Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett’s Spectacular Trip To Key West | Ear Biscuits Ep.310
Episode Date: November 8, 2021Pirate ships! Glitter boobies! Jason Mimosa! Listen to Rhett look back at his Florida Keys vacation that happened to coincide with the island’s Fantasy Fest celebration and all of the wild experienc...es that came with it on this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is mythical.
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Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time.
I'm Link.
And I'm Rhett.
This week at the round table of dim lighting,
I'm gonna be talking about my recent trip.
We, I mean, so much happened on my trip and on your trip
that we've decided to make it a-
Separate episodes. Separate episodes.
They're not two parts, they're independent.
Independent.
We can vacate separately and then update each other.
And I wanna say that, you know,
it wasn't my idea for me to go first.
And just before we got started, you said, you know what?
You should go first.
And I was like, I accept this.
But I want credit.
So I'm gonna go first today and talk about my trip.
I don't know what you're gonna say
cause I wasn't there.
So I'm a bit more interested in that.
Well, it's funny because yesterday,
well, I've been back for two days,
but yesterday was our first day back in the studio
following the trip.
And Stevie came into our office and as people do,
she said, how was your trip?
And of course I'm just sitting in there with Link
and I'm like, well, I can't tell you
because I can't tell Link
because I have to tell him on Ear Biscuits.
It's like-
You could have asked me to step out.
It's such a weird thing. And so then I was almost just like, well I have to tell him on Ear Biscuits. It's like, it's such a- You could've asked me to step out. It's such a weird thing.
And so then I was almost like, well-
But it is my office.
So Stevie, you could listen to this episode of Ear Biscuits
to learn about my trip,
but I cannot tell you anything right now.
Oh, she falls asleep to Ear Biscuits every night,
is what she told me.
Well, it is boring at times,
especially when you know us very well.
People do do that though.
People will fall asleep to podcasts.
To Ear Biscuits specifically.
I feel like it's just our soothing drone of conversation
that doesn't, I mean, it rarely gets so enthusiastic
that it's like an alarm clock.
Well, I got something to get to wake you up.
I can encapsulate my trip in one visual
and that is me being squirted on by a penis water gun.
Oh, okay.
Just get ready.
There's more where that came from.
Show it to me.
I do wanna, I've already talked about the penis water gun,
but I do wanna say, you know,
this is probably not an episode
for the children to listen to.
I don't know, I know, it's not gonna be crazy, but I mean-
What do you mean you've already talked
about the penis water gun?
Just then.
Oh.
I'm saying usually if like NPR would say-
Put a disclaimer.
This episode, if there are little ones who listen,
they should not listen.
And I said penis water gun before the disclaimer,
so I just apologize for that.
But there's more than a penis water gun that's coming.
So I don't get to see it right now, is what you're telling me.
I didn't buy one.
I thought you said a picture.
What are you talking about a picture?
You said I have a picture.
Oh, I said a mental picture.
Oh crap, man. It was like a visual.
But I mean, I'm sure you can look one up on the internet,
and just like a plastic penis that has a trigger on it.
And a woman in a golf cart squirted it on me.
A stranger?
Have you even said where you were?
Key West, I did say where I was.
I already said I was in Key West.
Maybe I'm having a listening problem.
Well, having?
I'm sitting, I'm doing nothing but listening.
Yes, you have a listening problem.
Yes, Key West.
We've almost had an intervention for this several times,
but we just keep getting by.
There's lots of Keys.
We keep kicking the count down the road.
Right.
So yeah.
But only one of them is Key West?
Key West is the end.
Never been there.
Is the end of the line, and I never been there as well.
I had preconceived ideas about what Key West was.
I mean, geographically, this is like the end of Florida.
I did not know that you can drive,
as my brother-in-law and sister-in-law did,
because we were with Jessie's sister and her husband,
they had driven all the way from North Carolina to Key West,
and once you hit Miami, you're still on a road
for 154 miles, is what the sign said.
After Miami.
To get to the end of the line at Key West.
Would you have known that?
I had no idea that there's, I mean, 154 miles.
It's connected by bridges.
Yeah, there's one section that's a seven mile bridge
over the ocean.
It used to be like the longest bridge in America
or the world or something, but it's not anymore.
It is still there though.
Is there like surf underneath you?
Surf. Waves?
Are there waves?
This is the ocean.
I did not cross the bridge, I flew there.
Oh.
I flew from Atlanta to Key West.
You can fly right into Key West.
It's one of those like small- On a little plane?
No, interestingly, very small airport,
talking like Burbank style airport, just a few gates.
But there's a lot of folks that wanna go to Key West.
So it was a normal-sized plane.
And the island is two miles wide and four miles long,
or four miles wide, I don't know the direction.
Direction is not something
that you're worried about in Key West, first of all, like where's North and South?
Nobody knows.
And that's not what's on people's minds.
I had these ideas about Key West.
I think one real prominent sort of reputation is that
Key West as is like Palm Springs is a place
where gay men like to go.
Anecdotally, I can confirm that is the case.
Older men?
Gay men of all ages.
But yeah, but I do think that the most,
now first of all, but also all kinds of people.
I mean, it wasn't like 90% gay men.
It was also a lot of just men and women, couples,
people just of all ages,
but it is a little bit older clientele.
Well, my dad went there a few weeks before you did.
So I'm like, okay,
I'm starting to develop a clientele situation.
You got gay men and then you got my dad
who spends a lot of his life
on a golf cart going around Myrtle Beach.
So if he's gonna go to another locale,
you've already mentioned a golf cart.
So I'm like, okay, this is starting to add up for my dad.
Maybe not for you.
Yeah, well, it's quite a melting pot,
though most of the ingredients in that melting pot are white.
I will say that.
So it's a very white melting pot.
Miami is not white.
No, no, no, no.
But I'm saying people of all walks of life,
but just mostly white.
Okay.
But I gotta say, I had a good time.
It was a good trip, as I will tell you.
Tell me.
Now, we originally, now my wife's sister and her husband
had been going to Key West for years
and always talking about how much fun they have down there
and how we've got to join them.
See, I thought that was Costa Rica.
Am I crazy?
Well, you have a listening problem
and it is probably time for an intervention.
So you're telling me that they never-
They have been to Costa Rica
and I have been to Costa Rica with them.
And they didn't wanna start a business
and move to Costa Rica permanently?
That was a separate, it was a separate thing.
But it existed and I heard it, ha, see?
Well, but- But since then,
they moved on to Key West, which I never knew.
No, these are independent ventures and the Key West is a frequent, in fact, they had already on to Key West, which I never knew. No, these are independent ventures
and the Key West is a frequent,
in fact, they had already been to Key West this year,
like a month ago.
Oh, okay.
Right, just a hop, skipping a few states down.
Are they gay men?
No, no, a heterosexual couple.
Which, as I was about to say,
there's a lot of that as well.
Okay, cool.
I will say that I did get,
I did one night I wore my leopard print shorts
and I got a lot of compliments.
So they've been asking us to go down there
and you know how it is, man.
I mean, we just, we don't,
a lot of our travel is related to work
and also over the past two years,
we haven't traveled much at all.
We had scheduled this trip about a year ago
when no one knew what was gonna happen with COVID
and like, well, where is it gonna be?
And we scheduled it for late October,
right when it was Ashley's birthday weekend.
And I was like, I really doubt that this is actually
gonna happen because who knows what,
and then when the Delta wave started happening,
and I was like, oh no, there's no way we're gonna do this.
Yeah.
And then in talking to Science Mike, he was like,
well, actually in places like Florida,
the Delta wave is going to hit so hard
that it will have receded significantly by that point.
And it's exactly what happened.
And especially in Key West,
the numbers were never significant in Key West.
I don't know something about an island nation
where a lot of people are outside.
It's not a nation.
You know, it actually is a nation.
It's the, when you get off of the plane,
the airport says, welcome to the conch republic,
like conch, like a conch shell.
Because- Can they say that?
They, there are no rules at this place.
You know, the whole, what stays in Vegas,
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
What happens on an island stays on an island.
And I am convinced that there-
You can get there via bridge.
Right.
I think that there is a deeply ingrained,
like thousands, like millennia ingrained in humans
that like, hey, we're at this island.
We can do whatever we want to.
And what we do on this island, listen,
as long as we don't talk about it to anybody else,
no one's ever gonna find out about, right?
Now modern life has complicated that
because of the bridge and the phones.
But I do get subconsciously,
I mean, it's of a size that you feel like
you could see all of it in a day.
Or is it bigger than that?
Well, two by four miles.
I mean, it's mostly, there's like a main strip
in the middle, which is, you know, bars, restaurants,
shops, and then everything around that is bunch of houses.
Very, very, I would say like a Charleston meets
New Orleans vibe in terms of like the architecture,
like these beautiful old Southern houses that are like,
I mean, a lot of the properties,
you know, like in Beaufort, North Carolina,
there's just like down by the beach,
those old wooden homes of different colors.
Not on stilts.
Not on stilts.
That's strange.
I mean, with the amount of hurricanes
that come through there.
And the thing that I was thinking the whole time
is I was actually having trouble enjoying it,
knowing that, oh, sea level is rising.
It was this weird thing that was happening to me.
I was like, oh, this is beautiful,
but is it gonna be here in 100 years?
It's gonna be like Venice.
Don't get attached.
Because it literally feels like,
because it's the truth,
that this place is just above sea level.
And all the sand is brought in from the Bahamas.
There's no sand.
You might picture this Caribbean island
with a bunch of white sand.
Well, all the white sand is brought in from the Bahamas
and it is actually crushed coral
is what the actual surface of the sand is.
But most of it, as you go around the island,
the perimeter of the island is like concrete,
like a wall basically.
At some point they were like, we gotta stop this water
because I'm sure every time a big storm comes in
the whole place gets flooded.
But that didn't take away from the vibe.
I mean, we didn't go to the beach.
We went to the beach to eat at some restaurants
that are right on the water, but there was no like,
hey, going into the ocean for a dip.
But the specific weekend that we were there was during,
so, but just so you know, I made the decision
that I felt like this was a responsible decision
in light of where the numbers are at,
the fact that I'm vaccinated
and the fact that we were gonna be outside most of the time.
So just to kind of give you that piece of it.
But the specific weekend, which again was predetermined
over like a year ago because of Ashley's birthday,
happened to coincide with something called Fantasy Fest.
Fantasy Fest.
And I don't know the history of Fantasy Fest.
Let me guess what this might be.
But-
I mean, so people go there in order to,
I don't know, just let it all hang out?
It doesn't seem like it would be-
That seems like- Literally.
Seems like Key West is just a place
to have, that is a fantasy fest.
What about this weekend is different?
I think it's just more of the same.
Oh, okay.
Now, how do I put this?
During fantasy fest, and according to Chris and Ashley,
my brother-in-law and sister-in-law,
this was an unusual amount of the things that we saw
because of Fantasy Fest.
They were like, this is not normal.
Okay, so the fantasy did up its ante.
How?
But during Fantasy Fest,
a light dusting of glitter on the breasts
is considered a shirt.
Oh, okay. Can I just say that? A light dusting of glitter. A light dusting of glitter on the breasts is considered a shirt. Oh, okay.
Can I just say that?
A light dusting of glitter.
A light dusting of glitter.
Now you can get a full paint job.
You can get just glitter.
And there are multiple stands.
Okay, what we would do,
the typical night would be going out to eat,
first of all, great food.
I mean, really, really, really good food.
Like I did not have a bad meal.
I was like, dang, I mean, Chris and Ashley
have been down there and they know the good spots,
so they were taking us to the good spots, but-
That goes a long way.
Man, I had so many good- Are you sitting at dinner
eating a really good meal and you look over
and there's somebody wearing glitter for a shirt?
Oh, hell yes.
Really?
Really.
You're dining.
You've been seated at a table.
Yeah.
This is not like order at the counter
and then put your number at the table.
This is- No, this is fine dining.
This is smoking or not.
And by the way, with very few exceptions,
maybe one exception, we ate outside the whole time.
No shirt. We did outdoor dining.
No shoes.
So we're like- No service, unless So we're like eating on the sidewalk.
And many of the, but like,
so when you're on the main drag, Duval Street,
which is like several blocks,
and it kind of has like, you know, the main drag
and like Bourbon Street or there's a number of places
in America that have this kind of vibe.
Public drinking. Yes. and even though technically public drinking
is not allowed, no one's following.
I also think being topless except for glitter
is technically illegal,
but the cops are not having a problem with it.
It's the conch republic.
But- Conch?
I think conch.
Many of the restaurants and bars
had a bar on the perimeter
of the restaurant facing out.
So everybody would sit looking at the sidewalk.
And the thing that I noticed is that there were a number
of facilities that, okay, this bar is a gay bar
and there's a drag show, right?
This bar is a gay bar and this is a drag show.
But this bar is a bunch of old heterosexual people. You know, and it would be like right next to each other
and we were just going everywhere.
But the bars that were,
there was like these older couples sitting there
on the benches looking out
and they would just both be like not talking to each other
and a pair of boobies would go by
and they would just both watch them
and then they would talk to each other about them.
I sat there and watched the boobies pass
and then the people talk about it.
So there were that many people just walking around
with their boobies flapping out,
boobaloobing it up with just glitter or body paint.
More body paint than glitter.
Were the nipples painted or like really glitter specific?
Depends on the person, man.
Wow, and what was the bottoms like?
Are we talking bikini bottoms?
Okay, well, let me get to that in one second
because I'm not done with the boobies yet.
Yeah, don't leave the boobs
until you've fully explored them.
This is something that Jessie pointed out
and I have to agree.
How pointy was it?
Well, I think that's my point.
In many cases, not very.
And she was like,
there is a big body positivity thing happening in Key West.
It isn't like somebody's like,
I have what is considered to be the-
Nicest rack.
Perfect body that would be an Instagram model.
It was like, I have a body and I have boobs
and you're gonna see them and I'm proud of that.
And it was just like, it was something kind of beautiful
about just the level of freedom
that people just walked around with.
And again, according to the experts,
this is not every single day.
This is fantasy fest.
And then up to Halloween is what I've been told,
or this is really concentrated.
But there's stands, right?
Like you're walking down the street
and then there'll just be a woman sitting in a chair,
completely topless, like pre-glitter.
And then there's like another woman
with like an airbrush thing
and she's going in and doing the thing.
Like it's like going in,
there's like a kid getting face paint at the fair.
This is a topless woman getting glitter
or paint on the street.
And then there's like another woman
just standing there topless in line waiting to go.
She's already taking her top off?
Just all ready to go.
Yes.
Interesting.
Oh, are there kids walking around ogling at this?
Very few. And the ones that were, around ogling at this? Very few.
And the ones that were, I was like, this is okay.
Not trying to be judgmental here,
but I don't know if this is appropriate for children.
They probably get over it quickly enough.
I mean, most people have breastfed.
So putting a little glitter on there
shouldn't ruin anything.
I hate glitter, until today, man. Change your view on glitter. there shouldn't ruin anything. I hate glitter until today, man.
Change your view on glitter.
You asked about the bottoms.
You didn't ask about the men.
Now that's where the bottoms really come into play.
Yeah, I don't really care about men's boobies.
Tell me about the men's boobies.
You care about the men's bottoms?
No, not really.
Well, I'm gonna tell you about them because it, okay.
Well, I'm gonna tell you about them because it, okay.
Very common for a man to be in nothing but a G-string.
And when I say a G-string, like in the back, it's so small that until you get close,
you just think he's naked.
Naked.
Naked, naked.
Naked.
You're speaking Rihanna now.
And there was one, and then there's a few guys
who go the extra mile and have that situation.
A whole mile?
But when you turn to the front,
they have a, one guy had a stocking
that was just around his junk that went all the way down
to the ground and like dragged.
And I think he had a Santa hat on.
That's not what drag is.
No, no, he was literally had something dragging.
Okay, so that's a chili peppers tube sock
taken to an extreme.
And if you can step on it,
then you're gonna lose your sock pretty quick.
Well, it didn't drag all the time.
And so there's a lot.
And so sometimes it's like a couple.
So there's a man who's dressed like that.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, okay.
Now it might be like a group of guys
who are presumably gay and who are dressed like that,
but then also there's like,
this is an old man and his wife and he's dressed like that
and she's dressed with the glitter boobs.
And then sometimes there's glitter boobs
and then the husband just has on like a golf shirt
and he's not participating.
It's like dressing up for Halloween.
Sometimes you go in together
and sometimes only one person participates.
This is intriguing.
It's so fascinating.
Couple of questions.
I'm ready to answer.
Did you see any topless, glitter-fied, boobed women
who you could tell they were just learning the ropes?
That they, you know, they were kind, they weren't-
You mean like the glitter had a spotty pattern?
What do you mean?
No, that they were. Like a home job?
They were trying it for the first time.
Like for me and the tube sock, I would,
I like the idea of walking around
in nothing but a tube sock.
I do.
I sincerely am intrigued by that.
I would like to experience that.
I think there's a discount on tickets to Key West.
I'm gonna dog ear this conversation
for when I tell you about my vacation
and some things that I learned about my own nudity.
Oh, wow.
So we'll come back to that.
But I would just say, I'm intrigued.
But you know, is there someone who's like,
someone who goes to Key West,
did you think about wearing a tube sock?
Did Jessie think about going topless?
Was there a conversation here?
And if she would have gone topless, it would have been,
There was a discussion.
Okay, so I wanna know about that,
and I wanna know if she were to go topless,
there's an adjustment period of, okay,
I am gonna put my shoulders back and I'm gonna own this.
I think you have to walk down the side streets first, because there's a lot of- Did you notice any of that? No, I didn't notice it shoulders back and I'm gonna own this. I think you have to walk down the side streets first
because there's a lot of-
Did you notice any of that?
No, I didn't notice it at all.
I think people have practiced.
That's weird to me.
It's like, where did they practice?
You didn't go on the side streets.
How do people work up to being totally topless?
Well, I think you're confused about something.
The Venn diagram between people who are uncomfortable
being naked and people who got glitter on their boobs
walking down the street in Key West.
Like there's two distinct circles
that look like a pair of boobs.
You know what I'm saying?
Gotcha, gotcha. That's the Venn diagram.
But you know what I like to do to boobs?
You like to push them together.
I understand that, but the circles never cross.
They don't, they just get smushed.
The boobs just get, they turn into ovals.
They never cross.
No one was uncomfortable and that was a beautiful thing.
Now, there were people, again, most of the average age
of the people walking around were talking 40.
And so there's a lot of people over 40.
So that means that there was the occasional younger,
you know, less gravity affected women.
Mm-hmm.
That they drew a lot of attention.
And what I'm talking like one out of 10 would be like,
oh, this is a young woman who's,
she's doing the glitter boob thing
or maybe she just got fish,
lots of just fish net and nothing under it.
That's another thing.
I could go on forever about this,
but I do wanna talk about other things.
He was caught by a trawler or something.
Yeah, and there was a lot of fishing.
There's a big fishing industry down there.
And one of the things that would happen then
is that people lock onto those.
There's a lot of-
See, that's double standard.
Is it ogling, ogling? Ogling.
Ogling?
And there was a couple of times
where that made me feel a little uncomfortable
where I would be like kind of walking
and I would be behind somebody.
I go, oh, this, okay, this is a younger lady.
Who's obviously I can tell by the way people are looking
at her that she must be on display.
And like the dudes would just stop
and most everybody is intoxicated.
So there's just like this.
Open mouth.
Open mouth just following the boobs the whole time.
I was like, come on, man.
Chill out, you're on an island.
But last thing I'll say about this
before I move on to other things is there was a discussion,
not a realistic discussion.
Jessie wasn't about to do this, but she did say one night
when just the two of us were walking around.
So we had gone out to just the two of us.
I mean, we were spending most of the time
with Chris and Ashley, but there's one night
where we just kind of went out on our own.
Yeah, that's the time.
Just give it side street.
She was like, what would you,
she said, what would you do if I were to tell you
that I wanna go and get my boobs painted
and walk around like this?
And I would be like, and I said,
I think I would probably advise against it. Okay, she said, well, first of all, I would be like, and I said, I think I would probably advise against it.
Okay, she said, well, first of all, I would never do it
because I just can't.
There's more than a seven mile bridge between her
and her version of Jessie that would walk around
topless at Key West, right?
It's just not who she is yet.
It's not who she is right now.
But I said, well, honestly it would,
oh, here's another thing, speaking of Venn diagrams,
the Venn diagram of mythical beasts
and people who vacation at Key West,
there's not a lot of crossover there either,
which was a beautiful thing.
That's nice.
So I mean, there's minimal recognition.
No pictures of you in just a sock
floating around
on the Mythical Society forums.
The people who've chosen to be entertained by Key West,
like they don't need anything else.
They don't need internet stuff, man.
They don't need Good Mythical Morning.
They don't need a couple of doofuses
eating weird stuff on the internet.
They got, I mean, just go there and you'll see.
Yeah, they've got glitter.
It seems like that's pretty much enough.
Because the thing I told her, I was like,
I think the thing I would be most concerned about
is like a picture of us getting taken.
Like I wouldn't, if you really wanted to do that
and you wanted it to be your thing,
I'd be like, more power to you.
But she was like, so you're telling me
that if there was no way anyone,
like none of your fans, none of our family,
no one would find out, you would be like, cool?
I'd be like, yeah, it'd be fun, it'd be cool.
She would never do it.
And I wouldn't expect her to do it
and I would never pressure her to do it.
It's just, there's a certain mentality that leads to that.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what path, life path leads to glitter boobs
at Key West, but there's quite a few people who get to it.
It's freeing, man.
They all seem very happy.
And I'm intrigued.
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Before I move on to other things, just to establish,
I really, really, really, really like Key West.
Oh, yes, okay.
And I plan to go back, not because of the, again.
I'm still a little surprised by that.
No, here's the thing.
You know how like-
Can you describe it?
Because like, I didn't love Bourbon Street.
I don't like those, the party streets and the bars
and like the people retching into the culverts.
There wasn't a whole lot.
I didn't see any retching.
I did see like just a pile of vomit somewhere.
Did the glitter boobs cover a world of your normal taste?
I also wanna say that it wasn't just like-
You Jimmy Buffing all of a sudden?
Every time we're going out, it's just like,
glitter, glitter boobs, glitter boobs, glitter boobs,
and that's the only thing you're thinking about.
You've seen one set of glitter boobs,
you've seen them all, kinda.
But there's live music, there's a bunch of people playing,
a lot of people playing country music.
And the architecture of the whole place,
I'm saying like during the day we ride our bikes around.
I'm reading between the lines,
but you haven't talked about being inebriated
the whole time.
So that would help bring clarity.
Was I inebriated the whole time
or have I haven't talked about being inebriated
the whole time we've been doing this podcast?
A, is that a factor in your enjoyment?
Like island life, you know?
I stepped on a pop top.
Well, I didn't drink every single night
because when I drink every single night,
multiple nights in a row, I start getting like,
psoriasis popping up on my face and stuff.
So I have to kind of like watch that.
And honestly, walking around.
I'm no Cyndi Lauper, but I get it.
With a few drinks or no drinks at all.
Wasn't that, I just don't, I don't do that.
I don't get like, oh man,
that guy's not gonna make it home drunk.
I just don't do that. This is a sober assessment.
Go ahead.
I'm talking about the island itself.
The island has been there for hundreds of years.
The, I love, it's my favorite type of house.
Like, I mean, this is where like Ernest Hemingway
had a house and that you can tour.
This is where Harry Truman had his little white house
that he would go to, which was like this beautiful piece
of property that he would go to convalesce
from being sick of different things.
And there's all these historic houses.
And then you just take a, you get off of the main drag,
and there's these beautiful beach houses that, again,
it's all, these things have been there for a very long time.
Every single building, every single home is very, very old,
and everything just has so much character,
and then like, it's that classic like Caribbean vegetation
where there's just so much plant life everywhere,
and you just feel like, I could go down this little alley
and there'll be a weird house here and a weird house.
Nooks and crannies.
I've talked about how much I love New York City and London
because of the nooks and crannies.
The island version of nooks and crannies is Key West,
and so the vibe, I kept saying it over and over again
the first night, I was like, I love the vibe,
and I hadn't seen a pair of titties yet.
I was just like, I love the vibe of this place.
Not even one peeking around the corner?
Nothing.
And Jessie was like, oh, well,
I knew you'd love this place because of the way that it,
she's never been there,
but just the way it had been described.
And of course, I love to eat and I love good food.
And we started off, right after I got off the plane,
started with a really good meal.
So, and the company was great.
We had a great time hanging out with Chris
and I actually hadn't seen them in a while.
It hadn't been just the four of us hanging out in a while.
So my sober assessment of Key West is that,
yes, it is for, if you're gonna lean into the partying,
that's a certain personality, that's not me.
I'm a people watcher, so I'm gonna go have a good meal, have a few cocktails,
and then I'm gonna walk up and down the street
and we're just gonna talk about it.
There is a little bit of an element of like feeling like
this isn't who we are.
Like we're a little bit separated from this.
It's kind of like going to a zoo and just watching,
you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
There's this sort of sense of separation from it
and hopefully not, I don't think judgment,
but it's just like this, we're not gonna do that.
We're not gonna break it out.
I'm not gonna wear a G-string.
She's not gonna put the glitter boobs on.
But we had a great time.
It's a beautiful place and best explored on bike.
Okay?
Or golf cart.
There's lots of golf carts,
but Chris and Ashley are really into the bicycles.
Now they had driven down with bicycles on top of their car.
On top of the car.
And then they got nice bikes.
Like Chris has this, I don't know how much it costs.
It's a really nice.
Not an e-bike, is it?
It's not an e-bike, but it kind of has that vibe.
It's got like a button on the handlebar
to lower and raise the seat while you're going.
There's some kit for different modes.
It's a beautiful like carbon fiber bike.
It's awesome.
And they have a big seat.
Is it a street bike or a mountain bike?
Oh, it's got a big seat.
You gotta be comfortable.
Okay.
And then Ashley has-
It's called a dropper post, by the way.
Okay.
I don't know about the bike terms.
Ashley has-
Very, very useful in mountain biking.
Like one of these-
If you're going on a Key West adventure,
I know not why you need it.
She has a-
I guess just if you're sized differently.
A very, you know, I don't wanna say Pee Wee Herman,
but you know what I'm saying,
like one of those bikes that's got the wheel covers
and it's painted and it's got like a design on it.
It's like, it's a woman's bike.
It's funny that I've never seen those type of bikes
on top of a car.
You know when bikes are on top of a car
and they're facing the same direction as the car?
Yeah.
That these people are serious about their bikes.
Yeah.
And then when you look up at the particular bike,
you don't expect to see a Pee Wee Herman bike,
but here we are.
But I mean, you can be serious about it.
But you know what I'm saying, like a beach,
like a really nice beach cruiser.
Top of the line beach cruiser.
Yeah, I get it.
But like painted in like, it was like an aqua
with like, there's like flowers or something.
I don't know, it's another, this is an investment.
These are different types of investments.
Yeah, yeah.
But both, they're into the bikes.
You had to rent bikes to tag along, I guess?
Chris had handled it.
He had the bikes rented and locked up at our hotel,
ready to go.
They were very excited about the bike exploration
of the island.
Now, I don't know if you've met my wife.
I don't know that I've ever seen her on a bike.
I will say that.
Well, if you haven't met Jessie on a bike,
you haven't really met Jessie.
Good Lord.
So, you know, she did not fall.
There was a couple of moments,
there was a couple of very close moments.
And of course- I know exactly how
the joking went, like the,
you know, you were trying to set up the fact that like,
everybody get ready,
and then she probably got a little angry with your ribbing.
Well- And then she got on the little angry with your ribbing. Well.
And then she got on the bike and there's no hiding.
Here's the thing.
And I don't advise this and I'm not necessarily proud of it,
but we didn't wear helmets
because helmets do not exist in Key West.
Like, I think it might be against the law
to wear helmets in Key West when on bike.
Maybe a shirt too.
Yeah. And so I wasn't, again, I don't recommend it,
but I take my own responsibility for my own life.
And when in Key West, I don't wear a helmet when on bike.
And also you get dressed up to go to dinner.
And for Jessie, that means dress in heels.
Ooh.
Now Ashley has some like technique for like,
she gets her heels like,
like here's the pedal and then here's the high heel
and she'd like grips it like a claw.
That's how cowboy boots were originally designed
to go in a stirrup that same way.
Yeah, and she's got it figured out,
but Jessie had not figured this out.
And also the thing about Jessie is both Jessie and I
tend to be rule followers.
Jesse tends to be maybe a little bit more
of a rule follower than me.
When I'm on a bike, I'm like,
yeah, I know that the traffic laws technically apply to me,
but I'm on an island in this Key West and who cares?
And so I'm not gonna stop at the stop sign
if I don't need to.
And hey, this is a red light, but nobody's coming.
Now, and Chris and Ashley and I are all on the same page.
There's a lot of like coming up to a light
and seeing that nobody's coming and just going through it.
This is nobody, nobody, no cars, right?
But Jessie would get, she would get mad
when we got to a light and we just kept going.
It led to some fights, right?
And then she was also like, I'm not comfortable on the bike.
She weren't there for the fight
because she was still back at the red light. And she's like, I'm not comfortable on the bike. But she weren't there for the fight because she was still back at the red light.
And she's like, I'm not comfortable
if we're gonna drive to dinner
and I'm gonna have a couple of cocktails,
I'm not comfortable on the bike to begin with
and then you want me to drive back in my dress and my heels
after a couple of cocktails without a helmet?
It's clear. She had a point.
She's gonna have to take the dress off,
put on some glitter to get back home.
So what we- She'll get there. We ended up modifying the bike plan for Jessie. She's gonna have to take the dress off, put on some glitter to get back home.
She'll get there. We ended up modifying the bike plan for Jessie.
We ended up modifying the bike.
Yeah, we created a flotilla of bikes.
It was more like a car.
We put her in a wagon, like one of those.
We did talk about renting the golf cart
because the golf carts, I mean, the golf carts are so great.
I haven't seen your dad's down in Myrtle Beach,
but like the-
I showed you the picture, Belch Life.
But like, can his fit six people?
No.
Like two rows and then one facing the back?
No, his doesn't have that second row,
it just has a back facing.
Most of the ones in Key West have capacity for six
or as many as can hold on, plus very loud speakers,
which is another thing.
Yeah, he's got that. You gotta, and Chris and Ashley were on, they very loud speakers, which is another thing. Yeah, he's got that.
You gotta, and Chris and Ashley were on,
they were ready for this.
They had a, they have a speaker that Ashley puts
in the front of her bike and they have a playlist
that's got, I mean, it goes everywhere,
but it goes everywhere with us.
And we bring the music to wherever we go.
Wasting away again. Like that? No, they do, they have sort of like a Latin flair bring the music to wherever we go. Wasting away again.
Like that?
No, they have sort of like a Latin flair to the music.
Ole, ole.
Yeah, I mean.
Toyota.
Like Pitbull is a,
Pitbull and everything surrounding Pitbull.
Chris and Ashley, they can pump some Pitbull.
Like I can't see you and Jessie pumping some pit bull.
The funny thing is, I have a,
I don't know what it comes from, but I have a,
I don't like to impose myself in places, right?
I don't know what it is.
A lot of tall guys have this thing where like,
we're a little bit hunched and we're trying to make
ourselves a little bit smaller and we don't like
to draw attention to ourselves.
So the idea of having a speaker that's bringing the party wherever we go,
now first of all, very common down there,
but that took a little bit of an adjustment,
but eventually I just realized that we would go by people
and everybody would be like, immediately begin dancing.
Start dancing to it.
Oh you were like fireball.
And I was like we are doing the right thing,
they've got this figured out.
Yeah they've done the reconnaissance.
But we did not have a pirate ship.
There was a pirate ship when the second night.
I didn't expect you to.
We're walking up and down and all of a sudden,
hear the loudest music possible getting closer to us.
And then I look and there is a float that is a pirate ship.
Like a parade float?
Like a parade float, but a pirate ship
that goes all the way down to the ground like a low rider.
You couldn't even see the wheels.
It looked like a pirate ship just sliding down the road.
And then it has the masts of the ship
are basically stripper poles, let's just be honest.
Perfect.
And I'm showing you a video of that right now.
You'll have to watch the video version, Link,
for you to see this, because I filmed it.
We actually followed it and there's just this old dude.
He's the only one up there dancing,
and then there's several old couples
who were back in the back kind of driving it.
And the funny thing is, is they went past,
and Chris was like, that might be the Chamber of Commerce.
Like, and he wasn't joking!
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's what we're dealing with.
Could you get on board and do a dance?
We thought about it.
Was that what was gonna happen later in the evening?
Every stoplight, more women got on eventually.
Oh.
I mean, let me see.
Fantasyland.
I'm talking, Fantasy Fest, I'm talking about
like a 65-year-old man with a ship's wheel
is how he's controlling this thing.
Damn, he was really steering with that ship?
Yes.
Oh, God.
And there's all these people in the back
who are in the age range, and they are blaring WAP
as loud as you possibly can imagine.
And there's just like old guy who's just like dancing to it.
I mean, it's like this is,
and everybody is stopping and filming it
because it's so awesome.
Yeah, we are pirates.
That's what it stands for.
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That's what's behind the Blue Cow logo. Dairy Farmers of Canada.
Okay, so we got through the bike thing,
but then we experienced the test of every marriage,
and that is double kayaking.
Oh God, yes it is.
That's it, isn't it?
It is.
Like I remember Kevin talking about his honeymoon
to New Zealand and they not only,
they almost died on a double kayak
because they were about to kill each other.
If you wanna know if your marriage is gonna last,
rent a double kayak and go on a kayak tour.
So- And the way you know
it doesn't last is you kill each other.
We've done this before.
We did it in Hawaii and then, we did it in Hawaii,
and then now we did it in Key West.
And we were gonna go through the mangroves.
Now first of all, there's this beautiful mangrove.
These are trees that grow in the ocean?
They're the ones that are like, they're on these islands,
but they're kinda in the ocean as well,
and they shoot these roots down and just into the water
and pull up the water. And they're kind of in the ocean as well and they shoot these roots down and just into the water and pull up the water.
And they're like a environmental barrier
for all kinds of stuff.
And it's also like a nesting area for all the sharks
and nurse sharks and crabs and all this.
So we went on like an eco tour.
Also in the Everglades, I think.
I think so.
I mean, mangroves are all over the world
in coastal locations, but.
That sounds cool though.
There was tunnels, like these mangrove tunnels
and we would go through the tunnels
because like these channels, these tide channels
that you could go through.
And I was just thinking, man, I remember in Hawaii
where there was some tense moments and I was like,
I go in thinking I want my own kayak
and I want Jessie to have her own kayak.
And then we get in line with the other people who are there
and the woman is like, if you can, please,
if you have a partner, please get into a double kayak.
That is what we prefer.
And I'm like, damn it.
Okay.
Yeah.
And so we get into the-
It increases the chances of at least one person
being able to get you back from wherever you need.
I get in the kayak and I say,
I'm gonna be in the back, you know?
And I'm like, here's what, just as a reminder,
in the moment that I began talking like this,
it feels very mansplaining to my wife.
But it's not, of course.
But well, I mean, I've been on kayaks a lot, right?
And so I'm just like, so I'm gonna be the, I'm the rudder.
I'll be the one who turns us.
You just be the motor.
And I'm gonna take your lead.
You take the lead in terms of the pace
because I can see you, you can't see me.
And I just want you to naturally just go right and left.
And when you need to paddle, I'll let you know.
And when you can stop, you can just stop.
And for a lot of this, you probably won't even need to paddle. And I you need to paddle, I'll let you know. And when you can stop, you can just stop. And for a lot of this,
you probably won't even need to paddle.
And I can immediately, even though I can't see your face,
I know that I've already started this off on the wrong foot,
but I'm just trying to establish some kind of system
for us to enjoy.
And you sweetened the deal,
but it seemed like you were doing a favor.
I could do this all on my own.
And what I learned in a short period of time
is that the double kayak experience with your spouse
is a great analogy for marriage in general,
because first of all, you gotta stay in sync.
You got to know your roles,
and I'm not talking about like traditional roles.
I'm just saying that like you're dividing responsibilities
in some way that you've mutually agreed upon.
There is communication that is important.
Yeah, and you give your wife a stick
so that she can bludgeon you with it.
Right, now I have to say that I believe
that my marriage is significantly healthier
than our double kayak experience.
No, there was no, she didn't hit me.
Well, I don't even believe that we cursed at each other,
but there was a number of times when I was like,
Jessie, stop, stop, like I told you don't have to paddle.
Cause I'm trying not to be the guy who's yelling
at his wife and we're in a group.
So I'm kind of just, just so she can hear me,
you can stop paddling now.
And then she's like, well, you're,
and then she's like, well, you're not,
yeah, but if I stop paddling, we're hitting this thing
or we're doing it wrong.
We're about to hit them.
She always thinks that we're about to hit somebody.
It's like, I'm like, no, we're gonna go next to that person.
Well, it seemed like we were gonna ram them.
There was a lot of that.
We did get through it.
We did get through it.
We literally got through the mangroves
and we got through without getting mad at each other.
Got to know some people and that's really cool.
I've got some great video of us kind of going through
those tunnels, which you probably already have seen.
Did you think about putting the argument on Instagram?
Because it's like, it's one thing to put the pictures,
but like, I think that's really where we're at as a society.
We gotta start putting our shit on Instagram.
No, I didn't.
I really liked the like Instagram photo versus real life.
I'm a fan of that.
Tempers expectations.
I didn't put any of this on Instagram.
I did notice that when I am out doing something like this,
I'm actually thinking more about the podcast
than I am about my social media,
which I, whether that's strategic or not.
Yeah, I get that.
I'm like, I'm gonna take a video
and I'm gonna take it landscape.
You know, I'm like, all my video, most of it is landscape
because I'm thinking about the presentation on YouTube
on the video version of Ear Biscuits.
Well, to take up for us,
I do think that it compartmentalizes it in a way
that it takes a lot less effort to just think about something
and shoot a little something that you want for yourself
that you might share with people in this context later
than sharing something in the moment
and then you're drawn into the comments
and the reaction to it and all of that.
It's like, I think it's not pure, but it's a better choice.
Yeah, and I'm just not, I just, the whole idea of like,
I'm gonna capture this, this, and this, I'm gonna put it in like a photo dump. Yeah, and I just, I'm just not, I just, the whole idea of like, I'm gonna capture this,
this and this, I'm gonna put it in like a photo dump.
I just, I just can't get there.
I don't know if I ever will.
And that's fine. It's fine.
I wanna tell you a really cool thing that I brought.
I have a visual aid, a little show and tell
I'm gonna show you.
So one of the nights we're going up and down,
taking in all the sights.
We also did like a little self,
I highly recommend this, self-guided food tour,
like during the middle of one of the days
where Chris and Ashley were like,
oh, there's this great Cuban place
that does a really great burger.
Oh, and there's this place on the water that does a-
They set up the tour, Chris and Ashley.
No, they were like, we're going to bike
to the places that we think we should get things.
But it wasn't like- It wasn't, wasn't like, there was no itinerary
set by somebody else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so- You didn't download a PDF.
And the funny thing is, is I've done this two times
in the last month.
When Shepard and I went to the Grove in LA,
I was like, let's not just eat at one place,
let's get a little thing at like four places.
Yeah, that's cool.
This self-guided food tour,
I think it might be my new thing.
But we did this there, we got this lobster pizza
and then this lobster roll.
Shout out to the guy who worked at the lobster roll place
who was a huge Mythical beast.
I thought there was one.
And he's like, dude, I've been watching you forever.
I have the Mythical shoes.
So like he's, you know.
So there were a few of the younger set that I,
that I met that knew who we were.
Anyway, ate a bunch of stuff.
Oh, and then key lime.
So I didn't know, I'm from South Georgia
and I didn't know that like key limes are like,
like the Florida keys.
Like it's a lime that comes from that place.
And key lime pie is the thing down there. And there's all these key lime shops and there's key lime pie comes from that place. And Key Lime Pie is the thing down there.
And there's all these Key Lime shops
and there's Key Lime Pie on every single dessert menu.
And like Key Lime pancakes, the Key Lime everything.
And I love Key Lime.
It's top three favorite desserts, maybe number one.
Are they smaller?
Well, there's a place.
Are they more Floridian?
There's a place where you can get a Key Lime Pie
on a stick that's dipped in chocolate.
And that was the end of the food tour,
self-guided food tour.
I mean, it doesn't get any better than that.
I actually had to call my mom after that
because she loves key lime pie.
Oh, were you crying?
A little bit, a little cheery-eyed.
But one night we're walking down-
So good you eat the stick,
is what it says on the stick.
Walking down the street
and I see a guy selling his art
on the side of the street.
And he's currently doing his art as well.
And it's pen and ink, which I've discovered this about myself
in the past 12 to 18 months that I'm a huge pen
and ink art guy.
I don't know what it is, but-
Key lime goes with pen and ink?
Something about the level of detail.
Okay.
I've always been into people just doing
this incredible detail in a relatively small space
with just a pen.
I also think you're just as into realizing
you're into something as you are being into it,
which is a double cool.
Well, no, because there's a number of different arts
that I could, you're right about that,
but I'm saying there's something specific about pen and ink
that I was like, oh, I actually am a huge fan of this.
You know, I do the little thing where I do,
I haven't done it in years,
but I do like the little mechanical drawings
with a pen and with pencil.
I haven't done it in years,
but I do like these little intricate,
little mechanical drawings of the system and the pipes and the stuff. I don't done it in years, but I do like these little intricate little mechanical drawings of like the system and the pipes and the stuff.
I don't know if you've even seen.
Like Buddy System season one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do that kind of thing to kill time.
I don't do it recently.
Haven't done it recently.
And so I see this guy doing this incredible pen and ink
and then he's got his prints that he's selling
and I start talking to him.
I'm gonna tell you about Daniel Linehan, okay?
Linehand?
Linehan with no D.
And this is a guy who has set up,
now first of all, we're talking to him and like,
Jesse's like, oh, you're gonna love this
and we start going through his prints
and I'm like, oh man, this is,
oh, I'm gonna leave with at least one of these.
And you know, and he sells them for like 50 bucks a pop.
It's a print and I'll show you the ones I got,
and you know, which is a great deal for a print
on something that's this detailed.
And so he begins kind of telling his story
and he's like, you know the van over there, the Sharpie van?
We're like, yeah, we've been looking at it all week.
He's like, yeah, I made that.
So let me show you this guy.
Sharpie van.
So like the marker Sharpie?
Like the marker Sharpie, 2016, this guy took a van.
Oh wow.
And hand drew.
In Sharpie.
In Sharpie.
It's kind of hard to see just how, now different colors.
Like the closer you get, like there's incredible detail in every single panel.
And he did, he started drawing on this van.
And then he said-
It's like a full sleeve of tattoo,
but it's a van, not an arm.
What was the last thing that filled you with wonder
that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic?
Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is...
Anime!
Hi, I'm Nick Friedman.
I'm Lee Alec Murray.
And I'm Leah President.
And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect.
It's a weekly news show.
With the best celebrity guests.
And hot takes galore. So join us every Friday, wherever you get your podcasts
and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll
or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel.
But listen to his story.
So I'm gonna read,
cause this is an article from-
This is gonna be great for people to fall asleep to.
Fikey's news.com.
Oh, Florida Keys News.
Florida Keys, FL Keys News. Florida Keys, FLkeysnews.com.
One of my favorite websites.
And so this is his story,
which he ended up telling me
as I sat there and talked to him.
So this guy's, and he's older, and so-
He's an older voice.
He's probably about 60 years old at this point.
But what is he, I wanna get to the part where he says,
okay, cause he told me.
Can you use his voice?
No, cause I said.
Can you use an older voice?
An article, I'll use an older voice,
but just as somebody who lives in Florida Keys,
reading the paper.
Okay.
Linehan recalls walking with a friend in Fort Myers
when they came upon a young woman savagely.
Hold on, hold on.
I was hoping for it to be.
Linehan recalls walking.
Just a little more like, oh, like this is dramatic.
Linehan recalls walking with a friend in Fort Myers
when they came upon a young woman
savagely beating another young woman
while a group of men stood guard
to ensure the assault wasn't interrupted.
He said he intervened and managed to separate the victim
who had lost consciousness from her assailant,
only to be jumped by four men who beat him so
that he required hospitalization
and was left with permanent damage in his right eye.
Oh God.
"'I don't regret it,' Lion Hand said.
"'My own mother said,
"'Why did you help that girl?
It could have been her or my daughter.
Is what he says.
I guess that was his answer.
The day his, this is the thing,
the day his eye patch came off,
Lionhand said he went home and sketched the last supper
all in freehand in black ink.
He keeps a print in his van
along with a portfolio of his drawings.
Now, this guy had not drawn,
which is the thing that the article,
the Florida Keys News, they need to work on their backstory.
If he had never been an artist before,
that is a key point.
He had not drawn in 30 years.
Oh.
And he has this near-death experience.
He wakes up, he takes off the eye patch,
he can basically only see in one eye,
and he sketches out this incredible
hand-drawn Last Supper picture.
And then he just moves on,
and I'll show you the ones that I ended up getting from him.
The dude's a freaking hero.
Oh wow, look at this.
Wormhole substation.
Now, here's what I wanna tell you about this guy.
He does not use, no reference, no ruler.
It's all completely freehand.
Like where this is in the middle of this page is all,
that's this line right here.
All this stuff is just completely freehand
and just with a pen.
And then this is another one.
So let me, just let me explain this,
the wormhole station for people.
Okay, so it's some futuristic looking,
I mean, there's rail cars, like subway cars,
wrapping around this thing that kinda looks like
a space station, but it's very cushiony looking.
And there's people, yeah, like weightless astronauts, like tending to things
and there's like little one man helicopter things
that are floating around everywhere.
It's very fantastical, very fantasy land.
And they're all very, very different.
Like this next one.
This one is an outdoor scene with mountains and forest
and it still has a train,
but it's going across this amazingly detailed bridge
from one tunnel on the right
into the other tunnel on the left.
It's hard to communicate how long this takes somebody.
And also he's talking about how he's like,
I don't look at any other artists work.
I don't, I don't.
Cause Jesse was like, do you have a website?
He was like, no, I don't do social media.
I got no website.
He's like, this is my website.
Me on Duval street.
He said, this is my website.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like he basically was like,
this guy has detached from the internet
and is out there drawing this stuff on the street
and selling the prints.
This is the stuff that I'm into.
I'm gonna put both of these up in my office
at the creative house.
Oh, I thought this was for me.
No, I didn't get you any.
You can come into my room anytime.
I really liked this one.
Yeah, but you're not in the,
I've never heard you say that you're in a pen and ink.
You know what, you can take a picture of it
and look at it on your phone anytime you want.
Can I make a print of the print?
No, well, I'll charge you $50 for that.
Maybe 60 to help with the tip.
It's mesmerizing.
It almost makes me feel relaxed.
But I gotta say, if you are down there,
and there's a lot of things to see, like I said,
I mean, glitter boobies are one thing.
He is his own website.
But he's just living the life down there,
drawing these incredible,
I mean, he was working on one that was a playing card
and it was a king and a queen and he had done one
and he was doing the next one.
And I saw him for like three nights
because first night I hung out for a little bit
and got his story and then actually somebody, two, it was interesting,
two different sets of people came up
and were big fans of the show while I was buying this stuff.
And so he was like, well, I finished my story,
but now I gotta hear yours
and why these people are coming up to you.
Well, my website is a real website.
And so then he wrote,
because this man only works with pen,
he wrote down Rhett and Link on his palm.
On his palm.
And then the next night he chases me down,
he's like, I saw, he does go on the internet,
just so you know.
Okay.
He gets on the internet,
he just doesn't have his own website.
Well he does, but that's it, in person.
And there is a Daniel Linehan who is an artist in Texas.
Not him.
Different guy who does have a website, by the way.
Screw him.
Different guy, not a pen and ink guy.
So he chases me out and he says,
oh, I checked it out, I love it.
That's it, I checked it out, I love it.
So shout out to Daniel Linehan.
If you're in Key West, go by there, check out his art,
support independent art, about as independent as you can get.
Now, a couple of closing stories.
One of the things that happened.
I gotta go to Key West, homie.
Oh well, if you can ride a bike.
I mean, my dad's already been.
I would love to go to Key West with your dad.
Good Lord, that would be awesome.
So I don't get a print and now you just invited my dad
to go after I just said I want to go.
Okay, cool, I get it.
So. I get it. We need to have our own things.
Walking down the street as I did over and over again,
and I look like this, right?
I'm a big guy and I've got a beard
and I've got hair like this.
And there's a lot of drunk people who will just say
the first thing that comes to their mind.
And at least two people said,
Jesus!
Are you serious?
Are you serious?
Yeah, right, yeah.
And they weren't, it was not as an expletive,
they thought I was Jesus.
And maybe Mormon Jesus, I don't know.
You know, like really, really white Jesus.
So that was fun.
This is going in the con column for Key West for me.
But the best thing that happened was,
lots of people dressed up like different characters
because they're going, not just glitter boobs and thongs,
but people dressed up as characters
because they're getting ready for Halloween.
It's like 10 days to Halloween, let's get started.
And there's a guy clearly dressed as Jack Sparrow
and he was either actually drunk, seemed very drunk,
or he was just a great actor,
like Johnny Depp level acting drunk.
Okay.
But the way he addressed me and what he said to me
makes me think that he was actually drunk
because he saw me from a distance and came up to me
and he was like,
Mimosa!
Jason Mimosa!
Jason Mimosa?
Like the drink.
The drink.
I mean, that is the perfect thing for Jack Sparrow
to say in modern times.
But the thing is, is he was not joking.
Jason Mimosa. He wasn't joking.
He had had a few Mimosas himself.
And he has now given me my alter ego.
I'm not Jason Mimosa, I'm Jason Mimosa, man.
That's, you know, I'm the-
Yeah, that is much more accurate.
I'm the wish.com version of Jason Mimosa.
Now, by the time this airs,
you'll know whether or not we pulled it off,
but as soon as this guy called me Jason Momosa,
that was when Jessie and Chris and Ashley were like,
well, you got your Halloween costume now.
And we're like, what are we gonna do?
Is Jessie gonna be a champagne glass and she's just with me?
Or is she like a brunch mom?
I don't know how the costume's gonna come together.
You'll know now.
It might be on my Instagram if I figure it out,
but that was a highlight was being called Jason Mimosa.
And then final story, has nothing to do with Key West,
but it is a story that was communicated to me
while I was in Key West,
and it was the biggest laugh that we got
while we were in Key West.
And I do wanna premise this with the fact
that we had had a couple of cocktails,
so you're in a completely sober state,
so you can be the judge of how funny this is.
I'm never in a completely sober state, Rhett.
So Chris- There's no way to be.
Chris is, he's got a guy who's working on his house
doing some kind of repair.
And he's getting to talk to the guy
and somehow he ends up finding,
the guy ends up saying how old he was,
60, 65, something like that.
And Chris is like, wow, you look really good for your age.
What's your secret?
And he leaned in and said,
with no sarcasm or irony at all, he said,
I eat pussy every day.
Are you serious?
What?
Yeah. Oh God.
So, that really spoke to me.
And it gives me something to live up to.
Fountain of youth, huh?
Yeah, so apparently.
A railroad pass to lay on.
So anecdotally, that is the way
to keep that skin looking young.
The dude was not joking.
It's like a really, it sounds like the kind of thing like a.
Fountain of youth.
A guy would say as a joke, but he was,
I was like, did he?
Every day, huh? Then he laughed and Chris was like, no, he of youth. A guy would say as a joke, but he was, I was like, did he- Every day, huh?
Then he laughed and Chris was like, no, he didn't.
And then because he didn't laugh, Chris was like,
I can't, I don't know what the follow up to it was, but.
I think it's, oh, so you're a cat person.
When you're at dinner in Key West
and you've had a few cocktails
and somebody tells that story,
you laugh an embarrassing amount,
but it doesn't matter because you're in Key West.
You know what I like?
That's the wonderful thing about it.
I'm starting to pride myself on being the person
in public places is having the most fun.
Like there's nothing wrong with laughing the loudest.
Everybody just gets jealous.
I love that.
You're actively doing this?
It's happened a few times and I'm like, it's great.
It's great knowing that you're having the most fun
at an establishment and everybody knows it.
Well, that's not why you do it.
Hey, I'm about to say, what's the motivation?
Is it like I'm doing it to show off
or I'm doing it because I'm uninhibited?
They're two very different things.
It's much better to be the laugher
than being the person judging the laugher.
Yeah, nobody in Key West is gonna judge you for anything.
That's right, and that's the beautiful thing about it.
There are places to laugh like that
and there are places not to.
So anyway, I do, I recommend Key West.
Sounds like it.
Do I have it?
Do I have it?
Is it my rec in general?
Yeah.
I don't think I can just give you the go to Key West rec.
I mean, that's just not something
that everybody's in a position to do.
So you may regret it.
But I do highly recommend it while it's still above water.
But I will say completely unrelated.
I had never read, this is my official wreck,
never read anything from Andy Weir,
you know, the guy who wrote the Martian.
I'd seen the movie.
But then he has this new book, Project Hail Mary.
And I don't believe I could have read it,
like physically read it, I listened to it.
The only reason I'm saying that is because
he is so technical and he gets into the science
in a lot of detail, where I think that my attention span,
I would have had trouble sticking with it,
but it was perfect to listen to,
because I am interested in all that stuff,
but great story.
I mean, I was like, oh, this is why everybody talks
about how great this is.
It kind of reminded me,
because you talked about the three body problem,
which I think you recommended at one point
way back in the day,
but just like a sort of futuristic,
interstellar story that gets into some really interesting
scientific details, but also just happens to be
a great story about humanity and things beyond humanity.
You finished it. Yeah, oh yeah great story about humanity and things beyond humanity. You finished it.
Yeah, oh yeah, I finished it and was like,
oh, if you like Andy Weir,
you know, he hasn't written that much stuff,
so it's just like, if you like Andy Weir,
what else can you read?
And I'm trying to find some things,
and so far I've not been satisfied.
Okay, well.
But I think I might have to read that three body problem
since you talked about it.
You might have to, I'd listen to that too
if I were you for the same reasons.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, there you go.
And weird, not weird.
All right, next week I'm gonna talk to you
about my escapades, escapades.
Escapades.
My escapades in Big Sur on the coastline of California
with my wife.
So come on back y'all.
In the meantime, hashtag your biscuits.
Be a part of the conversation.
Weigh in on Key West and any of the stuff
that Rhett talked about.
Please do.
Bye bye.