Erin is the Funny One - Semi Charged Kind of Wife

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

Erin looks to the hotline to cure her sleep walking and shares a traumatic top bunk experience. Jack talks about a meme that hits a little too close to home and spawns a heated debate. Listeners get a sneak peek at A Very Girlboss Christmas table read. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I'm your co-host Jack Douglas joining me as always without fail. No matter how hard we try, my wife. Well, I'm not so sure that I'm okay with the disrespect that you are just dishing week after week after week. Jack, are you aware of something, an epidemic, if you will, occurring right now called the great resignation? Oh, God, it's all TikTok talks about. Well, it's all TikTok, TikToks about.

If I continue to feel this disrespect, you know, one of these weeks I'm gonna come on here and I'm gonna great-resignate, okay? You mean... If you're not careful, you're gonna lose me, okay? You mean I'd be free to do whatever I wanted on the podcast? Oh, no, don't threaten me with a good time. Yeah, Jack, enjoy, because you're so entertaining by yourself. The most. Maybe this week will be the week that I great-resignate, okay?

Let's roll a dice and see. So it is our 11th episode, lucky number is 11. I will say 11 is my favorite number. It is. Once upon a time, I was a very, very superstitious little girl of a mere 34, and I may or may not always set all of my alarms so that they add up to the number 11. That way, I have a good day, because if they didn't add up to 11, you're playing with the gods, man. It's a bad day.

This is real, by the way. She sets our alarms for like either 8.03 or 7.22. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Or 7.31. I remember one time somebody asked me, like, well, what if, but like, what if it doesn't work? Like, what if it doesn't add up? And I'm like, it always adds up.

What do you mean if it doesn't work? You make it work. You make it work. You make it work. So yeah, this is episode 11, or as I like to call it, an errand's dozen. You know what? I'll take it. Yeah.

Mostly because 11 is a very lucky number. So there you go. Thank you. What does Ernie get? Bag of lumps. I don't know. Do we have to get Ernie anything? Yeah, she's my social media manager.

She works very hard. Nah. This is why I'm going to great. Resignate the disrespect by what a jerk. Uh, guys, I just, I do want to give you a little bit of a peek behind the curtain. Every time we record, we try to set the stage for ourselves because we're hosting a party. Hello.

So before every episode, we really like rock out and jam to some cool hot tunes. Oftentimes it's like Dua Lipa. Lizzo. Lizzo also makes the playlist quite a bit. Tonight, I do just, I just want to let you guys know that I'm already kind of starting off a little bit perturbed. So confrontational. Because Jackfilm here decided to pregame with a mashup.

A mashup. That's what I guess you would call it. A mashup of semi-charmed life by third eye blind. And I saw the sign by Ace of Base, which Jackfilm, did you look that up? No, no, no. It literally just came to me. No, it didn't. I swear.

I swear. No, you didn't know. No, I didn't at the time. I did not at the time. It made me so mad because you were like, who's that? And I just kind of smiled. I knew who it was. I wasn't asking you who it was.

I was seeing if you knew who it was since you were making me listen to I saw the sign by Ace of Base, a mashup of semi-charmed life, which by the way, guys, I'm pretty sure like half of my sleepwalking problems is because I'm haunted by semi-charmed life because it's all that plays in this house like over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. That's true. It's not haunted by semi-charmed life. Oh my goodness.

And by the way, I saw the sign is a wonderful song, but Jack does not appreciate that song for what it is. And so the fact that he kind of diverted our pregame party mix. It was a good mix. For that mashup of songs. And then he didn't even know who actually even sang. I saw the sign. Hi guys.

I'm feeling a little perturbed today. And so. Oh my gosh. Look at that mountain over there. Oh, it's just a molehill. The molehill. It's just a molehill. So lucky numbers to 11.

Yes. Yes. And on my lucky number episode, no less. I didn't even get to pick the songs that we pregame to. I guess we're off to an unlucky start. So how about I lighten the tone a bit because honey, you know, I will say that I watched a Jack film video this week and you did admit that you've never bought gifts for anybody else besides yourself.

Right. And so I'm thinking true, but all right. I'm it's totally true. So I'm thinking that, you know what? It's probably just part of your brand that of course you would pick the pregame song before we start. Oh my goodness episode ever. My goodness already being thrown under the bus.

I'm already the villain of this episode. That was quick. I mean, what do you mean that was quick? You like started off as the villain. You are the that's your role. You've all you've always held that role. It's mud slinging is what it is. I don't know what that means.

It means what you're doing right now. But I'm just I'm a truth teller. I'm the bigger man, the village truth teller. I'm here to tell you're the village something. I'm here to give the peak behind the curtain and to tell the truth. Well, moving on from this slander and antagonizing. Hey, honey, what you drinking? Well, I haven't drank any yet.

But what I have in front of me here is a nice tall glass of a white wine that Jack mystery Jack film has so consciously and thoroughly researched and he hand selected for us. I did this week. Could you tell us a little bit about what I am about to drink? It would be my pleasure. This caught my eye in our local liquor store. It is merely called conundrum white. It's a 2018 bottle.

Here's the description written not on the bottle, but rather on a sign next to the bottle that I found in the store that caught my eye. This wine is both exotic and bright. A blend of Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Simulon, Muscat, Cannelly. Can we rewind? Can we go back to what was that one? Oh, it's what I just said. Some semi-simulon.

Oh, you're a big fan of that, right? One of my favorite liquids. It lures you in with a sense of apricot pear and honeysuckle. And if you're paying attention, orange and lemon meringue pie. Oh, I love pie. Initial sweetness is balanced by natural acidity. And we love the hint of oak that plays with the flavors of peach, apple and citrus. The long finish will leave you longing for another glass.

So that's conundrum. I wonder if they ever copy and paste those descriptions for like all of the wines. That would be genius. I could never tell. There's no way whoever wrote that description like actually tasted all of those things unless they truly are living in a conundrum. Don't you dare. So this wine, long story short, this wine is like, it's a white wine,

but I can't classify it as a chardonnay or a sauvignon blanc or even a must cat. Yeah, no shit. It's a blend. Because that's literally the point. It's like conundrum, one would say. So, honey, why don't you have a sip? Why don't you have a sip of your conundrum? Can I just tell you, I have a feeling that like this vineyard winery, whatever,

the people that made this wine, while I'm sure a ton of hard work and labor and love went into this bottle. This has to be like, they use like the grapes that like weren't good enough to make like just a chardonnay or just a sauvignon blanc. So they were like, we'll just throw it all together. They won't be able to tell the difference. I mean, probably, but that's disgusting, but also probably very likely. Okay.

Have a sip. I am about to take my first sip of this 2018 conundrum of conundrum, conundrum. It's a fun word to say. She's sipping. Oh, she looked away and disgust, but intrigue, much like that TikTok. Um, okay. Wow, there's a lot going on here. Yeah, right off the bat.

That is a smell. That's like a smell and a half. You, Jack, don't even try. Jack, you, Jack, you have nose blindness. Spilled some on my knee. You've nose blindness. It's quite a smell right off the bat. It just caught me off guard.

I just wasn't expecting it to be pungent, but it's not pungent. Like we had a few weeks ago with the grassiness. Uh-huh. It's just pungent. Um, but how does it taste this conundrum? Yeah. No, I got, I got to tell you, there's like a lot of, there's a lot going on here. There's a lot of flavors.

I should hope so. I, I don't even know where to begin. Yeah. I'm not kidding. Uh, maybe this person did taste all those things. There's a lot happening here. It's 13.4% for those wondering for our more inquiring listeners. I would definitely say it's like lighter bodied.

Yeah. I think that's why I like it more on the tart side. Uh-huh. Tart like a lemon. It's definitely got a citrusy thing going on, but uh, much like a lemon. I don't know if I would buy it again personally. I think I like it. This is not a good Tuesday wine for me.

I think I like it more than you. Yeah. I think you do too. It's for our listeners. It's only $18. Well, we paid $18 for it, $17.99. But according to this app, it says that the average person paid $19.99 for it. Okay.

Also, something interesting about this bottle. I was getting to that. Yes. Is that it's a full leader. It's huge. It's a giant bottle, uh, by like wine bottle comparison. Yeah. A standard wine bottle is 750 milliliters.

So three quarters. I'm a leader. Mill. Mill. Leader. I found the neck beer. A grill on the podcast. Milliter.

But, uh, yeah, it's a, it's a big freaking bottle. So it's giant. Yeah. It's an ogre of a bottle. It really is. But it's a real conundrum. Yeah. We'll get through this glass and then we'll see where we go from here.

I'll take whatever you don't finish. Babe. Yes. Yes. And there's a whole 250 milliliters more where that came from. I have it. I feel like, okay. The addition of it being like a larger bottle to me, like further like in my

mind makes me think like, yeah, they just need to get rid of these grapes. Like they're like, yeah, just like throw in more than you would usually just like they get rid of it. As much as I hate agreeing with you, that's a really convincing theory. It is. It really is. We just need to get rid of this shit. Honestly, the bottle's heavy.

It's huge. Like barely fitting our little wine rack. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a 10 out of 10 from you. Is that right, Erin? Uh, I'd actually give this one a five out of 10. I'd give this a five out of five.

This might be my lowest rating yet actually. Seriously. I, I don't know. I like this a lot more than the rosé we've had previously. Yuck. You just don't like it because it's pink and you're a misogynist. Hit the nail on the head. Once again, Milita, Milita honey.

Yes. That's me kind of sort of. I figured it's been a while since we've last read our lovely listeners reviews of our podcasts and I've pulled up just a smidgen of some of the reviews people have left us on Apple podcasts. Great. You know, sorry. I'm still thinking about the great resignate and still on that.

I would love to read people's resignation letters. I'd love to see if anybody made them spicy, but that's just me. I'm just looking for that spice lately. I hear you. Aren't we all? Well, speaking of spice, I got some spicy reviews here spicy ones. Five stars from extremely dissatisfied customer. Okay, but they still gave five stars.

The subject is money talks. That'd do. I've never felt dumber than when I found out I didn't know FDR was on the dime and Jefferson was on the nickel zero out of 10. Oh, but oh, that's what they meant by money talks. I love that. I think that should be a segment in the podcast itself called money talks and we just quiz each other on like who's on the this who's on the that

and then once we've run out of like, you know, the five we keep going because we always forget. Yeah. We just like we recycle the same five question. It's like my if that it's like if my miles on the 10 quiz just repeated the same 10 questions every day, but people always got them wrong because they're dumb. He's like, this is miles on the tick tock 10 quiz.

This is week 74. Who is on the US? Nicole Sadie Hawkins. Who is Sadie Hawkins? Haven't thought about her in about 20 years. That's because nobody invited you to that dance. Fuck you. Hey, hey, five stars.

Yeah, we're reading reviews. I forgot five stars. Bad podcast. Maybe look up alphanies gross. Hey, he's adorable and he deserves all of our love. Oh, here's another one. Three stars. He got right.

He single-handedly got rid of the rat problem in the backyard. He would. Yeah, he would. Three stars. Almost great. The only reason this isn't five stars is due to Aaron's terrible taste of music. Genuinely angered me.

Hold on. What is wait? What is my horrible taste of music? I actually don't know what they're referring to specifically. I had numerous people tweet at me and say, What the fuck is a Dave Matthews band? That's so weird because those are the people who have no taste of music. No, those are the people that should be coming at you for your terrible taste of music.

Well, they don't because even they know they're smart enough to recognize that even if they don't know who or what Dave Matthews is, they know that anything that comes from me is just pure class, like S-class taste. But this person just genuinely does not like your music taste. I'm sorry. My jaw is literally on the floor right now. It's all right.

I kind of hit the desk there. I'm sorry. What did you say about you being classy? Not much else. Just me equals class. Has anybody actually ever said that you equal class? Oof, man. What did I call you earlier today?

A classy son of a gun. Jack, Jack, what did I call you earlier today? I said you look like. A dickweed? No, well, that too. I did. Oh, you called me a slobby Bobby as of this as of this recording. I have not had a haircut in a very long time and I think I look great,

but my wife is not exude class Jack. I don't know. Long hair is coming back. It's not classy sassy. It's slobby Bobby. Okay. Anywho, your taste of music sucks. Moving on.

Five stars. Aaron is wrong. Jack is absolutely correct that the Chamber of Secrets is the worst Harry Potter movie. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not good. I'm not even going to waste my time arguing this again, but because it just doesn't deserve my.

I guess that's a great resignation. Shut up. No, this. I won't even dignify that with this. I know you won't. No, this is bullshit. It just it doesn't the argument doesn't deserve my oxygen. People that don't agree with me don't deserve oxygen.

So you guys are wrong. Get get get out. Get get get Aaron. Yes. Five stars sopping with sarcasm. Yeah. It's wet with a wit. Oh, I hope you do many more podcasts.

Oh boy. That's all for that one. So I'm there's so much imagery associated with that. You know that this wet anything wet sopping your mind wanders. I immediately go to dammit. I still haven't learned all the lyrics to WAP, you know, but it doesn't stop you from trying not for lack of trying. I'm never going to be able to do it at karaoke now.

You will someday. Hey, Jack, Jack, Jack. Yeah, certified freak. Listeners, she makes me listen to this fucking song every time we go to the gym together. It's a feminist anthem. Okay. No, it's great.

It's great song. Yeah, it is great. Aaron. Yes. Five stars a fun ride. I feel like Jack and Aaron's surrogate son who is forced to hang out with them. Oh, I feel like that too. Actually, here's a good one.

Five stars Sauvignon Blanc at Aaron's husband's suggestion. I'm currently, I'm currently downing an entire bottle of Monkey Bay Sauvignon Blanc. It's got an earthy yet aptly taste with notes of walnut and maybe some dried ebbs. Aaron's husband did a good job introducing me to the idea of this wine. Five stars for Aaron and her husband and also their podcast is good too. Wow.

Aaron's husband. I like the sound of that. I'm not crazy about it, but I'll let it slide. And finally, we have one final lengthy review. It's like all those times that we, we used to stay in our past lives when we used to stay at hotels and anytime we'd get room service, they'd referred to you as Mr. Breslin because I would always do the booking and reserving the rooms

because you're a deadbeat that doesn't make reservations for anything. And every time I hung up, I would go to you and say, wow, Mr. Breslin. Remember life before 2020? Not really. Me neither. This is the last one. Five stars.

This comes from Minivan Mom 420. I'm, this is, I'm a Christian mom. Nice. I don't listen to podcasts very much, but I will be listening to this one. So many podcasts stick to one subject and run it into the ground, but this stays fresh because you talk about many different subjects. Also as a side note, I listen to this podcast in my Minivan with my kids. Nice.

Usually when taking them to soccer and I really don't like the explicit sexual content and not to mention the profanity. Y'all need Jesus. My kids were scarred by hearing about how your wife wanted to twist Olaf's nipples. They were Buttons. Okay. They wore it nipples.

They were Buttons. No, I'm with a Christian 420 Van Mom here. Oh my gosh. That actually sounds like it could have been written by comment etiquette. Oh, it does. It has that ring. Yeah. Rocket ship.

So, so good. Thank you Christian mom. We will take your advice under advisement. And that's right. We may or may not think about not doing an E for Ernie episode, but thank you so much for the unsolicited feedback starting now. No more cursing. No more sex talk and go.

I'm holding my breath because we weren't supposed to talk about why are you looking at me like that? I'm just trying to figure out what's next. Oh. Hotline happy hour. Hotline happy hour. Hotline happy hour. We had so many calls come in.

So many like hundreds. Thank you listeners. Hundreds of calls come in and I got to tell you guys guys. It's been awesome. As you all know, I am a doctor. I went to eight years of doctor medical school. That's not true. And I've finally got my doctorate as everybody witnessed and everybody

who got their honor. I want to meet these witnesses. Well, everybody would show me these witnesses. We, I, it was happened live on the podcast. I got my doctorate and everybody that was listening is an honorary doctor. I'm sorry. By osmosis, which you probably don't even know what osmosis is. Only doctors know what osmosis is.

Okay. But here's the thing is that like, I know that I'm a doctor, but like, I feel like maybe you guys aren't utilizing your honorary doctorates to the degree that maybe I had hoped you would because not a single person had a viable solution for my sleepwalking, sleep talking. Really? Yeah. We need more doctors people.

Not a one. Not. Well, there was, there was one. They suggested that they cured themselves of their sleepwalking problem when they got a bunk bed. And they said that one time they tried to sleepwalk and they fell out of that top bunk bed and they never did it again. And so all we need to do is get bunk beds.

So do you have any experience in falling out of bunk bed? I actually do. Do tell. Um, when I was a little girl, I think I was five. My brother was on the bottom bunk and I was on the top bunk and we were throwing, I don't even, why were we like, who, what, why aren't children the way that they are? They have to be entertained.

They have to like, before there were phones and touchscreens and shit, you had to make your own entertainment. So you throw a ball around or whatever, right? So what, well, it was a stuffed animal that we were throwing back and forth at each other. He was on the bottom bunk. I was on the top. Why were we doing that?

Like, well, you need, you need, you need stimuli. It just feels like, like, like thinking back on it. I'm like, Oh, I know why internet didn't exist yet. Yeah. There you go. What else are we going to do? We didn't have iPads. So like, I guess this is what kids used to do.

Pre like, this is like the colonial times, you know, like this is what they did in the colonial times. They used to throw stuffed animals back and forth on a book. Well, anyway, uh, spoiler alert, I threw the stuffed animal and I also threw myself off of the top bunk bed. And I ended up breaking my right ulna, which is an arm bone. It's the one that's not where your thumb is. Other side.

Gotcha. Yeah. It's the other one. It's the outside bone, but I got a cool cast and like to cast it on for like six weeks. I don't even remember. I think they stay on for a long time. Yeah.

I just remember it being really itchy by the end of it. And you told me you would shove pencils down there to like scratch those itches, but like, think about it. You had like, if I had like broken off like an eraser or something and it got caught down there and then like, could have like caused like a friction burn to my skin. This is what happens to my brain. Like when I started thinking about like, think about what, what could

have happened? But yeah, so I did. Um, I don't think I've slept on a top bunk since maybe I have, but I don't really like subconsciously scared of that. Jack, I fell off the top bunk and I broke my arm. Yes. Coward. I was scared of it, Jack.

We should get bunk beds. You know what? I'm thinking about it now. Now that I have your phone, every night will be a party. I mean, no, I want bunk beds for myself and then you go sleep in your room. Okay. Why do you need bunk beds for yourself?

That doesn't make sense. Well, for sleepovers with my friends. Wow. Is this out cuckings? So hold on earlier. I got distracted because you had mentioned like, you know, why are we throwing something in bunk? Oh yeah, pre-internet, whatever that reminded me of a meme I saw

today that really hit home with me. I thought this is kind of brilliant. It's a picture of Hank Hill. No, that's, that's okay. That sitting on the toilet, you know, just kind of looking off to space and the caption reads when your phone is dead and you've got to take one of those 90s dumps. It's disgusting, Jack.

But it's so true. But also everybody knows that's when you just grab the shampoo bottle. God. What? Grab a shampoo bottle. You read the shampoo bottle. What?

Is that like a thing? Is that not a thing? Have you never read the shampoo bottle? I've never been so bored on the shitter as to grab a shampoo bottle and read what I assume the ingredients on it. Yeah. And the directions and shit. Yeah.

No, there's no, there's no fucking way. I don't believe you. You are literally surgically attached to your phone. I, that's true. I refuse to believe that you haven't pre cell phone, entertain yourself by way of reading the backs of bottles in the shower. I just, I don't believe it. Collars, let us know.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, I know. That's not, that's not the question. That's not the, oh, we got so far off track. We were talking about sleepwalking, Jack. And then you started. So no one was helpful, you say? Well, not yet anyway.

I'm looking for my doctor in the rough, you know, the one that we all, that has the one that has the key element for me. But I got to tell you, first off, if sleepwalking or sleep talking, if there's any indication from the number of people that called in, this is its own pandemic. And I think it's spreading like wildfire. Damn. And I scary.

I think we need to come up with a solution soon. The people that suffer from the sleepwalking and the sleep talking. They and the Iraq and such. Uh-huh. The, they like such as, um, oftentimes they also suffer from sleep paralysis and night terrors and we're calling in with the craziest stories. Like literally, I didn't even know what to like, cause sometimes I, I'll just put this out there, guys.

Sometimes if you call in with like a crazy story or not great, you know, it has to be real. It has to be legit, but like, I will text the person that called in back using our phone number, like the hotline number, but I'll text them and I'll be like, is this real? Oh, what the fuck? Like, um, but yeah, some of it, I literally didn't even know what to respond with cause I'm like, well, first off, if we get into a conversation,

I'm going to be texting you for hours cause this is like, I'm sure you have traumatizing experiences. But so yeah, so I'm still looking for my doctor in the rough about my sleep walking and sleep talking. However, Jack film, you and I got into a conversation this past weekend that I need people to weigh in on because I literally can't wrap my mind around this. Jack, you and I this weekend were watching clickbait on Netflix, not sponsored. And that's right.

And during the show, clickbait, there are scenes where the characters in the show are texting back and forth with one another. Uh-huh. And Jack, what did you say? No, nay, nay. What did you exclaim while while watching the show? I said, I hate this trope. What trope is that?

The trope in modern television and movies, but mainly television, like filler television, where, uh, when someone gets a text or someone's texting, a little bubble, a little window, uh, to the side of your television screen pops up showing what's being sent or received or what they're typing, et cetera. And very often here's another trope within a trope. Very often there's the dot, dot, dot, you know, other party is typing and then they stop and it's, you're supposed to feel something.

It's so fucking tired. I'm so sick of little text message bubbles popping up in my television shows. You, it's boring. Yeah. I'll tell you why I don't like it. No, no, no, I didn't ask yet. We're not there yet.

But first off one, I would just like to point out, you don't understand. You can't, you can't empathize with the dot, dot, dot, because you don't have an iPhone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not a lack of empathy. No, it's a lack of empathy. It's not though. You can't identify with it so that you don't have any empathy to what it feels like to see the dot, dot, dot and then see it disappear.

I see that shit. I see the shit on discord. I see the shit in Facebook messenger. I see that in other avenues. I don't need an iPhone. Thank God to know. I can emphasize with the dot, dot, dot. I see it in discord and Facebook messenger.

Right. No, I see the dot, dot, dot elsewhere. It's just an exhausted, tired trope within a trope. It's a, hold on. I'm literally looking up what the definition of trope is because I think you're misusing it and I think you're overusing it right now. I'm you're overusing it. You're troping trope right now.

Okay. All right. That was one of the smarter things you've said, but I'll go on while you Google how wrong you are. My argument is that there are better ways to express conversation. Yes. It's hyper realistic to show that people text each other and DM each other from time to time, but it's also not entertaining to watch.

It's also not entertaining to watch someone like go take a shit. What would you, but it happens in real life. What would you rather them show? Because that's it's a way to move the plot along in a realistic sense without having to create an entire like, let's get them together or have them talk on the phone for a two sentence exchange. Well, that's just it, isn't it? What?

The exchanges are never that long via text. So you can probably mash it up together with an IRL conversation, which would be much more interesting to watch from a visual perspective, but sometimes they're in different places. So it wouldn't make sense for the plot for them to be in the same place in an IRL conversation. So you do it as like either a split screen phone call or you go back and forth with different shots.

I don't want to watch people look down at a fucking phone screen. No, it's not interesting. No, you're not interesting while they go. Peck away at the keys. Like I hate you so much. Okay. So here's not entertainment. Here's what's life.

Okay. So Jack film. We're watching this show. He exclaims like out of nowhere. How long have I known you now? And this is the first time hearing about this like hatred that you have. You've known me for like 10 years. This is the first outburst.

And like you're now like just telling me like you're like, I hate when they do that. It's not interesting to watch. I was like, wait, wait, wait, what? This is literally the most random thing I've ever heard you say. I have never heard you say anything that was like this. You know, it's like, you know, it's like, it's like if they show someone like washing the dishes after dinner, because inquiring minds will be like,

well, how do those dishes get clean after after a meal? No, but that, no, but there is, there is an actual show. The point of the texting is to move the plot along. There is no plot unless somebody gets like cut doing the dishes or like there is an actual plot point to them doing the dishes. That would be stupid to show that because it wouldn't have a point. But there is a point to the text message exchange. Yeah.

The point is like, they're usually like, let's meet up. No, stupid. No, no, it's not. There's almost nothing that text message scenes in movies and television could convey in a better, more dynamic light. No, I think this is the most trivial, strange. I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone.

Collars, let her know. No, honestly, like I was racking my brain. There's so much that bothers me, right? Like literally somebody bothers me. So there's so much that bothers me in life. And for some reason I can't hear. Sorry. Now I'm just thinking about and for some reason I can't think off the

top of my head about anything that's like so trivial and small that bothers me that much, like mostly because I feel very justified in all of the things that bother me, right? Like how you made me listen to a mashup of ace of base and semi-charm life. Third eye blind. Whatever, but you didn't even know who ace of base was, but that I'm justified in that. That's the beauty of mashups.

They introduce you, but you didn't even know ace. Anyway, I digress. We've already done that, but so my point, I guess, was that like I feel like this is the most like that what I just I could literally can't wrap my mind around why that bothers you so much because it's simply this three words for it is not interesting. But like not every second of a television show is interesting. Also, also hold on a second.

The first time I ever saw that device being used device in the texting bubble, blah, blah, blah was in Sherlock. Uh-huh. Yeah, you did mention that 2011 or something. Right. Right. And that was the first time I had seen it used and I remember thinking, Oh, that's actually a clever way to show that they're exchanging messages.

And I thought it was actually quite interesting and visually appealing. Yes. Yes. And yeah, here's where you're both correct and wrong. That's usual. That device was done well because they didn't lean on it like a crutch. They would use it subtly like Benedict Cumberbund would look at his phone like briefly, you know, and they look back up.

It's like as I was saying, like, and it was it was it conveyed enough information to accelerate or keep up the pace of the scene. It never used it as a device as a like a storytelling device like a vehicle. These shows nowadays. Modern shows are lazy. No, I don't think I think you are. No, I don't think you are seeing it. It can be done dynamically.

It can be done. Well, I just rarely see it. It's just very, very lazy storytelling. I think you're lazy and like too short for lazy storytelling guys. I think that you this is the most wine is so good. No, it's not. This is the most ridiculous thing. I have ever heard come out of your mouth and for you to ever have

an opinion on this straight up. This is I it's almost like, OK, all right. So you know how people have like that? It's like an actual condition where when they hear people like chewing, they fucking go nuts like they're like whatever. Yes, I don't have that, but I can almost understand it like I get it. Sometimes when I chew, you get annoyed. Well, that's because you're noisy.

I can hear it from like three rooms away. I don't understand how the barriers of your mouth operate such that I can hear it from that far away and with your mouth closed. Anyway, again, I digress. So it's a real problem with you. Well, wait, I don't even get that annoyed. What do I say? Well, this is to be fair.

It's been a while since we hold on. We're getting we are digressing. Yeah, you have a point. You have a point. OK, my point is that I can at least like fathom like why that might bother people because it has to do with making noise. It's almost like invading somebody's boundary and I don't know. I get it.

I think I mean, I don't get it because I don't have it, but like I at least can like wrap my mind around. You can empathize with that or just like I think I can understand it. So I'm why that might bother some people. Sure. Within reason, within reason. Yeah, this this stance that you have taken. Yeah, I'm putting my foot down.

It's just I literally can't wrap my mind. I don't understand it. I don't get it. So guys, what I'm asking from you is to tell a better story. I need to hear about the things that bother you that don't matter at all. Yes, like straight up don't matter. Like you phrase it like the innocuous things in life. The most innocuous things shouldn't bother you.

They do bother anybody, but they do. That's an interesting topic. I'm very I'm I'm sure people have loads to say on that like shit that just doesn't make sense to bother anyone, but it bothers you. And I need it to be above on the on the bother scale. I need we need to be at eight or up high up there. Eight or ten eight to ten. This isn't like a mild annoyance.

Yeah, this is like no, no, no. This is where you're you're watching a television show and you exclaim, I hate that they do this. I hate this. I would love to hear other people's text bubbles and TV shows equivalent. I what what drives you up the wall? I need to hear about this because I can't wrap my mind around it. Okay, I'll give you an example of what is not an eight to ten.

So we were driving on the highway yesterday and there is a car. I think it's like a Land Rover Range Rover just something. I think it's called Discovery doesn't matter. Whatever the back of the car. Oh, yeah, is lopsided. I don't it's asymmetrical. It's asymmetrical. The license plate is on the off to a side.

The left side is on the left side and like then the rest of the car was. No, no, it looked like the Picasso. I got to tell you, it looks good. I agree. That's exactly what it looked like. It was like a Picasso. The left side wasn't like the right side. It just didn't know.

I understand what you're trying to be different here. Trying to be unique. If you if you fold it in half, the house wouldn't match. You know, it is not working. Okay, it's not working. I pointed it out to Jack and I said, I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like the way that looks, but you didn't throw a tantrum over it. And it wasn't an outburst.

It was a mirror. It was an observation. Honestly, from my perspective, it was just you simply pointing out and observing that thing over there. I do not like it. Yes, I'm going to put that on a scale from under 10. Yeah, that was that was a three. That was a three guys.

I want to hear your eight nine. Yeah, 10. I said mine. What's your bother you? Okay. I I've got to know because like I can't wrap my mind around the Jack film. Yeah, I will never ever she will never understand it. Also, I looked up the definition of trope.

What do they say? A trope is a common or overused theme or device. Yeah, so I'm right for you to say for you to say I'm tired of this trope. It's like that's redundant because the trope is overused. Thus, you would be tired of it. You would be tired of it. La la la. Okay.

So I knew you weren't you were troping trope. Okay. Let the record show I was right from the start. And that is lessons with Aaron and Jack. No, you were the ones I got schooled. That was taking Jack to school with Aaron. My leader. So anyway, I can't wait to hear of guys.

I'm loving this hotline, by the way. It's the coolest thing. If you guys are some of the listeners that I have texted back. Thank you so much for being gracious and allowing me to engage in conversation. Also, just a quick follow up to something we talked about last week. We are still exploring ways that we might be able to feature voicemails on our podcast legally. I don't know. There's red tape or something.

So please sit tight. Please be patient with us. I can't wait to feature voicemails. I hope we get it figured out. I think we will eventually we just need to like, you know, nail that all down. But in the meantime, please keep calling in because I am loving listening to your stories and I can't wait to hear from you all. And speaking of voicemails, honey.

Yeah, there was a script that you brought to my attention that someone had left us via the hotline, a script for a movie. Oh, they did. I have received a very special gift. Oh, as it is a preliminary script. What for a very girl boss Christmas? Yo, let's go. Let's go Christmas in September.

Somebody sent in. It is a Christmas season after all. They were a very high powered Hollywood producer and they sent in the first draft of their script that I hired them to write for a very girl boss Christmas. Well, let's hear it. Yes. Let me just pull it up. Mm hmm.

A girl boss Christmas come to life. A very girl boss Christmas. I beg my pardon. A very girl boss Christmas come to life. I wonder where this would premiere Hallmark Channel or Lifetime or Freeform. Maybe you could get like, you know, network television airtime. Okay, so so far we have we have two scenes. Oh, ambitious for a draft script.

So the person that has written it is Tyler. Tyler B. Shout out to Tyler B. Shout out to Tyler B. Jack, would you like to read some excerpts from a very girl boss Christmas? Erin, I would be honored. This is my first time seeing this. Thank you for this gift, honey.

No, it's a gift from Tyler B. I know, I know, but you're letting me read it and thank you, Tyler B. Here we go. A very girl boss Christmas scene one interior fancy restaurant day. A group of spectators is gathered around a blindfolded Mr. Films. He has a goatee and is wearing an orange business suit with black stripes. The spectators watch in anticipation as he tastes one of many wines set up on the

table. Mr. Films pauses Savanyang Blanc. The crowd fills with murmurs. He lifts another glass but hesitates. He begins sniffing the wine. Subtly at first, but soon very aggressively. That is a 2019 German Pinot Grigio.

The murmurs get louder as the audience is more impressed spectator one. He didn't even taste that one spectator two. How is this possible? Mr. Films reaches for the third wine, but instead of grabbing the glass, he places his fingers into it and scoops up some of the liquid. This is my fantasy, by the way. He swirls this liquid in his hand, feeling the weight of it before dropping it back

into the glass and wiping off his hands. This is not a wine at all. No, I would know this beverage anywhere. This is a white claw. The audience erupts in shears as Mr. Films removes his blindfold. His expression is solemn but proud reporters rush to ask him questions. Reporter one, how does it feel to have a superhuman sense of taste?

Mr. Films, it's a blessing and a curse. Reporter two, you've dominated the wine tasting scene for years. Do you ever think you'll find a worthy competitor? Oh my God. Mr. Films, quite frankly, I don't know if that's possible. This is an awesome script.

I know exactly where it's going and I still want to see this movie. Reporter two, do you believe you'll win the... What? Win the what? Say it. Do you believe you'll win this year's Christmas wine tasting event? Shut up! Mr.

Films, without a doubt, it's like I always say wine is just win with an E at the end. I do say that. What does the E stand for? I, I guess I never really thought about that. Shut up. Stop it. Stop it. Reporter three, is there anyone you'd like to thank for supporting you on this journey?

Mr. Films. Oh, of course. I'd like to thank my family. They're actually here today. They're right. Um, Oh no.

Mr. Films looks into the audience trying to figure out which ones are. This is the greatest script. Mr. Films, they're We see the group of spectators from his perspective, a blurry sea of faceless people. Before he can fumble even more, Mr. Films is agent, an older man wearing an inflatable sumo suit, steps between him and the reporters.

Agent, that's all the questions we're going to have today. He escorts Mr. Films to the back room as reporters clamor for his attention. Guys. Oh my God. Stay tuned. Next week, we will be reading scene two from a very girl boss Christmas. I have to know more.

Yeah. This is the hairs on the ends of everything are standing up. Tyler B. I can't wait to gift Tyler B. Oh my gosh. Wait, I'm sorry. Oh, there's more next week. We'll be reading scenes two and three from a very girl boss Christmas.

Tyler B. Has a future. Tyler. Tyler B. Has left us on quite the cliffhanger honest. It's a little unfair. I'm a little teased, but like I cannot wait to see how this unfolds. I mean, all I'm saying is that I hope that a girl boss shows up and that and melts his iron heart.

No, no, girl boss Christmas is not about falling in love. Girl boss Christmas is about girl bossing. We're going to kill it doing something. No, yeah, we're going to kill it Christmas. There has to be love in the air. Aaron, have you ever seen a Christmas movie? Jesus. There was this one, one of my favorite.

Oh, talk about guilty pleasures. Yeah. Not that we were talking about guilty pleasures, but I was just, you know, thinking about it. Guilty pleasure of Christmas time. That one Christmas movie. I don't know where this is going on Netflix. At least it used to be. And it's called like, it's called like the spirit of Christmas.

Oh, no. And it's about the woman that falls in love with the ghost. You've seen that movie multiple times, right? Yeah. Yeah, you have. And he died like on Christmas Eve. Of course he did. And he, his ghost comes back to haunt every Christmas Eve and then she wait.

Okay, guys, spoiler alert. Fast forward. If you don't, they're not going to watch it. I promise you she ends up falling in love. Like he came back. Get this, get this. This is the best part. This is the best part.

He comes back because he's unsettled because his love like got away or whatever. And he died. But don't worry. Like the woman that was like staying at this haunted house that he haunts like fell in love with him, even though he was a ghost and he was like only there to like get back his love or something, but then he's like, oh, no, fuck that bitch. Like that's beautiful. And then he falls in love with the human lady and then together they become ghosts

in the end. Wait, what? Yeah. Oh, see, I didn't their love. It kills her. It's fucking kills her. Either he comes back to life or you don't even know. But you don't even know.

That's how I know it's a good movie. He comes back to life or she becomes a ghost, but I'm pretty sure she becomes a ghost. I know what we're watching tonight, which is fucking the last 10 minutes of a ghost for Christmas or whatever the spirit of Christmas. I was going to say ghost of Christmas past, but then I was like, no, no, no, that's not it. It's spirit of Christmas.

It is so bad. So bad. It's not even like funny bad. It's not supposed to be funny. That's the worst kind. That's the thing is that like the way I'm describing it, you think it's like a comedy yet. Yeah.

It's not a comedy guys. Like this is a knife in like the room. Good. No, this is drama. Damn. This is just straight drama. I fell in love with a ghost. It's like that woman that was on the Daily Mail the other day claiming

that she's in love with Michael Jackson's ghost. And I think they got married maybe. Oh, I feel like I may have tweeted about it. Yeah. I tweeted about it. Yeah. It's like that. But like not funny.

Like it's like it's still funny. Anyway, that I'm hoping that may be a very cool. That wasn't very girl boss of that guy to kill that woman by falling in love with her. She really killed her. But that was girl. Like that's a very girl boss Christmas. I hope it like takes that movie and girl bosses with it.

You know what I mean? Time will tell. Well, you will find out. Stay tuned next week for scenes two and three of a very girl boss Christmas. I can't wait. Hey, Jack. Hey, Aaron. What time is it?

Oh, while it's half past horoscope. I love horoscope time. I get to like because I already did all my work because I like it takes so much out of me like being a vessel, you know what I mean? Yeah, sure. It's so much hard work. But like now that I've done the vesseling, I can just sit back and relax. Get rid of this nasty as wine.

Get a pina colada. Excuse you. You know what I mean? So horoscope time is the best time and we get to see the future. Yes. This ain't no Christmas past. This is Christmas future. You got him girl.

Well said. Let's read how Christmas future is going to turn up this week. You are going first because Jack, what season is it? Christ. Virgo season? It's Virgo season. Virgin season. Let's go.

All my virgins out there. He said it, not me. Not me. Virgo. How's Virgo season going? Virgo? Is it good for you? Is it?

Is it? Well, that's just great to hear because I don't know if you've turned on the news lately, but the world is literally on fire. It's like playing a damn game of whack-a-mole at this point. So I'm glad you're doing so well and enjoying your season so thoroughly. That's just so great for you, Virgo. I love that for you, bestie. Do you remember in the early COVID days, John Krasinski made that podcast show thingy called

some good news and everyone revered him for being this like beacon of hope and light during a very sad and scary time. And then after like two months, he sold it for a bunch of money and totally sold out and left us all to just wallow in our despair while he bought himself a new yacht or something. Well, do I have some good news for you? Yeah. He's a Libra, not a Virgo. You should be proud that he's not part of your crew.

Have a great week. It's true though. Like that guy totally sold out. He did. You know what? He got the back. He got the back. He got the back.

He made a show. It was a bait and switch if I ever saw it. He like read some like messages from like, you know, fifth graders, you know, and then Hamilton. You can't forget the Hamilton. Oh, they did do a big Hamilton thing. And then he was like, see you. It's funny because sometimes I like don't agree with the messages that I'm vesseling.

You know what I mean? But this time around, I was like, Oh my God, we are on the same page. You know what I mean? It's proof that if you play like a good guy on TV or film or a movie, like if you're known for just a good guy, you can get away with a lot too dark. Libra at your next Starbucks trip, the barista will ask you if you want any whipped cream in your head. You'll think no thanks and I'm good, but your mouth will scream no good.

Great job. Go get him. Libra. Has that happened to you, Jack? Yeah, actually it has. Oh my God. This is based off like not this exact example, but this is like loosely based off like, you know, I'm saying like, you know, no thanks or I'm good.

And I think one time I said like, you're gay because it came off as like, you know, like I'm good or it was honestly, you're gay. Yeah. Like it came off as that because I'm great or like, that's great or okay or I'm and it just came out as a, I'm gay. Yeah. Sometimes my brain's not good. Scorpio.

Good riddance to those seven small woodsmen and that stupid witch that ditched you after feeding you an annoying apple who needs them. Your future is looking real bright, Scorpio, especially now that you got rid of that dead weight in your life this week, you will stumble upon a castle and not just any castle and abandoned castle, holy moly, why pay for a castle? We can squat one for free. Apparently the person who used to live in this castle was like kidnapped by a giant turtle dragon or something.

But it happened pretty recently and the giant turtle dragon, I just got it, had a crush on the person he kidnapped so the castle still in great shape. Cool. Okay. Also, the person who used to live here has like super great friends who are really friendly. Her two closest friends are brothers named Mario and Luigi. Gee. Gee.

I'm sorry. And Luigi. Yeah. That's exactly how you pronounce it. They said they've been pronouncing it like that their whole life. They said they have a long line of Marios in their family. Wow. And that all the Marios are pronounced exactly like that.

Thank you. That's so cool. They said there's an imposter out there going by the name Mario, but that he's a bad guy and to not trust anyone that prefers Mario over Mario. Wow. Anyway, very cool. You get a sick new pad and new friends. Okay.

Horse go over. I have listeners. I have to expose this to you. She's spelt out. I don't spell. I didn't do anything. Mario as in I'm going to marry you dash Oh, Mario. And then for the correct one, Mario, she used the name Mari, like the talk show host

dash Oh, I hate you. I hate you. I don't spell anything. You tricked me. Do you not know how channeling works? You tricked me. Hey, not sorry, but also, but also I have nothing to be sorry for because I just channeled and you mean you're in for I was, I was, I was doing my job.

I was doing my job. It's what a murder says in court. I have nothing to be sorry for. I do it again. Well, no, I just was doing my job. That's all. That's all. Sagittarius.

A girl with no eyes and no nose will pop out of your closet tonight and start shrieking at you. At first. At first. Sorry. I just started imagining Sunday, like with no eyes and no nose shrieking at me because she's a Sagittarius. Oh, okay.

Um, the thought was very funny. At first you'll be terrified. Yeah. I don't want to get it mixed up. Like your horoscope is not funny. I was thinking about Sunday having no eyes and no nose. Okay. At first.

Now I can't something on Sunday at first you'll be terrified, but then you'll realize she's just a girl looking for love. Oh, like Sunday. Oh my God. Oh, take her out to a nice restaurant. Don't take Sunday to a nice restaurant. Stop considering Sunday. Then take her to see that new Marvel movie.

If you play your cards, right, you'll grow old together and have little kids with no eyes and no noses. I think the plural of eyes is Isis. I fuck you. Oh my God. Stop Adlib. Stop riffing. That's the cycle of love and continue all over again.

Really cool. Wait a channel and totally not riff an Adlib like all over that horoscope. Okay. So also, can we go back to like your obsession with people with no eyes and no noses? No, that's like, that was like a, that was like a creepy pasta thing from like, you know, 20 years ago. Like it used to be like. Are you mansplaining creepy pasta to me right now?

Well, it's because you're making it sound like I have an obsession. Like no. It was a trope. You talk about it all the time. I think it's a funny way to start a horoscope. A girl with no eyes and no nose will walk out of your closet and you'll marry her. And I thought it was funny to imagine Sunday with no eyes and no nose. I know, but for the listener that doesn't know what Sunday is, they know what Sunday

is. I don't know. They know what Sunday is. Sunday's our dog. She's adorable. She looks like a goblin. She looks like a goblin and she'd be really, really hilariously ugly and terrifying with no eyes and no nose.

That's true. It's true. Capricorn. That pet cemetery has come in handy once again, Capricorn, because some old sap buried your ass in it and now you're back from the dead. Whoopee. Okay. What do the gods have in store for you this week?

Ah, shit. You went and sleep, walked your way into traffic and now you're dead again. You've really got to get it together, Capricorn. One of these days, someone's going to decide to cancel Stephen King for like being an Army Hammer fan or something and they're going to board up that pet cemetery and then you won't be able to come back from the dead anymore. Just saying. In the meantime, good news, Army Hammer isn't just some sick shit and he wanted to see if

he could bring you back from the dead and he could. So it's all good, except now you have to hang out with Army Hammer for the week. Godspeed, dude. I'm fucking crying. You're laughing at your own show. Fuck you. Oh, buddy. What did Army Hammer do?

He like. Oh my God. Aida girl or something. He was into like, yeah, he was like cannibalism, cannibalism. Who isn't? Oh, man. That was good. Oh my God.

I was good. Oh. I'm glad you had fun. Yeah. You would have thought it was funnier if you knew what Army Hammer was into. I know what he's into. He's in a good acting. I loved him in the social network, both of him, Aquarius.

Challenge yourself to be a bit more charitable today. The next time you go out somewhere, hold the door open for the person behind you. When they say thank you in your head, you'll think you're welcome and no problem, but your mouth will say your problem. Very slick. Cool. Good horoscope. Jack, did that happen to you too?

Hell yeah. Your problem. What can I say, Merle Casanova? Pisces. Wipe that shit eating grin off your face, Pisces. It's time to get down to business. And not just any business, girl boss business. So you know it's legit.

Wait, what's that? You're not girl boss enough to handle the girl boss business? You identify more as a male wife? Oh, well that's a relief. Because it turns out male wives can do everything girl bosses can do. You see, the term girl boss is redundant because all girls are bosses and all bosses can be girls if they want to be. And the term male life doesn't make any fucking sense because wives can be bosses too.

I'd appreciate if you stopped using the term male life, Pisces, because some wives out there already are bosses. And we don't need any help in bringing women down any further, okay? That's some Ted Cruz language right there. The guy is literally creating laws telling women what to do with their bodies while simultaneously eating boogers off his face with his lizard tongue on international television. Man, I guess the aliens have one. You know, it's nice.

I can tell you're vezzling and it's not you at all because you don't have any like pent up aggressions or grudges or grievances. What would you have? No, nothing, not a thing. I am the most peaceful person you've ever met. Yeah. All you do is just rave about Ted Cruz and his policies. You're the one that can't even handle watching television shows that have text messages on

them. Okay? I don't have any grievances to air. It's not that I can't handle them. I just choose not to. I choose not to. I choose not to. Aries.

You find yourself extremely busy. Work is chaotic, but you like the chaos. You thrive on it. All your adult life, you've been an independent. Oh, my God, oh, my God, okay, okay. All your adult life, you've been an independent business woman on the go and this and this Christmas season is no different. Oh my God.

I'm crying. Um, you're assigned to visit a small rustic town and right about their tree cutting ceremony. You were supposed to visit mom next week. Lord knows it's been tough for her since dad passed last Christmas, but slowing down now would be career suicide. Fresh off the plane, you head straight to the nearest bed and breakfast. When you look up at the innkeeper to see Ben, Ben from high school, he's filled out and rips Christmas trees straight out of the fucking ground before you can make a move on him.

He says, I'd love for you to meet my fiance and gestures to a bombshell. That's basically you, but turned up to an 11. This Christmas find out if miracles can happen. A girl boss Christmas premiering exclusively on the Hallmark Channel, the heart of TV. This is not to be confused with a very girl boss Christmas by the way, very different movies. I kind of love, I really love that we've read a script that someone sent about a very girl boss Christmas and the gods somehow prior channeled us to read a girl boss Christmas,

which was the prequel to a very girl boss Christmas. It's kind of perfect. A very girl boss Christmas is the sequel to a girl boss Christmas because every good Christmas franchise needs a sequel. I think they're making it. Honestly, they're making a third princess switch movie. Oh my God. Where is the sequel to the spirit of Christmas?

Okay, keep attishing where they have ghost babies. You have to fight hard for it and like they name them Renez man. Oh my God, that would be where it would go. Yeah. The whole world of ghost baby. Taurus. Hey Taurus. How's your Tinder journey going?

Oh, you haven't matched with anyone yet because they're all crazy male lives? Right, right. I understand. Well, do I have great news for you? Bill Murray. Yes, the Bill Murray is single and ready to mingle again and you guys are going to match on Tinder this week. I know.

Crazy, right? Crazy. But here's the kicker. You see, Mr. Murray is a bit of an odd duck if you will and he's into some weird shit. And one of the weird things he's into is catfishing. Hmm. In fact, his Tinder profile photo is of an uncrustable and he describes himself in his bio as the most delicious thing on the planet, which might be true, but I think he's actually

talking about the uncrustable. Anyhow, make sure to swipe right on that uncrustable because not only is it delicious and nutritious, not sponsored. But also, it's actually Bill Murray. Such a shame that no one will ever believe you matched with Bill Murray on Tinder. It's true. It's true. No one will believe that.

Nobody's going to believe that. Put your hands over your eyes and he'll say, no one will ever believe you. He's a rashly one that Bill Murray is. He is. He's feisty. It's on Tinder now. I didn't know that. Damn.

Is he actually single? I believe so. I didn't know that. I just kind of assumed. I know he has children. No, all. I think that they were telling the truth. Sometimes we get a little rascally God in every now and then.

What do you call a rascally God, like a poultry guy? That's more of a spirit. It's like a peeves. A peeves. Yeah. That's why I was kind of referencing. Gemini. Yeah.

I'm not really feeling a horoscope right now, but I have been working on this really cool rap song for a year and oh, you don't want to hear it. Oh honey. I think we do. I think we do. Right? Really? Okay.

Here it goes. Don't be a sheep. Say no to the Vax. They're full of microchips. These are very real facts. Don't let laws take away from your freedom. Throw away your masks. You really don't need them.

You. S. A. U. S. A. U. S.

A. What'd you think? So I took you a year to write that? That's pretty cool, babe. I feel like you know how anytime on like Instagram that somebody posts about like COVID or vaccines or fucking talk or whatever, like it comes up with that little like warning on the bottom. Yes. Like I feel like we need to put like, Hey guys, that was a joke.

That was a joke. Do not take that out of context. That was a joke. I wonder. Yeah. Genuinely. I wonder how we could fit that in the podcast or the links. Jack and I are both visored up.

We've been visored for a very long time. Do not worry. We're not taking. Yeah. We believe in masks and science and such. That's our very boring, but true disclaimer. Yes. So sorry.

I mean, it doesn't always translate. It doesn't. Slash S man. Slash S. Slash S. Slash S. Cancer. One more point for cancer.

We did it again. Girl boss. We tricked the shit out of tourists. Do they actually think they are good looking and interesting enough to match with the Bill Murray on Tinder? What a stupid idiot. What an idiot. Wow.

Bill Murray doesn't even know how telephones work, let alone how to download an app, let alone how to Google search a picture of an uncrustable, save it, and then upload it to the app, let alone how to spell delicious, you know? Tourist is straight up out to lunch and I can't wait to keep pumping them with you. This has actually been a really fun team building activity with you, Cancer. You're a really good teammate. We make good bullies together. Hey, maybe that's why bullies are bullies, because it's just good team building.

Oh. Yeah. That's it. Justice for bullies everywhere. They're just trying to team build. I get it. Anyway, see you next week, Cancer. I'll try to think of some more ways to ruin tourists' life all for the sake of team building.

By the way, you're like really pretty. Oh. I kind of love that for Cancer. That was really... Cancer's like out here making friends and stuff. Heartwarming. It's like a networking opportunity. You know what I mean?

I do know what you mean. I'm anti-bullying, but pro-team building, so it's a kind of a gray area, honey. I get it. I get it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. It's just the last one. The final horoscope for this week.

For this week. Leo. Oh, God. You got so drunk last night. Oh, God. What did you do? Do you even remember? No.

Wait. Did you text your ex last night? Quick. Go check your phone. Okay. Okay. You didn't text your ex. That's good.

Wait. You slowly remember. You called your ex. No! It's all coming back. You didn't just call your ex. You sang the anti-vax rap that Aaron spent a year writing. Oh, no.

Oh, no. And you added a new verse. You did. Don't trust the doctors. What do they know, son? I only listen to my boy Joe Rogan. Medical experts are just dumb jerks. Just chug your horse meds.

That shit works. Wow. Wow. Wow. Unbelievable. Leo, rain it in. Yeah. Too much, Leo.

We gotta rain that one in. You know? Leo, too much. Too much. You gotta have some repairing to do, okay? Some self-reflection. Some face-to-save, if you will. Really take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror, Leo.

Well, that about wraps up our 11th Aaron's Dozen episode. What's that? What the fuck? Our printers going off right now. What? I hate you so much. Oh, my God. Our print.

What? What did you just print out? Oh, my God. What did you make? Our printer just print out. I didn't make it print out anything. What did our printer just print out? I don't know, Jack.

Like a ghost. I don't. Oh, my God. I saw you on your phone earlier. I just thought it on my phone. I hate you. I don't even know where my phone is right now. I hate you.

What? What did you just print out? Jack, I don't know. Can I read it? You should read it. But I don't know what it's. I don't know what it is. All right.

Let me see this. I'm terrified. I think it's the ghost of Christmas past coming through channeling us. Well, let's see. It's possessed the printer. Message from the gods. Sorry, we hacked your email. That's a subject.

Oh, my God. I knew that they were all powerful. I fucking knew it. I knew it. Here's what the message says. Okay. Why is Jackfilm so stinky? I didn't know the gods could do that.

That's crazy. Oh, my God. They found us. My God. I thought they could only channel us when we were in a channeling session. Me too. I guess they can. Well, first they can hack my email address.

Right. Right. Right. Let alone hack a printer. My email account. Let alone. Spell uncrustable. Let alone.

Oh, my gosh. Guys, that's terrifying. I hope that at least the gods tune in next week to listen to scenes two and three from a very girl boss Christmas. Tyler, I hope you tune in next week. Time will tell and that I believe concludes our 11th episode of Aaron is the haunted one. Thank you guys so, so much. Stay tuned for next week.

Not only will we be reading the conclusion of a very girl boss Christmas, but we will also maybe, maybe be hearing my great resignation. We'll see. We'll see what's in store. I hope so. What? Justice for all bullies or something. Thanks so much, you guys.

Until next time. Thank you so much for tuning in. So don't forget our hotline number. I want to hear what pisses you off. That doesn't make any fucking sense. Sorry. I'm trying to say fuck less. I want to hear what we didn't make a promise to always the Christian mini, mini van mom.

Christian mini van mom. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. No, I think, I think we haven't cussed at all since. So please call in to our hotline. I think it's Aaron always dabs hard. And, and gargles onions. Finally 10.

I think that's what it is or dad hug me 10 or dad hug me 10, but also Aaron always that's hard. So thank you so much for tuning in guys. Can't wait to see you next week. I can't wait to hear about things that piss you off that make no sense. And we'll see you next time. Bye haters. Bye.