Fairy Tale Fix - 9: The Devil Episode

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

This week’s episode is filled with Devils and Bad Siblings...coincidence? Kelsey retells the daring tale of the Devil in the Green Coat, also known as Bearskin or Bärenhäuter from the Brothers Grimm, while Abbie tells us Why The Sea Is Salt from Asbjørnsen and Moe, a tale we guarantee you’ll want to retell to your family & friends.

So a giant glass of wine for Kelsey. Giant glass of champagne for me. Good job, Kelsey. Good job, Kelsey. so abby and i were arguing about the worst months of the year yeah did we agree on january we disagree on january january is not the worst month of the year. Yeah. Did we agree on January? We disagree on January. January is not the worst month of the year. Although January is a contender. Oh, what was yours? I don't like January either. I hate March. I really hate March. Why do you hate March? March is the time when I'm really over being cold, but it's still cold where I live anyway, not so much in Chico. But March, I have come to loathe because it is still cold. It is still windy. It is still

impossible to be outside with any degree of comfort. And it's been this way for months. And I'm done. I'm over it. I want spring now. March in Chico is when it finally starts to get warmer. It's just like really windy, but everything's also like super green. So it's really pretty. So I don't mind March so much. Plus there's a St. Patrick's day and my dad's birthday is in March and my family and I always get together and do like a St. Patrick's day, And my family and I always get together and do like a St. Patrick's Day, dad's birthday, get together. Not last year. So last year was the beginning of the pandemic.

Yes. That is another good reason to hate March now. Terrible anniversaries. It's very sad. So I don't usually hate March. But January, as soon as Christmas is over, I don't want it to be cold anymore. I'm over the cold. It stops feeling festive and now it's just annoying. Exactly. Now it's not a gimmicky experience. Or you can be like, it's cold, it's Christmas,

and you have like a hot drink and cute little hats, cute little scarves. And then also December is just the beginning of winter. So it's not as cold as it's going to get. Yeah, that's true. It's festively cold. And then you hit January and now it's terrible. I'm very much over this weather already. I'm not drinking a giant glass of wine. I am drinking tea with caffeine in it because it's nighttime at seven. And I hate that because as soon as the sun goes down, I get so tired. My body's like, well, sun's down. It's dark. It's time for bed. It's not time for bed. I'm a big girl. I don't have a bedtime. I can stay awake if I want, body. Well, should we just go ahead

and get started? Let's just get straight into it. This one is from The Brothers Grimm. I actually used it from that amazing book, the original Folk and Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm. In that version of the Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales, it's called The Devil in the Green Coat. Brothers fairy tales. It's called The Devil in the Green Coat. Ooh. I know. I was like, ooh, a devil story for Abby. Finally. I think I've guessed the devil's going to be in it three times. You can't guess that now.

Damn it. Now you just know. But you might know it. Let me know. Okay. So it's also called in the later version, the book that i have from the grim fairy tale it's called bearskin or baron hauter if you're german baron hauter no i don't think i've heard this one okay this does not sound familiar and i'm very excited okay i couldn't find a lot of history on it um but it's awesome So what are your three predictions for the devil in the green coat or bearskin? I'm going to guess that there is a beautiful young maiden who the devil is hoping to whisk away to hell to marry. I am going to guess that someone uses the

bare skin to disguise themselves. My third prediction is... Yes. Yes. My third prediction is that hell is a literal place underground. I'll take it.

Okay. I like those. those okay there once were three brothers and the two eldest always pushed the younger brother around when they grew old enough they decided to go out into the world and told the younger brother we don't need you you can go off wandering by yourself oh which how very sibling okay yes no that tracks that's very also where is their mother doesn't matter in a later version of the story the younger brother is a soldier out of his luck and was also cast away by his brothers so i'm gonna kind of tell you both stories there's not too much difference but the differences are interesting. Yeah, absolutely. I really like the oldest version the best. That definitely tracks with siblings. Yeah. All right. We're done with you. You can't tag along with us anymore. Mom isn't here to make us hang out with you.

And like you mentioned earlier, it's always three. It's always three brothers. And the youngest one is always like the hot, clever one who gets what they want by the end the youngest brother set out into the world all alone he wandered through the forest and came to a large meadow he was very hungry and sat down beneath the ring of trees and began to weep for he knew he would soon starve to death all of a sudden he hears a roar and when he looks up it's a bear no no that is false it is the devil oh okay the devil roars uh-huh okay the devil was dressed in a green coat and had a cloven foot which just one a. A cloven foot, not cloven feet. Okay, so he has a human man foot and a goat foot.

Interesting. And a green coat, because why not? What's the matter? Why are you weeping? Asked the devil. And the young man told him his troubles and said, my brothers had driven me away from them. And the devil was willing to help him.

As, you know, the devil does. With a fiddling contest? Not quite, but sort of. The devil says, if you put on this green coat, you'll see that it has pockets that are always full of money. You didn't even hear the money part. What if it was always full of spiders? It's got pockets though. The pockets are always full of spiders. Damn it. Never mind. Pockets are a really big deal for women because women's fashion

just doesn't understand the importance of pockets. I am currently wearing a pair of jeans that the front pockets, there's some stitching here to make it look like it has pockets. I ordered these online. So I thought it has pockets. And then I got here and there are no pockets. It's just stitched to make it look like there's a pocket, but there's no pocket. There's no pocket.

I have pants like that, which I also purchased online. Do they at least have back pockets? Yes, there's at least back pockets, which are the only pockets like phones can fit into any way on women's clothing. But yeah, I digress. There's a coat and there's pockets full of money in the coat. Pockets full of money. You just have to dig into

the pockets whenever you like but in exchange for the coat i demand that you don't wash yourself for seven years that you don't comb your hair and that you don't pray if you die during the seven years then you are mine if however you live then you free. In addition, you'll be rich for the rest of your life. Oh my God. Okay. So is he hoping that disease will get him? Like if he doesn't wash? Disease or the fact that he can't pray.

And that's probably going to piss God off. Probably. I mean, God, as we know, definitely pays that much attention. Seven years is a long time to not wash your hair or your butt. I mean, God, as we know, definitely pays that much attention. Seven years is a long time to not wash your hair or your butt. Didn't people only wash their hair like once a year anyway at this time? I don't know. I don't know nearly enough about it.

I mean, would I take the coat? Probably. Yeah. Seven years. Seven. Man, I don't know. I can't go like seven days without needing a shower. So yeah, that would be really difficult but i could pay people to like me anyway because i have if you were starving to

death i mean that decision might be a little bit easier yeah yeah yeah yeah it totally depends on whatever your circumstances are bottomless pockets of money. There are a lot of circumstances under which that is very tempting. But also if you die, you go to hell. But if you die, if I starving to death, like, I'm sorry,

by like whatever 15th century German rules, I'm going to hell anyway. That's fair. Would you take the coat no just because the idea of not washing my hair for a week not let alone seven years geez sorry i don't think i could do it also i don't think you're supposed to make deals with the devil i I'm pretty sure that's a big thing. That's true. That's true. It's a big no-no. Continue. In the later version of this story, instead of a green coat, it is an actual bear skin from a bear that the young man has to kill. Oh, okay. So the coat

and the skin don't exist in the same story? Yeah. So that's why one is called the devil in the green coat and the other one is called bear skin. This for me so far yeah your predictions were pretty off but but not totally off so the young man's troubles were so great that they drove him to accept the devil's bargain so the devil took off his green coat and the young man put it on okay as soon as he stuck his hand in the pocket he had a handful of money oh yeah gold baby hell yes so he sets out into the world with his green coat and the first year was good he could pay for anything he liked and he was regarded as a human being for the most part which i don't know why it said it like that why you gotta say it like that yeah exactly i was kind of confused i had to go back and read to see if there was like another part of this seven years curse but no just no he's not completely

unwashed yet this lends credence to my theory that people only took a bath once a year yeah there you go things became worse in the second year and his hair had grown so long and matted and disgusting that nobody could recognize him and no one would give him lodging for the night because he looked so atrocious abby's raising her hand yes yes abigail does it count as washing if you just shave your head he's not supposed to like cut his fingernails or cut his hair at all so he's on so like no grooming is really the clause. Precisely. Okay.

Please continue. I don't understand the lodging, why people don't offer him lodging because couldn't he have just bought a house? Right? Did people rely on lodging that much? I don't know. Maybe if he's traveling, I guess. I don't know. Oh, I guess he's traveling the world. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Because and then that makes sense. like, why you wouldn't. Because especially in this day and age, someone who looks and smells probably also has a lot of lice or bed bug related issues. Yep. Anyway. So the more time passed, the worse it became. Although people would be horrible to him because they were afraid of his appearance,

would be horrible to him because they were afraid of his appearance he would give poor people money they needed in exchange for their prayers for him to not die within the seven years and fall into the devil's hands that seems fair good exchange yeah so he's like hey i made a deal with the devil can you pray for me and i'll give you you know buckets of money full of money okay at a certain point in the fourth year he came to an inn where the innkeeper wouldn't let him stay there. However, he took out a heap of money and was willing to pay in advance so that the innkeeper would give him a room. That evening, he heard a loud moaning in the next room and discovered an old man sitting there crying about something. The young man asked him of his troubles and the old man proceeded to tell him he owed the innkeeper a great deal of money

and now he was being detained until he paid his debt. Oh no. The young man, who was extremely compassionate, said, if that's all it is, I've got plenty of money. I'll pay and you'll be free of your debts. I love this guy.

I know, he's really sweet. This is a really good guy. Now the old man had three beautiful daughters. Sure, of course he did. Oh. And told the young man that he could have one to marry as his reward. But no.

When he introduced them, the eldest daughter saw the young man and screamed and cried that she would never marry such a hideous man who didn't have human traits and looked like a bear the second daughter immediately ran off and preferred to set out into the wide world than to marry the young man however the youngest daughter and probably the prettiest and smartest and funniest it's that's always how it goes you said father, since you've promised him and he's helped you get out of trouble, I shall obey you.

I'm getting very Beauty and the Beast vibes with this. Yeah. Nice kid. Cares about her dad. Cares about her dad, I guess. That's good. Fine, dad, I'll marry him. All I can think of now is just imagining a scenario where he is literally turning into

a bear. I think he just looks like one, which is why I think they changed the story for him to be wearing an actual bear skin. I think it's much more apparent in the later version that he's supposed to look like a bear. He has all this hair. He's dirty. His fingernails are grown out and they look like claws bear he has all this hair he's dirty his fingernails are grown out they look like claws

yeah so it's a lot more obvious but in the first version if i just mentioned that one part where it's he kind of looks like a bear right the young man in the green coat took a ring from his finger and broke it in two he gave her one half and kept the other half for himself he wrote his name in her half and her name in his half and told her to keep her half in a safe place. Afterward, he said, I must take my leave. I shall be gone three years. Be true to me during this time. Then I'll return and we'll celebrate our wedding. If I don't return in three years, you'll be free because I will be dead. Pray for me and ask God to protect me. I really love this guy. Yeah, that's why I'm kind of not even mad that this guy's forcing his daughter to marry him.

Because he's kind of a catch. Really. Yeah, like he's so sweet. Besides the taking a deal with the devil part. You know, I'm giving him a pass because you got to do what you got to do in survival situations. But he's so pure of heart. He is. I love this guy that even like her own father basically sold her to him in exchange for paying off his debts.

And he's still, no, we don't got to do this. Well, I mean, he does. He still wants her to be true. Oh, that's fair. I mean, he doesn't tell her about the curse, though. I feel like he should mention that. There's nothing in the curse that says he can't talk about it. Yeah, be like, hey, I have a curse, and I'm not going to look like this forever, and then I'll be really rich. Yeah, and you'll be really glad that you hopped on this train.

Exactly. that you hopped on this train. Exactly. Now, during the three years, her two older sisters made a great deal of fun of the youngest and said that she couldn't get a real man and would have to marry a bear, which also, how siblings? Why are fairy tale siblings just the worst, minus Hans?

I don't know. This is just in the later version. The older sisters give some really sick burns to the youngest daughter about her bear husband. Pay great attention when he shakes your hand, said the eldest sister, and you will see his beautiful claws. And then take care, said the second sister. Bears are often fond of sweets, and if you please him, he will eat you up, perhaps. And then the last one was, the wedding will be certainly merry for bears dance well. Being such assholes to their sister.

They're so mean. Which totally cracks me up. Oh, boy. Okay. The youngest daughter kept quiet while her sisters were making fun of her and just says, I must obey father no matter what. Not a super fan. In the later version, she's actually like really upset that he's gone because she's

so faithful to her father and she actually doesn't mind that he looks like a bear. She doesn't hate it. She's just really happy that he saved her father from his debt. Meanwhile, the young man in the green coat traveled the world buying the most beautiful things he saw for his bride with his devil money, which God would totally approve. He didn't do anything evil besides make a deal with the devil. He did good deeds wherever he would go and gave lots of poor people money so that they would pray for him. So God showed him mercy and the three years flew by and he was healthy and alive. Well done.

He's doing all right. His trials are over. It's the end of the story, right? Now that the seven years was up, the young man went back to the meadow and sat down under the ring of trees. Once again, there was a tremendous roar and the devil arrived he grumbled and viciously threw the young man's old coat at him and demanded the green one in return well the young man was glad to take the green coat off and handed it to the devil he was now free and rich for the rest of his life so he went home cleaned, and moved on to his beautiful bride. When he came to the door, the father and the daughters couldn't recognize him at all, obviously.

And so they didn't even believe it was him. He asked his bride if she still had the half ring he gave her, and she said yes and went to fetch it. He took out his half and held it next to hers, and they matched. That's really sweet. And now that they knew that it was definitely the young man, the youngest daughter was so happy, and he was so handsome now, and they held the wedding. Aw. Aw. However.

Oh, okay. I love how it works. Dun, dun, dun. oh clever oh oh okay i love how it first done since the two sisters had passed up their chance for happiness they became so furious that one of them drowned herself on the wedding day and the other hanged herself oh my god that evening something knocked and banged on the door when the young man went and opened it, the devil was standing there in his green coat and said, you see, now I've got two souls instead of just yours.

Yeah. The end. Yeah. Yes. I love it. The devil still wins. I thought you would like that. Oh my God. I love it. The devil still wins. I thought you would like that. Oh my God. I love that. I love like, I'm a sucker for a good, the villain actually planned this the whole time ending.

Yeah. So in the later version, the sisters don't die at all. They're just like really upset. Uh-huh. Which is a lot less fun in my opinion that is so much less fun i was at first i was gonna be sad for them because i thought that was just gonna be the end but i love it so much the devil shows back up and goes ha ha i didn't read too much about it but there's actually a play version where the devil like looks off to the camera or audience or whatever maybe it's a player movie i can't remember uh-huh but he breaks the fourth wall in his before, right as he gives the young man the green coat.

And he's like, now I'll have two souls instead of one. Like foreshadowing. Leaving the audience like, oh, to be like, wait, what? Yeah, so I kind of love that. So cool, okay. Which I'm gonna watch that super bad. Totally makes me think of um it's very theater this story yeah it is very theatrical because i was imagining how you would show this young man

over the seven years like how you would costume that yeah it seems like it would be a really fun play and there's also been some operas it's most commonly known as Bearskin. But I personally love The Devil in the Green Coat. Good title. I don't have any fixes. I love that story. No, no fixes for this one? No. Besides maybe, you know, just not promising to be like, oh, you can marry my daughter. My only objection is, it's a very typical one for our show, which is the moral of the story for any young ladies listening to the story is obey your father and good things will happen to you.

Blind obedience to your father, including marrying really gross men, is actually good for you and you'll like it eventually. good for you and you'll like it eventually. So I guess my only fix for it would be the other two sisters reject him and then he really like sells himself to the youngest one just being like, hey, lays out the curse thing and then sells her on the idea. And then she's all right. I know a good business deal when I see one. And that wouldn't change the story in any way, too, if he let her in on, oh, I don't really look like this, by the way. By the way, I actually clean up real nice. I'm currently under a curse.

But if you hang out and pray for me, I promise I'm nice and I'll come back super rich and super hot and then we can begin our life together. And I don't feel like the story would like tangibly change. Nope. How dramatic are the sisters? Just because you drown yourself and you hang yourself, really? That seems a little overkill. That's, I mean, that seems way overkill. Can't you just be happy for your sister? No.

Because the thing is, it's like, yeah, sibling bitterness is a real thing. You know, you can also be unhappy for your sister and still be alive. That's the other thing is I'm just kind of like wow that reminds me the reason i chose this one was i saw this uh amazing illustration which i'll post on the instagram that's right i love the illustration from the book i read it from which is the original folk and fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm. It's such a good version of the stories. You can find it on our show notes. There's the link.

You can buy the book. That's a great illustration. And that was actually the book that we did for our giveaway back in November. Yes, it is. Illustrated by Andrea Desso. Posted to our Instagram. And you can look her up because she has amazing illustrations. They're so good. Oh, you know, we didn't go over your predictions

and what you got, by the way. Oh my god. Oops. Did I get anything? I was going to give you a half point because you had guessed that the bearskin was a disguise. That was half true. Are we doing half points?

I don't think it counts in the... You know what? Yeah, I think half points count. I don't know. Because I feel like in the spirit that I intended the prediction, it was not true. Okay, then you didn't get any points. I mean, I hate to deprive myself of points. I meant it in terms of an intentional deception.

How about in terms of overall, you don't get the point, but in the spirit of my heart, and today, you get the half point. I'll take the half point. I'll take the half point for my soul. Okay. Okay. So I want you to make me predictions for a story called Why the Sea is Salt. A little background. This is another us, Beyonce and Mo. It was personally requested by Heidi, who's one of our beloved co-members of our podcast network. Okay. That's why I've heard of this one. I was like, that sounds really familiar. Yes, it's because Heidi specifically asked for this one. This is one of

her favorite stories. It's based off of an old Norse poem. But Andrew Lang also included it in the Blue Fairy Book. And then there's also a Greek variant known as the mill. And it has the devil in it. Oh, you gave me a little hint i did i couldn't i couldn't contain it because i was so excited that both of us picked a devil story that's okay that gives me zero information i still know it doesn't help you at all i'm gonna guess that someone gets tricked by the devil okay i'm gonna guess that there is an animal that's important to the story. Okay.

And I'm going to guess the devil is not successful in his trickery deal, what have you. Wow. Okay. All right. Bold.

Bold of you. I like it. That's good. Okay. Let's do it. Okay. i'll take all three of those once upon a time but it was a long long time ago there were two brothers one rich and one poor only two oh my gosh was the oldest one a jerk how'd you guess the oldest one is always a jerk seriously fairy tale siblings except for hans hans is a treasure hans is a peach but all other fairy tale siblings are garbage and it's always the oldest one so i guess on behalf of elder siblings everywhere. Sorry, not sorry. Our parents were harder on us.

Maddie. Eh. I mean, I'm the younger sibling, so. That's true. Sorry, Callie, to my older sister. On Christmas Eve, the poor one hadn't had so much as a crumb in the house, either of meat or bread, so he went to his brother to ask him for something to keep Christmas with in God's name. It was not the first time his brother had been forced to help him,

and you may fancy he wasn't very glad to see his face, but he said, If you will do what I ask you to do, I'll give you a whole flitch of bacon. Now, before you ask, I did look up what a flitch is. Kelsey's face was like right on her microphone. She was going to ask the question. Okay, so what is a flitch of bacon? Okay, a flitch of bacon is a pig that has been cut in half lengthwise. Yes, that face. That is correct. That's the correct face to make. Okay, okay.

Also, fun fact, apparently it was a tradition in some pockets of England for a lord of an area to gift a flitch of bacon to every man or woman who demanded it a year and a day after their marriage upon their swearing, they would not have changed for any other. Yeah. So if you could come to your Lord's manner a year and a day after marriage and say, yep, still in love, you'd get half a pig,

but you had to bring two neighbors to witness that your, that their oath is true. Bring two neighbors to witness that their oath is true. I don't like in this story so far that the older brother is such a jerk about sharing food, especially when he's rich. Mm-hmm. I mean, I know for you and I, we would definitely be more than happy to welcome our siblings in. Absolutely. Like, it wouldn't matter how many times Maddie needed something.

Yeah. I would give it to her without hating her about it. You're going to get plenty more reasons to not like this man. You know, we also don't know the whole story. So I don't want to be too judgmental. Yeah, we don't know the whole story of their childhood. Basically, you are supposed to get the sense that he is very frustrated with his brother. The poor brother says, yes, of course, I'll do anything you want. And the rich one says, great, here's your bacon.

Go to hell. At least he gave him the bacon. Yeah, he gave him the bacon and told him to go to hell. Thanks, brah. What do you think the poor brother does, Kelsey? Does he actually go to hell? He sure does. He says, well, I gave my word, so I guess I'm going to hell.

How does he do that? Just walks? He walks to hell. Into hell? Obviously. What, you think he's got some kind of fancy schmancy horse or buggy? I don't know. Do you have to kill yourself or do you just walk through the gates?

He just walks to hell. So yeah, so he takes his half a pig and he walks for a whole day. And then at dusk, he comes upon a place with a very bright light, an outhouse, and an old man with a long white beard chopping wood. And he figures this has to be it this is hell i want to marry that old man i found it chopping wood you're gonna love him even more i knew i would i'm really gonna love this old guy so the old guy says hi there what you doing out so late with half a pig and the poor brother replies, oh, I'm going to hell.

If only I knew the right way. The old man says, well, you're not far wrong, for this is hell. When you get inside, they will be all for buying your flitch, for meat is scarce in hell. But mind you, don't sell it until you get the hand mill, which stands behind the door. When you come out, I'll teach you how to handle the mill for it's good to grind almost anything. So the young man thanks him for his advice and gives a great knock at the

devil's door. When he gets in, everything goes. Is the outhouse the devil's door. When he gets in, everything goes- Wait, is the outhouse the devil's door? Yes. Okay, go on. The Asbjornsen and Moe book uses some very old-timey language, so I'm not sure if outhouse means outhouse in the Western sense

that we're used to thinking about it. And I mean Western as in Old West. the western sense that we're used to thinking about it like and i mean western isn't like old west lena her outhouses usually have like a little moon carved out of the door i'm imagining like a little um pentagon carved into the door a little pentagram pentagram or an upside down cross yes oh that's better. Regardless of whether or not that's the kind of outhouse the story means, that is now the outhouse I'm envisioning. It's the outhouse from Shrek with an upside down cross instead of a crescent moon. Exactly. And it's glowing red inside, which is weird.

It does seem to be the devil's door. Anyway, the young man with half a pig knocks on the devil's door. Anyway, the young man with half a pig knocks on the devil's door. And when he gets in, everything goes just as the old man had said. All of the devils, great and small, come swarming up to him like ants round an anthill, and each try to outbid the other for the flitch. Well, said the man, by rights, my old dame and I ought to have this flitch for our Christmas dinner. But since all of you have set your hearts on it, I suppose I must give it up to you. But if I sell it at all, I'll have to have it for that mill behind the door yonder. I like this guy. Me too.

This brother, he's a smart one. He's thinking. He's thinking on his feet. He's quick. He is a salesman. He is, you'll see, he is a used car salesman of the finest order. So, you know, the devil himself is attempting to haggle with this young man. And he is mega not interested in giving up the mill.

He wants to keep that mill. He does his best to haggle. wants to keep that mill he does his best to haggle but the young man remembering what the old wood cutter had told him absolutely staunchly refuses and apparently meat is so scarce in hell that the devil finally is like oh fine you can take the mill in exchange for half a pig fine fine for the flitch of bacon yep for the flitch of bacon that sounds better than half a pig i'd like saying half a pig though because i think i think because it says bacon in it that sounds more enticing to me personally oh it does sound more enticing absolutely but i like saying half a pig because that's gross and that's what it is. But yes, the devil gets his flitch of bacon in exchange for the hand mill behind the door. And the young man leaves hell. It's very easy. You just come in and out of the outhouse door. how to use it. And he thanks him for the advice. And then he rushes home and still manages to piss off his old dame, which at first I thought that meant his mom. Then I realized that probably isn't

right. Because wouldn't like the mom be staying with the rich brother? Not necessarily. Maybe the rich brother is such a jerk that he won't even let his mom stay with him. Could be maybe it says old dame. And I kind of think it might be his wife i like it i want someone to refer to me as their old dame tell adam right away or maybe i'll just call you my old dame please do okay like i've got to go record a podcast with my old dame i really love that actually excellent, then maybe I'll do that. I'm going to start referring to you that in all of my tweets. I feel like that demands respect, personally.

To be the old dame? Like Dame Maggie Smith? I don't know why, I just love it. He pisses off his old dame because he doesn't make it home until the clock has struck 12 on Christmas Eve. That would piss me off. Yeah. It's like you send your husband out two days ago to ask his brother for some food because you're both horribly poor. He doesn't come back until midnight two days later.

Rude. Rude. And it's Christmas. And it's Christmas, which I now realize I should have read this a couple weeks ago because. But whatever. I read The a couple weeks ago because. But whatever. I read The Snowman for Christmas instead. That's fine.

So I'm reading this one. It's still wintertime. It counts. It totally counts. Only half the story is during Christmastime. Everybody leave me alone. OK, so his old dame was really worried about him in addition to being really pissed off, you know, he explains to her that he couldn't get back before for I had to go a long way first for one thing and then for another. But now you shall see what you shall see.

He puts the mill on the table and bait it first of all, grind lights, then a tablecloth, then meat, then ale and so on till they had got everything that was nice for Christmas fair. He had only to speak the word, and the mill ground out what he wanted. The old dame stood by, blessing her stars, and kept on asking where he had got this wonderful mill, but he wouldn't tell her. From hell. Yes, I went to hell, wife.

Also, that mill sounds dope. Yeah. That sounds like a good trade for half a pig that's it well here's my other question if meat is so scarce in hell but this mill can grind out meat why did you trade it for half a pig doesn Doesn't seem like the smartest trade. Doesn't seem like something the devil would do. I don't understand the mill. Is it a magic? Yeah, it's definitely magic. Clearly.

It's making like candles, tablecloths, and like meat and potatoes and all of the Christmas Eve dinner stuff you could want. Okay. I like it. Me Okay. I like it. Me too. I want it as well. If this would be very cool, I would never cook again. Can the mill do the dishes for you? That's my question.

Oh, that is much more important. But also the mill can give you ale. Yeah. Anyway, he wouldn't tell his wife where he got quite rightly because i don't think she'd appreciate learning that he got the mill by making a bargain with the devil which as we know is always stupid i worked out for the last guy that's true that's true but it didn't work out he he ended up paying that curse forward in a way that didn't work out so good for other people. That's true.

Yeah, it did pay the curse forward. Yeah. Tricky devils. It's the wrong kind of paying it forward. Do you think he still went to heaven? No. His decisions led to the death of two people. That guy's going to the bad place.

All right, go on. Anyway, so he wouldn't tell her where he got the mill. It's all one where I got it from. You see, the mill is a good one and the mill stream never freezes. That's enough. He gets this thing to grind out food and drink and anything he and his wife desire for days. and drink and anything he and his wife desire for days. And on the third day,

he invites all of his friends and family to come over and gives a great feast. As a member of the family, his rich brother is invited and gets pretty up in his feelings about all of this. The book says that he grew quite spiteful and wild for he couldn't bear that his brother should have anything i hate these fairy tale siblings i know we don't have the full context on their childhood but this is still pretty harsh that's true so the older brother gets drunk and starts telling

anyone who will listen that his brother was so poor two days ago when he came begging for food. And now look at him. That's petty. So petty. Petty AF. Way to out your brother to all of his friends. Jealous much? They already knew, obviously.

But yeah, seriously, very jealous. He demands to know where all of this came from. And his once poorer brother gestures vaguely and kind of says like, oh, behind the door at first. But then he gets drunk and he can contain his secret no longer. He makes the mill grind all kinds of stuff for his guests and he makes his brother so jealous that he can't see straight. He was already kind of there, but now he's super there. I just don't, I can't comprehend this level of jealousy.

I know because, I mean, you have a good relationship with your sister. That's true. That's true. If my sister had a mill that made all that great stuff, I probably wouldn't ask questions. I'd just be like, thanks for all the ale. If my sister had something that did this, we would just make all of our dreams come true. We always talk about buying a compound together somewhere. Yeah, teamwork makes the dream work, guys. Like I would love it if Maddie ended up like wildly rich because then it'd be like yeah we go into hawaii or you know but that's because we have good relationships with their siblings yeah that's true fairy tale siblings obviously have it much harder they're

much more competitive with each other the brother's super duper jealous over this mill and he must have it so he coaxes his brother he works on him for hours until his brother finally says you can have it i get to keep it until hay harvest and you have to give me an additional 300 dollars it says dollars in the book. I don't know why. Well, it's a translation, right? It is an English translation. So I guess like an American translated it into dollars, which I guess is helpful.

So he has to give his brother $300 for it and let him keep it until hay harvest. For the younger brother thought, if I keep it till then, I can make it grind meat and drink that will last for years. So he keeps it until hay harvest. He gets as much as he needs out of it. And then he gives it to his other to his older brother. But pointedly does not teach him how to handle it. Oh, a little tricky. Oh, this is where the car salesman thing comes back.

This is where the car salesman thing is coming into play. Okay. Which I love because his older brother deserves it. Obviously, he's a jerk. He's a bastard. He deserves everything he's going to get. So he takes the mill home. And I'll give him this on kind of a nice impulse.

He tells his wife, you go out, take care of the farm, get everything done out there with our field hands and I'll make dinner. Thank you. I don't know. Making dinner once a year? Once every... Well, whatever. She appreciates it.

So she goes out and she doesn't have to stay in the house and make dinner it's nice it's the one nice thing he did just let it happen for once okay so when dinner time drew near he put the mill on the kitchen table and said grind herrings and broth and grind them good and fast i love that herrings and broth is the dinner. I don't love that as much. That he's imagining. He's so Norwegian. It's an incredibly Norse meal to be like,

I'm going to make dinner from my wife. I know herrings and broth. So Norwegian. Super Norwegian. So the mill begins to grind herrings and broth. A lot. First of all, all the dishes full. Then all the tubs in the house full. And so on till the kitchen floor was quite covered.

That's cute. Make it stop. Then the man twisted and twirled the mill to get it to stop. But for all his twisting, the mill went on grinding. And in a little while, the broth rose so high that the man was like to drown oh no ew i know it's gross it's herrings so he threw open the kitchen door and ran into the parlor but it wasn't long before the mill had ground the parlor full too and it was only at the risk of his life that the man could get hold of the latch of the house

door through the stream of broth it's pretty hot too i bet so he's also like his skin is probably getting pretty good burns yeah that sounds terrible but i don't feel bad for him even a little when he got the door open he ran out and set off down the road with the stream of herrings and brotha's heels, roaring like a waterfall over the whole farm. Oh my gosh, I want to see that so bad. Please, I need to see this illustrated. So far, this one would be a really fun claymation illustration. Yes, it really would. Because I got to know like what kind of outhouse was it and what does it look like when a man gets chased down the street by a flood of broth and herrings i'm definitely saying claymation in my head i need someone to like draw us a picture meanwhile it's

getting pretty late his wife is out in the fields with all of their farm hands and is thinking wow i can't believe he hasn't called us into dinner yet. Maybe he's having trouble cooking dinner because he's helpless and I should go rescue him from himself in the kitchen. That actually is a legit paraphrase of what it actually says in the book. She is genuinely worried that he can't handle making broth. I feel like I've definitely been there. Yes, same. There's a reason why you and i do all the cooking in our respective households ask me on cinema so far it might be my favorite fairy tale i like the way they spin a yarn she calls a halt to the work of the day and she and all the farmhands head back

up to the house they had just got a little way up the hill when what should they meet but herrings and broth and bread all running and dashing and splashing together in a stream and the master himself running before them for his life and as he passed them he bawled out wood to heaven each of you had a hundred throats but take care you're not drowned in the broth and away he went such drama such drama away he went as though the evil one were at his heels to his brother's house and begged him for god's sake to take back the mill that instant for said he if it grinds only one hour more the whole parish will be swallowed up by herrings and broth here's where car salesman bro continues to car salesman

car salesman bro continues to car salesman i can't wait he wouldn't hear of taking it back till the other paid him down three hundred dollars more oh shit so he got both the money and the mill and it wasn't long before he set up a farmhouse far finer than the one in which his brother lived with the mill he ground so much gold that he covered it with plates of gold. And as the farm lay by the seaside, the golden house gleamed and glistened far away over the sea. All who sailed by put ashore to see the rich man in the golden house and to see the wonderful mill, the fame of which spread far and wide till there was nobody who hadn't heard tell of it. So one day, one such sailor, a captain, came by and wanted to see the mill.

And the first thing he asked was, can this mill grind salt? And the owner says, it can grind literally whatever you want. I heard, duh. Do you see my gold-plated house? Yeah, it can grind salt. What can it grind?

And when the captain heard that, he said that he must have the mill, cost what it would. He thought he should be rid of his long voyages across stormy seas for a lading of salt for some reason. At this point, I completely forgot the story was called Why is the Sea Salt? This is the last page of the story, and we're only just getting to the bit about salt. I completely forgot that was the name of the story. Because there has been nothing about it. It was about Christmas dinner and the devil. And now finally there's a sea captain asking, can this mill make salt? Can it? Oh boy. Hey, Presto. The text doesn't explain, but I'm pretty sure the captain wants the mill that can grind endless amounts of salt because he can sell the salt for a lot of money because salt was a very expensive spice.

Probably the best spice. So at first, the man who had bargained for this so hard for his half a pig wouldn't hear of parting with the mill, but the captain begged and prayed so hard that at last he let him have it, but he had to pay many, many thousands of dollars for it. But he did eventually get it. So he finally he takes it back to his ship and he makes off with it for he's afraid that the original man should change his mind.

He didn't ask how to handle the mill. Oh, I see where this is going. Do you see where this is going? Do you have an idea why the sea might be so salty? That's so good yeah so we got on board his ship as fast as he could and set sail when he had sailed a good way off he brought the mill on deck and said grind salt and grind both good and fast well the mill began to grind salt so that it poured out like water and when the skipper had got the ship full he wished to stop the mill but whichever way he turned it and however much he tried it was no good the mill kept grinding on and the heap of salt grew higher and higher

and at last down sunk the ship there lies the mill at the bottom of the sea and grinds away at this very day. And that is why the sea is salt. The end. Damn. That was good. Did you enjoy that? Damn.

That was so good. I completely forgot the name of the story. And by the end, just. Yeah, it's like the last paragraph of the story is what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. We were supposed to be explaining why the sea is salty. Oh, my gosh. There was a sea captain who wanted a lot of salt.

And there's a magic bill that makes salt endlessly. The end. Do you have any information besides ask Beyonce and Mo like who wrote it or who told them that story? I don't. I'm just curious. That's such a good story. It's an excellent story because there's a Greek story that is incredibly similar. So I think it's just one of those stories that just kind of drifted across the entire continent. Who knows its real origins? Yeah, that's like a story I would love to tell my niece.

Yeah, she'd probably really get a kick out of that story. I had a fix while you were talking about the pirate. You always change it to pirate. Captain. He's just a sea captain. I just want a pirate. You want it to be a pirate so badly. It was a pirate. You want it to be a pirate so badly. It was a pirate. You said pirate. I heard pirate.

That was a perfect story. I have zero fixes except for the sea captain is a pirate and he just takes the mill. Yes. And all the gold plates. And all the gold plates. He's a pirate. On the house my only fix for it is there was some devil in this but in my opinion not enough devil how did the devil win in this

scenario i refuse to believe that this man completely outsmarted the devil he didn't succeed and that's why i get the point yep that is exactly why you got the point unfortunately as soon as like because your first two were so off but your third one nailed it the devil does not succeed in keeping the mill away from the humans the only reason i made that prediction was because you were so surprised that the devil was successful in my story uh-huh which i was also surprised and elated at so the fact that you were so surprised made me want to be um that's why i made that i was just surprised by like the how because it just kind of sounded to me it sounded like the one that i just read you know

the end everybody lived happily ever after. That's how it is in the later version of my story. Oh, the original one is better. In the later one of my version, they don't even call him the devil. They call him the evil one, which they mentioned in your story too. Yeah, I think it's interchangeable.

Maybe I think the devil and the evil one are the same character. But yeah, no, I love this story. I thought everything seemed great. Everybody who was harmed was harmed because they deserved it. I really admire the salesman-like moxie of the main character. You got moxie. I don't love that he completely outsmarted the devil, you know, with no consequences to himself.

Yeah, that doesn't seem like it should be easy to do. But it's fine because I still really enjoyed the image of his brother running down the street being chased by broth. That's going to do it for us today in the devil episode. Thank you so much for listening to Fairytale Fix. If you enjoyed our show, please subscribe. Leave us a review on Apple or Stitcher. If you love the show and want to support us, you can get extra episodes, merch, books, other bonus content by signing up at fairytalefix.cash for about what you pay for a latte a month,

which you can spend that on us, I think, instead, if you want. We won't be like the devil. You're going to be getting great stuff and no curses. The best stuff. The best stuff. You can also

find us on Twitter and Instagram at FairytaleFixPod and please, oh please, email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, nursery rhymes, and other such things at info at fairytalefixpod.com. It could show up on our next listener's tale. Yes. Or if you've got a request, we'll do for you what we did for Heidi and we'll cover the story that you requested. The devil got a way better deal

out of getting rid of his magic mill instead of just half a pig somehow. And the young man in the green coat charms his newly beloved and she falls in love with him genuinely and he leaves for three years while he's ugly. Comes back always ugly and dirty.

He leaves for three years while he's ugly. Comes back ugly and dirty. Comes back when he's handsome again. And then they all live happily ever after. The end.