Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - We Discover Jobs Even Weirder Than Ours | Ear Biscuits Ep. 371

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

Did you know you could get paid to listen to cheese? In this episode, Rhett and Link think about different jobs they might do if they weren’t on the Internet – but since they have what people could classify as an odd job themselves, they venture down a rabbit hole of other odd career paths – and they definitely save the best job for last. If you or anyone you know has one of these jobs, leave a voicemail at 1-888-EARPOD-1! See for yourself why Chime is so loved at chime.com/ear To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're shopping for some new jobs. Shopping for some new jobs? We're shopping for some new jobs.

I don't necessarily, oh, you got a little, is that a deodorant stain on your black shirt? Oh, you got a little, is that a deodorant stain on your black shirt? I noticed that even though we've been, we've seen each other for approximately 30 minutes already today, I just haven't looked at my shoulder. Well, I just got it, I don't know what that was. You like practicing for like a track and field event? It was a little chalk doing some-

A little pommel horse? Rock climbing. You're a pommel horse guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. How much does pommel horse pay? Probably not much at all. In fact, I mean-

Pommel horse doesn't pay. It's well known- Put that on a t-shirt. I mean, pommel horse doesn't pay. It's well known, it's well known that Olympic athletes, unless they are the cream of the crop and also have like some other stuff happen, almost everyone else is like in debt, not making a lot of money. Like you've seen that documentary about gold medalists.

I haven't, Rhett. I don't think I've seen it either, but I know about it and I feel like I know the vibe. You know what I'm saying? Last thing I want is to be depressed about former Olympians. If you're not like Phelps or Simone, you know what I'm saying? You don't... it's a difficult life after that. You work so hard on that pommel horse and then...

Fine, I'm giving up the pommel horse. Yeah, what I'm trying to get to is that you need to back off the pommel horse before you start riding that pommel horse. You know what I'm saying? Is there... You don't ride the pommel horse into the sunset. No, it's pretty stationary. Yeah.

You just sit there your whole life. You could watch a good sunset, depending on where it is. I don't want to discourage gymnasts. And also I think it's a thing to get your kids in. A lot of kids get into gym, gymnast stuff. Right, keep them off the streets. Gymnastics is really the term that we use, not gymnast stuff.

Gymnastics, a lot of kids get into gymnastics. Learning how to do a somersault, learn how to do a back flip. That's stuff you'll take with you. Pay off later in life. But you're not gonna make any money doing it. Right. If you need to get out of something quick

that has a low hanging ceiling, maybe you're in a cave, you need to do a reverse somersault. Right, and flexibility's important. Right, let's say there's a bear deep in that cave. You gotta do some backwards rolls out of that thing. You might have to flip right over him if he's standing at the guard at the edge, right at the mouth of the cave,

and you want to get past him. Do one of those contra jumps. Yeah, contra jumps. Those guys could ball up like I don't know what. Do you know what? It was because their parents put them in gymnasium. Yep, yep, yep. If you don't,

if you're not following while we're talking about this, yes, we are going to be talking about other jobs that we might get one day, other jobs that you can get. I think, I don't know if I'm going to get another job at this point, but odd jobs because we do what might be described as an odd job. Yeah, we do. And that got me thinking that just yesterday, as a matter of fact, both of us had to individually fill out this registration form for this industry thing that we're registering for. Uh-huh. We didn't talk about it.

We did not talk about it. We did not cross consult. There was no cross reference. And there was a section where you had to choose your industry, and then there was a section where you had to choose your industry, and then there was a section where you had to choose your particular role in that industry, and there was many options in both. First of all, there was a write-in part, and what you're talking about is like the pull-down menu. Pull-down menu. Good gosh, I've never seen a longer pull-down menu.

You know, it was like a joke. Click on the thing, so many industries, so many professions, but in the write-in section before that, it's like, tell us a little bit about yourself. I had not only said some things about me, but I had to throw some things in about you just for context. Yeah. But then I said that- Did you use my full name?

You were also, no, you were also registering. I used your full name. If you weren't allowed in, then that was fine with me as long as I was. That's what I said. Okay, well, I did not say that, but I guess I could go back and edit it. I threw you under the bus.

I did say I make a mean paella. That was one of the things I said in that section. Who you, that is so not what's the word? When something needs to appropriate? When something is not relevant.

It said tell us about yourself and tell us what you're into. What's the word I'm thinking about? Cooking is a big part of my life. I know it is. What's the word I'm thinking about? Cooking is a big part of my life. I know it is. What's the word I'm thinking about that's not, it's a two, it's like, this is not a- Relevant?

Inapplicable? That's not two syllables. No, that's actually four. That's way too many syllables. It'll come to me. Tweet it at me, hashtag Ear Biscuits. Okay, well, the thing that really struck me though was- The pull down menu.

Getting to this question, which I, you know, people end up asking you what you do for a living, and we've talked before about how there's not a straight answer for this question for us, and it kind of depends on the audience. It depends on who's asking the question and what kind of conversation I want to ensue. Mm-hmm.

Do you want me to say what I put for the thing? Because I kind of went right on the nose with it. I didn't think too hard. Yep. For industry, was it industry? Uh-huh. Something like that. I put digital.

I put digital. I did not. Okay. But I almost did. And then the second pull down. Before you go, let's talk there first. Okay. But I almost did. And then the second pull down. Before you go, let's talk there first. Okay. So I didn't see digital the first time. I didn't look for it.

There was probably a hundred. And I saw television media. And so I was like, okay, yeah, we, you know, yeah, I mean, yes, we make television. We talk about what we do as television, right? Because, I mean, if you think about it, well, it is. I mean, it's like you watch it on your TV. It's visual, it's televisual. We have shows, et cetera.

And so before I saw digital- But it's not a television show. We don't make any television shows. Well, we have made- We have. We have made several TV shows. Okay. Okay? Yeah, we have, okay. And so in the context of this registration,

I was like, I think this is more appropriate anyway. And so when I saw digital, I was like, I'm not changing it. I'm not changing it to digital. And yes, there's a little bit of like chip, you know, chip on my shoulder-ish-ness about digital, even though in practice, I completely embrace it as we've talked about before, especially this year, complete embrace of the digital nature of what we do.

But in the context of this application, I was like, I'm not going to change it. I thought the first one would then send us on different paths where like, it would just be a subset for what our occupation was within that industry. But everything was available in the occupation pull-down as well. And it was even more stuff.

Oh, yeah. It was like hundreds. I mean, there was like magician was one of them. I did not see that. Illusionist was also one of them. Apparently not the same thing. Well, yeah. Talk to Copperfield about that.

Puppeteer. Puppeteer. Puppeteer. I'm a digital puppeteer. What if I was that? Hey, some people are. Good for them. The first thing I looked for in this pull-down menu. Like Shane.

Was host. Yeah, host wasn't one of them. And host was not an option. News anchor was one of them Yeah I almost put that I'm a televisual news anchor A lot of times I put Weatherman not one of them

If I fill out an insurance application Or something like that Or like if you're buying a car And you have to like put occupation I put producer I put yeah I put producer There Because then it doesn't lead to anything.

It's just like, okay, got it. But I didn't put that on this one. I put content creator. I mean- I didn't see that one. Content creator. I was like, okay, yeah, that's gotta be it. So basically you're a digital content creator?

Yeah, I am, dude. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be your friend. Too late. Got him. It's not as bad as Digital Influencer, though. Yeah, Influencer was another one.

Yeah, I saw that one. I was like, hell no. And I'm just averse to that. I am not that, first of all. Yeah, yeah, I'm not influencing anybody. I influence people. And I also... How did I say it? Did I emphasize the wrong influence? Influence people. And I also... I'm not trying... How did I say it? Did I emphasize the wrong influence?

Influence people. But I'm not an influencer. That's somebody whose job it is to just tell you to buy things. I tell you to buy things as a way to then do my job, which is not telling you to buy things. We don't make lifestyle... Yes, I tell you to buy things. We don't make lifestyle choices or even content choices that are product driven.

When I think of an influencer, that's what I think of. And also, I think a lot of people have an image in their mind when they think of an influencer. In fact, when I was at that fundraiser party thing I was telling you about, and I got into a conversation with a guy, I was like, he was like, what do you do? I was like, I make YouTube videos for a living.

You know, I was like, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna just cut to the chase. I was like, oh, you're an influencer. I was like, well, I'm probably not what you have in mind when you say influencer. Ooh, a little prickly. I mean, cause I'm a 45-year-old dad. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Like, I don't know. I'm just, yeah. I didn't put influencer. I didn't put content creator. What did you put? Founder. Founder.

Because that's what it says on my little thing that we have in our office. Yeah, well, I mean. You got one too. It says Mythical Entertainment, Rhett McLaughlin, founder. Everyone at Mythical has a little glass little thing that's on their desk. You're a co-founder.

Co-founder one of them? Well, here's the thing. Founder. What is that? In the industry. What do you do for a living? I'm a founder. Co-founder.

You did found something, but you're not a founder. You're not going around finding stuff. I mean, in the context of the first question, I am a founder. Television media founder? No, you're not. No. You're a liar is what you are.

I am in the television media business, and the business that I do television media through, I am the founder of, the only founder. I am one of the founders, but co-founder was not an option. You're an overly self-aware liar. I wrote co-founder in the description. I said, along with my lifelong best friend. Well, I said I founded. Along with.

I mean, the co is implicit. Because if you're a co-producer on something, we know, because people told us about this. Co-producer does not mean you produce along. It's like associate. You know what I'm saying? It's like, oh, yeah, you're not the producer. Lesser producer.

Yeah. All these terms. You can't say co. So anyway, you're a digital content creator, and I'm a television media founder, which brings me to another thing. You're a poser. Which brings me to another thing that I have no control over,

but people have pointed out on Twitter the difference in the way we're described in a Google search. I've seen this. And I am described as an actor, and you are described as a YouTuber. And again, this isn't something that we have any influence over. I mean, I might be an influencer or not, but yeah. So how do you feel about that?

Because I didn't plan that either. I just don't care. You know what? If you meet me, I'm uncategorizable. That's how I like to think about it. You know, I don't like labels. That's a label. Not liking a label is a label. And a lot of people who say that don't realize that they're just labeling themselves. What's the label? What's the label? Labels. That's a label. Not liking a label is a label.

And a lot of people who say that don't realize that they're just labeling themselves. What's the label? Someone who doesn't like a label. Yeah, but that's not a label. That's a lot, it's too many words to be on a label. That's like saying, ah. If you can't print it off in one of those label makers,

to me, it's not a label. No, okay, and I'm saying this as someone who likes to say, I don't know, you don't pin me down and I don't like to identify with an ideology. Well, that's my ideology. Let's just be honest. I mean, my ideology is liking to seem like I'm not. Ideologyless.

Yeah, uh-huh, is an ideology. I don't think that's it. Listen, no matter where you go, you're still going to be in a box. Even if it's the box that's outside of the box that you don't want to be in. Label a verse. Yep, was that on there? What about label-less? Even if it's the box that's outside of the box that you don't want to be in. It's just getting into another box. Yep. Was that on there? What about label-less?

Because there were several questions where the answer was prefer not to say, but this was not one of them. You couldn't say, I prefer not to say what I do for a living. Fun fact, J.R.R. Tolkien almost called label-less, label-less. Label-less?

Label-less. Oh, that is either a really convenient fact or a mediocre joke. It's called legolas, labolas. Labolas? Labolas. That is either a really convenient fact or a mediocre joke. It's a mediocre joke. And then if I made a joke about being ableist, that would be an inappropriate joke. Yeah, so you didn't do that.

I didn't do that. So anyway. I'm not ableist. This digital content creator and this television media founder are going to have a discussion today about other jobs that they could have or you could have, and maybe you do have, in fact.

Legalists better not be ableists. Let me tell you right now, if you have- I do not ruin Lord of the Rings for me. If that's the case, I don't want to hear it. If you have... I do not ruin Lord of the Rings for me. If that's the case, I don't want to hear it. If you have one of these jobs that we're going to talk about today, you have to call in. You have to call in. It is mandatory. This is live. We will answer the phone. 1-888-EARPOD-1.

If you know someone who has one of these jobs, it is mandatory for you to contact them and force them to call in and say that it is their job. Okay? That's coming from a television media founder, so you better listen. Oh, man. Stop the presses. Okay? I founded television media.

I deserve respect. Okay. Don't listen to this digital content creator. That's a dime a dozen. You go to high school with a bunch of digital content creators. You know what I'm saying? Why are you going to high school again? Don't be hanging around high schools. I'm just saying, if you're in high school, there's like four people in your high school who are digital content creators. Nothing wrong with it, I'm just saying

it's not how I describe myself. There's also a couple of rappers. If you're in LA, yeah, for sure. Yeah, there's definitely some rappers. And apparently Lincoln is fancying himself some sort of a rapper, I don't know. We now have a family thread and that's been re-enlivened by some pictures of the dogs that we just pass around, sometimes the cat.

And Lincoln will reply in couplets. He will rhyme. Wow. He will rhyme things. This is exciting. I'll have to look that up. What's the name of your family thread? FAM, all caps, F-A-M.

That's pretty cool. Do you have one? Yeah, I mean, I mean, Barbara and Sean's people. Oh, so it's doggy-centric too. Yeah, that is the name of our family thread. And of course the four of us have a family thread. The four of us, meaning us and our wives. Yep, we have a, yeah, we're not a family,

but we have a family thread. And it is called- Absolute Unit. And I don't remember why, I think we were hanging out one time and Jessie had just discovered what the term absolute unit meant. And she like wanted to share it with everyone,

including people who had known about it for many years. Okay, well that was a mischaracterization. My wife is the most internet savvy of the four of us, by far. What are you, what's, all of a sudden you're getting- You think my wife didn't know what absolute unit was? That's how I remember it. No, it was someone posted something in the chat

that was a big thing and it was, the meme was absolute unit. It was, and I don't know who posted the meme. So was it Christie that didn't know what absolute unit was? Potentially, but I don't remember if it was someone who didn't know. But if it was somebody who didn't know,

it was definitely not my wife. Jesse didn't know that it was a sports term. That's what I was saying. Absolute unit is something that comes from the world of sports. And it's been around for decades. It's not something that's, and it's been repurposed. As a meme. In a meme, which she understood what it meant.

I'm not saying she didn't know what it meant, but she didn't know. But what percentage of people do you think know that absolute unit was a sports term before it was a meme? I'd say 7% of the population. I wasn't like. Hey, I'm a television media founder. You gotta watch yourself around me. I wasn't, I mean, what did you think I was doing here? Like making her seem like an idiot? You said the reason that we named it

was because my wife didn't know what it was. And I was like, I think that's a mischaracterization. Okay. It's a good name for a thread, though. Well. And I think she did name that. I will give her credit for that. I think it was a picture of a really muscular dog.

Yeah, that makes sense. Absolute unit. Could have been a big duck. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together.

That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Want to remind you, if you're listening to this fresh, you have two days to take part in our Mythical Society anniversary sale. It's the last two days to join third degree annual plan and receive a choice of one of the past 2022 quarterly items while supplies last. So if you saw one of those things floating around and you didn't get

it, now you can get it, just for the next two days. Mythicalsociety.com for details. Okay, do you want to hear about some jobs? Yeah, how are you going to do this? You're just going to tell me about them? Yeah. Okay, all right. Do you want to be quizzed on them?

At the end? What do you think the first one I'm going to say is? Psychic quiz. This first one is one that I would be very excited about, and I believe that your wife would be even more excited about, since we're talking about each other's wives. I'm only saying good things about yours. Parmesan cheese listener.

So, what? Parmesan cheese listener. So, what? Parmesan cheese listener. So this makes complete sense once the context is established. Mostly a job in northern Italy. Ah. This person taps wheels of Parmesan cheese with a hammer to ensure it is ripe enough for sale.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Uh, cause you know it can take up to three years. It's kind of like thumping a melon, but over the course of three years. This is just a delightful thing to think about. I mean, first of all, man. Just knowing that the tone of yes, it's good to go. How often do you-

Pretty cool. Just find cheese in the fridge and just eat it straight? Never? Without exaggeration, I will say never. But if we are having a party and there's cheese. I like cheese on stuff, but. You don't, so, but there's never a moment and you're just like, I gotta just eat this cheese.

I've come to a conclusion about this because I've thought about it. I'm like, I've watched Christy eat cheese and I've just observed that something happens that I am completely missing. I don't, she's having an experience. What's your favorite food? What's your favorite flavor to put in your mouth?

Like what's it, when you put it in your, is it like an ice cream or something? Like you put some ice cream in your mouth and it like gives you like, I'd say close to like, it gets sexual. I mean, that's how I think it's, whatever part of your brain- People are that way with chocolate, you know.

I mean, more so than ice cream. What food makes you horny for food? Not horny for sex, horny for more of that same food. I don't know. It's like the first thing that comes to mind and the closest I can get, I think, is potato chips. Really? Like, they're very, you know, it's very addictive.

See, okay. I wanna keep going with that. That's an interesting observation because I completely understand- Definitely not sweets. The addictive nature of a potato chip, but that is a completely different part of my brain. So in other words, if I eat a potato chip, I'm like, dang, that's good. I gotta get another one. And that is

this process that can lead to me eating an entire bag of potato chips. Thankfully, I have the discipline usually to not do that. But cheese is completely different. That's what I've observed. There's something else lighting up in her brain. And cheese and chocolate is completely different. So that is the exact flavor that is happening. It isn't like, oh, I've got to eat a whole bag of cheese. It's no, this cheese, the way that this is, what is happening in my mouth, the complexity of the flavor,

the sharpness of it, whatever it is, that is something that I don't think there's any food that does it like that for me. I don't have that. I just don't have it. Man, I feel sorry for you. I know. I'm sad for myself right now. Just this weekend, Jesse was out of town and I ended up not getting any takeout. I cooked every meal because I was just like in this, I don't know. I was like, I'm just cooking and not anything real special. I made like a pot of beans and I made this like pasta

where I like got some, you know, just what the vegetables that were in the fridge that needed, were about to go bad and just kind of made this pasta. But I was actually- I was wondering, you know, I knew you were home along the weekend and I like, I dropped a couple of hints.

Like, you know, I can come over, we can hang out. And I definitely got the impression that you had your own plans and now I understand. I wasn't planning. You were like, oh, this is gonna be a me weekend, me and my beans, which I totally respect. When I get to my rec, I'll talk a little bit more about this.

Something I've kind of like discovered and something I'm moving into in the culinary world. But I was reading, so you got Noah, who was on Josh's, was on Hot Dog is a Sandwich recently. And has, you know, he has his new cookbook. Okay, yeah. And he sent it to us. And I was like, I've never actually like read a cookbook.

I've never just sat down and be like, oh, I'm going to look at this and I'm going to actually look at a recipe and follow the directions. Well, it's not a novel. You're talking about you've never made something from a cookbook? Well, most modern cookbooks are written more,

there's more of a narrative and more of a philosophical sort of beginning when it gets into something. It's like, oh, we used to do this. Here's a little story about my family. It's not just your grandma's cookbook. Huh. You know what I mean? Okay.

I'm into that. And he starts with these like staples, like, you know, this is how you do this. This is how you do this. And he was like, I always have a pot of beans, like make a pot of beans at the beginning of the week or whatever. And I was like, this is how you do this. This is how you do this. I always, and he was like, I always have a pot of beans, like make a pot of beans at the beginning of the week or whatever. And I was like, this is a great idea. What's the name of the cookbook you should say?

It is called the No Panic Pantry. Is that the name of it? Yeah, that sounds right. No Panic Pantry Cookbook. And, you know, his wife is Eliza, who was on- Schlesinger. Yes, who was on GMM. That's how we initially got to know everybody.

So anyway, he was giving his beans recipe. And I perked up a little bit. Yeah, you did. Because I don't really know what the hell I'm doing when it comes to beans. I just know that they taste good. And also, it's kind of hard for them not to taste good. But he gave us, when he gave us the cookbook, he gave us beans. I don't know if you noticed that.

He gave us beans and some EVOO. So I was like, I'm going to cook these beans, man. And, oh, I'm going to cook the pasta. He gave us some semolina pasta. And you followed his guidance. Yeah, so I made a pot of beans, and one of the things that he suggested to put in your beans is a Parmesan rind. Rind?

Yeah, so- You don't eat that part? It's very difficult to eat. Okay. Is that the part that the tapper taps on? I'm talking about the ends, you know, like- Because you can eat, like because you can eat like, you can eat the rind of a lot of cheeses,

but I guess you could eat the Parmesan rind. There's lots of things you could do. If you go on TikTok, you'll see people doing all kinds of things with Parmesan rinds. Of course. Like putting them in the microwave and making them into little like cheese puffs that are crispy.

There's all kinds of things you can do. But I put it in the beans. I made some beans that were great. I've still got them. I mean, I have a huge pot of beans that I'm slowly like putting in things, putting them in rice. And anyway, while I was making my beans,

I found some cheese because Jesse loves cheese as well. And we have like multiple cheeses that are just kind of in the cheese drawer. And I found that Merlot, it's like that Merlot like soaked cheese. Yeah, Jasper doesn't that Merlot soaked cheese. Yeah, Jasper doesn't like Merlot. That's what has been well established. He's growling.

What are you growling at? He doesn't like Merlot. We've been over this. It was a red wine flavored cheese. And it was, you know, it's just like a, it's like the size of a piece of pie. And I just set it out. And of course, I know, it's just like a, it's like the size of a piece of pie. And I just set it out. And of course, I'm just me, by myself.

Shepherd's there, he's gonna eat whatever I make. But I'm like playing some music. It's just me, Shepherd's there, but it's just me. He's in the house. He's not cooking with me. I'm playing some music. I actually listened to the whole Freddie Gibbs album since you've been talking about it so much,

which it was great. It was also a very interesting experience to be like cooking this meal and eating this cheese and listening to Freddie Gibbs. I wouldn't think it would go with that. It actually really worked. Well, he has another album called Alfredo, which that would have been a better one.

I didn't know. Yeah, you should've. So I'm eating this piece of cheese, like it's a piece of pie. And I literally ate the whole thing by myself. And it's triggering a part of your brain. And I've got, and I'm going back to it. I got this knife and I like cut a little piece of it

and I put it in like, like it's a spine tingling thing. It's like, like, yes, it's like, it's like an orgasm. I mean, let's just be honest with it. I mean, that's, it's doing the same thing that an orgasm does. And then you have a little cheese orgasm, a cheesegasm, and then you keep cooking and you go back, I gotta get one a little bit more.

That's not a potato chip, my friend. No. That does not happen with a potato chip. Uh-uh. Potato chip, for me, is like a blind grabbing of more food, which is really good. I think I'm a texture guy. It's a munchy thing.

I think that's what it is. I'm a texture, I'm a texture guy. I believe that you can find a food that gives you a taste chasm, and it's just really, you should be on a quest to find it. How much do they make tap in Parmesan? $40,000 a year. Which I mean, I don't know, in Northern Italy,

that might go a long way. I have no idea. I haven't been. Okay. Well, give me another one. We've only talked about one job. Yeah, but it was a Parmesan cheese listener, so we had to take a second to really go through it. What gives you a tastegasm?

Hashtag ear biscuits, hashtag tastegasm. This completely makes sense. Music and sound composer for slot machines. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's more press your luck, but I'm not much of a gambler. A lot of them are licensed now. They probably licensed some sort of theme song to go along with the Miami Vice slot machine.

to go along with the Miami Vice slot machine. Yeah, but even if there is a copyrighted song that's like a theme song, you don't want that theme song to be playing while you're playing because slot machines are specific. We know this because we met someone who designs them. Hypnotic. This was one of the first things,

I mean, really early in our career, probably 2007, 2008, when we went to Good Experience Live in- Yeah, the gel conference. New York City. And she was either a journalist or psychologist or a little bit of both. And like she had studied.

Yeah, she didn't do it. She was studying. The addictive nature of the gambling industry and how it's so, there's so much science involved in keeping you in that seat. Yeah. And getting in this, like putting you in this state of flow where you can't get off the stool. You just got to stay there and hit it again and hit it again. Including. Like you and your cheese. Not winning too much and not losing too much. Both winning too much and losing too much takes people out of a flow that will actually,

if they stay in the seat for longer, it will extract more of their money, which is what the casinos want. Sure. So they get psychologists to design these machines. And you know the music's a part of that. Yeah. So how much do they get paid? It's not all about how much you get paid, but...

They get between $68,000 and $81,000 a year, so they're making a little bit more. I mean, and they're contributing to an industry that is just sucking money out of people's wallets. Seems like they could get paid more. Yeah. They need a better agent. Yeah, so I mean, they're basically sitting there

thinking about this is what's gonna happen when this happens. When you win, this is what happens. When you lose, this is what happens. When you're in the flow, this is the thing that we're going to play. This is the sound that pulling this thing is going to make. You know what? I just decided I'm going to try slots

because there's no way I would get sucked into it. I'm not going to play any other gambling, but I am going to Vegas. We solidified our plans, our football dad plans to go to Vegas. It's quite a group you got going here. Six of us. Be careful.

Six of us. Be careful. What, we're gonna see a show? I didn't plan on gambling. I'll look over people's shoulders. There's been a lot of movies about a group of dads going to Vegas. I haven't seen any of them. And things are going south real fast.

The hangover, haven't seen it. How many hangovers are there? At least two, three. I guess I should watch them. There's three of them? Three. Well, I better start now. Cautionary tale, huh?

I mean, there's also ones that are not comedies. It was, leaving Las Vegas, entering Las Vegas, fearing loathing in Las Vegas, entering Las Vegas, fearing loathing in Las Vegas, flying over Las Vegas on your way to the Grand Canyon. I'm much more of a Grand Canyon guy than a Vegas guy, but I'm going along for the ride. Anybody in the group- Slots is easy, right?

Are you excited about gambling? Excited about like blackjack or poker? I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, I like to play poker. Have'm sure. Yeah. I mean, I like to play poker. Have you ever done slots? But, just for like,

oh yeah, let's just put $10 into this thing or whatever, yeah. I think you were probably there. It was probably like on tour. I didn't even go down there. Like,

because there's smoking down there and I don't like that. There's not smoking down there now, is there? Oh, some of them. You have to go through smoking sections. You can still smoke in a casino? Sections.

And you know... In casinos, you can smoke for as long as you're by the games. See? I can't stand that. Okay. I also can't stand gambling. It's just, you know, I think it's like cheese. It's like... No, it's not. No, it's just, you know, I think it's like cheese. It's like...

No, it's not. No, it's not, man. Come on, that's blasphemous. And it's not that I don't have an addictive personality or addictive whatever the thing is. I do think I have some of that. Like, when I really like something, I'm like, I'm all in. And I'm going back for more. I don't know if I would call

that addictive. Okay. Because addictive personalities tend to jump to different things and get drawn into things. I think you're committed to things. Like once you find something you like, you follow through with it. So that I don't hurt its feelings. But you're not addicted.

I will probably stay at that slot machine so that I don't offend it. I really want to go, but I don't want to leave it alone. It's going so that I don't offend it. I really wanna go, but I don't wanna leave it alone. It's gonna think I don't like it. I've never had a rewarding experience. And I mean, I've won some money gambling or like playing poker, but I can't say that I've ever looked back at the time that I spent doing any of that and thought to myself, I had a great time.

Even in times when I've been gambling or most of the time it would be playing poker. I barely know the rules of blackjack. But the idea that you would play poker with a group of friends, right? This is a concept that exists. Yeah. But what I found in the circles that I have done this in,

no one's really up for conversation. They're all playing a game. Oh, really? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, there's been a couple of environments that I was in where I was like, okay, I kind of feel like the main thing I'm here to do is like hang out with these people. And okay, now me and this guy are talking

but now these guys are upset with us because every time it comes around to us we don't immediately react because we're not here to play poker we're here to connect and so I think you have to make a choice and then if it's just like just a bunch of people sitting around competing against each other now obviously there's a part of me that appeals to, but I'm also like, this is gonna take, we're gonna be here for hours and I'm most likely going to lose money because my brain gets real tired

in those like multiple steps of strategy and like, we have to figure out what this guy's got and then what you've got and your odds and all that stuff. My brain just kind of decides that it's done pretty early. Don't even get me started, meaning I couldn't even start. And so, I don't know, I've never found it rewarding. So if I was going to Vegas with you, thanks for inviting me, I was, you know, I didn't want to be invited.

I mean, as a television media founder, I have a very busy schedule. I think you need to be alone making beans. I have multiple, you know, I have a very busy schedule. I think you need to be alone. I have multiple, you know, I have a lot of people protecting my time and I probably couldn't do it anyway. And I don't know any of these guys and it would be weird. It would actually be really weird. You do not know any of them. I'm bringing my best friend. I bring him everywhere. No, I don't want to go. But you, the thing that I find very interesting is you have stated on multiple occasions how much you dislike Las Vegas.

Yes. And you're going. I like their company, and I want to see a Cirque du Soleil show. That should be fun. We're going to see, oh, there's water. Oh. There's water. There's water involved.

There's water. There's water involved. Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. Okay, I question whether or not I would be into this next job. An e-nucleator,

otherwise known as an eye bank technician. This person extracts the entire eyeball or the corneas of the eye. This is done on those who have passed. Oh, yes, yes. Dead folks who are organ donors. Okay. And then basically taking them to the lab,

getting them ready to transplant into someone who needs them, which just could be transformative for people. People who have certain forms of blindness or eye cancer, it's basically a way to keep the eye socket intact and kind of like put a new cornea on there, you know? Otherwise you gotta like get their eye out of their socket, which I guess involves like breaking it. Ew. Oh God.

That's the worst thing I've ever heard. I'd rather tap a cheese wheel, for sure. I don't wanna tap your eye socket until it breaks. So these people are really good at plucking eyeballs out of dead people. Yeah, yeah, they make that sound when it happens. I mean, it seems like it just all comes down to just a tool, right?

It's probably one specialized tool. It's not like, you know, like a hammer and chisel. I'm sure if you're taking the eyeball out, there's some sort of vacuum. It's probably just a Dyson with a hammer and chisel. I'm sure if you're taking the eyeball out, there's some sort of vacuum. It's probably just a Dyson with a certain fixture on it. You know, you gotta watch out. Don't get a vacuum close to your face. Oh my gosh.

This, can we, let's move on. Well, you only, I don't wanna. You may make 38 to $40,000 a year doing it too. You know, I feel like you should get more money than that if you are sucking people's eyeballs out. I bet the sucking out's easier than the putting in. I don't know. Is it the same tool?

Is it a different tool? Well, this is it- As much as I would hate to see it, I kind of want to see it. Well, I don't have any pictures. Good. But you know that the person who's putting the eye, cornea or whatever, into a living person

is making a shit ton of money. Oh yeah. Right? That's like a surgeon. Yeah, they're working with a living- A living person who can sue you. Yeah. So yeah, so you want to be working with a living. A living person who can sue you. Yeah. So yeah, so you wanna be working with the, what I'm learning here is you wanna be working

with the living and not the dead. Yeah, it's a lot of trouble though. It just depends on what your dreams are, I guess. A lot more opinions. This feels like something that you in another life could be good at, this next one. Okay. It feels, even though ironically, another life could be good at, this next one. It feels, even though ironically, you're not great with numbers,

it just feels like there's something about this that would appeal to your personality, and that is to work for the Department of Weights and Measures as an inspector. Okay, so is he an authority figure? This is basically a trained inspector that goes around and tests whether or not consumers are actually getting the amount of product they pay for.

Oh, a measurement police. So like- It's like Barney Fife, but with a ruler. Yeah, I mean, you're going in- That's me, baby. To like a grocery store, making sure that like, oh, they say that this is a pound and a half of steak. Well, let's make sure it is. Oh, and by the way, while I'm here, let me test your scale,

all these scales that you've got all over the grocery store. And some people might- Is this a government job? It is a government position. And this is where you get into, let's get political. How about that? Because, you know, like many people, you know, I once at one point in my life, like read a book by a libertarian and thought that sounded great, you know?

I was like, oh, yeah, the government's horrible and they shouldn't do anything. They shouldn't do anything. Everything should weigh, it should be meaningless. Weights and measures. The market will take care of itself. Yeah. If you're charging, if you're trying to pass off what pound of meat is a pound and a half of meat, you'll get found out.

Probably not actually. You'll probably just deceive a lot of people. But anyway, yes, this is a government position to make sure that the things that people are selling are what they say they are, specifically in the measurement of those things. What, are there any other examples? Grabbing produce or deli meat, grocery stores,

going around to different gas stations and testing that each pump is actually spitting out a gallon when the meter says it is. Oh. So they've got like this special tank that's exactly a gallon. Yeah, it's just a gas tank. Yeah. It's a special tank.

I mean, I would like to see this person's vehicle. It's full of things. There's probably lots of containers. I thought you'd get excited about this. And like measures and stuff. But could you? I bet he's got like laser measurements and laser scales. I feel like this is something that you could get excited about.

Like if you think about what your day would involve, right? But then you're the enemy. You're the overlord enemy. But are you really? Yeah, it's like. Because it's not like a health inspector at a restaurant. You're telling me my ham scale is off? Now I gotta get a new scale?

How much is this gonna cost? Yeah, if you're going around to like New York delis maybe, but I would think that the average business actually wants their stuff to be accurate. Well, that's what the person says. I think that you want this information. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you wanna know. Yeah, you're doing a service.

But okay, aside from the interaction with people, loading up a car full of one gallon tanks. Just traveling around the county. And you got a ruler. Measuring stuff. And you've got a belt with things on it. I know you like those. Measure man. You know?

I feel like you'd be into this. Because it's making sure that something is right. Making sure that something is what it's purported to be. I think I would be comfortable taking bribes in this profession. Because what's the worst that can happen? Oh, you got a little less ham. Oh, pad my pockets. Yeah, I put some ham in my britches.'s the worst that can happen? Oh, you got a little less ham. Oh, pad my pockets. Yeah, I put some ham in my britches.

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I wonder how, I mean that, I wonder how common it is for somebody to be a crooked department of weights and measures inspector. Just the corruption is just rampant in the weights and measures division. I mean, I would think that-

The guy's driving from town to town, from gas station to gas station in like a Rolls, man. I would think that there are places where bribery and corruption is just sort of part of the way that government is done, which is in many, many places. And it's also the United States, but for whatever reason,

the U.S. is kind of known for when it comes to these kinds of things of like there not being a lot of corruption at that level. It's like, okay, yeah, it's probably going to be a gallon. I don't know exactly why that is, but it tends to be the case. So you probably get into a shit ton of trouble if you did it in the United States but this might be

this might be something that's happening in other places it might and it sounds like a good plot for a TV show as a television media founder I have to think about these things if somebody if something seems like it would make a great series idea that's a winner

that's what I usually say you know this could be a winner. Could be a winner. I guess I'm just going to vlog about it. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anubay! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman.

I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show. With the best celebrity guests. And hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel.

There are a series of people who do things that you would not think needed to be professionals for. Okay. Starting with professional mourners. I think I've heard about this one. What do you know about this? They show up at funerals. You know about this, Jenna? Oh yeah, I would absolutely about this one. What do you know about this? They show up at funerals. You know about this, Jenna?

Oh, yeah. I would absolutely do this. Yeah. You have to be sad for people that you don't know so that the people who do know that person feel like that that person knew somebody. I cry at commercials. Oh, I can do that.

No problem. I mean, have you been tempted to crash a funeral? Well, I... that no problem so you i mean have you been tempted to crash a funeral well i kind of accidentally have before and then didn't want to leave i was like well i'll just stand in the in the back and i remember this story respectful right well i don't know if i've ever told you this story well i remember it well it. Well, let's hear it. Measure Man remembers everything. There's something familiar about it. I agree, but okay, tell us a story. I, you ever just walk around somewhere and you're...

Yeah, funeral town. And then you realize it's a funeral and you're like, oh, I kind of wear those people that I'm like, oh, I wonder what's going on in there. And I'll just pop my head in. Like a church or a funeral home or a cemetery? It was a cemetery. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I knew what was going on, but I was curious. Right. Blending right in. Just weeping like a baby. Yeah. Isn't that what they do? I would totally get paid for it. I've been to enough funerals.

Yeah. Apparently it's pretty popular in China. The idea being to make a funeral feel more full and also to help people grieve by sort of like beginning to cry. Right. It's like the first person to start applauding. They also may even perform karaoke and dance routines.

What? Yeah, uh-huh. Again, that's- Just to warm up the crowd. That's something that happens at Chinese funerals, I guess. So it's a fake... They're fake

wailing. They're probably able to tap into something and be very convincing, but it's conjured. But who knows that they're a professional mourner? Because if like... Well, I think that they're a professional mourner? Because if like- Well, I think that it's just a part of it. But if you died and we were having your funeral

and there was somebody there who I did not know, who was really getting into, who is this asshole? But if you were in China, you would know. It's just part of it. Oh, you're saying that. It's a helpful service. You're saying that, oh yeah, that's the professional morning. That's the PM.

Right, yeah. He's pretty good. Pretty good. Oh yeah. Pretty convincing. Can I get your card? The best ones rise to the top. They charge a little bit more.

As easily as I cry at commercials. No whimpering. I don't think I would be good at this because it's too real and too visceral. No snorting. I tend to cry at things that I feel separated from, which I guess, not knowing a person who died. Yeah. You and Jenna. You don't get to hang out.

But you know what would get me? At funerals. A loved one telling a good story about them. I could cry. Boy, I'll cry in that situation. I don't have to know anything about this person. Maybe I could do this, but I'm so big. It's a scene, who's a tall guy?

Dressing all black to think you're the Grim Reaper. He's gonna get me next. Yeah, don't wear a hood, homie. I don't know if I can do it. Don't bring your Sith. The salary is based on the events, so you can make up to $500 per event. It's not a bad day. Karaoke.

I've heard of this one before as well. Uh, a professional bridesmaid. This is someone hired to be in a wedding party. That's, that feels a little more awkward, but maybe, is this a, another culture? No. Uh, the article that this comes from was talking about someone who's doing this in America. And it kind of sounds like a glorified wedding planner for things that

are a little bit more tertiary it's like you need your bridesmaid to like tell you what she thinks about your dress

etc and that kind of thing that seemed to be the way that it was contextualized in this particular article

it's like maybe you don't have a friend that you trust. And so you get somebody who's like, why don't you just kind of be here to like hold down the fort and just, you've got some sense and my friends don't kind of thing. But the sad situation would be- More of a consultant.

That you just don't have enough friends to fill out a wedding party, which I've been to weddings like that. Well, you want the number of groomsmen to match the number of bridesmaids. And sometimes that doesn't happen. I've been to a wedding where there was one groomsman and like six bridesmaids because they were like,

we're not gonna not have like- That's okay. Yeah. You felt bad? You felt bad for the groom? Yeah, he needed some professional- I could have loaned out a few. I had way too many. I had 19 groomsmen and seven ushers and-

We both did the same thing. All my friends. With a bunch of groomsmen and then ushers with the friends that couldn't fit on stage. Big time. We had a big time. Yeah, we definitely didn't need any professionals in that situation. I'm not, like, this is not appealing to me at all.

I don't really, I don't really like weddings. All the aspects, the pageantry and all the planning I mean, I'd rather go to a wedding than a funeral. Don't get me wrong. Just the planning aspect when it comes to parties in general. Like I said, I'll cook for you, and I will put my heart and soul into that, and I will really think about that aspect of it.

I also like organizing a game for a group of people. But I don't know. When it moves into like, you've got to walk this way at this time, according to at this, where this song is playing. And this is like the order of things that happen again. So you're not going to renew your vows. Christie told me this morning,

she had a dream that you and Jesse renewed your vows. It's like a big wedding. Jesse and I had a conversation about this recently. You considering it? No, I think I was like, I think I said, I just don't think I would ever do that. I don't think I would ever have a vowel renewal. It's in Wheel of Fortune, man. It's a vowel, not a vowel.

Vowel. Vowel renewal? Vowel. Vowel renewal? Vowel. Vowel renewal. A vowel. And I said, I add L's to words that don't have them and leave them out of words that do have them. It's one of my things. Well, I pronounce the H's in words

because they're in them. The white. I told her that I thought that a vowel renewal was a sign that things were not going well. Yeah, I totally her that I thought that a vow renewal was a sign that things were not going well. Yeah, I totally believe that. And she was like, no, it's just like, you wanna have a party and have friends and stuff. But to me, it's like, I feel like when somebody

has a vow renewal, it's like, oh, he cheated. You know what I'm saying? Or something. I'm not saying that's what always happens, but it feels like that's what happens. They're trying to turn a big corner. Oh, they've been going to counseling and they decided to stick it out.

Yep. And I'm just like, just have a party. Maybe it's appropriate for that. Maybe I don't understand. I know I don't understand. I think those are good reasons to have a vow renewal when it's like, so I'm not dogging those reasons. It's just that's why I'm not in a position

where I want to renew my vowels, you know? Because I'm not like, I'm not coming back from the bottom of the barrel. You know, I'm not trying to turn a big corner. We have talked about how- It's kind of like having a, like having a, like, it's the difference between having an anniversary party. You know, it's like, oh, 40th wedding anniversary,

50th wedding anniversary. Exactly. If you turn it into a vow renewal, well that, something else is going on. That's what I think. A party that is about a couple would be fun. That would be fun. Yeah. But when it gets into the specific renewal part,

I don't know, I guess people could be like, hey, listen, I just- Renewal means it got old. I wanna let you know. Yeah, exactly. You don't renew a warranty on something unless it runs out. Right. You don't like, I'm getting my so-and-so refinished.

Why? Why? Because it was dull? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it was dull and bland. It was over it. I was thinking about throwing it away. But instead-

And then we decided to refinish it. Yeah. Yeah. We've just, we have just crapped all over anyone who's planning a renewal. It's like the difference between having a birthday party. Hey, come to my 40th birthday party.

Hey, come to my 40th rebirth ceremony. That would be weird. You show up at somebody's 40th birthday party and they like crawl out of a womb. No, no. You know, like it's paper mache. It's not slimy. No, it's slimy. Completely dry.

Well, you don't want a wet paper mache. Well, it's just for the moment. Yeah, but then it's like ripping. You don't want that. That comes out with some like- No, I think that makes it more pliable. Like you don't want that. Ooh. You know what I'm saying? Let's just go to him. You don't want that.

You know what I'm saying? Let's just go to Vegas. You know what I'm saying? I think there's good reasons for vow renewal. I just want to throw out. Okay, Jenna. I'm going to throw out two reasons that are good reasons for vow renewals. One, they didn't get the wedding that they wanted for whatever reason. Okay, good answer. Okay reason. Okay, good answer.

Okay. Good answer, good answer. Two, I read a really great book a few years back called Love Lives Here, and it's a story of a married couple, and one of the partners transitioned to a woman, so they renewed their vows. Okay, that makes sense. With her as her true self.

That's a big corner. Yes. So, yeah. Yeah. There was a change. Yes. Okay, yeah, okay. Those scenarios make sense.

Okay, so the budgeting one, that also makes sense. I mean, the reason that Jessie and I have had even a conversation about this is because our, I was just talking to somebody about this the other day. Our wedding was not indicative at somebody about this the other day, our wedding was not indicative at all of who we have become, right? It was like, obviously it was super duper Christian, right? It was a totally Christian ceremony.

It was all about, hey, let's read these scriptures, let's sing these songs. And the vowels were very much about some things that I actually didn't keep my vow. I didn't keep my vow. I said I was going to always follow Jesus and lead you in this relationship, and I'm not doing that anymore. Still happily married.

Wow. More happily married than ever. Sounds like you might need a renewal, man. We didn't have alcohol at our wedding, you know? I want to have a wedding just so I can have alcohol. She wasn't even old enough to drink. She was 20. So yeah, we would do things a lot differently.

Jenny, you changed his mind. Yeah, now I still have a reason. As long as it's a destination vow renewal, I will be there. And I think- Destination, that's what I'm saying. Oh, of course, of course. But I still just think you make Destination, that's what I'm saying. Oh, of course, of course. But I still just think you make it an anniversary party is all I'm saying.

If there's not a corner turned, and it's just really, hey, we just love each other, wanna celebrate our love in the context of our family and friends, in the way that we would celebrate our love now. I don't know. Anniversary? But maybe there is a little ceremony of sorts.

I haven't found any job that I want to do. What about professional cure? And this is someone who stands in line for people who don't want to stand in line. Like? I want the new PlayStation, but I don't want to stand in line. Like? I want the new PlayStation, but I don't want to go camp out for it, whatever is required. You can pay somebody approximately $20 to $25 an hour. Very popular in the UK.

I wonder why. And then- I think it's because it's called a Cure. Like, in America, we don't know what a Cure is. We don't have a good- Line stander. It's like, what in America, we don't know what a cue is. We don't have a good, line stander. It's like, what does that mean?

A liner. That's something in the bed of a truck, you know? We just don't have a name for it. That's the reason why no one does it here. This is for basically

a rich person who doesn't want to waste their time. I mean, that's what we're looking at here. You know, with the right equipment, I could be good

at standing in a line. What would be the equipment? Like one of those chairs that's attached to your butt? Yep, yep. You sit down and it comes out, and then you stand back up, and you don't ever have to touch it? It looks like you're wearing a really long butt plug.

Yeah. It's just a stool, yeah. It's a stool that sticks out like a tail. Right, it's a cane. For your, it's an ass cane. It's going up your butt. Yeah, yeah, it's an ass cane. I wouldn't do that.

I don't, I mean, I can't think of anything I want anyone to wait in line for. Like I've never ever, except one time. Waited in a line? No, no, no, no. Like those things where you got to get up at 3 a.m. The only thing I've ever done that was an extended- Back in the day, I did a Black Friday TV best buy.

No, I was in a tent waiting for- Tickets. Basketball tickets back when they used to do that in NC State. That was fun. They still do that in a lot of colleges. That was fun. And I remember this freshman year, it was for the Carolina game,

and we were in the tent, and it was like one guy in the tent at a time. Yep, someone had to always be there. You had your system and your rotation. People would go to class, and they would take over. It was like for a couple of days. I remember waking up in the middle of the night

because it was very difficult to sleep because it was loud, because it was a bunch of college students camping out. And I like hear some commotion and unzip the tent and I look and there's just like a couch on fire. Yep. And unfortunately that was the last time they let anyone camp out for tickets at State

because so much hell was raised. Yeah, I didn't actually do the camping out. But you got to go to the game. I think I did. Someone had to be smart and keep the grades up. He was like, I'll take one for the team. I'll be working on my grades. You're like, I need my sleep.

I can't. So anyway, yeah, I didn't know. You did a TV, a Black Friday line? I think so. It went when? In what TV? I think when we first moved out here, cause I remember there was a Best Buy near your house.

You did it in California? Maybe it wasn't a TV. Maybe it was some sort of Christmas present. I can't remember what it was. Okay, couple more. Doesn't matter. This is one I could not have told you existed. A face feeler, otherwise known as a sensory scientist.

So- What? I mean, making 25 bucks an hour, so you're not really raking it in, but what you do is there are all these products that people use like a razor or an anti-aging serum, some face lotion, and you can't just give somebody a razor or an anti-aging serum, some face lotion. And you can't just give somebody a razor

and have them shave and then have them feel their skin to tell you how smooth it is, because they don't know. You have to get a set of hands on a person who is feeling faces up to- This is like the measurement. Up to 25 faces a day to make sure that these products are living up to their standards. So that there's like a, it's control hands.

It's somebody would, that is like, no, actually you think that razor's good, it's not good. I feel faces all freaking day. You know what I'm saying? I just think that I would like to be on the receiving end of that. You know, I've had a good face massage before. Okay, I can see that you would like

to be receiving that. I've never just sat down for nothing but a face massage, but there's been a couple of times where I've got a full body thing and there's been a face portion to it. And I'm like, you know what, this is pretty good. I feel like something's happening to my sinuses. Like really deep in the cheeks.

Oh, and you know, with me and my chewing and my talking and my mouth flapping, it's like, yeah, getting all this stuff. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, just make it melt. Yeah, I'm not into that. I'm not into watching you do it, and I'm not into thinking about it being done. Oh, yeah, it's no good. But you do not end up feeling people's faces. Nope. I'm not into watching you do it and I'm not into thinking about it being done. Oh, ew, it's so good. But you do not end up feeling people's faces.

Nope. I'm a receiver. How about a paper towel sniffer? This is your last one? You're ending with this one? Nope, I'm not gonna end with that one. Paper towel sniffer? This is somebody who works for the company to certify

that they're putting the right scent on it or something? It's just basically if you make paper towels, you don't want them to smell like anything. Like there's something in a paper- And it takes a person. Have you ever thought about that? Like a good roll of paper towels, you just smell it and you're like,

they don't have a smell. Yeah, I guess I never thought about that. And I think that's a sign of quality. Because toilet paper sometimes has a scent. If it's scented, right, yeah. And trash bags do, definitely. But you don't want paper to have like an off-gassing smell. Like if you smell like paper paper,

this is actually pretty good paper because it doesn't smell like anything. It just smells like maybe like a tree, you know? Yeah, I think I'm smelling the ink. But I feel like if you get cheap paper, it smells like chemicals. You get cheap toilet paper or paper towels, so that's somebody's job.

And they're making 52 grand a year. But. You saved the best for last. A panda fluffer. I'll make a panda floofy. It's like combing a panda. No, no, no, no. You know what a fluffer is?

I've heard the term, but I think I do know. The first time I ever heard about a fluffer, it was somebody who makes sure that a male porn performer is ready to go. Oh. And making sure that he stays ready to go. No pillows involved. But apparently a panda fluffer, as you know,

they're an endangered species and they need to have sex with one another. And apparently- To make more pandas, yeah. They are not great at it. I mean, you can kind of look at them and tell that they're probably not good at sex. You ever seen a panda do anything?

Like they're like, a panda, every time you see- Sit up, meet Bamboo. Every time you see a panda doing anything, it's like they're not doing it well. Have you ever seen a video of a... Besides eating bamboo. So they're cute. All that panda's walking great. No, it's like, that panda looks like maybe something's wrong.

Like, that panda just feels like it's about to fall over. Like, every... I don't know. All the panda videos I've seen... You think they should just go? You're over it? I think maybe we should just let them go. I mean, you know. Just let them.

Do we need them? What do you need them for? I mean, yeah. You're gonna have to renew your vows on some panda, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we can't get rid of the panda. I love pandas. I believe in them.

Pandas can't do anything well except be cute. But you know what? I think pandas being cute is a good enough reason to keep them around. And this requires a human intervention. Yeah, you got to get a panda hard. Come on now, don't just... Yeah. You got to fluff it.

Fluff is a good word. That's like the perfect word for it. Like, I feel like I'm making my bed. Well, they use- Don't say hard. They use- Don't say that. Well, it can't be soft.

It doesn't work. They use a feather duster and other instruments. Bring in the eye plucker. See what he can do. To cautiously help turn pandas on. Bring in the measurement too while you're at it, you know? Somebody's got gotta certify. I mean, think about it.

Like you're just trying to get pandas- Feather dusters? To get it on. A feather duster provides- $27,000 a year for this. I mean, I- Well, you're being paid in other ways. Yeah, right.

There's a satisfaction in the job itself. I will say, I don't think a panda- Few people get to work that closely with pandas. I don't think a panda could actually hurt you. I bet you a panda could kill you. No, listen, this is, again, I know it's a bear. I know it's probably strong, but I think a panda would take a swipe at you,

miss you, and fall over and do a somersault. Like, that's how I picture- And then everyone would applaud. That's how I picture a panda would take a swipe at you, miss you, and fall over and do a somersault. And then everyone would applaud. That's how I picture a panda trying to attack you. There's no way he's actually going to make contact. I mean, they've got us fooled, man. They've really got us ratting around their finger. I mean, to be honest with you, it's not a surprise that we're having to help them out.

Right. They're spoiled. Grizzlies, on the other hand, they're just thriving. You know? I don't know. I actually don't think so. In certain places, that's true. I think we basically killed every brown bear in California.

Fluff a grizzly. They're still on the flag, but they are completely extinct because that's what people do. I'm just making light of it because sometimes you just have to, you have to laugh to keep from crying. Fluffing ain't easy. So I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm glad you ended with this because sometimes you just have to, you have to laugh to keep from crying. Fluffing ain't easy.

So I'm glad you ended with this one. I fully believe in this. I believe in the fluffing of pandas. I am a pro panda fluffer. And I will say, vote for me. If you do, like I said earlier, if you do any of these jobs,

especially if you're a panda fluffer, if you're a panda fluffer, we may actually have you on the show. Okay? I mean, it depends on how charismatic you are when we talk to you on the phone. We'll at least do a segment of panda fluffing.

Okay. It's just a normal duster? I mean, what kind of duster? All I gotta say is now that we're, you know, we're doing all kinds of content, we fluffed a panda feels like a winning internet video. I don't want that. Okay, I'll do it. I don't want that on me.

I got long arms and I'm quick. I'm fleet footed and I got long arms. Okay, I'll do it. I don't want that on me. I got long arms and I'm quick. I'm fleet footed and I got long arms. I think I can do it. A long feather duster. Let me give you a recommendation as I- Good luck in your job search. Yeah. You're welcome.

I mean, listen, unemployment is really, really low right now, but it's really, there's still a lot of opportunities out there, and we've just given you that many more options. I've gotten really into a Reddit thread called Cast Iron. What? It's just people talking about their cast iron pans.

And- That's all over the internet. People restoring them. I like that. Well, yeah, seasoning, right? Which again, I didn't really, when people talk about seasoning a pan, I was like, I don't really know what you're talking about. Seasoning is kind of a misnomer

because it really just means heating oil on the surface of the cast iron to a certain temperature so that it basically becomes a nonstick pan. And a lot of people, like me, for years, like everybody has a cast iron pan that some relative gave them, right? And I would cook with it and it would like,

man, this isn't good. Like, I don't know how to clean it. You're not supposed to put soap on it or whatever. Like, you think stick to it. Like, I'm obviously, this is bullshit technology, we should use non-stick, right? And then you realize the zen of cast iron and also stainless steel pans.

Like you go into like a fine restaurant, they're not gonna have Teflon, they're not gonna have non-stick pans because those things work for a couple of months and in a restaurant setting, it'll probably work for a couple of weeks and then the coating comes off, whatever. And so these people in restaurants actually just know how to cook properly on these surfaces.

But what's on the thread? Well, the thing that's really been blowing up on the thread recently is a guy who did 80 coats of seasoning on his pan and made it into that. What is that? What am I looking at? The bottom of a pan that's, like, gray. of seasoning on his pan and made it into that. What is that? What am I looking at? The bottom of a pan that's like gray. No, no, it's like a mirror. Very clean.

No, you don't understand. You don't really look at cast iron pans before, right? You're like. Yeah, they're black. Yeah, but they're not shiny. So a cast iron pan that you just buy is going to be a matte surface. This guy did the seasoning process 80 times in a row as he says,

I'm at 80 coats now, don't do it guys, this is just for internet clout and for science and also to make random internet strangers unreasonably mad. And so everybody on the thread is pretty excited about this right now because it's so shiny. It's just so glossy. I gotta say, mine's kinda glossy, but I did like three or four coats. This is a strong recommendation from Rhett today. He wants you to look at seasoned cast iron pans on Reddit. Well, and this is kind of beyond the Reddit thread, and I am recommending

that you ditch your non-stick pans and you get cast iron pans and stainless steel pans and learn how to actually use them properly, and you'll thank me. You will thank me. All right. Let us know what you actually think about all this. Hashtag Ear Biscuits. Leave us a voicemail. 1-88-EAR-POD-1 We'll talk to you

next time. Hey Rhett and Link. My name is Heather and I've got a really unique business which is why I think it's so crazy that you guys basically explained what it is on Link's deconstruction episode on your most recent episode of the podcast. So basically, I've made an entire business out of taking people to the zoo, adult people at that. And we go around each week focusing on a different animal and the different things that we can learn

from the animal. So I just think it's awesome, Link, that you've kind of discovered that intuitively on your own. And I know from experience and reviews, that can be a positive, powerful thing. So keep it up. That's awesome. Bye.