Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett’s Encounter With A Wild Bear | Ear Biscuits Ep. 352
Episode Date: October 3, 2022What has been your favorite job? Do you believe in Big Foot? This week, Rhett tells you his latest trip to woods and why you should always lock your doors. Link breaks down his experience at the recen...t Kendrick Lamar concert and you’ll learn all about what Rhett and Link’s most traumatic car accident. Also, a very special guest stops by! Want to hear your voice on Ear Biscuits? Call 1-888-EAR-POD1 and we might just play your call on an upcoming episode! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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by volume. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for
a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting,
we are going down the rabbit hole.
Watch out now.
Using new methods.
Who knows what we're gonna talk about today?
Who knows who's gonna drop in?
Sure, we might have somebody special,
real special dropping in.
I got somebody special who said they were gonna drop in.
They had something they wanted to say.
And because they're kin, you know,
I can't deny his request.
Might be, oh, his, might be your son.
One of your sons. Nope.
You have a rogue hair.
How's that?
I mean, here's the thing.
I think it was fine when it was down,
but I know that you would want me to tell you.
Thank you.
So if it falls down again.
Is it up?
You know, it's up, but I'm gonna give you,
I'll tell you two more times, Max.
Okay.
Happens four times. Just give me a signal.
Let's not make this part a podcast.
Let's just make it a signal.
No, this is good.
This is for the people who are just listening
and like, I gotta watch that YouTube version.
I'd like to throw little things in there like that, Link.
I thought you did it on purpose for that reason.
Yeah, so we're gonna go down the rabbit hole,
but before we go down the rabbit hole,
we're gonna go into the bear cave.
That's my way of saying that I'm gonna tell a story
about a bear.
Oh, spoiler.
So recently, and here's the thing,
I already told you this story,
and can you just act like I haven't?
I was going to.
Typically, I wait to say things,
but we were in this mixed company situation,
and I really needed to tell you the story.
I need to tell somebody else a story,
and I was like, I just don't wanna do the Ear Biscuits thing
where I hold it for a few weeks.
And when you say mixed company, what do you mean by that?
You know.
People who you do a podcast with and people you don't.
Is that what you mean by mixed company?
What does mixed company usually mean?
Mixed company, I thought was like when it's like-
Many women?
It's like co-ed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it was in that sense.
Yeah, it was. It was a co-ed group.
Yeah, there was all types of genders there.
And everyone was, well, I don't know
if everyone was represented.
No, I don't think so. Everyone wasn't represented.
Right, no. Yeah.
How's that even possible?
Yeah, that's true.
I don't, yeah, I mean, you know.
I don't even know why I said mixed company.
I don't know why I made it about representation.
People who are my friends and you.
It's a good story.
I'm gonna hear it like it's the first time.
Good.
Okay, so I, Jesse and I took a little weekend away
with our friends, Lance and Lacey, you know,
our longtime friends who responsible for-
You know, mixed company.
The beard and lady products
that we sell our grooming line.
That's right.
Been friends for a very long time,
probably 15 years now.
And they were coming into town and we were like,
hey, they're coming into town without their children.
So we were like- Jackpot for them.
Hey, why don't we leave our child-
Jackpot for you.
And go, just go to the mountains.
Let's get away from this heat.
It was that crazy hot heat wave weekend
that we had recently.
So we just went to a place that was probably 20 degrees
cooler, which was nice.
In the woods.
Yeah, and it is not uncommon
when you visit these places in the California mountains
that there's lots of, if you're doing an Airbnb,
there's all kinds of information that you're overwhelmed with
when you arrive at the Airbnb.
And in this particular case,
some of that information mentioned bears,
but like more mentions than seem necessary.
Like it was in the email, it was in the handbook,
it was a sign on the door,
just all kinds of stuff like,
do not leave any food outside
or else
you will be fined $4,500.
Good gosh.
Because there are bears in this here neighborhood
and they are hungry bears.
And I'm like, okay, well, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, theoretically.
Right? Theoretically.
So we, this is the first night.
We, you know, we hang out, we eat some food.
We leave food out on the-
Side? Outside?
On the kitchen counter.
Like we had brought food, like some fruit, some chips,
stuff that doesn't go inside the refreege
and stuff that's not gonna go in a cabinet.
It's just like kind of out on the counter.
Yeah, but they said don't leave the food outside.
They said don't leave it outside.
So we didn't do that.
Now the way this place was set up is that it had
what I believe is like a south facing, almost a complete glass wall,
like four sets of sliding doors
and then a bunch of glass on top.
So like it's southern facing, like just window,
you know, get the view of the valley situation.
That's a great way to face.
And lets a lot of sun in.
Yeah, but you're not blinded by the sun on a set or a rise.
It's more of you get it throughout the day.
Correct.
So when it's cold, it really warms it up.
That was really an irrelevant point.
Well, let's not start pointing those out in your story.
So we go to sleep and we're sleeping in two separate rooms.
You know, the couples are.
Okay.
Each couple is in a separate room.
Mixed company.
It was that kind of thing
where you each get your own bedroom.
And Lance and Lacey said to us,
you know, we tend to get up a little early,
also time change, you know, they're on the East Coast.
Central time zone. Central time zone.
Central time zone.
And so, you know, we'll be quiet,
but we might get up a little bit earlier than y'all,
like 10-4.
Probably didn't actually say 10-4,
I probably just said, okay.
But then it's like seven o'clock in the morning
and this is vacation time.
So seven o'clock is very morning, and this is vacation time, so seven o'clock's very early,
and we begin to hear,
wow, somebody's really making a racket upstairs.
And if I may, you know,
if you hadn't mentioned bears at all,
I'll just point out, you know,
I'm not trying to tell you storytelling one-on-one here,
but like, if it were me,
I probably wouldn't have mentioned bears at all.
No, because the- My preamble wouldn't have been about bears. The tension, but here's the thing, if it were me, I probably wouldn't have mentioned bears at all. No, because the-
My preamble wouldn't have been about bears.
The tension, but here's the thing.
I got people hooked.
They haven't fast forward through this one.
Oh, you were afraid.
Okay, that's legitimate.
You have to make a choice.
That's legitimate, yeah.
I mean, did you see how big Brian and Logan's eyes got
when I said somebody's running up,
that happened out there on the airwaves too.
I mean, you gotta choose your battles.
Right.
So now everybody's thinking that you're about to get
in a bear point of the story.
So I would advise you to give them a left turn.
You're crimping my style at this point.
Yeah, yeah.
They're like, wow, okay.
They said they might be up early,
but this seems disrespectful.
The level of loudness seems disrespectful.
You know, what are they doing up there?
It was probably them though.
And now cut to Lance and Lacey in their own bedroom
saying to one another,
"'Bret and Jesse, we didn't think they were gonna get up.
"'We didn't think that they were gonna get up this early
"'and be making this kind of racket.
At which point Lance gets up and goes into the main area
of the house, which is like a living room, a dining room
and a kitchen all open together.
And at that point, he sees a bear.
No way.
No, hold on, what?
Mm-hmm.
In the kitchen? No, it was outside. Okay. See, hold on, what? In the kitchen?
No, it was outside.
Okay.
See, but I got you. It was a bear standing on the deck, standing up with its hands on
the screen, ripping through the screen to get right next to the handle, to get to the
handle to open the handle of the sliding glass door
to come inside and get the food that it smelled
and I guess saw on the counter.
The bananas and chips?
And I said, how Big was said, first of all,
he sees the bear, he says to Lacy, it's a bear!
And he goes back to get his phone,
and when he comes back, the bear is gone.
So the bear did not get inside,
but the bear was actively trying to open the door.
Bears are smart.
They know how these things work.
So it took, it basically ripped.
In fact, I just texted,
cause I didn't get a picture.
I texted Lacey and Lance to see if they got a picture
of the screen.
He just shredded the screen?
If we had that, you're seeing that
in the YouTube version now, but honestly,
I don't know if we have it because-
But what is it?
I mean, was it like, was the whole screen ripped off?
No, it was two spots on the screen were four strips,
like a bear claw.
Oh wow. And then a spot
that it just ripped through right next to the handle
to get to the handle of the glass door.
It was shimmying the handle.
And thankfully we, yeah, that was what was making,
it was grabbing onto the handle and trying to get it open.
And thankfully we locked all the sliding glass doors
and we put the reinforcement, like, you know,
the little like wood rods to keep the doors from opening.
And we were like, well, dadgum,
that bear was really coming in.
I mean, these people weren't lying.
I mean, if you would have left the door unlocked
and the rod out.
The bear would have come in.
Yeah, he would have walked into a bear
just like eating the nanner.
Well, the story is not over, my friend.
Because we get up, we have a laugh about the bear.
We begin to realize that the bear may come back.
But my theory was that the bear was making its rounds
and it makes its rounds and tries things
and opens things to see if, and if people are there,
I mean, it's not like people have been killed by bears
in this place that we're at.
I don't think so.
I don't think there's a history of a bear attack
or something like that.
That wasn't in the booklet or on the door or in the email.
But you don't wanna be the first
and you don't wanna find out.
But about an hour later,
we decided we would walk outside,
at which point, first thing I see when I look outside
is our car,
and the driver's side door to the car is open.
That's a good feeling.
At that point, I remembered another thing that I read,
which was, lock your car doors.
If he's going for a sliding glass door knob.
So I'm like, I know we didn't leave that door open,
but I'm pretty sure we didn't lock it.
Cause I drove and I've gotten completely spoiled
because the car that I drive is tied to your phone.
So once you get about 20 feet away from my car,
it automatically locks.
Oh, behave.
And so basically what ends up happening
is that when I drive Jessie's car, I forget to lock it
because I'm like, oh, isn't it supposed to do this
when I get 20 feet away anyway?
Mm-hmm.
Spoiled.
So I'm-
So this has got your fault written all over it.
I'm approaching the SUV and the door is open.
You creeping, right?
And we got tinted windows and we tinted them too much,
probably beyond the legal limit,
so I can't see into the back.
Damn, you're living on the edge.
And I'm like, what are the chances,
the bear was just here, what are the chances
that I'm gonna go up to this car
and the bear's gonna be in there?
I mean.
At least 50%.
Maybe, yeah,
because I believe it was in there at one point.
I creep to the car, I stop, I wait.
I'm assuming that there's gonna be some sort of movement
that the bear is.
Did you like throw a stick at the car?
No, I just thought if there's a bear in there,
it'll be rummaging and I didn't see any motion.
So I go up and I just opened the door a little bit more
because it was like half closed.
Look in, no bear.
But the first thing that I'm thinking is,
I've seen these pictures about what bears,
of what bears will do to your car.
They-
They pry open a door like taking the lid off of a can.
And not just that, when they get into your car,
typically what will happen, in fact,
there was a picture at the general store in town
and it said, bears versus car.
And it said, lock your car doors.
And it had these pictures of the interiors of cars
that had been verified.
And they just go in there and they smell like a goldfish
that your kid dropped into the seat cushion
and they ripped the seat cushion up to get to it.
Thankfully, I guess our kids are old now
and we only got one at home now.
The only thing that I could find is there was dirt
on the driver's seat
because it had gotten up with his dirty paws.
And then it had gone into the back seat
and there was one claw mark where it kind of like
went in kind of deep on the leather seats.
Punctured it.
Didn't completely go through,
and I think I am showing a picture of that right now,
unless it's like bounced back,
but that was the only evidence that I could find
that it was in there, and it definitely was in there,
and then it left.
In the back seat too?
Yeah, I think it went over and like looked in the back seat
and probably smelled, and then decided it wasn't worth it.
Dude, I cannot believe that your car
was not ripped to shreds.
Oh, which so lucky.
I mean, had you cleaned out your car?
I mean, I'm not trying to dog on you here,
but I've been in, this is Jessie's car, right?
Oh yeah, I was very surprised.
I've been in Jessie's car.
I mean, Jessie's car has, it's just,
it's an accumulation zone for like, I mean-
Mostly not food though.
It's like design samples and like tile
and a bunch of carpet samples and curtains.
Yeah, okay.
It's like a design woman's car, you know, designing women.
Remember that show?
That's what, it's like what you imagine
the inside of their car to be like.
But no smoothie remnants, no like granola.
Listen, you're just as, I'm just as surprised as you.
You were spared, dude.
That was, I mean, especially, there's signs everywhere.
It's like every time, every point in the story,
I thought you're done telling me about signs.
There's more warnings.
It's like, this is definitely on you.
Well, and we kept thinking that the bear was gonna-
General store.
We kept thinking the bear was gonna come back.
You know, but- They can open doors.
Oh, and there was zero evidence of a bear claw.
I mean, I don't know how to open some doors.
Well- Like your Tesla
would have been impervious to a bear.
Because I don't know how to get in that thing.
I would say a Tesla is like bear proof. And I don't know how to get in that thing. I would say a Tesla is like bear proof.
And I don't know how to get out of it either.
And maybe that's the whole point.
Like I pulled the thing that a normal person
would get out of the car.
You're not supposed to pull anything.
And then you're like, oh, you're supposed to push,
don't pull the thing that normally
would get you out of the car, push the button.
It looks like it's supposed to roll the window down.
I didn't design the car.
That's what opens the door.
I'm not defending the design.
But it also rolls the window down a little bit.
So it rolls the window down and opens the door a little bit.
Yeah.
I'm like, what?
Yeah.
So bring the bear in,
I need to know how to get out of this thing.
But all they have to do is stick their hands
up under the handle and just pull,
and they have figured it out.
Their bear hands.
They have completely figured this out.
That's why inside the house, the trash cans had,
just the trash cans inside the house under the sink
were bear proof, had bear proof lids on them.
So that if it happens to get in, it can't like,
cause they just know how to open stuff.
Smelling stuff.
You have to create some weird way
that they can't get into things.
Anyway, I survived.
Thanks for being concerned.
But yeah, those bear warnings are,
I don't think I've ever,
I don't know if I've actually had a bear encounter.
I have in my own backyard.
I mean, it's like the bears turn over the trash cans.
But did you have to pay a fine?
I mean, if it's $4,500,
did you report this to the people?
Oh yeah, well, them getting into my car.
No, I mean the door, like the ripped door.
Yeah, but we didn't do anything wrong.
We didn't violate any rules.
Leaving food on the counter is not a problem.
But so you had a conversation with him.
I actually, right before we started recording,
it hit me, I texted Jessie
because it was her Airbnb account,
and I said, did you ever tell the owner
that the reason the screen door was ripped up
and ripped off was because of a bear,
and she was like, yes, I told them.
Okay.
So they knew.
Also, just weird side note, but kind of cool,
first Airbnb I've ever stayed at where they had merch.
There was a closet full of hoodies and T-shirts.
I stayed here and survived a bear attack.
And it said, did you forget,
did you forget a sweatshirt or something like that? Just take one home and let us know
and we'll add it to your bill.
And it was like a brand,
it's like a company that owns the house or something,
I guess. Okay.
But anyway, it was pretty cool.
Jessie got one.
Because Jessie and Lacey did.
I guess, because they're pretty nice hoodies.
And they were, I mean, they sell them for 40 bucks.
That's a pretty good price for a hoodie.
That's not bad for a hoodie.
Yeah.
I mean, if you go to a show,
I went to the Kendrick Lamar concert,
you buy, I mean, $100 for a hoodie.
Yeah, easy.
I mean, it had two naked people on it.
$50 each.
Yeah.
And they were, I think it was either, they were on a tiger rug. Yeah. And they were, I think it was either a,
they were on a tiger rug.
Yeah. Did you get one?
For my son, yeah.
To wear to high school.
You got him naked people on his clothes?
No, I didn't.
I just made a lot of jokes about it.
Well, son, I know which one I'm getting you.
And then I was like, none,
because it's a hundred dollar hoodie.
It's like-
You give him a t-shirt?
Nope, the line was too long.
Honestly, I was like, you know what?
I don't like anything that he's got up here.
So I don't want to wait in line.
You don't like, Kendrick doesn't have good merch?
He didn't have great merch, in my opinion.
That's a surprise.
Maybe it's too ahead of his time.
Probably.
You know, it'll be cool three years from now.
I mean, don't get me wrong, all of his merch is classic.
It's just, I don't find myself going back to it.
That's what I would say about his new album.
Show was awesome.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, 100.
Shots fired.
I was like, Lincoln, honestly, if I really liked something,
I would get in line and I would get it,
and then I'd probably get you something too.
But at this point, if you really want something,
you need to buy it with your own money
and stand in line by yourself.
And I don't think any of this is worthy.
And he was like, yeah.
So I basically talked him out of him trying to talk me
into buying him something.
Sometimes you just need a t-shirt for the memory though.
I like to get a t-shirt at a show,
but I just couldn't find anything
that actively appealed to me.
It's a shame.
Surprising.
It's a shame.
But you enjoyed the show.
I loved the show, yes.
Did anybody open up for him?
Who traded for the world?
Baby Keen, his cousin.
He came back out and they did a couple of songs.
Last night of the US tour.
How old is Baby Keem?
How old is Baby Keem?
He walks, he can walk, he can talk.
He can rap in complete sentences.
So he's at least five.
Okay, all right.
But he appears to be much older than that.
How old does he appear to be?
He appears to be in his mid-20s, maybe 30.
Wow. It's hard to tell.
Okay, that's an old baby.
Definitely not much of a baby.
I don't know.
I bet you he's in his 20s.
How old is baby King?
21.
21, he's 21?
Okay, he's still a baby.
He is still a baby.
I said he could be 30.
You know, it's like, it's dramatically lit on stage.
You know, I was within nine years.
That ain't bad.
But you didn't see a bear.
Of course I didn't really either.
No, boy, you had me on the edge of my seat.
I was wondering when a bear was gonna show up.
on the edge of my seat.
I was wondering when a bear was going to show up.
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I experimented with a couple of
conversation starting websites
and I have since upped my game,
did a little research.
Okay.
And I've upgraded.
To what?
RandomQuestionMaker.com.
Still not a sponsor.
Okay. RandomQuestionionmaker.com. Still not a sponsor. Okay.
Randomquestionmaker.com.
But this lets you set the tone of the questions.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
You can select from candid, weird,
icebreaker, creative, and funny.
So of course I went with weird.
Great.
Okay, so I'm gonna ask you a weird question.
I'm gonna ask us a weird question. I'm gonna ask us a weird question.
Okay.
I don't know why this is weird.
What is the best job you ever had?
I didn't hear weird.
This one.
Besides this job, what's the best job I've ever had?
It doesn't say that, no, it says,
what is the best job you've ever had?
This one.
This is the best job I've ever had. This is definitely the best job I've ever had? It doesn't say that, no. It says, what is the best job you've ever had? This one. This is the best job I've ever had.
This is definitely the best job I've ever had.
Second best job I've ever had is not an obvious choice.
Turns out I really haven't liked jobs.
I mean, for me, this feels like a pretty easy answer.
It has to be our time on staff.
Yeah.
We came to crusade.
I guess that's right.
We were basically doing kind of what we're doing now.
Yeah, I agree with that.
Just with the Jesus twist.
Give me another, that one's just not that weird.
Yeah, I know.
It's weird that it would ask that question.
So strange that it wasn't weird.
Have you ever been in a car accident or seen one?
No, I've never seen one.
I've never seen it.
No, this is interesting,
because you were in a pretty,
were you with your mom in that car accident?
No.
My mom broke her back.
I was not in the van.
Yeah, okay, you weren't there.
So what's the craziest accident you've ever been in?
Is it the one that I was there for?
You're talking about the Halloween egging?
That's the craziest car accident I've ever been in.
My head broke the windshield.
Yeah, that was my doing.
Yeah, yeah, I think, I mean, that was scary.
That was kind of traumatic.
It was very shocking.
I mean, we're egging houses with our friends.
We don't recommend that.
It's me and you and in my 1987 Nissan pickup
that I still own, this is at my mom's house.
Yeah.
And Heather sitting in the middle of the bench seat.
And then how many people are we seeing now?
I'm still gonna say eight.
Eight.
People in the back.
Eight people in the back, three people in the front.
Total of 11.
You know, you egg people's houses
and then you flee the scene
and it had been raining a little bit
and leaving this neighborhood that I never go in.
You know?
What was it called?
It was really nice.
Really nice.
And Anger.
And then, so I didn't see the stop sign
till it was too late and then it was,
the road didn't continue straight.
You had to turn right or left when you stopped
at the stop sign, which I was going through,
I don't know, 35 miles an hour.
Try again.
45?
Yeah. 50.
So I slammed on brakes until I realized that like,
oh, there's just a field out there.
So then I was like, we're just gonna go into the field.
But there was like a huge ditch that, wha-bam!
We like go down into this ditch and then we hit so, we had so much momentum
that like we hit the ditch and then popped up
on the other side and like came to rest in the field.
And when I looked around,
the front, my front windshield was cracked
thanks to your forehead.
Well, in my perspective, I get into the car
after having thrown eggs.
And of course, when you're in an egging situation
and you're getting in and out of your car,
you don't put your seatbelt on.
Also, it was like 1995 in North Carolina.
I mean, you didn't wear your seatbelt that much anyway.
We were dumb.
And so-
No one in the back was wearing seatbelts.
Yeah, all the people in the back.
So I just was basically just a free fall,
not free fall, but just a free throw.
Like my head, boom, right there on the part of your head
that you would headbutt someone with, hits the windshield,
completely shatters the windshield.
I come back to the seat.
I think Heather's head hit the middle part
and knocked the mirror off.
Yeah.
She comes back and then the car sort of comes to a stop.
And the first thing I did was laugh
because I was in shock to some extent,
but I was in shock that this had just happened
and I wasn't hurt.
But then we heard the crying and wailing.
And I looked over to my right and left and like the people,
the friends of mine who were in the back of the truck
are now all in the field.
We thought we had killed people.
I thought I had tossed everybody out,
but they had just jumped out in terror.
But my ex-girlfriend at the time.
She was like, I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding.
I'm bleeding all over my face.
Yeah, and we were like, it's egg,
you have egg all over you.
You're not bleeding.
Of course, one guy was bleeding
because he had the worst injury.
Shout out to Don.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Don and Brooks.
They both were seated against the back of the cab.
So they hit the back windows of my truck
and broke those and broke their face.
But I think they both have permanent face scars.
Did Brooks have a permanent face scar?
I believe so. I knew that Don had one.
Yeah, Don definitely has a face scar from that.
That's my worst story.
Look, you got that one out of me again.
Yeah, and I was there.
And it was so weird.
Here's another weird one.
I think maybe- I think it's weird.
I think that maybe this would be weird.
We're just so weird.
If you were just like, if you were on a date.
Cause it would be weird to ask,
what's the size of your shoes?
What?
Yeah, that is really weird on like a first date.
There's like a lull in the conversation and you're like, what's the size of your shoes?
Like just pick one, left or right, just what's the size?
Well mine are a little bit different.
My left one's a little bit bigger.
Mine too.
But it's not worth getting a half size different.
Mm-mm.
Rhett, thank you for asking such a weird question.
I wear a size 11.
I wear a size 11. I wear a size 11.
And for the longest time, you also wore an 11.
We had the same size shoe.
You went up to a 12, didn't you?
You wear a 12?
I have always been, I've been a 12 for many, many years.
I've been at 12 since high school
and I have 13s in Pumas.
Okay.
Consistently Pumas a little bit tight on the 12.
So I go 13 on Pumas.
I wear a 10 and a half to 11 and a half.
It depends on the brand.
Okay.
Well, that was, I'm sorry.
It got a little weird there.
I switched.
Talking about like our shoe sizes.
I switched to creative mode.
This is a creative question.
Come on, let's try this.
Do you believe in Bigfoot?
Absolutely not.
No.
No.
No.
Do you?
No. No.
I mean, I'm just checking
and seeing if you've changed your view.
I'm cool with it.
I'm cool with Bigfoot and I could be wrong, but like, no.
No, I mean, they're discovering species all the time,
but they're like deep in a jungle
that is not a Sasquatchian jungle.
And they're like small things,
like an Amazonian rodent frog, or, you know,
there's more bugs that we don't know than we do.
So I'm kind of making an argument for like
a small Sasquatch in the Amazon, but that ain't Sasquatch.
Here's, I definitely do not believe in Bigfoot, right?
There's just absolutely no good reason
to believe in Bigfoot.
There's just absolutely no good reason to believe in Bigfoot.
However, at this point,
I don't think I could be presented with evidence
that would make me believe in Bigfoot.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Right.
It's so unbelievable at this point
that if somebody was like,
we have definitive proof of Bigfoot, I just-
Too late.
I don't think you could do anything to change my mind,
which I'm just saying that that's how made up my mind is
about this particular thing.
Yeah, Crying Wolf.
Too many people have cried Bigfoot.
There's been too many TV shows about it
where they haven't produced a Bigfoot.
Yeah, you think a TV show searching for Bigfoot,
if they could find a Bigfoot, they would have?
You know, you think they'd hold back on that?
Maybe to get a couple more seasons out of it.
But eventually you gotta show a little bit of the Bigfoot.
You got to.
I haven't even invested, but let's talk about Yeti though.
Cause I had the classic conversation with-
You believe this is different?
A fellow, oh, this is very different.
So like I dropped, I was picking up Lando
from his flag football practice and they're like,
I got to know the other parents.
We're like, you know, we're hitting it off.
I'm telling you.
I found a new friend group, Rhett.
I'm just telling you.
It's my son's parents.
They're a good group of people.
Your son's parents.
That would be you.
Oh yeah, that's me.
My son's friend's parents, I left a friend out.
Yeah, that makes more sense.
I do like hanging out with myself.
Or you could be talking about your wife.
You know, and there was a guy sitting there in a chair,
in a folding chair, and he was like,
and there was an open one, so I sat in his other chair.
I don't know why he brought two, it was only him,
but I guess to share. I was like, damn, this is a other chair. I don't know why he brought two. It was only him, but I guess to share.
I was like, damn, this is a nice chair.
I look back at it and it said Yeti on it.
This is one of them Yeti chairs.
Oh, okay.
And then he's like, well, yeah,
I traveled to so many different things
and I have to sit down.
I wanted to splurge and get myself a nice chair.
I was like, well, you know, Yeti's where it's at.
And before you know it, we're having that dad conversation
about everything
that you should get from, not a sponsor, Yeti.
Okay, I know about the coolers.
Oh, you got the cooler that goes on your back,
and you put ice in that thing, three days later,
it's still ice.
You know, these are the conversations that you get in
when you're in full dad at a flag football game mode.
So you're just saying you believe in Yeti as a brand.
I believe in Yeti as a brand.
I think you can count on Yeti,
but you're gonna have to fork some dough to get that Yeti.
You know what I'm saying?
Do you own any Yeti products?
I own a Yeti cooler.
You do?
Yeah, that I got from my solo trip.
And I don't think I've used it since then
because I just don't have many cooler needs.
People, you know, we're in an age where like products
come out of the woodwork that are like super specialized
and then they're advertised on Instagram
and it's basically like- Speaking of.
Hey, you're gonna pay out the nose for this,
but we've done all this work to figure it out.
Like I'm getting a lot of Instagram ads
for all types of bags.
Well, have you seen a Hover Glide?
No, the bag that I've seen is one that it's like,
it's got four zippers across a duffel bag.
I don't know what it's called, again, not a sponsor.
And it's like, so each compartment,
you can organize things in different ways.
And it's like very, it's very enthralling.
I think you're gonna want this.
And then there's another bag I saw where it starts off
and you're like, you put a suit in it
and then you roll it over and turn it into a duffel bag.
I've seen that, look at this.
And what's this guy doing?
Floating backpack.
It's the Hoverglide.
This is invented by a professor,
like a biology professor from somewhere.
So the backpack's on your back and as you move,
like as you walk or jump or anything,
the backpack is like on some sort of spring system.
Actually, so I already watched this whole video.
Patented technology.
It's on a track that, this is the guy that invented it,
and it has these bands, these elastic bands.
It looks like the backpack is staying completely
motionless as you're moving up and down
in a normal cadence. Dr. Lawrence Rome,
a biology professor at the University of Pennsylvania.
He's been working on this project for the past 15 years.
Yeah, you know what it is though.
Of course, this came out in 2018.
It's a Steadicam, dude.
Haven't you ever seen a Steadicam operator?
Yeah, but why, how come this hasn't caught on?
It's like, it's Steadicam technology.
This video came out in 2018, it's 2022.
Did the pandemic ruin all momentum
that this floating backpack had?
Because that could be me and you right there
running across the city square
and our backpacks just staying completely motionless
as we go up and down.
That could be me and you, man.
We could be doing jumping jacks on the steps.
Why does he keep doing jumping jacks?
Because it's a great way to illustrate how this works.
Yeah, but I don't do jumping jacks with a backpack on.
Well, they say it reduces the load like about 80%.
You know, I don't know if it's true,
but I'm just saying if you're into bags,
I would think that you might have this one.
If you started rolling with this backpack,
this backpack that makes it look like-
I'm not into bags.
What?
You just said you were getting advertised bags.
Okay, so you're sending the wrong messages to Instagram.
I look at them, you're right.
I guess proof's in the pudding.
I freaking look at these ads.
Listen. But I never buy the bags. The robots are smarter than you. Robots know you better, you're right. I guess proof's in the pudding. I freaking look at these ads. Listen.
But I never buy the bags.
The robots are smarter than you.
Robots know you better than you know yourself.
The robots know you want a bag.
And you might want this bag.
I don't know, I don't know you, man.
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Hey, Rhett and Link, y'all got time to talk to me?
Oh, yeah.
We always got time to talk to you. Hey, yeah. We always got time to talk to you.
Hey, Dad.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah.
I don't know about these toolboxes, but, you know, you probably could,
I don't know whether you need to get one made out of a cooler or not.
You can just go to Lowe's and get a good toolbox.
See, that's what I was talking about, a toolbox.
He was listening to you. He was listening.
He was listening.
Is that why you called?
I was told that you wanted to call in, but-
No, I didn't want to call in to get in
between y'all's toolboxes.
I called in to try to help people
to know about dispatches from Myrtle Beach.
That's why I called.
Yep, okay.
Okay.
I like this plan.
I got a ulterior motive, I'm telling you.
So you wanna pull everybody from this podcast
into your podcast, and you know what?
Hey, that's fine by me.
I'm just kind of conveniently involved in both of them.
Yeah, and I'm in full support of you listening
to both Ear Biscuits and Dispatches from Myrtle Beach.
Well, that's what we want to try to get people to do.
I know they're going to keep watching Ear Biscuits.
We're trying to get that many people to watch Dispatches from Myrtle Beach
because we're having a good time and swinging stuff around the world.
We might even teach you how to dance or something.
Oh yeah.
I've learned quite a bit.
Yeah, there's a lot to learn.
Yeah, but I do know looking at the data
that there's roughly like four times as many people
listening to Ear Biscuits as to dispatches from Myrtle Beach.
And dad, how do you feel about that?
Well, y'all been doing that a lot longer
than we've been doing Dispatches, so.
Okay, that's true.
Maybe in about six months,
just give us about six months
and we're gonna see if we can't catch y'all
getting pretty close anyway.
Okay, so right now. We're gonna close anyway. Okay. So right now-
We're gonna work hard at this.
So right now, if somebody listens to Ear Biscuits,
there is four people listen,
one person says,
I'm also gonna listen to Dispatches from Roald Beach.
But in six months,
you're saying all four of them are gonna listen?
All five of them.
Oh, more people.
Yeah.
You know, it's good for everybody.
If you can tolerate a dirty joke or two.
Just once in a while.
Yeah, we have some people ask some funky questions.
And I mean, we've been taking a break.
So it was like four weeks off for us.
Have you missed making the show?
Oh yeah, I like doing it.
It's fun.
I don't know if I'm gonna let us take a break again
like this.
Uh-oh.
Oh, I told you, Rhett.
I told you, Rhett asked me, it's like,
are you making your dad do this?
I'm like, hey, he likes it.
He likes it.
Well, you seem to be enjoying yourself.
Oh, I enjoy, it's fun.
It's kind of like, well,
some people know about SOS,
it's society's shaggers.
It's a shagging thing that we have
for about 10 days down here in the fall
and my shirts came in that said do you know who i am
yes and uh that's what i ask people a lot of times if and it's really got to do with uh
you and link red i said you know who ret and link are and uh but this lady older than me walked up
to me and read my shirt and she says i don't know who you are i said and nancy was with me nancy said
what he's got a famous son and a man that works with him that's famous and they do stuff on YouTube and stuff.
You're the man that works with him.
Yeah.
Well, y'all work together, whatever.
No, I understood.
I'll take that.
But she didn't know what Good Mythical Morning was,
but I did tell her about Dispatches from Myrtle Beach.
I looked that up-
Yes. On a podcast.
So, you know, that's just my job
when I'm talking to people.
Yeah.
Good.
That's called guerrilla marketing.
Guerrilla marketing.
And I mean, if dad takes his shirt off,
it would definitely be like guerrilla marketing
because he is hairy.
That's like the people I talked to on the beach that day
and asked about you too.
And all I had on was my swimming trunk
and a cold beer in my hand, by the way.
But anyway.
Dad, would you be willing to take your shirt off
and have dispatchers from Myrtle Beach
shaved into your body hair?
No.
Yeah, you gotta draw the line somewhere.
I'm drawing, no, no.
What about your email address?
Not that either.
RatherBeShagging53 at AOL.com.
That's a lot of letters.
It's harder to read.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no.
You got any emails you wanna share with us?
Yeah, I got one.
But if we're going to do a sign,
we'll just get another T-shirt made up with all that stuff on it.
We ain't doing that to my chest.
Yeah, just get a T-shirt made
before you get something shaved into your chest hair.
Yeah, just...
Yeah, but I have got a question that Randy Johnson sent in to us.
The pitcher?
Well, no, it don't say that,
but I remember that Randy Johnson that was about six foot,
about as tall as you might be.
I think he was taller than me, yeah.
Yeah, he was about 6'10 or 6'11 and could throw heat.
He could throw heat.
I guess he's a fan of the show.
Yeah, might be, but-
If you guys make too much of a connection over baseball,
then you're gonna have to have your own baseball podcast.
Okay.
And Rhett, you're gonna,
with all the hair you got, you're gonna like this one.
Okay.
It says, what do you call a smiling Roman soldier
with a piece of hair stuck between his teeth?
A smiling Roman soldier
with a piece of hair stuck between his teeth.
I know it.
I figured it out.
I know it.
Okay.
Has it got the word centurion in it?
Well, you can try.
Just give it a shot.
What do you call a Roman soldier
smiling with hair in between a piece of hair?
Made a movie about it.
Okay.
Yep.
Okay, so it's got something to do with Gladiator.
Oh.
Gladiator.
That's it.
There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
And that wasn't-
Sometimes I give a good hint, Rhett.
Once in a while.
But why did you say with someone as much hair as Rhett,
he would like it?
Hey, because, you know, if he was like that Roman soldier,
he wouldn't know if it was his hair or hers.
It was between his teeth.
Okay.
Well, a lot of dispatches from Myrtle Beach
is the struggle and discovery of punchlines.
I enjoy this.
You want me to join?
No.
We gotta keep the fun between us.
This is a father-son thing.
It's a bonding thing.
I don't need to be there.
Just every once in a while, like right now.
Yeah, you can join us every once a quarter or something.
Until we get enough of the audience to move over,
I think we're just gonna have to keep getting you to join this podcast.
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Wow, Dad. Well.
I mean, I don't want you to share any more of the jokes.
You got to keep your best stuff for dispatches.
Oh, I got some stuff.
I got some stuff for starting this coming week, boy.
I mean, I've been recognized at about six or seven places.
He always tells the story
and gets recognized.
Well, no, I didn't tell the story
in half of these places, they just recognize me.
Oh yeah, it's happening.
All right, well save it for our recording session.
Again, Dispatches from Myrtle Beach comes out
this coming Thursday.
And yeah, then we're back every Thursday.
But dad, can you talk directly to Ear Biscuits listeners?
Again, three out of four have not given it a chance yet.
So just, can you speak directly to them,
give them your wholehearted pitch?
Well, all you Ear Biscuits fans,
I would really like for y'all to start watching Dispatches from Myrtle Beach.
Don't say watch because it's only audio. I mean, listen to everything on Dispatches from Myrtle Beach
because you might learn some words that you ain't never heard before if you
just come and just want to just listen to me talk and just see what you learn about it so
and listen we have a good time and uh I got an email address ratherbeeshagging53 at aol.com
you people on ear basics and send us send me some questions and I'll do my best to answer them and
see what we can do with that. So
just come on and swing.
I always like to tell people we're swinging
around in this show like I'm swinging
when I'm dancing. So just
come on and have a good time from Ear Biscuits
to Dispatches from Myrtle Beach.
Rather be shagging the letter
B. No G on shagging.
The number's 5-3 at AOL.com.
And it's not much of a time commitment, right?
I mean, you guys keep it under 40 minutes, right?
It's 30 minutes every episode.
30 minutes.
Yeah, you can add it to your life.
It will make you happy.
I tell you, Dad, you make me happy every single week.
I've missed it. Well, it's good.
It was good to see both of y'all.
I'm telling you.
I get to see you, you know, with what we do.
But, and I reckon it'd be all right to me to say, you know,
I'll be glad to be seeing y'all down in Austin, Texas in the end.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We're looking forward to that.
We're going to have a good time at Mythicon.
I'm telling you. So, we've looking forward to that. Yeah, I'm telling you. We're gonna have a good time at Mythicon.
I'm telling you, so we've done a little stuff with that too, so looking forward to that.
That's, you know, getting to bond a little bit
and have a good time.
Yep.
And get more listeners.
All right, Dad, that was a very effective plug.
If that doesn't do it, I don't know what will.
Well. No notes.
No notes, I try to do the best I can do
to do what we enjoy doing.
So if I need to, I'm gonna let y'all get back
to ear biscuits and talk about toolboxes or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll pick up where we left off.
All right, Dad, I'll see you soon for our next recording.
Okay, all right.
Love both of y'all.
Love you too.
Bye.
Bye.
Isn't he the greatest?
He is.
He is.
He's a natural.
He's just fallen right into it.
Yeah, he's completely embraced it.
Yeah. He's found into it. Yeah, he's completely embraced it. Yeah.
He's found a new calling.
He hasn't quit his day job yet.
Well, maybe if you get enough listeners.
Still painting.
You can do that.
We'll get there.
I do have a question for you.
Is it weird?
It's under the weird category,
but to me it's more interesting than weird.
It's under the weird category, but to me it's more interesting than weird.
If you were offered the position of mayor of your city,
would you take it?
This raises-
Mayor of Los Angeles or Burbank?
Mayor of Burbank.
Sure. Being a politician
in any, that just seems like a nightmare to me.
You know, it's like, I respect people who do it,
and especially if they keep their integrity intact.
You know, but like,
being in a position where you've got to please the people,
you know, it's like, we have fans that we have to,
you know, if they're not happy,
this arrangement isn't working.
But at the same time, it's not 100% of our job
to make people happy, you know?
It is a big part of it, but you know what I'm saying?
Like something about, it's just like being a politician
is like a, if you're doing it right,
it's a complete act of service.
And that's just, I mean, I guess I'm too selfish for that.
I think very, I mean, maybe I'm being too cynical,
but I don't think, we don't have to have
these headphones on anymore.
Oh, let's take these off.
Look at us, look at us.
I don't think, are we good to just keep going?
Okay.
I don't think most people get into politics
for selfless reasons, right?
Mm-hmm.
Even, I mean, you can-
As a service?
There can even be a selfishness in being selfless.
You know, it's like if you find joy in being selfless,
isn't that selfish?
Like Mother Teresa, you know, wanted to get up
and help people because, every morning,
because she found fulfillment in that.
If you wanna get to the root of it,
I would say that, yeah, if you follow,
if you actually are following your,
you're making decisions for your own benefit
and for your own wellbeing,
most often you will do good things to other people, right?
Like most people will end up,
oh, I'm doing good because it makes me feel good.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
No.
But I guess what I'm saying is this is an interesting
question because I've heard somebody say,
relatively recently actually, that, you know,
we spend a lot of time thinking about national elections
and everybody, like, if you're gonna vote,
you vote for the presidential election
and you'll vote for some other things.
Right. But actually,
to effect change, now, first of all,
we believe in that, vote for the national elections.
We go to votelikeabeast.com, get registered to vote,
whatever, that is, we believe in that.
But really, you have a lot more power in your vote
at a local level, right?
And- Right.
I'm a bit cynical when it comes to politicians in general,
and I think many of us are, right?
Because you think about it,
you got sort of the, you've got the Senate, right?
Just a hundred people.
And that's a pretty impressive position
to make it in politics.
Like if you make it to the Senate, like that's a big deal.
House of Representatives, little bit easier.
Right.
And I think it's reflected in the nature, like.
The vibe. There's some people in the house
that are just absolute nuts.
I mean, there's people in the Senate who are nuts too,
but there's some people in the house who are just like,
how does this person become a national politician,
a representative?
And then you go even lower than that
and you get into like state legislators.
Yeah, you can get pretty freewheeling.
The people who make a series of life decisions
where they find themselves in a position
to run for local office,
you know, this isn't necessarily the best and the brightest.
It's not, I mean, I'm just saying,
this is, I'm just saying that,
but those elections,
those people are actually really, really important.
So when it comes to the mayor of your town,
I'm gonna be kidding, it's one thing to say like,
mayor of Los Angeles or Burbank,
but like just a mayor of your average town,
like that's a really,
I think it's a really important position.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I'm a little too intimidated to sign up for that,
even in a small town.
Seems like, I don't know,
I couldn't see you doing it either.
Well, I mean, I jokingly talk about political campaigns
all the time because I have just enough blind confidence
to get to a place where I feel like I've got something
to say and could motivate somebody.
And maybe I could believe in something enough
where I felt like political will
was the most important part of it,
but I'm never gonna allow myself to do that.
Do you have a recommendation?
I do.
I think by the time you hear this,
you will have seen Justin Long
as a guest on Good Mythical Morning.
Yes.
And he was there to promote his movie, Barbarian.
It's a scary movie.
The horror movie that I saw last night.
Yeah, let me tell you, it was so good.
Oh, it's so scary and it's funny and it's creative.
The way that it was done, it was just kind of innovative
and kind of keeps you on the edge of your seat.
And Justin Long is great in it.
He's just, he's really funny.
He just plays a complete a-hole,
but he plays such a good a-hole.
And I just highly recommend it
if you're into horror movies.
When he came on the show, when he first met us,
he looked at you and he said,
you look like one of the henchmen from Superman II.
And what was the guy's name? He went on to say, you know, You look like one of the henchmen from Superman II.
And what was the guy's name? He went on to say, you know you look like-
It was Zod's henchman.
He's like, it's almost uncanny.
It's almost uncanny.
And then we pulled up.
It was not Zod, it was-
This guy.
Non. Non.
Non.
Non just grunted.
Non from the Superman wiki. And it was not a compliment.
Justin Long called you Non.
And I will say, there is a resemblance.
Henchman to Zod.
Yeah.
The real guy's name is Jack O...
Schnitch.
Halloran.
Halloran. Halloran.
That sounds like witness protection.
Oh, he had a lot of,
yeah, he's quite a character actor.
Look at him.
I do have a passing resemblance.
Like he could be my brother.
Yeah.
Because he went on to say,
you look like him, but you're more handsome,
because once we brought up a picture of him.
You're like a handsome version of him.
Handsome version of not.
I didn't hold it against him.
Keep returning the favor.
See the Barbarian.
He was great in that movie.
We'll speak at you next week.
Remember to call us, give us your responses.
We'll play them at the end.
188-
EarPod 1.
Hashtag EarBusiness.
Hey, Rhett and Link.
Probably already a little late to this one,
but I just wanted to let you guys know that I was 25 when I learned that zippers lock.
I didn't know this. If you put them all the way down, they lock, and you can't pull open your pants.
Have a mythical day.
Hey, Rhett and Link.
I just wanted to say that I listen to almost every podcast and
it's crazy to see how the podcasts have grown. But I recently, well, not so recently, went
to therapy because both of you proved to me that nothing has to be wrong with you to go
to therapy. And little did I realize that throughout therapy, the anxiety and stress were going away and listening
to your podcast and growing with you felt amazing and I'm so proud to say that my therapist even
says that I graduated from therapy now it felt like I was kind of going through a breakup with
my therapist but it was amazing and I just have to thank you two for being there along the side
with me and uh I guess you're my new therapist?
Woo-wee!
Let me tell you something, Rhett.
You wrote a hell of a blues tune there.
Kill a man.
I'm telling you what.
My name is Hunter.
I'm out in Michigan.
I just got to tell you what, man.
I'm proud of you.
This album is freaking awesome.
Okay?
So keep doing it.
Put out another one.
Get Link on that shit, man.
Love you guys.