Erin is the Funny One - Debate Night

Episode Date: August 16, 2021

In this episode Jack and Erin go head to head on all the big issues. Erin pleads her case for the best romcom ever and Jack goes to the mattresses to prove that Android is the supreme phone choice. Leo season comes to an end and a vineyard is given a chance at redemption. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Oh, hey everyone welcome back to another episode of Aaron isn't the funny one I'm your boy Jack Douglas and with me as always by contractual obligation is my wife Aaron The disrespect we're gonna start it off. We're gonna start it off like that that in every other time I hope yes, I don't even know how I got here. How did I get here? I was tricked into this. It's ridiculous But and then and then to my tricks I get here. And what do you know? I'm disrespected off the bat. I should have known I am the definition of crazy in the sense that I will never Learn from my repeated mistakes. Actually, that's insanity get your nouns, right? Insanity it's insanity the definition of insanity saying a noun. Nope

That's a that's an adjective. So insanity is the noun. Yes, crazy Be both crazy give me an Exactly, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, exactly. You're full of it. Yeah Thanks so much for having me today on your podcast Jack. Oh, you're welcome Aaron. It's good to have you Yeah, it's great to be here. I invited a friend of mine. His name is incel Andy He literally said is Jack film gonna be there and I said he might be and he's like, I don't care Whatever the odds are I'm not coming if he's gonna be there. I guess we're not gonna see incel Andy then well at least not this week Spoiler alert. Yeah, come on. Don't give it all away for future weeks

Listeners forget you heard that forget you heard that alright just for the the the premise of surprise here But yeah, it's another episode. I think this is the eighth episode it is Lucky number eight. Oh Joe. Well, actually so get this hmm actually on Eight eight it was apparently a super special day where you could like Think about things and manifest the life of your the life of your dreams or something I don't know Tick-tock sent me into this algorithm that was all about the Lions gate eight eight shit That was like if you think about things on eight eight they will happen for you manifest the life of your dreams

Well, you know what I did on eight eight is that I woke up at the crack of dawn after like three hours of sleep And I was like think good thoughts think good thoughts and then because I was thinking good thoughts I was like wait. Why are you thinking good thoughts? You're trying to hide the bad thoughts, aren't you trying to hide the bad thoughts and then like the bad thoughts creep in and you're like No, no stop if I think bad thoughts, they're gonna manifest in the bad things So anyway, the eighth episode this is the Lions gate portal While you're listening to this manifest the life of your dreams Don't think about bad things and definitely don't think about the things that you aren't thinking about

Don't do that But I think the windows pass because this this is well after the 8th of August We are sorry we are vessels the Lions gate portal has shut off and sealed itself off From our dimension we are the vessels to the gods and to the planets and to the universe, you know what? You're right. We are the vessels. We're the vessels. We're good goddamn vessels. We are the Lions Gatekeep, okay damn and I like that I Have the keys to the castle and if I want to open up that gate then I do and so manifest it manifest it guys

Why all your fourth dog? It's manifest. Oh While you are listening with us today manifest the life of your dreams Manifest off off manifest stop. Don't eat that drop it So I'm just practicing. Do you think manifest would be delivered from the gods? It would have to be because it's such a godly name Imagine if chipwitch was like delivered from the gods that would actually be hilarious like why does she was though? Why does she eat her poop then like what is that about? Is it that like the the mana the mana is that what they call it? The life force you mean the God's bread. Yeah, I think it's like God's bread. Isn't that what mana is?

I've never heard of God's bread, but I know that mana is kind of this term for like earth spiritual energy Oh, I thought Well, maybe it is in some context, but I'm not familiar with that one. Yeah, also, I'm sure you're wrong Maybe but either way Welcome to the Welcome to this week's Manifest dude, you're way better than this like Ernie chick. I usually have fun. I don't know who you are But damn Ernie just is my social media manager. She just like runs that would explain it Twitter and yeah, no

She sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no personality. No, none. It's enough to brain cells to bash together. Yeah Yeah, what is with you keep saying that's like you keep saying that to like describe like the dogs Apparently Ernie has now made it into that category, but you're all about the no two brain cells I heard that I'll tell you that came from like middle school or high school. What are my teachers? Doesn't have two cents to rub together or something like that never about me No, because I was a genius. That was a prodigy But that just always cracks me up the two cents to rub together saying racked you up. Yeah, really That was funny. I still think it's funny. Why is that funny?

The thought of it the thought of someone not having two brain cells. Wait, but he said sense But you well, yeah, I mean like that that term too. It's applicable in multiple scenarios Honey, have you tried this? I Will said I'll be perfectly honest. I did pregame this with a can of truly. Oh, we couldn't tell wow The dude for a sec. Also our wine of the week is a bottle of Chardonnay specifically honey Guys last week we had a Chardonnay tragedy. That's right. Tell us about it, honey you the funeral music. It was horrific actually a

$30 something bottle of wine that tasted like grass clippings. There's a death in the family and Kalman your it was quite awful and very very upsetting That you can have a bad bottle of wine who knew This week we celebrate the life of that bottle of wine Raise your glasses a toast a toast because it turns out that we buried that glass of wine in the pet cemetery And it's come back to life and it's evil. It has come. No. Well. Well, it's different. Oh, okay, okay? Well, tell us about it. I'm not gonna say it's evil, but it is different. What are we drinking? We are doing a retry of stag's leap wine cellars and I will say when we went to the grocery store to pick out the

Replacement bottle of wine that came from last week's. I found out that apparently there are two different types of stag's leap Chardonnay there is apparently a Sub brand sub label, whatever you want to call it this one that we have been drinking both last week and this week is the stag's leap wine cellars Karya Chardonnay K. A. R. I. A. It is a 2019 Chardonnay from Napa Valley and Good year. I've got to tell you that I was right in my assessment because this wine Does not taste like grass clippings Nor cow manure not even close not a sniff nor a whiff of the grass nor the manure if you will

I will say and I hate to admit that you're right, but it does taste different It tastes different even I and as you know if even I can tell the difference then it's probably a Significant Improvement an upgrade in quality. Yeah, so the last bottle that we had gotten and no hate, but just being no hate fully Just full disclosure We had bought it at Trader Joe's and then this bottle of wine we did get at Vaughns So I don't know bad batches I have no idea, but what I will tell you is that this Chardonnay is much more delicious and

Actually palatable than the one that we had last week, which was Horrific you didn't have enough bad things to say about the wine last week You just kept going to grass clippings and cow manure and more grass clippings Okay, so let me describe what this wine tastes like please in your own words Aaron What does this wine taste like she's sipping she's swirling she's considering it's broad Mmm, it's broad broad like a cow Velvety and velvety never heard that word used to describe a wine not tart, but not oaky You don't find this oaky not oaky

Creamy maybe Creamy for sure cuz a good Chardonnay if it's not oaky. It's usually creamy. It's not if it's not one It's usually the other the coloring is that of Somebody somebody whose urine is well hydrated. It is it's not too yellow. It's not too yellow at all That's disgustingly correct It's not gonna stop me from drinking the wine, but like I really don't like how on point you are with that one I would call this individual well hydrated. Would you not don't don't hold it up and call it this individual? I wouldn't say they're over hydrated or like super hydrated cuz it's not like clear sure, but just enough

They're not drinking too many energy drinks, I'll say that yes. Oh my gosh Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes, but so what I would say is that this is a delightful Chardonnay on a scale from One to ten. Yes. I am oh on the Chardonnay scale I'm gonna give this one an eight. That's very high for you. Yes. That's high praise coming from Ernie. My goodness There's no tartness. There's no puckering This is a very nice

Chardonnay, I also think you could drink it warm, which I think changes the game. Disagree. I will not drink a warm wine That's white. I will not drink a warm wine. No, I'm putting my foot down I have partaken in many a warm wine. Oh, I'll bet you have good for you. Good for me. I know It is good for me. Wait. There's another question. I wanted to ask you of the stag sleep. Yes Do you remember what this bottle cost? Just so our viewers at home. I think it was like $35. That's not bad for a very good Like I would say this is a very good bottle of wine Also, it helps if you buy in bulk not with just this wine

But like if you go to your grocery store if you live in a state where they sell wine and grocery stores, right? They always have deals where like if you buy six you get 10% off or some shit or like Bev Moe is like literally sales were like you buy You buy one bottle of wine and then the next one you get for five cents. So Ridiculous, there's always ways to get those states where you cheaper making those states where you can't get wine a grocery store Hello, jealous. I grew up in Pennsylvania. I was that's all I'm that's what I'm thinking You literally had to be like planned out like you're like, okay if I need to buy alcohol on a Sunday I need to do it before like 4 p.m. Because I need to get to the state store, right, right?

Oh my gosh, it's such a yes. I have a really dumb question. Yes here in the back Pennsylvania obviously was one of those that is right. It's a Commonwealth Yep, is I don't know what that means is Maryland also a state. Yes. Yes, it is No, you bully You mean bully no, I'm asking if Maryland is all because I literally can't remember it's it's south of Pennsylvania Just shut up. Oh my god guys guys. I'm not even kidding. There was I swear to God I swear on my life may God strike me down right now if I'm lying to you might there was one time We were driving from my parents house in Philadelphia to Jack's parents house just south of Baltimore and

Jack literally didn't know which direction we were driving He did not know if he lived north or south of Philadelphia. I swear on my life So this is why I say things like that. I may seem like a bully, but it comes from an honest actual place I don't recollect any of that. I think this is all libel and slander, but my question remains Is Maryland similar in Pennsylvania and other such states where you cannot purchase alcohol in grocery stores or no? So Jack when you went to American University and lived in a house with a bunch of people Where did you actually live? Where was your house located Maryland on the outskirts of DC? But you were on the outskirts of DC. You were located in the state of Maryland, right?

So when yeah, I guess I guess hold on hold on hold on. I'm not done And then when you were born and grew up, where did you live? Look hold on. Where did you live? Maryland, but okay, so hold on also Do I work for the like liquor control board in Maryland? Not to my knowledge. Why the fuck would I know? What the fuck liquor laws in Maryland are well usually have a better memory than I do and I'm trying to You should we always bought our liquor we being you paid somebody's older brother to buy it for you No, no, no, I mean like when I was a child my parents bought it in a separate store and specifically a spirits store Those do exist

They do exist And I'm trying to remember in college when I could buy beer when I could buy alcohol Because I was only there for a year when I was 21 until I literally split to California Jack is California, north or south of Maryland neither. It's actually west of Maryland. Do you know that? I Love geography But we're not talking about that right now we're talking about if Maryland Can sell liquor in their grocery stores Which I'm still not sure of I will tell you this since I've left

Pennsylvania in the last I don't know bunch of years I think that they have amended some grocery store laws like I think Gelsons at least in the Philadelphia area sells wine, but maybe only in like a designated Section I don't know it's such a joke. It's like Pennsylvania is a joke a giant joke like it I don't it's all of it. It's a real stain on America's shirt. So anyway Cuz it wasn't like literally the birthplace of the country or anything a big ol stain But I love Philadelphia before you grab all your you know torches and pitchforks. No, we're gonna tar and feather you anyway No, it doesn't matter. It's too late. It's too late. I love Philly

So what I'm trying to say is that it's quite possible that even if you grew up with those Specific liquor laws, whatever they may have changed since then it's possible Here's hoping because you live there and you care about it. I care about the people that live there I want them to have the same Niceties that we enjoy here out in the Wild West which is liquor being freely available in grocery stores buying a Handle of vodka at a CVS. I mean, right? Isn't that the dream? Isn't that the American dream USA? We did it I don't know. I don't know. I will say that kind of blew my when I did move out here Oh, that totally blew my mind my mind when you could go to CVS and do exactly like what I'm wait. It's a CVS

I can buy what what yeah, no I'm buying wine when I'm 21. No, like I defected I could go to a CVS and buy whatever the fuck I drank 10 years ago. It was very weird to me as well. Yeah, kind of wild. Yeah Are you telling me? It was like that it was pretty much that for like, you know a month I also was really wowed when we moved out here when I moved out here about the like health grade ratings on almost I thought that was like the coolest thing and now I'm like, I don't know I hate that I become accustomed to things. So we like yeah, you and I look out for different things

You look out for the health grades the health gradings outside of restaurants and like anything below an a Stands out like a sore thumb. I have only eaten at a bee once Yeah, so we ate a bee we lived to tell the tale barely It was very delicious food and authentic food but it was a bee and The floor of the bathroom did feel like you were gonna slip in olive oil or something. Oh god. It was something else Oh, yeah, it was so slippery. I don't know why I don't know why a bathroom floor should never be slippery Whole all the floors in the place were slippery

It literally felt like you could like I'm probably gonna have dreams about this tonight But I literally felt like I was slip sliding through the entire place like on the tile floors like Slippery oh god Can we go back there? That sounds kind of fun. So I was saying you notice the health grades I notice the the registrations on the backs of cars on their rear license plates I notice when they have expired because guys if you know where to look and if you look out often enough you will start to notice There are many many cars on the roads out there whose

Registrations have long expired actually if I remember correctly. I think in Pennsylvania It may only be on your windshield Okay, but like in California. They have them as stickers on your license. That's how we do it out So it's very and it's all color-coded so you know what you know So it's really obvious to be able to tell we'll be in a parking garage And and I'll have this sort of strange like Fascination like whoop that guy's busted that guy's expired. Oh man that one's from two years ago, etc But yeah, no you are like weirdly attuned to license plates

Yes, I think you were the one who pointed out to me. I don't know I got you I got you in on it a week ago Yeah, well a week ago. You told me like oh Yeah, another one your registration is expired That's right, and I was like oh shit well cuz here's the thing people is that what happens is that Jack film will go and get our We have like our we have a mailbox We don't have a we don't like get mail like at the door But we have a mailbox and so it accumulates over like a period of you know three days No, like three weeks and then Jack film will go and collect it from the mailbox

but instead of actually going through it he will take the pile of mail and Bring it to the garage So that it's not an eyesore and not something that we have to deal with quit exposing me I never do this like I had another co-worker of mine was like did you ever get my birthday card that I sent you and I was like No, no, I didn't honey. I only move it when we have company over and now Oh All right, there's a difference This is why we shouldn't have company over yeah, that's fair because I found out like a week before

Like that I was supposed to have jury duty. Yeah, you got jury summons. Oh my gosh So anyway, this is why my registration was expired Thank God for Jack film because not only did he hide my registration renewal from me But then he alerted me to the fact that my registration was expired when he spotted it on my license plate Two months after the fact if either of us ever go to jail It's only because I missed something in the mail because I had to move it to our garage because we had company I don't think that holds up air tight I know I just don't think that that holds up. I don't think that they care

Cover boys Is that there's no malice like there's no like oh no, there's no intent Is like we were having company over and I missed the notice the intent is getting rid of the eyesore because it's just it's so It's just piles and half of it is magazines and Catalogs you think maybe you could just throw those away But instead you just throw them in saving for you because one time I asked you do you want to keep this and you said yes So I just kind of applied that logic. I use them for inspiration. Oh, yeah, you really read them

I do sometimes I look at them for inspiration. How do you think this house became so beautiful, Jack? This house is beautiful Anyways wine of the week, it's really good stag sleep Apparently there's another stag sleep that is just they're regular This is like a subset, right? And then I don't know the Karya thing I don't know it's different than the like we bought a stag sleep and then we bought the stag sleep Karya This is the stag sleep Karya next week. Why don't we try the stag sleep by itself the regular ass stag sleep? That's what my parents really like. Well, do they like the Chardonnay or they like they don't I think they like the

Red stag sleep. Oh, I think they do. I missed the Reggie. We need to check with Dave and Donna on that I don't fuck with red wine. Eventually. We're gonna have to fuck with red wine. I don't fuck with red wine There's what? No, eventually we have to fuck with red wine. No, I'll be absent that episode. So annoying I don't like red wine. It's a very different taste from white wine. You can barely even tell the difference. That's a lie I saw the difference. I tasted the difference every single time in your so-called quiz Yeah, because it was super easy hardly a quiz, okay embarrassing really we're going to be drinking red wine Eventually we can't only drink white. You know what we should have a red wine episode. I'm for that I am for that. Oh, it was that easy now. You're just convinced because it's like a challenge

Okay, so is that what we have to do with the anti-vaxxers as we just say Is that we just say like reverse psychology? Yeah, yeah, it would be like, you know what that's fine Only really smart people get vaccinated then they go what? No, I'm I'm smart. It was that easy to convince you to change your mind reverse psychology is a hell of a drug But for real only hot smart people get vaccinated. I actually saw a comment on your YouTube Channel this week that said like oh, I think it's really weird He ended his video really abruptly by saying get vaccinated. I saw that exact same comment, too What is that? I don't know. Why is that weird Jack? Are you being paid by a big pharma? Maybe I thought you wouldn't say that

I thought we agreed not to admit that can we build that into my divorce settlement You mean my monthly big pharma payments you mean and the and the Benjamins that I'm about to receive as a result Oh, it's not Benjamins, honey. It's truckloads of Benjamins Big pharma pays well truckloads of Benjamins is still Benjamins just FYI fair enough if we're going to split hairs But yeah, I agree with you was a weird comment to see like was he talking about I can't wait for my fucking booster shot, bro. I'm like here for it. Give me that booster shot The FDA is close to approving a third booster shot of the probably two shot whatever Some Moderna Pfizer whatever at least in the US for immunocompromised individuals. I saw that too

Yeah, here's the thing that like I think some people are still holding on to is that like the FDA still hasn't approved the vaccine In general, right? So how are they like close to approving a third dose if they haven't approved the vaccine in general? And I don't know I have asthma. Can I be Oh and and and I got the shingles when I was 24 Can I be considered immunocompromised because I'm a hella stressed in like person? I just stress all the time. So like am I immunocompromised? I feel like by definition you should be you should apply hit me up with that fucking third booster, baby I'm ready for it. I'm not even kidding. Like I barely

Remember feeling like I won't even go into like my experience because it was like forgettable. It was a forgettable experience It was fine. It was absolutely fine. Even more so for me. I felt absolutely nothing. Yeah, you literally felt nothing I went on a subreddit the other day by the way I'm not even gonna name it because I don't want people to go if I were an Unvaccinated individual and I went on this subreddit and it was all about like people who had been vaccinated that Allegedly that had side effects or something or like bad stuff happened. I don't think I would get it I'm so glad I didn't know about that because like it was fine It was absolutely fine and I can't believe that there's shit out there

That's like fear mongering like that. It makes me so upset because like It's not real. It's like that documentary we saw last summer. I believe the QAnon one No, it was not the social network, but the social dilemma. That's what it was called. Oh my god Yeah, it was fascinating because it just kind of amplified the whole Echo chamber effect that social media has put upon the global population and how like they'll find like-minded people Doesn't matter what your opinion is you will be, you know, lopped in with other like-minded people Masses of them that will agree, you know They'll agree with everything you think every fear that you have etc

And that's what's happening right now, you know for people who are against the vaccine. They'll find like-minded individuals They'll be like, oh, yeah, no, don't get it. Here's I heard that, you know, my cousin's friends mother-in-law's pet Had really averse reactions Etc, and it's just it and that's enough and that's enough like if you want to find That's the annoying thing if you want to find like evidence for or against something you will Regardless of whether it's factual or not confirmation bias confirmation bias That's a much more elegant term to what i'm trying to describe Get the dang vaccine. Wow jack. I had no idea. You were so political all of a sudden. Doesn't that suck that?

That's a political thing to say. I hate that. I absolutely hate that. That's a real hot take not a hot take It's a political Act to say hey, maybe I don't know. Maybe we should trust these these scientists and health experts and get vaccinated Oh, you're working for big pharma Okay, cool. No, I'm just I'm just not a scientist. I'm just not a smart person. I just you know, I trust Oh, no, I shouldn't I shouldn't I should fuck off. Okay. Yeah, fuck me right I Would like to get into another very

Controversial conversation. Yes. Okay. Yes. I know where you stand politically and I don't want to get political But everybody, please join us for debate night. Let's fucking go Let's go We doing it. Let's go Jack film here has prepared a number of topics for us to debate on and they are All very stupid Very innocuous. Now, hold on. I wouldn't call them stupid. Okay innocuous topics that we are going to debate on and

I don't know what these topics are and I have to thank you Dear listeners a lot of these most of these come directly from you I asked and you acted so thank you in advance for most of these not trivial Debate subjects innocuous. It's not trivial. It's innocuous. Let me look up with the definition of innocuous Could you please because you know, my parents always made me play innocuous pursuit the board game growing up We couldn't afford trivial pursuit innocuous adjective Not harmful or offensive. They could just say harmless

I don't know why they have to say not harmful. It's a waste of syllables. It's a waste of syllables But okay, so harmless or inoffensive. Here we are. All right your first innocuous question Trump or biden i'm kidding I joke. All right first question first debate topic. Here we go ready ready Hot dogs. Are they sandwiches or are they not sandwiches? They are not okay. Wait, how should we do this? I want you to go first. I think we'll alternate on who goes first Okay, and the other person should try to take the other side. You know what I mean?

I think it's a lot more fun instead of the other person going. Yeah, I agree So you take this first one hot dogs. Are they sandwiches or not hot dogs? Are not sandwiches idiot and let me tell you why you already lost. Let's hear it now. Let me think You have 10 seconds to think because I'm like, okay So hot dogs do have condiments which sandwiches do yeah talk it out They do have meat which some sandwiches do that they do it does contain bread which some sandwiches do Some you could say it's like you eat it differently like you position your hand differently But that really depends on the individual exactly. I guess I'm on team sandwich. What I'm gonna say

Yeah, hot dogs are not sandwiches because if you were to eat a hot dog as though it were a sandwich Sure, you would be eating it horizontally and instead you eat it vertically in which you are putting One end of the roll inside of your mouth and the entire roll fits inside of your mouth for the most part And with a sandwich if you were to eat it you eat it horizontally Such that you only get a bite But if we were to eat a hot dog like you eat a sandwich You would be eating the tube that is the hot dog You'd be biting into the tube that is the hot dog so that it would only be half a tube if that makes sense

If it doesn't it does make sense if you think about it You would be biting into like the middle of it potentially and then it would be you would you would uh If a hot dog were a sandwich You you would bite into it and you'd get half of the tube of hot dog And thus a hot dog is not a sandwich. I win Fuck jack film Girls rule boys rule cool. Okay way to make it uh sexist at the end there. Um, that was a little disgusting and uh Not how I like to run my debates, but I don't know how they do debate school over in uh, your neck of the woods, but any who

Hot dogs by definition Have to be sandwiches tell me more about that. I'm going to if you let me finish. Thanks. Um, so a hot dog is the thing of meat A sandwich has meat not all sandwiches, but let's say for let's say for the sake of debate. Let's say for the sake of definition theoretically Sandwich has me no You could just say some sandwiches have me theoretically the sandwich has meat and then Surrounding the meat is what that's right bread, but it doesn't surround it on your interrupting a lot during my uh debate time It's not allowed. You say not allowed. You say that it's a rebuttal

I you say that as though i'm not allowed to do that The hot dog the hot dog is surrounded by the bun the bun is bread by definition What do we have we have meat surrounded by bread? That is how I would define a sandwich if anything It's an open face sandy bitch if you if we would have referred to it as a sandwich It's an open face sandwich, but it's not a regular fucking doesn't matter if it's open face closed face You know open toe closed toe doesn't matter what that is a sandwich what bread meat bread around a meat That's a gall dang sandwich even if the bread is still connected It doesn't matter that's a gall dang sandwich if you take one slice of white bread and put a thing up

Bologna in there and if you fold the bread around the bologna and eat it That's still a sandwich and that's pretty much what a hot dog is Condiments or no condiments a hot dog is by definition and legally speaking a sandwich case closed god damn that felt good Could you tell me another type of sandwich that would utilize a hot dog roll? What the fuck are you talking about a hot dog roll is a very specific type of roll hot dog bun You mean or oh the hot dog roll the meat thing. Yeah, what the meat stick? No jack the roll It's a roll you mean the bun no the roll. Well, I guess I guess it's interchangeable with bun call it a roll It's a roll. Yeah, it's a roll or bun. Okay. Hold on a second

Now we need to look this up. Do people not call it a hot dog roll? No, everyone calls it a hot dog bun Just like the song hot cross buns hot cross buns hot dog buns one a penny two a penny hot dog buns That's the song everyone knows how to play on their recorders back at school. All right, Erin is pulling up some bullshit on her iPad This should be good Apparently Why are you air-quoting apparently the traditional hinge style hot dog bun didn't come along until the 50s The restaurant uh some restaurant in new england I guess is credited with introducing the new style of bun to the country

Where it became somewhat of a novelty but here in new england the roll became the role of choice for hot dogs In other words bun is interchangeable with roll. Cool. There's still sandwiches though. You proved nothing. Congratulations. What a great debater Man all this talk about It's a roll. It's a roll. What is a roll? Yo, all this talk about sandwiches making me hungry for a hot dog. Am I right listeners today's podcast is sponsored by a hot dog sandwiches Hold on We have a lot more debate topics to debate a roll is a very small loaf of bread to be eaten by one person

Thus a hot dog Bun quote unquote is a roll. You've proven nothing. It yet. No, they're interchangeable Cool. How does this affect the sandwich status though? I feel like you're just doing all of these google gymnastics To try to you're not even proving yourself right. You're just this is such a minor thing like okay cool The roll and the bun are interchangeable. What I'm trying to say. Please is that you don't even know you don't even fucking know A hot dog is not a sandwich because it's uglier than a sandwich usually is All right, I'll take the point. Uh, thank you

Hey, hey, you'll get like you'll get way more points to me at the end I just want to like take the w and you take the l for this one. Congrats. Here's another one for you Okay, ready ready. You'll probably fare better your next debate topic is iphone versus android I'm sorry. I don't understand the question. There is no debate here I agree So I guess I should start since you started last time and you got all tongue tied I did not I did not get tongue tied. You are an embarrassment on the debate floor I clearly

Delivered my argument for why a hot dog is not a sandwich Okay, android phones are better than iphone. Let me know the next time a child arrives To school with a hot dog in a in a hot dog bun In their lunchbox. Take the l. Take the l. Just take the l. I will get this debate started Androids are the far superior choice for a multitude of reasons I will try to summarize shortly why this fact is fact If a fact is a fact, why should you have to say that it's a fact? Number one Sophistry

No one's gonna get no one's gonna get that. No one's gonna get that Sophistry Aaron's making a tick tock reference that like three people listening will get number one diversity Actually when a new iphone comes out, there's like two Maybe three and in some very rare cases Four options for you to purchase and if you don't like those options tough titties Wait next year come again. Also. They all look the same. They all do the same shit year after year Very boring androids. Oh my goodness. You can't just go to your oh Aaron's taking notes. Here we go

It's gonna be a real debate. You can't just walk up to your cell phone provider and say I would like an android phone Thank you. Bye. Bye. There are so many choices you have as a consumer you have So many choices it used to just be you know, I'll take a droid Remember the Motorola droid from like, you know, 10 years ago over 10 years ago Well, not so much anymore. You have so many choices. Do you want a samsung galaxy phone? Or do you want a Motorola phone or do you want an htc phone? Maybe you want the google pixel all of them do different things all of them look different. They all have pros and cons Some have extremely good cameras some have ridiculously vibrant screens

Etc Some have 120 hertz screens You just made that up. It's a screen frequency that iPhones don't yet have because they're iPhones, but androids sure do You have options. Oh, here's another thing You can get an android phone with a removable sd card. Good luck with that. iPhoneers more like iboners That's what me and my friends. What would I do with that? What would I do with that store all your porn? Like what would I do with it? Honestly? I just said You can customize you can do that with an iPhone. Not really. Yes, you can yes

You can you can do that with an iPhone now dick iPhones do be suckin Hey, how many iPhones come with a stylus? Oh, that's right. None of them do because none of them need it Because none of them were built for the Awesomeness that is stylus is uh-huh. So that sucks also The cameras are indeed better on certain android phones than iPhones Oh, you want specifics your boys got them The samsung galaxy s21 is similar to the iphone has three rear cameras

But here's where they differ the samsung galaxy s21 ultra has a telephoto lens that can zoom in at 10x and that's not digital. No, that's optical. That's the real deal iPhones Good luck with that even with the iphone 12 pro max Good luck gamers can't get those sexy 10x shots on the brand new iphone. How embarrassing Sorry, try again. Is this a filibuster thing? Like are you like trying to talk for the next 11 hours? I'm I'm concluding. I'm almost done to run out the time. Okay. I'm almost done Okay, uh-huh one final thing and there are many many more reasons

I don't have time to summarize all of them, but I will say this Android phones are far more customizable than iPhones ever will be iPhones are often very late in picking up features that android phones have had for years such as widgets It took iPhones an embarrassingly long time to get a basic feature like widgets on all iPhones Why do I feel like actually like I'm emotionally getting heated right now in conclusion? I feel it within my body like I'm actually angry iphone more like I win Case closed your turn. Wait, but don't bother. But you just said like iphone more like I win as in like the iphone I wins. Oh, no, don't get it twisted, honey. It's it's quite the opposite. Okay

So could I begin my cross examination? Android more like damn boy. Yes. Now you can go. Okay So jack, I'm gonna ask you a series of questions and I need you to be you are under oath right now And I need you to be 1000 honest. Okay always my moon my stars jack Have I owned both android and iphone phones? You could say that you have Jack yes, I have correct correct Do you know how many on average android phones I have owned versus how many iphone versions I have owned? That's a good question. I would wager. Have you had what you've either had like one or two Android phones this is correct. Is it more does the blackberry count? No

Does like the old school flip phone count? No, it's not that's not android But it was out and the iphone was out doesn't matter that doesn't make an android I've had two androids. Okay, both samsung. Correct both samsung. Okay. You've had two samsung phones versus How many iphone's that's trickier this one you've had one before are we counting work phones? No, okay You've had at least two iphone's probably more. Have you had three iphone's? I think I've had three iphone's Okay, all right. You've had two android phones three iphone's would you say that I have Given my experience a fair amount of perspective. I would not not at all. Why not because you used two Samsung phones samsung is jack. What brand of cell phone do you have right now? What brand samsung, baby?

And what was the one before that samsung and what was the one before that? Oh, who can tell uh-huh listen I need you're under oath. You're under oath. I too have had other jack Which one was the one before that probably samsung. It was all samsung. I can give you a full How is my perspective any different than your perspective first? I had the Motorola droid. No, you told me I can't No, you told me that i'm not allowed to include my experience with other Types of phones. I've only had samsung androids and iphone's because some of us had the galaxy nexus Some of us privileged little bitches had smartphones before other people

So it's my turn to talk now jack. I'm sorry. That was wrong. I actually had the hc incredible before jack Would you say that I have had a fair amount of experience being able to judge between android and iphone Phones quite honestly honey. I would not why not jack because you had poor experiences with two Samsung phones and tell me why I had poor experiences with samsung phones Well that I can't you know that is that is your story to tell not only not don't know You know what? I've actually had three androids because one I had to return For an iphone because it was so bad. I literally was like I can't use this phone. It's that bad Can you remember what phone it was a samsung of what samsung? I don't know. It was 2011. I don't know

Oh, yeah, well, they were garbage then They're garbage now. I had one in 2015. It was garbage then. No, that's when they started being good No, it was garbage. That's why I got rid of it Jack all right now. I'm gonna ask you more questions Are you in any group chats? I am in a few group chats. Yes. Are there iphone users in those group chats? Yes, yes, there are have there ever been any messages that haven't been conveyed because seemingly somebody having an android phone Messes the whole network up and so people don't receive messages because of somebody being in the chat that has an android

No comment. Okay. Jack has anybody ever kicked you out of a group chat because you have an android I certainly hope not because that would be a disgusting act of prejudice and discrimination Jack I've been part of a group chat that you've been kicked out of because you have an android Well, I just have to say that I'm really disappointed in you for not fighting for me your husband, you know of all people It was my idea Jack, can you send videos to people that have androids via text? You can What jack? What do those videos look like? They look like videos. They have some moving pictures and sound and everything jack What's the hd?

Quality on those videos My lawyers advised me to not comment. Would you say it's less than 240p? Would you say it looks like a minecraft video? I will say sometimes the videos have very big pixels Okay, and I think it looks very cool Jack can you send gifts? Yes. I sent you a gift last night gift I sent you a gift two nights ago of you in the fat suit jack How many years did we communicate via facebook messenger as opposed to regular text message? Several years. Yes jack. Why did we do that? Because it's what you wanted jack. I wanted to communicate via facebook messenger because

Communicating via android sucks. You can't send video. It sends via mms Nobody sends via mms. It's all about the i-message like you guys are so operating in 1999 man So there's one flaw one flaw big deal android phones can still do so much more. Why haven't they figured that out yet? Because it's a little priority when your cameras are that good. Hey, by the way, hey, hey real me this batman How many iPhones can fold? Yeah, didn't think so. How many androids can fold. Oh my god, so many with how how First off there are three galaxy z-folds. Okay, the fold, you know that way like a book and then there are z flips And they fold like a flip phone. How many units sold? Oh my god. Have you ever met anybody with a fold or a flip?

Not yet, but I intend to that's my goal this year. I'm gonna meet them jack back in december of 2019 We had taken a trip to Tahiti and the island of morrea You had placed your It was a note eight phone. Yes inside of a what inside of a ziploc plastic bag And and what did you attempt to do with said phone for the record? This is no fault of androids This the same thing would happen to an iphone. I placed my galaxy note eight Samsung galaxy note eight into a plastic clear ziploc bag with the naive hopes

That it would still function under salt water so that I could take pictures and video of the pretty pretty fish And what happened jack? It bricked my phone in a matter of seconds You had made the comment that it would do the same thing to an iphone. Have you done that with an iphone objection? I failed to see the relevance of this question You had made a statement that that same thing would have happened to an iphone And I just wanted to make sure that you had done the same thing with an iphone to make a statement How could I how could I have done the same thing to an iphone when I have never Foolishly owned an inferior iphone

So how could you foolishly make a statement? Let the same thing would happen to an iphone if you've never done that with an iphone because smartphones are made up of the same guts No, they aren't same guts. That's why iPhones are better They're not if they're made up of the same guts then androids will perform better They'd be able to actually text a fucking video androids do perform better actually they have more Why did I get rid of my samsung phone and the other samsung phone and the other samsung phone if they actually perform better? They're garbage. They're fucking garbage. They still can't send a fucking text message without getting lost in space somewhere Do you know that androids some android phones have like 16 gigs of ram? That's as much as like computers do

The only good thing about androids is that you can still use the excuse wait, but I sent you a text message You never got it. That's the only good thing about androids. That's good for fuckboys when they're like, oh, babe I'm sorry. I never got your text. Yeah, people like you. That's a good fuckboy move. I will say that you're a real fuckboy Anyway case closed iphone's forever. Goodbye. All right, so it's a draw then Okay, we have so many more topics. Let me try to find a juicy one Can I just double back to the iphone android thing? Yes, you had made a comment that like I don't know something about like all these companies can produce like androids. You have so many versions There's a lot of variety blah blah blah

Right just because you have a lot of variety. It's like choice. You have choice You have choice of that rotten apple that rotten strawberry No, that rotten peach. Have you seen that? fucking disgusting Avocado that like has been half eaten by rats that Lemon that has been up some old man's ass like very graphic. These are the options that I'm laid out with Okay, just because that there are options does not mean that they are good options case closed I said good day, sir case reopened. Can I just say that most android phones?

basically are Horrible and overpriced look and can barely text your family and friends and loved ones from a pure aesthetic standpoint Android phones look better than iphone's do right now, and I'll tell you why What are you talking about? Oh, you want to know what? They all look the same. They're little black mirrors They look like little black squares with one exception. Every phone looks exactly the same right now One exception that hideous gargantuan ugly

Awful notch Nobody cares about the notch. Nobody cares about the notch. Yeah, I don't care. No because they're dumb No, nobody cares about the notch. It's huge and it's been there since 2017 a blight on my eyes Since 2017 and guess what the new iphone coming out this year. It's gonna look the exact same fucking same, baby Hell yeah, light on my eyes one more you've been a blight on my eyes since 2013 Get the fuck out of here. Meanwhile case closed. Yeah, our phones look better. No enjoy your notch, honey It's not going away anytime soon. He didn't create minecraft for nothing. Here's the good one ready. Wow

Wow Ready for this one sure honey. What is better tick tock or youtube? Irrelevant they're too different. They're way too different mediums. Okay, they're they're way way way too different You don't even want to touch this one. Basically if you were to compare tick tock to instagram reels I might be here for that. No, I'm not making that but no I think what tick tock is versus what youtube is. I mean, they're too different because youtube people post full-on documentaries on youtube people post

One to three minute videos right or really like less anywhere from zero to three minutes right on tick tock Right, it's like trying to compare vine to youtube which you could still make that argument You could still it's just it's too different Because one is for one thing one is for the other so no, I don't really have a whole lot to say about that Another day then let's try this. Here's a fun one. What is the best? rom-com Romantic comedy that's so hard. That's not there's only one correct answer Oh, there's so many would you like me to go first while you think sure the best rom-com slash romantic comedy

Is an older film relatively speaking? But it's one that I cherish one that I adore one that I'm never not in the mood to watch It's a little ditty. I like to call groundhogs day. Oh my god. No No, no. Yes. Yes. Yes Of all of the rom-coms Of all of the rom-coms. No, that's no, that's wrong. It's just wrong Okay, well hear my argument and then lose as you have twice before tonight Groundhogs day is not only a great rom-com and the best rom-com

What is your obsession with bill mary? That's the thing. I don't really have one because this is coming from a guy That's never seen any of the three and about to be four ghost busters movies Never never seen ghost busters one two or the girl one in 2016 And I have no interest in seeing the paul rudd one coming out. I have no I have no investment no nostalgia know nothing about ghost busters a classic I know I can hear you guys screaming at me. I can I can but hear me out without having any bias towards bill Murray and I really don't there are so many bill Murray movies. I have not seen and genuinely have no interesting Here's like a camp counselor in one and I have no

Interest in seeing that Blah blah blah. There are a lot of west anderson films featuring bill Murray that I have yet to see Like the life aquatic never seen but groundhogs day is not just a very solid Rom-com I would argue it is one of the rare instances of a perfect movie Oh my god, so wrong so wrong Like the most wrong of all time. Okay. It is so rewarding. How? It takes an interesting premise that has been done over and over and over and over again And has never been executed nearly as well as it

Excuse you the 12 dates of christmas was amazing. He fell right into my trap. What an amateur love it that movie while fun for christmas is shit That movie is not shit I love that movie It's not bad for our unaware listeners. We do have an annual christmas tradition. We both love christmas very much March I love that movie. There's a film called the 12 dates of christmas. Is that a freeform original?

It's an abc family original. I apologize abc family now known as freeform Thank you, and it is exactly as good as it sounds. It's basically groundhog's day, but christmas It has amy smart mark paul gossler like stellar cast Sure, sure fine cast a fine cast But it is so heavily derivative of groundhog's day and it's just executed Laughingly what about happy death day? Fine. It's an okay movie, but it doesn't hold up. It doesn't compare bullshit bullshit Groundhog's day bullshit bullshit is genius. No, it's not it's not it's not it's not It's just not and that's coming from somebody from pennsylvania. It's just not

Punctsutawney groundhog's day remember jack It is a surprisingly dark film because there's that whole montage if you'll recall There's that whole montage of bill murray's character killing himself over and over again Yeah, no, we remember and i don't know if you do Why why would i not why are you mansplaining the film to me right now as if i haven't seen it And then not believing me when i tell you i have seen it and i remember certain scenes and themes And then you're like you don't oh, oh, oh i don't oh i remember I remember that as part of the book that it's based off of

Apparently is that he lived like 10 000 years or some shit so in the groundhog's day realm Before he was able to get out or something. I don't think it was ever based on a book I think it was based on a script that omitted or chose to admit what you just said the whole 10 000 I remember a lot about the movie. Okay, please do not mansplain to me groundhog's day I only say that because apparently you must not remember that because otherwise you would Realize and remember that groundhog's day is the perfect rom-com. No, it's not it's funny. It holds up It has a very interesting premise executed perfectly. Do you know how many amazing rom-coms there are you've got mail 51st dates

51st dates. Oh, yeah, you don't have anything to say about that one. Do you only because i'm just trying to think Does 51st dates hold up in this modern day and age? 51st dates is beautiful. It's beautiful the rob schneider even Okay, listen, there are parts of groundhog's day that don't hold up like what there are parts of every single movie That may not be appropriate Now, but then we were too fucking ignorant and stupid to know any better And rob schneider is a fucking piece of shit that is spreading misinformation everywhere Right. Well really on twitter as far as I know, but like, you know, but I'm sure there is something in groundhog's day That is not appropriate and do not use that against my man adam sandler

Do not use that against 51st dates. It deserves better 51st dates is a fun fine film It's a good comedy. It is not the perfect rom-com How the fuck is groundhog's day the perfect rom-com that is like saying scrooge is the perfect rom-com Scrooge is also a very fine movie. This is why no, you are just obsessed with bill mary You are just obsessed with him. Maybe I There is no other explanation as to why you would believe that either of those films even remotely falls under the category of perfect rom-com

Scrooge has its flaws. I have yet to find a flaw in groundhog's day. What about the flaw that it's boring It boring boring You're a flaw Boring boring boring boring. It's boring boring boring. It's boring boring It's the elan musk boring company. Okay. It's Fucking boring. Damn. Good one, babe. You have horrible taste. I don't even horrible I don't even know how to debate with somebody as wrong as you. All right. All right. What's the perfect rom-com then? I'll let you have the floor until I feel like you've had enough of it. You've got mail. You've got mail. Yes

Okay charming quirky self-aware. Is it quirky? Yes. What's quirky about the big bad? Megala bookstore owner falls for the independent mom and pop shop bookstore She refers to it's so quirky. It is. She is quirky. It's never been done before or since she is quirky She talks about her store when it gets emptied out as though it's a baby gap She refers to it like it's a baby gap like it's cute It's like adorable and it's self-aware and that like oh, yeah, baby gaps are weirdly depressing and empty Like why are baby gaps this way like you wouldn't understand would you because you know because I haven't seen the movie in like 10 years try 20 Yeah, all right 20 years. It is the perfect rom-com. It is the perfect forgotten rom-com

Oh, it is not forgotten people talk way more about people talk People talk far more about groundhogs day than they do about you've got mail Who are you hanging out with that talks about groundhogs day? The only reference to groundhogs day is that we have been living in it in the sense that we live the same day Every day because nobody leaves their fucking houses anymore. Phil No, how many how many people do you know quote that on a regular basis? So many me and my discord on the daily

Yep, but here's the deal you've gotten mail the one line I can remember Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Just because somebody quotes it as Phil A quote does not make a perfect rom-com or a perfect movie. Oh, hi, Greg Does that not prove my point? Knowing a quote from a movie does not mean that it is a perfect good Anything type of movie except that it's a memorable quote. Yes, but it means that people latch onto it more though And you made a the room joke and that means that no it is far from a perfect movie

But it has a loyal fan base and a loyal audience doesn't make it perfect That that means it has a cult following. Sure. Where's the you've got mail cult following me. I'm it. I'm here I'll say the one line I remember from you got mail is when they're referencing the godfather When tom angst is like boy, you never seen the godfather monday tuesday thursday wednesday and that's the That's a quote from the godfather. Something about mattresses. Take him to the mattress. Go to the mattress. No, you're exactly right Take him to the mattresses. I don't I've never seen the godfather. I wouldn't know what that means But she's like, what is it with godfather? Everybody's quoting godfather lately. It's a perfect fucking rom-com I'll see it again with you. We're gonna watch it tonight. Only if you'll see groundhogs day with me again

Sure. I've already seen it 18 times, but sure. What's one more? So is phil Also, you've got mail is the perfect rom-com hands down Times a thousand final answer Goodbye. Agreed to disagree, but you supplied some good points. That was a better debate than your hot dog debacle Excuse you Next time I'm literally tomorrow. I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna buy hot dogs And I'm gonna make you eat it eat it as though it's a sandwich You have to hold it with both of your hands. This is someone's fetish

You have to hold it with both of your hands. You have to hold it in front of your mouth Oh, like like corn like a typewriter like corn and I'm gonna make you eat it that way Okay, and you tell me how it is as a sandwich honey. I'll do it only if you film it Oh I'll film it on your fucking android phone. We'll call it the typewriter challenge and it will go viral on tiktok No, we call the sandwich challenge. Okay. Okay either or I think that concludes debate night. All right guys. I'm angry enough to jack film What else is new right now? Hey fellas, when's your lady not angry at you? Am I right?

Cheers. No, just you and just me. Thank you so much. I love wine For listening to our debate. What I will say is that please Please for the love of god, please tweet at me if you agree with me. Don't tweet at me if you disagree with me My username is the number two toes up. You can find me somewhere Probably via jack's films on twitter But like tweet at me will become fast friends if you agree with me, but if you disagree with me mortal enemies mortal enemies And also it's over for you if you have any more debate topics that you want to hear us debate

We are always always open for your suggestions So please tweet them at us either at two toes up or at myself jack's films both on twitter We're always open ears jack isn't as cool So he doesn't like tweets and stuff like I do But I like a bunch of tweets and I respond to some if I feel necessary So please hit us up hit us up Hey, honey, yes, I have a question for you. Uh-huh Horoscopes jack film tonight is a very

special Horoscope night. Oh, do you know why because it's eight eight. It's not eight eight I don't then I don't know why tonight is the last night of leo season already Yes already no shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was quick. I know I feel like we just started leo season We did just start leo season and now it's over. I'm genuinely surprised. Yeah, it's august 16th. Yeah, what the fuck and so Next week. It's going to be august 23rd, which is fucking Virgo season go figure. So tonight we celebrate the leo's Leo's drink him if you got him pour it out for leo's take a shot if you're a leo

Take a shot if you know someone who's a leo and if you're not sure take a shot Anyways, because you probably do who's going first I well you are you're gonna read what I vesseled great and this is the remember please Put some put some jazz in that step. Okay. You want some pep in my step? This is the last horoscope of leo season. Let me set myself up a bit It's kind of epic. I want to be a true vessel true vessel true vessel This means a lot not to us because like we're cancers. So, you know And we we just the vessels but I think it means a lot to leo's so I want to I want to make it worth the leo's

While so let's get another bottle of stag sleep and do it. All right jack. Are you ready? Always always leo It's the last week of leo season bitches. So let's live it up. Let's show them what we're made of Let's learn the lyrics to wop and do a theatrical performance of it at a karaoke bar You're a better dancer than grandma. Now. It's time to prove it to all the haters Let's go to a super spreader event. Hell. Let's be the super spreader They'll never stop talking about us then and then it's leo season forever blah

Can't Can't stop us leo lions. No way. No, how except if your name is mufasa. Sorry mufasa r.a.p That's a really nice tribute to mufasa at the end there. R.a.p. Some would argue the ultimate leo. He was the ultimate leo Oh No t time with tina youtube's hottest gossip news channel just posted an hour long expose All about your various crimes and misdeeds. Wow, they're very thorough. How do they get into your draft tweets? Man, that's a lot of comments calling for your swift cancellation. Oh

No Phil the franco just posted his take on the t time with tina video and he's also calling for your cancellation But at least he ended his video with quote But let me know what you think in the comments below End quote So there's room for discussion. Oh, no What? React to it rani youtube's busiest reaction channel. Yeah, I know just uploaded his reaction

To the phil de franco video about the t time with tina video about you. Whoa, luckily it only got like 300 views So you're in the clear react to it rani really fell off I do miss his older stuff from 2014 Me too. I you know what I hate to say it react to it rani used to be a bit edgier In the earlier days of youtube and it's sad to see him fall off You know it's sad to see him become a corporate shell of himself But uh, I I do still watch like when he reacts to the marvel trailers, but yeah, that's a good horoscope. That's a good horoscope Libra

Don't be so down on yourself today. Libra It's not your fault that nobody in your life can take a joke Don't they know that you were only trying to make them laugh Okay Yeah So a few people got critically injured and one is in a medically induced coma, but like come on Did you see their faces before they crashed their cars? It was high lair re us Nobody

Has ever staged such a funny prank Not even the paul brothers who are basically the funniest people on the planet if they don't have a sense of humor Fuck them. You're too good for him. Anyway Also, don't forget to send flowers to the hospital and call your attorney. Have a great week I Libra sound fun, you know, Libra sound hella fun and you know what fuck him if they can't laugh It's not their fault that nobody else has a good sense of humor. Libra's laugh it up Archie if you laugh it up like a Libra

Scorpio Remember when you accidentally hit that old man with your car on your way to steve's big rager last saturday night Turns out that that wasn't an old man at all That was a gypsy pirate ghost and now you have to talk like a pirate forever Super cringe, bro And the big dances this weekend talk about cringe, bro And your oral presentation is tomorrow Cringe city and you're naked. Oh

That was all a dream never never mind. You you did hit that guy though mega cringe Oof that is mega cringe. I hate to hear it. I love a dream though. It sounds fun. Yeah, shit Remember talk like a pirate day. Remember that was like a whole meme like 10 years ago on facebook people would be like Yar Today be talking like a pirate day. I mean, I called you barb Instead of babe for like 10 years. Oh my god for 10 years I was actually gonna bring it up in this podcast why we don't call each other barb anymore I think we just quarantine ruined us like so many other couples

Truly did listeners for those who didn't know we used to call each other barb It was like our inside joke because we used to say babe like we never said, you know, hey erin Hey jack, we never said that it would just be babe. We were like, hey babe And then it kind of devolved we'd slur our words and it just became hey barb barb barb And so it was really funny whenever we had friends over. I remember sometimes they're like, you just call them barb Like to either party, you know, either to erin or to myself They'd be like, did you just say barb and we'd have to explain like, oh see it's funny because there is no bar I would like to think it started. Hey barb on talk like a pirate day. You know what let's rewrite history

Yes, and say that we coined that term. Yeah on talk like a pirate day 2013. Yeah Sagittarius How's your quarantine going? Sagittarius pretty good Oh, what's that? You are finally able to take up knitting because you can't leave the house Well, that's great Sagittarius. I'm so happy for you. You definitely deserve this relaxation time Even though your reckless existence made you patient zero for delta But look at that beautiful pair of mittens you've made. How nice Did you know it's august Sagittarius? And in most parts of the world, it's pretty effing hot right now

And there's no need for mittens Get a grip Sagittarius. You've ruined hot girl's summer for all of us I got faxed and waxed for nothing Sorry, Sagittarius. I'm just pretty bitter at you right now and I think I need some space Maybe your horoscope will be a little more uplifting next week. Maybe There's I know you're just a vessel, honey Yeah, I I do know that and I get that and I appreciate that from one vessel to another We vessels have to stick together birds of a feather, but correct me if I'm wrong

I felt so much hostility reading that almost as if half of it were written in all caps Did you pick up on that? Well, I picked up on it in the sense that I felt the vibrations coming through my fingers And where else did you feel it toes? Is it all around you guys subscribe to my only fans? You guys will find that I Post pictures of my fingers and toes vibrating This joke isn't gonna be funny when you do open and only fans. No, it's not supposed to be funny I'm going to post pictures of my fingers of my toes So

Just call it fingers and toes So I'm not sure, you know, like what your question means except that I feel there is a lot of hostility from Yeah, the I'm not wrong the things that I'm channeling right, but to be fair. I can't blame them because Sagittarius is kind of fucking up right now And they think that it's like cool to like knit and stuff, but really it's like while that is true They also Invented a new type of coronavirus From literally eating ground pizza. Like why did they have to eat the ground pizza? Was it worth it?

You could have eaten elios. They sell that in the freezer aisle Can I just say yeah, how nice it is to have a scapegoat for Sagittarius Yes through via Sagittarius. When do you want to roast sundae because she's the Sagittarius I never not want to roast sundae. She's worthless. No, I I mean like Oh Yeah, how's your weekend? Is that dark? That's funny is what it is Sunday's our dog Oh

I'm gonna read this one in a minute, but I just remembered something. I forgot to tell you earlier. Oh, what's up? I finally watched the avengers infinity war Yo, which is something you've pushed me to watch for literal years I have and jack. Yeah, let me be the first to tell you The fog has been lifted Honey never again will my silly feminine pride Get in the way of listening to my better half

Oh, that's awesome. I feel so much pain inside Infinity war wasn't so much a movie I think I'm gonna cry as It was an experience I lived I laughed I loved I stood up and clapped When the credits rolled

Me too, babe I just threw my copy of about time in the trash Because there's a new number one movie in my heart. Wow ladies Oh god, this hurts. It really is true what they say Listen It's it's hard. I can't even get the words out Yeah Listen to your man and stay

Quiet I Listen you say that last sentence again, but like as a sentence and not like 12 I do want to say there are demons among us just because I'm a vessel does not mean that I can't channel demons Okay And I'm going to say That just because a message comes through doesn't necessarily mean we need to listen to it, but that's no, that's a whole point of a vessel That's a whole Point can you just like redo that?

Quiet ladies and do not listen to your men do what you want to do Just like reread that last sentence again for for all of us Do not did you guys know that wearing a veil when you get married? Supposed to signify obedience to your husband Just fyi. It's beautiful. That's why I did not wear a veil. That's right because but it is why you wore a veil Okay, that was good. That was a good one. And so sometimes We channel things that we don't agree with and we don't believe in and what i'm going to say is wholeheartedly

This is garbage bullshit. It literally felt like Putrid trash fluid coming out of my mouth while reading it. Don't do Don't listen to it. Don't listen to it. Listen to yourself. Not your man Do what you want to do. Not what your man does and also keep talking. Do not stay quiet That's all Aquarius Hi Aquarius, it's me the vessel I wanted to take some time to just start out by saying I didn't appreciate the flaming bag of shit on my doorstep last week again

I'm sorry your mom was dumb as bricks and had to be put down But here's a little reminder of the age old saying don't shoot the vessel or even don't hate the vessel hate the game or Don't cry Fuck you Or don't cry because your relationship with your mom is over Smile because it happened Some of those quotes have helped some of my other victims get through some really hard times

Probably i'm pretty sure anyway I mean they never told me outright, but they might as well have because it was pretty obvious I'm a vessel so I know these things Anywho enough about that. You're going to be a contestant on this new cool youtube original show called yai time Cool right Totally makes up for the mom thing And i'm sure your episode will totally make the final cut. They definitely aren't going to not include you I'm a vessel. I know these things. Holy shit. Wow jack. Do you remember meeting them or like do you foresee that in your future?

Honey, I what just happened? I black out. Uh, whenever I I vessel uh, which is a verb now So, um, I don't even know what I just said jack. It said that um, you're gonna include some normies And in the yai time that doesn't sound right and um, who would I would never they're definitely gonna be included in the yai time episodes Wow. Wow. Wow. Is that right? Wow. Wow. Wow. Is this what a live canceling looks like? Well to be fair it had nothing to do with you. Yeah, that is not very true, honestly That was not a decision that you made whoopsie whoopsie But i'm so glad for you aquarius. I can't wait for you to get on yai time. You're gonna get so famous Just you wait. Just you wait. R. I. P. Your mom. Oh, yeah

Poor one out poor poor one out. Well, I'm I'm all out. I can't I can't Sorry, I just realized I forgot to read the last horoscope I was so distracted by how good infinity war was I get it the dizzying highs the tragic lows The epic girl boss moments It's all I'll be able to talk about this week Honey, will you watch it again with me tonight? Aaron. Don't touch me. Aaron. It would be my pleasure. Oh Goody

I can't wait to see how it all concludes with Avengers end game Something tells me my tiny little brain is about to be blown Ha ha All right, you're a horoscope get back with your ex. They are hot That's a good horoscope. Wow. I would listen to that. I'll listen to that vessel also, baby. I'm like I'm I'm really turned on By the fact that you want to watch infinity I think I need to no. I think I need to reset my um just turned on

I think I need to reset my uh like Ouija board channel thing Because I'm picking up a lot of demons lately And and I feel like I need to like realign with the stars because flipping that light switch and turning me on I think maybe I need to like recalibrate I'm picking up too many spirits that don't belong here, baby You tell me when you want to rewatch infinity war and I'm there. I'm not busy. I'm not busy Aries Have you been avoiding your problems for a little too long Aries?

Buried your head in the sand so to speak like a big old ostrich Oh, but the sand is so hot on the surface. You're down here. It's nice and cool. Yeah, okay. That's fair But like what about your feet, huh? Your feet are still up on the sand and your back is bound to get crazy sunburn if you keep this up In other words, I'd bring your head back up to the surface because ostriches are a freak of nature And if you don't act fast, you will be too like what is up with ostriches anyway, they're like mean They're like they're like modern-day Brontosaurus's but we're brontosaurus is that strange looking they weren't well. Yeah, they there's some weird ugly fucking

Looking dinosaurs out there, but I will say this like that was um, this was poetic. This was less of a Horoscope more of a like platitude more of like an encouraging Don't be the ostrich, you know be the ostrich's feet or whatever the fuck that is What a horoscope is it says like get your head out of the sand or you're gonna be a freaking nature That's what a horoscope does. Is that what horoscopes do? Yeah. Have you never read an actual horoscope? No, not a one as a vessel. You need to be an expert in your craft. No, I need it. No, I need to keep my vessel clean That's why I don't read them. Otherwise. I'll be tempted and seduced like judas and I can't do that judas I

Don't like a lot of tiktoks, but I like those Doris You find yourself sitting on a bale of hay in a dimly lit barn a large pig Sits across from you Staring about 10 feet away. How cool next to the large pig is a sign that reads Do not talk to pig to talk to the pig turn to page 372 to exit the barn Turn to page 80. What would you do? We talked to the pig obviously

Dude pigs have the intelligence of like three-year-old human children You talk to the pig the pig knows all also terrifying people like no, it's not terrifying It's terrifying that like we eat them. That's terrifying You know what I'll give you that the fact that they are intelligent is not terrifying to me but I will tell you is that pigs like People like do things in front of them and think like oh, I could do whatever I want It's a pig but then like the pig can talk and the pig is smart Who knew it's like a built-in security camera something to think about think about gemini

Another week another emotional breakdown Hey gemini What was it this time the pee that was strategically placed under your pillow and kept you up all night The dvr got screwy and didn't record the big bang theory A stranger had the audacity to yell at you after you didn't return the shopping cart And just left it in the middle of the parking lot for someone else to deal with the world is just so unjust Fear not gemini peace is soon to arrive in the form of more money from your trust fund You deserve it benstein

Next time you see that person that yelled at you You should just like wave a bunch of a hundred dollar bills in their face Because you can that'll teach those wretched wenches not to mess with a hotty potty with a body and a Bugatti and a maserati with a lot of money such as yourself jokes on them Okay, horse go over. I really really have to

Shout out whoever whichever god wrote Hotty potty with the body bugatti maserati with a lot of money. That's I don't know who wrote that. That's fucking genius, dude The gemini god should pat themselves on the fucking backs. That's that was outstanding That sounds like a Britney Spears lyric, dude That's that sounds like the sequel to you better work, bitch. Like it sounds like bitch, too Hotty with the body with the bugatti maserati money like that's That sounds like something Eminem would like freestyle Uh, that's an awfully hot coffee pot

Monty bugatti maserati potty potty with the body and a bugatti and a maserati with a lot Lot of money Whatever being wrote that should Break forth from their heavenly barriers and and and join a mortal vessel. I wish I could take credit for it But I can't once again. I was just channeling you can't I am once again. I wish you were that clever. That'd be cool Me too. Yeah, me too. Me too cancer You talk to the pig. Oh good. I was hoping they choose that of course they do

Greetings, you say perhaps a little too loudly I am a cancer the pig smiles a knowing smile But looks kind of evil like a dream works character with one eyebrow raised. You know what I mean Yeah, yeah, yeah, then the pig talks back Truly a marvelous night for a redo Wouldn't you say you feel a chill in the air as the pig says Before you can respond the pig continues This thing all things devours

birds beasts trees flowers gnaws iron bites steel grinds hard stones to meal Slays king ruins town and beats mountain down You think about this for a second Looking down at the floor

Racking your brain When you look up you notice the pig is walking toward you slowly Unhinging its jaw. Oh my god. Oh God, okay. Okay. What's the answer christ? Uh, what's the answer? The pig continues walking toward you only a few feet away It's jaw somehow stretching more and more open It no longer resembles pig. It's an other Worldly being with rows and rows of jagged teeth

running back deep into its throat You realize you are no closer to thinking of an answer to this impossible riddle So you decide to beg for more time But all you can muster is time time The pig stops immediately and shuts its hideous mouth Very good human time is

Indeed the answer the pig then gestures to a door on the other side Glowing white you may enter the spirit realm He calmly says laying back down on a pile of hay this acid trip rules Why do I feel like when I was envisioning the pig? I'm envisioning sunday. I all I picture sunday sunday is uh our dog sunday is a rather pig suffers from a personality disorder of some sort where she period Full stop and I feel like I could literally see her doing this

It doesn't help that she has an oddly pink belly and that she's oddly muscular too. She is also very oddly muscular 120 pounds the last time that we took her to the vet the vet was like, oh, she's very muscular, right? And it's like we don't take her weight lifting. She doesn't go to the gym She doesn't have a gym membership. You don't take her weight lifting, right fair But like I we have no idea where these muscles came from It's very weird. She's like that little kid like a few years ago. That was just like a fucking bodybuilder. Oh my god The bodybuilder kid that you see like the bodybuilder, you know, you see in like all the ads saying where's the weirdly muscular kid today Yeah, that's sunday sunday sunday is that kid sunday's that's hilarious. Yeah, you should be our next guest

No sunday should be our next guest. Like what's your work out? So what's what's your secret? What's your workout routine and she's like, I'm just very anxious I don't like anybody and when I'm taking on walks. I pull like a motherfucker and I eat 5 000 calories a day As much she's like I eat as much protein as I can if I can get some poop. I will eat it right. It's all protein She's disgusting No, the pig is the pig is sunday. Let's be real the pig is sunday guys That concludes our leo season

That concludes leo season. Thank god Sorry to all the leo's out there, but thank god Out of leo season. Oh my gosh. That was a tough one guys Never again. You know what I mean? Yeah, never again. That just was like it was so much the mufasa memories And the scar of it all I can't believe it's already over Well get buckled up jack film because we are about to enter Virgo season. Oh, let's go Virgos. It's happening. All my Virgos rise up jack film. Tell me what you know about Virgos

They're stinky. They're stubborn and they love to drink coca-cola Love those Virgos and those Virgos love their coca-cola. That's right. Not sponsored. That's right Everyone knows not sponsored, but if you want to sponsor also cool with that so but also not but also Yes, but also not you let me know In the comments below So thank you so much for tuning in This week next week. We're gonna be having another really rowdy party. That's right We're gonna be bringing in Virgo season with a lot of spice

What we're gonna be doing is we're going to be teaching jacksfilms how to do Simone Biles's Floor routine. Oh, is that right? And uh-huh and vault and a balance Love that for me jacksfilms is going to become an olympic gymnast better late than never So stay tuned. It's gonna be really awesome to listen to You can't see it, but just you know pretend you're there lots of yeah lots of grinding Okay You're just gonna have to use your imagination, but it's gonna be really really epic. So stay tuned for that And also it's going to be the end ish of august which is

Also the end ish of the eighth month Which is the month in which we channel all of our manifestations So also don't think about bad thoughts. No, don't think about bad thoughts Don't even think about good thoughts and don't like why you're thinking about good thoughts. Just don't think stop thinking Stop thinking stop it. It's bad for you Thank you so much for joining. Can't wait to see you guys next week Have fun godspeed be good and i'll see you later. Bye y'all