Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 118: My Tuscaloosa Heart With Christa Miller
Episode Date: June 9, 2020In this week's episode, Turk and Eliot learn about Dr, Kelso's secret talent. In the real world, Zach and Donald are joined by actress, Christa Miller. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www....iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You know, normally we wait to bring on the VIP guests, but I just have to jump right in.
I am so taken by how ridiculously breathtaking you are in this episode.
Thank you so much.
I'm not going to lie, Donald.
I texted her while I was watching it and said, you know, I don't mean to be super—
Keep it classy.
Keep it classy.
I know.
I'm not going to get in trouble with Bill.
I just want to say I am not to be superficial and just talk about looks.
She's also a very, very, very funny woman.
But holy crap, are you beautiful in this episode.
And I can say that because you're being sexual and luring Johnny C.
into the bedroom.
So I'm allowed to comment on that, Donald.
But she's doing it in such a – that's the way it's supposed to be
when you're booty calling with your ex, right?
Right.
She comes over, she says, yo, let's do this.
And you say, yeah, let's do this.
And then that's it.
That's the rule.
By the way, Krista, I used to say that all the time to Casey when I would have her come over at like, you know, 1030 at night.
Them's the rules of the booty call, baby.
I used to say that shit to her all the time
really yeah absolutely krista i love how in control uh jordan is she just she just and i
think it's a good i mean not that we were the first show to ever do this but i think it was
a good message for women it was kind of like hey you can be uh if you want sex like no shame go
get yours go be in charge of the booty call. Go get yours.
Make it happen.
Make it happen for yourself.
I always tell my friends this on a different note.
You know, know how to make it happen for yourself and follow through.
Yeah.
And why are you taking shit off anyone?
Yeah.
And Jordan was like, you know, I don't want to hear you talk.
Like, just shut up.
Take your fucking clothes off.
First of all, how are you?
Sorry, how are you?
I got excited.
I was just watching the episode and I got excited.
I miss you.
And it was so sweet to hear from you guys for my birthday.
So I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
No doubt.
How's your quarantining going?
You know, it's my wet dream to be quarantined.
There's people like Krista I know, I'm sure if you're listening, you know, who are like, wait, you're telling me I don't have to leave the house and no one will give me shit?
I mean, you know, it's not as easy for your friend Bill Lawrence, who wants to be around people all the time.
Yeah.
You know, does he tell you that I put him downstairs?
Yeah, tell us about that.
He told us that you said that's your office.
What's that story?
Well, I anticipated that quarantine would be a disaster for our marriage,
and we would ultimately end up divorced if there weren't certain rules followed.
And because Bill left to his own devices, would follow me around the house all day,
want to see what I'm doing,
feign interest in things he wasn't interested in.
And so I put a desk in our downstairs guest bedroom.
I set it all up, made sure there was a big TV in there.
I set it up as a little pied-a-terre
like one might have a little studio
apartment in New York
and he can come out for lunch
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
By the way, Bill is so afraid of Krista
this is a funny thing that Donald and I have witnessed.
Like when we did this show for nine years, Bill was the boss and he was the big brother and he could be scary at times.
And then the second he was around Krista, it automatically switched.
And he was like, yes, Krista.
Yes, Krista.
And Bill was like, this isn't a joke.
Bill's like, no, no, I have to go to the office.
I'm like, what do you mean?
We're in quarantine.
He's like, no, no, Krista made an office for me and I have to go to the office I'm like what do you mean we're in quarantine he's like no no Krista made an office for me and I have to go it's it's very much it's very much like uh Cox
and Jordan no like I've never seen Cox slump his shoulders like that like in defeat like he does at
the end of the episode sad body I know yes right. Yeah, sad body. You never see that in the show.
But here comes Jordan, and he's like, ah.
And Bill walks around, and his chest is all out.
And Krista comes around, and he sinks down.
I'm like, OK, you got it.
He submits.
I think that's very healthy for your relationship.
I'm sure you do too, Krista.
But like a guy, I mean, talk about that.
Because I think a guy like mean talk about that because i think
a guy like bill and i know other men and probably women and vice versa like this when they're at
work they're kind of the boss they're the alpha and they come home and they need the yin yang of
someone be like no you're not the fucking boss anymore okay there's your room go to your room
yeah i don't i don't work for you, but I will say this at work.
Cause I think Bill is so talented at his job and he,
his takes on jokes and how they should be done is,
is so spot on.
He also has the quality as you guys know,
is that if you say,
I want to try it this way,
he'll say, try it.
If your way's better, he'll say, you're right.
Your way's better.
So I have a lot of trust in him.
So at work, actually, I was quite,
you guys didn't notice it,
but that for me was deferential to Bill.
You can tell.
I saw it.
When you switched to work mode,
you were always like, hey, can I try it this way?
Or, you know, you totally switch.
But I just love because I'm so close with you guys and I've spent so much time with you at your home.
It was always fun for me.
I mean, now we're all best friends.
But back in the day when I didn't know you as well, it was always so much fun for me to see Bill under Krista's thumb.
Wait.
Zach has witnessed you.
I don't know if you want to talk about it now, the stop hug.
Oh, I want to talk about everything.
Donald hasn't seen it.
Bill is so pussy whipped, if I can say that, Krista.
I hope it's not too jarring.
Well, they go on Howard Stern all the time, these two.
You can say pussy whipped.
So everything is going to be tame compared to what these two talk about on Howard Stern together.
But Bill is so pussy whipped.
But Krista, you tell the story.
But I feel it's so adorable.
And my heart goes out for him.
No, but you were on my side by the end of the summer.
No, I never was.
I love you.
But I felt the guy just wants to hug his wife I felt the guy just wants to hug his wife.
The poor guy just wants to hug his wife.
Maybe I'll have Donald.
So Donald, what happens is I'm a way to be doing something.
I'm working.
I'm organizing.
I'm writing.
And Bill, or I'll have my hands full of things, and Bill goes, stop hug.
And then he walks.
And he needs a stop hug.
And I would say to Zach, do you see?
I don't want a stop hug.
Wait, you're not explaining it.
Stop hug meant that she would have to put her things down no matter what was happening and give him a long, tight embrace.
And Krista, we were staying on Long Island together, and Krista's like, no, what the fuck are you talking about?
We're not stop hugging right now.
We'd be out at the boat, and I'm tying up the boat or trying to get the anchor up, and Bill would be like, stop hug?
No.
No.
anchor up and Bill would be like, stop, hug.
No.
No.
It's so fun for Donald and I because, I mean, when I.
He didn't hug us.
Do you know how long it took for him to hug us?
He couldn't even hug us.
We had to, now he's a hugger.
It took a decade, but we turned him into a male on male hugger.
But in the beginning, he'd be like, high five.
No, no, we're huggers.
He would tap you on the shoulder.
Hey, buddy. Yeah, he'd tap like, high five. No, no, we're huggers. He would tap you on the shoulder. Hey, buddy.
Yeah, he'd tap.
Hey, buddy.
No, he would, he will say now,
I'm not speaking out of school,
that he would like to have an adult baby Bjorn for me to climb into
so he could wear me around the house during quarantine.
That's why I had to get him an office.
But by the way, I have to say.
I would like that.
That sounds amazing.
There are so many husbands and wives.
How long have you been married?
20 years.
There are so many husbands and wives who are so over each other, sadly, after 20 years.
And Bill is so incredibly in love with you.
I mean, it has not turned down one cell from
your from the day you met and i think that's so sweet so my heart always goes out to him sometimes
when you're like bill go to your fucking office no stop hugs right but zach you have to remember
that yeah no i love him so much he gets of sex. He gets plenty of cuddles.
Enough's enough.
I mean, you feel sorry for someone who gets a lot of things.
Gets a lot of attention.
Yeah.
Well, listen.
Hey, we forgot to sing, by the way.
I was about to say.
I was about to say.
That's a great way to start the show.
Yeah, Bill Lawrence gets plenty of sex, everybody.
Five, six, seven, eight. Stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of docs and nurses.
And a janitor who loved to hate.
I said he's got stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Kristen, we got to go back to the beginning.
Now that we've sung ourselves in.
Tell us, Donald.
No, Donald, I'm going to lead this.
I was going to.
Okay, go ahead, man.
Go ahead.
I know you're excited.
I am excited.
I was told to turn the gain down on my mic.
I was so excited by Dan.
Right on, right on.
Dan had an intervention and said, turn down your mic.
You're too giddy.
Krista, tell us.
We're going to go way back to the beginning.
Whenever we have our co-stars on, we like to start at the beginning.
Even before you met Bill, you were in New York.
You grew up in Manhattan.
And tell us about going from modeling to acting,
like that section of your life where it was working as a model
and then into Drew Carey.
Well, I went to acting class at night in high
school. I went to American Academy of Dramatic Arts and then the Neighborhood Playhouse and I
would ride my bike. I had a 10-speed bike in New York. I would go to school and then I would play
in some varsity sport that I was in, like basketball or volleyball, and then I would ride my bike down
to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and take acting classes.
I always wanted to be an actor.
And modeling was just a way to make money.
And I originally came out here because I got an audition for A League of Their Own.
Oh, shit.
When David Anspar was first directing it.
And when he was doing it, you had to pass,
and they knew you had to be a real baseball player.
So you had to go down with one of the head coach
for one of the baseball teams for like this three-hour
baseball audition before you were even allowed to read.
And so I did that.
I got the part,
David Antspot ultimately got fired from the movie and Penny Marshall took
over.
And I ended up dating him and,
but staying out here and starting with that,
you know,
doing acting.
Right. And what happened is, is I got a episode of The French Prince of Bel-Air.
That was your first job. No, it wasn't my first job, but I it was one of the first few ones.
And it was so fun. Will Smith would he did this.
First of all, there's loud music playing anytime they cut
loud music be playing on stage he was so lovely and he would do these speed throughs with everybody
and just it was such a fun thing and i thought why am i doing the this drama painful memories
of childhood i don't want to do it and that was what got me started to
want to do comedy well and also you're funny and i think that one thing that hollywood really
embraces you know there's there's there's plenty of pretty people but a pretty person who can be
hilarious like you can be it was no doubt that you were going to have a big career well i i was
going to say i was going to i was going to say later on in the conversation, but I think I want to say it now.
We watched this show back, and it's been such a long time since we've seen the show that we
tend to forget a lot of things. And one thing that I forgot was how funny you are, Krista.
that I forgot was how funny you are, Krista.
Like, every one of your jokes lands every time,
and the sarcasm and the sass, it all shines through.
And so when I'm watching these episodes,
in my mind, I'm like, of course they get back together.
They mirror each other so well.
You know what I mean?
And, you know, John C's character's put into the show to be, you know, this sarcastic mentor for JD.
It's only right that he has a sarcastic wife, you know, or ex-wife or love interest on the show.
And so when watching this, it's like you guys are playing tennis, you know what I mean?
And he's hitting it to you and you're spiking it back. And he's like, oh, shit, let me spike it back. You know what i mean and he's hitting it to you and you're spiking it back and he's like oh shit let me spike it back you know what i mean it's so great to watch
it's a lot like the banter of bill and krista i mean they they do that sparring back and forth
and the sarcasm back and forth and um and can be quite biting i i once said to them did you guys
meet at mean camp donald that's so sweet of you to say. Thank you.
You know, when I watch, my
boys have been watching, going
through and watching Scrubs, all the episodes,
anytime I go in the kitchen, I'll watch.
And I think, see how
good you guys are. And you see how
like every show
you guys get more and
more in the groove, better.
And Donald, your physical comedy is so strong.
And you allow it.
You know, I think it was maybe because it was in a hospital
and everyone was there together,
it was like this very safe place to, like, kind of bring your A game.
Right.
That's what I felt on that show.
You would step in and also that you
would want to be friends with everybody um you know from the crew to the cat to everyone that
was there but you just step in and you're in a safe place to do that you know the show would
not have worked at all if there wasn't this environment of there's no wrong answer right
you know actors can we're so neurotic you can get in your head and go oh i'm not making everyone
laugh or i don't want to do that because it's if it's they don't laugh i'll feel stupid bill and
the crew and everyone and us we created this environment where like go nuts like there is
no wrong answer like if you if you go too far don't worry we'll choose a take that that's that isn't
as broad but like it gave all of us the freedom to just fucking go for it right and doing and
doing this rewatch right now it's really what's really fun to watch is how when we first started
how tight we all were you know what i mean we were all so tight and now we're starting we're what is this episode one what uh 17 18 18 118 we're all
starting to really loosen up now you know what i mean and everybody's starting to spread out and
you can feel that the nervous energy is gone and we're starting to play on camera and uh yeah but
my point my point was when you came in, you were already there.
You were already ready to play.
And I think that has a lot to do with you doing Drew Carey at the time and being on television for what?
It was like seven years at this point, eight years at this point?
Yeah.
Well, also because it than doing a sitcom.
But I remember Bill said to me and it might have been on this episode.
He said, you know, when it's not your coverage and I don't know if you want to explain, you know, when the camera's not on you, you're doing broad, funny, crazy things.
And I want you to do at least two of those takes when the camera's on you.
And I was like, oh, I am having a disconnect.
I'm so much freer and looser when the camera's not on me.
You're doing genius shit off camera.
You're doing genius shit off camera. Yeah.
You're doing genius shit off camera.
You might want to meld the two.
So Donald just brought up, just talk about Drew for a second
because it was a big chunk of your life.
You're one of the lucky actors in the world of Hollywood
that can go from one successful show to another.
We talked about how Neil Flynn did
that after Scrubs. He then went and starred on The Middle for forever.
Yeah, 11 years or some shit like that.
Yeah. So what was the... Obviously, just reminding audience that don't know the difference,
sitcoms are filmed like a play. They're done in front of a live audience. That's why you hear the
laughs. And they set up four or five cameras and they shoot it like a play and they cut in between them.
Whereas when we shoot scrubs, there's no audience.
We're shooting it like a movie with one angle at a time or two angles at a time.
So talk a little bit about Drew, Krista, and what that experience was like.
And again, transitioning to scrubs from that.
You know, it was so unusual.
I mean, you know this, that you're not working and then you you're all of a sudden you're on a show.
You know, it was just and doing 26 episodes and you're on this big show.
And I had so much fun. And it was also a great learning experience because it is it was so foreign to me that particular medium of doing it like that
because you realize you know when you're doing a sitcom the audience and we've all done them the
audience becomes on show night another character in the scene and so it's really about listening
and being able to change your jokes and not being married to a joke that you might have done funny in the table read or sometime during the week.
It's really about listening and being organic, because if you're not, you're going to get stuck.
It's just everything's going to be flat.
They also give you such a high, though, don't they?
Like when you could never go to sleep, I would come home.
I would take a bath.
I would do you have to do everything.
Talk about booty calls
after show night.
Show night.
What you doing?
Well, I just finished the show.
I'm on my way.
I know what that means.
Yeah.
Because you can't
go to sleep.
I remember I did the exes for three, four years after Scrubs,
and I remember show nights were the hardest nights to go to sleep.
Every other night you could pass out, no problem,
but you're just so high from doing the show,
and it's hard to come down,
especially when the show felt like it went good.
And like you said, the audience gives you all of this energy
and you could be tired going into the show,
but then after you're like, dude, where are we going?
What are we doing?
No, I have a good,
I can mix Drew Carey and Scrubs in a story.
So Drew got into improv,
which I think is the work of the devil. And I
don't like doing improv and I don't like watching improv. So Drew wanted to do these,
and Brian did improv and blah, blah, blah. So he wanted to do these episodes live,
one a year on Drew, that would be a live episode already, which would be nerve-wracking
because it's live. And then
secondly, have it be improv.
So while you were doing
the show, they would
press a button, and then
you would have to change the line.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
That's nerve-wracking. I'm getting
anxious hearing about it.
I was like, fuck that noise because I don't, I'm not a writer.
I don't want to do it.
So this became the most fun thing ever that we would go, we would, I would take my script
into the scrubs writers room because it started when, when we're at scrubs and every line
I had all the scrubs writers and it would, writers, and we would stop for the day.
And they would write all the alt jokes that were really funny.
Like, there are no better writers ever than that Scrubs writers room.
Right.
So they're writing the funniest alt jokes.
But Drew didn't know.
And so then on show night,, I remember this one show because you'll die
laughing so i am doing it and drew's getting so mad that he keeps pressing the button for me to do
but i have locked and loaded he got like 10 jokes i got i got so many locked and loaded that I had an applause break on my jokes
and drew out a fit.
He was so mad.
He was like, but that's not really improv.
I'm like, but I don't do improv.
So what difference does it make?
And I sold it to you.
You know how you can sell improv?
Like you're looking like you're trying to think of something.
You do the little shake.
Oh, look up.
Yeah.
You got to sell it to the audience
that you're coming up with.
What episode is this?
Because maybe our listeners
want to go back.
Yeah, your listeners
are going to want to check this.
I know.
I have to find out.
I'm sure if they Google
Drew Carey improvisational episodes,
they'll find him.
And so did Drew know?
I mean, he must have known that Bill was, because he knew Bill was a famous TV writer.
Well, yeah.
Well, he knew when he saw all the, and also, you know, when writers hear their own jokes, they're hysterical.
Right.
They go crazy.
Right.
So I'd already sold it by looking up like I'm just coming.
And then there would be this huge laugh, which I would have never gotten because i'm not that funny on my feet live i'm here to tell
you oh okay i've seen you live before and you're wonderful donald i love you thank you so yeah they
were all hysterical like just more hysterical than normal people so drew knew, he just knew it was all the scrubs writers and I had memorized a hundred
jokes.
Drew looks up and he's like,
why is the entire scrubs writers room here at an improv,
at an improv team being of Drew Carey?
Yeah.
I love, I've never really, I've done a guest on,
on Donald's sitcom and I've, and we did our scrubs one,
but I've never really had I've done a guest on Donald's sitcom and we did our Scrubs one, but I've never really had a role on one.
And what I always love is going and standing next to people like Bill, because when a joke, for those of you who don't know, when a joke doesn't work or it doesn't get a big laugh, then all the writers sort of huddle up on a traditional one, not on the improv one like Chris is talking about.
And then they kind of come up with a better or an alt joke.
And I've had times where it's so much fun where I'll
whisper in Bill's ear like a joke pitch
and then some actor I've
never met before says the line,
gets a huge laugh, and I'm
just like celebrating, like, well, that was
more fun than anything I've ever done.
But didn't you used to do that a lot, Zach?
Come into Undateable and be
Bill? I always used to say I'm wanting Zach to come down to pitch jokes.
Yeah, I did it on Undateable.
I did it on some of his other ones.
And I would come on show night just for that fun.
Because I love pitching jokes.
And when yours gets on and it gets a laugh,
and especially when I've never even met the person saying it,
and they kill, I'm like, that felt good.
It's like broadcast news.
Remember when Albert Brooks calls Holly Hunter and he says, I say it here, it comes out there.
And it was just like whispering it into Bill's ear.
And then all of a sudden some random, not random, but an actor on the show I'd never met says it.
It was a good feeling.
Yeah, when you came on to X's, I remember that happened too.
Like, they had a whole different idea for what they wanted you to do.
And you were like, no, you know, guys, don't you think it would be funny if I came in
and I just wanted to fuck Bache?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Funny episode, man.
I try and always balance.
I don't want to be the guy who's like trying
to write too many of my jokes.
But if they give me a little bit of rope,
I'm like, all right, well, I'm going
to change the character now.
My character wants to have sex with that guy.
I remember being like, cow dude we're actually gonna make an entire episode about how zach braff's character wants
to bang david allen base and it all came from you going up to the creator of that show saying dude
yeah that's funny but wouldn't it be funnier if i tried to fuck this dude yeah wouldn't it be way
funnier if i was trying to bang dude yeah wouldn't it be way funnier
if i was trying to bang one of the leads of the show it was great it's a good episode great guys
check that out check out me guest starring on the x's with the legendary donald faze on
so um wait chris to talk a little bit we're gonna get into the show but we just have i feel like we
could do an hour and a half we could do an hour just on asking questions right thank you i want
to know about uh you meeting bill lawrence well i questions, right? Thank you. I want to know about you meeting
Bill Lawrence. Well, I wanted to know that
too. I want to know how...
I've heard versions of this, but
I want to hear... I've never heard this before.
Listen, the guy was a swinging bachelor
in Manhattan. He had a hit show,
Spin City. They didn't shoot a lot
of shows in New York at the time, and so
Bill was a big deal,
and he was feeling himself. I think he
had bleach blonde hair for a while. And I want to know, how was his game? How did he hit on you?
How did he land a beautiful, talented woman like you? Well, do you want to hear the weirdest thing
is that, you know, Bill was married before and his ex-wife had one line on Drew Carey as a bartender when we first started the
show.
And I remember that she had the most beautiful engagement ring on.
And then one day this very handsome man came to visit her.
And I was like,
I couldn't understand it that she had this handsome husband.
And I was just like full career.
You know,
I was so far away from I was only booty
calls I was just like on the career thing anyway and that was Bill and that was his ex-wife but I
didn't know it then so I was went to New York you know they do the upfronts in New York where they
announce all the shows and yeah we've told that's when we've told the famous story of Donald Noogie and Jeff Zucker to the people.
Right?
So I went to go to the upfronts,
and I was dating someone at the time
who had some beef with ABC, an actor,
but he flew with me to the upfronts,
and then he didn't want to...
Oh, and then I happened to go on Howard Stern
with Drew Carey,
and they made fun of this actor on Howard Stern.
And at that time with Howard Stern, it was on E,
so you were also on camera.
And what they did is put up a picture of this actor that I was dating.
Oh, that's rough.
I mean, I feel bad for the guy.
That's horrible.
But also, I was, now I'm on Howard, who's, Howard supersedes everybody, so I was laughing.
Right.
And they bring the picture, and then they cut to me, and Drew is laughing so hard that
he's pounding.
When he laughs really hard, he gets this high-pitched laugh, which is so contagious.
He's pounding the desk, and I'm laughing.
I came home, and this particular actor was nowhere to be found.
He was on a plane back to LA.
But I mean, in his defense, can you imagine your girlfriend's on Howard Stern
and they're all making fun of you?
Well, he had made a bad choice in career, but anyway.
He had made a bad choice in career.
But anyway.
Okay. So he declined that night to come with me to the ABC party.
I'm not going.
I'm not going.
And that decision changed the course of his life and your life forever.
Yep.
And I remember it was pouring rain.
I was like, and they started late.
And Jamie Tarsus was throwing it, my friend Jamie Tarsus,
because she was the president of ABC at the time.
And I had to go down to this party at the Mercer Hotel by myself.
Which is a horrible mistake on this boyfriend's part.
Horrible.
So you don't leave your beautiful girlfriend to go to a fancy party alone because you're
pouting.
I mean, that's a recipe for disaster.
Recipe for disaster.
This is like a Katherine Heigl movie plot.
I mean, I've seen this movie.
Yeah.
So I walk in.
It gets better.
And this actor's friend was friends with Alan Ruck.
I knew Alan Ruck because of this actor boyfriend that I had.
And Alan Ruck stood up and said, Krista, hi, come meet everybody on my show.
And Alan Ruck was one of the stars of Spin City.
Yes, he was one of the stars.
Also Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Right.
A very funny actor, lovely man. So I walked over to their section, Spin City section,
and Bill Lawrence stood up in a really cute suit right away
and said, hi, nice to meet you.
And my first thing is I was like,
what am I doing with this stupid actor
when there's people like this in the world?
There's guys like this that are so cute.
And also.
Yes, Bill.
Did he ask for a stop hug?
Did he ask for a stop hug?
No, but so I ended up, I think, just hanging with them the whole time.
And then Bill said, I just bought this loft.
Do you want to go see it?
Now, I had grown up in New York and I was like, a loft?
By the way, there's no more power move in the world than do you want to come see this loft?
I just bought a new loft.
Do you want to see it? And I, was like a loft sure like i had never seen one what's that
what's that a loft but this is where it went bad a little so we go to his uh go to his apartment
and there was a girl that came over it was like six of us and i said to her uh i didn't unbeknownst to me she had a crush on
him and i said to her who's this bill lawrence he's pretty cute and she said oh he's a player
oh yeah and so and then when we went up because we went up to his apartment and because it was
the upfronts he had had a party in his loft the night before.
So there was like cigarettes and it was just,
he had had a whole party where his boo. And I thought, Oh, Oh,
he's just a player. He's trying to get on, you know, forget it.
And when I was leaving, Bill said, can I get your number? Can I call you?
And I was like, if you can find me, you can call me, which he did.
And that was in May.
And then we didn't start dating until,
because he was in New York and I was in LA. We spoke on the phone and then Thanksgiving,
I was back in New York and I was walking by his apartment and I thought, I wonder how that cute
Bill Lawrence is. And I called him and he didn't call me back, but he called me back two days
later. And he was in Jamaica, but I didn't know this.
And he called me back and said, you better be single.
And I said, I am.
And he said, okay, I'm going to fly out on Saturday and take you to dinner.
Wow.
Bill Lawrence.
What a power.
Donald and I never got to witness.
We love this guy.
He's so important to us. And we never got to see the legendary single version of him.
We've heard tales, but what a good technique.
I'm going to fly out to take you on a date, Donald, right?
Yeah.
Listen, man.
If I had the bucks, that's exactly what I would do, too.
On that note, we've got to go to a quick commercial break.
We'll be right back with Krista Miller.
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Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now.
Michael is known for his performances in both film and television.
His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant,
which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations.
His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther,
one of my favorites,
further solidified his status
as one of Hollywood's leading actors,
earning him widespread acclaim
for his complex and compelling performance.
In our conversation, Michael really opens up.
You're going to love listening to it,
and I can't wait for you to check it out.
The closest to getting what you want
is always the hardest.
It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they
always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of
seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore
in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests
to answer the same seven questions,
including actress and star
of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
You can't go around it, so you just go through it.
This is a roadblock.
It's gonna catch you down the road.
Go through it.
Deal with it.
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.
He died of a brain tumor.
It's part of what happens when your kid dies.
Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.
Old rock icon, Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.
Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing With The Stars since the
very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba and the cha-cha. 24 partners, six finals and two
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It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans.
We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe.
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Listen to Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Scratch Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Should we get into the episode, you guys?
I think we should at some point.
You know, I wouldn't mind getting into the episode.
I mean, I could literally do a full show just on Krista Miller, but-
I love you guys are making my year.
Well, I think you're a great guest.
Krista, you have a lot of things that we wanted to talk about.
One, because you are the creator of the show that we both became very famous on, you have his heart.
We love to hear insight about him and how you guys met and
everything like that and so forgive us especially things that are mildly embarrassing like stop yeah
like wait but is the funniest should we have you told the story yet on this that how bill used to
say to you guys krista didn't like oh no I haven't told that story. Oh, God.
Yeah.
I ran that joke by Krista, and she was like, it's not funny.
The director first does a cut of the episode,
and then I would show it to Bill, and I'd choose, let's say,
a particular joke that maybe was improv or something
that I thought was hilarious, and I'd put it in my cut,
and Bill would be like, and then I'd see Bill's cut.
And as the director, I'd be like, oh, why did you take out that moment?
That was so funny.
Why did you do that?
And he'd go, what are you talking about?
No one understands that joke.
And I'd be like, really?
I mean, we were all cracking up in the edit room.
And he'd go, yeah, I showed it to Krista.
And she was like, what the hell was that joke?
He didn't understand it.
I didn't understand it.
Then I'd see Krista and I'd be like, Krista, you didn't think that joke was funny?
And she'd be like, Zach, do you really think that I'm watching rough cuts of Scruggs?
In what world?
He was such a fucking liar.
Yeah, dude.
But he would do that also with the music, too.
Like, i remember him
telling you came up to you one time and said this song would work perfectly here why can't you i you
let me do this one song here perfectly i was like i don't even know what you're talking about yeah
i don't even know you you have no idea how often i'm sure not just with me but with all the entire
staff how often you were used as bad cop. Yeah.
Krista doesn't understand it.
You know, I just showed it to Krista, and she just didn't like it,
and she didn't get it. Or she didn't like it.
She didn't get it.
She hated it.
And then everybody would drop it right then and there.
It would be like, oh, okay.
All right.
Yeah, well, how can you, you know, Krista didn't like it.
What are we going to do?
He did that.
He did that all the time.
Another funny Bill thing, a technique that I've since stolen, a couple of them.
One, for you aspiring directors out there, it's considered bad form for a director to tell an actor how to say a line.
It's called giving them a line reading.
them a line reading. And you're supposed to use your skills and your communication and your articulation to steer them to say the line the way you want to say it. But sometimes they're
just not doing it the way you envisioned or the writer envisioned, and this can be frustrating.
And Bill had a way around it where he would go, he'd go, you know, he would say, let's say to
a guest star I'll make up named Tim, he'd go, Tim, you know, at the table read, you did it so funny.
You had me laughing so hard.
You did it just like this.
You were like, we got to get out of here.
And whatever.
And the guy, the actor would be like, I did?
That is funny.
I did it like that?
He'd be like, yeah, that's what you did at the table read.
And it was hilarious.
And the actor's ego is all glowing and like, okay, I'll just like that and the actor had never done it like that bill totally made that shit up right krista
oh he does it all the time but i also love that that we all got because when we and when everyone
started on scrubs you'd be like i don't i you can't give me line readings that's not what you're
supposed to do and then by season three, everyone's like, Bill,
just tell me how you want me to say it.
How do you want me to say it, dude?
I'll do it.
Tell me.
Yeah.
I love it.
As a director, I love it when people do that.
Because you're like, you're just trying to be so tactful.
And if someone's just like, just tell me what you want to say,
like, oh, thank God.
Yeah.
Another trick Bill would do in the same vein would go
he got it in his head that if you didn't say words it wasn't technically giving a line reading
so if it was like if the line was like we gotta get out of here and he wanted it like that he'd
be like you know could you do it like yeah i mean like well you're just giving a line reading with
noises now you know like that i remember also bill gets so mad well he got the most mad over the first
time that zach directed it was the first time zach directed and i came home like the third day
and i said bill oh my god with zach directing it's like being on a movie set he's so good and his training as a as a you know as an actor and and direct his direction is so
incredible it's so amazing it's like and he's like really is it is it like being on a movie
set when zach is there you have to understand that bill and i my relationship was so big brother
little brother and whenever krista i mean i mean, the compliments were genuine, I think, and thank you.
But whenever Krista would compliment me in front of Bill, I would be like, oh, God.
It was just like JD and Cox.
I'd be like, oh, God, this is not going to be good for me.
You really need to stop complimenting me in front of him, please.
Because something was going to happen to me.
You know, it's funny, though.
I will say this, because bill showed me everyone's
audition tapes for scrubs and with every single one of you i was like oh well that's the person
that's the person that has to do it and i remember the whole bill's the rest of the time was finessing
and that's what he's so good at, to make sure that he got to pick.
And there was a whole math equation of how to do it,
of like, I'm going to bring in these other two people,
because I really want Donald or Zach, with everyone.
And it was, but you guys-
And most people, if you don't know, getting your choice,
even if you're the showrunner of the show,
through to a network, there's a strategy to it.
You can't just go in and say, I want Donald Faison and Zach Braff.
Thanks, guys.
And Bill is very good at that.
He's like, well, if I want Zach and Donald, I have to say this.
I have to act like this.
I can't be too excited about it.
There's a whole strategy to it.
I've experienced it as a director and not gotten the person I thought was clearly
the best. But then you got to go shoot the pilot. And you're shooting the pilot with someone you
think is good and talented, but not necessarily as good as the other person. And you don't always
get who you want. And Bill was really skilled at knowing the strategy like oh if i i'm gonna you know he gave us a couple extra jokes
and he would you know when we came in the room you know it's so intimidating he would make all
these jokes to make everyone already start laughing so by the time he's like a warm-up
comic by the time it's time for your audition they're already giggling you know yeah it's
but it's also interesting because sometimes on a pilot i remember with scrubs sometimes on a pilot
you'd go on this part i'll give in I'll I'll let
them choose or you give in on that so you can have the other people that you like and on Scrubs Bill
wasn't willing to budge on anyone you know he really knew who he wanted and so he had to do
that with all of you guys but it is also a good lesson in in, or if you're up for a role, you guys right at the beginning, cause I saw the, the producer sessions,
you know, so it's, I wasn't even watching to the network test,
which were you guys were really on a roll by then.
It was so clear that all of you should have those parts,
you know, and it's just, I wanted it. So I remember wanting it so bad. I wanted it so bad.
It was like, and I went, I I've said this story before. I went up against my friends that day
and, uh, some friends of mine. And I remember, I remember being like, they don't want it as bad
as I do, dude. Nobody wants it this bad. So, so what was your story? Have you talked about it?
Oh yeah, absolutely. We talked about, we we we've we've told it before but uh so what happened you read the script can you tell me quickly yeah i hadn't read the
script i just auditioned for it's me i i just i had auditioned for i remember auditioning for bill
and danny rose that's what i really remember for some reason danny rose was in the room he was
bill's assistant he was bill's assistant yeah and uh
and i remember bill laughing at everything and so i my confidence was through the roof
and he was like all right let's meet again you know my agents were like you got a call back for
it and i went in the call back and it was bill once again and he was like so i'm gonna bring
you in front of uh the network and. You're going to test for this.
But I just wanted to rehearse this with you so you were ready to go when we go into the audition.
And I did.
And we rehearsed it.
And I went in on the audition and I blew the audition.
And never in my life has anybody ever come up to me, like like within the half hour that we're all there testing
after everybody went in i never had anyone come up to me after he called me out in front of
everybody like donald come on come here let me talk to you and i remember all of them making
faces like oh shit i guess he got the part but i was thinking oh shit i'm the first one going home
and he takes me into the hallway and he says,
you blew the audition.
You know you fucked up the audition, right?
You do know you fucked up, right?
Right.
It was sincerely, it was clearly,
it was just like Bill Duke in Minister Society when he's talking to a dude at the police station.
See, now you know you done fucked up now, right?
And I said, I said, I did?
And he said, yeah, you know know you were very big and very you know i need you to come in there and do it like uh you've
been doing it before all of the stuff that you talked about zach you know you did it at the
table read you know you did it at the rehearsal this way yeah i mean everything that you guys
just talked about but you actually had in in in this instance he instance, he had made you progress so far because you were doing what he loved.
And when Bill told this story, he said, you know, he gave you some bit of direction and you were nervous and it made you go just to volume 11.
And he was like, bro, bro, bring it down, bring it down.
Well, yeah, you know, when somebody says, make sure you're talking to the back of the room when you're doing your stuff.
You can't tell that to Donald Faison.
Don't tell me that.
Don't tell me that, man. By me that man johnny johnny had a similar tale wait wait so it donald so then you went in and and did you kill it i don't know if i killed it but i definitely got the part i'll tell
you that like i know that bill whatever they were thinking about me bill convinced them that i was
the right person for the part you know what i mean and i know that because after the audition you know the call came in and i got it but i remember leaving
and not necessarily feeling like i got the part even though they'd sent everybody home
and sarah and i and this other dude were there uh you know we you know sarah said something like
well i guess we all got the i guess we got the part in my heart. I was like, I didn't get the part, dude. I kind of fucked up. And he told me
I fucked up. You know what I mean? And then when I got, when my agent called and told me that I got
the part, that's when I was like, oh shit, he somehow made this happen. Like if he wants it to
happen for you, he's going to make it happen. And he's done it several times before, you know,
there's times where, you know, I've, I've bill like i was i did the pilot for undateable you know what
i mean he was like donald come in there's a role i want you to do it the network doesn't that's
nbc doesn't know that you're coming in you come in and you just read with chris delia and i was
like all right bet and i did it they were like we, we can't have Donald Faison who was just on your last show in your next show, dude. That's impossible. We can't do that. But
you know, it was great to see him. And then, you know, he did another pilot called Spaced Out.
And at the time I wasn't working and he was like, Donald, I got a role for you then. Why don't you
come and, you know, play this role on Spaced Out spaced out so like when he and i didn't have to test i didn't have to do anything for that one and this was a this
was one of the stars of the show and so when bill wants it to happen if he if he wants you to be in
something he's going to do everything that he can to get you into that yeah well i think it's clear
he's i think it's safe to say that he's a big fan of donald faze on i agree i agree he loves all you
guys i mean i loves all you guys.
I mean, I think all you guys are going to be having to work with Bill for the rest of your lives.
Well, I love it.
You know, I went and directed his new show that he's doing
with Jason Sudeikis when I was in London,
and I had an amazing time working with him.
I missed it.
We fell back into this groove of just sitting next to the monitors
and pitching jokes and coming up with cool stuff.
And I really love collaborating with him so much.
All right, let's get into the episode.
I know, but now you took us down a nostalgia lane, and I'm feeling all like my heart is glowing.
We've been talking for 49 minutes, and we haven't talked about the episode yet.
I know, but we have the legendary Krista Miller, bro.
Chill out.
Like I said, we could talk for days about a lot of people on my
instagram right zach stop saying that we that you're going too long we love it and i that's
that's fine i just there might be other people who are like bro my run is an hour and a half
keep it to an hour and a half somebody you know somebody told me that i told you this that they
didn't like me doing the oprah voice yeah but i told you that to me right that's like someone saying they don't like um you know caddyshack
like shut the fuck up it's genius it's genius thank you we've got krista miller
i was hoping krista would get her uh her oprah voice all right all right so we start the episode
with uh now a jd JD and Elliot are friends again.
That was a pretty quick,
um,
bout of,
uh,
of a couple not talking to each other,
right?
They're just back into like being BFFs again.
Well,
I think after what happened in the episode where your teacher died,
uh,
things changed.
We're two episodes out.
And after that,
aren't we?
Um,
I don't know.
I was just,
I had this first reaction after introducing the hey, number one,
hey, number two guy that like, wow, we're just bantering like we're old buddies.
There's no awkward blood between us.
Now, I remember the hey, number one, hey, number two guy.
Do you remember his name?
Because we hung out with that guy after work one night, just you, me, and him.
I looked it up.
We did?
Yeah. I don't remember. We did? Yeah.
I don't remember.
You don't remember.
I remember that was one of the first people that guest starred on the show that we hung out with.
His name is, I hope I'm pronouncing it right, Eric Saiet.
S-A-I-E-T.
And he did a fantastic job, by the way, with the tricky part. I think, you know, it can be very cringy if someone is playing a handicapped person and doing it in an awkward or disrespectful way.
I remember thinking at the time, this is tricky.
You want to do justice to someone who's mentally handicapped.
But also this guy has jokes.
And I remember thinking even at the time and even watching it now that he did a really, really good job.
Didn't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you know what that story is from?
No.
I do remember that it was some real life story.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Don't sit too far away from your mic, though, darling.
Sorry.
Sorry, Bubba.
Bill was married before, and when he went to meet his new wife's family,
his new wife had an older brother who had special needs,
and his name was Bill.
And he was so bummed that Bill was coming in and that there were two Bills.
He didn't want to talk to Bill.
It was a whole thing.
And Bill said to him, how about you'll be bill number one because you're the main and i'll just be bill number two yeah and bill said which was great he thought he was the hero it was
fabulous he goes but then from then on every eight seconds hey number one and bill would say hey hey
number two yeah eventually it's like hey hey number two but it's
so sweet at the i don't know how you get but at the end when you make up with him it's so sweet
when you go in it's very sweet and and and again i think he did a i i i would be i wouldn't want
to do that part because i were i would just be in my head that I wouldn't do it justice. And I thought that Eric did a great job.
At 58 seconds, a couple things.
Not only is there another janitor in the background, which you very rarely-
I saw that.
I saw that.
Not only that, he's in a different color uniform.
He's wearing beige.
It's tan.
Yeah, it's tan.
And did you notice that he's sweeping the air?
I did not notice that he was sweeping the air.
No, very often, for those of you who don't know when background performers are doing their thing
they don't want them to make any noise
which can be tricky if you're tasked with sweeping
did you see this or did you get this from Scrubs Wiki
no I got some other good stuff
from Scrubs Wiki
but this dude if you stop
if everyone wants to appreciate this at 58 seconds
this gentleman is sweeping the air
maybe the air was dirty, but I didn't know.
I didn't know what was going on with that guy.
He,
I don't know who put him in bait.
We're,
if we know one thing,
we know that the janitorial staff,
where's gray,
gray,
gray.
I wonder how that happened.
I wonder if they were like,
we don't have,
we,
we don't have Neil today and we need somebody in the background sweeping.
Like, whose idea was it?
Because Neil's always dressed up as the janitor in the show.
And you never ever saw, I don't remember ever seeing janitorial staff
in the background that weren't Neil, do you?
No, I don't.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Very interesting.
That's a Scrubs Wiki question.
So Krista, we have a new thing now
where we do the Ask Bill thing.
And Bill will audio tape himself answering the question.
But now there's a guy who runs a Scrubs Wiki fan page
that just knows every single little bit of Scrubs trivia.
And he's down with us asking him random trivia questions
when we don't know them.
I wonder if we'll ever get to stump him.
Oh, we're going to stump him.
That's going to be one of our tasks.
I wonder if we'll ever stump him.
We should think of what the sound effect's going to be.
There should be like a siren or a bell,
some sort of prize noise if we stump Scrubs Wiki guy.
How about the look Judy gives at 1.13
when a guy calls her Nurse Fajita?
Yeah. Yeah. how about the look judy gives at 113 when a guy calls her nurse fajita yeah
judy's look is so fucking funny she just does a slow turn like i will kill you having it i will
fucking kill you but you know yeah go ahead go ahead man there's just a whole run there's a
whole runner on this show i I'll fucking kill you.
By the way, this delay is not that bad.
We were on The View for this podcast.
And the delay, I worry we fucked up because the delay was like a solid second and a half.
And it's very hard to be funny and talk with people when there's a serious delay.
We have a slight one on the Zoom thing.
But Donald and I did our best.
But we were on The View.
Everyone's going, eh, what? No, no, no. Well, you go. Oh, sorry. Well, right?
But Donald's mom finally watched. She doesn't listen to the podcast, but she does watch The
View. She loved it. She was like your energy on The View. You guys interview very well,
by the way. We finally got Donald's mom. We finally got Shirley to pay attention to us,
and all we had to do was go on The View. Yeah.
Alright.
What I was going to say is that there's this plot of this episode
which I'm sure is a very real thing
for medical professionals.
What happens when your patient
is a fucking dick
and you still have to give them the same
level of attention and
affection and
commitment.
And JD and Carla are both trying to take care of this guy, but he's racist and he's a jerk.
And JD is really, they're both challenged with how do we do our best with a guy who's
saying shit like Nurse Fajita?
Yeah, that's a tough one.
You know, I hate racism and I hate racists and I hate big, and I hate bigots, and I hate all of that shit.
To watch something like this and to still have to, like, it would suck to go to work and have somebody say things to me that made me so angry that I wanted to explode.
That I wanted to explode.
And I imagine for people that work in the hospital whose jobs where all it is, your job is to take care of the patient and save lives. And you get that one person who is just, you know, who's like, this guy is.
How do you commit to doing your best at that moment in time for that person i'm
sure sometimes you have to bury that energy i'm sure sometimes you have to bite your fist my mom
uh used to be a the the listen to this the night nurse the head night nurse on the mental health
ward of a va hospital in East Orange, New Jersey.
Wow.
And she had the most insane stories.
Now, granted, these men and women are very mentally ill, some of them, and it was always
her job to not take it personally and to take a deep breath and to give them the best care
that she could.
And my mom was an incredible, incredible nurse.
But this story made me think of that, that you can imagine some of the treatment she
had to endure and she had to always suck it up and let it just wash off her back.
Right.
But you're going to get extra good attention if you're lovely as a patient, I would imagine.
Yes.
Oh, absolutely.
You just are.
I hope so.
My father was a surgeon, so I know.
But, I mean, you just are going to get that extra attention.
Why people aren't savvy enough to realize that.
My father was, when my father was dying, he was in the hospital,
and he used every technique he got.
I mean, A, he was the most, you guys know.
He's the loveliest. He was the loveliest, most charming guy. But he was also the biggest Scrubs fan in the hospital and he, he used every technique he got. I mean, a, he was the most, you guys know, he's the loveliest,
he was the loveliest, most charming guy,
but he was also the biggest scrubs fan in the world.
So anyone who came in, whether it was the janitor cleaning the garbage can,
he'd be like, Hey, my son, Zach Braff, scrubs. How you doing?
Good to see you. I must've signed a scrubs headshot for every single person in
the New Jersey healthcare system.
Oh, Bill dropped scrubs pretty much instantaneously,
you know, on doing anything.
He just had to get a root canal thing.
He was talking about scrubs.
Yeah, it's right away.
Oh, I use it all the time.
Like, I use it all the time.
Whenever we have, like, where we take our kids into,
you know, urgent care or something like that,
or the kids' pediatrician does a lot golf uh tournaments and stuff like that for charity and i'm always using my scrubs uh
just to and and playing golf obviously too but i love it that you're like you started as though
you started out to make sure his kids got good health care and then it became to play golf with fancy golfers
well there's that there's that too but for for sure man like i just know i just know that you
know you especially in that profession treat somebody like you want to be treated it's like
the same thing when you go to a restaurant right what asshole sits there and says you know what i'm
gonna treat this waiter like shit and doesn't expect their food to get fucking spit on or something.
I know.
I was a waiter and I never understood the people that were assholes because there are plenty of people that will fuck with your shit and do not ever be mean to wait.
When I leave this area, I'm going to go and tell all these people what a dick you are.
So when watching this show and this guy is saying all these things, I'm like, this dude wants to die.
He must want to die.
There's no way that you could be that insensitive.
Go get me my fucking thing.
Go do this for me.
Shut the fuck up.
I don't understand
how you do it yeah nurse fajita i mean come on come on you're gonna get punched yeah listen
how about kelly williams as kristin murphy sucking on her finger uh in a in a manner
similar to fellatio in order to lure johnny c over to her house. But I was watching, and I got to say, I don't like being, I wouldn't want someone
sucking their finger and then touching my face.
I don't like that.
Yuck.
That didn't work to turn you on, Crystal.
It's yuck.
You need to smell, like, spit.
You can smell it.
Like, ugh, I don't want it.
You know what's crazy is that there's no way that was written.
So I'm just trying to figure out how that came about.
Like, did Kelly, she must have improvised that.
There's no way it's said in the script.
And then she sucks her pointer finger in a seductive manner and touches his nose.
Yuck.
I really want to know how that moment came about.
I don't know.
John MC really resists that woman.
She comes on so strong.
And says a lot of that's what she said jokes and everything.
It's like a single man's wet dream right there, dude.
Right.
She's giving you all of this energy,
and he wants to go lift a dresser with carla
get the fuck out of here by the way i had totally forgotten i know he's talking about this i had
totally forgotten how fucking obsessed he is with carla and this episode like brought it to a new
level he's got this beautiful woman sucking on her finger telling him to she's coming over and
and and and she said to him she said to him to be, he said, he said, girl, you got to slow down.
And she said to him, you're going to be saying that tonight.
Dude.
All right.
Listen.
Can I just pause for a second?
Did anyone notice how adorable I look in this episode?
Of course he doesn't care.
We're getting there.
We're not done yet.
He doesn't care about Kelly Williams.
I love how Krista's like,
guys,
I am bringing it.
Yeah,
guys,
I don't want to,
I don't want to say the obvious reason,
but look who's about to vote.
Right,
right.
Right.
But Krista,
this is before you come into the picture.
But he knows that there's a possibility
that I'm coming over.
You texted him earlier, like, what you doing later? Yeah, what you doing?
What time you get off?
He is so pussy whipped.
I just finished the Drew Carey show.
Let's go.
What's up?
He's so pee whipped that he's gonna
help Judy, Carla, move a
dresser and his
Porsche, by the way, which is not a very good car for moving a dresser.
They're going to strap it to the roof.
Who would ever strap a dresser to the roof of their Porsche?
Somebody who's desperate for that,
for that.
Anyway,
go on.
Yeah.
All right.
Our guest is here.
We're so behind.
We were three minutes in and our guest is here.
So we're going to do a break
and then we're going to come back with more fun.
And we're going to hear Krista talk about
how she seduces men,
including Johnny Seaman Dinley and Bill Lawrence.
We'll be right back.
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Hey, my name's Jay Shetty,
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I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan,
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Michael is known for his performances
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The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're
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Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,
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We're back.
Hi there.
What's up, man?
How you doing?
How do you say your name?
Oh, it's just Austin.
Oh, it's Austin.
It said something different on your screen five seconds ago, dude.
Yeah, that's because I usually use him to play D&D, so it's my D&D name.
Oh.
D&D is becoming a running theme on this podcast. We're getting a lot of D&Ders.
Dungeons and Dragons.
Donald, you're not going to go off
on some crazy long dice tangent no no no no no no no no no all right well joelle don't you steal
donald's oprah voice but introduce austin to us hey guys we've got austin in the house big fan
austin uh you want to tell the guys a little bit about why you're a fan of scrubs uh yeah sure so
i got into scrubs when i was a kid. I'm only
like 29.
So I got into scrubs when I was... Only 29?
I don't think you can say... I'm only 29.
I don't think you're allowed to say 29 and only in the same
sentence. That's not the way it goes.
I think only is sort of done at 20.
Yeah.
I'm only
45 and I'm just...
Sorry, you're only 29 only 29 No it's super chill
But my mom was a big fan of the show
My mom was into a bunch of the doctor shows
So I just watched it all the time with my mom
And I got really into it
Kept watching it forever
You got your headset on
Are you a gamer too?
I am I'm a gamer and i like
streaming junk so i got these like big big big they are big and what do you play what do you
what do you stream and or play uh the most because donald's a gamer and uh or ecu stevie before he
had um so many kids man so many kids to deal with kids but what do you play with donald will
probably know what it is.
The game?
So, I mean, right now what I play the most is Animal Crossing.
Okay.
I don't know anything about Animal Crossing.
Krista, your kids probably play Animal Crossing.
I don't know from video games.
Okay.
But what can you, Donald, do you know Animal Crossing?
I have no idea what Animal Crossing is. Austin, can you tell us what the basic idea of Animal Crossing is?
Yeah.
So the basic idea of Animal Crossing is you're a human,
and you have a bunch of anthropomorphic animal friends,
and you all live on this...
In this game, it's an island.
Sometimes it's a town.
They task you, the human, of making the town nice.
And that's kind of it.
You design this town to look how you want,
and you just have a simple life.
You can invite friends over, right?
Yeah, you invite friends over.
It's like The Sims.
It's like The Sims, but you can invite...
Can't you go visit people and really talk to strangers?
You can if you want to.
You can invite friends over.
You can go to other people's islands.
It's really like...
It's a lot like The Sims,
but if you wanted to let a six-year-old play The Sims unsupervised, Animal Crossing is a pretty safe bet.
They can't get into too much weirdness.
Yeah.
I remember when my Sim died.
I got really upset.
You don't die in Animal Crossing, thankfully.
Yeah.
See, you can kill your Sim.
I don't know if you guys have ever killed a Sim.
I've never killed a Sim.
Did they build a graveyard in the backyard?
That's what the graveyards are for. That's what the graveyards are for. Joel, you're smiling. guys have ever killed a Sim. I've never killed a Sim. Did they build a graveyard in the backyard? That's what the graveyards are for.
That's what the graveyards are for.
Joelle, you're smiling.
Have you ever killed a Sim?
Yeah, actually, instead of getting Animal Crossing,
my brothers and I have been obsessively playing Sims 4,
and he built a basement that they could not get out of.
They died of starvation in the basement.
It was great.
It was really sad.
I thought, I was shocked. I was like, you can kill a Sim? Yeah, you can kill your Sim. Don't lockvation in the basement. It was great. It was really sad. I thought I was, I was shocked.
I was like,
you can kill a Sim.
Yeah,
you can kill your Sim.
Don't lock him in the basement.
Austin,
where are you?
Where are you calling from,
man?
I am in Grand Rapids,
Michigan.
Oh,
Michigan in the house.
Right on Austin.
Do you have a question for the legendary Donald Faison or Krista Miller?
Or Zach Graff.
Or you can ask me too.
I,
I do have a question for
Zach and Donald. I was just
curious, like, what
y'all miss the most about
not being on Scrubs anymore? Like,
not being on a project together that's, like,
in-person filming all the time.
This. What you're hearing, Austin,
it's the easiest question to answer, and it's this.
It's like, if you just, you weren't on
before, but just sitting around with Krista and Donald and cracking up,
that's what we would do every day.
And just so happened that we'd also be making a TV show.
But we were just like,
it was our group of friends,
not just the cast,
but the crew and the writers.
And I don't know that I'll ever be lucky enough to have a job where the
assignment is to go and laugh your
ass off all day yeah I really I really missed that it was like a natural drug it was like an
all-natural drug that is gone from my life I mean uh just cracking up five days a week and because
and because we get the opportunity to do this podcast we get to relive it all again you know
what I mean and it's really awesome we were you came on, Austin, we were talking to Krista about things that had nothing to
do with the show.
And we're just pretty much catching up.
Even though we talked to Krista recently, we're still on, now that we have mics in our
face, we're like, let's just, let's talk some more.
Let's talk about some of the great times we had.
So don't you miss that, Krista?
Giggling?
I could do this podcast every day. Let's talk about some of the great times we had. Don't you miss that, Krista, giggling?
I could do this podcast every day.
All I want to do is to be talking to you guys.
We're very excited.
Krista's the first guest in Fake Doctors Real Friends history that was booked twice before she even came on.
Before she even came on once.
She and Bill Lawrence uh are gonna be on
the finale of season one together and uh i predict mayhem i hope that bill asked for a stop hug
during the show oh he will you know you know what it was is that scrubs also i i don't know if that
i worked on a job before where we were truly friends yes and truly friends you're all in this hospital
and and and you're not seeing any other people so you're in it you're doing this funny work which
you know when you're doing it is really funny right and and all the people around are funny
all the writers were talented all the actors
are talented and you could go and be stupid if it didn't work out that was fine because everyone was
doing it and I just felt like my um work got so much better every time I would work on that show
because everyone would elevate you you know there wasn't like the weak link that you didn't, you know, want to be with.
And it was such a special time.
We would finish the show and then hang out on weekends.
Like, no, when does that ever happen again?
I don't know.
I mean, maybe if you're on location somewhere with someone.
But, yeah, it was just a once in a lifetime.
I hope it's not a once inin-a-lifetime experience.
I hope I get to experience something special again.
But I just can't imagine that I'll ever have such a group as we did.
Yeah, we were very lucky.
Awesome.
And the tone was of, like, camaraderie and support.
If anyone did something – you know what it was?
It wasn't the person there that wanted to have all the jokes or was trying to steal focus or doing everyone was happy for everyone
else to be funny yeah and you got a sense like this is this person's time to shine like don't
get in their way let them let them crush it and we were we were like rooting each other on yeah
you got another question my friend I do have another question.
This one's from my mom.
She said she got me into the show, so when I found out, I had to give her a call.
You're almost as big as a mama's boy as Donald and I are.
My mom just wanted to know what was everybody's favorite episode to film.
Krista, you want to go first as our special guest?
Favorite episode. Krista you want to go first as our special guest um favorite episode
um
I
love that scene
that I tell everyone off
and ruin
everybody's life
you have that big monologue and just destroy everybody
yeah and then I tell everybody
but I also will say this.
The moment that I wish I could do over is I don't feel like I took good advantage of being able to have a proper makeout session with Zach Braff.
Oh, my gosh.
You know what I mean?
It just got really uncomfortable.
I just feel like I didn't investigate that as thoroughly as I wanted
to. Oh my gosh.
By the way, she says this shit in front of Bill.
Can you imagine how fucking...
Dear listeners, imagine how awkward it is
when she says this shit in front of Bill.
And she'll be, we'll be standing there
and it will be like a dinner and she'll be like,
you know, Bill, I just, I wish, I just
didn't save her the time, the make-up scenes.
I didn't save her. I didn't say-up scenes. I didn't savor.
I didn't say one more take.
I didn't, like, get into it.
I didn't, you know.
I should have said one more take.
And Bill's just standing there shaking his head.
And I'm like, Krista, shut the fuck up.
And I was like, Zach was a little nervous.
Maybe we could revisit it now.
Yeah.
What can we do?
Oh, my God god it's so awkward
right now can you guys get off the zoom call for a minute um my donald do you want to go i know
what my favorite my favorite episode to shoot was the musical episode i really enjoyed that
there are a bunch of things that i got to do on this show that were bucket list type things. Like I wanted,
I've always wanted to be in a star Wars and I got to do that very early on in
this show.
One of my favorite actors in the whole wide world is,
well,
I should say characters in the whole wide world are characters that Harrison
Ford has played and Indiana Jones was one of them.
And I got the opportunity to do that as well.
But I really, most of all, I enjoyed doing the musical episode
and having to dance and sing.
You know, I front, like, I tell, people ask me,
are you a fan of musical theater?
And I'll lie, and I'll say to them, absolutely not.
I hate musical theater.
You don't say that anymore.
You still say that?
I still say that to people. I'll be like, why don't say that anymore. You still say that. I still say that to people.
I'll be like, why?
I say that a lot.
Yes.
Donald will get in his car without his kids and play Frozen.
I would do that.
Not only Frozen.
I'll play Les Mis in the car.
I play Five Guys Named Moe in the car.
I go all in. But I really enjoyed dancing and singing with these guys.
It was a lot of fun.
My favorite episode is the one we've mentioned before.
It was my first episode directing, and it was one of the most epic episodes we've ever shot
because Bill wanted to give me something that was quite literally impossible to execute
in five days. But I was living my dream. I was working on the show that I was so proud of and
excited about. The episode was huge. It's the one where Donald and I go on a quest over the course
of one night to find Heather Graham's character, Molly, to give her the permission slip,
um,
from Sarah that says I'm allowed to have sex with her.
And Johnny's storyline is that he's has to go do a ride with,
um,
uh,
in an ambulance as part of his,
uh,
training.
And,
um,
Molly Shannon was the guest star and I don't know,
I just really,
I,
it turned out really great.
And,
um,
as Donald,ald uh reminded me
i at some point said i would do you say it i was treated by a coyote donald or yeah no yeah you
said i was treated by a coyote where you been i was treated by a coyote no i go i go i go i go to
you how the hell did you get up there i was treated by a coyote. Yeah. I love it when Donald does his Woody Allen impression.
I was treed by a coyote.
I was treed.
So that was a really great episode.
And I just felt really proud of it.
And I pulled it off.
And it was one of those things where it's one of my favorite episodes.
We'll give you one more question if you have it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that was Justin, guys.
Thank you.
No, we didn't tell the guy he was gonna have three
um how are people staying sane in this pandemic what you've been up to you know this is an escape
for us to be honest with you this is how we stay sane this if i didn't have this outlet you know
my wife said to me uh actually this morning uh was like, you don't understand, man.
You have a outlet.
You get to talk to your best friend and you get to talk to the people that you worked with for over 10, you know, for 10 years.
You get to talk to them once or twice a week.
I don't have an outlet like that.
So she's going insane right now.
You know what I mean? And she's with that. So she's going insane right now. You know what I mean?
And she's with the kids while I'm doing this right now.
But this is an escape for me.
And I wish I could bring my wife up in here
so she could enjoy this too,
because she would have such a great time doing it.
She should come on one day, I just realized.
She would love to come on.
That would be hilarious.
And she would be so funny.
She's very funny.
She would also embarrass the shit out of me too,
by talking about me,
talking about things that I don't necessarily want.
We're going to have to do – we should one day like – if we keep doing this,
we should do like the significant others guest on the show.
Right.
Right.
And how they dealt with –
We'll test it out with Bill and Krista on the season one finale and see how it goes.
But awesome.
That's how I stay sane.
Me too.
Me too. Me too.
I'm the same way,
man.
I look so forward to this and especially seeing the reaction to it and
people loving it so much.
It's just,
it's mind boggling to us.
And so it is,
it's like therapy.
We come here and we,
we laugh and,
and,
and giggle and act stupid.
And I'm,
I'm really loving it.
How are you staying sane?
How are you staying sane over there?
Um,
I've been writing with someone. I've been,
you know, all my kids are here. It's, you know, in LA, we have a good setup. You know,
we have croquet in the backyard. We play croquet every afternoon. We had a very rousing game of
code names last night, which was very fun. You know, I'm happy just doing my thing.
By the way, as we started the show, Austin, you weren't here,
but there are certain people that are so happy, you know,
that the world has given them permission to not have to leave their house,
and Krista's one of those.
She's like, oh, no one gets to tell me that I have to go do things?
I'm fine.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm totally fine.
What about you, Austin? how are you staying sane you know a lot of video games a lot of i picked up like a bunch of extra tabletop gaming
besides dnd since this all started um what's one you can recommend uh to our listeners but that's
not too hard because i know some of these tabletop games are very complicated like D&D.
But if someone who's listening, including myself, wanted to kind of get into the world of tabletop gaming, what is one or two that you recommend?
One I really recommend is Bubble Gumshoe.
Bubble Gumshoe.
I'm running that down.
It is.
Can kids play it?
Kids can play it. You play as a teenage detective.
Okay.
So you're a teen detective and the rules are pretty simple.
The character sheet, I have mine right here.
It's like a single page.
There's not a bunch of complex rules you have to remember,
a bunch of math you got to do.
So there's that one.
What about another one?
Bubblegum Show.
I wrote that down.
Another one is No Thank You Evil.
I believe is the name.
Thank you.
Evil.
Can my kids play that too?
Your kids can play that one too.
It is an all ages tabletop RPG game that scales the rules depending on how old the kid is.
That's so smart.
Donald, you should be writing this down.
Fucker, it's right there.
Come on. Because Donald could have like 40 players at his house. Oh, you should be writing this down. It's right there. Donald could have like 40 players
at his house.
Fuck you, man. There's not that
many of us.
Casey got pregnant
while we were on this podcast.
Listen,
what about Settlers of Catan? I always hear about
that. It feels like that's the most
famous for us non
board game people. That's the most famous one you hear that. It feels like that's the most famous for us non-board game people.
That's the most famous one you hear about.
Do you like that one?
I don't like Settlers of Catan.
Nothing against the artists who worked on it or the team who made it.
Sorry to interrupt, but both of our producers lost their shit.
I want you to know that both of our producers sometimes have their cameras off.
They both flip their cameras on to show how fucking living.
Dan is walking away.
Dan, you gotta come back.
Dan walked away.
Joelle almost fell off her chair.
I'm just a humble fan.
I mean, I love Settlers of Catan.
Oh my God.
No, it's fine.
I just want you to know you gave both of our producers
a heart attack just now.
Yeah, I'm not a big fan
of Settlers of Catan.
Oh my God.
Say it again so everybody knows.
No, I don't know.
Entirely.
I know.
Now the show,
Joelle just left the room.
She had to go off.
Yeah, not big on Settlers.
All right.
Well, listen, I'm here to tell you, everyone.
I don't know Settlers with a can,
but I can tell you that there are very strong opinions
on both sides of loving or hating.
Austin, we got to go because we've already run so long.
Thank you so much for coming.
Thanks for being a fan.
And thanks for the recommendations on the games.
Yeah, thanks so much for having me.
Do you want to mention your Twitch stream?
Oh, sure.
Yeah, I stream with Welcome to the Party RPG
every Saturday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
where you can watch me play Bubblegum Shoe.
Well, there you go, guys.
I think Krista will be definitely tuning in.
Yes.
No, but I'd love to watch you play.
And I can't wait to tune in to watch you and Joelle and Dan play Settlers of Catan and have them change their mind on it.
Thank you, everybody.
Y'all have a lovely day.
Bye, Austin.
Thank you so much.
You too, Austin.
Wow.
We've been doing this for 18 episodes.
I've never seen Joelle or Dan get that worked up about anything.
They got very worked up just now.
Joelle gets worked up when we talk Star Wars.
I know, but I got to tell you, that was the best ad for Settlers of Catan I've ever seen.
Ever in the history.
I know, but we are going to get them as an advertiser now because our producers flipped out.
All right.
When the janitor says, this stethoscope is mine, and then he says into the stethoscope,
it's getting hot, red bird.
Pull me out.
That shit was funny.
I laughed.
I laughed at that, too.
That's clearly a Neil improv because there's no way that was written into the script.
I did love the sea story of Donald and Sarah finding out about Ken Jenkins' musical
past, but I do love
Donald and Sarah
together.
The chemistry with the two
of them is very unique.
I wrote at the end of this, I wrote,
I really enjoyed
watching Sarah and I together.
And we
didn't get to do a lot i don't recall us doing
a lot together while making the show so going back and seeing this it was like holy shit
uh we had a good little uh dynamic duo thing going yeah and it's a it's a it's kind of an
unusual chemistry it's it's definitely different in a way like you're both kind of silly like there's some
bumbling element to it that's very funny like you have a line reading when you're you're still
holding on to her finger because she swore to you that she wasn't going to do the thing
and then a second she sees ken she's she says i heard you did the music. And you went, you swore.
I didn't notice that they were still touching pinkies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're still holding each other's pinkies.
And then I pull away, you swore.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I enjoyed that a lot.
Going back and looking at this, who knew Ken Jenkins was that good of a guitar player dude i know i
knew he had a great voice i forgot that he could play the guitar like that dude it sounded like
he was he was bluesing out man he was going hard was that actually him playing yeah yeah yeah
clearly him playing yeah yeah oh my gosh um you know it funny. Most of the cast, with the exception of Sarah, when we did the musical, could really sing.
Yeah.
Had some form of musical talent.
Although Sarah does dance in this episode.
Sarah can dance.
Her dance in this episode is very adorable.
Yes.
Her I told you so dance.
Yeah.
I told you so.
I told you so.
I remember that went a lot further, but they cut it for the episode like
she gets into the full splits when uh and and when we would play the the gag reel and they let that
thing go at one point she got all the way down into a full split but i guess for the show they
felt it was going oh really so if you're interested you guys can watch the uh the blooper slash gag
reel of season one and there's probably video of video of Sarah extending that dance for a long ass time.
I told you so.
I told you so, all the way down to the split.
Yeah.
She's so adorable when she dances.
Yeah.
She's so adorable in general.
I know.
I miss her.
I really do.
We don't get to see Sarah that much because she's often in Canada.
But when the world's not closed down, we see Krista and Bill, and obviously Donald and I see each other.
We don't ever see Chalky, as we call her.
Yeah, I do miss her.
You know what I missed this year was the Easter celebration
that you guys do at your house every year.
Krista often has a beautiful Easter party with bunnies.
With bunnies.
With bunnies.
Everyone was sad.
And I thought we would do it this summer.
But we can't.
So we're just going to have to wait until next year.
And the Easter book this year is amazing.
And I was just thinking as I was talking to you guys,
I have to send you some of the pictures because I have pictures of you
and Zach and Johnny C that are so sweet.
Like you just have your arms, like really sweet pictures.
I love that party you have.
And every year that I'm going, I'm like a little kid because I'm like, I'm excited to
see everyone.
But then in my head, I'm like bunnies.
My kids love that party so much.
They can't, you know, there's an Easter egg hunt.
There's, you know, there are bunnies.
There are goats.
There are a bunch of different animals.
Baskets.
Baskets.
Oh, my gosh.
They love it.
And for the adults, alcohol.
Yeah.
Alcohol.
But also, everyone knows each other.
It's kind of a great group.
Yeah, it is a great group.
Diana Ross comes.
It's just all good.
You guys throw a really good party.
I think when the world opens up you
should throw a bash yeah okay throw a bash i'll tell bill let's throw a bash for the world um
so krista miller booty call is at 7 35 uh it's a great entrance krista you walk you walk right in
you're like you don't even knock on the door you're like let's do this hey honey honey i'm home
that's what she says honey Honey, I'm home.
She goes right to the bar, starts pouring herself a drink.
And he says something stupid.
She's like, if you're going to talk like that, I need to pour me a bigger drink.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That's so boring.
So boring.
You know, we never learn about Jordan's other love interests. I mean, clearly Jordan was, I'm sure, not solely using Dr. Cox as a booty call,
or maybe she was. I don't know. What do you think? I don't think so. No. No.
You don't think so? Well, we saw you. You were one of the booty calls.
No, I was never your booty call. Well, yeah, that's true. Yeah, you were.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was, I was, I was. Yeah, so I think she's having her way with lots of men probably, right?
Yeah.
But does she think in the back of her mind,
did Jordan think in the back of her mind
that she was going to get back with Cox eventually?
I don't know.
It's always crazy these people that get divorced and then get remarried.
That's such a...
And Johnny C. also had like four or five vasectomies it's always crazy these people that get divorced and then get remarried that's such a that's such a also didn't
and Johnny C also had like
four or five
vasectomies
and then reversed vasectomies too
for you though
yeah for me
yeah
yeah
can you really reverse
a vasectomy with
with
I mean you can right
yeah
that's what the doctor said
when he did mine
he told me don't worry
we can reverse this shit
really
oh yeah
and anytime and when
casey starts getting itchy again we might have to do it that's all i know
now i'm bullshit we're not gonna have no more kids you crazy it's a shame that you snipped
yourself donald you make such beautiful children they're so beautiful thank you very very much and
i know it's expensive but you know next time you get some big-ass job,
you're going to be like, I need to plant my seed.
No.
Donald, how many kids do you have, like 14?
47.
Yeah, it's up there now.
I mean, I see like 12 of them at Easter, which makes me happy.
Yeah, and then the other 30-something.
Now, Donald, tell us about Holy Son of a Cracker, because I...
I remember when I had to say that, and you know who gave me that?
It was Bill Lawrence.
There's no way Bill wrote Holy Son of a Cracker.
Bill Lawrence on set came to me and said, say Holy Son of a Cracker.
I was like, what?
Say Holy Son of a Cracker. I was like, say holy son of a cracker i was like george jefferson
used to say cracker all the time yeah man it's a derog you know okay so look for those of you who
don't know yeah and think cracker doesn't mean anything when somebody says that a cracker is
somebody of the opposite uh race who cracks a whip on black people that That's where cracker comes from. That's where cracker comes from.
You are below
other white people
because all you are is a whip
cracker. I see.
So that's what you're calling JD?
JD is called
a...
Just checking
that that's what you're calling your best friend?
I'm just putting it out there.
So when Bill said that shit, I was really he was like say it i was like okay
but don't you think isn't it the fun the most fun part in scrubs when bill would you'd be doing
a joke and bill whisper something in your ear and he'd say don't say anything so you haven't
told anyone that you're going to change the queue line for them.
And then you say something like son of a cracker and then everyone laughs.
It's the, it's the best.
It's the best feeling.
You know, who would never laugh though is fucking Neil Flynn.
You could never say anything where he'd be like, I didn't think that was funny.
I, you caught me off guard.
He would always
be right away ready to go again. Krista, was it Stuff or Maxim Magazine that you were on the
cover of? I was the first Maxim Magazine cover girl. Okay. That is awesome. That's amazing.
Bill said he used to walk around town holding the magazine talking about,
this is my girlfriend. Have you seen magazine talking about, this is my girlfriend.
Have you seen a new Maxim?
This is my girlfriend.
Yeah, that was really fun and cool.
Yeah.
So holy son of a cracker.
And I remember also that day you were there.
We were doing the scene, and we tried to convince Lawrence Trilling,
who directed this episode, to put lotion on the side of the bed. So when Turk rolls over and says to Carla, hey, so since we're up, and she goes, no, no, no, instead of him going back to sleep, we tried to make it so that I rolled over and then squeezed lotion into my head.
We definitely shot that.
We definitely shot that. Didn't we shoot that?
We definitely shot that.
Yeah, we definitely shot that.
Bill didn't put it in.
Bill didn't want it.
That was hilarious.
That was one of those things where he was like,
you know, I showed it to Krista and she was like.
Yeah, that's probably exactly.
Krista said, that's inappropriate.
Krista didn't like a masturbation joke.
So speaking of that, 1023, when I come in
and my parents are playing wheelbarrow,
and that's me, the voice of my own father, being like, go back to bed.
I'm fixing mommy's back.
Which is very interesting because the very next episode, John Ritter.
Yes, John Ritter.
John Ritter.
It's such a shame that we can't, I didn't even know who to have on.
I actually thought about having his son on, but then I thought, I don't know if Jason
even watched an episode of Scrubs, but we're going to have to turn that episode into just
a beautiful memorial.
Krista in bed with Johnny C. He's ripped, Krista.
So if you're going to have a scene partner, at least you get the very muscular uh Johnny C yes and I imagine this was one of those days where you're like dude if you put
all of that fucking grease on your body I'm gonna kill you yeah I can't do this
he would also do lots of push-ups right yes yeah one secret for you young actors out there is that
if you do lots of push-ups right before your scene, it at least makes you
look a little bit more ripped. But not that
Johnny needed the help. He's pretty damn ripped.
But Johnny would always bang out a whole bunch of push-ups.
But I did notice that this is one of those episodes
where the Crisco was light. It was light.
It was light. Light on the Crisco.
You guys will have to have me on
when you get
way farther down in seasons,
when I had to come in after giving birth to Will,
two weeks after giving birth to Will,
and slide around with Johnny C in bed just lubed up.
Oh, my gosh.
That's for another show.
So he would make his muscles glisten?
Or no, I think it was supposed to be
post-sex you're supposed to be sweaty right no dude his muscles glisten dude that was his thing
all right well he the man likes to glisten if you have those pectoralis majors shine them up
yeah let's see it donald i laughed when you said um have you guys ever stopped to think that maybe
bunny is just a real bunny turk is so dumb that was like a toddler yeah
he's so dumb i remember watching that i was like what so krista do you think that she was
jealous but then was the last thing in the world she was going to do was let him think that she was jealous. Of course. Well, this is my motto in life also.
So that was sort of method acting.
Yes, it was.
Right on.
That's so funny.
And also, speaking of very Krista things,
when you're in the cafeteria at 1609
and they get in a fight and you go,
I should leave.
And then you stare up.
And you just stay there.
When Krista hears a good bit of gossip, she'll often kiss her fingers like she's licking off the juices.
It's so delicious.
I swear to you.
She'll do this face, John, when you put your fingers through her mouth.
I literally wrote down in my notes, that is so Krista, being like, I should leave, but not leaving.
Not leaving at all.
All right.
How did they do the sweat thing on you, dude?
There was like a little hidden hose, tiny little hose in my hairline.
And I think that's how it was done.
And then it just drips.
They just open it up and it just dripped all over my face.
That was crazy.
That was well done yeah yeah also when you got on that elevator this is an argument in bill's favor
where maybe the janitor is in jd's mind because i think this is the this is the one time where
he gets hey hey killer how you doing after After you're very, very distraught
because you feel like you didn't do enough
for the patient who just died,
and you walk onto the elevator
and the janitor's there,
and he's like, hey, killer.
And it sends you even further down the road.
But how would he know that?
Right, that too.
And then you walk out.
See you later, killer.
That's true.
Krista makes a good point.
How would he even know that I lost a patient?
He just knows everything. He's all-knowing, that jan he he's yeah but um but we've already proven that time and time again donald i'm just saying this is one of those
moments where this is one of those moments where bill doesn't even have defenses anymore he just
yells five six seven eight right krista i don't know if you know this because i don't know how
much you're listening to this but bill Bill yelling five, six, seven,
eight to start our theme song has become a fan favorite joke. On my Instagram, every other
comment is just five, six, seven, eight, which is a shout out to your husband.
He wanted me to do that today, and I said no.
We made a rule. We made a rule. You're allowed to count in. I think you should count in when
we're done with the show.
We decided in the world of the podcast,
Bill is the only one, because he's the creator of the show,
with the power to start the theme song without our permission.
Right, Donald?
Yeah, he's the only one.
Like, I don't even get the power to do that
unless it's for the show ending.
Yes, if it's not at the end of the beginning.
Yeah, Bill has magical powers and
can always start the he's the only one that can do that that didn't look like a firing squad either
but that joke was hilarious as fuck uh i'm okay i'm okay i'm okay i'm okay i'm okay i'm okay i'm
okay and then they catch the firing squad you know the putting the blindfold on you it looked
like a comedy club with the spotlight on you and everything.
And so when you go, I'm okay,
that shit had me. I laughed so
fucking hard at that, dude. That was very funny.
I'm okay. I need to do over.
I think the brick backdrop was a mistake
because you're right. It looked like a comedy club.
You need a different backdrop for
the, I don't know what the correct
backdrop for
firing squad is, but brick wall is not it no i don't think so
or whatever but i thought that was hilarious so then ken sings and it's very beautiful and um
and he's the song of the he's the song of the episode in this i don't know if that
song is a made-up song or this might be a good question for should we ask bill have chris to
ask bill he's not gonna remember he's just gonna say five six good question for should we ask bill have chris to ask bill he's
not gonna remember he's just gonna say five six seven eight but should we it might be fun if chris
to ask bill a question do you want me to i can intercom him in his office oh yeah let's see if
he'll answer in his penitent here we go all right let me scroll down my mansion buttons. Billiards.
Billiards, indoor pool, outdoor pool.
We have a question for you.
We're on the podcast.
We're on the podcast right now.
You're on the podcast.
The song that Ken Jenkins sings at the end of 118,
is that a made-up song or is that a song?
It was Tuscaloosa Heart.
Are you taping me now?
Yeah, we're taping you now. Tuscaloosa Heart. Tuscaloosa Heart.
It was a made-up
song
and we were just goofing around with it
and he helped us come up
with it because he always used to fiddle his guitar
and it was a Broadway thing.
The second that I asked him
to do it, he's like,
should it be something like this?
And I'm like, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Hang up on him.
Hang up on him, please.
Turn it off.
This fucking guy.
No matter what you do,
you keep
giving him.
How many chances can we give him?
How many chances?
You know, I feel like it's like Lucy and Peanuts with the football.
I mean, how many chances are we going to give this guy?
You never learn.
We never learn.
We never learn.
Great episode.
Great episode.
I did find it funny that Johnny C has just had sex with Jordan twice, and then he's looking for boobs on TV.
I mean, this guy's –
I didn't understand that either, like boobs.
I didn't understand looking for boobs.
I think it's supposed to say that he's lonesome and that he's – this booty call is you, but you guys aren't getting back together.
And so you've sabotaged his chances with this woman, and now he is just back on his couch alone trying to look for boobs on TV.
But my brain went like, dude, you just had sex twice with Jordan, who's such a babe, and now you're on your couch looking for boobs on TV?
That makes no sense.
Yeah.
Unless you have Donald's libido, it makes no sense.
Well, even with my libido, after three times, I'm good for a while, dude.
At least for a couple of – An hour, dude. At least for an hour.
Yeah, for a few hours.
Hold on.
Charlotte, you're being, Char?
Charlotte's being a little loud outside my office.
Charlotte can make a cameo if she wants to.
Hey, Char.
Bart.
Come here.
We'll give her a chance to plug her music.
Yeah.
Come say hi to Zach's podcast, to Zach and donald are you guys on it right now yes we're on it yeah look here you can see
we're on right now booty hole what's up booty hole there's no there's no video charlotte so
you can look all the booty hole you want oh incredible can you guys hear me properly we
can hear you absolutely Absolutely. You know,
I follow you on Instagram and I love your music. Thanks, Donald. I follow you too.
Charlotte, like millions of people listen to this. So you have to tell them where to find your music.
Look up Charlotte Lawrence, guys, and have fun with it charlotte lawrence on spotify apple music everywhere we knew
this this this girl when she was a baby i would be on scrub sets when i was little i wait do you
know what people might not know that's a little fun fact yeah fun fact at the end of every scrubs
episode when it says dozer when it's like the end credits, you hear, bye-bye. And it's me from when I was two years old on set.
Wow.
Uh-huh.
Take that, Scrub Wiki.
Take that, Scrubs Wiki.
Yeah, Scrubs Wiki.
You didn't know that.
And Charlotte, didn't you do a cameo when you were a little bit older, like as a little
girl?
Didn't you dance?
Yeah, I just posted it for mom's birthday.
It was like,
uh,
Jordan had a flashback and she imagined she had her own talk show.
And then she was talking to some girl and was like,
you're boring as hell.
Just watch me dance with a little girl who looks just like me instead.
So I came on and I remember I got to skip school for it.
Even I was like the happiest I've ever been because my school had like really serious uniforms that you had to follow.
And I showed up to school like in makeup and hair and a full outfit.
I was like, yeah, guys, I was working.
I was acting.
Charlotte, that was probably the beginning of you wanting to go into being a performer.
Like it was.
Oh, definitely.
I was too happy being in front of the camera dancing.
I was like, please just keep filming me.
I never want to stop.
You guys were doing the running man.
Yeah. It was so fun. like, please just keep filming me. I never want to stop. You guys were doing the running man. Yeah.
It was so fun.
No, but it was so funny.
My mom was like, okay, I brought your uniform
so you can change in the car when you went back to school.
I was like, no, no, no.
I'm acting.
I'm an actor, and everyone needs to know that I'm an actor now.
Right on.
Right on.
Well, we miss you.
We miss your whole family, Donald and I.
We wish we could come over and hang out with you guys.
I miss you guys so much, we miss your whole family, Donald and I. We wish we could come over and hang out with you guys. I miss you guys so much. My uncles,
my family. I was so sad
when Easter came along because we
always have the most fun at the Easter party.
We talked about it on the podcast.
It's the party of the year.
Party of the year.
And bunnies. And bunnies.
And goats.
In my mind, the bunnies are always at your house.
Always. They're just underneath the house.
We let them out only on Easter.
All right, darling. Put your mom back on
so we can close this show up.
Thanks for letting me interrupt.
We love you. I love you guys. Bye.
I love you, Mama.
We have Winnie beneath you. Will you take
the doggies out?
Krista is such an amazing momager. I want everyone
to know that she's wearing a Charlotte Lawrence hoodie.
Yes, of course.
Represent, represent.
Krista, this was so fun.
We went, I think, the longest we've ever gone.
Ever.
But the fans seem to love that.
And thank you for coming on.
Thank you for having me.
I have more stuff to ask you, but I'll wait until the season finale.
I worry that Bill is going to just hog all her airtime.
So, Krista, make sure that you lay down the rules.
There's room for you to speak.
I will.
I will tell you that he said before I came up, he goes, make sure to tell them that that outfit, you know, like men's pants and a tank top is my favorite, sexiest outfit.
And I was like, I will.
And he goes, well, I'm also telling you.
Do you remember, you know, that men's pants and a tank top?
I'm like, no, I got it.
We're in quarantine.
I'm in sweatpants.
I'm wearing my daughter's hoodie.
Cool it.
That's funny.
So we know that.
A little trivia about Bill.
He likes a white tank top on his, on his, on his gals.
Yes.
That's what he likes.
All right.
Thank you guys for listening.
Krista,
get ready.
Cause you're going to five,
six,
seven,
eight us in.
If you have questions,
go to scrubs.
I heart at Gmail.
Tell us on Instagram,
anything you want to tell us.
That's the last thing Donald and I,
I think you're still reading these days.
We really appreciate y'all listening. Tell
your friends, because this thing is blowing
up, and we want everyone to know about it. We're having
so much fun.
And, you know,
haters gotta hate,
and we understand that.
If you're the person telling Donald
to stop doing his Oprah voice, you really are getting
to him, and so stop trolling his ass,
because we love it when he does his Oprah voice, you really are getting to him. And so stop trolling his ass because we love it when he does his Oprah voice.
He's not getting to me.
Okay.
Or she's not getting to me.
We love it.
All right, Krista, count us into our theme song. It's time to sing.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Here's some stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses and a Canada who love me. I said he's got stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm.
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