Fairy Tale Fix - 94: Baba Yaga Goes New York (ft. Chadwick Heiberg)

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

A very spooky forest witch welcome to returning guest Chadwick Heiberg! Our time zone hopscotch playing woodland bard returns with the incredibly satisfying sequel to his original story Three Little Witches with the story of One Arm, Two Wings. After, Kelsey tells a tale simply named Baba Yaga - and all three hosts work together to come up with the ultimate fix for it: a way better name.

You know what I forgot to ask was, are we still doing cold opens for guests or should I actually introduce us? Well, I mean, we do need to introduce the guest. Yeah. So, hi listeners. This is Fairy Tale Things. Smooth. Thank you.

I am the queen of the segue. I'm also called Abby, if you're nasty. Wow, I like it. I really hate it. I wasn't expecting that, to be honest. It's probably supposed to be the other way around. You can call me Segway queen if you're nasty. This is Fairy Tale Big Super. We read classic fairy tales and we fix them for a modern audience.

Who are the rest of you? Who's on this call with me? I'm Kelsey. And I'm Chadwick. We have a very special guest today. Chadwick, and you, as we were just saying, are our first repeat guest. So congratulations. And thank you so much for coming back for more.

Yes. I'm so honored. Thank you for having me. And we're really excited because this episode comes out October 1st. We are officially in spooky season, y'all. Yours is better. The yours is better. The yours is better. Although it may be hot-ish outside, at least in my corner of the earth, I am closing my eyes and pretending so hard that it's crisp and chill out. There's jack-o-lanterns already on people's porches. Well, I mean, quick weather corner.

Yeah. Sorry, you were going to say something. There's what? Oh, no, I was just imagining it being ominous outside with crows and a slight chill. That's why I'm excited because quick weather corner. Chadwick is finally on my coast unlike last time when he was on the best coast. Yes, I'm in merry New England. Uh-huh. And it's act, and it actually is kind of crisp and cool and nice and like, it's just delightfully overcast.

Actually, I've noticed some of the leaves have been changing already. Yeah, we have some leaves changing. So it's very nice. So exciting. And like, it's just, it's very, it's, it's been very moody in the mid Atlantic for the past couple of days. And I think in New England as well. And yeah, I think like, I think people in New England love to, um, to start as early

as possible, you know, so there's already so there's so much going on already. Like I've seen, um, not real pumpkins, but like a lot of fake pumpkin stuff out, you know, on people's's lawns already. There's definitely been some giant skeletons that I guess people are prepping up a little early. Hell yeah. As they should. As they should.

Well, and for reference listeners, we're recording this the last day of August, so that's how early they're getting things going up there. Yeah. And I mean, every store is just full of Halloween decoration and everything. Yeah. This summer, people took summer wean to a new level to the point where capitalism was getting in on it. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Which I don't hate. I'm not mad about it. If Christmas gets earlier and earlier every year, then so should Halloween.

Yeah. Honestly, it should just be the whole year should be the end the last few seasons, holidays. I know. I wish we could move the winter festivities more to like the end of January. Because honestly, like I love winter up until the holidays are over because it's like cozy and there are lights and you're celebrating and it feels like festive. It feels good.

I mean, obviously, you know, we can't really do that. And then after the holidays, it's just cold and miserable. that. And then after the holidays, it's just cold and miserable. My family, they celebrated something in January. To be honest, I can't even remember because I never paid attention, but I think it was some Wiseman's Day or something. I have no clue. But there's some holiday in January. So yeah, we had a little bit of like coziness holiday vibes in January. Yeah. But it doesn't go too far in. Yeah. So it's still kind of toward the beginning of it.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think, yeah, I think it's like the first few days of January. But actually, you know, I don't mind January still because my mindset is there. Like no one's going to break because I'm an artist. Luckily, I feel like I'm just, that's my vibe. This is where I'm at. I'm basically Mr. Christmas for the next month. And no one's going to tell me anything or make me feel any other way. But definitely the cold February, March is a little tough for me because it's like then it really is like there's nothing going on in that forest. There's, you know, everyone is somewhat miserable or like being a little, New Yorkers and New England people are just like talking a bunch of crap about Valentine's Day. You know, everyone

has the whole debate about the legitimacy of it at all and stuff. Everybody's like, we have the cynics versus the romantics. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So we don't have to liven things up until like St. Patrick's Day, I guess. We don't have like a ton going on in up during that time. Until like St. Patrick's Day, I guess. We don't have like a ton going on in that time, yeah. Definitely one of my favorite times of the year. We should make the Starah more of a thing again. What?

The Spring Equinox. Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah, I actually- That kind of breaks it up a little bit. I bought a book about the pagan wheel of the calendar and I haven't read all of it, but I've been trying to focus more on that kind of timing. So in August I celebrated Lugnossod. I can't remember how you actually say it, but it was really fun.

What is it? I think it's Lunasa. Lunasa. Lunasa. I made some corn husk dolls and celebrated like, you know, it's the kind of like the first harvest. So it's like harvest one. And it was really fun. I enjoyed it. That sounds amazing. I didn't know that's what the corn husk dolls were for. Because I saw that you posted them to your Instagram. Yep. Do you know if they were like Bridget dolls or they were just for something else?

What? Do you know if they were Bridget dolls? I can't remember which of the part of the time of the year that they do St. Bridget. Oh, I'm not sure. I haven't read about St. Bridget yet. But we actually make not corn husk dolls, but we make a doll of Bridget and we exchange

her I forget what holiday, but every once a year. That's in bulk. In bulk. I guess. In bulk. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. In February. Okay. Yeah. St. Bridget's Day. All right. So that's a whole different time of year, but yeah, that's really cool. Yeah.

I love the pagan calendar and working with them. It's just like that's actually some of the best part of life for me and my partner for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to get more into it. It feels more right to me spiritually and just kind of, you know, going with the seasons. Yeah. It's like, I really kind of ground yourself in like the rhythm of nature more not to be too something.

Getting a little woo-woo, but I really like woo-woo stuff. Yeah. I mean, we do the fairy tale podcast, so that's fair. That does like teeter the line because I feel like my whole existence is like fighting the urge to be like crazy woo woo hippie, I guess, like fairy, like nature spiritualist to the point of like, that's all I am to this other side of me, which is more rooted in history and maybe literature with this writing and everything. I feel like fairy tale is somewhere in between. It's not like super spiritualist energy worker kind of thing.

Speaking of writing. But it's also not that. Oh yeah. Maybe Kelsey is the actual segue queen. Just trying, just trying, but we are really excited to have you on. So you wrote another fairy tale. So last time you were on, you read The Witches. Three Little Witches, yes. The Three Little Witches. I feel so stupid today because I realized I should have re-listened to it yesterday.

I remember the story super well. It was amazing. But I'm wishing I had re-listened to it. I thought the same thing when we first logged on to the call. I was like, oh, man, I really should have re-listened to our episode with Chadwick first. Yeah. So if anyone else wants to re-cap us.

If anyone else wants to re-listen to that real fast, it's episode 73 and it's called You Endangered Girl. So I'm probably gonna do that right after this. I do think that like it's a pretty easy recap because there you know there's really no way I can get into all the details but basically a family of sisters in Salem, Massachusetts. And they run away from home because of an incident where the townspeople tried to get their mother and the kids and cause danger. They ran out into the forest and they met up with Baba Yaga one faded evening. And then they had an interaction in which Baba Yaga made a deal with them and ended up sending them back in

time to do the loop again, but this time with magical powers. And I won't give anything else away, but that's the first story. And right now we actually are going into a story that converges on that first night, but doesn't go into the Three Little Witches story, but actually remain with Mary, the oldest sister. She had made a deal with Baba Yaga that she would be her servant in exchange for this gift of magical powers and an opportunity to save this gift of magical powers and an opportunity to save her mother and her sister's, therefore, future. And yeah, so now we're with Mary to see what happens with her and Baba Yaga. Which is incredible.

I am so stoked that you wrote a sequel to it because your first story was like, it was really good and it felt complete, you know? Like it was a very satisfying beginning, middle and end to it. But you just, you did the perfect amount of, but there's still some unanswered questions. So like, I'm so excited that we get to hear you tell us the sequel. Thank you. So basically, something I've also realized as I was writing was that I wrote it kind of in a stream. So as soon as we did our episode, I started writing the second one and I've actually started writing the third one and they are going to be hopefully one day an anthology of stories. But I might've gone over this before, but I have like a very

mixed background, but my father's side of the family is Polish. And so I grew up with a little bit of this, even though they're Polish Americans and Jewish Americans. So it's a bit of a mixed bag there. But basically, I wanted to weave Polish and Slavic culture and fairy tales into every story that I tell into the New England culture. So basically, this tale is actually like that as well and involves another fairy tale creature, I guess, fairy tale creature from Slavic mythology. Oh, yes. I'm so excited. I love the fusion. Yeah. Yeah, I really find it really fun. And yeah, it's just how it comes out too. So I'm really excited to continue that. And every story will have another Slavic creature highlighted, but it all plays into the same storyline with this one family or this one region.

All right. Should we get started? Should we get into it? Before we do, and this is just stupid. I just wanted to show these things to the two of you before we do get into the actual story portion. So just because Chadwick, every time I interact with you or we talk to you, I always think of Chadwick, Norway, the two concepts are linked in my brain. I just had a friend who went on a trip to Oslo and she just came back and she brought me two wonderful presents that I just wanted to share with you both. The first one, one that I am deeply excited to someday read on the podcast is they went to the Norwegian Burger King because

there was nothing else to eat in the neighborhood they were exploring. And they apparently with the Happy Meal, instead of a lame toy or a really cool toy, depending on your opinion, you get a little storybook. That's way cooler. That's way cooler. This is so cool. It has like a little cast of characters at the beginning of it. Oh, they're little mice. It appears to be about a stray cat and a couple of mice. Are they friends? Yes, they're friends. Look at the illustration. Can you see? That's so cute. That's so much better than a toy. Are you kidding?

The Burger King meal? Wow. This came with this came with a Burger King Happy Meal. That's wild. That's so Norway. It's so cool. They have to turn out to everything. I'm really excited to try to Google translate what is actually happening in the story because I don't read Norse. Yeah. Norge, I think. Norge.

Yeah. Do you read Norge or speak it? I mean, I took a class and I have a husband who speaks it. So I know a little bit. Can I take pictures and send it to my husband? I mean, if you want to do like one tail, he would actually really enjoy that. Yeah. Okay. Because he loves to do stuff like that. And also there's like two different Norwegian languages.

One that's more Bachmahl and New York. And one of them is more written. One of them is more verbal, I guess. Wait, verbal, yeah. So he always likes to like see if it more written, one of them is more verbal, I guess. So he always likes to see if it's written in one or the other. And there's one that he doesn't really know because not a huge population of Norwegians know it. And he's an origin American, so even less so. So I feel like he loves that kind of stuff. So he would enjoy that definitely.

Okay, cool. I will take pictures of the pages and send them over. All right. Because, I mean, but like truly only if it's something he would enjoy doing and it's not like a weird chore that your friends are giving him through you. Well, yeah. I mean, to be honest, I guess I'll have to ask him because that's always the case. I'm like, hey, you're going to do this now.

He's like, am I? Okay. I always tell him that he basically works for me and my dog. So whatever I want, that's what's happening. You know what? I feel like that's bare with partners. Happy house, happy house. What do you... Yeah, totally. Yeah. Okay. And the second thing was she also brought me back an illustrated book of Norwegian fairy tales. Cute. A lot of these are ones that we already have in our Asbjørnsson and Moe book.

Asbjørnsson and Moe. These are actually illustrated. Cool. Yes, send some pictures. The three billy goats Gruff. Oh, that's really cute. I'll definitely take some pictures that we three billy goats Gruff. Oh, that's really cute. I'll definitely take some pictures and we can post along with this episode. But like, it's very adorable.

And there's a couple in here that we haven't done before. So I'm excited to do a couple of these at point. But here's the illustration. Remember the Why the Bear was Stumpy-Tailed? Oh, yep. Sorry that I told. So there's the illustration. Remember the why the bear was stumpy tailed? Oh, yep. The story that I told. So there's the illustration. I love that story. That's so cute.

Cause I just love the bears going like, ah. That's really adorable. Anyway, I just wanted to share my prizes. And I'm excited to share more with both of you later. Yeah, that's so cool. I love it. I love trolls. Thanks.

Jen? Jen? It was Jen, yeah. Yeah, thanks Jen. She's also the amazing artist that made our Greta Gremlin earrings. Yes. Jen is fabulous and multi-talented and a very thoughtful friend. You brought me into a whole... I don't think she's listened to this podcast ever, but I'll tell her in person too.

I know. I've never really... I mean, I bought the earrings from her and so I started following on following her on Instagram. So now I feel like she's my friend. She is your friend. With all that Gremlin talk you guys had this summer, it really brought me into like a Gremlins mood for like months. I've had summers before, you know? I have a Gremlin tattoo. Oh, really?

You do? Yeah. I have a mugwai in the car from the second movie when they're driving around in the pink car. Yeah. Yes. So good. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yes. So good. Yeah. Yeah. Me and my cousins love that movie growing up. So my cousin actually tattooed it on me one Christmas time. We were sitting there and I was like,

you know, I really want a Gremlin tattoo. And he's like, let's do this. Let's do it. That's the best. So we didn't need to tell you about Greta Gremlin and how fabulous she is. You knew. He knew. That was a big part of, I guess, my age group or something. It was such a big part of my childhood. Yeah. Well, you know, great films, peak American film making, cinema. I know. They don't get wild like that anymore, I think.

I know. Yeah. Where it's just like ridiculousness, but it's just so good. Yeah. Well, I just think people are doing a lot less cocaine than they used to. That's facts, I think. Yeah. That's so accurate. For better or worse, writer's rooms are a lot more sober. Yeah. Bring the cocaine back. That's what I said. Bring the cocaine back. That's what I said. Bring the cocaine back into writer's rooms.

I'm going to get them to make a change. Give them all the mushrooms they want. Oh my gosh. Please. If we get another Gremlins movie out of it, I'm for it. I'm in. Please. Yes, that'd be amazing.

Well, because Kelsey and I's idea for Gremlins 3 is a complete Greta Gremlins spin-off where she revolt like she and all the lady gremlins do something. We'll find out. Yeah, right. I think that's a great idea. Do something. We'll find out. Yeah, right. I think that's a great idea. Yeah. It's a long time coming as well. Yeah. Someone should get the three of us into more writers' rooms. The rise of the female gremlins. We need that movie. We deserve that movie. Damn it. Well, Chadwick, what is the title of your sequel?

Okay. So, I just want to be transparent that there's two titles. Okay. But one is a hundred percent a giveaway to an aspect of the story because it is the name of the creature. So, it's up to you if you want both. So, to have your own situation here because it's's do you want, it's a bit, effectively, I would go into the creature if we did this.

I could do it after the story potentially quickly, but if you don't want the surprise ruins, so let me know. I would think I would prefer it without you telling us what the creature is so that we can get kind of the full experience of learning about it. And then you can tell us sort of more of the folklore afterwards. If that works for you, if you think that will flow well. All right. So the title of this story is One Arm, Two Wings. Do we get to make predictions? Yes, please. I'm going to write it down. How many do we get?

Actually, I didn't get a pen. I think maybe it's one, two, three, four, five. It's five pages, so it's shorter than the last story. I'd still give three predictions for five pages. Yeah, cool. So let's do three predictions. Who wants to go first? I'll give three predictions for five pages. Yeah, cool. So let's do three predictions. Who wants to go first?

Abby, you go first so I can copy your work. You know, at least you're honest about it. You're honest and upfront. OK, so if there's a Slavic monster in it, I'm cycling through all of the Witcher contracts that I took playing the Witcher 3. Smart. I know. That's partially why I wanted you to go first. I was like, I need to think about what Slavic creatures do I even know? Okay. We really haven't done that many. We don't have it. We need to get like into it.

Like, like Slavic, Slavic, Slavic monsters are so creepy and cool. I even have a coloring book of like Slavic folklore that I haven't looked through that I'm now I'm like, damn. Um, this creature, the creature in question is going to be undead. Undead creature, okay. Next prediction. Only one of the sisters will appear in this story. Okay. That's probably like an out there one, but I'm going with it.

And because I've been feeling a little bloodthirsty for the past couple of episodes and it really hasn't been satisfied. Somebody dies. You really have been waiting for somebody to die, haven't you? I've been predicting that every episode for I think like three episodes and nobody's died. We'll see. With my stories, that's actually a safe bet, I feel like. Right? Because your stories are very dark. I was like, I bet Chadwick will do it. Chadwick will satisfy my craving. I was writing it and I honestly, again, I was like, oh, this is so less dark than the

other one. Then when I actually read it back to myself, I'm like, oh no, it might even be worse. I don't know. Perfect. Excellent. I'm looking forward to it. All right. Kelsey? Perfect, excellent. I'm looking forward to it.

All right, Kelsey? Well, I'm going to predict the only Slavic monster I can think of, and I think it's Slavic, and this is based off of what I know from Alluring, and that's a Leshy. So I'm going to predict a Leshy. Leshy's a good time. Makes an appearance in the story. So I'm going to predict a Lushy. Lushy's a good time.

Makes an appearance in the story. I'm also going to predict important mushrooms. And bones. Bones. I didn't copy you after all. Good job. But it did help get my- Those are great. My wheels turning.

So I appreciate you. Interesting. All right. I got it all done. I like the motifs that might come up if Kelsey's right. All right. So one arm, two wings. I'm going to begin, okay?

Okay. On a dark mysterious autumn night, Mary saw her three little sisters disappear into thin air right before her eyes. Baba Yaga had sent them through time to save their mother and in exchange, Mary was to spend the rest of her days in service to the mysterious forest witch. and in exchange, Mary was to spend the rest of her days in service to the mysterious Forest Witch. In the same moment that her sisters vanished, Mary fell to the floor with a piercing pain. Yaga had used a meat cleaver to chop off her arm, making quick work of her deal. Damn Bobby Yaga. It's so smart.

She doesn't waste any time. I'd give my left arm to be a witch apprentice. Mary was in shock, shaking, kneeled over on the wooden floor as her auburn blood soaked into the beams beneath her. There we go, Yaga said as she gathered up the arm. Not too shabby for a one-off deal. She giggled as she continued towards a red leather and gold-trimmed gilded chest in the corner. As she opened it, a strong odor filled the room, pushing the air right out of Mary's

lungs. There were all manner of body parts in the chest. Mary could see legs, more arms, and even a head without eyes. One more to the pile. What can I say? I simply can't stop collecting. I should have predicted limbs instead of bones. Yeah. Well, but I just think that like, it's so, it's so weird because like classic fairy tales are often a little like cleaner than this. So it's like, it's, you know, bones that a bit, it's like old bones and less like piles of meat. Like, so like, Chad, I don't

know. We've had a heap of eyeballs before. So that is true. That is true. And I was talking Kelsey before this, that I'm actually trying to reach into like old fairy tale or like traditional fairy tale in my mind, you know, which I think the ones that got me when I was a kid were the ones that were what the fuck, right? And I was just like, that's what I'm trying to put into my work for sure. Well, yours is a strong start for body horror, Chadwick. Also, I forgot how sassy your Baba Yaga is. So funny. Yeah, I actually did a lot of Baba Yaga research this time as well for the second one because

I want to make sure I always do her right, you know, well for just fear of Baba Yaga, but also just because that's the right thing to do. So, um, so let's see. Put some respect on Granny. Granny's got jokes. She turns to Mary, what are you waiting for? Get up and get into more suitable clothes. Yaga points at Mary and she floats up a foot in the air, legs dangling, and flies fastly towards the linen closet. She lands harshly into the raw wood, opens the door and sees a brown vest with gold embroidering. It already

was made to only have one armhole. The embroidery looked like a golden tree. There was a matching long skirt and a head covering. She put it over her under a dressing, still stained with blood, and walked towards Yaga. The pain had been so intense, she felt her consciousness go in and out. A mop and bucket materialized before her. She grabbed them and got to it. As she begun to mop, stumbling with her one arm, she started thinking about where the girls really had gone to and if her mother was safe. Ooh, like that would be, I don't know, yeah, because like, like immediately after something

horrible happens to her, and she's like, did Baba Yaga even send my sisters what she said they did? Yeah, fair point. Yeah, and yeah, exactly. She has no clue. Yeah. Yeah. Mary noticed the sun rising.

Baba Yaga sat by the window. No clue, yeah. Mary noticed the sun rising. Baba Yaga sat by the window. As the light rose on her face, she became more beautiful than before. Mary thought how much like her grandmother she looked. And just like her grandmother, she had many faces. I must be off. It's a few weeks till Yule, and I have much to prepare, Yaga exclaimed. A few weeks till Yule, Mary said, but what about November? Oh, you just stood there for most of

it. It was very strange, just back and forth with your little mop for about five weeks. love a time jump like that. She's like, yeah, you were being weird. You're the weird one. You're the weirdo. Mary stood in confusion. Yes, not a very productive start to your work here, but then again, I did forget to mention time works differently in the house for every human minute. It's an hour or day. I always forget. And you have to find ways to get in sync.

Anywho, I must be off. I need to collect, I need you to collect nettle on my way. Bear of hand, of course. A little blood enhances their magic. And go ahead and take care of my plants. If the carnivorous ones get a little snippy, you must forgive them. They're just a little babies. And you should know that if a toad pops up around here, do not talk to him. Oh my God. No, definitely talk to the toad. You should absolutely talk to this toad. Why? What will happen if I talk to him? Mary asked. Oh, he is just such a bore. Goodbye. I mean, talk to him if you want, I guess, but he's really boring. I love this Yaga so much. Mary looked back into the home and noticed a table set full

of beautiful foods, roasted turkey, ham, hand pies, and larger ones filled with crimson red fruits and custard. She was so happy she could cry. Yaga, are we expecting guests? A table looks beautiful. Baba turned as she stood in the doorway. Oh, silly girl, you cannot eat anything you see in this house. You'll metabolize it too fast and it will kill you. Now go out, find yourself something to eat. You'll figure it out. You especially should not try to eat anything I've cooked. It could be all matter of magic and poison or just plain horrible. My recipes always have a way of going belly up. You'll have to fetch some water outside, maybe find some grain or mouse to eat.

Baba Yaga giggled as she left for her journey, and off she went into the sky. Mary ran outside with the little energy she had to fetch some water. As she stepped outside the door she could see and sense a shift in the energy, and night was crawling in. She ran as fast as she could to the well and began to pull up the pail. With every pull she heard increasingly loud moans of what she sounded like men at the bottom trying to stay afloat, yelling, "'Help! Please help us!' She knew better than to amuse them after all she had been through with Baba Yaga, and continued on to the water. As she looked down into the pail, there were two eyeballs, some teeth, and a small knife floating in the water, as

well as a parchment that read, Do not enter the house. Too late for that. Mary was repulsed at the idea of drinking the water, but grabbed the knife and thought she may need it. Then Mary went on looking for some grain to eat. She walked through a clearing towards a field. Mary ran up to what she thought was some wheat and noticed all the berries of the grain were black. As she walked further into the field, she noticed a bunch of dark hands reaching out from beneath the grain in the mud, and they began to grab her and pull her into the earth. She was able to use the knife she grabbed to cut herself free of their grip, severing their fingers. Nah.

As she broke loose, she saw a single grain of pure, healthy grain. And she grabbed it and she ran off. Just like one? Yeah, just one. One stalk of it? Like one measly grain. Oh, girl. She ran back towards Baba Yaga's house and noticed a small barn. She

walked towards it looking for some field mice who might be hiding from the cold. She lifted up a broken piece of wood on the barn and came up a family of mice. There was a mother and four little mice. They were emaciated and starving and it reminded her so much of her family back home. Instead of breaking the family apart, she laid the piece of grain amongst them, as it wouldn't have done much for her anyway. As the mother mouse began to feed her children with the grain, Mary sat there singing a song she once used to sing her sisters to sleep with. Sleep, little sisters, under the moon and stars. A life full of honey is not very far. She began to cry and she was reminded of her own hardship. Mary sat in the foggy field around the

house, hardly capable of holding her head up. Light beams came through the fog and she wondered if this would be the last thing she'd see. Some sort of holy light beam upon her, about to beam her into the heavens. In moments wishing it was so, she fell asleep as the light dimmed with her shutting eyes. This is very, like, very classic fairy tale-esque. I'm really enjoying this. You're nailing the vibe. I'm also really proud of her for following the fairy tale rules and being kind to the mice. I'm also really proud of her for following the fairy tale rules and being kind to the mice. Yeah. Be kind to the mice. Ignore the people crying for help at Baba Yaga's hut. Yeah.

Just freeze right past. Yeah. She has bigger problems to worry about. Seriously. Mary was jolted awake with the sound of a conch crow. Immense pain hit her stomach and she ran immediately towards the well again, pulling up the pail and drinking from the water without thinking. She couldn't bear to look into the pail before she devoured it. Mary immediately tasted rotting flesh and iron. She started throwing up the water. That was it. That was the final straw. She ran into the house and began destroying the beautifully set table full of food. She

ate and she ate and she ate and she couldn't eat anymore. I was wondering what by destroying, do we mean she's going to eat it or is she wrecking the table? Probably a bit of both. A little bit of both, but yeah. A little bit of both, yeah. After all the dread she had been through, it was sublime, almost spiritual feeling to eat so well again. The flavors of tart cherry and a buttery crust, the crunch of pecan on a well-filled pie,

and a roasted bird of some sort. It was so succulent, she began to feel all her worries subside. Dun dun dun. Dun dun dun. Yep. Baba yoga. Baba yoga told you not to eat that. She began to cry in joy, but as she did, she felt something strange. No sooner than Mary began to cry, she fell down on her legs. A giant bone began to grow through the stump she now had for an arm. And she looked towards the ceiling, screaming in pain. She felt her body shift and bend,

immense changes and chills traveled through her now unfamiliar body. She was in a fever dream of chaos, her insides shifted, bones twisted, and broke. fever dream of chaos, her insides shifted, bones twisted and broke. She could feel her scalp had peeled off her head. Her screams were now silent, they were so loud. As she blacked out, Mary could see her toes, which had looked like talons covered in feathers. Oh my gosh, oh this is so cool! Sorry, do go on. Mary opened her eyes sometime later to see Baba Yaga staring back at her. What did you do, child? Mary rises and continues to rise.

As she does, she hits the ceiling of the house, realizing she was flying. You ate from the table, didn't you? I don't know why humans always seem to fall for temptation. It's as if you always are compelled to do things you aren't supposed to. Now we're going to have to do something. Come down here now, Baba Yaga yelled. Baba Yaga turns to her altar, rummaging through her chest of magical tools. As she had her head turned, Mary flew out of the home and into the midday sun. So Mary escapes. Good for Mary. Mary had flown for a very long time, making sure she had got as far as she could from

Baba Yaga's hut, every night shutting her eyes to sleep in the canopy. She landed at a stream on her travels and noticed that she still had her human face. It was just framed in gray and black feathers. Yes, there was an elegant pattern to the feathers and she actually found it quite beautiful. She began on her journey hoping she would reach Salem again to find her sisters and mothers, all nestled together. It should be about Yule time. She would sing the same song she sang for her sisters in the trees every night. Sleep, little sisters, under the moon and the stars. A life full of honey is not very far, but this time to soothe herself. After many days and nights, she finally saw Salem town center. She noticed

a log being burnt and a garland around. It was Yule. It was just as gloomy and barren as she had left it, though. She noticed people were still ravenous and emaciated and ill. Still she was so joyed to be home that she began to sing her song again, catching the attention of the townsfolk, including her sisters. Sleep, little children, under the moons and the stars, life full of honey is not very far. As Mary caught her sister's eyes, a town person shot her right out of the sky. She came tumbling down. She came tumbling down. The townsfolk took quick work of gathering Mary, screaming, It's a monster, a bird with the face of a girl. Bring it to the square.

They tied her up to a stake and began a fire beneath her. The townspeople looked once again like demons, full of soot and hunger for blood, as they set her ablaze. Shit. Poor Mary. Yeah, for real. Jeez. as they set her ablaze. Her sisters and mother all hurried to the square. As they did, they saw Mary set ablaze. In Mary's last moment, she looked upon her sisters' faces and sang the song she had always sung for them. Sleep, little sisters, under the moon and stars, a life full of funny is not very far." In just a few lines of the song, Mary was reduced to ash. As the crowds cleared,

the family gathered around her ashes. The three little sisters cried and cried, knowing the mysterious creature the townsfolk had reduced to ash was, in fact, their beloved older sister. Their tears soaked the ash so much that it became like a mud. The sisters then held hands and began to sing the song their sisters sang to them. Sleep little sisters, under the moon and the stars, a life full of honey is not very far. As they did, Mary sprung out of the ashes. What? She was reborn as if nothing happened. Skin was pure as silk, and she had both her arms.

She was no longer some creature created by dark magic, but just Mary Meacham of Salem, and was reunited with her family once again. It was a true Yuletime miracle, the end. Awwww. Okay, I'm glad Mary made it. Because at the beginning you did tell us that actually is pretty dark. It was pretty dark. And God damn it, next time I'm predicting body horror. Yeah, definitely a common theme.

You should have predicted body horror. And yeah, wow. But I thought I was going to win for a second because I was like, yeah, she dies. Yes. Well, you know, I think like there were forms of death for sure. I know. Didn't she? Yeah. Well, I think she died. So a little background, I guess. The creature is called a siren and it's a bird with a woman's face and they often are found singing in the forest. I tied in the whole story to the mythology that I knew of it.

It does kind of sound like the sirens from the Odyssey because those are like birds with women's faces. Yeah, they definitely have the sirens, the harpies, right? A bunch of different cultures. Or maybe it's the harpies that's like birds with women's faces, something, yeah. But yeah. Yeah, I think sirens, I don't know what they are exactly,

but yeah. That's really cool. The Slavic mythology is a siren, which is probably a siren in a way, but yeah. So we have bones and I think we have death too. So I think we have two points here, one for each. I don't know. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I'll take it. I'll take my point. Yeah, I'd say she died. She turned to ash. Yeah. She was reborn only because of the tears

is my understanding of what happens. So yeah. That's super sweet. And what a perfect like yule time story. I love that. That was wonderful and so like also just really fucked up. It was great. It had a little bit of everything. Sleeky and sweet. Yeah. I definitely think that like I think that's always the good fairy tales, you know, even

if it ends on a, it could end on any note, but I definitely think there has to be love and tenderness somewhere. Because of course, if it was just a bleak story, you would feel like soulless at the end of it. And who would want to tell it again and again and again and again, if there wasn't like, a happy ending. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Like happy endings are usually what characterized like fairy tales being worth reading even if they do. Like even if they are really fucked up or if the happy ending is kind of up kind of dubious depending on who you are. The last story I had like a fake out happy ending, you know? Yeah, I did. Which was my... So I thought this would be better to have it like reversed almost, where it's like you think things are going pretty bad at certain times, most of the time. Yep.

And then there's a happy ending at the end, yeah. I mean, Mary is traumatized for sure. I'm a little sad she left Baba Yaga because she's so fun. Yeah. Well, so basically the other aspect of everything is that Baba Yaga will be this like conduit for all these people's like weaving in and out of her life or her story, you know, so Baba Yaga is more like the field in which all these other characters play on. Yeah.

I was just telling Abby last night, I wish I wish that they would make us like a Baba Yaga series. It has so much potential. And it could be, you know, every episode is like a different person interacting with her or even every season. And then they could kind of tie it together. I don't know. I mean, I mean, it could be this. Yeah, maybe I'll try to pitch it. Yeah. Yeah. I need HBO to call Chadwick right now and get this deal going because please, we have enough Cinderella's, we have enough, you know, Robin Hood's or whatever. And even all the attempts of Baba Yaga so far.

Cause like thing about Baba Yaga is that, um, all the things that I'm interjecting with her are things that I'm interjecting with her are things that are kind of like my kooky weirdo personality, I guess, you know, like my humor, you know, being a New Yorker and stuff like that. I feel like that's the kind of thing we want to hear the funny aspect of it. But I feel like truly from my understanding she is just like, it's a lot darker than you think. Like she is not, she's never going to be kind for almost any reason. It's if she's kind, it's like a, uh, uh, effect of something else she does. It's almost like not her intention, you know? So, um, but it may seem like that for a hot second,

but it just never really is. She's all in it for herself and her doings and everything. So, um, that'd be interesting to see like how she interacts with her characters and everything. But yeah, all the other stories I've seen, all the other movies, they paint her as a horror creature almost, from what I've seen. They don't paint her in this, like a lot of warmth at all. But I feel like that's what makes her scary in a sense, because she'll make you think there's something good going to happen with her, and then it's just this bad news, so yeah.

Yeah, that's always kind of been the fun push-pull of Baba Yaga stories, is that she's just like, she's an old crone who lives by herself in the woods, and you can kind of be suckered, like you said, you can kind of be suckered in by that, by that facade, but she's kind of an ancient, like neutral thing that if you're clever enough to survive her, you might get a boon of some kind, but like giving you the boon is not like what she's there for.

Yeah. Yeah, I love the idea of kind of her humor, tricking people into thinking that she's gonna do something for them. Like I just love that, I think that's so fun and such a perfect villain. Like that's so entertaining. Who wouldn't wanna watch, you know, five seasons of that? Yeah, and I think like within the story I wrote too,

I think that I try to make it so that her looks change depending on different aspects of it. So I think that people like, she sees her as her grandma for a moment. So it's almost like you're siding with your captor as well. And you're like relating to your captor. I love how you said she has different faces. Like such a good description. Yeah, and obviously she does, there's like obviously gonna be a lot of like myth and magic around why or how that happened

so you could play with that too. So yeah, super fun. Great job, Chadwick. Amazing story as always. That was so talented, so fun. I can't wait to hear or read in the anthology of the next installment when you get around to writing it. Absolutely. Yeah. It's going to be fun when I'm actually, I'll be moving abroad and living in fairy tale lands.

We booked Christmas. We're going to be in Bremen, Germany. And then we're going up to Denmark. We're going to be in Alborg, I think, or Aarhus. And so yeah, we're going to be in these little fairy tale lands. So I'm sure it'll inspire a lot of fun stories to keep writing. Yes, I hope so. And I bet it will. Do you have anything else you want to tell us about Sirin?

To be honest, I know that they are a bigger part of Russian mythology, but outside of that, the characteristics, I only know their characteristics. I've never read a story of Sirin's themselves. I haven't actually read a story about them, but I've actually had paintings when I was a kid of them. And they were just like really, like actually, you know what's so funny? My whole childhood was full of like really scary paintings

and they were one of them. Yeah. Polish upbringing, so. Yeah. Or even my grandmother on my other side too, from the Caribbean, she basically like had like scary paintings too. I don't know why my family always liked these like dark, deep paintings that like I had no context for and they didn't have any context. They're usually like, Oh, they were just on some ship or something, or like someone got

that gave it to us as a gift. And it's like the creepiest thing, but they have it like all over their house. Um, so anyway, that was one of the paintings. So that's why it's ruminated in my head a lot. So yeah. I love that. That's wonderful. Okay. The story I picked out today, I'm trying to see how, I want to give you three predictions. Why not?

It's not that long, but more chances to win big prizes, big, big prizes. Big prizes. And I really wish this story had a different name. I found it from the Project Gutenberg. It doesn't have another name, so I'm just going to tell you it's called Baba Yaga. Oh, okay. I had to. I had to do it. I do wonder if I might have done this story already.

I freaked out right before I hopped on. I was like, Abby, I think I'm going to pick the same story you read in episode four. But I listened to a little bit of it and I don't think it's the same one. Oh, great. Okay. It's just a different story that's also just called Baba Yaga. Okay. At least I hope it might have some similarities, but I listened to it real fast, just the very end of the story and it sounds different to me. So we're just going to go for it. Perfection.

I mean, there's like a million Baba Yaga stories out there. So a lot of them are probably just called Baba Yaga. Like, here's another encounter with Baba Yaga. So that's already my fairy tale fix for this episode is it needs a new title. And we're gonna find out what that is together. I love it. We'll pick one together. Well, Chadwick, guests first, if you want to make your prediction. All right.

Baba Yaga. I will say that there is a curse involved. Okay. That takes place in the forest. Is that too easy? Yeah, I'm not going to give that one to you. Sorry. Okay. Yeah. I'm also notoriously bad at them, so I'm just trying to get one. What happens in New York City?

Baba Yaga goes New York. Now that's a good story I should write. Yes. I would love that actually. I would love that story. When it was called like what, New Amsterdam or something like that kind of thing. All right. So there is a child.

I don't know. I'm bad at this. Yeah, you can get a child. I don't know, I'm bad at this. Yeah, you can get a child. Absolutely. You never know. And someone, I might just be thinking about my own stories, but someone transforms into some transformation that goes on. I love it. That was such a cool part of your story. I love, I love, God, I love a transformation. Yeah.

Yeah. And I especially love that like the bone just starts growing like first. I love, I've always loved that with like werewolf stories, the description of how like their insides start changing. Yeah. That's what I was thinking about. Yeah. It's so cool. Yeah. That's definitely what I was thinking about. Yeah, it's so cool. Yeah.

Love it. Also, it was a little anamorphcy, which I also always appreciate. Yeah, I love anamorphs. And just the sheer disgusting body horror of the transformation. Yeah, I'm not all about the transformations where it's like a light shines and then they're just like changed or it happens too fast. I like the idea of it being being a little bit like painful. Yeah.

It feels more realistic. You're a step to a real line. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, for my predictions, the protagonist is a young man. Okay. Young man. Young man.

He dies. Young man. Young man. He dies. He dies. Now, I'm changing it to somebody dies. I'm going to predict it until somebody dies. You'll get there. I want some, like, permanently died. I know that technically Mary died in Chapick's story, but- But not enough. She didn't stay dead.

Oh, wait. Now that you say that, there was some undead thing, wasn't there? Something grabbed her in the field. Was that an undead thing? No, I'm sorry. Oh, never mind. I don't know why I had- Oh, yeah, the creature is undead. Your abbey, one of your predictions were undead. Yeah, it was. That's true. That might have been another point there. I don't know. No, she doesn't get that point. It wasn't an undead creature. And she wasn't a creature when she came back from the dead, so it doesn't count. Fine.

Unless our listeners want to argue about it in the comments and tell me. Argue about it. Important food. Always good. I know. I should have predicted important food and not important mushrooms. I was so close though. If you said important food. Berries and wheat.

Yeah. I'll be honest, some of the predictions you guys had inspired me when I was thinking about it for another story, so that's good. Nice, nice. I'm saving those predictions then, but I'm also predicting body more next time. Kelsey puts all of our predictions in her show notes, so we'll just make sure to refer back the next time we have you on. Yeah, exactly.

I save them all. I can add up these points at some point. Someday. We'll find out who's winning. But I haven't yet. OK. Baba Ayyaga. Somewhere, I cannot tell you exactly where,

but certainly in vast Russia, there lived a peasant with his wife, and they had twins, a son and a daughter. One day the wife died and the husband mourned over her very sincerely for a long time. How long is a long time, according to the story? One year, oh, it's going to tell us. One year passed and two years and even longer. But according to whoever wrote this, there is no order in a house without a woman.

The day came when the man thought, if I marry again, possibly it would turn out all right. And so he did and had children by his second wife. That's a respectable amount of time to mourn. Yeah, it's fine. It's time to mourn. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. The stepmother was envious of the stepson and daughter and began to use them hardly. Which I think means like puts them to work. She scalded them without any reason, sent them away from the home as often as she wished,

and gave them scarcely enough to eat. Finally, she wanted to get rid of them all together. Do you know what it means to allow a wicked thought to enter one's heart? The wicked thought. Yes. Yeah, I was like, yes. I have so many wicked thoughts.

Also, it looks like the author was wrong. Just adding a woman to a household does not, in fact, make it run smoother. Oh. He was wrong. He was wrong. He was wrong. Personality really accounts for quite a lot. It really does. Well, Abby, your wicked thoughts grow all the time like a poisonous plant and slowly

kills the good thoughts. A wicked feeling was growing in the stepmother's heart, and she determined to send the children to the witch, thinking sure enough that they would never return. Dear children, she said to the orphans, go to my grandmother who lives in the forest on a hut on Hen's feet. That's mean. That's mean saying it's true.

Oh, my God. This ancient evil forest spirit is my grandmother. A different off to grandmother's house we go, yeah. You will do everything she wants you to and she will give you sweet things to eat and you will be happy. The orphans started out, but instead of going to the witch, the sister, a bright little girl took her brother by the hand and ran to their own old grandmother and told her all about going to the forest. Smart.

So smart. Yes. Love it. Oh, my poor darlings, said the good old grandmother, pitying the children. My heart aches for you, but it is not in my power to help you. You have to go not to a loving grandmother, but to a wicked witch.

Now listen to me, my darlings,' she continued, I will give you a hint. Be kind and good to everyone. Do not speak ill words to anyone. Do not despise helping the weakest and always hope that for you too, there will be the needed help. Okay. So she like explicitly lays out the rules for surviving a fairy tale. Yep. I love it. I love that so much.

Yeah, that's great. Granny's got advice. She's got advice. She won't let you live with her, but she does. I know. Like why didn't she just take them in? She raised her children. She's done. She doesn't want to be a parent anymore. The good old grandmother gave the children some delicious fresh milk to drink and each a big slice of ham. She also gave them some cookies. There are cookies everywhere. And when the children departed, she stood looking after them for a long, long time."

I also love the idea that, like, of course his grandma just has cookies everywhere. Sure. She always has cookies. Yeah. That's grandma for you. That's just firmly in her grandma era. That's just firmly in her grandma era. The obedient children arrived at the forest and oh wonder, there stood a hut and what a curious one. It stood on tiny hen's feet, which makes me laugh because now I'm imagining the hut has like really short ground with like really tiny feet. Regular chicken size. Regular chicken size. Just a regular chicken size. So like that tall? Yeah.

I mean, that's pretty tall. I mean, this would be a tall hen. So it stood on tiny hen's feet, and at the top was a rooster's head. With their shrill, childish voices, they called out, Izbushka, Izbushka, turn thy back to the forest and thy front to us. The hut did as they commanded. I know I love that so much. I always forget that you have to turn thy back to the forest

and thy front to us. I just think that's like an alienation, part of the Baba Yaga folklore. Yeah. The hut did as they commanded. The two orphans looked inside and saw the witch resting there, her head near the threshold,

one foot in one corner and the other foot in another corner, and her knees quite close to the ridge pole. If you remember, Baba Yaga can like, move her parts around. Like she's not always whole, right? Yeah. So I'm imagining this very literally,

like it's just her head near the threshold and her whole foot, like I don't, I'm not imagining them like attached to anything. Yeah. Just floating limbs. Foo, Foo, Foo exclaimed the witch. I feel the Russian spirit. The children were afraid and stood close,

very close together. But in spite of their fear, they said very politely, Oh, grandmother, our stepmother sent us to thee to serve thee. All right, I'm not opposed to keeping you children. If you satisfy all my wishes, I shall reward you. If not, I shall eat you up. Without any delay, I know classic.

These aren't her kids. Without any delay, the witch ordered the girl to spin the thread and the boy, her brother, to carry water in a sieve to fill up a big tub. The orphan girl wept at her spinning wheel and wiped away her bitter tears. At once all around her appeared small mice squeaking and saying, Sweet girl, do not cry. Give us cookies and we will help thee. And the little girl willingly did so. Always help. Fairytale mice. It's the same mice from my story in a different time frame.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. They're like, sometimes little girls pass out food. Now, gratefully squeaked the mice, go and find the black cat. He is very hungry. Give him a slice of ham and he will help thee. The girl speedily went in search of the cat and saw her brother in great distress about the tub. So many times he had filled the sieve, yet the tub was still dry. Magic.

The little birds passed, wait, hold on, sorry. It's like there's birds now, huh? I know, it's just like the little birds passed by, like it had talked about the birds before. It has not. It has not. It has not. But now there are birds and they flew by and chirped to the children, kind-hearted little children, give us some crumbs and we will advise you.

The orphans gave the birds some crumbs and the grateful birds chirped again, some clay and water, children dear, and they fly away through the air. Is that helpful advice? Yes. That they did? The children understood the hint. Okay. Spat in the sieve, plastered it up with clay,

and rilled the tub in a very short time. Oh good, okay. Yeah, so it's making sense. I'm glad they got it. I know, that one part was written a little odd. Then they both returned to the hut and got on the threshold and met the black cat. They generously gave him some of the good ham, which their good grandmother had given them, petted him and asked, Dear kitty cat, black and pretty, tell us what to do in order

to get away from thy mistress, the witch. And this, I'm just imagining the cat's voice from Coraline, which I can't do. Like that really deep like. Right. Well, very seriously answered the cat. I will give you a towel and a comb and then you must run away. When you hear the witch running after you, drop the towel behind your back and a large river will appear in place of the towel. If you hear her once more, throw down the comb and in place of the comb, there will appear a dark wood. This wood will protect you from the wicked witch, my mistress.

Baba Yaga came home just then. I love cats. You can get them to betray anyone for the price of a slice of ham. 100%. Cats are always chaotic neutrals. Absolutely. They always have all the details too and how to do it. They do. They're watching you all the time. Quietly watching, yeah. Yeah.

Is it not wonderful, she thought, Baba Yaga. Everything is exactly right. She's having a good fucking day. I love that. I love that for her. She deserves good days, only good days. Well, she said to the children, today we're brave and smart.

Let's see tomorrow. Your work will be more difficult and I hope I shall eat you up. The poor orphans went to bed, not to a warm bed prepared by loving hands, but on the straw in a cold corner. Nearly scared to death from fear, they lay there afraid to talk,

afraid to even, afraid to even breathe. The next morning, the witch ordered all the linen to be woven and a large supply of firewood to be brought from the forest. The children took the towel and comb and ran away as fast as their feet could possibly carry them. The dogs were after them. And there's dogs now. Baba Yaga has everything. She has hounds. She does.

The dogs were after them, but they threw the cookies that were left, and the gates did not open themselves, but the children smoothed them with oil. The birch tree near the path almost scratched their eyes out, but the gentle girl fastened a pretty ribbon to it. So they went farther and farther and ran out of the dark forest into the wide sunny fields. The cat sat down by the loom and tore the thread to pieces, doing it with delight as Baba Yaga returned.

Where are the children? She shouted and began to beat the cat. No! Why hast thou let them go, thou treacherous cat? Why hast thou not scratch their faces?" The cat answered, "'Well, it was because I have served thee so many years, and thou hast never given me a bite, while my dear children gave me some good ham.'" And that's a great fucking reason. And that's the lesson. That's the lesson, Baba Yaga.

Feed your pets. Then the witch scolded the dogs, the gates, and the birch tree near the path. Well, barked the dogs. Thou certainly art our mistress, but thou hast never done us a favor, and the orphans were kind to us. Whoa. Baba Yaga's getting it. Damn, yeah. Yeah.

She is not getting a great performance review from all of her pets. And then the gates replied, we were always ready to obey thee, but thou didst neglect us, and the dear children smoothed us with oil. And the birch tree, list with its leaves, thou hast never put a simple thread

over my branches, and the little darlings adorn them with a pretty ribbon." Babayaga understood that there was no help and started to follow the children herself. In her great hurry, she forgot to look for the towel and the comb, but jumped a stride on a broom and was off. The children heard her coming and threw the towel in the comb, but jumped astride on a broom and was off. The children heard her coming and threw the towel behind them. At once a river, wide and blue, appeared and watered the field.

Baba Yaga hopped along the shore until she finally found a shallow place and crossed it. Again, the children heard her hurry after them, and so they threw down the comb. This time a forest appeared, a dark and dusky forest, in which the roots were interwoven, the branches matted together, and the treetops touching each other,

through which tried very hard to pass through, but in vain, and so very, very angry, she returned home. The orphans rushed to their father, told him all about their great distress, and thus concluded their pitiful story. Oh, Father dear, why dost thou love us less than our brothers and sisters? The father was touched and became angry.

He sent the wicked stepmother away and lived a new life with his good children. From that time, he watched over their happiness and never neglected them anymore. How do I know the story is true? Why one was there who told me about it. The end. Oh, I loved that it's got the ending of the, I heard it from a friend. Yeah. And I was there. And I was there and I fell asleep and the water was boiling

over. And there I am to this day. And the father did them right. You know you have a problem when inanimate objects have an issue with you. So yeah. Yeah, for real. Yep. She needs to take care of her stuff. She got lazy over the centuries. She just kind of stopped taking care of business at home. She's not too high of herself.

I've never heard a story like that before where Baba Yaga got her come up and sort of ... Uh-huh. Yeah. That was kind of fun. That was cool. Yeah, I love it. That was super fun. I like that. I thought that was neat. I loved the, you know, some of the lore.

This one, she was on a broom instead of a mortar and pestle, which I thought was interesting. She's more of like a classic witch. Mm-hmm. In it. Yeah. Very classic. I always thought she had like, she had both of them. Like she had a broom, she had a broom and a mortar and pestle. Yeah. Very clever. I always thought she had both of them. She had a broom and a mortar and pestle.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I've only ever... Well, I guess I don't know. I guess I've heard it a couple of different ways in a couple of different stories. It's like either or. So I don't really have any fixes for this story. I mean, other than I don't know... I don't remember a time when they were kind to the dogs. I think that part might've gotten left. They threw cookies behind themselves. Oh yeah, that's right. That's right. It seemed more like they were trying to escape and that's the way they did it. But yeah, I guess that's kind of true. Yeah. But that's also partially where like, wow,

Baba Yaga, you've got to get your household together because- You can't feed your pets. The dogs were happy to abandon the chase for a few cookies. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to feed your pets. So I wouldn't really change anything about the story other than the title. Yeah, agreed. What would you call this besides just Baba Yaga?

It could be like Baba Yaga's Bad Day. Oh, I love that. That's great. I think Baba Yaga's Bad Day is a great title for this story. I'm putting that in here. Baba Yaga's Bad Day. Oh my gosh. That's the one.

I love that so much. Great. Yeah. I really can't think of a better one. I was trying to think of something like the two orphans, something, but no, Baba Yaga's bad day is perfect. Baba Yaga's bad day. Her no good, very bad, very bad day.

On another note, I was going to say that that actually came from the fact that I was thinking about, I have a lot of things I need to sell and I was like, should I make an Instagram page called Baba Yaga's Yard Sale? Oh my gosh. I love that. Yes, you should. Yes, you should. I would immediately want to look at that and buy stuff from it. That would catch my attention immediately. Yeah, that's a good idea. That would be cool. Baba Yaga's Yard idea. That's cool. Bobby, how does the art sale? Oh my gosh. I don't know. I guess my only final thought

about that story, especially fixing it for a modern audience perspective, is at the very end, it just does that thing where the kids have an ordeal, they come home, and they tell their quote-unquote good parent about their adventures. He's like, oh, were you being abused? I didn't notice. Yeah. You know dads. Even though you've been gone for a few days. You've been gone for a few days. Before that, I let my second wife work you like dogs. You know what? That's a really good point. But I didn't really care about it until you told me that you didn't like it. And so now I'm sending her away.

But also what happens to his kids with her? Maybe the dogs and the cat and the bird and everybody follows the orphans and I don't know, attack the dad. I kind of want them to go live with their other grandmother. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, and why did she send them to Baba Yaga's hut? Like, did she have to do that? Yeah, she was like, let's see how this pans out. But I love the grandma gives fairy tale advice. I think that's nice. I love that part too much to want to change it because I like that she gives them the explicit rules. But I guess I would want to see an ending where

the father apologizes to his children. Yeah. The thing about the grandmother is that, maybe it was like a matter of danger for her to like intervene. Oh, I like that. What if the stepmother, what if Baba Yaga really is the stepmother's

grand grandmother? No, that's interesting. And she's a witch and she bewitched the dad in the first place. That's the whole other story. That's the answer. That's great. Okay, I'm satisfied.

And the grandma knows this, the good grandmother knows this. So she has to send the kids to help break the curse or whatever, I don't know. Yes, no, that's good. That fixes all my, that fixes all the plot holes. And then maybe for the modern audience, the grandma doesn't just happen to have cookies. Maybe she has like a YouTube, like a cottage core, like content creator vibe or like, at least a business. She's got a cooking show. She doesn't casually just make cookies for random, you know, family members who might come by. I've, okay, I love that too. Okay, Grandma has a cooking

show. It's very much like my grandmother. I feel like nowadays, my grandma hasn't got a life. I call her and she might be very busy. She's like, I'm too busy for you. She doesn't have time to raise two kids. Right. I don't blame Granny for not taking... Granny raised her kids. She's young. She has a life. She did her time. I'm just saying if my niece showed up and was like, I was being sent to a witch, I'm like, no, sorry, you gotta go. I feel like that's a little fucked up. Yeah, totally. But if it's because it's got to break the curse to get her, their father back to normal.

Mm-hmm. Like, then there's like more of a reason. I like that a lot. I don't know. No, no, I think that makes perfect sense because then that like, it's a good like story flow. And then doing this breaks the curse on their household. Mm-hmm.

I love that Baba Yaga is actually related to evil stepmother too. I feel like there's usually never a reason why it's like if a stepmother is mentioned, she's evil, you know? And that's just it is what it is. But it's good to have some backstory conceptually. Yeah. Right. That she's actually the daughter of know, the daughter of a evil forest deity. And she's... That's badass. Yeah. Which is pretty awesome.

So I want more stories about that too. Absolutely. That's part of the Baba Yaga series. Yeah. Yeah, that could be adapted. I like it. Well, I think we really nailed this episode. We sure did. This was so good. This was- They have a lot of people, a lot of, I mean, people, a lot of Baba Yaga content there.

I know, yeah. Happy fucking October and safety season. We're in it now. It's the best month of the year. Welcome. The best month of the year. I just, and I love that we, I love that both of you, that we got a classic Baba Yaga story and we got a new Baba Yaga story and that just- All the body horror. And I just got to sit here and enjoy.

You're welcome people. Yeah, you're welcome, Abby. All right. Well, remind everyone where they can find you, Chadwick. If they want to follow you on Instagram and TikTok, you've been doing some amazing TikToks. I've been enjoying it very much. Oh, thank you. The truth of the matter is that it's always shifting and changing. So catch me when, catch me all you can, you know. So currently it's at ChadwickTree on Instagram and currently at MossyFableTattoo on Instagram. And TikTok is something, Chadwick Tree on Instagram and currently at Mossy Fable Tattoo on Instagram. And TikTok is something, Chadwick Tree, I believe.

But yeah, it might change. But if you look up Chadwick Tree or Chadwick Kieberg, my legal name, then you will find me somewhere somehow. Sounds good. And we'll also plug it in our socials and stuff so people are able to just head on over. Thank you. Cool. Yeah. Thank you so much. It was so fun. All right. Yeah. Thank you for coming back on. We really appreciate you giving us the update to Mary and her life.

Yeah, absolutely. And hopefully I could do it again. And I'm so happy that I got to be your first reoccurring guest. You should be our first reefer too. Literally come back whenever you want. And I'll be in a different country, or a different region of the world every time. You'll change time zones every single time we do this. You can give us the hottest weather corner update.

Maybe even if I'm savvy enough, I could get a really cool like medieval background in there somehow. That'd be fun. Because Lufen is like a little medieval village, so it'd be cool. Can't wait to see. This is what I want. That is what I am hoping to see. All right.

So chapter three is coming your way. Excellent. I am hoping to see. All right. So chapter three is coming your way. Excellent. And with those two excellent stories, we're out for the day. Thank you so much for listening to Fairy Tale Fix, everybody. Remember to rate, review, subscribe. It really helps our little indie podcast a ton when you rate the show on Apple and Spotify. My podcatcher, Pocket Casts, just added a rating system as well, so you should go rate us there.

I rated us five stars, as should you. This encourages the almighty algorithm to recommend our show to other people. So it'd really help us out a lot if you do that for us. It's also free. If you wanna support us monetarily, first of all, thank you. We appreciate you. You can do that at patreon.com slash fairy tale fix pod. You can get bonus episodes, stickers, other fun content. You get to vote on our episode titles now. We've started

doing that and that's always a lot of fun for everybody. So go ahead over there and check it out. You can also find us on Instagram and Facebook and occasionally TikTok at Fairytale FixPod where we post fairy tale art, clips from the show, important updates, and other cool stuff. Thanks again for listening. And while Chadwick's story was absolutely perfect and needs no fixes, I did forget to ask what was the second title option that was going to give it away? So actually, it was just the Siren. So it was the name of the creature. Yes. Nice. Okay. All right.

So I figured if I said just that, you'd have no hint whatsoever what was happening. Because if you didn't know the creature, but if you did, you would know. Yeah, yeah. Well, One-Armed Two Wings is also a great title. So very mysterious. Initially it was called a One-Armed Mary, which I thought was really funny. Oh, what is it?

Oh. Yeah. So we'll see when I actually make the book, we'll see what happens. All right. And for Baba Yaga's Bad day, it got retitled to a much better title, but that's what we're calling it now. And also-

The wicked stepmother. Yeah, the stepmother was actually the granddaughter of Baba Yaga, so that's why she's so evil and put the father in a horrible curse. And the grandmother sent the children to Baba Yaga's hut anyway, the good grandmother, because they had to break the curse to free their father. And by being kind to all of her pets, the Baba Yaga was obviously not feeding and not taking care of her stuff.

Absolutely. The hut needs maintenance. Mm-hmm. You know? Yep. And so they all lived happily ever after. The end. The end.