Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 219: My Kingdom
Episode Date: September 15, 2020On this week's episode, JD steps all over Turk as he tries to appear cool for the surgeons. In the real world, Zach and Donald return after a week long hiatus . Learn more about your ad-choices at ht...tps://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
Scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes.
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
It's just unbelievable.
Hide your money in your old rich man,
because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, season five,
The Athlete Whisperer on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks
tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up
in political battleground states.
We will always exist,
and we will definitely not let them take away our joy,
no matter how hard they try.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
Hi, girl.
Girl, let me tell you, I miss you, man.
I miss you, girl.
This is how much I missed you.
I'm in Oxford, UK,
and I knew that you were swimming in my pool in Los Angeles
when it was 115 degrees.
And I went on the app on my phone with the security cameras
and watched you swim.
Oh, my God.
That's a little scary.
That's a little non-trustworthy.
That's a little like,
it sounded cute at first,
but then it turned into, in my mind,
I wonder if this motherfucker's taking my shit
while I'm out of town.
No, I didn't think you were robbing me.
I was watching you play with your kids, and it was so adorable.
And I was just like, and Florence comes in.
She's like, please tell me you're not watching your friends play in your pool on your phone.
And I'm like, I am.
I might be.
Adorable.
That's how much I miss you.
I missed you.
Well, I missed you so much that I went to your house and pretended I was hanging out with you in your pool.
You went to my house because it was fucking hot as balls,
and the L.A. County broke the record for heat wave, huh?
Dude, okay, listen.
You can say what you want to say, but it is orange here.
It is literally orange outside.
When you look out of your window, it is orange.
Because of the fires?
Because of the fires.
In San Francisco, it's worse.
In the Oakland Golden State state area that shit looks
like freaking blade runner 2 literally with ryan gossing when they go to freaking vegas dude it's
it is freaking nuts yo and i've been seeing pictures and then here it's got like an orange
tint everything is orange and you can feel it in your fucking throat you feel the the smoke in the
air and in your throat, dude.
And for people that are scared of coronavirus, that was the first thing.
Like, everybody in the house all of a sudden got a tickle in their throat at the same time.
And we're all like, holy shit, do we have corona?
Yeah.
What a flow.
What a flow.
You know what she brought me?
A Moscow mule.
Nice.
Wow.
She brought you an Adeo Shun. She bought you an Adeo Shun.
She bought you an Adeo Shun.
I'm not positive our Moscow Mule
is going to be called Adeo Shun.
I think we need to change that name to Adeo Shun, dude.
I'm telling you right now.
We need to change the universal language of Moscow Mule
needs to be the Adeo Shun now.
I'm just worried that unless you're
let's say you're not an avid listener of the podcast
but you've heard that Zach and Donald put out a Moscow mule canned
beverage.
You'd be like,
Oh,
what's that one that those guys made?
You're not going to be,
you're not going to have fucking know what an idea.
Shun is.
I bet you they do.
I bet you.
Really?
I bet you.
Anyway,
I do love me.
I love me a Moscow mule.
I got to say,
you love you some.
I do.
Shun.
Hey everybody.
I'm sorry.
This is Zach Braff
and I fucked up my recorder
so that's why my sound
sounded shitty for the beginning of this podcast
but can you notice the change now?
Because I'm wise enough to know
that I fucked up my recorder
but now my sound is perfect.
Okay, but not only did I miss you,
I miss Danil and I miss Joelle.
Danil, you look like your hair is growing out fast.
It is growing out a lot.
You could possibly grow.
And Joelle, you look as magnificent as ever right now.
Thank you.
Hi, Danil.
As always.
How are you?
Hi.
Don't we have a reporter joining us today?
We should tell the audience what's happening.
Sure, yeah.
Donald.
We're being interviewed by E! Entertainment.
They're this big news channel in the States of America.
The podcast has become so huge that reporters are clamoring to get into the room with us
and say, hey, guys, what is the key to why this thing is so popular?
And so we have a nice reporter from E! who's going to sit in on the show.
Should we let her in, Dan?
Let's do it.
Let her in.
Is she here?
What's her name?
It says Lauren Peister.
Lauren.
Ladies and gentlemen, little did she know, but welcome to the show,
Lauren Peister from E!
Hi, Lauren.
How are you guys doing?
Welcome to the show.
You know, my producer, Joelle, had told me that you were just going to hang out and listen.
And I said, no, no, Joelle.
That's not how Donald and I roll.
She's coming in the room.
We're going to talk to her.
She's going to be you're going to be a part of the conversation, Lauren.
Amazing.
Yeah.
We were talking about California.
Are you in California right now?
I am in California.
Smells like smoke.
It looks like freaking straight up.
It looks like Blade Runner outside, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looks weird.
Orange.
Not as bad as San Francisco pictures, but weird.
San Francisco looks scary, man.
Looks terrifying.
Lauren, this is what we do.
Donald sits in his closet drinking
something this is apple juice yeah sure uh donald donald justifies um to his wife uh day drinking
when he does the podcast um i'm in uh oxford which makes me sound smart um and i'm allowed
to drink because it's 7 10 here no No, but Danil's in New York.
Danil's in New York.
Joelle's in LA.
And we do this all over the world, this podcast.
We bring it to the people.
Isn't it fine for everyone to drink if one person can drink?
Yeah, that was the energy I was going on.
Yeah.
Joelle, do you disagree?
Joelle, do you disagree?
No, no, I like these rules.
These are very helpful rules
If one person is drinking everybody is allowed to drink
That's just how it works
I'll be back in the United States of America
When we do our next show
Isn't that right Joelle?
Yes absolutely
So this is our last
Intercontinental show dude
Yes bro
We're going to all be back on the same time slot.
What's that, Lauren?
Are you sure you want to come back to the United States?
Well, you know, Lauren, I don't know if you're supposed to be commenting this early.
Have you heard some things?
Have you heard some things?
Are we missing out on some things, Lauren, from E! News?
No.
Just seeing the news. The general state of chaos. heard some things are we missing out on some things lauren from e-news no just you know just
seeing the news being a general state of chaos yeah the general state of the general state
are you talking about the fact that the president hid knowing that the coronavirus was a dangerous
uh uh yeah little virus floating around. He ran down the ramp.
He ran.
That is the equivalent of that shit, right?
Isn't that the equivalent of it?
When somebody, when like in the movies,
when the guy gets caught out there,
like in one of my favorite movies,
which we'll talk about on the podcast today,
Can't Buy Me Love,
with Ronald Miller, where he pays Cindy Mancini to make him popular
and everything, and then when he gets found out,
he kind of just runs away from everyone.
You know what I mean?
I feel like that's what this dude did when he found out that freaking,
that this virus was, he just made it so that everybody wasn't scared of it
and kind of just ran away from the problem instead of dealing with it straight on.
That's just me personally.
It didn't even work.
Everybody was scared of it anyway.
Not everybody.
A lot of people caught that shit because they didn't, they would believe in what he was saying.
I guess.
You know, all these motherfuckers that were like hydroxychloroquine and fucking all of this stuff.
It's going to save my life because the president doesn't think this is that serious.
All of you now know that he knew and was lying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But as Lauren knows from following the podcast on, we tend to stay away from politics on
this.
That's not politics.
This is fucking real life, dude.
This is my life.
Fuck this.
This virus isn't political.
Let's not make this virus political by saying because the president
hid that shit that it's a political issue now fuck that shit that's fucked up he's wrong for that he
was wrong for that i didn't want to cause panic fuck you dude if that's the case denounce freaking
uh white supremacy and let's talk about uh let's talk about uh george floyd and let's talk about
systemic racism if you don't want to cause panic talk about that shit instead of stoking nose fires and
causing fights across America, man.
Don't come at me with this bullshit about we're not supposed to be political because
this isn't a political statement.
This is real talk right now, dude.
We got somebody in office who's fucking up and is fucking up majorly.
Sorry, Lauren.
I don't mean to curse in front of E.
I don't think Lauren wants us to change the show, Donald.
I feel like just as much as you normally do.
I feel like that's, I feel like,
I feel like the viewers of E might be a little upset that I'm using such
colorful words, but fuck that shit, dude.
This dude's an asshole for this man.
The real talk is partly why you guys have kind of like been like a
defining feature of my quarantine.
Cause I've listened to every episode.
I listened to every episode twice a week. So, and I love when you guys just like come out with it and you're
like you know it's not a political thing it's like people are dying and but we still have to like
have a good time somehow i guess i think what we um what we strive to do here is um for the most
part obviously since you listen to the show you know that we don't always succeed but we we strive to do here is, for the most part, obviously, since you listen to the show, you know that we don't always succeed.
But we strive to have this be 60 to 90 minutes of taking people's minds off the horror show.
Because that's what a lot of people have responded that they really like about what we're doing.
Obviously, we're talking about the show we were on and we're telling funny anecdotes.
But we're really just trying to just say, hey, we're four friends that are hanging out and shooting the shit and hopefully not talking
about so many topics that are so upsetting and maybe just take your mind off it for a second.
But of course it overflows and it's upsetting and we can't help but be ourselves and real at times.
Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the coronavirus you remember when that was just the problem do
you remember when that was it and it seemed like the world was fucking coming to an end
look at where we are now man come on y'all make america great again my ass man come on now come
on now come on now let's get that green new deal popping yeah let's uh let's segue a bit and um
and why don't why don't we um we haven't seen each other we've been off for a week
and uh i thought it was very funny um when we donald and i announced it on on twitter and
instagram that we're gonna take the week off just because we needed it and people most people wrote
you you guys are deservant yeah i feel like deservant is a real word though
I feel like now it's become a real word
I feel like I might be blessed
When the Urban Dictionary is like
Yo, deservant's now a word, dude
I just love that people were like
You guys are so deservant
It made me laugh and smile
And we were deservant
Because we've been doing this without a break
Since whatever the date was That LA was shut down smile and uh and uh and we were deserving because we've been doing this without a break um since
whatever the date was that la was shut down because donald and i were about to start and
go into studio no we did take a break we took a break when the whole uh george floyd thing went
down oh of course i'm saying but we we took a break at the at the height of uh at the beginning
of the george floyd mayhem but we haven't taken a break just for our own just kind of exhale.
And I got to say I like it because it makes me miss you all,
miss you guys, and it makes me, I don't know,
it feels refreshing to be like,
I feel like we have so much to talk about and catch up on.
And I don't know, it's a nice feeling.
It's nice to have absence make my heart grow fonder.
That is exactly what has happened.
I thought about you, each and every one of you.
Not you, Lauren.
Sorry, we just met.
But I thought about the rest of you guys a lot, actually.
Amen.
I want to know how to go with your girlfriend's parents.
Did they like you?
They are.
Oh, Dan.
Dan, yeah.
Go ahead, Dan.
They're great.
They're wonderful.
But did they like you? I think they liked me, yeah. I think great. They're wonderful. But did they like you?
I think they liked me, yeah.
I think so.
What's not to like?
He's so charming.
You're very sweet.
Joelle, how was your break?
What did you do?
Oh, man, I slept, and it was amazing.
Yeah, I had to let everyone know that I needed some time to myself,
trying to do the self-care game.
let everyone know that I needed some time to myself trying to do the self-care
game.
I slept and I cooked with my brother
and it was amazing.
I highly recommend it.
What did you cook?
Bulgogi beef bowls.
Which was fun.
Fucking Korean barbecue.
Justin's an amazing
cook so he goes all out and I'm just kind of
sitting in the kitchen stirring things.
Important part of the process.
That is delicious.
That sounds delicious.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
You know, Donald, you never counted us in.
We usually count in, but we got distracted by the excitement of Lauren being here and just catching up.
and just catching up.
Do you want to welcome all the listeners from all over the world back
with just a beautiful number count
into our magnificent theme song?
Ah!
Five, six, seven, eight.
There's some stories about a show we made
About a bunch of docs and nurses
And a janitor who loved me hate i said he's got stories
that we all should know so gather round to hear our gather round to hear our
hey what an episode a lot of good things in this episode a lot of good things in this episode, I've got to say. A lot of great things in this episode.
Yeah.
Holy cow.
Every once in a while, we stumble across one that has four or five different moments that
we really remembered.
Like the pimp walk is in this.
The pimp strut.
The original one of two pimp struts is in this episode.
The late, great Sam Lloyd has a lot of funny stuff in this episode.
He has some amazing things in this episode.
But we're going to get to America and the rest of the world's favorite part.
Wait, hold up.
Let me get my notes.
Okay.
He's got to go run and get his notes.
I'm going to keep it 100 with you guys.
So the air conditioning went out in my house.
No.
It's been out for the past two weeks now.
No.
Yeah.
So during the heat wave, we went and bought-
How did you live with the heat wave?
Oh, you're about to say.
We went and bought a bunch of fans and stuff like that and have been fanning the shit out
of each other in this house.
These are the reasons you have friends with pools, y'all.
Yeah.
The one mistake that we as a family made-
I took a screenshot.
Do you want to see you playing?
Yeah, I would love to. Yes. Yes uh lauren you weren't on the phone yet uh donald went swimming at my house and i i missed
him so much that i i went on the security camera thing on my on my phone and i i i took a screenshot
of him and his family playing and my girlfriend walked in while i was doing it and she's like
please tell me you're not watching your friends on the security camera play.
And I was like,
no,
I'm not.
It's going to be hard to see,
but that's,
that's adorable.
She's like,
she's like,
tell me you're not zooming in on Donald right now.
I am.
Look how much fun he's having.
That's so cute.
It was a blast. It was a great labor. Was was labor day weekend that we just went through yeah labor day weekend uh i got i literally
i literally watched you like throwing your kids and having fun and i and then i and then i felt
really like creepy and and then my girlfriend made fun of me and so i got off and stopped watching
did you celebrate labor day in london Did you guys celebrate Labor Day in quarantine?
They don't have that here.
They don't have that particular holiday.
Did you, as an American in London, celebrate Labor Day, bro?
Well, I did.
I chose not to work.
And I thought, oh, I'm celebrating Labor Day here by not working.
I don't work.
What are we doing?
We make this podcast.
I'm writing this screenplay that I'm hoping to make.
And you have a really dope movie coming out.
That movie looks amazing.
We should talk about that.
Let's talk about that.
Let's get into it.
You, Robert De Niro, and Morgan Freeman,
Emile Hirsch.
And Tommy Lee Jones.
Tommy Lee Jones, Emile Hirsch.
Also, Eddie. Eddie Griffin. Eddie Griffin. How did I forget the brother's name? Emile Hirsch Tommy Lee Jones Tommy Lee Jones Emile Hirsch also Eddie
Eddie Griffin
Eddie Griffin
how did I forget
the brother's name
Eddie Griffin
this is a dynamite cast
brother
it's a really big movie
for me you guys
and you know
the trailer is really funny
if you didn't see it
please go
you can see it on YouTube
it's called
The Comeback Trail
it's coming out
November 13th
it's you know
if you're a fan of mine you know that a lot of the stuff
I've done, I've at least been some part of writing, directing, or producing. And then,
of course, the TV show that we're all talking about. But for me, I never really had a ton of
opportunities to do a film like this, where it's literally me and De Niro, our partners.
And it takes place in the 70sies and the premise is really funny.
It's about this,
this producer De Niro plays this like really sketchy movie producer.
Who's never had a hit.
The mob is after him because they,
he owes them money.
And he,
this,
he figures out that if he kills his star,
um,
while doing stunts and making the movie that the insurance check you could
get would be way more than any money he could ever make off of the movie.
So he comes up with this scheme
that he's going to hire some old, washed-up actor
and make sure he dies doing his own stunts.
And that's Tommy Lee Jones.
So he finds Tommy Lee Jones,
who's literally playing Russian roulette
in an old age home, and he's like,
you're perfect for the part.
And he sets about, we said, I'm clueless. I'm like the innocent partner who doesn't know he's like you're perfect for the part and he sets about we said i'm clueless i'm
like the innocent partner who doesn't know he's doing this and uh and he said deniro sets about
trying to make sure that while we're making this movie tommy lee jones dies of course that's not
that's not hey let's not give it all away now i'm not gonna give it away i didn't give away
anything more than it's in the trailer okay but um it's just a huge opportunity for me and i'm
watching the trailer and i just can't believe it.
I'm just smiling ear to ear because I made the movie a year ago.
But watching myself go toe to toe with De Niro is surreal and really cool.
Well, that's the one thing the trailer doesn't show.
The trailer doesn't show how much of it is just you and De Niro this whole movie.
I was really into all of this because being your best friend, I get to know certain things.
But as much as this is a movie with Robert De Niro, it is a movie with Zach Braff.
So Zach Braff fans out there will lose their mind at the genius that is he next to Bobby D.
And I made it rhyme on purpose.
You're welcome.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
As Daniel says, you honor me. Thank you. No, it is a purpose. You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. As Daniel says,
you honor me.
Thank you.
No,
it is a,
it is a really big deal for me.
Um,
and,
and so if you're,
if you're listening to this and you didn't see me posted about it,
please go check out the trailer.
It's called,
uh,
the comeback trail and it's coming out.
Um,
I think,
I mean,
they say November 13th,
of course,
anyone with a movie coming out is going,
uh,
I think it's coming out.
I mean,
I don't know.
I don't know.
Who knows what the hell is going to happen by November 13th?
Well, a lot of movies came out recently.
Yeah.
I guess there's places of the country and certainly here in London.
I know Tenet came out and people are going to the theater.
Did Mulan come out in theaters over there?
I don't know.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, theaters are open here.
So they have very limited seating and they have all sorts of rules, understandably. yeah, the theaters are open here. So they have very limited seating
and they have all sorts of rules, understandably.
But there are movie theaters open here.
Okay, let's get into the show.
Let's get into the show.
Great episode directed by Michael Spiller.
And I don't remember a lot of this one.
I remember the highlights, of course.
I remember the pimp walk
because I think it's one of the funniest shots
in Scrubs history.
I mean, first of all,
you have been talking that you thought
you were overweight in this
era of the show, but you look fit as hell.
Dude, this is the...
You got some nice titties.
You got some perky titties.
This is how Hollywood gets you, dude.
This is how Hollywood gets you.
Fucking...
Listen, before quarantine, I felt like, oh man, I'm so out of shape.
I'm a heavy dude right now.
I look back before quarantine.
I wish I looked like that right now.
Because of quarantine, I'd gained 20 pounds.
And so to add that onto where I was before,
I wish I still looked like I did before freaking COVID.
I was felt.
I was fit.
As they say in London, I was fit Donald.
I was doing my thing.
You know what I mean? And now, you know.
Are you uncomfortable with how your body is right now?
Absolutely.
I'm so happy that I don't have to go anywhere to show anyone.
But that's.
But if a paparazzo took a picture of you at the beach, would you feel like a beached whale?
Wow.
First of all.
No, I'm asking.
I'm asking you if you feel self-conscious about your body image. First of all. No, I'm asking. I'm asking you if you feel self-conscious about your body image.
First of all, let's keep it 100.
If paparazzi is taking pictures of me again, I don't give a fuck what I look like, dude.
Congratulations, Faison.
You're back on the motherfucking map.
Paparazzi, take pictures of my Hershey's Kisses and my big ass belly.
It doesn't matter to me.
I just know I'm doing something right.
Especially during
COVID. If you feel like I'm the celebrity
that you need to chase down during
COVID times, when you could be getting
Ariana Grande or
one of the Kardashians in a mask,
if you feel like chasing me
down is worth it,
I'm yours!
I think they're going to be outside your house.
I think you and I once went to Hawaii
and we got followed and all these pictures
were taken of us and I felt
two things. I felt annoyed
because it just makes you self-conscious
in your head that you're being photographed
without knowing. And then I really didn't
like how I looked. I thought I looked doughy and
fat.
And I just wondered if that was on your mind,
because you've been sharing with our audience that you're not happy with how you're looking.
That's all I'm saying. I'm not happy with how I'm treating myself in these times. They say you go
two different ways. Some people get really healthy during this time. And then some people
are like, well, since I'm in let's let's be comfortable and i
chose the comfortable path and you know i just had my checkup and by the way it went great i am
healthy i am you know i got good cholesterol i got did you get the prostate check i dude i've
already gotten a colonoscopy no but did you get the get the finger in deep in your poop hole? Not this time.
No, I didn't.
You're missing out.
You can request it even if you've had it where you can say like, hey, man, I'm here.
Like, give it to me.
I know.
I know.
I'm aware of this.
This time I wouldn't.
I opted not to.
No, but why did you skip?
At your age, at our age, you're supposed to once a year get your prostate checked.
Right, Daniel?
No, because they take a blood sample of all of that stuff, too.
No, he's got to go in there with his finger, and he touches the whole stuff.
That's not necessarily so anymore from what I understand.
But you could be right, and I might have missed out on getting my prostate checked.
Well, double check.
We just lost Chadwick Boseman.
Oh, my goodness.
I've already had a colonoscopy in the last couple
of years and they say i don't need to get another one for five years that's your colon i'm talking
about your prostate they need to put the fingers deep and touch it why are you so why are you so
shocked because i don't want to say just because lauren's here lauren i know i know why my prostate
needs to be checked i'm sitting here wondering why didn't i get my prostate checked this year
well you got to have everything checked above a certain age i don't know when men are technically
once you turn i say if you're an african-american male once you turn 40 you should go and start
getting checked out often and as much as you possibly can especially if you have insurance
because a lot of this stuff is covered by insurance i think you should get it done as
soon as possible.
I don't know what age.
Daniel, do you know what age you're technically supposed to start getting the prostate check?
Because I think we're joking about it because he does go inside your butthole.
But it is something that people shy away from but need to make sure they have done because a doctor has.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the earliest age for prostate.
Cancer.org says age 50 for men who are at average risk of prostate cancer
expected.
Nope, sorry, that's the wrong fact.
Hold on.
That's bullshit.
I'm telling you as your fake doctor, man.
It's well before that.
I would start at 40 if you're a man.
That's their fake doctor.
That's two fake doctors giving you a recommendation.
We're going to protect your prostate.
Let them go in.
Let them touch it. Donald likes it. My guy, to protect your prostate. Let them go in.
Let them touch it.
Donald likes it.
My guy, I happen to have a guy who makes jokes.
He'll say things like, was that as good for you as it was for me?
Your doctor probably won't do that.
Who's your guy?
Who's your guy?
I'm not going to say his name on the air. We'll bleep it out.
We'll bleep it out.
His name is.
And he's sort of a doctor that kind of makes jokes and lightens the mood a bit, which I kind of like.
Sometimes it's too much, but for the most part, I like that he has little witty quips.
Anyway, should we talk about the episode, Donald, for the love of God?
Yeah, get your timer out. Here we go.
All right, ready? Now, Lauren, as you know from being our number one appreciator of this podcast,
you know, from being our number one appreciator of this podcast that Donald, we had a little detour when Donald said that he was going to, he was, he had been trolled successfully and he was going to
not do his, his sort of interpretation. And what he got out of the episode, he was going to do a
straight summary. Bill Lawrence was here. Thankfully helped me shut it down. Everyone,
lots of people on my social media, Donald, said go back to the old way.
So here we go. Are you ready, Donald? I hope so. Here we go. And go. JD gets to be a surgeon for a week, making him one of the cool kids. Turk gets to mentor his best friend and what it means to be
cool. Elliot accidentally tells Nurse Flowers she loves him. She thinks it's no big deal until he
starts abusing their new relationship status. And Dr. Cox plays a prank on Kelso that goes so well, it opens the
chief of medicine's eyes to how everyone in the hospital feels about him. How he's affected
surprises not only Cox, but Kelso too. Sometimes we take on challenges for pleasure, whether it
be for ourselves or others. But when you get down to it,
it's what it is, a challenge. And if not handled properly, it can turn into real problems.
Good intentions still have consequences, but no good deed goes unpunished.
Okay. Now, very well said, and you're a good writer. the game is that you do it in 30 seconds impossible
this time impossible this time impossible that was i had to make up for last week i had to make
up for last week and well two weeks ago i should say i had to make up for and i felt like i owed
it to all of y'all out there to do that and so i did well. Well, I think it was well said, you know, for me, this episode was a,
was a lot.
I kept coming back to something every human being deals with.
I imagine.
And that is people being obsessed with other people think about you.
And,
and,
and that's sort of the one of them for me,
the main theme of this episode,
it's funny.
I was watching it going.
Sometimes I think about,
Oh,
what's Donald going to say in his summary?
Well,
like what is the grand motif of this episode episode and for me it really was everyone is concerned about what
everyone else thinks about them that's a that's a theme with scrubs though like pretty much every
episode we deal with the insecurities of how we're perceived on this on on this show uh jd deals with
it all the time.
Elliot, that's like the focus of her character.
Same thing with Judy.
Judy deals with wanting to be liked by everyone.
Carla's character.
Same thing with Cox.
We know now that Cox is this broken man.
It really does, this is the theme,
at least so far of this season,
that nobody's put together, but we're in charge of saving so many people's lives yeah you know that's that's real talk you know that's something
that we as a nation deal with you know well is it a nation or is it a human condition thing because
i think that we all have these busy brains and even if you're a super confident person even if
you're fucking you know the most
successful confident person in the world i'm sure you battle these the self-doubt and worrying about
how you're how you're perceived i mean i i i you know and there's so many times where you someone
a friend of yours or someone will say like how they were perceiving in a moment and it's completely
different than when you thought and i think that plants down in our minds.
We go, wait, am I, you know, cause the way,
what we're thinking in our brains can't always be perfectly accurate as to
what, how everyone else is perceiving us.
And that, and that sort of makes us, I'm sorry,
I'm saying it universally makes me feel insecure sometimes where I'm like,
I don't know that I'm, I'm coming across.
I don't know that I'm understood.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know if like,
I'm always coming across like,
in my brain, I think I am.
I mean, I'm sure you've had that experience, Donald,
where someone's like,
their perception of what just happened
was so 180 degrees from yours
that you start to doubt like,
am I judging environments correctly?
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, no, absolutely.
The acting game is a perfect example of that. You know, you put in your best performance and then there's somebody out there, you're very proud of it, and then there's somebody out there who says, you know, what you did wasn't good.
You dug deep and you thought you found something, but then there's going to be a bunch of people who don't see it the way you see it.
And, you know, that's just how it is.
And that's what makes, if anything, that's what makes people that work in hospitals human.
We put all of this pressure on our frontline workers. We put all this pressure on people who work in hospitals and stuff like that to fix everything and to make sure they get it right.
But at the end of the day, they're human just like we are, and they're going to make mistakes,
and they do things that aren't necessarily for us but sometimes are for them, whether it be good or bad.
And it's important that we as humans realize that when we put all of this pressure on someone that they're dealing with
shit just like we are and so you know right but i don't even think it needs to be the heightened
i don't even think i i just think that it's just a universal like human condition thing it's not
even at the obviously we're talking about a hospital show here one thing i do love about
these characters is that they're at least open to getting feedback.
You know what I mean?
Like, they're at least open to, you know, I was just, when I was watching the show,
everyone, at least at the end, has kind of, I mean, I know it's a TV show.
They have to learn a lesson.
But I was just liking the idea of people being open to getting feedback.
You know what I mean?
Like, Sari gets a lot of feedback from Rick Schroeder's character.
Kelso gets feedback from Johnny C
quite aggressively in this.
I get plenty of feedback from Turk in this episode.
I just like that, you know,
in so many situations in our lives,
we have people in our lives who,
no matter how passionately and calmly
you give them feedback,
they just don't hear it. They don't listen.
They don't import it into who they are.
Whereas, at least in this show, it's kind of, you feel like, oh, these people are going to evolve because their friends are giving them powerful feedback that they need to hear.
Right.
But when you get feedback from other people, you don't want to hear that shit.
You know what I mean?
Sometimes I do.
Sometimes I do.
No doubt.
Dude, you and I have had like arguments and heart to hearts where
yeah but i like to think i like to think i like to think but but still i'd like to think you said
something that i'll that i'll go okay let me and of course my family my friends my my loved ones
i feel like there's plenty of times where i'll go okay let me that might be a tough pill to swallow
but let me sit with it okay let me let me see how i can make change i mean you do that yeah i i i agree a hundred percent but to hear it from a
random person uh doesn't that or someone who is an adversary isn't necessarily something that
you know when when heard is something that you know you want to receive it's just that's just
how it is of course it has to be and it has to be, and it has to be told in a gentle way at times.
So at 1.14, first of all,
I never worn anything on this TV show
other than blue scrubs.
Yeah.
30 seconds, 36 seconds in,
there I am in green scrubs alongside you.
I'm going to tell you something real quick,
but I wanted to wear the long johns
underneath the scrubs, the long sleeves.
And they told me right away, they were like, no, that's reserved for Zach.
Zach is going to be the only one that does that.
I had that in my contract.
No, you didn't, dude.
No, you didn't.
You think I had any fucking contract negotiations?
I was a fucking waiter at a French Vietnamese restaurant.
Not at this point.
I wasn't like, the long sleeves are only for me or I won't do the part.
But I remember being like, I want to wear some long sleeves.
And they were like, no, we've decided that JD and-
Yeah, but that was a Carrie Bennett thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our brilliant costume.
We need to have Carrie Bennett on this show, by the way.
That's a great idea.
She has-
I want you fans to know, by the way, that we've got a lot of requests for Judy and Sarah to come back.
We tried with both of them.
They're both sort of busy right now.
But we will be getting them back.
So be rest assured.
I also want to circle back real quickly since we want to be responsible since we brought up prostate cancer.
And Joelle has found the ages.
It says 40 to have a prostate exam if you have a family history.
45 if you're African-American, 50 if you have no family history and are not African-American.
But I'm going to tell you that I started getting them at 40, and I recommend that.
I started at 40 also.
With that, we're going to go to break.
We'll be right back.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
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The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else,
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Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app,
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I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
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Be sure to tune in to Season 2 of the Martha Stewart Podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This second season of El Flow is here, available como a ti te guste, in both English and Spanish.
This season, we dive deeper into the vibrant world of reggaeton, featuring interviews with both reggaeton legends
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He's the undisputed king of reggaeton, no doubt.
And he's been cited as an inspiration
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Explore the evolution of this dynamic genre
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Listen to El Flow as part of
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And we're back!
Did you notice at 3.52, the nurse pulls off the tail that's been taped to my, uh, to my butt that someone has,
has, has pranked me with. And then she pats my bottom. It's never discussed. It's never
nothing. It has nothing to do with the show at all. But the nurse gives me a little pat on the
rear. I think it's, I, I honestly believe it's a way to say that, uh, these guys are all
tight at this hospital.
I mean, I just thought, I just don't know.
I don't even know how it came about.
Like, I don't even,
JD doesn't even like turn around and be like,
Jennifer.
No, he accepts the, right.
He accepts the fact that he gets tapped on the ass.
That was by Lynn, actually.
Oh, it was Lynn.
Yeah.
Yeah, one of our regulars.
Yeah, Lynn gave me a nice,
a nice firm pat on the bottom.
Now let's talk about,
Sarah says, I love you, too.
She's talking about the CD because she's organizing her CD collection.
And then Rick Schroeder's character hears it as an I love you statement.
That's always weird, huh, in a relationship, the moment when you're going to say I love you.
I mean, these guys haven't been dating that long.
The idea that love would come into it is pretty early.
It sucks when it slips out and you didn't mean it.
You know what I mean?
And sometimes that happens.
Does that happen to you?
How long in your relationship with Casey
did you say you said I love you?
She said it first.
Oh, nice.
It was over Astro Burger
because we would go to Astro Burger
after the club every night.
Oh, was she nervous?
She was fucking wasted.
Like she was like shit I love you
As she devoured a burger
Does the first
I love you count
Ladies and gentlemen
If you're shit faced when you say it
I don't know
I think it counts
I feel like once it's said
You can't put the genie back in the bottle
It's out there
Although if the person does I used to have a rule in college I feel like once it's said, you can't put the genie back in the bottle. Nope. Like, it's out there. Like, how can it not? It's been said.
Although, if the person does, I used to have a rule in college that if I couldn't remember it, it didn't happen.
Dude, I once said it.
I once said it after sex, and I had just started dating the girl.
Oh, God.
Word.
It was because, well, I was going through, I was divorcing, and I was, you know, out as a single man for the first time.
And the first time you had sex, you had an orgasm and you're like, I love you.
And, and yeah.
And, and after I said it, after I said it, I was like, oh, no, wait.
I, I, I, I, I love this.
I love this. I love this.
What we just did was amazing.
And I love the fact that I'm doing that now.
Not necessarily that I love it.
What did she say?
What did she say?
She was like, oh.
Oh, no.
Well, this is really fast.
Oh, this is so soon.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Before we go down this, and then I jumped in.
It was the sex.
It was the sex.
I was blinded by the light.
Blinded by the light.
What does he say next?
What comes after that?
I know the real lyric is...
Oh, fuck.
I always...
Obviously, everyone thinks it's wrapped up like a douche,
but what is it, Diane?
Revved up like a douche, another runner in the night.
Wrapped up like a douche?
What the fuck does that mean?
Revved up like a douche.
Revved.
Revved up like a douche.
What does that mean?
It's like a two-cylinder engine.
Revved up like a douche.
I thought you said like a runner.
I thought you said wrapped up like a douche.
No, no, no.
Like a twosie. Like a twosie. Like you wrapped up like a twosie. Wrapped up like a twos. No, no, no. Like a twosie.
Wrapped up like a twosie that you caught in the middle of the night
and you had to wrap that shit up like, oh, shit, I didn't get to the toilet in time.
So wait, you thought the interpretation of the song was you shit your bed
and had to run with the twosie in the toilet?
What a romantic lyric for a song.
I knew that's not what it was.
I always thought it was wrapped up like a douche.
That's disgusting, dude. No, I don't even know if you can wrap up a douche is but anyway that's we have a
we have e here i'm sorry lauren for fuck's sake no enough that's enough um donald what did you
think about boing flip this is a this is a fan favorite people love it it when Ted develops this idea that he's rubber and you're glue.
Boing flip! I love boing flip.
Boing flip has
stuck with me throughout life. There's
a few things in Scrubs history that have stuck
with me. Boing flip is one of them.
Sews your face is another one.
Yes. I use sews your face
like I use boing flip. Now there's
a palm pilot moment here where
all the nerdy medical students are all sitting around. Daniel, you've tried me as. Now there's a palm pilot moment here where all the nerdy medical students
are all sitting around.
Daniel, you've tried me as someone
who probably had a palm pilot.
Ah, you caught me.
I never was.
It was kind of like the first
smart phony type thing, right?
I didn't have one.
Yeah, and I certainly didn't need it
back then either.
But yeah, I have one.
But you can have your calendar on it, and it would go online, right?
Oh, yeah.
I had my calendar on it.
It said, go to school, come home from school.
Very real important stuff.
Here's the question now, though.
Now that iPhone and Galaxy, I guess, are the two major smartphone distributors. Yeah.
Are you going to get the Galaxy now that it does the Xbox on the Galaxy screen?
Oh.
I don't know what this is.
What are you talking about?
So Xbox now has made it so that you can play Xbox
on your smartphone.
Yeah, it's like remote play kind of stuff.
Right.
And all you have to do is connect your phone to the Xbox controller, and now you're in your Xbox.
Right.
Oh.
Right.
That's cool.
You can play on the bus.
But wouldn't that drain the hell out of your battery?
Who gives a shit if you can play for an hour?
Well, I gotta use that thing to get everywhere if I'm on public transit.
I gotta use that phone for get everywhere If I'm on public transit
All anybody uses their phones for nowadays
Is to look at fucking
Instagram, TikTok
Nobody does freaking emails anymore
The college can write their papers
On their phones
Donald and Joelle are watching the WAP video
Over and over again
Great video
Great video This is another thing that I mean, yes, but.
Great video.
This is another thing that I could go off on for an hour,
but there are definitely some things about Android that I really like,
but as long as I still have this MacBook Pro and this iPhone,
I'll probably stay in the Apple family.
I got to tell you the reason I'm so loyal to iPhone is that I feel when I send someone a text and it goes green, that our friendship will forever be limited.
We will never.
I agree.
I don't know if anyone else feels this.
When it goes green, I go, I don't.
And this is so shitty to say, but I don't think that our friendship can ever go to the next level if you're not a blue receiver.
As someone who has an Android, it's true because now you're left out of the same emoji categories.
You can't get – getting into a group chat of iPhone users with an Android is literally nightmarish.
I hate that.
We spent days trying to figure it out, and finally we're like, just go back to the Twitter group chat.
It's not possible.
Because I don't want to pay to talk to you.
I don't want to pay to talk to you.
And it's free if you have an iPhone.
But the minute that Android...
You don't have unlimited texting?
You have unlimited texting.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You still got to pay for data, though, don't you?
You don't have unlimited data?
Yeah, Donald.
I mean, I have unlimited data.
Daniel's going to help you get set up.
You need a better plan.
No, but my point is, you know when you send a group...
You know when you send a group text out...
When you're not at home, that shit does not count.
Listen, listen, you know, when you're in a group text and and you send it to like 10 people and there's one fucker that makes it all go green.
And you're like, who's the asshole who made this whole group chat go green?
And I feel bad about that.
You, Joelle.
Only for now.
I'm going to get the new iPhone when it comes out.
But it's supposed to come out this month and they haven't announced a date yet. for now. I'm going to get the new iPhone when it comes out, but it's supposed to come out this month,
and they haven't announced a date yet.
I know.
I'm like eagerly, I want to get rid of this phone so bad.
Oh, I can't wait.
It's going to be a great day.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, Open your free iHeart app and search the bright side. politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.
The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else,
like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines.
Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast.
This season will be even more revealing and more personal,
with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events,
more Martha, and more questions from you.
I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my
skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a
billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies to help parents raise
good humans. Florence Fabricant, about the authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Truck stop brothels run by a web of ex-cons.
A Commonwealth attorney wasted on whiskey and power.
Protection exchanged for cash and flesh.
This is Hooker Game, criminals and libertines in the South.
And I am your host, Dr. Lindsay Byron.
Three years ago, I came across a goldmine of news clippings
detailing a scandal that rocked my small southern hometown.
As I flipped through each page,
this forgotten story came back to life.
I was told that it was just supposed to be a massage parlor.
The big shot in there was Barker.
He beats me
continuously. If you
print anything that you hear
in that grand jury, you will be
put in jail. I never gave
any massages.
Listen to Hooker Gay, Criminals and Libertines
in the South on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Let's talk about Donald at 822 in his ballet outfit.
Donald, what were those moves you were doing, bro?
That was definitely something that I picked up from, like,
modern dance class when I was a kid or some shit like that.
And not only that, your fade that you had on, that wig, is hilarious.
Dude, listen, like most actors, a lot of people will be like, I never did that.
But as a youth, I've taken so many dance classes.
Even if it was like one or two, as a kid, I've taken tap.
I've taken modern.
I've taken ballet.
I've taken all of these dance classes to try and better my resume when casting directors look at your skills and stuff like that.
If you've taken a class, you can say, well, I do modern or I do tap or you know what I mean?
Right.
And all I did was channeled from all of the classes I took as a youth into that moment and danced around.
It was funny.
It was funny as shit.
I mean,
I wish I could see the outtakes for that.
I don't know if it's probably on the bloop,
the blooper reel,
but I mean,
I just wanted to see more.
It was cut too quick.
I wanted to see you dancing around in your fucking outfit.
I felt very svelte.
When I look back at that now,
I look at that and I'm like,
wow,
I was in shape.
Yeah.
Well,
we saw you when you did the pimp strut.
I mean,
you,
you had very,
you had like a,
like a C cup and you looked firm. Well, you know,
they look like A's, but they're really C's.
Yeah, they were delicious.
I liked your wig, and
then I had the long mullet on.
For when you walk in the room.
Now, I remember something
completely different when they meet
in college. I remember J.D.
saying something, and maybe this was in the
outtakes but jd saying something like i'm a first level wizard and i must be a different episode
it's a different episode but you're introducing yourself to uh jd's introducing himself to turk
isn't he no i think i'm your roommate and i'm walking i walk in it's this is not the first
time we're meeting the first time we meet is when we talk about Wizardry.
I thought we'd do a whole montage.
Yeah, there's a funny montage, but I don't think it's the very first time we meet.
I thought it was.
I thought it was.
I don't remember, but I loved the mullet and you and I in college.
And every time we cut back there, I think it's so funny.
That's a great storyline.
college uh and every time we cut back there i think it's so funny that's a great storyline if they were to ever do a re re uh remake of scrubs it would be great to do the college years
the college years but it's our old our old asses in the fucking wigs
with a bunch of young kids all around us and we're just that's the pitch like that show pen 15 you
ever see that show pen 15 no i have not there's two women playing uh 15 year olds
and everyone around them are real 15 year olds but they play 15 year olds we should do that
shit for college be hilarious oh my god you guys would be so good at that that would be
fucking fun donald okay well yeah we got the show guys that's that's the fucking remake um
i noticed that carl and elliot really seem to be friends in this episode. That kind of struck me.
I was noticing that we've been talking about how their friendship was sort of building,
and now they're like buddies shooting the shit with no animosity.
She's giving her advice on Rick Schroeder.
I think that our memory of how the two of them were just dates to the first few encounters
that they had in the first season.
But I really do believe that Elliot and Carla are,
they go on to become the bestest of friends.
Yeah, but I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong on the timeline of it all,
but this just episode, as I was making notes,
it made me think, oh, they're really like, she's confiding in her.
They have sort of an inside joke about,
she says something about Carla's hummus breath or something.
They do it a lot. When she
started dating Rick Schroeder's character
on the show,
the two of them are talking where she's like,
she says, Carla, you know how I'm crazy?
And Carla's like, yeah. She's like, well,
I'm having a hard time keeping that away
from Nurse Flowers. You know what I mean?
So they've obviously
have developed a friendship yeah she
confides in her yeah um how about how about uh ted the lawyer's reaction to ken dying when he thinks
so johnny c changes and puts a death date on on kelso's portrait and then oh my god sammy was so
funny he was just like elated he was he was. Yeah. In the words of Mike Tyson, he was ecstatic.
Ecstatic?
He was ecstatic.
Let's talk about one thing.
Ted's band is now doing commercial jingles.
Yes.
Do you know what commercial jingle he's doing when he gets cut off?
When they're like, you deserve a break today.
Do you remember what that's from?
Right? When they're like, you deserve a break today. Do you remember what that's from? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Right?
My wife thought it was Disney.
Like Disneyland.
Yeah, it's close to Disney.
Somewhat.
What is it?
McDonald's.
At McDonald's.
McDonald's, man.
They've had some of the best jingles in the history.
Do you know what one of my favorites is?
Go ahead.
Big Mac filet of fish, quarter pound of French fry, icy Coke, thick shakes,
sundaes, and apple pies.
You remember that one?
No.
That sounds like a wrap.
Speaking of wrapping McDonald's, are you going to go get a Travis Scott burger
or whatever it's called?
Do you remember this?
I'm so confused by the Travis Scott. For the great taste of McDonald's, are you going to go get a Travis Scott burger or whatever it's called? Do you remember this? I'm so confused by the Travis Scott.
For the great taste of McDonald's.
I'm so confused by the Travis Scott
McDonald's collaboration. Can someone
who knows more about pop culture explain it to me?
Joelle, you are our master of all things pop culture.
Maybe Lauren can. She works for E.
Lauren can. She works for E.
The kids love Travis
Scott, man, and McDonald's needs the kids to come eat there because their whole lives they've been like, what was the documentary that they made about?
Yeah.
Supersize me.
Supersize me.
Yeah.
So like these kids, their whole lives, McDonald's has been like persona non grata.
Like it's gross.
Don't go there.
Get out of your feet somewhere else.
Bad for you.
And like Travis Scott can't miss.
Like Cactus Jack, like his shoes at Nike were selling out like crazy.
Oh my God.
I just think it's like a really brilliant partnership to try to like get
some of his fans in.
And there are,
I've seen employees selling their like Cactus Jack McDonald's like
uniforms for like $600 online.
Joelle,
do you like Travis Scott?
You know,
sometimes he hits in the rotation,
but I'm not like a stan
I wouldn't call myself a V
but that makes me know that you're
on the same type of hip hop that I'm on
the fact that you call yourself a stan means that
you're an Eminem fan
it means you like lyrical
you know what a stan is
that's become vernacular
more than it is strictly attributed
it comes from a song
It does
I can appreciate
What Eminem is doing in his time
But it's not really for me
You're telling me you weren't on that
I sit back with these
Zigsags
You weren't on that shit
His palms are sweaty
His arms are heavy.
His vomit on the sweater already.
I don't even think I saw the movie in the theaters.
You're telling me you wasn't down with it?
I never meant to give you mushrooms, girl.
Listen, around that time, I was really into it.
That was my jam.
That shit is banging too, though.
That shit is banging too.
Ain't nobody mad at that.
Britney Spears' circus was really heavy.
Ain't nobody mad at that.
Did you guys hear? That shit is banging too. Ain't nobody mad at that. Britney Spears circus was really heavy. Ain't nobody mad at that.
Did you guys hear, speaking of that Donald and I are introducing, I don't know if we're supposed to talk about this, but we can bleep it.
So Donald and I got asked to, via Zoom, because it's fucking the apocalypse, be a part of
the iHeart Awards.
What do they call it?
The iHeart Music Awards?
The iHeart Music Awards?
Yeah, iHeart Music i heard music awards like that
and donald and i are introducing and uh we need the fans help uh thinking of how we should best
i think it'd be good if it was like an inside joke or maybe donald you dance because you dance so
well i got an idea i got an idea it would be like this it would be like um this next artist needs
no introduction but uh to give you a hint, Donald and I are both going to do
one of his signature dance moves, right?
And then Donald, you do some insane fucking move,
and then I'm like, here I go.
And then I'm like, no, psych, I'm not trying to do that.
Ah.
No, I won't do that.
Because then you're making me dance,
and then we're back at that little whole conversation
that we had before about how the West Wing
didn't make Dulé Hill dance.
I know, but you're such a good dancer.
And I wish the West Wing't make Dulé Hill dance. I know, but you're such a good dancer. And I wish the West Wing had made Dulé Hill dance.
Slappy Bag is your nickname that I've given you
in this episode, which is hilarious.
I have no idea where it comes from. Why am I Slappy
Bag? I don't know. I assume we were
out and everyone got hammered. You weren't invited
for some reason, and I made up nicknames for everybody.
And you go Slappy Bag.
And I go, you're Slappy Bag. And you walk off and And you go Slappy Bag. And I go, you're Slappy Bag,
and you walk off, and I go, Slappy Bag.
But the fact that you go,
the fact that you said to all of the guys,
yo, and Turk is Slappy Bags, and everybody
goes, oh, I totally see it.
He's totally Slappy Bags.
That's some bullshit, dude.
Now, the first time a janitor ever talks to Cox
is in this episode, speaking of big things that happen.
Cox even asks, who are you?
He goes, who the hell are you?
And he goes, I'm just a man with a saw.
But I mean, they gave Neil no storyline.
Neil's entire storyline in this episode is that he has a saw.
This might have been like,
this might have been like gotten to the point in the writer's room
where they're like, I don't know,
just fucking give Neil a cordless saw.
It'll be funny and he'll make up shit.
Dude, the fact that, right.
He has no storyline
his storyline is that he has a saw right and at one point he contemplates cutting his thumb off
because he has nothing to do with the saw yeah and then he cuts my arm off and it bleeds out
right right right um appletini i mean talking about momentous moments the first time i order
an appletini easy on the teeny easy on the teeny Is this the first time we ever hear that J.D. orders Appletini? Yes, this is the very first time that J.D. orders an Appletini.
BBD, shout out.
You're highlighting that I'm a dork and I should just embrace it
and not try and be something that I'm not.
Everyone in this episode, as we said,
is sort of like struggling with trying to be something that they aren't.
And so my character, you're coaching me, just be who you are.
And then I'm like, okay, Appletini, easy on the teeny.
There's a BBD shout out, which made me happy.
Anything new edition always makes me happy.
One of my favorite things growing up was new edition.
I don't think Sarahah knew the song poison
at this point that girl really yeah because the way she sings it it doesn't sound like she knows
it like you can tell that girl is poison like not the melody no but she's like she's like kind of
unsure whereas judy is like the song goes poison and they do it kind of slow. Yeah. But Judy can really sing.
Whereas Sarah breaks glasses.
Like when,
um,
no,
but I think Judy actually knew the song,
but maybe Sarah knew the song.
I don't know.
I don't know that never trusted.
I don't know if never trust a big button.
A smile was in Sarah's vocabulary.
I'm just putting it out there.
I have always trusted a big button,
a smile.
And it's gotten me in a lot of trouble.
All right.
On that note,
we need to take a break,
right? Our caller is here.
We'll be back! Lauren, are you
excited? You're going to experience the caller.
Maybe the caller will have a question for Lauren.
We don't know. We don't know what's going to happen.
But thank you everybody for being
here and we'll be right back.
Bring a little optimism
into your life with The Bright Side, a new
kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and
search The Bright Side.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily
Show, which means he's also back
in our ears on The Daily Show
Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show
podcast has everything you need
to stay on top of today's news
and pop culture. You get hilarious
satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports,
and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.
The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else,
like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines.
Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast.
This season will be even more revealing and more personal, with more entrepreneurs,
more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my
cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson,
about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Dr. Elisa Pressmanman about the five basic strategies to
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the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old rich man, because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Scratch Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
And we're back, and it looks like it is a hospital.
You're not going to be able to handle that last name, Donald.
Don't try it.
What's happening here?
Tiffany Delilah.
I'll say. Tiffany. Don't try it. What's happening here? Tiffany Delilah Halsey
Tiffany
Delilah Halsey
I'm hoping there hasn't been
some kind of emergency.
There's probably an emergency.
I have a feeling they got up to get a coffee.
No, Joelle brought on
someone who works in the hospital and they ran to an emergency.
There's nobody there.
It's a cardiologist.
Hey, hey, hey, you! This is amazing. on someone who works in the hospital and they ran to an emergency. There's nobody there. It's a cardiologist. Tiffany.
Tiffany.
Tiffany.
Oh my gosh. For those of you who can't see,
obviously, we're looking at what looks like
an empty room. A woman just
walked by. Joelle, this is not a
shining moment. If only she knew what's on the computer
screen behind her. She's not
connecting to her audio.
It doesn't even look like they're audio. Yeah, that's what's concerning me.
It doesn't even look like they're there.
Guess if it's in her headphones?
Hold on, let me just...
Lauren, I want you to know...
Tiffany!
Tiffany!
We're waving to her.
I don't even think that's her.
This is amazing.
Are you Tiffany?
She can't even hear us.
This is the best.
You, frozen lady who's not moving.
She's in scrubs.
Well, she didn't help us.
Please go get Tiffany.
Come back.
Come back.
She's just staring at the computer like, what's going on?
Her vibe is very where the fuck is Tiffany?
Is that really Zach Braff and Donald Faison?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Well, we don't know.
We don't know what's happening.
She's sitting there going, is that Joelle Monique?
Oh, my gosh.
There we go.
Hi.
Turn on your audio.
Where's Tiffany?
Tiffany.
Tiffany.
Hi, Tiffany.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Did an emergency happen?
Yeah, I know. We're in clinic. Hi, Tiffany. What's going on? Yeah, no, we're in clinic
Where are you?
Hey, Tiffany, where are you?
I'm at work
But where at work are you?
We're in Louisiana
Wow, love it
But you're in what state?
Louisiana
No, no, no, do it out there so everybody can hear
That you are not working right now
We're supposed to be
Saying happy birthday to Eric Thomas
Yes he
Just walked into a patient's room
So
Are you guys dealing with like crazy COVID shit right now
Um
It's getting a little crazy
We're over it
You guys are over it
I hear that
I thought you had a beard and mustache
with your mask because it's black
and you had it all over your face
it looked like you had a beard and mustache
so wait Tiffany
got this little emblem
little heart you know
nice
Tiffany is this a surprise for somebody
it was but it didn't work out that way.
Okay. So do you have a question for us or do you have to run off and work?
Are you a nurse or a doctor? I can't tell what's happening over there.
No, I mean, I got a second.
Okay.
Tell us a little bit about yourself, Tiffany.
Well, Tiffany, do you have a question for us Or is there any aspect of your life
We have Lauren from E! News
On with us
We have a very fancy reporter here
So Tiffany you're also on E! News right now
I bet you didn't know that
No
I mean we
Were talking about the relationships
Between you guys
And so how did y'all Keep that straight Because even watching the we were wondering, we were talking about the relationships between you guys, and so
how did y'all keep that straight? Because
even watching the
episodes now, y'all are very,
very close.
Like, how do y'all...
When you say, how do we keep that straight, do you mean
like, how do we not slip over into
being... Gay?
Gay? Well, no, not y'all,
but just like... I Well, no, not y'all, but just like...
I mean, no,
but between
Sarah and
all the other characters that come on,
when y'all spend
a lot of time together, you get close,
and you're behind the scene.
Oh, no, girl, come on.
Okay, so I learned a long time ago, never shit where you eat.
We don't kiss and tell.
Yeah, well, not only that, never shit where you eat.
And that can cause a lot of problems.
Is that what goes on?
Tiffany, is that what goes on at the hospital that you work at?
Tiffany, is there lots of romance going on at your hospital?
Going on at your hospital right now?
Oh, you know.
There's a secret code, but, you know.
Because we were told when we were training to do the TV show that lots of doctors and nurses and people in the hospital, they're there late nights.
Lots of romances occur.
Yes.
It's rumored to happen.
It didn't happen much on our show.
There weren't a lot of romances.
Except for those stunt people that fell in love.
Yeah, the stunt people that fell in love.
The sound department and the grip department got married.
They have kids now.
Teddy and...
Oh, that's right.
One of our boom-ups fell in love with...
That's that famous video, right?
Yes.
That is that famous video.
Love that video.
We're part of the proposal.
I love that.
There are relationships that have gone on to become, yeah, that have started from the work environment that we had at Scrubs.
But as far as me, Zach, Sarah, Judy, no, that's got to be, like, Zach's my brother. I don't want to
I don't want to necessarily
I occasionally caught feelings.
I caught feelings for you.
Yeah, but we never took it to the next level.
Like, we kept it as... No, no, because we don't shit
where we eat. Right, we don't shit where we eat.
We kept it as, you know,
you my buddy. Now, Tiffany,
I think you might be a good candidate to have
us fix your life
because this is a very new segment that we do on the podcast.
And we've got Lauren from E! News with us.
She is eager to fix your life.
Now, Tiffany, anything in your life that's going on,
it could be a relationship issue.
It could be anything that you need help with.
We are here, and we're going to give you
advice and fix it for you right now.
It could be
something big or small.
Donald and I are trained fake doctors
and we have
Lauren here who's
very smart. Oh, wait.
Hi. Is it your
birthday today? Yesterday,
but thanks. Happy birthday.
Woo!
The big what? Happy birthday.
4-0. You're 40? Wow. Congratulations.
Congratulations, Jimmy.
In the words of Stevie Wonder,
happy birthday to you.
Oh, yeah, he's good.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday. to you happy birthday to you happy birthday what what's going on over there what what type of
medical um establishment are you guys all uh working in well this is a cardiology clinic
oh i see so when you when you had to go uh see a patient that person that person really needed
some attention it wasn't like uh you guys are, you know.
Well, some of these are just follow-ups.
They come back, you know, once a year,
check on things, preventative stuff.
Well, listen, we've gotten to the point of the show where we want to fix one of your guys' lives.
Tiffany, do you have something that needs fixing
or maybe one of your friends?
Where to start?
Where to start?
One of your friends?
Where to start?
No, I mean, school just started over here,
so that's my main big stressor right now, just trying to get the kids.
Do you guys all have children?
Well, yeah.
Well, that's fine.
And you guys are all having to deal with daycare while you're away.
Yeah, that was a huge stressor because we had babysitters falling through and still got to come to work.
Well, yeah, you guys are all essential workers also.
How old are your kids, Tiffany?
Mine are 10 and 7.
And are they able to attend a school in person these days so they're going to school so you have to so that helps then doesn't it
do it so that helps though then doesn't it that helps now but it wasn't like that for a while so
you guys were what were you guys doing to to to combat, uh, you know, not having, I
mean, we had multiple babysitters.
I went through three of them.
So just go to daycare.
They still had daycares open.
And so it's just whatever you can do.
That's really hard.
And how do you feel?
Um, because you're in the medical profession with them being back at school? Does that make you anxious or do you feel that they'll be safe there and the precautions that the school is taking enough?
I mean, I hope. I'm hoping.
But, you know, like Natalie said, we're all over everything.
We're ready for it to be over.
We just want to get back to normal life.
Well, that's tough. You in the medical profession, you guys all know how difficult that's going to be to get back to normal.
There'll be a new normal, I think. I don't necessarily think there'll be what it was before.
But, yeah, no, I hear you. I imagine it's a relief to have the kids back in school and not have to worry about, you know, who's taking care of them while you're at work.
I mean, it's a worry, but we'll just have to see.
You're legit in your closet.
Where did you think I was when I said that I was? Well, I don't know. I mean, this has been going on for a long time.
I figured you'd get a new spot by now, but.
No.
It doesn't work that fast.
I wish it worked that fast.
I wish life moved that fast.
I wish people were like, I wish money came to people that quick.
I wish that life was that way.
You know?
No.
Well, Tiffany, you can't beat the sound quality that comes out of Donald's walk-in closet.
It sounds great.
It's rich and warm.
That's true.
That is true.
Do you want to introduce your friends that you got with you right now?
Yes.
What's happening?
I have to say, I grew up watching Scrubs when I was in medical school.
And so it was a good relief.
We'd sit around, all of of us and watch it and see
the ups and downs.
I have all these new
young, 20-some-year-old
employees, so we make them
watch
Scrubs here, so they understand.
We appreciate that.
They're not the fans. You're really the
fan.
I grew up watching it
but I was 12 when it came out
you make me feel so young
so we're Donald and I
thank you so much
well I don't know that we can fix
your life because that's a
problem you brought up Donald this might be the first
time we're not able to fix someone's life because
I think we did fix her life I I'm going to be honest with you.
How did we fix it? Why? We just talked to her about
her conundrum with her children going to school.
Yeah, and I think that right there was enough
for her to be like, I feel better about
it all, and my life is fixed.
So Tiffany, you're welcome, Tiffany.
You're welcome, Tiffany. You're welcome.
You're welcome, Tiffany. Thunders applause, Dan.
Alright, well, we got to get going. Thank you applause, Dan. All right.
Well, we got to get going.
Thank you guys for coming on the show.
I'm glad we were able to fix all of your lives.
And happy birthday.
Thank you for all that you do.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks.
Y'all stay safe.
Bye, guys.
Take care.
I don't know about that one, Joelle.
I think that was a bit of a disaster, Joelle.
I'm so sorry.
I thought we were going to say happy birthday.
That woman, with all all due respect she seemed legitimately
bothered and annoyed to be having to talk to us i'm gonna go with if they were shy and like maybe
a little overwhelmed to be in your celebrity she kept she kept doing she kept doing this joelle
yeah i mean i mean joelleelle. I will try harder.
Doctors, let's work on getting a time when your schedules are actually okay.
Well, no, but she had nothing prepared.
She didn't really have a question other than did we all sleep with each other.
That's what she was going for.
She was wondering who got down with who.
Yeah, and then, you know, she didn't really have anything that we could fix
because we can't fix Corona, sadly.
If only we could.
If only.
Oh, dude.
We'll be better next week.
We've got good stuff lined up for you.
Hey, so JD walking down the hall saying hi to everyone after becoming popular,
after throwing JD, after throwing Turk under the bus.
You know what that reminds me of?
What?
Can't Buy Me Love.
Go ahead.
I've never seen Can't Buy Me Love. Don't be mad at me. You've never seen Can't Buy Me Love? No, don't be mad at me. Have any of you guys seen Can't Buy Me Love. Go ahead. I've never seen Can't Buy Me Love.
You've never seen Can't Buy Me Love?
Have any of you guys seen Can't Buy Me Love?
Yeah. Yes.
Cindy Mancini?
Lauren, have you seen it?
Anyway, it's about a kid who becomes
popular after he pays the most popular girl
in school to go out with him, right?
Right.
She agrees to do it and they date for a one month and at the end of the month he's so popular and they agree at the end of the month that they they break up right but he's so
popular at this point that she's kind of caught feelings for him the school really likes him so
they break up and she says to him, you know, just whatever you do,
be yourself tomorrow because you're now this infamous single guy.
You're now this famous single guy in high school.
And he walks into the school acting exactly like J.D.
That's right.
I'm here.
What's up, Big Sac?
Oh, let me give you some high fives.
Oh, my dude.
And giving everybody hugs, and he has his own handshake with everyone and everything like that now.
And it was that moment that J.D.
When watching this, I was like, holy shit.
J.D., for popularity, becomes the biggest asshole on the planet.
Just to be popular.
He's willing to make it.
It went to his head.
It went to his head real quick.
Like that.
All he needed was somebody to say, oh, shit, you're not the weakest link in this group.
Turk is the weakest link because he liked dance.
Yeah.
You know?
And then it ends.
It's funny you mentioned an 80s movie because it reminded me at the end of 16 Candles when
Anthony Michael Hall is like king of the nerds right him and is it john cusack
but no in his band in his group it's him yeah he's like nerd posse yeah he's like
john cusack and one other dude yeah yeah and then like that when the episode ends with like
johnny castle uh asking me for my nasal spray and uh we did this shot actually Actually, it was funny. I was sitting on the dolly.
I remember they were like,
how are we going to get him to just levitate?
And the camera dolly we put the camera on
has a silent hydraulic lift to it
so you can raise the camera silently.
And I just sat.
I remember they put like a little cushion on it
and I just sat on the end of the dolly as I rise up.
And I'm like, I am king of the dorks or whatever it was.
And it reminded me of that moment
in 16 Candles
where Anthony Michael Hall is sort of like king of the nerds.
Yeah, Anthony Michael Hall is the king of the nerds
in 16 Candles for some horrible
reasons, but we won't get into that.
Let's also talk about
JK and who's the guy
helping JK when they're moving
Kelso's office.
Who,
who was the other guy?
Cause he was with us.
I forgot his name,
but he was another,
um,
a regular.
Yeah.
And also,
did you notice when there's a shot in the,
um,
when a Loma is when everyone's sort of looking at Kelso's,
uh,
portrait that says he's dead.
Now there was a shot of a bunch of our regulars.
You had Mick head and you had uh dionte yeah and um there was somebody else i wrote down um oh yeah well
aloma obviously but there was like a whole bunch of our regulars there yeah mick mick had getting
more and more screen time as the show evolves mick mick head turns out to be one of bill's
assassins for this episode he always came through with the right way of saying his jokes and his lines were all, he never overdid it.
Not for this episode.
You said for this episode.
You mean in the show.
I'm sorry, for the series.
He becomes, just for all of the fans out there who've watched the show, just watch how much more screen time Mick had gets as he's introduced as
Mick had,
he just,
you know,
Frank was one of those guys that never overcooked it and he never under
undercooked it.
He always stayed on point.
And so now is the time you'll start seeing him more and more in the show
from,
from this moment on.
All right.
That's the show gang.
I think we did it.
I think,
I think Lauren had, I think Lauren had,
I mean, Lauren, is it safe to say that you had an enjoyable experience? Yeah, this was amazing.
It felt like I was just watching the podcast and I kept forgetting that I was like,
it's an interactive podcast, Lauren. Um, no, we're glad you're here. And, um, and thank you to our
amazing producer, uh, Joelle. And of course, Daniel, even though, you know,
Joelle is allowed to misfire with a guest
every now and then, guys.
I'm sorry.
Let's not rag it on Joelle.
How is it Joelle's fault that the guests were unprepared?
I'm sure they've been emailing her nonstop on some stuff.
I meant that I felt like that woman
would have had no different attitude
if she was taking one of those DMV courses where you've gotten too many points and you have to like go through the fucking checklist.
I feel like I feel like I feel like I feel like when the doctor said when the guy said I grew up on scrubs and I make everybody watch it.
She was one of those people that he makes watch.
That's what I honestly believe.
That's the honest to goodness truth.
I feel like she was, I don't mean that everyone has to be effusive and excited to be on the show, but it's hard to get on the show.
Joelle fields hundreds of emails.
I do.
I think when we finally pick someone, they should at least seem 70% interested in being on the show.
I will
say this. No mug for her.
No mug for her.
You know what? In fact,
Joelle, pick up a mug
and smash it on the ground.
This could have been
yours, Tiffany, but you
blew it.
Not only are we not sending her a mug, Joelle,
I want what would have been her mug smashed on the ground.
Oh my god.
And then, Joelle, I want you to take
one of those fake doctors, real friends
masks and burn
it. And just burn it in your fireplace.
Oh my gosh.
We're not going to waste good PPE.
Wait till you guys hear the
fucking merch we have coming. We have
beach towels coming. We have beach towels coming.
We have washcloths coming.
All sorts of shit.
We're talking about wrapping paper.
How great would it be this Christmas, this Hanukkah, this Kwanzaa to wrap your present for your family members, this Rosh Hashanah to wrap.
We don't give presents on Rosh Hashanah, Don.
You don't?
But no, you can stick with...
What about Ramadan?
Do they give presents on Ramadan?
I don't know about Ramadan.
I don't know either.
But the show's over, so we're not going to make
Joelle Google that.
We really need to get up on our religious holidays.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Listen, I played Toby Sebastian on here,
one show, number one lover, and everybody loved
it.
Got such great feedback.
And so I thought we'd play another jam, another hot jam by Toby Sebastian called Train to
Mexico.
Really good song.
And it's on my workout playlist and on my party playlist.
And I think you guys will really like it.
So thank you, everybody.
Lauren, thank you for being here.
Daniel,
Joelle,
you rule as always.
Donald,
I miss you so much.
I can't wait to watch you swim in person and not on my security camera.
Zach,
you know,
when you come home,
of course you have to bubble for a little bit because of your travel and all of that stuff.
But I can't wait till we are back in a bubble together again.
I am going to, I'm probably going to just mount you.
I'm going to mount you once it's time.
And I will accept and receive said mount.
Said mount.
All right.
Thank you, guys.
We love you all.
And here is the very talented Toby Sebastian with Train to Mexico.
Heading down 300 miles left the old coach said she had flown out
ways
i'm big and i'm crazy i'm there I don't know why, cause I really haven't got time All the questions that we left on our cards
I'm begging, I'm crazy, I'm mad
I'm singing, why can't you see that I've cried?
Begging, please, I'm singing
Why, darling, I'm begging
Why, darling, I'm begging
Why can't you see that I've cried? Begging, please, I'm begging Why, can't you see that I'm crying
Peggy, please, I'm singing
Why, darling, I'm begging
Why, darling, I'm begging
She said, I'm gonna skip town
I'm getting sick and tired of your messing around
She said, you pull me to the left and I wanna be right
She had to teach her wife I'm not the whole land She said you pulled me to the left And I wanna be the right She had to teach her wife
I'm not a dress in sight
Now I'm on a trip to Mexico
Try to call her private number
I don't know why
Cause I really haven't got time
I think it's time that we let down our cards
I'm begging her, Trish, here I'm at it
She's singing, why?
Can't you see that I cry? Make it clear, she's singing, why, darling, I'm begging Thank you. I'm in Chihuahua and I stayed in the night
I'm searching for us but you're nowhere in sight
I get the feeling that I'm losing my mind
How can I explain? I'm crying?
Making people sing
Why, darling, I'm aching
Why, darling, I'm singing
Why can't you see that I'm crying?
Making people sing
Why, darling, I'm aching
Why, darling, I'm singing why, darling, I'm singing why, darling, I'm singing why.
Can't you see that I cry?
Becky, please, I'm singing why, darling, I'm singing why, darling, I'm singing why.
Can't you see it in a crowd Why, as you see it in a crowd
Why, darling, I'm here for you
Why, darling, I'm here for you
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