Erin is the Funny One - State Laws: FACT or CRAP

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

This week, Cranky Jack and Honest-All-The-Time Erin are back for a brand new episode! Kicking things off, it’s Erin’s turn to pick the wine of the week and what better way to brighten a cloudy day than Love You Bunches Rosé, right…right?! Then, it’s time to go to civics class…are these state laws FACT or CRAP, you be the judge! Erin is the Funny One is sponsored by: NordVPN. Go to nordvpn.com/ERIN or use code ERIN to get a huge discount, 1 additional month free and a bonus gift. The Zebra. Go to thezebra,com/ERIN and get your free quote today. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Hi, welcome back to Aaron is the Funny One, episode 36. Tonight, we are joined by a very moody Jack's films. He is certainly in a mood, but I got to tell you guys, at least I'm happy to be here with you all today. You caught me at a cranky time of day of my life, I guess. The crankiest. I'm so sorry. Are we in your way for playing more Elden Ring? I'm sorry to be fair.

Everything and everyone is I'm not kidding. I actually do think that you are annoyed that you have to hang out with me for however long tonight instead of. But I just got to the Katelyn realm, whatever the fuck it is, like in Elden Ring. Oh, absolutely. Of course. Be honest, scale from one to 10. Yeah. How annoyed are you about having to be with me and the listeners right now, then playing Elden Ring negative one?

No, be honest. Four. It's actually lower than I thought it would be. No, nay, nay, nay, I've just been in a foul mood all day. You really have been, man. You used to, by the way, so today we had a very, very cloudy day here in L.A. I know today, by the way, just buckle up, guys. We're going to be talking about the weather for the next hour. Everybody's favorite topic.

No, we had a very cloudy gray day today. Usually it is days like that where I feel outside of my own skin. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I kind of want to be napping, but I shouldn't and can't be napping. But like you feel very outside your own body. What the fuck is all this? Yeah, what is this? I don't really want to be alive right now with this weather looking like this.

I have always, I swear to God, I mean, I think that my perfect job, if I were better at science and physics and all that would be a pilot. And it's because every single day they get sunshine. Right, right. Because they rise above. Boy, you'd have to be so much better at so many things. Right? I know I'm so shit at all of the things, but like that would be perfect for me

because it's literally the, I don't know, the only job I can never get seasonal depression. Yeah, it's the, exactly. It's the only job I can think of. They see sunshine every day. It's crazy. Anyway, even at night, even at night, if you go high enough at night, you can see the sun. I did it.

I said that just for the look. Jack, I might not be good at science, you're not, but I at least know that the sun doesn't shine at night. Well, if you go high on Thursdays, okay. So anyway, usually it's days like today that I get all like, right. Today's different. Well, no, today's different in that you thrive. This is your favorite type of weather.

That's true. You love overcast weather. I do. I don't like when the sun's out. I like when the sun's tucked away and it's cool and gray. It's my fit, not raining. I don't like rain, but I love gray. It's, you know what?

It's great for our listeners and wife. It's really good for shooting. It's really good for filming because there are no harsh sunbeams. You don't get any of that heart. Everything has this nice, even exposure. It's perfect for filming and you pray for days like that when you got to film outdoors and they rarely happen, but mama me when they do. Yeah, I can't.

But anyway, these are the days that you're usually like, this is amazing. Whatever. Not today. Not today. Today you've been, you've been in a foul mood all day long. I really sucked all the, all the cranky today. I don't know. It'll pass.

It's already passing. It's not though. As soon as like this, here's the difference between me and Jack film. I once had a coworker tell me I almost had, they described it to me as a fault. They were like, you have this problem where if somebody asks you a question, you can't not be honest about it. Yeah, that's accurate. They like, I'm an oversharer.

Uh-huh. I will tell you way more than you've asked for. In most cases, I am like overly honest in a way. And I don't mean that to be like, I'm an empath or whatever the fuck. But it's like, it's like, it's an overshare. Yeah. Honest level. Like people don't want the level of honest that they get for me.

You overshare. It's, it's, and they'd literally, my coworker literally described it as a fault because I oftentimes at work, especially you need to find ways to like massage a certain message. Right. But if somebody asked me a question, I'm going to give them my opinion. And I'm going to, yeah. Anyway, me saying to you or you saying like, oh, it's already going away.

That's a lie. You're lying. No, I'm feeling better. Just like chilling. No, you're not. I am. You're such a no, you're not. You know what the worst most annoying thing to say to someone who is cranky is?

Why are you cranky? Why are you still cranky? So you are cranky. So you admit that you're so cranky. I'm just saying that's like the worst thing to say. It's like, if you're telling someone who's trying to get less cranky, I'm feeling better. No, no, no, that's not, no, because then that gives them the opportunity to

be honest and just vent and talk about why they're fucking cranky. Now I'm good. Oh my gosh. And this is why men have emotional problems because they don't communicate their feelings. Emotional damage, emotional damage. Don't sing that like you watch TikTok. What?

That's from Vine. That's from TikTok. I hate TikToks. I hate you so much. So yes, we'll call it even anyway. Jack and I were on a podcast last week and they probably have already released a new episode by now, but I highly, highly, highly recommend that you listen to it.

It is a podcast called punch up the jam. It was with two of the loveliest Gregory brothers. So talented, so funny. Andrew and Evan, they have this amazing podcast punch up the jam. Basically, we got to spend hours with these hilarious, hilarious guys. And just musical geniuses too, honestly. Straight up. You might know them as part of Shmo Yoho and Songify the News.

We spend hours talking about the Backstreet Boys and the best song probably ever made ever in the universe. I want it that way by the Backstreet Boys. We get to talk about everything Backstreet Boys, everything I want it that way. And then at the end of the podcast, they came up with a better version of I Want It That Way. They really did. Listen to it.

Honestly, like listen to their podcast, listen to how they come up with it. It's brilliant. I sent them on an impossible mission. You did. It was a suicide mission, but they returned. But it was amazing. And so guys, could you please look up punch up the jam and listen to the episode with Jack and I.

It came out probably a few weeks ago. No, last Thursday, two Thursdays ago, whatever that is. But take a look, search Jack Douglas or Jack's Films. It is so funny. They are so funny and they deserve all the listens in the world. Anyway, and we had a blast doing it. Yeah, we did. Jack, film, what are we drinking?

What are we drinking? So well, let me tell you a little something, something about this, this wine that I picked out. Yeah. Why don't you, why don't you give us the intro? So instead of sending Jack film to the wine store, I sent myself, but I do so well. So as of late, I have become an in office girl boss person all over again back

to the offices back to the offices because COVID doesn't exist. So yeah, we'll see about that. I'm giving, I literally gave it, I'm like, all right, let's give this over under like two months. I think I'm probably going to get COVID within the first two months of being back in the office. You think? Yeah, I do.

And then I'm going to come home and I'm going to bring it to you. Yep. I do. Today was a, sorry, I was just thinking like it's interesting. Like today was as of this recording. We have made it over two years without COVID and I'm about to get it. Yep. Yeah.

Yep. Also, as of today's taping, E3 was officially canceled, although I feel like they canceled the in person thing months prior. So today I was just like the digital thing too. So maybe that's not COVID related, but I don't know. So what's your point? That I had a, hold on, I had one. Shut up.

No, just that like, yeah, COVID's here to say whether, you know, we pretended is or isn't. Yeah, I kind of feel that way. Yeah. But like, sadly, I know numerous people who have now had it multiple times. So apparently, I don't. This is really a bummer. Let's move on to the wine.

Shut up. I'm talking about my life right now. Listen. Okay. So I'm an in office lady. Yesterday I went on my lunch break because I have that now. Remember those? So weird.

I went to Whole Foods and guys, let me tell you a little something some about the Whole Foods wine selection. I feel like when I used to go to a Whole Foods, it felt like I was going to a Whole Foods and yesterday I went to the Whole Foods wine section and it was almost identical to the wine selection that you would find literally anywhere. Ralph's, Bond's, CVS, Rite Aid, huge box. How do I explain this?

Like the national big wine brand stuff. I feel like in the olden days, pre-Amazon Whole Foods, you used to be able to find little like niches, niche, niche, niche, you know, that's just like little, you know what I mean? Like something that was a little bit more unique or something. I don't know. Anyway, just a more unique selection. I seriously saw every single wine brand that you would come across in any wine,

any commercialized franchise wine store nationally. So that said, I did find this adorable rosé and what's funny is that I picked it out yesterday before Jackville was in a bad mood and now he's in a bad mood and it makes me want him to drink it less because I don't feel like he deserves it because this wine is called Love You Bunches. And I don't feel the love in bunches right now. You don't feel the love? At all and it is from Santa Maria, California.

It's from Stolpman Vineyards and it is a rosé, a 2021 rosé and it's 12 and a half percent. It's also called like so fresh. I don't know how that, but it says Love You Bunches on the label. That's like all the bottle says is Love You Bunches. Maybe it was like a Valentine's wine that they had like leftover or something because it is pink. It's unclear.

But on the back, it's a so fresh rosé wine, Central Coast, Love You Bunches 2021. I don't know. I don't know guys, any Hoosers. Let's see what the Vivino app has to say about that. Jack from, why don't you tell us what you think? Yeah, as far as rosés go, it feels light. I normally don't go for the rosés, but this one is non-offensive. This one is like a sitcom with a laugh track.

It's not going to offend you. It's not going to tell too many jokes that you disagree with. It's a very inoffensive, safe rosé. All right. Oh man, I wish I had looked up how much I paid for it. I actually threw away my Whole Foods receipt like an hour ago. It has 989 ratings. It's a lot of ratings.

3.9 out of five stars. It's a little higher than I'd give it, but okay. And average price is $24.99. I can't imagine I would have spent, it is kind of high. I can't imagine I would have spent any more than that because I am not somebody who just like opts for very expensive wine. No. So anyway, what would you give it?

What's your Jack film rating? I would give it closer to like three out of five. Really? I don't think that. Yeah. I think 3.9 is far too high. It's inoffensive, but like it's also not grand. So three out of five, perfectly mediocre average rosé.

What do you think? I like it. It's a tad dry. Uh-huh. And when I say a tad, I mean a tad. But how many errands? It's, did you say it was sweet? No.

Okay. Cause I'm like, I didn't think it was very sweet at all. No. It is a little bit more on the tart side. It is light. Yeah. I'm going to give this one six out of 10. That's a three.

That's a three out of five as well. Okay. Stop showing off with your freaking, you know, reducing the denominator. That's right. Okay. Yes. Oh, my, my fourth grade math is coming back to haunt me or whatever grade. I don't remember.

So anyway, pray for our souls as I try to get through this ruling episode with a moody jack film who very clearly doesn't want to be hanging out with me right now. That's not true. That is so true. I'm having a blast with this. Love you bunch. Wow. Okay.

Wow. Well, I do have something fun planned. I have a quiz planned. I believe, did this idea come from one of our listeners? It did. So it actually, I think maybe came from more than one listener. So the quiz idea that I am going to quiz Aaron and you listeners on today is weird us state laws where I recite a weird us state law and you have to determine if

it's true or false is an actual real weird us state law more. This is something I made up. I believe Aaron is looking up to see if there's any record from our hotline either in the texts or the voicemails. And for those who are not aware, yes, we do have a hotline just for this podcast. Please don't share it on social media. We want to keep this a tight little click. Our hotline.

If you ever want to call in or text in is dad hug me 10. That's D A D H U G M E one zero dad hug me 10 and feel free to call or text in whenever you just want to pop in and say hi or talk about something we talked about or if you have an idea for a future episode of the podcast, a quiz idea or just something fun you'd like for us to discuss. Okay. So this I got almost just just days apart from opposite areas of the world. Oh, no way.

Yes. I had somebody text in from Sweden. That's wild. Dan from Sweden texted in and said, what do you think about one of you quizzing the other on some absurd laws out there? Love that. It's an oldie, but a goodie. I'm sure some could get a good laugh.

So Dan from Sweden first texted in and then we also got a voicemail from Stephanie from Florida. So I have a feeling that Stephanie and Dan in Sweden probably don't know each other, but their minds are thinking alike, which makes me think maybe they're on the same wavelength and speaking to the gods together. Uh-huh. Yeah. And so this is Stephanie's voicemail with the same exact idea.

Okay. Hi, Jack and Erin. My name is Stephanie. I am from Milton, Florida. Now this is for Jack. So Erin, I need you to leave the room, honey. I love you. Love you.

Love you. Okay. Jack, I've got an idea for a quiz for Erin. Now, I know you've been doing fake facts, but how about a quiz where you test Erin on fake absurd laws and she has to figure out are they fact or crap? You got it? I got it.

All right, honey. Happy trails. Happy quiz. But anyways, seriously love you guys. Enjoy the podcast. Have fun. Fact or crap. I like that.

So Stephanie, Dan, thank you both. Yes. Wonderful idea. We attached to it so much that we decided that this is what we would be doing, but I don't know what the quiz is. Jack wrote it, did it, whatever. So take it away. Yeah.

I got a whole bunch of weird US state laws. Wow. Dan from Sweden would not appreciate that. Yeah. I made it, you know, homegrown in the US of A and honey, you have to tell me if this weird US state law is real or if I made it up. Okay. Let's start off with a nice little warm up weird law.

All right. By the way, I would just like to put on the record. Yeah. I love laws. I am a law abiding citizen. Not true. There was that one time. I know exactly what you're going to say.

I did get an underage drinking citation. However, however, I was at first off, let me tell, I'll tell the story. Tell the story. It was the year is 2006. Set the scene. I was a week away from turning 19 years old and I was at a Philly's game with a few friends and funny enough, one of the friends, parents and family. And there is a bar in kind of the parking lot of the Philly's stadium.

Sure. I hope this doesn't sell them another. Like I don't mean to throw anybody on the bus, but like also this was, this was fucking literally over 15 years ago. Like you can't prove shit. All right. So anyway, I had gotten a fake ID. My girl.

So one of my friends that I was with was a waitress at a restaurant and she, somebody had left their ID at the restaurant and never came back to claim it. And so this person had blue eyes and looked nothing like me. Right. We were pale and had blue eyes, but that was all, that was where the resemblance stopped and she gave it to me. She was like, you could use this as a fake ID because it's a real license, but whatever.

And so one, that I guess that's my first law that I broke fraud, like straight up identity theft. Um, but really I just wanted to drink alcohol. America's greatest pastime, drinking at a ball game. So we drank at the bar before the game. In the parking lot, in the parking lot, basically. And then we go into the game and I had, there was a guy that was like going up and down the aisles with the beer things like around his neck or whatever.

And we had bought a bunch of Bud lights or something. And so they hand us the beer. Like we buy them, they take our money, but then immediately on the other side, they've got the guy that goes, let me check your ID. I feel like that's just a very, he stole my $7 for the beer. Like, yeah, that's fucked up, right? That's what they'll sell you the beer. That's a backwards ass process.

Yes. Yeah. They'll sell you the beer and then you're guilty. Right. And, but they got your money, but they got your money. So fucked. And then they, um, they're like, let me see your ID. So I showed them my ID and they're like, that's not you.

And I was like, that's me. That is totally me. And they were like, you're coming with us kid. Oh, I love how they called you like that at you. That's bold. So, so if you guys have ever been to the Philly stadium, I hope to God, you never have to find this out, but they have like a little jail inside of the Philly stadium.

And so I will never forget. Like, oh my gosh. And it's so stupid, silly, but like 18 year old me was inside of the like thing. I'm crying my eyes out. You're probably scared shitless. And I had asked there, they were playing the Philly's game on a TV, like in this little, well, there was a rain delay. So the game had stopped and I didn't know where my friends were at this time.

I must have had a like a cell phone, but like, yeah, I don't even know like if I could, like, I don't even know. I don't, could, could, did we text each other? Oh, six. Yeah. You probably had like a flip phone. T nine. Yeah.

Yeah. So, um, I had asked the man, the policeman, I had asked him like, is the game over or did it just stop? And he said, no talking. He was like, no, I'm not even kidding. He was like, shut the fuck up. You don't talk, you don't ask questions. Oh, I was joking.

What? No, he freaked out. I was, and I was just, I mean it. I was stunned. I had never been spoken to like that by another person. And this is like my like stupid privilege of like just being like, why would you speak to me like that? I never heard this part of the story.

Oh yeah. He was horrible. And then this other guy that was there, like, cause I was a mess. Like I was like, like crying so hard. Anyway, he felt bad for me and he was like, it's a rain delay because the other man had been so mean to me. Anyway, so they give me a citation. I go, I go to court.

I think it was like the next day. Geez. They gave me a citation. I had to be at court downtown. That's rough. My dad was so mad. Oh my God. He's, I don't think he's ever been madder at me than that day.

He's like, right? So anyway, so we go to court. There's, by the way, like at least 50 other kids my age there for the exact same thing. Brilliant. So stupid as I go up to fight. So we're into like a rotate. It's literally like I had already been assigned my community service.

So like they're like, cause it's like standard. I think it's just like, it happens all the time. Like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Um, so I go up to the judge cause the judge is the one that like officially gives you the like sentencing. Right. And so it's my turn. I stand up and the judge is like, well, I believe I know what you're here for

cause it has a description of what you're here for. However, the citation number, like law number that they claim that you have like did is incorrect. So technically you didn't commit any crime. So you're free to go and I was like, what? That's what you call a miracle. I, it was a straight up miracle. I have a theory that the guy that typed at the citation, he was the same guy

that was like being nice to me. Oh, you think? I think so. You got like a guardian angel. No, I think he felt so bad for me that he threw me a typo, but he knew what he was doing. I think he threw like, I think he did me a salad. What a twist.

Anyway, that's privilege for you. So you bad at your big blue eyes, but I love laws. Oh, and by the way, after I got out and like after I had like not got out of the courtroom, but after I got out of the Phillies game and I had my citation in hand, uh, where do you think we went back to that bar? My friend's parents had like buttery nipple shots waiting for me. It was. Oh, that's hilarious.

Anyway, I don't know. Nothing was learned. I do. No, nothing was done. Not at all. Um, but I do not condone underage drinking, be safe, be kind to your, you know, but you suffered zero consequences. Actually zero.

Incredible. No, my dad, my dad was really mean to me. Your dad was mad. Hmm. So, uh, by the way, like a year or two later, I found the guy that was the guy that like came and checked my ID and was like, this isn't you. He still worked at the Philly stadium and I went up to him and he remembered me. Oh word.

Yeah. He worked like security or whatever. And I was like, do you remember me like 21 by this point? If this was two years later. Okay. And I was like, do you remember me? I was like, and he did remember me. We took a picture together.

He's like, I never forget a face. So I remember every ID I've checked. I love the law. All right. Laws are amazing and I am an expert in them. So in other words, do as you say, not as you do. That's, that's what I'm taking away from this terrible anecdote. Absolutely.

Yes. All right. So since you're such a fan of the law, I love laws, then you should ace this quiz with flying colors and I start off nice and easy. I got a warm up question for you and our listeners, but maybe some of you don't know this true or false. New Jersey is the only U S state where it's illegal to pump your own gas. False.

There's at least one other state where it's illegal to pump your own gas, but I have lived many a time where in New Jersey, you can't pump your own gas, but there is at least one other maybe Oregon or something. It's somewhere, but they're not alone. Oh, I actually, no, I had that as true, but wait, that's not true. That's not true. Maybe this is, I got it from out. Did you not even look up your own laws?

How did you create a quiz with fake laws? I guess, you know what? I probably should have phrased it differently. I should have said true or false in New Jersey. It is illegal to pump your own gas. Oh, then true because I have never pumped my own gas in New Jersey. They, yeah, they have attendance that'll do it for you. Yes.

It's so awkward. You never know. Like, do I tip? Do I tip? Still don't know the answer. I feel like I don't think you're supposed to tip because like it's their job. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Sorry. I'm trying to think. I feel like my mom has like a, my mom's from New Jersey. I feel like she has a shirt or a hoodie somewhere from years ago that reads Jersey girls don't pump their own gas. Something like that.

Oh, that's funny. Cause they, well, they don't, they don't, they can't. It's illegal to. Okay. So congratulations. And we don't do things that are illegal. No, no, after what we just heard. Yes.

So congratulations. You got the warm up question. Correct. Warm up over. Here's the real quiz. Oh boy. True or false. Okay.

In Fairbanks, Alaska. Moose are not allowed on city sidewalks. We love a good moose. And I'm sure they roam free in Alaska, but there is nobody that could control moose from being on the sidewalk because what are they going to do? Arrest a moose. So I'm going to say false because who are we repercussing? Is that the word you want to use?

Reprecussing. Who, who does unto the repercussing done unto? Do. Fuller once. Fuller shame on you. Honey, you're wrong. That's real. In fact, I have a, I have a footnote.

In fact, in 1913, the mayor had enough of bartender Pete Buckholz bringing his pet moose into the saloon. And he had such a problem that he fucking made it a law. Wow. So moose are not allowed on city sidewalks in Fairbanks, Alaska. And that's a real weird law. You know what? I should have known that a state that produced Sarah Palin would have a

law like that. So yeah, come on. Come on. Think about it. Dang. I have this. How about this? True or false?

In Florida, a dog's owner isn't liable for damages or injuries caused by their pet if they have a beware of dog side visible other premises. I think that's true. You think that's true? I think that's true. Why do you think it's true? I feel like I actually, this was probably a topic that we talked about. I was a double major.

Oh my God, shut up. In risk management and insurance and business law. By the way, I don't even know how because like, I still don't understand how the law works at all. It's a lawless, almost 19 year old. Like we had to study case studies about liability, especially as it pertain to not only the law, but also insurance and coverages and stuff like that.

So at one point we had like studied, there was a homeowner that poisoned people who trespassed onto his property and were drinking like moonshine that he made or something that he kept in a shed and he knew somebody was drinking it. So he poisoned it and they died. And then he was like, well, they were trespassing. Was he found guilty of murder for doing so or whatever? I can't remember.

I think he said yes, because like he had intent to harm. Yes. I think that's exact. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's something along those lines.

Oh, anyway. Um, I was a good like problem. Yeah. I think that yes, as long as they have a sign indicating that there is a dog on the premises and that the dog is potentially dangerous to people who enter the premises. I believe that that person is then absolved of any liability regarding the dog to quote you, honey.

All right. Next question. Yes, that is correct. That's a real law. As long as you have a beware of dog sign, you ain't liable for shit. So take those beware of dog signs in Florida seriously. Mm-hmm. Here's a humdinger of one, honey, true or false.

The city of Galesburg, Illinois, bans bike riders from removing both hands from the handlebars or feet from the pedals or engaging in any acrobatic or fancy riding on any street. That's really funny. You know, I was never able to ride a bicycle without both hands. Me neither. It pissed me off. Me neither.

Everybody else could do it. Never figured that out. It's like how I was also the only kid that can ever whistle. I can't whistle. We should marry. There's a correlation here. Okay. Scientists out there, if you listen, the people that can't whistle

cannot also ride bikes without hands. Think like do the research. There's a correlation. Yeah. That's my take. And they're made for each other. Yeah. All right.

Galesburg, Illinois, is that real? Do you think you can't ride your bike with no handlebars? While I think it is very dangerous to behave in those matters. Well, verbed. I do not think that that is a real law. Okay. It is a real law. It's very real.

Do you have the history? Do you have the history of why that's a real law? I don't. I don't have a footnote for that, but in Galesburg, Illinois, I better keep your hands on those handlebars. I just also want to remind everybody how much time and effort is spent going into the creation and voting and research that goes into passing these laws, and that is what our tax money goes to.

That's correct. And I am offended that that is an actual law that people then have to learn to uphold. Yeah. How do you enforce that? Which costs money and time and all of those things. And by the way, it's your money and your time as a taxpayer. Oh, wow.

So, so glad that somebody was an idiot performing acrobatic story there on a bicycle and had a literally like my grandfather. How I would love to know how much, how much time and money was spent on passing that one law. Yeah. I'm sure there's a tragic backstory where someone died. Yeah. I actually don't want to know.

No, I don't. Ignorance is in regards to the handlebars law in Galesburg, Illinois. I'm sure ignorance is bliss. But real me this Aaron, real me this in Burnsville, Minnesota. It is illegal to operate a motor vehicle after having consumed one or more energy drinks. No, no, no, no, no, there's no way they can prove it. Is that your final answer?

And by the way, I had two Red Bulls last week on a single day. I don't advise it. No, they're not be operating any motor vehicles in Burnsville, Minnesota. If anything, it makes me more attentive. So I say no, not a real law. You're right. I made it up. Good.

Cause there's no way they can prove it. Honestly. Yeah. How they, I didn't think that's real. Right. Right. Right. Ma'am, have you been drinking two Red Bulls today?

No, not at all. No, no, what are you talking about? No, fuck you. No. Ow, my kidneys. If they respond like that, maybe. Yeah. Or ow, my kidneys.

Yeah. Fun fact, I can no longer drink Red Bulls. They send me to the ER. You can't drink any energy drinks. Yeah, I can't. Yeah. It's really weird. I used to drink them like candy back in my, you know, early, early twenties.

And then all of a sudden I just like got some weird aversion to them and twice. One time I had to go to the hospital in a fucking ambulance. That was terrifying. I'd say embarrassing. Oh, it was hella embarrassing. Mostly embarrassing. Cause I drank a fucking Red Bull and all of a sudden I'm in an amp. Yeah.

That sucked. I actually think it was a, it wasn't a monster. What was it? Um, yeah. It Rockstar Rockstar. It was a Rockstar. Yes. I drink them all.

I drink monsters. They had a really good, they probably still do have a really good coffee one that I fucking adored. And then, uh, yeah, the Rockstars and the Red Bulls. Oh, I had it all. Nause, Nause energies. Yeah. Anyways, enough about that.

Correct. Yeah. That is, I made that one up. But did I make this one up in Hawaii? It is illegal to erect, maintain, or use a billboard or display any outdoor advertising device. I believe that. You believe that?

For the same reason that I hate Hawaii, I, well, you don't hate Hawaii. You hate Maui. I hate Maui. I don't hate Hawaii. Where's the distinction? I hate Maui. We had a lot of fun in Honolulu. Yeah.

We had a ton of fun. Backstreet Boys. I feel like I have seen enough TikToks about people who live on Hawaii that are really, really interested in preserving as much Hawaii as possible, especially in light of the tourism that it brings. And billboards and large, significant advertisements would really degrade the authenticity of the land. And I don't know if you've ever seen the Descendants Jack film starring George Clooney.

That's a movie I keep falling asleep to. Yeah, it is actually. But they are really into their land and the preservation of authenticity and basically what it means to be Hawaiian. And thus, I think billboards and big ass advertisements are not aligned with the core values of being Hawaiian. Thus, I think that's a real law. That's one of those, like, your answer was one of those, like, this must be a five page

essay and you had half a page of material. You are correct. But good Lord, what a journey Jesus. All right. God bless your soul. Right. Right. Exactly.

I just rewatched that clip the other day. You did? It holds up. Oh, it's so good. You should watch that movie. By the way, what we're referring to is the Billy Madison. What would you call like Jeopardy? Like, yeah, at the end of the movie where Billy goes on and on with an answer, some nonsensical

answer. And he's like, and the host, the host has to like, you know, judge the answer. I award you no points and God have mercy on your soul. It's like a no point in your senseless rambling. Did you come close to making a point? It's just, it's really funny. Oh, so good. All right.

You were correct about Hawaii. What about this? In Wichita, Kansas. Wichita. Yeah. So I said in Wichita, Kansas. No, you said Wichita. In Wichita, Kansas.

You can be fined upwards of $300 for wearing excessive makeup. Oh boy. I am offended by this. Even, even the, even the prospect that it may exist. The fact that we're thinking about the fact that it may exist upsets me. I'm sure it does. I'm allowed to wear as much makeup or as little makeup as I want. Not in Wichita, Kansas.

If this is true. What do you think? Can you be fined upwards of $300 for wearing excessive makeup in Wichita, Kansas? No, I do not think that's a real law. Correct. I made it up. Oh, thank God. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. But you doubted yourself. That worried me. That worried me. All right. How about this one? In Nebraska, it is illegal for a bartender to mix other alcohol with beer. The whole state of Nebraska, not, not a town, not a city in all of Nebraska.

It is illegal for a bartender to mix other alcohol with beer. So no boiler makers, no, uh, you know, I see bees. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Can't do those. Or like sake bombs. Right. Can't do a sake bombs, no bombs of any kind.

Is that real or did I make it up? You know what? I'm going to say it's real. Only because if it is fake. Yeah. It's a good fake law. Yeah. Good for you, Jack film.

It is a good fake law. It's real. It's real? It's real. No way. In Nebraska, in the entire state of Nebraska. And we, we love our Aries Nebraskans, you know? Don't we?

We do. Mm-hmm. You had, you kind of, you know, you said they were as boring as Nebraskans. I know. Oh. Or you said they were as exciting as Nebraskans, which was, which was sarcastic. You, you made me say that. I didn't make you say anything.

Yeah. You made me say that. Nobody can make you do anything. Can we get a shout out to Nebraska Aries's? All right. Erin, listen up. And listeners, you too. This is, this is real.

By the way, if you are from Nebraska. Jesus. Can somebody please order like some bomb of some sort at their local bar, a bomb drink. A bomb drink. You can't just say, can someone order a bomb? Order a bomb drink. Like a bar. And see if they will do it because like, yeah, you should wait.

Do bartenders actually uphold this law? Or is this from like, 1777 and whatever. Like one of those like old, like somehow never been ratified or yeah. Never been. Can somebody tell me, is this real in Nebraska? That's actually, yeah. Please call in in our hotline at dad hug me 10. I would love to hear that.

Is this a, is this a law they uphold? Yeah. Or do they not give a shit? They're like, no, like, you don't even need to call in Texan. Just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dad hug me 10. It's textable. So do that too.

It sure is. How about this in Rockville, Maryland? I know that it is a misdemeanor to profanely curse and swear or use obscene language upon or near any street sidewalk or highway. Rockville, Maryland is a suburban town outside of Washington, D.C. in Southern Maryland. Very good. Yeah.

I've very good. Well, no, I don't mean that kind of saying anything because like I literally didn't know like, like. You didn't know that? Well, you said Southern Maryland. I wouldn't have been able to specify. But where do you think that D.C. is somewhere somewhere in like Maryland? Look, I can't like, I went there for four years, but it doesn't mean I know

geographically where it exists and like vicinity to Maryland. Not like a time wizard. Um, I'm going to say that this is a misdemeanor to profanely curse and swear or use obscene language upon or near any street sidewalk or highway. I'm going to say it is real, but it's the dumbest law I think I've ever heard. It's something that Ted Cruz would pass. It is. If he were from Maryland or if Maryland, you know, even allowed him to have

a say in what they do. I'd like to think they wouldn't. Okay. But yeah, no, that shit's dumb, but I think it's real. And you would be correct. Wow. It's a real law. I can promise you that is not a law that they uphold.

How can you? How can you? Who's like, who's policing the streets of Rockville, Maryland, waiting for someone to say the fuck word? Like, oh, you said the fuck word. You have to say the F word. Oh no. And I guess technically I looked it up.

Rockville is, it's funny. I think of it coming from Philadelphia as Southern Maryland because it's close to DC, but I, maybe you could technically not say it's Southern Maryland. Maryland has a weird shape. Okay. It is. It is a weird shape. What we know is that the next town over is Washington DC and the next town

over that is Virginia. Okay. Maryland is the most gun-shaped state of the 50. Wow. Where's your head at, Jack? Apparently in Virginia. My guns. Nobody's going to take my guns from me.

I bet they believe that in Maryland too. I bet there are plenty of places in Maryland. Oh, sure, sure, sure. All right. How about this? Where's the Mason Dixon line? I think it's, oh shit. Is it like just south of Maryland?

I don't know. I can't. Every north of, any, in Salem, Oregon, in Salem, Oregon, never heard of it. It is a misdemeanor to be caught eating any quote unquote breakfast foods, i.e. eggs, pancakes, et cetera, after two PM and offenders may be fined up to $250. No, that is incorrect because every single household in America has enjoyed a breakfast for dinner moment. Okay.

Speak for yourself. You're correct, but speak for yourself. I did make that up. We love breakfast for dinner. It's the best dinner there is. Dude, if I had eggs three times a day, I'd be so much happier. Just in general, pancakes three times a day, I'd be so much happier. In Cambridge, Massachusetts, never heard of it.

Each pint of Guinness served in a bar must have at least a three-quarters inch head. Cambridge, Massachusetts, each pint of Guinness served in a bar must have at least a three-quarters of an inch head. These lawmakers sure love their alcohol, man. There is an inordinate, inordinate amount of time, inordinate, inordinate amount of time spent thinking about alcohol and how it should or should not be served and what it should or should not be served with.

I'm going to say, no, that's incorrect. It's not an actual law. Is that your final answer? That's my final answer. Well, actually, you are correct. It is something I made up. Cambridge, Massachusetts, pretty, isn't that where like Harvard is? Isn't that?

Oh, I don't think so. Yeah, I feel like, yeah. Isn't Harvard and like MIT there? I think. I wouldn't bet my life on it. Don't you guys have better things to focus on than beer and like, what, what the ratio of the head and the Guinness is? Like, leave it to the Irishman.

I was thinking when I wrote that, like, you know, Matt, like, you know, New England, they would really like their pints again is so I figured like, oh, you know what? I'll bet I could stump Aaron. And of course I couldn't. Next one, true or false factor crap to quote Stephanie from Florida in Lumberton, North Carolina, all back, never heard of it. All excuse me.

All backyard pools must include a diving board regardless of pool death. No, no, I, no, I don't think that's real. If anything, I think that it said no diving boards allowed because I feel like there is a law somewhere, somehow, some some way, some then that diving boards were not allowed in swimming pools. Residentially speaking. Sure, sure, sure. They are very dangerous.

I don't know if you've seen Molly Carlson on tiktok, but yes, but she will not that she's ever gotten it. No, not that she's ever gotten an accident, but that shit is dangerous. Diving boards are terrifying. I almost think she. Oh, she's fine. Did you have a point there? To be fair, diving boards are terrifying.

They can totally cause major injury if you don't know what you're doing. Also, think about how bouncy, like regular, like, so she's a high diver person, lady thing, right? So like, but I don't know if that's like. No, that's what they call a person diver lady thing. Oh, so, um, but like the regular, like, boing, boing, boing, boing, like, right. Have you ever bounced off of a diving board? I never have.

Not like more than once. Yeah. You know, I've never, I've never like, no, no, no, no, no, right. But people do it. High divers, they like jump on it and then they jump on it and then they jump on it and then they do the like twist flip thing. I'm always scared. It was just like snapping.

I'm just like, what material are diving boards even made of? It's just unpredictable material that like we're relying on to bounce us into the air. I just too many accidents occur. I'm going to say nay. If anything, diving boards are not allowed. Final answer. I'll know about that, but you are correct.

I made up the Lumberton, North Carolina. But here's the thing, uh, there is, uh, when I, in my youth in the Chesapeake Bay area of Maryland, one of our extended family members had a house with a pool with a diving board and we would all take turns on the diving board. How many cousins did you lose that summer? That was a rough one. Summer of odd six.

Hey, that was a sensitive summer. Oh, that's funny. I wasn't even like trying, but like, yeah, that was your, that was your summer. Alrighty. You got in some of these right, but let's see if you get this one right in South Carolina. It is illegal for a minor to play a pinball machine. Oh God.

That's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's probably true. Where's Lindsey Graham from again? Is he from one of them? I couldn't tell you one of the Carolinas. I couldn't tell you. I proudly couldn't tell you.

I know, right? Yeah. South Carolina illegal for a minor under the age of 18 to play a pinball machine. I'm going to say it's true only because it's so stupid that very stupid, right? It's so stupid. It sounds like something they would think about.

Why Aaron? You are correct. Oh my God. It's true. Can't play no dadgerm confudget pinball machines. Why? Why? If you are not 18 and above.

Why? They are the devil's contraptions. People are going to hate us. All of our Southern listeners hate us right now. I'm having a blast. Oh my gosh. How about this? Factor cap.

Yeah. What? Factor crap. Factor cap. Factor cap. Yeah. In Athens. You're like that doctor I follow on tiktok that actually pulls out a blue

hat. It's adorable. Alrighty. Factor cap, I guess. And I hate saying that, by the way. It's such a zoomer shit. It's so lame. But factor cap in Athens, Georgia, in Athens, Georgia.

It is illegal for a man to sport a man bun. Now, now see here there then yet. Uh-huh. Athens, I think, is the town in which I think maybe potentially the University of Georgia is based. No one asked, but okay. Well, what I'm saying is the University of Georgia is bound to have at the very least college kids that fancy themselves a man bun.

You think? And so I'm going to say that no, that is not a law. Damn it. Did I pick the wrong city? Cause you are correct. They made it up. Should have picked a should have picked something else like, you know, Rock Ridge, Georgia or something.

Alrighty. Wait, where did you, where did you come up with Athens? Oh, I literally Googled like state cities. Like I would just Google like cities in Georgia and then just pick like, you know, one that sounded good. So I messed up. Okay. Hold on.

Let me look that up. Yeah. Yeah. It's an Athens. Look at that. Look at that. Fun fact. Fun fact.

Temple University where I attended my alma mater. We had one of the nation's leading risk management and insurance undergraduate programs and we prided ourselves on being hella excellent insurance nerds. But we were in major competition with the University of Georgia who had a also very strong risk management and insurance program at their undergraduate and okay college. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Oh honey. Did you know this? Did I know what? Do you know this? The state of Texas requires that's right honey. The state of Texas requires that office holders must believe in a higher power. Fact your cat.

I believe that. I believe you believe that. I believe that the lawmakers of Texas would believe that their office holders would need to believe in a higher power. I do believe that. However, however, the only thing that makes me think that that's not true is that it said you said higher power and not God. And I feel like Texas would be like you got to believe in God.

And obviously everybody could lie about that. Like you could lie. Yeah, I believe in God. Like it's not anything you could ever prove or disprove, right? So, um, yeah, I'm going to say that that's real. It is real. In fact, I have a footnote. It reads quote, no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to

any office because they don't exist or public trust in the state semi colon nor shall anyone be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments provided he acknowledged the existence of a supreme being love that they say he of course. Yeah, Texas, but like, yeah, so long as you acknowledge there's a supreme being out there floating around, calling the shots, then you can run for office or hold office in the state of Texas. Isn't that insane?

That is insane. That is you must acknowledge there is a being above you. Wait, that is literally. Wait, I don't know what church and state. Yeah, except that there is supposed to be a separation and I feel like maybe that is in direct violation. Yes, of that. Absolutely.

Potentially my God, you got to believe in that flying spaghetti monster. If you want to, you want to, why is this quiz making me just want to like literally go live off the grid? Like I just like, oh, okay. Fuck you all wrote me this. It is illegal to transport alcohol purchased in other states across the border into Pennsylvania. Okay.

So I actually think as a Pennsylvanian, yes, I think that that is correct. And the reason why is because Pennsylvania as we've discussed in past episodes has very specific liquor and alcohol beverage sales laws. And so I know a lot of people who have gone down to total wine down in Delaware to buy a shit ton of alcohol because it's cheaper or whatever the fuck. Oh, and Delaware doesn't have sales tax. That's right.

It doesn't. So there's also that. So and then they, they stock up on all their alcohol and then they shimmy back up the 20 minutes up to Pennsylvania and Philadelphia because by the way, guys, Delaware is 20 minutes outside of Pennsylvania. And so is the total wine. But I think technically that's illegal. So that is a correct.

That's correct. You are correct. It's illegal to transport alcohol purchased in other states across the border into Pennsylvania, which I didn't know before this quiz. And I was curious if I figured, yeah, you probably know this, but I didn't. I thought, huh, we owed in Montgomery, Alabama, all hamburgers must be 800 calories or higher to legally be considered a hamburger. No, I don't think that that's true.

Really? And the reason I say that is because I hope that there are enough small businesses out there that don't have the, I don't know. I'm assuming it takes a resource and like cost to figure out what calories are. I also, yeah, I also don't think it's probably legal in every state to disclose the number of calories per food item. Like we do it here in California, but I'm not sure that that's like a thing nationwide.

Okay. I'm going to go ahead and say no, that no, because it costs, it probably costs money to figure that out. And I just, I think you're hurting the small business owners by doing that. Erin, are you telling me that this law is cap? This is a cap. It is cap made it up. That would be funny.

Also, why is that funny? I don't know. It's funny. Jack's films and your orthorexia is coming through right now. No, it's not. No, no, I just thought like legal, like, because I read, I, spoiler, I did, I came across this fake fact and I didn't put it in, but in some place and I want to say New England, pickles have to be able to bounce to be considered

a legal pickle or legally be a pickle or something like that. And I, I was very curious about the whole like what you can legally consider as certain types of food. So I figured like, oh, let's do the hamburger route. I think that's probably what inspired it. But how about this, Erin? In Indiana, it is illegal to ride a horse above 10 miles per hour. I've never been to Indiana.

Oh man. I haven't. I couldn't tell you a thing about it. I've been to quite a few states. I've never been to Indiana. Well, do you think it's illegal to ride a horse there above 10 miles an hour? I do not.

I don't, I don't think that that's a law. It is a law actually. And you would be, you would be fined and hopefully locked away in a baseball stadium jail. But then the cop would feel bad for me and he would write down the citation number incorrectly on purpose and the judge would be like, well, I can't do nothing here. What Indiana?

Wait, aren't all judges very southern? No. Is that, is that not true? Damn. All right. I got one more for you. What do you think? One more?

I got one more for you. Let's make it a good one. Final question in St. Joseph, Missouri, all jails must have a copy of the Shawshank Redemption on DVD or Blu-ray in their rec centers. For those who have not seen the Shawshank Redemption, it is a movie about who are in for a treat. A man who is wrongfully accused and prosecuted and found guilty of a crime

that he did not commit. Allegedly. No, no, I trust the narrator. I trust that he was an unreliable narrator. I do not believe that he committed that crime. And then he was placed in jail and then, um, spoiler alert, listen, like seriously, turn down the volume. If you want to see this movie, turn it down right now.

He escapes from jail. So you can turn the volume back up now. So anyway, I do not think that this movie would have any place in any jail anywhere. Thus, no, I do not believe that this really is a real law. You don't think this is real? No.

I should have ended on a different one. You're correct. Obviously. I was just one of my like maniacal like, yeah, let's fucking do this. Let's put that in. At no point. Did that make any sense? Shut up.

Don't you Billy Madison me? Do you know what time it is? What time is it, Erin? Well, on a normal week, it would be horoscope time. Oh, but I have to tell you about a premonition that I had. Do tell. I've been having dreams. Yeah, cringe, crazy, vivid dreams.

And unfortunately, I have to put myself first year. Oh, they said, what did they say? That if I deliver the horoscope for Aries's this week, that the Aries's were probably going to kill me because of how unhappy they would be with the horoscope that I would deliver to them. That doesn't sound good. No, it doesn't. And so this week, I'm just going to tell you what I've learned about Aries.

This is right. Thank you from people who've told me about Aries's and in summation. I had somebody text in and tell me that Aries season is much more exciting than Nebraska prove it. I had another person text in and say that Jack mentioned in the first one word impressions episode that Aries was like Aries, A-R-I-E-S and A-R-E-S. And you said they weren't the same thing. You are right.

However, the sign Aries is ruled by the planet Mars, whose Greek equivalent is Aries, A-R-E-S. I always think it's funny when people say that because they're wrong, but also like almost half right. Right, right. Fake it to the image. Anyway, by the way, these are the texts that I get guys. So somebody also texted and said, hello, random Aries here.

The only common denominator between all Aries is that we all have depression. All of us also hope you can get Eric on the podcast sometime. I can't even tell you how many texts I got. Like, when are you going to get Eric on the podcast? Oh, really? Can Eric be on the podcast? Do you think you'll ever have Eric as a guest on the podcast?

And I was like, and then somebody also texted in there like, you call it Eric is the funny one. And I was like, listen, I'm happy to bestow that upon him. However, I'm going to try not to take that personally. Okay. Yeah. Easier said than done. So you're saying that we should hold off until next week.

Hold on a second. And then somebody else said, Hey, Aaron, just listen to the podcast and some insight on Aries. I live with two, my dad and sister. Aries are loud, stubborn, rude and unapologetic. Oh my. I like to think that it was destined since birth that I would not get along with my sister since I am a Scorpio and she is an Aries.

There you go. So in summation, I do not want to step on any Aries toes the wrong way. I appreciate that. And, and I think you're making the right call, honey. I do not want to be killed by Aries. And so next week, fortunately, we will have two Aries horoscopes for the Aries in hopes that my premonition will say that, you know, they're not going to kill you this week, but you could deliver the message next week.

And it's the same message, but they won't kill you, but they are loud, stubborn, unapologetic and murderous. I just added that in. I, but I believe it. But so they're not nearly as boring as Nebraska, apparently. No, but just so much worse. They're like Rockville, Maryland. There it is.

That's right. You're not allowed to curse on the sidewalk. Right. But also they will murder you. I think that. Yeah. If you do, that's the fine. Yeah.

And the punishment fits the fine. What? I don't know. What? Any hoosers? Thank you all so much for hanging out this week. We'll see you again next week. It was a blast.

I had fun. Jack, film, are you still in a bad mood? I'm a little less cranky. I must admit. Oh, wait, hold on before we go. But thank you guys so much for hanging out this week. This has been a blast. We've had so much fun and can't wait to see you next week for two very

special Aries horoscopes. And so sorry we couldn't give it to you this week. But it's, you know, we'll make up for it. Well, no, it's not that we're going to make up for it. No, but the gods were telling us something bad would happen if we did. So you'll get to next week till next time, maters.