Fairy Tale Fix - 27: Nice Save: Sleeping Beauty
Episode Date: September 28, 2021It's our Podversary! To celebrate one year of Fairy Tale Fix, Abbie and Kelsey cover one of the big ones: Sleeping Beauty....
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So like way creepier.
A little creepier.
It's still kind of creepy, but.
It's already borderline. happy podversary happy podversary it happens we did this for a whole year a whole year it's it's oh my god wild i cannot believe it
we managed to get it together enough to do this once every other week plus the bone sodes
for one whole year like that's amazing it'shmm. I guess we must really enjoy doing this.
Yeah, it's pretty fun.
Yeah.
I have fun.
I love these stories so much.
Oh, it's the highlight of my month every time we come together to do these episodes.
I gotta say, when we decided to do Sleeping Beauty for our podversary, I was thinking, like, oh, I was going to be, I was thinking I was going to be a little disappointed because I thought I knew the story. And alas,
I was not disappointed in the things that I read.
Yeah. There, there is a lot to cover. I too thought I knew the story, but that's just because I really love the animated movie.
It is pretty great.
Gosh, we'll get into this later in the episode, but I thought that the Sleeping Beauty movie
was later than it was. I thought that it was more recent until I actually looked at the date.
Like 1959 or something, right?
Yeah. It was put out like only
a couple years after my mom was born.
Yeah, it was one
of the first. It wasn't the first, but
it was one of the first. Yeah.
Yeah, definitely not the first.
Snow White was the first.
Then I went on a bit of a tear and I looked up
the dates on like a bunch of the movies,
a bunch of like the animated films that I enjoyed
when I was a kid. And a lot of them were like the 1930s the 1940s like the sleeping beauty is actually one
of the later ones of sort of that early period of disney animated films for children but anyway
that was that was just kind of a trip i thought that it was more recent than it was just because it just continues to be so iconic that I –
Yep.
It's just so relevant still that I thought that it must be more recent than like the 1950s.
I kind of kept getting it confused with Cinderella just a little bit.
Cinderella came out before it, which was really surprising to me.
But you got it confused with Cinderella?
Yeah.
really surprising to me. But you got it confused with Cinderella? Yeah, I think because there's that Amazon Prime movie with Camilla. How do you say her name? Camilla Cabello? Oh, God,
who knows or cares? I think it's Camilla Cabello. She's got a couple great songs that I really
enjoy. But I so I've been getting like ads for that forever, of course, because I'm always doing
like fairytale research and stuff. And it's just relevant in my you know internet history so i think i've just been getting
it confused with that because cinderella is just kind of on the brain yeah that's fair maybe or
maybe i don't know these princess stories just aren't usually my favorite which is why i was
so pleasantly surprised after reading a couple different versions.
Well, I'm pleasantly surprised. I'm excited to hear what you bumped into because I was
disappointed upon reading the original Grimm's fairy tale. Oh, maybe you should have read the
Charles Peralt version. That's what I... I have a funny feeling that Charles Peralt or whoever his informant was who gave, who told
him that story that he collected, they deserve all the flowers for taking what was a really
nothing story and improving it a lot. I don't know. Okay. I'm excited to talk about this. I'm really stoked. We'll talk
all about it. I'm really excited to get into it. But first things first, I just wanted to
welcome everybody, all of our listeners to our one year anniversary celebration of Fairytale Fix.
It's been a bonkers year in so many ways, but this was bonkers in a fun way. And we had a great time.
We've really enjoyed
connecting with all of you. I think that's been one of the best parts of doing this podcast,
aside from I get to see Kelsey all the time and we get to nerd out about fairy tales together.
That's obviously my favorite part. But also meeting a bunch of other people who also are
really interested in these stories and the different
variations and all of the ways in which they can be, you know, quote unquote, improved upon.
100%. It has been so much fun. It's kind of like just joining a big giant fairy tale book club.
Yeah, we all kind of geek out on enjoying the same things. And luckily, most of our listeners,
you know, I mean, I'm sure that's why there are listeners don't absolutely hate our fixes and love
our, you know, love for villains. And yeah, we're just we were just really excited to find a
community of people online who get us. Yes, definitely. And it's just been really lovely
meeting you. Thank you to everybody who's
like gotten in touch. It's been beautiful. Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you all so much for
listening. I mean, it's just it's amazing to me that anybody listens at all. Why would you?
I'm like, it's just two like white women giggling at fairy tales.-huh so thank you we enjoy it um i'm so glad
that somebody else enjoys it too and yeah thanks to everybody who's reached out and definitely a
huge thanks to our patrons yes thank you to everybody who's reached out to us and been a
part of this community and thanks especially to the people who are currently making making it possible for Kelsey and I to actually produce the show. And Dustin,
of course, can't forget Dustin. You know what, thanks, especially to Dustin, first and foremost,
for editing our nonsense into something comprehensible. Our king. Everyone else,
Dustin is our king. And we love you so much. This literally would not be happening without you. So we absolutely love you and thank you so much.
But it also literally could not happen without our beautiful patrons of which we have
a brand new one that we got this month. Thank you so much, Donna, for joining our Patreon community.
Welcome.
Donna for joining our Patreon community. You are a beautiful soul and we're really happy you're here. Thanks also to Caroline, Jordan, Jeremy, Lisa, Madeline, Kaylee, Zach, Kelsey, Dami,
Christopher, Jen, Julia, Noah, Ricky, Elizabeth, Cynthia, Bill, Angel, and again, Dustin.
with Cynthia, Bill, Angel, and again, Dustin.
Not only our editor and producer, he's also our first patron.
He's also our very first patron.
And we appreciate all of you so much.
Thank you so much.
If you'd like to join them in helping support the pod,
helping it make us possible for us to do another year of this then head on over
to
fairytalefix
at Patreon
I think it's
fairytalefix.cash
is our URL
and
go ahead
and sign on
you get
one bonus episode
a month
at
I think the $6 level
and then the rewards
just stack from there
at this point
we have nine
bonus episodes for you
to catch up on. So if you need that fairy tale fix. If you need that fairy tale fix. You gotta
get that fix. You gotta get it. And give us that gold, baby. There are like nine extra episodes
waiting for you if you go ahead and sign up at fairytalefix.cash. We would deeply, deeply
appreciate it. Also, just sort of as a general
thank you to our entire community, not just our Patreons. Kelsey, do you have something you'd
like to share? I do. I do have something I'd like to share. So we're doing a really fun giveaway on
Instagram at this point. By the time this episode comes out, we should have posted it already.
We have some really fun stuff that we're giving away. It's really easy. You just go on Instagram, like our page, make sure that you
follow us, tag a friend or two that you think would like the show, and that's it. And we will
pick somebody by the end of the month and you will get all this cool stuff, including one of
our favorite books, A Book of Dragons by Ruth Manning Sanders, one of our fairy tale queens.
Fairy tale queen and we also have some other cool stuff
in the giveaway there's a
smoky quartz crystal
there is a candle
there's like a dragon pendant
thing go check it out
you can win all of that
it's very dragon themed
because dragons are awesome
so if you're a boss ass, go on Instagram and enter our giveaway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think we now, now that we've done that, we have a lot to talk about and we should,
we should get into it.
Before, before we super get into it, I did kind of want to reminisce over the past year, just a little bit. Um, so I wanted to ask
you like, so what was your, what's your, what's been your favorite part about doing this so far?
Like what's like the most memorable, what? You actually came prepared for the questions. You're
amazing. I, I love you more and more every day that we do this show.
Sorry, what was the question? Oh, what was that question? What's been like your most
favorite or memorable like moment during the podcast? Like what's been your favorite part?
Or just something that sticks out because obviously it's all good.
I think the moments that have really stuck out to me are the moments when
you and I get surprised by a fairy tale. I think that what I've liked a lot is finding a lot of
fairy tales that we don't actually feel like we want to fix them that much. There's definitely
been a few. Yeah. Last year, during our very first episode, when we'd recorded the Bluebeard episode,
Last year, during our very first episode, when we recorded the Bluebeard episode, we talked a little bit about how we didn seen in an animated film or just sort of in the general like cultural waters. Yeah. The originals tend to be
a lot more fun than we were thinking originally. Well, not just the originals of the ones that we
already know, but the ones that you've never heard of, I had never read. John and His Brothers.
That's one of our Patreon episodes. I hate to say it, but a lot of our most memorable moments have
actually been Patreon episodes. We've had a lot of memorable ones in our regular season as well.
But I think that that fairy tale is like, how have I never heard this? This has everything
I want in a fairy tale, and I don't actually want to fix much of it.
Yeah, they're so good. I definitely, there's been a few, you know, and kind of popular ones that I
had just never read before, but like Goose Girl and even Buttercup. I mean, that was kind of just
a short, silly one, but I love those stories and it makes me wish that there were movies about those
like the lesser known or just less popular i guess because they're still they're so good
or even vasily's to the beautiful like why why isn't that a movie oh yeah there's just so much
opportunity and and yet they keep rehashing cinderella over and over over Cinderella over and over. Over and over and over when there are so many great fairy tales from all over the world
that also deserve that treatment.
Yep.
We should definitely get a Baba Yaga film.
Oh, yeah.
At some point.
Definitely.
And there are just so many like good Russian fairy tales that I'm surprised that they haven't made anything out of it.
It blows my mind because they're so good.
They're so good.
Oh, you know what?
This was another highlight.
You know what story deserves its own movie that I would really love to watch this movie?
The Deer in the Woodcutter.
I would love a beautiful movie of the rooster origin story.
Oh my gosh, that would be so good.
And think about how gorgeous it is because it's also got everything you want. It's just beautiful
in its descriptions of the different scenes in the movie. It has fairies. it has heavenly uh spaces it's got a little mystery it it's just it's gorgeous
i loved i loved that story and then it's got the fun ending where you find out that this is how the
rooster uh-huh came to be and i think that that's i don't know i i love it where's that movie
or even the demon king the idea that all these women kind of come together
yes at the end and kind of the origin of the water splashing festival there's so much
that's like you just beautiful imagery and such a it would be such a good villain to watch
yeah a great villain to watch and it's just and if we're looking for a story for
modern times since you know we want more movies that encourage
little girls to sort of band together against their oppressors uh that that's a great that's
a great one for that that's a great story for that yeah that'd also be really good let us know
what your favorite fairy tale was that you heard from us or just your favorite fairy tale at all
but like if you had a favorite one i'd love to know what it was you can tweet from us or just your favorite fairy tale at all. But like if you had a favorite one, I'd love to know what it was.
You can tweet at us at Fairytale Fix Pod
or just message us on Instagram
or Facebook or whatever.
We'd love to hear from you
and just kind of see
what was your favorite story from the last year?
Which one would you love to see most in a movie?
Ooh, and how would you cast it?
Ooh, and how would you cast it? Well, that how would you cast it? Well, that's one of my
questions for you after we've done a couple like talking about Sleeping Beauty for a while is how
would you cast the live action? Oh my gosh. But we'll get there. I was trying to think about that
last night, actually. I was genuinely like, how would I recast this? How would I recast this?
So I might have to chew on that a little what was uh what was
the highlight what was the highlight for you what's something that really stuck out for you
so i think one of my favorite parts about our podcast has been when miscellaneous productions
put on that event resurrecting dead fairy tales with jack sipes and he did like a lecture about
so basically about how fairy tales,
you know, their historical and cultural importance. And I mean, it was really cool.
And it was just kind of a last minute thing that we decided to do. And it was really fun because
we met on video chat and we actually ended up going to Discord and inviting a couple of other
people that hang out on our Discord. And one of our patrons and good friends, Noah, showed up.
And it was just kind of like, yes, that was so fun.
Yeah, we got to meet Noah.
And we kind of got to hang out a little bit before the event started.
And then we watched it.
And we got to ask Jack Zipes a couple of questions.
And it was really cool.
It was just, it was fun.
And it really felt like it – it really brought like the community together.
It felt –
That was the first time I really felt like it was like a big, you know, nerdy fairytale book club because a bunch of people asked us questions about it afterwards and it was just really fun.
Yeah.
And we got to kind of keep it going.
Yeah, that was cool.
It was also – it was a really cool lecture that I also wouldn't
necessarily have gone to. Yeah, if it wasn't for this pod, if it wasn't for this podcast,
like if we weren't doing this. Yeah, definitely. I might have said like, that sounds cool. But
I probably wouldn't have even heard about it if it weren't for the podcast. In fact,
I don't even remember how I saw it. I think I happened upon it on Instagram because it had
the hashtag fairy tales or something. That's a good highlight. That was a good time. I just keep remembering
more and more things in this past year that have just brought me that just brought me a lot of joy.
Yeah. And that's also a really good incentive, I think, to join our discord. I really want to
do more stuff like that where we can kind of talk to people and have fun and, you know,
meet people with the same interests.
It's just really, really exciting.
Yeah.
We like, yeah, we have a couple of channels in the Discord for Fantastic Worlds productions that are just all fairytale related.
We have an actual book club now where we mostly read novels that are based in mythology and folklore.
We did Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, and that's based on Mayan mythology.
And it was an absolute wild ride.
I loved this book, as did, I think, everybody who participated in our book club this month.
And we just do fun stuff.
I was super busy this month, so I didn't.
But I still plan on picking it up. I'm
really excited. You should still give it a try. Yeah, especially after all the reviews. I'm like,
okay, I got to pick up this book. Yeah, this one was a favorite. So you should read it anyway,
because it was fun. Oh, I for sure will. And it's also inspired me. I need to go out and I need to
find some mythology, some Mayan mythology books. Oh, absolutely.
Seeing about reading a few of them because it was just really, really fun, like super cool.
Yeah. If you have any book recommendations, for sure, let us know.
Absolutely. Is The Wonderful Shirt still your favorite fairy tale of all time?
Is the wonderful shirt still your favorite fairy tale of all time?
That is a fantastic question.
And I think that the answer is yes.
Absolutely.
It is still my favorite fairy tale. I think it's because of the boss-ass dragon in it.
And I think that it's because just my my just general appreciation for
protagonists called ivan who get sort of buffeted about by fate and they just kind of accept all of
that pretty cheerfully and then he uh meets his ride or die girlfriend and i just i just love that for him. Let's kill them. Let's kill them.
And he's like, whoa.
I love the Ivan verse.
That has been one of my favorite parts.
I just want to take my stuff back.
I just want to get my shirt.
I just wanted to get my shirt back.
I like where your head's at.
Well, let's back up.
But I've definitely found like new ones that I love
and I am dismayed to discover just how many horses are killed in fairy tales.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, it has been just jaw dropping.
All the horse violence.
All the horse violence has truly been something else like unwarranted horse violence i don't understand
what norwegians had against horses for no reason
and it's not all norwegians too it's kind of like across
the cultures so far at least the european cultures
yeah i don't think i've seen a lot of horse violence in
like the more like asian countries or no not a lot of horses killed in those uh i haven't come
across any horse murder in my brazilian folk tales book for which i'm very grateful it really seems
to be europe that has something out for horses.
They were just very expendable.
Maybe.
I thought that horses were like a sign of great wealth because they're damned expensive to keep.
But whatever.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Oh, I keep thinking of more highlights.
Yeah, go for it.
I'm actually getting a tattoo designed around toads and diamonds.
Oh, awesome.
Because I love hate that story. I think like I love it because I want so archetypical of Western European fairy stories and the kinds of things that to strangers, especially if you're a femme-presenting person, then you will be, and I'm using air quotes here, rewarded with riches and with a king plucking you off the street and marrying you.
And that's your reward.
you off the street and marrying you. And that's your reward. And then if you're in any way obstinate, if you ask any questions, if you're rude to a rich person, if you are just in any way
unpleasant, then you are cursed with venomous creatures and sent off to the woods to die alone. And I hate all of that so much. Because I think that like, you know, ideally, you're able
to find sort of a balance of those things where like you were, it's of course, it's good to be
kind to strangers. Of course, it's good to be generous. Of course, it's good to be sweet,
and helpful. You know, those are all good traits to have, but it's also important to
stick up for yourself and not take anyone's shit and also realize that sometimes you don't have to,
you don't owe strangers kindness. You don't owe strangers anything, especially if they're making
like unreasonable demands of you. And I just, I don't know i just feel like there's some there's
a balance that needs to be struck there so i'm having um i'm having uh i'm getting like a full
sleeve fairy tale tattoo and part of the tattoo is going to be like a gemstone and a viper because
because both of those things are important and both of because both of those things are important. And both of those,
both of those women were important and both of them,
both of them,
I think deserved better.
Oh,
absolutely.
Yeah.
Her reward was not really a reward and no.
Yeah.
No,
I love the,
I love all the fairy tales where it's like this poor abused woman has just
like the worst life.
And as soon as a man or prince or anybody comes along, she's just like, yes, I will go with you right now.
Please take me away from here.
But not because I have any reason to want to go with you specifically.
It's that anywhere has to be better than here.
And yet that's so romanticized in these stories. Like that's,
that's the best case scenario. That's the goal. Like that's what you want.
You want, you want to, uh, you, you hope that somebody finds you in the woods and takes you out, whether you really want it or not.
I guess we'll get into more as we get into Sleeping Beauty.
But I completely renege on all of my ideals when it comes to how much I love the Sleeping Beauty movie.
Leave poor maidens in the woods alone.
Except don't if you're a handsome prince with a funny horse. All of a sudden, I toss all of that
out the window. All of my morals, they're gone. I love that movie so much.
I definitely have some thoughts on that. I'm not sure when you want to talk about the Disney movie,
but I definitely have thoughts on that. Yes, I'm sure both of us will have a lot of thoughts on that. I'm not sure when you want to talk about the Disney movie, but I definitely have. Yes, I'm sure both of us will have a lot of thoughts on it. The one that I'm starting off
with is what I think is one of the oldest versions of the story. I don't think it's the oldest
version of the story. I think I saw references to there being at least one version that's older
than this one. Definitely. Yeah. Which I think you told me that you were going to tell me about later.
But this is I think the one that is the most recognizable as the version that we know,
that we know today sort of in just our general Western culture. Yeah, I think that's a perfect
place to start. Yeah. So this is the Brothers Grimm version and the Brothers Grimm version is called Briar Rose. A king and a queen couldn't have children and they wanted very much to have
one. Then one day while the queen was bathing, a crab crawled out of the water, came on shore
and said, your wish will soon be filled and you will give birth to a daughter.
Amazing. I love it already. It's a strong start. Very strong start.
Of, well, there was a couple and they wish they could have kids,
but they couldn't. But then they could because a crab told them so.
Again, I'm just imagining this being told by a drunk guy at a tavern, like a drunk old man.
And there was a crab that said you would have a child.
For this story in particular,
I see it.
I see it as there's women weaving on a winter,
on a winter afternoon.
They've all gotten,
they've all gotten a little tipsy on like mulled wine or whatever.
And that sounds delightful. they're just making up this
story about a spindle indeed this is what happened and the king was so delighted by the birth of the
princess that he organized a great feast and also invited the fairies who were living in his realm
since he had only 12 golden plates however there was one fairy who had to be excluded for there were 13 in all.
That's a lot more fairies than the Disney version.
Yep.
That's a lot more fairies than the Disney version.
I love that they want to invite the fairies, though, because this is why people think fairies are good.
though because this is why people think fairies are good like but at the same time it's kind of a thin excuse of like oh well we we only have 12 golden plates so the third the 13th fairy the the
the mean one that nobody likes um she can't come because because of the plate issue nice so the
fairies come to the feast and at the end of the celebration they gave the child
some gifts one gave virtue the second beauty and the others gave every splendid thing that one
could possibly wish for in the world but just after the 11th fairy had announced her gift the
13th appeared and she was quite angry that she had not been invited to the festivities. Yeah, agreed.
Rude.
Agreed.
It was rude of them.
Super rude.
Especially since it's a plate thing.
I mean, just give the kindest fairy, the most understanding fairy,
a silver plate instead of nothing.
A silver plate instead.
Yes, exactly.
And tell them they're special because of it.
Oh, we got this one just for you.
What's the big deal like
well because i do remember reading some analysis of sleeping beauty ones that actually like the
wicked fairy in the story is 100 justified in the in well not like i mean not justified in the sense
that like killing babies is fine but but justified in the sense that like a christening feast for a royal child yeah is not
a private family event it is the social event of the season and you have to invite everyone
everyone even peasants yeah peasants are invited like and then but especially any like any you know
persons of note who live in your area um which the fairies are are we really to
believe that a king and queen don't have more than 12 golden plates like i don't believe that
so so it is it was a slight it was rude it was it was very rude by sort of the norms of the time. So yeah, the fact that she shows up pretty pissed off is kind of justified.
Fair. Maybe her reaction isn't justified.
No, I think she went a little overboard on the punishment that she felt was suitable.
That does sound like a fairy, though.
Yeah, that's what fairies do, which is why you err on the side of caution and you invite
all of them because fairies are like this.
Anyway, so the 13th fairy shows up and she's pretty mad that she wasn't invited.
Since you didn't ask me to this celebration, she cried out,
I say to you that when your daughter turns 15, she will prick herself with a spindle and fall down dead.
That sucks.
I know.
I know.
The parents were horrified, but the 12th fairy hadn't made her wish yet.
And she said, the girl will not die. She will fall into a deep sleep for 100 years.
Nice save.
Good save. Also very, I just imagine it like very Jedi mind trick,
like that she just waves her hand and says like, the girl will not die.
So in the Charles Pearl version, this is one of
the things I wanted to bring up because there were more fairies than I thought there would be.
In the Charles Peralt version, I love that. So there are seven fairies instead of 12.
Oh, okay.
Basically, one of the fairies realizes that this evil fairy is going to do something bad
because she just shows up again, like, you know, upset fairly that she wasn't invited, but she knows she's going to bestow upon her a gift.
So she actually hides behind some curtains, like purposefully hides herself to wait for the evil
fairy to like bestow upon her her evil gift. Ooh, because she knows that the evil fairy is
going to make like a dramatic entrance because she wants to be last. Yeah. So she like purposely hides back and is waiting for the evil fairy and then comes out and, you know, gives her the same, you know, that she'll sleep for 100 years and then a king's son will come to awaken her.
But I did want to talk about the other things that the fairies bestow upon her because I thought this was really interesting.
Does Peralt list them all? Yes. Because in because of the grim's version it's like they give her like
beauty or whatever and then the four and then the last fairy shows up and curses her yeah no they
go over each one and i think they're really funny cool okay go on and then i so the first one is
beauty which i feel like is really subjective and honestly pretty shallow but it specifically states that it was bestowed by the youngest fairy.
So I feel like that explains it a little bit.
And then the second fairy grants her temper of an angel,
which I feel like the angels are notoriously warriors too. i'm not really sure what that means i'm assuming
like she's very patient i think i think they i think they mean the temperament of an angel
and like yeah and yeah and and the angels are all like sweet cherub scents and not like the
like wheels of fire fire and brimstone angels.
But, oh, boo, I hate that.
You're not, like, I, I give you this gift of you're never allowed to be mad.
Uh-huh.
Just wait.
It gets, it gets worse.
The third gift is that she's graceful.
All right.
Like, nice.
Okay, fine. The fourth gift is that she's graceful all right like nice okay the fourth gift is that she can dance to
perfection does that not go with graceful i mean yeah that seems a little redundant
that she can dance to perfection the fifth gift is that she can sing well. She sings like a bird. And the sixth gift is she can
play every kind of music with the utmost skill. And I wrote in my notes, okay, I want this.
That's a good gift. I want that.
I actually like that. And then the spindle thing, and then instead of dying,
she'll sleep a hundred years and a king's son will come to awaken her.
And I was thinking about what I would want Varys to bestow upon me.
Oh, excellent.
And I wanted to ask you if you had seven things,
because I feel like those seven things were stupid.
Those seven things are awful. And they also remind me, I mean, I'm sure that like when
women cover Cinderella, we'll talk about Ella Enanted, I guess in a little more detail,
but that does remind me of the beginning of Ella enchanted where she,
where she gets,
you know,
blessed with obedience.
And that's what,
that's what the temperament of the angel one of an angel one reminds me
of.
Like,
I don't want any of that.
Thanks.
Here's what I want.
So I'm going to say mine.
If you want to go for it,
go for it.
Go for it.
Think about seven things. Like what would you want? Also? I'm just going to throw if you want to yeah yeah go for it go for it you want to think about seven things like what would you want
also I'm just going to throw this out there
to our listeners what seven things would you
want fairies to bestow upon you
because I feel like the fairies in Sleeping Beauty
just didn't get it right
so the first thing
except the first thing I wrote is I want the music
thing because I actually think that's awesome
the second I want the confidence of a middle-aged white man. The third, I would like the stamina of a zombie
apocalypse survivor. Ooh, yes. I feel like that would be so useful. The fourth one, so I had a
really hard time. At first I wrote, you know, patience is a good thing to have. But then I was
thinking about how like I'm older and I would really just like a steel
stomach because my stomach hurts all the time.
So that's what I would like.
Great.
Okay.
Five, I want zero mental illness to deal with.
That would be wonderful if I just didn't have depression or anxiety.
Six, I would like to breathe underwater
because I feel like that would be really useful and really cool.
Oh, man. All right. And seven, I thought about this for a long time,
like probably way too long. I also had a lot of wine when I was doing this.
I want the ability to grant happiness or despair to others at my whim for fun.
Oh, my God.
Those are all way cooler.
So fairies, get it together.
I don't want to be graceful.
I don't want to dance.
I don't care about beauty.
That's subjective.
We're already both gorgeous.
I mean, I didn't.
Neither of us needed any help
in that department. So those are all so fabulous. I also thought about them for a long time. So
I too would like the gift of song. I think the gift of song is a is a solid present.
Would like, I think, the guarantee of a healthy 100 years.
I think the guarantee of a healthy 100 years.
Oh, that's a great.
I would like to be relatively young for 100 years and then I can begin to age.
I don't want immortality
because I think that that gets messy and boring,
but I would like a nice long century of youth and beauty.
Good choice.
I like that.
Yeah, I think that one's a good choice.
If we're allowed to request magic powers, I would like teleportation, please.
Oh, that's better than breathing underwater. No, breathing underwater is a solid choice. I
like it a lot, but I would like to teleport. I feel like that would be more useful.
it a lot but i um i would like to teleport i feel like that would be more useful i would like to i would like to not have to breathe oh at all so that i could uh teleport myself to
different planets and you know really really see the universe hey maybe not be impacted by weather
yeah not be impacted i mean i guess i'd also have to like become like radiation proof because that's why we're five.
Basically, Abby wants to go into space with no problem.
I just want to go to space.
I actually don't want anything else.
Just want to go to space.
So that's five.
And then I think as my final gift.
Wait, you get seven.
So you have two more.
Oh, what?
Do I get two more?
Oh, okay.
That's right.
You get seven.
Because we're assuming that the evil fairy didn't show up to our party.
Oh, that's good.
Okay.
That's good because I don't want my hundred years of youth and beauty to be spent to sleep.
I want to be able to talk to animals.
I feel like that's asking for trouble, but I get it.
I get it.
I mean, I have seen like all possible versions of Dr. Doolittle.
So, you know, fully, fully agree that it probably is asking for trouble. I don't know if anybody that listens to this watches Rick and Morty, but like Morty gets this like thing that lets them hear animals talk to each other at least.
And it's really funny because the squirrels notice and like they're like, okay, little boy, can you hear us?
Can you hear us?
And then they like, I don't know, basically take over the world.
They have to move to a different dimension where their world wasn't like taken over by
I love those episodes where they have to just completely like that where they just they
just fuck up.
They destroy this.
They destroy this reality and they just have to leave.
That is really how I imagine talking to animals, how that would go.
Yeah, I'm going to amend my speak to animals one to speak any language. Oh, that's a
really good idea. Including dog. I would like to be able to speak dog so that I could tell Obi to
knock it the fuck off and he would understand me better. I actually think he understands me just
fine. He just doesn't care. Nah, you know what? I think I'm just going to leave my relationship
with Obi the way it is. I think he already understands me perfectly. He just doesn't want to listen, which is his right
as an autonomous individual, I suppose. I guess.
I guess. I'm having such a hard time thinking of like a seventh thing.
Oh, how about always having flawless hair?
That is such a good one.
Every day is a good hair day. I was like, what's beauty related?
But not like just kind of vaguely beauty. But yes, no. And that I shall always have a good hair day.
Yeah. These are the things that I want. If a fairy were to come to my birth and give me gifts.
That was fun. Thank you for doing that with
me i know that was a really long tangent we're only like two paragraphs into the story fun exercise i
liked well because we're doing two stories at once we're doing the grimm's version and the
peral version and talking about how they differ that's true yeah and i just thought that those
seven things or no i guess six things technically were just stupid.
Yeah, no, none of those are good presents.
I don't want any of those, especially the temper one.
Like, I will now dictate your personality at birth, and you're never allowed to be angry about anything ever.
I hate that.
Come on. According to some folklorists, why there are 13 fairies
and why one fairy is left out
in this story
is that it indicates
the replacement of the lunar year,
which is 13 months,
by the solar year,
which is 12.
Cool.
I like it.
If true, that is very cool.
That is cool.
Anyway, all of that happens.
The wicked fairy curses the infant
and the final 12th fairy finally says like the girl will not die she will fall into a deep sleep
for 100 years she does not mention anything about true love's kiss or a prince she just says
she will fall asleep for 100 years so the king still hoped to save his dear child and issued an order that all the spindles in
his entire kingdom were to be banned meanwhile the girl grew up and became marvelously beautiful
of course and on the day she turned 15 the king and queen had gone out
and she was left completely alone in the palace on this, her 15th birthday,
which the wicked fairy said would be the day that she would prick her finger and die.
But her parents decided that was a good day to go out, I guess.
Wait, so did she specify that it would be on her 15th birthday?
In the story?
Or did she say by the time she's 15?
It says when she turns 15.
So. Okay. I think she turns 15. So.
Okay.
I think that implies birthday.
Yeah.
I guess maybe they just like forgot.
15 years is a long time.
It is kind of.
Maybe they forgot the exact wording.
So the King and Queen went out and Briar Rose was left completely alone in the palace.
So she wandered all over the place just as she pleased and eventually came to
an old tower where she found a narrow staircase.
Since she was curious,
she climbed the stairs and came to a small door with a yellow key stuck in
the lock.
And when she turned it,
that music from the Disney film gives me nightmares.
It's very creepy.
It's so scary. It's so scary.
It's fantastic.
Since she was curious,
she climbed the stairs
and came to a small door
with a yellow key
stuck in the lock.
And when she turned it,
the door sprang open
and she found herself
in a little room
where she saw
an old woman spinning flax.
She took a great liking
to the old woman
and joked with her
and said she wanted
to try spinning one time.
So she took the spindle from the old woman's hand and no sooner did she touch it Oh, no.
Oh, no. And then that old woman feels terrible for the rest of her life.
Good job.
You killed the princess. Like, oh, my God, I killed the princess like oh my god i killed the princess
just at that moment the king returned to the palace with his entire courtly retinue
and everybody and everything began to fall asleep the horses in the stable the pigeons on the roof
the dogs in the courtyard and the flies on the. Even the fire flickering in the hearth became quiet and fell asleep. The roast stopped sizzling, and the cook, who was just about to pull the kitchen boy's hair, let him go, and the maid, who was plucking the feathers of a hen, let it drop and fell asleep.
A hedge of thorns sprouted around the entire castle and grew higher and higher until it was impossible to see the castle anymore.
There were princes who heard about the beautiful Briar Rose and they came and wanted to rescue her, but they couldn't penetrate the hedge.
It was as though the thorns clung tightly together like hands and the princes got stuck there and died miserable deaths.
Oh, geez.
I know. Oh, jeez. I know.
Oh, gosh.
Stupid prince.
Fools!
Idiots!
Idiots!
Goddamn.
Go on.
You're a disgrace to the You're a disgrace to
the forces of evil! That's the best line oh my god i swear to
god because they took a fairy tale which is cut which is like i don't know in the grim's version
is kind of like yeah whatever that it's a it's a typical fairy tale and they made it fucking iconic
because they made maleficent who is everything yep they really nailed it with that
one she just nails the melodrama oh just grace to the forces of evil so funny anyway so good
anyway we're we're with the we're with the princes they're trying to get through the hedge they
die miserable deaths in there because they can't and all of this continued for many many years
until one day a prince came riding through the country and an old man told him that people
believed that a castle was standing behind the hedge of thorns and that a gorgeous princess
was sleeping inside with her entire royal household. Dude, that would be such a dope legend to hear.
Like, yeah.
Like some, like just a legend that there's this like thorny Brambley forest and somebody's
like, yeah, there's a castle in there.
Like there's a castle in there.
I know.
Like, I do think that that, that, that's, that is really cool that, um, to be told that
story and to imagine that story.
Especially to a young prince with a sword.
I want to go off and die in the hedge.
So his grandfather had told him that many princes had come
and had wanted to get through the hedge.
However, they got stuck in the thorns and had died.
That doesn't scare me, says the prince.
I'm going to make my way through the hedge and rescue the
beautiful princess so off he goes and when he came to the hedge of thorns there was nothing
but flowers that separated and made a path for him and as he went through them the flowers turned
back into thorns he's special he's a special boy. He's the right one. Let the right one in.
Let the right one in, Thorn Hedge.
After he reached the castle, the horses were lying asleep in the courtyard and there was an assortment of hunting dogs.
The pigeons were perched on the roof and had tucked their heads beneath their wings.
When he entered the palace, the flies were sleeping, as was the fire in the
kitchen along with the cook and the maid. The prince continued walking and he saw the entire
royal household with the king and queen lying asleep. Everything was so quiet that he could
hear himself breathing. Finally, he came to the old tower where Briar Rose was lying asleep.
The prince was so astounded by her beauty that of course he leaned over and
kissed her.
Boo.
She's sleeping,
bro.
Leave her alone.
No,
shake her shoulder a little.
Damn.
Yeah.
Geez.
Make a loud noise.
Bang some parts together.
Then shoot your shot.
Then shoot your shot after she's awake.
Immediately after the kiss she woke up and the king and queen and the entire royal household and the horses and the dogs and the pigeons on the roof and the flies on the walls and the fire
woke up indeed the fire flared up and cooked the meat until it began to sizzle again and the cook
gave the kitchen boy a box on the air while the maid finished plucking the chicken then the wedding of the prince with briar rose was celebrated in great
splendor and they lived happily to the end of their days the end oh okay okay yeah so how
different is that from the peralt version so i mean it's pretty much the same except the story continues it does her alt version yes
and this is what makes me think that it was told by a drunken old man is the last half of the story
but i do the last half of the story yeah there's a little bit more so i might just read the rest
to you just read yeah tell me the rest of the story because they cut it short.
Yeah.
I think there are different versions of this.
So I found the Charles Peralt version by our good friends at Pittsburgh University at pit.edu.
And we will put that in our show notes.
Pittsburgh is really nailing it with having the fairy tale catalog available for free online.
That's pretty cool.
So huge shout out to the University of Pittsburgh.
Thank you.
So just a couple of highlighted things that in the story that you just told that are a little bit different that I really, really liked.
When the accident happens to the princess, you know, she finds a woman spinning and she asks if she wants to do it or if she could do it because it looks like so much fun and she gets pricked you know so after that happens to the princess the good fairy who that
had saved her life by condemning her to 100 years of sleep in the kingdom was 12 000 leagues away
and she was instantly warned of it however by a little dwarf who had a pair of seven league boots
which are boots that enable one to cover
seven leagues at a single step that is so cool which sounds adorable i'm imagining a dwarf
traveling seven leagues because of magic boots and the fairy set off at once within an hour
her chariot of fire drawn by dragons was seen approaching, which sounds awesome.
So she like comes and she's the one who makes everyone else sleep.
So it doesn't just happen automatically.
Makes so much more sense.
Yeah.
She sees what happens and she's like, oh, sleeping, you know, or I guess Bray Rose is asleep and she makes everyone else fall asleep too.
Because like that is one thing with the Grimm's version,
one of the reasons why I think it's kind of nothing,
is that there are so many plot holes
that get plugged in by the Peralt version.
Yeah, they definitely do.
So she makes everyone else fall asleep
because she's worried that she'll be really scared
if she wakes up alone.
She doesn't make the king and queen fall asleep.
They actually leave and live out their lives somewhere else, which I think is interesting because I imagine most parents would – I mean, if they could choose to fall asleep until their daughter wakes up, probably would.
Absolutely.
Because it's like you're asleep.
But maybe there needs to be someone to lead the kingdom.
I don't know. Their kingdom's covered in thorns now. So I don't...
Fair enough. I don't really know. But I also really love this really cute part that says,
and Little Puff, the pet dog of the princess who is lying on the bed beside his mistress.
Oh my God. Which I want to know why that isn't in any artwork or any. That's so cute.
Yeah.
A little puff.
Sweet Briar Rose's little dog.
She keeps her dog.
Isn't that so cute?
Oh, that's adorable.
And it says how the king and the queen kissed their dear child without waking her and left the castle forever, which I feel like is really sad.
Yeah, that's very sad.
So basically the same thing happens,
except it doesn't say how like princes die in this story.
It's basically like,
it just kind of becomes an urban legend.
Some people say that an ogre lives in the castle and people just kind of avoid
that area altogether.
But a prince was wondering,
so a prince has heard all these like stories about this,
you know, supposed castle and a peasant, an old peasant comes to him and tells him,
your highness, more than 50 years ago, I heard my father say that this castle lies a princess,
the most beautiful that has ever been seen. And it is her doomed to sleep there for a hundred years
and then to be awakened by a king's son. For who's coming, she waits.
50 years in, huh?
Like 50 years ago, his father told him this story.
Oh, so maybe now it's been like another 50 years.
Yeah.
And this peasant's like an old man.
Gotcha.
Okay.
So the prince gets like super fired up and excited.
And he, you know, goes in and saves the princess or whatever.
Or rather, he doesn't save the
princess so he it's actually just the time she's supposed to wake up and he just kind of arrives
and he doesn't actually kiss her yay so it says um that's so much less creepy yeah he basically
just kind of shows up and he's like like looking at her in awe and her beauty. And then she wakes up. So trembling in his admiration,
he drew near and went on his knees beside her.
At the same moment,
the hour of disenchantment having come,
the princess awoke and bestowed upon him a look more tender than a first
glance might seem to warrant.
So,
and she,
she says,
is it you dear prince?
You have been long in coming.
So it's like,
it seems a lot more romantic because
she just wakes up and she's really excited to see she's excited to see him like that's great
i mean but you know she was cursed to always be happy when the fairy grants her sleeping 100 years
it doesn't say this but she is supposed to be like dreaming pleasant dreams
that's really nice kind of an
unspoken thing that fairy godmother like was really really came in clutch oh absolutely really
looking after her really nailed it yeah so basically you know the prince is super excited
they get married they have kids but he doesn't actually tell his parents. So he doesn't tell the
king and the queen about this. And this is where the story gets really random. So I'm going to
continue the story because the Charles Perel version continues quite a bit after the Brothers
Grimm version ends. Wow. You think you know what Sleeping Beauty is about. And then. Yeah. And
then you go and it blows your mind and you're like, oh, so this is still a what the fuck fairy tale.
I love it.
I'm so excited.
Tell me.
Tell me the rest of the story.
So Sleeping Beauty wakes up.
Is it you, dear prince?
You have been long in coming.
Charmed by these words and especially by the manner in which they were said, the prince scarcely knew how to express his delight and gratification.
And he declared that he loved her better than he loved himself and his words were faltering but they pleased the more
for that the less there is of eloquence the more there is of love so it's just it's really romantic
that's so cute so a lot of times when you think sleeping beauty i always thought this part would
be like really weird like he's gonna like sexually harass her while she's sleeping or assault her while she's sleeping.
And that's just not the case in this story.
It's really romantic and actually gives me the feels a little bit.
I love that so much for them.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, right?
That's great. One thing I really love about this version also is that I love the idea of it's 100 years later.
You're in a castle or you're in a town, basically, where everyone's asleep and everything's 100 years old.
So it's really interesting when the princess awakens, the prince had to refrain from telling her that her clothes with a straight collar, which she wore, were like those of which his grandmother had been accustomed.
with a straight collar which she wore were like those of which his grandmother had been accustomed so but it doesn't detract from her beauty but he still notices that her clothes are really old like
it's so interesting really out of date yeah yeah can you imagine like waking up a hundred years and
how things are different just in fashion and probably you know like food style and just
i mean like probably what they're cooking in the castle.
I don't know any of the slang anymore.
Which changes from like decade to decade. So it's probably really different 100 years in the future.
Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot. But I like that he's like, I won't mention to her that she's really
out of fashion at this point. So basically, I think that kind of gets to him a little bit.
He just notices how all of these things have been sitting here for just 100 years,
which is really interesting, I thought.
Usually fairy tale characters don't notice things.
Yeah, exactly.
They don't really talk about that.
But Charles Perrault goes kind of into detail in it.
I'm excited.
That's great.
So the prince returns to the city and tells his father,
who was waiting for him with some anxiety, that he had lost himself while hunting in the forest.
But he obtains some black bread and cheese from a charcoal burner whose hovel he had passed in the night.
So basically, he goes back home, but he doesn't really tell his parents what happened.
He tells them a different story.
He lies.
And his father believes him, but his mother doesn't. And she notices that her son starts going out to hunt every day.
Huh.
And he always seems to have an excuse when he sleeps away from home for two or three nights.
He's just going to visit his girlfriend.
Going to visit his girlfriend.
That's interesting that he leaves her alone and doesn't like marry her immediately.
girlfriend. That's interesting that he leaves her alone and doesn't like marry her immediately.
Yeah. You know, I think he does marry her immediately. So two whole years pass.
Oh, okay. Since the marriage of the prince and the princess.
Okay. So maybe like they got married in the castle since like all of her attendants were also put to sleep. So she's just basically living in her town.
But he doesn't tell his parents, which I thought was really weird.
That is weird.
Why wouldn't he tell them?
Is he betrothed to someone else?
You're going to find out and you're going to love it.
Okay.
So like I said, two whole years passed after the marriage of the prince and the princess.
And during that time, they have two children.
The first, a daughter called Dawn.
And while the second, a boy was called Day because he seemed even more beautiful than his
sister.
Which cracks me up. Dawn and Day.
Cute.
So his mom, the queen,
keeps telling her son that he needs to settle
down in life and she tried to make
him confide in her but he didn't dare
trust her with a secret. Despite the
affection which he bore for her, he he didn't dare trust her with a secret. Despite the affection which he
bore for her, he was afraid of his mother, for she came of a race of ogres, and the king had
only married her for wealth. It's the tea. It's so hot. She's a fucking ogre. She's an ogress.
She's a fucking ogre.
She's an ogress.
I love it.
It's so good.
So he is genuinely worried for his children's safety because apparently- His mom is a literal ogress.
She has ogress instincts and-
Would eat his kids?
Yeah, she has difficulty and she has to keep to herself from pouncing on children.
So that's why he doesn't tell his
mom. And I love that this is just like- Does he have to be raised by like a nurse
far away from her because she would have eaten him?
So that makes him part ogre too.
It does, which is interesting.
So I have questions.
I mean, oh my God, where is the novel? I mean, I know that there is a very boring
novelization by Robin McKinley, but I don't think they covered this.
But this is my favorite.
I love it so much.
This is where the, like, drunk man in the tavern, oh, and he didn't tell his mom because she was an ogre.
Because she was an ogre.
A couple of years later, the king dies and the prince found himself on the throne.
So he ended up making a public announcement of his marriage.
And, you know, he had to come clean, essentially.
So I've actually been married for like a few years and have a couple of kids already.
Surprise.
Surprise.
The queen, obviously, you know, she is not a fan.
She doesn't – you know, I think she's also just upset that her son lied to her.
For how many years?
Like –
I guess at this point it's got to be like four years.
It has to have been at least four.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
The Dowager Queen, not thrilled.
She's pissed, and she also doesn't like children.
And an ogre.
She's an ogre.
It's so good.
So cool.
So she goes to the chief steward and tells him,
for my dinner tomorrow, I will eat Little Don.
And the steward obviously is horrified.
She's really going to eat the kids.
She's pissed.
And she loves children.
She's going to eat the kids.
She loves to eat children.
So she says, that is my will.
And she spoke in the tones of an ogre who longs for raw meat.
And she says, you will serve her, but with sauce.
Okay.
And so the poor man, seeing plainly that it was useless to trifle with an ogre.
It's useless to refuse to serve her her own grandchildren.
He goes up into Don's chamber.
And at that time she was
four years old. So, okay, yeah. Four years
later. Well, five years later.
And this is so sad.
And when she saw him, she came running with
a smile to greet him, flinging
her arms around his neck, coaxing him
to give her some sweets. And he burst into
tears and let the knife fall from his hands.
Oh, good. I was like,
why do they always gotta kill, they always from his hands. Oh, good. I was like, why do they always got to kill?
They always got to kill the girl children.
Like, yep.
So he doesn't.
Instead, he slaughters a young lamb.
And for this, he made a sauce so delicious that his mistress declared she had never eaten
anything so good.
What do they do with Dawn?
So basically, the chef like hides her.
Okay.
Like in his quarters or something.
Okay.
Man, the princess really is not a character in this story.
Is she?
Not really.
Okay.
At the same time, the steward carried little Dawn to his wife and bade the latter hide her in the quarters for which she had below the yard.
Okay.
So he's hiding Dawn.
below the yard. Okay. So he's hiding Dawn.
And then eight days later, the
Wicked Queen summoned her steward again and
says, for my supper, I will
eat Little Day.
And the steward made no answer,
being determined to trick her as he had done previously.
And he went in search
of Little Day, whom he found with a
tiny foil in his hand, making
brave passes. Oh, like he has like a
little fake sword. Like a little sword.
Yeah.
Like a little dueling sword.
And he was only three years old.
So he carries him to his wife, who stowed him away, hiding with little Dawn.
And to the ogress, he served up, in place of day, a young kid so tender that she found
it surpassingly delicious.
So he's totally tricking her and everything's going really well.
I think the steward's probably
feeling pretty proud of himself. Good job.
Tricking the queen.
But this time she says,
I have a mind to eat the
queen with the same sauce as you served
with her little children.
Go kill the queen for me.
Like no wonder her son was hiding his wife and his kids for so long.
I wonder why he didn't want to tell like the ultimate toxic parent about
his wife and children. This is why family estrangement is okay sometimes.
For sure. This time the steward is really scared that he's not going to be able to deceive her
again.
And the young queen was 20 years old without counting the hundred years she'd been asleep.
And her skin, the white and beautiful, had become a little tough and he was having trouble like deciding what animal that he could cook instead of her. So he's trying to think of ways
to deceive her. She's a little tough at the ripe old age of 20.
I guess technically 120.
Yeah, but like, you know.
So he thinks he's going to have to actually kill the queen and he goes upstairs to do it.
Goading himself into a rage, he drew his knife and entered the young queen's chamber.
Putting himself into a rage, he drew his knife and entered the young queen's chamber.
But a reluctance to give her no moment of grace made him repeat respectfully the command which he had received from the queen mother.
Hello, I am here to kill you and serve you to your mother-in-law for dinner.
And she's fucking awesome.
She is so scared for him.
So she yells, do it, do it. And she bears her neck to him.
Carry out the order you've been given.
And then once more, I shall see my children, my poor children that I love so much.
Because she has to have been wondering where her kids were for the past couple of weeks.
Yep.
So he comes clean and says that they have been hiding with his wife and that they're not dead.
And she is so excited about that.
And he is overcome with passion so he says you shall not die but you shall certainly see your children again and that will be in my quarters where i have hidden them he takes her
there and she embraces and weeps over her children and the cook proceeds to cook a hind with such an
art that the queen mother ate it for her supper with as much appetite as if it had been
the young queen.
So once again, he tricks her.
And the queen mother felt well satisfied
with her cruel deeds and planned to tell the king
on his return that savage wolves
had devoured his consort and his children.
And it was her habit, however,
to often prowl about the courts
and the alleys of the mansions
in hopes of scenting raw meat.
And one evening she heard the little boy Day crying in a basement cellar and the child was weeping because his mother had threatened to whip him for some naughtiness.
So jigs up.
She realizes that Dawn and Day and the young queen are all still alive.
The queen is absolutely enraged that she had been
tricked so the next morning in tones so frightening that all trembled she ordered a huge vat to be
brought to the middle of the courtyard and this she filled with vipers and toads snakes and
serpents of every kind intending to cast into it the queen and her children and the steward with his wife and serving girl oh my god
all aboard the murder train
so she big pissed oh god okay she has just terrible plans she brings all of them forward
with her hands tied behind their backs and there they were and her minions were making ready to cast them into the vat when who else but the king rides
into the courtyard no one had expected him so soon but he traveled post haste and filled with
amazement at the sight he demanded to know what this horrible spectacle meant and none dared tell him and at that moment the ogre your
mom is a monster literally she's literally a monster you should not have you knew that she
likes eating kids too you should not have left her unsupervised around your children never leave known predators alone with your kids you had it right the first time my
guy yes you should have kept them in separate castles miles apart so he's demanding to know
what the fuck is going on and nobody tells them because they're all super super scared of the
ogress the ogress enraged at what confronted her threw herself head foremost into the vat and was
devoured on the instant by the hideous creatures which she had placed in it good and the king could
not be sorry for after all she was his mother but it was not long before he found ample consolation in his beautiful wife and
children the end the end wow like wow there's a second half of sleeping beauty yeah and it's
that's why it makes me think of just this old drunk man and there was an ogre and she wanted
to eat like it's a totally different story that's a totally like that is
that is such a that is a hell of a part two why wasn't that in the disney movie
you know if you think about it you never meet prince philip's mother you only see
you don't that's true so someone needs to make the sequel maybe not disney there is also
like a poem that says moral at the end i don't and it rhymes in english so i don't know if this
is from charles perl but i'm gonna read it to you anyway okay all right many a girl has waited long
for a husband brave or strong but i'm sure I never met any sort of woman yet who
would wait a hundred years free from fretting, free from fears. Now our story seems to show
that a century or so, late or early matters not, true love comes by fairy lot. Some old folk will
even say it grows better by delay, yet this good advice fear, helps us neither there nor here. Though philosophers may
prate, how much wiser tis to wait. Maidens will be a sighing still. Young blood must when young
blood will. Wow, I hate that. I hate everything about that. Is that medieval abstinence only like teaching I don't know I
think it's so funny old folks say it grows better by delay they're like yeah but that doesn't help
but those silly girls will sigh about boys anyway when honestly it'd be better if they just like
waited a hot like some some girl's dad wrote that
i don't know i just thought that was really funny it made me laugh i also hated it
that has very you're not allowed to date energy or like marry as soon as you can right now. Right now. Oh, what don't I want to fix about that story?
I like it so much better with the second half. Me too. I'm not going to lie. I was laughing so
hard when I read that. That is really what I wanted. Yeah, that is so much more fun than
the Grimm's version. Not only just because it's just more detailed in every way, but also there's a whole second half of that story.
But man, I've got some opinions about the way it took place.
We already discussed the gifts were crap.
Yeah.
Change the gifts.
Those sucked.
They were sexist and just very old fashioned.
Yeah.
And controlling of the kind of person the fairies thought she should be.
Hated that.
Hated that the king moved his wife and children in with his like child predator mom.
And then like left.
No. I love that his mother was an ogress yes just and we didn't find out about this until later yeah until the story like like well now it's important so yes
just so you know she's an ogress and she does like eating kids that was really interesting
that was like that was wild i love that he doesn't kiss her
to wake her up he's just kind of there and she wakes up because he's there like his presence
i think so i also wonder because was it the hundred years thing or was it a combination
i think it was just like that was just the entire destiny like that was the prophecy
that the fairy made and so he showed up it's been 100 years and it just kind of worked out worked
out okay almost and then she almost got killed but that was a that was an entirely different story
you think you know the story and then that. That's great.
So there is another version called The Sun, Moon, and Talia. And basically, it's a really
old version. I just kind of found this on Wikipedia. I'm not going to go over the whole
thing. Trigger warning, this is the darkest version I've read for sure.
Because it's the oldest, I bet.
I also want to thank other podcasts that
have covered Sleeping Beauty and have mentioned this. So another great podcast if you want to
learn more about Sleeping Beauty and the history is the Damsel Dialogues. They're great. They go
over all of the history of Sleeping Beauty in a lot of detail and they do a really great job.
And I know the fairy tellers also have a Sleeping Beauty episode. I started to listen to it and I know the fairy tellers also have a Sleeping Beauty episode. I started to listen to it and I absolutely loved it,
but I was worried that I would end up copying some of the things they would say
and I didn't want to ruin the grim version for myself.
So I kind of stopped myself, but definitely check them out.
That's the Damsel Dialogues and the Fairy Tellers.
They're another fairy tale style podcast that are just fantastic.
And they tend to go into like a little bit more of like an actual analysis of the story itself.
Yeah.
More analytical and more history.
So definitely check them out.
So this version, the Sun, Moon, and Talia, again, trigger warning, sexual assault.
Gotcha.
Okay.
So basically in Sun, Moon, and Talia, the Sleeping Beauty is named Talia, again, trigger warning, sexual assault. Gotcha. Okay. So basically in Sun, Moon, and Talia, the Sleeping Beauty is named Talia.
And in this story, instead of pricking her finger on a spindle, she gets a flax seed stuck under her fingernail.
And that puts her to sleep.
Okay.
And in this deep sleep, basically another king who is already married finds her in the woods.
And she's so beautiful that he decides.
I love how Wikipedia puts this.
And gathers the first fruits of love, which when you click on it, takes you to a link for rape.
Yep.
So, okay.
I love Wikipedia.
I love Wikipedia. I love that.
Thank you for the extremely gentle euphemism for assaulting a sleeping woman.
He finds Talia alive but unconscious and gathers the first fruits of love.
Ew.
So basically, he rapes her.
He leaves.
He goes back to his kingdom and forgets about her.
And turns out Talia gets-
Sure, who would remember?
Yeah, you know, whatever.
It's an everyday occurrence for that guy, probably.
Talia ends up pregnant with twins, and she gives birth to twins. And when they're trying to
suckle her, they end up suckling her fingers. And one of them actually suckles the flaxseed
out from under her fingernail.
Okay.
So she wakes up, and she suddenly has two kids.
Yes.
So she wakes up, realizes she has kids.
I mean, I guess she goes and kind of does her thing.
And the king comes back and tells her what happened, and they fall in love.
Do they?
Because, of course.
Even though he has another queen already. This just keeps getting
worse. So fucked up. So basically the king's acting really shady and his worst wife hears
him saying Talia sun and moon in his sleep. And she's really suspicious and she bribes the king's
secretary to kind of tell her what's going on. And after the queen learns the truth, then the Charles Perrault version kind of comes in again,
where she basically wants to see. So she basically, as the king, quote unquote,
writes to Talia and says she wants to see his children. And she says she wants to eat the children and you know the chef does the same thing where he
tricks her and makes makes up a lamb instead of the kids and the queen is totally satisfied in
feeding the king what he thinks is his children or what he thinks like she tells them she tells
him that these are his kids and she's feeding them to him or? She doesn't tell him at first and he mentions how good his meal is
and she says, eat, eat, you are eating your own.
And I don't know if he gets it.
Wow, everyone in the story is awful.
Uh-huh.
And he just thinks she's being weird.
And then later the queen invites Tali to the kingdom
and is planning on burning her alive.
But the king finds out her plan
and finds out what's
going on with his children and everything and then orders that his wife be burned along with those who
betrayed him and that's kind of where the story ends and the the king and talia live happily ever
after great oh basically i see a lot of similarities
in like the Charles Perrault version at the end with that.
Yeah.
You can kind of see where he got the ogress part
of the story.
I guess the Grimm's,
I guess the Brothers Grimm just decided to like just chop.
Or perhaps Perrault kind of combined
the Brothers Grimm story with this story.
He took the bits that he liked from both those stories and did a remix.
Yep.
A pretty fantastic remix.
Agreed.
Of the two stories.
This first one is just horrifying.
Is it from the same region?
Gian Battista Basile, who is an Italian poet from the 15 and 1600s.
I hate him.
I hope that he stubbed his toe a lot for writing that story.
It's fucked up.
Just horrifying. Wherever he is now, I hope it's fucked up just wherever wherever he is now i hope it's i hope it's uncomfortable
gathers the first fruits of love i just i hate that you and i were booing a kiss
yeah which i guess doesn't seem that bad by comparison anymore yeah it is absolutely
horrifying or worse.
Yeah.
And if you want, if you do want to hear that story told a little bit more in depth, definitely
check out the damsel dialogues because I think they did a really great job.
Cool.
I don't need to hear it more depth, but good for them.
Yeah, that story fucking sucked.
But Charles Perel really nailed it.
Yeah. Charles Perel had the superior remix of that story fucking sucked but charles perot really nailed it yeah charles perot uh had the superior remix of that story remix um i you know actually
so maybe we can talk about my favorite version yeah absolutely please erase sun moon and talia
from my like immediate thoughts so abby and I decided to watch The Curse of Sleeping Beauty together.
Nevermind.
This was the superior.
We watched it together.
It has a rating on International Movie Database of like 4.3 out of 10.
Which it deserves.
And on Rotten Tomato, it has literally one star.
It was slightly better than one star like this
this so Kelsey and I were researching different versions of Sleeping Beauty like different
adaptations different retellings and we didn't want to do like only the Disney related stuff
so we we ended up deciding to watch uh this movie The Cur of sleeping beauty which it is a 2016 film
and we watched it on amazon even though we don't like amazon you can also watch it on youtube
yeah you can you can youtube it uh it was a like if you go in to watching this movie with zero expectations the way we did like we thought
it was going to be awful um it was actually like a pleasantly surprising fun take on the sleeping
beauty story i almost i almost don't want to talk about it too much. Spoil it too much. Yeah. Basically, we went in with zero
expectations. So we were talking the whole time and had a lot of fun with it. And it's kind of
like a modern retelling. It's like Sleeping Beauty is still asleep in modern times. And there's a man
who's like desperately connected to her. They never explicitly said this in the movie,
but I assume that he was part of like the Prince family who was supposed to wake her up.
And he's basically just so connected to her and he's like being drawn to her in dreams and things
like that. Yeah. She's haunting his dreams and trying to guide him towards where he can wake
her up. It's absolutely beautiful. The cinematography is gorgeous and the
outfits. The outfits are good. The effects are surprisingly good for such a low budget movie
because this is a very indie horror adventure. The film feels like a fairy tale as reimagined
by the staff of your local Hot Topic. Yes, it's exactly it.
And it was a good time.
I guess like my only expectation setting for that one though,
is that like, and a disclaimer, I suppose,
is there is a lot of like very culturally appropriative
mishmashing of Jewish and Islamic mythology.
Smashed in there alongside the Sleeping Beauty retelling,
which was weird and interesting.
Super weird.
Super weird, but everybody in that movie is super hot.
It's surprisingly fun to watch.
Gorgeous.
Like, everyone in that movie was just hot.
Super hot.
It was distracting.
A little distracting. It was a little distracting. They do some
interesting stuff with like mannequins. Yep. That is super creepy and really fun. And I recommend
it actually. We thought it was really fun, but we were talking about how bad it was. And it's one of
those movies that like the more I think about it, the more I love it. And that is my actual fix for Sleeping Beauty.
I love that twist so much.
I love their spin on it.
That is how I would fix Sleeping Beauty.
So I guess you have to watch it.
Yeah.
Because I don't want to spoil it.
So you have to watch it to find out my fix.
I kind of want to spoil it.
I do too.
Should we just spoil it?
Fast forward the next like couple minutes if you don't want to know the ending and you plan on watching the movie.
But essentially, Sleeping Beauty is actually like an ancient demon and his bloodline has been tasked with keeping this demon asleep so that it can't destroy the world.
with keeping this demon asleep so that it can't destroy the world. And this beautiful idiot man battles the wicked fairy with his beautiful
idiot friends.
Yeah.
And the wicked fairy turns out to be someone who has been trying to
essentially stop the apocalypse from happening.
And then they bring it about because he goes and he kisses Sleeping Beauty.
He wakes her up.
She's like, thanks, babe.
And then she kills him,
kills all his friends
and then like proceeds to destroy the world.
And it is so great.
It's absolutely incredible.
It's like the perfect fairy tale twist.
Although, I mean, I feel like the modern setting was a little strange.
But damn, it was so good.
Like, I love that.
I love that take.
It was a great.
Yeah, I thought that was a great take on Sleeping Beauty.
So that was a fun one.
So that was a fun one.
I really wanted to give a shout out to our good friend Nick or Gemini underscore artist 2000.
Nick on Instagram for sending us like a ton of Sleeping Beauty stuff that I watched over
the weekend.
It was really fun.
So he sent like a 1990 Japanese stop motion.
I think that was just called Sleeping Beauty.
But it was really cool.
It was from the seventies and it was absolutely going to haunt my nightmares.
Um,
cause stop motion is terrifying.
I love that.
Yeah.
Well,
it wasn't supposed to be like scary,
but it was just like early,
you know,
stop motion.
So it was just creepy.
Like not on purpose.
Yep.
But it has like,
so I think the creepiest part was,
you know, everything's stop motion
so it's all made of clay
and things like that
but they had like this perfect little baby doll
that was supposed to be Aurora as a baby
and it was fine until it started moving
and then it really freaked me out.
Oh no.
The evil fairy in that, her name was carabas and carabas was an icon she is amazing she has an eye patch and also in that
version she actually does get invited but a carrier pigeon drops her invite so she thinks
that she's not invited oh i like christening The story is absolving the king and queen of their rudeness.
Absolutely.
Wow.
And she makes a fucking entrance and she's an icon.
Just like our Disney Maleficent,
which we haven't even really talked about the Disney version either.
But yeah, I definitely wanted to thank Nick
for sending us a bunch of great recommendations.
Thank you all again so much for listening to Fairytale Fix.
If you love the show and want to support us, you can get extra episodes, merch, books,
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You can find us on Twitter and instagram at fairy tale fix pod
and please please oh please uh keep in touch email us your favorite fairy tales folklore
nursery rhymes and other such things at info at fairy tale fix pod.com and i had so many fixes
for all possible versions of sleeping beauty but i think my favorite one and the one that I'm really going to stick with
is Fairy Godmothers
Give
Kids Better Gifts.
Yes.
The fairies gave Sleeping
Beauty gifts that were
not beauty and
niceness. They gave her
something cooler.
They gave her something way cooler
like breathing underwater
and teleportation.
Yeah.
And definitely read the Charles Peral version.
And they all lived
happily ever
after. The end.