Erin is the Funny One - Spot the Sequel!

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Jack and Erin kick off their 18th episode in style with a particularly boozy wine from Nicolas Cage’s uncle (shoutout to Francis), before diving into a tricky installment of the Sequel Game! Finally, big news folks…it’s Scorpio season, so kick back and listen up Horoscope fans! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome back to another new episode of Aaron is the funny one I am your host Jack Douglas joining me as always is other hosts Dr. Ernie, it is I here with all of my scientific background and findings and a repertoire and resume and Credentials and textbooks that I've authored. Well, you're one of those good doctors. Yeah. Oh, I'm very knowledgeable All-knowledgeable good to have a doctor on the podcast. I know that's right I am the doctor and it is good to have me on here. Well said doc. Hey, did you know this is our

18th podcast episode. It's now an adult, you know, it used to be able to buy cigarettes But I don't think it can buy cigarettes anymore. Is that how it works I think you have to be 21 to buy cigarettes now. Oh, I see. Yeah I thought you just stopped being able to buy cigarettes at 18. I was confused with your wording there CVS I don't think they sell cigarettes at all. So good on CVS. Can we get a shout out to CVS? Yeah, but they'll they'll still sell you like hard alcohol in certain states So, you know, just pick pick your poison. I guess so our podcast can vote our podcast can fuck And it could always technically it could always fuck. I guess but now it can fuck on camera consensually. That's beautiful

Yes, but I love to see that. Yeah, ooh Let me walk that back I just woke up from a nap. What's your excuse? No, I was always this disgusting. Well, happy 18th. There is the funny one 18th, do you remember your 18th birthday Jack? Not at all. I barely remember my 21st Let alone my 18th. I'm trying to think of my 18th birthday. That's a great question I would have been going into freshman year of college. Um, yeah, no, I don't remember it at all. Nope. Nope. Nope We'll have to ask the rents about that one. I mean, okay, that's what we should have celebrated last episode

Is that when you're 17 you can get into R rated movies? Oh, that's a good one. God It's always right after that. You remember these things, you know, I'm sure next week will remember something that we really should have done For the 18th, but in the meantime, let's get this show started with this week's wine of the week Wine of the week, which by the way is also kind of like wine of the hour Slash wine of the day now that we're recording way more than one episode per week. Oh, yeah, we're stockpiling listeners Yeah, so sometimes it's wine of the hour. Sometimes it's wine of the day eventually it will be wine of the week Oh, yeah, for sure. We'll just pretend pretend what the episode about that wine This episode's wine of the episode. There you go. Is

Who's joining us today Jack film Francis Coppola? Oh And what's the varietal of wine do we have with us this episode why a 2018 shard, of course You know, I once dated somebody who this was like not this Technical varietal, but the brand Francis Coppola was their go-to for like a wine that you could bring to like somebody's parents If you were like visiting them or something and it would be like a good enough wine that it wasn't an insult But like not a super super expensive wine that it's like yeah That like you're not gonna go bankrupt over it So we are joined today by our friend Francis Coppola who's like the grandfather or grand-uncle or something of Nicholas Cage

That's right. Mm-hmm. Jack is a huge Nicholas Cage fan. Just can't can't get enough of that. Mr. Cage All right, Jack take the first sip you tell us what are you thinking about it while you do that? I'm gonna scan this puppy and I'm gonna tell you what our Vivino app says I'll tell you it tastes really good right after you brush your teeth Did you just brush your teeth? Yeah, Jack. It's 5 p.m Why are you just now brushing your teeth somewhere guys? This is marriage. Okay I'll be honest Okay, as far as Chardonnay's go. I feel like it's on the sweeter side. Oh a sweeter Chardonnay. Hey, yeah, okay

Let me let me let me let me let me let me let me take a sip Coppola. You old fox. You've done it again Yeah, it's okay. It's like decent. Okay. So according to the Vivino app This is has over 1,100 ratings. Wow. It scored a 3.8 out of five. Okay, and Average price is 12 99, but I actually disagree. I feel like it's more expensive than that I think this is a 17 dollar bottle of wine. No, I don't think I paid 17 for that I think I paid close to 12 or 13 for this bottle. Hey, okay Well, then word of advice to people that are like visiting people's parents spring for the 17 dollar bottle of wine If you're gifting wine to people's parents spring for the 17 dollar bottle and to counteract what my wife said

Buy whatever bottle at whatever price point you're comfortable at and don't let some doctor on a podcast Try to fucking convince you otherwise guys take it from doctor serial monogamous to that is me Okay, I have had many a dates many a boyfriend spring for the 17 dollar bottle of wine They'll love you for it. Mom and dad won't know the difference. I like it. It's okay. I would give it like out of 10 I'll give it like uh Six and a half. That's pretty good for you. Good enough. You're hard to please when it comes to the shards I love chardonnay. You do but like you you know, you have a snobby nose for him. This also has a uh, Damn 14.1 percent. I got oh what that's like red wine material. I know that's like it's very strong

So like there are certain Chardonnays that once they breach that 13 and a half percent I realized this is like probably all in my head, but I just feel like it's like it's kind of like baseless is dick-shaped spaceship Like it just takes you to like another level of like you never know where is this going to be like Are you going to be a happy drunk a sad drunk or an angry drunk? That's that's what you got a plan for when you drink like that's what happens with me at least if I Breach that 13 and a half percent That's just like my own like internal boundary that I've set for myself. So we'll see where this podcast goes

I don't know. Is this going to be an angry podcast a sad podcast or a happy real? It's always an angry podcast with you Now jack, I do not want this 14.1 percent wine To drive me into an angry podcast. No, nor do I but I do want to play a game with you a game I would like to play a game with you. Now. Let me give you a little bit of background Okay, first I will give credit where credit is due this idea was Provided to me by our dear friend. Mr. Sean the uniballer coney shout out to Sean Sean is one of the

Most what's the word that like he like has like some of the best ideas creative. Yes. Thank you. He is very very creative He is he is um has given jack so many ideas for his own like youtube channel I think he it was his idea for the blind It really was he like breathed new life in my channel with uh with this idea. So yeah, Sean is incredibly great Yeah, so Sean gave me an idea actually a number of ideas But this one in particular for I guess it's a quiz of sorts, but it's more like a game Okay, and since it is spooky season At first I was going to make the game Halloween ish themed

Okay, and then I don't know what came over me I almost regret that something came over me, but I thought to myself No, if it's Halloweeny themed it would only be centered around scary movies and that that would be cruel because it's very difficult And I I wanted to make it attainable. Okay looking back on that decision that I made I wholeheartedly regret it Now let me tell you the premise Of please the game that we will be playing Is called is this a real sequel or not? And I'm going to read you a number of titles of sequels of films and you tell me

If it's a real sequel or not I like now that you know what the basis of the game is you can probably see why they're like a bajillion Halloween sequels and Friday the 13th and nightmare on elm street and all of that I should have made it all scary movie themed sequels But I thought jack doesn't watch scary movies Unless you make me even though it's spooky season and all I I want to make this a fun game for him I don't want this to be a total crash and burn session. I truly don't deserve it. I really really regret that I wish that I could go back in time, but alas

I cannot this is not interstellar jack. We cannot go back in time May not throw a black hole not in our dreams I've never ever heard you make an interstellar reference. Yeah, there's like time travel or some shit Sort of yeah, yeah, I didn't like that movie. Yeah, it wasn't my favorite Nolan one Spoiler alert interstellar 2 does not show up on this list. Damn it Are you ready to play a game that I have designed for you you tell me are these real sequels or are they fake sequels? I'm ready. Let's go, baby. Now jack. I'm gonna start off with a sequel to a movie that you claim Is near and dear to your heart. Oh boy, even though you don't actually even know the correct title of this movie

That is allegedly so near and dear to your heart. What could you be talking the movie being groundhog day? Oh, man Yeah, what is what did you call it again over and over and over again? I believe I don't know But I believe I may have called it groundhogs day. Oh, okay Okay, I'm just being sure and just to be clear like you do claim to be like an overall expert in all things cinema and film Is that right? I don't claim to be I am okay. Would you say that you're like that's an extra special interest of yours? Yes, and it's close enough groundhog groundhogs. We all know I'm what I'm talking about I don't know jack. I had to listen to like literally 300 angry voicemails from people Correcting you on how you pronounced

I'm actually a but it's just groundhog to be fair though. I will say I never claimed to be a fan of that movie So I can call it groundhogs day all day long which I don't get it's the perfect movie I never claimed to be a fan of it you on the other hand did so now they're here nor there now jack We're gonna start off with something that I think that you should know pretty well Yeah, jack. Is this a real sequel or is this a fake sequel? Okay, groundhog day like father like son Actually, I think I know this one I do and I never followed up on it But if my memory serves me well, I do recall that they were making I don't know who they was

But they were making a groundhog day VR game virtual reality game I don't exactly recall that the subtitle but that that doesn't sound that far off from the truth And I think the plot it was going to be like a true spirit and that's spiritual I think it was going to be like kind of a true sequel to the original film But you I think you play his son the main character's son the protagonist's son And you just kind of have to figure out like what's going on in the town Yeah, I I remember seeing a horrible video game

I remember seeing trailers for it and it looked really cute and charming and endearing I can't remember if they ever made it or not because I feel like if it has been released There was not a lot of fanfare is it still as of yet to be released. I don't know I'm gonna say it's true. It's not a movie though. It's a virtual reality game What I'm looking for is is this a film sequel. Oh, no, it's not a film sequel It's a it's a VR sequel but not a film that is correct Really? Yeah, I don't I also don't know if they turned it into a video game But that's where I got the idea for it because I saw

That there were like they were trying to make something happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay I think it was like an Oculus quest game or something. Yeah, okay So we're going to take a little bit of a twist We're gonna we're gonna take a little bit of a pivot here Can I say that if this were if this were the squid game, I'd still be alive. You would be that's all you would be Okay, jack. Is this a real or fake sequel? Okay, Moana to Hey, hey's beginning Hey

Um, I know a fair amount of disney sequels and uh, the you know, the dreaded straight to dvd vhs bargain bin sequel subculture of disney But I'm pretty sure and I know disney plus is like having a field day You know making all of these and I won't say anything in cases in your quiz later They have a field day making sort of like spin-off series and shorts based off of successful franchises and and movies and such I don't think there is a moana spin-off or sequel. Uh, they certainly wouldn't give hay No, I'm gonna be firm in my answer It it would make for you know what for disney plus it would make for a great little eight minute short little

Little short all about hey, hey, I don't think that exists though. I don't I feel like I would have seen that like scrolling around the old Disney plus menu. I'm gonna say no. No, you made it up. This is a pure, uh, dr. Ernie Construction. This is not real false final answer. Okay next question. Thank you listeners. That means I got it right Moana to return to the sea. No, they never no, they never went back into the moana world Like it's not no, they never no, there's no moana anything. Are you sure about that? Yeah, I am and I should be like I feel like this could be a trap But like why are you asking me like two moana questions in a row? I want to like stick to my gut though and say that no

They never made a moana anything not a hey, hey thing not a to call and return to the sea sort of meme No, absolutely not. By the way, that doesn't make any sense Why does they make any sense because if you'll recall the ending of moana has the whole island Finally embracing their ancestral roots and actually taking to the sea something that they had long since like feared and stopped doing Why it's called return to the sea. Nah. Nah is redundant be false final answer. Okay, that's correct. Yeah However, let's go. I will say yeah, there were at least two sequels to the little mermaid One of which was called return to the sea and another of which was called aerials beginning So I think I've actually seen

Ew, why one of those I was a kid. What is wrong with you? I feel like I saw the Nobody watches the sequels. Nobody watches the sequels. Well after this quiz I'll tell you about one of them. I saw unless it's on your stupid little quiz. Let's keep going. Okay Is this a real or fake sequel? Okay, space balls three The search for space balls two Fuck That's extremely good that would be very mel blanc Wait mel brooks. I'm an idiot. Yeah, that'd be very mel brooks. Yes. It also be mel brook. Who's mel blanc?

I think mel blanc is actually the the voice actor like the original voice actor of um solve mel blanc That's his cousin mel blanc was a voice actor of bugs bunny. Yo somebody's sam. Are you sure about that all of the original? I think you might no, I think that's mel brooks. No mel brooks. No, you're such a no mel brooks He mel brooks did the producers mel brooks did space balls mel brooks did young frankenstein History of the world part one. Is that what that one's called? I don't know He was in that season of curb your enthusiasm This is clever, but I don't think this one's real either because I think what you may be alluding to Is space balls two the search for more money, which is a parody of

Star Trek whatever colon the search for spock something like that But I don't think they ever made something called space balls three colon the search for space balls two as amazing And apt as that title is. Um, this is another um, ernie original I actually can't take credit for it because rick moranis was interviewed at a point in time And unclear if he was joking or not But said that they were looking for funding and to try to create this sequel space balls three the search for space balls two Which was never actually produced. So that's sadly you are also correct about that. That's a great guy It's not dr. Ernie original. That's a rick moranis original. Yes

So full credit to him who is by the way, I'm pretty sure a country singer now And like he lives in jersey. Yeah. Oh, I know he like yeah He has long since retired from acting Yeah, because I think his wife had passed away and he like wanted to take care of his kids or something But I think he is also a country singer. That's kind of cool. He definitely has an album. That's pretty baller. Yeah Can we get a shout out to rick moranis, please? And I think he lives in jersey because I used to work with people who lived in central jersey that used to like run into him I think wasn't it news that he got like decked in new york or something?

Yeah, it was like trending for you know a whole day like a year or two ago. Yeah, really shitty Yeah, okay next up. Am I four for four so far? No, no, we're not keeping track Oh, we're not keeping track You already have revealed that you don't know how like ratios or percentages work by like not by thinking that like We could universally like figure out how the rotten tomatoes Just by being like oh this guy graded a c this guy said it was two out of four This person is one out of five. This person like that makes no sense. There's no common denominator. I'm four for four So four okay check. Do you remember the movie?

I believe it was actually one of our quarantine watches because I don't think you'd ever seen it before Yeah, which one the never-ending story. Ah, are you familiar? I'm familiar But I like you said I have no like childhood attachment to that franchise And I had never seen the first movie let alone any of the others outside of with you a year or two ago Right, and that was the first time I ever saw it Okay, now jack a lot of our younger listeners are probably not familiar with the never-ending story But for people who were normal children Wow, that it was definitely something that we all saw because it played on tv like pretty regularly

in the 90s, so Um as children we were all very familiar with the never-ending story and the franchise so jack Yeah, is this a real or fake sequel? Yeah, the never-ending story to The next chapter. Oh I know they've made at least three. Why do you know that clips on like youtube and shit? I think a young jack black plays a bully in three That's where my trivia begins and ends with the franchise, but I'm gonna say yes I think this is a true. I think this is a true title that sounds like it's it's appropriate

I feel like if I were making a sequel I I don't know if it's based off a but it is based off a book I think it is. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense the next chapter. I'm gonna say, uh, yeah I think that's true. That's real and I bet all my squid games on it. That is correct. All right All right. Is this a real or fake sequel? Let's go the never-ending story three. Fuck escape from fantasia. Fuck Oh man Oh man I have no idea You have to guess it's a binary quiz. Okay. Is it real or is it not?

It'd be pretty lame if they called it like instead of the next like, okay Well, would they abandon the chapter theme escape from fanta- why are we escaping from fantasia? Why would anyone want to escape from fantasia? I'm gonna say no. No, no No, it doesn't make sense. Fantasia sounds like a wonderful place. Why would I ever want to escape from such a utopia? No, you made that up. You made it up final answer final answer player one eliminated I got squid garb. All right jack. So that's what's really called never-ending story escape from fantasia. Yep Yeah, great film. I've never seen it. My like alternative title was felcors uprising. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, right? Yeah

That was a good one. I'm glad but I'm glad you went with the like you stumped me more with the yeah, it's a stupid title It is. Yeah, like very forgettable. Okay. Have you seen any of the Stuart Little movies? No, you haven't? No, in fact, I'm much I didn't know there was more than one. There are believe it or not I've only seen the first. Mm-hmm. I saw it in seventh grade with my seventh grade boyfriend adorable It was did you guys hold hands? I don't remember I hadn't had my first kiss yet. So and I know I didn't kiss him good seventh grade is too early Yeah, so um, I don't know if we held hands or not though, but he was shorter than me So I did go through a phase where I was saying like you're my little Stuart Little. Um, oh, that's funny. I'm sure he loved that

Okay, so is this a real or fake sequel Stuart Little three call of the wild All right, but I like this this is where it gets really tricky because a You know is that title real or fake and b I also have to question like did they actually ever make a third one? Right, so that's this is good. Right. I feel like they made at least a second Sure call of the wild that's a really good Then again, okay a couple of things that sounds very natural That sounds I would believe that over Stuart Little three Falcours uprising. Okay. Okay, but I can also imagine you stealing call of the wild from another movie subtitle

Like like the nutty professor three call of the wild something like that, right? Or how I stole return to the sea and exactly Hayes beginning from the little mermaid. Yeah, right Yeah, so But for the record you and I would love to watch that hey, hey Oh my god, I would love that Disney you want to make a billion dollars fast make the hey, hey spin-off movie I would watch. Yeah, I would watch the entirety of like hey, hey breaking out of a shell even though It's 20 minutes. Oh my god, like tiny little yeah These tiny little cracks just like over and over again. It'll be the finest cinema

It would beat the last like five Pixar movies. All right back to the question at hand Yes, Stuart Little three call of the wild. I'm gonna say no I think you stole call of the wild from something else. I it could fucking be nutty professor three Uh, and I'm saying that because I feel like uh, I think that was a blockbuster movie my family rented Years and years ago. I was about to ask. I'm like, you didn't see the nutty professor three I'm pretty sure I saw it The what like this is daughter becomes the new nutty professor and oh, maybe I didn't see it She can talk to the animals, but we never saw the first one or two. Wait, that's not the nutty professor

Yeah, it is that's dr. Dolittle Oh my god, wow my brains. What do you think the nutty professor is like what? But Eddie Murphy was both though, right? He was yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm just mixing my franchises up Here's the huge doctors and folks. This is like yeah, and then you're like This is where you like you're like jack Like robin Williams played a ten-year-old that like aged rapidly But he was also a mad scientist that made this green rubbery type of chaotic fluid that would fly around Cause chaos and like dance to britney spears music or whatever

Um, okay. Oh my god. Fine. I do think you stole it though. Uh Uh Be false and erin original called the wild belongs to another um sequel player one Eliminated shut the fuck up. Yeah, so sadly they made three Stuart. They made three Stuart Little's the saddest part is that Stuart little two doesn't have a subtitle. So it's just Stuart little two Yeah, so I couldn't use that but they had Stuart little three called wild. Do they include the three? Yeah Wow, because normally if like if it's so many uh sequels out in advance, they drop the number

Right because they're like, ah, fuck it. Right. Just a subtitle. It's like four or five or six. Right. Okay. How about this one? Let's go Lilo and stitch two Stitch has a glitch. Yeah, that is real. I have heard of that before never seen it The solid specifically the glitch. Yeah stitch has a glitch never seen it. It's all the first Lilo and stitch though It's cute. Good movie. It was okay. That was a date movie. I saw um, no, no, you never run on a date Shut up. I no I didn't but I I

No, I think that was a high school date for me. I think that math checks out high school. Yeah I don't remember when I came out. No, I didn't see it until like quarantine. So is that right? You never saw no Yeah, and it was it was fine. It was fine. Yeah Even back then even when I was you know, a high school kid. Yeah, I didn't think anything like I didn't think like this is fantastic Like no, it's cute. It's fun. It's funny. Yeah, um, I actually quite honestly I think we're supposed to really like stitch but I thought stitch was like a little bitch and I fucking hated stitch for most of the Movie. So are you are you sure you're not talking about Lilo because Lilo's a real minor stitch is a jerk Stitch is a jerk for most of it

He only became that at the very end to where he like understood Oh Hana means family Look, he was like a jerk most of the movie. You're not wrong. He was a jerk. Yeah, but a lovable jerk No, it wasn't lovable at all. That's why I was like get this get this asshole out of here He retracted his little arms to look like a dog. That's adorable. He's like almost ruined their lives. So I don't think there's an almost I think he straight up did all right, but um stitch has a glitch 100 a title. Uh, that's real We can agree. That's like a dumb ass title though, right? Yeah, Disney could have done a lot better Right a little lazy. That's why I picked that was because I was like that was the dumbest title You know that that title was like a placeholder for like months until finally they were like I just like gave up

Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, we just need to get this shit out. So like, okay, it's fine. It's fine We'll just call it that and we'll stick with it. You are correct. Yeah, it's a real movie sadly Okay, is this a real or fake documentary? Oh switching it up. I like, uh, did you ever see Super Size Me? I did in 2009. I think I saw that but it was like it was on a laptop screen I don't remember. I remember only like bits and pieces of it. I remember him like throwing up after his first, um Yeah, his first Super Size Me. Oh, yeah I feel so bad. It's like shut up. It's a coke and a burger and fries. You'll be fine. Um, but uh, Yeah, I remember seeing that movie and and that was a movie that like single-handedly eliminated the Super Size option

No, I don't remember. I think it did. I don't know. I think it did I think like shortly after the success of that movie McDonald's, um forever released the Super Size option And now it is but a myth. Okay. Thank thank you for enlightening us with all that information Man's playing her back at it again, baby. Yeah did. Is there a sequel? Yeah to Super Size Me There is there is we'll keep going. I'm sorry. Keep going called Super Size Me 2 Holy chicken Shit

Shit because I know it's about chicken. Is that the title though? I know it's about the chicken industry never saw it But I remember seeing posters and maybe even a trailer or two. Holy chicken. That's a really bad title Holy chicken. I maybe it's like maybe clucking bad time or something Clucking bad time. It is about chicken. It's definitely about chicken. I know he made a sequel I don't think it's called holy chicken because that's that's not even a pun That's not even because I remember the title being some kind of pun about chicken. I think like cluck me or Something like that, but holy chicken isn't anything I'm gonna say it's close but not close enough for me to say that it's real

So I'm gonna say false. You made it up. This is an air and original player one eliminated. Yeah, I don't get it I don't understand the holy chicken. I know. I don't know. I have no idea Because I knew it like I thought you were gonna be like devious and let you know Try to like switch it up and that's why I'm like self like I was down I know I made a sequel about the chicken industry right but no way is it called holy chicken. God damn it I know holy. I don't get it. I don't know. I don't get it You know what the the fact that I was doubting myself so much I I think that's a testament to how unsuccessful the uh sequel

Well, I had never heard of it until I exactly exactly and I'll bet I'll list a bad sequel So and listeners, I'll bet a lot of you are like, wait, they made a second supersize me. Yeah, exactly exactly You've at least heard of the first one But I'll I'll bet you'd be hard-pressed to find people who have heard of much less seen the second Okay, do you remember the movie twister? Do I remember honey? That was one of our quarantine movies Well, I had seen it. I think in theaters as a kid. Oh, how old are you? Yeah, I was pretty I'm I'm pretty old so um

But I think it was one of your quarantine views, right? Like you had never seen it before quarantine No, that's not true. I had seen it, but it had been about like 20 years or so. Yeah, okay But it was a quarantine watch of ours jack. Did they make a sequel to twister? Called twister to disaster never sleeps. Oh my god. Oh, stop it Oh That's really really okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. Okay. This is clever I think I see what you did. They may have made a twister sequel of that. I am not 100 percent certain I don't know. Mm-hmm, but if they did I don't think it's called

What is it danger never does that disaster never sleeps disaster never sleeps? I don't think it's that and I'll tell you why Tell me why isn't money never sleeps a uh subtitle for like, uh, it's like greed or money never sleeps Isn't that the the wall street two? Um subtitle, I have no idea. I made a wall street wall street is not on my list So I don't know I think they made a wall street sequel called wall street colon money never sleeps or greed never sleeps I think you saw it from a pre-existing um sequel I'm gonna say no this twister sequel in this form does not exist. You're correct and I did take the

It is money never sleeps. Yes. Oh my god, but but wall street is not one of these options It did not make the list. Oh, I feel so validated. Cool. Okay. How about this? This is fun Have you seen ace ventura pet detective? God damn long fucking time ago. Yeah, like over 20 years ago. Probably yeah Have you seen any of the other films in the ace ventura film franchise? I think I've seen bits of the second one sure Okay, yeah, which is titled what was that the question? No, well sure ace ventura Pet detective two doggies never sleep. Oh my gosh. No, it's um ace ventura Isn't it just wait? No, I don't remember the title of the second one

Lost in new york, I don't know Ace ventura two the animals talk back. No, wait, what's this fucking gimmick besides the fact that he's zany He's I don't know. I think he's like he's like a pet whisperer or something And he's a detective when nature calls. That's it. Thank you. Never would have come up with that on my own Okay, so jack there were actually a number of films in the ace ventura film franchise I already gave you the name of one of the sequels to ace ventura pet detective. Okay Is this a real or fake sequel ace ventura jr? pet detective

Oh God like a like a son of a mask kind of thing. Fuck. Okay No, no, they wait. Hold on. No, they wouldn't do that. Here's why I don't think they would do that ace ventura Let whole franchise was too. It was too risque for kids. It was I mean jim carry, you know jim I don't know slap sticky for sure But I don't think the like even then I knew like some of the jokes are like too risque for my taste As a kid so no way especially the first one. There was a tucking Yeah, there sure is there sure is right and the second one may have been a bit more like kid friendly

But I mean still no, I'm gonna say no They would not do it They wouldn't go the fucking junior route and go no no final answer player one eliminated I swear to god it it it starred like a kid like no, I don't even know if it's supposed to be a son But it is definitely a kid. That's awful. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's horrible Yeah Like what demographic would be like, ah sign me the hell up. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Let me read this to you Oh, that made me a little sad. I actually recognize this kid. It has a 2.1 out of 10 on imdb

That's too high, but a four out of five on voodoo. What's josh flitter is ace ventura junior It's like you said it's a little kid. Yeah, but how do I oh, I know him from nancy drew He was also in the nancy drew movies with emma roberts. Oh, I never saw that Ace ventura junior pet detective came out in 2009. Wow, that's like far away from the sequels and He is the son really original. He is the son of ace ventura Does does ace and he has to solve the case of a kidnapped baby panda But Jim carrey ever the primary suspect in the mystery is his own mother

Does ace ventura ever make an appearance? You mean jim carrey? Yeah, not according to the cast list. Good so Oh, that's really sad. So, yeah, uh, hollywood sucks dude. Hollywood. You've died a bunch at times. This is awesome I have I just want to keep i'm glad you're having fun killing you. Okay, so lawyers write that down jack Yeah, you liked gremlins, right? Sorry, I had I had a little brain fart I was like, do they pull on aliens where like the first one was just called gremlin and the second one was called gremlins But no, um, that's not true. I liked I enjoyed gremlins. Yeah, the um, the the little mog mog

Mogwai mogwai mogwai mogwai is really cute reminds me of uh, you know All of our dogs combined like the best qualities of all our dogs combined Do you remember the mogwai's name? It's not mogwai gizmo gizmo. Yeah gizmo and you can't do what with them jack You can't it's a stupidest rule in cinema. You can't Feed them after midnight. Uh-huh. What else you can't get them wet You can't get them wet But the feed them after midnight thing doesn't make sense because as it is often pointed out every time is technically after midnight Every time right. Is it whether it's 12 01 or 11 59? It's all after midnight

That makes no sense and what if they travel and they're in a different time zone. Oh god help you, you know How do those rules apply? How do we figure out whether or not they're jet lag? Don't feed them after me? Okay, so so so 3 a.m. 4 a.m. 5 6 a.m. 7 a.m. Like makes no sense Yeah, so did you ever see gremlins 2? I have not and I've heard that it's a riotous like parody of hollywood I know red letter media Did a little deep dive on it just a sequel I think um and it looked adorable Is this the real title to gremlins 2 the new batch? Oh, shit pass. I don't know new question Okay, no, I'm kidding. We'll cut this part. I'm no don't no I

Sorry, it's I was saying that as a compliment to you because this is a very hard question gremlins 2 What is the subtitle? I literally I genuinely don't know if it's the new batch or something different What could it be? I don't think it's the new I don't think it's the new batch But I can't tell you what the actual on it. I can't tell you what the actual one is kopa. Help me out gremlins 2 It could just be gremlins 2. Maybe there's no subtitle I don't think that if there is a subtitle I don't think it's the new batch and I think you're kind of mixing. I think you're doing another uh money never sleeps may may Okay, I don't I think what yeah, I'm trying to figure that out the new batch almost like say by the bell the new class

And if you came up with that by yourself props to you because that's really clever I don't think it's the new batch. There is obviously gremlins 2 never seen it heard good things I don't think it's called the new batch final answer. Let's go player one eliminated It is gremlins 2 the new batch. So sorry. So sorry. It's so sorry for your loss. Okay. I'm actually shocked. I'm genuinely surprised What about the movie big? What about the movie big? They never made a sequel. Okay Jack is this a real or fake sequel? Okay big two forever young All can I just say that's a really good subtitle. That's kind of it's perfect. It's perfect But even the straight to dvd vhs route. I don't think they ever touched the big frant

I don't think big was ever a franchise. I think it just it lived and died with the original tom hanks film Um, I don't think they ever made big two bigger I'm gonna go with uh, you made that up doesn't exist final answer. Okay, we're moving on screw you I would have heard about it. No, you wouldn't have sure All right. How about this good quiz jack? Have you seen the breakfast club? Oh? Yeah, I have honey. I went through a phase Uh-huh where I used to watch like back when I lived in korea town alone in some shitty apartment for like a year I didn't have a tv so I just want

I would just watch I would stream movies off of like super shady not even like torrent sites But just like streaming sites. Yeah, like worse. You know what i'm talking about. Yeah, like pornhub. Yeah. Okay. Uh-huh. They had the best movie I'd always need to comment No, no, no, what was um, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Sorry. It we're we're getting in the weeds Is that four 14.1% wine? You know, you know, it is. Yeah, what up copula? No, I used to stream kind of like classic movies that for whatever reason I had never seen before and I want to say like breakfast club was one of those like Oh, you hear about it all the time. It's in the pop culture lexicon. I had never seen it

I knew like, you know, don't you forget it Like I knew like the the the references and memes so I'd never seen the movie So I finally saw the movie but I'm like, you know a shitty little 13 inch macbook screen off of some like super shady streaming site so not quite the uh cinematic experience one would hope for but I have seen the breakfast club I remember so very little of it. I thought the dialogue was kind of good the uh the the the relationships and interactions Okay, I asked if you saw the movie. I didn't ask for your life story. All right So jack, did they have a breakfast club sequel called summer school the breakfast club summer school? This is one of those I don't know if it exists

But if it does it's one of those sequels that would have to exist like they probably would have pulled a uh Ace from shura junior where it would take place like decades or a decade after the theatrical release One of those like nah, fuck it. Let's reboot it or not not even reboot it But like it's like son of mask it came out like 15 years after the first one I don't think it exists though. I don't think they ever did a summer school It's a good premise and you're a genius if you came out with this by yourself Yeah, she's not making eye contact. Uh, that's how I know I'm right. Um, you made it up final answer I was actually just looking at the list, but I did make that up hell yeah

Okay, that's a really good subtitle summer school. Thank you. God damn it. That's good. Okay jack What's your favorite christmas movie oof? I do like scrooge Okay, she rolled she rolled her eyes at me because it's not favorite christmas. It's underrated. It's not underrated Nobody talks about scrooge underrated or it's rated there for a reason so but um, my butt's christmas carol is pretty good too Okay, what you're you're literally asking me what my favorite one is. Yes, not the mistletones No, is that is that your favorite because no i'm just like color me surprised. Yeah, what's my favorite christmas movie lord help me Okay, jack. So you every year. Let me just leave you to the answer every year you watch national ampounes a christmas vacation That is my favorite christmas movie with your family. Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah, uh, it's very true

And I hope my family's not listening because it took me way too long to figure that out. Yes, it did jack We can quote that one forwards and backwards jack. Did they make a sequel to that? Um, they actually did. What's it called? I'll tell you what it's called actually I let me see if I can actually get the title of this. Okay. I do know it Okay, they made a sequel, but it's like it's all about uncle eddie I'm not gonna quiz you on it then because you know it so but yeah, yeah Come up with then then here's the the quiz. Yeah, get the title correct It's like uncle eddie's island vacation something like that like that's the whole thing they go

I've never seen it but he go they go Uncle eddie's wacky family they spend christmas on an island and shenanigans ensue and it's exactly as good as you think it is No, I've not seen it. Well, then how you don't you can't speak to whether or not it's a good movie I may have seen a video essay or two on it. All right. It's called cousin eddie's island adventure damn it one word off So you were wrong. Oh, I was two words off. It's I sorry uncle eddie. I did I did cousin eddie cousin eddie's island adventure Which by the way, we need to add to our christmas movie watching list. I heard it's terrible I don't care. I love cousin eddie. If you guys haven't seen vegas vacation. Oh my god. Oh, so good No, no, no, no, no, no, no pass time of mine guys national ampoules vegas vacation is so

So good. She's obsessed with the vegas vacation one. She made me watch it years ago I've never been more straight faced in my life. It was so it's so good If you ever like I'll take some of the yellow. I'll take some of the yellow You love that you love that to me. Okay. That's that's a good line. That's one a good line But she like swears on national ampoules vegas vacation Nick papa giorgio. It's so good. Okay. It's not all right moving on jack Do you remember the movie joy ride starring the late great paul walker? I don't you don't remember that candy canes

Yes, sorry, it's rusting ale here. That is one that you and I have seen together. Yes, but I never I never heard I think it's paul walker and steve zahn. I'm pretty sure it's steve zahn. That's in that with him Do you know who steve zahn is from white lotus and Oh, sure that thing you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm pretty sure he's I think you're right the co-star of that But guys, it's a good movie by the way. Okay. It's a thriller It's a thriller not horror. I would say but definitely definitely thriller and by the cusp of horror almost I can't watch scaring movies. I could watch uh joy ride. Yeah, it's good. It is a good movie jack Did they make a sequel to joy ride called joy ride to dead ahead?

I'm gonna say yes I have no idea about the existence or non-existence of the joy ride franchise But that's why I'm gonna take a shot in the dark. That's dumb enough to exist. Absolutely Joy ride to dead ahead. What a barely there title name. Let's go for it. That's real. Okay. It's a real movie We're watching it tonight. All right jack. How about do you remember or have you ever seen the movie marley and me? No, you've never seen marley and me. No, it was like one of the first het movies like they made this movie What centered around? Yeah, it was one of no where the dog is like the center of the entire plot of the movie It's not though. He said one of the first whatever it was like it's it was a fucking classic

Wasn't there one like yeah, there's milo and otis. Um, I don't know who those people are. Yeah, wait they're both animals And and and there's one that made me cry like a bitch when I was a kid. Yeah, my dog skip. Holy shit Oh my god, that was that frankie muniz man. You want to listeners you want to cry like a bitch Watch my dog skip. You will fucking. Oh my god. Holy shit. If you want to lose five pounds in waterway Watch my dog skip. Holy shit So anyway jack did they make a sequel to marley and me called marley and me the puppy hears Ha ha ha ha

Oh my god. Oh my god. Talk about like twisting the knife if they did So I've never seen marley and me but I I do know that the spoiler the dog dies in the end I'm gonna say no I think you took the puppy ears from some other pre-existing franchise like cliford the big red dog Kind of like something akin to like the puppy ears like or the blank ears the puppy ears Yeah, he probably stole that from some pre-existing franchise where the dog hasn't died yet So my guess is uh, no, you made that up There's no such thing as marley and me to colon the puppy ears because that'd be cruel as fuck

Player one eliminated. Yeah, dude. They made the puppy ears. I know. I don't know. I don't know Hey, remember that dog who died? I know. I know. I don't know what the plot of the movie is All I know is that the puppy ears also like didn't like I didn't see the movie But I feel like didn't they get him when he was a puppy? I don't I don't I thought they did. I know I don't know like what I don't know just like home It's like basically like they've opened up like they hacked my iphone and they just like like literally it's just like going through my Like all my puppy videos. Oh my god. Yeah, I don't know. I hate hollywood Hey, you gotta make a buck. So all right jack. Have you ever seen the goonies? I have you saw the goonies?

Yeah, and I have no you know what I've seen the goonies but also, you know later in my current life I never saw it as a kid. I have no childhood attachment to it I kind of thought it was sort of annoying. I thought the kids were kind of annoying. You thought the kids were annoying I hate any movie with kids kids don't belong in movies Oh, excuse you get kids out of my movies right now Excuse you. All right jack. Did they make a sequel to the goonies called the goonies to a twist in time? No, no, they I think they did make a goonies too But I think it's more like, you know

Bavlar's treasure or something some bullshit like that. It's like someone's name and a treasure. I feel like that's more of a sequel title then I'm sorry. Was it a lot? What in time a twist in time? Absolutely not. No, that's no that's from something else a twist There's no like okay if you had to guess what movie that a twist in time is from That's a sequel. Yeah, what movie is that? No, that's a much harder question a twist in time What franchises if you're so convinced that the goonies too is not a twist in time I'm very convinced what movie is a twist in time from a twist in time. Oh my god. I know it. I know it What is it? Let me finish my wine, but I know it. Are you ready for this? I'm ready

I can't wait to see your face when I get this because you're probably thinking right now. There's no way in hell He knows this. There's no way in hell. He's not thinking anything. Don't think that you know me. You don't know me Cinderella 3 a twist in time. Why do you know that? Why do you know that I'll tell you why because there were posters and billboards plastered all over my town when I was in college when that movie came out And I was like they can't remember my best friend's name, but you remember Cinderella 3 a twist in time because I was like this is so absurd First off didn't know there was a fucking Cinderella 2 second. Why are they like going so hard on Cinderella 3 third?

Why is there time travel involved so many questions? It sticks with you This is bulls. Oh, you know what doesn't stick with you literally any of my friends names Why you gotta make it personal with the friends name any of what they look like like? Oh my god I'm so annoyed right now. Why you gotta make it personal. We're moving on. I love being right Is this jack? Did you ever see the movie free willy? I have and I remember the michael jackson music video That came along with vhs more than the actual movie itself. Did you know that they made multiple free willy movies? Absolutely I think the second one is like fire in it. Yeah fire fire. Are you just saying that because you're thinking of michael jackson's music video? I mean that that video was fire, but no

I know that free willy too. I think he has to jump over like a wall of fire or something That's a big climax. Can you imagine? They like made a whale fucking jump over a wall of fire You know they killed a lot of whales for that like that's horrible that they like they're like, ah Like think about that. You know what I mean like fucking think about that. Let's get the fifth free willy in please Oh my god. Anyway jack. Is this a real or fake movie? Yeah free willy Free willy What? Free willy escape from pirates cove

Yarr After the After the huge success of free willy too colon. We got to free him more a round table Of studio execs. We're like, all right. What are these fucking kids like pirates? That's what we'll do Ah Is hollywood

That bankrupt of creativity and that desperate they are maybe yeah Maybe they were trying to like oh pirates of the caribbean are really big right now Let's figure out a way that we can latch on to this as well. People love pirates It wouldn't have been that late though because pirates of the caribbean You don't you said it yourself all these sequels. I mean they live in They live in existence forever. So like like ace ventura was what 1994 and ace ventura jr Was made in 2009 like these things are out there forever. So free willy even though it was made in 1994 I mean, there maybe maybe uh escape from pirates cove came out in 2018 for all we know

I'm gonna say that this doesn't exist. There's no way that there's a movie called free willy Escape from pirates cove absolutely not Tell me I'm wrong. You're wrong. It's real. It exists This movie is an an actual thing. Well free your plans, baby. We have homework to do tonight We need a free willy tonight again. We have to free him harder. That's stupid willy keeps getting trapped It's kind of on the same level and because you can't tell the difference between dr. Doolittle and the nutty professor In the realm of animal movies jack. Is this a real or fake sequel? Okay, dr. Doolittle Tail to the chief

God damn it. The puns make it really hard Uh, I may have seen I've seen a dr. Doolittle Sequel and I think it was his daughter. I will tell you. Yeah, it is his like the sequels are his daughter Tail to the chief. Yeah tail to the chief tail to the chief tail to the chief Tails never sleep. Yeah Escape from chief cove. Um, I'm gonna say it's real tail. Wait. No, hold on. Don't don't log that in Don't log it in. I'm not logging it. I'm not logging it in yet. Tail to the chief Oh, that doesn't make sense. That doesn't even make sense

No, that's not real because that has nothing to tail to the chief while punny. What why that pun? Why chief? Why would they know? No, there's a sequel for sure. They're like two sequels at least No, it's not called tail to the chief player one eliminated. Yeah Tail to the chief is real and then there's also like dr. Doolittle million dollar months or something like that Yeah, but those are the numbers on them. That's like there's also like dr. Doolittle two and like so these are just the ones without numbers on them Yeah, tail to the chief. That's real. How about I should have known how about this jack? Is this real or is this fake? Have you seen ferris bueller? I have did they make a sequel called ferris bueller to another day off

Whoa, I get another day off Son of bueller. Oh god. No. No, they may have made a sequel. It's not called another day off And I don't have much to add Um, I this is another like I've saw this movie late in my life never had a big attachment to it that's me like I never saw star wars until like I was well into high school and uh, you know That's me with a lot of these like franchises and 80s and 90s classics and hits I'm trying to think what I remember about like ferris bueller how that could like aid me in this but I There's not much there. There's not much there. I think it's just one of those slightly overrated movies

That for whatever reason just gained access into our pop culture lexicon that we use every day But I'm gonna say that no the sequel if there is one is not titled or subtitled another day off That's incredibly lazy if true I believe that at one point they were trying to get it produced, but it was never produced So you are good for them. Hollywood way to have some class, you know God bless you speaking of overrated movies. Yes that have somehow made it into like pop culture Mainstream whatever that people like idolize for some reason even though they're not that good of a movie Yeah, we do that a lot a christmas story. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah jack

Did they make a sequel to a christmas story called my summer story? Oh, fuck wow That's hard as shit. I've seen that movie front to back exactly Uh, uh one times and it was one too many times like I was I was like, you know single digits old probably Yeah, I will never understand that movie. No, why they play 24 hour No, marathons that movie on christmas. Why that one? I don't understand it at all I will never understand the fascination with the leg lamp. No, I don't get it. I don't get it No, it's funny because his tongue stuck to the pole. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't understand It's not funny. I don't get it. None of it's funny. Hey diehard

You know fans of that movie feel free to call in at dad hug me 10 or don't or just don't I don't need to hear from you. No, I don't I don't want to know because I have already seen what I need to see And don't call in never call in from here on out. Don't call in my paternal grandmother really liked that movie Ellen Man, that's really really hard assuming it's a franchise. I know Virtually nothing about did they ever make a summer story? I feel like they would they probably latched onto the Weird cult like success. I feel like maybe I'm wrong I feel like this is one of those movies that like didn't perform very well when it first came out

And then in the years and decades that followed, you know Kind of gained that superstar cult like status, but a summer story. Is that what you said my summer story Can I get a bit more copula, please? You sure can since I definitely sound like I could use I Hollywood is so greedy. You know what? Yes. Absolutely. Hollywood probably made this movie They had dollar signs in their eyes. They're like, well if Christmas did well Why wouldn't summer do well that way we can monopolize like two halves of the year? Of course, this exists. Finally answer. This does exist. Unreal What I do want to hear from is call into the hotline if you've actually seen this movie

Yeah, who has seen this movie or any of these? Any of these or any of these sequels? Okay, jack. We're coming up on time. I have a handful more I love these but we've been recording for a while now. What if we do like a part two or something? I don't know. Maybe we could do a part two. Yeah, we're gonna do one of my favorite franchises Not like actually but like in theory. Yeah, one of my favorite franchises. Yeah, we're gonna do a rapid fire round And you get literally three seconds to say real not real real not real. Okay. Okay, let's go. All right This franchise has like 15 movies. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I have chosen a smathering of the subtitles

Fuck it's lamb before time, isn't it? It is lamb before time And you have to tell me Is this real or is this not real? Littlefoot's pubescent adventure Are you there god? It's me little foot True true Okay, jack. Let's go. This is our final rapid fire round. Yeah with the lamb before time Okay, real or not real the lamb before time the wisdom of friends not real incorrect The lamb before time little foot's luck real incorrect

The lamb before time Extinction not real correct the lamb before time Invasion of the tiny sources. Oh, that's real correct The lamb before time the big freeze incorrect. That's ice age incorrect. That is a real lamb before time movie I would say overall according to this quiz. You failed. You're dead. You are extinct. Okay Shit. Hi honey. Yeah pat yourself on the back. Thank you. That was probably your best quiz ever I

I was a little fearful that I would be too smart for your quiz and you dashed those hopes and those fears Against the the bastion of the sea of cinema I would say the most disappointing part about the quiz is that we now know that you know what the title of cinderella 3 a twist in time it's and that is It was plastered everywhere in dc for like a summer. It's been 15 years jack You barely even know your family members. You don't have to you know old shamey like that

All right, is it time is it I think it is honey. It's horoscope time By the way, this is the first episode of scorpio season Scorpio Wow, you know what's weird Ernie? What's that? We felt so strongly about Libras and how horrible terrible No good very bad Libra season was that I'm a little burnt out at the moment Yeah, after all the traumatic events that we went through in the last few years and then throw in Libra season Which was arguably the most painful of all the events. I am tired

I'm so so tired and it doesn't help that like nobody really gives a shit about scorpios, right? I Like after all we've been through now We're supposed to use our energy to channel a horoscope for a sign that like makes no sense I hear the scorpios are like the quote water signs that wear a leather jacket and quote How can you be emotional but also like not ever share those emotions? Sounds like a ticking time bomb to me and you know what they say about bombs. What's that? Don't say it on an airplane They do it

So because I'm so tired, I guess uh, I guess I'll share something I know about scorpions Which are basically scorpios. They glow in the dark with a black light weird So if you live in a warm desert climate and have scorpions around just get yourself a black light The same rule applies if you have a fear of scorpios just shine a black light on them They light up brighter than Simon Cowell's fake teeth Uh, what a terrifyingly specific image to end on there And how do you know they're fake? Oh, please. Oh my gosh By the way, we would what else we would love to have Simon Cowell as a guest

Can we can we get can we get him on? This Stunning estate is an entertainer's dream With panoramic views of the city lights this nine acre home site exudes elegance privacy and tranquility Chef's kitchen has been updated with dual refrigerators separate red and white wine cellars And a walk-in oven master bedroom includes an indoor pool a playstation three And one of those bathrooms where the toilet is in its own little mini room cool. Oh shoot I'm sorry. This isn't a horoscope at all. This is a zillow listing that I saved for air in time

I have a nasty little habit where I look up ridiculous mansions on zillow and then audibly scream Every time I see something under 10,000 square feet Your horoscope is eight bedrooms and 10 and a half baths. Oh, that's a good horoscope I mean that walk-in oven though. Yum. Yum. Everyone needs one of those, you know for Thanksgiving, right? The turkey just walks right in. Mm-hmm. Today's Capricorn Horoscope is coming to us courtesy of emmy emmy has channeled her gods And she will be delivering us the capricorn horoscope. Thanks, emmy

Capricorn Congratulations, Capricorn You've been selected by legendary film star bill murray to represent him in a defamation lawsuit against the hit podcast Aaron is the funny one your task as mr. Murray's lawyer is to prove that your client has never sworn any Uncrustable now this won't be easy. He's definitely guilty and the bruglass crew isn't backing down inside a fight I heard they hired incel andy and the coast to haunt the podcast studio as their lawyers I mean talk about a dynamic duo The odds are stacked against you capricorn. Good luck and be sure to keep bill away from the freezer

Can I just say they nailed the cadence of our horoscope so well That is a faithful long-time listener. Emmy is awesome. Yeah, emmy good on you, emmy But also we have some work to do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, shit not looking forward to that lawsuit because he's got that ghost buster money Oh my god, he's rolling You know, he also doesn't really give a shit. So I don't know. I feel like he wouldn't try But I mean he I mean he he has lawyers though that and we all know incel andy has got a lot of pent up aggression So that's true. He does by nature. So he's a troublesome guy that incel andy incel andy Your horoscope is a real

big one fam You don't want to you don't want to sit down for this one. Uh, oh Mom mommy's had too much wine Okay You're sitting down, right? Okay You're gonna get an email from Your old from your from your old english teacher. Remember your old english teacher

And the subject line will read I know what you did But the email is just a picture of gangster tweedy bird You know gangster tweedy bird. Look, look, I know it doesn't make sense But that's that's what that's what the gods are telling me And mama don't lie babe, honey. Are you all right? I think we need to cut you off from the copula It's the 14.1 percent. That's a lot for shard. I mean, thank you for powering through that But it was a little embarrassing to listen to listen to Pisces Okay, shut up shut up once again. Do people care about Pisces?

I know I don't at least not this week. All I can think about is the upcoming spider-man 4 Homecoming court sequel It's very nostalgic because I It's very nostalgic because I was never invited to my homecoming dance So I've never went but I think they used to happen around this time of year So I'm living vicariously loving it Damn you

I'm pretty sure that the plot of this movie is the homecoming court It's made up of all the actors who have played spider-man before And then we all get to vote on who our favorite spider-man is and then the winner is crowned homecoming king Aunt Susan or whatever the fuck her name is it's going to be crowned homecoming queen because Mary Jane is the lamest character Like if Mary Jane was worth anyone's time, she would be a playable character in super smash brothers turbo This hearts to read But she isn't which proves my point I hope that when Tom Holland wins homecoming king, which we all know he will he does

He does that umbrella dance that I did on lip-sync battle because that was hot as all hell You know what? Yeah, that's it. That's your horoscope for the week If you haven't seen the Tom Holland lip-sync battle umbrella dance go youtube it your life will be changed forever Oh my god. Hey guys real quick listeners Can I just say like earlier today when we're both like hold up in our separate rooms writing horoscopes Aaron literally asked me like what's Peter Parker's aunt's name and without a second thought i'm like aunt may Just got it. Thank you And then proceeds to write aunt Susan or whatever the fuck

Fuck you. You're such a troll. God damn it But yeah, that's a really good horoscope go see the umbrella dance by tom holland by tom holland This halloween don't give out any candy Instead when kids come to your door and say trick-or-treat simply respond with wow, that's great And eat a snickers bar in front of them. Just keep staring at them slowly eating your snickers bar Don't break eye contact Wait for one of the kids to break first when they do and they always do Throw the rest of your half-eaten snickers bar into their bag and shut the door

Fuck them kids. That's the horoscope. Whoa easy there honey. How dare these people arrive at our house stores though? Expecting candy. I don't even keep candy in the house. No, it's the worst kind of entitlement. I've got leftover Domino's do you want that? Do you want that? You want four four-day old stale pizza? Hello fresh That's unmade. I could give you all the ingredients to a nice meal. I'm not sponsored by the way there you go But could be you know kids these days these kids and their entitlement it disgusts me So that must mean they're disgusting. This week's torus Horoscope is a courtesy reading from our friend nick Hey nick

Taurus it's almost that time of the year torus. That's right. It's time for you to steal those dumb kids candy this halloween It's simple just have one friend hide in a bush and scare the kids while you run buying grab their bags as they're screaming Extra points if you knock over a kid or two Remember morals and principles don't matter on halloween. No all that matters Is that we taste the victory as you and your friend lavish over your mountain of candy? And you won't feel bad about it because you're the kind of fat adult who hates kids in happiness happy halloween You absolute monster. Can't we just find out how you'll talk this come christmas if you realize Grinch? I like nick. What sounds like that we have a lot in common with nick that we're sad sad

Individuals that don't appreciate children. That was really weird that like and I swear to god like none of that was planned I did not look so like well the gods planned it. Yes, so the gods, but that was not coordinated What just happened because it's really the last word everything in the universe is You're not helping never mind never mind. It's trying to do something, but thank you nick Jim and I Today you'll find the weirdest comment on pornhub and that's because every comment on pornhub is the weirdest comment Who are these insane people commenting on pornhub? Who fucking logs in the pornhub has a pornhub account? I was about to ask yeah, who even can log in right has a pornhub account makes a little profile pick

Thumbs up other pornhub comments Who are these degenerate scumbags that defy logic reason and decency? But again today you're gonna find the weirdest comment on pornhub. You're assuming a lot About jem and I right now that they're even gonna be on pornhub today. That's true. That is an assumption, but I'm confident in cancer Man, I'm still thinking about that Tom Holland video. I mean, how could I not up top? I hope nobody votes for toby Mcguire He was easily the worst spider-man and he and Aaron share a birthday. So I know he's evil Excuse you. What while we're on the topic

I think in the next spider-man sequel we should kill off spider-man that way we end on a high note I mean, we're never going to do any better than Tom Holland Just my personal opinion or we could make spider-man have a baby What and then all the sequels will be about the son of spider-man. Oh my gosh We could call him spider boy or spider fella spider champ spider tiger I see it now the great adventures of spider taut and aunt barb or whatever the fuck her name is Damn it And now I'm getting it

Hey, if this idea ever gets used I want to be compensated for my ideas your horoscope is to start writing the script for spider child 3 Your mama and the big bangs black holes get to work. What was that last one? spiders your mama and I think I think the gods were like Trying to like make a pun with like yo mama bangs like but big bangs like your yo mama and the big bang Theory and also black holes. I I can't I don't know what the gods are talking about Is The gods were trying to do something and failed like your mama bangs black holes or something

I don't know. No, I'm not sure what they were trying to go for no I could have heard them incorrectly. I think I need to clean out my ears too You've really got honey when you shower you really got to dig deep in in your ears. I mean You will not be whole this halloween until you make this perfect halloween cocktail First pour a spooky shot a fireball into your mouth. Okay next pour another Ghoulish shot a fireball into your mouth. Okay repeat until your belly feels warm Next overshare with an acquaintance at a house party Then spend the next day hungover and paranoid that you said something that you shouldn't have

Wee happy halloween Woo What a spooky cocktail I'll try that well the best part about that cocktail is that it's actually can be done Any time of the year? I suppose you could but I feel like halloween is the appropriate time to do it That's what makes it spooky. It is very spooky. You know that all day gloom That just hangs over you it makes you paranoia makes you think that everybody hates you. What did I tell my ex? Today's Virgo Horoscope is being channeled by a special friend and guest of the podcast from a land far far away

Almost in an entirely different universe. I'm not even sure there. God speak the same language as we do It's from tim and tim hails from the far far mythical mythical. I'm not even sure it's a real land of Australia Wow And tim tim wants to tell the Virgos what he sees for them. Take it away tim Virgo Big gained a few pounds stress eating due to getting the ship roasted out of us each week during Virgo season Don't worry me too, but fear not for the gods have an easy weight loss trick for you all to try Grab your phone and delete five leavers from any social media platform of your choosing

Why livery you may ask well besides making mediocre at best wine and not quite knowing how to spell the word dog correctly It's the motherfucking Dio single g the shorthand for pounds You know the lbs after the number actually stands for leavers. So logically this should work Okay, so you're done. Cool. You should be five pounds lighter now. How easy was that? Oh, it didn't work Oh, shit. I must only work for gods. Oh, that sucks. What? One of the leavers you deleted was your girlfriend Shit quick at her back at her back and say ha ha. It was just a trust exercise, right? Seriously, she's already messaged back saying she's broken up. Oh, fuck man. That escalated quickly

You know what though? I bet she was already cheating on you with a leo I mean typical leavers, right? Am I right fellas up top? Am I right? Anyway, your horoscope for this week can be To tell a leaver to go suck a fat one. Okay. See you. Bye I Thanks, tim From the distant mythical land austria. I'm not even sure australia is a real place. I'm not either if it is I've been I don't know. I mean, we're still trying to figure out if pandora from avatars real We sure are always so um, and i think australia falls into that same realm. Sure sure and it's like the room of requirement

It shows up when you're least looking for it. Yeah, but it sounds as though lebras are just as big of shitheads in australia As they are here some things just don't change. Wow. Isn't that beautiful? Anyway, delete five leavers from your life all of your like ailments cured. Well, like tim said only if you're a god Oh my god, you guys what we have a huge treat for this week. I don't know how we did it But somehow Vincent price what is here in the studio how today pet cemetery man pet cemetery Yeah, and he wants to share this next horoscope for spooky season. No way Yeah, give it up for the master of horror mr

Vincent price Greetings ghouls and goblins alike Tis the witching hour When fiendish happenings are commonplace And this halloween, I have a question most foul Who are these fuckers leaving comments on porn hub? I don't understand it. Yes like why What the fuck who watches porn and then leaves a comment about it

It's poor. No commentary is Needed I came back from the dead just to say this Wow, thanks mr prize. I love that pet cemetery. It comes in handy all the time It's never the same, but it comes in handy. That's for sure I don't want to sound ungrateful like it's amazing that we somehow got Vincent price here in the studio But he sounded more british than usual. No No, I don't I disagree. I we just watched Edward scissor hands like he is We just watched Edward scissor hands. I that sounded I don't know

You know what though? I will say the pet cemetery changes people. You know what that's fair It does that could be that could be a thing and it's nice to know that he also feels the same way about porn hub comments You know, it's it's comforting. You know, what's sad is that he came back from the dead and is trolling porn hub But it also makes so much sense about like because once you come back from pet cemetery, you're evil Right, so like that makes sense. I don't think it's evil to no master masturbation is evil. It is I can't believe I just said that word And on that note, thank you so much for listening to the 18th episode of erin. We're gonna end up cutting that. Okay. No It's funny. Oh my god. If you want to cut it, we can cut it. Whatever. Okay. Thank you so much for listening to our 18th episode

Our legal episode of erin is the funny one. Dr. Ernie was in studio today But as any real doctor will tell you any real doctor Don't do any naughty naughty things that you can legally do now that you're 18. Don't do it It's bad for your health I don't even know what 18 year olds can do because I think you have to be 21 to like do anything Okay, harmful to your health now. So anyway, thank you all for tuning in keep tuning in so that we can keep making a full jack film Yeah, that's what we're here for. I was made the butt of many a joke today on this quiz and uh, honestly honey Not a bad quiz. You actually kind of stepped it up this week. Wow. What's in you? We got in you. What a compliment

I know so nice That was a lot of fun And perhaps we could do a part two at some point because I had a lot of fun Tune in next week and keep coming back. Oh and also keep channeling your horoscopes And calling in to dad hug me 10. Yes, please love to hear from the gods of distant lands Because you know, we like to spice it up every now and then. Yeah, also keep calling in with your quiz ideas And oh my god, please don't stop because like topic ideas. Those are so much fun. Yes. Love to hear from you guys Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next week and my quiz idea for next week came from you guys

So just think about that. Bye