Erin is the Funny One - Please Rate 5 Stars

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

In this episode Jack and Erin take turns reading listener reviews and discuss what's going on in the world while still finding time to give life advice to a fan in need. Advertising Inquiries: htt...ps://redcircle.com/brands

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And welcome back dear listeners to another episode of Aaron is the funny one as always I'm one half of the hosts Jack Douglas joining me is my wife Hello, I am the ghost from podcast pass. Don't like this. Thank you for having me at all Is that your best ghost voice you don't know what ghosts sound like they sound just like that Are they always low like that? I always thought they were like higher like No, they come in all different shapes and sizes. Have you ever met a ghost? Yes Tell me about it. Do you actually want me to? I don't know It could be a good story, but perhaps another day because this episode is my episode
Starting point is 00:00:50 That's right And I run a tight ship around here missy a haunted pirate ship. No less. No, I don't I Pretty sure you do nary a ghost or spirit in sight on my ship No, this is my episode this week and I have some fun things planned So I'm gonna need you to put that little ghost story of yours right back in your pocket Right back in your holster. Perhaps we can hear it in a future episode I would need to get the permission of the friend of mine whose family member it was before I told the story Anyway, but I would love to share it someday. So we'll see and I do know this story. It's a juicy one. It's good
Starting point is 00:01:30 It's a juicy one, but not today nay not today Can we bring back the word nay? We normalize nay. What do you mean bring back? Yeah, well it's done. It has been brought No one Geez, can we bring back it has been brought in as well. That's another 20 year old thing Before we get started and I got a lot of things I want to talk about with you today We have to continue our tradition Of discussing and trying out a new bottle of wine every week wine of the week jack It's wine of the week erin wine of the week
Starting point is 00:02:03 And what pray tell are we drinking this week? Well this week we are drinking some santa margarita Pinot grigio 2020 edition courtesy of did you buy this? Was this a gift from somebody? It may have been a gift I think it was a gift from somebody so Unclear on the price point if I had a guess probably somewhere in the 11 dollar range. I think so it is of Italian origin jack. How would you describe this pinot grigio that we are delighting in it's white Okay, it's not even white. It's like a it's like a it's like a it's a white wine if I had to name this color
Starting point is 00:02:43 I would call it sunrise at dawn Uh, I want to boo that so bad Uh, I'm looking okay. I guess it is golden. I guess the tint is golden mayhaps. No, it's sunrise at dawn Do you get it? Do you get it? Yes, I get it. Yes. They're they're the same thing sunrise and dawn are the same thing jack jack Jack, did you get it? You know, it's funny. I actually didn't I thought it was like an oxymoron I I first I was thinking dawn was sunset sunrise at dusk Right sunrise at dusk. Yeah, something like that. No, it's even better. It's sunrise at dawn. That's actually a lot better
Starting point is 00:03:21 Yeah, thank you very much. Yes, you're welcome for sunrise at dawn. That sounds like a really good crayola color Should I be looking for a new job as a crayola crayon colored namer? I think so That's a good yai question. What brand new color is crayola working on next pray tell why you would make this podcast about your youtube series Okay, pray tell pray tell because sometimes I get inspired at the keep it to yourself This is not the time nor the place. There's my episode It's no just because you created the agenda doesn't mean it's your it's not like it's my birthday I get to do whatever I want. It's not like that. So anyways, this pinot grigio is great 2020 and what a year what a year and what a year it was
Starting point is 00:04:08 Oh Man, I think this this is covered in droplets. You can take you just can taste the droplets So that's wine of the week. I would like to move on wait. We didn't even describe the taste of it Oh my goodness. Well, you are the uh, you are you are the some the one with the tongue You are the some liaison. Some of us can actually taste the things that we eat Seriously, I I can't but you can describe it for us. I'd call this a light Medium bodied. I actually quite like it. It's pretty good. I do too. I also quite like it It's uh, it's not tart a lot of times
Starting point is 00:04:43 I think we talked about this before pinot grigio can tend to tighten up the back of your mouth like a lemon head And uh, this does not do that. That's a sign of a good wine. It's citrusy. It's clean. It's clear. It's crisp I would say it's Perfect for summer. You're very good at describing wines describing tastes. I really cannot I don't possess that at all And I know you don't I envy that we've already described taste You have taste blindness smell blindness and face blindness. I just go. Yeah, it's a good wine Yeah, it's like a white wine. Oh my gosh guys If we're talking about ideas, that's something we should do
Starting point is 00:05:21 We should give jack film a blind taste test I bet you he does not know the difference between white or red Okay, that's that's just offensive. I bet you jack film can't tell the difference between white or red wine At least I can do that. No, I bet you it's the temperature that you rely on If we made them all room temperature or all chilled, would you know the difference? Yes Between white and red. No, absolutely. No, I'm taking bets right now. Everybody place your bets. We're doing it We're doing this write that down. That's a good. That's a good future idea. We'll remember Okay, how many errands out of five would you give this? How many funny errands?
Starting point is 00:05:58 I thought we gave 10 errands. How I apologize out of 10. How many funny errands would you give this wine? I'd give this a six and a half out of 10 six and a half only because once again I'm not a huge fan of pinot grigio. It's not my you know, you're a shard gal through and through Yes, but it is delightful. This would make for a good lunch wine. There you go. Yes. Good recommendation It's never a good recommendation to recommend drinking during lunch jack. You should know better Disagree wine for lunch. That's a power lunch. What are you the wolf of wall street? They sure am. God Moving right along honey. Yes, this is our third episode of our podcast as you know, okay We've accumulated quite a number of written reviews on apple podcasts and just apple podcasts
Starting point is 00:06:47 Well, I've only looked at the ones on apple podcasts because they have the option of showing Text reviews people have written. Okay, that's fair I've collected a few and I would love to share some of my favorite reviews with you of our podcast Okay, let's see what the people think of our show. This is great. It's like reading like hateful twitter mentions or something Yay. Oh, don't worry. I only pulled good ones. All right. Here we go five stars funny podcast hooray Finally a chance to hear from jack's ghost writer very cool Oh, but it not only am I a ghost
Starting point is 00:07:27 Which we've already covered with a very deep voice, but I am a ghost writer You take credit for all my jokes. She got that theranos voice Her name is elizabeth holmes. Okay, that's right. She's an icon if you're looking to get into the Pyramid scheme business. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for the footnote following icon. All right next review five stars stupid if dogs could talk Yes But we still got five stars and that's what matters and that's what matters. That is what matters
Starting point is 00:08:01 We got the five stars two out of five stars Wow This is one of the podcasts. I heard this here. That's from tiki toki boy. Okay, tiki toki boy Thank you for listening. Yeah, honestly, thanks. Thanks for the two stars. We'll take that feedback. Yeah, it's better than zero stars We're just glad you're here man. Next up five stars good I haven't heard it, but it's good Did you write that one? No, I didn't write any of these
Starting point is 00:08:32 It was a joke. You don't have an iphone. That's true. I don't I haven't heard it, but it's good I wonder how many podcasts there are on apple podcasts that have like However, many ratings that they're all like that. I haven't actually listened to this, but she's hot. So right No, I I'm scared of the realistic figure behind that. Let's see. What else there? I think we have a few more here five stars Heck, yeah horoscopes. I don't understand horoscopes, but now I look forward to hearing mine. Thanks jack You don't need to understand horoscopes. Oh, we don't understand horoscopes or at least I don't excuse you Okay, I don't we don't need to understand them. They just are there's no understanding needed. It's our future It's our present and our past
Starting point is 00:09:17 It is everything and nothing all at the same time and I don't know about you, honey But um, I've got some good horoscopes lined up for tonight It is dna and celestial space dust. Listeners. She's doing like this thing with her hand. She's like waving it around She's trying to illustrate space dust. It is And is not that's all beautifully put. Yeah, it's a real Schrodinger's cat Of podcasts it is and is not but do not look at it For then it will cease to be you read your horoscope. It is you don't read your horoscope. It still is
Starting point is 00:09:54 That's what I know What else we got we got like uh four stars misleading title Erin is a woman meaning she cannot be the funny one because women aren't funny rude. Wow That's from p currie 5 23 Steve jobs. Get him Let's move right along five stars from billy joe eyelash Oh, I demand more content Erin and her husband are very entertaining young men
Starting point is 00:10:25 Thank you That was just confusing all over Thank you. We got five stars. So who cares? I love billy joe eyelash. It's one of my favorite poets And finally I have one last one. Okay Five stars. Yes bruh Da baby Da baby written by da baby on podcast. Oh my god, da baby Da baby
Starting point is 00:10:46 Allegedly da baby. Who knew kind of cool. We have got to get da baby on for an interview. Yeah, wood elf Asep right now. We have to get da baby on make it happen because we have quite we don't have questions I have plenty of questions. What's your first one? What would you ask da baby? Who was your biggest inspiration in life? Okay What do you think about before you go to sleep? Have you ever considered plastic surgery? Do you know your birth story? Not bad questions. What's your middle name?
Starting point is 00:11:21 Coolest as in da coolest baby You can't put words into baby's mouth. I'm you're right. I'm sorry. I I'm getting ahead of myself here. Nobody puts da baby in the corner. Jesus How long are you sitting on that? No, I just love it. It's pretty good. I hate to admit it That's pretty good. So those are some of our reviews and thank you very much listeners for leaving any reviews on Apple podcasts or elsewhere if you have apple and you're listening to us on apple podcasts Oh my gosh, please leave us a review. We'll read them. We'll read them And uh, maybe you'll get featured on another review segment. Yeah, who knows make make it clever. Make it interesting
Starting point is 00:12:00 Yeah, I want to hear what you guys have to say. Don't be a bully or or be a bully But be it like in a clever way be a clever bully. Yes. We'll take that. Yes the baby the baby So that's uh, that's reviews. All right jack film. It's time I'm a busy woman boss lady person girl boss girl boss And I haven't had time to read the news in days Just so busy So busy
Starting point is 00:12:30 Can you please tell me What in the world happened today? Honey, it would bring me Such pleasure to tell you what happened in the world today. Oh, thank you the top story. Yes that happened today Yes, hold on your butts. I'm holding this is kind of huge And they will be talking about this for eons Nintendo announced the new nintendo switch
Starting point is 00:12:57 OLED edition OLED or Oleg, do you say OLED or OLED? Oleg like this. We're gonna say OLED. Was that the snowman in frozen? Oh, Olaf. Oh, you were genuinely asking. Oh, yeah. Okay. Olaf. I was wrong I thought it was a frozen thing like it was like a I don't know. Yeah, it's the yes It's the Olaf. The kids still love frozen if you can believe it. Nintendo released the Olaf edition. It comes in Olaf colors Oh my gosh, wouldn't that be adorable?
Starting point is 00:13:24 What if it was Olaf shaped and it was like his belly that was the screen and you got to tickle him It would be like tickle me Elmo, but Olaf edition and you get to play mario on him That's every child's dream That's so cute They don't want to play with the snowman. They want to play on a snowman. Exactly You get to pinch his little buttons. Don't don't make it weird. Don't make it weird You just made it weird by saying no Olaf would be cool with it because now he would be so cool with it Wait, but okay, so sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself because now I'm excited for the Olaf version of the nintendo switch
Starting point is 00:14:05 This is almost as cool as the ps4 turbo, but what you're telling me is that it's not an Olaf Edition couldn't be further from that. Okay, so why what is what is it? so nintendo released the nintendo switch OLED model it's 349 99 coming this october and just to compare the current regular nintendo switch is 300 dollars the switch light Is 200 dollars, so this new one is 350 here are the differences It has a 7 in screen as opposed to the 6.2 in screen on a nintendo regular
Starting point is 00:14:41 Okay, the kickstand is larger. It has a much bigger kickstand in the back. Do people use the kickstand allegedly I know you don't know it has quote unquote enhanced audio don't know what that means and Like in the thing itself. I think in the thing itself. Yeah, because okay when we have a switch, you know I usually only use it when it's docked right and like on the tv screen, right? You don't take it out. No because you know why I don't take it out It's because of that stupid drift that happens. Oh, yeah, that's real. What no guess what guess what? That drift has started creeping to the switch light we have
Starting point is 00:15:23 I can no longer I play mario maker 2 on the switch. Yeah, that's because your fat fingers like I quite literally cannot run forward anymore It will not go right my little mario man will not go right So what do you do? I use the directional keys like a caveman the up down left right things Because I literally cannot use the joystick anymore. Very sad. There's more. Hold on. There is more about this thing The nintendo switch oled has a wired LAN port in the dock What's a LAN port? It's like an ethernet. Nobody uses that anymore. It allows you to hook up to the internet
Starting point is 00:15:55 Nobody hardwired nobody hardwires to the internet. Well, if you need like a little boost you can just nobody's playing like Intense online like that what they should have done is they should have worked on their wi-fi online multiplayer not the let's add a LAN so that they can fix the problem for us That's nintendo's way of making the consumer fix the problem for them as opposed to fixing Their own network. They were like, you know what? Why don't you just plug your ethernet in and then it'll work It's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, my gates have been open and my friends can't come to my island. Okay. Oh, that's right Okay, that's a problem that you need to fix nintendo
Starting point is 00:16:42 Don't tell me that I need an ethernet cable. You need to fix your network. What do you care? You haven't played animal crossing in a year. That's not true. I played on new year's eve Okay, so my friends couldn't come to my island. So I stopped like I was like, this isn't even fun It can't even show off my cool island. It wasn't that cool Well, here's the thing that LAN thing in the back That's kind of like standard for current consoles to have so when the switch came out It didn't come built in with a way to plug in your ethernet cable or to hard wire to the internet Whereas i'm pretty sure at ps4 ps5. They got them all the xboxes
Starting point is 00:17:17 They have nobody uses them because they don't need to I disagree people use them Who fucking nerds am I right? Who? No, uh, no people do people who need that high speed internet Why would they need that high speed internet? Because there are high speed uh multiplayer games online Tell me about nintendo's high speed multiplayer games that they have Splatoon fortnite all the shooters. No Shooters require a whole lot of speed. Nobody plays those games We all want to play mario kart and we all want to play animal crossing. Well, there you go mario kart. Yeah That's multiplayer online. Yeah, they should
Starting point is 00:17:53 No, you're distracting from the point the point is is that they should have fixed their network as opposed to just adding a LAN cable so that it can we can fix it for them It's more just like a standard thing that all consoles should have no no Yeah, the same way that they didn't have a dvd player in the we you Damn, that's true. Yeah, there's a lot of things that nintendo is supposed to have that comes quote unquote standard With other consoles that they just don't do why because I don't know why I don't know why Hey, speaking of the we you the we you had netflix. Guess what the switch doesn't have four years later. Yes. Thank you You're making my point for me
Starting point is 00:18:34 Thank you. I just wanted to say I'm by the way nintendo I would love to be A spokesperson for luigi's haunted mansion four. Yeah, we'd have back I really enjoyed luigi's haunted mansion four and way to walk it back captain toad's treasured tracker and uh All of the marios except for those dang galaxy ones. Those were so lame. Oh, you barely gave that was a chance I just I didn't like the whole walking upside down thing. I that just wasn't for me, but I love I love nintendo games I've loved animal crossing. I play stardew valley on it now
Starting point is 00:19:11 But what I'm saying is that you've got some flaws and you need to listen to the people as opposed to trying to get them To fix the problem for you. That's all. Thanks. Also. Think about the olaf thing. I think I might be onto something there That's free to use that's on the table nintendo. All right. Don't be a dummy get that disney cross promo money Are we going to be getting this console? No, because we did get a switch and a switch light We did but that was because of your greedy, um animal crossing habits Yeah, but because of your fat fingers now our switch light doesn't work. That's right. So Sorry, I like to mario. I mario hardcore, but here's the thing. Here's why gamers Are feeling very oppressed
Starting point is 00:19:50 Um, here's why gamers are upset. It's been four years since the launch of the original nintendo switch came out in 2017 Wow, and by now people were kind of expecting this has long been rumored like a new nintendo switch Has long been rumored for like over a year people were it's not that long people were expecting Like a 4k version of the switch something that supported 4k or some kind of graphical upgrade Maybe it can support 4k if you plug it in your land ethernet cable thing never use that voice again What the fuck was that princess? Why don't you recite the very famous steer mario we beg to a cake speech From the beginning of mario 64 in that voice. Thank you
Starting point is 00:20:40 That's like honestly it scares me because what you just did that's someone's fetish That was horrific You can make some only This is why we're rated explicit Okay That hard explicit You're the one using the fucking toadstool voice Jesus Does she even go by that name anymore princess toadstool yeah beach
Starting point is 00:21:11 Uh, I don't even know anymore I'm sure some nintendo nerd can tell you the the lore and the canon, but I don't know anymore To me. She's just the hottie with the body. So any who that's four years. Okay devaluing her worth. Okay, so So it's been four years since the launch of the original switch people wanted an upgrade because get this to put in comparison The playstation 4 the original playstation 4 launched in 2013 the ps4 pro Big upgrade launched in 2016 so nintendo people were like Yeah, it's time for like that mid cycle upgrade because some of these graphics are starting to look a little long in the tooth Nintendo just had their big e3 showcase and they showcased all the new games coming out and a lot of people are like damn
Starting point is 00:21:57 It's time for a graphical update You know the switch just can't really compete graphically with the big boys anymore But you don't need it to because they don't need it to there are games It's all about the games. Well, they're adorable little cartoon characters like luigi and his haunted mansions Luigi's haunted mansion three or luigi's. Oh shit. I'm doing what you did. That's what you kept calling That's what it's called luigi's mansion three is a really good game But is it not a haunted mansion? It is a haunt. Well, it's a really so it's really luigi's haunted luigi's haunted adventure Five. This is why I don't see us getting the nintendo switch
Starting point is 00:22:33 OLED because it's $350 it's $50 more than a standard Regular switch and it can't really do Anything else that the regular switch Already does except it has buttons that work probably No, no, that's a lot of people. My switch doesn't work A lot of people were like hey nintendo fixed the joy con drift and instead we just got a more expensive switch With a slightly larger screen and it sounds better allegedly
Starting point is 00:23:02 Maybe they fixed the drift and they don't want to admit they didn't well Maybe they don't want to admit that there was drift. I hear your point. I see what you're saying I highly doubt they fixed the drift that tokyo drift is still there. What are we gonna do about your fat fingers, man? That's the real I think there's a procedure that can be done What I'm hearing from you is just all all you're like, oh all these bad things with nintendo and the drift and I'm just like But really is that actually the cause of the problem? Or is it your fat fingers? I mean we live in LA. I'm sure we can see some doctor that can shrink these little sausages Do you remember there being a drift problem with the n64?
Starting point is 00:23:40 Because that was where the that little joystick thingy first came out if I remember correctly, that's correct And there were some times where I would pick up the game and there was drift It was never anything that couldn't be solved by restarting your n64 because that would be caused Like whenever there was drift in the n64 It was probably caused by leaving your controller on the table upside down So that little joystick is like pressing left all the time and when you know what I mean Like that's the new default whenever you turn on the n64. That's the default So now you know left is right or right is left. Whatever. So if I hear you correctly
Starting point is 00:24:15 What you're telling me is that you've had fat fingers since you were nine. Is that right? That's one mean way to put it But yeah, okay. Okay. I'm literally looking at my hands right. I just wanted to make sure that I had had the timeline right That's all make me really self-conscious good for not working out today or yesterday. Don't fuck you But but it's true So, yeah, um before I moved on I have one last question. What is something you want the nintendo switch to do? I want To be able To pinch the little buttons
Starting point is 00:24:51 On olaf's body Okay, that's what I want to be able to do I just want to piece the little and it and he'll giggle like a little pillsbury dough boy that he is Does he say something like that tickles? Oh, he sings a song You know the song you twist my nips to twist my nips. They're not nips. They're buttons. That's what he sings in frozen No, so that that's what I would like to see is that I am still really holding out for the nintendo olaf nintendo olaf not to be confused with a nintendo switch Oled no not to be no no
Starting point is 00:25:26 There you have it gamers listen to erin is the funny one the number one gaming podcast on spotify and apple podcast Only hardcore gamers need to fly We get in the weeds All right. Thank you for indulging me on my very techie thing. We're over tech now. Um, what else happened in the world today? Oh, no, that's all I wrote down. That was it. Oh my god But it's okay because I have I have something else I wanted to share with you You're pregnant
Starting point is 00:25:56 Yes, but you kind of just like I wanted to say it you kind of took that for me You know what I imagine you would be like as a dad Oh, let's go. What's that? You would be like marlin from finding nemo. I would I would be marlin You would be marlin from finding nemo. Where's where's my son? No, don't leave. Don't leave. Has anyone seen my son? Yeah, you would be like super overprotective Way too involved Yeah, so but happy happy to hear the news. That sounds exciting. I'm happy for you He was really good in this is 40. I mean he was he's good in every movie he does
Starting point is 00:26:32 He is wasn't even drive. Have you ever seen drive? I've never seen drive. We should put that on the list. You might hate it Okay, that's a movie where I've heard it's either great. Yeah, or it's this is the most boring movie I've ever seen very polarizing film. Yes. Yeah It's got your boy in it. Ryan Ryan. I mean, let's be fair. He's everybody's boy. Let's be fair Let's call a spade a spade. I would say he's like America's sweetheart, but he's a canadian So really he's america's canadian. He's america's canadian sweetheart, but also behind ryan reynolds and jesson thorough Wait, no He's not canadian. He's like from new jersey. What is uh
Starting point is 00:27:10 Trudeau I could I tried to keep up I couldn't I couldn't get there until you got there. You know who jesson trudeau is. I do who he is the king of canard I That was something I learned yesterday is that older Members of the british royal family don't share beds and they don't share they have separate bedrooms. You did say that. Yeah Yeah, that was wild wild because people were like super Suspicious about kate middleton being exposed to kovid, but
Starting point is 00:27:47 Only she had to quarantine and prince william who is her husband jack Um didn't need to quarantine and they were like, uh, that's hella sus like what's that about if you guys are married Why but apparently it's like the uk. It's a norm. Well, no Apparently they can still share a bedroom and probably still do share a bedroom maybe but the uk has said if somebody is exposed to it And only they need to quarantine so long as their family members are not experiencing any symptoms I see. Yeah, this is fun. Oh my god. Are all the rules fun? They're so fun. I'm learning a lot Me too
Starting point is 00:28:30 Okay, so jack so really what happened in the world today That's literally all I had written for what happened in the world today. You weren't joking. No, I was not joking That's all that happened in the world today. This is slow news day. That's not true. Yeah, that's simply not true I just told you some news that doesn't compare to the nintendo olaf How does that not compare? That's super interesting and hella sus, but also super interesting It's a little sus. Yeah, but I do want to move on honey How confident do you feel in the world of doling out life advice to our listeners who seek it? Um because I have picked out some good
Starting point is 00:29:06 questions from you guys, okay I On a scale from one to ten errands I feel like four funny errands, but so I I'm just gonna say whatever I say you have to take with a great assault. Okay. Yeah, that's my disclaimer For legal reasons. You need that disclaimer. Yeah, that's fair rated explicit Do we have a name segment for this like life? I don't I don't know
Starting point is 00:29:34 Do we jack? Well, no because you wanted to call it something real cool like Okay, Erin knows things. It was a no. I did not know you know me Apparently not hold on. Let me pull on my list. Please my suggested title of this segment could be advice from very smart responsible all knowledgeable Adults because that's what we are. We're very smart responsible and all knowledgeable We know all we are sages. We're kind of like golem in a way where we know the truth that is behind the ring and
Starting point is 00:30:16 We can dole out advice. I'm sorry. I'm gonna You literally chewed me out the other night For liking lord of the rings You can't compare anything to golem. I can compare us to golem. I sure as she can compare you to golem That's for sure hurtful, but also well. No, you know what? Yeah, I'll take it as a compliment because andy circus is a treasure Okay, also that title little wordy. You may want to cut down on the ring. No, it's adorable Nothing's adorable about that. I'm wordy. It sounds like a noble title. Well, that's the whole point. It's a sarcastic Khaleesi queen of dragons
Starting point is 00:30:56 That's the whole point bringer of terror. Do you not understand comedy? Do you not have a sense of humor on breaker of chains or breaker of chain Alexa? Tell me joke like what like what come on Freer of the imprisoned. Okay, so we have questions from our listeners That crave life advice from you and me, but some specifically from you Okay, our first question of the eve comes From the hiya gamer and they ask
Starting point is 00:31:30 How do you meet people after college like relationships friends, etc? And that's a good question. Dude. It's so hard. It is School kind of gives you a built-in buffer for meeting friends meeting new people So life after school. What do you do? I can say that we've met one of our closest friends through pub trivia. Oh my gosh. We did I've totally yeah, we did and he is a delight He is in our inner innermost friend circles and it's all because we went out frequently in the middle of the work week To some bar for trivia. He was on a competing team
Starting point is 00:32:07 and we had riled up some Competition and we became fast friends. We really did. It was pretty quick too another friend of ours. We met through Eric comment etiquette. Well, I guess so you knew comment etiquette through youtube, right? And we met another close friend of ours through comment etiquette I'm trying to think people like obviously your friends with people through youtube. I would say that the majority of friends that I've made at least outside of school
Starting point is 00:32:43 in adulthood I've met them at parties actually And it's kind of scary Meeting new people because it's like dating. Yeah, I guess it is in a way. Do you like me? Right, right. Do you want to see me again? Right? Can I see you again? Do you want to hang out? It is like dating Yeah, it's super like dating just without all the sex unless you got benefits But yeah meeting new people is hard. It is it's intimidating too It is tricky because I feel like there's no like right way to ask for like do you want to be friends?
Starting point is 00:33:15 But like, you know in your 20s and 30s, but parties I think parties go into bars And work honestly. Oh, yeah, actually, you know what that's true I'm actually friends with a lot of people that I work with I think that's probably the main way to post school I think you get a job you get a job and then you make friends to your co-workers make friends through co-workers And all of their circles. Yes, and hey, it ain't as bad as it sounds not as bad as no It really isn't it actually makes work more tolerable. Yeah, I do kind of consider my youtuber friends like co-workers I know it's weird but like
Starting point is 00:33:49 It's true. We're on the same field of work. We're on the same field. There's a mutual understanding Yes of what the job is so precisely. I guess that helps. It absolutely does We all know the expectations of the youtube gig We can all relate with like the struggles I mean, it does get a little complicated when one of you gets more popular than the other And then you have to kill each other or sabotage their channel, right? But we also understand like that's just the those are the expectations the name of the game, baby That's how you that's how you play youtube. You have a problem with it. Go talk to susan. All right
Starting point is 00:34:25 In the game of thrones you either win or you die or you're susan who wins every time Can we get a shout out to susan? Susan cheers So that question is answered one down 19 more to go kidding. Don't have 20. I have five This one comes from twitter user Tate not taut And they write specifically for erin because I trust her more. All right, obvi I need suggestions on how to propose
Starting point is 00:34:56 To my girlfriend. Okay Pressure's on. This is what you're gonna do. All right. You are going to inundate tia maury's twitter account with ads And you're gonna beg the terrible idea plead for tia To round up the cast of mistletones. You say that like it's a thing people know Nobody knows the movie mistletones. Well, if they don't know it, they better know it. They better get to know it
Starting point is 00:35:24 That's what no you say it so off-handedly like, you know, like I don't know lord the rings Mistletones for those who don't know mistletones is an abc family like original christmas movie formerly known as abc family It's now freeform a freeform original from like 10 years ago. I don't know if it's that old eight years ago. I don't It doesn't matter. We're getting off track How would you describe it? It's like a It's a delight. No, fuck you. How would you describe it? You describe it as like a musical christmas movie, right? Like I made for tv. Yes, it's a musical christmas movie and it's adorable and a delight It contains remixes on original christmas music
Starting point is 00:36:05 It contains new christmas music and by the way listeners. This is erin's All-time favorite christmas movie. Well top three. I like the family stone. Okay top five I love them up at christmas carol Uh-huh Mistletones, oh, and I love 12 dates of christmas. Okay, also an abc family also right formerly known as abc family Now known as freeform original christmas movie. I'm so excited for the christmas editions of this podcast We're gonna have to do like five christmas episodes. It's so good. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I listen to the soundtrack of the mistletones
Starting point is 00:36:45 Year round it does not fail That's true to put you in a good mood It is Like forget to a leap of people throw on tia maury and the cast of the mistletones That's it. It'll just turn your smile Wait upside Congratulations to play yourself You dumbass
Starting point is 00:37:12 Hey for the hey for those listeners who don't know who is tia Maury tia maury is a twin Of tamara maury and together They used to star on a 90s sitcom called sister sister That was about identical twins that were well Were they separated at birth? Oh, I don't know. Were they identical strangers? I think they were identical twins separated at birth One of them had a single father
Starting point is 00:37:41 One of them had a single mother. They all moved in pretty much Yeah, they all moved in together and Basically, you would think that the dad like would fall in love with the mom But as far as I recall that was not the case I think the dad kind of like hated them like not hated her but just like wow the dad was very straight laced and the mom was very Freeform ABC family. She was freeform
Starting point is 00:38:08 No, she was awesome. She was like way more fun to hang out with than the dad So and the dad was just like boring and like straight laced and like didn't want anything to do with the mom But like together they made a regular odd couple But they weren't together But their daughters were sisters or just I think I think they were twins separated at birth But really I can't remember. So anyway tia maury made up one half of the sister sister crew And tia maury went on to star in the mistletones, which is a delightful holiday movie that also stars tory spelling
Starting point is 00:38:43 And it is amazing. So what you're going to want to do is that the mistletones has an epic ending final scene Where there's a float and a band and it's a surprise most convoluted and and a romance and so what you're going to want to do is you're just going to inundate tia maury's twitter mentions and facebook page and instagram all the platforms and you're going to find her her pr person or her manager or her agent or whatever and you're going to find their email address and you're just going to inundate everybody with messages and communications begging them to get the cast of the mistletones back
Starting point is 00:39:23 and for them to recreate the final scene of the mistletones and you're going to use that final scene except that instead of the Australian guy that pretends to be an american guy in the movie You're going to propose as a surprise It's going to be you that turns around on that float with a ring in your hand And you're going to surprise your girlfriend But before you do that though what you need to do is you need to tell me You need to give me a heads up because I need to get to wherever you are
Starting point is 00:39:54 So that I can also be there in the audience I'll be one of the chorus members And I just I need to see this because this is also my dream And so you'll be living out my dream. And so there you go That's what you need to do to propose to your girlfriend. Tate. I need you to not do this, please because This is what erin wanted me to do for her Which I figured was impossible and this is why this is our last episode of the podcast Oh, no, oh no, she's walking off
Starting point is 00:40:29 No, Tate, please please do not do this because I will never hear the end of it And she was until we live to be 90 or 100 years old. She will just scream at me nightly Why didn't you propose to me this way? Tate, Tate, this is the ghost. This is the ghost of podcast past And and I tell you if you don't do this over credit for all of your days Tate, I'm begging you Tate Tate If you're a loyal listener, you will do me this solid and not propose to your girlfriend in this fashion
Starting point is 00:41:03 Tate, don't disappoint me. God damn it. Don't listen to that spirit Yo, that's like that's a bad spirit. That spirit's cursed. Oh, it's good. No, that's a bad spirit That's the spirit of death. You're gonna love it. YouTube it. No, that's like marley and marley spirit search mistletones final scene Yeah, I'll bet it's on youtube youtube. Yeah mistletones, which is a very great pun by the way Search up mistletones on youtube if you youtube search Mistletones final scene and or mistletones. Please come home You will find the exact reenactment of your future proposal. She's obsessed. She's obsessed. It's so good It's
Starting point is 00:41:44 It's so good. It's so good You're just jealous Tate if you pull this off, I will be jealous All right, so that's how you propose to your girlfriend. That was easy. Next question comes from house of dahlia How do I stay motivated? I feel like I get bored easily and I don't like that Oh dahlia, I am not the person to ask that because I feel like I'm in the same boat I think you're the perfect person to ask because you're in the same boat But I don't stay motivated. So but you find ways to you get your shit done. How do you do it?
Starting point is 00:42:18 What's your secret? What you need to do is you need to create some like indiana jones level of like danger and repercussion the only way to remain motivated is to have Some level of like if I don't do this then bad or if I don't do this then I don't know but you need to create like urgency I'll lose my job a giant boulder rolling down a hill that's about to crush you or
Starting point is 00:42:54 That somebody is going to steal the declaration of independence before you get to it. You need to create steaks steaks Or cage or cage Nicholas so this is what you do. No, it's not what I do, but I think that would help I'm so confused. Well, I don't stay motivated But I think if I did do these You're being humble though You do get like you get motivated enough though to like finish the tasks at hand Otherwise you would have been fired years ago, right like by this argument over time at work everything
Starting point is 00:43:30 But sure in this instance. Well, yeah, but I need to do those things. Those are all boulders rolling down a hill I need to get them done. They're all indiana jones, but if like for example tomorrow I need to submit my mid-year review that says like, what did you do? Well, what could you improve on or whatever and you have to do it? I have to do it It's not due until thursday. Okay. It was on my calendar to do today Chances are I'll probably be around wednesday night doing that stuff because that's when I have to do it So you just need to create a boulder rolling down a hill It has to be a real deadline too or you're gonna get in trouble
Starting point is 00:44:04 Like has to be real. That's pretty good advice boulder down a hill. Yeah, succinctly put love indiana jones How many indiana jones movies have you even seen? um when I was like very little I saw The scene where there was a person eating a heart and uh-huh that Was about it. That was my so you're telling me we need to put the indiana jones movies on our list I don't think we need to do anything. I think I don't need to wake up in the morning I don't need to actually go to work. Like I don't need to eat food Like I can do those things. No, you need to like to do those things
Starting point is 00:44:42 But like we don't need to watch indiana jones. I think we do because we have some listeners I'm taking a little tangent here. So what my lovely wife and I do Is we make a long long list of movies and shows to watch whenever a friend recommends something to watch We write it down whenever a new movie comes out on say like amazon prime that we're interested in we write it down So that we actually have a a literal list of movies and shows nobody cares Well, nobody cares. They cover the whole spectrum still they go everywhere from like mary v's town You know a critically acclaimed Netflix show I want to say to
Starting point is 00:45:19 Ernest goes to jail and everything in between. Wow. I think that's interesting. We have We have the iron giant. We also have 13 going on 30, which we already watched. I know, but this is like this is the point What are you sexy buff? What jack? What are you 10 pounds of hot in a five pound bucket jack? What are you? the host Ew Where I don't I genuinely don't know where you're going with this 30 flirty and thriving
Starting point is 00:45:50 Oh, I'm 30 flirty and thriving a line from 13 going on 30 and also just a mantra for life It is it is 30 flirty and thriving This is your homework listeners repeat this mantra to yourself at night in front of the mirror before you go to bed I don't care what age you are. I really don't you look yourselves in the eyes and you say I'm 30 flirty and thriving And goddamn if you don't wake up in the body of a 30 year old woman the next morning Uh, moving on so that's how you stay motivated. Yeah Our penultimate question comes from basil on twitter who writes basil
Starting point is 00:46:33 Basil basil. I just recently turned 18 and i'm starting to try out dating apps any advice for weeding out the good people From the others and this is interesting because this prompts a question for me that i'll introduce in a little bit But we have not really been on dating apps. That's not true. I was not on an app per se But I was on e harmony for a long time years How recently like six months ago? Damn cucked again. I Understand it was a little different than tinder because tinder is like very much looks based
Starting point is 00:47:10 And who am I kidding? It's all looks based, but like I do feel like there was a little bit more of like it You look at the profile. Yeah, you do a little bit more analysis. Sure, but what I would say Is that in order to weed out the the riffraff riffraff one This is horrible, but if it's too good to be true, it probably is. Oh, yeah No, that's a given. That's a given if it's too good to be true, then it is wait new saying if it's too good to be true It's probably a bot. No Two I would say that Make sure that you have a very
Starting point is 00:47:47 clear sense of what is important to you otherwise you will forgive Some things and you is in the royal you not just you like this is everybody You will forgive some things that at the end of the day you probably don't want to waiver on three if the pictures
Starting point is 00:48:10 Creep you out There's two routes. Okay You either call them out on it and see how they respond and maybe it could start a funny conversation Right or or a swipe left. Yeah, I don't even know the direction of swipe. I think it's left. I think left is bad swipe left Sure. Yeah, I think swipe right is good. Yeah, and we don't know because we both got together before the tinder generation Like right before like it was right at the onset of tinder. I never swiped a tinder picture in my life. Unfortunately I have I know you have four for friends for friends. Yes. That's what well. That's what she tells me For friends zoinks, right? So innocently when I saw this when I pulled this question from basil
Starting point is 00:48:51 It made me think of a follow-up question What are some red flags? Oh my gosh in a tinder profile? For example Red flags you see something in a tinder profile and you go yuck. No next swipe left or swipe whatever For me or for like other people because like Oh, I how about you specifically? I would say that for me I don't like when
Starting point is 00:49:18 Guys when he's married. No. Oh, yeah. Well, I just that I don't necessarily like when guys stipulate like what they're looking for from Either a looks stamp like I don't know even though I I'll tell you this please I felt as though when I was on a dating website I felt as though I checked a lot of boxes But like I felt like people liked me for what I was not who I was And now I've come to like resent people who like stipulate what they're looking for from a like
Starting point is 00:49:54 Must be this must be that must be that like because I think that if you actually approach A relationship with like an open mind. Yeah, obviously we all have like can't Women don't kill animals. We have some absolute. Yeah, but little things that like are a little bit more flexible and like Yeah, maybe they don't have a career right now But they're also young and they don't need to have a career right now Like I think we can be a little bit more forgiving about stipulations like that because especially because a lot of it depends on the phase That they are in in their lives So a red flag to me would be that because that means that like being hard set in your ways hard set in like
Starting point is 00:50:38 Gotta be this Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the best way to put it must be six three Yes, hard set in superficial ways because those could be phases That's all flexible stuff And I think that it removes a good portion of the population that May be a good partner mate. Yeah friend Spout like whatever that is
Starting point is 00:51:02 I think you're like Narrowing the field when those things might not necessarily be as important to you as you think it is no mustaches Yeah, stuff like that's obviously a phase or it maybe it's not but like it could be I hear you I hear you Yeah, so being a little bit, you know more open-minded. I would say also any for me Anybody who posts a shirtless pic you're out. Sorry. Oh, wow. Wow way to go back. I know I just went from like but like that to me says that you what if they're confident they're confident in their body Yeah As somebody who will never ever be confident in their body
Starting point is 00:51:43 I Regardless of weight size shape whatever like ever never ever have I ever been confident in it? I just I don't I don't know. I don't know. I don't I just don't think it would work for me That's me. You asked for my opinion. So if I posted a shirtless pic, is it curtains for us? No, it'd be curtains for you. Have you seen your chest hair? Oh my god It's real. Yeah, it's gaston like not the physique just the chest hair. No, the chest hair is the curtains Disgusting to make curtains out of the chest hair It's disgusting
Starting point is 00:52:20 our final question From life advice with erin and jack, but mostly erin comes from Whomst you they simply write Capitalism makes me sad. Oh my gosh. I listen. This is a topic that has been at the forefront of my mind for the last That's why I picked it Few weeks hardcore for you weeks and I'd share with you what sparked it But I probably can't if I'm being honest. Well, then how about this? Can I at least share just a
Starting point is 00:52:51 Assemblance of a story that I think is a little amusing sure the last couple of weeks you've been very vocal about your hatred and your distrust of capitalism In the world and in our country. It's mostly the disparity of wealth. Yes. Yeah, that's that's really it That's a nail in the head there. Yes, and I prefaced the story with that because the other night I was trying to share with erin this cool space fact that I had learned In a youtube video like a science youtube video and when I say space fact, I mean like it was all about the universe How fast the universe
Starting point is 00:53:31 Is expanding how galaxies are moving further away from us and how some matter on the outer rim of our observable Universe is moving away at us at speeds greater than the speed of light somehow I didn't quite understand it, but I thought it was fascinating and I was And I was just about to tell her About another space fact I had learned about the largest stars in the universe when you kind of you kind of broke down a little and And and proceeded to for the next 30 minutes or so talk about the evils of capitalism And I just wanted to share some goddamn space facts
Starting point is 00:54:19 Well, you're getting existential and so I just it led right into it. I got emotional You made fun of me for crying. I did not make fun of you. You were like, are you crying right now? I didn't say I was like, yeah, I'm crying. You make me sound like an 80s movie bully. I didn't say it like that Are you crying so meaningful? No, it was more like I was taking it back. I was like, oh my god Honey, are you crying because I didn't I didn't know like that talking about Hatter space and galaxies and shit would lead to this this this rant. This is such a deeper topic Then What you have bargained for
Starting point is 00:54:58 But all I will say is this is that it has become overwhelmingly apparent to me over the course of the last year that Even when people say We are all in this together We are not And every day I think I have a new story for you about Like today I came into the office today and I told jack. Can I tell you about what amazon did today our home office? Yes, yeah, we work in separate bedrooms in our house. So we call we call both of those rooms the office
Starting point is 00:55:32 So I just was like, can I tell you about what I found out that amazon did today? Uh, apparently they killed two small portland delivery companies that were literally working them into unsafe conditions And the delivery companies were like, we're not willing to do this anymore. Wait, this is getting so dark This is like heavy, but this is what they asked for they hoomstie on twitter I'm not even sure that hoomstie knows why capitalism makes them sad. Let me just say this. Okay. I have been working in for publicly traded companies and in the workforce Really full time for the last 12 years 14 I guess if you include the summers that I interned it really hit hard
Starting point is 00:56:16 this past year how Unequal things are and all I'm gonna say is that I think there is an increased knowledge of that Happening whereas, you know people that work for amazon are saying no We won't work under these conditions and they're like we'd rather shut down our business than work for you That's where people are getting at and I am Hoping that there is good change that comes out of this and I am hoping that companies
Starting point is 00:56:53 Start to listen to the workforce on a more serious basis And by serious, I mean it needs to be a valid point. It can't be self-serving. It needs to be a valid point, but in other words dude I think we've abused the system and it makes me sad too. I appreciate the validation Yeah, you're not alone honey, and you're not alone hoomstie, and I love your username It's a good ass username Hey on a lighter note
Starting point is 00:57:30 I think it's time we kick things into gear with our ending recurrent segment horoscope Are we already there? We're already there. We're already there party time Excellent And ladies and gentlemen, I am extremely excited for this horoscope segment in particular because it's the first one It's taken three podcasts. Hey, but we got there. We got there It's the first one where I think we're actually going to do it right as I intended from episode one. Here's how it works There are 12 zodiac signs
Starting point is 00:58:05 Right, and I've written six horoscopes You've written six horoscopes. I have and do you know which one I started with cancer cancer season Hell yeah There it is Celebrate it and we're finally going to do it the way I wanted to since episode one. We are going to take turns blindly Reading horoscopes that the other person has written for us not knowing
Starting point is 00:58:32 Not knowing truly not knowing what the other person has written. I am so excited I've been waiting weeks to do this. We're finally here. Who should go first? Well, you are going to read mine first because I started with cancer and then we're going to go chronologically Through the zodiac done. I love that. Okay, great. Great. Great. Great cancer You must be exhausted from just being so awesome all the time cancer More like you're so special and amazing that they named the actual earth's upper tropical hemisphere latitude thingy after you
Starting point is 00:59:14 Today make sure to look inward and treat yourself because you deserve it queen great work I think it's a little I don't know you said You deserve it queen. Not everyone's a queen, but that's fine. Everybody's a queen. That's fine. Everybody knows that everybody's a queen I'll allow it Leo Find hot single girls in your area Click here to meet some hubba hubba
Starting point is 00:59:46 Awoo Boingy boingy hotties that live super close to you No, really, there's a 10 right behind you. Her name is Jennifer with a g and she's super into healing crystals Doesn't have two braids tells to rub together But she loves the show the masked singer and jumps up and down like a child Oh, I like Jennifer. She's very simple and she's all Yours were you inspired by the Caitlyn Jenner mask singer clip that we watched? No, I was not inspired
Starting point is 01:00:28 I actually wanted to make like a little youtube short about the masked singer for a while Just because I think it's a very dumb simple show that I don't think anyone actually watches No, I think people watch it. I yeah, I was gonna I was gonna make like a mean sketch about it And then I didn't so that's my mass singer joke Virgo Remember that time bill Murray broke into your house and ate all the uncrustables In the freezer without thawing them, but then told you no one would believe you Well karma's a real bitch because I heard he has a stomach ulcer now
Starting point is 01:01:10 Anyway be safe today Virgo because uncrustables are delicious Not sponsored and it'd be real sad if that happened again Holy shit. You get so many points for uncrustables Uh, good job, honey. That was a good horoscope. Thank you. Well, no the star. I mean, I I know nothing to do with it I'm sorry. Hey, good job universe. Good job universe. Yes for throwing that in my lap and really throwing karma in bill Murray's lap That's what he gets. That's what he gets for saying, you know, one will believe you that is karma Libra
Starting point is 01:01:48 You will get a phone call from a nervous sweaty little nerd named Pippington He will try his best to do the classic. Is your refrigerator running? gag But he'll mess it up and get tongue tied at the word refrigerator courage him and let him finish
Starting point is 01:02:12 Because that little boy He will someday invent pornhub two. Yo, that's crazy. He's the one that's gonna invent pornhub two Pippington listeners remember the name pippington pippington pornington That's his name. It's not fair That's really good Listeners remember pippington pornington that name might not mean much now, but it will but it will Scorpio Venus is in lockstep with a big bloated Saturn today's Scorpio
Starting point is 01:02:44 And those two numb skills are doing you dirty. Make sure to reevaluate everything in your entire life Are you actually happy in your relationship? Absolutely not dump that loser Do those shoes look good on you? Probably not better go barefoot Think about how much freer you will feel when you are no longer constrained by relationship and footwear aka the patriarchy You're welcome Yeah, cancel all men. Good job, baby. I can't believe the patriarchy convinced us to all wear shoes You know, it's disgusting. Honestly. It's horrible. You know, I don't subscribe to it
Starting point is 01:03:22 I mean, I haven't wore shoes since March 16th 2020. You haven't wore shoes yet. No, I'm never sure The shoes too in theaters now by DreamWorks Complete the duology Those rascally shoes up to no good You idiot Sagittarius Is it just me or did that last horoscope suck? Anyways, do you remember Christine from middle school the one that smelled like feet?
Starting point is 01:03:52 She just bought a tesla Pretty cool, right? I don't have a horoscope for you. Fuck you Oh, wow Straighten to the point. What does that mean? Christine has a sugar daddy. So like whoa normalized sugar daddy Capricorn Do you hear that capricorn? That's the sound of your dreams being crushed by a 16 year old tick tocker
Starting point is 01:04:19 Who is making more money from selling teeth whitening strips than you'll make in a lifetime Don't worry capricorn There's always the next lifetime sad face Jesus christ I mean no lies detected. None of that was uh, untrue. I mean those fucking tick tockers No cap also capricorn like cancers like the top Like tropic
Starting point is 01:04:46 Right latitude thingy right capricorn is the bottom one. I feel like they did that on purpose. You know what I mean? like it was like They just knew Capricorn was doomed Remember that all that latitude longitude shit. You know how like that rap goes like I started at the bottom now We hear but now I'm still here because I am the tropic of capricorn. I don't move from that bottom like Yeah, I bob my head to that rap very hard. Oh I feel for them, you know
Starting point is 01:05:18 Aquarius Oh no That's it inside your nose. Oh my god. I hate when I get That's it inside your nose just keeps getting bigger Don't pop it. It's not ready yet. It may never be ready But definitely don't pop it now Don't touch it. Oh god. You touched it. Didn't you you stupid? bitch
Starting point is 01:05:47 No wonder you can't get a date Now look at you. What a mess. You stupid dumb sit nose dumb dumb Your spirit numbers are 53 and 4. Oh, okay. Remember that. Okay. Lucky numbers. Cool Thanks Aquarius. Oh, this is so much fun. This is exactly as good as I thought it would be I'm so happy if we're doing it, right? And all I took is three weeks Pisces You know how when you let go of a balloon and it floats up up in a way until the atmosphere pops it I think Well
Starting point is 01:06:24 That's what is about to happen to you. If you don't get your head on straight Pisces Bend and snap your way back into reality. You smug little bitch Also, stop letting go of balloons you litterbug. I'm gonna call Greta on your ass Is that you say Greta? Do you don't know Greta? I know Greta. I just want to make sure it was like Greta not Greta Yeah, don't call Greta on my ass. I'm gonna call Greta. No, please don't stop. Stop letting go of balloons and I won't call Greta Okay, I fear her wrath Love is on your side today You will be visited by three spirits tonight
Starting point is 01:07:06 The first will show you your past misdeeds The second will show you your friends talking mad shit behind your back The third will show you exactly where and when you die before yelling no take backsies And running away Wow Now you know how you die. That's crazy Do you want to go out with me? Also
Starting point is 01:07:31 Am I The first ghost I am the ghost of podcast past You're more of a marley and marley ghost. Well, that's rude. Well, you warn people you warn people of what's coming No, you don't like that. Well, that doesn't fit with the ghost of podcast past does it? No, not at all I just wanted to pick one that wasn't what you said torus Whatever you visualize today will likely materialize in the near future torus
Starting point is 01:08:02 So get your ass off a wiki feet for your own good Tourses can't help it wiki feet has all the feet pictures I know from years and years. Do you have a wiki feet page get this not only do I and this is true Not only do I have a wiki feet page It's somehow so they rate you out of five stars, right? My rating literally is somehow over five stars. It's like five point two guys. I know I don't know why I've seen them up close I have felt those talents Under the sheets in the middle of the night
Starting point is 01:08:35 That is not an over five stars. No, no, no, okay. No listeners beat that is at three point two tops At least it's a three. Thank you for that. Uh, but no the the the viewers of wiki feet the purveyors the enjoyers of wiki feet have Somehow gifted me a rating above five stars even though five is the maximum I don't know how that's fake news statistically possible But if you go to that so what I hear you saying is that you hacked wiki feet. Yes, is that right? Ah, shit. I just admitted it Also, I guess I'm a little bit like well, then why didn't you help my score out because I have beautiful Ain't nobody give a shit about your feet. I have beautiful feet
Starting point is 01:09:11 Gemini I know I should be reading this last horoscope But I just want to take a moment and set the record straight I'm a gamer girl at heart And I'm not ashamed to admit it I I love gaming on my sick ass triple monitor pc
Starting point is 01:09:33 Straight up no scoping some noobs while snarling down some g fuel extremeberry I have a 20 terabyte hard drive with more ram than you can cram in a room full of normie comps Wow, and when it comes to the hit game a mom When it comes to the hit game among us, I will not hesitate to call you sus even if I'm the imposter So either get with it or get out of the way Because mama needs to buy some new skins and call a duty mobile edition
Starting point is 01:10:13 My dad works For nintendo. What that's insane. Wait, what does that have to do with gemini? Well, well, I don't know honey. You tell me you're the one You're the one that just wanted to set the record straight wait you went off script there for a second I hate you talked about how you're a gamer girl Which is cool. I actually really applaud that I support that I just I don't know why you didn't read my gemini horoscope Listen, let me just let me also set the record straight if my dad worked for nintendo You best believe there would be an Olaf version switch
Starting point is 01:10:49 Coming out this year. Okay. It all comes back, baby. Okay. It all comes back Oh, how beautiful I would not let my father make that mistake What a callback when he could be he could have been promoted like seven times over for just that one invention You guys can't see this, but I'm twisting Olaf's buttons aka tweaking the nips. Okay. They're buttons. Sure. They are That's what Olaf will say to you. They're buttons. Don't worry gamer. They're not my Nipples I hate you Starting at 439 99
Starting point is 01:11:24 Nintendo Olaf in other words gemini. Good luck. The stars are unclear of your future right now Yeah, we didn't have a horoscope for gemini. I don't know how that happened. I had it right there My wife read, you know, she she went off book, you know a little embarrassing, but whatever it's it's her podcast too Listeners, thank you so much for attending our third episode guys. This was the second to last Cancer season party that we are throwing. That's right. Which means we have to do it up next time We have to do it up big next week. Please join us That's gonna be yours, right? That'll be yours honey. It's mine. Hello. I like embody cancer season. Okay So we are gonna do it big
Starting point is 01:12:08 We're gonna get the dogs on I know dogs could talk I have a jeffrey bezos is gonna call in Um, really? Yeah, he's gonna announce his charity program about Unfortunate people that want to go into space Wow, that's great. I know it's super generous of him. Wow. Yeah And we're gonna talk about more Fun cancer things
Starting point is 01:12:38 We're I'm very convinced We are going to Make jacks films do a blind taste test. Oh damn I'm actually very excited for that of whether or not he can tell what is red wine and what is white wine So insulting, of course, I can but stay tuned. I guess and we are gonna basically just throw a banger party So hope to see you there guys. Please come you're all invited to our banger party It is after all the last cancer season episode of our gall dang podcast
Starting point is 01:13:12 And you don't want to miss it and i'm still debating whether or not we're gonna celebrate leo season So I guess if you're a leo tweet at me at two toes up the number two toes up uh on twitter Let me know make your case should be celebrate make your case. Yeah, should be celebrate leo season Why should we I'd love to know until next time listeners Take care be good Bye godspeed

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