Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Our Wedding Regrets | Ear Biscuits

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

Could the guys get any more alike? In this episode, Rhett & Link talk about their weddings and what they might have changed, as well as realizing a crazy coincidence. Plus, what are their irrational fears? And yes, they are quite irrational. Find millions of used and new cars on AutoTrader.com! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. This episode is sponsored by Auto Trader. See a car in that movie you just watched? Well, you can find it on Auto Trader. Shop millions of new and used cars on Auto Trader, shop millions of new and used cars on Auto Trader. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett.

And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're going to talk wedding, wedding regrets, and some other stuff, because you sent in some voicemails, and of course, we're gonna respond to them. Thank you for calling us. You can do that. 1-888-earpod1 And we will hear your voice. Let's hear somebody's voice. Yeah, let's start.

Hey Rhett and Link, this is Sierra. I love the podcast. I wanted to get y'all's thoughts on something because my wedding is in six weeks and I really admire y'all's marriages. They seem super strong. So what is one thing that you either wish you had done on your wedding day and didn't, or one thing that you're really glad you did that made that day feel a little extra special?

Thanks, love y'all. Love you, Sierra. Love you, Sierra. Congratulations. I'm so excited that you're getting married. You're asking the right questions. To the wrong people. We got married so young. It's been so long ago.

24 years and 23 years ago, we got married. We were different people. In some ways. And we different people. In some ways. And we were the same in some ways. The more you change, the more you say the same. But does anything come to mind for you? Well, one of the things I've always said about my wedding day that I would have done differently

my wedding day that I would have done differently, is somehow I got into this situation where me and Jessie were standing there, just having people come up to us. At the reception? Yeah, and we had 700 people at our wedding. So it was a very large wedding. Oh man, yeah, I mean, I had almost 500 at my wedding. We both had big ass weddings.

And. Cause we invited like the towns. Yeah, it was. The whole town. And it was like, you know, there was a lot of people there that it was just anybody and everybody at the wedding, and a lot of people that I didn't even know that, like... Even Jessie didn't know, just like Jessie's family knew. You know, it was just a lot of people.

So you had a receiving line. Yeah, and so what ended up happening, and I've always been a people pleaser, but I was probably at, like, my height of people pleasing when I was 23 years old, when I got married. And so I felt an obligation to be like, I have to say, as long as there's people coming up to us, so we didn't eat.

Yeah. We didn't get any food. We never said, oh, this is our day, this is about our relationship starting, or our marriage starting. Yeah. And I'm gonna be like, obviously these days I would be like, okay, all right guys, we're gonna go sit down, and I would have no problem saying that, but just

something about being this young guy that didn't know, was afraid to say something. I just kind of sat there and just literally just let people come up the whole time. We did like the formal parts of like the dance and the stuff, but then it was just getting in the limo and leaving at the end of the night. Nobody jumped in and said, hey, you don't need to do this.

No. Right, because it was working. Everybody got to see you. It was basically like a funeral, like a wake. What do we call that when you're standing beside the, not the funeral service, but the reception, whatever that is. People just, people file in and everybody,

everybody one at a time gives their condolences. You did that for your wedding. You did a funeral thing at your wedding. But we definitely had the same vibe of, we were young and clueless and we didn't, we didn't have any peers. I was the first of our entire friend group or any, any semblance of peers to get married.

Christy and I were. So we were just like, all the wedding planning and everything was like, how are we supposed to do this? It was very traditional because it was, well, there's a way to do this. You know? You get this many groomsmen, bridesmaids, you do this thing, you have the rehearsal and you have the rehearsal dinner, and then you have, then the next morning you have the breakfast, and then you're supposed to go and you're not supposed to see the bride. I mean, I still like that one. That's a good one. Where you don't see your spouse before the ceremony if you're doing like that one, that's a good one. Where you don't see your spouse before the ceremony,

if you're doing like that type of ceremony with a reveal. But we were very Southern traditional, like by the book. At the reception for us, everybody sat down, well, everybody sat down at circular tables and it was at a different location. So we had to get a church, like the biggest church in Kinston, to hold everybody for the service. And then the reception was at a different place. Everybody had to get in their car and drive to a, like a facility that does this type of stuff.

Right. So everybody drove while we were taking pictures at the place. So then by the time we got there, everybody was seated at tables. And that was actually, that actually worked out for us, because then we were able to go around to tables and see people, and we were in charge of how long we want to spend with anybody moving on, versus them being in charge of how much time they're gonna spend talking to us,

and we're stationary. So, that's a better way that, I don't know if that was planned or whatever, but that's just how it worked out for us. Yeah, that was, yeah, I made a mistake. When you're that young, you're just kind of like, you're looking for people to tell you what to do, and you got a wedding planner, and you got all these like,

you know, so it's like, you did your wedding, you did the Fuqua wedding, we did the Kinston wedding. But you kinda got backed into a corner there with the, with the heaven to stand there. And to be clear, I was thinking about one thing, and I think that this is the net effect. Do whatever you please, according to your own convictions and beliefs.

I am not prescribing anything for you in this area. But I was a very committed evangelical Christian when I got engaged and got married and so was Jesse. And we weren't just, we didn't just talk the talk, we walked the walk, and so we did not have sexual intercourse with each other until the first night of our marriage. And as a person who had never had sexual intercourse

with anyone other than one time or a few times with my mattress, which I've talked about on Sex Timber, which I don't believe counts. No, you didn't lose your virginity. I lost my virginity to a bed. I had sex with no people. Sorry, I'm pouring water here. And thanks for the sound effects. And when you're in that frame of mind, I'll just be honest with you, it's the only thing that I was thinking about. You're a bit distra- yeah. I was in the exact same boat.

I don't care about the ceremony, I don't care about the food, I just don't, I get to have sex, I've been thinking about this my entire life, and I finally get to do it. And okay, and let me just say, there is something beautiful, there is a beautiful aspect to it, but there's also a bit of a having put that act on such a pedestal of

sacredness that comes from a particular worldview that I no longer subscribe to nor agree with that Kind of makes you see things a little bit different on that day And I don't and I think it I think you can really lose some perspective and I think I did Even I was in the same place. I was not like, just thinking about the consummation. But for me, there was like nerves associated with that.

It was very much built up, but like everything to me was built up. Like I was just, like I got sick the night before, not because I drank too much, which I might have, but I got this horrible headache. I was just like, there's a lot of anxiety because there's so many, all these perceived expectations. It was, yeah, it was what you said that I was not thinking of this being something for the two of us. It was something for the whole community. Like, this was a very public thing. It was a huge ceremony, and I wanted

everybody's expectations to be met. And I, you know, I deferred to everybody else. And so I was kind of a bundle of nerves, and so was Christy. So, then practically speaking, when it comes to finally getting, like, driving from Kinston up to Raleigh, we're staying at this hotel, before the next day we go, we immediately went on a honeymoon the next day, so like to Jamaica. So everything was like back to back to back to back. And so it got to the point where it was like, wait, wait, wait, hold on. In the middle of all of this like travel and becoming husband and

wife and seeing everybody that we know at once, and going through this ceremony, and feeling horrible physically. Oh, we're supposed to, we get to have sex for the first time. And it was just, it was a lot, you know? And I mean, just, we were, if nothing else, but well, because of all that,

by the time we got to the hotel, we were absolutely exhausted. Right, yeah. It's like you're getting ready for the Olympic trials, and you just do something else. You go hiking all day or something. It's like, it's just not... It just wasn't... There was no self-preservation in any of the acts.

Now, did you lose your virginity at the Embassy Suites as well? Is that where y'all stayed? Yeah. We might have been in the same room. So this is kind of freaky to think about this. We've never talked about this. So we had the same first girlfriend. We had the same first kiss, two different women. And we both lost our virginity at the same hotel.

In the same bed? Not the same bed. At different times. A year apart, there's no way we can figure out if it was the same room. Well, why wouldn't it have been? Well, Link, because it's a hotel. But if you're like, I want the honeymoon suite. You didn't get the honeymoon suite. We didn't have any money. What are you crazy?

We got a room. I remember it. It was a room. honeymoon suite. We didn't have any money. What are you crazy? We got a room. I remember it. It was a room. There was a bath, there was a bathtub. Mine was a little nicer. Well, NBC suites, man. It's all suites.

Oh. It's like, I'm, yeah. Well, it was nice. What I'm saying is, that's not the point, that we had sex in the same bed. Do you remember it being burgundy? I didn't see anything, other than what I wanted to see. But I do think this is an opportunity,

if the NBC Suites in Raleigh is still around, I kinda feel like, I don't know, I kinda feel like we might need to do a little campaign. Rhett and Link both lost their virginity at this hotel. We did! Is there some, I feel like we need to do some sort of promotion. I don't like the phrase lost our virginity because I didn't,

it wasn't an accident. Yeah, well, and if you need to. And I don't even believe in virginity. Okay. I think it's a construct. Both Rhett and Link had sex, see this is the problem, Rhett and Link had sex for the first time at the Embassy Suites in Raleigh. If we don't get the verbiage right on this, then it could really backfire.

I can't believe it's taken us this long to really camp out on. Rhett lost... no, okay, I don't want it to be about virginity. It's about marketing. We don't have to be... it does have to be perfect here. Yeah, colloquially we lost our virginity. Um, but not... And we can say it's in the same... Rhett and Link we lost our virginity. Um, but not, but... And we can say it's in the same... Rhett and Link each lost their virginity. But let's say...

At the Embassy Suites. Here at the Embassy Suites, there's a t-shirt that they sell in the lobby. I don't know, we should talk to the people at the Embassy Suites. If you're interested... I lost my virginity at the Embassy Suites. Yeah. And so did Rhett and Link. And so did Rhett and Link. And so did Rhett and Link.

Ah, that's even better. I like that. There it is. That's it. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm gonna guess for some of you, that thing is... Anabay! Hi, I'm Nick Fried, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is...

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So join us every Friday, wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. Hi, I'm PJ Voatt, here to tell you about my new podcast, Search Engine. Search Engine was one of the very best new podcasts of 2023, according to Vulture, Vogue, Time Magazine, and The Economist. We answer fascinating questions about business, tech, and history. Questions like, why are drug dealers putting fentanyl in everything?

Who should be in charge of artificial intelligence? How did ADHD medication get so popular so fast? Listen and follow Search Engine with PJ Voet and Odyssey Podcast, available now on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. ["The Wedding March"] ["The Wedding March"] What do I not regret? What went well on the wedding day? Completely changing your hairstyle the night before. Buzzing your head.

So I feel I am, I'm on the fence about this. So, I, first of all, in spite of the fact that I don't like my face without a beard, I am glad I shaved my face before the wedding because it was a chin strap. Much better to have my chinless face in the wedding photos than to have a chin strap. My thinking, which I still stand by, was I don't want to have a hair style in my wedding photos because it won't be timeless. I'll just be like, oh, it was 2000. There he was.

2000. Why do you want your wedding photo to be timeless? I don't know, it was just a... It wasn't super calculated. It was just like, I probably will think that this looks stupid one day. I will probably think that my hair looks stupid. But a clean shaven face and a buzz cut, there's always men out there that have that look. That's why you did it? You did it to clean up.

Yeah, yeah. You didn't do it for timelessness, did you? Or did you? No, I did. I was like, this chin strap is a very specific look. Look through history. You don't see the chin strap very often, for good reason. In fairness, I do believe that... Did you have a goatee? We both, yes, we both...

On your wedding day? Yes. Yeah, see, it was a mistake. We both changed our facial hair a lot at that time. So it's not like you had a signature look, which was a chin strap. You had no reason to have a goatee. You don't need facial hair for any reason. I had a goatee, but I did have a goatee. You don't need facial hair for any reason. But I did have a goatee.

Right, but I think you should have shaved in your face for your wedding. What does Christy think? I had it for the most part. I had it always, but you didn't have the chin strap always. Sometimes you just have a goatee too. Goatees were in. Goatees were in.

I regret the way I look without facial hair. That's a constant regret. It's not really a regret. It's just an unfortunate circumstance. I can't regret it. I didn't make the choice. Maybe I was born pre-mewing. I didn't get to mew during... I never got into a mew streak in my teens, and so I kinda screwed myself. But I couldn't grow a Mewstreak in my teens, and so I kinda screwed myself. But I couldn't grow a beard at the time.

It didn't connect. If I had a good beard at the time, I would've obviously had a beard. No one had a beard. If I was growing the beard that I could, I was growing all the beard that I could. Yeah, but that was also a style. That's not even what you were gonna say.

What were you gonna say that you regret? The thing I don't regret. Don't regret. Is the band, which I chose, Liquid Pleasure. Liquid Pleasure. So I may have been a virgin on my wedding day. But I was smart enough. What the band wasn't. I was smart enough to pick Liquid Pleasure as our band,

and they were excellent. They were great. Jessie, I wasn't in charge of much. And also, I don't like being in charge of things like that. I don't insert myself when people are planning events. I'm just like, you know, I like to eat, and I'll pick the band. Whatever. And I like to have sex afterwards. And that's really the main thing I was interested in. Liquid pleasure.

Liquid pleasure killed it. They were great. I mean, that's fancy schmancy when you got a wedding band. Having a live band. That was wild. I think we've talked about this before, but my father-in-law, well, the reason the wedding was so big is because of how many people Jesse's family knew. And I think that he invited all his employees, I think that's one of the reasons there was like,

maybe like an extra like 200 people at the thing at the time, he probably invited everybody who worked for him. Which is a choice. Yeah, but it makes for a really big, really big event and justifies things like having liquid pleasure. I mean, they were paying for it. I was like, yeah. They, he looked into, he wanted to,

because you know, he was a big Lionel fan as well. We were independently big Lionel Richie fans. There was serious talk of Lionel Richie. Could you imagine if Lionel Richie had played at my wedding? But Lionel- What was the quote? At that time, so this is 23 years ago,

it was $100,000 to get Lionel to play at your wedding. And I think that he's probably a lot more expensive than that now, I mean, just with inflation, but also just like, you know, he's even more- That would have been wild. Over rarity. So that was a no-go, but that would have been crazy. Like that would, if he had played at my wedding,

that would be, and when you talk about my wedding, the only thing I would talk about, I wouldn't even talk about sex, I would just talk about Lionel. Like I don't even know if I could have lost my virginity on the same day that I met Lionel Richie. I think I'd be like, we gotta wait till tomorrow. Which is too much for me to take.

So I'm glad that Lionel didn't play, but Liquid Pleasure, the choice of band, I got that right. Wonder how they came up with that name, liquid pleasure. Liquid pleasure. Well, that's swimming, right? That's like feeling good in a pool? I think you can interpret it how you want.

I mean, you go to a pool, sure. That's liquid pleasure. You're gonna have some liquid pleasure. If you're really thirsty. I think it's one of those things. Well, obviously a good drink is liquid pleasure. I think losing your virginity could be a little liquid pleasure. I also don't necessarily think that liquid means the literal liquid

as much as it means like liquidity, like the smooth liquidity of a situation. So we've got like, this is liquid pleasure. This pleasure could go anywhere. This is pleasure that assumes the shape of the space that it fills. Oh yes. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. That's, and that's how I interpret it.

As a band, that's what they do. Oh, what do you need? Perfectly fit the space. They seep into your cracks on your wedding day. Let's fill it up. Liquid play... We should have an event at the Embassy Suites. Yeah. Yep. It's a celebration of us losing our virginity at Embassy Suites, and it is played by Liquid.

I mean, are they still doing their? Now I will point out that a celebration of us losing our virginity is also our wedding anniversaries. So if we start celebrating our wedding anniversaries as when we lost our virginity, it's kinda like, it kinda kicks the relational aspect to the curb a bit. Okay, Link, they're still active. Liquidpleasureband.com, liquid pleasure.

The more you drink, the better we sound. Ha ha ha ha! Oh my gosh, they're still doing it, let me see. The more you, well, I guess that's their meaning. East Coast Entertainment. Liquid pleasure is getting drunk. How, okay. Okay, Book, Liquid Pleasure, I don't know if there's.

And there's a lot of them too. Oh, they're with Obama. Obama's in the band. So they did something with Obama. Now, they do not have a picture of me. They got Cornel West. I don't know who that is. They got Cornel West. I don't know who that is. They got Bush.

You got George Foreman. Howie. Howie, what's his name? Long? The football player. Well, they have, we're sending some, I mean, the show's not over. It's just that the fact that liquid pleasure exists. Now we know that.

Yeah, let's reach out to the embassy suite. There's no upcoming events right now. Lose your virginity here. Okay, we've got another voicemail. Hit it. Yo, Link and Rhett figured I'd put Link's name first. We've got another voicemail. Hit it. Yo Lincoln Rhett figured I put links name first. He deserves it today I have an irrational fear of flying

My question is do you have an irrational fear? For me, thanks. Bye and what advice do you have for me? Thanks, bye. And what advice do you have for me? Do you have an irrational fear and what advice do you have for him? Hmm, well first of all, my wife feels your pain. She has a fear of flying. She's doing the work and she's still flying, but it's not easy and sometimes they're harder than others. Hopefully she's not reading the news.

Yeah, she always That's one thing you don't need to do is yeah read about plane crashes. Don't do that. Like don't watch like the Boeing Documentary or there's probably a documentary. I haven't seen it, but but don't watch them question the Boeing CEO on Capitol Hill, which I made the mistake of doing. Oh, no. That is not my fear. I will say, I think the first step that I think is great is to categorize your fear of flying as irrational, because it isn't rational, because even with the news of like, okay, yeah, sometimes planes fall out of the sky,

but if you get into a car and drive somewhere on a daily basis or semi-regular basis, you're taking a higher risk than getting on a plane, right? So statistically, if we're following a rational process, you do know that. You really don't have anything to be afraid of. But trust me, I'm gonna share some irrational fear, so I know it... Just recognizing that it's not rational is helpful for me personally. Plus the seat is flotation. Right, yeah. And you got the oxygen mask.

I mean, what can go wrong? Your seat is flotation. Right? You gonna hit us with one? Well, my irrational, I'm sure I have more than one, but one of my irrational fears is travel related, but it's not the plane or the flight. It's everything around it, right? And this is kind of funny because I'm...

I've witnessed this. I'm leaving on a jet plane on Saturday. And again, the flight, being over the ocean, whatever, like I don't, I have almost negative fear when I'm in a plane about the physical circumstances. But the layover, okay? Okay, they can, missing your flight. So, and I have a layover in Paris. Oh.

And when we first set this flight up, I was looking at the itinerary and I was like, we got a layover in Paris that's an hour and 10 minutes. Okay? Tight. Okay, okay, okay. And so I told Sarah who booked the flights for us, I was like, I can't handle that, right?

Because if we have a one hour and 10 minute layover, do you know the only thing that I'm gonna be thinking about for the entire week leading up to my flight? Do you know the only thing I'm gonna be thinking about when I'm supposed to be sleeping on that red eye flight, the overnight flight from LA to Petty? I'm gonna be thinking about that fucking layover that's an hour and 10 minutes. Okay, whoa.

I'm just telling you, that's what I'm gonna be thinking about. Don't lash out. And it gets me, I'm getting sweaty thinking about it right now. You didn't change it? Oh, I did change it, yes. And you're still getting sweaty? I'm getting sweaty thinking about that at one point was only an hour and 10 minutes.

Okay, that doesn't seem irrational. Well. But the physical response is maybe not commensurate. I now have a three and a half hour layover, I think, is what it is, which, based on research, is adequate. If something goes wrong with the first flight, gets delayed, whatever. I had no wiggle room.

But I will contrast, if that was me, and I was like, yeah, an hour and 10 minutes, I'd be like, oh, that's great, super efficient. Because I assume that the best is going to happen. And this is definitely to a fault. This is a problem. It drives Christy crazy. Because it's not just about flights. It's about most anything. Because I don't like being confronted with having to mitigate or think about what could go wrong. It's fun and it's easiest to assume the best

and believe it. And I'm really good at believing it. So if it was at an hour and ten, I'd be like, oh, that's great. That's great. That means there's no sitting around in the airport. We get right off one plane and we'll get right on the other one. And it'll feel like I've gamed the system, and I will be excited about it the whole time. Which is wild, right? So, that's why I'm saying what you did was not irrational in that instance. Well, in that case, I looked up on the internet,

I was like, what is the recommended layover time for a flight from America to Paris where then you're going to Portugal? And it was like Google AI generated answer or whatever, which they're doing now. Two and a half hours? Two to three hours is what I recommended. And so, cause I don't know, again, the question of like, what customs, do I leave the airport?

I never know, I don't fly enough internationally to remember how it works and when do I have to go to customs and do I have to go through security again. But now I've got enough time, regardless of what the outcome is. But the reason I say it's irrational is because it's not something to be afraid of. You know what I'm saying? Okay, I will be with my wife, we will be traveling together,

and if we miss a flight, because we still could miss the next flight. Like I could still miss the next flight. I could also, like when we get in the car to go to the airport, I think about things like, what if we get a flat tire? Like, I'm definitely a contingencies person. Now, you know me, I'm very, I'm not pessimistic, I'm optimistic. I always believe that in like dreaming really big, I believe that things are very

possible. Like, I don't shy away from dreaming really big about things, and I think that things are going to happen. But when it comes to like logistics, I am thinking of all of the things that can go wrong in a way that is somewhat helpful, but definitely not helpful. It's not helpful to me. It's not personally beneficial

from like a wellbeing standpoint. Yeah. You know, and so, Jessie exacerbated this problem the other day. The other week. ["Dreams of a New World"] And I actually told her, cause I'm actively trying to, you know, I think I talked told her, because I'm actively trying to,

you know, I think I talked about that. I played that TikTok video where the comedian was talking about realizing that his, the way he thinks about getting off a plane is actually just anxiety. It's not trying to be a nice guy or whatever. It's just like being anxious about it. And I was, oh, I relate to that. So I've been really actively trying to recognize

when I'm getting that way and then to just relax, breathe, whatever. And it's actually been really helpful. But we were going, I don't even remember where we were going. We're flying somewhere recently and it's probably North Carolina. And we get to the Addle Park, and we're getting ready to go through security,

and Jessie is like, I don't have my ID. Oh no. And she said it with this look of, I know that this is going to freak you the hell out. Like I know that this is not to freak you the hell out. Like I know that this is not what you need right now, but I have to tell you, I don't have my ID.

And I will say, I'm very proud of myself, because when she said it, I was like, okay. And then I didn't even respond beyond that. And she said, you and Shepard go ahead and go through security and I'm going to talk to them. Well, she talked to the lady.

It's like, this is the thing, is that we have the clear thing. That gives you hope right there. And you don't technically have to have your ID, but lately they've been requesting the ID a lot at clear. And if they, once they request it, you have to have it. And so they requested it. And, but the lady was like,

it doesn't mean you can't get through. You just need to go talk to an agent or whatever. And so I was like, okay, so we went through, and it turns out, and I do not recommend this. Because you were like, if you don't make it, we're still going. Was that the plan? Yeah, because it was the kind of thing

that she could like get on the next flight or whatever, and it was, I can't remember what the trip, I don't remember what the trip was for, but we were, but it wasn't like I wasn't gonna go. It was like, me and Shepard will go because instead of rebooking three tickets, you know, she'll figure it out kind of thing. And it was her mistake so she can get out of it.

Did you think a little bit of that? You weren't gonna be helpful. Yeah, maybe. She had done the moving your license into a smaller purse for a date the night before, thing that happens. Oh, okay. And then not putting it back in your wallet,

in your big purse. She dating somebody? Which is very, I think she had a date, had a hot date with a tall man with long hair. And she, which apparently, once she has told, she's told this story to pursed people and it turns out that this is, I'm one of those people.

This is something that happens quite often. I only have one purse though. Yeah, multi-purse to people, I think. But turns out if this happens to you, they use, and it kind of makes sense when you think about it. It took her an extra 15 minutes. That's all. Really?

They take you to the side and they, like one of the TSA people starts talking to you and asks to see your wallet and to see what you have. Credit cards, the way that like, if you and me were trying to figure out who somebody was and what would we do? And they didn't have their ID. We would look at their wallet and be like, oh.

Every other thing. This person has seven other things in their wallet that say this name and it's the name that's on the ticket. It's probably them. That's all they do. It's not like there's some requirement. But was that because it was clear and they also had her like pupil and fingerprint or not?

It was, my understanding is that it was a totally separate process and it did not matter that she had gone through clear at all, that she was TSA pre at all. It was very simply, the thing that they're worried about is the only thing they really care about is that the person on the ticket matches the ticket, but actually that's a secondary worry to making sure that nobody does anything on the plane that compromises the safety of the other passengers.

So, I mean, even the worst case scenario if somebody's like using somebody else's ticket to go to another city in the country, like, first of all, that's almost assuredly not the case given the protocol that they're using, but also it's like, well, she still has to go through security, she still has to have her bags checked, she still has to make sure that she doesn't have

any weapons or whatever. But what about the return trip? Did you mail the driver's license? Yeah, the driver's license was mailed to where we were staying and then she just used it. But it turns out that- She didn't freak out. You know, and then she just used it. But it turns out that- You didn't freak out. You know, and when she came through, she was like,

she was like, I'm so proud of you. You didn't, you did not. Because you exploding would have accomplished nothing. I didn't flip out, I didn't get mad, I said nothing. Yep. And so, and the funny thing is- You weren't helpful, but you weren't hurtful. The funny thing is, is that I literally talked to

my therapist about how using my flight experiences as exposure therapy for this irrational fear of like the checking in, getting there on time, layover, what can go wrong, missing flights, all of the irrational fears associated with that. So when I was presented with this hour and 10 minute layover, it was an opportunity to embrace it and use it as exposure therapy,

but I was like, this is too much, too soon. This is too much, I gotta get a three hour layover. I gotta do something that makes some sense. Yeah, that's totally wise. My irrational fear, and I'm reminded of it a lot, it's going into a women's public restroom by accident. And I'm not just saying it for giggles. There's plenty of times when I'm in a public restroom and I'm peeing. In a urinal? In a urinal!

Well, you're not in a woman's restroom. And I think to myself, wait, is this a woman's restroom? And then I look down, I'm like, no, I'm at a urinal. It's like I've had a concussion and I've come to while peeing, and I gotta make sure that I'm not in the wrong place, even though I walked in. It's something about, like, I just walk in and I'm using the bathroom, and I'm like, wait, wait, are there men around? How often does this happen?

Um... On a monthly basis. I don't know, certain circumstances, certain type of public restrooms. But again, I will find myself at the urinal and I will have to think to myself, well, you're at a urinal, buddy. You're fine. This is why I am pro gender-neutral bathrooms. To alleviate that fear. Like, but I'm also pro, like, gender-neutral bathrooms.

That is what you call them, right? Yes. I'm pro that for the right reasons. So that... for all the right reasons. But I'm also pro that for my own selfish reasons. Yeah. So I don't have to worry about this anymore. I'm just...

It does feel like a very simple solution. I'm a human using the bathroom. Every bathroom is the right bathroom. Every bathroom becomes the right bathroom, and I'm really pro that. For me, selfishly. Where this comes into play, where I can relate to you, is those restaurants that have come up with a cute way to delineate the men and the women.

Yeah. With like a picture of something or like a foreign word. Yeah, it's annoying. And I'm like. I don't wanna solve a puzzle to have to pee. Yes. I think I am a horse.

I think I'm a horse. I don't think I'm a flower. Yeah, and that's just, that's not, we don't wanna go with those gender norms anyway. We don't, we don't. So we wanna kick all that to the curb. Anybody can be a horse and anybody can be a flower. You know what I think does it? It's when I'm rushing to go to the bathroom. And you go right past the horse.

And that's what it is. It's like, that's what happens once a month. Public restroom that I rushed into, and I was like, did I look? Did I really read the thing? Yeah. And that's what it is. I think that's, uh, yeah. But I do think it's happened to me. Like, somewhere in my distant past, I found myself in a women's restroom, and I was embarrassed.

Well, did your mom take you into women's restrooms when you were a kid? Probably, when you were little. Probably. To use the restroom. This is probably where this stems from. Maybe that's part of it. Yeah.

That is. At some point, you're like, I feel like I gotta go in the other one. It is a, it's a difficult aspect of parenting that needs to be talked about more often, is that when you're the dad with the daughter who needs to go potty in the Target, what do you do? When the daughter's too young to go into the women's restroom alone, do you send her with a strange woman or do you take her into the men's bathroom, which

happens? I've been in many men's restrooms where there's like a little girl having to use the bathroom, and I just, I feel for everybody. Yeah. That's what I have observed. But I do think that the gender control thing solves this problem. That's why the family

restrooms are great. But the gender, yeah, I'm a fan of the like, you just have, there's stalls, but then, and those are individual. I mean, it's hard to make these layouts work, but then the sinks are corporate, and they're out there. I thought you were gonna say the sinks are also urinals. Because I was trying to figure it out. No, the sinks...

We gotta have some urinals. The sinks are in a shared open space, and then there's like closets you can go into. There's a urinal space that is somewhat separated. I'm just afraid. I'm just afraid of doing that. I think it is related to how quickly you go in. That's my irrational fear. is related to how quickly you go in. That's my irrational fear. Whereas I relate to the fear,

but I get to the horse and the flower, and I really, I'll spend 30 seconds really thinking about all the ways that this could go wrong. I think, why would I not be a horse? There are both genders of horses. Are they showing the dong? Is there a dong hanging underneath the horse? I'm saying that in these situations,

there's no rhyme or reason sometimes to the things that they have chosen to represent men and women. And I'm frustrated by it. And then I'm like, yeah, every place I've been where there's a gender neutral bathroom and then there's just a collection of sinks outside, I'm always like, this is so much better. This is so much easier. We stop having arguments about all of this stuff all of a sudden if we just do that. It's so simple.

But you need to have a urinal in there because men pee everywhere. Yeah. It's so simple. But you need to have a urinal in there, because men pee everywhere. Yeah. You don't need to make people with penises pee on toilets, because that will happen. Yeah. There needs to be a few urinals. So everybody's gotta put up with there being a urinal

in there. Or maybe, and I guess it's behind a closet. In general neutral, genderal neutral, are there urinals at all? Yeah. But they're behind a closet. No, they're just on the other side of the toilet, typically. They're in like a... It's like literally just open urinal toilet.

Oh, just like a men's restroom. Yeah. urinal toilet. Oh, just like a men's restroom. Yeah, and it's just like, yeah, it's kinda like tucked around the back so that, you know, like you have to go like around a stall or whatever. I don't think it would be that hard. If you think about the amount of, you think about the amount of floor space. We're all human.

That it takes to do two, because when you do two, now you've got a wall in between. You've got... There's things that you're doubling up that are unnecessary. You've got two doors. Like, there's a way to take that space and be like, guys, we can solve this pretty easily. I mean, first of all, they figured this out in Europe. We've already talked about the squatty potty. Just put holes down. There you go. Holes are the answer.

That's my rational fear, and thinking too specifically about blood flow. I don't like it. Yeah, needles. I'm not afraid of needles. I'm afraid of... Needles inserted into veins. Needles inserted into veins to then make blood flow out of the body stream into the medical stream.

Oh. I don't like that. I irrationally do not like it. So, you're not alone. Oh my goodness. I got a little creeped out there. Are we good? Yeah. Alright. Thanks for listening. You know we'll be speaking at you again. Hi, this is Amy from Manitoba, Canada. A long time listener here, but I just wanted to let

Link know that I also had a special chocolate milk spoon I used as a kid and I have said since lost that spoon unfortunately but I still also just like to savor my chocolate milk no gulping involved sorry Rhett. Thanks and bye!