Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Our Biggest Fears | Ear Biscuits Ep. 354

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

What do tiny demon girls, snakes, and Twitter have in common? They’re all things that scare us! #SpookySzn is here, so no better time for Rhett and Link to discuss some of their biggest fears. Find ...out why medium-sized crowds freak Rhett out and learn about Link’s potential DJ names. One thing’s for sure - after this one, you’ll never look at school mascots the same again.  Want to hear your voice on Ear Biscuits? Call 1-888-EAR-POD1 and we might just play your call on an upcoming episode! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link.
Starting point is 00:00:30 And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are going to be talking about the things that scare us the most. Why is it that we only get to be scared in October? I don't know the way culture works, but apparently if you're in the business of being scared, you gotta talk about it in October.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Man, you know, there's a holiday at the end of the month and it's called Reformation Day. Reformation Day. I mean, Halloween. Yeah, it's that time of year where- People in routine. People, I understand. If you're one of those people who is like
Starting point is 00:01:11 a little strange and like has something deep inside of you that's like a seed of darkness that at any moment could explode into like some sort of tree- You think this is strange? This is all people, man. Some of us embrace it. Somebody who hasn't like, who's not too religious, who's like, oh, this is my favorite time of year.
Starting point is 00:01:32 You know, this is for you, peeps. Love ya. Okay, first of all, let me just, I feel like there was some exclusionary language there. So I wanna backtrack over some of that stuff. The first thing being that- I want to other you. A little bit weird.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Calling these people a little bit weird. Incidentally, I just recently saw in some stats that were presented at the YouTube summit that- We can't shut up about it. I think more than half of, it is, I think it might be like the most popular subgenre of movies right now amongst the general public. Also, I think that everyone has a seed of darkness
Starting point is 00:02:08 inside of them. Some people have just made friends with it. Hence Reformation Day. And then what was the last thing you said that was exclusionary? Oh, you said not religious. Actually, I have always been a fan of horror movies, even, and I'm actually one of the things
Starting point is 00:02:24 I'm gonna talk about, I think my religious past plays into the way that I think about it. And some of the people that I know who are still very, very religious consider themselves very, very big horror fans, because I think it makes it that much more visceral and real. I'm just messing.
Starting point is 00:02:40 You know, some of the nicest, sweetest people I know are horror fanatics. Because they get it out. Just like some of the nicest, sweetest people I know are really hardcore heavy metal fans. Because when you've got a form of entertainment that is a release, like if you're into screamo or you're into like hard death metal,
Starting point is 00:03:03 the traditional understanding of that, culturally, is to be scared of these people. Putting a hole in your like body and then stretching it real far. Yeah, people who do that kind of stuff, in my experience, tend to be the sweetest, most well-adjusted people because they've, again, they've made friends with that side of themselves
Starting point is 00:03:22 and it's like everybody's got it in them. He's the nicest person I know. He must have a penile piercing. Yeah, those of us who have denied that that is a part of us, it's just sitting there and it has its way with us. We don't control it. You need to make friends with it so you can control it. When it's in there, if you don't make friends with it,
Starting point is 00:03:40 it controls you. It's like having a pet or having a predator that lives with you. Yeah, it's like a mogwai. Or a gremlin. Yeah, learn to embrace it. Which I was too afraid to watch. Always.
Starting point is 00:03:54 That's what, basically, ultimately, what I'm getting at here, what I'm implying is that you have yet to make friends with the dark seed inside of you. I think it makes you a little unpredictable and potentially a serial killer. I've made a list. That's the number one thing, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:08 you've made your list, I've made my list of the things that scare us the most. I guess I should put the number one thing on my list is that my doom seed will germinate. Like what's gonna happen? Yeah. You know? Everybody's got one. Also know I have this side of me that like,
Starting point is 00:04:24 that can be impulsive and not, you know, I thought about putting that on the list. Am I afraid of myself? Everybody should be a little bit. Yeah. Everybody has within them the potential to one day have a psychotic break and run down the street naked.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Everyone has the potential for that. Right, if you have a psych, then you could have a psychotic break. And my belief is if you are a heavy metal fan, you are the least likely to be the one running naked down the street. That's just my anecdotal theory. Channel it, release it.
Starting point is 00:04:56 What do you think about that, Jenna? Just, I know plenty of metal people, and I mean, I've seen them run down naked. Running naked down the street intentionally or as a result of a psychotic break? I'm just saying these are different things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably it's intentionally. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:13 There's nothing wrong with streaking. Yeah. In fact, I'm an advocate. Yeah, I'm due for a good streak. Do you know that- I need to get struck. I'm not gonna name any names here, but somebody that I know-
Starting point is 00:05:26 Bob. Who is currently in college, I was recently talking to them. Not my son, just in case you're wondering. And there's a tradition- My daughter? No. I'm not gonna let you narrow it down,
Starting point is 00:05:39 but it's not either one of our kids. But there is a tradition at many schools of streaking. There's an area of a campus where there's a tradition of streaking, like you run from here to here. Yeah. And I was on the phone talking to him and he was telling me about, well, yeah, I was like, what'd you do to celebrate your birthday?
Starting point is 00:05:57 He was like, well, we went streaking. Ha, that's great. And again, it's just like, that's something you do. And when it's intentional and it's not the result of a psychotic break, that's a different story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was about to mention names,
Starting point is 00:06:15 but I won't go in that direction. I was gonna make fun of a certain country music singer, but I like the person, I don't wanna make fun of them. Oh, I know what you're talking about. So instead I'll say, yeah, actually, Lily in her freshman year, you know, very early on, she reported that there was a streaking cavalcade. I think it's important.
Starting point is 00:06:37 She didn't participate as a freshman, but hey, she's a sophomore now, you know? Well, incidentally, in the footage that you uncovered from our college days that we show some of that on the Mythical Society, one of the videos is me and Greg streaking, not in any like place on campus, but in our apartment complex.
Starting point is 00:06:59 From the apartment, I said, if you guys will strip down naked and let me film you streaking, then I will join you guys in shaving my head. And then I was shocked to watch the footage because we did not try to frame it in such a way as to not show any junk flailing. And when I say we, I guess I mean me,
Starting point is 00:07:20 because I was filming. And so I was like, oh my God, I can't give this to employees to edit. Yeah, right. There's junk flailing. Yeah, it's pretty blurry. Yeah, I pride myself on having unblurry junk,
Starting point is 00:07:35 but I was not streaking at the time. It was not. I had very crisp junk. It was 1996 and you were using a handheld DV, and it's like the footage is 20 years old. So what do we wanna do? Let's get into this. Get into the fears. Cause I like it when we each have made our list and we can surprise each other.
Starting point is 00:07:52 This is more your jam, so you should go first. I'm gonna start. What scares you most? I'm kinda starting in more expected territory with demons. And- Okay, all right. Again, it is amazing how, first of all, they just keep putting out horror movies.
Starting point is 00:08:13 And my experience with horror movies is I go to watch horror movies with, now with Shepard, because he's the one that will watch them with me, Jesse, won't we go to the theater quite a bit. And we'll watch a horror movie, Jesse, won't we go to the theater quite a bit? And we'll watch a horror movie most recently, Barbarian, which I wrecked because I loved it. And if you go see a horror movie, especially if you go to an AMC theater,
Starting point is 00:08:33 what do they do before the horror movie? They show you 15 trailers, right? Of other horror movies. So every horror movie that's coming out. And then my typical experience is, because I tend to then go to Rotten Tomatoes to see, is this worth my time? Is this worth me and my son's time?
Starting point is 00:08:50 Is that eight times out of 10, which would also be four times out of five, they're so low ranked. Like these horror movies end up being in the teens sometime. You're like, man, that looked like it was gonna be so great. But the trailers really get you in the mood to be scared. Right? And I find myself consistently frightened
Starting point is 00:09:13 by the exorcism ones. And I'm not talking about the exorcist, I'm talking about- All of them. So there's a movie, I don't know what the name of it is. It's probably out now by the time we're talking about this, but they've been rolling the trailers and it's about this nun who is like studying,
Starting point is 00:09:32 you basically get the whole movie in the trailer, but she's studying exorcism amongst these males, who it was a men only like priesthood, Catholic priesthood training, and then it let her in to this class, not because she's gonna be a priest, but because she's doing, I don't know what the premise is, but she's in this class.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh yeah, glass ceiling. Cause I went, see, I went to the Jordan Peele movie and I saw this trailer too. Yeah, and it's- She's the only one who can do it. And then there's like this thing where her mother was a bit nuts and it turns out, well, her mother wasn't thing where her mother was a bit nuts and it turns out, well,
Starting point is 00:10:05 her mother wasn't nuts, her mother was possessed. And this demon has been trying to get into her for all this time. And it's in this little girl that they've got in the bottom of this like church. And the scenes are just chilling to the bone. And I, first of all, they do the classic thing, which has always scared me
Starting point is 00:10:25 is anytime you pair anything like scary and supernatural with a little girl. I thought that was gonna be a separate thing on the list. Scared of little girls? You're talking about little girls is not on your list? Little girls who are possessed by demons. So that is inclusive of, and again, this is probably some unresolved misogyny or whatever.
Starting point is 00:10:48 You see this little girl and you're like, oh, this is, she's not a threat. She couldn't do anything to hurt anyone. And then, but when the devil gets inside of her and she puts on a little dress and her head starts spinning around, it just, it gets me and I am so frightened by it. So you're really saying demon girls,
Starting point is 00:11:08 demon possessed girls. You're not just talking about demons. I mean, it's scary when they go into dudes too, man. It's just not as scary. Okay, okay, I get it. But let's go there. I wanna come back to demons in general, but let's keep going down this path.
Starting point is 00:11:21 So you're gonna see that movie? Well, I'm gonna look at the Rotten Tomatoes. Like all, I remember back in the day. I bet you it sucks. You got me to see The Ring with you. The Ring is good. There you're gonna see that movie? Well, I'm gonna look at the Rotten Tomatoes. Like all, I remember back in the day. I bet you it sucks. You got me to see The Ring with you. There's a girl in that. Well, and Jessie and I had that co-dream that I talked about on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:11:34 I talked about it on GMM. I had to go back and listen to that to really get the details. But then I have since not gone back and listened to it. But essentially, there was a little girl in a dream, in my dream, a nightmare, and I woke up, it was a little blonde girl, and then Jessie woke up from a nightmare
Starting point is 00:11:51 and she had been dreaming about a little blonde girl. And I swear that we had some little demon in our dreams, man. Now here's the thing. What do I actually believe about this? Let's go there because- Right, because I thought- That's the deeper question.
Starting point is 00:12:04 When you said demons, I was like, well, I was presuming that what you were going with here was like, these scare me the most in movies, like possessions and stuff like that, because it could be real. Like the spiritual realm, demons, possessions, this stuff could be real. That's what makes it real scary. Yeah, and I think that's what really ingrained it
Starting point is 00:12:36 in my mind as a kid was seeing the Exorcist trailer when I was, I remember the Exorcist trailer coming on while I was watching television and I felt like I had to get out of the room. I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no. It was overwhelming and because at that point- Hey, don't come through the TV, man. At that point, there was absolutely no question in my mind
Starting point is 00:13:00 that this stuff is real, right? It was like, of course, demons are real. Now we were in like a Baptist church at the time where it's like, nobody's getting possessed. I mean, maybe somebody's got like a demon of gluttony or something, cause they're going to the buffet too much. You know what I'm saying? Like the way that, but it's-
Starting point is 00:13:16 How many times has he gone back to the church potluck table? It's not a, there's not a, in the same way that there is in like a Pentecostal or a charismatic. Now, when I did go and work with Campus Crusade in New York City for the summer of 1998, we worked with exclusively charismatic churches.
Starting point is 00:13:32 So these are mostly black churches who are doing the inner city work up there. And I did witness an exorcism. Oh, there was an exorcism in the next room. Like a lot of like yelling and screaming and then like a girl went into a room, there was some yelling and screaming. Was this during a service?
Starting point is 00:13:55 Yeah, yeah. So there was a, you said it was a girl? Yeah, but it wasn't, she wasn't a little girl. Or a woman. She was a teen. Okay, it was a teen? Yeah, not quite as scary as a little girl. Or a woman. She was a teen. Okay, it was a teen? Yeah, not quite as scary as a little girl. She was in the service,
Starting point is 00:14:08 was she brought forward as this teen needs to be exercised. We were working at the church. Put her on the Peloton. It wasn't that simple. We arrived as it was in process and we heard stuff going on and then she kind of walks out
Starting point is 00:14:23 and she looks like she's been crying, which again, my personal, at the time. Let me just be honest with you at the time I thought no that's bullshit. She was that's not a demon That's what I thought at the time because I was like dude. I've seen two demons in the movie man She's not spitting peas. There's her voice didn't change and since then spitting peas Well anything you eat, you gotta spit. In The Exorcist, she spit, I mean, it's green. I don't know if it was peas.
Starting point is 00:14:50 I can't really remember. Oh, you're talking about vomit. Yeah. But clearly supernatural things happen. That's what makes it super scary. However, I have watched many exorcisms on YouTube because I'm kind of into it. Really?
Starting point is 00:15:04 There's a guy in South America who is pretty famous for doing exorcisms and there's a British YouTuber, can't remember his name, who went down there to investigate. I told you about this. When do you, yeah, when you tell me stuff like this, I act like I'm listening, but I'm going into flight mode. Okay, great. I'm in, or freeze mode. Here's the thing. I can't listen to this., I act like I'm listening, but I'm going into flight mode. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:15:25 I'm in, or freeze mode. Here's the thing. I can't listen to this. There's nothing to be scared of. There's also that- Are you, can you describe what this situation is when you're watching this? Are you like in a doctor's office waiting room,
Starting point is 00:15:38 just watching exorcisms before you go back to get your mole checked? No, just- Are you like turning all the lights off? In like your basement? Well, to be clear, I don't watch exorcism content on the internet to be scared because it is definitively not scary. What's it like?
Starting point is 00:15:58 It's fake. Oh, oh, okay. That's a point I've been trying to get to this whole time. Is that- No, but there's plenty of exorcisms that, even if it's not real, it's sincere. There is no exorcism that has ever been recorded on video that anyone is doing anything
Starting point is 00:16:20 that a normal person couldn't do, just acting weird. And that's why there's no evidence that any of this stuff is real. As far as, I've never seen any evidence that it's real. Yeah, but the girl who came out of the room, do you think she was an actor at that church you went to? No, she was being emotionally manipulated. That's horrible.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Well, is it really? I mean- Well, yeah. It is, it is- Hold on, hold on. What do you mean? It is horrible,? I mean, it is, hold on, hold on. What do you mean? It is horrible, but I'm saying emotional manipulation happens in almost every group of people
Starting point is 00:16:52 that you can possibly come up with. I'm doing it to you right now. It can be more intense. And I do think that there's spiritual abuse that happens in that. What I'm saying is that it's a charade that everyone is in on and everyone believes. It's not dishonest.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I think that that girl thought she was possessed. Oh, okay. And I think that these preachers who were doing it thought that she was possessed. It's not an act. That's what you believe about speaking in tongues. Yes, I know people who are charismatic Christians who could speak in tongues,
Starting point is 00:17:23 no longer believe in Christianity and still could speak in tongues, no longer believe in Christianity, and still can speak in tongues because it is, the human body is amazing. The stuff that we can do, our mind is so flexible, we can convince ourselves, we can hold two disparate thoughts at the same time. I'm not surprised at all about any supernatural experiences that people claim to have had.
Starting point is 00:17:44 And I'm still open to the fact that they might be real. And that's why it's still scary to me because I'm like, well, it might be real. And there's always gonna be a part of me that's like, it might be real. I'm just saying that I've never seen anything that would suggest that there is stuff actually happening that can't just be explained
Starting point is 00:18:01 by people's mind playing tricks on it. But hey, I'm open to it, I'm still looking into it. And that's why I watch, I'm just fascinated with religious culture in general, that's why I watch a lot of preachers on YouTube. And these guys who are exercising people, they're the most entertaining of all. There's one guy, his name is Bob,
Starting point is 00:18:25 Bob something, and he's got a cross and he puts it on your forehead. And he's got a Bible and it's like, this dude is frickin' intense. And again, everybody thinks that it's real. Bob probably knows that it's at least somewhat deceptive. But at this point he's in too deep. Your teen requested a ride, but time not from you it's through their uber teen account it's an uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers add your team to your uber account today Don't look at my list. I can't read from here.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I need glasses. Because this, I was making notes like when I was in the car and I didn't have time to pull up a new note. So this is my note with my potential DJ names on it. And I don't want you to see them. Oh wow. Because I-'t want you to see them. Oh wow. Cause I- I'm excited about that.
Starting point is 00:19:27 I have decided that I am revealing my DJ persona, including my DJ name at Mythicon. Mm-hmm. And I'm making a list and I, you know, I will say the first name on the list is- I'm making a list and I don't, you know, I will say the first name on the list is- Don't, don't, don't- I'm not gonna use it. So it's, I'm not gonna use DJ Dope Nuts.
Starting point is 00:19:54 I'm just not gonna do that. Sometimes you gotta just get through some names. Right, it's like, you know, a list is kind of like, no bad ideas until you've read them back. That's the first one? That's actually the first one. DJ Dope Nuts? Dope Nuts, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Nuts with a Z? Nuts with two Ts? No, but that two Ts and a Z might do it. I don't wanna do anything with an alternate spelling. That's one of the things that I've decided. So I'm doing a DJ set at Mythicon. If that's what's gonna put you over the edge to buy a ticket to Mythicon October, what is it?
Starting point is 00:20:30 29th? 28th and 29th. 28th and 29th, go to mythicontickets.com. You can experience along with everything else, the dance party that I will be DJing as my DJ persona. We're kind of bookending Mythicon. James and the Shame is doing something on the first night and you're closing out the, basically the dance party with-
Starting point is 00:20:51 I do have dope nuts. Whatever the DJ, I'm excited. I don't wanna build it up too much. No, you should, because that's how people get excited about things. Right, Mythicon tickets, if we're gonna, you know, we're reaching capacity. And you know what, if you can't make it,
Starting point is 00:21:09 we're gonna live stream, we've told you this, we're gonna live stream our stage show. But we're not live streaming DJ Dope Nuts. No. Or James and the Shanks. It's not gonna be Dope Nuts. Well, I'm just- Don't call me that. I'm using it- Don't call me that. I'm using it- That's not me.
Starting point is 00:21:20 As a placeholder. That's not me. DGTBD. It's better than, oh, DJTBD. Call me that. DJTBD? For now. TJTBD. Hold on, I mean. Or just TBDDJ. Well how does this relate to your fears? Well the first one that, it's just I made the list
Starting point is 00:21:40 for the things I'm afraid of under my DJ name list. That's what it has to do with it. Homie. Okay. Homie. I thought you were afraid of dope nuts. No. Dangling dope nuts.
Starting point is 00:21:53 That might be my first, I don't know, DJs don't release like mixtapes. Maybe they do. Maybe they do. Who cares? You make the rules, man. Who cares? Yeah, it's pirate, you know,
Starting point is 00:22:04 it's a lot of licensing involved. I mean, I gotta go with the most obvious thing that I'm afraid of at first, blood. I mean, I'm simply afraid of blood, but it's not like, yes, I'm afraid of the circulation of blood, the concept of blood circulating. Like I'm afraid of getting, like, if I try to take
Starting point is 00:22:26 my own pulse, I just hate that. I mean, and it's kind of ironic because it's kind of the sign of life. It's a really good sign that there's a liquid coursing through tubes in your body. But when I touch it and it like, it pulses and just, it makes me queeze. I just get queezed.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Now, once the blood starts coming out, you're also queezy, right? Because I think that's the most, that's the place where most people begin to say, okay. But if like if your finger was bleeding, I wouldn't faint. But if it was the result of a cut. If it was squirting blood. The circulation is worse than the bleeding?
Starting point is 00:23:08 Just the sight of blood, it needs to be paired with something. Like a visceral injury. A good Chianti? No, it's like an injury or circulation. Like it has to be paired with something. It's the one-two punch of this blood is associated with this thing, this movement through my innards.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Like I don't like anything related to surgery, like cutting people open, exposing the insides, putting the insides on the outside. That's gross. I think that's why I don't like dog erections. Now that I think about it. Because it looks like the inside coming outside? Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:46 I don't think many people like, I don't even think dogs like dog erections. Oh, they do. They do. Then why do they lick it? I don't know, they're ashamed. I didn't mean to go down this path, I'm sorry. Any, of course, there's the timeless story
Starting point is 00:24:03 of me opening the Barbie doll at Christmas and cutting my finger and then at my father-in-law's house, the in-laws house, and then running to the kitchen sink. And then the next thing I know, I'm coming to in my father-in-law's arms because my finger was cut. And it's like having a, like creating that like crevice, that ditch,
Starting point is 00:24:30 that like, oh, how deep is that? You mean cut? If you see a bone, oh my gosh, oh, I can't stand it. And like, so yeah, seeing gross shit like that in a movie is just, it just seems nasty. I don't like that stuff in the movie. And then I don't like seeing it in medical dramas either. Like I got a freaking turn.
Starting point is 00:24:51 By the way, I'm a huge horror fan, but I don't think I've ever watched like Final Destination. Right? Okay. Which is just people dying in a bunch of weird ways. I kind of get it and I would, if you asked me to go, I'll go to it and I'm not gonna get freaked out. You're more psychological. But yeah, I don't like, Gory is not,
Starting point is 00:25:13 I wasn't a kid that saw those gore magazines. Like, what's the name? What's that one that was always in every gas station we went to? Jugs. No, that was different. Anyway, I am not into that at all. I think most people would agree with you on this.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Because every time, sometimes you meet like a doctor, an emergency room doctor especially, and they just don't find any of this stuff gross. And they are- Yeah, right. Those are the people that we need. I can understand how you can get to that point or be at that point where it's like, hey, you know what, some people might find,
Starting point is 00:25:52 everybody can find something scary or gross. It's like, oh, look at this like black, like furry material coming through my epidermis on my forearm. Oh my gosh, that is just horrible. Not that gross. To somebody it might be. But it is an exposure thing.
Starting point is 00:26:11 I think a lot of medical students, the first time they see a cadaver, the first time they slice open a human body, the first time they're in surgery for real, I think you get a tolerance. I mean, not everybody just starts. I freaking deleted my entire list. Well, is that a fear of yours?
Starting point is 00:26:31 What the hell? How did you do that? I just deleted my freaking DJ name list with all of my scary shit on it. What? Shake it and then hit undo. Shake it? Yeah, and then hit undo.
Starting point is 00:26:43 What do you mean hit undo? Yeah. Undo. Hold on, there was a, I saw a capital P. Yeah, now shake it again. Shake it again. And undo again. No, now it says redo.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Redo. There's a P. Oh man, what was the P for? Oh, did you highlight everything while talking and then type over it? I think when I sneezed, I deleted my DJ name list. Well maybe they're not important. Well I can remember one, DJ Dope Nuts.
Starting point is 00:27:17 That's the only one I remember. I mean. Oh my God. All right, DJ Dope Nuts in the house. I don't need, maybe it's fate. Maybe I have to call myself DJ Dope Nuts now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well we also have TBDJ. TBDJ. TBDJ. Now this is a notes, huh?
Starting point is 00:27:37 Is it in your notes app? It's a notes app and it's in airplane mode right now. Oh, oh, great, great, great. Go to, okay, okay, okay. Stop right now. Take it off airplane mode. No, no, no! No, this is exactly the kind of thing that you would do. Go get your laptop. I'm sweating, man.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Go get your laptop right now. Copy the note into a new note. Yes. Copy the note into a new note. Why not? Call it something different. I'm not gonna do it right now. And then. It'll be okay. It'll be okay.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Oh, you're saying so I'll have the rest. I guarantee. Because I need to know what I'm afraid of. I'm 100% sure that as soon as this podcast is over, because you're a creature of habit, you're gonna take your phone out of airplane mode and you will forget. I guarantee you there's a 100% chance
Starting point is 00:28:16 you're gonna screw this up if you don't listen to me right now. Maybe I should just call myself DJP. That's the only thing on this freaking note now. You need to go get your laptop, because you also need it because you've got your list of fears. You don't remember all of them.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Can you go on without me? No, I think I can handle it. You know what, screw you. Screw you, man. Let's try that again. Can you go on without me? Here we go. Jenna's gonna get it.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Can you go on without me? I doubt it, go. I'm gonna get your life. Jenna's gonna get it. Can you go on without me? I doubt it, man. I doubt it, I really doubt it. I really, I, yeah. What's your level of certainty that you doubt it? I, you know, I'm very unsure. I'm, you know, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of going on without you.
Starting point is 00:28:59 That's one of my top fears. Man. Okay, let's see if this works, guys. This is happening. This is happening. This is my fear, man. You know, you work so hard on something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:15 And then you're like, you work on a document. And then you sneeze. You work on a document and then it doesn't save. Yeah. And if you're like using Google Docs or something, it's constantly saving. That's the best thing about using the cloud. And look, I'm proving it right now.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Well, the thing about Notes, unlike Google Docs, if you did this on Google Docs, you could just bring up a previous version. But Notes doesn't have that. So you get, I don't know if you should put important things in Notes. And I was using Evernote. And then Evernote was trying to sell me on all this other crap.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Evernote has previous versions. I'm not paying Evernote for something that. Evernote's constantly creating multiple notes of my notes. See this is, that's my thing about. Stickies aren't notes. I've never opened notes on my computer. Oh, hold on. You've never opened notes on your computer?
Starting point is 00:29:57 Oh, this might be trouble. You only use stickies? Welcome to notes. You don't use notes? Notes are way different than stickies. I use it on my phone. So now it's gonna go and try to sync. It's syncing right now, guys.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Yeah, but what's it syncing with? You've never opened notes, so it's not on here, bro. So go to iCloud. All iCloud. I don't think I'm logged in as my, is this the best podcast ever? This is dramatic. Stick with me.
Starting point is 00:30:33 This is a fear for some people. If you believe that we can get through this. Yeah, so do it. So what do you need to do? I need to figure out how I'm logged in. Well, hold on. To the notes app. What folder are you, are you on just on my phone?
Starting point is 00:30:51 Here we go. I'm in my iCloud account and I'm looking at, I know it's not there. So that's the iCloud account that's on there. So that's not your primary iCloud account. You need to go to your Mac address iCloud account and it'll have them. So this one's the Gmail.
Starting point is 00:31:07 If it doesn't, you really are screwed. You're gonna have to just start from scratch, man. That's the Gmail. DJ Scratch, that could work. I'm sure that's been taken. All right, so now I'm gonna sign in with my other account. Man, this is the most adventure we've had on this podcast in quite some time.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Someone's yelling at their computer right now of what we should do, I'm sure. Well, if it wasn't synced to begin with, it could be difficult at this point. Yeah, but his phone should have been syncing with it because it says iCloud and he's got multiple notes in there. I just don't know why his, I think his, the computer for some reason is not syncing.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Here we go. I'm in my other iCloud account. All right, here we go. This is gonna be it. I'm clicking on notes. DJ Names! DJ Dump Nuts is back, baby! Okay, now create... DJ TBD! Create a new note.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Don't, and don't read these. I'm not reading it. Don't read my DJ Names. Create a new note and just copy it over. I don't smell great anymore. That stress wets is really... Woo! Yeah, it smells,
Starting point is 00:32:26 more the right pit than the left pit. Now again, before you start- Turns out, I'm pretty scared of this. Okay listen, before you start referencing this, create a new note and copy it over. You have to do that first. Or the same thing- Copy? No, no, create a new note first.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Well, I'm gonna, let's not panic. I'm not, I'm just trying to- Paste. DJ names two is what I suggest. And I would do T-O-O, because it's cool. DJ names T-O-O. Yes. There we go. Crisis averted.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Oh my gosh, guys, thank you for hanging with me. I wanna let you know that I just lost six months off my life and now I'm reading a list of DJ names and I don't think any of them were worth the trouble. But let's hear your next, are we on? Like I just don't think. Next fear or are you finished on your fear? I just don't think DJ Cheese Profit is gonna,
Starting point is 00:33:34 it was worth all this trouble. When did this list happen, last night? Yeah, last night. You know, it's just kind of like, I don't know. That ate, what do you think? You know, I don't wanna know, I don't know. That, hey, what do you think? You know what, I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know. I think Profit Cheese with no DJ could be cool.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah, I'm working within the realm of not using the term DJ at all. Yeah, it's 2022, man, yes. I just wanna have a moniker. Yeah, it stands for disc jockey. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Well, now that this is here, I'm just gonna use this. All right, y'all, we're back in this.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I'm afraid of blood, I'm afraid of injuries. Let's move on to your next one on the list. Okay. You can shake your phone, and then that's the way to undo it. How long has that been a feature? A while. Oh, okay a feature? A while. Oh, okay. Man.
Starting point is 00:34:26 A while. As long as disc jockeys have existed. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? You just need a
Starting point is 00:34:50 nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. dot C-A slash Y-A-M-X. Benefits vary by card, terms apply. I am afraid of medium sized groups. Okay, you talking about as a person? Is this like, I don't think you're talking as like social anxiety. I think you're talking about like,
Starting point is 00:35:21 are you talking about in like as a performance? I think it's social anxiety. Oh, okay. Cause I definitely know if you're performing, if you're like addressing a group, a small group or a really large group, it's easy. But when you're addressing an awkwardly medium sized group from like a stage, then that's nightmarish.
Starting point is 00:35:41 And I know stages are very comforting to me. So- Separation. The, you know, I'm nervous before a stage performance. The nervousness melts away completely as soon as I'm on the stage and in front of the crowd. Like that's when all of the anxiety goes away. I'm like, now I'm here, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.
Starting point is 00:36:08 And of course, when it's like, I'm going out to dinner with, there's six people or eight people in this group of friends and we're all having dinner together. Like I'm very comfortable there. But if it's just like, okay, 16 people and now it's like, okay, we're gonna go around the group. Oh.
Starting point is 00:36:32 We're gonna go around the group and we'd like everybody to talk about the last time they really felt insecure or any, I mean, any kind of question where it's like, okay, now I've got- What parties are you going to? Yeah, that's never actually happened. I'm just imagining. And then you have to,
Starting point is 00:36:52 it's just this weird in between social states. A lot of our fears are things that never happen. No, but this has happened. I mean, there was a moment there where we were, pre-pandemic, where the people that, and this is kind of an LA thing. Intentional friendship communities. Yes, and like, you might find,
Starting point is 00:37:14 I went to a Thanksgiving thing. Oh, I don't wanna hear about that again. I've heard about it too many times. But no, but there was a, let's go around the horn and say something. Yeah. And it's not like it is at Mama Di and Daddy Mac's house when you go around the horn
Starting point is 00:37:28 and say what you're thankful for. That's, I mean, I'm not. This is like, you don't know it. Yeah. I don't know you, man. So you're saying it's at least 16 people and it has to be comprised of strangers to, you know, what? At least 50% strangers?
Starting point is 00:37:43 I think that that's part of it. And I think that, let me- Even if you're not doing a circle share, let's just say, I mean, are you afraid if it's just a mingle party? Okay. I've never thought about this. I'm thinking about it out loud, so help me process this.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I think that this is the problem for me. I have essentially two modes, right? I'm like a robot with two modes. This model has two modes. Okay. And one mode is I'm amongst friends and I am, it's a small group. I, and then the other mode is I am in front of a crowd
Starting point is 00:38:24 and I am performing. And I think most of my friends would be like, those are two very different people. I'm not like, I don't, if I'm hanging out in a small group, I don't draw a lot of attention to myself. I don't like start making jokes and like do funny things. I just, it's never been my personality to do that. Now, occasionally, if I'm like,
Starting point is 00:38:41 somebody asked me to tell a story or I've got something I really want to tell y'all, I'll kind of go into like a little bit of the performance mode, but I'm very rarely in performance mode or like, oh, I'm gonna throw, my dad on the other hand is like, if he's in a small group, he's like throwing out one-liners, making jokes all the time.
Starting point is 00:38:59 I make jokes and do one-liners when me and you are doing comedy together, on this podcast, on Good Mythical Morning, in front of a big group. And that is very much me. But then there's this middle ground where I'm like, it feels like this group is large enough for me to go into performance mode,
Starting point is 00:39:18 but I don't feel comfortable going into performance mode. So I'm staying in this sort of more intimate, I'm in an intimate conversation mode, but now I have to speak in a way that addresses more than 12 people. And it puts the robot inside me that is two modes, is like, which mode do we assume? And I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:39:38 And I think it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't have a medium sized group mode that I have like fallen into. I'm either performing and you're supposed to look at me and you're supposed to listen to the things I'm saying, or I'm just kind of hanging out and I'm sort of like, just a person that's just talking to other people. In the middle is where things break down for me.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Yeah, I'm trying to figure out if I can relate to any of this specifically. I don't know if I do. I definitely, like, I do have a sense of social anxiety, but it's always this like, for me, it's the expectation. It's not being in the mix. It's leading up to it. And it has to do with things like, am I late?
Starting point is 00:40:26 Have I forgotten what day this is? Am I late? Have I synced my notes? Am I way too early? You know, that type of thing. Is DJ Dope not a good name or a bad name? Yeah, I mean, sometimes you gotta say it, you gotta say it really a hundred times.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Every name, Cheese profit, cheese profit. So is it profit as in like making money off of cheese or a profit making proclamations about cheese? Because I hope it's the proclamations. Making proclamations, yeah. The, you know what I, if there's 12 people, okay, if you go to dinner, for some reason it never happens at dinner because what happens at a dinner table is-
Starting point is 00:41:04 You have a zone. You talk to the people in your zone, unless it's a private room and we're all going around and talk. Then it can become, then those dinners, that's what happened in that Thanksgiving thing. It seems like you don't really like the going around the table thing.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Going around the circle. No, no, no. I'm using that because what it does is it highlights the specific dynamic I'm using that because what it does is it highlights the specific dynamic I'm uncomfortable with. All the attention from a group of 12 to 18 people, or let's go 12 to 30. Well, I wouldn't say 30, because you need classroom size,
Starting point is 00:41:34 and I always loved being a class clown. I didn't have social anxiety. It's like 12 to 20, okay? 12 to 20 people, And if you're speaking, everyone is looking at you and looking to you. And then that's when I don't know if I, should I go into performance mode? Should I let these people know what I'm capable of?
Starting point is 00:41:56 Or should I just be a normal guy who's just being honest? And I struggle between to like, what groove do you fall in? Because the guy who's just being honest and isn't trying to be funny or perform or impress you in any way. Maybe a little funny. He's not trying to entertain you,
Starting point is 00:42:16 but the me that's trying to entertain you, I'm super comfortable there. I actually don't feel like one is less me and one is more me. I get that. It's just a mode for a less me and one is more me. I get that. It's just a mode for a setting. Next one on my list. Oh, you ready to move on DJ Prophet?
Starting point is 00:42:31 Well, we got so many. No, it's fine, it was just a funny way to move on. I was done, go ahead. Can I give my, were you done? I mean, that seemed like it was an exhaustive. I was done, it was just a little bit of a hard, as a guy who's an aspiring DJ, I was saying it was a little bit of a jarring transition.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Your thing is supposed to be like, let's usher us into the next thing. Smooth, smooth, smooth. So it's just something to work on. Thank you. Once you get your DJ name, I'm sure it'll all work itself out. I am, whatever it is, I can guarantee you,
Starting point is 00:43:03 no one's gonna be happy with it at first. Yeah, that's a good name. Right. That's a good name. Cause I think I've already picked it out. Okay. From the list. Okay. But I wanted to keep the list so I could always say, these are the ones that I almost went with.
Starting point is 00:43:19 So I'm glad I got it back. Are you gonna focus group this amongst like me? Well, I know you're not. Or is it gonna be just like? I don't, I'm debating that. I don't know. I really don't know yet. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 00:43:32 It's just too early to tell. All right. I don't have to be in the focus group. I'm just saying. I don't know yet. I could be a focus group. All right, I'll be honest. Dope Nuts was Christy's idea.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Which, you know, kind of puts it in a new light, right? Oh wow, okay. I know, right? I like it. Kind of a compliment. I'm afraid of cutting my dog's toenails. Oh, you can't catch me doing that. I had a fear of getting my own toenails cut as a child and, you know,
Starting point is 00:44:08 my stepdad had to hold me down by the ankles so that my mom could trim my toenails. And it was just, it made it a lot worse. Did he sit on you? No, he just- Was he sitting on you and then holding your ankles out in front of him? He just kinda grabbed my ankles. I mean, that made it traumatic, but I,
Starting point is 00:44:24 I mean, what else were they gonna do? Put me under? You know, take me to a groomer? How old are we talking? I'm not being, I don't know, early memory. I mean, still maybe, I still might've been six. I don't know. I'm not faulting them at all.
Starting point is 00:44:42 I think that's like, at a certain point, you gotta cut the toenails. I mean. I think you faulting them at all. I think that's like at a certain point, you gotta cut the toenails. I mean. I think you could send them out and have them run around and then naturally wear themselves down. Yeah, like on the concrete. At least with dogs.
Starting point is 00:44:54 I try to take Jessica for a walk. He's got this freaking nail that's like, I guess it's the thumb. The thumbnail. It's way up here. It's like, it's not, it's way far away from the rest of the paws. And that toenail will curl up in a complete circle
Starting point is 00:45:11 if you don't cut it. Yeah, it's back from when dogs had opposable thumbs. And it's very loose. It feels like I could grab that toe, like little vestigial toe and the nail and just like pull the whole thing off. And there's a little bit of a bone in it. But don. And there's a little bit of a bone in it. But don't.
Starting point is 00:45:27 There's a little bit of a bone in it and it just feels like it's not attached. What is it from though, for real? It grosses me out. Like what was it, what did it do at some point? I think I'm afraid that you cut them too close and I think, I was just afraid of, and I was probably really wiggly
Starting point is 00:45:43 and I did get some blood drawn. Oh, I was saying, what is that thumb? Oh, I thought you were talking about- What's the point of it? Like, obviously it's there for a reason. No, it used to be a thumb. What I'm saying- It's nothing now. It's vestigial.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Yeah. It was there for a reason. So dogs had thumbs? Or the ancestors of dogs had thumbs that they did stuff with? They opened cans and stuff? They have a fifth metatarsal. Why did it move up? Because they didn't need it.
Starting point is 00:46:08 It's just like- We can run faster without this thing. And then it goes away. Like Jasper has them on all four legs, but Jade only has them on the front two legs. And future dogs won't have them at all. Jade doesn't have them on her back legs at all. Isn't that wild? Yeah, and then, you know,
Starting point is 00:46:24 by the time that our dogs evolve, there'll be hooves. It'll just be one thing. Dogs aren't really evolving because we're doing it artificially. I know, I was just saying hypothetically. Yeah. And then whenever I snap the thing to cut their nails, Jasper yelps even though it doesn't hurt. It's just the idea.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Cause he's just like me and I feel for him. But I don't like sending my dogs to the groomer cause they smell a lot better when I wash them myself and it's like a special thing we have. So I don't wanna send the dog to the groomer just to get their nails trimmed. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic?
Starting point is 00:47:03 Well for us, and I'm gonna guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show. With the best celebrity guests.
Starting point is 00:47:18 And hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. Sean, we would take him to the groomer to get his toenails cut. Along with being groomed. Right, and he bit the freaking-
Starting point is 00:47:39 He bit the groomer, so he's not allowed to go to the groomer. Yeah, so now you're in my boat, man. Don't bring him to me, because that's what I'm afraid of. I think I'm gonna let him run. I'm afraid of cutting toenails. I'm not afraid of cutting my own toenails.
Starting point is 00:47:52 For the record. Oh, you got over that. I got over that. Yeah, when you're in control of it, it's way easier. I'd much rather cut my own toenails than, I got a pedicure one time. Ooh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Jesse was like, you've gotta try it. It triggered me, man. And I was Jessie was like, you've gotta try it. And I was like, yes, that brought it all back. I went to- What part of this do you enjoy? This is torture, it's ticklish, I'm laughing the whole time. I didn't laugh at all.
Starting point is 00:48:15 I mean, my toenails- I cried inside. You gotta get, like, they bring out special extra tools to get through my toenails. You know, like, oh, we were not prepared for this. Bring out the wall system, you know, wall with an H. I saw a, I think it was a TikTok of this like feisty Chihuahua put in a sling,
Starting point is 00:48:37 like picture like a hammock type sling and there's four holes where the legs go through. And he's just like growling the whole time. And he's like growling and like trying to get to them. But he can do nothing. Yeah, and then they're just cutting the toenails and it's like, it's good for everybody. They should put you in one of those at the pedicure place.
Starting point is 00:48:53 It's like, you know. My feet are coming out of it. I'm growling all the time. It's like you're right there in the middle. Barking at the lady. What are you afraid of? I'm afraid of snakes. And this has gotten, I realized recently that this is-
Starting point is 00:49:06 I'm afraid of snakes too, I can't believe, yeah, that's on my, I'll put it on my list. It's affected me deeply and okay. But you hold the, I'm, on the show, I'm a lot more afraid of snakes than you are. This is a weird complex fear and let me, I'll elucidate. Number one- Because you hold Craig. I'm not afraid of, I'll elucidate. Number one. Because you hold Craig.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I'm not afraid of, I'm not afraid of a snake. I'm not afraid of, if I know a snake is there, I'm going up to a cage, somebody hands me a snake. I'm not, I'm a little bit scared the whole time that like, even when holding Craig that like, I've seen those videos where they just, they just reach up and bite you and their little teeth mark get all over your face and stuff and you bleed like crazy.
Starting point is 00:49:46 I don't like the idea of that. And so I'm a little bit scared the whole time, but not too scared to touch them. And I have had a recurring dream for many years. Haven't had it that recently where I'm walking through some environment, usually tall grass and there's snakes everywhere. And this ties into the way my fear has manifested itself
Starting point is 00:50:08 in real life. Now, growing up in North Carolina, we spent a lot of time in the woods, next to the river, next to the creek. We would walk indiscriminately through the woods without ever thinking about snakes. And you know what? We saw snakes.
Starting point is 00:50:24 We'd be swimming in the river and we'd look over and there'd be, like, I remember down in Keith Hills at the bottom of that last spillway, there was a bed of, I think it was probably water snakes, I don't think it was moccasins, but like, I'm talking 40 snakes slithering on top of each other like Indiana Jones. Total Indiana Jones.
Starting point is 00:50:40 We would like stick a golf club in there. And they were long. They were big. And they could long. They were big. They were big. And- They could have been six foot long, easy. And I stepped on a water moccasin one time when moving the canoe and jumped away and he didn't bite me. But what I have found is that I cannot enjoy hiking
Starting point is 00:50:59 in California. Really? I can't- Because of rattlesnakes. Yes, but then I went back to North Carolina last year and was walking through the woods with Jessie and I realized I was constantly thinking about snakes. Really?
Starting point is 00:51:17 And I was like in this super focused, like looking around and being like, don't step on a snake, don't sneak up on a snake. And I'm like, why am I, why has this fear manifested itself? Now, hiking in California, when you go up in the mountains, over the summer, I went hiking four times in a row,
Starting point is 00:51:36 I saw a rattlesnake. Four, like four hikes in a row, I saw a rattlesnake. But they are reclusive and you gotta really get them cornered for them to do anything to you. There was one that had his head like on the trail and the rest of his body, which was weird and like an ambush situation, but he kind of slithered away. I don't know why this has, I don't know what happened.
Starting point is 00:51:59 I don't know what happened to me. I don't think about, I'm so afraid of snakes and when I go hiking, I just do not think about death to add because I want to enjoy hiking. Well, I want to enjoy it too, but I'm thinking about snakes. I think my level of compartmentalization is like super human.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Like I think that might be my superpower. Oh, what if you'd be called DJ Compartmentalizer or just the Compartmentalizer. Actually, that sounds like a show on ABC. Like stars a teenager. Like a teenager doing an adult job. Solving, solving. He like talks directly to an angel.
Starting point is 00:52:39 He has to be solving crimes though. Yeah. But he's like, he's doing it through his expertise in like storage equipment. Yeah, he just owns a storage facility. The compartmentalizer. I'm afraid of snakes too, man. I'm afraid of spiders.
Starting point is 00:52:55 I'm afraid of bugs. I'm afraid of lizards. I'm afraid of any little thing that like creeps or crawls or has multiple legs. Fuck multiple legs. I had a lizard drop the tail on me. He dropped the tail? You know how if they panic,
Starting point is 00:53:12 they can just drop their tail so it'll start squiggling around and they run away from it? Just separate from their tail. They have an ability to snap their tail off. This was, you know those, you know the big- I didn't know they could snap it off. I thought it had to be pulled off.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Well, I don't exactly know the mechanics, but I've always, here's what happened. I was in the garage and I just cleaned the garage. I was very proud of myself. And I was like, man, and I'm like spraying like mint. You know, you can do like mint spray to get insects from keeping, so you don't have to like do like pesticides.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Oh, like ants and stuff? Yeah, any kind of bugs, you know, I'm like, I'm sucking up, I'm like sucking up all kinds of, I'm just going around and sucking up little spiders and I know people don't like it when you kill spiders, but you know what, I kill spiders, I kill, if bugs get in the house, I kill them. Sorry, I'm that guy.
Starting point is 00:54:04 And so, and you know what? You're a maverick. The best way to do it is with your shop vac. Just suck them right up. Yeah, surely they probably die slowly inside of the shop vac, but I also don't care. I bet there's a lot of eat in there. And so I think they make a little community of friends
Starting point is 00:54:20 before they all die slowly. But I suck them up in the thing. Just reverse it and just blow it into your neighbor's yard. That's what a shop vac can do. I care about my neighbor more than I care about the community of insects that live inside my shop vac. Here's the thing. I was looking at my amazing immaculate garage
Starting point is 00:54:38 and then all of a sudden I saw one of those lizards and it was a big daddy. Sometimes they get real big and he was doing the thing where as soon as he saw me, he played dead. Now, let me be clear, I don't kill lizards. It's just- Are you fine with picking them up? Nope.
Starting point is 00:54:55 I don't. But now, as a teen- Me neither. As a teen and younger, I killed lizards, I killed snakes. I mean, I killed squirrels and rabbits too. I would BB gun, I was a little terror. And we did eat them sometimes when we could convince my mom to cook like a rabbit in the house, which we did one time. She like braised a damn rabbit.
Starting point is 00:55:19 You bring it a little, did you bring the tail of the lizard to Jessie and ask her to cook it? No, I didn't. So this thing's staring at you and then- But I don't kill any animals other than insects now. I have evolved. Okay, it's plain dead.
Starting point is 00:55:32 It's plain dead, but I like, I can't, I'm not gonna touch this thing. Cause they bite, man. They bite and I'm scared of them. They look like a snake with legs. Yeah, I don't tell. I got the broom. He was not even responding to the broom.
Starting point is 00:55:43 He was like, I'm so committed to this. Oh wow. But then it, like the third stroke got the broom. He was not even responding to the broom. He was like, I'm so committed to this. Oh wow. But then it like the third stroke of the broom, he woke up, panicked and went right back into the like the little crevice area where the other broom was. Just leave him alone. And I was like, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Cause now when I'm coming down here in the morning to do my stretches, I know that you're hiding over there and you're gonna run out and bite me on the nose. Or something worse. He wouldn't have stayed there. And so I took the back end of the broom and started poking back there, trying to get him to move. And he is, like, I see him and I'm not trying to poke him,
Starting point is 00:56:15 I'm trying to scare him. Flush him out. To get him out of the garage. He does a maneuver and then all of a sudden, bam, I'm looking in two different places because he's done his thing. The tail broke off right at the base. And this was a big sucker. His tail was three inches long.
Starting point is 00:56:30 His tail breaks off and begins to do this acrobatic dance. You know what, it worked. Oh my God, this is horrifying. I'm focused on this. This evolutionary adaptation worked because I didn't see where he went. I was too focused on the trick. And that thing moved.
Starting point is 00:56:48 When it detaches, it just keeps wriggling. For three to four minutes. Wow. Three to four minutes. And then I was afraid to touch it. I left it there for a day because I didn't have a Kleenex. That is so disturbing.
Starting point is 00:57:03 And you know what? I know that like what other animals, I mean, I'm afraid of all those little things. What else? I know that you're afraid of bees. I'm not afraid of bees. I'm not afraid, I don't know what it is. I'm not afraid.
Starting point is 00:57:17 I just believe I'm not gonna get stung by like a yellow jacket, a bee, especially a bee. I am not afraid of bees. What about a wasp? Uh, I'm not gonna sit there and eat lunch with a wasp. They're demonic. I'm not gonna mess with a wasp. But like a bee or a yellow jacket even,
Starting point is 00:57:38 like those little yellow jackets that come around your food, but they don't sting you, man. You can't handle it. Hold on, the little ones, that's different. You can't handle it. A real yellow jacket will sting you and I've been stung multiple times. I know, I'm talking about the little things,
Starting point is 00:57:50 the little ones that aren't actually yellow jackets, but they're yellow. I'm not scared of those. I'm not scared of those. Yes you are, and you're afraid of bees. I am afraid of bees. Yeah, I'm not afraid of a bee. Now, but I'm- A bee can land on me and I'll keep eating.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Not to the point- Because you don't put that energy out there and then the bee won't sting you. That's not my experience, man. And then honestly, if they do sting you- How many times you been stung by bees? Not that many, no, not that many. I've been stung by several bees.
Starting point is 00:58:14 That's because you're being erratic. No, you think they're interpreting? No, no. Yes! I'm saying that like there's multiple times- You're threatening them. I'm a bee friend. A bee landed on me. I love bees.
Starting point is 00:58:24 And stung me. Because they don't have multiple times. You're threatening them. I'm a bee friend. A bee landed on me. I love bees. And stung me. Because they don't have multiple legs. I wish I wasn't scared of bees. I really believe in them. They have arms. They have arms, y'all. And you're also afraid of bats. Is that on your list?
Starting point is 00:58:40 You're deathly afraid of bats, dude. You didn't put it on your list? Well, it's not a comprehensive list. We've gone through the animals, I think. Yeah, yeah, snakes, bats, bees, spiders, lizards. Multiple legs. I asked Lando before I dropped him off this morning, what is he afraid of?
Starting point is 00:58:57 And he said, and this was a big one for him, he's afraid of mascots. And I was like- That's a common fear. It's a common, I'm like, why are you afraid of mascots? He's like, cause I know there's a person in there and I'm like, but they don't talk. And he's like, yes. And he said, and their facial expression never changes.
Starting point is 00:59:17 It's like, it's a silent, it's so creepy. Like mascots are freaking creepy. I was like, oh, you know what? I should be afraid of mascots. I'm gonna start being afraid of mascots too. That's a good, cogent argument, sir. This is what it's like to have Link as a dad. You come to him with a fear and he just adopts it.
Starting point is 00:59:36 As opposed to helping you with it. I am now afraid of mascots, man. I find mascots creepy. I think that if you don't find mascots a little bit creepy, then there's probably something wrong with you. Or you're a Disney adult. But I think that you do, most kids when confronted with a mascot will cry hysterically.
Starting point is 00:59:57 And I think Lando's past that point. He's not gonna- I don't know if it's the majority. I mean, at Disney World, no, not the majority. I mean, when you're really young, I'm saying like a mascot that you don't recognize. Lando is not really young. He's 12. No, no, I'm saying,
Starting point is 01:00:15 but he's not gonna cry at a mascot. He's just like, I don't, yeah, I'm not interested. But he's not gonna cower from a mascot at this point. There's a little bit of cowering. Well, maybe you gotta get a mascot costume and find out. Maybe I gotta put him in one. That is the way that you overcome a fear, is become the thing that you're most afraid of.
Starting point is 01:00:34 He's gonna be like the best college mascot ever. I'm Batman. And he's like, I used to be very afraid of this. You should be the next Batman. The beard won't work. Bearded Batman, not gonna happen. Did you say what you're afraid of, Dax? I'm afraid of tweeting, dude.
Starting point is 01:00:51 I'm just freaking afraid of it. There's a lot of evidence. And it's like, there's just these few times that I will tweet, and I'm not talking about like a retweet or like some sort of promotion, I'm talking about like expressing myself and like using, like thinking about things and writing it down. You know, I actually think I'm afraid
Starting point is 01:01:11 of writing down thoughts. Like I hate doing that. Yeah, because they get lost sometimes. I hate writing things down. I hate email, but I'm afraid of tweeting because the few times that I take a risk, it's just like, it just leaves everybody scratching their head and criticizing me.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Yeah, that's the internet. And I don't blame them. That's the internet. You know what, because I always learn that, you know what, you're right. I'm afraid of actually having a thoughtful discourse with the open internet. Oh, is that what you're intending to do sometimes?
Starting point is 01:01:43 Because that feels different than the way you tweet. It doesn't feel like this is the beginning of a thoughtful discourse. It doesn't, some of the things you tweet don't feel like an invitation to discourse. It's just like, I don't know what. Not discourse. I don't know what series of events
Starting point is 01:01:58 led to Link tweeting that. And it's so tough. I mean, it's so tough to know how to, like there's so many things that like, my, I mean, you think about all the issues in the world and they, you know, the people who care about the things they care about, if they like you, they want you to also care about it,
Starting point is 01:02:17 especially when it's something that's like, if it's like an issue that people need to champion because there needs to be change. And it's like extremely intimidating to me. So it's like, yeah, to take like the serious route here, it's like, I'm really afraid. I don't know. It's just like, it just, it racks my nads, man.
Starting point is 01:02:38 To like care deeply about things, but to not know how to like do it on Twitter. It's just like, there's something, about things but to not know how to like do it on Twitter. I, it's just like, there's something, and it's, some of it is the perfectionism thing and like not wanting, you wanna be able to anticipate criticism so you can take care of it yourself and not let other people do it. Like as a perfectionist, you know,
Starting point is 01:03:00 there is this fear of criticism. So I think that's part of it. But then just like even tweeting goofy shit, I feel pretty paralyzed on that front. And I think I'm okay with it. I think I'm just, I don't feel like I'm less of because I don't, except the times when I do and then I realize that I shouldn't. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Maybe I should just delete Twitter. I like it. I like lurking. You probably shouldn't delete it. I'm not gonna. You should probably not follow 4,000 people. You should probably undo that at some point because you got a lot of,
Starting point is 01:03:42 I mean, I had to go through one time many years ago because we are just- Jenna helped me with that. Oh, how many do you follow now? Oh yeah, I helped you unfollow things, yeah. Yeah, I don't know how many people unfollowed. Oh, so you reduced the amount. I reduced the amount.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Because we used to follow everybody who followed us. Yeah, and then some of them were taken over by really weird accounts. Oh. Yeah, you were following some really weird things. Yeah, I think that the, I completely understand the fear and you're definitely not missing out on anything
Starting point is 01:04:15 by not tweeting. And your life is probably simpler because of it. But because it's like a part of our, it's expected to be part of our occupation. And that's what makes it kind of squirrely. Especially when it gets to like, why aren't you saying something about this? And if you don't, that automatically means
Starting point is 01:04:38 you don't care about it. That's not true. And because I do tweet, I mean, I go through phases where I'll tweet a lot about it. That's not true. And because I do tweet, I mean, I go through phases where I'll tweet a lot about stuff and then I go through long periods of time when I don't tweet. I'm currently in a relatively active Twitter phase. And you do get this thing where, oh, okay,
Starting point is 01:05:03 I said a couple of things about this and so now I need to said a couple of things about this and so now I need to say a couple of things about this. And then of course, there's another conversation that happens on the mythical level, on the corporate level, right? Because we're a brand and we, it is part of brand responsibility and just part of our personal-
Starting point is 01:05:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we're very connected to that, especially when it's things that, like the stuff that I'm talking about, I'm actually really grateful that we have this, we have the mythical account where it's like, we are involved in saying, yes, we do want to say something. Well, and to be clear.
Starting point is 01:05:39 And there's a way to say it that like, it's not, all the pressure is not on me to figure it out. We have a great social. But I agree with it. We have a great social media team, but the vast majority of things that are said when it comes to sensitive topics or issues that are not just, hey, go watch this thing or here's a joke. We are very, very involved in crafting those messages.
Starting point is 01:06:04 So- And I like that system. And sometimes- And it's not, hey, you do this for me. Especially if we've taken the time to craft a message for the main account and then I'll just retweet it. Again, because it's just like, hey, this is me saying something about this because this is me and you saying something about this.
Starting point is 01:06:25 But mostly, you're so right because just getting something a little bit wrong or even saying something wrong unintentionally, like, oh, I actually misinterpreted this or what I said could be so easily misunderstood, that's the internet. Everything I say in life can be easily misunderstood. By me as I'm saying it.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Right. You maybe you just shouldn't tweet. It's fine. I'll tweet and then Mythical will tweet. It's fine. We don't all have to tweet. Yeah, I know that. I know that.
Starting point is 01:07:03 So this is a healthy fear, probably. Well, now I have to prove you wrong. I have a fear of getting sick. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Or just something going, or being injured in some weird way. I'm a hypochondriac.
Starting point is 01:07:27 You've never had a big sickness. I've never had a big sickness. You've had some big injuries. I've had a weird collection of annoying maladies. So like the number of weird things about my body that are just inconveniences, you know, okay, yes, I've got psoriasis, I have a bad back, I don't have a chin,
Starting point is 01:07:56 that's not really one of them. There are multiple things I can't, I'm not thinking of right now, but just, in fact, I remember going through like, starting at my head and going all the way through my body and thinking about the weird things that had happened. Right, like your elbows are like weird shaped.
Starting point is 01:08:10 That's, yeah, but also I have arthritis in them, and that's one of the reasons that they're shaped like that because they're inflamed on a regular basis. They're not inflamed right now, but they were inflamed in the past, and so they like swole and they just stay that way. And so, and I've got this weird shoulder thing or whatever. It's like, I can go- You lost sight in one eye?
Starting point is 01:08:26 Yeah, exactly. I've had weird things happen. Due to stress? But nothing that is life-threatening and nothing, the back at times becomes life-altering. And I think it is the times that my back has been serious enough to be life altering that I'm like, oh man. I mean, I'll get into a car and begin settling into drive.
Starting point is 01:08:57 And this happened the other day when we got into a car and I, when we went camping, when we went camping with Stevie, and I was driving my FJ Cruiser, and as you know, there's not a lot of room in the back seat of the FJ. They kind of forgot what people were shaped like. And so I had to move the front seat up to a place where my knee is right against the dash.
Starting point is 01:09:22 And I said to you- Right when you got in, yeah. If we are in a wreck, my femur will snap immediately because it's like exactly the width of this thing, right? Or, and we know a guy growing up that was in a wreck and his femur went through his hip- Stop it, stop it! Out the back of his butt.
Starting point is 01:09:44 And he's ended up having, as you can imagine, serious problems for the rest of his life. I think about these things to too large of a degree because I flirted with chronic pain and chronic inconvenience. And then I just think about, oh man, I'm so fortunate that I haven't had to deal with physical things that cause,
Starting point is 01:10:10 make you have to change your life. You have to do things in a different way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I just have this- Body trauma, man. Fear of getting sick, getting an injury. And if I start, if I find a mole that looks weird
Starting point is 01:10:30 and then I gotta make an appointment, I gotta make an appointment with a dermatologist and then I'll be thinking about it kind of nonstop, like obsessing about it until I can go and talk to a professional and they can tell me that it's okay. And that has gotten better. I really talk much about my hypochondria in my therapy,
Starting point is 01:10:47 but just the process of therapy has made me better at dealing with it, I guess. But yeah, that's a constant fear. And I get it, man. If I were you, I'd be scared too. But you don't worry about this at all. You don't have any health. No, I have this belief that, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:11:11 I just don't, I don't believe that something's gonna go wrong in like a moment to moment way. I have a belief that like, when I get cancer or when something really bad does happen, I'll be like, okay, yeah, I knew it was gonna happen. I wasn't gonna waste, but I'm, and I didn't make a decision to not waste my energy not worrying about it.
Starting point is 01:11:35 I'm anxious about plenty. It's just not one of the things. It's just not my thing. So it's like, I'm glad that's not on my list, but it totally makes sense why with like, you know, you have a debilitating back injury at a young age and then it's like, okay. But I also think it was just-
Starting point is 01:11:55 What else is gonna happen? Hypochondria is genetic, my mom's same way. And the way that you process stuff, like knowledge, like it's like, I feel like I'm able to like be told something and then if I, again, the compartmentalization, if I don't want that to trickle down into like, what are the ramifications of that potentiality for me.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Like I try not to ruminate. It's not that I find myself not ruminating on that type of thing. Yeah. It's just how my brain doesn't work. So I'm good with it. I'm good with it. I have a couple more.
Starting point is 01:12:42 I'm not gonna mention one because I'm cutting it. Okay, all right. And I'm gonna just go to, I'm gonna give a quick shout out to being really afraid of forgetting something really important when I'm packing. You know, you're on your way to the cruise ship. I've never been on a cruise. Or the, you know, you gotta on your way to the cruise ship. I've never been on a cruise.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Or you know, you gotta drive an hour and a half to the freaking airport. It's like, man, do I have, I boiled it down to like, you know what? I get in the car and I start driving and I ask everybody in the car, including myself, it's like, do you have your ID and do you have your phone? If you got those two things in modern civilization, you'll be okay. And maybe do you have your ID and do you have your phone? If you got those two things in modern civilization,
Starting point is 01:13:26 you'll be okay. And maybe do you have the charger for the phone so that you don't, you know, if you're not at a place where you can buy one, you got the phone, the charger, the wallet, and like, you know, an enema. An enema, that's important. You know, if you're traveling
Starting point is 01:13:44 and if you just really get, you know, that can really put a stop to the enjoyment of your vacation, if you know what I mean. Uh-huh. Or your trip. So I'll leave you with that one. That feeling, man. I've forgotten something, I know it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Generally, it's commonly called the fear of missing out. Thumbnail! I will say that I have a difficult time. I'm surprised. I wouldn't say that this is debilitating because I'm able to enjoy myself in many different circumstances, but I am always, without exception, thinking,
Starting point is 01:14:30 if I'm doing something fun, I'm thinking, yeah, but I could, there's something else that could be more fun. That sucks, man. You know, and like, did I make the choice? Is this thing that I'm doing right now the right choice? When I, and this manifested itself on the road trips that I took with Locke this past year,
Starting point is 01:14:56 which I planned and chose the destinations and the attractions that we would stop at. And if we were at one place, I'm evaluating the experience in the moment and thinking to myself, okay, this is pretty fun. I'm having a good time, but we could have gone to the other thing that I considered going to.
Starting point is 01:15:17 And I wonder if that's more fun. And I think that this is kind of what drives me almost at like a, you know, a core fundamental level is always just thinking maybe this other thing, maybe this other thing will be the thing that is truly fun. Again, I can have a great time
Starting point is 01:15:39 and enjoy myself in the moment and I'm getting better at being like, you know, on the road trip it was, hey, the main thing here is that you and Locke are getting to spend all this time together and you could be stopping at the world's largest ball of yarn, which incidentally we didn't stop at. Or you could be going to McDonald's
Starting point is 01:15:59 and you can enjoy each other's company and that's the more important. I definitely relate to like that. If I'm the one who came up with the itinerary or made decisions about something that then there's like choices, it's like, what am I missing out on? That's like, it's on me.
Starting point is 01:16:13 But I don't find myself thinking, what did they do? What did so-and-so do this weekend? I gotta go even though I don't, you know. Well, and Shepard and I had this conversation recently when I was taking him to an appointment and we had a little time and we went in to get some coffees from this place
Starting point is 01:16:37 and they had a macadamia nut latte. Okay. And macadamia nut milk latte. And I remember we had macadamia nut milk on the show and we had liked it, I thought. And he got like a regular coffee or something. And then we're walking and he's like, "'Yeah, that seems like the kind of thing
Starting point is 01:16:55 "'that you would get.'" And he was like, "'You always have to try something.' He says, "'I like to just get the thing that I know that I'm gonna like. And I was like, yeah, that is my personality. Living in Los Angeles, you know, tonight is date night for me and Jesse.
Starting point is 01:17:15 And we're gonna go to some restaurant that I've never been to. And we always like to go to a new place, even though it increases the risk And we always like to go to a new place, even though it increases the risk of you not having a good dinner. Because if you go to a place that you like, and you go back, you know you're gonna have a good time. But there's just something about the unknown
Starting point is 01:17:37 of maybe this will be better, maybe it will be different in some way, and that ends up winning out every single time. And I don't, it doesn't always lend itself to a good experience because if you get- But you had to know, man. If you get what you want, it's like what Shepard said,
Starting point is 01:17:56 it's like, I'm gonna, he's like, I am gonna take the time to drink this thing. I'm gonna waste the time and the calories on it. I'm gonna, I want wanna enjoy it, you know? So you a FOMO having mofo. Yeah, so I don't know, I think there's a balance. But I'm always thinking about it. Don't be afraid, put your fears to rest.
Starting point is 01:18:17 Hopefully we've helped, at least in commiseration. Oh, those guys are afraid of that? And look, they have a podcast. Yeah, well, and next week, we're gonna hear from you. That's right. We're gonna get more specific because we're gonna be talking about the supernatural spooky-
Starting point is 01:18:37 Disturbing experiences. Yeah, it might not be supernatural. It might be like the time a guy, you know, tried to get in your house or something. I don't know. We want to hear the scary stuff. Yeah. Because it's October, right?
Starting point is 01:18:53 And because it's 1-888-EAR-POD-1. Of course, by the time this comes out, we already have the ones for the next episode. But you can always call in and let us know what you think about what we're talking about now so we can play it at the end of the episode. Follow us on Twitter, not to see me tweet, but to see the Mythical account put prompts out that then you can call in.
Starting point is 01:19:18 So there you go, hashtag Ear Biscuits. Give us a rec, man, for the road. Oh yeah, I'm enjoying a book right now. I won't say I'm reading it because I'm listening to it. Shoe Dog. It is the autobiographical story of the founder of Nike, Phil Knight. And it's just a fascinating classic, you know,
Starting point is 01:19:41 American entrepreneur, I can't say that. Does it rhyme with manure? Yeah. Story. And the guy, he's a good writer. He's like a super well-educated, well-traveled guy that the way he frames his experiences is very fascinating. It's funny in places.
Starting point is 01:20:00 It's inspiring in other places. It might end really horribly, but I don't think it does because Nike seems to be pretty big. Ha! I haven't gotten to the end of the story, but I think it works out for him pretty well. Shoe dog. Shoe dog.
Starting point is 01:20:15 I just turned my phone back on, dude, and I synced my notes, and I have a note called P with nothing in it, and I have a note called P with nothing in it. And I have a note called DJ names and it's got all of this in here. And then I don't have a note called DJ names too. So all that was for nothing. What?
Starting point is 01:20:39 I don't know. I don't know. I got it right here, man. I don't even know what to say. Next week y'all. Hey Red and and Link. This is Micah from North Alabama. I wanted to tell you what scares me the most, and it's a little, I feel like it's a little
Starting point is 01:20:54 irrational. When I was a kid, I used to be fascinated with books about the Titanic sinking, and I had posters and books. Also, I was fascinated with the Loch Ness Monster. I realized that it was deep bodies of water with large things in them. That's what actually really scares me to death is this kind of great unknown and the deep water that that really scared me. I've got goosebumps right now. Hey guys my name is lily
Starting point is 01:21:25 i'm from oklahoma okay i have two things one is pretty normal dolls freak me out i don't know why i've never had any creepy experience they're just so freaky and the second thing that's a little weird is like crabs and lobsters i've had multiple nightmares where a huge crab like crawls under my blanket and i wake up and i start like kicking and it's so scary i don't know they're just so freaky okay cool love you guys bye hey right link it's ryan from richmond virginia on my way home but i just wanted to just finish and listen to your latest one and uh what scares me the most has got to be heights. I'm also afraid of people intensely smiling and staring at you. Hi, my name is Alex Ramsey.
Starting point is 01:22:15 I'm from West Virginia. And the thing that scares me the most is pregnancy.

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