the specifics of what they did.
It was more about the result
and him knowing that this was his sexual love language,
his erotic blueprint.
But then the sexologist is like,
now let me show you where you can go with this, basically.
Since this is a way that you're able to get off
and you guys can learn that from each other.
Go stand next to a transformer?
No, just sit here and watch me.
And then the sexologist lays down on the table,
fully clothed.
Uh-oh.
And she's like, I'd like to introduce you
to my business and life partner.
And this middle-aged bald dude comes out
and he looks like a, I mean, he's got like a golf shirt on.
I don't remember what he had on.
What was his name?
I remember that, I don't remember,
like Raymond or something like that.
It was, but he looked like an evil Bond villain.
He had a, I wouldn't say that his head was bulbous,
but it was bald and all of his facial features
were kind of concentrated on the lower half of his face.
It's better that way.
So it's kind of, it was kind of like-
That way you can see, smell and taste things
that are all at the same time.
And he had a smirk, but he didn't really talk.
And then all of a sudden,
he starts putting his hands over his partner
and he never ever touched her.
It's like David Copperfield.
And it was kind of like this
super villain magician type thing.
And he had one hand, it was kind of, you know,
when Lord of the Rings, when Sauron kind of like
put his hand over the Palantir and like,
he had like, his hand was like,
it was kind of like he was drawing a connection
with Sauron out of that crystal ball.
And like his fingernails and his hand was like getting like
twiggy. It was like weird and like-
That happened on Netflix?
Like this dude, well, what he did was he did that
with his hand above her head and then-
She got her eyes closed?
Kind of over her crotch.
Oh, puppeteer.
And he looked like he was pulling on strings
like a freaking puppeteer. And he looked like he was pulling on strings like a freaking puppeteer.
And then she is just going crazy.
Like she is undulating, having a full body orgasm
all over this table.
All over the table.
Like she was writhing all over the table,
moaning and arching her back and putting her knees
in the air and throwing her legs all over the place. Good Lord. Anding her back and putting her knees in the air
and throwing her legs all over the place.
And he was never touching her,
but doing this thing that,
from my perspective, it was an elaborate performance.
Well, can I-
And I think so-
Having not seen it.
It was wild.
I didn't really buy it, but the other guy totally bought.
Well, here's the thing.
You know like, this hasn't happened to me recently,
but I've done it with my kids where you're like-
Doing it with your kids.
No, you're tickling your kids.
And then you've got them held down.
And then you get really close to tickle them
and they laugh because it's the anticipation
of getting tickled.
Like I think-
And they would call that an energetic response.
I think that it is, like, I mean, listen, I don't know.
I don't claim to know things
about metaphysical things anymore.
That's kind of where I'm at.
But the idea that there's literally like some energy field
that he's kind of running through her vagina
and then coming out of the top of her head
and literally, what was the guy in Pinocchio?
Geppetto.
He was geppettoing his woman.
I don't think that's what's happening,
but the idea is so powerful
that her mind is literally able to activate
a sexual response.
I totally believe that that could happen.
I agree with that.
And there was no denying that this guy who was in tears
and like took him hours to recover
from what happened to him on the table is,
it just seemed like it was a very extreme demonstration
that might, I don't know,
the waters got kind of muddied for me.
And you expect a little bit of that from a goop thing.
Yeah, it's gotta be a little goopy.
If not a lot. A little goopy.
You gotta get goopy.
There was a couple other goopy moments too
that those are great reasons to watch
and just for your jaw to drop.
But again, I have to recommend it
because the way that these couples were so vulnerable
and the sexual component to their relationship,
and one of the things that clicked early on was they said,
one of the sexperts said that,
you know, lovemaking is a skill.
It's like a craft.
And it was really cool for us to be watching it
and then to have all of this time where it's like,
okay, we don't have anywhere to be or anything else to do.
Just raining.
And so we can like actually embrace this
as something that we're, there's still a lot to learn about our own bodies
and about each other's bodies.
And I never heard of these classifications, you know?
Had you?
Energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, shape shifter?
Not in that, no, not broken down like that.
Right, and knowing that there might be a mismatch
to like the woman in that couple was like,
am I gonna have an orgasm at any point in my life?
Am I gonna, she said,
am I gonna have an orgasm before I have a baby?
Cause I think they were thinking about trying to have kids,
but like she kind of wanted to check that box, you know,
and as she should,
but I was blown away by just the vulnerability
and just how, because I haven't read a lot of those books,
which I'm sure you could get some of this stuff from,
it was a cool introduction to it.
And it has some sensational parts that really popped
that made it a lot of fun to watch.
We're gonna bring a sexologist in for sex timber 2022.
Maybe.
Right, I mean, I don't think I could fit
on this table right here.
I mean, would you lay down on-
You have to bring in a different table.
For a Netflix-
My head would go out that side,
my feet would be out this side.
Like, I mean, a lot of these people,
they will be like, I'm gonna do this on Netflix.
Like they would say that as part of it.
Well, they're getting paid.
I mean, probably a pretty significant amount.
You know, I was very cool.
What I will say, it's interesting,
we had very different trips,
but there are parallels even in this area.
And I think that this is, again,
this is typical of vacations for me and Jessie
and you and Christy, as you've described.
But I actually wasn't with Jessie
the entire week leading up
because she went to North Carolina
at the beginning of the week
and was kind of hanging out with her family there
and then went down to the Keys on Wednesday.
So I'm flying down on Thursday night.
So we haven't seen each other for like four days.
Oh, that's a good technique.
Send her early.
Well, she sent herself.
Had some business to take care of in North Carolina.
And you know, like,
I got in at like 6.30.
So she is, they're all ready to go out for dinner, right?
And so like Chris picks me up, but Jessie's there.
And like, she like steps out of the car
and she's like in her little black dress
and all made up and her heels.
She didn't drive up on a bike.
No, she did not.
And I'm like, okay, well, what time is dinner?
You know what I'm saying?
Because we have a little bit of time,
let's go to the hotel room.
And I mean, it was very intense.
And that's a great way to start.
Meet on the vacation.
Don't travel there together.
Now I'm not saying we had sex at the airport.
I'm saying we waited till we got back to the hotel room.
And then there's always this thing,
kind of what you were getting at before,
which is like, sometimes in a relationship,
if there's like pre-dinner sex,
sometimes you're less motivated after dinner, right?
You're kind of like, oh, well, no, we followed up dinner
and then proceeded to, I mean, it was like-
You hit a reset button at dinner.
And then it was like, it became a thing.
It was like, this is gonna happen multiple times a day,
the whole time that we're together.
And of course the whole dynamic that we talked about
during sex timber, where you have to kind of get yourself
into a place where you're willing to not care
about people hearing you and people in the room next to you
hearing you and that kind of thing.
But we got there very quickly and kind of maintain that.
And we didn't really talk, we didn't talk about it.
And we talked about how we were having a really great time
and how we were really connecting
and we enjoy being with each other.
But yeah, it was a really,
we were very in sync, much more than when we were kayaking.
I mean, I thought about trying to slip off
and have sex on the kayak considering
how well things were going.
Maybe that would have solved some problems,
but no, that didn't happen.
But yeah, it was a really good time
for that kind of connection.
But maybe, I mean, I haven't done the puppeteer thing,
so maybe I gotta watch this thing and figure it out.
Yeah, that's what I'm telling you, man.
So that's my recommendation actually for this one
is the goop, sex, love and goop.
And you know, I've told you what you're signing up for.
If you want, if so, if you're not into that,
you shouldn't watch it.
And it's like, yeah, you're gonna,
there's some eye rolly parts to it,
but it's like, I'll just take it with a grain of salt.
You don't have to agree with everything
in order to get something out of it.
That's what I feel about it.
Well, you know, that's one of the things I most enjoy
about sort of my post evangelical life.
Yeah.
As an evangelical Christian, there was, for me,
there was always this, I was in a very defensive
and protective mode with every single thing that I enjoyed,
every single thing that I watched,
every single conversation that I was in.
You're kind of always on guard for,
is this an, first of all, if you're with people,
is this an opportunity to witness to them?
But then when you're watching something,
you're trying to make sure that it's going
through the proper grid and you're classifying these people
as this isn't good, this is not Christ-like,
this is not biblical.
You're either in or you're out.
So yeah, everything was assessing that.
And there's an interesting thing with when I don't know.
Is it right or wrong?
Are you in or you're out?
And that grid doesn't exist anymore.
Can I do that or not?
So now it's kind of like, huh, okay.
But the interesting thing is it isn't like anything goes
and everything's good, but it's kind of like
I can watch something and just take it in and be like,
this doesn't have to change the way I feel
I think about this, but it might, you know?
And again, I don't believe the energy stuff.
I mean, it could be true,
but I don't know if there's a way to prove it.
I haven't experienced it,
but like being able to watch something like that
and be like, this is entertaining slash informative.
Maybe it'll spark something for us.
And I don't have to have this complex informed opinion
about why it's worldly.
That's one of the best things about my life at this point.
That just makes, I just, it's a lot,
there's a lot less emotional energy put in,
like putting things in boxes.
And I think that, you know,
since this is kind of like a sex addendum
to sex timber, you know, weeks later,
I do think there were ripple effects
in me and Christy's relationship from sex timber.
It's like really getting in that head space
where you're like, you're thinking about it.
Well, you and I are thinking about it and talking about it.
And then Christy and I,
all the four of us did in that one episode.
And then it, she's grateful.
I think she's glad that she was on the show
because it's part, it's one of the factors that led to us
having intentional intimacy and giving attention to that,
our sex lives and saying, okay,
that will actually be part of the mission
for this trip for us.
So I'm already looking back on sex timber
and being very, very grateful for it.
And I think there's, you know,
Christie's reading a book called Come As You Are,
which I would also recommend that book.
And so it's, you know, the wave has crescendoed,
but it's like, it's still moving us along
in terms of giving attention to it.
And also being, realizing that now that we've talked about it,
it's less and less weird every time we bring it up.
Like she's the one that's like,
and she put it in our text there.
She's like, look at this goop series.
I'm gonna watch this.
You guys should watch this too.
You know, it's like, I don't,
I think she could have done that before,
but maybe she wouldn't have,
maybe she wouldn't have identified that.
It's like, so, I think we are realizing the benefits
of having those conversations
and kind of bringing it to the surface.
Now, all that being said, if I had to predict
on the backside of our Big Sur trip,
is it this now we're having so much more sex.
It's like, no, I can already tell that it's like,
man, that was great and that was very concentrated.
And now we're kind of getting back to our normal lives
and our normal rhythm and our normal frequency
is the word I'm looking for, you know, of being intimate.
But again, because we talk about it differently now,
we talk about it more often,
we talk about it even more openly.
And so I think it was a good thing.
I'm glad we did it.
I'm glad we're still doing it.
Keep doing it.
I do think that that is,
you know, we talked about this during sex timber,
but I think it is worth repeating is just the idea that
just like anything that communication
and talking about something leads to enhancements
and progression in that particular area
of your relationship,
and that might be your sexual relationship.
Because I do think there is a, there's a tendency for,
I mean, I'm not a very routine oriented person,
but that doesn't really matter because there is a tendency,
you kind of get into things that are comfortable and I'm just talking about
in relationships in general, right?
If there's like, okay, well, this thing about you annoys me
or I feel hurt in this way,
but I just don't know how to talk about it.
I don't know how to bring it up.
And so years will pass.
And we don't really make, like we just accept
that this is the status quo.
And I don't know, my impression is that there are,
there's many couples and relationships
where there's issues like that
that relate to their sexual lives where it's like,
hey,
hey, we looked up and 15 years had passed
and we haven't had a meaningful sexual connection.
Not because we don't want to,
but because there's something maybe it's,
we're on a different page when it comes to the stuff,
the way that it was broken down or whatever.
And that's the thing that I loved about that series
is that these were not people that were celebrating
how great their sex lives are.
It's like, these are people with real challenges
and deeply rooted in certain case studies,
issues that go to the core of who they are as individuals
and what they're bringing to the relationship.
And they put all that out there.
And I think it's,
you know, I'm extremely grateful
for the experiences that Chris and I have
and I know you are with you and Jesse,
like things are going so well.
And that was one of the concerns that I have
with sex timber was like, I just feel like we celebrate
how much we have to be thankful for
and that we can build on knowing that there's so many people who,
like as you're getting at right now,
it's like they're in a different place
because of different reasons
that aren't their fault necessarily or most likely.
And it takes work and sometimes help to get through that.
And so I applaud those people.
And I think those are great examples
to kind of round out something
that we're not able to talk about when it's-
Well, I mean, it's just the intention,
the decision to go on that show,
which who knows what the casting process is or whatever.
But you don't have to go on a Netflix show,
but it might take, hey, like,
let's actually go see a sex therapist as a couple.
Like, oh, this is uncomfortable,
but what about the next 10 years?
It's just, it's anything.
When you need to talk to somebody about anything,
that breaking through that initial conversation,
it's just, again, it's just so much easier to not have it.
It's just so much easier to just have the neck tomorrow
be just like today.
Yeah, back burner it or no burner it.
But I mean, so when I was talking about like,
enjoying being naked and like embracing that,
it was informed by messages in that show
and just saying, you know what?
So I got to a point with Christy and I was like,
I think I wanna start an OnlyFans.
Okay, all right.
It's like, it can be both of us.
You can be in charge of the camera.
If you don't wanna do it, you can be in charge of the camera
and my face doesn't have to be on it.
I don't know, I could do an anonymous thing.
I think I could be an exhibitionist.
Hmm, okay.
I doubt this is gonna actually happen.
So did she.
But there are couples,
you know, there's so much independent porn right now,
and there are couples that for whatever reason,
because of whatever else they do
or just their own prerogative, they don't show their faces.
You know, you're gonna have, the tattoo could be a problem.
I mean, you have your wife's name as I do,
my wife's name on our asses.
So you have to put something over that
and then you've got the elvish tattoo
that you have to do something with that.
A lot of band-aid.
And you can't say anything.
You know, you don't wanna make any noises.
I use an accent.
You can use a French accent, you're good at that.
I mean, it's a natural extension of what we do, right?
Emphasis on the extension.
No, I don't think I will ever do it.
And I'm just, I was messing with her tongue in cheek,
but I don't know.
You got people, now you got people
who are legitimately gonna think
that you might start an OnlyFans,
but that's a good place to have people.
Don't go searching, I don't know how.
That's a good place to have people.
I haven't perused OnlyFans,
I don't know what the thumbnails show,
but don't peruse it on my account trying to find me
because you won't.
And it'll be really easy
because I'll be the guy wearing this sweatshirt
and nothing else.
Oh gosh.
Yeah.
Focus on the ducks.
Well, hopefully you learned a lot this week
and last week as we ended up just doing
sex timber all over again.
Hashtag your biscuits, tell us what type of sexual type
you are.
No don't, we don't wanna know.
No no wait listen, save it because I mean I have
every intention of doing sex timber again but I don't
know how it's gonna change.
We kind of already told the stories I think we might
have to just bring in some experts. I don't know man, I don't know. It kind of already told the stories. I think we might have to just bring in some experts.
I don't know, man, I don't know.
It's too early to say, but I'd really like to do it again.
I'll have learned a lot from my OnlyFans experience
to discuss. Yeah, right.
Talk at you next week.