Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - We Reveal Our Personal Uber Ratings | Ear Biscuits Ep. 412

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

We all rate our Uber drivers, but what do they rate us? In this episode, Rhett and Link find out what their Uber stats actually are – from the 5 stars to the 1 stars. Plus, Rhett shows off a new skill, and Jenna has a surprise vision board for Link. Who’s the better passenger? Start building your credit. Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit to get started. Get started at chime.com/ear. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. to reward Slayer. Rise to it with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card and get rewarded for paying your credit card bill in full and on time each month. Terms and conditions apply. Click the banner or visit bmo.com slash rise to learn more. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link.

And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're going to be finding out just how good or bad of a rider we each are. A rider. A rider. You're not talking about a horse rider. Rider.

A passenger. You're talking talking about a horse rider. Rider. A passenger. You're talking about a- In an Uber. An Uber rider. Mm-hmm. Okay. There's now a way to find out. Maybe there's always been a way and no one explained it to me.

Okay, all right. And I know that you're also like really big into a new thing that like you just, you're so excited about it, you can't stop talking about it. The funny thing about it is, is like, it's become so much of a new thing that like you just, you're so excited about you can't stop talking about it. The funny thing about it is, is like, it's become so much of a bigger thing

because we've almost included it in the past like three episodes and it actually- Cut for time. It isn't, it's the thing that keeps getting cut for time. And now it's kind of built up

and I, you know what? I'm not going to disappoint you. I'm not going to disappoint you. I'm potentially going to change your life. Well, I have something to add this week, so you might get it cut for time.

No, I'm going first. You go first, okay. What? Well, Link, last episode, you asked me to make you a vision board based off of your passions, and I made you a vision board. Ha! Really?

Yeah, so I'm good. Well, now I feel like I should've ranked my passions. Yeah, he should've. I would've made you one, too. Oh, okay, all good. Well, now I feel like I should have ranked my passions. Yeah, he should have. I would have made you one too. Oh, okay, all right. Did you go a little rogue? Well, don't tell me. You'll have to see it.

All right, I'll have to see it. Oh, I got a vision board. Where is it? I have it hidden. It's hidden under my desk. Must not be that big. Yeah, I have it hidden under my desk. It's little.

Is it frameable? It is. Anything's frameable. Speaking of frameable, one of the best Christmas gifts I got, I still have not put up on my wall, and it was framed. Lily surprised me with a, she emulated like a concert poster, like a venue poster. like a concert poster, like a venue poster, but it was Lincoln Lilly's listening party, spa listening party or something.

Hot tub, hot tub. It's not in front of me, so I can't remember exactly. Hot tub listening party. And it was like it was an event because we would get in the hot tub and listen to music. And like, I would turn around to some music. How did she have it made? She just had a friend who was a graphic designer who like made it.

Isn't that sweet? Oh, that's so sweet. It's so sweet, and it's so sweet that I haven't put it up. Kids have never done anything that sweet for me. Haven't put it up. How big are we talking? You know, it's like a 11 by 17. You know, it's like a...

Well, that made you feel special. It made me feel special. And now I got to follow through. I got to put that thing up. I think I'm going to put it in my office in the creative house. You know, it's like I can put anything I want on my walls in my office.

It's a great reason to have a creative house. I don't have to have like buy-in from, you know... Can't put it in your bedroom. The family or Christy. Christy. Christy runs point on like the aesthetic of everything in the house. And this doesn't quite fit, you know. That's why my realm is the garage.

But I don't have any art hanging on the wall in the garage. There's no room for that. Yeah, there's like equipment. Cabinets and equipment. Toys. Yeah. Trash. You know, that reminds me,

something that I talked about with Jesse recently that I failed to talk about on the podcast, and this is something that I built up years ago, and you know about it. Yeah, that's right. I know what you're talking about. Because when you talk about something framed in the creative house.

The best gift you've ever gotten. I built up that Jesse had gotten me the best gift that I've ever gotten, and I recently had a discussion with her and with some friends who were looking at it, and I came to the conclusion that I did want to talk about it, but I do not want to show it. But I wanna talk about it. It's three years later.

It's two years later, really. Yeah, and I wanna make sure. Right? I mean, I think it's been three years. I don't know. I just want to make sure I'm getting- What are you doing? What are you Googling? Oh. I'm just making sure that I'm getting his information right. Okay.

So, what it was, was Jesse has a friend who used to run or be associated with an art gallery. And there was an artist, this pen and ink artist named Ronnie Ray,

I think Ronnie Ray Mendez, who is just a great pen and ink artist. And he had, I don't think he had done this particular thing before, but Jessie was talking to her friend and she was like, "'Ret really likes pen and ink And I've got this idea Where I want to like Give a pen and ink artist

Like information about Him and us you know as a couple And like can I like write like a Story about him Like his life and then have Somebody create like a pen And ink drawing That is representative of Rhett. And when I say pen and ink, you know how detailed it is,

but when I say pen and ink that's literally like four feet by three feet, I mean, the thing's this big. Yeah, it's huge. It's the width of the couch in your office. I mean, the way she got me with this is, she was like, it's gonna be your birthday present. Then it was like, it's gonna be your Christmas present. It kept getting pushed back because it was-

He was making it. It was so detailed. It was so detailed. And I don't know if he had done one this big before. And he's like so talented and so committed to like making it amazing that he just was like, I'm gonna work on this until it's done. And she was like, it's fine. So it was an autobiographical piece of art.

The reason I don't wanna talk about the specific, well, let me tell you the story of how she revealed it to me. She was like, I'm gonna give you this present, but we have to drive to this place in the valley. And like, we kind of drove to like some, like a weird part of the like western side of the the valley okay, and What in the hell is this gonna be and then all of a sudden like we what we pull up next to?

This car and there's a dude in the car You were like in a Walmart parking lot or something. It was like a parking lot in a strip mall. Oh and You were like in a Walmart parking lot or something? It was like a parking lot in a strip mall. Oh. But kind of in a weird strip mall that had weird stores. And we get out and she's like, it's in the back of this guy's SUV. And I'm like, is it a dog? You know, when somebody has got you the best gift they've ever gotten you and they're taking you into a parking lot,

and then you're just opening the back of this guy's car. It's probably illegal. And he's an interesting looking guy. You know, I was like, what does this guy have in his truck? And then she opens it up, and there's a sheet over something, and then he like takes the sheet off. And like, I had no idea. So all of a sudden I look at this thing, and I'm like sheet over something. And then he like takes the sheet off and like, I had no idea. So all of a sudden I look at this thing and I'm like,

holy shit, this is like this amazing drawing. Yeah. But then she was like, well, look closely at it. Then I started looking at it. I was like, oh shit, this is custom. And this is for me. And then she's like, then he hands me this, or no, she, I can't remember who had it this like

manila envelope that had the story in it which is like this is the information that she gave him to then have him create this artistic representation of my life and like our life together and so it's just it's so personal that i kind of want it to be something that it's just like you can come into the creative house and see it you can if you're my friend but i don't want to like want it to be something that is just like, you can come into the creative house and see it if you're my friend, but I don't want to like show it to the internet. But I wanted, I just felt bad because this guy, Ronnie Ray worked so,

Ronnie Ray Mendez worked so hard on it that, you know, I mean, I paid him for it, of course, but like I want to, he's so good at what he does. And he doesn't, this isn't the only thing he does. He does other stuff too, but. He worked on it for over a year, right? No, it wasn't a year, but it was months. It's not, it's not his full-time job. He has another job. I can't remember what it is, but so this is like a nights and weekends kind of thing. And you

can only spend so much time. It's super cool. Just sitting there and get like, when you look closely, you can, you can stand there. I've had friends stand there for 30 minutes looking at it. And then I'll be like, well, this means this, and this means this, and this I don't even really know. Maybe Jessie knows. Like when I was looking at it with Jessie a couple of weeks ago with some friends,

she was pointing out things that I was like, oh, I didn't realize what that was for. She remembers because she gave him all the prompts. It's kind of like a, it's a fantastical representation of your life that does require like, like kind of telling a story in your mind or like making connections between your life and this.

It's not, so it's a, it's pretty, it's like, it's very cool. And like the style is very intricate, but it also kind of shifts. There's like some very photorealistic parts and then there's like some super fantastical parts and it kind of all mixes together. Yeah, it's like a giant landscape.

When we've been brainstorming, like the last time we were brainstorming, we were in your office and I just found myself kind of staring at it because it can kind of send your mind in a bunch of different ways. It's like, oh, there's a nature part and then there's like a car you used to drive in it.

It wasn't even a car that I drove. It was a car I wanted. That's right. Yeah. Okay, I'm not going to give any more details away, but it definitely blew me away. That's probably, I mean, that's an heirloom. That's like, that's a hell of a gift.

It is the best gift I've ever gotten. And, of course, I haven't seen the vision board that Jenna made for me. Right, right, right, of course. But that's not a gift. Right, right, right, of course. But that's not a gift because I commissioned it as a, you did it in working hours. Well, yeah.

Maybe you didn't, okay. All right, I'll take it as a gift. You might have to take some time off. I had a lot to do. I had a lot to do last night. Yeah, you got a lot to do, so. I had a lot to do. In other words, I need to love it.

Because part of this is a gift. You don't need to love it. I need to love it. I really put this is a gift. You don't need to love it. I need to love it. I really put the pressure on. But you can't tell me that you want me to do something and then me not go and do it, even if you're joking or not. That's true.

I'm excited. Okay, before we talk about, before we dig into our Uber ratings. So we get to see our Uber ratings. Oh God. Okay. Okay. This is pretty exciting.

This is a long time coming in celebration of the five-year anniversary of the Mythical Society. Of course, that is our exclusive fan club where you can pay at different levels to receive things that are worth what you're paying for. There's also an initiate level that is start raving free, and you can just check out everything we have over there. Five years of accumulated exclusive content growing every week. We have now gamified the Mythical Society app, right? So there's the app where you can enjoy everything from the society, but now you can play along every day with Good Mythical Morning, even as an initiate.

You can have the free initiate level. Now, what does that mean to play along? Sometimes we play games and you can't play along because you get a different experience comedically by knowing the answers. So we're not talking about that as much as... There's some ways that our competition can relate to your competition,

but then there's other forms of knowledge. You'll have to play it to see. It's trivia-based. It's trivia-based. It's called Think It and Sink It. Get it? And you can accumulate a score. We almost called it Think Make Me Horny.

Yeah, we didn't call it that. It was a close second. So you want to play over the course of the season, and then we're going to be recognizing there will be special prizes at the end of this next season of Good Mythical Morning for those who have accumulated right answers. So that's pretty cool. Pretty excited about that.

We give out exclusive quarterly collectible items, like physical collectible items, every quarter over the past five years. And they're only available to third-degree members who are members at the time, with some stipulations. Always valuable, super collectible, and then they're gone. But if there's some that in the past you wish you could have gotten, now is the time to get those while supplies last.

We have like a little additional inventory of some of these things, like whether it's one of the exclusive albums we released or the comic book series that we've released three editions of that. additions to that, you know, if you want to get all those. Or if you want, like, the blanket or the hoodie blanket thing, like all the super cozy stuff we release exclusively. Like, any new purchase, upgrade, renewal, or gift, any way that you can get a third-degree annual plan through January 20th. I said January. I meant February. Through February 29th,

if you sign up for any... I'm not doing a good job of saying this. That's why we wrote it down. And I should just read it. If you get a third-degree annual plan in any form, including a gift card, through February 29th,

you will have the choice of any of the past quarterly items we've ever produced while supplies last, first come, first served. So go to mythicalsociety.com for all that stuff. With Uber Reserve, good things come to those who plan ahead. Family vacay? Reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights. To all the planners, now you can reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See Uber app for details. Okay, Link.

It's a lot of fun over there. So, Jamie found this TikTok that was going around, and basically it's this woman who is saying, I don't know if it's always been there or if they just recently made this available. I don't know either. But I know for the longest time you couldn't see, I thought the impression was you couldn't see your rating.

Like you knew your driver's rating, but you didn't know your rating. And I always wondered like- Cause drivers can rate you. They do rate you every time. Oh. And I was kind of thinking, oh, they don't rate me. So I'm gonna show you how to get to the ratings

and I will show you as you are listening or watching. So you can look at your ratings too if you use Uber. And I'm interested to see, I had some things that I was a little bit worried about. Yeah, I'm worried about some things. So I'm interested how our ratings compare. Okay, yeah. And then why. Well, you know I just recently went on an Uber

against my will. That was my fault. Why don't you tell them, Rhett, what you did? So Link and I typically do not carpool, unless we're recording an episode of Car Biscuits for the Mythical Society. Right. But we live relatively close to each other

and we work very close to each other. So sometimes it does make sense. You texted me as I was about to leave one morning and you said, hey, can you give me a ride? I was like, sure, bud. I didn't call you bud. I've never called you bud seriously, but you know, something like that.

I'd like for you to do that. And I picked you up and I brought you in. And of course, the understanding was- I felt so seen at that moment. The understanding was that I would also take you home. Yeah, I didn't wanna, I forgot about it. I didn't feel like- I don't always take you home like I needed to establish that.

But it's like, yeah. I actually said in the text, what are you doing at the end of the day? Can you give me a ride in and bring me back home? Oh, you did ask for, you covered both. I did say that, because I didn't want to ask for a ride in and then be stranded.

Listen, I have no defense here. 100% my fault. I came in here to record an episode of Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with my dad, and boy, we got on a roll. Yep. You know, when I start talking to my dad, boy, we get on a roll sometimes. Uh-huh. And I was, you know, had that wonderful time with him,

and I step out of the booth, and I go right into our office, right here, right behind us. So close. Share a wall. It's the type of thing that if you decide, you know what, I'm going to leave, I'm just going to leave work, you might be reminded because the next door you see is the one that the friend that you brought to work is behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still working.

I knew you were still in there. I just forgot I brought you to work. I opened the door. Going out into the parking lot and not seeing your car did not, no bells went off. It didn't, did it? Well, a big bell went off when I went into the pitch black office of ours. Like, there's not a light on, there's not a soul, there's not a trace. Oh, come on. I didn't turn the lights off. There's not a trace.

I didn't shut down. Of humanity. I'm not a light turner offer. That's you, man. I mean, I should be more responsible It was desolate in there. And it's just, my heart just sunk, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm stranded. What am I gonna do? And interestingly, this is actually kind of a,

I feel like this is more of an offense for me to do it to you than for you to do it to me, because you really hate Ubers. You really hate having people take you anywhere. You don't even like, just to be honest with you, anytime we have to go to the west side, if I don't say anything, I know you're gonna be like, I'll drive. And I'm always like, he's got some reason that he wants to drive. It's probably, I'm not even gonna ask, but I don't mind not driving.

It's a win-win. So I'm like, you don't like to be driven anywhere. Okay, you're bringing up a couple of things here. You're highlighting why I'm so nervous about the fact that now I'm about to see my Uber review. I'm a little nervous because I thought I just had immunity and also knew that I was always upset when I'm in an Uber. And I got to tell you what happened with the Uber

that you stuck me in too. But before I get to that, I just as a side note want to say. Okay. That yeah, whenever we have to drive to the west side, I like to be the one to drive because I like driving. You know, I enjoy it. I like getting places fast. I thought it was because you were less,

you were more likely to get sick if you were riding. I'm also more likely to get sick. Because we have to go over the hills and stuff. Especially when, if I'm in the passenger seat, I can't be on my phone. And like if we get in a conversation about something, it usually requires some form of like phone work. Like, and then people are communicating with us.

It's during a work day. There's like work is happening and we're being slacked and stuff. And I'll get sick of them on my phone. So I can serve the duo better by being the driver. And then you can be on your phone and you can actually do things. You also like to type.

I don't like to type. I like to drive, I don't like to type. And I can't do it in a car anyway. So this is a win-win. I'm not complaining about it. Yep, because don't like to type. And I can't do it in a car anyway. So this is a win-win. I'm not complaining about it. Yep. Because my driving is not bad. I mean, Stevie is scared of me driving for some reason.

I know it's because I've almost hit pedestrians. I'm a little bit scared of how you're driving. But, like, we get there. And I think I get there pretty fast. You haven't actually hit any pedestrians. I have not. You've only almost hit pedestrians. Right, right, right.

There's a big difference. Like, there's a, like, you know, if you actually hit somebody pedestrians. I have not. You've only almost hit pedestrians. Right, right, right. There's a big difference. Like, there's a, like, you know, if you actually hit somebody, we got a problem. If you almost hit somebody, it's sort of like, it's almost like you didn't hit them at all. Exactly. In fact, it's the same. Yeah, missing a pedestrian is not ever hitting a pedestrian. Right, it's like they weren't even there. Right, so I've missed a lot of pedestrians.

Almost counts. All of them. Almost counts in horseshoes and hitting pedestrians? I don't know. I'm trying to... Almost doesn't count in horseshoes, but it does count in hitting pedestrians. Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

It does count. It does count with pedestrians. And it does count with pedestrians. No, it doesn't. If you nearly miss a pedestrian, you have not hit the pedestrian, so it doesn't count. Just one little thing.

First of all, I already did apologize to you in real life. Sorry for leaving you. I feel like I deserved it. I will say... From the Emmys thing. I will say, it was the day of the NCAA football championship game, which starts at 4th, freaking 30,

on the West Coast. And so, once the end of the day started rolling around, I was like, and Locke was still in town, I was like, oh,

I've got to watch this game with my son. So I left work early, and I mean, you conveniently forgot about it. remembering your friend or watching football with your son,

I'm sorry, I had to get my priorities straight. I gave you a hard time over text. I was like, it's not a big deal. I mean, I could have gotten a ride with somebody here, but I, you know, I had already asked Jenna to make a vision board. I didn't want to ask her to take me home.

I did offer. I was like, do you need a ride? I was like, I'll just Uber. It's fine. That's what Uber's for. And I was like, well, I'm going to get the comfort. It's a little few more dollars, but I want to be comfortable. A little few more.

And I get in the back of this Uber, and homeboy had been smoking cigarettes. Van Diagram. Uber driver and smoker. They just don't. More likely than usual. And you know what? It wasn't. I get just like an immediate headache with some cigarette smoke.

I'm just like, it's the worst for me. It triggers a headache 110% of the time. And, you know, just because you get out of your car and you smoke your cigarette doesn't mean that when you get back in your car, I can't smell it. There's something about, it's on on you it's on your person it's still coming out of your person somehow man and so here i am like rolling the window down okay i rolled the window and i felt bad about rolling the window how cold of a day was that it was it was pretty cold chilly okay all right you're writing i'm rolling the window down and I feel like I'm sending him a message

that I'd rather not be like, hey, something around here stinks, and I think it's you, so I'm rolling the window down. I didn't like that, but I- What was the look on your face, and did he have sunglasses on, and could you see him looking in the rear view mirror? I wasn't looking at him.

I was kind of looking down. I rolled the window down, I kind of stuck my nose out. I needed like golden retriever. You headed out? A little bit. The funny thing is, I did it, the place where I did it is right before we get on the interstate here in Burbank, and when I rolled the window down... Oh no, you did it during, next to the plant with the natural gas that comes out of it?

Yeah, there is a place in Burbank... I call it the fart bridge. When you cross the bridge... It's the fart bridge. You cross the bridge that goes over the five on Burbank Boulevard... It's the fart bridge. You cross the bridge that goes over the five on Burbank Boulevard. It's a fart bridge. In Burbank. It stinks. You will, if you haven't crossed it before, every single time,

you will assume that someone, maybe you, farted. And that's what my Uber driver thought I did because I rolled the window down. So it's like I roll the window down. He smells a stink. Oh, it's like this dude farted in the back of my car. Oh, shit. And so like, here I am thinking about how bad he stinks, he's thinking about how bad I stink! But you did at least roll the window down.

And then I'm driving, and we get... You're driving? Oh, this gets interesting. I'm riding, and we get... he doesn't know how to drive into traffic, and I'm like, man, if I was driving, I'd be way over here. I'd be cutting people off. It's taking twice as long to get home, and I'm smelling this stuff. He didn't carpool lane. He didn't carpool lane, and he's not aggressive. And, I mean, it was good that he wasn't talking to me.

I did like that. There were no words exchanged, except just the insinuation of what the window rolling down meant. By the time we get close to the house, I look up, and here we are going the wrong direction. He is taking a wrong turn. And at this point, I decide, I'm going to let him have it in the review.

I've never done this, but here I am angry, and my head hurts, and it's really I'm mad at Rhett, and I need to take it out on somebody. And I get home, and I tell Christy about it. I'm like, I'm thinking about writing a review. She was like, well head hurts, and it's really I'm mad at Rhett and I need to take it out on somebody. And I get home and I tell Christy about it. I'm like, I'm thinking about writing a review. She was like, well, that's what it's for. Write it. And the way that they, once you start writing, like, I put two stars. No, I put one star.

Ooh! And then I was like, you know what? I feel this isn't that bad. I'm going to put two stars. And then I'm going to like, well, it's not like he's reviewing me. I got to isn't that bad. I'm gonna put two stars. And then I'm gonna like, well, it's not like he's reviewing me. I gotta stick to my guns. Well, first of all, I don't know if, well, A, he is reviewing you, but B, I don't know. There's no way he can see my review before I see his. There's no way the system is based on him looking at what he gave you. Yeah, reviews have to be

closed to both sides before they're both. Gotta be blind. That's how Airbnb works. Double blind reviews. Airbnb, you don't see the review about you, which you do see easily on Airbnb once you submit the review about the other person. And maybe you only see aggregate. I don't know. I decided Airbnb, you see the actual review. Oh, I know for that, yeah.

I stuck with my guns. I put one star. And then it's like, okay, why? And you have to choose from the things. And was it like. That's pretty harsh, bro. Was it like. And there were certain things in there.

And one of them was wrong turn. I was like, well, wrong turn. It was a big wrong turn. It's one of those when you go the wrong way on the freeway. And then you're like. Well, this is a two star wrong turn. Like, do you took two stars off of the wrong turn? How do we get from five to one? That's what I trying to figure emotionally honestly so i clicked wrong turn and then it was like okay anything else anything and i didn't see

anything else but then it said other and i'm like yeah well this the cigarette smell is something people should know so i put other and then it brought up a whole other thing and one of them was smell smell yeah and so i clicked, and I felt bad about that. Were there smell options? There wasn't smell options. It was just smell. And then I wrote. Because it could be a good smell.

I wrote cigarette smell. Cigarette smoke. That's what I wrote in the write-in. Okay. All right. And I did not put a tip. I usually tip. Even if it's three days later and I'm opening the app a month later, I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot to tip. And then I'll tip. I do always tip.

You really let this guy have it. And I, it's your fault. And then I submitted it and I felt good about it. And now, oh man, this road goes both ways. So I'm going to show you how to do this. Do you think I was wrong, first of all? Do you think I was too harsh? I mean, it was three strikes, you're out. That would've been...

Well, maybe I was a little harsh. I don't know. One star feels pretty hard. Pretty harsh. You know, I think he'll be okay. He'll probably be okay. You're not gonna derail his career because of this. The thing is is that... Here's what I will say. He had a billboard on top of his car. It was a LED screen turned sideways

like he was a pizza delivery guy, but the LED billboard on his car was promoting Uber. Oh. And I'm like, oh, I got me a professional Uber. I got like, whoo, this guy has really got it going on. Yeah, so he'll be fine. So my expectations were higher. But here's the other thing. It's like he was related to Uber.

I have to assume I pretty much have only ever given five stars, right? Even if it's like, I mean, I kind of do the same thing with, you know, servers and restaurants. It's like unless you do something like, I kind of do the same thing with, you know, servers and restaurants. It's like, unless you do something like, I'm like 20% is my baseline, right? And then if you do, if like, you said you were a fan, I'd definitely go up significantly. If you did a great job, I'd go up significantly.

But like, it's only, you have to have done something rude that was your fault as a server, you offended me or something, which I don't know if it's ever happened, right? When it comes to the Uber thing, I have given some marks off if it's like, if the cigarette smell was overwhelming. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

But I don't think I went to one star. I was just like, all right, I'm gonna give a little feedback here. I think I went a little hard. You gotta think about that. But you also got the wrong like, all right, I'm going to give a little feedback here. I think I went a little hard. You got to think about that. But you also got the wrong turn, so it was a double whammy. But I think people probably are like, most of the time it's five stars, but then if I'm upset, one star.

So it probably goes, for drivers, there's probably a lot of fives and ones. So maybe it's fine. But let's look at our own, okay? Okay. And correct me if I'm wrong, if y'all know about this. I think that if you cancel a ride, then they can give you a rating and they'll give you a bad rating.

And I gotta say, there's been multiple times where there's been a canceled ride because of where I live and how it'd be like, this dude's not moving. I don't know if it's service. So you're getting nervous too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've already looked at mine.

Oh, so you're explaining. Okay, so open up your Uber app. And do they use this as a way to decide if they're gonna take your request? Probably. I don't know. Call in if you're an Uber driver. Tell us how you feel about what Link did. One. And also answer

any of the questions that we have. The number is 1-888- EarPod One. So go to the lower right hand corner, click on account. Account, okay. Now go to settings, the bottom part of the screen there. Settings, they've hidden it under settings, okay. Then click on privacy.

Privacy, really? And then it says your data and privacy at Uber. And then there's this little icon and it says, would you like to see a summary of how you use Uber? And then click on see summary. I don't want to look at mine yet. Okay. Explore your data, how to use this tool. Commitment to private stress is important. So then scroll down to ratings. Well, first of all, thank you for being with us for, how many days have you been with Uber? 3,729.

3,728. Oh, I signed up the day before you. You're an early adopter. Everything we do in life is kind of on pace. One day of each other. I've taken 179 trips. I've taken 224, which I don't think is a lot of trips. How many trips have y'all taken if y'all are in this? 509.

509? Mine is around 190-something. Okay. Not the same as me. Okay. Jamie, you're taking a lot more. Yeah. A lot of people take Lyft more.

Okay. I use Lyft. It depends on if there's a deal. I scroll back and forth. I got kicked out of Lyft, and I don't know why. Oh, no. I want to look at your data first. Okay.

Show me what you got. So if you're following along, you're going to scroll down to ratings, your data first. Okay. So show me what you got. So if you're following along, you're going to scroll down to ratings and then you're going to click on view my ratings. They buried this. And this takes a while. The first time it took to generate this, it like thought a lot. Now I can just go back and see it. Okay. Well, I'm going to go ahead and click mine just so it's going. Because it's going to ask you another question. And ask you if you're sure or something, and then it starts. Okay. All right.

So my aggregate rating is 4.73. That's good. Which if I saw a 4.73 on a driver, I'd be like, okay. But I like to see 4.95. I like to see 4.9 something. Well, you're above four. It's only out of five, right? I'm just saying, I don't know.

I think that might be a little bit low. No. So 160, we're going to compare. We've got all four of us here. So 165, five stars. 13, four stars. Now, those are, I'm most curious about those 13, four stars. Like, what did I do?

What do you do as a rider? I don't do anything. I'm so quiet. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe I don't talk. Maybe I don't answer the questions. I think you're making. I do answer some.

I think you're making them wait. You have to walk down that long driveway. Yeah. I think you're late. Six three stars. six two stars, and two one star. All right, the one star is just you, they were about to be at your place and you-

I've done that. You cut them off. Yeah, yeah. You sent them packing. Well, there's been a couple of times from my home where I've had to call an Uber and a Lyft. At the same time, I'm like, whoever gets here first gets the ride

because it can be so crazy at certain times. And now once I get the other ride, I cancel the other one. But I shouldn't do that. But Stevie told me this and it's true. Things have changed, man. Five years ago, it would be like finding your Uber. Your Uber is five minutes away.

And five minutes later, they would be at your house. Now it says, we're looking for your driver. It waits. And then it says nine minutes. And a lot of people in my neighborhood, a lot of drivers in my neighborhood who live in my neighborhood, they just got, here's my theory.

Maybe I'm wrong. They're parked at their house. They have their app on. Oh, they're on the toilet. They're watching a game. They're doing whatever they want to They have their app on. Oh, they're on the toilet. They're watching a game. They're doing whatever they want to do, and then they see, oh, somebody needs a ride. Okay, yes.

And then they do something else, like eat a sandwich. I don't know what happens, but they don't get in my house in nine minutes. Try to find matching socks. And I'm just saying, it's changed a little bit. So my approach to the game has changed. But anyway, so I'm at a 4.73. That's still pretty good, dude.

That's a, so you do a grab bag approach and you'll, so you'll make them race to your door. An Uber and a Lyft. I may have done that three times in my life. I'm just saying that it's, under certain circumstances, I've had to do it. Please note, ratings are optional. Not everyone will give you a rating.

Writer ratings. 4.76. Oh, dang, Link. I'm six tenths. No, three one hundredths higher. You're three one hundredths higher. Three one hundredths higher. Yeah, that's what it is.

137, five star. Four, four star. Four, three star. 4, 4 star. 4, 3 star. 0, 2 stars. And 6, 1 star. Whoa, whoa, okay! This is the crazy thing. Why do I have so many 4 stars? I don't have... You got 6 1 stars? How did this happen? I'm heavy on the 1 star. 6, 1 star, and then 4, 4, and 4, 3. I've got quite a spread. 6, two stars. You got zero two stars.

What's happening here? I will say that when I called the Uber from here when you left me, you remember that when you forgot I existed and how much you cared about me and I had to find my way home, so I called an Uber? Well, I found the Uber, and then it was like, I opened my screen to see how far the Uber was away, and at first it was like seven minutes away. And then when it was four minutes, I opened my screen to see how far the Uber was away. And at first it was like, you know, seven minutes away. And then when it was four minutes, I opened up the thing and I was like, oh, four minutes.

And my thumb clicked something. And the next thing I knew, I had no ride. And I think I clicked cancel. And I think I've done that a lot. I think I've done that at least six times apparently like just being an old man pushing like instinctively pushing the biggest button for no reason

so I've canceled on accident but I feel good about this wow I can now I can really move forward wreaking some havoc 4.76 Jenna you got to go next because Jamie you've got the biggest data pool. Yeah.

My score is 4.86. Dang! She's the winner. I am a delight. But I will say I have four one stars. Whoa. I have four one stars. Whoa.

Four one stars, two two stars, one three star, three four stars, and 188 five stars. That's nice. Dang. Okay. You know the thing I'm realizing? Lincoln has my Uber account. Oh, you know what? Oh.

This is Lincoln. This isn't even me. Why does he have his own Uber account? I don't know. Because, I don't know. We just never... I just said, if you ever need an Uber when you're at college, you know, use the Uber. But he should have his own account. He probably has his own now.

Because you would see it happening a lot. I do see it. You would see the rides. I'll get emails and I see his rides and stuff. And then I tip his driver. Because it's my account. He's making me tip his... He's got it made, doesn't he?

And he's getting me these one-star reviews. Or he's probably the four and three star. I will say, I book rides for you all via my account. We're great. From time to time. Yeah, I can't blame the one stars on you. I'm pretty sure that's on me at some point. I don't know.

It might be me. Drunk Jenna is a delight. Oh, damn. But maybe a mess. Oh, gosh. You mean a mess? I've never made a mess. I've never in an Uber.

But I've certainly been with my friends and called Uber places and been in the Uber with them and been like, Oh, my God. please, please, please. I'm going to get such a bad score. Get us out of here. Definitely been there. When you start to factor in vomiting in somebody's car and the worst that can be is a one star, I feel a little bad about giving my boy a one star,

taking me home just for a wrong turn and some cigarette smell. I mean, he didn't vomit on me. Yeah, yeah. You can look through your past rides one star taking me home just for a wrong turn and some cigarette smell. I mean, he didn't vomit on me. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. You can look through your past rides, and I basically have given everybody five stars, but then, like, every, like, tenth ride, it says canceled because it's like I've shot

myself in the foot here. Okay, Jamie. Okay. So, I do have a way bigger pool here, my overall is 4.89 that's nice you're the winner but I have so I have like five stars 417 rides I have 10 four stars six three stars three two stars and four one stars and I mean you got only four one stars with that big of a pool yeah but I'm still like in I have this this story from back like when Uber barely started. And I had an Uber driver ask me, why is your Uber rating so low?

And I was like, what do you mean, sir? I was like, I am delightful. You knew from the beginning. And no, he was just like, yeah, you have like a three point something. So I have definitely brought this up. But I was like trying to think. You're like hawking good reviews you're like and give me five stars when you're getting out of the car you're trying you were trying to like boost your score no I was just like when that happened I was like what do you mean he's like yeah you seem cool

to me and I was like I feel like that is accurate so what did you change because you're like you're getting out of the car and you're like, let's just recap the fun we had together. I feel like we had some five star fun. It might be the questionnaire

that I have printed out in my purse, but. Right, that'll do it every time. You give them a little candy. I agree though on the, I'm here,

I'm like, why did I only get the three stars of the ones? Why am I just at a mid? What did I do to be mid? Not even the four, the three stars are the ones that Why am I just at a mid? What did I do to be mid? Not even the four. The three stars are the ones that I'm like, I don't understand. I mean, being quiet is not something to get dinged for.

Shouldn't be. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the things that I've done. I mean, I've got the lowest score here. I feel like I've got to make a change. Being terse could be, if you're not friendly in your conversation, I guess a driver could ding you for that. I'm just trying to think, like maybe you smell. Not you, I mean us collectively.

I smell sometimes. One could smell. Usually not when I'm out. Or if you're like- I smell at home. If you're talking on your phone really loudly, like... I don't do that. But I think that's worthy of a... That's just inconsistent.

I definitely do not endear myself to the driver. No, I don't do that. Now, if my wife is present, she will. She'll know the life story of whoever is driving. And maybe they would get a low score for that. She would get a low score if they didn't want to call. Usually not. I don't think so.

I think they seem to be participating pretty strongly. I think if you just give them a little friendly hello and a friendly goodbye and a thank you and nothing in between, I think that's a good bookend. I think that's a good practice. Now, if the Uber starts asking me stuff, like I don't say, sometimes I'll put no conversation because they, when you call the Uber, they ask for your preferences. I love that. I never get the preference. I put, I'm gonna start putting the no, I'm gonna put the no conversation because that way it's like, hey, this is just, this is just how we're riding today. Maybe that will increase your rating on average because there's no expectation set. I mean, I, in the absence of doing that, I have been

sparked up with an Uber. And what I meant by that is sparking conversation. I realize it sounded like I was smoking the cigarette. I sparked up with some of them. Sparking conversation. Like, they would try to get me talking. I'd be like, what do you do for a living? You know, that's the time I bold-faced lied to my Uber.

You said corporate video. I said, yeah. It's not a lie. It's true. I work in corporate video. You do. Because Google is a corporation. Well, so is Mythical.

That's true. Okay, well, I feel a little bit bad here. We're doing good, guys. We're doing good. I mean, those sound, the 4.8, 4.9, if I see a driver that has my rating, like a 4.73, I'm like, this guy has made some mistakes. Honestly, that's what I think. You rarely see a driver less than 4.6.

But you can't elect. I'm kind of at the bottom of the barrel at this point. What do you do when you see that? You don't cancel because that's going to give you a one star. It just raises the hair on my back a little bit. Yeah. You know, I'm like, okay, I gotta be real clear here. I'm gonna blame this on my neighborhood.

That's what I'm blaming it on. They get lost coming up to my house, they lose service. I have to give them directions to get back to the highway. Yeah, but that's not their fault. There's things like that that happen. But when you're- And I think they're taking it out on me. When you're calling an Uber,

I mean, can you choose between different people? I'm seeing if you can see their rating on the app before you choose which one you want. I don't think you can. I don't think you can. I mean, that just wouldn't be. I think the rating is mostly for the Uber people. I'm clicking on a car.

To be like, once your rating gets below a certain amount, you can't drive anymore. You're going to probation or something. Okay, so yeah, so it's a little disconnected, the rating.

So I've got a little something to work on. We'll check, you know what? We'll check again next year. Like our credit scores. See if I can beat you. Okay. We interrupt your podcast to bring you breaking news. Like our credit scores. Okay. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand.

It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six Ikea 365 plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because Ikea is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at Ikea today. I like how you make the Uber and the Lyft race to your house. I do that with napping. I've started doing this new type of napping where like I'll drink a coffee and then I'll be laying there and I'll see if I can beat the coffee to nap time because if the coffee kicks in, I'll wake up. So I gotta fall asleep before the coffee makes me wake up.

And it's kind of like a, I picture it as like a race in my head. It's like my napping metabolism being attacked by the coffee I just drank. It sounds like such a relaxing thought exercise to make one fall asleep. I mean. There's a race going on in my head. I'm about to dream. I've got to hurry up and nap before I wake up. I think you do have like 30 minutes or so.

And then when you do wake up, it helps you wake up from the nap at like more invigorated if you take a caffeine nap, caffeine power nap. But I like the race of it all. It's the thrill for me. I think I gotta stop the racing technique though. I wanna be clear, I've only done it a few times. And my understanding is that the driver

still gets paid a certain amount. They don't get paid for the drive, but they get paid for the cancellation if they did any driving. If you care about your rating, then you gotta work on it, but you got some leeway. I wanna share with you something that, finally get to share.

I think we should save it. I really wanna hear my, I wanna see my vision board. We're gonna see both. I just don't think we have time for you. I'm not pushing this for time. I don't have, I don't think we have time. If we're pushing anything, it's the vision board. Come on.

So I was watching something with- This, by the way, shouldn't take a lot of time. Jesse, exactly. I was watching something with- This, by the way, shouldn't take a lot of time. Jesse, exactly. I was watching something with Jesse, and I don't even know how I came upon this. We were watching YouTube videos together while working out. And there was something where there was this guy who's like the world record holder for speed reading.

And I don't know if you have seen these videos. Like there are some videos that are like. Of someone speed reading? No. No. There's like, there's a TikTok video going around of this guy who's like taking a book and like flipping through it in front of these judges or something. And it's obviously fake. He's not, there's no person that could do that.

But this is a guy who is like definitive, like Guinness World Records recognized. And like, they're saying like, oh, what is he doing? And it was just, I wasn't thinking, oh, I'm gonna watch this so I can learn how to speed read. I was like, oh, this is interesting, so I'm gonna keep watching it. And then by the end of it, the way that the guy explained it,

I was like, okay, well, maybe I'll try this. So basically what he did is he said- You watched the world's best do something, you were like, I can do that. No, because of the way he talked about it. Okay. Because I've always just thought, well, I've always thought, hey, it's bullshit.

I was like, these people aren't actually reading. That's what I thought. I thought they were faking it, right? I didn't think they were faking it. But, or they're like not really getting the information. Yeah. And then what he said was, he was like, well, what I'm doing is I figured out

that typically when you read something, if you're normal like me, and I think I'm actually a below average speed reader is my theory. You kind of read something and it's almost like there's a voice in your head that's saying the words out loud, more or less. You're like reading it and there's like,

narrator. So it's kind of going at the speed of speech. And he's like, that slows you down so much. And what you'll find is if you just take your finger and you just kind of run it across the line and you convince your brain to stop having to insist that you say it inside your brain, and you just realize that you're just taking in the information,

you'll get to a place where you are taking in the information conceptually. And if you stopped and thought about it, you would realize that you actually did in the information conceptually, and if you stopped and thought about it, you would realize that you actually did get the information. And so I was like, well, let me try that. And so this is the thing that happens to me. I think I'm such a slow reader because I'm a very easily distracted reader. I read a lot, but what happens is,

if I get down into my bed and I start reading, I like make it literally sometimes like a page and a half and then I might fall asleep. That's good. Right? And so I'm like, I can't, I'm not getting anything done. And also sometimes I'll start reading and I realize that it's like that when you find yourself driving and you're like, I think I've just driven for five minutes and don't know. Yeah.

I don't remember any of that. Yeah, you have to go back. You do the same thing with, I do the same thing with reading quite a bit. And so what I found is I'm trying this new technique, not because I'm trying to get through a bunch of things faster, but because I'm so slow because I'm so distracted that I found that by doing this technique. Not because I'm trying to get through a bunch of things faster, but because I'm so slow because I'm so distracted that I found that by doing this technique, and I'm not actually doing my finger every time, now I'm just kinda looking at it, it makes me focus more on reading, and that's the reason I ended up getting more, I'm less likely to fall asleep while reading because I'm trying to do this technique.

And you're not gonna be tested on it except for now. Okay. Because, you know, I'm like, I'm gonna get a book. I'm like looking around our office for a book. We have a bunch of decorative books. I was like, I'm gonna get one of those. And then I realized I have got a fun book. We were given Dr. Emily Morse's Smart Sex,

which I, how to boost your sex IQ and own your pleasure. So from like sex timber last year, she came on the show. Yep. And well, it was that year before last. Anyway, I think this is out now, but we have an uncorrected proof. So there might, you might get. I'll spot all of them, all the uncorrections.

So I just think you need to speed read. Can I set the bar for you real quick? I wanna see how well you get it. You're not gonna hand me the book and give me four seconds and then I'll give it back to you. I have to look at all of the words. I'm just not gonna read the words out loud in my mind. So I'm gonna go faster than normal for me. Well, it's just a page and a half and it's in a box, so it's actually less.

So I would like for you to speed read the section on penis popping. Okay. Okay, I'm not gonna look yet. It's on the right side. Do you wanna read it normal and time yourself? I've already read it. Okay, I just don't know,

I don't think this is gonna be impressive. But I'm gonna go fast, I'm gonna go as fast as I can. It's a page and a half, so how much time do you need? I don't know, I've never timed myself. You gotta go quick, man. I'm probably gonna give you 15 seconds. Can you not say distracting things while I'm doing it? I'm not gonna, yeah, this is not for comedy. Can you not say distracting things while I'm doing it? Yeah, I'm not gonna...

Yeah, this is not for comedy. Can you make a low humming noise, just like a drone noise, just to let people know that the podcast is still on? Like you want me to make a gray noise? Yeah, make white. Well, you're a white boy. Make white noise.

But don't change tones. Could it be more of a hiss? Like a... Yeah, just see it. It's a little wet. I want to make it drier. Yeah, make a drier noise. And here we go. All right, that's 15 seconds.

You're done. Turn. No, no, I'm reading the whole thing. You need... I could have read the whole thing just normal, I think. No, I couldn't have. I think that's over twice as fast. Now you're really hurting me because you're talking.

Just get what you got from the first page. Okay, all right. So I was doing great until the second half when you started interrupting me and talking. Okay. But I want you to understand, I just read five paragraphs, and I don't know how long that was,

but that was way faster than I typically would read, and I was just looking at the words and then letting them register in my brain. I can safely say that I would have read it at 25% speed of what you did. Okay. I am a slow reader, except when it's horny stuff, I guess. I don't know what I'd be at. So can I give you a summary, or are you going to ask me questions? No, give me a summary of penis popping.

Okay, well, basically, the idea behind this is that sex is messy, right? So there are lots of things that can happen during sex, like vagina farts is one of the things that can happen during sex. So there's, you know, the expectation that you're going to have every hair in place and everything is going to be perfect when you're having sex is an unrealistic expectation. The word vagina farts is in here. And one of the things. Not queef.

And one of the things that can happen is penis popping, which is when the penis slips out of the hole that it's in. The vagina in this case, I think in this particular example, during sex. Now, at this point, I'm simultaneously relieved and disappointed because when I first picked this, I was like, oh my gosh, this is going to be about my worst nightmare. Breaking the penis? Like when it's like, because there's different chambers in a wiener. You don't want to break your penis.

And then if one of those pops like a balloon, that's disturbing. Can I go on and tell you the rest of it? But you are correct in saying that that is not what penis popping is. So right off the bat, you're not making this up. Because my first test was, is he just gonna make up what he thinks penis popping is? When you said penis popping,

I thought you were talking about when it breaks. Yeah, so. It makes penis popping is. When you said penis popping, I thought you were talking about when it breaks. Yeah. It makes a popping noise. You circumvented the misdirect. Continue. And basically, this is all a function of the angle of entry, right? It's something that happens.

It's a combination of the angle of entry and something else. I can't remember the position, I think. And so you can experiment with, if this is something that happens on a regular basis, you can experiment with cowgirl or reverse cowgirl that can change the positions. And then some people actually just want to move

to something simpler, like missionary, which could be a good... So basically, you need to experiment. You don't need to feel ashamed. These are things that happen, but you need to find your own mojo. It's also a good reason to what? Call your mom?

What? Yeah. I haven't called my mom in a while. It's like, I'm waiting for my penis to pop out. I don't understand the question. Potential penis slippage is also a good reason to not call your mom. Penis slippage is also a good reason to, I don't know, I missed that. Slow things down.

Oh, slow things down. Slow things down, Rhett. Let me go backwards here. That was in the second half. That's why you were talking. I was listening to you and reading at the same time. What type of penises will become more comic than tragic if you embrace awkward moments?

Popped penises. No. Disobedient penises. Okay. Okay. And so you're not really getting good with the details. Was I in the last paragraph on that page? That was in the intro paragraph.

Yeah. I mean, you end up missing some stuff. And also, I mean, I just don't remember everything. If it happens to you, who cares? That's the question. Nobody. Exactly. You got that right.

Your mom. Your mom. You can make light of Exactly. You got that right. Your mom. Your mom. You can make light of it. You can laugh together. Or you can do what? Try a new position. Or just what? Go with the flow.

Add some. Music. Lube. Lube. And get that. Penis back in there. Yep. That was it.

Get that penis back in there. That, that was it. Get that penis back in there. That was a, you got that part. Keep in mind that a slow. Insertion. Grind. Grind. Swivel or what motion is likely to cause more popping than moving up and down?

Lateral thrusting. Back and forth motion. I don't even know who's right anymore. Okay. You've done it. Okay. So let me tell you what I did. I applied this.

Pretty good. Over the holidays, I was reading a book. I think it's called The Tiger or something. And it's a, I don't know. I was told by somebody on TikTok, I'm on like book talk, you know, and like listening to people talk about things and somebody was talking about this being like a page turner.

And I was like, okay. And I got into it and it was a book about these dudes in the, like, easternmost part of Russia, which is like a really desolate jungle region where there's, like, the Siberian tiger, the Asiatic tiger. Okay.

And they're, like, basically tracking a tiger that had killed some people, and it's based on a true story. But it's a historical, it's a retelling of the story with some imagined, I don't know what you call that genre where you're telling a story that actually happened, but it's a little fictionalized.

It's not historical fiction, because it's more, it's a documentary of it. But- Embellished tale of reality. This dude would go into deep, deep, like history and information about the region and about all this stuff. And I was kind of like, this is hard, man.

This is hard to get through, but I just feel like I'm so bad. And I started the book in end of 2023, and it was coming into 2024, I was like, I wanna finish this damn book. I don't wanna just stop another book. Yeah. And this technique came along. Oh, penis popping.

And yeah, penis popped my way right through that book and then called my mom and told her I had done it. No, actually, I sped read. Again, it's not crazy. I don't know if somebody would be like, that dude's reading the hell out of that book. I think they would just be like, that dude's reading normally.

Whereas before it would be like, that dude's reading a page and a half and falling asleep. And you're like skipping areas where you don't feel like you need all the details. I know. I did not do that. Well, you're speed skipping. You're skimming. But I was like, it makes you engage with it, and then you have to.

And then sometimes you hit a place, and you're like, this is something that I have to slow down and take in every single word and say it out loud in my head and maybe go back. But then- The slow grind. They call it. And I got through the book, like it had taken me three weeks on and off to get like 40% of the way through the book.

And then it took me a week to finish. And I was like, this could be revolutionary. And you enjoyed the book more. Yeah, and I remember a lot about the way that the book, that second 60%. You didn't do any more research besides that. One video. Ha!

It was just, instead of reading it out loud to myself in my mind, I just was like, I'm gonna it out loud to myself in my mind, I just was like, I'm going to make my eyes move across the words faster than I think my brain can keep up with, and then you start thinking, oh, I actually just got all that. It's in there. Yeah. And I just speed read that doggy style is the position that is most likely to cause a penile fracture.

Which is what you thought penis popping was. Yeah, that's just the next page. I recommend it. It means you don't just go on my word, watch a video about it. Is that your recommendation? Yeah, let's make it my recommendation, because I'll save my other recommendation for next time. But... Cut for time. It's not bullshit. It's not bullshit. Like, it actually does work.

I never thought it was. Well, some of the videos are bullshit. Somebody picking up a book and going, and just being done with it, that's bullshit, man. And there's people who do that. Okay. We have as much time as we need

for me to experience my vision board that Jenna has worked on. I don't know how hard she's worked on it. Maybe I'll be able to tell when I look at it. Maybe. You're gonna give a scale of one to five stars? Yeah, yeah, give me an Uber rating. Okay, all right, here we go.

I'm gonna look at it first. Oh, wow. Holy moly. Look at this. It's got pills on it? Yeah, it does have pills. Oh my gosh Jenna I didn't see I didn't see the

The letters I thought you gave them Some pills Look at this Here's your vision For 2024 Take these pills I'm

Jenna I am gonna take this To therapy And take full credit for it Okay Hey therapist I've been doing some work on my own, and I just wanted to share it with you.

This might be frameable. Look at this. It's got a three-dimensional vibe to it. There's leaves. So what does this say? Ground. Ground. Ground.

And here's a snowboarder. And here's the moon, sun. Uh-huh. Here's a map with some islands, some angular shapes. Avant-garde bicycles. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, is this a bicycle? Mm-hmm.

Well, look at that. Mountain biking, snowboarding. What does ground mean, like staying grounded? Staying grounded. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a heart here replenish Stay hydrated. Maybe yep napping with dogs. Yeah, there's literally a man Napping with or maybe

He could be dead no he's not There's multiple dogs yeah, the dogs will stick around after you die, though. Oh my gosh. You have a man napping with a dog. And then you have a scuba diver. He has some adventure here. You got an underwater thing. Connect.

Connecting with nature? Connecting with my son, perhaps? Yeah. When I go scuba diving. I like connection. It's a good filter I like applying to things. Is this enhancing my connection with my fellow man? Here is an actual sign. Is that poison ivy? No.

And then, okay, mail sorted. Okay, yeah, because my number one thing was sexual activity. Yeah, yeah. What else have I missed here? Music? I put a hummingbird in there and on all the leaves that Christy. Oh, there's a hummingbird. Is that a fortune cookie?

The houseplants. It's kind of like a little fortune cookie down there, yeah. What does that say? You never talked about music, so I added a little thing about music. You're right. Yeah. You know what? Christy went out and I went on a date after that conversation about, like,

ranking our favorite stuff from the last episode. And we had a great conversation about that. Yay! It was a good date conversation. And then I realized, I was like, you know,

I didn't put anything about music on there. That's okay. I thought of that. Because I was like, listening to music and then playing music. Two different things,

both on my list. Without music and love, life is a journey through a desert. Oh, wow. Harsh. Yeah. I hope this didn't take as long as it looks like it took. How long do you think it took? It looks like a two-hour affair here.

Yeah, that's about right. But you had fun doing it, right? I did have fun. It was a fun Sunday. The only thing I did on company time was use the printer. I don't have a printer at home. Jenna, this is me. This is the experiential pleasure me. Yeah.

Look at that. That is beautiful. I'm not going to ask you to make me one. Okay. Thank you. I'm going to ask you not to make him one. I've got the big... We need to be different. I've got the pen and ink thing, you know.

Yeah, right. I've got it. I don't, you know, I don't want you... You don't need to spend any more company time on this. I'm doing a vision board for me. And I'm not going to burn this. Okay. Unless my therapist tells me that I should. It could be therapy. I'll talk to vision board for me. And I'm not going to burn this. Okay. Unless my therapist tells me that I should.

I'll talk to you about it before. Maybe at the end of the year, you burn it. You take a picture of it first. Yeah, it's the end of the year. You've completed your vision, and then you can release it into the fire. Yeah. And it'll be a phoenix come back from the ashes. I don't know.

I'll be in an Uber when I burn it. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll help. Yeah, help the rating. I don't know. I'll be in an Uber when I'm burning. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll help. Yeah, help the rating. What is my star rating? This is too good. I appreciate it.

And it's... I'm gonna stare at it whenever I need the perspective of pleasure. Thank you for that. Yeah. I'll be there. Maybe just...

Oh! No, it just cracked. Okay. And it's on fire. Oh, no. All the pills fell off. The vision is being destroyed. Very few words.

Easy to speed read. All right, we've been through a lot today. We're that much closer to each other. Yeah, listen. Hey, leave us those voicemails that we asked for. Dare us to respond with your assertions. We want to hear from you. 1-888-EAR-POD-1

And of course, hashtag Ear Biscuits. And leave us a review or a rating if you haven't. It's helpful. Especially if it's, you know, good like our Uber scores. Five stars. Hi, Rhett and Link. I just finished listening to the episode where Link talks about his New Zealand trip,

and I just wanted to say, as a mail carrier, I can verify that it is weird to be driving on the other side of the car, but you'll get used to it if you keep doing it. Love you guys.