Erin is the Funny One - The Slogan Quiz

Episode Date: December 13, 2021

Jack and Erin kick off episode 25 of Erin Is the Funny One by diving into a tannin-y, cherry cola-y, rose petal-y Grenache. Then, Erin presents Jack with the ultimate Holiday quiz…name the corporate slogan! Will Jack come out on top? Listen to find out! Finally, do your hear the horoscope bells ringing? Get ready, Sagittarius - this one’s for you! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome listeners to the 25th episode of Aaron is the funny funny. I'm one of your co-hosts, Jack Douglas. And I'm Aaron, I'm the funny funny. And you guys may not know this, but this is our first time back in the studio after well over a month. We stockpiled the last like what six, seven episodes? Something like that. Well over a month ago,

but now we're back and it feels so weird. It feels really weird. It's like riding a bike. But we almost like we never knew how to ride the bike in the first place. Yeah, a lot of scraped knees, a lot of tears. Jack, are you happy to be back? I am, you know, it's nice to be back. It's kind of funny breaking the fourth wall

because people didn't know that you were gone. I mean, they knew it, but they didn't know it. Not really, no, but. It's going to take some getting used to. I'm very out of practice, hon. I'm out of my element. You know what might help me, though? This week's Wine of the Week.

Wee! Wine of the Week. Tell me more about this Wine of the Week Jack film. Well, I don't want to tell you too much because I kind of want to put a fun little twist and a spin on this Wine of the Week segment. Oh, no. Normally, we each take a swig of the Wine of the Week. We share our thoughts.

We give it a little rating. I want to mix it up this week. I have with me a card that goes with this wine that includes notes. No, no, it includes notes. It includes notes, Erin. Like, like, do you like me circle yes or no notes? Like, what kind of notes are you talking about? Tasting notes, jerkass.

Tasting notes. Oh, what a troll. We're going to mix it up. This is a red wine. So wait, so what do you want me to like? Like, what's the twist, I guess? You never explained what exactly was the point of the notes. Oh, yeah, you're going to take a sip of this wine. We're both going to take a sip of this wine,

but you, Erin, you have to tell me what notes you taste. I literally just ate a whole bunch of onions. The all I taste right now are onions. Don't care. OK. So this is before we begin. This is a red wine. It's called Acopio. Also, one, notes are made up. They're totally made up.

It's subjective. No, you're going, yes, here you go. Number two, I just ate a whole bunch of onions. So whatever I do taste is going to be skewed. It may all taste like garlic and onions. But if Jack's Films is trying to, like, turn this back on me to be like, oh, I'm not the only one that's taste blind. She's taste blind, too.

Once again, then your words, not mine. You know what? I guess so be it. OK, but the game was rigged from the get go. Speaking of game, let us play the game. Jack, why don't you tell us what type of wine it is? I've been trying to, Lord. This is a red wine called Acopio, ACO PIO. It's a Garnacha coming at you.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you mean Garnache? Is that what you're trying to say right now? No, it's Garnacha. Where does it say? Oh, it is. Oh, OK.

It does say Garnache. Garnacha, Garnacha. I don't know. No, I was right. I thought you were trying to say Garnache. I mean, probably. OK, let me tell you what I taste. Comes from Spain.

Actually, quite like this wine. It's very fruity, but not too fruity. It is on the drier side. Wrong. No, JK. Rose petals. Oh, yeah? You know what those taste like?

You freak? I know what they smell like. I feel like freak. Maybe a little bit of pepper. OK. And the center of a rare steak. OK. So animal blood.

Anything else or shall I reveal the answer? No, that's it, yeah. All right. Here's what the card I'm holding has to say. Yeah. Exceptionally light in body. This Garnache has all the classic flavors of cherry, raspberry, vanilla, and warm, brown baking

spices reminiscent of a cherry cola, velvety tannins. No, I will agree with the velvety tannins. That is what I think I felt with the rose petal. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's a very smooth wine. Delightful, even. Jackville, great choice this week.

I know that you hand selected this from a bright seller's box, so. Yes. Oh, spoilers. This did indeed come from bright sellers, not a sponsor of the podcast. I stand by my answers, by the way. Should we see if it comes up on the Vivino app?

Just by, like, for shits and giggles? We should. I wouldn't say it's reminiscent of a cherry cola. Not even close. Because if it were, it would be all I drank. But you know what? I'm not offended by the spread, if anything. Oh, this is on the Vivino app.

It has 26 ratings. Oh, my. 3.9 stars out of five. And it doesn't have a price point, because probably everybody got it from their bright sellers box. Yeah, let's be true. Let's be real.

So that's wine of the week. And we'll be enjoying that throughout. But, honey. Yes. This is our 25th episode. Our 25th episode, and what happens to fall on the 25th day of this month, Jackville? Oh, sorry.

Your wording was so low. No, your wording was terrible. What happens this fall on the 25th? If you forgot his birthday. Yeah, but you said, like, this fall on the, like, why'd you bring fall into it? I said, what falls on the 25th day of this month? No, you messed up.

No, you messed up, Bigley. Why, it's crimbous, honey. It's crimbous. The only holiday I celebrate. That's right, Jackville. And what do we celebrate on Christmas besides Mr. Jesus' birthday? We celebrate the big fat man with the sack full of toys.

And what else do we celebrate? Where do the toys come from? Well, they come from the Elves in the North Pole, no? And where else? Rich parents. And where do the rich parents get the toys? From sweatshops in third-world countries. And what better way to celebrate the month of Christmas

than to give you a quiz all about commercial entities and their brand slogans? Ew, what? What? I didn't sign up for any of that shit. That sounds miserable. Oh, yes, Jackville. I'm going to be giving you some slogans

that companies have used over the years and you're going to try to guess the company. That was the most roundabout, bad shit insane segue I've ever heard. No, it's how we celebrate Christmas. It's a special, it's a very special Christmas episode. God fuck. Guys, also tune in next week for a very, very special Christmas

episode. You do not. First off, you don't want to miss this week's, obviously. Keep listening. Obviously. We need to know what these company slogans were over the years. But definitely don't miss next week's. It's a real banger.

One could say it's quite girlboss. And very Christmas. Good day. Commercial break. That'd be a really good place for a commercial break. It would be. OK, Jack film, are you ready to be quizzed on whether or not you can guess what the slogan of the company is?

I'm going to give you the slogan of a number of companies that were used over the years. I will give you a hint. Some of these slogans date back to literally the early 1900s. Oh my. Yes. Going back in time. We're going back in time.

And as you know, many, many companies change slogans after a year, two years, five years. So some of these companies who've been around for a very long time have had many a slogan. So yes. Let me get this straight. Yes. You're telling me this quiz isn't multiple choice.

No. Let's go. Are you ready? Yes. OK. No. Number one. What company's slogan for a period of time

was cheat on your girlfriend, not on your workout? Oh, wow. By the way, great slogan, great mantra, great message. I don't think it lasted very long. I wonder why. Cowards. I can't imagine why. Hey, cowards, stick to your guns.

Oh, wait until you find out. OK, so some of these weren't slogans, but they were ad campaigns. And wait until you hear some of the other ones. I just can't. I just can't. Oh, I'm very excited for this. OK, so this is I want to make sure I'm getting the wording right.

This is cheat on your girlfriend. Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your workout. OK. Because how dare they say wife? This right. So this has to be it has to be something targeted towards males. At first I was thinking like, oh, maybe Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers or or or Jane Fonda stuff.

But no, no, no, this has to be targeted towards the fellas, the dudes. That's what I said, right? Well, if you're going to assume that it's somebody straight. Sure, I am assuming something hetero because that slogan already sounds super outdated. Absolutely. To the point where can I give you a target towards a hetero audience? Wait, can I can I give you a hint?

Please. What year do you think that was from? So I'm thinking it's older. Like, well, how much older 80s or 90s? It could be like edgy 90s. 90s is all about extreme marketing. You know, like Sega does what Nintendo don't, etc. Oh, nice. Right. Well, isn't that great?

You should be hired by somebody. Should. Yeah. But I'm not. Nobody would hire you. Wow. So this is 80s or 90s. It's from 2012. No. Shit. I know.

Yikes. It sounds familiar to the cringe. Cheat on your girlfriend, not your work out on your workout, not on your workout. Not on your workout. All right. So what are some? Oh, my God. What if it's like fucking P 90 or something? Do you want me to make it multiple choice? Well, it's probably too late for that. I mean, I can make it. I can just like make it up.

Can you make this one multiple choice? I'll probably get it, but make it multiple choice regardless. Meanwhile, I'll keep sipping this lovely cherry cola wine. Wow. Tastes like I'm at the movies. OK, here are your choices. Yeah. LA fitness. Oh. Equinox. Uh huh. Under armor. Huh.

Reebok. Fuck. 2012. I'm torn between Reebok and Equinox. Equinox has some pretty edgy marketing. Do they? Yeah. I've noticed like. What else have they been edgy about? I mean, they're always like, it's a lifestyle. Not I don't know.

That's a poor example, but Equinox is not a bad guess. However, Reebok, I can imagine Reebok. Oh, man. LA fitness. I don't think so. I don't think they're balls enough. They don't have the balls to say that. And then what was the other one? LA fitness. Equinox.

Under armor. Under armor. What under armor dare? Those Maryland boys. I think under armor was like two dudes in Maryland. Fuck it. Let's say Reebok. Final answer. Lock it in, Reej. I think it's Reebok. You are correct.

Holy shit. It is Reebok. Reebok, shame on you. I'm actually kind of mad that you knew that. Like that they had edgy marketing. Well. Cause you've never worked out a day in your life. It's kind of bullshit. You don't even own anything Reebok.

I sure don't. And you know why? It's because of that disgusting marketing campaign from 2012. That's exactly why. I burned all of my Reebok sneakers in a big bonfire the day that marketing slogan came out. All right. So I'm one for blank, sort of. Number two.

Okay. I'm making it multiple choice as we go since you're a baby. Well, don't give me the choices yet. I mean, like, give me the choices only when I ask for them. Okay. Okay. I'm going to know at least one of these. Here's the slogan.

Let's go. It's not for women. Hey, whatever they're selling, I'm buying. Let's go. Wow. That's amazing. I don't need to hear the choices. It's the Game Boy, Nintendo Game Boy.

Not for women. Oh my God. Well, thank you for that laugh. Can I hear the actual campaign, the actual marketing campaign? It's not for women. Pickle jars. Let's hear the choices because I'm clearly not going to get it just for that.

Doseckies. If you made that up, that's genius because of the two Xs, but keep going. Gillette Mach 3. Not for women. Too many mocks. Dr. Pepper 10. Or Mountain Dew Code Red.

Sorry, I just had the vision of a neckbeard gamer crushing a can of Dr. Pepper Red or Mountain Dew Red. Mountain Dew Code Red. Mountain Dew Code Red. Checking that fedora on, turning the camera saying, sorry, ladies, it's not for women. Here's the deal. Doseckies would be brilliant because the two Xs,

and what a twist. Sorry, it's actually for the Xs out there, ladies, not the XXs. And if you came up with that, fuck you. Also, I kind of want to say it was the third choice, and what was that? Dr. Pepper 10. Yeah, I vaguely remember something with that doctor.

This is a good quiz, by the way. Thank you. Now there were two questions, Steve. I can actually say like. Merry Christmas. This is fun. That's a fun quiz. It's not for women.

Not when I'm pawning nubes via my LAN connection. A grill? All right, I'm very torn. It could be Dr. Pepper 10. I think it's Dr. Pepper only because this is triggering some deep-seated memory of mine from a magazine or an online ad, maybe even a store, maybe even an IRL grocery store where I saw this.

And it was super aggressive. It was like a diet drink, and it was like trying to, because for some reason, diet products are normally targeted towards women. It's like they're classified as like a feminine product. You know, diet this, diet that. And so Dr. Pepper was trying to fight it saying like,

hey, dudes can be weight conscious too. Hey, it's only for the dudes. Sorry, ladies, this one's not for you. I think it's Dr. Pepper 10, final answer. I think you spend too much time on the internet personally. Let's go. Are you ready for number three? Yes, I am.

And just so everyone knows, Aaron just took a nice long break to make sure the rest of all these questions are multiple choice. Well, just because you're that bad at this game. It's impossible. How the fuck was I supposed to get a Dr. Pepper 10? It's not my fault that you suck.

I've given you multiple choice quizzes. You could return the courtesy. All right, number three. Number three. Often a bridesmaid, never a bride. This is actually allegedly where the saying came from. Really? Yes.

Oh, fun. All right, often the bridesmaid, never the bride. That's so cruel. It really is cruel when you think about it. Yeah. You ready? Yeah, I'm not even gonna guess. Victoria's secret. Okay.

Double mint gum. Wow, can you imagine? Spanx, Listerine. Huh, I feel like, isn't Spanx a more recent development? I don't know, Jack, is it? I think so. I don't think Spanx. You don't think people had girdles?

I don't think people had, no. That phrase has been around for a long fucking time. I think that phrase preceded Spanx. Okay. No, Listerine. I've often, no. You've often been a bridesmaid, but never a bride? I'm gonna say the opposite, but no.

Listerine could be one. Or the other choices? Double mint gum. Yeah. And Victoria's secret. I don't think it's Victoria's secret. Like, if you had a guess, how far back do you think that this saying came?

This is like, I'm seeing this in like, almost a Guinness era of advertisement. Like that long ago. What is Guinness? Oh, Guinness. You go on most like Irish pubs, I guess really in Dublin, you go to pubs. Okay, stop bragging.

They have these posters of old Guinness beer advertisements. And they're like little cartoon, almost, you know what, they're often, they look like stills from the more recent Red Bull gives you wings animations you've seen on your television. Yeah. Right? Imagine that, but like in still form,

often with a pelican, but the phrase was often, my goodness, my Guinness. It was like a pelican running off with a can of Guinness or a bottle of Guinness. It was just something like that. My goodness, my Guinness. And I'm thinking that era of like almost like two women looking over at a third one aloof.

And the third one looks, I don't know, disheveled and I don't know, frumpy or unattractive in some way. And the other two women are whispering to each other, always the bridesmaid, never the bride. If only she had listerine. You know, like I can visualize that cartoon. Why do you think listerine has been around for that long? Well, I think it's been around longer than Victoria's Secret.

You don't know when Victoria's Secret was made. But I'm going to wager a bet. When do you think Victoria's Secret was made? Like created, founded? Eighties. No, that's not right. Seventies, sixties. And when do you think listerine was founded?

Oh, since the aughts. Was it like the original Clorox bleach? It was like, you know how like they always say like, oh yeah, that was originally supposed to be a floor cleaner. Like then some brave caveman put it in his fucking mouth. What was the other? What gum was it? Spearmint?

Doublemint? Doublemint. Doublemint's been around even longer. Doublemint? I'm going to say Doublemint. I'm going to say Doublemint gum. Yeah, you know, it has to be because why would you choose to? It's got to be either listerine or gum.

Why the fuck would you choose to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm enlarging the the flaws in your in your quiz here, Aaron. It's either listerine or Doublemint. I'm going to say Doublemint. Finally, answer. Let's go because it's old. Player one. No, don't scream.

Game, you know, you did, bitch. You're dead. The answer was listerine. Damn it. And wow, that ad campaign was from 1925. OK, it's old. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, it's like a hundred years old.

Think about that. Only that bitch had been gurgling or listerine. OK, OK, you ready? You ready? Let's go. Number four takes a licking and keeps on ticking. I've I know this. I should know this takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Fuck, what's that from? I want to get it before the answers, but I don't know if I can't. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Damn it. I'm going to need the the answers. I've heard this one before and I'm going to know it immediately. American Heart Association.

No. Tootsie Roll. Time X. Shit. American Red Cross. I do not know it. The middle two. Very, very clever. You've obviously have had to have made up at least one of those. And that's very clever.

Time X keeps a licking, keeps on ticking. And then Tootsie, you do indeed have to lick it. Either way, you're a genius and I hate to say that. I hate to say that so much. But also, let's me not forget about the American Heart Association. No. And the American Red Cross. No, I don't think so.

I don't think it's either of those. But hearts tick, Jack. Have you not seen the Wizard of Oz? I don't think it's that. The cowardly lion needs a heart and the guy gives him fucking clock. Dude. Instead. It's a heart shaped clock.

But it is. But a clock. It is. For his ticker. For his ticker. You should have given him Listerine though. Yeah. Hmm.

Okay. So all logic and reasoning tells me to go for either Red Cross or Heart Association. Uh-huh. But my gut is pointing me towards Time X. Okay. I think I'm going to say Time X. Okay.

Let's go. Question five. Yes. Even though you're already dead or whatever, we buried you in the Pet Cemetery and now you're back. Yeah, I'm back because of the Pet Cemetery. That was your fucking fault putting me in there. You know what happens.

Number five. I do know what happens. You came back and you're evil. Yeah, they keep on ticking. Yeah, there you go. They took a lick in. They keep on ticking. They lick and tick.

Damn it. All right. I can't believe I ate the whole thing. You know this? Yeah. It's some heartburn medicine. Oh, that's annoying. Well, because if it's an old commercial,

it's like this husband, this old husband. We're going to move it. Shut up, Jack. Get off of YouTube. Stop watching old commercials. You weren't even alive at that time. Guys, YouTube it. We're moving right into question six.

YouTube, I can't believe I ate the whole thing right now. The slogan is join in. At least tell me what. It's Alka-Seltzen. Thank you. That's all. All right. Okay.

Join in. Join in. Sounds like an army shit. Some army shit. Spotify. Okay. MySpace. Ooh.

Verizon. No. Shit. Hey, babe. Good choices. Good question. Good quiz. Join in is what a dangerous, scary cult would say.

I think it's also what you would hear from MySpace. It could be Spotify too. It's not Verizon. It could be, but it's not. So is it Spotify or is it MySpace? Let's say MySpace. Why is it not the Church of Scientology? Because that's not their saying, honey.

What's their saying? Go clear. It's go clear, go home. Clear eyes. Clear hearts. Clear things. Clear. Babe, I'm only a hundred grand away from OT-8.

It's the worst Game Boy game ever. Level up. Okay. All right. So wait. So what did you choose? I don't remember. I'm choosing MySpace.

You choose MySpace? I choose MySpace. Okay. What do you want eliminated again? It's Verizon. It's Verizon? That's the first one I said no to. No shit.

That was their like campaign from the year of 2000. Okay. The way the world works. Isn't that like Bell Atlantic or something? No. No. I was picturing James Earl Jones saying that. The way the world works.

The way the world works. Well, keep picturing him. Yeah. Okay. Keep picturing him. No, I can very clearly. FedEx. Amazon.

Blue Cross. Blue Shield. Comcast. FedEx. The way the world works. Oh my God, James. It's me. Wow.

And back from the dead, I was in the pet cemetery for so long. Wait, did he die? Wait, he didn't die? I don't know. Wait, what? Anyway, I don't know. I don't know either, I don't know. Hold on.

I don't think he died yet. James Earl Jones. Okay. So it turns out he was just keeping watch in the pet cemetery. He didn't need to be buried. Wow. Because he's still alive. You're terrible.

Yeah. Of course he didn't die. He was in the Lion King. I don't know. I didn't see the Lion King. Nor did I. I just know that. Yeah, because you spend too much time on YouTube and shit.

I do. Okay, so FedEx, Comcast. What were the other two? Amazon, Blue Cross, Blue Shield. I'm going to say, let's say Comcast. Say your final answer. Yes. They are one eliminated again.

Tell me it's not FedEx. It's FedEx. Fuck. Yeah. I did a last minute change. I suck. I really, I was... You suck.

Oh my God. And I love it. Okay, ready? Yeah, let's go. Number eight, it's good to be square. Okay, this is like a pizza commercial, I think. This might be like Lido's Pizza or something. It's good to be square.

Hit me. Lego. No. Wendy's. Oh, maybe. Squarespace. No. Rubik's Cube.

No. I am going to say, I think it's Wendy's because of their infamously square beef patties. Honey, when's the last time you went to a Wendy's? It actually, maybe like a year ago. It was delicious. Oh, not that long ago. Yeah, not that long ago. That's longer than me.

Wendy's is delicious. And? Not sponsored. Nutritious. I like Wendy's because they put mustard and ketchup on their burgers. Is that right? That's right. I haven't had a Wendy's burger in years and years.

Well, it sounds like... I know what I'm eating tonight. Yeah, it sounds like you don't know what it's like. I'm thinking Wendy's. To be square, Jack. Okay. No one knows what it's like to be the square. Fresh, never-frozen beef patties, all right?

That's right. Fresh, never-frozen. And they cut them in squares for reasons unbeknownst to humans. But I do believe it's Wendy's because I can't like, yeah, the others are square in them. No, I think Wendy's would really capitalize on the square thing. If I were to add in another brand like square, the thing that you'd like put your credit card into if you plug it into your iPad and stuff, would you? No.

Think it was that? I wouldn't. I would still say Wendy's. You can't thwart me, woman. You can't. I'm stubborn. Once I've made up my mind, I've made it. All right.

We're moving on. God, I think I'm eight for eight. I don't even want to tell you that you're right. I'm just going to move on to question nine. Okay? Let's go. The closest thing to home. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. The closest thing to home. Barnes and Noble, McDonald's. Pottery Barn. Or the Church of Scientology. God damn it.

This is the hardest one yet. You fucking reused one of the choices. It's so hard. The closest thing to home. Yes. Did McDonald's ever use that? I don't know if McDonald's ever used that, even though it's been around since, like, what, the 50s, right?

I don't know. Probably. We got to watch that movie. Yeah. Michael Keaton gives me weird vibes though. You know that. I don't like his face. What a fucked up, mean spirited, unnecessarily evil thing to spit out.

He has eyebrows like you. I don't like looking at you guys. Didn't stop you from fucking marrying me, did it? Hey. I don't like looking at you guys. Hey, I'm playing the long game here. Oh, is that what you're doing? I had to convince you not to sign a prenup.

So, you know, this is not going to age well. No. Someone's already filed off that sound. Yeah. So I don't think it's McDonald's. Okay. What are we left with? We're left with Scientology, as we often are.

Pottery Barn. And Pottery Barn. And Barnes and Noble. And Barnes and Noble. The closest thing to home. The closest thing to home. I should have made that like I should have like thrown in like, oh yeah, that's the tagline to like ET2 or something.

They never made the movie, but they sure as shit made the ride. Hey guys, whatever you do, don't go on. No, go on it. No, don't go on it. Don't go on the ET ride. It's so bad. In Universal Studios Orlando, Florida. Don't go on that ride.

It makes no sense. It's not even a ride. I know. It makes no sense. It's so funny though. Just make sure you go in with a good sense of humor and make sure you don't wait too long in line. Oh wait, that was the other thing I was going to say.

Make sure it's not a three hour wait for the fucking ET2 ride. They even prompt it with like grainy old ass footage of Steven Spielberg saying, I hope you like my ride. And at the end, they make ET like say your name at the end. They're like, thank you. And you can't even understand what the fuck. But I remember going on it as a kid and thinking that was so cool. How'd they know my name?

Yeah, dude, ET's the best. ET and Alf would make beautiful babies. I'm sure there's a fan fiction somewhere, baby. Oh my God, they're totally is. Oh my God. Is that our next very girl boss Christmas? I hope so. Can somebody make a screenplay of like a romance between ET and Alf?

Is that weird? That's weird. Damn ET, that's one long glowy finger. Where are you sticking that thing? Alf. That's what he says when he's aroused. He says his own name like a Pokemon. What is this podcast turned into?

What is happening? The answer, honey, is Pottery Barn. Pottery Barn is the closest thing to home. It's fucking McDonald's, bitch. I think so I read that. Okay, so that was their slogan from 1967 to 1969. And apparently they were trying to make it seem as though it was your closest option for food to your home.

Oh, because they were already like ubiquitous and omnipresent and everything. Apparently, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. So I'm acing this quiz. I'm like nine for nine. You're killing it. I'm feeling fine.

You and James Earl Jones, who is the like keeper of keys and grounds at the pet cemetery. You guys are hella tight these days. I love you, Simba. All right. Here's your next question. Exhilarating. Invigorating AIDS digestion. Exhilarating.

What was it? Invigorating. Invigorating AIDS digestion. See, like, see, I don't think that's Alka-Seltzer because it's all of those things. Pepto-Bismol, maybe. What else aids your digestion? Give me the choices, woman. Pepto-Bismol.

Oh my God. Tums. Mm-hmm. Red Bull and Pepsi. Oh, Red Bull. That's interesting. So is Pepsi. Damn.

I think it's interesting that you said Pepto-Bismol before. I even gave you that as an answer because it was. Yeah, but it's too on the nose there and it's too spot on. Have you ever had Pepto-Bismol, Jack? Sure. How would you describe the taste of Pepto-Bismol? Is that the pink one? Yes.

Delicious. You like the taste? I would call it exhilarating, exciting. Invigorating. Invigorating. Would you say it's invigorating? It definitely aided my digestion. Definitely aided in the digestion.

Mm-hmm. But it also, it does taste rather minty. Does it not? Minty. Pepto-Bismol is straight, straight up minty. No, it's just straight up pink stuff. No. Oh my God.

Guys, do you understand now why I'm like Jack film? Well, no, never mind. It tastes blind. Hold on. You know what? I'm wrong. As a kid, there was a different pink stuff and fellow millennials. That was Amoxicillin.

Yeah, yeah. Y'all know what I'm talking about. What was that? What did that do? It was an antibiotic. God, it tasted good. They gave it to you in bubble gum flavor because you're a child. I could drink a pint of that.

That stuff was amazing. Pepto-Bismol is like minty flavored. Okay. I have not had, you know what? To my credit, I haven't had Pepto-Bismol in a long time. It hasn't been that long. More like Pepto-Bismol, you know? I'm gonna say, I don't know what I'm gonna say.

I'm kind of stalling. It could be Toms. It would be funny that Pepsi's a good one because Pepsi is like, it sounds like an old-timey advertisement for Pepsi. Maybe they named Pepsi because it was like Pepsiid, which is like that other Pepsiid. Oh, maybe that's where Pepsi got its name. Why are you convincing me?

Why are you trying to convince me? I was already leaning towards Pepsi. Why are you like, why are you egging me on? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's Pepsi. You should guess Pepsi. I don't like that. I don't like this at all.

Pepsi came from Pepsiid, like that other stomach. That's why I want to say it's Pepsi. Yeah. But you're making me think it's not Pepsi. Maybe it's Pepsi. What was the one before Pepsi? I mean, remember in school when the school nurse used to give you like Coke syrup if your stomach hurt and it was just like flat Coke or...

Oh, kind of. Yeah. Remember that? Maybe because it ate a digestion. It made your belly feel good. Remember that? Maybe that's what Pepsi is all about. Maybe the answer is Pepsi.

Did your school nurse ever slap you around until you stopped complaining? Oh, I just ditched school. I didn't even go to the nurse. Oh, nice. Yeah. I would just walk out. Yeah. I think it's Pepsi.

Final answer. No way. Yeah. It's Pepsi. Hey. And here's why. I chose it. It just sounded very...

Because reverse psychology doesn't work. Fuck your reverse psychology. I chose it because it sounded very old fashioned. It's like one of those like that's what they think like old guy in the 1800s on like a carriage in the wild west saying, now here fellas, here's something that'll aid your digestion. Right. Give you the strength of 10 men. You know it.

It's this lovely elixir, et cetera. And I don't have to explain why I'm right. I'm right. Okay. Kids, learn from my mistakes. It's all I'm going to say. No, I think you're doing quite well. I am 10 for 10 though.

All right. We have a few more. Let's go. I have three more. We're going to do Lucky 13. Okay. Oh. Just as Jesus would want.

He would. Lucky number is 13. It is his birthday after all. And this is Taylor Swift's birthday month. Is that right? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Her lucky number is 13.

And so we're going to do 13 questions for Jesus and Taylor Swift. Great. Okay. One in the same. Basically the same thing. Okay. Feel ordinary with us. Oh no.

Feel ordinary with us. Oh boy. Some, it's probably some medicine, some medicinal brand. Feel ordinary with us. Maybe like a anti-depressant maybe. Like with a little animated ball or whatever. Like, I think that was a rock. You know what I'm talking about, right?

I think that was a rock. Yeah. That was a Zoloft commercial. That was a Zoloft. Yeah. Could be Zoloft. It was a sad rock. Sad rock.

Yeah. But then it got happy because it took Zoloft. Okay. Are you ready for your choices? Let's go. If it's fucking Scientology. All right. All right.

Thank God. Airbnb, Bed Bath and Beyond. Oh my God. Cotton or UberX. Feel ordinary with us. Airbnb is the only one screaming any sense at me right now. Why? Because if you, you know why?

I'll tell you why, Erin. Okay. Tell me, tell me why. Since you asked. If you're a stranger in a strange land. Yes. Yeah. You know, what do you want to do?

You just want to feel ordinary. Okay. You book an Airbnb and you're feeling right at home. Jack, do you remember the last time we booked an Airbnb? Sure. What, what happened at that Airbnb? We had a lovely time. What happened when we turned the lights off and then on again?

Oh, that was two Airbnb's ago. Okay. That was two air. Yeah. Okay. Sure. What happened when we turned the lights off and on again? The entire room filled.

Swarmed. With moths. Like how many? I stopped counting after seven. And how big were they? Fist sized, Erin. Fist size of my fist. So did you feel ordinary?

No, I did not feel ordinary. I felt sub, sub ordinary. I felt disgusting. Yeah. That was rough. That was rough. That was rough. Yeah.

And we had like one very sick puppy with us. No. Well, no, remember we had one. They were all shitting everywhere. We won't. But here's the problem is that we woke up to a room covered in dog poop. Like the liquidy kind. Oh my God.

And then I took the one that I blamed Sunday for it. Right. It's always Sunday. It's always Sunday. So I took her out of the room and I put her in a crate in another room and I was like, you can't be trusted to roam freely in a room. You're going to poop all over it. And I cleaned up all the liquid poop and then I woke up to more dog poop.

I had picked the wrong dog. It was clawing the whole time. It was the entire time. She betrayed us. So anyways, the question. Anyway, yeah, is that ordinary? I don't know. Maybe that is ordinary.

But give me the other choices again. I'm still at my guts screaming Airbnb cotton, cotton brand. Yeah, maybe Uber X and bed, bath and beyond. Well, shit. Now I'm thinking it's cotton. I'm very easily swayed. I am a manipulator's dream. What was a B one?

Bed, bath and beyond. No, that's not it. Feel ordinary. No, fuck off. No, it's either Airbnb or cotton. I'm going to say Airbnb. That's where you go to feel ordinary. These hoity toity hotels and this in the shady, shady motels.

No, you go to Airbnb to feel ordinary. Final answer. Give me the give me the tokens. So that is no longer their slogan. But like it was, but also I was like, what the fuck does that even mean? That's a terrible slogan. And here you are. You're their clientele that at one point asked me, where do I go to look at Airbnb?

It's like you didn't even know it was an actual company. And here you are. I did. Guessing their slogan. I didn't realize it was like the Kleenex of tissues. I literally thought Airbnb was not a brand, but just like. Idiot. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Ready? Let's go. Number 12. Lucky numbers. Gather around the good stuff. Gather around the good stuff.

I think I'm going to know this one. What's coming to mind? No, no. Nothing's coming to mind except that I've heard this one before. Gather around the good stuff. I think it's like a food. Gather around the good stuff. Like hostess or something.

Let's go. Let's go. Hostess. Wait, really? Shit. Okay. Pizza Hut. No.

Boston Market. I don't think so. The Church of Scientology. Yeah. Scientology is where all the good stuff sat. That's why you have to gather around it. Right. I think it's hostess.

I think it's hostess. If that was legit, one of you are. Now, I'm also not entirely sure because there is that old commercial with the sharks saying now that's the stuff hostess and are you fucking with my memories? Because you would, you demon woman. You absolutely would. I don't think it's Scientology. What?

Gather around the good stuff. But that shit is good. What were the other two besides Scientology and Hostess? Boston Market and Pizza Hut. Okay. Maybe it is Boston Market. You don't gather around the fucking hostess treats. You get them out of fucking Wawa.

And then you're on your merry way. Like you don't, people don't gather. People don't gather around hostess treats. They gather around pizza, right? You have celebrations with pizza. What? Little Jimmy's team won the softball game. Wait, but you, but you said.

You get pizza. But you said Boston Market. I know. I'm getting there. Okay. Boston Market's a tougher sell, but you could gather around a nice, you know, small half chicken rotisserie. It's a buffet.

It is. Yeah. Well, like you, you pick out a buffet of stuff. Gather around the good stuff. Maybe it's fucking Boston Market. Let's do Boston Market. Final answer. Final answer.

What? Yeah. Well, it's not a buffet, but, but you like, you get a bunch of shit. Get a pizza. It is pizza. Oh my God. Sorry. Gather around the good stuff.

But, but by the way. I talk myself out of it when I know, but also what's funny is that hostess was not one of my multiple choice answers, but when you said, you piece of shit, what else was it? Barnes and Noble. Gather around the good stuff. Absolutely not. Hey, books are good stuff. Absolutely not.

Books are good for you. Did you at least admit you were kind of impressed with my pizza theory? Yeah. Sure. It was fine. And then I fucking talk myself out of it. Once you mentioned buffet. Sure.

I'm an idiot. All right. Give me the last one so that I can be 13 for 13. I'm giving myself a point for all of these, by the way, because I'm trying my best. And that in the end is all we can ask ourselves. Okay. Ask of ourselves. All right.

Are you ready? This is your final question. Ernie, I'm ready for the final question. Power their toys. Power their future. Okay. So the easy, obvious choice is a battery of some sort. Power their toys.

Power their future. Is it Duracell? Is it Energizer? Is it none of the above? Lithium? No. No. I mean, those are the big two, right?

They were the Coke and Pepsi of the Battery Wars in the 80s, 90s. All right. Keep going. Duracell. Damn it. SpaceX. Hmm. Play school.

Hmm. Nick Jr. Power their toys. Power their future or futures. Future. What the fuck would Nick Jr. have to do with powering their toys? That doesn't make any sense. Nickelodeon has a line of toys.

No. It's not. It has a line of toys. It's not Nickelodeon Jr. You don't call it Nickelodeon Jr. It's called Nick Jr. It's not Nickelodeon Jr. It could be Duracell.

Just like it could have been Hostess. Right. Right. Power their toys. Power their future. Yeah. It's a good, like, scare tactic too for young parents. Yeah.

Like, hey, you want to make sure little Jimmy grows up to be the next, you know, Musk Einstein? Huh? Better make sure he's got enough double A's to put his T-Rex. I saw a TikTok today that said if we made $1 million an hour while working for our entire career until we retired at 65, Elon Musk would still be richer than we are. And that was so sad. That was not ridiculous. You know what's ridiculous is that he doesn't pay taxes and that he harasses Bernie Sanders.

Not that I, you know, but he harasses people on Twitter. Right. Because he thinks he's funny even though Tesla has received numerous government payouts. But I digress. So I don't think it's SpaceX. I don't. Because what does SpaceX sell? They sell expensive seats on rocket ships to go to space, but not even actually go to

space. Right. They don't even do anything in space. They barely, like, you know, breach the atmosphere and then before dipping back down. What a joke. Yeah. Moon Musk. Let's go.

Then I'll be impressed. Yeah. Um, so that doesn't, I don't think that I don't think the saying applies. Power their toys. So that leaves Duracell and play school and play school. It could be play school, but I'm going to say Duracell because fuck you. That's why. Final answer.

Yes. Are you so confident that you would double or nothing as a matter of fact? Oh no. Hold on. Let me just, let me take one more spig of my cherry cola wine. Are you ready to play the squid game, Jack? Is this happening? Is this how the squid games play?

Is this, is this happening? It's been about three years since I've seen the squid game show, but, um, I think that's how it ends. It just ends with the guy saying, you want to double or nothing punk? Yeah. I'm going to double or nothing it. I think it is Duracell because none of the other answers make sense. Power their toys.

Power their future. Well, fuck. Play school is pretty good, but power. No, I'm going to say it's Duracell because why would they power their toy? They have the toys. They don't power them. Batteries are never included. You power their toys.

And what do you power toys with? That's right. Batteries. I mean, you could just plug them in too. No. No, it's Duracell. Final answer. Let's go.

Double or nothing. I'm sorry. What? You've lost everything. No. You've lost everything. Everything. I'm just kidding.

You won. Yeah. Okay. You doubled or nothing. You doubled and you won. It's Duracell. What? I won.

Yeah. You can't do that. No. I can do whatever I want. It's my podcast. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Aaron, you would be a terrible Regis Philbin. No.

I'd be the best Steve Harvey. Okay. Hello. We read the wrong answers. It's what we do. Oh, he did do that. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.

That was the best. It was such a surreal fucking moment of television. Anyway, I win. But you lost in my heart. I don't give a shit about your heart. Honestly, like what is like, okay, you got like eight right times zero though because you like lost quite a few of them. So really, you got zero.

You doubled zero. No. So you're still at zero. No. Congratulations. You're still a zero. If I could legally play We Are The Champions by Queen, I would scream it. I don't even know if you're legally allowed to say.

I'm not either. The song title of We Are The Champions by Queen. How sad is that? Will, make sure to bleep that out. Jack film. Yes. Do you hear that? Wait.

Is it time? I hear the bells of horoscopes. The bells of horoscopes. It's happening. It's here upon us. Sagittarius. We have a doozy of a horoscope for you this week. And for all you other zodiac signs, fuck it.

Pretend it's yours. Who cares? But Aaron, I need your help. Could you help me finish out this horoscope? That's what I'm here for. For our Sagittarius listeners. Let's go. Okay.

Can you give me like a public chain? Like Boston Market? Yes. It can be Boston Market. Is that your choice? Yes. Can I get a feeling noun? Moody.

Is that a feeling? Yes. But it's not a noun. So moodiness or even mood. Oh, okay. Melancholy. Sure. Can I get an organ?

The colon. A beverage? Dosecces. Very appropriate. How do you spell ecces and dosecces? E-Q-U-I-S. Thank you. I add an extra S for some reason.

Can I get a celestial body? Like, what does that mean? Something you'd see in outer space. The Andromeda galaxy. Is that a thing? Let's just use galaxy for this one. Let's just use black hole. How about black hole?

You want black hole? I want black hole. It goes with colon, you know. Okay. And can I get a currency plural? Kronas. Swedish Kronas. K-R-O-N-A-S.

Yes. Okay. Cool. Family member, general, like relative T. Step brother. Yes. Can I get another family member? Great uncle.

Perfect. What's something you'd find at the North Pole? Buddy the elf. Perfect. And then give me a monster? Mike Wazowski. Okay. Can I get a mode of transportation, please?

Submarine. Yes. Can I get a male name? X-A-E-A-12. Oh, no. Can I get a paranormal creature plural? What? The Babadooks?

Yes. That will work. Can I get a body part or organ? Arm pit. Can I get an adjective with a negative connotation? Smelly. Can I get a catchphrase? Shamalama ding dong.

Okay. Can I get a TV channel? The Home Shopping Network? Yep. Can I get a celebrity? A live or dead? Either. James Earl Jones.

The Schrodinger's cat of celebrities. Can I get a plural form of like a type of person, like a collection of people, but it could be like a certain type of people? What? What are you saying right now? Teenagers, boomers, children. Okay. How about Americans?

Give me a type of a sweet food. Cotton candy. Give me a holiday. Crimbus. Give me a movie. 40-year-old virgin. Food? Any food?

Frog legs. Give me a pointy object. Elf ears. Can I get a female name, please? Beverly. Nice. Can I get a body part plural? Butt cheeks.

Thank you. That's good. Can I get a TV show? Big Bang Theory. That'll do quite nicely. Can I get a social media platform? Does Bumble count? Sure.

And a planet? Uranus. Thank you. Can I get an adjective? Prickly. And a noun? Shoe. Perfect.

Body part? Body parts going on. Knee cap. Can I get a verb in the past tense? Jingled. Another TV show? Grey's Anatomy. Yes.

Another celebrity, please. Donald Gleason. My favorite. Is that spelled D-O-M-N-H-A-L? D-O-M-H-N-A-L-L. Another catchphrase. G. Willikers. Does that count?

Yep. Can I get an illness, please? Measles. Perfect. And can I get a restaurant chain? Olive Garden. Strap in. Oh boy.

Okay. Sagittarius. I haven't even read this. I just see the big block of text in front of me. And you are in for a doozy. Sagittarius. Tis the season, Sagittarius. We all know how stressful the holidays can get.

So this week's horoscope will be a collection of helpful tips to keep you merry and bright. First off, take time to marvel at the Christmas lights over at Boston Market. I don't even think it's in business anymore. They are sure to bring melancholy straight to your colon as Boston Market does. Then warm up your soul with some hot dose eckeys at everyone's favorite coffee chain, Black Hole Cronas. It sounds so dirty. Or better yet, support small businesses and get a dose eckeys at your local step brother

and great uncle shop. And speaking of step brothers and great uncles, visiting family is a part of the holiday season, but all that travel can turn even the jolliest buddy of the elf into a furry green cranky Mike Wazowski. So instead, ask your family if they can hop on a submarine and come see you for a change. Why should you be the one tasked to travel? What? Don't submarines go both ways? Sorry, I should explain.

My aunt, XAE-112, is begging to see me this Christmas, but I don't really want to see her since she's not vaccinated because, quote, the boba jokes in the medicine will fill her armpit with smelly thoughts and make her say nonsensical things like shamalama ding dong, end quote. Look, I love my aunt XAE-12, but she hasn't been the same ever since she started watching the home shopping network, nonstop and swearing her allegiance to James Earl Jones. I mean, that man did play Darth Vader, okay?

Just saying. It's quite sad. I just want my aunt XAE-12 back every Christmas. We used to make snow Americans and build cotton candy houses. Oh, we would decorate the crimpest tree with 40-year-old virgin ornaments and hang little frog-like canes on top. Oh, that's so sweet. And of course, we topped the tree with a big glowing pointy elf ear.

Oh. Oh my God, can you imagine? We'd sing Christmas Beverly's around the neighborhood until our butt cheeks turned blue. Oh, aunt XAE-12, how I miss you. I'd wish you'd stop posting big, big theory memes on your bumble and come back to Uranus. Anyways, sorry. Back to Sagittarius. The number one way to get in the holiday spirit is to watch the timeless classic.

It's a prickly shoe. I remember when aunt XAE-12 would sit me on her kneecap and put on that movie while I jingle to sleep. What magical times. Now, she just rots away watching Grey's Anatomy and texting horrible things to me. Total Gleason is our true president. And she willacures and measles his hoax. And don't trust Olive Garden. Oh well, happy holidays.

Hey. That does sense the Sagittarius horse. Didn't you at one point ask me for a male name? I did. But what was my answer? I said XAE-12. Yeah, that was the male name. Oh, okay.

And then the Beverly was the female name. Because you're saying Christmas Beverly. Got it. Wow, Sagittarius. You have quite the Christmas season ahead of you. You really do. If you follow those tips, and not just Sagittarius, I want to open this up to all the other zodiac signs out there listening. You're bound to have a very merry holiday season.

I mean, let's be real, measles is a hoax. So like, I think and XAE-12 or whatever the fuck is like on to something maybe kind of sort of also the home shopping network totally slaps. So like. It's slaps. Well that about does it for the 25th episode of Aaron is the funny one. Unless we not forget the 25th is the day that Jesus may or may not have been born, you know. May or may not. If you believe in that kind of thing.

So thank you so much for joining us always. Also, don't forget, call us on dad hug me 10 country code plus 001. Right. We'd love to hear from you. Please give us your ideas for quizzes. We're always thirsty for more ideas guys. Please. We'd love to hear from you.

And do not forget to tune in next week out. Don't forget to tune in next week because we have a very special Christmas episode that's going to be released on December. 20th of 2021. And it may be very Christmas. It may be very merry. And there may or may not be a girl boss involved. That's all I'm going to say. Tune in next week.

Thank you so much for listening and joining. Also, let me know how you did on the quiz that I gave Jack film. And tweet us too. Yeah. Tweet at me. Let me know how you did at two toes up on Twitter. The number two toes up. Can't wait to hear from you.

Thanks so much for listening. I'll see you guys next week. Until next time haters.