Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett’s Family Trip to San Francisco | Ear Biscuits Ep.320

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

Coming to you from the new and improved Ear Biscuits studio, Rhett details his family’s trip to San Francisco, talks about his oldest son preparing for college, and attempts to recreate a family pho...to, 18 years later. Check it out in this episode of Ear Biscuits. Get 50% your first lesson for a limited time at Preply.com/ear To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This, this, this, this is Mythical. Every Canadian dairy farm is unique. That's why every farmer takes charge of their own unique environmental farm plan. Also drawing from 57 environmental practices. My plan starts with soil health. And part of mine includes biodiversity. Why care so much? Because Canadian dairy farmers hold themselves
Starting point is 00:00:26 to higher standards. That's what's behind the Blue Cow logo. Dairy Farmers of Canada. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, which is a little bit different, we'll talk about that in a second. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:51 I'm gonna be talking about my recent trip to San Francisco, the San Francisco treat. Yeah, did you get some treats? I did get some treats. You know, it was quite an experience, made some memories. What was the mission? The mission was college visits for Locke, trying to decide on where he's gonna go.
Starting point is 00:01:14 So there's a few schools in the San Francisco area that we visited. So yeah, you're entering that phase of fatherhood that I went through last year, and then next year with Lincoln, I'll be going through it again. Second time won't be a breeze though. I hope so.
Starting point is 00:01:36 I mean, it's like, I wonder what you've learned from me and I wonder what I can learn from you for next time. It's funny, I wasn't thinking about what, I wasn't, well, the funny thing is is that if I recall correctly, Lily kinda, she kinda had her mindset on what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go, and there wasn't like, like Locke has applied
Starting point is 00:01:52 to like 25 different schools. You know, we visited multiple schools. We're going for a spring break. Now the spring break trip is shaping up and is turning into a tour of the Northeastern United States. Oh, wow. Including New York where, you know,
Starting point is 00:02:08 so some schools up there that he's interested in. That's why I think, maybe I can learn from you because I didn't, you know, ours was not nearly that involved. Yeah, it was like a handful of schools that she applied to and in the timing of the pandemic of it all, there was, it was much more limited what we were capable of doing and what colleges
Starting point is 00:02:34 were capable of giving us as far as like information. Well, the funny thing is, is we don't, you know, we don't, McLaughlin's are not great planners and so we have not taken any official tours, we haven't talked to anyone official. Like literally one of the campuses we were walking around and there was like a group of official kids with like an official representative
Starting point is 00:02:53 and we're just like hey guy, losers. We can go wherever we want to. I bet you're learning lots of stuff that's gonna be pertinent to your decision. We don't need an official person. But we're going to the snack shop. Yeah right, I mean we make our own rules, man. I feel that.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I'll spend some time talking about that, but I also wanna talk about San Francisco. Turns out there's a lot to talk about as it relates to San Francisco. And I saw a picture that you texted Christy and I, and I'm very intrigued. I wanna talk about the specifics of this picture that you sent us too.
Starting point is 00:03:26 So I'm excited about that. But yeah, we're also excited about the fact that the Ear Biscuits set has been updated, our backdrop. This reflects an expanding universe of Mythical podcasts. That is our, that's our vision. And we got plans to back it up, baby. Matter of fact, the first new podcast coming out of Mythical Studios is
Starting point is 00:03:53 Trevor Talks Too Much Tomorrow. Episode one comes out. You know Trevor, he's one of the Mythical Kitcheneers. Well, there's a few things about Trevor. He's the goofy young guy who talks too much. Trevor, I don't know if he is still the youngest person to work at Mythical Entertainment, but you know what? I mean, he's a Z-er, a Gen Z-er.
Starting point is 00:04:14 And so he's interested in things and talks about things that we're too old to understand or appreciate. Stop talking to us, just start talking to other people you're interested in talking to. So he's gonna have guests. He's gonna have guests that are kind of in his world. One of the guests, we're not gonna mention because we don't know, you never know
Starting point is 00:04:35 who you're gonna get in here. I do know one of the guests. I mean, I have heard of one of the guests and actually have had conversations with one of the guests. But the other ones, I'm like, listen, the fact that I don't know who they are is a good sign that Trevor's doing the right thing. But if what we're saying intrigues you,
Starting point is 00:04:53 check out his podcast. What we're saying doesn't intrigue you, don't listen to us, just check out his podcast. Don't let us be the reason you don't check out his podcast. Trevor's a lovely man. Trevor talks too much. Wherever podcasts are found. It was almost the name of the podcast. Trevor talks too much. Wherever podcasts are found. Was almost the name of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:05:08 That was my vote, Trevor's a lovely man. Also, there's a YouTube channel dedicated to the visual version where you can check out this backdrop with his own signage up here. But apparently- He doesn't get our round table, or I think they-
Starting point is 00:05:23 They just put something over it. But apparently this wood, which I love wood and I love touching it, is a waveform. We've been told that it may or may not say mythical is love. It also could just be someone farting. Yeah. But- It looks like it could be one of my farts. It's very beautiful.
Starting point is 00:05:42 I like to fart, love. Could you, what do you think? Pretty cool, huh? I think farts. If you're just listening to this, pretty cool, huh? This would be a fart that started strong and had a whimper in the middle then came back. Yeah, yeah. And really picked up again, which are my favorite kinds.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Right. You've made people think they're over and you bring it right back. It's called breaking the second wind. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about this trip. Now, you've made the trip to the northern part of our state. I wanna talk a little bit about that area that you have to drive through.
Starting point is 00:06:13 I have not gone north of San Francisco. Well, neither have I, really. Okay. There's still a lot more. A whole lot more. So yeah, I still wanna go up that way. I'm talking about, this is the experience, okay? Just in case you've never taken this route.
Starting point is 00:06:28 And I'm talking about being on the five, the interstate five, going north. You take it out of town, you go past the sort of the remnants of civilization on the north side of Los Angeles, like up to Santa Clarita, and you kinda enter into this mountain pass. And all of a sudden, it's like okay, there's no people here anymore, I mean there's mountains.
Starting point is 00:06:49 It's a wilderness area kind of. It's actually where we drove when we took Shepherd up and did some off-roading, there's like a little off-road place there. On the vlog channel. But you drive through this and then you kinda come down out of the mountains and it's very, very sudden. Mountains and then all of a sudden flatness for as far as you can see.
Starting point is 00:07:12 And it is for like four and a half hours straight. You are on what feels like, having just recently driven across North Texas, feels like North Texas, like flat and just crops. Yeah. Like this is where the stuff that's grown in California is grown. It's the Central Valley, right?
Starting point is 00:07:33 18 wheelers on the road. And it is so desolate. Yeah, it's a tough drive. Yeah, because it just never changes. Yeah. But did you, have you noticed this? The people who grow the food in this area have very, they seem to have a very particular
Starting point is 00:07:57 political viewpoint on our governor. Have you noticed this? Well, yeah, they tried to recall him. No, no, no, I'm saying, I'm not talking about just Northern California. I'm talking about specifically the people who own the farms. There's all these signs calling out Governor Newsom about water.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Yeah. You notice this? And it's just like, and there's a play on words. It's like, give us back our damn water. But they spell damn with a D-A-M. Oh. And then there's the sign, like the signs sort of educate you as you go along. There's other ones that say,
Starting point is 00:08:31 70% of our water flows into the oceans without us. So, you know, obviously there's some, there's two difference of, there's a difference of opinion here. Yeah. There's probably like a progressive environmental side that's saying that we can't just dam up and use all this water for whatever habitats, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:08:48 I don't know any of the details. I'm just kind of pulling this out of my butt right now. And then the second thing is, well, we want to grow the crops, let us just use the water, let us dam this stuff up so we can use it, whatever. And so these two ideals are sort of bumping up against each other for like four hours.
Starting point is 00:09:04 And it's just sign after sign after sign after sign. There's no, because there's really like, there's hardly any billboards, it's just these. You saw all these signs and you never figured it out? I think the signs have worked their way into my mind and now I'm like, Governor Newsom, give us back our damn water! Like I mean, this propaganda has worked for me.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I don't know the details, so I'm actually, I don't know where I come down on this actually, I don't know where I come down on this issue because I don't have any idea what is at stake. I should probably look into it. But that was your first stop, okay. But then did you notice that the desolation turns into rolling hills with no trees?
Starting point is 00:09:43 And it looks, I mean, it looks grassy. There'll be some- It's beautiful grassy. Some yellow flowers. We've benefited from a lot of rain, which is very unusual. It's very brown. But once you, I'm talking about,
Starting point is 00:09:55 you're almost in the Bay area. Okay. You guys like to go to the Santa Cruz area. So at some point you kind of go off of the five. Right. But we were going all the way up to San Francisco and the way that it was navigating us was coming all the way up through Oakland, almost to Berkeley,
Starting point is 00:10:11 and then cutting across the bay into San Francisco, right? So for like another two hours, I mean the whole trip is like five and a half hours, so it's like three and a half hour, four hours, and then like the last hour and a half is these rolling hills with nothing on them except cattle. Yeah. And windmills. It's pretty cool. It's beautiful, but this is where this dynamic begins,
Starting point is 00:10:36 where I begin pointing out things. I'm totally dadding it when I'm driving. Everybody's on their phones. I'm not on a phone, I'm on a car. Yeah, you have to see everything. And I'm like, guys when I'm driving. Everybody's on their phones. I'm not on a phone, I'm on a car. Yeah, you have to see everything. And I'm like, guys, look at those cows. In fact, we literally had this conversation, Jessie and I did, and she ended up tweeting about it
Starting point is 00:10:53 because she thought it was so funny. I said, look at those cows just living up there on those hills. And she said, I've already looked at the cows. And I was just like, but look at them now. Now that I've given you a philosophical point of view on them, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Let's be thoughtful about these cows. And I don't really wanna go into, listen, some people say that the tendency to want people to look at things is narcissism. Okay, whatever. I think it is, what I want is I want a connection, man. It's just like when you're with somebody, you're watching a movie, you want to bring somebody
Starting point is 00:11:33 into a collective experience. I'm just looking for a connection with my family, man. I get it, man. That's all dads want. You're a dad who wants, when you're all together, you want to have a shared focal point, and if that's a cow, so be it. And the dad's job, the dad's role in the family is to find the focal point
Starting point is 00:11:52 and to exclaim it. Yeah, just grab everybody's face and say, Look at that cow! Look at that cow living his life! He sits up there living his life! Just think about those cows, though, man. They just make their lives on these hills. Hey, I'm not on your trip. Don't drag me into this.
Starting point is 00:12:07 But one of the things that started happening as we got closer is I started realizing that I was literally seeing the screensaver, not screensaver, but the background for, what is it, Windows Vista? Yeah. The two beautiful green hills with the little yellow flowers on them
Starting point is 00:12:25 and the beautiful blue sky behind them. Oh. The reason that you see that is because you're getting into Silicon Valley, man. Silicon, Silicon. You're up there where all this stuff is actually originated and made, and so I was like, I bet you I'm looking at these two hills.
Starting point is 00:12:40 I bet you these hills are, I think I passed the Microsoft Hills, man. I think it's an early Dell commercial too. Dell's probably up there too. That's why the Dell is cows. Is cows. Ah, yes, your focal point. We've just unlocked the mysteries of Dell.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Is Dell still around? Hell yeah, man. I remember you had it. They sponsored an episode like last, Dell Small Business, man. Is Dell still around? Hell yeah, man. I remember you had it. They sponsored an episode like last, Dell Small Business, man. Is Dell still around? They sponsored two episodes of Ear Biscuits, this podcast, within the last 12 months.
Starting point is 00:13:13 I remember that now. You're still around? I meant now, yes. Is it in our contract for LinkedIn to know that they're still around? Because we might need to amend it. It's been a year. It's been a year, a lot can happen to a cow in a year.
Starting point is 00:13:24 But that's where the cows come from. All right, and then you're, okay. See, these are the things. I see the cow, I've seen the cows. These are the things that dads are thinking about. You know, just let them have their moments, okay? And when you're experiencing something that you don't see all the time
Starting point is 00:13:43 and you see that the rest of your family is uninterested or in their phone or asleep, you're experiencing something that you don't see all the time, and you see that the rest of your family is uninterested or in their phone or asleep, you're like, you gotta, hey, this is a moment. Well, I end up saying things like, guys, whatever is on your phone right now, whether it's a game or Snapchat or Twitter, it will still be there in five minutes, but you know what won't be here?
Starting point is 00:14:05 Those cows. I mean, there'll be new cows. There'll be new cows. There'll be more cows, different cows, that look exactly the same as the cows that you can see right now, but just look at those cows. But you kind of, you know, excuse my French, you blew your wad on the cows when you should've saved it
Starting point is 00:14:24 for like seeing the skyline of San Francisco for the first time. I was trying to train the family to be, if I could get them to look at cows, I could get them to look at the Golden Gate Bridge. And I think blowing your wad is a firearm thing. It's like a gunpowder firearm thing. So I don't think it's French.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. I agree with that. Yeah. It's think it's been co-opted by the sexually minded, but that is not what I was thinking of. Now at Joe Fresh, get 20% off children's active wear only until Wednesday, August 14th. Shop smart with one cart
Starting point is 00:15:01 and check everything off your back to school list all in one place. Now that's some smart shopping. Conditions apply. See in store or joefresh.com for details. I'll tell you some more things I was thinking of in a moment, but we do want to remind you, even though Link already said it,
Starting point is 00:15:17 we do want to remind you that Trevor's podcast, Trevor Talks Too Much, has a YouTube channel, just like your biscuits does. Subscribe to it. Go ahead and see, you know what? Go ahead, go over there. Even if you're not gonna listen and watch, just subscribe. Give it a shot.
Starting point is 00:15:32 For support, support Trevor. Try new things. Show him your support. It's not easy to start new things. Just ask a cow. That analogy didn't work. It fell apart pretty quickly. I can't support you on that front,
Starting point is 00:15:48 but I do totally understand. Startups like in Silicon Valley. Okay, there we go. There we go. Trevor's podcast is a startup. Trevor talks too much. Super proud to be launching another podcast. More to follow.
Starting point is 00:16:03 That's right, we're cooking up some more podcasts for you. I wanna talk about the process of a college tour. And again, I made clear that this is not an official college tour. This is just a family walking around a college campus. You're just showing up. Pulling on doors, seeing what's open. Parking in places that you may not should park,
Starting point is 00:16:30 hoping you don't get towed. Trying to interpret parking signs. That's a gift of mine. Oh, it is? Yeah. Living in Los Angeles, I've had to learn how to take three different rules that are unrelated and figure out if the moment right now, I'm able to park here.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah. San Francisco has the same deal. I really wish it were diagrams, like a Venn diagram of, and then I could go up to it and I could put my finger on where I'm at and then I could look and see if I could park there or not. Well, in the future, the whole-
Starting point is 00:17:01 Or maybe use a laser pointer. The whole curb will be green or red. Can I park here now or can I not? Yeah, LED that thing. Yeah, LEDs are cheap, man. Yeah. LED the whole, if I was mayor of Los Angeles, we would LED all curbs. Get rid of the signs.
Starting point is 00:17:17 That's a fun idea. Yeah, I mean, just vote for me. I'll figure it out. What's your stance on the water situation? You know what, I'm taking that under advisement. Okay. And I believe both in crops and in ecological environments.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And I believe that there is a way that we can both win. We can all win. California can win. Now I'm running for governor. Did you go, I mean, when we were looking at the few campuses that we looked at, I mean, you really couldn't go in anything at the time. So we were like looking, peering through windows,
Starting point is 00:17:54 nobody was there. Yeah, so we- We're walking around. Yeah, you can go in. You got a little bit more, things are a little more loose now. You can go into a few places. Like the student centers are open and like bookstore, actually the bookstore one place was closed because we are still in a little bit of a,
Starting point is 00:18:10 at the time that we were doing this, we were in a little bit of a surge. So, but the thing that I'm trying to be helpful, right? Like it's what you're trying to do as a parent, usually always, if you're being healthy, you're trying to actually be helpful. And so, the only way to do that usually is you picture yourself at that age.
Starting point is 00:18:33 And what would I want somebody to tell me? And I try not to, I really try not to do that because I've found that not to be effective, but also with Locke in particular, like the moment that he senses a dad-ism or sort of a lecture or a perspective coming from on high, he bristles at it. Was the Cal thing a wake up call for you
Starting point is 00:18:53 that you're then applied to being on campus? The Cal thing was- Don't answer that. Just tell me your story and that's gonna be my question. Well, I can go ahead and answer that question for you because the Cal thing was more me and Jesse. Like the kids are so in their own worlds in the back of the phone. They didn't even hear you.
Starting point is 00:19:07 And this was, it was just me talking to my wife. But you know, and the thing is, is I see the way that Locke is so similar to me in the way that he places himself in an environment and he, you know, he immediately fast forwards through the next four years and it's like this is what it would be like and this is where I would live and this is where I would live after
Starting point is 00:19:30 and this is the kind of job that I would have. He can very quickly picture his future at this particular place and that's kinda how, and I'm the same way, I do it kinda just, it's my nature and that's how you figure out if you are into it. I do the same thing if I read a book. I do the same thing as I'm driving across the frickin' state. It's like, I'm reading these signs,
Starting point is 00:19:49 I'm like, yeah, give us our damn water, Newsome. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's what I do. I embody the perspective and see what it feels like. And then I pull back from it once I've kind of investigated it. I'm very open in that way, right? And to like the possibilities of the future.
Starting point is 00:20:06 And so- So you would expect him to be excited at each place he went to. And if there wasn't an initial excitement, and that's a huge red flag for somebody who can embody a life there, like in a fantastical kind of way. But this is the thing,
Starting point is 00:20:23 because he does that so naturally, I don't, with Locke in particular, there's none of, I don't have to do what I think is probably more typical, it's just like, hey man, think some things about this. You know? Yeah. With Locke, it's like, hey dude, let's pull back a little bit,
Starting point is 00:20:42 and you know, because the way I feel about it is, is that whatever mood he's in when he's visiting a certain place and the timing works out, it's just like the old principle of you get married based on when you meet somebody and life circumstances. They're super practical, like completely unromantic. There's no such thing as soulmates, which I'm not saying I subscribe to,
Starting point is 00:21:07 but some people would say marriage is just is who you are in love with at the time when you could get married, right? I don't necessarily believe that, but there is an element of circumstance with who, and hopefully you get lucky and you're with the right person. I feel that way about my marriage. But when it comes to colleges,
Starting point is 00:21:24 it's like you think about how circumstantial, and again, we just chose between Carolina and State, right? That was the only two schools we applied to. Got accepted in both. And then like, I remember taking a tour of UNC, and again, if you remember this, I was probably talking to you like, this is, we would do this, and this is how,
Starting point is 00:21:43 I'm living out the next four years and being like, this is what it's gonna this and this is how, I'm living out the next four years and being like, this is what it's gonna be like and then going to state and doing the same thing. In the end, it was- I do have a hard time remembering the specifics of it, but knowing how different the campus is- UNC was just the two of us. We drove ourselves up there, I remember that specifically.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Oh really? No parents. We just drove up there together and walked around. And it's a really impressive campus. So it was very enticing. But the entire time, like we were never Carolina fans. I was always a state fan and you were a Duke fan. I was a Duke fan, because I was from out of town.
Starting point is 00:22:18 It was like, we felt, we didn't want anybody to see us. Like, not that anybody would. Yeah, you may have felt that way. I didn't have strong feelings about that. Like, not that anybody would. Yeah, you may have felt that way. I didn't have a strong feelings about that. My brother was already there. You know, my brother was at school there. We ended up going to state just because it was like, oh yeah, I'm taking physics and I like Mr. Bryant
Starting point is 00:22:36 who's teaching it. You know what I'm saying? It was such a, oh yeah. But because I know that that's how kids make decisions, it's, and Locke can get so passionate about something, I'm trying to sort of modulate, mitigate, whatever the word is, and then the opportunity to go to a basketball game presented itself.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Oh, okay. And this particular school that we were looking at, Locke gets on his phone the night before and he's like, "'Dad, they're playing Gonzaga. Gonzaga, number two team in the nation with the number one player in the nation, it's like a seven foot point guard. I don't even remember the dude's name,
Starting point is 00:23:17 but he's like a seven foot point guard. That's like very, it would be amazing to watch. Just imagine that. It'd be a good game and it might seal the deal for like, oh, I had such a great experience, I have to go. Well, that's what I was thinking. And I was also thinking like very, it would be amazing to watch, you know, just imagine that. It'd be a good game and it might seal the deal for like, oh, I had such a great experience, I have to go. Well, that's what I was thinking. And I was also thinking like you,
Starting point is 00:23:29 cause this is a relatively small school with like a gym that's like the size of like Campbell's Gym and going and seeing like Gonzaga play in a place like that. So we go on SeatGeek, not a sponsor, and we find three tickets, not four. And Jesse's like, it's fine, I don't really care. I'll just like, well, I'll go to a coffee shop, hang out while you guys go to the game.
Starting point is 00:23:50 So we're like, okay, three tickets. Last minute Gonzaga tickets, 150 bucks a pop. Oh, okay. So it's like, this is a, but I'm like, hey, listen, let's do this because this is- What else are you gonna be doing? It's a cool experience, but I was like, hey, listen, let's do this because this is. What else are you gonna be doing? It's a cool experience, but I was also thinking, man, even though they're definitely gonna get beat by Gonzaga,
Starting point is 00:24:11 this is going, if he sees other students there and he has this experience, this might seal the deal for him, but that's not necessarily a good thing. I'm worried about it, but I'm also like, I kinda wanna see this game. Okay. So we get the tickets tickets and then game day,
Starting point is 00:24:27 which was the next day, we go up to the gym, you know, like half an hour early. And the guy like sees, I pull out the tickets, he's like, so we're operating at 25% capacity today due to COVID, so we're gonna scan your tickets. If they scan green, you can come in. If they scan red, you can't. And he said, and the way we're gonna scan your tickets. If they scan green, you can come in. If they scan red, you can't. And he said, and the way we're doing that is,
Starting point is 00:24:49 is that all season ticket holders are allowed to come in, but anyone who bought single game tickets and then resold them, they've already been refunded for these tickets. And so it's not necessarily a scam, but they should have contacted SeatGeek and taken the tickets off. And so he's like, I don't know if yours is season tickets
Starting point is 00:25:08 or single, the only way to find out is to scan it. You're like, oh my goodness. And I'm like, oh man, this could change. I'm thinking, I'm on a dad level at this point, right? So it's like the green, for me, represents him being excited about this school and the red, I'm like, this is gonna ruin everything. He's gonna have this sour taste in his mouth
Starting point is 00:25:30 about this school and he's not gonna wanna go. And did the guy tell you that if it was red, that it was, you didn't get your money back or you did? He said, well, he didn't tell me that yet. Okay, well, go ahead then. He scanned them and they scanned red. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. And I was like, oh gosh, man, dang, we've been playing this whole day, coming down here to watch this game. And like, Locke is obviously really disappointed. Shepherd's just kind of chilling. At that point he said,
Starting point is 00:26:16 you need to contact SeatGeek because in a person's name, I'm not gonna say the name, the person's name is on the ticket. And so like the things that we were saying about this person who had done this to us was very, it was a running joke the rest of the week about how we were going to hunt this person down. Obviously we didn't have to do that
Starting point is 00:26:37 because we contacted SeatGeek. And actually, well, they're like investigating it, but they said that you will get up to 120% of your money back. Well, you might make money off of it. Yeah, this might be a new way to like make some side money. Okay, yeah, you got it. Not go to basketball games.
Starting point is 00:26:51 But I think because it- So you had to pivot. It happened with multiple people, I think we'll get our money back. But it was interesting because like Locke was definitely disappointed and then, but he's kind of been very interested in this place and it kind of was a, threw a little bit of cold water on him but then I felt like it was,
Starting point is 00:27:11 it kind of centered him a little bit and he's still very into the possibility of going but he was very excited about the next place and he's very excited about places that we're gonna see, he's gonna hear back from soon, the places we might see in the spring. And so I think it actually was a blessing in disguise because if we had gotten the green check-
Starting point is 00:27:31 Yeah, it might falsely weigh the scales, tip the scales. But one of the things that I found myself thinking, and I wonder if this is- Might really just wanna go to Gonzaga is really what, you know. If this is the case with you, not just, I mean, even just like helping Lily move into college, like being on a college campus,
Starting point is 00:27:55 Jessie and I were trying to explain to the kids how different our college experience was. There's all these like groups of people doing things and like clubs and activities. There's all these like groups of people doing things and like clubs and activities. There's so much to do in college. And I was like, I don't think you guys understood. We did two things. The first thing we did is we went to class.
Starting point is 00:28:16 And the second thing we did is everything with Campus Crusade. Yeah. We did not do anything else. Our entire social life, every single activity that we had was just, it was our campus ministry that we were involved with, which, you know, again, I don't have any regrets about where
Starting point is 00:28:37 we're all this led. There were a lot of people involved. So it was like, from a social standpoint, you know. We made a lot of great connections and we had a lot of good relationships. I don't regret any of that, but it was just so interesting how going in with such a singular worldview that had already, you know, solidified and really hadn't solidified,
Starting point is 00:29:00 but it felt like it has solidified. Yeah. It just, I was like, man, that's one thing that I see when I'm on a college campus, just like, there's so much to like learn and experience and do that I just completely seal myself off from because of my worldview at the time. Well, I mean, Lily's experience so far has been, the opportunities have been pretty limited.
Starting point is 00:29:22 The majority of her classes, she's on a quarter schedule. So it's like, and she's like three out of her four classes were online, even though she was like taking them from her bed or from her desk in her dorm room. And only one was in person. And now this year, things have been delayed getting going again, everything's been online, at least temporarily, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:51 as they're monitoring things, but she's, I mean, she is on campus. And so, I mean, it was like, man, if classes continue to only be virtual, it's like, should we rethink this whole thing? You know, it's like you start to think those things because her experience is- Because it's not any cheaper.
Starting point is 00:30:09 She's got it, no, she's got her roommates. She's met a few people. She's doing, you know, she got involved. She joined a garage band. That's cool. Which I was real, you know, I'm like, this is cool. This is another, this is another experience that you haven't had that was so formative for us,
Starting point is 00:30:31 more in high school than college for us. But I'd still get this sense that like, clubs really aren't kicking into gear and the amount of camp, the campus life is still very stifled by COVID. So I'm frustrated on her behalf that her first year is kind of a half college experience. But at this point we're like, it's still going good
Starting point is 00:30:59 and it's definitely better than nothing. And she's trying to make the most of it. And we're just trying to encourage her. It's harder to say, well, go out and get involved in this group or, you know, expand your potential, your pool of friends, you know? So it's not just whoever you were assigned with is who you're with, but, you know, have some autonomy
Starting point is 00:31:23 and being able to like meet people, get involved in different circles so that you can start making some decisions about the type of people you wanna associate yourself with. I think as a parent, I get concerned when it's like, this is who you're assigned to live with. And you're kind of limited beyond that, you know? So that's an, I'm excited about the band thing
Starting point is 00:31:47 just because of what I said that was formative for us, but also just that it represents an overlapping but different friend group, you know? So you think about Lot going off next year, hopefully things will have gotten, you know, gotten to a point where it can be a dynamic experience and it will be for Lily and then for Lincoln too. Well, because when you walk around a college campus
Starting point is 00:32:13 and you see the buildings and you see the residence halls and you see the gathering areas, that actually hit me. It was like, man, this place is designed to be at. It's not designed to be at home and you taking online classes. Yeah. You know, that's the wonderful thing
Starting point is 00:32:38 about a classic university experience, which let me just say, has become, first of all, has always been and is becoming more and more a privilege, right? But also I think it's becoming less and less of a necessity because for a lot of people, if you don't have a way, if you're not getting a scholarship, if you're not finding a way to pay for it,
Starting point is 00:33:03 whether it's your family or your scholarship or you're working through college or whatever, like for most people, it's gonna be taking on a bunch of debt and not necessarily having a job to pay that debt down. So I do think that, I also had this feeling as I walked around and looked at all these buildings that kids were just beginning to enjoy,
Starting point is 00:33:24 but for the past two years, they've just kind of been sitting there in a lot of ways. Mm-hmm. This college campus that's not being taken advantage of, it's being paid for by a bunch of kids who are at home on their laptops. But I was just thinking about like, yeah, this is not, this isn't for everybody and it's gonna become, it has a,
Starting point is 00:33:46 you sort of feel like you're walking through something that's just not a lasting way of doing higher education. It's like take advantage of it while you can kind of feel because there's, I mean, you have to think that all these people taking online classes has, well, first of all, I think we can all agree, they're not as good as in-person classes and we don't want that to be the new
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Starting point is 00:34:30 Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. But, no, good God. I look over Lily's shoulder when she, you know, she didn't go back as early as we planned
Starting point is 00:34:46 because she was like, I'll just stay another week because I'm gonna take all my classes online, see my high school friends that I've still been hanging out with, have some quality time with them before I go back. I'm looking over her shoulder at like a lecture. She's like eating breakfast and like walking around the house with it on her phone and with her, I was like, take your earbuds out.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Let me listen to this. And it was just some guy just, I mean, just drowning on and on and on about just like speaking extemporaneously and like trying to find his words. He might be doing that in class as well, but. Yeah, but when you're there in the room and there's other people and you're like, okay. Yeah, it's not as hard.
Starting point is 00:35:26 It can't, I mean, that, it's just so hard when it's just a screen. Well, and getting out of your, I think for me, part of it is getting out of your route, getting out of your house and literally having to like, put a backpack on and walk to a place and go into an institution of higher learning with other people who are there for the same purpose.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Yeah. There's a lot of psychology in that that is helpful to most people. But there's no doubt that this, that COVID has accelerated the shift, right? Because people are like, whoa, I'm paying, you know, in some cases like $50,000 a year for like a private school?
Starting point is 00:36:06 For like University of Phoenix? You know what I'm saying? Like nothing against people who have online degrees. I'm just saying that the difference in value, the value proposition between these two things over the past couple of years has really, really gone down the difference in the value proposition because you're not really,
Starting point is 00:36:25 I mean, you're not getting that much different than what you would have gotten from something online, but you're still paying so much for it. And in the meantime, the prices just continue to go up. I mean, listen, as a person who's potentially considering a run for governor, I gotta say this is a real problem. This is a real problem. This is a real problem.
Starting point is 00:36:45 We gotta figure this out. Well, I mean, I wanted to ask, at this point, do you have a sense of like, and this is kind of switching gears, but still within parenting, of the stakes associated with this decision? Because you can really, I mean, I think for me, I could really overthink it and kind of wig out over it.
Starting point is 00:37:06 It's like, you know, if Locke gets accepted at multiple places, he's making this decision that then he's keenly aware because he's future-minded that it's like this leads to this leads to this leads to this and there's a fork in the road that that leads to that leads to that leads to that and never the two shall meet. It's like, maybe you can overthink it, over dramatize it, and the butterfly effect of it, so to speak,
Starting point is 00:37:33 but you can really get in your head about it because it's a huge milestone decision. And you're not quite there yet, so maybe it's not. But I think about this. There's a few things that are helpful in this particular regard. The first thing is Locke's nature, right? So even if I had a specific plan that I thought was best for him,
Starting point is 00:37:55 I am incapable and believe that anyone would be incapable of prescribing that to him in a way that would be effective. So it would be kind of a hopeless, it'd be a lost cause to try to tell him where he needs to go or tell him what's best for him. He is going to learn things his own way. I can provide advice and I can provide information, but he's so on his own that I have such little influence
Starting point is 00:38:21 in that area that it feels like there's less pressure. The second thing is just a general, I think it's very healthy, the thing that we've been talking about a lot and Jessie and I have been talking a lot about is loving detachment. You know, the principle of supporting- So loving detachment is not a verb and a noun,
Starting point is 00:38:42 it's a term. Yeah. You don't enjoy being detached. It's practicing something called loving. It is detachment that is loving. Okay, what is that? So it is, I mean, first of all, your motive is you're obviously you love your kid
Starting point is 00:39:00 and you are invested in their future. You're helping them, you're providing them with resources, you're doing all the stuff that you have control over, right? But what you do not have control over is the decisions that they make. You have control over how they're supported and you can have control over like whether or not you take them to the school to look at it, right?
Starting point is 00:39:22 But you don't have control over what they choose. And if you think you have control over that, you are sorely mistaken. And if you exert control at it, right? But you don't have control over what they choose. And if you think you have control over that, you are sorely mistaken. And if you exert control over it, then that's- It will backfire. That could be trouble. And so this isn't just to do with college. This is a principle that we have sort of been
Starting point is 00:39:38 really talking about a lot over the past couple of years. Jesse and I have been talking about just raising kids in general, but especially raising teenagers as you begin to get to that threshold where they're beginning to become their own people and they are making their own decisions about things. And if, you know, kids are different,
Starting point is 00:39:55 like I've said multiple times, Locke is on the high end of the spectrum when it comes to autonomy and self-motivation and just like his will, right? And so you have to, this is the only approach that you cannot dominate him, right? He's an Enneagram eight and their greatest fear is being dominated.
Starting point is 00:40:14 That is the fear of the eight, right? And so that's why sometimes you can be like, let's listen to this book on tape, or let's try this, or let's do that, or let's go eat at this place. And he's like, no, let's not do that. It's in his nature to be like, oh, I'm not about to be dominated by you, am I?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Right? Okay. And so it leads to people who tend to be doers and self-motivated people who go out and make shit happen for themselves a lot. But it also leads to people who are gonna learn things their way and maybe learn things the hard way sometimes. So, this is not easy and loving detachment.
Starting point is 00:40:52 So you have to, you gotta still bring the love to the situation, but yeah, so to answer your question specifically, 100% I am aware of this dynamic, which is the slightest little thing, the butterfly flapping its wings, could have this catastrophic or very monumental effect, right, and so where he decides to go to school
Starting point is 00:41:20 is going to determine his life path. But this is the third piece of the puzzle for Locke is that he, I mean, he's probably gonna transfer. No matter where he goes. You know what I'm saying? Like he's so like, he's always looking to mix it up and try something new that I just don't even have them. Like, I mean, maybe he'll stay at the same place,
Starting point is 00:41:44 but he's gonna wanna be something else. He's gonna the same place, but he's gonna wanna be something else. He's gonna wanna do something else. He's gonna wanna try something else. He's gonna wanna go to a different place. And so to me, this is just like, this is the nature of him and he's going to do a bunch of different things. And I wanted to help him make the best decision possible,
Starting point is 00:41:58 but he's probably gonna change his mind anyway. It's kind of, it's akin to my experience with Lily in that like, I really built up the rite of passage of her leaving. I mean, you can go back and listen to those episodes and like, there's a couple, like in that, when I was in that zone of sending her off and like dealing with it,
Starting point is 00:42:22 I said that I dramatized it to fully embrace the experience, but it was, you know, it was, okay, she's going off and she's, our relationship is different and she's gonna come home a different person and she's not, she doesn't live with us anymore. And lo and behold, you know, after last Thanksgiving and Christmas,
Starting point is 00:42:44 and then like the pandemic situation and virtual learning, it's like, she's still home way too much. And I'm like, man, it's like, we got over that really quick. It's like, get on back to college, kind of a message. It's like, yeah, so it's as big of a decision as it is, you know, there's always room to pivot and you're kind of always looking for, okay,
Starting point is 00:43:15 do I need to, is there a change on the horizon or not? Yeah, and you know, this is- Takes a little of the pressure off. This is really something that I, it wasn't even on my radar when my kids were little and I don't necessarily think it would be on my radar if I wasn't in therapy. I mean, there's other ways to get to this,
Starting point is 00:43:36 but just beginning to recognize how much of what we want for our kids is just about us. You know? And like, we say that it's for their best interest. And I do believe that a big part of it is. I think we all love our children, genuinely. But mixed into that love is a lot of how this reflects on you, you know? And so like, what my kid ends up doing
Starting point is 00:44:10 and who they end up being, and like, are they gonna be like something I can be proud of? Are they gonna be someone that I'm gonna be ashamed of? And that's all about you. Am I gonna be proud of them? Am I gonna be ashamed of them? Am I gonna need to help them? You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:44:24 Like, and there's a lot of that that I have to, Am I gonna be proud of them? Am I gonna be ashamed of them? Am I gonna need to help them? You know what I'm saying? And there's a lot of that that I have to, that's a very difficult thing for me to just, again, that's part of the detachment is detaching my self-worth with my kid's self-worth or my self-worth with my kid's, you know, accomplishments, reputation, whatever it is. Right? And kids can feel that too. I mean, this is a story as old as time
Starting point is 00:44:52 that kids feel the expectations of their parents, right? But that's been a helpful thing to just be like, man, okay, what ends up happening with our kids, what they end up, the career they end up choosing, the person they end up getting into a relationship with, whether or not they get married or not, like all these things, and whether we like it or not, we've got sort of these ingrained scripts in our minds,
Starting point is 00:45:22 just given where we're from, and even though we've kind of laid aside a very traditional way of thinking about things, when you look at the lives that we've lived, well, they're still pretty traditional, right? Like we got married, we're still married. And so there's sort of these built-in expectations that like that, I want that exact same thing for my kid,
Starting point is 00:45:47 whether you say it out loud. And if my kid doesn't get that, then something's wrong with them, right? That's the narrative that can kind of be going in your head. Yeah, I think for me, it's an impulse, like to believe the illusion that I can control their happiness, that I do know what's best.
Starting point is 00:46:10 I think when you're taking this big decision of going off to college or any big decision or just any life decision, it's like there's this illusion that you can make the right choice. A know, a lot of times it's, that is just an illusion. It's more of like, or illusion that you can have all the information that like makes it a mathematical, there's a mathematical solution.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Like I tend to believe that thing and believe that in the back of my mind about a lot of things. And when it comes to parenting, it's like, I can control their, I know what's best for their happiness, but then realizing there's so, you know, we're making these decisions based on limited information. And so just saying, you know what,
Starting point is 00:46:58 I'm gonna do the best I can in my role, and even if I think something's the best thing to do, but I'm relinquishing that decision to them, even if they do something different, it's saying, okay, I'm gonna lovingly detach in a way that lets them go for it. Yeah. Obviously within certain reason.
Starting point is 00:47:23 Well, and it's like, I tell Lincoln, it's like, okay, Lincoln, your like, I tell Lincoln, it's like, okay, Lincoln, your mom and I have decided, this is both of us talking to him, that you gotta get a job. You gotta get a job for a number of reasons, but it's, and you got X number of weeks to really start to get some answers on this front,
Starting point is 00:47:41 generate some leads. Like, you can try to find the best place that you wanna work. But the fact that you have to get a job is something that we're saying for you, you need to do. So it's like- We're looking for a pool guy. A pool guy? Yeah, I don't think that's steady enough work for him. No, but I mean, what if it's just like-
Starting point is 00:48:01 Full time? Full time, one pool. He's just constantly- He's like the lifeguard and the pool guy. 40 hours a week. At my pool. I mean, he keeps it spick and span. I pay minimum wage. I give him 30 hours a week. I can't do more than that.
Starting point is 00:48:17 No, I don't think I wanna have this type of, I don't wanna bring nepotism into this. So, I mean, what else do you have to say about the subject? Or do you wanna switch to the San Francisco of it all? Because you also teased that. Yeah, yeah, I do. I wanna say, I do wanna get to that. I had one, as you were saying that about Lincoln,
Starting point is 00:48:40 I was thinking something, it'll come to me in a second. But then when I was like, he should be my pool boy. You had to go for that instead. I kind of lost it all. Well, I was saying, hey, you gotta get a job, but you decide what kind of job you wanna get. As long as you get one within certain parameters, I'm letting you make that level of the decision.
Starting point is 00:48:59 Well, and I know this is what I wanna say. It's I don't wanna paint the picture that parenting is this like hands off, wish them well type approach. I mean, I think when they're 17 and about turning 18 in a month, it kind of is. But I think that it's recognizing what you actually have the power to do, right?
Starting point is 00:49:25 And again, it's that I have the power to create an environment that is catered towards their happiness, success, flourishing, but I don't have the power to guarantee it. No. I don't have the power to guarantee anything. And that's a very difficult thing. And one of the things that I found with Locke
Starting point is 00:49:47 being someone who doesn't want to be told what to do is that maintaining the relationship being the goal through ups and downs and the craziness that was COVID and the restrictions and our kids lives being turned upside down, making the goal, maintaining the relationship so that we're still communicating, we're still talking about things,
Starting point is 00:50:08 so that then it might not be, like I have to resist when he brings something up, potential circumstance or something he's going through or something he knows that could happen, getting in there and trying to dad the situation to death and like give my perspective and try to control the outcome. But if I can just have a conversation about something and not come in real hard with the moral of the story, what I've found is that he is actually interested.
Starting point is 00:50:37 He's interested in my perspective. Now, my perspective is not gospel is not always gonna be right. But, you know, Jesse and I are his closest advisors and we're doing our best. And I think we give some pretty good advice, but yeah, it's just that balance. And then, I mean, like you said, once they're gone,
Starting point is 00:50:59 it's a, you're even less, there's even less of an influence. They'll be back, yeah. It'll still be more than you think is what I'm telling you from the other side of that. But I'm saying you have less of an influence. Yeah, but not as- With every year that passes. But it wasn't nearly as drastic as I thought,
Starting point is 00:51:16 at least for us with Lily. So San Francisco, I love San Francisco. I didn't realize how much I did love it. It's been a while since I've been there. And we realized that we had never been there as a family. And it was, you know, this was MLK weekend that we traveled. And it was kind of like saying, hey, like there's some schools out there I'm interested in.
Starting point is 00:51:42 So let's make this happen. So we made the, it was a family trip, of course. And I was just reminded how awesome San Francisco is. What resonates most with you? Because I think you might just be city deprived. Well, I love cities and I'm a big fan of New York City. Now I love LA and no plans to move, right? But the thing about LA is this giant super spread out city
Starting point is 00:52:10 where you just go through miles and miles and it's just like, I don't even know what this is. This is kind of like urban sprawl from like the 40s. You know what I mean? And there's no discernible like change in landscape in many places and it's like, just like, okay, there's no discernible like change in landscape in many places and it's like, it just like, okay, there's a convenience store, there's a place to get my car repaired
Starting point is 00:52:31 and there's a place to get hamburgers. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat for miles, right? You should be governor, you have the tourism. And so, but once you live in Los Angeles- I guess you would need to be mayor. I'll just gotta start with mayor. Once you live in Los Angeles. I guess you would need to be mayor. I'll just gotta start with mayor. Once you live in Los Angeles,
Starting point is 00:52:48 you start figuring out where the cool stuff is and there's, you know, it's a never ending party if you want it to be. But there are places like New York where I call them the nooks and crannies where you literally can be on the island of Manhattan and walk in any direction, and there's gonna be people eating, chopping,
Starting point is 00:53:07 having a good time, talking, and it's never gonna stop, and you're never gonna go through any weird urban sprawl where you're just like, I don't even know what's happening here. It's just more city, and a lot of people turn off by that, but I just like that. So what do that apply to San Francisco? San Francisco- Is that plus hills, though?
Starting point is 00:53:24 Yeah, exactly. San Francisco is the nooks and crannies of New York City without, with the exception of downtown, without all the high rise of New York. So it's more like two story town homes with restaurants and then like restaurants and cool shopping kind of mixed in and it's all similar to New York in that it's, this is my theory, isolated to a body of land
Starting point is 00:53:54 that's surrounded by water. So you know that basically the peninsula comes up and the bay and that's where downtown San Francisco is. Anytime you start putting water in a situation and surrounding things with water, People don't like surrounding things with water, it creates this barrier. But then with the undulations in the land that you get in San Francisco, it's like everywhere you turn, you're getting these spectacular views of the whole thing. And you'd be like, we were just right there, now we're right here.
Starting point is 00:54:19 And then, because you're in North California, Northern California, NorCal, you've gotten out of the desert and so the green is everywhere, right? And that's the thing that kids were saying is like, it's so green, there's so many trees. And you'll be like chilling out in an area town. And then like we went to Haight-Ashbury, which is like, it's basically like the Greenwich Village
Starting point is 00:54:44 of San Francisco. So like the history of like music and drug culture and now it's kind of like hippie place now. And a little bit touristy, but we kind of were walking next to this little park. It was like Buena Vista Park. And we're like, let's just walk through this park to get to the other side.
Starting point is 00:55:03 And we start walking in there and then we're like, man, this is like a big place and it's like a big hill and all of a sudden we're at the top of this, like in the trees, you could feel like you've completely stepped into nature and you're literally just like 200 feet from more just San Francisco. But you get, you've got the food, you've got the art,
Starting point is 00:55:25 you've got the culture that you get in a big city, but you've got this, and then you're really close to incredible nature right outside of the town as well. Then they basically have their own central park. Thanks, Jennifer, for recommending. I don't know how I'd miss this, but like, I've only been to San Francisco a couple of times, but in the kind of in and this, but I've only been to San Francisco a couple of times, but in and out.
Starting point is 00:55:45 But the Golden Gate Park, which really isn't close to the Golden Gate Bridge, you can kind of see it from there, but it's sort of like its own version of Central Park with museums and a Japanese tea garden and a botanical garden, which I love. Botanic. I love botanical gardens.
Starting point is 00:56:05 When I die, I want at least a portion of my ashes to be sprinkled in a botanical garden. And I don't mean just like the woods. I mean a place where they're like, somebody's taking care of the plants. Just a random one? I mean, I have to pick one, okay? I have to pick one.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I need to put that in my will. I wanted to ask you, I mean, to kind of end on a happy note. Yeah. I wanted to ask one. I need to put that in my will. I wanted to ask you, I mean, to kind of end on a happy note. Yeah. I wanted to ask about the picture. So you can, I mean, basically, can I describe it? You want to describe it? You can describe it.
Starting point is 00:56:35 So this was- There's a couple of pictures though. This was, there was two pictures, you and Jesse and Locke standing with the backdrop of the Golden Gate Bridge, but you had split screened it, where you had taken a picture with Locke as like a one year old,
Starting point is 00:56:55 and now as a- Less than one. Almost 18 year old. So 18 year difference, you matched the same photo. Well, we tried to match it as well as we could. You did a damn good job, that's why my question was like, did Shepard take this photo? And I wanted to talk about it,
Starting point is 00:57:13 because it was an amazing, there's so much, I love these images. I'm glad that you thought, so. First of all, I don't want to get into the technicality at first, first I just want to say, that is a super sweet photo that, you know, you got this little baby Locke and you're visiting San Francisco
Starting point is 00:57:31 and then you never could have known that like, almost 18 years later, you'd be visiting colleges and he would be huge. Huge, that's what happens to him, they get huge. They get huge. Well, and okay. It was beautiful. So we knew.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Beautiful. We did all, you know, we did a bunch of cool stuff, but that day, you know, we had like hung out at the fisherman's wharf and like gotten something to eat. Did the touristy sites. And again, lovely, I love it, it's great. Some people have offices out there on those piers. Maybe we could get one.
Starting point is 00:58:10 But the, I was like, let's drive to the Golden Gate Bridge. And I was like, I seem to remember that you can kind of park and like walk on it, you know? Yeah, you can. And so we get down there and we park and we're like walking like right around, it's almost sunset, that was kind of the plan to get down there when the sun's going down.
Starting point is 00:58:33 And first of all, did you know people surf at the Golden Gate Bridge? Locke had said something about it. Behind boats or something? No, there's waves coming in there. Somehow there's waves that work their way around like the point break that's under the bottom of the south side or the west,
Starting point is 00:58:51 yeah, the south side of the Golden Gate Bridge. And there's like three or four guys out there surfing in very cold water, I'm sure. Oh yeah. I mean, not only is it just Northern California. Three or four guys. It's January. Okay. So it's not a hotspot of surfing.
Starting point is 00:59:03 No, but like they they were getting legit waves. The waves were big. But we had not planned on doing that photo, okay? We had forgotten that it existed. But we get out and we're walking around, and I'm like, hold on. We took pictures here when we were on Summer Project. So the old pictures would have been from 2004,
Starting point is 00:59:29 because Locke was born in 2004. And he was born in February 2004. This was like June or July of 2004. So he's just a few months old. Yeah, he was in like a Bjorn carrier type thing. And we were on project at Santa, so with Campus Crusade, basically the way Campus Crusade works
Starting point is 00:59:50 is if you're a student or staff, every summer you go on these summer projects where you essentially go to a city, like Link went to Santa Cruz as a student, Christy went to Santa Cruz as a student. Yeah. And then that's where we went as staff. And you basically just like,
Starting point is 01:00:07 you get jobs at the local community, but you're kind of there as a group of Christian kids. The students get jobs and the staff come and put on the project. So it's like a, it's kind of summer campish, but for college students who get jobs. But you're kind of there to get jobs to learn how to evangelize and witness to people.
Starting point is 01:00:30 You know, it's like get a job and tell people about Jesus. But when we went back as staff, we were helping train them and facilitate the whole program. And yeah, me, Christy and Lily were there. And then, and you, Jesse and Locke were there. We didn't go to San Francisco with you on that particular day trip though, I don't think. Yeah, I guess you didn't.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Cause I don't have any pictures with y'all. So you remembered taking a picture. I was like Golden Gate Bridge. I was like, we were here and Jesse was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a picture of me and Locke and Locke was in a Bjorn. And so going into the situation with that level of planning is like, okay, this is,
Starting point is 01:01:11 cause then I'm like, well, we totally got to recreate this picture. And then she gets to the pictures on her phone and which I don't even know how she's got pictures from 2004 on her phone somehow like. I think you moved them over to, yeah, I moved all my stuff to Google Photos. You moved your stuff to like Apple Photos
Starting point is 01:01:29 and now you have it all on your phone, which I do too, which is awesome. Yeah, but hers are, Every digital photo. Hers are, she's, I don't know, hers are organized. Mine just have like before a certain date, they're just all in there, but like somehow I dated these right on her phone.
Starting point is 01:01:40 I don't know. So there we are. And there's a picture of, I mean, I'll bring up the picture so you can see them because we'll, okay, so the first picture is the picture of me and Jessie and Locke in the Bjorn. And you can see the Golden Gate Bridge behind us. And also like the little, there's like a little parking area.
Starting point is 01:02:00 That's where those guys were surfing down there. And so we could be like, okay, I think we know where this is. I actually don't think that we found exactly the same place or else they had built a new thing here that's in the way. I couldn't really tell. But so once we realized that this is what we wanted to do, I was like, okay, our family is,
Starting point is 01:02:23 everyone is so opinionated and strong-willed that getting anybody to like participate in like- To take a group photo is, just immediately brings tension into a family. And then you've got like- But to match up one from like 17 years ago. Well, then you've got the 17 year old and the 13 year old, and they're like, you know,
Starting point is 01:02:41 they love each other and they get along, but then it'll suddenly turn into 17 year olds and 13 year olds like fighting. And so now we've got to get Shepard to take this photo. Yeah, so I'm like, Shepard's gotta take it. I was amazed at how much of a match there was because I knew behind the scenes there had to have been anguish. Well, yeah, it was not pleasant.
Starting point is 01:02:58 So the first thing that happened was, is I kind of get up there and I'm like, okay, this is where we need to be, guys. This is where we need to stand. And I'm like,'m like okay, this is where we need to be, guys, this is where we need to stand, and I'm like, Shepard, this is how you need to frame it. Then he's got like, he's looking at the old picture on Jesse's phone, then he's got my phone and he's taking the picture.
Starting point is 01:03:13 Yeah. And like, he's not saying, the one thing is he wasn't saying when he was taking the picture, and a lot was like, Shepard, say when you're taking the picture, I'm squatting! And then I looked at the pictures, the first set that he took, and I was like, oh, the angle's not right.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Like, this isn't actually, you don't need to be there, you need to be here. And I was like, actually, Shepard, let's do this. Locke and Mom, you get in this situation. You're gonna take the picture. And then Shepard, you get in where I'm gonna be, and then we'll switch places. Uh-huh, do you have that picture?
Starting point is 01:03:45 I don't think I took the picture. Oh, you didn't even take it. But you were like, I'm gonna stand right here and hold the phone here, so now you walk back over here, stand where I'm standing, hold the phone where I'm holding it, which is what I would have done. Yeah, but then if you look- And that makes everybody happy.
Starting point is 01:03:59 The thing that I'm a little bit disappointed in is like if you look at the previous picture, so Locke's in the Bjorn and like my hand is on his chest and Link, Jesse's hand is on his crotch, right? Cause he's like in a Bjorn and she's kind of holding him and then he's got his eyes closed. Like if we- So you gonna put your hand on 18 year old crotch?
Starting point is 01:04:21 If we had done the complete, like I didn't even put my hand on him and he's not, like, you know, it's sort of just like the same three people. Well he's kind of unwieldy, he's not a baby anymore. The same three people, right? So, and here's what I. But you were in the same place, that was amazing.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Well here's what I told Jesse and the kids, I was like, guys, this is good enough for family, it's not good enough for the internet. That's what I actually said. Of course now it's good enough for the internet because you're seeing it. It's cool, it's cool. It's a much better camera.
Starting point is 01:04:48 But the second thing, yeah, because the first one was probably just a film camera. The second picture was while we were walking. So it's really easy. You can just walk on the Golden Gate Bridge. And this one was much easier to sort of get the angle and it was just two people. It was Locke in front of Jessie.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Dang, look at that noggin. And me taking the picture, so. Like Dr. Evil. Let's see. So again, this was not easy and there was some consternation from Locke in this one because I was like, dude, no, you gotta look mean. You gotta look madder.
Starting point is 01:05:20 And like, this is as mad as he was willing to. That's pretty good. To go. But no, we- He should have shaved his head for it. So Jessie posted this one on her Twitter. It's got like, I don't know, it's got like 12,000 likes when I'm recording this. I'm sure it's got more than that now,
Starting point is 01:05:34 but people were really into this and commented on the fact that Jessie has not aged, which she really hasn't. Locke has, look at him, boy. Yeah, he's changed quite a bit. Still got a lot of angst. Well, it seems like you made him do that. But you know, we had a-
Starting point is 01:05:53 This guy, you know what, it was worth it. We had a really good moment on the Golden Gate Bridge. Like I said, you know, there was a moment when we were getting ready to, when we had just gotten into the car to leave, where Shepherd was like, dad, couldn't you just let Locke drive in his own car and follow us up to San Francisco?
Starting point is 01:06:13 And I was like, you guys are so spoiled, man. Like the fact that you would even ask that, you know what my dad would have said if I had asked if one of us could have driven separately? I was like, I'm not even gonna answer that question. But they weren't getting along, right? And this is probably typical of a lot of families. When you're getting ready to travel,
Starting point is 01:06:31 it's like that just seems, that's when everything goes wrong. That's when everybody starts getting mad. Everybody's fuses get super short. And then you all just get into the car together and go. Right? And we did, everybody did calm down, but there were some times where there was some,
Starting point is 01:06:49 Lock and Shepherd will kind of fight each other a little bit like playfully and sometimes it'll get a little bit out of hand, you know, two boys fighting and then all of a sudden somebody's upset and I kind of have to break it up. And of course, everyone has their own stuff that they get upset about. But when we were walking on the Golden Gate Bridge,
Starting point is 01:07:10 I don't remember exactly what Locke said, but he essentially says something like, "'Listen, we're all gonna die one day.'" He was like, and we were also kind of, honestly, we were thinking about people jumping off the bridge because it's like, that was like 1,700 people a year or something, or 1,700 people. I can't, it's a lot of people.
Starting point is 01:07:31 In fact, they're installing a net right now and the supports are out there ready to receive the net. So people won't jump off the bridge. But once you get to the middle of the bridge, there's nothing to keep you from jumping off. Like there's no more fence and stuff. They have fence up so that you can't get on the giant circular wire that goes to the top,
Starting point is 01:07:52 because they don't want you like daredevils. But in the middle, they're like, if people are gonna do this, they're gonna do this, until now that they're installing the net. So it was on the brain. So it gives you this sense of your own mortality. And he was just like, listen, we're all gonna die one day. And I love you guys.
Starting point is 01:08:09 And I'm sorry for when I'm a jerk. And it was like, this is beautiful. And we were all like, we're sorry too. Like we're all jerks sometimes. And just, and I think he ended up saying something like, and I like, you know, where I go to school doesn't really matter. Huh. And I was kinda like, well, it kinda does,
Starting point is 01:08:29 but it didn't matter, but I didn't say anything at the time. We just had, we had like a beautiful group hug. That's great. You know what I would have said at that moment? I would have said, you know what, this is beautiful. Let's get a picture. And then I would have thrown it back into chaos. Yeah, we didn't get a picture of that.
Starting point is 01:08:45 You didn't take a picture, you just got a group hug on the Golden Gate Bridge? We did, we got a group hug on the Golden Gate Bridge. Wow. We also had a really interesting thing happen where, as we were trying to get our first picture with the three of us, some dude came up and was like, can I help you guys?
Starting point is 01:09:01 And I was like, ah, it's cool, we're just trying to, and we were almost there, I was like, we're just trying to recreate this photo. And I was like, ah, it's cool. We're just trying to, we were like almost there. I was like, we're just trying to recreate this photo. And he was like, cool. And he was with a group of like five or six young adults, you know, 20 year olds, whatever they were. And then they kind of like stand off to the side. And then when we finish, he's like,
Starting point is 01:09:20 hey, can I get you to take a picture of us? I was like, sure. And so they gave me their Polaroid camera that they were using. Oh, okay. And they all posed and I'm like, okay. And then the guy's like, okay, on three, good Mythical Morning.
Starting point is 01:09:39 And I kind of suspected that that was what was happening, but I didn't want to be the guy that's just like. You got pranked. No, so shout out to the Mythical Beasts that we actually, you know what, turns out there's a lot of Mythical Beasts on the Golden Gate Bridge. Mm, you could just hang out there. Past like five of them.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Boost your ego. So I hope the picture turned out good. We took two of them because Jessie took a picture of me taking a picture of them and then I snapped it again and released a little bit more of their film. All right, well, this brings me to my rec. I'm pulling an audible here. I had another rec, I'll save it.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Because my recommendation is to take some photos that then 18 years later you can recreate. Or if it's later, recreate them. And if you've done this, I wanna see, you know, a number of people do this. I saw a few of them like back around the holidays, people doing like recreating family photos. I love seeing these.
Starting point is 01:10:32 So hashtag Ear Biscuits if you've already done this. My recommendation is the next time you're together with your loved ones, see about recreating a photo. If for no other reason, just send it to the linkster. Hashtag Ear Biscuits. Let us know. We talked about parenting a lot today, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:50 making big decisions and not wigging out about it. And I think we'll probably wait until, you know, the thing we talked about is we gotta go back 18 years or 17 years from now, you know, and do this all again when Locke is what, 35? Is that how old he'll be? No, I can't do math. 18 plus 18.
Starting point is 01:11:11 18 plus 17, yeah, he'll be 35. Yeah. And maybe he'll have a little child and a Bjorn. Who knows? We'll have to go back and do it. Of course, Shepherd won't be in any of the photos because he wasn't in the first one. Nope.
Starting point is 01:11:23 He wasn't there, so he misses this train. All right, our train will keep going. We'll speak at you next week. The right. To watch the previous episode of Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist to the left. And don't forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe.
Starting point is 01:11:38 If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it's available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.

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