Erin is the Funny One - One Word Impressions Pt. 2

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

This week, Jack and future-President, Erin dive into a sparkling wine of the week called a…Cune…Cvne *shrug* that’s tasty, light and the opposite of a Shamwow! Then, back by popular demand - it’s One Word Impressions part two! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Hi, welcome back, dear listeners, to the 35th episode of Aaron Is The Something Whatever. I'm Jack, that's Aaron Who Cares. Wow, I am so happy to be here on this Man Explaining Monday. Just what we all need. A man telling us how to feel and what to think. Thank you so much for joining us and explaining things to us and telling us what to do, Jack. We would be nowhere without you.

You know what's cool? Every Monday's Man Explaining Monday. Yeah, I know. Trust me. It's literally my life. It's my favorite holiday. So this is episode 35. What do we celebrate? What are the 35 of? I don't know. I'm not 35 yet. Wait a minute. I know. This episode can now run for president. I thought it was 40. It's not 40.

I think it's 35. Oh, really? Yeah. It's confirmed. Me running for president come later this year when I turned 35. That's insane. God. Pass, hard pass. I would move.

Would you vote for me? No, I'd move. To where? Anywhere that's, that you're, you ain't running in. Uh-huh, uh-huh. How old do you have to be to run for president? Asking Google. 35, be at least 35 years old.

Who was the youngest person to ever, wow, I don't want to say run for president. But like, yeah, who's the youngest president ever? JFK. How old was he? He was a little babe. How young was the youngest president? It wasn't Alexander Hamilton. Oh Lord.

Theodore Roosevelt at 42. Can you imagine 42 is so young. JFK was number two at age 43. Wow. Damn, what do you even know at 42? You don't know anything. How old is it? You're still just stumbling out of the womb.

I, well, honest, like it just, it feels so young. Like, I just don't think that person could ever have enough life experience. No, I don't want, I don't want him to have the football. And the nation, you know? Yeah. The nation Jack film. Don't give him the codes. He's too young.

This isn't like running a company. This is running a country. Actually that's ages. What we're doing is some real ages thinking. You can't just fire people if you don't want them in your country anymore. Like you can't do this. This is a, this is a country that these young people have to run. That's right.

There's no I and president. We get a 41 year old lady to please run for president because that would be a moy poggers. But wait, you would just, you just went on. I would. Yeah, but I would. Mark Aaron rant. No, I would totally.

About how young that is. I would totally vote for a 40 standard hypocrite and double standard. Don't care. Disgusting. Don't care. Literally every day of my life, I am subjected to double standards. So fuck this. I'm going to.

I'm rubber. You're a glue. Whatever you say sticks back on you or whatever. So can I just say, but yeah, I do think that you and I are getting a tad predictable because last night Aaron and I watched an incredible video on YouTube. We watched a video by Serena Palmer on YouTube made a video called every episode of Aaron is the funny one. It's a seven minute masterpiece of Serena playing both of us, both sides of the podcast

and just kind of nailing our mannerisms, nailing your friends, nailing my fucking, I don't know, my laughs, my dad jokes, it's spot on Serena. I wish you could hear Aaron's cackle just like the entire time. I've never seen anything like that where somebody got me so spot on. Yeah, it was eerie how spot on it was. So again, listeners, if you want to give this a look, see, and we think you should. It's on YouTube by Serena Palmer and the video is called every episode of Aaron is the funny one.

Wow. I'm so like it made it made me feel like really simple. Like I was like that. I'm like, oh, how hard you got nailed. Yeah. It's fine. Simple Aaron. That's me because like she made all these like dumb dad jokes that I absolutely would

say like it was really. We've known for a while that you're simple Jack though. But now I'm simple Aaron. Yes. It's how's it feel? It is what it is on the other side. It is what it is. You know, well, speaking of predictability, we do have a second.

I also would like to rant about something else. Weird that just happened right before we started recording. So let me back up a bit for weeks now. You guys have all seen it. You know it. It's the Pinocchio trailer with Paulie shore as the voice of Pinocchio father. When can I leave to be on my own? Yeah.

Okay. So you guys all have all seen it. You all know it. By the way, I have been a huge Paulie shore fan for like, because he made my 90s a bio dome in C no man. If you haven't seen it, you don't know, but you should know. So watch them. Anyway, I don't know if they hold up, but regardless, you show me a scene.

Yeah. Anyway, so I've been telling Jack. I'm like, I need to see that movie. I need to. And Jack was like, you know, it's not going to be in the theaters. And I was like, oh, I didn't really think about that. Like whatever. Anyway, because there's like two Pinocchio movies coming out at least.

There are a lot of Pinocchios in the future. Like there's a good one, like a stop motion Guillermo del Toro. Wow. Wow. That's going to be the good one with you and McGregor voicing a little a Jiminy Cricket. Never heard of him, but this one, this is the Paulie shore Pinocchio listeners. So this is the one you got to keep your eyes on the Paulie shore Pinocchio.

So anyway, I've been telling Jack film for weeks now. Like I have to see this movie. I'm so about this movie, whatever. And Jack is like, man, whatever, you know, it's not going to be in theater. Like he was like so like meh-meh on it. Jack, what did you say to me right before we started recording? I said, Aaron, I think we actually have to watch. That's not what you said.

That's not what you said. What did I say? You were like, oh my gosh. Did I go farther? No, you said we have to see that Pinocchio movie with Paulie shore. And I was like, that was my idea. I wanted to see that movie. But like now it's like, no, we actually, we actually do.

Yeah, I know. I've been saying that. I know. I've been saying that. Once again, a man takes credit for my idea, my idea. And now you're like, Hey, we have to see that movie. I'm like, yeah, no, I know. I've been saying that for weeks now.

Anyway, we have to see that movie. Apparently Jack was like, oh, there's more clips on Twitter. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Two more clips at least came into my feed and each one is just more fascinating than the last. Hopefully after we're done recording, we can see if it's like available digitally or

something. Yeah. Oh, that'll be fun. Then we can open next week. Then we can spend the rest of the night watching Pinocchio with Paulie shore. Oh God. Isn't it weird to think that when we look up at the moon, that's the same moon that Paulie shore looks up.

Oh, Aaron, that's beautiful. God, what a small world it is somewhere out there. Fival. I actually feel like I listened to an interview with Paulie shore. A few, maybe it was like after Wes Craven had died. Do you know who Wes Craven is? Jack film. Shut up.

That's a mansplaining right there. Okay. Just making sure. Cause I know you hate your spooky movies. No, you're making Paulie shore. So I pretty sure Paulie shore and Wes Craven were like next door neighbors or something. I don't know that. And I can't remember if Wes Craven decorated Paulie shore's house or Paulie shore decorated

Wes Craven's house. I don't remember, but they were neighbors. Yeah. There was something. There was a story about them being neighbors and then may he rest Wes Craven. But there's something there. And isn't it crazy to think they're in the same city boundaries that we are that when we look up at the same moon in the same city.

He's looking at the same one. He's looking at the same one. It's almost like we're together. That's how I like to picture it. You know, it helps me sleep at night. I like to imagine I'm closer to celebrities by being like, maybe they're looking up at the moon at the very same time I am. Is that what you want to do?

No, not really. But it was in the movie Joe dirt. I think love Joe dirt probably also doesn't hold up. No, not at all. That was another like 90s early 2000s movie that I have seen probably 80 times. Yeah. I thought when the whole moon thing, I thought you were quoting or like paraphrasing American tale.

What? Yeah. Oh, Joe dirt probably made fun of it then. That's probably where that came from. Gosh, we have quite a movie night ahead of us. We never watched our dirt together. Not together. No, I saw theaters when I was like, you know, we take you saw Joe dirt.

Yeah. In theaters. And he was like me and me and my buddies, my little middle school or boys. So when you shat your pants. No, that was at a different middle school boys basement. Okay. He made me laugh so hard. I shat my pants.

And by the way, it was really funny. Was that before after Bible camp? Way before years before Bible camp. And by the way, it was confirmation camp. Excuse you. It is now time for wine of the week. Oh yeah. We drink wine on this podcast.

I had, I had no idea. Our friend Serena didn't include that in the video listeners for the past 34 episodes. We review a bottle of wine for your tasting pleasures and even recommended to you if you like it enough. And this week's no different. Honey, what do we have? Oh, where did this come from? Oh, where did that come from?

Oh, we've got a Kune. And what, and what is it? How would you say that? Yeah. Cune. Cune. It's C-U-N-E. So either Cune or like Cune, but there's no like accent mark over the E. So maybe it's

just Cune. It's a Kava brew. Oh, champagne. It's, well, no, it's not a champagne. Champagne wine. It's a sparkling. Okay. Sparkling wine.

I made the mistake of sending Jack to the, uh, our local liquor store once again. And this is what he came back with. So we've got, we've got ourselves a Cune. And, uh, this baby that we've got here is 11 and a half percent. Right on, right on. And hails from Espana. It's a product of Spain. Oh my God.

I love that for us. We went to Spain once. 20 miles from here. It's a long way. Jack, from while I opened this, why don't you talk about our adventures in Espana? Sure. So we went to, uh, Barcelona. Was that 2016?

That was, that was 2016. And we stayed there for like three, four days. The food was great. The drinks were wonderful. We had a lot of, what are they? The gin and tonics. Gin and tonics. I think sangria too.

That was a big drink there. I loved one of my favorite parts. If not my favorite part was to seeing the, um, the cathedral. Whoa. What's that called? I don't remember. Oh boy. Okay.

It was under construction and probably always will be from what I understand. Yes. This famous, famous, uh, very, uh, charismatic and audacious cathedral. It's massive. It's about the entire size of a city block, honestly. And it's just kind of famous and infamous for its lengthy development. Isn't infamous a bad thing? Oh yeah.

I mean, like it's been under construction for like a century or half a century. And much like Disney world, it probably will never be, uh, finished. But anywho. Oh, that's tasty. Oh, you like it? I like that a lot. Tell us about it. Okay.

Hold up. We paid $13.99 for it. Let's see. Oh, that is tasty. Does Vivino even know this shit because it's from Espana? And Marina even nailed the Vivino app portion. She did. It was, it was infuriating.

Simple. Erin is simple. So simple. So predictable. It was just infuriating like how hard she had us pegged. Like just, it was just so infuriatingly accurate. Ah, they know it. Okay.

So here's the weird thing. They also have in parentheses C V N E. Oh. And it has 875 ratings, three and a half out of five stars. And average price, 1349. So we only overpaid by 50 cents. Take that, Serena. Oh my God.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Serena. You made fun of us for always getting scammed. Well, guess what? Joke's on you. You've got quite the egg on your face. Oh, I like that a lot.

Yeah, I do too. That's really tasty. It's super light. For under $14. It doesn't have a like that weird lingering sometimes like drying. Sure. Every now and then when I use like a different toothpaste, it really dries out the insides of my mouth.

Oh, maybe we should look into that. And I feel like sometimes wines will do that too, or it's like somehow it's like weird like it's like a chamois for your mouth. Oh, beautiful. And this does not do that. That's a good champagne. We don't drink. It's not champagne.

Sparkling. What's the difference for our listeners and me between champagne and sparkling wine? Champagne comes from the Champagne region in France. Okay. It's a French sparkling. This is just a cava. Listeners, I wish you could have seen her face as she struggled to say and pronounce. A lot of self doubt.

A lot of a unconfidence. Whatever. We don't care about things anymore. We don't drink a lot of sparkling wine though. We don't. I used to. Yeah, what happened? What happened to you?

I don't know. Old habits, I guess. It didn't mean anything. I just wanted to say what happened. It's just a really fun thing to say to anyone. I mean, like what happened to you? Go to your friend. Hey, listeners.

What happened to you? Go to your best friend. No context and just say, hey, what happened, man? What happened? And then when they, they're like with what? And you go with you. That's perfect. Don't elaborate, but like just keep going with you, man.

Like what happened? That's awesome. Oh, what a fun prank. And then just keep saying like, I don't. April Fool's Day is right around the corner. Yeah. When's Easter? It's when the moon enters its third cycle.

Is it the moon that I'm looking at and the same moon that you're looking at? Shut up. Easter Sunday this year is April 17. And I forget what designates. I actually have no idea what designates. It's one of those holidays. It's the day Jesus died.

Shut up. That's what designates Easter. What do you think? Should we move on to the meat of the? I'm a vegetarian. You're extra sassy tonight. I don't know what your deal is. I used to be.

That was, that was a lifetime ago. It was not a lifetime. It was. It was a lifetime ago. It was like 10 years ago. That's a lifetime. It was like five years of my life though. That's a long time.

I've been thinking about going back to it too. Cause you know, I get weird about meat. Oh, you do. You don't like chicken. You're very picky about chicken. Yeah. What's it cooked enough? Probably just not eat it.

Yeah. I'm weird about like textures with. I just, I don't really like meat that much. It kind of freaks me out. As soon as I am reminded that it's meat, I'm like, whoop. Nope. Can't do that. It's going to be no for me dog.

And speaking of taking sayings from celebrities. Uh-huh. Flawless transition. Jack, what are we doing tonight? Well, as you probably guessed from the title of this podcast, listeners, we are doing one word impressions round two. And here's the twist. Last week, I was the asshole that picked out all the names and,

you know, we would alternate back and forth. We like literally drew names out of a, out of a bowl and we only had one word to impersonate the celebrity or character or fictional being. And the other had to guess this time. Aaron, she dumped in like weight. She dumped in like a hundred new names. 95.

Jack. That's insane. 95 new names and whatever you had left over from the last round, which was a lot. We had a lot left over from last week. So now we have like some of mine from last week, which is already a lot plus 90 plus more from Aaron. I'm terrified.

I would say that there's probably a 10% chance that any one of the little balls of paper, cause by the way, I crumpled them all up instead of folding them like he did last week, which was a horrible idea. Cause then they get all like, you know, they start eating each other and you can't find them anyway. I wanted each little piece of paper to be its own individual self and unique snowflake that they are.

So I wanted to recognize them all equally as they deserve to be. And I curled them all up into papers, but I'd say that about, there's probably a 10% chance that any one of these will be one that you wrote and a 90% chance that one will be one that I wrote. I don't like those odds. The good news is, is that there are so many names that I wrote down,

fictional and non-fictional. Right. That you don't even remember. I don't even remember. Most of what I've written down. So we're almost not even playing. It also helps that. So I've been waking up this week at 5 30 every morning just cause

I'm in this like work project, whatever. Yeah. So I've been having meetings from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. Every day this week, living the dream, but it actually, it isn't that bad like cause the meetings are really interesting

and fun, whatever. But there was some time in the meeting that I found, I'm like, this is a pretty not interesting part of the meeting. So I'm just going to start writing down names and it happened. And it happened at like 6 30 in the morning. Oh yeah. I don't,

I mean that was, That was a lifetime ago right there. That was like 13 hours ago. It was. So. Oh, you have no idea what's in there. I have no idea what's in there. Oh, this is great.

Okay. So we actually are on like an equal playing field. Let's go. Yeah. So and listeners, feel free to guess along. We will each take turns. We will alternate pulling out a name from this bowl,

doing a one word impression. Well. And then you have to guess who it is. I would also say, okay. So fair warning. What? A lot of the names that I put in this bowl are the most white

bread celebrity or characters. Okay. I'm okay with that. Okay. Can I give one away? And if we pull it out, we'll just throw it away to give you an idea of like, how I would like for you to give me an example of one of the

names that I threw in that bowl. Yeah. Was Kristen Bell. Oh my God. Oh God. I'm glad he said it. I can't wait to throw that one out. This is the most advanced round of one word celebrity impressions

or, you know, character impressions, whatever. Dante must die mode. This is Dante must die mode of celebrity impressions or whatever the fuck we're calling this. You don't even know what I referenced.

Is it like celebrity deathmatch? Oh baby. No. There's a very famous video game series called Devil May Cry. You're eight years old and you have a beard. That's the, that's the Jim Carrey Grinch movie, which is great. Dante must die was a difficulty setting made famous by the Devil May

Cry series. So you know how video game settings normally have like difficulties, like easy, medium, hard. The one above hard mode for this franchise was Dante must die mode. And that was, if you were feeling, you know, particularly masochistic.

Every now and then I forget how much of a nerd you are. And by calculations. Right. As soon as I forget, you married me. You come forward and just, you overcompensate for me forgetting, I'd say. Like if you forgot,

let me just remind you of where Dante must die mode came from. So all right. Who wants to go first? I want to go first. Also, how would you do a Kristen Bell impression? I don't know. I don't even,

do you even know who Kristen Bell is? I'm like, is Kristen Bell the one in the woman across the, the window? Yeah. I do not know. I have no idea. I probably would say like wine.

I don't know though. I would say about 40 of the 95 are full on white bread. Damn you. Totally. This is going to be hard as shit. So anyway, if you need like what we're going to do is like, if you really cannot accomplish it in one word,

we can advance it. We can move it up a few words. Yes. Okay. I like that rule. I mean, that's kind of what we did last week. Right? Like I was like,

sure, get three. Sure. Okay. We'll play it by, let's play it by ear. I would like to go first. I am selecting a crumpled up name from the bowl, the ceremonious one word impression ball.

Great system. By the way, having them all crumpled up. I know. Thank you. You really thought this through. I did. Come on.

Is it Kristen Bell? Tell me. It's not. That would be amazing. It's not. I would be like, there's something in the air. This is meant to be.

Oh God. Okay. So this makes me think that you did pull one of the ones that I put in the bowl, which gives me an advantage, which, so I have a one out of 95% chance of getting it. That's really good. This is not so much an impression as it is like a clue. Can I do that?

Try the impression first. Okay. Oh, I think last week we also said, you can't use names. Oh no. Right. We can revoke. Why don't we go ahead?

If need be. Yeah. Let's revoke that rule. Because guys, I don't think you understand some of these things that I threw in this bowl are impossible without names. They really are. All right.

Here we go. As proof, here's my one word impression. It was like chaos mode, guys. Sorry. 6 30 a.m. Aaron is punchy. Let me think this through.

I have an idea. Okay. I want to see if there's something better. Okay. Should I look at you or should I look away? You can look at me. It's just like our listeners have no visual aid. Right.

I don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to. I'll look away. Legend. Is this Chrissy Teigen? Oh my God.

It's Chrissy Teigen. Okay. All right. The only reason I got that was because one, I do remember putting her in the bowl. I thought maybe you would have said something about Twitter. That's a good one too. She does love her Twitter,

but she has an on off again relationship. She sure does. Well, every once in a while, she'll say something real fucking dumb and like, just like no self-awareness. And then everyone will dog pile on that tweet and on her. And then she'll take a little Twitter break and then she'll come back and then say something else stupid and everyone dog piles on her again.

It's great. It's a circle of life. She did say one thing a few years ago that I totally agree with, which was I don't understand Dropbox. Can we make a better, simpler Dropbox? What is Dropbox? I agree with her on that. I don't think yet.

Dropbox is, I don't, every single time I have to open up and God forbid it's on my iPhone. Lord, I have no idea. Anyways. Okay. That's her one like good point. That's like we're Chrissy Teigen and I like. For the best is when she tweeted out like,

Oh, this one time me and John, we accidentally bought a $10,000 bottle of wine at a restaurant. Wait, is that true? Yeah. 100%. And then everyone was like, shut the fuck up. Like, don't tweet that. Imagine being so out of touch. So it was incredible.

It was, and then she like tried to like backpedals things. No, no, no, no. My tweets aren't meant to be relatable. It's gonna take me years to pay this off. Like definitely don't. No, just stop. You want to be relatable down to earth? Don't tweet about the five figure, you know,

bottles of wine you get at dinner. Yeah. Anyway, she's great. $10,000. I saw a TikTok about that recently. Oh, did you? Where there was a group of girls that went to, I can't remember if it was like Cancun or somewhere in Mexico.

Oh, I saw that. Right. And they thought it was in pesos and it wasn't. It wasn't in pesos. And I think the bill ended up being like five grand or something. And it was just like five of them. A bunch of college girls. They can't afford that.

Yeah. Can't even imagine that. I would, I don't know. I'd have to sell a kidney or something. No, that's a nightmare scenario. Yeah. All right, Aaron, your turn. Okay.

I doubt any, like listeners, if any one of you got Chrissy Teigen out of me saying legend. Well, like that's her husband's last name. I know, but like, well, first off, you may not have known that it was a name at all. Fair. I'll be very impressed. Okay.

Let us know if you got it or any of these. Oh, and by the way, if you want to call in and you're like, wait, what number is that? That number, our hotline number is dad, hug me 10, D-A-D-H-U-G-M-E-1-0. Oh boy. This is hard. I was hoping every single one that I put in the bowl,

I was hoping that you would get, I didn't think far enough ahead to think about how these would impact me, you know? Wow. That's not a lot of forethought. Because as Serena said very clearly in her video, I am only here to embarrass you. So.

Oh, that was the best too in that video. That was so good. We're like, you were quizzing me and as soon as I got one right, Serena did an impression of you saying like under your breath, because you do that. Oh, so good. Whatever. All right.

Yeah. I'm going to make you mad when I get it. Good champagne. Sparkly wine. Whoops. Did it again. Hmm. This is hard.

Can I say two words? Yeah. Sure. Why not? Okay. The Marley's. Okay. Okay.

Oh my God. Yeah. Is that Gonzo? It's Gonzo! If you said Marley's, I still would have gotten it. You would have? Yeah.

Absolutely. Really? Yeah. Really? I would have. Because I would have been like Marley's. Oh, I would have gotten there. I would have gotten the Marley's.

Yeah. Yeah. Because he does have the Marley's. Yeah. It's from, you know, fucking all those chickens. Oh, hey. Yeah.

He loves them. I know. But it's platonic, like me and Crobus. I didn't say it wasn't. I'm just saying like, of course his voice is scratchy, because he,

I don't know. What? Deep throat. What? Stop it. The Marley's. Oh, he did. Oh, that was actually good.

That was really, he does have a... Yeah. Classic. He's a great Charles Dickens, guys. I'm not like a huge Muppets fan, but I love Christmas Carol. Because it's amazing.

Did we watch that together, the Jason Siegel Muppets movie? I can't remember. Okay. That's, that's how you know it's a good movie. Yeah. Because I saw that in theaters.

I don't know if you, like, I don't think you were there with me. Well, if it came out in a year when we were together, we saw it together. If it did not,

we probably did not. Okay. I don't think you saw it then. I saw that movie. I did. Just, I don't know. Not with me.

I don't know if you were there or not. Okay. It's not the movie that's forgettable. It's you. Right. So. Well, listeners,

thanks for listening. Until next week. I'm going to die now. All right. Give me the ball of one word impressions. But are you discarding your names? Yeah, I put it over here.

Good. As long as you're not putting them back in the bowl, you would do that. No, I don't want another console. I don't have any more clues. All right. There was like this video.

Oh, no, that was Grover. I think Grove is Grover a Muppet or is he a Sesame Street character? I think they're one of the same. I don't give your on Sesame Street. You're a Muppet. I don't think so.

I think so. I don't. Did Jim Henson do? Yeah, I did. No, I don't think he did. Yeah,

he did. No, he didn't. Yeah, he did. Sesame Street? Yeah, it was.

No, he wasn't Sesame Street's like Burton Ernie or Muppets. Burton Ernie, our puppets. Screw you, Burton Ernie. I'm going to take the sacrilege in my house. They are Muppets.

Sacrilege. That's what I said. Sacrilege. It's like all those people that fucking texted me. You say niche and it's niche. Oh, I saw that. Yeah.

Way to own Aaron guys. Yes. Please keep doing that. The pig, she needs it. No, I don't know. I do know what I wrote back.

Niche niche niche niche niche. The fucking troll, of course he did. And it is niche. They're right. You're wrong. Somebody texted them the other night. Tess and I just wrote back 123 and they never texted back.

Nice. You scared the shit out of them. That's awesome. They went, huh. All right. I got another one word impression for you and our listeners. Okay.

Oh, do it again. I know. I think I know. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Amor. Um, is that Sebastian from the little mermaid? No. If you get Sebastian, you can't, you, you have to throw it away.

Cause that was, I remember, I do remember that was one of the things. Sebastian wouldn't say Amor. Yeah, he would. But he's like, are you kissing the girl?

No. Yeah. You kiss the girl. You kiss the girl. You kiss the girl. And I don't remember Sebastian being Italian. You, you actually,

okay. So the, Oh, are you PEPPELA Pew? Oh my God. I'm PEPPELA Pew. That's funny. That's actually the one,

I had extra paper left over at the end. Oh, one of those impressions. So I just threw it in. I read, I was like, I don't fucking know. PEPPELA Pew.

What word would you use for PEPPELA Pew? Cause I struggle for that one. I think I would go, Oh, sure. He does. Yeah. There's a lot of that.

Well, he was stinky, right? That was his whole thing, but he really was like, he was stinky. He was stinky. And then the girls would hate that.

Travel. Like he was always like traveling to the girls who smelled like love and hearts. And then he was stinky cause he was a skunk, even though they were skunks, but they were female skunks. So they were smell pretty like a female. Right.

Wow. It's all coming back. It's all coming back. It's all coming back. It's all coming. Celine Dion is not in that bowl. So what a waste. I know.

That would have been a good one though, right? Right? Come on, Aaron. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. You do one.

I hope I, I hope I get Sebastian. What, what did you say as him? A more, the kiss the girl. The kiss of the girl. Idiot.

Okay. Yeah. I'm going to use somebody's name on this. Because I don't know how else I could do it. I mean, you made your bed with these. So, I don't know how I could do it in one word.

I was really hoping this, you would get this one. Doesn't make any sense. Okay. Yeah. Look away. Bella. All right.

So I got a 50% chance of getting this. Shit. So which one? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So, which one? Which team do I choose? Isn't that funny though,

that also like our last one was like Italian? Well, French. And this one is like, Bella. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Before I decide whether I'm team Edward or team Jacob, it was like, I'm thinking Taylor Lautner. I'm thinking Jacob. Were you team Jacob, Jack? No, I think I was team Edward. Why were you team Edward? Because Jacob was trying to like weasel his way into something

that was already good. And I'm not a fan of fucking. No, Edward. Did you not read the books? No, Aaron. I didn't read the fucks. Edward ditched her, man. He wasn't,

there was nothing left. He had vampire shit to attend to. No, he didn't. No, he did not. He didn't have any vampire shit to attend to. He just. Really? I thought I pieced out.

He abandoned her. That's hilarious. Because he didn't want her. I don't, it was sudden and I'm not even kidding. I felt like I was abandoned. No, I'm team Edward. I, my 20 year old self could not.

No, I think I was 19. Whatever it was. I could not handle it. I was actually. Oh, you like try. Emotionally affected. I felt like my own love. That's why it's a billion dollar franchise.

I bet you're reading it now. Like, because by the way, I don't know if you guys know attachment styles. I am the most insecure attachment style there is. I wonder if now I would feel differently that I'm in a like, I don't know. I wonder. Now that I'm older.

Quote unquote. Wiser. Wiser, you know, actually in a relationship that I feel stable in or whatever. Knock on wood. Like God forbid, I hope I didn't just like, anyway, I'm very superstitious. Surprise.

Right. That's the insecure. All right. So, um, he, he ditched her. He fucking left her. Add it to the movie night. He just like was like, no. And she was like, no,

I want to be in a relationship. And he was like, no. And she's like, yes. And he's like, no, I'm dangerous, whatever. And like he left her, left her. It was devastating. So Taylor Lautner came in as a friend and support system. Well, they always do.

These nice. He did not try to, he did not try to mess anything up. He was there for her. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard her cry on, but then also trying to get in her pants.

All right. Ready? Yeah. Bella. Yeah. That's, I think that is, uh, that's Jacob. Final answer. Jacob.

I'm sorry. Yes. I was certain too. I know you were. He does have a low voice. We got to see Batman. Aaron, I still haven't seen the Batman. You think you mean the Batman?

I do mean the Batman. We haven't seen it yet. I have no interest in it. I have some interest, not like a die hard like comic book. Like, but like, I wasn't going to see it. And then the reviews came out and they're like,

it's actually good. Some people are saying it's better than the dark night. I'm like, fuck. All right. I kind of want to see it. So it's better than a movie. I fell asleep in many times. Yeah.

But you're weird. I have weird fucking taste. No. No. And you know it. No. I don't have weird taste. You like the mistletoe.

I mean, you know what? Okay. Fair. Also to quote Serena. I married you. Thus I do have weird taste. Hey. Oh.

Hey, a singer. All right. My turn. Yeah. By the way, that's two points for me. I don't even know. Oh, I'm not keeping track at all. Score has lost meaning a while back.

Okay. If it's Sebastian, you have to throw it away. It's not. It's not. I know. Okay. All right. Here we go.

Wallaby. Heifer from Rocko's Modern Life. No. I'm sorry. It's not. Heifer is not in the bowl. So I knew it. I knew it was in you.

Okay. Wait. Do it again. Okay. Wallaby. Arthur the Aardvark. No. This is a terrible.

No. Let's try again. I need a better clue. I need a better clue. I'm like trying to, I'm like Wallaby. I'm like, there was 42 Wallaby way, Sydney. Nemo is not on this list nor is Marlin or Dory. Wallaby.

Wallaby? I can do another word. Okay. Do another word. Dancing. What? Yeah, fine. This is so hard.

This is so hard. Wallaby dancing. Yeah. You'll see how they're connected. Fuck. Dancing? Use a phrase. Okay, ready?

Here's a phrase that this person or character or fictional being would say, don't fucking look me in the eyes. Do you have it yet? No. Really? I have no. After Wallaby. Is it the B from Honey Nut Cheerios?

It's not. After Wallaby dancing and don't fucking look me in the eyes. Wallaby? Oh my God, Aaron. Is it Robert De Niro? It's not. It's not Robert De Niro. What?

Is it Jack Nicholson? Oh my God. You're getting further away. Okay. Give me a hint. Is it a fictional character? No. This is a person that exists and is still alive.

So it's not a character. It's not a character. It's a person. Wallaby? Yeah. Dancing? Yeah. And don't fucking look me in the eyes.

Yes. I have no idea who this is. All right. Let me give you another sentence. Oh, I can reenact. All right. Let me reenact something. Okay.

Can you hear me in the champagne? The cune or whatever? Yes. You ready? I want you to pay attention. Okay. So listeners, I'll be pouring. I'm pouring a glass in front of my wife doing an impression of this existing person.

Okay. This is a visual image in your mind. Okay. What did they say? No, just, you know, take a drink, you know, cheers. And if you feel like you can drink, you can drink. You know, because if you were pregnant, you wouldn't drink. So, you know, you're not, and you just said you're not pregnant.

So, you know, go ahead and drink. Oh, oh, oh. Are the dots connected? I know who this is. Who is it, Erin? Ellen DeGeneres. Sorry. You only took me a fucking essay in our one word impressions.

I did get 42 Wallaby Way Sydney. You did. But I was like, well, it's not Dory and it's not. But it was Dory though. It was actually Dory. It was the person behind Dory. And then dancing because like all she did on that show was dance. I'm down silly and down to earth.

And then also don't fucking look me in the eyes because I have a weird condition. Oh, right. But also there was one time that I saw Jack Nicholson in the Philadelphia 18th and Walnut Barnes and Noble and he was wearing two different shoes. That's, that's all. That's very weird. Yeah. Very strange.

Yep. It was, it was strange and noticeable. Do you think our listeners will understand the Mariah Carey reference that I just referenced? I don't know, but I did. So that was Mariah Carey, right? Yeah. She like tried to make her drink.

Ellen tried to make Mariah drink shampoo. Yeah. Sparkling wine champagne. To prove that she was pregnant. Right. It's one of the many kind of shitty things Ellen's done to her guests over the years that have like, you know, slowly come out in recent years. Okay.

That was hard. And it shouldn't be hard. That's what she said. Wow. Oh, no. Oh, what Aaron? Did you get another hard one? Weird.

It's almost like someone didn't think this through. Um, okay. Let me think about this. Uh-huh. Don't worry. We only have 85 left. No, more than that. All right.

Let me think. Yeah. All right. Look away. Oh yeah. Jarvis. Oh my God. Is that Mrs. Goop herself?

Gwyneth Paltrow? No. Does Gwyneth Paltrow have a Jarvis? I mean, yeah. She's, she's with Tony Stark. I don't know what a Jarvis is. Oh my God. What?

What? I just, I like, I don't know in that Marvel Universe bullshit. I don't know anything about that. So. All right. Say it again, please. Okay. Jarvis.

All right. Are you fucking the only other than process of elimination? Are you motherfucking Mark Zuckerberg? Yes. Yes. From his, from that video where he's pretending to play a human. Oh Jarvis. Jarvis.

Oh my God. And another beautiful attempt and failure of a celebrity trying to like, you know, be relatable. And instead it's a, I know, but it's like, it's a multi-multi-billionaire. I don't even want to call him a celebrity. Morgan Freeman. Voice his house AI.

It's amazing. It's amazing. Oh my gosh. Jarvis. That was like, honestly. That was, watching that. Listeners. Tell, tell me I'm wrong.

That should have been Gwyneth Paltrow because of the way she said Jarvis. I don't know that shit. Come on. It's true. You have seen neither infinity war nor end game. Correct? Yeah.

That's correct. I don't believe so. What was the one I did see? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't believe so.

What was the one I did see? I watched it on an airplane. You made me watch it. Thor, Ragnarok. Yeah. I did, I did see that one. I mean, that was fun. I know that was cute.

I came out like right before both of them. It made me laugh out loud. Yeah. I enjoyed it. Funny movie. I enjoyed it. That's it. God fucking damn it, Aaron.

I just looked at the name. I just looked at the name. All right. Here we go. You know what? That's fine. Okay. All right.

You know what's funny is that we haven't picked one of yours yet. I got it. This is when I play Sardu and I'm like prismatic shard. Prismatic shard. So like picking one of Jack's answers is the prismatic shard. So the law of statistics states that like what? We're going to get through nine of yours before we get through one of mine, right? I don't know.

Yeah, it does. I don't adhere to laws. But I have a really, I have a good one. Ready? Sure. Lazy. Is that Kim Kardashian? It's fucking Kim Kardashian.

High five me, baby. Let's go. Because of her very popular. Get your ass up. Nobody wants to work anymore. Get your ass up. Does she even say lazy? No, she doesn't.

Wow. You still got it. Because like that is literally what she's inferring. No, yeah. Yeah. I'm just, I'm impressed. I like, I was, and I wasn't like trying to like throw you off. I was literally trying to remember that entire.

Nobody wants to work anymore. Right. God, good for you baby. Not like nobody has rich parents anymore. What is that? God. You never ever impressed me like ever. That was impressive.

Thank you. You're welcome. All right. 90 more to go. When should we stop? Should we do like two more each? Three more each? Two or three more each?

I'm having fun. I'm loving this. I'm having fun too. This is so much fun. Honestly, honey, what are your plans next week? I think we might be using this bowl. I'm so okay with that. How about we add more names to it?

Oh my God. Yes. No. I was hoping you would get this. Come on. You keep saying that. There's a 50% chance that what you think will happen won't. Okay.

Hold on. Can I look this up? Yeah, sure. Even though you put your name. You're the one that put it in the bowl and you're like, I have to look it up. All right. I'm going to say a phrase. Three words.

Yeah. I don't know if you're going to get it. Okay. Okay. Let's play. Close your eyes. Yeah. Okay.

All right. I have one guess. Let me think about this. Okay. Good night, everybody. Can I hear it one more time, please? Good night, everybody. Was that Yacko Warner?

Stop it. Yes. She had written down Yacko from Animaniacs. Yes. I didn't know which one was Yacko and which one was Wacko when I wrote it, but I was like, oh, he's random enough. Let's throw him in the mix. Thank you for saying that.

And not something more obvious like, hello, nurse or something like that. Wacko says. They both do. Oh, I thought it was. They're both horny little boys. The little fella. The little one is Wacko. That one's Wacko.

I just looked it up. That one's Wacko. Ringo John Lennon guy. Ooh. Oh, I didn't. Ooh. I didn't know that. I'm Wacko.

Yeah. Aw. And then you did a very good Yacko, by the way. Thank you. Good night, everybody. Yeah. Like that kind of, yeah. Good night, everybody.

Okay. Your turn. We watched like the first two or so episodes of the new rebooted Animaniacs. And it was good. I don't know why we stopped. I think I just got tired one night and fell asleep and then I never picked it up. I know why you did not care for the, um, Olympic sketch. There was like a, cause you were like, this is stupid.

The Olympics never happened. You were very like weirdly resentful. This is real. I'm not making this up. You were like weirdly resentful of the stupid, like Olympic sketch. I don't remember this at all. Wow. Like they faced off against some juiced up, you know, mega athlete and you were like,

this is stupid. They never even had an Olympics. I'm, and then, you know, we lost it. You're on your phone for the rest of the episode. That was it. Aaron was done. Aaron signed off when the Animaniacs dared to saturize the Olympics sacred game. Well, I was probably so traumatized by 2020.

And the fact that they tried to like, Oh, let's like make fun of Olympics, things that never happened. It's like, Oh, guess what never happened. Right. Because it was very obviously. Let's make fun of something that never happened. Like they very obviously wrote that entire sketch. Well, before, you know, the world shut down.

Right. And animation takes at least nine months. Right. Sanyu, we should go back and see if it holds up because I was laughing heartily at like the first. I know I remember, I remember. It was very clever. That's really funny that you remember that.

I don't remember the Olympics sketch. I just remember thinking it was funny and then being like, I don't know why we never picked that back up. I can pinpoint it. Apparently that was a trigger for me. And I didn't want to, I didn't want to continue anymore. But I grew up on the fucking Animaniacs. Like that was my absolute bread and butter as a kid.

Love that shit. All right. Hoping for the Warner sister dot. I would just say. Is there last name or sister? Wait. I didn't even know their last name was Warner. Yeah.

They're the Warner brothers and the Warner sister. I don't know. I don't remember that. So YACO Warner, WACO Warner and dot Warner, much like Mario Mario. Ready? Ready. Don't look at me. Don't fucking look at me.

Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Or Christina Aguilera. Don't look at me. Right. Every day. Hot. Paris Hilton.

It's Paris Hilton bitch. Yeah. Easiest one yet. And I'm very thankful for it. Thank you for throwing in a gimme. Hot. In the sea of not gimmies. Did you know that the CEO of Goldman Sachs is DJing a set at Lollapalooza?

No, he's not. Yes, he is. What? I saw it on the Wall Street Journal today. Wait, how is that related to Paris Hilton? She's a DJ. Oh, I guess I knew. I may have known that.

Okay. Okay. Wow. Now I did not know that. I hope he puts it on his resume under special interests. That's the only reason he's DJing so that he can put it on his, you know. Hopefully he can get some good job aspects. You know, I heard he's really heard.

Maybe someday he'll be able to retire and be a DJ. The man has a big chili in there. Right. I have to look into that. See you. Oh, okay. All right. She's smiling.

She's looking up to the side. She's formulating. That's a good impression challenge. Oh, now she's not smiling anymore. She's furrowing her brow. Lost in thought. All right. Let's go.

Treasury. Treasury? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I know this.

Treasury. Treasury. Who said treasury? This is very like, yeah. This is like turn of the century shit. Treasury. It's not Al Gore. You would have said lock box.

I don't. Treasury. I don't think I would have said lock box. I don't know what that means. Oh, really? I'm thinking like SNL. I'm thinking like, like Will Ferrell is Bush. Okay.

Like, honestly, is it Bush? No. Is it Gore? No. Okay. Good. All right. Can I hear it again?

Treasury. Treasury? Is this a male? Do you want to know? Yes. Yes. Okay. It's like fucking treasury.

Is this Biden? No. We already did. No. Is this, is this treasury? Jill would never. Shut up. For some reason, I'm like really stuck in that era.

I'm stuck in like the year 2000 right now with what you just did. Treasure. It's like that Jonas Brothers song, the year 2000. It's not. It's not like that Jonas song. Not even a little. Yeah. Again, you're very wrong.

Treasury. Who else said treasury? Cheney? No. I think I need more than treasury. I'm going to throw in my life line, my imaginary life line and say throw me a bone. Give me more words or something else. All right.

How many more words do you want? Maybe one or two. One or two, Jack. Okay. It sounds like a two then. If it's going to give it away two. Treasury or state? Oh fuck you.

Of all, George Washington? No. Wait, Hamilton? Yeah. Dum-dum. I said treasury. His answer was treasury. I got my lines mixed up.

Treasury or state? Well, yeah. And he said treasury. Yeah. That's why I said it like that. Treasury. But of all the... Okay.

That was hard. That was hard. That was not hard. Yeah, it was hard. If you're a real fan, you would have known that. I bet you a bunch of people listening fucking knew it right away. Yeah. Text us or call us if you got that before I did.

But also you're all liars. Shame on you. I don't believe any... I don't believe a single one of you. Okay. If you got Alexander Hamilton, what would you have said for one word? Hamilton. No.

I can't say Eliza. Nope. Yeah. See it's not that easy, is it? I know I would have thought of something. Maybe pamphlet or something. No. No.

No. All right. Fine. Treasury. Treasury. I guess that's good. I guess that's good. Yeah.

It's pretty good. George Washington. Of course. We always pick the big guy in the room. Honey, I only have 30 more left in me tonight. Okay. All right. So let's speed this along.

Okay. I think I can do this one. Let's make it challenging. Okay. Let me try that again. Keep not looking. Okay. Are you the starfish from where, when Aime came out with the animated buddy icons?

Where did they go? Not even a little bit. Okay. Can I hear one more time? Of course. Is that Kenny from South Park? It is. I know it was from the get go.

Oh, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. But there was a starfish like animated buddy icon. Yeah. I only vaguely remember the buddy icons. Yeah. Very brief moment in internet history.

Yeah. Tell you identify your personality. So you're not as simple as simple Aaron. So. Aw. Aw. We're simple Aaron. I can't wait to keep calling you simple Aaron for the rest of the night.

But you would like send like a heart to people and I am. Yeah. I remember that. I remember that. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. We should bring those back.

History repeats itself in cycles. I'm sure there will be some kind of retro. I'm surprised AOL hasn't like on like, I hate to say it, but I'm surprised AOL and correct me if they have listeners, but I'm surprised they haven't like minted NFTs and shit of like their old logos and noises and stuff, you know, like just banking on that nostalgia of. If they haven't already, follow me.

I'll be selling it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. There's only 18 Ethereum. You can have them. Wow. Emoji or whatever the fuck.

Buddy. It was a starfish. Starfish. Honey, there are only 80 impressions left. Father. Wait, have we pulled one of yours yet? Not, not once. I'm pretty sure.

Okay. Let's do this one. Yeah. Can I pick another? Wait, why? This one's lame. Okay. Interesting.

Aaron is. Can you tell me what it was? It was Austin Powers. That is the name. It's too easy. Was that too easy? That was probably mine. Oh, was?

Do you have an Austin Powers in here? I might have an Austin Powers. Yeah. I'm not 100% but I may have an Austin Powers. You're so lame. Well, we're lame together. Wow. Oh, no.

I know. She hates that. No. I was saying the one I pulled is so bad. It's so bad. Let's go. Let's go. That means it's going to be fun.

One word impressions are not meant to be easy. Okay. You will not get this. All right. Do it like give me a sentence then or three words, eight words, five words. How about I look at your face and then I can describe what I'm seeing to our listeners. Okay. Okay.

What do you see? My beautiful wife. She's like scratching her face up a bit. She looks hesitant. Like she smells something stinky kind of thing. Like. What would you know about this person? Oh, not a lot, not very into the world of celebs.

Jokes. Jokes. Okay. So she's saying the word jokes with like almost like a disgusted look on her face. Kind of like Mindy Kaling's character and inside out, the disgust one. She looks like the disgust emoji from Pixar's inside out, but I don't think you're Mindy Kaling. Are you Mindy Kaling?

No. Of course not. Okay. You said jokes. Can I say like two more words? Yeah, please. Someone else's jokes. Are you Aaron Pressley?

No. Mad at me for stealing your jokes? No. Someone else's jokes. Yeah. Can you hear it again and see it again? Someone else's jokes. Oh, actually I have a good one.

I have a one word one. Let's go. Let's go. Train wreck. Fuck. Oh, Amy Poehler? No. Fuck.

Because she was in the movie train wreck and she's also infamous for stealing other people's jokes. No. Her name is Amy Schumer. You fucking misogynist. Fuck. Oh, both her names are Amy. They must be the same person, right?

But it's not Amy Schumer either. No, it is Amy Schumer. Oh, it's right. Yes. Oh, she's just, I don't mind. You could have said vagina. It's like vagina. Yeah, I do not vibe with Amy Schumer at all.

It's a bad example, but like. She gives me bad vibes. She also always like kind of throws her friends under the bus. She's like, oh, my friend Jennifer Lawrence was just texting me the other day about how much she hates so and so. And it's like, whoa, you just fucking out at Jennifer Lawrence for that. I can't. I can't.

I can't get down with that. Other people's jokes is a really in hindsight. That was very Carlos Mincia of you. Well done. Well done. All right. Two more. Two more each or two more total.

I don't know. Okay. What do you want? Two more total. Okay. So this is my last one. And then you get one more. By the way, Amy Schumer is one of our top listeners.

So I doubt it. She's too busy like videotaping herself, throwing up in the toilet and like talking about liposuction, try to be relatable and all the things. Tell us how you really feel. All right. I'm thinking about my final impression. I have to make a count. It's my last one.

It's performative. Yeah. That's probably the best way to say it is that it doesn't feel authentic. It feels performative. Flavor. You know, Flavortown is one word, Jackfilm. Well, I'm not giving you Flavortown. I'm just giving you Flavor.

It's Guy Fieri. It's Guy Fieri. But Flavortown is one word. Also, it's Guy Fieri, not Guy Fieri. Oh, is that true? Yeah. That's how you pronounce it. Is that how he says it?

I think it was on the hot ones that I learned. Like, oh, Fieri. Fieri? Like a T. That's not there. Fieri. What did you just say to me? Like the letter T, but it's like not there.

Like it's not in the name of it's not written. But like, I think you pronounce it. What did you just say? Fieri. I honestly, am I that drunk? I have no idea what you're fucking saying. We might be. I keep like just downing this sparkling wine because it is a delight.

It's a T, but not there. What? Like what? I don't know what you're saying. It's like a silent T, but like it's not even in the word Fieri. Like if you spell out Fieri, there's no T, but you say the T. Does he say on like diners, drive-ins and dives? Does he say, hi, I'm Guy Fieri?

Oh, I don't know. I was just, I don't watch that shit. I just happened to catch like a few seconds of the hot ones episode he was on. You watched the hot ones episode he was on. I must have. Yeah. Cause I just. You were interested in what Guy Fieri had to say.

It was just one of those like, oh, it's viral. Yeah. Let's watch him, you know, struggle with hot foods and shit. I don't know. What's funny is that right before I dated you, I dated this guy for like six months or whatever, and like literally remember, well, he broke up with me. He got me always, always being dumb. You regretted choosing me over him. That's what you're going to say.

No, he dumped me. He was, it was over. Like I didn't have any choice in the matter. So, but he had this weird irrational, passionate hatred for Guy Fieri. Close. Yeah. Fieri. Fieri.

Whatever. Like. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And it was, I found it strange and he also had an obsession with the onion. I like him already. But like.

How about Alex Jones? He would like read the onion every day. Like it was a, instead of, you open, you open up like whatever the headlines are, like he would open up the onion. And that was like, and then he, and then he would report back to me what the onion headlines were and I was like, okay. What a character. Okay.

Yeah. That's actually kind of funny. Yeah. You know what's funny is that I didn't realize that he was actually kind of funny until we were dating for like two months. He would tell me like, my sister says I'm the funniest person she knows. And I'm like, but you're not funny. But then after like two months, I was like, wow, you actually are kind of funny.

It's just. He would tell you recycled onion jokes. And then. Yeah. I think it took him like, I don't know, it took him that long to like warm up a little bit. And he ended up dumping me because I didn't put the shampoo back where the shampoo belonged. I put the shampoo where the conditioner belongs and I put the conditioner where the, I swear

to God. You didn't make that mistake again. This is fucking real life people. I put the conditioner where the shampoo belonged and I used up all the hot water in his shower and the ice cube. Well, and, and that was at my apartment at my apartment. I never remembered to fill up the ice cube trays. And he had it.

He, oh, and I always blasted the heat too high in my, in my own apartment. And he just, he, he didn't think it would ever, it would ever work because I'm on his team. He's right. Because the ice cube trays and the heat in my own apartment. Too high. He didn't actually get a beer. Imagine my ass literally like crying for weeks on end about that.

Oh baby. And then getting a message from some random dude on Facebook about like, when I meet up, I like the battery voice. By the way, that was Jack film. Anyway. Um, okay. It's time for the final impression. Yes.

Of the night. Yes. It's your turn. Didn't I just do it? I thought we did Amy Schumer. Oh shit. It's my turn. Yeah.

I just said that. Wait. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm feeling, man. I just tried to gaslight. It'll just go right to your head.

It's a long podcast. All right. So she's unfurling the final impression. Guys, let this be a lesson to you all before you take action thinking about how funny this will be to embarrass somebody else, think about how it's going to impact your life. Okay. Before you do that and make the same mistakes I did. Okay.

So this is your final impression. I have no idea. It's such a fun game, by the way. And I love it. We have like 80 more of these. By the way, we didn't come across a single one of the Jack's films like previous. Which means I'm going to add so many more next week. Oh my gosh.

Okay. I'm going to look something up really quickly. Of course you are. Of course you are prolonging the final impression of the night. It's fine. It's fine. Yes. I'm so sorry.

Oh my God. Bill. Ooh. You sound like, oh, the fact that you said Bill. Is that fucking Hillary Clinton? No. Okay. Because you sounded like Kristen Wiig, the way you said Bill.

Okay. Is it Kristen Wiig? No. Okay. But you sound exactly like, can I hear it again? Can I hear your Bill again? Bill. No, it's Kristen Wiig.

Oh my God, I must be so drunk at this point. Guys, watch out for the sparkling wine. My Lord. Who the fuck else would say Bill? If not Hillary? All right, wait. All right. Hold on.

I mean Bill. Okay. All right. It's lower. It's not. Okay. Okay. Is that Mr. Gore?

Is that Al Gore? No. Fuck. Am I in the, is Bill Clinton? No, not even fucking close. No. Not even like in the realm of Bill Clinton. No.

Okay. Who else would say Bill? But I don't know if you would get that reference. Just Groundhog Day? No. Okay. Bill. Bill.

Bodacious. Oh. Is that Ted? Yeah. Oh, Bill and Ted's. Well, no, but no, but it's not Ted. But it's Ted, but it's not Ted. Keanu Reeves?

It's Keanu Reeves. You said Bill and not like, whoa, or Kung Fu. I don't, what are you referencing right now? What are you saying right now? So like the matrix is this foreign concept to you? I never have seen the matrix all the way through. Cause it was boring. Can we cancel Aaron, my wife, please?

For think, for a, not having ever seen the matrix and B, trying to watch the matrix and thinking it's boring. You fall asleep during the weirdest movie. I didn't fall asleep. I didn't fall asleep. Remember, we watched it at your parents' house and we got about 30 minutes in and I said, can we just go to sleep? Because I'm tired and this is boring.

And so weird. I literally was watching a YouTuber's review of the fourth matrix movie today. Went to sleep and. Oh, they hated it. Well, they hated it. They did not care for that. Yeah. I couldn't actually couldn't finish it myself.

Let me tell you this. Hold on. Here's my hot take and I'm uneducated on the subject. But I think everybody thought the matrix was revolutionary because of the special effects used that were new and never seen before. Not inaccurate. Right. And I think they were so visually mesmerized that they didn't understand

that the movie actually isn't that interesting or good because they were so like, it's kind of like how children love teletubbies because it's like, oh, we don't care that this is bullshit nonsense. Like it's because it's just bright and colorful. And we're just visually. It's why I watched Royal Pains for 17 seasons. Right. Because it's bright and colorful.

Because bright and colorful. That's true. Aaron loves Royal Pains not for its story or plot. It's literally just because it's pretty to look at. It's pretty to look at. It makes me feel like it's summertime inside of my house. Every time I watch Royal Pains, it's summertime inside my house. You're very wrong as usual about the matrix.

It was not just the visual effects, which were revolutionary and groundbreaking and set a new standard for Hollywood, but also the story that never been done before. The whole like, this world's fake. We're living in a fantasy world. That story has been done so many times before because we're living it. Oh my God. The story is literally every day.

No, you're, you're so wrong about the simulation. Have you not did the Sims come out before or after the matrix? Don't compare. Yeah. You know what? You're right, honey. It's just, it's easier at this point to just nod and say, sweetheart, you're so right.

Great point. Oh God. Damn it. Hey, Aaron. I don't even want to. It's time for horoscopes. Let's do the horoscope. Do you even know what season it is?

It is Aries. I looked it up. Oh my goodness. It's Aries season still. Let's take a break real quick. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Part 2 though. Let's take a break real quick. Okay. All right.

So honey, I have a really lovely horoscope for Aries this week that I would love for you to read. So you would say it's not a horoscope. That's right. But I got a few blanks that need filling in. Could you help me out with these? I sure can. Thanks, baby.

I live to serve. That you do. What's a body part? Could you give me a body part? No. Nay. Nosh. No.

Nay. I suck it. I suck it. Can you give me a clothing item that you hate to wear? Pants. Perfect. Can I get a day of the week? A good day or a bad day?

Any day of the week. Tuesday. The worst day of the week. Worst than Sunday, if you can believe it. Can I get an animal that you would find at a petting zoo? A goat. Can I get a cereal, please? A cereal.

Hmm. Should we go with the bee from Honey Nut Cheerios? That's not a cereal. That's just a mascot. I'm just trying to write my friend, okay? So Cheerios or Honey Nuts? Honey Nut Cheerios, okay? We're friends.

Friends support each other's merch. He doesn't think so. What's something in your refrigerator? Expired kombucha. What's the first name of a co-worker? First name, co-worker. Gail. What is the last thing that you wash while in the shower?

My ears. Okay. But I go at them real hard. Good. And our ears get really dirty, people. Make sure to wash your ears. Honey. Yes.

What is a satisfying curse word to say? Cotton-headed... Nanny Muggins. Nanny Muggins. What is a breakfast you enjoy on a lazy weekend? A breakfast you enjoy having on a lazy weekend? I like those crunchy French toasts that sometimes we can postmates from Blue Jam Cafe and Sherman Home.

They literally, they dip the French toast in corn flakes and then cook them and they're delicious. And what is something fun to drink other than wine? Red Bull. Okay. Let me go through our horoscope. Okay. All right, honey.

I would love for you to read this horoscope for our Aries listeners. Aries. Fuck horoscopes. Oh. I'm going to do a Vin Diesel impression instead for ten minutes. Okay. Hey. I'm walking here.

Hey. I'm walking here. Does Vin Diesel say I'm walking here? Oh. Nobody cares. It's time to drive fast and fuck furious and I'm all out of drives. How do you sound like Jack Nichols? Groot.

Groot. Groot? Did Vin Diesel? No. He did. No. He did. Okay Aries.

I'm ready to give you your horoscope. Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Okay Aries. I'm ready to give you your horoscope. Re-watch my greatest film, X, X, X. Oh.

Triple X. As soon as you can. It's a real hidden gem. It's a hidden gem. So. Quick. Use these code words to wake up the sleeper agent. Agent.

I suck it. Pat. Boosted. A goat. Honey nachirios. Expired kombucha. Gale. Ears.

Cotton-headed nitty-muggins. Excuse me. Crunchy French toast. Red Bull. Oh God. You really messed up. Why? You just triggered the winter soldier.

Oh no. Now he's going to kill Tony's parents? Oh no. Because that's what he does in the movies. Mondays? Am I right? Once again. I'm Vin Diesel.

I hate the rock. And I voice Aaron's favorite character. The Iron Giant. Is that even real? Did he? That's where he did it. That's real. Yeah, he did.

But he also hates the rock. I really. I ad-lib that part. I actually love. I should have included the rock Vin Diesel feud in those horoscopes. Well, well, Aries. Okay.

Okay. So Aries, beware for Vin Diesel because he does not care about you. Apparently he's a narcissist and just wants to like, he's like, okay, fuck Aries. I'm just going to tell my own story. Like toxic. And he wants you to wake up the sleeper agent.

That's what we call toxic mask. What's it called? It's called toxic masculinity. And Aries should be very, very aware of, of the toxic masculinity that is coming their way this week. So beware. I learned something today, honey. I learned a lot today.

Can I say what I learned? What did you learn? Sparkling wine is a lot of fun. So much fun. We might be the most drunk we've ever been. Oh, that's a given. It's not even close. I don't even know how that happened.

It just happened so fast. It happened so fast. But we had so much fun. Drunk on a weekday. But also drink responsibly. Always. As we do. Always.

We stay in our house and we don't do things. Speak for yourself. I'm hitting the club after this. Let's go. Club. We call it the club. I'm hitting that too. Yeah.

Anyway, thank you guys so much for hanging out. Tune in next week for like 80,000 more celebrities. Impressions. We didn't even get to the second version of Sandy the squirrel. So we'll close out the trilogy next week with our impressions. So I don't know if that's true or not. But thank you so much. Please reach out to us on our hotline.

Text me. Call me at dad hug me 10. Love you. Thank you. Can't wait to see you again. Also happy 35th. Welcome to the presidency, bitch. Yeah.

The next time haters. The next time haters.