Fairy Tale Fix - 5: Silly Bear, That’s On You

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

Kelsey tells the strangely unsatisfying tale of Buttercup / Butterball / Butterbuck (or better still, Smørbukk) by the Norwegian fairy tale collectors Peter Christen Asbjørnsen and Jørgen Moe, while Abby covers TWO animal folk tales, Why Is The Bear Stumpy Tailed (another tale from Asbjørnsen and Moe) and Elephant And Hare, a story from the Massai people in Kenya and northern Tanzania.

Hi, this is Kelsey and Abby with Fairytale Fix. We're kicking off our November Fantastic Fun Drive and Cahoots with our podcast network, Fantastic Worlds Productions. So making this podcast is absolutely a dream come true for us. We've literally been talking about doing this for two years at this point, and it's incredibly fun to make. But did you know that it's also really expensive to make podcasts? That's right. Our website upkeep, hosting fees, audio equipment, editing software, and just our time really add up when it comes to keeping this thing going. As our producer says, it pays in the negative bucks.

Dustin does say that a lot. That's why we pay you the no bucks. Justin does say that a lot. That's why we pay you the no bucks. So we could really use your help with it. But it's not for nothing. If you join up, you get extra content like extra episodes. We'll also be releasing our original pilot, some other behind the scenes type stuff. Shout outs to people who join at our producer level.

Cool swag, probably with my cat hair on it. Yep. All starting at $3 per month. You have to pay extra for the cat hair at the cat hair tier. Or Abby's dog hair tier. Or you can have some of Obie's hair. You know, for anyone who joins at one of the higher tiers, I will sprinkle some of Obie's hair on top of your shipment just so you can feel extra good about it. Also, extra incentive for this month, every person who signs up for our Patreon from now until the end of November will get entered to win a gorgeous, illustrated, complete first edition copy of the original Folk and Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm in addition to some podcast swag. This book is gorgeous. And the swag is dope.

Yep. Gorgeous book. Dope swag. swag this book is gorgeous and the swag is dope yep gorgeous book dope swag and all you have to do is pay us like a cup of coffee a month to get all of this stuff we've got some great patreon content coming for you this month so follow us on instagram twitter and facebook for updates and check out all of our patreon perks at fairytalefix.cash goodbye goodbye enjoy the show and thank you and they lived happily ever after the end give us that gold baby feelings are the worst i know i hate them and yet i have so many. So many. So many feelings. I mentioned this last episode that I had started this movie on Netflix called Aramantari, The Blacksmith and the Devil. Yes. It's a Basque film, and i finished it the other week and it is

so good okay um highly recommend so it's in basque so you have to read subtitles um it reminds me a lot of like a funner version of pan's labyrinth oh good okay so just less dark but still contains still kind of dark some of the fairy tale elements of it just without you know without making you want to cry and scream and without giving too much away there's a really cool part in the movie where someone drops a jar of chickpeas on purpose so a demon has to stop and count them all which i thought was really cool because i've never heard that but like you know how um i've heard like fairies have to stop whatever they're doing if you drop a bunch of sugar and they have to count every grain.

Yeah, because I've heard that. And then I think they also do. I think that's also in the original Cinderella, where she has to pick lentils out of the ashes of the fireplace before she can go to the ball. I think that's in the original Cinderella. And then also reminds me of Into the Woods when they can't let the beans fall on the ground otherwise it'll build another

beanstalk so like you know the witch is throwing them willy-nilly everybody's like screaming and scrambling to find them it was amazing it was so good so i highly recommend you will watch that on okay what's it called again it was so much much fun. And also really funny. Like there were some really funny parts that were... Funny is good. I was like cracking up. My husband's sitting next to me and he's like not laughing at all. I'm like, you just don't get it. It's very much like theater kid humor. Yes. I love theater kid humor. So I feel like you're going to love it.

Yes, I absolutely will. And that's good good i'm glad it's funny because one thing that never comes to mind when i think about the movie pan's labyrinth is funny and laughing yeah but it has that same fantasy world i don't know it's just kind of dark but it's so beautifully done i love it it was so good all right and it's a basque folktale and it's on netflix perfect yeah i will watch it definitely do it has kind of a slow start uh which is why i didn't finish it right away but um once i got into the story more it was such a treat so good highly recommend you have a hard time sitting through movies anyway i do yeah i'm not like a movie watcher it's always a struggle to get you through even if you're enjoying the. It's always a struggle to get you through. Even if you're

enjoying the story, it's always a struggle to get you through like the last 45 minutes of a movie because you just you just start squirming and you want to talk like this is so long. I think part of the problem with you is that you also have already predicted a good portion of how the ending of the movie is going to go which you're you're always right you've always you always thank you which believe me as someone that shows you movies then you're like oh is this gonna happen i'm like no yes i'm much better at predicting movies than you are fairy tales. I'm halfway through than I am fairy tales. I didn't predict the ending for Aramentari, so. Well, good.

I'm glad that they were able to dupe you because ordinarily you are undupeable and it's very frustrating. So Thanksgiving is this week. I had a question based on that. What is the best fairy tale food i feel like fairy tales generally have a lot of the same kind of foods apples pies pumpkin soup porridge sure but you want to know the first thing that immediately came to mind sugar windows oh my god besides that because ultimately ultimately like a can account a house made of candy is the ultimate fairy tale food absolutely but the first thing that came to mind actually was that scene from hook where all of the lost boys are scarfing down this huge feast

yeah it's like all imaginary yeah but it's all imaginary and that is that is immediately what came to mind when you when you said fairy tale food i'm like oh that's such a good scene that's and it's and it's all like i haven't seen that movie in a while but it's like colorful and weird looking yeah it's not like real food it doesn't look like real food at all because they imagined it and it's i'm pretty sure all it was all plastic anyway because it looks very plasticky and it's all bright colors and they get in a food fight where they throw brightly colored food at each other and then robin williams's grown-up peter pan character learns to laugh and be a kid again and it's a great scene it is that's one of the only movies

that makes me cry a little bit. It's always like very makes me sad, not sad, but wistful nostalgia. Well, and that's another thing. It's very difficult to get you to cry at movies. You know, that one doesn't really will be watching something really heartfelt or really heartbreaking. And I will be sitting on the couch next to Kelsey, just an absolute mess, trying to trying to hide it in my sleeve so that she doesn't notice and make fun of me. And she'll just be a rock. Because I do. I look over and I'm like, ha ha ha, pathetic.

You do, though. Oh, gosh. Yeah. The only other movie I can think of that really makes me cry, which is stupid, is 13 Going on 30. I don't know why, but that one scene where Jennifer Garner, right? She's like. Yes, it is Jennifer Garner. Crying about, I think it's sympathetic crying. She gets all sad and like she messed up her whole life. And I'm just like, this is so sad. Really? And I don't even really like that movie that much.

That's what gets you? Every time that scene, it like makes me like sad. That this is so sad. Really? And I don't even really like that movie that much. That's what gets you? Every time that scene, it makes me sad. That movie is so stupid. It's so stupid. But that's the one that gets, it's fine. I know. It's odd. The thing is, that scene also makes me cry.

But I cry at literally everything. Everything. The smallest provocation. If anybody on a TV screen is having a feeling, I will also have that feeling and we will cry together. Even if it's stupid. And even if the acting is bad. Even if the writing is so cheesy, it makes you want to go throw up. If there's feelings in it, I'm going to start crying.

But yes, Thanksgiving is this week yeah do you have any plans for thanksgiving yeah do you do you like thanksgiving i'm such a holiday person i love thanksgiving because i get to cook and drink and be hygge i think thanksgiving must be my it's my least favorite holiday I just can't muster any excitement about Thanksgiving I don't like the food isn't that exciting to me I just I don't like turkey I think green beans are okay you should try cooking a turkey that's what I like to do why would I do that when I don't like turkey you could put I've seen people where they take hot cheetos and they crush them up and put them on top like they crust the turkey with hot Cheetos. I would like the turkey more if it was covered in hot Cheetos.

I really want to try that. Like so bad. Well, you're Miss Thanksgiving. Yeah. Like your family comes to your house for Thanksgiving because you're just the Thanksgiving queen in your. It's the hygge factor. I like food and cooking that takes a long time and that's difficult and then it brings all your family together and also i'm drinking wine all day from

like 9 a.m until 10 p.m it's true with my family eating good food and it's so much fun it's like a weird chaos that i just really enjoy. Yeah, absolutely. I totally, totally get that. That's more of a, in my family, that's much more of a Christmas Eve thing. So I'll get excited come the winter. Yeah, see, we don't do Christmas Eve that way in my family because we just have so many families to go to. So it's kind of Christmas is always a little bit. I like leading up to that holiday more than I like the actual holiday. Right, because it gets so busy. Yeah. This is my favorite season in Baltimore,

especially. So it's just it's just really pleasant. It's just really pleasant in the fall here. So I'm just it's not so cold yet cold yet that I need to be cranking my radiator 24-7 and all the leaves have changed color. And it's just such a pleasant place to do fall. All the mosquitoes are gone, which means that I can actually enjoy being outside. So I just want to say Thanksgiving, not my favorite holiday. But man, November is one of the best months ever. I agree. November in Chico is also just really beautiful.

All of Bidwell Park is all orange and red and it's finally cooled. Yes. So nice. But anyway, let's crack into it. Are you going first this time or am I? Yeah, I'll go first. I think mine's a little bit longer. Plus, I have some fun

history to talk about that I didn't know. So this week's fairy tale I chose from the book you gave me, East of the Sun and West of the Moon. Oh, I have one from that too. Oh, that's so funny. That's awesome. Okay. So the translation is by George Webb Descent and the stories are from Peter Christen, Abjonsen and Jorgen Moe. Yeah. I also looked up how to pronounce this. Right. I was like, Asbjonsen. Asbjonsen. All right. I got it. Asbjonsen.

Jorgen. Asbjonsen. Jorgen and Britsen Moe. I chose Buttercup. Okay. Which I will let you know is also, I think in Norwegian, it's smerbuk. Smerbuk. And the actual translation is butterbuck or butterball.

I like the turkey. I know, right? Is that why you picked it because this is the thanksgiving week episode honestly no i just randomly opened it i i opened that book when i was playing a game and uh while i was playing the dark and light game okay which is which looks amazing if you guys like like open world fantasy games. Caveat, open world fantasy survival game. Yes. Yeah.

It's so much fun. But I just randomly opened it while I was doing something on that game. And it was just perfect for Thanksgiving. So, but I'm trying to see what I want to tell you without giving too much away. Oh, by the way, smirrbuk in Norwegian is also a cream caramel candy and a comic strip. So I love smirrbuk way better than buttercup. Smirrbuk. Yeah, that's fun to say.

It is fun to say. Smirrbuk. I love Norwegian words. As Bjansson. Oh, gosh. I love Norwegian words. Asbjørnsen. Oh, gosh. But yeah, so basically, before I get too into the fairy tale, before I let you make your predictions. So according to Wikipedia, Peter, Kristen, Asbjørnsen, and Jorgen Moe were longtime friends who published a volume of Norwegian folktales in 1841. And the folktales were especially popular at the time

because of Norway's newly won partial independence and there was a wave of nationalism sweeping over the country. Oh, okay. So it's basically the Norwegian Brothers Grimm. They did the same kind of, they have the same kind of methodology. Yeah.

Not exactly the same, but they collected folktales and kind of created retold versions seeking to reconstruct the lost original forms of the fairy tales. That's so cool. And I didn't even know they existed.

I've heard of the Brothers Grimm, but I've never heard of Asbjørnsson and Mo. They're really popular in Norway. And the Brothers Grimm, you know, it was around the same time, so they highly praised their work same time. So they highly

praised their work. Really? So they got great recommendations from other collectors of stories. Yes. That's so great. Just getting their local oral traditions put down in a collection. Yes. I thought that was so cool. That is really cool. I have never heard of them. And it was really neat, like learning about them. I'm glad they did because now we can read them. Yeah. And this one was really good. Also, I think it's I think the nationalism is an interesting note, too, of using, you

know, that this is a good time to collect all of these stories to kind of intensify our like a shared a shared sense of culture. Yes, definitely. Or it might hurt a lot depending on how the nationalism in question is put to use but anyway but as i've mentioned a thousand times i'm danish yes and i really love anything uh scandinavian so norway is also very close to my heart so i really love this history it was really cool learning about that and also saying the names asbjornson smithbook okay so you want me to make three predictions for smithbook yes okay aka butterball aka butterbuck aka buttercup

i like that it has so many names i am going to say that Buttercup is probably a lady a human lady okay because prediction one that's my brain immediately went to the princess bride princess buttercup princess buttercup I don't think she's a princess I think she is I think she's a beautiful commoner maiden is that a second prediction I don't know is that part of your first prediction or I think i think it's two i think i think it's about oh i think it's about a woman named buttercup who is a peasant person and buttercup i feel like those two are really obvious i really want to go out there for prediction number three okay if i just keep guessing goblins eventually there will be goblins

yes that's not my prediction i'm not gonna it's not just gonna be just goblins eventually there will be goblins yes that's not my prediction i'm not gonna it's not just gonna be just goblins you're not gonna go that far out on a limb and say there's goblins but i feel like i've guessed goblins like the past three times and it still hasn't happened and i really want goblins maybe a different fairy tale creature yeahs. Man, I love a good troll story. Me too. All right. Buttercup, she's a peasant lady, and she encounters a troll. Okay. Well, I am going to now tell you the story of Buttercup. Okay. Please tell me. I'm very excited. This is such a good story.

So once upon a time, there was a wife who sat and baked. Now, you must know that this story definitely isn't about that wife but is about her son who is so plump and fat and so fond of good things hey who isn't uh-huh but they called him buttercup damn it see this oh man you know what i was wrong i should have taken my inspiration from the fact that it is called butterball and they just made it Buttercup. I know. I think Butterball would have been a better name for him. Yes. But yes. Okay. Buttercup. There's Buttercup and he likes eating, which is the same. Yep. He loves to eat. He's a fat, plump little boy that they call Buttercup. You should call me Buttercup. Such a nice name. Or Smearbook. I prefer that. But we'll go with Buttercup. Such a nice name. Or Smearbook. Or Smearbook. I prefer that. We'll go with Buttercup.

I totally had the same feeling, though. When I read Buttercup, I was like, maybe this will be a nice fairy tale about a princess. Because I've been kind of reading some that are just like really odd. A little horrifying. Well, it is not about a princess named Buttercup. So I was in the same vein as you when I first read this. They also had a little dog that they called gold tooth which is a great name for a dog that is a great name for a dog

also makes me think of a pirate dog yeah that would be a great name for a pirate dog no pirates in this story i'm sorry either you are gonna get your revenge on me with a pirate story someday so why doesn't the mother have a name but the dog dog does? So Buttercup has a name. Goldtooth has a name. Why does the woman never have a name? Women are unimportant, Kelsey. I bet you can guess my first fix for this fairy tale. That's going to be our fix for, I think, 90% of the fairy tales that we read. I think so, too.

So one day while the mother was baking, Goldtooth began to bark. And she asked Buttercup to look outside to see what all the barking was about so buttercup looks outside he comes back in and cries oh heaven help us here comes a great big witch with her head under her arm and a bag at her back okay and there is an illustration in this book of oh my god the witch holding her head under her arm and it's it's so crazy it's so creepy looking oh my god so i'm just assuming fairy tale witches can just have their heads and limbs come off whenever they can in norway yeah it was the same with baba yaga wasn't it like her limbs were like oh yeah she was just kind of scattered all over her house that's true i love this i love this running theme so far i've got a whole thing

we that we should talk about a different time maybe it just maybe in a separate conversation but just about the cultural drift of how so many of these like european stories end up with the same themes yeah similar elements anyway but that's a different story we definitely need to talk about so there's a dog there's a witch with her head under her arm coming down the street. And the humans can understand the dog. I want to post the artwork onto our Instagram so you guys can see it. Okay. And the artwork is by Theodore Kittleson.

So I'm excited to show you because it's really cool. So anyway, the mother yells to Buttercup, jump under the kneading trough and hide yourself. So the witch comes into the house, which rude, and says, good day. Isn't your Buttercup at home today? And the mother replies that no, he isn't. He's out in the wood with his father shooting ptarmigan. Getting abandoned.

Which is a type of bird, and I didn't know that. Ptarmigan? Ptarmigan. Did you look up what kind of bird that was? It does. It kind of looks like a pheasant oh okay game bird tasty bird um okay oh my gosh so the witch says plague take it which i love that phrase and want to start using it and she says far had such a nice little silver knife i wanted

to give him pip pip here i am says Buttercup as he climbs out from under the kneading trough. Oh my gosh. I am so old and stiff in the back says the witch. You must creep into the bag

and fetch it out for yourself. Don't do it Butterball. Do you think Buttercup is going to get into that bag? Yes because that's what you do.

Yes he does because he loves the finer things. So as soon as Buttercup climbs into the bag the old witch throws it over her shoulder and strides off toward her home does the does his mom do anything about that no she does not yeah that's in my notes that's actually the next line in my notes is why did the mother just let her take buttercup what about the dog yeah yeah neither the mom or the dog did i did anything because I'm also just thinking about if someone had shown up at my house and put me in a sack and tried to carry me away, you know, my mom would have killed herself.

Yeah. What a useless guard dog, Goldtooth. I know. And a useless mom. Just, okay, well, bye. Well, I guess he's an idiot. I'll make another one. Well, after all, just wait.

Okay. All right. Just wait. i'm waiting so well after a while of traveling the old witch gets tired and asks buttercup how far is it off to snoring and buttercup answers half a mile so the witch lays the bag down to take a snooze and while the witch is napping buttercup finds the knife and cuts a hole in the sack to escape he puts a large tree root into the sack to take his place and runs home to his mother. So there was a knife in there.

She wasn't lying. There was a knife in there. There was a knife. So she wasn't lying. So when the witch gets home and sees there's a root and no buttercup in her bag, well, it puts her into a fine rage. Sure. I mean, you know. The next day, the old wife is baking again,

and Goldtooth starts barking. And she tells Buttercup to go see what Goldtooth is barking at, and Buttercup goes to see. And he runs back in and tells his mother, Well, I never. If there isn't that ugly old beast coming again with her head under her arm and a great sack at her back. So the mother tells Buttercup to hide under the kneading trough,

and the old hag comes in and asks, Good day the mother tells Buttercup to hide under the kneading trough. The old hag comes in and asks, good day. Is your Buttercup at home today? And the mother replies with the same lie. I'm sorry, he isn't. He's out shooting ptarmigan with his mother. Sure. No, I'm sorry, Bam. You tried to kidnap my son yesterday. So I know that's what she says. and do you think his father's really out shooting tarmigan i don't know they didn't mention that he even lives there you know i don't is he in the picture i don't know i'd like to think yes but he's actually he's out there somewhere shooting doing some hunting doing stuff doing dad stuff fairy tale dad stuff what a bore says the hag here i have a beautiful little silver spoon

I wanted to give him. And out pops Buttercup from the kneading trough. Pip pip, here I am! And crawls into her sack again to get the spoon. Buttercup! This kid is not very smart. You did it again! But he's living his life and enjoys

the finer things. She got you again with the same trick, Buttercup. I know. What were you thinking was going to happen? So once again, the old hag throws the sack over her shoulder and carries Buttercup toward her home. And about halfway there, she asks, how far is it off to snoring? Which I guess the town is called Snoring. Which is fun.

Yeah. And Buttercup replies about a mile and a half so the old witch sets the sack down to take another nap. And the witch isn't very smart either. Yeah, well, because, you know, I think we all know how this goes.

Because while she sleeps Buttercup once again makes a hole in the sack and places a stone into it. You shocked me. So when the witch gets home she makes a great fire on the hearth and sets a big pot on it to get everything ready to boil Buttercup.

But when she takes the sack and dumps it into the pot, a great stone plops down and puts a hole into the bottom of her pot. And now she is pissed. She's real pissed. I would be too. So the third day, everything goes just as it had before.

Goldtooth begins to bark and Buttercup sees the witch and hides under the kneading trough. Good day. Is your Buttercup home today? Again, casual like she hasn't been there the past two days, like trying to capture her son. Right? Why does the mom keep letting her in? Great voice by the way thank you i practiced i'm not good at doing voices but she's gotta have a voice so the mother replies you're very kind to ask after him but he's out shooting tom again with his father what a a bore. Here, I have such a beautiful

silver fork for him. And Buttercup obviously needs that complete set. He does. So out pops Buttercup. Pip, pip, here I am. And he crawls into her sack once more for his prize.

But this time, the witch sets off as fast as she can and she goes straight home with Buttercup still in the sack. Good. Okay. So at least she learned. Fool me once.

Fool me twice. The old hag says to her daughter when she gets home, Now you must take Buttercup and kill him and boil him nicely till I come back. For I'm off to church to beg my guest to dinner. She's off to church? I know. I love that she's off to church. She's off to church?

The church of Satan? Maybe. Or I mean, no, but honestly, okay, so Brett, I really get a kick out of it. The thing is like the church of Satan is full of very nice people. I kind of really adore the idea of like this old witch spends her weekdays trying to capture children to eat. And then she puts on her best frock and then she goes and she attends mass and she's like hey you want to come over and have some buttercup for dinner

and have some buttercup for dinner wow okay the daughter isn't sure how to kill buttercup and luckily he offers her some assistance i'll show you how to do it just lay your head on the chopping block you'll soon see and the poor silly thing lays her head down and buttercup takes an axe and chops off her head as if she'd been a chicken then he takes her head and lays it in the bed and takes her body and puts it in the pot and boils it so nicely after he's done this he climbs up on the roof with the great root and the great stone that he had tricked the witch with before. Well, when the old witch and her dinner guests

come home from church and see the daughter's head lying in bed, well, they just think she's asleep. So the hag goes to taste the boiled buttercup. And she says, Goodbye my troth, buttercup broth. And down from the chimney, Buttercup calls,

Goodbye, my troth, daughter broth. But no one hears him. Oh, no. So the witch's husband, who was just as bad as she is. Of course. Because they're a team. Takes the spoon to have a taste. And he says, Goodbye, goodbye my troth buttercup broth

and buttercup once more calls down the chimney goodbye my troth daughter broth so they hear him that time and everyone all the dinner guests are wondering who's sitting on the roof speaking down the chimney so they go outside to see and buttercup throws the large root and stone down breaking all of their heads to bits and then he steals all of the gold and silver in the house and goes home to his mother a rich man and lives happily ever after Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I know it ends so abruptly and violently. Yes, it really does. I kind of love it, though. I am glad that they never had to actually really know that they ate their daughter.

You know, Buttercup was merciful. Yeah. Oh, my God. In that sense so with this story i'm like obviously this tale is about not trusting strangers but i also hate that he's rewarded at the end for being such a greedy little monster yeah and for being just as murderous as the witch who was planning on killing him right it's not awful because i feel like there's also i read this i was just like what the fuck there's a bit of a mixed message too you know of sure don't trust strangers but also be very polite when they tell you to get in their sack you know if a witch swoops

up your son in front of you and stuffs him in a sack and then starts carrying him down the road it would be it would be pretty gauche to chase her down the street is there anyone worse than fairy tale no there really isn't really lucky we don't have she's like oh well if he's gonna go he's gonna go you know you have to let them go sometime that is a wonderful story that was very good sm. A.K.A. Butterball. That's amazing. My fix is definitely that Buttercup just gets boiled and eaten by the coven of witches for being such a gullible, greedy little monster. I mean, maybe it's the villain's sympathizer in me, but I hate that just gets like rewarded for not listening to his mom being fooled by the witch three times yeah no no edits i uh i totally agree with you i think that he should have just gotten eaten because he got fooled by the witch three times and she did not

get fooled a third time she brought him all the way home she didn't stop to take a nap the third time which means that she is the winner and deserves to eat this child absolutely and the poor daughter what did she do she was also gullible and stupid here just rest your head on this chopping block i'll show you how everybody's gullible and stupid except for witty greedy children oh goodness amazing oh buttercup yeah i uh i got uh i got nothing i guess i guess the only the only other thing that i would fix about that story is hey lady that needs a name of some kind just gonna let the witch uh walk out walk out of your house with your son in a bag like three times just gonna let that witch take your son just gonna let that happen aren't we not no no comment maybe she didn't like buttercup very much she's like that kind of sucks

honestly maybe she was kind of hoping this would happen anyway that was a fun one i liked that i'm excited to read more stories from asbjornson that's such a hard one to say, but I've been practicing a lot. Yeah. Oh, God, it's so good. You're welcome. Oh, yeah, and your predictions,

I think were all wrong. Oh, they're all wrong. Except for that it wasn't a princess, it was like a peasant. Does that count? Yeah, I said that Buttercup would be a peasant person. I'll give you that one.

I don't think they sound like peasants though they don't sound like not peasants because he steals all the witch's gold that's true and then he went home a rich man okay yes then i say rags to riches i say that he was a peasant and i will take my point i want to know about this witch church. Yeah, what church is she going to? I want more backstory on this. And also I want more backstory on the witches and their limbs coming off. Yes, need to know about that. And carrying their heads around. Actually, this story is really similar to one of the other Baba Yaga stories that I considered reading instead. Last episode, it's about a young boy who gets captured by Baba Yaga,

and she brings him to her house. And then she asks her daughters to cook him. She leaves on an errand, and then he kills her daughters, and then kills her. Jeez. So violent. Super violent. There's so much murder in this, I guess. But a really similar story.

I need to figure out. I lost our points earlier. So I need to listen back through all of them and see how many points we actually have. Add those up. Just so that we can know who's winning because I feel like it's important to know who's winning. I want to know who's winning too because I feel like it's going to be me. I think that's, yeah, that would make sense because you guessed like literally everything gonna be me I think it's yeah that would make that would make sense because you guessed like literally everything else it's hard to guess I think we're gonna get better at it but it's hard to guess from just the name of the story yeah especially like as we start

I'm very excited to make you guess from mine that I've got yes I don't even know what fairy tale you're reading I always tell you mine like early in advance because I'm so excited. I always pick mine the day of. So they're often a surprise. What tale are you reading me today? So today, I'm reading you two. Yay. Two of them. So today, the first one that I'm reading is also from East of the Sun, West of the Moon by George Webb Dissent, whatever, and then originally committed to the written word by Peter S. Bjonson and Jorgen Engbretson Moe. Yes.

I have all of that spelled out phonetically in my notes. By the way, I also read on Wikipedia that Peter and Jorgen really highly praised the translation by George Webb. Oh, they said it was good? Or decent. Yeah, they really thought it was like really well done. So I thought that was kind of interesting. That's excellent. That's good to know because I was actually looking into it a little more of like, is this actually like well regarded, this translation?

So I guess it was. They gave it high praise. That's good to know because as neither of us speak Norwegian or is Norwegian the language in addition to the. I think it is. I think Norwegian is its own language. is its own language in fact um this book the writings of the fairy tales that peter and jorgen did actually contributed to the norwegian language really i didn't read too much about that but um like i didn't get too into it but yeah that was part of why it was so highly regarded and why people loved that the story so much and it's considered just such a huge cultural importance okay in norwegian history

isn't that cool really cool yeah we'll have to read more about that but i read i just you know i read the wikipedia pages that's where i've been getting all of my notes by the way you should definitely donate to wikipedia yes it's such a a remember back when we were in like high school and all of our teachers told us not to use Wikipedia as a primary source. Yeah. Wikipedia is amazing. It really is. So yeah, go donate

a dollar, please. Yes. I actually I donate to their little fundraiser, to their fundraiser every year because I use Wikipedia so much. And now I'm using it even more. But that's really cool. I didn't know that they contributed to the language.

Yeah. Something like that. If you know more, tweet at us at FairytaleFixPod. Send us an email at info at FairytaleFixPod.com. Please feel free to educate us about Norwegian. Are you a folklorist? Are you Norwegian? Do you know about Asbjørnsen and Mo?

Are we really annoying you right now? Please tell us. Yeah, are we? Please tweet at us and let us know. Yeah, we want to hear from you. But anyway, I am going to give you a bit more of a hint than usual. Okay. For the next two, just because I want to say that both of the stories that I picked are on a theme.

I really wanted to do some animal folklore this week. I was on a tear. I was reading a bunch of animal-related folklore. So I want you to give me three predictions for the first story. Why is the bear stumpy-tailed? What's the name of the tail? Why is the bear stumpy-tailed? What's the name of the tail? Why is the bear stumpy-tailed? That's really the name of it?

Yeah, it's just a question. Oh, because something bit it off. That's your prediction? Yes. You're looking at me like it's definitely wrong. That's what you're going with, huh? Yeah, yeah. Okay, do you have any more predictions you'd like to add? I'm going to guess

i get three predictions right you know this story is so short that i'm actually only going to give you two two okay why is the bear a stumpy tail i'm gonna guess that the bear is stumpy tailed because not something bit it off i'm gonna go with something about a fairy okay it's a cursed okay so the tail got cursed off yeah i'm just gonna go with that one prediction it's too much okay your prediction is the tail it's not that the tail got bit off is that it got cursed off yes okay why is this so difficult i hate making predictions it's one of my favorite parts okay so this one is so short that i'm actually just going to read it in its entirety i started to take notes and then i was like this is stupid i'm just gonna read it it's two paragraphs long

a nice okay so one day the bear met the fox who came slinking along with a string of fish he had stolen. Whence did you get those from? asked the bear. Oh, my lord Bruin, I've been out fishing and caught them, said the fox. So the bear had a mind to learn to fish too, and bade the fox tell him how he was to set about it. Oh, it's an easy craft for you, answered the fox, and soon learnt. You've only got to go upon the ice and cut a hole

and stick your tail down into it, and so you must go on holding it there as long as you can. You're not to mind if your tail smarts a little. That's when the fish bite. The longer you hold it, the more fish you'll get,

and then all at once out with it with a cross pull sideways and a strong pull at that damn i think my first prediction was right there's more okay yes the bear did as the fox had said and held his tail a long long time down in the hole till it was fast frozen in then he pulled it out with the crossbow and it snapped short off oh no the poor bear that's why bruin goes about with a stumpy tail to this very day that's amazing so all the biopredictions like neither of them that's totally like that's totally something that like grandparents would be telling me I was just about to say, this sounds exactly like the kind of shit grandma makes up when kids ask her a question she doesn't know the answer to.

Yes, exactly. Oh my gosh, I love that so much. You know, a fox tricked the bear into sticking his tail in a fishing hole and he yanked it out and now the tail's gone. So that's the answer to your question, Kit, about why the bear's tails look like that. That's perfect. I know. I love that so, so, so much. I really do love stories like that where, you know, kids ask silly, like just simple questions and then like grandparents or parents come up with like these wild tales to explain things just to mess with them. Yeah, this is a really good example of the kind of thing we really want our listeners to write in and tell us about.

If your grandparents told you anything that was fucking nuts. Yep. In response to a really simple question. It wasn't like a great story that my great aunt told me, but I remember asking her a dumb question question about like why are these rocks on the sidewalk rocks and landscaping so a few of these rocks had gone on to the sidewalk and I asked her why are those rocks on the sidewalk like what a dumb question she answered me and she was like well I think somebody probably just got really mad and kicked him off and I remember her answering that like I think about it now and it was just like a cute answer that is a really cute something that's such a dumb question that she could easily have just said

i don't know and kept moving but instead it was right i bet someone got really angry i just kicked him off every time i drive past that area where those rocks are i always think about that oh wait do you have a fix for that because i think yeah yeah no no that was pretty great um i think the bear got what he deserved and i think that the fox does what foxes do because they're you know foxes are often a you know the trickster animal in european and a lot of east asian folklore so you know if you listen to what the fox says you're gonna say thank you thank you i was waiting if you listen to if you listen to the fox you're going to suffer the consequences and i feel like every everyone knows this if you're an animal in a european folkt. Silly bear. Should have known better. That's on you.

Oh, goodness. Okay, so here's my next one. This one is called Elephant and Hare. And it's a folktale from the Maasai people. So for those of you who don't know what the Maasai people are, I had to look it up too, but they're an ethnic group

inhabiting northern, central, and southern Kenya and northern Tanzania. I am reading the English translation, naturally, because I don't speak Maasai, or Swahili, or French, or any of the 10 languages that these people probably speak, because they're better than me. So I'm reading the English translation. It's from a folktale anthology called Fearless Girls, Wise Women and Beloved Sisters, which was edited and put together by Kathleen Reagan. It's an anthology of folk and fairy tales from around the world that feature women in a prominent role. They usually have names. Yeah, that's awesome. This book sounds amazing. They're usually doing something that's a little more involved than getting kidnapped by handsome kings out in the woods.

Not that that's bad. And I fully respect the princesses that that has happened to. But you won't find too many of these in this book, which is why I really like it a lot. So three predictions, Kelsey, for elephant and hare. I feel like they probably get into some sort of competition with each other. It also could be that the elephant is scared of the hare. Because elephants are usually scared of small creatures. And I'm also going to guess they help a beautiful maiden. Help a beautiful maiden. Okay.

Okay. So help a beautiful maiden. Elephant is scared of the hare. They enter into a competition with each other. Some sort of competition. Listen up, because away we go. Oh, I'm listening. I'm ready. So there was once a herd of elephants who went to gather honey to take to their in-laws.

As they were walking along, they came upon Hare, who was just about to cross the river. And she asks one of the elephants to help her get across, which he agrees to because he's super nice. And he lets her sit on his back. And I like to imagine that he scooped her up with his trunk to deposit her on his back.

Absolutely. That sounds adorable. So she's up there on Father Elephant's back and she notices, oh, hey, he's got two full bags of honey up here. That's fun. And she promptly starts eating all the honey in the first bag. Rude. Very rude.

That's just. That's not her honey. The tip of the iceberg with this hair. When she's done, she asks Father Elephant for a stone to play with, which he obligingly trunks up to her and she plops it in the empty honey bag. Do you want to guess what she does then, Kelsey? I'm gonna guess she eats more honey. That's a really good guess. She starts eating all of the honey from the second bag and when she's finished she asks for another stone this time saying that she wants to throw it at the birds in the area and she keeps asking for

rocks until both bags are full tricky little hair keeps giving them to her he's like okay she gonna get hers we'll see wow we'll see so she asks to get put down at this point she sees that the elephants are almost at their in-laws place and she bounds off on her merry way and soon after that father elephant finally thinks to check his bags and lo and behold they're filled with stones he goes what yanks his head up he's looking all around and it must have been pretty soon after they dropped hair off because they can still see her bounding away off in the distance. And they dash off after her. And they actually catch up pretty quick.

I guess they are elephants. And if elephants are running somewhere, like, it's got to be one of those. The startup speed is probably pretty slow once you get some momentum going. I bet they're pretty fast. I bet so. And they're big. And they're huge. And hairs are small.

Even a small step, they're pretty fast. I bet so. And they're big, so. And hairs are small. Even a small step, they go very quickly. So just as they're about to grab her, because they've caught up to her pretty fast, and again, I imagine it has something to do

with trunks, just like, that's the noise that trunks make. Abby's also flailing her arm wildly like it's a trunk. She'd probably be like,

I'm just going to try to attach it to my nose and flail it around. Anyway, just as they're about to grab her, she dives into a hole, but not before one elephant gets a hold of her tail. And this is super weird and gross, but the book says that the skin from her tail peels off. What the fuck? Oh, no. What the fuck? What the fuck oh no what the fuck okay just skin tail right off just like the poor bear from the first story it is a what the fuck fairy tale yeah this is what we do

it's our bread and butter we don't make up the rules no anyway uh the skin from her tail gets peeled right off and then another elephant gets her leg and she cries, oh, you have hold of a root, mistaking it for me. And so he lets go of her leg

and then goes back in to try to get her, but now he really actually does get hold of a root on his next try. And Hare pretends to shriek with pain and yells oh you have broken my leg and while he's struggling with the root she manages to maneuver her way out of the hole and scamper off as fast as her legs can carry her right around the time that father elephant triumphantly just pulls up the root. He's all, God damn it, because he's holding a root and not a hare. And off in the distance, leaping and jumping over bushes and such is hare. And the chase is on

once more. So hare passes by some herdsmen, which cattle presumably, because this is a Maasai story, and yells to them, hey hey you guys see that elephant over there he's running this way because he's after you so you better run too she's very it's very quick she's very quick she's a fast talker and she continues on

and the herdsmen dash off elephant sees the herdsmen running and he catches up to them because he thinks that they're also chasing the hare. Because in elephant's mind, that hare is super fucking annoying. So what would anybody else be doing with their day than trying to get this hare? He runs up to the herdsman and he says, hey, have you seen a hare with a skinned tail around? To which they say, dude, you already passed her because hare had used that time to run off in a totally different direction. And she's already on to chatting up some women sewing outside their they say, dude, you already passed her because Hare had used that time to run off in a totally different direction. And she's already on to chatting up some women sewing outside their

homes and have told them the same things that she told the herdsmen. The women naturally fearing for their lives because an elephant stampede is about to come through their village, scatter and race for the safety of each of their houses. Elephant soon catches up with them too. And he says, hey, you respectable ladies. That's literally what it says in the book is he calls them respectable ladies. I love that. Which I love.

Hey, you respectable ladies, might you have seen a hare with a skinned tail coming this way? And they all point behind him and say, there she goes. Over there. And hare, you know, there she goes over there and hair you know there she is she's bounding and leaping over the grass over the land and she next comes hmm i want to know what the elephant's gonna do when he gets her like what the honey's already gone dude i know she already ate it what are you

gonna do to the hare? Revenge! I don't know what, like, he must have some kind of plan. I'm sure he has a plan. So hare next comes upon some grazing antelopes. And she tells them that the elephant is coming for them. And they scatter and run away and are soon caught up by father elephant and they once again point out to him after being asked if they've seen if they've seen a skinned tailed hair running by that hair is already running away in the opposite direction and you know he chases after her once more finally hair comes up upon a group of other hairs and she tells them hey you see that elephant over there? You should all skin your tails right now because he's only after hares with unskinned tails. Nice.

And it was at this point in the story, Kelsey, that I was thinking like, well, they're not obviously they're not going to do that because that sounds like it would hurt. And that's how Father Elephant is going to catch Hare and punish her for eating all of the honey. But no, no, that's not what happens at all. You should all skin your tails, for he is after those hares with unskinned tails. Thereupon, all the hares quickly skinned their tails. I don't know how.

I don't know why. I don't know the logistics. Ouch. That seems like it would hurt a lot. Those poor hares. But at the same moment that all of them finish skinning their tails, the elephant arrives and asks them, hey, you hairs, have you seen a hair with a skinned tail going towards this direction? The hairs replied, don't you see that all of our tails are skinned? And as the hair said this, they were displaying their tails confident it would please elephant.

On noticing that all the hair's tails were skinned elephant realized that hair had played a trick on him elephant could not find the culprit for all hairs look alike and there ends the story the end and no one lived happily ever after because everybody's either got a skinned tail or they're out some honey ah geez well that was a little dissatisfying. How would you fix that story, Abby? Kind of depends. Ultimately, because and this is, I guess, possibly my Western brain coming into it, but kind of being like, what? She lied and she ate all his honey. Like, shouldn't shouldn't she be punished somehow? But I did a little reading to kind of try to figure out what the moral of the story is supposed to be. And what I figure out what the moral of the story is supposed

to be and what I read was that the moral of the story is you can get away with pretty much anything if you're clever enough and you run fast and that's the intended lesson I feel like that's a poor lesson story so it might be my western brain also but that seems it's okay as long as you're clever and fast. You can do whatever you want. So there's one element where I kind of enjoy that she got one over on him and came up with this clever plan.

I think that I would like for Father Elephant to catch her and get her by the scruff of her little hair neck and take her back to the honeybee hives where they were collecting all this honey and have her refill those bags. And then maybe she can go. Put her to work.

Put her to work to replace the honey that she stole. But I do sort of like it this way, too. Mostly what I want is I want answers about the skinning their tails thing. I want that to not happen. I don't like it i want them i like maybe she should have rolled in mud or something i don't know but unless skinning their tails just means like yanking all the hair off of their tails probably i hope you made me want to look at pictures of hairs and they're so cute. Oh, hairs are adorable. Just like the fox is a big

trickster character in European traditions and coyote is a really big trickster character in Southwest Native American traditions. Hare is a Maasai trickster spirit. Like she, like

anytime they're telling a trickster story, they talk about Hare. I do love telling a trickster story they they talk about her i do love a good trickster story but i do feel really bad for father elephant me too because he also seems like a nice guy and his in-laws he's just like he's chilling he's taking a gift to his in-laws he's a very responsible father and husband and he you know he's super nice to all of the people that he meets very polite yeah he you know just wants to teach hair a lesson. That's all. That was a very cute story. I love animal

folktales. Me too. And I love trickster animal folktales. But I do like it better when the trickster gets out hot foxed themselves. Right? Poor Mr. Elephant. I'm sure he gets his honey eventually. Can we go get that honey? Yeah, I mean he probably just has to go get it back himself, which also sucks.

But anyway, that's elephant and hare and why is the bear a stubby tail? Perfect. Perfect stories. Thank you. Thank you. I enjoyed those thoroughly. I thought it was time we did an animal story. Yes, I agree.

Also, these two have had really similar elements, which is they both involve like an animal with like a bit of its tail getting ripped off. They both in a smaller trickster animal pulling one over on a larger animal. Yeah. And one is Messiah and one is Norwegian. Two vastly different regions of the earth and a kind of a similar sort of story. Going back to the why is the bear stubby tailed? We were talking about how Fox is a devious and tricky animal in most European folktales. So maybe it's bear's fault that his tail got stumped off because he was stupid enough to believe anything that Fox said. Since Hare is also a known trickster animal in Maasai culture. Isn't it also a little bit on Father Elephant for

trusting her back up there with his honey bags? Absolutely. Never trust a hare or a fox. Good lessons for all of us. These are the true morals of the two fables that I just told. I love them. All right. We needed a good animal folktale in there. There's so many more where that came from. I've got some good spider shit. I love some spiders. For a different day. Our next fairy tale fix is going to be really special.

So you guys definitely want to look out for this. Should we tell them? I think so. Absolutely. Because for once, I actually planned it early. So I think that we should tell them? Yeah, I think so. Absolutely. Because for once I actually planned it early. So I think that we should tell them. So drum roll. So the next fairy tale fix that comes out is going to be on December 8th. We have a very special episode. Abby, do you want to tell them

what you're going to talk about? It's going to be about just one story. And I am very excited about it. So on Tuesday, December 8th, we're going to be talking about Mulan. We're going to be doing the original Chinese ballad and we're going to probably read that in full because it's pretty short. And then we are also going to discuss the 90s Disney cartoon. And then we're also going to discuss the live action remake, because I believe that it becomes free to watch on Disney Plus in a non premium way that weekend. And so if you are interested in watching it so that you can sort of follow along more with our discussion, maybe talk to us about it, maybe give us your impressions to give us some other stuff to talk about, please, please do so because i've already been seeing some stuff about some opinions yeah i have too and i'm really excited to watch it and

have my own opinions and we're going to talk about that yeah i'm super excited to watch it i i recently watched the 90s cartoon and it's you know it's just so much fun it's such a classic so much fun it's super charming and then i've heard and i'm honestly not a big fan of disney live action remakes but i am excited to watch this one i think it's really cool that they decided to change it up i think i kind of like that idea because i i don't like when it's just a an exact remake with live action actors i I feel like that's a little boring. And they never do it right. So I'm excited. Yeah, when they just do it a frame for frame.

Yeah. Because then you're just kind of disappointed. We'll talk about Aladdin, but I was really disappointed in that because it was just really a little lackluster. They tried to make it too similar and it was just disappointing. You can't redo 90s classics.

So I'm excited. I hope Milan's just a different, more original story. I've heard that it's pretty different, both from the 90s animated cartoon version, and then it's also pretty different from the actual ballad. I'm excited to see what they did and decide how I feel about that. I've read a couple of articles about other people who have already decided how I feel about that. I've read a couple of articles about other people who have already decided how they feel about that. Yeah, tell us how you feel about it. Definitely tweeted us at fairytalefixpod and email us. Let us know what you think. And yeah, if you have already seen it and have opinions. So that's gonna do it for us on this episode of fairy tale fix. Thank you so much for listening to us. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

You can also find us on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find us on Twitter and Instagram at fairy tale fix pod if you want to follow our social media to see all of the cool art that we have been discovering along the way that references these folktales we've been telling. And you can also please email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, nursery rhymes, weird stuff your grandparents told you, etc., etc. at info at fairytalefixpod.com. And Buttercup gets boiled and eaten by the coven of witches

for being such a gullible, greedy fool and not listening to his mother who told him to hide. His mother, who has a name, his father, Goldtooth, and the family of witches lived happily ever after. And Elephant and Bear learned that you shouldn't trust noted trickster animals in your community just because they told you a thing. And they lived happily ever after. Maybe we should just say the end. The end.

The end.