Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - What Makes the Perfect Friend Group? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 431

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

This may be the whitest dad episode ever. In this episode, Link talks about the comedy show he went to with his married friend group. Rhett & Link then discuss what really makes the best friend group, how to diversify, as well as coming up with a new name to call themselves. The Peanut Butter Boys are back? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett.

And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim... Boy, it's round. Boy, it's dim in here. I've measured it before. It's actually not a perfect circle. And we are here to talk about... First of all, I want to tell you, I had so much fun doing something. I want to tell you about it. You had fun. Uh-huh. I had fun. Without you, but I missed you.

I missed you so much when I was having so much fun without you. I was thinking, boy, I'm having so much fun. And that's where my thoughts stopped. And then later I was like, I'll tell Rhett about it. And then I was like, well. On the podcast. Yeah, here it is and you'll have so much fun. I don't know if I'll have as much fun as you did when you did this thing.

Nope, you won't. That's, I mean, every time you tell a story, it gets buffered a little bit. But I make it, yeah, I make it better than it was. Really? Is that what you're saying? Well, maybe. Are you saying I'm a liar? Not for me. Not for me. I make it better than it was. Really? Is that what you're saying? Well, maybe. Are you saying I'm a liar?

Not for me. Not for me. Well, you are a world-class revisionist history maker. But I'm saying for me, being able to have as good of a time as you had just hearing you talk about it, not gonna happen. Not gonna happen. Not gonna happen.

What are you bringing in this podcast? Just reactions. That's it? Yeah. Okay. All right. I know we're gonna dole out some advice. We're gonna change your life today, dear listener.

But the thing that I had so much fun... Listen, if you're visiting LA, I think one of the best things to do, if you can do it, if you're fortunate enough to be able to get a ticket, going to the Hollywood Bowl is quite an iconic thing to do in Los Angeles. Yeah, it's great. It's so fun, and it's so, did I just say iconic? I'll say it again. It's this outdoor amphitheater.

It's huge. I mean, the history of this place is hallowed, I'm sure. But you're sitting there in the wonderful LA weather, looking at this amazing stage way down there, and you're looking at the Hollywood Hills. It's right in the middle of everything. It's just in the middle of everything. It's just in the middle of everything. It's...

It's quite an experience. Um, we've been to a good number of shows at the Hollywood Bowl, some of which have been comedy shows. Mm-hmm. Now, in my experience, a comedy show at, like, more of an intimate theater, that seems to be the best. If you got somebody who's like good at what they do.

Comedy doesn't do great in big places. Not as, it just doesn't have that same vibe of camaraderie. The arena effect. The reactions bouncing off of four walls. Well, people are literally hearing the jokes at different times. Psychologically, that is not great for timing. You got that up against you, but so like,

I love going to the Largo because- Very small. It's small, but you get some great acts coming through there. I've had a great time there. You don't wanna watch a comedian on a screen. You want to be able to look right at them. Well, but the Hollywood Bowl

is such an experience in and of itself that if you're seeing the right comedian that could command an audience that big, they're good enough to keep your attention. It's better than being at home like I was. So my group of friends that you're not friends with, you know, they like. I've met all of them and chosen not to be.

They like to book, you're not invited. Well, because I met all of them. They're not friends with you. Each one of them had decided I did not want to join. Weren't invited. I've only met one of them. They've, they got a good knack for saying,

hey, let's go to this show, let's go to that show. And I'm like, if I look at my calendar and if I'm in town, I'm like, yeah, comedy show, let's go.

We'll just see what happens when we get there or whatever. I honestly didn't take note of who was there, or it might have been so far in advance that I forgot. But the fact of the matter was, when I met up with everybody, that's when I, like, we were on our way there, that's when I found out who we were going to see. And boy, that was a surprise.

And I'm pretty sure I'd just forgotten. This is part of, like like Netflix has this comedy festival, multiple comedians and multiple venues all over L.A. for like a couple of weeks. Netflix is a joke. Is what it's called. And this was one of the big headlining things. Two nights at Hollywood Bowl, totally sold out. It was Nate Bargatze. Sebastian, can't remember his last name, but he's pretty famous. Italian dude.

Yeah, I know who you're talking about. You know who I'm talking about. And then it was Jim Gaffigan. Okay. And Jerry Seinfeld. And I'm like- I've heard of him. You know, I grew up watching Seinfeld. I've never seen Jerry Seinfeld. I've heard of him. I grew up watching Seinfeld. I've never seen Jerry Seinfeld live. This is going to be awesome.

And I'm like, I don't know much about this Sebastian guy, but based on the other three guys, this is the most middle America, just white male mainstream comedy that you could ever assemble. Right. Like, let's just get all these white guys together. Hey, and you're a white guy. I'm a white guy. You're going to be right at home. I'm a dad.

These guys are all dads with self-deprecating, safe humor. You're not going to raise too many eyebrows. Pretty clean. Very, yeah, pretty damn clean. Nobody said the F word. I don't think the F word was uttered. Cause Nate does not. He's very clean.

He doesn't. And Jim does not. Yeah, I saw his Netflix special. Funny guys, I mean. They're all funny. Funny guys. I know that I'm in the demo, and I know that if you're not in the demo, you might be like, why? One of the things that started happening to me.

I think if you're not a middle-aged white man, you might be tempted. Well, hold on. We don't know that. I mean, it's not just our comedy, man. But I'm just saying that I know that these four guys together. Yeah, when you get it all together. We're the target audience. And what I've started noticing happening is when there's a dad character in a movie

and they're making fun of something that a dad does for jokes. I'm like, oh, I do that. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I I have become there's two types of dad humor There's the bad jokes that dads make and then there's all the things that dads do that you make fun of I was watching That's what they do. I was watching a lot of a rom-com That I don't it's someone with Sidney Sweeney in it, which honestly I actually don't recommend it I don't recommend it. I mean Jesse and I watch rom-coms, and I just wasn't, I don't know,

I just wasn't as into that movie as I thought I would be. And I told Jesse, I prefer when Sidney Sweeney is playing someone that I'm not supposed to like. Like when her character on Euphoria or her character on White Lotus, like she's so good at that. And there was just something different about her playing

like the girl next door-ish thing. I don't know, something about it just didn't land with me. You should be a casting director. But the dad in that movie, they made fun of him because he was visiting Australia. And they were like, yeah, dad can't stop just talking about the differences between the United States and Australia. And then the scene happens and he were like, yeah, dad can't stop just talking about the differences between the United States and Australia. Right.

And then the scene happens and he's like, it's basically like America except, and I'm like, shit, that's what I did when I was there. Yeah. Oh, man, I fell right into the trap. The dad trap. I bought a ticket to this experience. Yeah, you paid for it. To what you're describing. And let me tell you, I mean, it was...

You ate it up. I ate it up. This dad just ate up that human. You licked it right up with a spoon. I mean, here was the interesting thing about it. It comes time for the show to start. Well, they had a little jazz band out there first. Of course they did.

And you didn't even think you would like that, but you kind of did. Yeah. It was alright. It was a little something to eat your little snacks and stuff to before they came out. Did you get some good food? They have some interesting little foodies things. I'm not going to talk to you about the food. Because I just don't care about it.

We brought our own food. And you can bring your own food or you can bring your own wine. And it was great. You cannot bring your own wine to all the shows. You couldn't do this one. Oh. And you gotta read the things because they were taking people's wine on the way in. It was dad comedy and they didn't think the dads could take their wine? They wanted you to buy the wine once you got in.

That was the requirement. I think they put them all together because at least three of them are all in this new movie that's on Netflix. The one about Pop-Tarts? Yes. because at least three of them are all in this new movie that's on Netflix. What about Pop Tarts? Yes.

I haven't seen it, so I'm not gonna push that. But here's the interesting thing. They all four came out together on stage. In a trench coat on top of each other? Yeah, and then, and then they unstacked, and it's like, oh look, it's all four of them. What do you get when you stack up four middle-aged white dads?

A hell of a night of comedy. There you go. They all four came out, and they were just kind of shooting the breeze a little bit. And I was like, okay, they've made a decision here. Four guys. What is happening? They're like shooting the breeze with the audience saying, hey, we're so excited to be doing this, like to be sharing the stage tonight. This is our second night doing it.

Last night was a warm up. You guys are going to get the best show. Last night sucked. Who's doing the most talking in this situation? Jerry started. I would think so. Jerry was doing the talking and Jim was was bantering with him and then Nate wasn't talking for a long time and then so didn't first thing Nate said was a joke about how he hadn't said anything

But then he started talking and then Sebastian they really had to make fun of him because he hadn't said anything yet But there was a hierarchy here that I was observing. And then I'm like, yeah. They had to talk in a certain order. There's like this hierarchical behavior. What order are they going to do? Are they all going to stand out there the whole time? I hope not.

What order are they going to do their sentence? Okay, before you tell me, can I say two things? Because the first thing I want to do is I want to make an observation about that, who said something and who didn't, and then I want to predict the order. Okay? Okay, yeah. Unless that ruins something for you. No, it doesn't.

It played you plain right into my hand. Yeah, well, I'm a white dad, and so I feel like I'm, I'm right there with you. Okay, number one, I saw Nate Bargatze do like, you know how they'll have funny people be on like Monday Night Football, or some program, some football, maybe it's college game day or something. And I'll be honest with you, out of those four guys,

I'm going to laugh at Nate Bargatze the most, right? He's from the South, and we're like the same age. Right. His cadence is so laid back, but that translates to an incredible set of stand-up for me and my personality and my experience. But when you put him in a group like that, I saw the people on Twitter talking about, like, who is this guy and what is he saying?

Because people didn't get him. They didn't understand him because he's not Jim Gaffigan. He's gregarious, and he kind of gets kind of, you know what I'm saying? Nate Bargassi is a fool. He's playing the fool. He plays a fool big time. He plays the fool, and he does it great. So I could totally see that, and I don't know.

I'm not familiar with Sebastian enough to know, but I could have told you that there was... He's very boisterous, and he gets physical. But it's not impressions. It's more like he puts his entire body into some of his bits. But here's the order. But he's kind of straight-faced when he does it. So he's not goofy.

His body is goofy, but his face is like gangster. Yeah, okay. He's Italian. Okay. Bust Italian. Okay. Bust your balls here. I was gonna say, the first thing that came to mind was Sebastian Gaffigan Bargatze Seinfeld. That was the order that came to mind first.

Okay. Okay, and I might stay with that, but then there was a part of me that was thinking that there's something about starting out with Gaffigan because everybody likes him so much. And you could go Gaffigan, Sebastian, Bargatze, Seinfeld. But I'm going back to the original and I'm saying Sebastian, Gaffigan, Bargatze, Seinfeld.

Okay. But you pretty muchi Seinfeld. Okay. But you pretty much knew Seinfeld needed to be last. He can't not be. That's a given. He's the anchor. I would have guessed that it was... I don't really know Sebastian, so I was like... I thought you were going to say, I don't really remember. It's the whole thing.

I don't remember. It's over. What do you want to talk about? I was guessing Sebastian, Nate, Jim Gaffigan, Seinfeld. That was my guess. You can't do that right now, though. Well, this is what they said. They said, we're going to bring out a hat.

Oh, then my whole thing is blown. And then we're going to pull balls out of this hat with numbers on it. Oh, so this just is a psychic game. And then they said, and then they happened to say, last night it was Sebastian, Nate, Jim, Seinfeld. I was like, oh, that's what it's going to be again tonight. This is just a bit. Because that's what I thought it was going to be anyway.

And they said, that's what we did last night. Let's see what happens tonight. And I was like, there's no way that Seinfeld's not going last. I mean, he's the biggest name. It would be weird if he pulled the first one. I mean, it just would. But you can't do this bit and not be prepared to follow through. It's not a bit.

Jerry pulls the first one. Oh, God. Oh, God. He said, and he's number four. Oh, okay, it is a bit. I was like, okay. And then Jim pulls his, and he was like, three. And I was like, this is a bit.

This is a bit. This is a bit. And then Sebastian pulled two. So then Nate pulls one. Going first. Okay. So you were wrong here. I was right about Seinfeld.

In terms of tenure. Of course. In terms of tenure, Seinfeld, I don't know how, I mean, I don't know how long Jim's been at it versus Jerry, but like. Oh. I mean. Not, I mean, maybe in terms of actual time doing stand-up, about the same.

About the same, but like, I mean, Jerry's the biggest draw here. So it made sense. But what I think they did was Jerry was going to go last and Jim was going to go before him. And then it was up to who was going to go first and second. And Sebastian and Nate switched between the two nights. Okay, okay. But the bit, but the way that they did it, the reason why the bit worked is because, A, it's believable. It added some excitement.

And I think it was a good look for Jerry to be like, you know what? I'm going to act as if we're all on the same level. Because they're all super talented and they're all super successful stand-up. But who are we kidding? So I think he was like, yeah, I'm going to do this bit. super successful standup, but who are we kidding? So I think he was like, yeah, I'm gonna do this bit, so I'm not asserting the fact that I've gotta go last. You know, it's like checking a little ego at the door and like giving a little bit to Nate and Sebastian,

I feel like, so I thought that was nice. Okay, now in terms of laughs. Nate was the best. I was gonna say, I would laugh the most at Nate. Well, first of all, he's, yeah, I love his sense of humor for all the reasons that you said. And he went first, so it was just right out of the gate. He's doing stuff from like, I've heard a few of these bits before. Like he was putting, it was a best of thing.

It was like knock it out of the park set kind of a thing. And it was amazing. And within that, there's a lot of dad humor. And then Sebastian comes out, dad humor. Jim comes out, dad humor. And actually, Jerry. It's not dad humor. He had a little bit of dad humor, but I was done with the dad humor.

Jerry is complaining humor. Observational, but yeah, a little bit of complaining. Well, let's get specific. He's complaining. Yeah. But it was nice to like, I mean, because Nate has this like very dialed in and very, like, he has so much momentum. That's why you thought he would be third. Because he's doing so well right now. Because I just know he's got, like, I was thinking that... But the dad, and so he used all the dad humor. I was just thinking that because Seinfeld is the one

who's ultimately in charge of this, well, you don't necessarily want to follow the person that's going to get the most laughs, because then people might be like, oh, wow, you know, Jerry isn't as funny as Nate anymore or whatever. I don't think, I think Jerry doesn't care. I don't think he's, I think he's fine, right?

Yeah. He's been doing it forever. They all were amazing. Well, they all brought it. Yeah. It wasn't anybody that was like, okay. But Nate was my favorite. But I mean, we were just laughing.

We were just laughing so hard. It's just simple. You know, sometimes it's just not, you know, it's like, Christy and I were like, we had a night to ourselves, and I was like, let's go see a movie. And I was like, let's just see something simple. Let's just, I don't wanna watch Civil War, I just don't wanna, I wanna do that tonight.

Let's watch Fall Guy. You know, we're sitting there watching Ryan, what's his name? Ryan... uh, Gosling. Ryan Gosling jump off a jeep and wink at... uh, what's her name? Emily Blunt? Emily Blunt. There you go. You just saw it, right? Yep. Yep. You know, they have different names in the movie, though.

Oh! They did that, huh? Weird, weird, weird. They did that. It was kinda like that. It's like... but, well, I will say, that movie wasn't funny. It was what I will call certifiably mildly amusing. But Ryan Gosling is funny. He was amusing in this movie. It just wasn't written for actual comedy. Oh.

Nope. Nope. It was written, it was cutesy and amusing. So your choice for simple didn't work as a movie, but it worked for comedy. Well, yeah, it wasn't heavy. It was light fare. I mean, this stuff was just like laughing for two hours straight. Boy, that's, I mean, that's some great therapy right there.

And they're all so good at what they do. I felt great the whole next day. Really? Yeah. Well, comedy is the, laughter is the best medicine, Link. Yeah, I really think it is. Those guys are so honed. You know what I'm saying?

It's a different, we don't do that. It's a totally different thing. Like, because you. Don't compare yourself. No, no, I'm just saying that, like,, we don't do that. It's a totally different thing. Like, cause you- Don't compare yourself. No, no, I'm just saying that like, if we were like, cause we've talked about it before. Like we haven't talked about it.

People have asked us like, you guys should stop by the laugh factory or whatever. What the hell are we gonna do? We don't have a, I don't- Probably laugh at comedians that aren't us. I don't have a set. Yeah. Like, do you understand how hard it is

to get to that point? Oh, yeah. To put together a set that everything kills like that? Like, those guys have experimented in so many different settings to, like, mine the gold, and then you just get, and it's just these seasoned miners just standing out there and just like crapping out their gold in front of you.

Now, if you're not... Miners don't crap gold. If you're not, if you're in the mine for long enough, it gets in your feces. If you don't like this, though, if you don't like this kind of comedy, it might be insufferable. You know what I'm saying?

That's true. That's why we keep having this self-deprecating white dad thing that we keep saying because we're a little self-conscious about how funny we think it is. Right, yeah. But we know it's not for everybody. But I think that I've got to amend my list of favorite things to do. It's like seeing a really good comedian. Oh, it's up there. Is it better than snowboarding?

It's... no. It's now on the list. I just think that... Is it better than sex? No! Okay, I'm just making sure. No. Yeah, but I thought that you said that snowboarding was better than sex. Did you say that? Uh, no.

Well, you thought maybe you did say that, though. I thought I might have said that, but I don't stand by it if I said it. I'm just saying it's entering somewhere down in the top 10. The teens? Oh, okay, oh, 10. There's nothing like just laughing your ass off, man. And then leaving it in the amphitheater. But you can't just go to a comedy show

and expect that to happen. You have to go to somebody you know you're going to laugh at. You can't just show up at the laugh factory. But don't get me wrong. We paid a lot of money. Yeah. Right. But then at the last minute, we upgraded to a box for $43 more a couple.

Whoa. Somehow we found out about that. And then so you walk in, and in the middle of the amphitheater, there's like a strata there. And it's not really close. It's not really far. What about the food there? There's food. They'll wait on you.

Hold on, but you brought your own food so you didn't order anything? We ordered drinks and they brought them to us. See, in that situation, I just go ahead and bad boy it up. I get the food I brought and the food that I ordered. You could do that. But the weird thing is when you're sitting there, you sit there in a group of four and two people are facing the stage and then the other two people are facing those people.

So I was facing, I was looking at the crowd, the whole amphitheater with the stage behind me. And then what, like you were just leaning back really far to watch the comedians? Yeah, I bent over. I was watching it all upside down. Did I not say that? The best way to watch a comedy show at the Hollywood Bowl is...

The jokes land totally differently. Yeah, they do. I had to turn around eventually, but... Swivels? Yeah, but I made it awkward for a while. No, I had to pick up the chair and turn it around. Don't worry about that.

Well, hey, I'm a dad. I'm just thinking about... Was it a swivel chair or something? Was it a swivel chair? I mean, how did this work? What about... Was it a swivel chair or something? Was it a swivel chair? I mean, how did this work? What's the deal with the swivel chair? So it's a loose chair that you could just steal? Yeah, you could steal it.

Yeah, you could fold it up. Doesn't seem safe. Doesn't seem safe. I had the best time of my life. Laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing. You know? They kept telling jokes and I kept laughing at them. It's quite an arrangement.

I love it. I love it. But I won't laugh at a joke if it's not funny. But I was just laughing. I was just laughing and laughing and laughing. Was everyone... It feels good to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. Was your...

Okay, now you're starting... You gotta put yourself in a position where you're just laughing and laughing. Now you're starting to make me think that maybe you laughed too much. I didn't stop laughing. Once I started laughing, every joke made me laugh. Hold on, but the way that you're talking about it now is making me uncomfortable. Laughing and laughing and laughing. What I'm saying is that if you go to a small venue,

were the people in your group looking at you laughing and thinking, whoa, he's laughing a lot? No, everybody was laughing and laughing. What was Christy doing? Oh, she was laughing and laughing and thinking like, whoa, he's laughing a lot? No, everybody was laughing and laughing. What was Christy doing? Oh, she was laughing and laughing and laughing. She was laughing more than me. Okay, so maybe you're making it seem more extreme than it was. Well, I'm just saying we were all laughing and laughing and laughing.

Everybody. But you weren't doing the thing where somebody's laughing so hard where they are the last person laughing. No. And then the comedian starts noticing, and if it's a smaller venue, they have to talk to him. You weren't doing that. I was at the Hollywood Bowl. Okay, I'm just making sure. There was a little knee slapping, too. I slapped my knee a couple times.

Oh. Did anybody get that on video? Probably. Huh. Sometimes I would punch a friend a couple of times. Those are the best. And then I wasn't sitting next to Christy. She was over there for like the first two acts. I did move next to hery. She was over there for like the first two acts. I did move next to her for the last two. But for the first two, she was sitting

next to some of the girlfriends. Did she make that choice? Or it was just you divided men and women? A little bit. It was one of those things. Yep. But I kept turning around and saying to Christy, That's me, isn't it? Oh no! That is you!

Oh no. I was that guy a little bit. Okay, alright. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I know that, I know that was me. I know that's me! I'm laughing and laughing and laughing!

Thanks for painting that picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were loving it and loving it. Having a good old time. That's the best thing ever. Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers.

Add your teen to your Uber account today. That is a choice that you have to make. Have you noticed this, that when you go out with a group of hetero couples, that there's this choice that is made at some point where it's just like, are the ladies gonna talk and the men gonna talk? And then there's always one couple

that is kind of like, we don't wanna do that. Let's not do the boys and girls thing. And then sometimes they try to keep the whole group together. Yeah. And if that's not what the group dynamic was supposed to be

or what the other people thought was gonna be. I mean, if there's like, and you don't know about the marital tension going on in other couples, you think this is just a hetero thing? I mean, that's all you can speak for. Well, I'm saying, I guess if you, let's just say, so if you went out with a gay couple and a lesbian couple. Oh yeah, they're both either guys or girls.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at. Yeah. And so then you've got a situation. It's harder to split them up. You can split them up gay and straight. Or is it like, yeah, well that's an interesting thing. That's why you just shouldn't split up. That's why you should just be like,

wherever you sit, you sit. But if you split up gay and straight, then you're with couples. I'm so confused now. So if you go, if a bunch of lesbians go to a concert, is it, so it's like a- I know, I just think, I know- We can't speak on this.

No, have you gone to the concert with a bunch of lesbians? Yes, I have. Yeah, you did. I smell like soap. Yeah, but you were with your wife at the time. I was. You weren't, you did not bus there with a lot of lesbians, so you don't know how they divide.

If you're, what we need, I mean, yeah, I mean, we need to have a gay couple in our friend group. I mean, we gotta have some more queer in our friend group. Well. Is what you're really saying. That's what you're highlighting, because that's what busts this whole thing up. We've had gay people in our friend group. Well. Is what you're really saying. What's what you're highlighting? Because that's what busts this whole thing up. We've had gay people in our friend group.

In our friend group, but that particular friend group that I have that you're not involved in. But it's gay people that are not in a long-term relationship, which ends up being like, okay. Right. These people have been married for 20 years. This is the person that you're dating now.

Not that we can't hang out. Again, I'm not talking about our friend group. Okay. But my friend group you're not invited to, that's another reason you're not invited, because you're straight. We got too many of those. We need some queer in that group.

Yeah, but if you invite somebody because they're queer and then they know that that's why you invited them. Right. I mean... But yeah, you don't wanna go about it that way. I don't know how to go about it. It just needs to happen. You need a bigger gathering

and then let friendships happen naturally. Because if you have a lot of hetero couples and then you got, let's say you got one lesbian couple. Can you draw this out for me? I think I can hold all this in my mind at this point.

Then all the, all the straight women are over here with their charcuterie and all the straight men are over here with their, with their beer.

Jenna, do you like charcuterie? That is a correct generalization. Okay, all right. Jenna, do you like charcuterie? That is a correct generalization. Okay, alright. Listen, single people don't have a place in this conversation. Fine. Oh. I just mean they're not at the... Just see myself out.

My friend group is only marrieds, but... Only marrieds. Uh-huh. That feels discriminatory. Yeah, thanks thanks thanks a lot it's just you wouldn't like it okay

too much married energy okay too much too much long term partnership energy oh no how awful it might rub off on me

I'm just like do we need lesbian couples gay couples I don't know trans couples whatever I don't know, trans couples, whatever. I don't care. All of that, yes, yes, yes. But singles, no.

Definitely not. I don't want any. So only couples. I don't want no singles in my friend group. But other than that, I'm very open. You're talking about this other friend group? Yes. Specifically.

Yes. Because of, I mean, what's the perfect friend group? Yes. Specifically? Yes. Because of, I mean, what's the perfect friend group? I don't think you should mix. There's probably a sitcom that's figured it out. You shouldn't mix singles and marrieds or like long-term commitment, practically marrieds, whatever you call that. Why? Couples. Yeah, I don't. It's just, you wouldn't like it. No, no, no. If the dynamic has been established and it's like four or five straight long-term married couples, you've already gone in error. You know what I'm saying?

I know we have. At that point, it's hard to invite people in, but I'm saying if you're building the friend group from the beginning like a sitcom cast... Mm-hmm. There we go. At that point, you just gotta make sure you're not pushing too hard in any one direction. That's hard to start, but you gotta see it coming. You gotta see it happening.

I have long-term relationship and married friends that invite me out, and I hang out with them. I don't understand. And you like it? Yeah, they're my friends. I mean, no offense to you. That's okay. They're going to love you.

You're single. You're living the life. I mean, all the vicarious conversations. They ask you lots of questions. It's like, tell me about the apps. What's it like to date? Oh, my God. It's like, it's great for the married people because you're such a fascination.

But for the single person, I just... A subject, really, is what they consider you. You're a specimen. A specimen. They consider you a specimen. That's fine. That's what. Also, I have friends.

I'm looking out for you. Yeah, but I already have friends who are married or in long term. They're your friends, but they're really. They are my friends. They're like. You're a token. They're like the people in charge of the experiment. They are my friends.

You are a token. They care about me. in charge of the experiment. They are my friends. You are a token. They care about me. They remember my birthday. I'm sorry, Jenna. I guess we're wrong. You're saying that you like it. Because of my friends. Being objectified by your...

Friends. Can I just say, here's what I will add to this conversation. Don't go. Not that I haven't already tried to add something, but you didn't do yourself any favors going to that particular comedy show. No, I didn't. It was almost like you were officially

putting the clamp down on the friend group that it's just only straight people, straight married people. You went to that comedy show as a group and forever that group, that's what it's gonna be yeah I would've said no to that invite yeah see

she would've said no I mean I'm sure it would've been great but like it's not a comedy show I'm necessarily interested in yeah I get it

I get it I understand that exactly exactly that's exactly what I'm saying what you need to do is go to like

a Julio Torres show isn't it though you know isn't it exactly what I'm saying What you need to do is go to like a Julio Torres show That isn't though Isn't it exactly what I'm saying? You know about him? That MF-er is funny The guy that did that Shapes special I told you about He was like on SNL and he was on a Spooky or whatever that show was With Armisen

Okay Anyway, I bet you if you went to that guy's comedy show, you'd come back with some interesting folks. That's all I'm saying. I like... That's where that comedy show I like a broad range

of comedians. Okay. And I'd like to have more friends to get back to that that aren't straight and monogamous. Oh, you want polyamorous?

I don't know what I want. You don't have to look too far in this town. You really don't. I could point you to a few. But that's what's gonna, I mean, the track that I'd like to choose for us to go back to is the one where you're like, the boys go to one side

and the girls go to the other side of the dance and then they don't dance with each other. Well, we were in a friend group at one point where there was a couple who actively said, let's not do that. I remember several times. Yeah. And I was like, okay, you know what?

This is kind of interesting. Yeah, we don't have to do... And of course, we come from like church. Split them up. Whereas like right from the beginning, they were like, we can't be together. Like in college, it was like the men's group and the women's group, the men's Bible study.

In fact, I remember when we were freshmen, the guys in Campus Crusade, we were in two Bible studies, if you recall. We were going to the Campus Crusade Bible study, and we were going to the InterVarsity Bible study, which was co-ed. We quite liked it. And then the Crusade guys got us, and they said, you guys are going to a co-ed Bible study?

Guys, you can't really be open and honest with the women there, can you? And we were like like i guess you're right like we you know and then we kind of followed that that track for for quite some time so we actually have to actively work against the the inclination to be like well you sit down and you just men talk to each other and women talk to each other the second half of the show i went over and christy and i sat next to each other and And we laughed and laughed. That was a beautiful moment. Did you slap her knee? Laughed and laughed and laughed.

Did you elbow her? I grabbed her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. Reach over and bite her a little bit? Gave her a shoulder squeeze. I did not bite her, no. If something gets funny enough, you start gnawing. I gotta have something to gnaw on. Just reach over and bite the shoulder a little bit.

No. That's never happened. Try that next time. If it's funny enough, you'll bite. You will bite your wife if things get funny enough. Did I say anything I need to take back? Mm-hmm. Yeah, both of us probably. But we can't worry so much, man.

Well, I'm just saying, I acknowledge that like- Let Jamie worry about that. Yeah. We need to have more, you know, a little more diversity in our friend group. Right. There are different races in my friend group. I will say that. It's not just a bunch of white people.

Okay. Introducing Tim's new Infuser Energy Beverages, made with natural caffeine. They come in two refreshing flavours, Blackberry Yuzu and Mango Starfruit. Try them today, only at Tim's. At participating Tim's restaurants in Canada for a limited time. It's time for Tim's. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. When you drive a Mazda, you'll find out why RSUVs won more 2024 IIHS top safety picks than any other brand as of June 2024.

Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Just find a way to laugh. That's really what I'm after here. Finding a way to laugh, going to a place where there's a professional who their job is to make you laugh, and if they can do that reliably, it's worth the ticket. That's just nice. I agree. I also agree that the shirt that I'm wearing would look great on you. It's the... International Darts League. Oh yeah, it's got something on the back.

You a member of a league? What's it look like on the back? Well you're not turning around enough. Turn around a little bit more. Swivel chair. Is it a swivel chair? Get the International Darts League shirt. Of course, we play darts on Good Mythical

Morning and now you can feel like you're part of the squad. Yeah. Mythical.com. Single, married, monogamous, or not. Yeah. Straight, gay, whatever you, whoever you are, whatever you do, do it in the International Darts League shirt. I like that.

Whoever you are, whatever you do. Okay. Let's listen to a voicemail. Hey, Red and Pink. This is Thomas from Saxony, Germany. Germany and I just heard the last year biscuit and realized that I have a alchemist LP, which is worth around $150. So I love your show.

I heard any of the last episodes and thank you a lot for, for doing this. Goodbye. Goodbye. You. Goodbye. You're welcome. And thank you for proving our point from last week. It may have been somebody doing an impersonation. We don't know.

Oh, you think? You think someone's acting like they're from Germany? No, we're going to trust him. To prove that we can receive international calls? Yeah, I actually think he is from Germany, and I think that this proves that where there's a will, there's a way. You can get through. You can call our number somehow. I don't know how it works. Some people said Skype. I don't think

WhatsApp actually does work, Jamie, because I read about that. But we're still, you know what? We're still looking into it, if there's a way to make it easier. But he proved you can get through. 1-888-EAR-POD-1. Are you gonna send me that Alchemist LP? I mean, is that what you were saying? No, he wasn't saying that. He was just saying, like, hey, man, look, we like the same thing, and I got it.

And I helped him realize that it was worth more money than he thought. Oh. I think is what he was saying. Yep, yep, yep. Mm-hmm. Yep, and now he's gonna keep it probably. You don't need to send it to Link. If you go to retinlink.com...

The shipping would be incredible. ...or mythical.com, I think they go to the same place, and then you look at the contact information, you can figure out how to mail us something. I'll just put that out there. Do not mail your LP to Link, please. Don't.

But if anybody else is listening and they want to, they should. If you want to get rid of it. Yeah, I'm looking for handouts now. I'm asking for... You can go and buy your own thing. Well, it's limited edition, you know.

Okay. All right. Do you want to talk anymore about this German man or do you want to hear another voicemail? I don't have anything else to say about the German man. What do you want me to say about the German man, or do you want to hear another voicemail? I don't have anything else to say about the German man. What do you want me to say about the German man?

You should have been like, nine, when I said that. Nine. Isn't that no? Yes. Nine. It's also a number in English, right after eight. Seems like it should be zero. Is nine in German zero?

Zero is probably zero. It's probably the same. Okay. A lot of crossover. Let's hear another one. Hey, Rhett and Link. This is Max from Illinois. I was just listening to your latest episode,

and Rhett said something about taste buds, and an epiphany hit me. Have you guys ever thought about calling something about taste buds and an epiphany hit me. Have you guys ever thought about calling each other taste buds? Because you guys are eating and trying things most of the time on the show. I feel like there's a whole line of merch that could just be your favorite morning taste buds. I don't know, just a thought. Well, I guess we're going to talk about this publicly now.

We haven't already? I don't know if we have. Okay, here we go. This is a good story. This is a good story. We can tell it now in good, clean conscience. Yeah. You may recall, not too long ago, we had a hit show.

Blockbuster television show. It was called Inside Eats with Rhett and Link. It was. But it wasn't originally called that. When we were batting around different names. This show's gonna go for seasons, decades. This is gonna be... How can they say no to this show?

This is gonna be the mark that we put on entertainment. It better be a good title for a show. It's literally every single episode is basically just a big commercial for a brand. People are gonna be knocking down our doors and Food Network's doors just asking us to make this. I mean, this is gonna be like our Triple D is kinda what... No, we never said that, but there was a thought that that could happen. And so I don't remember who came up with it. You gotta have a whole list of names when you're gonna name a show. And so I don't remember who came up with it.

You gotta have a whole list of names. Yeah, between me and you and Stevie and probably other people, we were putting names on a list. And the name that everybody really liked was Taste Buds because, hey, we're best friends. We taste things. Taste Buds, double on Pandora. Done.

Let's do it. And then when you come up with a name that you like and you are a sophisticated media outlet, you go through this process of what they call clearance. And actually, if I recall correctly- It made it. Food Network is the one that handled the title clearance. Yes.

And when they came back and said- Clear. Clear. Let's made it. Food Network is the one that handled the title clearance. Yes. And when they came back and said... Clear. Clear. Let's do it. We worked up title cards. When we announced the show it was Taste Buds with Brent and Link. Yes, we announced it. And then... And then we find out that there is a podcast called Taste Buds hosted by

one of the guys from Impractical Jokers, I can't remember, I know what he looks like, I can't remember his name. I'm a fan of those guys. I never listened to the podcast, obviously, because we would not have named our show the same thing as their podcast. Right.

And it was funny, because I think they ended up talking about it, we found out about it real fast. Well yeah, because it's not an unpopular podcast. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how we missed it. We didn't.

Even in the Google search. We didn't miss it. It didn't come across our desk until people started saying, well, you know, this is going to be weird because these guys already have a, you know, they have a show, and they've kind of been calling it that for a while. And I don't remember exactly what we said at that point. It was just like a kind of like, let's not talk about this widely.

Let's just change the name quietly. Because it's like sometimes you don't want to be like, apologize for something that you didn't mean to do, because all of a sudden it's like a bunch of people who didn't know about it now suddenly know about it. Well, that's the Streisand effect. They say. So it's just like, okay, fine.

Okay, yeah. We'll come up with another name. We're not gonna compete. There was talk. And we did. There was talk of what if it was taste buddies? There was talk of that. And we were like, eh, no, no. If I was those guys, I would not be happy about that.

So we're not going to do that. It was like, yeah, we put ourselves in their shoes because we knew that once our show hit the Food Network air that anything, like we were going to define not only genre, but our title was gonna become ubiquitous with... Oh yeah, it was gonna be a full solar eclipse. So much success. Yeah.

Is that why the show wasn't reordered? Yeah, because of the name. After its little mini season? I will say. Because we couldn't name it Tastebuds? There was a lot of other options, but every one of them had a clearance problem. And when I'm in situations like this, a lot of times I will get my wife involved. She's got great ideas.

I consult her regularly on creative ideas. And I was like, we can't come up with a title for this thing that's not already done. She came up with a list, and on her list was Inside Eats. And I was like, I don't really like it that much, but it's the best name that any of us have come up with that is clearable and so we're going with it. Okay. And I was like, that's pretty cool. Jessie got to name the show and of course,

then you know what happened with it. She killed it. But what we I was like, that's pretty cool. Jessie got to name the show. And of course then, you know what happened with it. She killed it. But what we did. D-O-A. We, no one else can use that for a while because we took it for a little bit. We took it, we tarnished it. Hey, you can have it.

I'll put it to you that way, you can have it. We're not bitter about the show not working. I'm grateful that it didn't work. We learned a lot of lessons. It was very important for us. Why did it not work? I don't know. I actually don't know.

Oh, you wanna talk about that? Well, not really. Okay. Doesn't matter. I don't care about opening that can of worms, but. There was another. I'll just say, I personally am glad. Here's what I would like to talk about.

That it didn't work. I'm really glad it didn't work either. Here's what I do wanna talk about. What should we call ourselves? Okay. Because that was the starting point of this. He heard taste buds and he's like, you guys should call yourself taste buds.

Where I thought he was going with it is like, how should we address each other? You know? Like if we're... I've always wanted to be a Dale. Dale? Dale. D-A-L-E.

Dale. Dale. Dale! Hey, I mean, do we... We never call each other or anything. We don't have like... Linky poo or anything like that. I never called you that.

Link! I mean, on the show... Link! Link! That's what I've been calling you for years. Rat. Rat. Rat. That's what I call you. Rat. Rat. I don't like to really pronounce it. Link!

That's what I say. I get low like that. Link! When I want to really get your attention. Rat. I throw like a bark. Link! Link! Link! Link! When I don't want to really get your attention. Right. I throw like a bark. It's very barky is how I usually get your attention. We refer to ourselves as the Peanut Butter Boys.

Yes. On GMM. I mean, we could have a show called the Peanut Butter Boys. What kind of show would that be? That could be back on Food Network. Two middle-aged white dads eat... Everything. Peanut butter. With peanut butter.

The Peanut Butter Boys with Dale and Luke! Yeah. Can I be Dale in this scenario? Well, I'm gonna be Link. I don't want that to be your name. Well, you can be first. Link and Dale. Link and Dale.

Link and Dales. Yeah, okay, whatever. I'll let you be first if you let can be first. Lincondale. Lincondale. Lincondales. Yeah, okay, whatever. I'll let you be first if you let me be Dale. Call me Uncle. Halfway through their illustrious career, they switched up from Rhett and Link to Lincondale. We're only halfway through. You see the context there?

Halfway through. Okay. Yep. Are we halfway through with our career? Cause now I'd like to switch our relationship from being friends to like, you can be my nephew. I don't think that's how it works. Uncle Link.

I don't wanna call you uncle. God brother. That's actually funny. We're God brothers. God brothers. Man, if we were still Christians. funny. We're God Brothers. God Brothers. Man, if we were still Christians. We used to be God Brothers. If we were still Christian doing some comedy,

the God Brothers. The God Brothers are coming to a mega church near you. But it's- They're not brothers. Nope, they're God Brothers. But God. They're not God, but they're into God. And now that they're not into God anymore, it's G-A-H-D Brothers. God.

God Brothers. Yeah. Brothers. G-A-T Brothers? Okay. Yeah, we're still workshopping, as you can see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we have a name for our new show, and we cleared that one.

And we did the diligence, What they call due diligence. And I think that's D-U-E diligence. It's the diligence that's deserved. After learning our lesson from taste buds, we made sure that the name, which I'm not going to accidentally say. Do you... Because it's not time. Do you know off the top of your head, Jenna, when we're announcing that? As it relates to this?

Oh, I... A little bit later. Do not. I do think it is a little later, yeah. Than when this comes out. I feel good about this. Because this is like mid-June that we're talking. This is out.

So... Cramp! Oh, cramp! I shouldn't have that decaf coffee. I should have had water. You're saying that you're cramping because you had a coffee? I'm cramping because I had another diuretic instead of a water. Really?

All day long. Like your stomach is cramping or your calf? Let's compare what we've drank today. Is it drunk or drink? I always just kind of alternate. I had a big glass of water. So first thing I woke up, big glass of water, that's what I do. I had a big glass of water with my pills.

There was creatinine in it. Because I was out of kefir. Which is what kind of gives you some cramps. I usually drink kefir straight out of the bed. Kefir first. Kefir with my pills. I'm out of kefir, I drink a big glass of water. You... What's the next thing you do? Mr. Hydration doesn't start with water? Because you've been doing water all night. I'm out of kefir, I drink a big glass of water.

What's the next thing you do? Mr. Hydration doesn't start with water? Because you've been doing water all night. Yeah, all night. I haven't done any water during the night. So first thing is water. Then a double long shot espresso. That is my pre-workout. It's just a straight black espresso.

Oh, okay. A double shot. They're called long shot, but I think it's essentially, it's just more water, but it's the same amount of caffeine as a double shot. Well, I had just a coffee, so like a single shot.

And I know you're not supposed to have coffee within 30 minutes of waking up, whatever. Okay. I'll be all right. Then after the workout, smoothie. Me too. See, we're on the same side. And smoothie's got a lot of liquid in it.

I pee so much, so much in the morning because of that. Yep, and then you come into work. Come into work. But I have a big thing of water in my car, and I drink that on the way into work. I into work. But I have a big thing of water in my car and I drink that on the way into work. I don't. Yeah. How come you're not like literally like wet pants

as you walk in? How do you do that? How do you have a smoothie and then you drink water on the way? I would be pissing myself. I'd have to wear. My urethra at some point, there's a mechanism in it which like pinches.

This is going back to the robotic penis At some point, there's a mechanism in it which like, pinches. This is going back to the robotic penis from last episode. I can hold my pee. Usually I'll have a green tea. When you get in here. When I get in here. And that's what I had today. And then... What did I have? I had... Decaf green tea. Oh, it was? I have? I had decaf green tea.

Oh, it was? I've been giving you decaf green tea. Oh, she's been slipping me decaf. You told me you wanted decaf green tea from now on. I'm glad I asked you that. There you go. And you're right because I don't need to have that much caffeine because the next liquid I had was lunch and I had a Yerba

and that's got caffeine in it. And it's still like a tea. And then now this, no water since the very beginning of the day. Now this is, I'm not at- You gotta work on this, man. I know, like I'm cramping. Well, that's the decaf coffee.

I actually, I picked up my Air Up because it is the thing that makes me drink because it's got the smell of the water, and I sucked on it, there was nothing in there. I was like, ah, I'm not gonna fill this thing up. Yep, you're lazy, you're helpless. Yep, we need to spigot in our office. I'm glad we did that, I'm glad we went down that.

What have you drunk today? Boy, that was worth it. Yeah, well, I mean, we're middle-aged dads, and we gotta stay hydrated, gotta keep each other informed. What are you gonna drink when you get home? A little nightcap, a little port. Well, I'll drink the rest of my water

that's in my car on the way home. And then when I get- You'll drink on the way home because you're thirsty? Because it's there and I like to just drink. When in doubt, drink. Listen, I wish I drank as much as you, but I'm just so fascinated by it. Like a specimen, like Jenna and her married friends.

And then when I get home... I look at you and I'm like, he's drinking in this... I mean, the commute's not that long. I only drink water usually when I get home. For the rest of the day? Yeah. But including my one Topo Chico. Okay.

Which is well-timed for the treat of the evening. So I do the La Croix and I will do a diet, caffeine-free soda, trying to cut back, but I'll get one of those. That's not, that's crampy time too. Yeah, can't do it. It feels like, maybe. Can't do it. It feels like, maybe. Can't do it.

And then water before I go to bed. I camel up a little bit before I go to bed. I do that. I fall asleep drinking water. The one that's in my car is the one that's by my bed. Yeah, it's the same bottle. Yeah. You carry it.

Yeah. And I should have brought it in, but I was afraid I would leave it at work. So I left it in the car. Now I wish I had it. I did something that- I'm thirsty. I did something that I don't ever do. Me, as we've established, me and you not big drinkers.

You know, I do spill wine on myself for like decoration of shirts and stuff. You're not a big drinker of alcohol. But I'm not a big drinker of alcohol. But I'm not a big drinker of alcohol. Notable alcoholic experiences, and I shouldn't say alcoholic experiences, experiences that involved alcohol so far this year that were notable, that I will say I kind of enjoyed.

Now, first of all, a cocktail with a good meal, preceding a good meal, a good restaurant with a good bar, a mezcal something, I'll do that. I enjoy it. Just one. Just one. But when NC State got into the Sweet 16, I broke out some of that. You know, people give us liquor all the time. And they give us nice.

Yeah, I don't know what to do with it. They give us nice liquor. And I just give it to my friends. You know, I'm just like, I have friends that want to drink, and if they're at my house, I'm like, yeah. And they're like, this bottle of scotch is like $400. I'm like, well, I'm not going to do anything with it. Really?

You know, it's like it was a gift, and I'll drink a little bit with you right now, but I just, I- You can have it. But there was a good bottle of scotch. And I was like, and Tim, he likes to break out the celebratory scotch, the pack wins.

Yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna do that. And I had a little, a little shweeg. How did that go over? It was great. It was great. I put it on some ice, you know? Okay.

And I was like- A little scotch on the rocks. I was like, this is fun. I don't wanna do it again right now and I don't wanna do it for a while. But I enjoyed it. But then I played golf for the first time in like a year the other day. I saw that on your Instagram. Kind of.

And it was, you know, there's the girl with the cart. No. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. The girl with the cart? The cart girl, yeah. She's got the cart? The cart girl, yeah. She's got a cart that's got goodies in it. She's driving around. She's selling things.

Like a golf, not a golf cart, a snack cart. Yeah, it's a golf cart that has been converted into a snack cart. Oh, so she drives around. Mm-hmm. Mobile snack. Yes, and she has a credit card machine. Mm-hmm. Of course she does. Talking to the clouds somehow. Mobile snack store. Yes, and she has a credit card machine. Of course she does.

Talking to the clouds somehow. And she's transacting right there, and she's got beers. She's got, she'll mix you a little drink. A scotch? No, I didn't have a scotch. I had a beer. I was like, I'm going to have a beer while playing golf. That's what men do.

Okay. And it was pretty good. It was like, okay, this is pretty good in this context. A cold beer. Cold beer on a not so hot day. Okay. I got a Caesar wrap. She had a Caesar wrap and some chips as well. This is what you're telling me about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm out there, I'm on the golf course eating a Caesar wrap, and I'm like, Caesar wrap. If I could show this experience to a caveman right now, and see this guy with these weird synthetic clothes on, with this long club hitting this little white ball, synthetic clothes on with this long club hitting this little white ball on this immaculately manicured lawn.

And this girl coming up in this animal that's got wheels and is rolling around and she opens it up and there's this perfectly curated, little wrapped up piece of food. His mind would be blown. It's like, what is happening? And there's a language barrier, so. Yeah, he would be groaning a lot.

But it really hit me how good I got it. Well, I'm glad that you finally went golfing, by the way. It takes a lot. You gotta find somebody that'll do it with you. Yeah. You gotta find somebody that'll do it with you. Nobody likes to do it anymore. It's not a thing anymore.

It's dying, it seems like. Okay. I'm resurrect, it seems like. I'm resurrecting it. How did you shoot? Is that the proper way to ask? What did you shoot? What's your handicap? I've never played enough to establish what I think.

Just tell me what I should... How did you do? I kept score and I shot a 92, which is 20 over what you're supposed to get is over par, which for a man that doesn't play very often, I was pretty proud, I finished strong. So 18 holes, you did 20 more than what you should have. So on each hole, you averaged one more stroke.

Average. What that means is there's like... That's actually... Yeah, okay. There's like a hole where... That's pretty good. I made an eight on one hole. That was supposed to make a four on.

Things fall apart. So you birdied something. Link, once I got my groove, I finished. I know no one cares, but I do. Maybe you will. Par, par, par, birdie, par. And I was like, oh, I have found something. Did you wanna, do you wanna do another 18 after that?

No, no, no, no. My back was like, you are done for the day. But you know what it was? It was my- Now you wanna go back. My back, that's what happens, man. Even if you finish horribly, one good moment of greatness and you're like, yeah. One good moment of greatness?

It keeps you coming back. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it again, but in LA it takes like five hours. This is the best podcast we've ever done. We've talked about what we drank today, and now we're talking about golf. That's where we're at.

I mean, this is my favorite episode. We started talking about going to see Jerry Seinfeld. Seeing the whitest men line up. With all your married friends. This is the whitest thing. This is the whitest dad episode. Hey, listen, Nate Bargatze plays golf. I'd love to play with him.

That would be great. We'd get along. We'd have a good time. He talked about, you know, he talks about how his dad, he grew up with his dad as a magician. Oh, yeah. He talked about how he would go to, like, growing up, they would be like carnivals that he would be the magician at.

Yeah. But there would also be a donkey diving from jumping off a high dive. And so he proceeds to describe what it's like for a donkey to go off of a high dive. And you can only imagine what it would be like. And it's like, well, I mean, it's hard to compete with that if you're a magician. Is the point he makes. Yeah, right.

But then when he describes the mechanism of getting a donkey to jump off of a high dive, It's a little forceful. It's a bit cringey. It's a bit uncomfortable. Meaning they did not make the choice. No. They are forced into this.

Yeah. Yeah. And somehow he makes that very funny. You know? Yeah. And not something where you feel sorry for the donkey. You actually feel sorry for his dad. Yeah, that's genius right there.

That's how you do it. Make him feel sorry for his dad. I saw a video of a donkey with a goat in its mouth. It was a goat that had gotten into the wrong part of the farm, and it was a mean donkey that picked this little goat up by its haunch. Oh. Like a hot dog. It was like biting across the back of the goat and then running around with it.

And then they had to get it to drop that goat. And the goat seemed fine after that. Okay, cool. I saw a video of a guy cradling a baby donkey like it was a child. People will cradle a donkey. That is so cute. They're like, you haven't lived

until you've cradled a donkey. A donkey can be a good pet if you know what you're doing. I believe they're really, really intelligent. Yeah, and they'll protect your cows. And have you heard they can high dive as well? Yeah. Yeah, they're not really into it, but they will do it. Dive is a term used very loosely.

They will do it. I wish I remembered his bit so I could be funnier. You got a rec? I do, speaking of funny middle-aged white guys. Keep it going. So you didn't know. Are you following? I had no idea that you were going to talk about that,

and I was going to recommend Conan O'Brien must go. Here we go. All right. We need to put a warning on this episode. Yeah, definitely. Trigger warning. Two white cis male. Yeah, just completely white cis out this whole time.

I'm sorry. I really, really are. Hey, listen, we had to get it out of our system. But I got a little bit more. Conan O'Brien must go. First of all, Conan is funny as hell. Always has been. He's 60 years old now. Still as silly as he's ever been. And he lives in that silliness in a way that... I mean, he's been doing his travel bits on his show.

Right. And that has always been him just being himself and interacting with people. But the premise of the show is like it's an international fan that has talked to him on his podcast and he goes and meets them and kind of gets involved in their life

and does something. And I've only seen the first two. There was like a Norway episode, I think, and then the second episode was Argentina. But that's all you can remember. So funny. I saw the first two as well.

Oh, man. They were both great. The Argentina episode was, he's relentless. Conan is like relentless. Like, he never lets up. Like, if we were trying that hard to be funny, we wouldn't be as funny, A. But, like, I would be like, hey, man, we need to pull it back a little bit. Like, we're going.

Like, he is like, you're just going to put me in this situation, and I'm going to be a fool the whole time. And it's just so great. Kind of makes me think I could go to Germany and get that guy's record. Well, then you'd just be making, well, I can't bite Conan, you know. Okay. But I recommend it. It's just good, good clean... It's actually not that clean in places, but...

It's fine. Good middle-aged white man. Let's rack it up. I did like... I really like the show, also. I will say. And Stevie did, too. I was talking to Stevie about it. She's a lesbian. Yeah.

She loves it. Single people, lesbians? I think Conan might even have a broader appeal than the guys that you mentioned. Oh, okay. Yep. Well, let us have it. Call us. Use hashtag Ear Biscuits, of course, if you you want to do that we'll talk at you next week

appreciate it hi Rhett and Link this is Chelsea calling from Regina Saskatchewan Canada yes you heard that right Regina anyway I was just listening to ear biscuits where you're discussing that people internationally couldn't call in so here's my shot and um hope to hear it on the show thanks so much. Bye.