Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett’s Family Trip to San Francisco | Ear Biscuits Ep.320
Episode Date: January 31, 2022Coming to you from the new and improved Ear Biscuits studio, Rhett details his family’s trip to San Francisco, talks about his oldest son preparing for college, and attempts to recreate a family pho...to, 18 years later. Check it out in this episode of Ear Biscuits. Get 50% your first lesson for a limited time at Preply.com/ear To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is Mythical.
Every Canadian dairy farm is unique.
That's why every farmer takes charge of their own unique environmental farm plan.
Also drawing from 57 environmental practices.
My plan starts with soil health.
And part of mine includes biodiversity.
Why care so much?
Because Canadian dairy farmers hold themselves
to higher standards. That's what's behind the Blue Cow logo. Dairy Farmers of Canada.
Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time.
I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of dim lighting,
which is a little bit different,
we'll talk about that in a second.
Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna be talking about my recent trip to San Francisco,
the San Francisco treat.
Yeah, did you get some treats?
I did get some treats.
You know, it was quite an experience, made some memories.
What was the mission?
The mission was college visits for Locke,
trying to decide on where he's gonna go.
So there's a few schools in the San Francisco area
that we visited.
So yeah, you're entering that phase of fatherhood
that I went through last year,
and then next year with Lincoln,
I'll be going through it again.
Second time won't be a breeze though.
I hope so.
I mean, it's like, I wonder what you've learned from me
and I wonder what I can learn from you for next time.
It's funny, I wasn't thinking about what,
I wasn't, well, the funny thing is is that
if I recall correctly,
Lily kinda, she kinda had her mindset
on what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go,
and there wasn't like, like Locke has applied
to like 25 different schools.
You know, we visited multiple schools.
We're going for a spring break.
Now the spring break trip is shaping up
and is turning into a tour
of the Northeastern United States.
Oh, wow.
Including New York where, you know,
so some schools up there that he's interested in.
That's why I think, maybe I can learn from you
because I didn't, you know,
ours was not nearly that involved.
Yeah, it was like a handful of schools that she applied to
and in the timing of the pandemic
of it all, there was, it was much more limited
what we were capable of doing and what colleges
were capable of giving us as far as like information.
Well, the funny thing is, is we don't, you know,
we don't, McLaughlin's are not great planners
and so we have not taken any official tours,
we haven't talked to anyone official.
Like literally one of the campuses we were walking around
and there was like a group of official kids
with like an official representative
and we're just like hey guy, losers.
We can go wherever we want to.
I bet you're learning lots of stuff
that's gonna be pertinent to your decision.
We don't need an official person.
But we're going to the snack shop.
Yeah right, I mean we make our own rules, man.
I feel that.
I'll spend some time talking about that,
but I also wanna talk about San Francisco.
Turns out there's a lot to talk about
as it relates to San Francisco.
And I saw a picture that you texted Christy and I,
and I'm very intrigued.
I wanna talk about the specifics of this picture
that you sent us too.
So I'm excited about that.
But yeah, we're also excited about the fact
that the Ear Biscuits set has been updated, our backdrop.
This reflects an expanding universe of Mythical podcasts.
That is our, that's our vision.
And we got plans to back it up, baby.
Matter of fact, the first new podcast
coming out of Mythical Studios is
Trevor Talks Too Much Tomorrow.
Episode one comes out.
You know Trevor, he's one of the Mythical Kitcheneers.
Well, there's a few things about Trevor.
He's the goofy young guy who talks too much.
Trevor, I don't know if he is still the youngest person
to work at Mythical Entertainment, but you know what?
I mean, he's a Z-er, a Gen Z-er.
And so he's interested in things and talks about things
that we're too old to understand or appreciate.
Stop talking to us, just start talking to other people
you're interested in talking to.
So he's gonna have guests.
He's gonna have guests that are kind of in his world.
One of the guests, we're not gonna mention
because we don't know, you never know
who you're gonna get in here.
I do know one of the guests.
I mean, I have heard of one of the guests
and actually have had conversations with one of the guests.
But the other ones, I'm like, listen,
the fact that I don't know who they are is a good sign
that Trevor's doing the right thing.
But if what we're saying intrigues you,
check out his podcast.
What we're saying doesn't intrigue you,
don't listen to us, just check out his podcast.
Don't let us be the reason you don't check out his podcast.
Trevor's a lovely man.
Trevor talks too much.
Wherever podcasts are found. It was almost the name of the podcast. Trevor talks too much. Wherever podcasts are found.
Was almost the name of the podcast.
That was my vote, Trevor's a lovely man.
Also, there's a YouTube channel
dedicated to the visual version
where you can check out this backdrop
with his own signage up here.
But apparently-
He doesn't get our round table,
or I think they-
They just put something over it.
But apparently this wood, which I love wood
and I love touching it, is a waveform.
We've been told that it may or may not say mythical is love.
It also could just be someone farting.
Yeah.
But- It looks like it could be
one of my farts. It's very beautiful.
I like to fart, love.
Could you, what do you think? Pretty cool, huh?
I think farts.
If you're just listening to this, pretty cool, huh?
This would be a fart that started strong
and had a whimper in the middle then came back.
Yeah, yeah. And really picked up again,
which are my favorite kinds.
Right. You've made people think
they're over and you bring it right back.
It's called breaking the second wind.
Yeah.
Okay, let's talk about this trip.
Now, you've made the trip to the northern part of our state.
I wanna talk a little bit about that area
that you have to drive through.
I have not gone north of San Francisco.
Well, neither have I, really.
Okay.
There's still a lot more.
A whole lot more.
So yeah, I still wanna go up that way.
I'm talking about, this is the experience, okay?
Just in case you've never taken this route.
And I'm talking about being on the five,
the interstate five, going north.
You take it out of town, you go past
the sort of the remnants of civilization
on the north side of Los Angeles, like up to Santa Clarita,
and you kinda enter into this mountain pass.
And all of a sudden, it's like okay,
there's no people here anymore, I mean there's mountains.
It's a wilderness area kind of.
It's actually where we drove when we took Shepherd up
and did some off-roading, there's like a little
off-road place there. On the vlog channel.
But you drive through this and then you kinda come down
out of the mountains and it's very, very sudden.
Mountains and then all of a sudden flatness
for as far as you can see.
And it is for like four and a half hours straight.
You are on what feels like,
having just recently driven across North Texas,
feels like North Texas, like flat and just crops.
Yeah.
Like this is where the stuff that's grown
in California is grown.
It's the Central Valley, right?
18 wheelers on the road.
And it is so desolate.
Yeah, it's a tough drive.
Yeah, because it just never changes.
Yeah. But did you,
have you noticed this?
The people who grow the food in this area
have very, they seem to have a very particular
political viewpoint on our governor.
Have you noticed this?
Well, yeah, they tried to recall him.
No, no, no, I'm saying,
I'm not talking about just Northern California.
I'm talking about specifically the people who own the farms.
There's all these signs calling out Governor Newsom
about water.
Yeah. You notice this?
And it's just like, and there's a play on words.
It's like, give us back our damn water.
But they spell damn with a D-A-M.
Oh.
And then there's the sign,
like the signs sort of educate you as you go along.
There's other ones that say,
70% of our water flows into the oceans without us.
So, you know, obviously there's some,
there's two difference of,
there's a difference of opinion here.
Yeah.
There's probably like a progressive environmental side
that's saying that we can't just dam up
and use all this water for whatever habitats, et cetera.
I don't know any of the details.
I'm just kind of pulling this out of my butt right now.
And then the second thing is,
well, we want to grow the crops,
let us just use the water,
let us dam this stuff up so we can use it, whatever.
And so these two ideals are sort of bumping up
against each other for like four hours.
And it's just sign after sign after sign after sign.
There's no, because there's really like,
there's hardly any billboards, it's just these.
You saw all these signs and you never figured it out?
I think the signs have worked their way into my mind
and now I'm like, Governor Newsom,
give us back our damn water!
Like I mean, this propaganda has worked for me.
I don't know the details, so I'm actually,
I don't know where I come down on this actually, I don't know where I come down
on this issue because I don't have any idea
what is at stake.
I should probably look into it.
But that was your first stop, okay.
But then did you notice that the desolation turns
into rolling hills with no trees?
And it looks, I mean, it looks grassy.
There'll be some-
It's beautiful grassy.
Some yellow flowers.
We've benefited from a lot of rain,
which is very unusual.
It's very brown.
But once you, I'm talking about,
you're almost in the Bay area.
Okay.
You guys like to go to the Santa Cruz area.
So at some point you kind of go off of the five.
Right.
But we were going all the way up to San Francisco
and the way that it was navigating us was coming
all the way up through Oakland, almost to Berkeley,
and then cutting across the bay into San Francisco, right?
So for like another two hours, I mean the whole trip
is like five and a half hours, so it's like three
and a half hour, four hours, and then like the last
hour and a half is these rolling hills with nothing on them except cattle.
Yeah. And windmills.
It's pretty cool.
It's beautiful, but this is where this dynamic begins,
where I begin pointing out things.
I'm totally dadding it when I'm driving.
Everybody's on their phones.
I'm not on a phone, I'm on a car.
Yeah, you have to see everything. And I'm like, guys when I'm driving. Everybody's on their phones. I'm not on a phone, I'm on a car. Yeah, you have to see everything.
And I'm like, guys, look at those cows.
In fact, we literally had this conversation,
Jessie and I did, and she ended up tweeting about it
because she thought it was so funny.
I said, look at those cows just living up there
on those hills.
And she said, I've already looked at the cows.
And I was just like, but look at them now.
Now that I've given you a philosophical point of view
on them, right?
Yeah.
Let's be thoughtful about these cows.
And I don't really wanna go into, listen,
some people say that the tendency to want people
to look at things is narcissism.
Okay, whatever.
I think it is, what I want is I want a connection, man.
It's just like when you're with somebody,
you're watching a movie, you want to bring somebody
into a collective experience.
I'm just looking for a connection with my family, man.
I get it, man.
That's all dads want.
You're a dad who wants, when you're all together,
you want to have a shared focal point,
and if that's a cow, so be it.
And the dad's job, the dad's role in the family is to find the focal point
and to exclaim it.
Yeah, just grab everybody's face and say,
Look at that cow! Look at that cow living his life!
He sits up there living his life!
Just think about those cows, though, man. They just make their lives
on these hills.
Hey, I'm not on your trip.
Don't drag me into this.
But one of the things that started happening
as we got closer is I started realizing
that I was literally seeing the screensaver,
not screensaver, but the background for,
what is it, Windows Vista?
Yeah.
The two beautiful green hills
with the little yellow flowers on them
and the beautiful blue sky behind them.
Oh.
The reason that you see that is because
you're getting into Silicon Valley, man.
Silicon, Silicon.
You're up there where all this stuff
is actually originated and made,
and so I was like, I bet you I'm looking at these two hills.
I bet you these hills are,
I think I passed the Microsoft Hills, man.
I think it's an early Dell commercial too.
Dell's probably up there too.
That's why the Dell is cows.
Is cows.
Ah, yes, your focal point.
We've just unlocked the mysteries of Dell.
Is Dell still around?
Hell yeah, man.
I remember you had it.
They sponsored an episode like last, Dell Small Business, man. Is Dell still around? Hell yeah, man. I remember you had it. They sponsored an episode like last,
Dell Small Business, man.
Is Dell still around?
They sponsored two episodes of Ear Biscuits,
this podcast, within the last 12 months.
I remember that now.
You're still around?
I meant now, yes.
Is it in our contract for LinkedIn
to know that they're still around?
Because we might need to amend it.
It's been a year.
It's been a year, a lot can happen to a cow in a year.
But that's where the cows come from.
All right, and then you're, okay.
See, these are the things.
I see the cow, I've seen the cows.
These are the things that dads are thinking about.
You know, just let them have their moments, okay?
And when you're experiencing something
that you don't see all the time
and you see that the rest of your family is uninterested or in their phone or asleep, you're experiencing something that you don't see all the time, and you see that the rest of your family is
uninterested or in their phone or asleep,
you're like, you gotta, hey, this is a moment.
Well, I end up saying things like,
guys, whatever is on your phone right now,
whether it's a game or Snapchat or Twitter,
it will still be there in five minutes,
but you know what won't be here?
Those cows.
I mean, there'll be new cows.
There'll be new cows.
There'll be more cows, different cows,
that look exactly the same as the cows
that you can see right now, but just look at those cows.
But you kind of, you know, excuse my French,
you blew your wad on the cows when you should've saved it
for like seeing the skyline of San Francisco
for the first time.
I was trying to train the family to be,
if I could get them to look at cows,
I could get them to look at the Golden Gate Bridge.
And I think blowing your wad is a firearm thing.
It's like a gunpowder firearm thing.
So I don't think it's French.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
I agree with that. Yeah.
It's think it's been co-opted by the sexually minded,
but that is not what I was thinking of.
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I'll tell you some more things I was thinking of
in a moment, but we do want to remind you,
even though Link already said it,
we do want to remind you that Trevor's podcast,
Trevor Talks Too Much, has a YouTube channel,
just like your biscuits does.
Subscribe to it.
Go ahead and see, you know what?
Go ahead, go over there.
Even if you're not gonna listen and watch, just subscribe.
Give it a shot.
For support, support Trevor.
Try new things.
Show him your support.
It's not easy to start new things.
Just ask a cow.
That analogy didn't work.
It fell apart pretty quickly.
I can't support you on that front,
but I do totally understand.
Startups like in Silicon Valley.
Okay, there we go.
There we go.
Trevor's podcast is a startup.
Trevor talks too much.
Super proud to be launching another podcast.
More to follow.
That's right, we're cooking up some more podcasts for you.
I wanna talk about the process of a college tour.
And again, I made clear that this is not
an official college tour.
This is just a family walking around a college campus.
You're just showing up.
Pulling on doors, seeing what's open.
Parking in places that you may not should park,
hoping you don't get towed.
Trying to interpret parking signs.
That's a gift of mine.
Oh, it is? Yeah.
Living in Los Angeles, I've had to learn how to take
three different rules that are unrelated
and figure out if the moment right now,
I'm able to park here.
Yeah.
San Francisco has the same deal.
I really wish it were diagrams,
like a Venn diagram of,
and then I could go up to it
and I could put my finger on where I'm at
and then I could look and see if I could park there or not.
Well, in the future, the whole-
Or maybe use a laser pointer.
The whole curb will be green or red.
Can I park here now or can I not?
Yeah, LED that thing.
Yeah, LEDs are cheap, man.
Yeah. LED the whole,
if I was mayor of Los Angeles, we would LED all curbs.
Get rid of the signs.
That's a fun idea.
Yeah, I mean, just vote for me.
I'll figure it out.
What's your stance on the water situation?
You know what, I'm taking that under advisement.
Okay.
And I believe both in crops
and in ecological environments.
And I believe that there is a way that we can both win.
We can all win.
California can win.
Now I'm running for governor.
Did you go, I mean,
when we were looking at the few campuses that we looked at,
I mean, you really couldn't go in anything at the time.
So we were like looking, peering through windows,
nobody was there.
Yeah, so we- We're walking around.
Yeah, you can go in. You got a little bit more,
things are a little more loose now.
You can go into a few places.
Like the student centers are open and like bookstore,
actually the bookstore one place was closed
because we are still in a little bit of a,
at the time that we were doing this,
we were in a little bit of a surge.
So, but the thing that I'm trying to be helpful, right?
Like it's what you're trying to do as a parent,
usually always, if you're being healthy,
you're trying to actually be helpful.
And so, the only way to do that usually
is you picture yourself at that age.
And what would I want somebody to tell me?
And I try not to, I really try not to do that
because I've found that not to be effective,
but also with Locke in particular,
like the moment that he senses a dad-ism
or sort of a lecture or a perspective coming from on high,
he bristles at it.
Was the Cal thing a wake up call for you
that you're then applied to being on campus?
The Cal thing was- Don't answer that.
Just tell me your story and that's gonna be my question.
Well, I can go ahead and answer that question for you
because the Cal thing was more me and Jesse.
Like the kids are so in their own worlds
in the back of the phone.
They didn't even hear you.
And this was, it was just me talking to my wife.
But you know, and the thing is,
is I see the way that Locke is so similar to me
in the way that he places himself in an environment
and he, you know, he immediately fast forwards through the next four years
and it's like this is what it would be like
and this is where I would live
and this is where I would live after
and this is the kind of job that I would have.
He can very quickly picture his future
at this particular place and that's kinda how,
and I'm the same way, I do it kinda just, it's my nature
and that's how you figure out if you are into it.
I do the same thing if I read a book.
I do the same thing as I'm driving across the frickin' state.
It's like, I'm reading these signs,
I'm like, yeah, give us our damn water, Newsome.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's what I do.
I embody the perspective and see what it feels like.
And then I pull back from it
once I've kind of investigated it.
I'm very open in that way, right?
And to like the possibilities of the future.
And so-
So you would expect him to be excited
at each place he went to.
And if there wasn't an initial excitement,
and that's a huge red flag for somebody
who can embody a life there,
like in a fantastical kind of way.
But this is the thing,
because he does that so naturally,
I don't, with Locke in particular,
there's none of, I don't have to do
what I think is probably more typical,
it's just like, hey man, think some things about this.
You know? Yeah.
With Locke, it's like, hey dude,
let's pull back a little bit,
and you know, because the way I feel about it is,
is that whatever mood he's in when he's visiting
a certain place and the timing works out,
it's just like the old principle of you get married
based on when you meet somebody and life circumstances.
They're super practical, like completely unromantic.
There's no such thing as soulmates,
which I'm not saying I subscribe to,
but some people would say marriage is just
is who you are in love with at the time
when you could get married, right?
I don't necessarily believe that,
but there is an element of circumstance with who,
and hopefully you get lucky and you're with the right person.
I feel that way about my marriage.
But when it comes to colleges,
it's like you think about how circumstantial,
and again, we just chose between Carolina and State, right?
That was the only two schools we applied to.
Got accepted in both.
And then like, I remember taking a tour of UNC,
and again, if you remember this,
I was probably talking to you like,
this is, we would do this, and this is how,
I'm living out the next four years and being like, this is what it's gonna this and this is how, I'm living out the next four years
and being like, this is what it's gonna be like
and then going to state and doing the same thing.
In the end, it was-
I do have a hard time remembering the specifics of it,
but knowing how different the campus is-
UNC was just the two of us.
We drove ourselves up there, I remember that specifically.
Oh really? No parents.
We just drove up there together and walked around.
And it's a really impressive campus.
So it was very enticing.
But the entire time, like we were never Carolina fans.
I was always a state fan and you were a Duke fan.
I was a Duke fan,
because I was from out of town.
It was like, we felt, we didn't want anybody to see us.
Like, not that anybody would.
Yeah, you may have felt that way.
I didn't have strong feelings about that. Like, not that anybody would. Yeah, you may have felt that way. I didn't have a strong feelings about that.
My brother was already there.
You know, my brother was at school there.
We ended up going to state just because it was like,
oh yeah, I'm taking physics and I like Mr. Bryant
who's teaching it.
You know what I'm saying?
It was such a, oh yeah.
But because I know that that's how kids make decisions,
it's, and Locke can get so passionate about something,
I'm trying to sort of modulate, mitigate,
whatever the word is, and then the opportunity
to go to a basketball game presented itself.
Oh, okay.
And this particular school that we were looking at,
Locke gets on his phone the night before and he's like,
"'Dad, they're playing Gonzaga.
Gonzaga, number two team in the nation
with the number one player in the nation,
it's like a seven foot point guard.
I don't even remember the dude's name,
but he's like a seven foot point guard.
That's like very, it would be amazing to watch.
Just imagine that.
It'd be a good game and it might seal the deal for like, oh, I had such a great experience, I have to go. Well, that's what I was thinking. And I was also thinking like very, it would be amazing to watch, you know, just imagine that. It'd be a good game and it might seal the deal
for like, oh, I had such a great experience,
I have to go.
Well, that's what I was thinking.
And I was also thinking like you,
cause this is a relatively small school
with like a gym that's like the size of like Campbell's Gym
and going and seeing like Gonzaga play in a place like that.
So we go on SeatGeek, not a sponsor,
and we find three tickets, not four.
And Jesse's like, it's fine, I don't really care.
I'll just like, well, I'll go to a coffee shop,
hang out while you guys go to the game.
So we're like, okay, three tickets.
Last minute Gonzaga tickets, 150 bucks a pop.
Oh, okay.
So it's like, this is a, but I'm like,
hey, listen, let's do this because this is-
What else are you gonna be doing?
It's a cool experience, but I was like, hey, listen, let's do this because this is. What else are you gonna be doing? It's a cool experience, but I was also thinking, man,
even though they're definitely gonna get beat by Gonzaga,
this is going, if he sees other students there
and he has this experience,
this might seal the deal for him,
but that's not necessarily a good thing.
I'm worried about it, but I'm also like,
I kinda wanna see this game.
Okay.
So we get the tickets tickets and then game day,
which was the next day, we go up to the gym,
you know, like half an hour early.
And the guy like sees, I pull out the tickets,
he's like, so we're operating at 25% capacity today
due to COVID, so we're gonna scan your tickets.
If they scan green, you can come in.
If they scan red, you can't. And he said, and the way we're gonna scan your tickets. If they scan green, you can come in. If they scan red, you can't.
And he said, and the way we're doing that is,
is that all season ticket holders are allowed to come in,
but anyone who bought single game tickets
and then resold them,
they've already been refunded for these tickets.
And so it's not necessarily a scam,
but they should have contacted SeatGeek
and taken the tickets off.
And so he's like, I don't know if yours is season tickets
or single, the only way to find out is to scan it.
You're like, oh my goodness.
And I'm like, oh man, this could change.
I'm thinking, I'm on a dad level at this point, right?
So it's like the green, for me,
represents him being excited about this school
and the red, I'm like, this is gonna ruin everything.
He's gonna have this sour taste in his mouth
about this school and he's not gonna wanna go.
And did the guy tell you that if it was red,
that it was, you didn't get your money back or you did?
He said, well, he didn't tell me that yet.
Okay, well, go ahead then.
He scanned them and they scanned red.
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And I was like, oh gosh, man, dang,
we've been playing this whole day,
coming down here to watch this game.
And like, Locke is obviously really disappointed.
Shepherd's just kind of chilling.
At that point he said,
you need to contact SeatGeek because in a person's name,
I'm not gonna say the name,
the person's name is on the ticket.
And so like the things that we were saying
about this person who had done this to us was very,
it was a running joke the rest of the week
about how we were going to hunt this person down.
Obviously we didn't have to do that
because we contacted SeatGeek.
And actually, well, they're like investigating it,
but they said that you will get up to 120%
of your money back.
Well, you might make money off of it.
Yeah, this might be a new way to like make some side money.
Okay, yeah, you got it.
Not go to basketball games.
But I think because it- So you had to pivot.
It happened with multiple people,
I think we'll get our money back.
But it was interesting
because like Locke was definitely disappointed and then,
but he's kind of been very interested in this place
and it kind of was a, threw a little bit of cold water on him
but then I felt like it was,
it kind of centered him a little bit
and he's still very into the possibility of going
but he was very excited about the next place
and he's very excited about places that we're gonna see,
he's gonna hear back from soon,
the places we might see in the spring.
And so I think it actually was a blessing in disguise
because if we had gotten the green check-
Yeah, it might falsely weigh the scales, tip the scales.
But one of the things that I found myself thinking,
and I wonder if this is-
Might really just wanna go to Gonzaga
is really what, you know.
If this is the case with you, not just,
I mean, even just like helping Lily move into college,
like being on a college campus,
Jessie and I were trying to explain to the kids
how different our college experience was.
There's all these like groups of people doing things
and like clubs and activities. There's all these like groups of people doing things and like clubs and activities.
There's so much to do in college.
And I was like, I don't think you guys understood.
We did two things.
The first thing we did is we went to class.
And the second thing we did
is everything with Campus Crusade.
Yeah.
We did not do anything else.
Our entire social life, every single activity that we had
was just, it was our campus ministry
that we were involved with, which, you know,
again, I don't have any regrets about where
we're all this led. There were a lot of people involved.
So it was like, from a social standpoint, you know.
We made a lot of great connections
and we had a lot of good relationships.
I don't regret any of that,
but it was just so interesting how going in
with such a singular worldview that had already,
you know, solidified and really hadn't solidified,
but it felt like it has solidified.
Yeah. It just, I was like, man,
that's one thing that I see when I'm on a college campus,
just like, there's so much to like learn and experience
and do that I just completely seal myself off from
because of my worldview at the time.
Well, I mean, Lily's experience so far has been,
the opportunities have been pretty limited.
The majority of her classes, she's on a quarter schedule.
So it's like, and she's like three out of her four classes
were online, even though she was like taking them
from her bed or from her desk in her dorm room.
And only one was in person.
And now this year, things have been delayed
getting going again, everything's been online,
at least temporarily, you know,
as they're monitoring things, but she's,
I mean, she is on campus.
And so, I mean, it was like,
man, if classes continue to only be virtual,
it's like, should we rethink this whole thing?
You know, it's like you start to think those things
because her experience is-
Because it's not any cheaper.
She's got it, no, she's got her roommates.
She's met a few people.
She's doing, you know, she got involved.
She joined a garage band.
That's cool. Which I was real,
you know, I'm like, this is cool.
This is another, this is another experience that you haven't had
that was so formative for us,
more in high school than college for us.
But I'd still get this sense that like,
clubs really aren't kicking into gear
and the amount of camp,
the campus life is still very stifled by COVID.
So I'm frustrated on her behalf that her first year
is kind of a half college experience.
But at this point we're like, it's still going good
and it's definitely better than nothing.
And she's trying to make the most of it.
And we're just trying to encourage her.
It's harder to say, well, go out and get involved
in this group or, you know, expand your potential,
your pool of friends, you know?
So it's not just whoever you were assigned with
is who you're with, but, you know, have some autonomy
and being able to like meet people,
get involved in different circles so that you can start
making some decisions about the type of people
you wanna associate yourself with.
I think as a parent, I get concerned when it's like,
this is who you're assigned to live with.
And you're kind of limited beyond that, you know?
So that's an, I'm excited about the band thing
just because of what I said that was formative for us,
but also just that it represents
an overlapping but different friend group, you know?
So you think about Lot going off next year,
hopefully things will have gotten, you know,
gotten to a point where it can be a dynamic experience
and it will be for Lily and then for Lincoln too.
Well, because when you walk around a college campus
and you see the buildings and you see the residence halls
and you see the gathering areas,
that actually hit me.
It was like, man, this place is designed to be at.
It's not designed to be at home
and you taking online classes.
Yeah.
You know, that's the wonderful thing
about a classic university experience,
which let me just say, has become,
first of all, has always been
and is becoming more and more a privilege, right?
But also I think it's becoming less and less of a necessity
because for a lot of people, if you don't have a way,
if you're not getting a scholarship,
if you're not finding a way to pay for it,
whether it's your family or your scholarship
or you're working through college or whatever,
like for most people, it's gonna be taking on a bunch
of debt and not necessarily having a job
to pay that debt down.
So I do think that, I also had this feeling
as I walked around and looked at all these buildings
that kids were just beginning to enjoy,
but for the past two years,
they've just kind of been sitting there in a lot of ways.
Mm-hmm.
This college campus that's not being taken advantage of,
it's being paid for by a bunch of kids
who are at home on their laptops.
But I was just thinking about like, yeah, this is not,
this isn't for everybody and it's gonna become, it has a,
you sort of feel like you're walking through something
that's just not a lasting way of doing higher education.
It's like take advantage of it while you can
kind of feel because there's, I mean,
you have to think that all these people
taking online classes has, well, first of all,
I think we can all agree,
they're not as good as in-person classes and we don't want that to be the new
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But, no, good God.
I look over Lily's shoulder when she, you know,
she didn't go back as early as we planned
because she was like, I'll just stay another week
because I'm gonna take all my classes online,
see my high school friends
that I've still been hanging out with,
have some quality time with them before I go back.
I'm looking over her shoulder at like a lecture.
She's like eating breakfast and like walking around the house
with it on her phone and with her, I was like, take your earbuds out.
Let me listen to this.
And it was just some guy just, I mean,
just drowning on and on and on about just like speaking
extemporaneously and like trying to find his words.
He might be doing that in class as well, but.
Yeah, but when you're there in the room
and there's other people and you're like, okay.
Yeah, it's not as hard.
It can't, I mean, that,
it's just so hard when it's just a screen.
Well, and getting out of your,
I think for me, part of it is getting out of your route,
getting out of your house and literally having to like,
put a backpack on and walk to a place
and go into an institution of higher learning
with other people who are there for the same purpose.
Yeah.
There's a lot of psychology in that
that is helpful to most people.
But there's no doubt that this,
that COVID has accelerated the shift, right?
Because people are like, whoa, I'm paying,
you know, in some cases like $50,000 a year
for like a private school?
For like University of Phoenix?
You know what I'm saying?
Like nothing against people who have online degrees.
I'm just saying that the difference in value,
the value proposition between these two things
over the past couple of years has really, really gone down
the difference in the value proposition
because you're not really,
I mean, you're not getting that much different
than what you would have gotten from something online,
but you're still paying so much for it.
And in the meantime, the prices just continue to go up.
I mean, listen, as a person who's potentially
considering a run for governor,
I gotta say this is a real problem.
This is a real problem. This is a real problem.
We gotta figure this out.
Well, I mean, I wanted to ask,
at this point, do you have a sense of like,
and this is kind of switching gears,
but still within parenting,
of the stakes associated with this decision?
Because you can really, I mean, I think for me,
I could really overthink it and kind of wig out over it.
It's like, you know, if Locke gets accepted
at multiple places, he's making this decision
that then he's keenly aware because he's future-minded
that it's like this leads to this leads to this leads to this
and there's a fork in the road that that leads to that
leads to that leads to that and never the two shall meet.
It's like, maybe you can overthink it, over dramatize it,
and the butterfly effect of it, so to speak,
but you can really get in your head about it
because it's a huge milestone decision.
And you're not quite there yet, so maybe it's not.
But I think about this.
There's a few things that are helpful in this particular regard.
The first thing is Locke's nature, right?
So even if I had a specific plan
that I thought was best for him,
I am incapable and believe that anyone would be incapable
of prescribing that to him in a way that would be effective.
So it would be kind of a hopeless,
it'd be a lost cause to try to tell him where he needs to go
or tell him what's best for him.
He is going to learn things his own way.
I can provide advice and I can provide information,
but he's so on his own that I have such little influence
in that area that it feels like there's less pressure.
The second thing is just a general,
I think it's very healthy,
the thing that we've been talking about a lot
and Jessie and I have been talking a lot about
is loving detachment.
You know, the principle of supporting-
So loving detachment is not a verb and a noun,
it's a term.
Yeah.
You don't enjoy being detached.
It's practicing something called loving.
It is detachment that is loving.
Okay, what is that?
So it is, I mean, first of all,
your motive is you're obviously you love your kid
and you are invested in their future.
You're helping them, you're providing them with resources,
you're doing all the stuff that you have control over, right?
But what you do not have control over
is the decisions that they make.
You have control over how they're supported
and you can have control over like whether or not
you take them to the school to look at it, right?
But you don't have control over what they choose.
And if you think you have control over that, you are sorely mistaken. And if you exert control at it, right? But you don't have control over what they choose. And if you think you have control over that,
you are sorely mistaken.
And if you exert control over it, then that's-
It will backfire.
That could be trouble.
And so this isn't just to do with college.
This is a principle that we have sort of been
really talking about a lot over the past couple of years.
Jesse and I have been talking about
just raising kids in general,
but especially raising teenagers
as you begin to get to that threshold
where they're beginning to become their own people
and they are making their own decisions about things.
And if, you know, kids are different,
like I've said multiple times,
Locke is on the high end of the spectrum
when it comes to autonomy and self-motivation
and just like his will, right?
And so you have to, this is the only approach
that you cannot dominate him, right?
He's an Enneagram eight and their greatest fear
is being dominated.
That is the fear of the eight, right?
And so that's why sometimes you can be like,
let's listen to this book on tape,
or let's try this, or let's do that,
or let's go eat at this place.
And he's like, no, let's not do that.
It's in his nature to be like,
oh, I'm not about to be dominated by you, am I?
Right?
Okay.
And so it leads to people who tend to be doers
and self-motivated people who go out
and make shit happen for themselves a lot.
But it also leads to people who are gonna learn things
their way and maybe learn things the hard way sometimes.
So, this is not easy and loving detachment.
So you have to, you gotta still bring the love
to the situation, but yeah,
so to answer your question specifically,
100% I am aware of this dynamic,
which is the slightest little thing,
the butterfly flapping its wings,
could have this catastrophic or very monumental effect,
right, and so where he decides to go to school
is going to determine his life path.
But this is the third piece of the puzzle for Locke
is that he, I mean, he's probably gonna transfer.
No matter where he goes.
You know what I'm saying?
Like he's so like, he's always looking to mix it up
and try something new that I just don't even have them.
Like, I mean, maybe he'll stay at the same place,
but he's gonna wanna be something else. He's gonna the same place, but he's gonna wanna be something else.
He's gonna wanna do something else.
He's gonna wanna try something else.
He's gonna wanna go to a different place.
And so to me, this is just like,
this is the nature of him
and he's going to do a bunch of different things.
And I wanted to help him make the best decision possible,
but he's probably gonna change his mind anyway.
It's kind of, it's akin to my experience with Lily
in that like, I really built up the rite of passage
of her leaving.
I mean, you can go back and listen to those episodes
and like, there's a couple, like in that,
when I was in that zone of sending her off
and like dealing with it,
I said that I dramatized it
to fully embrace the experience,
but it was, you know, it was, okay, she's going off
and she's, our relationship is different
and she's gonna come home a different person
and she's not, she doesn't live with us anymore.
And lo and behold, you know,
after last Thanksgiving and Christmas,
and then like the pandemic situation and virtual learning,
it's like, she's still home way too much.
And I'm like, man, it's like,
we got over that really quick.
It's like, get on back to college, kind of a message.
It's like, yeah, so it's as big of a decision as it is,
you know, there's always room to pivot
and you're kind of always looking for, okay,
do I need to, is there a change on the horizon or not?
Yeah, and you know, this is-
Takes a little of the pressure off.
This is really something that I,
it wasn't even on my radar when my kids were little
and I don't necessarily think it would be on my radar
if I wasn't in therapy.
I mean, there's other ways to get to this,
but just beginning to recognize how much
of what we want for our kids is just about us.
You know?
And like, we say that it's for their best interest.
And I do believe that a big part of it is.
I think we all love our children, genuinely.
But mixed into that love is a lot of how this reflects
on you, you know? And so like, what my kid ends up doing
and who they end up being,
and like, are they gonna be like something I can be proud of?
Are they gonna be someone that I'm gonna be ashamed of?
And that's all about you.
Am I gonna be proud of them?
Am I gonna be ashamed of them?
Am I gonna need to help them?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, and there's a lot of that that I have to, Am I gonna be proud of them? Am I gonna be ashamed of them? Am I gonna need to help them? You know what I'm saying?
And there's a lot of that that I have to, that's a very difficult thing for me to just,
again, that's part of the detachment
is detaching my self-worth with my kid's self-worth
or my self-worth with my kid's, you know, accomplishments, reputation, whatever it is.
Right?
And kids can feel that too.
I mean, this is a story as old as time
that kids feel the expectations of their parents, right?
But that's been a helpful thing to just be like,
man, okay, what ends up happening with our kids,
what they end up, the career they end up choosing,
the person they end up getting into a relationship with,
whether or not they get married or not,
like all these things, and whether we like it or not,
we've got sort of these ingrained scripts in our minds,
just given where we're from,
and even though we've kind of laid aside
a very traditional way of thinking about things,
when you look at the lives that we've lived,
well, they're still pretty traditional, right?
Like we got married, we're still married.
And so there's sort of these built-in expectations
that like that, I want that exact same thing for my kid,
whether you say it out loud.
And if my kid doesn't get that,
then something's wrong with them, right?
That's the narrative that can kind of be going in your head.
Yeah, I think for me, it's an impulse,
like to believe the illusion
that I can control their happiness,
that I do know what's best.
I think when you're taking this big decision
of going off to college or any big decision
or just any life decision,
it's like there's this illusion
that you can make the right choice. A know, a lot of times it's, that is just an illusion.
It's more of like, or illusion that you can have
all the information that like makes it a mathematical,
there's a mathematical solution.
Like I tend to believe that thing
and believe that in the back of my mind
about a lot of things.
And when it comes to parenting, it's like,
I can control their, I know what's best for their happiness,
but then realizing there's so, you know,
we're making these decisions based on limited information.
And so just saying, you know what,
I'm gonna do the best I can in my role,
and even if I think something's
the best thing to do, but I'm relinquishing
that decision to them, even if they do something different,
it's saying, okay, I'm gonna lovingly detach
in a way that lets them go for it.
Yeah.
Obviously within certain reason.
Well, and it's like, I tell Lincoln, it's like,
okay, Lincoln, your like, I tell Lincoln, it's like, okay,
Lincoln, your mom and I have decided,
this is both of us talking to him,
that you gotta get a job.
You gotta get a job for a number of reasons,
but it's, and you got X number of weeks
to really start to get some answers on this front,
generate some leads.
Like, you can try to find the best place that you wanna work.
But the fact that you have to get a job is something
that we're saying for you, you need to do.
So it's like- We're looking for a pool guy.
A pool guy?
Yeah, I don't think that's steady enough work for him.
No, but I mean, what if it's just like-
Full time? Full time, one pool.
He's just constantly- He's like the lifeguard
and the pool guy. 40 hours a week.
At my pool.
I mean, he keeps it spick and span.
I pay minimum wage.
I give him 30 hours a week.
I can't do more than that.
No, I don't think I wanna have this type of,
I don't wanna bring nepotism into this.
So, I mean, what else do you have to say about the subject?
Or do you wanna switch to the San Francisco of it all?
Because you also teased that.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I wanna say, I do wanna get to that.
I had one, as you were saying that about Lincoln,
I was thinking something, it'll come to me in a second.
But then when I was like, he should be my pool boy.
You had to go for that instead.
I kind of lost it all.
Well, I was saying, hey, you gotta get a job,
but you decide what kind of job you wanna get.
As long as you get one within certain parameters,
I'm letting you make that level of the decision.
Well, and I know this is what I wanna say.
It's I don't wanna paint the picture
that parenting is this like hands off,
wish them well type approach.
I mean, I think when they're 17
and about turning 18 in a month, it kind of is.
But I think that it's recognizing
what you actually have the power to do, right?
And again, it's that I have the power
to create an environment that is catered
towards their happiness, success, flourishing,
but I don't have the power to guarantee it.
No.
I don't have the power to guarantee anything.
And that's a very difficult thing.
And one of the things that I found with Locke
being someone who doesn't want to be told what to do
is that maintaining the relationship being the goal
through ups and downs and the craziness that was COVID
and the restrictions and our kids lives
being turned upside down,
making the goal, maintaining the relationship
so that we're still communicating,
we're still talking about things,
so that then it might not be, like I have to resist
when he brings something up, potential circumstance
or something he's going through or something he knows
that could happen, getting in there and trying to dad
the situation to death and like give my perspective and try to control the outcome.
But if I can just have a conversation about something
and not come in real hard with the moral of the story,
what I've found is that he is actually interested.
He's interested in my perspective.
Now, my perspective is not gospel
is not always gonna be right.
But, you know, Jesse and I are his closest advisors
and we're doing our best.
And I think we give some pretty good advice,
but yeah, it's just that balance.
And then, I mean, like you said, once they're gone,
it's a, you're even less, there's even less of an influence.
They'll be back, yeah.
It'll still be more than you think
is what I'm telling you from the other side of that.
But I'm saying you have less of an influence.
Yeah, but not as-
With every year that passes.
But it wasn't nearly as drastic as I thought,
at least for us with Lily.
So San Francisco, I love San Francisco.
I didn't realize how much I did love it.
It's been a while since I've been there.
And we realized that we had never been there as a family.
And it was, you know, this was MLK weekend that we traveled.
And it was kind of like saying,
hey, like there's some schools out there I'm interested in.
So let's make this happen.
So we made the, it was a family trip, of course.
And I was just reminded how awesome San Francisco is.
What resonates most with you?
Because I think you might just be city deprived.
Well, I love cities and I'm a big fan of New York City.
Now I love LA and no plans to move, right?
But the thing about LA is this giant super spread out city
where you just go through miles and miles
and it's just like, I don't even know what this is.
This is kind of like urban sprawl from like the 40s.
You know what I mean?
And there's no discernible like change in landscape
in many places and it's like, just like, okay, there's no discernible like change in landscape in many places and it's like,
it just like, okay, there's a convenience store,
there's a place to get my car repaired
and there's a place to get hamburgers.
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat,
repeat for miles, right?
You should be governor, you have the tourism.
And so, but once you live in Los Angeles- I guess you would need to be mayor. I'll just gotta start with mayor. Once you live in Los Angeles.
I guess you would need to be mayor.
I'll just gotta start with mayor.
Once you live in Los Angeles,
you start figuring out where the cool stuff is
and there's, you know, it's a never ending party
if you want it to be.
But there are places like New York
where I call them the nooks and crannies
where you literally can be on the island of Manhattan
and walk in any direction,
and there's gonna be people eating, chopping,
having a good time, talking, and it's never gonna stop,
and you're never gonna go through any weird urban sprawl
where you're just like,
I don't even know what's happening here.
It's just more city, and a lot of people turn off by that,
but I just like that.
So what do that apply to San Francisco?
San Francisco- Is that plus hills, though?
Yeah, exactly.
San Francisco is the nooks and crannies of New York City
without, with the exception of downtown,
without all the high rise of New York.
So it's more like two story town homes with restaurants
and then like restaurants and cool shopping
kind of mixed in and it's all similar to New York
in that it's, this is my theory, isolated to a body of land
that's surrounded by water.
So you know that basically the peninsula comes up
and the bay and that's where downtown San Francisco is.
Anytime you start putting water in a situation
and surrounding things with water, People don't like surrounding things with water, it creates this barrier.
But then with the undulations in the land that you get in San Francisco, it's like
everywhere you turn, you're getting these spectacular views of the whole thing.
And you'd be like, we were just right there, now we're right here.
And then, because you're in North California, Northern California, NorCal,
you've gotten out of the desert
and so the green is everywhere, right?
And that's the thing that kids were saying is like,
it's so green, there's so many trees.
And you'll be like chilling out in an area town.
And then like we went to Haight-Ashbury,
which is like, it's basically like the Greenwich Village
of San Francisco.
So like the history of like music and drug culture
and now it's kind of like hippie place now.
And a little bit touristy,
but we kind of were walking next to this little park.
It was like Buena Vista Park.
And we're like, let's just walk through this park
to get to the other side.
And we start walking in there and then we're like,
man, this is like a big place and it's like a big hill
and all of a sudden we're at the top of this,
like in the trees, you could feel like
you've completely stepped into nature
and you're literally just like 200 feet from more
just San Francisco.
But you get, you've got the food, you've got the art,
you've got the culture that you get in a big city,
but you've got this, and then you're really close
to incredible nature right outside of the town as well.
Then they basically have their own central park.
Thanks, Jennifer, for recommending.
I don't know how I'd miss this, but like,
I've only been to San Francisco a couple of times,
but in the kind of in and this, but I've only been to San Francisco a couple of times, but in and out.
But the Golden Gate Park,
which really isn't close to the Golden Gate Bridge,
you can kind of see it from there,
but it's sort of like its own version of Central Park
with museums and a Japanese tea garden
and a botanical garden, which I love.
Botanic.
I love botanical gardens.
When I die, I want at least a portion of my ashes
to be sprinkled in a botanical garden.
And I don't mean just like the woods.
I mean a place where they're like,
somebody's taking care of the plants.
Just a random one?
I mean, I have to pick one, okay?
I have to pick one.
I need to put that in my will.
I wanted to ask you, I mean,
to kind of end on a happy note. Yeah. I wanted to ask one. I need to put that in my will. I wanted to ask you, I mean, to kind of end on a happy note.
Yeah.
I wanted to ask about the picture.
So you can, I mean, basically, can I describe it?
You want to describe it?
You can describe it.
So this was-
There's a couple of pictures though.
This was, there was two pictures,
you and Jesse and Locke standing with the backdrop
of the Golden Gate Bridge,
but you had split screened it,
where you had taken a picture with Locke
as like a one year old,
and now as a-
Less than one.
Almost 18 year old.
So 18 year difference, you matched the same photo.
Well, we tried to match it as well as we could.
You did a damn good job, that's why my question was like,
did Shepard take this photo?
And I wanted to talk about it,
because it was an amazing, there's so much,
I love these images.
I'm glad that you thought, so.
First of all, I don't want to get into the technicality
at first, first I just want to say,
that is a super sweet photo that, you know,
you got this little baby Locke
and you're visiting San Francisco
and then you never could have known that like,
almost 18 years later, you'd be visiting colleges
and he would be huge.
Huge, that's what happens to him,
they get huge. They get huge.
Well, and okay.
It was beautiful.
So we knew.
Beautiful.
We did all, you know, we did a bunch of cool stuff,
but that day, you know, we had like hung out
at the fisherman's wharf and like gotten something to eat.
Did the touristy sites.
And again, lovely, I love it, it's great.
Some people have offices out there on those piers.
Maybe we could get one.
But the, I was like, let's drive to the Golden Gate Bridge.
And I was like, I seem to remember that you can kind of park
and like walk on it, you know?
Yeah, you can.
And so we get down there and we park
and we're like walking like right around,
it's almost sunset, that was kind of the plan
to get down there when the sun's going down.
And first of all, did you know people surf
at the Golden Gate Bridge?
Locke had said something about it.
Behind boats or something?
No, there's waves coming in there.
Somehow there's waves that work their way around
like the point break that's under the bottom
of the south side or the west,
yeah, the south side of the Golden Gate Bridge.
And there's like three or four guys out there surfing
in very cold water, I'm sure.
Oh yeah.
I mean, not only is it just Northern California.
Three or four guys.
It's January. Okay.
So it's not a hotspot of surfing.
No, but like they they were getting legit waves.
The waves were big.
But we had not planned on doing that photo, okay?
We had forgotten that it existed.
But we get out and we're walking around,
and I'm like, hold on.
We took pictures here when we were on Summer Project.
So the old pictures would have been from 2004,
because Locke was born in 2004.
And he was born in February 2004.
This was like June or July of 2004.
So he's just a few months old.
Yeah, he was in like a Bjorn carrier type thing.
And we were on project at Santa,
so with Campus Crusade,
basically the way Campus Crusade works
is if you're a student or staff,
every summer you go on these summer projects
where you essentially go to a city,
like Link went to Santa Cruz as a student,
Christy went to Santa Cruz as a student.
Yeah.
And then that's where we went as staff.
And you basically just like,
you get jobs at the local community,
but you're kind of there as a group of Christian kids.
The students get jobs and the staff come
and put on the project.
So it's like a, it's kind of summer campish,
but for college students who get jobs.
But you're kind of there to get jobs
to learn how to evangelize and witness to people.
You know, it's like get a job and tell people about Jesus.
But when we went back as staff,
we were helping train them and facilitate the whole program.
And yeah, me, Christy and Lily were there.
And then, and you, Jesse and Locke were there.
We didn't go to San Francisco with you
on that particular day trip though, I don't think.
Yeah, I guess you didn't.
Cause I don't have any pictures with y'all.
So you remembered taking a picture.
I was like Golden Gate Bridge.
I was like, we were here and Jesse was like,
oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a picture of me and Locke and Locke was in a Bjorn.
And so going into the situation with that level of planning
is like, okay, this is,
cause then I'm like,
well, we totally got to recreate this picture.
And then she gets to the pictures on her phone
and which I don't even know how she's got pictures
from 2004 on her phone somehow like.
I think you moved them over to,
yeah, I moved all my stuff to Google Photos.
You moved your stuff to like Apple Photos
and now you have it all on your phone,
which I do too, which is awesome.
Yeah, but hers are,
Every digital photo.
Hers are, she's, I don't know, hers are organized.
Mine just have like before a certain date,
they're just all in there,
but like somehow I dated these right on her phone.
I don't know.
So there we are.
And there's a picture of,
I mean, I'll bring up the picture so you can see them
because we'll, okay, so the first picture
is the picture of me and Jessie and Locke in the Bjorn.
And you can see the Golden Gate Bridge behind us.
And also like the little, there's like a little parking area.
That's where those guys were surfing down there.
And so we could be like, okay,
I think we know where this is.
I actually don't think that we found exactly the same place
or else they had built a new thing here that's in the way.
I couldn't really tell.
But so once we realized that this is what we wanted to do,
I was like, okay, our family is,
everyone is so opinionated and strong-willed
that getting anybody to like participate in like-
To take a group photo is,
just immediately brings tension into a family.
And then you've got like-
But to match up one from like 17 years ago.
Well, then you've got the 17 year old
and the 13 year old, and they're like, you know,
they love each other and they get along,
but then it'll suddenly turn into 17 year olds and 13 year olds like fighting.
And so now we've got to get Shepard to take this photo.
Yeah, so I'm like, Shepard's gotta take it.
I was amazed at how much of a match there was
because I knew behind the scenes
there had to have been anguish.
Well, yeah, it was not pleasant.
So the first thing that happened was,
is I kind of get up there and I'm like,
okay, this is where we need to be, guys.
This is where we need to stand. And I'm like,'m like okay, this is where we need to be, guys, this is where we need to stand, and I'm like,
Shepard, this is how you need to frame it.
Then he's got like, he's looking at the old picture
on Jesse's phone, then he's got my phone
and he's taking the picture.
Yeah.
And like, he's not saying, the one thing is
he wasn't saying when he was taking the picture,
and a lot was like, Shepard, say when you're taking
the picture, I'm squatting!
And then I looked at the pictures,
the first set that he took, and I was like,
oh, the angle's not right.
Like, this isn't actually, you don't need to be there,
you need to be here.
And I was like, actually, Shepard, let's do this.
Locke and Mom, you get in this situation.
You're gonna take the picture.
And then Shepard, you get in where I'm gonna be,
and then we'll switch places.
Uh-huh, do you have that picture?
I don't think I took the picture.
Oh, you didn't even take it.
But you were like, I'm gonna stand right here
and hold the phone here, so now you walk back over here,
stand where I'm standing, hold the phone
where I'm holding it, which is what I would have done.
Yeah, but then if you look-
And that makes everybody happy.
The thing that I'm a little bit disappointed in
is like if you look at the previous picture,
so Locke's in the Bjorn and like my hand is on his chest
and Link, Jesse's hand is on his crotch, right?
Cause he's like in a Bjorn and she's kind of holding him
and then he's got his eyes closed.
Like if we-
So you gonna put your hand on 18 year old crotch?
If we had done the complete,
like I didn't even put my hand on him
and he's not, like, you know,
it's sort of just like the same three people.
Well he's kind of unwieldy, he's not a baby anymore.
The same three people, right?
So, and here's what I.
But you were in the same place, that was amazing.
Well here's what I told Jesse and the kids,
I was like, guys, this is good enough for family,
it's not good enough for the internet.
That's what I actually said.
Of course now it's good enough for the internet
because you're seeing it.
It's cool, it's cool.
It's a much better camera.
But the second thing, yeah,
because the first one was probably just a film camera.
The second picture was while we were walking.
So it's really easy.
You can just walk on the Golden Gate Bridge.
And this one was much easier to sort of get the angle
and it was just two people.
It was Locke in front of Jessie.
Dang, look at that noggin.
And me taking the picture, so.
Like Dr. Evil.
Let's see.
So again, this was not easy
and there was some consternation from Locke in this one
because I was like, dude, no, you gotta look mean.
You gotta look madder.
And like, this is as mad as he was willing to.
That's pretty good. To go.
But no, we- He should have
shaved his head for it.
So Jessie posted this one on her Twitter.
It's got like, I don't know,
it's got like 12,000 likes when I'm recording this.
I'm sure it's got more than that now,
but people were really into this
and commented on the fact that Jessie has not aged,
which she really hasn't.
Locke has, look at him, boy.
Yeah, he's changed quite a bit.
Still got a lot of angst.
Well, it seems like you made him do that.
But you know, we had a-
This guy, you know what, it was worth it.
We had a really good moment on the Golden Gate Bridge.
Like I said, you know, there was a moment
when we were getting ready to,
when we had just gotten into the car to leave,
where Shepherd was like,
dad, couldn't you just let Locke drive in his own car
and follow us up to San Francisco?
And I was like, you guys are so spoiled, man.
Like the fact that you would even ask that,
you know what my dad would have said if I had asked
if one of us could have driven separately?
I was like, I'm not even gonna answer that question.
But they weren't getting along, right?
And this is probably typical of a lot of families.
When you're getting ready to travel,
it's like that just seems,
that's when everything goes wrong.
That's when everybody starts getting mad.
Everybody's fuses get super short.
And then you all just get into the car together and go.
Right?
And we did, everybody did calm down,
but there were some times where there was some,
Lock and Shepherd will kind of fight each other a little bit
like playfully and sometimes it'll get a little bit
out of hand, you know, two boys fighting
and then all of a sudden somebody's upset
and I kind of have to break it up.
And of course, everyone has their own stuff
that they get upset about.
But when we were walking on the Golden Gate Bridge,
I don't remember exactly what Locke said,
but he essentially says something like,
"'Listen, we're all gonna die one day.'"
He was like, and we were also kind of,
honestly, we were thinking about people
jumping off the bridge because it's like, that was like 1,700 people a year
or something, or 1,700 people.
I can't, it's a lot of people.
In fact, they're installing a net right now
and the supports are out there ready to receive the net.
So people won't jump off the bridge.
But once you get to the middle of the bridge,
there's nothing to keep you from jumping off.
Like there's no more fence and stuff.
They have fence up so that you can't get on the giant
circular wire that goes to the top,
because they don't want you like daredevils.
But in the middle, they're like,
if people are gonna do this, they're gonna do this,
until now that they're installing the net.
So it was on the brain.
So it gives you this sense of your own mortality.
And he was just like, listen, we're all gonna die one day.
And I love you guys.
And I'm sorry for when I'm a jerk.
And it was like, this is beautiful.
And we were all like, we're sorry too.
Like we're all jerks sometimes.
And just, and I think he ended up saying something like,
and I like, you know, where I go to school doesn't really matter.
Huh.
And I was kinda like, well, it kinda does,
but it didn't matter, but I didn't say anything at the time.
We just had, we had like a beautiful group hug.
That's great.
You know what I would have said at that moment?
I would have said, you know what, this is beautiful.
Let's get a picture.
And then I would have thrown it back into chaos.
Yeah, we didn't get a picture of that.
You didn't take a picture, you just got a group hug
on the Golden Gate Bridge?
We did, we got a group hug on the Golden Gate Bridge.
Wow. We also had a really
interesting thing happen where,
as we were trying to get our first picture
with the three of us, some dude came up and was like,
can I help you guys?
And I was like, ah, it's cool, we're just trying to,
and we were almost there, I was like,
we're just trying to recreate this photo. And I was like, ah, it's cool. We're just trying to, we were like almost there. I was like, we're just trying to recreate this photo.
And he was like, cool.
And he was with a group of like five or six young adults,
you know, 20 year olds, whatever they were.
And then they kind of like stand off to the side.
And then when we finish, he's like,
hey, can I get you to take a picture of us?
I was like, sure.
And so they gave me their Polaroid camera
that they were using.
Oh, okay.
And they all posed and I'm like, okay.
And then the guy's like, okay, on three,
good Mythical Morning.
And I kind of suspected that that was what was happening,
but I didn't want to be the guy that's just like.
You got pranked.
No, so shout out to the Mythical Beasts that we actually,
you know what, turns out there's a lot of Mythical Beasts
on the Golden Gate Bridge.
Mm, you could just hang out there.
Past like five of them.
Boost your ego.
So I hope the picture turned out good.
We took two of them because Jessie took a picture of me
taking a picture of them and then I snapped it again
and released a little bit more of their film.
All right, well, this brings me to my rec.
I'm pulling an audible here.
I had another rec, I'll save it.
Because my recommendation is to take some photos
that then 18 years later you can recreate.
Or if it's later, recreate them.
And if you've done this, I wanna see,
you know, a number of people do this.
I saw a few of them like back around the holidays,
people doing like recreating family photos.
I love seeing these.
So hashtag Ear Biscuits if you've already done this.
My recommendation is the next time you're together
with your loved ones,
see about recreating a photo.
If for no other reason, just send it to the linkster.
Hashtag Ear Biscuits.
Let us know.
We talked about parenting a lot today, you know,
making big decisions and not wigging out about it.
And I think we'll probably wait until,
you know, the thing we talked about is we gotta go back
18 years or 17 years from now, you know,
and do this all again when Locke is what, 35?
Is that how old he'll be?
No, I can't do math.
18 plus 18.
18 plus 17, yeah, he'll be 35.
Yeah.
And maybe he'll have a little child and a Bjorn.
Who knows?
We'll have to go back and do it.
Of course, Shepherd won't be in any of the photos
because he wasn't in the first one.
Nope.
He wasn't there, so he misses this train.
All right, our train will keep going.
We'll speak at you next week.
The right.
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