Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 209.5: My Happy Accident With John C. McGinley
Episode Date: August 4, 2020In this episode - record scratch. So, remember how Zach thought Johnny C. would be on episode 209? Well, turns out, so did Johnny. He took notes and everything! So, instead of asking Johnny to come ba...ck later, we decided to have a conversation about one of his best performances, and what it's like working with Oliver Stone. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Join me on my new podcast,
Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks
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This season, teens will share all about
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Hey, it's Alec Baldwin.
This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing,
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and so many other fascinating people,
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You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes.
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Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I said there's no way, no way I could get you down, down, down, without falling down that ramp.
There's no way.
But Donald's singing.
You may know, if you're an avid listener of Fake Doctors, Real Friends, that Donald and I are big fans of a Songify moment.
We sang, he's driving in your window.
He's climbing in your window.
They snatching your people up.
Uh-huh.
Hide your kids.
Hide your wife.
Well, we are a sucker for Songify moments, and I sent Donald what is probably the greatest song of the summer.
Oh, my gosh.
It's my new bop.
Dan, you're going to have to edit this in sounding better than I have it.
But I have to play this for you.
And I got to give a shout out to these guys.
Oh, they're called the Gregory Brothers, you guys.
You can find them on Twitter, at Gregory Brothers.
Yeah, go ahead, Donald.
I just want to say, I didn't know, first of all,
I had no idea that Donald Trump was a poet.
He's a poet.
He rhymes in his speeches, and I didn't even know.
Listen, Donald and I have been talking about back and forth, sometimes with you, sometimes privately on our phone, about what are our favorite songs of summer.
We've been talking about T-Swift.
We played you Toby Sebastian last episode.
But listen, this is the song of the summer you guys and donald
and i haven't seen it to each other okay now for those you don't know uh donald trump had trouble
making it down a ramp you know i don't fault the guy i mean i fault him for lots of things but you
know he's in his 70s there was no banister but then he had to go brag about it okay he had to
go brag about it and these guys songified the bragging. So here you go. Here's the song of summer.
There's no way.
There's no way.
I can make it down that ramp.
Without falling on my ass.
Yeah.
There's no way.
Hey.
There's no way.
General, I'm a rapper so fast.
No way for the hook, Joel.
I don't want that.
And this was a steel ramp.
Really, really steep. No hand, girl. I don't want that.
No way.
Fire.
No way.
Fire.
Wait, wait for this part.
Here we go again.
Here we go.
Itch by itch. I ran. Each by each.
I ran.
Oh, my God.
Down the ramp.
That's the part I favorite.
I ran.
Everybody go down the ramp.
I ran.
Down the ramp.
Oh, my God.
I love that song, you guys.
I ran. That's my favorite, you guys. I ran.
That's my favorite hook right there.
I ran down the ramp.
That's a hook.
Fucking DJ Khaled couldn't write that hook.
Another one. He heard that like all of us did and was like, damn, that's a bop.
I never heard a Songify song that I wanted a full song to.
That's only a minute long.
I want the whole fucking song.
I ran.
I said there's no way.
No way.
I can make it down that ramp without falling on my ass.
There's no way.
And then he goes, I ran.
I ran.
Down the ramp.
So congrats to those Gregory brothers.
That's a bop, as the kids say.
That is a bop.
Dude, that is a bop.
How are you, man?
Oh, man.
I ran.
Everyone's going to be singing that.
You know what everybody's singing, other than that song?
What you trying to get into, Adele Shun? What you trying to get into Adeo Shun
What you trying to do
It is a ringtone, y'all.
It's a ringtone.
Joelle, is it officially available for everybody?
It should be.
By the time this airs,
it should officially be available.
Those of you who are clamoring,
clamoring for the hottest ringtone of summer,
the Adeo Shun song.
Look at your beard.
That is a big beard.
I committed to it.
But you look great.
It looks thick.
It's very, yeah, I got hair on my face.
Does Casey like to run her fingers through it?
Me and Casey don't be, you know,
listen, man, we don't like to kiss and tell, okay?
Oh.
Well, you don't have to tell me what you did sexually,
but you can tell me if she ran her fingers through it i'm not asking you if she fucking let you spank her but
did you oh my god inappropriate i ran down the road
no we're family casey casey lets me know things no she, she doesn't. She does.
She does?
My wife tells you shit?
No, no, you know she doesn't.
But when we're together as couples, we sometimes speak openly.
Right.
It's crazy, man, with this whole quarantine thing going.
We see each other every day, all day.
All day.
I love my wife tremendously.
But once we put the kids down, we kind of separate a little bit, and we go in our own rooms, and she watches her date lines, and I watch my- It's just like this episode that we're going to talk about.
Well, this episode is-
You fall asleep.
Judy wants romance.
Carla wants romance, and she wants some sex.
You fall asleep during the Jefferson's theme song.
But, yeah,
but that's after we have sex, though, first of all.
I don't know. So is the joke that you
only lasted the length of the theme
song to the Jefferson's? No, he didn't even
last the length of the theme song.
It was like, well, here we're moving on. He probably got
beans done fried in the kitchen.
Beans done burned on the grill.
He probably got to that.
Yeah, and then he finished.
And he's like, took a whole lot of trees.
Because you're right.
Because now we know you finished in the first couple lyrics.
Because by the time we get to sky, the camera tilts down and you're asleep.
Right.
So you needed time to at least clean yourself up and snuggle up.
Took a whole lot of trying.
Yeah, now let's assume you finished it trying.
Now we up in the big league.
Okay, now you're cleaning yourself up.
Get my turn at bed.
Kind of cuddling up to her.
As long as we living, it's you and me, baby.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
We've been moving on up.
Oh, okay. I think nothing wrong with that. We've been moving on up. Oh, okay.
I think he might have lasted longer.
I think he might have lasted longer because if you back time it,
you only need about a few words to get cuddly and fall asleep.
So took a whole lot of terrain.
Yeah, find a later spot for your ejaculation.
Then found me up in the big league.
Get my turn at bat.
No. No.
No, I think it came at ain't nothing wrong with that.
Get my turn at bat.
As long as we living, it's you and me, baby.
It ain't nothing wrong with that.
I said we're moving on up.
That's probably how it timed out.
Yeah. That's probably how it timed out. Yeah.
That's probably how it timed out.
Well, welcome to Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
We have Johnny C. McGinley here today for a very, very, very good episode.
I just watched it.
It's really good.
Yeah, I watched it also just now.
I watched it, and I don't think I need a –
First of all, before we get away, we should 5, 6, 7, 8. Mission 5678. Here's some stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of docs and nurses in a Canada who love to hate.
I said here's some stories that you all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, hello there.
Thunderous applause.
Thunderous applause, Dan. Turn your key, Donald.
Turn your key.
Hi, Zachy.
Look at you.
Look at you.
How are you, sir?
You're back in your echoey room.
You're back in your echoey room, Johnny.
I know because Nicole has a migraine.
She's upstairs
and when she gets them they're blackout and so oh no that's horrible yeah it's uh the worst thing
on the planet but i am down here and um i'm really sorry that that that we have the echo but i can't
go up there well listen the audience is so fucking excited whenever you come on. I think they will handle an echo because all we get on our social media is,
when is Johnny C. McGinley coming back on?
You're everybody's favorite guest.
Everybody loves your story of your leeches attacking your, what did you call it?
Your man?
My power source.
Power source.
Johnny, I laugh all the time. And it latched on to the power source. Yes, there were leeches all over his power source. Johnny, I laugh all the time.
And it latched on to the power source.
Yes, there were leeches all over his power source.
I thought the last couple of guests you've had on were fascinating.
I thought Brendan was just so interesting.
And it's always fun to listen to how geeked out you guys get, whether it was with Heather,
because Zach, you were clearly uncomfortable.
And I understand that
completely dude i want the audience to know that i tried my best but i was you i mean i grew up and
she was like she probably was a poster on my wall i mean she was heather fucking lachrym and i may
be 45 years old but i was just as giddy yeah she's fine i i completely appreciate that because when she was on the set
and i was very single um yeah i did i i i would no sooner even occurred to me to approach her
that way because she was something else yeah yeah she's out of it but there you were dude there you
were having uh sex scenes with uh a goddess, with a living goddess.
That was acting.
That was out of my weight class, man.
Totally out of my weight class.
Kind of like JD hitting on GIF.
First of all, there's no –
Sarah Lancaster.
I'm watching this fucking episode.
And the idea of JD getting Sarah Lancaster, A, who plays GIF shop girl,
and then B, not
being able to get a hard-on
for her. I just found unrealistic television.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but
I call bullshit on this writing.
First of all, it's written by
Angela Nissel
and directed by Gail Mancuso.
Angela Nissel, the by Gail Mancuso. Angela Nissel, American woman.
I have to
stop before we go any further.
I looked at 209.
You looked at the wrong episode.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, Johnny?
I think you guys should start over without me
because I have no idea what 210 is.
I have copious notes on 209.
Which one's 209?
209's when you and I have my favorite scene we ever did together.
When I tell you it wasn't a favorite, it was my job at the end of the episode.
Oh, I love that.
How do we salvage
this johnny because we're so excited to have you on well i know how we can salvage it because i had
an overriding angle that i wanted to look at and it's inspired by what you guys have told me and
uptown girls and uh some of your adventures in New York City
when you guys were in that apartment,
what happened between season one and season two,
since I haven't talked to you since the end of season one,
for me was that I had a C plus comedy come out
with Jason Lee and Tom green called stealing Harvard.
And I spent the entire hiatus and Jackie,
you came to visit me at Columbia, uh, doing identity with James Mengel.
Right. And, uh, it,
and I would suggest to you that what we do in our hiatuses informs what we do
when we get back in front of the lens and that you bring
that either those assets or liabilities with you and and it informs the way you grow in front of
the lens yes i i agree but wait how are you saying that this informed when we came back together for season two?
Because what I brought, having spent those, I don't know, nine weeks with Jim Mangold,
you know, I'm Mr. Verb, and my overriding objective in season two was to contribute.
And then this counterintuitive thing happened where I wanted to cox, I wanted to contribute by capitulating in front of the lens.
I'll tell you what I mean.
I was starting to get too busy at the end of season one and intoxicated with the eccentricities of all the craziness. And what happened on Identity, which was the name of the film that Jim directed with
Johnny and Ray and Amanda, was that everything just kept getting stripped down. Molina, all
these people, he just kept stripping stuff down. And it occurred to me that I was bringing too
much baggage in between action and cut. And so what he decided was that what the capitulation would be, would,
would be that I was going to get out of the way. And at no point was it more on point than when
you and I were in that doctor's lounge at the end of 209, unfortunately. And you, you had been chesty. J.D. had been chesty the whole episode.
And finally, they get to come together, and Cox lets him off the hook.
But in letting him off the hook, there's a surrender in that, too.
There's a capitulation.
And it's the cleanest scene I can remember that I can remember.
I can't remember. You know, like Donald and I.
Jack, you have a better memory than us, but I can't remember all this stuff.
But I agree, Johnny, because one of the things I said when we talked about that was the episode was so, you know, the show is so silly and can be and can go all over the place in fantasies.
But what I'm so proud of in this show when it worked was how we would just
drop in and be straight.
And,
and that scene with you and I,
uh,
in,
in,
in that room to me is,
is one of the best of,
of the series.
And it's so,
it's so simple.
It's probably 45 second scene,
but I think you and I,
I was so vulnerable and you were so vulnerable.
And,
and,
and up to this point,
there's been,
there's been almost no,
maybe once or twice you give in, Cox gives in
and is willing to give him some mentorship.
But this was a real first time, I think,
that Cox is this vulnerable in front of him,
telling him that this is my job.
My job is to make sure you don't fuck up.
But there's also, it's a combination,
and you as a filmmaker surely will
appreciate this and donald as well is that the scene starts out with this great dolly over your
shoulder and then we land on cox and that fucking great music cue already started when donald jumped
off the couch to go put rowdy on the fourth floor. And it's under pressure with Queen and Bowie.
And just everything.
And I can't remember.
I think Larry Trillian shot it.
And everything that could come together in a 24-minute TV show came together.
And that doesn't always happen.
And when it does, and it shouldn't happen, it's impossible.
The schedule is impossible.
And everything is working against you.
And when it does, it's magic.
Yeah.
It's so fun too when those moments happen in both, you know, as an actor, you just kind of go at it all the time.
And sometimes magic happens and sometimes it doesn't.
And then there's moments both as an actor and a director where you're watching something i remember i was directing
wish i was here and there was this great scene between manny patinkin and kate hudson
and and there was supposed to be this moment where they connected and and all of a sudden
at the monitors it just i i was watching them and it just magic happened and kate had a single tear just trickling down her eye and then
instead of stopping talking she just ad-libbed this extra line and she swiped her tear away
kind of like nonchalantly like she didn't want manny patankin to see the moment and it was just
one of those moments where you're like holy shit like something special just happened that was way
better than what was in my mind.
I feel that way about a lot of things in Scrubs that we did.
Like oftentimes it was about comedy.
We were all riffing together
and there'd be some funny thing we'd all come up with.
But then, but this is one of those moments
that you're talking about where it was like,
just so much better than what we could even imagine
was on the page.
But I had to go away for the summer.
And maybe, Donald, you'll know what I'm talking about
because I heard you talking to Heather about the film you guys did.
When you go away, what happens is,
and Donald, you'll appreciate this in kind of a sports metaphor.
If you shoot 10,000 free throws, you will get better at free throws.
And if you stay in front of a lens, even when you're on hiatus, if you stay in front of a lens, you'll stop acting and start behaving.
And it's not semantics.
They're two different things.
And especially if you have a taskmaster who's creative like Jim Mangold, who's not only going to keep you in front of the lens but he's just going to keep stripping stuff down and what I mean by stripping stuff down was that
actors always want to add an eccentricity they want to they want to add a limp or a lisp or a
or a tick or or some some kind of eccentricity and Jim wanted them all out, out, out.
Rain was a character in the story.
Deal with the rain.
And I always like when actors have to deal with cold, dark, and rain because everything goes away and they just start behaving.
If it's 4 o'clock in the morning, if you're shooting nights,
the production is at it rain, it's freezing out,
and it's four in the morning
everybody stops acting and they just start saying their lines and scenes start to click
because people people want to get through the scene like the people in the scene yeah yeah
and i remember one of these times happened and and I can't remember the episode. I'm almost positive you were pulling the trigger, Zach, when Molly Shannon came on.
Yeah, Donald and I talk about that episode all the time.
It's my favorite one because it's my first time directing.
I'm standing across the room from her, and she's lovely and all that, but she's a comedian.
And I don't know what kind of chop she has.
And then she finally tells me why she's so kooky. And we find out about her
loss and what the actor, when she went in and dug out, was the stuff that dreams are made of
for the lens. And I was standing there watching her and we didn't do that many takes because she
crushed it. And she brought her off-screen
life into that that wasn't on the page that that where she went wasn't on the page i you know johnny
i definitely agree with you about working uh during your hiatus it keeps you in a rhythm
i feel like i feel like toward the end of every season season when we were making the show we would find our rhythm and we would be
all of a sudden clicking
and just like you said
it was no longer about
let me act the shit out of it
let me say to my lines I don't want to be here until fucking
you know midnight tonight
let me say my lines and let the work do its job
let the work make it happen
and I think when you go away and you do another
project and you get excited again, that same thing fuels you for when you go back to work the next year.
Now you're in a rhythm.
And so that energy that you had at the end of the season where you're, like, efficient and you're trying to make it happen, like, in one take and right away because you're, you know, you don't want to be there late and you want to be looked at as a professional.
And when you do that all summer long,
when you come back in in the beginning,
you don't have the rusties.
You don't have the,
I'm nervous about what I've been doing.
You know what I mean?
It's like you were training all summer.
Yeah.
You walk in and you're like, right.
You walk in and you're like,
look, check out my six pack.
You know what I mean?
I have a question for you guys
as both a actor and a director.
I wish as an actor, I would have had more directors push me to be better.
I feel like throughout my career, there've been a few, but mostly it's been about stand
here.
The camera's going to come here.
Do you want to go again?
Because maybe you should be a little angrier as opposed to like taking me in the corner and being like here i want to put a fucking thought
in your head and i wonder johnny because you you can be an intimidating fellow i wonder did mangled
was he able to to do that to you did he i mean oliver stone you've worked with i mean you've
worked with fincher you've worked with the legends of the world. Have these guys been able to do that to you?
Have they done that to you?
And of course, Donald, I want to know your answer too, but we'll start with Johnny.
Oliver's school of directing comes with consequences.
And so if you're doing something that's not, isn't necessarily what Oliver had in mind.
He'll yell from Video Village, which is an area away from the set
where the director and the people who are producing the film are watching it.
He'll yell from Video Village,
McGinley, walk with me.
And that just means you're're gonna go for a walk and then he tells you that you're subverting my
vision and you're fucking me really like oh god he did it in the philippines he did it
it down in on wall street he did it he does it everywhere you're fucking me you were better when
you i always read actors for him and he goes you were
better when you were reading the actors but now you're fucking me and you're like oh my god
oh my god horrifying how do you not get it how do you then not spiral johnny because i feel like
there's a fine line between taking you in the corner and being and being constructive and being
like you got this man but i want you to dig deep and do this and being like you're fucking me i can't imagine i would be so spiraling in my head
i don't know i guess it all started in the philippines and i just wasn't gonna
there was nowhere to go we were 10 000 miles from home and so i guess you got a rally i don't
fucking know and the opposite tell me this sorry sorry go ahead And the opposite of that is Catherine Bigelow on Point Break.
You know, we did that opening.
Fucking great movie, Johnny.
Great fucking movie, Johnny.
Remember when it was one of those steadicams?
They used to weigh about 80 pounds,
and all the big Aussie guys used to be the operators.
And in the beginning of that film,
there's about a five or six-minute walk and talk
where Keanu and I are doing all the expository who, what, where, when, how for the whole movie.
We're just just feeling, feeling.
I don't stop talking.
And and we did it 36 times.
I think she printed like 4, 18 and 36.
And of course, four was the one that was in the movie.
And it's just a wonder and it's just
scrubs made it look second nature because we did those but at the time when we were doing it it was
a big deal and you know all the way through the bowels of the fbi with this with this steady cam
and catherine would just come over and uh she's the single most supportive person In the history of the planet
But the bottom line was we're going again
She would never say anything to you
She would never say anything
No she's just the greatest she's like
You're crushing this you're crushing this I'm like
And I always know when we have it
I swear to god
What about you Donald like when you worked with like Boaz
Or did they give you
Did you ever get like tough direction but also that like made you dig deeper?
Yeah, you know, Boaz was very much a we're going to rehearse and we would rehearse and he wouldn't necessarily be there, but he would come and check it out.
But he would be like, you guys go rehearse, you know, rehearse amongst yourselves and stuff.
And then when we would do the scene, he be like okay yeah that's great is there anything
you want to add to it um i'm trying to think of if there were i've had directors i don't want to
say their names i've had directors be like you know uh you stumbled on that line there goes your
close-up i've had shit like that before oh fuck you that's help anybody. No, it doesn't. You have to find a way to...
I mean, my goal when I'm directing someone is
all I want is for you to be great.
How can I support that?
Part of it for me is creating an environment on the set.
You know, Scrubs is the ultimate example.
We had an environment that was so safe to experiment
and to fuck up.
And you felt so safe.
You felt the net under the tightrope, if you will.
So I, when I'm making my projects,
I try and create that environment again
where you're safe.
Like there's no wrong answer.
Let's play.
Because I think that puts actors in a good headspace.
But I'm also making things so fast.
The three films I've made, i have to go so fast that there isn't a whole lot of time to do like what oliver stone can do in the
philippines and be like johnny let's walk if my producers if i ever said to someone like natalie
let's walk everyone would look at me like what the fuck are you doing we have a half hour left
for the day that truly is a luxury, man.
It is a luxury.
That's a luxury.
I hear stories about actors and directors going on like 45-minute walks while the crew waits.
Sometimes two-hour walks while the crew waits.
And then they come back and the scene's different.
Now we're going to relight it a different way.
I've heard crazy-ass stories about how ego gets in the way of making movies and stuff like
that stories from um that movie uh what's the well i should probably shouldn't call it what
the movie is but i heard stories of a movie star showing up my friend was shooting the movie and
he said you wouldn't believe what was going on like the movie star would show up and be like
all right well we're obviously not saying any of this. So should we go talk about it?
And it's like, what?
So they would then go on like a long, like a minivan ride and like rewrite the day's work.
And that's how the day would start.
I mean, that gives me anxiety even saying it aloud.
Have you guys ever like, it's happened once in my life.
Zach, I know when it's happened with you.
Johnny, have you ever been so late in any way that you've uh caused a day well not a day but you
caused uh a morning i should say the director like not like i've been i've been so i've been
not a fucking chance we're not we're not johnny's not late ever johnny's early johnny gets there at
five in the morning and then goes back to sleep. That would never happen, right?
Never happened.
That happened to me once.
Zach, I remember when it happened to you, but it happened to me.
Well, mine was an alarm clock malfunction, but go ahead.
Bullshit.
But anyway.
I told this story on the podcast.
Did I ever tell you the Henry Winkler story?
No, please go on.
Okay.
So I was doing Clueless, the television show at the time, right? And Henry Winkler's no please go on okay so i was doing clueless the television show at the time right
and henry winkler's directing the next day it's sunday night he's directing on monday um
and i'm geeked about it but i also i'm 20 something years old and i live with a bunch
of dudes right it's me my buddies it's me and literally three other dudes living in the
house together and on sunday nights I don't know where it was.
I think freaking like Joseph's or some shit like that was going off.
You were at the club.
The club was going off, right?
And so we went out, and I didn't get home until like 4 in the morning, smashed and hammered.
And I passed out.
My call time's at 6 a.mm i'm doing clueless at the time
i wake up and it's 6 30 and i'm like oh shit henry winkler's directing so i throw on clothes
and i you know jet to work i get there i put on my costume is all in my my trailer and everything
i throw on all my shit and as i'm throwing it on i can smell my trailer and everything. I throw on all my shit. And as I'm throwing it on, I can smell my breath.
And I still smell the booze on my breath.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
This is going to be horrible.
This is going to be horrible.
So I run out of my trailer.
And I'm jetting to set.
And as I come around the corner, we were filming on the Paramount lot.
And so you have to pass through the big Paramount gates, right?
So I come running through the gate, uh,
toward the set.
And Henry Winkler sees me stands up and it looked like he said to whoever the producer was or the writer was.
He was like,
that's him.
Yeah,
that's him.
Okay.
He starts walking towards me and I'm like,
Oh God.
Oh shit.
Holy shit.
You let down the funds,
bro.
That was the first thing I'm thinking.
Now don't fuck,
forget,
forget the cast and the crew
and everything like that fucking henry winkler the legend that he is is about to fucking give
me the business and i'm gonna and i'm gonna fucking eat it right and so he comes up to me
and i take a deep breath to not breathe out so he can't smell this booze on me
right and he goes listen we're not gonna do this okay i don't want to i don't want
any shit from you okay we're not gonna we're not gonna fucking do this what we're gonna do is we're
gonna go over there we're gonna do the scene okay we're gonna go over there we're gonna do the scene
and i could tell he wanted to freaking give me the business but he was like i don't know you
i don't want to disrespect you and i i could i i'm pretty sure you don't want to try and disrespect me or anything like that, but come over here and give me your best. Right. And it was
just, it was just like when we did the dance scene on Scrubs where I, where I'm doing the dance to
Poison and I hadn't rehearsed it or anything like that. And I just went in there and I did the dance
because part of it was because I was afraid for my life that Bill was going to be like,
you know, that's it, you're fired.
So it was almost the same thing.
Like I'm dancing on a table in the scene and I jump off the table into a split, right?
In rehearsal, I do this shit because I'm so, look, the last thing I wanted was to let down,
you know, the fonts and then when i get over
there and i see stacy dash and elisa donovan and my boy sean holland and the crew and all of these
guys looking at me uh and and uh you know giving me the face like i can't believe you fucking let
down the fonts and it was like all right well i'm gonna give you guys a show and i did and
you know my point is did he ever take you aside and have a talk with you that was a talk it was like, all right, well, I'm going to give you guys a show. And I did. And, you know, my point is.
Did he ever take you aside and have a talk with you?
That was a talk.
It was a quick, it was one of those things where it was like,
I'm going to come off like the boss right now.
And the humbling thing is, is that I'm over here
and I'm talking to you about this, but you know better than this.
I shouldn't have to have this conversation with you ever.
He didn't have to say to conversation with you ever uh he didn't have to
say to me get your shit together but it was all in the i'm not having this conversation with you
you're way smarter than this you know better than this bullshit let's get over here let's do the
scene and let's make it right yeah and i freaked and then he fucking hit a jukebox
let's take a break we'll be right back after these fine words.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs,
more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin,
about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five
basic strategies to help parents raise good humans.
Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you've been following the news,
you know that from healthcare access to safe schools,
LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here,
but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover
what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your most fabulous shows. iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app.
In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s and try to understand what it
taught us about the world and a woman's place in it. Crying in public. Two 20-something college
women living in NYC dive into growing up at a time when
there was no distinction between what's public and what's private. Best of both worlds, a discussion
on work-life balance, career development, parenting, time management, productivity, and making time for
fun. Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old Richmond because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, season five, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I lied. I was late one time.
But it wasn't my fault.
I was doing... The New York actor's dream of...
I originated to play talk radio with Eric Boghossian,
who I brought onto Scrubs as my shrink.
Thunderous applause, Dan. Thunderous applause.
Thunderous applause. I'll turnous applause. Thunderous applause.
I'll turn my key for that, Dan.
And so we're down at the Public, which is right on Lafayette Street there.
And I was in it for almost two years because it was a good gig.
And so during that run, Oliver wrote Wall Street and said,
do you want to come down and do Wall Street for two and a half,
three weeks? And I said, well, yeah, of course, but I'm doing this play. And he said, I'll have
you wrapped in time and you can get up to the public and everything will be fine. And so I had
the language in my contract, but I had to be wrapped at 730. were down towards the warwick building um in southern the southern
manhattan and i had to be wrapped at 7 30 and i just a straight shot up lafayette i'd go in and
make half hour half hours you have to be at a actor's equity which is the actor stage union
dictates that you have to be at the theater a half hour before the curtain and i like to be
there i like to do a vocal warm-up stretch and all the, I like all that stuff.
And so while we were down towards the Woolworth building,
the days were going longer and longer. And, you know, Charlie and I,
we'd already spent four months in the Philippines and now we're with Oliver
doing this big thing for, I guess, Universal.
And so the days are going longer and longer.
And I have the
superstition, just like Lou Gehrig and Wally Pipp, because a couple of years earlier, I'd been
covering John Totoro and Danny DeNito Lucy. I was his understudy and the assistant stage manager.
And John was a horse. He just never, he thought it was bad luck to let your understudy go on. And so I got that from John.
And so I didn't want anybody going for me.
And so no matter, and the clock kept ticking and I started getting there at 20 of and quarter of
and the stage managers come up to me.
He goes, you can't do this.
I'm like, listen, just look, I'm going on.
So, and then later and later.
And so one time i got there at places and i sprinted up to i forgot
which theater we were in at the public but it was the new house or something and i sprinted into the
dressing room i put on my wardrobe and the stage manager's like no and i'm like call the cops
because i'm gonna kick the shit out of you unless you get out of the way.
And so I go on and Eric let me kind of write a piece with him where this character gets to, he's in three quarters the whole play.
So he's three quarter exposed to the audience in this proscenium stage.
And at about 20 minutes into the piece, he turns around in his chair, a pin spot hits him.
And then he walks down the closest you can be to the audience.
The light cue up on the board is called down in one.
I walk down in one of pin spots on me.
And I do this seven minute monologue about my relationship with Eric's
character, Barry Champlain. Oh my God,
I get a chill.
And about two minutes into it,
I went up.
Oof.
I went up.
For those of you who don't like give everyone the lingo,
that means you forgot his lines.
That's the actors say I went up.
Oliver was just yelling at us all day and Charlie and I had been out till,
I God knows how late we were up the night before.
But I stood, I stood there with a pin spot on me,
looking at, it was a pretty tiny house,
maybe 350, maybe 325.
I don't know how big it was,
but it was packed because Eric was all the rage
and the play was a massive hit
and you couldn't get in.
And I'm there and I co-wrote this motherfucking monologue
and I can't remember anything, anything. And I'm there. And I co-wrote this motherfucking monologue. And I can't remember anything.
Anything.
And I'm looking out at them.
And I was crying inside.
I don't think I cried out here.
But I looked up at the light booth.
Even though you can't see anything, you can't see in front of you because the light's so bright.
I looked up towards the light booth and I just nodded.
And I went back to my chair and they called the next light cue and Eric started again and then after the show Eric's the biggest mensch on the planet he just came up
and he goes you can't don't do that anymore don't do that I'm like okay and the next night I I I
did not go on and guess what everything was fine yeah it turns out that the understudy was he was
fine he went on and he was fine so wait johnny uh
your monologue is roughly seven minutes how deep did you get into it before you forgot your lines
two minutes yeah man that is the i i have this nightmare if you're an actor they actually call
it the actor's nightmare i have this dream where i'm supposed to go on and i don't know my lines
at all or i'm supposed to go on as an understudy for someone and I don't know my lines at all, or I'm supposed to go
on as an understudy for someone. And I don't know my lines at all. I have that dream all the time.
It's my night. I do too. And, and now I so over prepare ever since then I so over prepare
the, even if you shot me in the esophagus, I'd still be able to continue and do the lines.
I don't give two shits. I don't care. I have that nightmare,
Zaki, too. And it's just never again. And it's never happened again, ever.
You know, my first play was at the same theater, Johnny. First of all, I want to say quickly,
before I change to that, Talk Radio is an amazing film that you should all see with Johnny johnny and eric boghossian and alec
baldwin's in it right yeah and i didn't get star fucked out of the you know usually if you create
it if you it's called creating the play if you originated the play you're definitely not in the
film definitely and i i i got to do that that was and i did three in a row because that was the film
he did after wall street oh that's interesting that you were.
Wait, sorry.
That's interesting.
You were doing Wall Street with Oliver and then you're in simultaneously in the play.
And then Oliver decides to direct the movie.
So he must have seen the play because you're friends with him and he came to see you in it.
Is that how it was the genesis of it? No, I think it was so it was such a subvert, politically subversive piece about Alan Freed,
a talk show host, I think, in Denver.
And Eric had loosely based it on that,
that Oliver, that was right in his sweet spot.
And we went down to Las Colinas right outside of Dallas,
and we shot the whole thing in five, six-day weeks.
And so we're in Dallas, and we didn't come up for air for five weeks it was the best wow that's a great film i highly recommend it to everybody but i wanted to
say my very first part out of northwestern was in a production of mcbeth at the public theater
in one of the tiny uh spaces and the cast was alec baldwin ang Bassett, Michael C. Hall.
Wow. A good group of actors. Yeah, really. Who are there others? Jason Butler Harner, really amazing actors. And I was playing
the two young roles, Fleance and Young Seward. And I had to have a broad sword duel with Alec
Baldwin. Now, I had never done stage combat. I went to school. I studied acting and filmmaking, but we
never got around to, like, I never got around to taking
a stage combat course. And George C.
Wolfe, the director, very fancy director,
decides that my character
is going to fight Alec Baldwin, not only
with one broadsword, but
he thinks it'd be cool if I was an extra badass,
and now I'm going to fight Alec Baldwin with
two broadswords.
Yeah, boy! Now, I've never done Alec Baldwin with two broadswords. Hell yeah. Yeah, boy.
Now, I've never done – Alec is a scary motherfucker,
and I've never done a single bit of stage combat,
and now I'm going to do a dual broadsword stage fight with him.
We get there day one for the reading, and I was fresh out of school.
I think I'd never met a celebrity in my life before,
and Alec Baldwin sits down next to me.
And he goes, I'm Alec.
Who are you playing?
I go, oh, I'm playing Fleance.
And I'm playing Young Seward.
And he goes, oh, so I kill you twice.
And he did.
He killed me twice.
Eight shows a week.
And I got it down. But it like, but it was scary as fuck.
And I fought Alec on stage.
Was BH Barry your combat coach?
I don't recall who it was, but he taught me well.
And I was just, I never rehearsed something so much
because I mean, I could have really hurt.
I mean, they will fuck you up.
They're not sharp, obviously, but they will fuck you up.
And I was so afraid that I was going to hurt Alec Baldwin with my two broadswords.
Hell yeah.
You know what I find really funny?
How quickly you forget the dialogue from shows that you rehearsed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again,
dude. It's like within a month to two months, you couldn't go up and do that show again.
You know what I mean? You know, but you've rehearsed it like it was your life, dude.
Like it was your life.
Did you, Donald, did you ever almost forget your lines when you were doing that play you did recently?
Yeah. You know, I had one thing where it was like a bunch of math and stuff like that and the math didn't have to make sense but
it had to be quick and uh one night i did i i didn't forget the line i misspoke and i said oh
excuse me in it and then i kept going and then after i went it kind of threw the rhythm off for
the show for the whole night because I said one line.
You know what I mean?
And it really is a lesson that when you're doing a show, there's a rhythm to it all.
You know what I mean?
And if you stick to the rhythm every time, most likely you're going to get a great performance.
If you find the right formula and you stick to the rhythm every time and you stick to the formula every time it's gonna be a
good show you know what i mean yeah and just by me saying excuse me it kind of fucked up the rhythm
and cues all of a sudden were a little bit late and you know what i mean and it was my fault you
know what i mean and it was just because i said excuse me i i could always tell with with uh when when we were doing Scrubs, and especially after about 12 episodes in, from 12 episodes on,
I could always tell whether or not Billy Lawrence had done a pass on Cox, because he had written,
and I had adopted this kind of Martin Scorsese on heroin syncopation for Cox.
And I also, sometimes when I was bored,
I would start to play with the language a little bit,
which was irresponsible, but I get bored sometimes.
And if Billy hadn't done a pass,
I couldn't memorize the lines because they were written out of rhythm.
And Donald, I'm just borrowing from what you said,
but Billy would do a pass on Cox.
I'd be down in my rehearsal space,
killing myself trying to remember
these disconnected fucking rants that somebody wrote.
And then I couldn't get them.
And then Billy would do a pass
and something as much as Donald,
you even saying, excuse me,
that was out and then boom,
the flow and the rhythm. i could come in and i
can i can do it in latin but i until billy did a pass because i'd get in there and i'd have the
hissy fit and i'd say has billy done a fucking pass on this thing yet and they're like no he
hadn't seen it i'm like well don't fucking send it to me would that happen you'd get sent it and
memorize it and then it would all be changed?
You must have fucking gotten livid.
Every Monday morning.
So did you talk to Bill?
You must have talked to Bill eventually and said, dude, you gotta fuck, you can't do that to me.
Of course I did.
But Billy was spinning as many plates as he, you know, one character among an ensemble of badass seven or eight of you and you know you you try to get
billy's attention and you can't can't always do it i would go so not i mean for those of you who
don't memorize for a living it's easier for some than others but these chunks that johnny had to
memorize in a short span of time is is really hard because he has to say them so fast as he did so
well but the idea of spending a weekend memorizing that and then getting to work
and there's a rewrite.
That's it.
Yeah.
Dude,
that's why you must have loved it.
Even saying that I get a knot in my stomach.
That's why you must have loved it when he had no,
when he had no choice but to go with what was written because we didn't have
scripts.
And so he'd be like,
yo,
look,
here's,
here's what we're going to say right now. And he would write it while we were doing rehearsals and shit and then he
would hand it to you and you'd be like bet no problem because he wrote it it was in cox's
rhythm right it was in that whatever that syncopation billy came up with it was in that
and i could groove into it but memorization memorization is like a muscle johnny i think
and no question and you really had yours developed well i think you know when i've when i've just And I could groove into it. But memorization is like a muscle, Johnny, I think.
No question.
And you really had yours developed well.
I think, you know, when I've just finished a play, like I did Romeo and Romeo and Juliet when I was fresh out of school and another one of my early roles. And I mean, basically, the second you start talking, you don't stop talking for two and a half hours.
And I even think thinking about it now, I get anxious this many years later.
This was probably to, this was probably 1998.
But by the time the play was over, that muscle was so developed, I could crush it.
And I feel like as Cox, you had to do it so on the regular that you really just – you must have had it so dialed.
Like now that might be harder for you because you're not memorizing monologues every week.
100%. 100%. dialed like now now that might be harder for you because you're not memorizing monologues every week 100 100 i was doing uh when i was doing um uh bullets over broadway um we were in previews and um when you're in previews that for those of you who aren't don't know that that means that the
critics haven't come yet you're still working out the play you're still the the writer and the
director they're changing things all the time and then after opening night then then the show is
locked so we're in previews and and woody allen who wrote the plays in the back of the director, they're changing things all the time. And then after opening night, then the show is locked.
So we're in previews
and Woody Allen,
who wrote the play,
is in the back of the audience
and he's there
and when a joke doesn't work,
he would come the next day
and give us a new joke
to try that night.
But sometimes that was really hard
because you had the whole play memorized
and he would just hand you
a slip of paper
and he'd be like,
here, just try this tonight.
And you're like,
try it, where?
And you're like reading the paper
and like scribble the handwriting, like try this tonight. And you're like, try it? Where? And you're reading the paper and scribble the handwriting.
Try this. Where does it go?
And then you'd
figure it out. And then sometimes in the
heat of the adrenaline of doing a show in front
of 1,500 people,
you'd forget.
And there was one time I skipped
the new joke you wanted me to do.
And I saw him the next day and I said,
Woody, I'm really sorry. I got a little frazzled and I didn't even try the new joke you wanted me to do. And I saw him the next day and I said, Woody, I'm really sorry.
I got a little frazzled and I didn't even try
the new joke you wanted me to try.
He goes, yeah, you probably get a bigger laugh
if you actually say it on stage.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you.
or Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five
basic strategies to help parents raise good humans.
Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. growing up at a time when there was no distinction between what's public and what's private. Best of both worlds, a discussion on work-life balance, career development, parenting, time management,
productivity, and making time for fun. Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or
wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare
access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans
youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me
on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old rich man
because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5,
The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Johnny, will you tell that story that I love that you told me once about Platoon, where you said you were all hanging by the pool when you realized that you weren't going to be in the movie? So because the conditions in the Philippines were so tense and so fluid and we were in something called a triple, they were fluid because there had just
been a revolution. A guy named Ferdinand Marcos had lost an election to a woman named Cori Aquino.
And Marcos wouldn't leave until President Reagan, the president at the time, gave him political
asylum in Hawaii. So that's why we were postponed. I left, I was doing hamlet with kevin klein at the public and about a week into
rehearsal oliver calls after the i'd been cast in the film a year and a half earlier and then the
money went away and he called me he goes mckinley do you want to play the fourth lead i'm like who
the is this it's oliver stone you want to go to the Philippines? And I'm like, I would love to go to the Philippines,
but I'm playing third guy on the left in Hamlet
with Kevin Kline over at the Public.
And he goes, tell Joe Papp that it's me.
I'm like, oh, sure.
I'm going to go talk to Mr. Papp and call him Joe.
It was like the Wizard of Fucking Oz.
And so Rosemary Tischler, who was the casting person
over at the Public at the time, and a friend of mine from NYU, she came in and taught an audition class to us.
And she's one of the great, great women ever.
And I called Rosemary.
I went to see her.
And I said, I got offered this movie.
It's in the Philippines.
And it would mean me leaving rehearsal.
And just like anybody in New York, it'd be like crossing Johnny Friendly
and on the waterfront.
If she said, if you go do this film,
you'll never work here again,
I would not have gone and done the film.
Neither would anybody in New York
because once you get in that fraternity slash sorority
over the Shakespeare Festival,
you stay, you keep doing plays.
And Rosemary said, well, you're fine with me,
but you're gonna have to go see Joe.
And I'm like, everybody stop calling him Joe.
And so I go in and he was, you know,
he had a burner and he was this guy,
he always, the way the back was fucking smoked.
And so, you know, I'm knocking,
like I'm going to see the wizard and the wizard of Oz.
And he goes, come in, Matt, come in.
And so I go to see Mr. Pat. And I told
him my story. And he goes, go, we'll do Hamlet again when you get back. I'm just like, I'm
crying, even thinking about this. I'm so happy they didn't prevent you from going. That would
have been horrible. And so I go back, I was living in the funeral parlor at the time,
one, the new journey funeral parlor. And so I go up five stories and I'm there.
And a week or so after I removed myself from Hamlet,
there's a fucking revolution in the Philippines
because this guy Marcos won't leave.
And so we get postponed for months and months and months.
And the play opens and, you know,
Vincent Canby calls it the most important Hamlet on these shores.
I'm sitting in the funeral parlor going like oh my god i hate my life i hate my life and finally we we get the green light to go because the revolution had subsided a little bit but but
not that much and so uh and in the meantime this language had come out a bunch of actors in new
york about five or six of
them circulated this language because we were going to go through this two and a half three
week boot camp that if you got hurt in boot camp you'd get to do the film and Oliver's like no if
you get hurt in boot camp you you get rotated out you can't be a soldier with a broken arm. And so I didn't sign it. And the five people who did didn't go to the Philippines.
And so I finally get there and only come to find out that it's a very tricky place.
We're shooting in this triple canopy jungle, which meant there was vegetation at 10 feet,
another vegetation at 20 feet, and these monstrous trees at 50 feet.
So it was very dark and swampy underneath these three canopies of flora.
And we're shooting, and there was no shot list because Oliver had to change things every day and on the fly, which he did brilliantly.
But the whole, there was three squads of eight, so there was 24 of us.
And every day, everybody was called to the set.
And sometimes you just sat there all day because you're not in the scene, you're not in the scene.
And so it was about a two-hour bus ride out to the place, and then you'd sit, and you weren't in the scene, and then it was two hours back.
And so this happened for a couple of weeks.
weeks. And so Forrest Whitaker and Johnny Depp and I asked Albert that if we weren't in going to be shooting that day, could we stay at the hotel? And he acquiesced. And so we're finally sitting
by the pool and we got what we wanted. And Forrest, I don't do a good Forrest imitation,
but Forrest comes over to Johnny and he goes, you ever get the feeling that while we're here, we're not in the
movie. We all started going back to the set every day. And Oliver would put us, Oliver would put us
on this mountain about a mile out of the frame. And we, and you weren't even a spec and you'd be
back there. And we started calling it Power Background.
And so guys were doing their best Brando a mile up a mountain.
And we called it Power Background.
I just love that you guys were like,
all right, fuck this.
We're not going to sit in the jungle.
We're going to go sit by the pool.
And then it's like you, Forrest Whitaker,
and Johnny Depp sitting there on your lounge chairs with a cocktail.
And then all of a sudden, someone has the realization, you know, he's probably just improvising this movie.
And we're sitting here at the pool.
He was.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Forrest said, I wish I could do a Forrest imitation.
But he was like, if we're here, we ain't in the movies.
And he was right as rain.
And what a fucking amazing movie, dude.
I think it's one of the greatest movies ever made.
But I want to circle back to something that Donald said earlier, that when you said you can just trust the work,
and when you stay in rhythm, when you can let the work happen.
work and if when you stay in rhythm when when you can let the work happen for for me that was a big aha when i was with uh jim mangled for the for that hiatus it was that i was watching all these
i was watching ray leota and johnny and all the and johnny hawks and all these great actors and
and i could see when jim was directing them sometimes you can see a director work better
when you're watching him direct somebody else. And I was impacted by just how clean and without affectations Jim wanted the style of this piece.
And I was like, that's what I'm doing. I'm going there.
But in order to do that, you have to acquiesce.
You have to you have to like you were saying, you have to trust it a little bit.
And that's hard. But if you're in rhythm and and you can keep and i the verb to capitulate kept coming up for me
and in my in my dopey uh composition books and and to capitulate is hard sometimes because
somebody calls action and and and the trap just want to drive the scene and move the narrative forward.
And like that scene with Zachy where at the end of 209, when Cox and him have that scene, it just sits.
And the lens absolutely soaks it up because no one's trying to drive anything.
You know, there's so much power in being able to just put a camera. Absolutely soaks it up because no one's trying to drive anything.
You know, there's so much power in being able to just put a camera.
It's interesting.
We're talking about going back and forth between theater and film because when you're in a play, you have to give a performance to the person in the front row and you have to give a performance to the person in the back row.
Right. And there's a dance in being able to do that.
And there's a dance in being able to do that.
When you're in a film and the camera can be as tight on our faces as it is in that scene,
an actor has to let go in order to do nothing.
Do you know what I mean?
Like there's so much power in just trusting the words and trusting the camera to capture you doing.
I would say if I was directing that scene,
Johnny,
that we both love,
I would say we both did almost nothing.
We were just.
That's hard.
That's very hard.
It's counterintuitive,
but that's hard.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree because we all want to go.
We all want to go do something and have a moment.
And sometimes there's so much more power in,
in,
in doing nothing.
But the style of the piece was to go do something and
it was for donald to just all of a sudden riff off a dance that was fresh and beautiful and it
was for you to look off the thing and have a fantasy and then in the fantasy you're you're
you're juggling you know stuff you're juggling your father and and and the the impetus of the
piece was to drive it everyone
was always judy was just driving stuff sarah was driving stuff and then all of a sudden to go
that's hard yeah that's agile you got to be yeah you got to be in rhythm sorry i keep stealing that
from you donald but you do it but it's in rhythm it's true because that's the safe place. You know what I mean?
The rhythm of it all is the safe place.
Comedy is funny when the rhythm's right.
It's not necessarily funny if your timing is off, right?
So the safe place to find everything in comedy is within the pace of the show, right?
the pace of the show.
Right?
So that was one thing that would always,
I always noticed that the show always got better towards the end of the season.
Like we would come in hot and be so excited
and there would be so much stuff
that we're doing in the beginning.
Because the writers were excited too.
Right.
And the writers wanted to flex.
We would show all these new tricks and all of these,
yeah, I'm going to show
you what i got but by the end of the season that's when all of a sudden we're doing really good
episodes we should probably go to break well we didn't do any breaks because this conversation
was so darn interesting dan will have to put in fake breaks i had a realization we're going to
call this episode if it's right with you donald a conversation with johnny c mcginley i like that
and then we'll redo redo in the next episode,
we'll go do this episode
because this was so interesting.
I don't think we need to try and do anything else.
I like that.
I like that a lot.
I'm sorry I read, I watched the wrong one.
No, it's a miscommunication.
But dude, I have a feeling
everything we just talked about,
listening to you tell old stories
is more interesting than anything
Donald and I were going to say about this this episode other than the fact that it's
completely unrealistic that jd would not be able to get stimulated for gift shop girl that is
impossibly it's not a believable thing that's possibly false i wouldn't when that when that
shit happened i was like this is a television listen I don't want to minimize erectile dysfunction or losing one's libido from stress.
I know that's a fact and it exists.
But one thing that is not a fact is that JD would not be able to get an erection for Gift Shop Girl.
Sarah Lancaster, who played Gift Shop Girl, did a fabulous job, by the way.
Not only is Sarah Lancaster very funny, but she's darn pretty.
And I had a lot of trouble with the scenes where J.D. is unable to kiss her.
I got to tell you.
I got to tell you.
And I think Jerry Lewis always did this for himself as well when he was directing all his movies.
J.D. and the women that he hangs out with.
Yeah, unrealistic.
They're beautiful.
Only on TV, Johnny.
Johnny, look who's talking.
Johnny, look who's talking.
I know.
You were just making out with Heather Locklear and Crystal Lawrence.
The first two seasons of the show, all you're doing is making out with hot chicks i know your two your two
love interests are so far oh actually and and what's her name that girl that woman who was
wonderful kylie kelly kylie williams who was absolutely beautiful no was that the one who was
um on the practice what was her yes i Yes. That was sort of her name?
Joelle, will you double check?
We've spoken about her.
She was really good and really pretty.
She was great.
Yeah.
We always say J.D. did way better than is realistic.
I mean, we have Amy Smart coming up soon as a love interest.
Oh, my God.
That's right.
She was so – I'm sure she is so beautiful.
Tasty coma wife.
Tasty coma wife.
Tasty coma wife. Tasty coma wife.
We talked about gift shop girl for like the rest of the rest of – She's a knockout.
She's a knockout.
By the way, we're going to do this episode in a separate podcast,
but we have to say one of my favorite lines is she goes,
is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just having a good time?
And I pull out a roll of quarters.
I go, no, it's a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just having a good time? And he goes, and I pull out a roll of quarters. I go, no, it's,
it's roll of quarters. It's actually laundry day.
Okay. I just said, all right, there was one line.
There was one line that made me laugh and I'm just going to throw this out there and then we can move on because we have our guest here.
But Todd goes, when you're walking down the hall and Todd goes, Hey,
how's your penis?
It made me go all the way back to that one episode where Turk, where you think Turk is having a problem getting it up.
And Todd goes, oh, so when I saw you this morning and I said, how's your penis?
Right.
And you didn't want to talk about it.
I want to tell you a little trivia.
In that moment,
when Todd says to me,
how's your penis?
On the day he Bangkok'd me.
Oh, I remember him doing that to you.
Yeah.
For those of you who don't know who Bangkok is.
Oh, you guys did it to each other
every once in a while.
Yeah, there was two of them.
Wait, we have to tell the audience who might not know what Bangkok is. Oh, you guys did it to each other every once in a while. Yeah, there was two of them. Wait, we have to tell the audience who might not know what Bangkok is.
It's a juvenile game that men will sometimes play with each other
where they hit each other's balls and then run away.
It starts off like this.
What's the capital of Thailand?
That's right.
Bangkok.
Yes.
And then your penis gets hit and you crumble over and the person runs away.
Or here's another one.
Here's another one.
This was back when Mitch Kupchak was the GM of the Lakers.
Who's the GM of the Lakers?
Mitch Kupchak.
And you punch him in the dick.
Kupchak.
I wouldn't have been able to answer that anyway.
But if you look on YouTube, I think it would be the season two gag reel or blooper reel.
I think they put that on there. It was on camera. look on youtube i think it's the c it would be the season two gag reel or blooper reel i think
they put that on there because on camera he hit my hit my balls and ran away and then i remember
seeing that on the blooper reel it was so painful he really got me good he bangcocked me well
all right we have a caller wait why don't we why don't we go to break just to give dan one real
break okay and we'll be right back with johnny c mcginley hi i'm martha stewart and we'll be right back with Jody C. McGinley. And more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans.
Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner.
Gene!
Eugene Fodor!
Gene, we'll boot it!
Much of the joy you will find on the road
comes from the person you share it with.
So you write the books, Gene, and have a lot of stuff on the business.
I understand now.
If he's a wise man, marry a wiser woman.
But be careful and choose your travel partner well,
because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas.
Get down!
I'm not stupid, Gene.
Something is going on in his high time.
You tell me the truth.
Freeze, Americano!
Gene, run!
So travel before it's too late.
Your money will return, your time won't,
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Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app,
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iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app. app, Apple Podcasts,, and making time for fun.
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I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately $11 million.
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the con season five the
athlete whisperer on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
all right we're back we have a guest michael kratzley
hey guys hi michael welcome to welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen thunderous applause We have a guest, Michael Kratzli. Hey, guys. Hi, Michael.
Welcome to the show.
Ladies and gentlemen, thunderous applause for Michael Kratzli.
You're giving a lot of thunderous applause out lately.
You're not going to turn the key?
I'm not going to turn my key for that one, Dan.
Turn your key, sir.
No, no.
Turn your key, sir.
Turn your key, sir.
Turn your key, sir. All right., sir. Turn your keys, sir.
All right.
Michael better be good.
I'm going to turn my key.
All right.
Thunderous.
There you go.
Thunderous block.
All right, Michael, welcome.
You have a special Johnny C. McGinley episode.
So do you have a question for any of the three of us?
Well, I definitely have a question that can kind of be for all of you guys.
Sure.
So I'm a huge Scrubs fan.
It's one of the reasons I'm actually a doctor.
I went into medicine because of Scrubs.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Thank you.
What kind of medicine do you practice, Michael?
I'm a family medicine practitioner.
I actually just finished residency like a month ago,
and then I just took my board exam like a week ago.
So I'm a full-fledged doctor at this point.
Congratulations, man. That's incredible. And I just a full-fledged doctor at this. Congratulations.
Congratulations, man.
That's incredible.
And I just want to say on behalf of all of you. Thunders applause, Dan.
I'm going to turn my key.
I'm going to turn my key.
But you're really abusing this, Donald.
It's supposed to be used sparingly.
That is deservant.
Okay.
Is that even the right word?
Deservant is not a word, but you know what?
It is.
Joel nodded and said it was.
Deservant?
Deserve with an A-N-T is not a word.
Ask the newly
licensed doctor.
He doesn't know he's a doctor.
He's not a fucking word observer.
They didn't cover deservant on the
fucking lamb cats. It's Latin.
It's Latin, alright?
Dan,
for using deservant,
thunderous booze, please
Thunderous booze
Turn your key, sir
I'm not turning my key
You're going to have to blow my brains out
No way
Dan, mix this, boo
Alright, alright, alright
Michael, what's your question?
So, in my life
Things that happen in medicine or just in my General daily life kind of remind me of episodes or certain scenes or jokes or even fantasies from Scrubs.
And they make me like almost laugh out loud at inappropriate times.
Are there any things from the show, whether they're jokes or fantasies or scenes that like you experience them in real life that kind of bring back memories and make you
on the verge of laughing oh i i got one go ahead johnny billy did an episode
where i'll get this wrong but where when when somebody makes this sound
that it's it's usually not appropriate because when go see a doctor, all you want the doctor to do is shrug and go,
yeah, you know what, let the intern do it because it's no big deal.
But when a doctor goes like this.
And so now when I go to the hardware store,
and I'll ask for a hose-to-hose elbow coupling joint for some garden hose thing.
And I see the salesman go like this.
I'm like, don't fucking do that.
Don't do that.
This is not fucking leukemia.
This is not fucking cancer.
This is a hose-to-hose elbow coupling joint.
What the fuck are you doing this for?
Don't fucking do that.
Is he making the noise because he's not sure he has it?
Yeah.
It's things like, well, I don't know
if we have that in stock.
I can call Amazon and have it in 48 hours
for free, you fucking dumbass.
If your doctor
does it, it usually means, oh, shit.
You don't want your doctor doing that.
And Big Billy wrote a whole, like, B or C story about that one episode.
And whenever I see a waiter, I'll ask for crushed red peppers on the side,
and they'll go, I'm like, don't fucking do that.
There's a jug of McCormick's crushed red peppers this big back in the kitchen.
Would you like me to go show you where it is?
Don't fucking go. Don't do that.
Don't do that.
That's
pretty good. Donald, do you have anything like that?
I don't, man. I don't know if I can top that story
anyway. I don't think I can top that, dude.
Alright, we're going to go with Johnny's answer
on that. Michael, do you got another one for us?
So, my brother's a huge
fan as well, and he would be very angry at me, my brother, Ben,
if I didn't ask a question that he was trying to convince me to use as my question.
When he found out I was going to be on it.
So he said he wanted to know specifically for you, Zach,
My Way Home is his favorite episode.
And he wanted to know how much different is it to direct people that you like actually know compared to
directing in a different situation um that's a great question um i was blessed that this cast
was totally um supportive and embraced me to direct them i I think that, you know, it's always a tricky situation,
I imagine, on a show when someone finally goes,
hey, I'd like to direct us all.
I mean, we're all equals, we're all a team.
And I imagine in sports playing,
even though I don't know that world,
it would be like if someone on the team was like,
I'm now going to coach.
You'd be like, fuck you, Stan. You're the forward middle or know that world. It would be like if someone on the team was like, I'm now going to coach. He'd be like,
fuck you,
Stan.
You're the forward middle or whatever that is.
Is that a position forward middle?
Yeah, sure.
I'm sure in some,
there's a forward middle.
I don't know.
Maybe in high lie.
Oh,
exactly.
And like quibble or something like that.
And quibble.
You did that on purpose.
Quidditch.
Yeah. All right. Let me use the sports analogy further no um you know it is it's tricky but but it all but the cast if you're
fucked if your cast and your friends are like oh god you don't know what you're doing and i'm not
just saying this because these two guys are here they universally could not be more couldn't have
been more supportive they were
rooting me on they were they were it's so hard to do it in five days and donald because he was
be on his best behavior he would like be there right away for other directors he would know my
lines he would be like dude there was maybe only one episode where i didn't know my lines and i
realized i was like look i can't do my boy like this ever again. Yeah, yeah.
From here on out, no matter what, I'm going to have my shit together, especially when
he's, pretty much only when he's directing.
Who's recording?
Oh, we ain't going out this week.
Who's shooting the show?
Well, I'm not going out this week.
I'm going to take my time and learn my lines for ZB.
I would text Donald and be like, bro, I love you.
You have a monologue tomorrow. No, I would.
I'd be like, I'd be like, you know, I'd be planning the week, you know, because on Sunday night, you're like so nervous. It's, you know, directing is a hard period, but directing a
single camera TV show in five days is like so advanced. It's double black diamond. It's like,
you got to do it and do it fast. And I remember being a Sunday night being like, oh shit. Okay.
I got to warn Donald that he needs to learn that monologue.
So I would call him or text him and be like, dude, big monologue for you on Wednesday.
You want to start working on it now?
And I'd be like, can you please come to set right away?
Like, none of this fucking bullshit you're playing, fucking whatever video game you're playing in your room and taking 20 minutes to come to set.
Because remember?
No, yeah.
And he would.
And this is what he would come right away
and but it was awesome because johnny you know you know you you guys the audience can tell from
the conversation we just had we both donald and i look up to him so much as an actor and he's the
kind of person that i could go up to him and be like john that was awesome but do you want to try
i had this idea do you want to try one where it's a little more like this? And, you know, that's going to go two ways.
A guy with a huge ego and who's an asshole is going to be like,
no,
that's good.
Move on.
Or Johnny,
the polar opposite is like,
Oh my God,
that's fucking awesome.
Let's try it.
Hell yeah.
And that was the attitude everybody had when I directed the show.
It was awesome.
They were so supportive.
And,
uh,
and,
and I was,
I was so lucky.
I was so lucky.
And especially since Donald was the one especially since Donald I directed like 7 episodes
it was like the only time Donald ever knew his lines
alright Michael thank you so much for coming on
and thank you for becoming a doctor
I want you to know that every life you save
we're going to take credit for
I am okay with that.
You're welcome.
Please be safe, Michael.
Please be safe.
Yeah, take care of yourself, man.
And don't make that noise that Johnny C doesn't like when you have to give somebody bad news, okay?
I'll reserve it for very, very bad news.
Yes.
Okay.
And don't say, you know, when my doctor checks my prostate, when he pulls his finger out, he says, was that as good for you as it was for me?
And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that.
Dude, you know you could sue your doctor, right?
No, I have a doctor who prides himself on being outrageous.
And if you're not down for that, you just shouldn't go to this doctor.
I see.
Because I would be a little upset if my doctors imagine your doctor was like no never
mind there's a doctor uh never mind listen i'm not we're good okay michael's not gonna be that
kind of doctor michael be safe and uh and thank you so much for coming on the show all right thanks
all right thanks man thank you brother bye bye. Wow. Wow. What a show.
I think this actually turned out to be a much better episode than it could have been because we had we had we had we this is going to be called I want to be labeled Joelle a chat with Johnny C.
McGinley noted.
I think it's nice when we show the audience the seams a little bit, if you will, that, hey, we fuck up.
And you know what? In fuck-ups come beautiful things sometimes,
like this episode.
Well, yeah, you know, it's not always that you get to hear
the adventures of John C. McGinley.
By the way, I would listen to a podcast that was just called
Johnny C. McGinley Tells Anecdotes From His Career.
Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you.
I didn't know that you had done that many shows at the public, man.
I didn't know that you were a big Shakespearean actor in your younger years.
Have you ever thought about going back and doing stuff like that now?
Well, Zachy came to see me.
Thank you, Donald.
In Glengarry, we did a revival a couple years ago with Al Pacino and Bobby Connolly and Richard Schiff and David Harbour.
Amazing. It was the single most exciting thing I've ever done. with Al Pacino and Bobby Convalli and Richard Schiff and David Harbour.
And it was the single most exciting thing I've ever done, by far.
And I think that when you guys would – I'll pivot off of that for a second. What you just said about mistakes spawning nuggets, it makes me go back to that if there is such a thing, and I know
Donald and Zach, you'll know what I'm talking about. When you're in acting shape and you're
just nimble and you're agile cerebrally and your instincts, your acting instincts, and you can't
fake this stuff. You're either in acting shape or you're not.
And the only way to be in acting shape is to just continue to spend time in front of the lens.
That's the or continue to do performances of a play.
And when mistakes happen, when you're in acting shape, when you're just so agile, it spawns nuggets.
it it spawns nuggets and one time what makes me think of it was i decided before we went over to the philippines that uh sergeant o'neill which is the name of the character i got to play and then
tom beringer's uh character uh barnes uh that i was just going to do everything i could like a
like a pilot fish on a shark i was going to do everything i could to to help to have him
facilitate me that character getting the fuck out of southeast asia and so whatever it took and it
wasn't on the page but i decided whatever it took and so i i told oliver this he's like yeah do that
mckinley do it be a pilot fish i love that and so we're at this one night where we're assigning a night operation.
And Tony Todd's over there, and Willem's here, and Mark Moses is here,
and Tom Berenger's next to me.
And I got this Zippo, because Tom's character smoked a lot.
And I always was going to do this no look Magic Johnson light of his cigarette and then act like it was no big fucking deal.
I was just going to throw a no look.
And I saw out of my periphery Tom was pulling a cigarette out.
And I did a no look light and I snapped that zippo back and I put it back in my thing.
And I could see everyone in the whole scene stopped.
And they were looking at me like I was the biggest dick on the planet.
And I carefully got nervous telling the story.
I carefully looked over at Tom and I missed the light.
And I took the thing right the fuck back out and I lit that cigarette
and the scene continued.
And that's what's in the movie.
Because there's no acting.
There's me horrified. And willem looking at me like i'm
such a dick and tony todd looking at me like i'm an ass i love that i'll ever put that in the movie
that's fucking dope dude because that's but that's who that character was in that movie too
yeah but it's also my point is that i'll go third person that the actor playing Sergeant O'Neill didn't all of a sudden call
cut or walk out of the scene.
He's fixed it.
And then
a great director like that's going to go
that's fucking real. I'm putting that in the movie.
And it's
maybe a thousandth of a
second. But if and
when you ever watch it again, you'll see it.
It's a fuck up and
oliver kept it in and it's genius it probably gets big laughs in the movie too when it happens
it's probably yeah because i'm it's it exposes just what a pilot fish this guy is yeah yeah
this has been awesome i want to remind the audience that the play johnny's talking about
is a movie that is one of my favorite films and
if you haven't seen glenn gary glenn ross uh i think it's a master class in acting
and uh we always recommend films to you on this podcast but uh you should start with glenn gary
glenn ross right very different than the play though the film is very casual and it kind of
unfolds on a rainy night and the the play
david wrote the whole thing as a one act he told me but then he found out one acts can't win tony's
he split it up in the uh two acts but the first act is about 32 minutes and you're out having a
cigarette outside the schoenfeld and then the second act obviously the real obviously the real
estate gets office gets robbed and that's the second act but the real obviously the real estate gets office gets robbed
and that's the second act but the first act is all of 32 minutes it's an incredible piece
incredible piece i want to tell you on 44th street i want to tell you my my only david
mamet experience actually there's been two i'm going to tell you both of them first time first
the movie's one of my favorite films and i'd never seen the play performed. Now I did know the trivia that Alec Baldwin has a legendary monologue in the
movie that,
that is fucking incredible,
but it's not in the play.
So I see David Mamet backstage somewhere and I'm so nervous and I go,
Oh my God,
what am I going to say to David Mamet?
I'm having a Donald phase on when we talk Johnny often on the podcast about
how Donald gets nervous around celebrities and always embarrasses himself. So I i can't help it johnny i can't help him what am i
gonna say to david mamet i don't know what to say to david mamet and uh and i and i think oh okay i
got an idea got an idea and um i walk up to him this is this is long before your the revival you
did it was a different revival that was coming it was coming up uh this is how long ago it was
and i said um
mr mamet i i just wanted to know um in the revival you're doing are you gonna are you gonna put the
the monologue that you added for for alec baldwin into the play and he looked at me like i just
shit in his fucking coffee like such distaste and he's like like, why would I do that?
That's from the movie. I'm not going to put that in my play.
And I was like, Oh yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. I agree.
Good choice on that. Mr. Mamet. I'm going to go away now.
Do you want to know, you want to know, you want to know another layer to that story yeah yeah
i asked uh i didn't ask him david told me that before they greenlit the movie whoever produced
it uh whichever studio it was said uh we need we need a special effect we need something to
happen and you need a car crash we need something in the first act open it up as they say
the special effect was alex monologue yeah that's how explosive that's how great alec was and the
writing was in that because in the play he's an unseen offstage threat but we never see him
or hear him but i mean he's referenced constantly, in my opinion, a very underrated actor.
I agree. I was about to say,
listen, I agree
that I don't know that he's under...
He's underrated, dude.
I think he's one of the best...
I think he's one of the best actors out there.
I'm just saying that he's famous.
He's famous and he gets a lot of shit
for his tabloid adventures
and his politics,
whatever,
but fucking the guy's a really good actor.
And that monologue is one of the fucking greatest moments ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No question.
Coffee's for closers.
Holy shit.
And then my second,
my girlfriend and I were,
were,
were staying in a hotel in London and,
and he came in,
he was doing a play in London recently.
For God, Malkovich was the star of it, I believe.
Oh, right.
And we were alone.
It was late night and we were alone
in this little bar lobby area.
There was like, it was like,
they have this thing in England that works there,
but would never work here called an honor bar.
So it's just an area of a hotel
where you just take whatever
and you write down on the pad what you're taking.
I don't think that would work in – at least it wouldn't work in L.A.
It would not work at Joseph's.
You're right.
I don't think it would work anywhere.
Can you imagine?
But anyway, in London, you write down like I had one vodka soda and then they charge it to your room.
So we're sitting there.
My girlfriend and I are alone in the honor bar.
And in walks David Mamet.
And it's just the three of us.
And I go.
And in my head I'm going, oh, my God, don't fuck up this time.
Don't fuck up this time.
Don't mention Glenn Garrigan Ross.
Don't be an asshole and mention Glenn Garrigan Ross.
The guy just wants to get a drink and go to his room.
Well, I had had a few and uh and i say mr mannett oh my god i'm so glad to see you my name is zach uh this is
florence would you want to join us and he goes okay okay sure sure you know i could tell he was
stressed he'd had a night of probably rehearsals or previews or whatever.
He makes himself a drink.
He sits down.
There's like a long pause, and I go, I just have to tell you.
I'm Glenn Gary Glenn Ross, and I start going off on this Glenn Gary.
Yeah, I'm Dean Donald.
I go off on this long Glenn Gary Glenn Ross spiel about how amazing it is and da-da-da-da-da-da-da, and he just kind of nods his head.
He goes, okay, well, I'm going to head to bed.
It was nice talking to you guys.
And he left. And he left he just left those are those moments those are one of those moments
where you wish you could talk about sports zach you know i know the guy didn't want to talk about
glenn gary the guy can't leave his fucking room without talking about glenn gary and was he thinking
he wants that he came in to have one drink and i if you could have been like you know are you a
bears fan yeah i could have said do you play
middle forward do you like chelsea or united yeah i could say i could say is deservant a word
you're a good writer sir is deservant a word he wasn't deservant of the attention you know what
i agree with you donald i I agree with you. That genius writer
was not deservant
of my affection.
All right.
We should end this fucking show
because the audience
is deservant of a break.
Thank you for listening, everybody.
This was so fun.
We're going to call it
a conversation
with Johnny C. McGinley
and we will be back
next week to... Or we will be back, I don't know when it is, next time to sum up the episode.
And we will talk about Gift Shop Girl at length.
Gift Shop Girl does a lip bite, by the way, made famous first by Alicia Silverstone in Clueless.
And I'm a fan of the lip bite, I must say.
But more on that next time. What, Donald? Do you have a comment of the lip bite, I must say. But more on that next time.
What, Donald?
Do you have a comment on the lip bite?
I was just going to say, I was a huge fan of you being alone in a tub with Rowdy.
One of my favorite GIFs.
It's my favorite GIF of myself.
And then that turning into you alone in the tub with GIF shop girl and Rowdy. No better way to express my often inner monologue in life, in my true, real inner monologue in life, than me alone, sadly, washing a dead dog.
Donald, will you count us in to our beautiful theme song, please?
Thank you, everybody, for listening.
I want to play, there's no way.
Okay.
Okay, that's a great idea.
Do you want to take a chance at talking up into it?
Because I've been the one who's been lucky enough to do that thus far.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the President of the United States of America, Donald Trump, singing his summer bop, There's No Way I could get down off that ramp.
I said there's no way, there's no way
I could make it down that ramp
Without falling on my ass
There's no way, there's no way
General, I may grab you so fast
I don't want that
And this was a steel ramp
Really, really steep
No hand, girl
It was like an ice skating rink
I said, there's no way
There's no way
I can make it down that ramp
Without falling on my ass
Inch by inch
I took these little steps
When I was ten feet short
I ran down the ramp I ran I did me little touch when I was 10 feet short.
I ran down the ramp.
I ran.
Down the ramp.
I looked her in the eyes and I ran.
Down the ramp.
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I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own
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Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career.
I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer,
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Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with
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conversation based on that melody and those chord changes. So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, okay, talk about this.
Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.