Fairy Tale Fix - Listener Tales 03

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

Abbie and Kelsey read your stories! This third Listener Tales episode includes some fun, ultra-modern fairy tale fixes, Hawaiian stories from Grandma, and a few translated Franz Xavier Schönwerth tales from our wonderful German listener.

we could cut this out if we want to stop talking about disney plus so much oh god damn it i know What you drinking? I am drinking a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Going classic today. Very nice. I bought a lot of Guinness for St. Patrick's Day. Oh, yes. Because that is when we are recording this episode. Yeah.

And, you know, you'll get it in a few weeks. But yeah, I bought a lot of Guinness and so I'm finishing it up. And it is delicious. I bought a lot of Guinness, but I don't have any more. So. Somehow it all disappeared, which is crazy. Where could it have gone?

Crazy. I don't know how that happened. Wild. It got stolen by a brownie. That sounds accurate. Maybe Adam left it out as an offering. I actually wanted to tell you. So,

um, oh man, maybe I shouldn't talk about this cause it's more Disney stuff. I know. I've been trying to not talk about Disney so much. They just have so much good stuff. So I'm going to tell you anyway. So I took a few days off and I watched The Luck of the Irish, which is like a Disney Channel original movie. I remember watching this and i watched it because i love timothy almondson he's lassiter in psych and he is uh king richard in gallivant yes and i fucking love him the role of a lifetime because of a tweet he made recently or he retweeted

somebody and reminded me that he's the bad guy in that. And I remember that it was about a kid who's Irish and he has Irish luck or something. But I forgot that it's because he's not just Irish. He's half leprechaun. Oh my god.

And the whole movie, it's ridiculous, but it's also so funny what made me laugh actually one of the things that the irish grandfather was saying was and if your heart is as hard as an irish landlord it made me laugh because he has so many like irish stories about how much they hate landlords. Oh my God. That, for real though, like so many stories about why landlords are the worst. It's so funny. And Timothy Amundsen's so young in it. He's such a good, bad guy. Yeah.

But he's not really bad. I mean, he's just, that's just how leprechauns are, aren't they? I don't know. They're tricksy. they're mischievous i don't know if it was a totally accurate depiction of the fae but it was funny and i would i would be very surprised if it was accurate at all really i mean tricky they're tricky and he's just so cute. I love him. God, luck of the Irish. I haven't seen that. Yeah, it was good.

Since I was a kid. I laughed a lot. The problem is, is that Disney created so much stuff that is just a part of our cultural everything. Now, it's hard not to talk about Disney. This is the problem with like a monopoly is they just kind of have a monopoly on everything. You can't talk about Star Wars or Marvel movies or anything without talking about Disney anymore. Yep. Yeah. Even all the stuff that's not Disney is like ending up on Disney plus Anastasia and. Yeah. Cause they bought up like Fox or something.

So even, even all of those beloved childhood movies that were not Disney animated movies are still ending up under the Disney umbrella. They're taking over the world. That's bad. That's all kinds of wrong. But it's also I do love these movies. That movie's still good. I enjoyed myself quite a bit. Yep.

Just takes me straight back to being in junior high and junior high was rough. Yes. It was real rough. I mean, i met in junior high actually yeah it was the one bright point of two drama class horrible years yes naturally naturally obviously where we belong drama nerds really oh kelsey you actually shared this great picture of the two of us that I'm pretty sure we took a selfie with an actual camera. With my disposable camera.

Yeah. In, I think, our drama class in... I have other pictures. It was health class, but it was in one of those buildings. That's why I thought it must have been drama because I blocked out... All of my least favorite classes except drama were in those like, quote unquote, temporary classrooms. That's where I had math and that's where I had health. Yep.

Yeah, I was in health class. I remember because Ben's that right next to us. Yeah, everybody is like in high school is kind of a jerk. And there are the very few that just aren't jerks to anybody, and they're always awesome? I do have some vague memories. He was really shy? Of a shy, gentle giant. Gentle giant, yeah.

Yes. Oh, yeah. I loved him. He was just the sweetest guy, and he was so shy. And it was funny because I love to bug him because I was not shy. Basically everyone I became friends with in junior high and high school, I think I annoyed them into liking me. Actually, yes. I remember you just adopted people. It was nice. I love you. I'm going to bug you until you like me. As someone who was painfully shy. It was really nice to have someone just adopt me. Yeah, just to just feel like,

hi, we're friends now. Like, oh, thank God. Okay. I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know how to do that. Oh, also, fun fact, Kelsey scared the shit out of me in junior high school. I was this naive, little sheltered horse girl when I arrived in junior high. And Kelsey was in a major goth phase. Yeah. And I didn't know what to do with that. Black lipstick, fishnets, All that stuff. It was great. All that stuff. Studded belt safety pins on all of your clothes.

The movie The Craft where they get off the bus and he's like, watch out for weirdos. And she looks back and she's like, we are the weirdos. That was me. That's like the energy I was exuding absolutely and i was much more i was a much more of a what was her name robin like the the girl that comes to the school in the beginning of the movie that that the witches basically adopt and then she becomes a badass witch with them that was i think that was me sarah why did i think her actress's name is robin i bet i think the actress's name is Robin. And I thought that was a cooler name. So I just remember the actress's name is Robin. She played Sarah Bailey. She played Sarah. Okay, but I like Robin better as a name. No offense to Sarah's out there. Sarah's are great. Sarah's a wonderful name. Robin's definitely less popular, I think. Yeah, I was definitely a lot like Nancy, probably.

Yeah. Yeah, you're a bit of a Nancy. I wanted to be Bonnie, but... Yeah, Bonnie kind of was the best out of all of them. How good is the craft? I loved Rochelle, too. That whole movie is just amazing. That was a great cast. Yeah, great movie.

Did they remake it? They did something. But I'm kind of, I didn't really want to look into it because it felt very young. And I just don't know if I'm ready for all the remakes. That was the energy I was exuding. Yes. And I did not know what to do with that at all. I liked it. I thought it looked cool, but I didn't know what to do with it. So I'm really grateful that you adopted me.

Kelsey used to make me go on long walks with her. Well, we also became closer. So we met in drama in junior high, and then we became better friends in high school because we were also in drama in junior high and then we became better friends in high school because we were also in drama in ninth grade i was not an easy high school student either so but yeah i remember like practicing lines and we thought it was funny because no one knew what the hell we were talking about because it sounded so weird because it was like from a play and it was oh i remember the the skit we were practicing too, because it was one where you were playing my mom. Mm-hmm. And we were having like a really intense argument.

Yeah, you were my lesbian daughter. Yes. But we also had like a secret. There was a body in the closet that you had, and that's how we were playing the scene in our minds. It wasn't in the script at all but we were playing it that way because we were weird did miss jensen tape these because i want sometimes i want can i have a coffee because we were probably being such weird assholes that i want to see it definitely oh man it also makes me laugh because i was just such a terrible, like, I don't think I ever really

enjoyed acting. Like I never wanted to be in any plays. I just liked the people and the classes were fun. Yeah. Drama was always just a nice break, even if you didn't covet the spotlight. I did. I coveted the spotlight. I deeply resented everyone who was ever cast in a better, more prestigious role than me. Deeply, deeply resented them. Anyway. We have some new patrons. We do. Yay.

Let's talk about that. Yeah. We're really excited to welcome them to the Fairytale Fix fam. That sounded really dorky, didn't it? It did. It sounded. But I'm dork. I am very dorky didn't it it did it sounded but like but i but i'm i'm dork i am very like dorkily excited about it that anybody wants to join our patreon team we really

appreciate you it really makes this possible for us to do it's it's worth it in and of itself, but it certainly makes the financial cost of it easier to do. Yep, absolutely. So we want to thank our two newest patrons, Christopher Otto and Jen Bethel. Thank you so much for joining. We really appreciate it. Thank you, Chris and Jen. Christopher Otto is really exciting

because he actually wrote the introduction for one of our Ruth Manning Sanders fairy tale books yeah yeah he wrote the introduction to the book of witches which I'm really excited about and I think one of our bonus episodes will include one of those stories pretty soon

oh my Kelsey's waggling her eyebrows I think we're going to record that one tomorrow yeah we're going to do that one tomorrow Iling her eyebrows. I'm really excited. I think we're going to record that one tomorrow. Yeah, we're going to do that one tomorrow. I read it today. So I'm really excited to tell you guys about it. It was a great story. Yes.

So Chris and Jen, thank you so much for joining us. And of course, thank you to all of our other patrons, Julia, Adam, Noah, Ricky, Elizabeth, Cynthia and Bill, Angel and Dustin. You guys are the best. So it's April and we are kicking off our fantastic fund drive. Twice a year, we get super fixated on getting people to join our Patreon. We bully you a little bit. We talk it up a lot more. We desperately beg. We bemoan our sorry fates as as poor podcasters oh what was we also make it super super worth it by giving you great stuff like there's that two

episodes yes you get a bonus episode if you sign up at the six dollar a month tier so that's that's like a latte a month if you care to support us. You get all of our episodes early on Sunday. Yep. And then as you kind of go up higher, you get free merch. You get one-on-one hangout time with the two of us if you're into that. And as a special thank you for everybody who signs up this month, we are going to be doing a giveaway TBD on the exact details, but keep an eye on our social media as well as

our other episodes that come out this month for more information. But essentially, we'd just really appreciate it if you signed up. We have great rewards and it helps us keep the show going. Yeah, you can check it out at fairytalefix.cash and for more info on the giveaway at the end of the month, you can check it out at fairytalefix.cash.

And for more info on the giveaway at the end of the month, follow us on Instagram and Twitter at fairytalefixpod. Well, with that business out of the way, let's get into it. So for my first listener tale, it's not exactly a listener tale, but we got a really great comment from It's in the Kinala on Reddit. And they said, you guys are freaking amazing. I'm a POC and the way you remain respectful when telling fairy tales and folklore from different countries, in my case, Eastern, really makes my heart happy. I can't wait for more episodes. Also, I wanted to send an email to you guys about some different interpretations of popular fairy tales. And I've seen that you might be interested in.

For example, Pied Piper takes place in a subway and Hansel and Gretel end up cooking their parents. Is that something you'd be interested in? Yes. And the answer is absolutely. So this comment, oh my gosh, it made us so happy to hear because we both agree that it's so important to be respectful of other cultures. And we are always here to listen if we make a mistake. So I wanted just to take an opportunity to say that while we absolutely love all of the praise, we really appreciate it. And that like I said, that comment just made us both so happy to hear. And like I said, that comment just made us both so happy to hear. We want to extend an open invitation to let us know when we do mess up because we're not perfect and it will probably happen. So please feel comfortable emailing us and letting us know.

We appreciate kindness and understanding. Yes. We do want to know when we mess up. I appreciate this comment so much because it is really important to me because especially you know we're two western european descended white ladies so when whenever we're telling a story that's not sort of directly in that vein we're we're a little out of our lane and we it's really important to us that uh we continue to be respectful of these stories from cultures that are not our own thanks for the comment yeah thank you

we really appreciate it and uh definitely please send us all of the twisted fairy tales all the things anything you think might even be remotely interesting, we definitely want to hear about it. I've been telling Abby this a lot lately, but in my opinion, Fairytale Fix is really just like a giant fairytale folklore book club that we are participating in. And we want you guys to participate as well. So send us your favorite versions of the stories, your own fixes, So send us your favorite versions of the stories, your own fixes, alternate fairy tale stories. That's kind of our bread and butter. Bring everything you want to book club.

We are very excited to hear about it, especially I love alternate takes on stories. Really lights my fire. Hansel and Gretel eating their own parents because they absolutely deserve that. I would love to hear that story. I love that so much. The Pied Piper clearing all the rats out of the subway. Sounds like a modern, like a really messed up modern retelling

and I really, I like it. I like it. Is he in New York? Does he lead all of the children out of New York? Is there a dystopian novel that follows? There's gotta be, I'm sure. I want it. Is he in New York? Does he lead all of the children out of New York? Is there a dystopian novel that follows? There's got to be. I'm sure. I want it.

I want it. Yes. Please send that to us in short. My turn. Yes, please. My letter is from the incredible Maria. We love her so much. She is our expert on plants that we turn to when we have plant related questions. And she also wrote us an email.

really more into fairies than fairy tales. I was weirdly into the Rumpelstiltskin story for a bit. For an alternate take on that, I highly recommend listening to LeVar Burton read Little Man on his podcast, LeVar Burton Reads, which beats you to it, Maria. She actually wrote me on Instagram after listening to that episode and being all like, oh man, I just wrote you an email about that. But yes, I I mean super same

I said it in the Rumpelstiltskin episode but I will say it again Little Man is a great story from Rumpelstiltskin's perspective and LeVar Burton has just a voice that is so very smooth and soothing and you should go listen to LeVar Burton

reads definitely putting that on my list for sure yes oh do it reading rainbow for grown-ups it's perfect i also had this book about ballets based on legends and i absolutely loved the firebird story maria i did not know that was a ballet there's a firebird ballet i really want to see it i knew i knew that swan lake was one and i think that's a russian fairy tale but firebird i didn't know they did a ballet on that now i really want to watch it yeah that sounds awesome do you remember events and things events and things yeah like actually going to see like oh oh you mean play. Oh, you mean outside? Yeah, I mean like the way things used to be.

I don't remember. Before a pandemic. I went to go get my first vaccine shot the other day and they have a really small little vaccination room and it made me nervous being in there so close to the guy that was giving me the shot. I don't understand how to be in public spaces with people anymore. What do I do with my hands? What do I do with my hands? Keep them to yourself

is the answer. That's always been the answer, by the way. Yeah. Oh, geez. Anyway. Some of us need to hear that. It's me. I think us need to hear that me i think i need to kelsey kelsey keep your hands to yourself okay okay except when it comes to me you can hug me a lot thank you you can pet me if you want to. Maria continues. I think Kelsey mentioned doing Firebird and I am excited to hear it.

But mostly I was totally obsessed with these flower fairy books I had by Cicely May Barker. I think I totally read those too. It was full of absolutely gorgeous, botanically accurate drawings of flowers and fairies with clothes made from parts of the flowers. I definitely had this book. Oh my gosh. I need to see this book. I wish I still had it. It is so beautiful. And Maria says that I'm still super into plants and face stuff. Same. Oh yeah, absolutely. Absolutely same. We didn't do a whole lot of storytelling as a family other than mostly true stories about my great grandpa. So I

don't. Okay, we can do share. Send those too. Yeah, send those too. What are the mostly true stories about your great-grandpa that you were still telling them a couple generations on? I must know. So I don't really have any cultural stories to remember from my childhood. Insert rant about white American Christianity erasing erasing culture we told bible stories instead although to be honest some of that shit is wild and would totally be at home with any other tall tales if people didn't get mad at any suggestion of treating it like a myth you said it you said it so we didn't have to. Yep. Thank you, Maria.

No arguments here. I do, however, have one folktale my siblings and I all loved that the music teacher would play in our elementary school. It's called Abiyoyo, and the version many Americans are familiar with was popularized by Pete Seeger. But I just learned that he based it off of a South African folktale. It's a funny story to listen to, so I recommend finding a recording on YouTube. Thanks for the podcast. It makes me laugh and gasp and feel feelings, often what the fuck feelings, but those are still feelings. Maria. Thank you, Maria. That was amazing.

This letter is making me feel feelings. And those feelings are what started this podcast. Those what the fuck feelings. That's exactly what we were hoping everybody would feel too. And just stand in amazement, in awe at these stories. If you ever watched, you know, a Disney fairy tale and you were like,

oh, like this, this needs to change. This ending is way off. That's, that's what we were talking about like in high school and sort of how and progressed the older we got and here we are our obsession instead of getting over it and growing up our obsession only got deeper

especially because as you get older you realize just how right you were the whole time yeah um there's no yeah absolutely also a little bit how right my mom was the whole time yeah there's some of that there's some of that but you know not as much as i was not as much as you might think i love you mom all right well my next listener tale is from our good friend caroline and yay caroline she's mighty fine she is mighty fine caroline says hello you wonderful ladies i just listened to the billy goats gruff and rumple still skiniltskin episode, and I loved it. Thank you. As I do all of your episodes, of course. As I was listening to the politically correct version

of the Billy Goats Gruff, I thought of a way to maybe modernize that story to be hilarious. So for present day, the troll could be an internet troll, and the goats would presently be named sheeple which is perfect that is really amazing uh she continues not sure if you get where i'm going with this oh i think we do oh we we get it caroline but i imagined an internet exchange of some sort or a digital or bridge that the goats or sheeple are trying to build amongst the land to teach modern inclusive ideologies.

But the internet troll does all in his power to attempt to spread misinformation and gobble up all of the truthful information and or good intentions that the goats or sheeple are trying to spread and abide by. goats, or sheeple are trying to spread and abide by. And in the end, they all fall into the abyss and lose their true identities, only to live happily never after. Oh my god. Hope you like my imaginings. I know it's terrible, but I love you both. Caroline. We love you too.

And that's perfect. that was great yeah i want a whole fairy tale book with like modern like super like super ultra modern fairy tales like that would be really fun yeah fairy tales for the digital age yeah um we'll let caroline write some of them copyright we're gonna copyright copyright we're stealing it actually yeah caroline that was that was awesome i love that idea that's hilarious happily i love happily happily never after what a what a perfect uh send off for digital age fairy tales maybe that should be our new sign off happily never after happily never after tm it's ours no one can steal it including caroline but we'll thank you in the forward don't worry maybe thanks caroline that was awesome and great and you're as ever fucking hilarious funny and smart and pretty we love you so we also got a letter from

ricky uh who is one of our patrons he is our favorite he is the best patron ricky he's incredible and he wrote us an email entitled hawaiian stories from grandma i'm also really excited because i saw this email and i avoided reading it because you did tell me yes i wanted to hear you tell me it. I'm so stoked. Beautiful. Okay. Ricky says, love the shows. I've been wanting to participate more for sure. Wanted to share a couple of crazy stories that my grandma used to tell us. She grew up in Hawaii and has a ton of ghost stories and legends that she'd find pleasure in telling us and making us terrified.

Amazing. Your grandma sounds like the best. Yeah, she sounds pretty rad. It's the best kind of story. So, okay. So there's two stories. The first one is called The Night Marchers. And he just basically gives like little summaries for each of these.

The Night Marchers is a story about ghost warriors that would roam the night. My grandma said that if you whistled at night or slept with your feet facing the door, it would be an invitation for them to come and make you part of their group. Why? That's so specific. I know. I think like, Ricky, was this to get you to shut up? Did you whistle a lot as a kid? Was she trying to get you to shut up?

Be honest. But he also says, i still don't whistle at night that reminds me of my aunt's like thing at the table with the bed story okay maybe not maybe there's just something like about whistling stories that's just in like the the the human hindin that we just come up with this stuff. That draws evil spirits. Are they evil spirits though or just? Just ghost warriors. I don't, it doesn't say if they're evil or not. Ricky, please feel free to write back and give clarification on are the ghost warriors evil

or was it just that they were like ghosts? And that's, I mean, honestly, that's scary enough. Yep. That's awesome though. I love that. So the next story is Menehune. If you look up this legend, it has nothing to do with how I remember my grandmother telling it to us. She would tell us that these were basically mischievous leprechaun type creatures. So when a sock would go go missing it was the menehune's she would basically explain away anything she didn't have an answer for on them and their sneaky thieving ways i love it so much we'll have to look up some actual menehune legends and tell those oh yeah so you know but i yeah uh it's ricky if you have a story that is

a little closer to what your grandmother said or told you as a kid definitely send it to us yes yeah that sounds awesome these creatures sound especially if you're if your grandma reinterpreted them to just be like oh yeah they're're just like these mischievous little leprechaun type things. And they come and they just steal things because they're tricky. My favorite kind of creatures. Mine too. The best stories are always about them. Ricky continues.

Plus countless ghost stories from the islands, which are always fun. Please, Ricky, share more at the islands, which are always fun. Please, Rikki, share more at your leisure. Continue to write us. Yeah, you're going to leave it at that, Rikki? Come on. More ghost stories, please. He said, wanted to share and be a part of the awesomeness you both are creating. Keep up the great work, Rikki. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Rikki. You're awesome. And this was awesome. More ghost stories, please. Yes, please. Elaborate.

Elaborate. Thank you kindly. Thank you. We need so much more information. All right. My next listener tale is from Anita. She wrote, Hello, I'm a listener from Germany and I think your podcast is great. I read much longer versions of these tales as a kid and also watched a lot of plays on the kids TV channel Kika or ZDF. I am really enjoying remembering the stories from my childhood and hearing new aspects about them, which I cannot believe that we have a German listener. Thank you. Yeah.

I'm like, am i blushing because we do we tell a lot of german stories on this podcast so the fact that like oh my gosh an actual german person likes it yes thank you thank you um so she continues anyways the reason I am writing this mail is that you mentioned new fairy tales from Franz Xavier von Schoenworth that aren't translated yet. So I was really excited and read a few of them on this website. And it is a website, schoenworth.de, Franz Xavier von Schoenworth. And I will post it in our show notes. And she translated them for us and she says they're quite short. I hope you like it. Of course, you can read this on your podcast if you'd

like to. Best wishes, Anita. You are the best. Thank you so much. Yes. Thank you so much. And we are absolutely going to read them on the podcast. I'm actually going to read, I'm going to read one called The Singing Tree. It's a very short fairy tale, but I think everybody's going to really like it because it is awesome. Are you ready? I am ready. Hit me. Okay. The Singing Tree. A dressmaker, quick and young, walked through the woods. Suddenly, he heard a lovely singing. After a long search, he comes upon a tree on a green clearing from which the whisper-like singing seems to come from. He was plagued by his high spirits. He took his needle and stung and stabbed it into the bark because he wanted to see what the matter was with this tree, which seems rude.

Okay. dude. Okay. The needle halted in one place of the bark and became a key and a tree sprang open like a door, devoured the dressmaker and gulped him down the wide throat. Oh no. That's why you don't stab it. Yeah,

exactly. The tailor lost his sight and hearing and he lost all consciousness, but it didn't take long. He regained consciousness and he laid in a chamber, which shimmered like frost and crystals crying. He rolled himself together into a tight bundle, but took a scissors at last and hit a hole into the wall. He climbed through it and fell into another cave inside the tree.

When scissors everywhere began to move, scissors graded on scissors. Oh, I know. It sounds like a nightmare. I don't want that. I don't want that. The dressmaker feared for his life.

The needles had poked his body like a sieve and the scissors had cut his clothes into shreds. Then an old hot iron came to his mind. With this, he hit through the wall and again climbed through the hole. He fell again, but this time into the bushes of the rose hips and hawthorn. On top of all this bad luck, a storm

was approaching. Soon it rained thick and heavy hot irons. Holy! What? What? Yeah, this guy's day sucks. Holy. So the, yeah, this guy's day sucks.

Yeah. Don't, don't stab trees. I think. Is the moral of this story. Leave, leave it alone. So the tailor who is smashed brown and blue,

fought himself out of the Hawthorne crawled into a hollow tree, and thought he would get a bit of rest. But masses of thin red ants came. They pinched and pinched. And Anita says, in German, those are two different words, zwitgen and zwatgen. Okay. Which I love. I love it. Pinched and pinched.

Zwitgen and zwatgen. So it was like two different types of pinching? I guess. I have questions. Okay. That's love. I love it. Pinched and pinched. He's reaching in his weapon. So it was like two different types of pinching? I guess. I have questions. Okay. That's awesome though. But the tailor was miserable. So he ached, sneezed, and spit and cleared his throat.

And he would have loved to run away if the iron rain outside hadn't hit him dead if he did. So the tailor caw, jumped, and scratched and swore to God to never ever maltreat a twig nor a tree wantonly again. Okay. If he just let him live this time. Right then and there the rain stopped and the tailor ran away and out of the forest. The end.

Perfect. No edits. That's great. Yes, absolutely. No edits. Oh, red ants. That is a perfect moral. And I'm sure that Maria, if she's listening to this episode, will agree. You should not poke trees with your sword. Absolutely not.

Just don't do it. Leave it alone. Thank you, Anita, for translating that. It was awesome. Yeah, that was an incredible story. Thank you for that um and i uh i'm taking the um there are two more stories here that i'm going to go ahead and read uh that anita so kindly translated for us i know thank you so much we absolutely love this email

yes it's just it's perfect all of like this is just such a perfect day to have all of these emails and comments. Okay. So this one is called the dumb woman slash wife or the cracking path. And Anita put a note in here that in German, the word was not wife, but an old term for, for women, which is weeb, which is a kind of insult. Awesome. So it's the dumb weeb. Yeah, whatever particular insult that means. Which, promising.

Promising stuff. It is a what the fuck fairy tale. It really is. Once there were two old people, but without kids and the wife was a bit silly slash dumb slash foolish. I imagine there were a few different translations of the word. But I think silly is my favorite. The wife was a bit silly. Her husband once sent her to the market to sell lard. It was very hot and the path was cracked from the great heat. As the wife saw those cracks, she thought,

oh, you poor road. Those cracks must hurt you like my hands and feet hurt me. Aw. Aw. So she's silly, but she's compassionate. And as all humans, she anthropomorphizes everything.

Yep. Therefore, she took the lard and brushed it into the clefts of the path until the lard was used up and then she walked home. The husband asked her if the lard sold well. Oh, my husband, she said. I came upon a path that was full of wounds and no one took pity on him. Full of compassion. I took the lard that you gave me and stroked it into the road to lessen its pain.

You dumb devil, grumbled the man. You'll make me poor with your clumsiness. The end. I mean, I imagine that's exactly what happened. I love that. It's just so like short. It's just a short, it's like a little anecdote. The husband probably tells this at dinner parties. Who patched up the road. I do like this in a way because most of the time when you read a story about just sort of a very

foolish person who doesn't do what their spouse tells them to. It's usually gender flipped. It's usually a woman trying to get her husband to do something at all, like anything, anything smart, anything reasonable, sell a cow, like anything reasonable to help the family. And it's usually like her simpleton husband or son who just like can't get with it. So I do like this that it's kind of a gender flip on that trope. That was very fun. The next story that Anita sent us, and I am so sorry, I don't recognize that letter and I'm poorly educated in how other languages work. So I am going to pronounce this wrong. Anita, I am so sorry. I blame my American upbringing. I'm just

going to... I wouldn't know either. I'm blaming it on the school system. Feel free to send us another email. I'm an adult and I could have learned a lot. Yes. Prince Robswifle. And Robswifle is an old word for mistcoffer, which means dung beetle. So that's promising. Again, very promising title. Very exciting. A poor girl had a sick mother for whom she wanted to run to the doctor very quickly. As she jumped over a large

stone slab in the corridor she slipped and almost trod on a rob's wiffle a dung beetle with pain over her dislocated foot she complained who was going to run to the doctor now oh before my mother Sit on me, the beetle hummed. Whoa. Interesting. Yeah, all right. The girl was very shocked by the strange voice and cried even more. That makes sense. Suddenly, the beetle roared beneath her. It stretched out its wings and raised her up and carried her like lightning to the doctor and the pharmacist and back home to the sick mother they had good health care in germany for a long time sounds nice i'm just this is giving me intense bitterness um there was a doctor and a pharmacist and they just gave her stuff okay so

they went to the doctor and the pharmacist and ran back home to the sick mother you have to feed your horse too that she said to the daughter as she ate bread and drank water yes where did my little horse go said the girl looking around and out of the window then she saw a rider galloping across the country oh that's the blue prince called the mother as if she'd seen an old friend again. The door flew open immediately, and the prince entered, young and shiny and handsome. Shiny. Shiny.

I just imagine when a really beautiful person in an anime comes into the scene for the first time, and their skin is usually literally twinkling. Or any introduction of a female character on scrubs like every single one of them yes walks in with a wind machine usually like licking her lips and yeah that's this guy uh he greeted his mother with joy then looked at the girl held out his hand to her and said you have redeemed me and i therefore thank you with everything i have and the girl looked at the prince and her mother in disbelief she was also afraid of the strange man but he told

his story for many years more than trees have stood in the forest. I have been a beetle and dust and rubbish, trampled, battered, tormented, and battered because I did the same to animals when I was a boy. Oh, yeah, that tracks. That tracks. I wonder if the fairy from Prince Darling got to him too. As a punishment, I have been changed and had to suffer like them but you had pity on me the insignificant dung beetle and with that you redeemed me i ask you mother for the hand of this angel who redeemed me are there two mothers are they siblings because i'm not sure i'm gonna go on faith that it's that it's not her mother and that it's just uh just just something the girl turned pale the mother and daughter were very touched what's going on here i think it was he greeted the mother with joy it was just a mistranslated

word from earlier maybe so the mother and daughter were very touched then the prince pushed open the window and blew the horn. The mountains carried the echo far over the woods, and chariots and horses rolled out of it. It was the prince's court. As a result, the sick mother recovered, and her daughter, who was rosy and beautiful again, gladly accepted the prince's offer. Soon the wedding was held, with the mosquitoes fiddling, the birds singing, and everyone who had feet, big and small, danced and jumped. I love that. Yeah, that's so sweet. That's very sweet. Mosquitoes fiddling at the bird singing and everyone who had feet big and small danced and jumped. I love that. Yeah, that's so sweet.

That's very sweet. But I love the idea that his court is now comprised of both humans and animals. Mm hmm. Yes. I like that he was turned into a dung beetle for being, you know, unkind to other animals. Yes. Yeah. Princess are constantly getting punished by fairies and witches i yeah i just wonder when i hear stories like this i'm just like men have been like this

a long time haven't they yes yes i think that is safe to say. He needs to be cursed so that he understands. Well, that was amazing and wonderful. Thank you so, so much, Anita, for translating those for us. They were really fun. Yeah, that was really fun. I loved those. Yeah, and like I said, I will post that link onto our show notes,

although it is all in German. So I don't know if there is like Google Translate. So we might be able to read some of them that way, though. Yeah. There's got to be people who took the time to learn a second language out there. Absolutely. No, you're out there. We know you're out there. We know you're out there. You're better than us. Anita's better than us. Thank you so much for listening to Fairytale Fix. If you enjoyed these listener tales, please send us yours.

We would love to hear from you. We really, really would. You can send them to us at info at fairytalefixpod.com or you can even feel free to message us on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook at Fairytalefixpod.com or you can even feel free to message us on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook at fairytalefixpod. And please also feel free to subscribe and give us a review

on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. It helps other people find us. And as always, if you enjoy the show, definitely tell your friends. And share it. Please. Please, please, please do that. And they all lived happily never after. After the end.