Erin is the Funny One - Character Debates

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

It’s Prosecco Day on the podcast (aka, every single day) and Jack and Erin are kicking things off with a spirited, honest conversation about panic attacks and anxiety. Next, the dynamic duo is bringing a quiz miss-mash to the table by way of Character Debates…how will this go? Listen to find out! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome back, everyone, to a new episode of the Jack's Films podcast. As always, I'm your host, Jack's Films. Our guest this week is... Are we saying this right? So... Aaron. Pass the line. I'm over it already.

All right. A bit of a demanding... It's Erin. Erin's a bit of a demanding guest, but that's fine. Oh, hey, listeners. You'll be pleased to know we're popping open a new bottle of Prosecco. We had so much fun the last week. We really did.

I think every podcast day should be Prosecco Day. Oh, can we make up like a fake holiday that is Prosecco Day? Holy shit. Hey, listeners, happy Prosecco Day. What should it be? Whatever day you're listening. Should it be like July 11th, like 7-Eleven? Because that's like a fun 7-Eleven.

Oh, no. I was just thinking like weekly Prosecco Day. Why do we have to restrict it to like one day a year? You know what? You're so right. Come on now. This is the only time I'll ever agree with you on something. There you go.

I'll take it. I'll stop at weekly. All right. Now you have a problem. Gross. I can't talk. Aaron's popping the new bottle of Prosecco. There it is.

There we go. All right. That wasn't so bad. Forgive me. Julie Jerkoff. No, it's going to go for Aaron. There is a very small population out there that understands the reference that is Julie Jerkoff.

I hope so. Julie Jerkoff. Forgive me. It's so good. It's a TikTok, right? Or just a video. Oh, no. Well, I got it from Preston and Steve.

Sure. But it was like a viral video of like a graduation ceremony a few years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Someone called someone the wrong name. Obviously calls her Julie Jerkoff. Julie Jerkoff. It's not her name.

It's amazing. Forgive me, Jerkoff. Fill me up. Top me off, please. We got to rate this week's wine of the day. And hey, honey. Yeah. Happy Prosecco Day.

Happy Prosecco Day. Happy second panic attack of the week. Yeah. We got to go into that. I feel like I was struck by lightning or something. I don't know. Is there a trigger warning on this? No, I don't know.

But if so, I'm about to talk about panic attacks, I think. I was diagnosed by two separate coworkers of mine as to like what happened. Yeah. I was not diagnosed. Both professionals in their fields. Right. Yeah. It's also happened yesterday.

Okay. So yesterday I was at a work meeting, like a lunch with a guy that actually used to work at the company that I work for. I've known him for nine years now. I mean, I'm not like super tight with him, but I was like my anxiety level was on the ground. Like it was non-existent. Yeah.

Basically. Okay. So you're going in right, you know, not expecting anything. I had driven out maybe like 30 miles or something to go meet him and a coworker of our lunch and we were sitting at the table. I was probably there for like 15 minutes. We were literally just talking like chit chat, blah, blah, blah, blah, like nothing, like nothing.

And I didn't even realize that this had happened. But like, I kind of like realized after a few seconds that I was like, oh, I haven't really been paying attention to like the conversation. But they were, you know, kind of bouncing back and forth. And I was just kind of sitting on, and I realized I'm like, whoop. Like, I don't even know how to describe it. It was the wildest thing, but it was as if I felt like I was on drugs. That was like my first, I literally, I had, I was drinking iced tea and I looked, I had

had a few sips of the iced tea and I looked at the iced tea and I was like, was it somebody put something in my drink? Cause it felt like all of a sudden you were like kind of like outside of your own body in a way. Like, but like any like, wait, like in a like warped reality time or what? Like underwater almost? Like, no, it was like, I felt like you're on drugs. Like it felt like I've never done like psychedelic drugs, but like, it definitely felt like I

was under the influence of something. And I realized I'm like, I don't know how long it was. I don't know how many seconds I was like quiet for recognizing like, I do not like this feeling at all. I think somebody has drugged my drink. I have no idea what's happening. And so I'm like, maybe if I say something, I'll like snap back into it. So I like, I say something.

It was completely innocuous. Like I just like asked a question to confirm my understanding of what he was saying. And he like looks at me and he was like, yeah, like that's what I said. And I'm like, whoop. Nope. That did not help. Spell not broken. So I immediately I'm like, I'm going to use the restroom.

I'll be right back. I'll go to the restroom and I go into the stall and I'm just bugging hard, man. I'm like, what is going on right now? My heart is racing. I wasn't particularly warm because we were indoors and it was air conditioned quite well. It was at least much nicer inside than I was outside. I'm like, is it the lighting? Cause it had like shitty fluorescent lighting kind of in the restaurant.

Like what is going on? I went from like zero to a hundred like, or like took a total 180 in the matter of like, I don't even know what just happened. It literally felt like I like cracked a bone or something and it like unlocked to this like thing that was like inside of me. I don't know. So anyway, so I'm like, get it together, get it together. Anyway, I go back to the table, which by the way, I talked to my coworker today and I told

her like what happened because I was like, did you notice like, was I okay? Was I cool? Cause I tried to play it off. And like, she's like, yeah, I did. I thought something might have been off, but I thought maybe you just had like another meeting to get due because I could tell like at the end of the lunch, you were like antsy or whatever. And like kept fidgeting and like trying to, sorry, I got to go. I got it.

I got to go, but it was like an hour and a half. So it wasn't like that long, but it was fucking torturous the whole time. So anyway, I thought I was in the bathroom for like five minutes, which I'm like, yeah, I'm a normal person. I was in the bathroom for a normal amount of time. She told me today. She was like, you were in the bathroom for a while. And I was like, really?

I had no. What's a while? I don't know. I have no idea. To be fair, by the time I got out of the bathroom, the food was on the table. So I don't know. Don't you love when that happens though? Yeah, it was.

I literally even said, I was like, oh, perfect timing. Look at that. But it was wild. And so you and I had stayed up late the night before. Yep. I have recently in the last like two or three weeks just started taking a spirulactone for hormonal acne, which is a drug that I have previously taken for a number of years that worked really, really well.

I never had any negative side effects on it, but it is a diuretic. So you do have to drink up. Yeah. Drink a lot of fluids. And I had not. So I was like, you know what? I was probably just dehydrated. But like, man, dude, as soon as the lunch was over, I called Jack and I was like, I don't

know, man. Am I having a stroke? Am I having? I don't even know. Yeah. Brain tumor. I think I have a brain tumor. I don't know.

And what was weird was last night, I did come home yesterday and I took a little bit of a nap, but I didn't sleep very well at all last night. I had like four hours of sleep. I just wasn't tired. Like I couldn't go to bed. And I did have this like fear of it happening again. Cause it was so out of left field. There was no way I could have prepared for it.

It was so frightening. And then I was at work today. I had a number of zoom calls. I was in the office. Everybody was there. There was a big crowd today and I was doing a presentation at like 11 a.m. And I literally thought to myself, fortunately I had co-presenters and I had written out every single one of my talking points.

So it was fine. But like I thought to myself, wow, I'm so glad that what happened yesterday isn't happening right now. And it wasn't even five seconds later that all of a sudden, and I'm like, oh my God, it's happening again. What is this? So I'm like, I stand up and me mom on zoom, fortunately I have a standing desk at work. So like I like stand up and they can only see the top like from my shoulders and head.

I like undo my shoes. I am like chugging water cause I'm like, oh my God, what is happening right now? Right. And so I don't know how else to describe it except following it. So fortunately that episode only lasted like an hour. And then I did, I drove home and I came home for lunch, but I still feel it. I don't know how else to describe it except it legitimately feels like my entire body was like struck by lightning.

Like everything is kind of like, it doesn't feel good. And now I am going to have like a lifelong fear of this fucking thing. Just like creeping, creeping, ding, ding. Did you forget about me? Here I am. I'm that weird little feeling that makes you feel like you're on drugs in the middle of a work day. Wouldn't it be so humiliating if you fainted right now?

Anyway, so that's what I've been doing the last few days. Well, we're going to try a few things. We're going to go to sleep earlier. We're going to try to go to sleep longer. Well, I'm going to now I'm going to drug myself with nightquill or whatever. It's easy, easy quill and see if that helps because I just was not tired. But like that's the weirdest thing and I wasn't tired at all today. So I was working on four hours of sleep and I wasn't even tired.

And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. It's weird. So yeah, weird. Yeah, it was weird. Weird. Not way. No, not way.

No, I do. Okay. So I'm going to, I guess experiment with the truth will set you free. And so I'm like, you know what, because a lot of the fear that I, it was having while it was going on was, oh my God, everybody's going to think I'm a freak. Like this is freakish what I'm feeling. And if I try to describe it, they're going to think I'm crazy. And I think the only thing, so I had two, two coworkers when I was describing to them

what happened, they were like, they had both experienced something similar. Right. And they both said that, that they believed that to be a panic attack. And the one was like, oh, you definitely like dug yourself into a hole today by thinking about it. Like they, he was basically like, oh, you made that happen to yourself, which is like fine. I have no idea how this works.

But I think what could also, I'm going to try if it happens again, is that I'm just going to be super open and honest with people. I think I hope fucking Christ. I hope that my, I have some control over it and say like, sorry, I'm literally in the middle of a panic attack right now. We're going to try to work through this one together. Yeah. No, I think.

I have no idea. It is the worst fucking if you literally feel like you're either going to fall on the ground or die or that you're having a stroke. Like I, even on the way home last night, driving home, I was thinking to myself, I was thinking about is this a stroke and I couldn't even get the words out in my head. I don't know. It was so fucked up. Anyway.

Cheers to Prosecco. Yeah. Scary, scary couple of days there, but yeah. My therapist did say, I told her about it yesterday because I was telling her like, I actually feel pretty good. I used to live with like a really big pit, kind of like, I would pack it in my lunchbox every day and we'd go to work together. No, but I kind of like always learned to live with like this weird stupid pit in my belly

of anxiety all the time. And I've actually, I thought like, oh, I think I've actually gotten better at that. I don't have that constant state. So the fact that this has come around, I'm like, well, what the fuck is that? I'd rather have the pit because then I at least know like what to do with it. I guess you can't always have the pit. What the fuck? I guess the pit's out to play.

That's stupid. It's not Halloween yet pit. All right. You can't dress up like somebody else. So anyway, my therapist said that because I hadn't eaten. I hadn't really drank many fluids. I hadn't had a good night's sleep. It is possible that my body, even though my brain wasn't feeling stressed, that my body

was stressed and it was sending signals saying like, Hey neighbor, remember that meat suit that you live inside? We need some TLC. And so if you could do that, that'd be fun. So I don't know. So that's our theory, but I talked to her yesterday before today's. So I still like that theory. I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know. So we're going to stop taking the spirit of lactone. Yeah. I don't know. We're going to have to try some things out, I think. We'll get to the bottom of it. We're not.

I don't know. Anywho's there. Jack, what do you think of the Prosecco? You should try it. I like it. I don't know. I think I'm just a Prosecco boy. Yeah.

It's nice. It's a little on the sweeter side. That's probably why I like it. Then I think I'd prefer. But it's fine. Yeah. It is something you'd like. Okay.

So this puppy, it's got a sunflower on the label. What's it called? It's called Tiamo. Hmm. What does that mean, Jack, Phil? I love you. I love you. And I have no idea what it means.

I think it does mean I love you. Yeah. It says it's made with organic grapes, but it's funny because it's not an organic wine. I wonder why. Like, I wonder why. Interesting. You know what I mean? They legally can't call it that.

Yeah. Like, I wonder what that's about. Sorry. It is from our friends in Italia and it is 11% alcohol. Let's see what our friends on the Vivino app have to say about it. So the sticker price on that bad boy is a $14.99. I'm sure on Vivino it's, you know, under four bucks. Yes.

$7. Yes. But I'm a fan. I've had worse here on this show. I might give it four Jacks out of five. It's really an offensive as far as Prosecco's go. Okay. So this has a 3.8 out of five on Vivino.

Average price, $16.49. Oh my God. We actually got a bargain. I know. Holy shit. Holy shit. I never saw that coming. Yeah, it's okay.

I'm going to give this one like a five out of 10. Oh boy. Okay. Yeah. That is very middling for you. It's pretty sweet. So honey. Yes.

For the meat of this week's podcast, I kind of did a little mishmash of previous podcast ideas we've done. So that's weird because I feel like you don't remember any of the things that we've done on this podcast. Well, no, I don't. I had to look. I had to literally go to Spotify and look up like old, oh no, I don't remember what I had for breakfast today, let alone what we've done.

So I go back. I have a little mixture here. So before I explain, let me, I'm giving Aaron. This is where all the bowls went. Yeah. Okay. I'm giving her a bowl. Oh, that's my name.

He's giving me a bowl that literally says Aaron on it. That's cute. And I have a bowl that says Jack on it and I'll put it on my side here at the desk. And then between us, we have a large bowl labeled topics. So I was inspired because I remember we did debate night. And I think we even did debate night twice on the podcast, I believe. Oh, I don't even, I don't remember that. Okay.

Oh boy. Yeah. We've also done impressions from a bowl where we would just, you know, we have. Pull out a name and do the impression. So I thought, oh, what a merry idea it would be. Oh, oh, so merry here on Aaron is the funny one to combine these two ideas. And instead of like having a prepared list of debate topics, I don't know what we're going to debate.

So what I've done is each of us, we each have a bowl of nine different names. These are like celebrities, characters, fictional characters, whatever. You have nine names. I have nine different names in my bowl. And then between us, we have a bowl of topics. I won't reveal what they are. They're typical debate topics. But what I would like us to do is we each randomly draw a name from our respective bowls.

And then one of us will randomly draw out a topic. And then we have to argue for our person to be the victor of this debate topic. Okay. Does that make sense? Not really. That's fine. Okay. Why don't you go first?

Why don't you draw a name? Okay. So I draw a name. Yes. All right. So I'm going to draw a name. Do I read the name aloud? Yes, please.

Okay. All right. You know what? No, no, I'm sorry. I think it's funnier. Let me get the topic first. Okay. I think this is, I think this will be a funnier reveal.

I'm sorry. Okay. I didn't look at it yet. So I didn't even, I didn't even see who I pulled. Okay. I think this will be much funnier. So the topic is for our first question, who should be saved from the zombie apocalypse? Okay.

So Aaron, why don't you read the name you just drew? Okay. Oh dear. Oh dear. And I have to. You have to. Jesus. Lord.

Okay. All right. My, the person that should be saved from the zombie apocalypse is, oh, this is easy. Violet Crawley. Dame Maggie Smith from Downton Abbey. Damn it. That's a good one. That's a delight.

I better pick a good name then. So I can justify saving this person from the zombie apocalypse. Oh fuck. I have Florida man. He created the zombie, the zombie virus that took over the world. Maybe, but that's fine. You know why? You know what?

He can end it. If anyone can, it's Florida man. He can withstand anything. He's done everything. He's an experienced man. I'd say he's even more experienced than a Dame Maggie Smith. No, no, no, no, no. And I think he can, he can reverse the zombie apocalypse.

That's why we need to save him because he has withstood all the bath salts and all of the outlandish. He has consumed many products, you know, both edible and inedible. He's not afraid of the law. This guy Florida man. You know what? You're right. He's not afraid of the law.

He will break into the high tech security and steal the antidote that the scientist will keep from us to absolve the zombie apocalypse. We agree that the Florida man was the person who created the zombie virus in the first place. Correct? Yeah. You know, for argument's sake, absolutely. He was.

Okay. So I'm pretty sure that in order to end it, we need to end the creator of it. And so it has to come full circle. No. He needs to, it's kind of like, it's like Lord of the Rings or something. Like he needs to jump into the pit of fire in order to cure the zombie virus. They must consume the creator. And I say creator with a capital C.

As well. Obviously. Yes. Well, this, okay. So you're, you're less justifying. No, no, no, no, no. There's a duality here. Okay.

I'm more just shitting on Florida man. I'm not shitting on him. I'm saying we need to, he needs to sacrifice himself. There's a difference. Okay. He is a hero. And yeah, he needs to do it for humanity. Now, now, now let's get, let's get to Maggie Smith.

Okay. So Maggie Smith, first off, she has been like a hundred years old for the last 50 years. Okay. Yeah. So you know what they say about old people? What's that Aaron? They're hella wise. And what do we, what did we learn from Herschel in the walking dead?

The man was hella wise. He lasted like many seasons. Herschel? Yeah. I'm pretty sure he did. And yeah. No, he did. I think he lasted like two seasons.

But he died of natural causes. That's also natural. Yeah, it is. Yes, it is. Dude got beheaded. I'm pretty sure he got fucking beheaded or something. He died. That was natural cause.

Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. Go on. It was a freak accident. That's how that happened. So anyway, we need people who can think, they can think, she may not be the most agile, but she can use her life experience and, and, all right, not only that, she has friends in high places, one, she knows the queen, okay, cause she's a dame and I'm pretty sure

that's how that works. And she was in, you'll remember this movie, hook starring Robin Williams, oh, she was, wasn't she? She was also 100 years old. She was. Okay. She was. And so she has been to Neverland.

She knows how to fucking fly. I always forget about her. Okay. She knows how to fly. She knows how we can escape. She has the best escape plan cause like fuck Mars, Elon Musk. We're going to fucking Neverland. Okay.

Not only, not only do they not have a zombie virus in Neverland, but you also don't age. So it's kind of like the zombie virus, except you're not a zombie in that like the zombies are dead, but undead, but in Neverland, you're kind of dead, but you're young forever. I don't think Dave Maggie Smith ever found Neverland. No, but she knows the way because she's been there herself because she fell in love and had children instead. Did you not see hook? I just don't trust her.

Do you not know? Well, I don't trust her. How do you not trust Maggie Smith? I don't know where Neverland is. She's like, well then, man, Dame, why weren't you there? Cause she came back cause she realized that she wanted to be a human. A likely story. Sure.

She wanted to be a human, but if there were a zombie virus and apocalypse going on, I bet you should change your fucking mind. If she ever said that, I'd say fellas, get a straight jacket. Whereas I'm getting a PJ and I'm going to Neverland straight there. I'm sorry, what? A PJ? Do you don't know a PJ? No.

Private jet. Oh, sorry. That's what they call them. I'm not rich like you. I don't, I don't know the lingo. How do you not know this? Oh, it's like that Jack Harlow song PJ. Yeah.

Is that a thing? No. Oh, I just found out who Jack Harlow was. So like, do you see that he's beefing with Brandi now? Or at least Brandi's beefing with Jack Harlow. I did not see that. I didn't know that we, that would even register on anybody's radar. It was like trending today for a hot second.

Brandi? Fucking Brandi. Yeah. Ray J Brandi? Yeah. Yeah. Really? Why?

Well, well, Jack Harlow didn't like, he was on some radio show and this is really relevant to debate night, but he's on some radio show. Oh, and they're like playing a song for him, a Brandi song. And they're like, who is this? Cause they're making fun of like how young he is cause he's like what 24 or something like that. Dude, I just found out he exists. So I don't know.

I think he's young. And he's like, I don't know. And so they're like, well, here's a clue. Uh, she has a famous brother. Oh my God. And he, he was like, yeah. He didn't know, he didn't know that Ray J and Brandi were siblings. If he hasn't seen.

And apparently Brandi took huge offense to that and made a fucking diss track. You don't know who I am. About Jack Harlow. She pulled a Reese Witherspoon. A little bit. Wow. Yeah. And I think the funny thing is Jack gives a shit.

He's like, all right, shit. No, but like, isn't that embarrassing? How can you ever assume? Yeah. That's what it is. It's assuming like, you don't know me. Yeah. How could you ever assume that people?

She's 20s. Like, no. Yeah. Anyways. That's kind of sad. You're taking it out of context and that there's more to that story than, than you realized or didn't reveal. But right now it sounds a little egotistical.

Uh, yeah. It all sounds like Florida man. Handily won this one. Can you be honest though? Be honest. And I know that we have to like stand up for the people that we like pulled out of the bucket or whatever. But like, I won't tell them.

Don't filter, filter off. Yeah. Turn the mic off. Turn the mic off. You know that Maggie Smith should, should survive. Right. That we need to save her. I think Florida man's the wild card and he hasn't made the best choices in his

life, but he's made the, he makes the bold ones. You know, okay. So you guys ever, if you've ever seen the original, everybody knows what a catfish is. Yeah. And the show catfish, whatever. But if you've never seen the original movie catfish and where the term catfish came from, I think about that all the time.

Like, yeah. All the time. And they were like, I think it was like ling cod or like cod or something. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, you know, in a, you know, you catch a bunch of cod or whatever. And they put a catfish in there with the cod. And it was like, why?

He's like, cause it keeps them, keeps the cod agile. It keeps them on their toes because they have to watch out for the catfish. So the catfish is always keeping you on your toes. And so it was like the guy, the OG catfish is like husband that like called her like she keeps me on my toes. Cause you know, she's out there like having fake relationships with people. Anyway, to be fair, Florida man is like the OG catfish in the sense of like, he does keep you on your toes.

You never know what he's going to do next. You never know. Insert verb noun here. He's done it. He's done it all. But for a zombie apocalypse, we need strategy and thought and Florida man, not great with that. He's great at spontaneity, but we need a strategist and that strategy comes

with wise old people such as day Maggie Smith. End of story. Well, I got the old part right. All right. Listeners. Hey, I have a, she's beautiful by the way. I have an idea instead of us like decreeing a victor saying like, I won that. No, I won that.

I want our listeners to decide for us to decide too. So guys, feel free to call or text us at our hotline dad hug me 10 DAD H U G M E one zero dad hug me 10 and let us know via text or voicemail. Who do you think won these debates? Did I win the Maggie Smith debate? Because we love Dame Maggie Smith. Who would, who do you want to keep alive? You know, in the zombie apocalypse, Florida man or Dame Maggie Smith?

Who, who argued it better? And who do you think has access to a PJ Maggie, Maggie Smith? Who knows the queen? Oh, you're telling me Florida man doesn't know a guy. Florida man does not know a guy. Florida man's like crawled into like the luggage compartment on a Southwest flight and that's his way of like, it works. No, all the Southwest pilots got eaten in the zombie apocalypse.

The queen is barricaded in a castle. Well, I don't think I want to be on the queen side. Look, Aaron, let's call it a draw. Let's each pick out a name. Let's do the names first this time. Let's reveal what our names are first and then the topic. Okay. All right.

Once you read yours first. I picked up two by accident. Okay. All right. Well, it's not okay. The rock. Oh, I know him. Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

That's right. That's a good eyebrow. And certain vine boom sound effect. The rock versus my pick. Any of the avatars from avatar. Nice. I love Jake Sully. Okay.

Look at you. Is that his name? I think that's his name. Okay. I'm picking the topic. Okay. The topic is who should get their own superhero movie. Oh, yeah.

I've, what have I said for years? I've always said, I've always said Jake Sully should get his own spin off. Marvel movie. I've been saying that for. What are his superpowers? Uh, super strength, super good looking and super blue. Period. You forgot about that weird tail pony tail.

Can fuck you with this tail or whatever. Pony tail or something. Right. You know, oh yeah. It's a hair tail. I think it is. And he like connects it to his horse tail too. And like they like have weird.

But then they like, they can fly. They can fly. They can fly. They can fly. It's like, well, it's their USB port. They just plug it into animals and then they just are one with the animal. Isn't it weird that they still call like electrical components male and female? It's a little dated Aaron.

If you ask me. It's just like, I always felt uncomfortable with that. Like always like, ooh, it is very graphic. It's like, all right. Yeah. We get it. Once he, anyone's the Audi. Okay.

We get it. Speaking of how pumped are you for four more pornographic avatar movies? I am so pumped. Do you think, okay. And I'm not trying to predict anybody's death and I'm not wishing harm on anybody. But do you think James Cameron will still be alive when the last avatar movie comes out? I think so. I don't think he's that old.

I mean, he's in his seventies. I think he's a. It took them 10 years. Isn't it 10 years old now? Over. It came out in 09. I mean, it took him 10 years to even get to the second one. But he's an adventurous boy.

How many is he looking to do? Five? Five total. So four more. I don't know, man. What are you going to be like? You know what? He's got James Cameron money.

If he doesn't blow it all on more Titanic visits and shit. He loves his Titanic visits though. He may have cracked that cryogenic code where like, he's like, he, instead of like being fully cryogenically frozen, he gets like cryogenic infusions every day. So he's like slowly cryogenically freezing himself. Oh, there's an idea. And that way he, you know, I did hear at one point, like people who have like heart attacks. Sometimes they like literally put their bodies on ice and then they can like resuscitate

them because like the, but the heart attack was like, Oh man, I'm fucking butchering the shit out of this. But like. What are you saying? I saw this rescue 911 episode where there was a guy who had a heart attack, but he was in a snowstorm, but it ended up being, and he was frozen to death basically, but it was the heart attack that killed him and, and they found him in the freezing snow, but he, they were able to resuscitate him because he was in the snow.

It like froze his body. It was like a cryogenic, like it stopped the body and then like they brought him back to life. Is rescue 911 real or like a fictionalized? No, it was real. Okay. It was real. I didn't know.

Also, this thing where they literally will like cover you in ice to like stop your body from working for a little bit and then it can bring you back to life. So that's secret and mortality then. I think so. That was easy. So anyway, James Cameron figured that out. He has a personal nurse that comes and injects cryogenic fusions. You kind of like, you kind of argued my point for me because I would consider James Cameron

one of the avatars from Avatar. He should be, he should get his own superhero movie. No, so here's the thing. Cause he lasts forever. Here's the thing. This is the secret. And if they, Holly weird doesn't want the truth to come out. And so thus they need superhero movies to be unrealistic, but just so like they can't,

they can't show James Cameron's cryogenics on film because then people are going to start getting ideas and they're going to start figuring his secrets out. And so they need, what they need is a man who's like 500 pounds of muscle who eats 7,000 calories every day of just egg whites and chicken breast. 17,000 calories. And he, yeah. And he, and he works out and on like literally an unfathomable amount, but it's real enough that people won't question it.

And so thus the rock gets his own superhero movie. And he plays himself. Duh. Who else would he play? He's the rock bitch. I mean, he's getting his own black out of movie. I don't know what that is. Not really either.

I think it's a villain. He could also play Maui. Oh, right? I would watch a Maui superhero movie. Disney plus would. They'd give him a fucking Maui series. And he sings too. Not well, but he sure does.

Oh, I thought it was cute enough. I love that movie. Okay. Hold on. Back to the avatars, but their hairtails though. I think that. No, no. I think that we shouldn't have an avatar superhero movie because

there is a sub genre subpopulation of people that believe that Pandora is real. Oh yeah. I said Pangea Pandora Pandora is real. And thus we cannot continue spreading misinformation into the world. Thus we should not have an avatar superhero movie. And yet you want to propagate the harm. How many refrigerators do you think the rock has more than five?

You need a lot to like, you know, store all the, all of his meal prepped, you know, chicken cut the cutlets. Do you think that he has a trainer or do you think he knows working out so well that he doesn't need a trainer? I'll bet he has a trainer. I'll bet he has. Well, like who does he go to to keep him accountable for his like shit? There's no way a studio would just leave it up to an actor.

Right? No, right. You wouldn't think you wouldn't think you pay someone to make sure they show up at 5am, et cetera. I don't know. I mean, then again, it's about drive. It is about power. Oh yeah.

He does devour. I never heard the full version of that song. It's it's only it's only decent for his verse because it's just it's not a great rap, but it's very meme worthy. Like there's a reason it was memed on. I wonder where he recorded that. Like was it in his bedroom? I was going to say probably in his kitchen.

They didn't the lights. They turn on the smoke machine and they turn on the laser lights. And they're like, done. Shoot it. I have to get back to the gym, boys. Okay. So once again, I win, right? Listeners.

Let us know who debated the better topic. I think I win. Are you going to do one more? Yeah. One more. Okay. So name first. This is fun, right?

I would do this again. This is so fun. I really like this. I kind of want you to add more names. Oh, I will. Yeah. I crumpled them up so tightly. Oh, no.

Oh, oh, you'll like this. All right. Oh, no. I have the Dumbledore Aaron hates. How did you put your name in the goblet of fire? I have Pete Davidson. All right. Well, we don't know what the topic is.

Why don't you do the honors and figure out what we're debating. All right. We are debating. Shit. Let's go. Who is more problematic? Wait. So are we arguing?

Oh, shit. Pete Davidson is more problematic or am I saying he's not? Oh, like your guy is more problematic. I think just to stay consistent. I think we each have to argue why our own person is more problematic than the other. You go first. I want to hear about why you think the second Dumbledore in the

Dumbledore Harry Potter movies is more problematic than Pete Davidson. He went against everything. J.K. Rowling wanted him to be. What? Rowling. What? The way that he screamed Harry, did you put your name in the

goblet of fire? When even though in the fourth book, it's very clear. He says calmly asked. All right. The book says he calmly asked that to Harry. And I think it's rather disgusting what Rowling did. Also. Wait, what?

No, it's disgusting what he did. That's what I, that's what I, sorry. Yeah. It's disgusting what? Sorry. The Prosecco. Disgusting that you haven't even had any. So that's that must be it.

I'm disgusting. Oh, yeah. Oh, but never mind. You have. You've drank your whole glass. Yeah. Of course. No.

So the way that he butchered that line, he's very problematic. Also Dumbledore's relationship with Grendelwald, highly problematic because Grendelwald is all about like the muggle holocaust and Dumbledore associated with that. So that's no good. And he knew the whole time that a Snape was good. And, you know, to the reader, he could have communicated that with us way earlier than, you know.

Yeah. He really set Snape up to look like a bad guy. And he set Snape up. And he didn't care. And he was like, I don't care. You have to kill me. Severus, please. Yes.

Like what a disgusting human being Dumbledore is. Disgusting. Specifically the one you hate. Yeah. Disgusting. All right. So why is Pete Davidson problematic? I think he's fine.

He's great. All right. Let's go. Let's hear him. Pete Davidson. Okay. First and foremost, he confuses the fuck out of me and he should confuse the fuck out of all of you.

Yeah. But confusing is not problematic. Yes, it is. You're an Aaron Burr. You sway whichever way the wind blows. That's not good. What do you stand for? What do you fall for?

He's not Aaron Burr. What the hell are you talking about? Yes. Yes. Yes. Because he plays it like he's a cool down earth fellow. Uh-huh. And he states some of the most problematic people there are.

Like who? And so right now, do you even know who's dating right now? Yeah. How is she problematic? Have you ever been on her Instagram? Yes. Have you seen the body images that issues that she portrays? They filter every single one of their photos and make their die hard

fans and like viewers and these young impressionable girls. And by the way, myself included. Myself included feel as though they are subpar and need these literal surgical enhancements in order to be beautiful or whatever they're talking. You're telling me she got surgery to look like that? They also portray like this, this disgusting image of like wealth and it makes people who cannot afford that wealth probably spend

beyond their means in order to like look like they have that wealth because they feel like they need it in order to like resemble this Kardashian lifestyle and culture. So I'm hearing a lot of talk about Kim Kardashian being problematic, but I don't remember that being the topic. Well, how about that time that he dated? Uh, how about, oh, how about this? How about this?

How about what? How about this? He was dating Kazi David, who is Larry David's daughter. Who, you know, I love Larry David. I love, I love me some Larry David and they were dating for like, I'm going to butcher this guy's bear with me. They were dating for like two years or something and Kazi broke up with him.

I don't know why, but she did. And then like two days later or something, like not long after max two weeks, but I want to say it was days after she calls him and she's like, I want to get back together or whatever. And he's like, nah, I'm good. And then literally like a day later, it's publicly announced. He is in a relationship with Ariana Grande. You cannot tell me that he was not cheating on her at the end of

the relationship because there's no way that they, the timelines don't add up. Well, she dumped him. Is that what you said? Yes. But it, but he was cheating on her. No. Most likely he, it is, it is probably like him cheating on her.

Maybe. Wow. So your whole basis for this topic is he might have cheated. Yes. And how about this? There was that other time he stated Kate Beckinsale and they like tongue kissed like at a basketball game and got all the photographers take pictures of it.

It was disgusting. And my eyes will never unsee it. Were they together? Yeah. Wow. Wow. It was gross. Normally.

It was disgusting. I was going to say listeners go ahead and, you know, tell us who think won, but uh, Guys, tell me other, give me other reasons why Pete Davidson is problematic. I think I ran away with this one. No, those reasons sucked honey. And you're usually the queen of debates.

Well, to be fair, I don't think he's like that bad of a guy, but like, so I know, I know you got to pretend, but like those were shit reasons. He is also on SNL and the SNL is not funny anymore. So how about that? Very true. I won't argue that. Yeah.

So though this past weekend was his last episode, but because he was on SNL and it was his last episode, I'm sure he's quitting probably because he needs to be paging all over the world with Kim Kardashian. Remember Kim Kardashian was going all those fucking vacations as though she didn't live in a 50 bajillion dollar mansion and was like, oh, the pandemic. It was like, bitch, shut up. Oh, I shouldn't say that.

Sorry, but it did make me very, it made me really, really pissed off as people who didn't leave their fucking house or see anybody for months on end. That really pissed me off. And to be associated with that is disgusting to me. So it hits deep. Okay. Point Jack, Phil.

You'll get him next time, babe. Hey, I thought we were leaving it up to the audience to vote. We, well, yeah, that's what I'm politely saying, but you know. Yeah. All right. So let's, I say we leave it there for now. We can come back to this perhaps in a future week because I have, I made nine of everything, nine names per bowl and nine debate topics.

So I would like to come back to this at some point because we. I would love that too. I would also like to add some topics and add some names. Yeah, I'm very open to that. Please make it more complicated. Make it a, yeah. Is it time already? I'm hearing something.

I don't know if it's my headphones or the skies. I think we are now solidly in Gemini season. Oh, thank God. Yeah. This episode's actually, I think it'll be released on Memorial Day. Right. Oh, I think you're right. So long as they don't have like a delayed upload, but.

Take my hand. Lest we channel for the Gemini's. They're so demanding. They are. We better. There's two of them. So it's kind of like, you feel, you feel like you're like backed into a corner by a double album.

Two people like barking in your face, you know. It's a bit much. Maybe this is why I've been having panic attacks. Thanks a lot. Gemini's you fucked up my wife. Too much pressure. Gemini. Gemini.

This week, you will play a new song that sounds like David Copperfield. This song will strum along. You remember when David Copperfield had a alien come on stage. That was awesome. Anyways, I just thought about it. Tomorrow, you won't get your COVID test back. But you might have herpes. Yay.

Please try to protect your penis. Okay. I think that Gemini's are so duplicitous and nutritious. A horoscope that helps nobody and everybody. Grab that dick up. You might have herpes. Yeah. Hey, you heard it from the gods.

We just channel what they tell us. You've also don't shoot the messenger. I heard that you can infect people with COVID through having unprotected mouths. Ha, get it. And noses. Ha, get it. I do, honey. Yeah.

Mask up. Everybody is COVID right now. Yeah. Honestly, I feel I'm actually a little pissed off. We got it when we did because right now everybody has it and our, I know somebody who had it in January and they have it again now. And so I'm like, fuck, our immunity is only going to last so many months. We got it in like what?

Late April? We got it April 15th. Oh, mid April. Shit. Yeah. We're on day, today's like day 40. Exactly. Anywho, a problem to solve later listeners.

Thank you very much for tuning into this week's episode of Aaron is the funny one. Make sure to text me at dad hug me 10. I'm the one that reads the hotline. I want to hear you tell me that I want all the debates. Thank you so much in advance. Yeah. Give her some pity points. She needs it because her debating was lacking tonight.

And my brain is hurting lately. Oh yeah. Chock it up to the sad brain. Chock it up to sad brain. Sad broken brain. Hey, I've been asking for a lobotomy for fucking years now. That is true. Years I've been asking for a lobotomy.

Well, your birthday is coming up. It is. You've got, you've got exact excuse you. And chips having a hacking attack. Well, until next time haters. I told you to wrap that up.