Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 220: My Interpretation
Episode Date: September 17, 2020On this week episode, Turk can't stop having sex dreams about Elliot. In the real world, Joelle gets a much better fan call (I'm so sorry.) https://amandakloots.com/subscription-preview-page Learn mo...re about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks
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Hey, I'm back in L.A.
Are you excited to be back, I'm back in LA.
Are you excited to be back?
I'm very excited to be back.
That shirt that you're wearing right now,
it's a little tight.
Thank you.
It says, hooray. No, I mean, it's a little tight.
Like, it's constricting.
It's both.
It's both.
Well, on a non-dissing me note,
it says, hooray for health heroes,
because I believe in that.
Our friend Amanda Kloots,
who is the widow of the late Nick Cordero, has been selling all these awesome shirts.
Hooray for different things. And she gave me hooray for health heroes because she knows I
love health heroes. And to give her a plug, I'm sure, I don't know what the link is, but if you put in Amanda
Kloots, hooray for dot, dot, dot t-shirts, I think some of the money goes to a really
good cause.
And of course, some of the money goes to helping her live without her husband.
Amen.
Right on.
How are you guys doing after this wonderful weekend that we just had?
Happy to be home. Happy to be home.
Happy to be home.
We're all finally back in L.A. together.
Did you just land, Zach, today?
I landed late last night, and I know it is smoky here.
It does.
If you don't live in L.A., it smells kind of like the whole place smells like a campfire.
And there's this weird haze that the sun comes through and kind of gives
everything a weird instagrammy filter right it's like it's like if you were a photographer
and you didn't want to go through the normal white balancing you might use daylight and usually that
makes your pictures really orange that's what it's like outside yeah if you've lived here through
all of these fires,
you're probably used to it.
But I was gone so long,
and now I'm finally back,
and it's eerie.
It does kind of look like there's this filter over everything.
And of course, you smell it.
And occasionally, fire choppers fly by over my house.
I'm told the closest one is Pasadena to us.
Is that right, guys?
Do you know?
Yeah, it's the Bobcat fire.
But if you look on a map of California where they show there's fires,
it looks like the entire state is on fire.
It's just insane.
Well, it's not just California.
Oregon is experiencing fires in a bunch of places.
Colorado as well.
Colorado, the West Coast is on fire right now, to be honest with you.
Everything West is, in the United States, is burning, man.
This thing is like, it's just, you know, smoke field after smoke field after smoke field, you know what I mean?
Like, we needed that. I mean, it's like I remember when the COVID first started and someone put on – there was some announcement that bears were coming out of the woods because of looking for food because people weren't leaving their houses.
And someone put on Twitter something like, not now, bears.
And that's kind of how I feel about the fires.
It's like, are you fucking kidding me?
Like we already have an apocalypse going.
You're bringing fires now?
Yeah, fires.
I mean, if there is a...
Here comes the flood, too.
Did you hear about the piece of ice
double the size of Manhattan
that's just broken off from the Arctic ice thing?
And it's just floating along in the ocean now,
eventually the size of two Manhattans.
Two Manhattans.
If there is a higher power, it does feel like he or she is trying to get rid of us.
Well, we're helping.
We're helping.
Yeah.
We're definitely helping.
But doesn't it feel like these are just plagues?
feel like these are just plagues and and you know george carlin had this amazing bit about how like how the earth and mother earth is way more powerful than than than the humans are like
little ants on its back and it's just gonna like swat them off eventually and then some other
animal it'll be their turn to to rule earth but but i and and you can google that it's
super articulate and genius as George Carlin was.
But I've been thinking about that bit lately because I'm like, the Earth or a higher power or something feels like it's like, all right, fuck humans.
Enough.
Yeah.
We've been fucking it up for too long.
This is the results of our own greed.
I like to think there's a sci-fi movie that could chronologically tell the tale
of this planet like what if we aren't the you know what i mean like they're just they're just
figuring out that there could be life on uh venus right they just they just they just figured that
out there's it's possible that the the atmosphere has bacteria in it right okay so like what if
we were at venus first we were we were venus and then we were and then we were we fucked that
planet up and somehow we got to earth we're about to fuck that planet up this planet up and we're
gonna terraform mars and that's the next stop for our civilization to begin and we're going to terraform Mars and that's the next stop for our civilization
to begin.
And we're just hopping through the galaxy freaking in almost like we're a bacteria,
dude.
Shit's crazy, dude.
Right.
When you think about it.
Anyway.
And we're going to need, yeah.
And the sun's burning out anyway.
So, I mean, it all, it all has an end date even billions of years from now, years from
now.
I know.
But guys, worst case scenario, we're going to die off before the sun burns off.
But the sun is, there is an end date, you know?
The sun is going to run out.
I want you to know something.
Two things.
My publicist gifted me something.
Is this?
Oh, my God.
She got you the fucking simulator.
Is it the simulator?
Calm down.
Everybody calm down.
But I want you to know, and I want all the fans to know,
the level of friend that I am.
I'm not going to tell you what it is because it's not coming for three weeks,
but it's mega.
It's a fucking simulator, dude.
No, it's not a simulator.
And don't guess.
I already know what it is.
I already know what it is.
Please stop guessing.
I just want you to know something.
She scored me something very, very special and expensive.
And I said, I couldn't possibly take that unless you got Donald 1-2.
And she said, hold on, I'm on it.
And that was like a month ago.
Wow.
And she just texted me today.
She scored you 1-2.
Thank you for the new Xbox. i appreciate it's not an xbox
it's doper than an xbox but don't guess when i want the fans and listeners you will you will be
the first i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna arrange it so when it comes you open it on the podcast
i've always wanted a tesla i truly appreciate it no no you went too high with tesla and you
went too low with Xbox
It's somewhere in between a Tesla and an Xbox
The second thing I gotta tell you
Is that I ordered a Peloton
And it arrived while I was gone
Congratulations
And so I did my first
I'm so out of shape
All I did was eat fish and chips and drink
Over there in the United Kingdom
And I have love handles And I'm not down with that.
So they're going to be gone thanks to my new Peloton.
What do you think?
But listen, I want to tell you, I chose an instructor.
I chose the – I don't know if you've used the – I think he's a British Asian guy.
No.
But my point is, is that he's got your exact tattoo.
He's got a Superman.
Well, you're getting rid of it, right?
Mine is pretty much gone.
Well, Donald had, when he was very young, a Superman tattoo on his arm.
And he's had it his whole life, or since he was young.
And he didn't like it anymore.
He's getting rid of it.
But I take my first spin class on my Peloton, and I get on.
And there, in the exact same spot as yours the darn fella had a superman tattoo
I love that that's cool and now you just know it was kismet and now you've just opened up
the DC universe for me and we can get into that before we know no no no it's a scrubs podcast
and then it's also about our friends I'm'm just joking. I'm just joking. I'm just joking. You and Joelle are perfectly, perfectly ready and able to go do the Marvel DC Star Wars podcast.
Can't wait.
All right.
Let's count us in.
Five, six, seven, eight. About a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses
And a janitor who loved to hate
I said he's got stories
That we all should know
So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald
This episode is about sex, sex, sex.
No, this episode has a lot of sex in it.
This episode is titillating.
This is one of those episodes that if you walked in and your kids were watching it,
you would either, if they were young enough, say, turn that off.
Or if they were of an age to watch it, you would leave the room.
Because there is fucking in this episode.
Well, and there's a lot of tongue fighting in this episode.
Yeah, now I want to get right into that.
Do you want to do your summary?
Because I do want to talk about the tongue in this episode.
There's a lot of tongue.
All right, let's get into it.
All right, let me get my timer out.
It's going to be long.
No, you know, 30 seconds.
That's the game, remember?
And go.
Everyone has secrets.
J.D. knows and is helping Jordan keep her baby's father's identity a secret.
J.D. also secretly sexed up Tasty Coma Wife.
Turk's having sex dreams about Elliot and wants to keep it a secret from Carla.
And Dr. Cox is secretly hating the time Jordan is making him spend with his kid he doesn't even know is his own.
In order to keep a secret, you often have to tell a lie.
And when you tell one lie, it leads to another and another.
Whether it's to protect yourself or someone other than you, lying, although easy, isn't the wisest choice.
Yes, sometimes the truth hurts, but the pain of guilt and regret is immeasurable
and can last a lifetime when your secret and or lie is uncovered, especially when it hurts the one you are trying to protect.
Okay.
Now, let's say the game was Donald.
Do it in 49 seconds.
You nailed it.
Right on.
I love that.
Right on.
You nailed it.
No, that was good. That was good.
Well, I put at the top of my thing, I wrote all my notes. And then as I was kind of looking them
over, I just wrote sex on the top of my pad, because there's a lot of sex. There's a lot
of horniness. There's a lot of pent up libidos in this episode. Absolutely. But if you notice,
everything that's fucked up in this
all comes from someone either lying or keeping a secret from the other person. It's fine to be
sexual and everything like that. But when you start keeping secrets in sex or you start lying
about sex, that's when usually stuff starts to go the wrong way. But why would Turk or why would you
or why would anyone tell their lover that they had a sex dream about
their female friend that just seems like a horrible idea well the minute that Turk told
Elliot yeah horrible idea why do you do that she's a blabbermouth we know we know Elliot's a blabbermouth
not only that what are you trying to start so you want to be starting something are you saying that
shit so that Elliot would be like you know what what? I've been thinking about you too, Turk.
I've always wanted BBC.
You know what I mean?
Like, is that what happens?
BBC.
Is that what he was expecting to happen?
Yeah.
I doubt Elliot's ever had BBC.
You're talking about the British network, right?
Yeah.
The British network.
Now, I have to jump right to that fantasy of you guys because I had multiple emotions.
A, I had –
Okay.
No, we're going to go back, but it's the headline.
For everyone who doesn't remember, this is the episode where Sarah is in like the sexiest pleather nurse stripper outfit.
Oh, my gosh.
And she's on Donald, and Donald's having a sex dream about her.
Turk's having a sex dream about her.
And they really go at it.
Now, I had mixed emotions.
One, I was like, okay, damn, Sarah, because she's got the stocking thing with the garter belt.
I don't know.
What do you call those things when it's like a strap that holds the stockings up?
A panty.
A garter belt.
It's a garter belt.
Garter belts.
I don't even know that purpose of the damn thing, but it looked great.
It's to keep the stockings up.
You said it right.
Okay.
Well, her stockings are up, and she's kissing on you, and I just got to know, what was that like?
I mean, you discussed on the show that you weren't getting too many opportunities outside of the beautiful and talented Judy Reyes.
And there's your friend Sarah Chalk in a naughty outfit mounting you, kissing on you.
I'm going to tell you something right now.
When we were filming it, it felt horrible because it was like kissing my sister.
I don't believe that.
I don't believe you.
Okay.
But I'm telling you that when doing that, it like oh my god i'm kissing my sister i love
sarah chalk so much that it is like my family when i'm around her and at this point in the series
we had spent so much time together we had spent so much time together that it was no longer you
know when i first saw sarah obviously i was like holy cow
she's hot when i first saw judy holy cow she's hot but at this point she is my sister and so
i remember doing this scene and being like oh my god and not this is gross but uh this is work
let's approach this as professionals and you know uh make it through uh i mean, I don't think you're lying, but I also don't think that you thought it was uncomfortable as it would be.
It was very uncomfortable.
Really?
Yeah, it was one of those uncomfortable feelings where it was like it felt dirty, but not in a good dirty way.
You know what I mean?
It felt bad dirty. It felt bad dirty. Like, this doesn in a good dirty way. You know what I mean? It felt bad dirty.
It felt bad dirty.
Like, this doesn't feel right at all.
And you didn't have any twitching or movement, I take it.
There was no twitching or movement.
And I love Sarah, and I think she's beautiful and hot.
But at that time, when shooting this, there was nothing happening.
Okay, well, you sold it.
When I saw it today, I was like, oh, wow, look at the chemistry Sarah and I have.
Yeah.
The kiss was passionate.
It felt, you know what I mean?
Everything about it felt sexual and tab, not tabooish, but like sexual and, well, I guess tabooish because you're not supposed to be thinking about stuff like that when you're engaged.
And I totally understand if there were people out there that caught feelings when watching it.
I understand why,
because it was hot.
It was fire.
I had multiple emotions going on.
I had one that was like,
wow, that's kind of hot.
I mean, Sarah looked great
and you two going at it
was sort of naughty and taboo,
like you said.
But then I had a little bit like, why is Donald making out with my TV girlfriend?
I was a little jealous.
You got a little jealous.
I had a little tinge of like, get your fucking hands off my TV girlfriend.
Have you ever seen The Last Dragon?
No.
You've never seen The Last Dragon?
The Last Dragon?
No, I've not seen The Last Dragon.
Please see The Last Dragon. Please, I'm begging you to see The Last Dragon? The Last Dragon? No, I've not seen The Last Dragon. Please see The Last Dragon.
Please, I'm begging you to see The Last Dragon.
Who plays the dragon?
This dude.
This dude, Tymoc.
It's Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon, okay?
Barry Gordy started Motown.
You know what Motown is, right?
Come on, buddy.
Okay, I'm just saying.
Put out such artists as Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Michael Jackson.
You don't have to list Motown artists.
Just put it out there.
For fuck's sake.
He made a movie.
He produced a movie called The Last Dragon about Bruce Leroy, the protector of Harlem,
the Kung Fu protector of Harlem, the Kung Fu protector of Harlem.
And there's only one person in his path that is trying to stop him
from being the one protector of Harlem, and that is Shonuf.
And Shonuf is the Shogun of Harlem.
And he is the prettiest, and he is the baddest.
And there's Kung Fu in it.
There's music in it.
Is it like a blaxploitation movie?
I guess you could say that.
I don't think they meant to do that when they were making it.
It was meant to be taken as a real story, but with comedy and action and adventure.
But I'm telling you right now, in my youth growing up, this was a huge movie.
So anybody out there listening, if you haven't seen The Last Dragon and you want to laugh
and you want to see some really cool action
and you want to hear some witty lines
and stuff like that,
please get it.
But there's a line in it where...
It doesn't make sense if you haven't seen the movie,
but there's a line in it where Vanity,
God rest her soul,
rest in peace,
is being kidnapped
and this young man who plays Bruce Leroy's brother, God rest her soul, rest in peace, is being kidnapped.
And this young man who plays Bruce Leroy's brother, God rest his soul, he also passed away, yells at the kidnapper, hey, get your hands off my woman.
And the dude looks at him like, you got to be fucking kidding me.
And he gets even louder.
I said, get your hands off my woman! And so when you got jealous about
me kissing on Sarah, it made me
think of, get your hands
off my woman! I digress.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Well, I don't know
what to say to that long, epic
anecdote, but
yes, Donald, that is how I felt.
I felt like, get your hands
off my woman.
Now, I want to talk about movie kissing because there's times when you do a movie kiss and you just sort of both open your mouths but there's no tongue.
And then there's times when you do a movie kiss and between the two actors, you kind of get lost in it and it becomes like a real French kiss.
the two actors, it just, you kind of get lost in it and it becomes like a real
French kiss.
I noticed that in yours
there wasn't really any visible
tongue.
Yeah, you know, but there was a lot of lip
which is also really sexy.
You know what I mean? But I'm telling you that I'm
embarrassed because in my
sex scene, I'm embarrassed
to tell you there's a lot of visual
tongue. And I don't think there should be.
I think it's too much.
I think Amy Smart and I got a little lost in the moment.
That's fine.
But I kind of cringed when I was like, oh, buddy, nobody wants to be seeing tongues.
No, you know what?
There was a moment in time where that was sexy.
And when in movies, you kind of, you kind of i can rationalize it a little
bit though it was so naughty and so taboo we're literally fucking in the storage closet of the
funeral home where her husband is being put in a coffin laid to rest laid to rest and so it was so wrong and taboo and up against the wall and just like
it wasn't making love it was fucking and so there was this extra passion and hunger
yeah not only that the fact that jd decides to mask or deceive the people who hear Amy Smart's character moan in the closet as if
something fell on his head, something hit his hand or something like that.
Amy Smart's, Amy's character has an orgasm and she lets out this loud yell. And then I come out and say, something fell on my foot.
And I recreate her orgasm being like, ah.
Pretty perfectly, too.
But it's not like you didn't go, ah.
It was like, ah.
Like, it was like.
That's funny.
It's like I tell everyone at the funeral home, like, I'm so sorry. Something fell on my foot. And then I'm like, I was like that's funny it's like i tell everyone at the funeral home like um i'm so sorry
something fell on my foot and then i'm like i was like uh
that was so naughty for i mean think about what we're doing on fucking primetime
nbc back in the day i i'm still shocked this was 20 years ago yeah i feel like now that would be
like not something you put in prime time on nbc but i don't know it was good it was funny well
you got to remember there weren't all of these other uh networks streaming services you know
what i mean i always say that and bill was trying to push the envelope of what you could do but man
did he i mean i i, I just can't imagine.
We hear about people's kids watching Scrubs nowadays on Hulu or wherever they're finding it.
And I remember Matt Tarsus, who's one of our friends and writers, said that he walked into the room and his kids were watching Scrubs.
And he circled right back and walked out because it was something so risque like this.
I just can't imagine your kids are watching us all bang.
The whole cold opening
is hilarious, man.
So good. It's a great episode.
Yeah, I laughed really hard.
I mean, when you look at it,
the whole massage thing and how
Jordan wants him to watch the kids
so she can get a massage, I can relate to that.
Everybody needs a massage,
you know what I mean?
Also, Johnny looking like baby Lex Luther. That had a massage. You know what I mean? Also, Johnny looking like baby
Lex Luthor. That had me rolling.
You know what I mean? He looked like Lex Luthor
was a baby.
Anyway, Todd
deciding that he was going to
take a Tuesday after he worked
out instead of before he worked out.
Just to remind those of you
who didn't watch it, it's really clever.
They present all the lead characters with some sort of thing they're doing.
Kelso's in tight shoes.
Todd doesn't know if he wants the dookie before or after his workout.
Everyone's –
The janitor is defibrillating, pretending he's a doctor,
and is defibrillating a mop dressed up like a patient.
Yep, and Aloma, Nurse Roberts, is repairing a copy machine.
And all these people have their own things they're involved in.
And then it all culminates with everyone screaming for a different reason.
It was so, so clever the way that was all done.
Very clever.
I laughed so hard at Kelso looking at his foot with the blood after the shoes were too small.
What about Sam Lloyd?
Sam Lloyd in the mirror.
He looks in the mirror.
He hasn't looked in the mirror at himself in a long time,
and he screams at himself.
Oh, man.
A really, really good episode.
And so many things.
It's another one.
God, season two was great, I got to say.
We really hit our stride here because there's so many things.
I mean, we'll get to them all,
but there's a whole bunch of things in this episode
that are like really memorable moments from all nine years.
So I really like my fall down the stairs.
I wrote that down, the great Pratt fall.
Thank you.
For the cold open also.
I really took a dive.
That was a nice one.
Amazing.
I wish they didn't cut away from me.
I mean, I wish they had done the classic J.D. fall
and then pop back up because
they cut to amy's reaction of course it makes sense to cut to a reaction but you could have
easily have just done me big fall obviously hit a mat without anyone seeing and then pop right back
up like nothing happened but but i mean there's a bunch of moments in that whole scene where
it's jokes that are similar to that where it's like misleading
where she's like you want to go get a drink and you're like yeah let's get out of here
you know what i mean why is there a bar at this funeral home first of all is there ever have you
ever been to a funeral that wasn't i know like at like when people go back to their house they
have booze but like this funeral home has waiters serving booze is Is that a thing? I don't know that it is a thing.
I've been to a bar after a funeral.
Joelle, you look like you're thinking about it. Have you ever been to
a funeral where they served booze
on trays?
I know that's how the Greeks do.
I would love to hear from our Irish fans.
Is this a horrible stereotype
I've been taught as an American, or do you guys actually do
booze at your funerals?
No, I know when they
everyone goes home, like we
Jews have Shiva, which is, and I know
that other denominations have wakes
and there's booze there, but I've never seen
at the funeral.
There were waiters with trays. I just don't think
that would be a good thing to do. You've seen
some of the things that happen at African American
funerals. I just
couldn't imagine serving booze at the
funeral because, you know,
shit jumps off, period. I couldn't imagine
liquor. Oh my goodness
gracious, I can't imagine liquor.
It'd be a bad idea because, you know, the people
who have to speak would get up and get,
they're already emotional enough. They don't need booze to
make them. Nobody needs that.
Nobody needs that. No.
But it was funny. I mean, she goes, you should get a drink.
And I grab one off the tray.
And she goes, no, that guy's bussing those drinks, JD.
You have to order from him.
And I spit it back up in my cup.
And I go, somebody's a smoker.
I guess – does that mean he ashed in his drink?
I don't know.
I think there was a cigarette butt in the drink.
I laughed.
I laughed. I didn't even know what the joke was. I didn't know if I think there was a cigarette butt in the drink. I laughed. I laughed.
I didn't even know what the joke was.
I didn't know if he had put his cigarette.
That happened to me once.
I was a kid, and I reached for a Coke can I thought was mine,
and I chugged it, and it had been like someone's ashtray for like a week.
Oh, gosh.
Whoa.
That's unfortunate.
Now, you know I'm a fan of the lip bite i've mentioned that as it pertains to alicia silverstone
in clueless um by the way flo was watching uh clueless on the plane she had never seen
get out of here there you go donald um big ups did she like it well i wasn't watching with her
but i saw her laughing and i and we and we were talking about some of your finest moments.
But speaking of Alicia Silverstone and lip bites,
Amy Smart does an epic lip bite at 350.
I don't know if you caught that.
It's kind of what kicks everything off.
I'm trying to be respectful at the funeral,
and she does like a big old classic Alicia Silverstone lip bite.
And then you guys crash into the wall.
And then it hard cuts to banging in the closet.
Yes.
Do you think anyone's ever had sex
during a funeral?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Really?
Absolutely, yes.
Why?
Because like emotions are high?
No, because people, yo, people, listen, man.
Some people aren't who they say they are also.
What?
Now, let's keep it 100.
And some people are who they say they are.
I'm saying there are people that have been at the funeral and have buried their spouse at that moment and was having sex within five seconds of the spouse at the funeral.
I don't think this is something that has never happened before.
I'm sure this has happened several times.
I don't think this is statistically.
I'm sure this is something that has happened often.
Well, if you're someone who knows of sex at a funeral,
please write us on our social medias or email Joelle
because we would love to have you on the show.
We don't want any liars,
so it's the honor system,
but we would love
to hear the tale
of how you banged
at a funeral.
By the way,
one of my favorite lines
in Scrubs history,
and I know Bill
loves this line.
Oh my God,
no we don't.
I don't want to hear
the tale of how someone
banged at a funeral.
I do.
I do.
Oh my God,
you guys are crazy.
I do.
I want to hear
all the gossip of Michael Loma in this episode who's sliding all around the hospital.
Right all over the place.
Oh, my God.
Nurse Roberts is so funny in this episode.
Anytime there's gossip, she rolls up in her chair and they speed it up.
So she's like.
I just wanted to say that I always love this line.
And I know Bill loves this line because we've quoted it to each other.
When I go a little bit Woody-ish, Jamie, there are a lot of ways to grieve.
But last time I checked, wheelbarrow style wasn't one of them.
Which means that not only we didn't have like – we didn't even have just like standing up against the wall sex.
We got to like wheelbarrow style.
You guys had dirty sex.
You guys, in the closet at the funeral, you guys were doing freaking tricks.
Can you imagine?
We were like, we weren't just like, oh, let's have a quickie against the wall.
We were like, okay, now let's do wheelbarrow style.
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
This is a girl in a handstand.
Like it just gets out of control.
It just gets out of control like freaking Team America.
Like, it starts off and you're like, oh, the puppets are having sex.
And then they start doing weird poses.
That's a bit.
And then he sits on the puppet.
Like, and the puppet sits on the other puppet.
Oh, my God.
I've got to watch that movie again.
But I do remember when the puppets shit on each other.
I thought it was the funniest thing I've ever seen.
But I think
Joelle, are you asking what wheelbarrow style
is? Listen, because when you
when I saw your hand motion, which was essentially
like a wheelbarrow race, like you've got her
by the hips. I think I'm
holding, yeah, I think I'm holding
she, I think, as I understand
wheelbarrow style, is
the receiver of the wheelbarrow
style has their hands.
No, Dan's getting it.
I'll do it for you.
You've got your hands like on a desk like this, like I have.
And then the person who's giving the wheelbarrow would be holding up the legs maybe by the
thighs.
So they're kind of in a plank.
The person receiving is sort of in a plank position, Joelle.
This is like so much more impressive because you guys were doing it in a closet.
Yeah, at the funeral home.
During her husband's funeral.
Yeah, during her husband's funeral.
Wow.
With mops and all types of things.
Jamie, there's a lot of ways to grieve, but I'm pretty sure that wheelbarrow style isn't one of them.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
Oh, man.
Okay, so then, dude.
The janitor's penis.
How the hell?
How the hell does that?
What luck JD has that in the middle of driving home,
he realizes, oh, shit, I got a piss.
Why didn't I take the pee before I left?
But the luck of him running up to a house,
and it being the janitor's house,
and not only the janitor's house, but the janitor's bathroom window where he's showering.
Yeah, it's a little bit of a coincidence, but we got to take a break.
We'll be right back to talk about the janitor's penis.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to
shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Hey, good people. This is Laia.
Now, for years, we have celebrated Women's History Month at QLS
with a month of very special programming.
This year, we have three Grammy Award-winning ladies,
Brittany Howard, Corinne Bailey Ray, and Lettucey. All three
of these artists make music and
write songs that fit many genres
and each will be discussing new
songs and albums.
We also have the incomparable,
incredible Queen of Dance, Fatima
Robinson, who has won
NAACP Image Awards,
choreographed the Oscars, the Grammys,
your favorite Gap ad, and Super Bowls.
You know her from her work with Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and of course, Aaliyah, and most recently, The Color Purple.
Celebrate women's history with us at Questlove Supreme every week in March.
Listen to QLS on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,
which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.
The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture.
You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.
The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines.
Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart,
and we're back with a new season of my podcast.
This season will be even more revealing and more personal
with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers,
more live events, more Martha,
and more questions from you.
I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin,
about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five
basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence
Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two
of the Martha Stewart podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back!
So, we know a couple things.
It's safe to assume that the janitor has a very large penis.
Yeah, the head movement that JD makes, you know how to insinuate that it's long. He does the old tilt the head to insinuate that it's long.
Right.
Now, we know that he sees a potentially dangerous melanoma on the janitor's penis.
But, of course, it's, of course, a TV show.
The odds that J.D. has to pull over and take a piss outside the janitor's bathroom window. We'll allow that to happen.
We'll go with the, what's that word I'm thinking of?
Suspend our disbelief.
Creative license?
Say we'll suspend our disbelief or whatever.
Yes, but isn't that the term creative license?
Isn't that a term too?
Sure.
Okay.
Anyway, so we'll allow that.
Suspension of disbelief is probably a better way to say it.
And it works for the joke later on where JD has to explain to him how he saw his penis.
Oh, my God.
That dialogue is so funny.
I think it's on Scrubs Wiki.
Let me just try and read it to you because the wording is so funny.
I go, I got to be straight with you.
I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
He says, when did you see my penis?
I say, last night when you were showering.
He says, where were you?
I say, I was outside in the bushes.
And he goes, and I go, look, it was a coincidence, man.
I mean, if you'd looked out the window, you'd have seen my penis, you know?
And he goes, what?
Why? And he goes, and I go, because I had it out the window, you'd have seen my penis, you know? And he goes, what? Why?
And he goes, because I had it out while I was looking at yours.
Oh, my God.
That's so funny.
So funny.
So, but we have a nice, it leads to a nice moment.
Of course, one of the greatest jokes in Scrubs history.
Don't worry, it's benign.
And he goes, benign, benign and a half.
I don't know who wrote that joke in the Scrubs writers room, but I'm very proud of them.
But actually becomes a nice moment with the janitor.
It feels like it's the first moment where he genuinely thanks me.
Yeah, sure. And then I thank
him and he goes, get your hand off me.
Then it's back to normal.
Yeah. Turk
smacks Elliot on the ass.
Now, I have a question about that. That's clearly
a Turk fantasy.
Do other characters
often have fantasies besides
JD? Yeah, it happens.
We've had this conversation before.
Yeah.
It's not often, but it's occasional.
Occasionally, one of the other cast members will fantasize something else.
So you're still, Turk is still fucking horny for Elliot.
Dude, have you ever had a sex dream about anyone?
Of course, but I'm saying that it wasn't like...
And then after you had the sex dream about said person, what happened?
I thought about them the next day, and that's clearly what's happened with Turk.
He's staring at Elliot longingly, and then he fantasizes that she's bending over.
And Sarah...
By the way, Sarah really leaned into the naughtiest in this.
I mean, I feel like Sarah Chalk, the actress, often plays like the goody two-shoes girl.
And now in this, they were like, we need you to just be randy and crazy.
And she was like, okay, because she's like bending over and putting her butt in the air.
See, this whole episode is like a temptation by the dark side, man.
It's like, even the conversations that we're having right now about the episode, everything is turning towards, you know, things that we're trying to not talk about.
And I think we need to just let it aside and say this is the episode that we talk about the shit.
Because what you just said, look, I don't want to combat what I think that Turk definitely still after the day was over and had gone on into being married to Carla, there were times where he was like, let me go to the mental Rolodex.
And there was that time where I fantasized about Elliot, you know what I mean, on times when him and Carla aren't on the same page.
You know what I mean?
I definitely feel like, you know, I feel like that's what fantasies are for.
I feel like that's what fantasies are for. I feel like that's what's supposed to happen.
But would you get jealous?
Like if Casey told you, oh, my God, babe, I had this incredible sex dream about some celebrity, would you be jealous?
Yeah, absolutely.
But I would think she would be jealous about me having sex dreams about someone.
Right.
Like that's the thing, man.
This whole episode, it's like the fact that Turk decided to tell elliot about the dream that's crossing the line right there you're supposed to keep that to
yourself man right you're not supposed to go on into that you know and especially the person i
mean who would ever tell the person you told the person and then and then told her to keep it a
secret like and don't tell carla yeah like come on man what do you what do you what are you trying
to get out of this?
What is it that you're going for?
I think if the person isn't threatening, it's one thing.
If your girlfriend was like, I had a sex dream about someone, and it was kind of funny, and it wasn't someone that you would necessarily feel jealous of or something, it would be one thing.
I'd be jealous of anyone.
I'd be jealous.
I think I'd be jealous of anyone, though.
Well, actually, Carla has a sex dream about Sam Lloyd.
And I don't think she would tell Turk because Turk would definitely be like, wait a second, you have feelings for Sam?
The lawyer?
I mean, for the lawyer?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So keep it to yourself. That's the message we're telling you here at Fake Doctors.
If you dream about having a sex dream with someone that isn't your partner, maybe just keep it to yourself.
Right.
Now, if you don't have a partner and you're trying to start something,
go for yours, man.
Shoot.
I don't know if that's a good pickup line.
Like, hey, I had a sex dream about you.
Some people want to hear that shit.
I know, but it might be taken.
I'm going to be honest with you.
Okay, let me just say this.
And this is why I disagree with what you just said.
Okay, let me just say this, and this is why I disagree with what you just said.
If I was a single man and let's say impossible, but if I was a single man and Casey's first thing she ever said to me when we met was,
I had a sex dream about you last night.
That shit would work on me in a hard way.
Of course.
So then what are you talking about?
Nobody wants to hear that shit. I think, I don't know.
Maybe it's different coming from a woman.
I just feel like if a man's pickup line to a woman was,
you know, I had a sex dream.
I mean, it'd be like creepy.
It depends on who the woman is.
It depends on who the man is.
Yes.
Who's the man?
There it is.
That too.
There we go.
And how and when and how far into our relationship.
A lot of factors.
A good one.
I know.
It just feels like it really has the potential to step into inappropriate territory unless
you have a good relationship and you're close and you can, yeah.
Or if you just want to shoot your shot.
I just think it's a bad, if you want to shoot your shot, I think it's a bad shot to take.
I think it's a horrible fucking.
Some people don't have filters and are like, I'm going to shoot my shot.
I know exactly what to say.
Good luck with that one.
Just be prepared to accept the rejection.
Yeah.
And also be prepared to hear from human resources.
Hold on.
Okay.
But now.
Okay.
So now.
Right.
Well, that's at work.
We're talking about
at work and stuff like that.
Well, I'm just talking
about in life.
I think it's a pretty
stupid shot to take
if that's your shot.
Now, let's say
you guys are grooving
and you smooch a little
and then you're like,
hey, can I tell you
something kind of embarrassing
but since we're kissing,
I've had the craziest
dream about you.
Like, that's different.
You know?
Agreed.
No. What are you smiling at? I disagree. I different agreed I disagree I think that's a horrible shot to take
dude I didn't say it was
the right shot I just said unless you want to
shoot your shot and this is your
steez I don't think it's wrong
to
to ask somebody out
on a date or to express your feelings
to someone.
I would never say yes to that. But there's definitely a way to do it that will get the attention that you are looking for.
And there's a way to get the attention that you're not looking for.
And I feel like, I feel like go for yours, period.
I don't know how to dismount this conversation.
I don't know how either, man.
Let's talk about the Germans.
Let's talk about the Germans.
There's a lot of, I mean, probably the gif I see most throughout the creation of gifs is the 99 Luftballons dance with me and the German.
Yes.
Now, people love that, 99 Luftballons.
You know why I love that song?
I love that song because John Forte made the remake.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. John Forte made the remake.
Me and my band.
We flip the dough with the money we got.
The block stays hot.
And something's out there.
Yo, that shit is fire, man. Good sample fodder. I remember that. Yeah, that shit is fire, man. Good sample fodder.
I remember that.
Yeah, that was, dude, well, it was back in the day when everybody was sampling something.
And John Forte had that.
That's my introduction to that song.
I didn't know that song before that.
Well, this is the German version.
Now, there's some really funny stuff.
Now, obviously, if you watch the show, you know that Sarah speaks German very
well. And there's some very funny stuff about these two actors on Scrubs Wiki. It says,
viewers fluent in German have noted that Sarah Chalk actually speaks much better German in the
episode than the German characters. And then they say neither of the actors playing the mueller uh or muller whatever
his brothers actually spoke german a soren hellerup is danish and while ingo newhouse has a german name
and was born in germany he grew up in america both mostly deliver their lines phonetically with
multiple grammatical errors so i thought that was funny that Sarah who speaks German really well I don't know why the hell they couldn't find
two guys who were fluent in German
in Hollywood but I guess they couldn't
and Sarah's German is way better
than the two actors so do you think that's funny
it would be
even funnier is if the two
guys pulled one over
on the
casting directors and pretended that they were speaking
German in the audition and they got the point.
Right, or just said they speak German.
And then when they got there and they're doing this shit
and neither one of them is reacting,
they're like, there's a moment where it's like,
oh, we're on the same. It's like when I told you I took
all of those dance classes last week.
I mean, last episode, I only took like
two or three dance classes
and that was enough to put it on my resume. So I imagine those last episode, I only took like two or three dance classes, and that was enough to put it on my resume.
So I imagine those guys like, I'm fluent in German, and really all they could speak were a few.
Actors always do that.
They're like, can you ride horseback well?
And they're like, sure.
Sure.
I have been on a horse.
Right.
The real answer is, did I get the job?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Can you ride a horse? did I get the job? Yeah. You know what I mean? Can you ride a horse? Did I get the job?
It's so hard to get a job as an actor when someone's like, okay, great audition.
You do speak German fluently, right?
Absolutely.
Sure I do.
Absolutely.
Because you're like, we'll worry about that later.
We'll worry about that horseback riding later.
Yeah, we'll get to that part.
That's when you call your friend up right away.
All right, I need you to teach me everything you know about German.
Everything you know. I remember when I was a kid, right away. Alright, I need you to teach me everything you know about German. Everything you know.
I remember when I was a kid, I was up for a part as a kid and it was to be on a hockey
team and they were like, you play hockey, right?
And I'm like,
yes, I do.
I love hockey.
I love all the positions.
Yeah, so anyway, I just think it's funny that of all the actors in Hollywood, they found two guys.
Now, we wouldn't know, of course, unless you speak German.
Another funny thing about this is Scrubs was very popular in Germany.
So they had to figure out, well, if all the actors in the show are dubbed in German, in Germany, what do you do with this bilingual moment?
So it says that in the German translation of the episode, the Germans are Danes and Elliot speaks Danish.
Oh, wait.
So hold on then.
No, no.
It's just how they dubbed it.
Because in Germany, I believe they dub.
They don't subtitle.
So the point is that, okay, so in the German version, everyone's German.
So you can't have a bit with the guy not speaking the language everyone's speaking.
So they just dubbed that section as Danish.
They should have dubbed it as American.
That would have been funny.
Yeah, I guess.
Kudda, kudda, kudda, kudda, kudda, kudda, kudda, kudda, kudda. And on that note, y'all
We're gonna go to break
We got someone coming in
We don't know who it is, but they're coming in
Hold on, let's hope this guest is better, Joelle
I mean, it was a horrible, horrible, horrible
It was not good, I agree
Dude, hold on, guys
Guys, let's not say horrible, horrible
Let's just say Not the usual fake doctor, real friend type of guest.
Well, you know, I saw a lot of our listeners' comments, and I really agree.
They were like, that was cringe.
Yes.
What's wrong with that woman?
Guys, no.
See, but that's bullying, man.
There's nothing wrong with that woman.
She's got her own life, yo.
She was doing her thing.
I'm not bullying her, but she took a slot from someone who's campaigning we had that one guy on he writes
every day and she took a slot and something she wasn't interested in i'm just saying i don't think
it was horrible i just think it was not the fake doctor's real friend call that we're used to i
don't like it when our guests are cringy. I mean, there was talk for a second about, should we just cut it out?
But I wanted to just
leave it so that people know
that we don't really like, even when
things don't work, we want to just show
it. But we could have just cut it out. It was so
cringe. It was not great. Joelle, did you
slam the mug on the ground? I did. It's
shattered in a million pieces. Okay, good.
Good, thank you. Send her the pieces. Speaking
of mugs, holy cow. Oh, yeah. A lot of merch.
A lot of merch coming. New merch up, y'all.
Alright, so check it out. Oh, wait.
The merch is up, by the way.
By the time this airs, there'll be a
t-shirt up. Masks are back.
Yeah. Mugs are
restocked. Mugs are restocked.
T-shirts are
in the house.
Now, I want you guys to know,
I know we promised a lot of wacky ideas for merch,
and some of that's coming.
Washcloths, beach towels with me and Don's faces on it are coming.
But just to kind of get the store up and running,
we've just got some standard stuff.
The T-shirt you'll see is our logo.
But I don't want you saying, like,
oh, but what about all the wacky stuff you promised?
In time, we've got to open up the store. I don't know about the like, oh, but what about all the wacky stuff you promised? In time. We got to open up the store.
I don't know about the I Doc Leo t-shirt.
Probably won't clear legal.
But unless we just do the Leo astrological sign and only the insiders will know.
And know also this.
What if we did?
Wait, wait, Donald.
What if we did?
As I was saying this, that is nuts.
And that is subliminal.
Subliminal.
You added an extra syllable there.
I'm worried.
That is subliminal.
Yes.
Subliminable.
I like subliminable.
I like subliminable.
Subliminable.
Subliminable.
I like subliminable better.
That sounds like Mush Mouth.
Mush Mouth.
No, because it would be subliminable.
I can't do it.
Subliminable. I like it. Let me just No, because it would be subliminal. I can't do it. Subliminal.
I like it.
Let me just finish what the shirt would be.
It would be the word.
It would say I, apostrophe D, I'd.
Then there'd be the icon of like a dock, like a traditional dock on a lake.
And then the Leo astrological star.
I'd dock Leo.
Nah, man.
I don't want to do that.
I don't want to do that at all.
I would like to do that. I don't want to do that.
But I will say this. I will say this. I'm going to make a one-off for me. I will dog Leo. Nah, man. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that at all. I would like to do that. I don't want to do that. But I will say this.
I will say this.
I'm going to make a one-off for me.
I will say this.
Speaking of one-offs, I will say this.
We're not going to make a bunch of these things now.
So a lot of this stuff is limited.
We're going to try and come up with-
You're saying get it while it's hot is what you're saying.
Get it while it's hot.
We're going to try and come out with new things like it's a season.
So this season's mug might not be next season's mug.
And this season's mask might not be next season's mask.
Yeah, I'll tell you what next season's mug is.
Daniel and Joel.
Hey.
I love that.
I love it.
I love that.
Yeah.
But you guys got to do the same pose that we're doing.
Yeah, you guys got to snuggle on.
You're going to have to wear masks or something or Photoshop.
No problem.
I'm plugging that bear.
No problem.
I love you.
Oh, guys.
Thank you so much.
I can't wait to hang out.
You guys realize when the apocalypse is over, we're going to all be able to be in a studio
together doing this.
It'll be so much more fun.
I've never had a video of the first time we meet.
Like a camera down.
Oh, my gosh.
I can't wait.
You know what I'm excited about?
The studio to be stacked with, like, Kit Kats and, you know.
We do have the best snacks.
You don't even know we have some.
I'm trying to get this fish and chips off my hips.
Yeah, no doubt.
But when you go to the studio to record, that's where all the good snacks are, y'all.
Donald, don't you fret at all.
Our studio, oh my gosh.
That was a place.
It was guaranteed stocked.
One of my British friends said to me,
you know, Zach, just because you're here,
it doesn't mean that you have to have fish and chips for every meal.
Oh, did you eat like that?
And I said, why would I eat something that's not fish and chips?
I was in New York.
I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese every single morning because it was like, why am I not going to do that?
Why am I not?
Why am I not?
And we don't have fish and chips on every corner here in Los Angeles.
All right.
We're going to go to break and we're going to come back with a caller that is going to blow your fucking mind.
They're so good.
Oh, God.
Oh, wow.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's
number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Hey, good people. This is Laia. Now, for years, we have celebrated Women's History Month at QLS
with a month of very special programming. This year, we have three Grammy Award-winning ladies,
Brittany Howard, Corinne Bailey Ray, and Lettucey.
All three of these artists make music and write songs that fit many genres,
and each will be discussing new songs and albums.
We also have the incomparable, incredible Queen of Dance, Fatima Robinson,
who has won NAACP Image Awards, choreographed the Oscars, the Grammys,
your favorite Gap ad, and Super Bowls.
You know her from her work with Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and of course, Aaliyah.
And most recently, the color purple.
Celebrate women's history with us at Questlove Supreme every week in March.
Listen to QLS on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,
which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.
The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture.
You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports,
and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.
The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else,
like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines.
Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will
be even more revealing and more personal, with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you.
I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion
dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans.
Florence Fabricant about the authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
about The Mandalorian and stuff like that.
I'm going to tell you guys something right now.
The Mandalorian is good, and I'm really excited about it,
but there's one show that I'm equally excited about,
and that is Cobra Kai Season 3, dude.
I'm telling y'all right now, man. Y'all can sit here and say what you want to say,
but me and the millions of people that are enjoying this little tiny show
that is a little bit nostalgic and makes you feel like you're watching
The Karate Kid all over again, little tiny show that is a little bit nostalgic and makes you feel like you're watching uh the
karate kid all over again cobra kai is so much fun this is my second recommendation of the episode
do they keep cutting back to the original movies there's a bit of the original movies in this
there's a lot of the original movie in this but it takes place however many years to, you know, when Danny
won the California Karate Championship, it takes place however many years it is to now,
it takes place to then.
And it doesn't follow Daniel LaRusso, really.
It follows Johnny.
Ralph Montiel's not in it.
He's in it.
But he's like the bad guy, dude.
He's like the dick.
What about Pat?
Wait, is Pat Morita alive?
No, Pat Morita passed away.
Oh, I didn't know that.
And what about other characters?
So Johnny is in it.
Elizabeth Shue.
I asked about that last time.
They teased that she might be in the next season.
I don't know why she wouldn't do it.
But look, I'm telling you right now, man.
It's about Johnny and him trying to restart Cobra Kai.
And it is fucking so much fun.
It's got just the right amount of cheese, just the right amount of nostalgia, just the
right amount of comedy that you sit there and you laugh and enjoy yourself.
So if you are a Karate Kid fan, the original Karate Kid fan, and it's executive produced
by Will Smith.
So how can you hate on it, y'all? Will Smith's involved.
Oh, by the way, I heard they're doing
a Will, they're gonna do a Foresh Prince Bel-Air
reunion, and he
and the aunt that hate each other, they made
up. That's great.
But look, if you are... I love how Donald
wants to comment on that. Last time that came
up, do you remember, Joel? I have no idea what you're
talking about, but if you are a fan, if you are a fan of the Karate Kid.
It's like on Howard Stern whenever –
Cobra Kai.
No mercy.
Mercy is for the weak.
It's like on Howard Stern whenever mobsters come up and like talking about mobsters, he always changes the subject.
He's like, I don't know anything about that, changing the subject.
And that's how Donald is about the Will Smith –
Mercy is for the weak.
Aunt what's- her name, conflict.
Should I let the guest in?
Yes, please.
Thank you.
Johnny Lawrence.
Oh, my goodness.
Speaking of Johnny.
Daniel LaRusso.
Leave it, John.
All right, here we go.
Here we go, Joelle.
Big John.
John Broadbent, how are you, sir?
Hi!
Big John!
Oh my God.
Hi, John.
Hi, John.
How are you, sir?
Good, good, very good.
How are you guys?
Welcome to the program.
We're very happy to have you.
Thanks so much for having me.
Tell us about yourself.
Where are you?
What do you do?
What's life like being John Broadbent?
I'm in a town called Nelson in New Zealand.
Whoa.
Home of Lord of the Rings.
Actually, home of the one ring that was made here.
Amen.
And I...
But that was the ring to rule them all.
So, you know, hey.
Definitely.
There's actually like a
shop in town where you can go check it out and
buy a copy of it if you want.
Really? Yeah, it's awesome.
And yeah,
I just
love watching your show.
We love listening to the podcast.
This is exciting.
We've never had a New Zealand
caller. What time is it there?
It's probably Wednesday at some,
what time on Wednesday is it?
Correct.
Wednesday at nine o'clock in the morning.
Wow.
Okay.
Holy cow.
Yeah.
So sorry,
I'm not drinking.
I've got to go to work after this.
No,
well,
we're not drinking today either.
Zach isn't drinking today.
I'm not drinking today.
No,
I was not drinking.
It's probably best if we,
if we don't drink,
we, we've decided't drink, we,
uh,
we've decided that we're going to take a little break from the drinking on
the podcast.
Yeah.
It's,
uh,
they were,
they involved too much editing when we drink.
John,
what's John,
John,
what's tomorrow?
Like what's tomorrow?
I wish,
I wish I could tell you the lot of numbers.
Um,
oh man.
And I wish you could tell you the sky would clear for you guys.
I'm really worried about that.
I hope everything works out.
We appreciate that.
Thank you.
Well, you guys experienced that too, didn't you,
when the fires were happening in Australia?
Didn't New Zealand get some of that too?
Good call.
Actually, three years ago, two years ago, my whole town was on fire.
Holy shit.
It was a bit scary for a bit.
Yeah.
I didn't know that, a bit of trivia,
that when a horrible fire was happening in Australia, that it was happening in scary for a bit. Yeah. I didn't know that a bit of trivia that when a horrible fire is
wrapping in Australia,
that it was happening in New Zealand as well.
Yeah.
I was,
I was,
yeah,
it was a pretty long story.
The,
the end result though was one fire was started by a farmer,
but there's like some copycat annoying person,
let some other ones.
And he was caught eventually,
but he was caught by some nudists at a nudist camp
they probably wheelbarrowed him to the ground
definitely that's a good it's not only a good way to have sex it's a good way to tackle someone
noted oh yeah write that down in your notes there
um i don't want anyone who's listening to this to think that we don't teach you things you can you can wheelbarrow in multiple situations we've already we've already fixed john's
life yeah we didn't even have to yeah john when all else fails we'll borrow it um john what do
you do down there in new zealand um full-time i'm sort of a uh it guy slash PA slash airman for a realtor.
On the side, I make t-shirts.
I actually,
inspired by the podcast and you guys going on about
WAP, I thought of a design.
Oh, I hope it's
the one I just mentioned.
Can you see that?
Cat, donkey,
Oh, wait, long way around.
No, you're right. Oh, wet-ass pussy! Cat Donkey Oh wait Long way around No No Oh yeah
Wet ass
Oh wet ass pussy
That's great
We'd love that
That's a wet ass
Wait hold it up
Hold it up John
So just for you
Listening at home
It's an icon
Of some water droplets
An icon
Of a donkey
Or ass
And an icon
Of a cat
I would love To have one of those If you want to send it to my way.
I will.
I haven't printed one yet, but you can have the first one.
We listen to that song a lot in my house.
It really gets us going.
You know what my part is?
You know what my part in that song is?
I want to choke.
I want you to touch that dangling thing in the back of my throat.
That shit gets me every time.
I laugh so hard every time. I laugh so hard every time.
I laugh so hard every time.
I want to choke. I want you to touch
that dangling thing in the back of my throat.
Do you think she wrote that?
Did she write this?
I hope she did. Oh, please, God,
make her have written that.
When you look at the WAP writers, are there like 400 people?
I'd like to think that she wrote the lyrics.
I've never looked at the WAP who wrote WAP.
I hope it just says...
Dan and Joelle, find out for us.
I want to know how many writers are on the WAP
because
those lyrics are... That line doesn't get you every time?
It's hilarious. It's hilarious
as you say, but I really
want to think that she wrote it.
She wants you to touch that
dangling thing in the back of her throat.
I know what it's called.
Do you?
I'm a fake doctor.
From now on, it's called the dangling thing.
It's called the uvula.
I want to choke.
I want you to touch that dangling thing in the back of my throat.
Uvula.
Now, Waston, John, I'm glad you just came on because I have an idea for a T-shirt that
we can't really mass market.
Okay, I'm glad you just came on because I have an idea for a T-shirt that we can't really mass market. Okay, I'm taking notes.
Yeah, I think it should say I apostrophe D, I'd, and then an icon like you've done on yours of a dock.
Okay.
And then the Leo astrological sign.
Okay.
So just like yours, yours is perfect, but with those three things instead of yours.
I'll do that next. That is genius.
And if you send those to me and Donald, we will make sure that your t-shirt Instagram is fully promoted.
Much appreciated. I'll definitely do that one next.
Make sure you make an XXL for Donald because he's a large man.
I don't mean fat, Donald. mean muscular you have i'm not i'm
not i'm not worried about how you perceive my body to look no you have broad shoulders you're a large
man you need an xxl however you want to look at it you could give me a triple x if you got it too
i'll sleep in it how about that it's hard sizing john i I'm sleeping it. I'm sleeping it. John, do you find – what?
Have you ever – are you getting mad at me?
Yeah, because I'm trying to fucking talk to John about my iDocLeo T-shirt.
Okay, go ahead.
Get your iDocLeo T-shirt conversation finished.
John, don't you find that sizing T-shirts is very hard because no one thinks they're the size they are. When I made a wish I was here merch through the Kickstarter
thing we did, I, it was a nightmare because I, I don't, I didn't know that doing merch was so hard.
Eventually we hired a company to help us, but people don't think they're the size they are.
And then you send a shirt to New Zealand and it takes fucking a month and they get it. And they're
like, what the fuck is this? This isn't a women's
petite small.
And you're like, I don't know your fucking size, bro.
Yes.
Very, very hard.
I used to sell them at the Saturday market
we have here in town and I'd have a lot of people
ask if they can try them on and I'm like,
yeah, sure.
Probably couldn't do that now.
Them days is over um forever yeah you probably can't ever try clothes on again no you can try clothes that's
bullshit man get out of here try clothes on maybe in 2024 but who's gonna fucking let you go try uh
no one wants you to go in the store no no and put your fucking covid all over the shirt
and they're like sorry i need a petite and then you fucking no that shit's over anyway i don't i
i can't i can't imagine that happening anyways i hit a songwriters okay belk belcalis al manzar
that's megan p oh that's her real name? Yeah. And then Megan P. Val Collins.
Val Collins Almanazar is Cardi B's real name.
Megan P., I'm assuming, is Megan.
And then James Foy III, Austin Owens, and Frank Rodriguez.
So we don't know if James Foy III came up with the hit the uvula joke.
No, that's not what she says.
She says, I want to choke.
I want you to touch that dangling thing in the back of my throat.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
It's the lyrics.
It's such poetry.
You know, the 17th century had Shakespeare.
We got that.
I crack up with the Mack truck part as well.
Yes.
Joelle goes, yes.
It's hilarious.
Like with the noise and everything?
Yeah, it's a great song.
If we were allowed to play music for you here,
we would play it.
But all we have is Donald singing it.
That's all we're allowed to do.
Donald, if you cover it, like fully cover it,
and Dan can help you with the link.
Somebody did cover it.
They did an 80s version of
the wop song and it is so dope dude it's it's tight dude it's like oh i wish we were allowed
to play that yeah i mean maybe we can maybe we can if we contact the person and it's and it's a
cover maybe we can i don't know well i don't know if we have enough time. Okay. So, sorry, let's focus.
John, so far you're beating our last guest by far,
but that was not a hard feat to achieve.
He's excited.
Look how excited he got.
I want the audience to know that we actually have a guest
that seems pleased to be on the show, which is very exciting.
Do you have a question for us related to anything?
Well, let us segue from music.
I have a question for you, Zach,
and don't worry, don't worry, I'll get one for you afterwards.
Zach, if you were to write a musical,
what would it be about,
and how would you incorporate a stunt involving a zipline?
Oh, my God.
Everyone's now making fun of me for loving the zipline episode.
Jesus.
I do love a good zipline joke.
I don't know if you know that I directed that episode, John.
No way.
Yeah, true story.
First one,
and very tricky to direct yourself sliding down a zipline,
but I managed to do it.
You know, I'm just going to say the first thing
that comes to my mind
because someone asked,
I think it was Josh Charles, the actor,
who put on Twitter, like,
what's a great movie that should be a musical?
Because, of course, now they're making,
well, theater's entirely on pause for the moment,
but everyone's making movies into theater.
And because it was Josh Charles who said it,
my brain instantly went to Dead Poets Society,
which I thought would be a,
which is a movie I really, really love. And it's, it's, it's probably one of my favorite movies.
And I thought, wow, that would be really conducive to be a musical. Now that's not really an original idea, but since you asked me and I just put on Twitter, I replied to Josh Charles that that
should be. And then I got a lot of attention because people were like, yeah, fuck yeah, that's a good idea.
So there, there's my answer.
If it were up to me, if
I could do a musical,
making
one up is too hard. That's like a
conundrum, dude. That's like, that's one of
those things where you, it
takes forever to write music, to write
a story, to write
all of that stuff takes forever so i but if
i could make a musical out of a movie it would definitely be the princess bride i think that
would be a funny uh musical i can't believe that's not in the i mean that's such like everybody's
favorite movie i can't believe it's probably got to be in the works right that would be amazing i
think that's uh and and and if you could somehow still keep that type of humor in the movie, I mean, in the musical as well, that would be great.
Without losing, you know, stop that rhyming, I mean it.
Anybody want a peanut?
If you could freaking still somehow keep that shit.
Where am I?
The pits of despair.
You know, I would love to hear a musical number about rodents of unusual
size I'm just saying
there we are now John next question
for Donald go
Star Wars question
you guys
transcend my two loves I love musicals
and I love Star Wars
it's our baby
it's our son
our son lives in New Zealand.
So when Disney bought Star Wars.
I bet you love weed too.
I tried some in Canada, but I don't.
Maybe you can't get weed in New Zealand.
I don't know.
It might be hard down there.
Yeah, we can.
They can get weed in New Zealand.
That shit's a weed.
It grows anywhere.
That's true.
When Disney bought Star Wars
and they declared
all of the expanded universe as non-canon,
what book
or comic series
or EU stuff
did you feel saddest for?
Oh, wow.
Joelle's on the verge of tears
um i was very happy that the
use of ong was out of the whole
uh thing i wasn't a fan
of that
i didn't like that i didn't like the fact
that something from
outside of the i like the stories
of the sith and the jedi
and this new
enemy that comes from out of nowhere and is you know resistant to the Sith and the Jedi and this new enemy that comes from out of nowhere
and is, you know,
resistant to the Force
and all of that stuff.
It just seemed like,
all right,
so we have this galaxy
that seems to have a balance.
Let's fuck up the galaxy.
How can we fuck it up?
Let's just throw
some impossible enemy at them.
And, you know what I mean?
And I thought that was a cop-out.
So I didn't like that.
The one stuff that I,
the things that I did like
were all of the stories about Han Solo's kids
and Leia's kids and Luke's kid.
And you know what I mean?
And even the stories of their grandchildren
and stuff like that
and their great, great grandchildren
and stuff like that.
All of that stuff was really cool stories to that made a lot of sense.
You know what I mean?
It made sense that Leia had twins and,
you know,
one turned to the dark side and,
you know,
one,
cause that's what you wanted for Luke and Leia to happen,
you know,
to happen to Luke and Leia.
One turns to the dark side and then the other one has to go kill their
brother. Like it's it's the next version of father and son or mother and
daughter and i i just liked i liked hearing about that lineage now that being said that does get a
little bit uh redundant after a while and nobody wants to hear about you know uh the skywalkers
and the solos forever and ever and ever.
You know what I mean?
All right.
Well, that sounds like you're a good boy.
Let me finish.
I'm not done.
I'm not done.
I'm not done.
Just wait a second.
So that being said, I like the old Republic stuff.
I think maybe that's the next direction that they should go.
I know they're doing this high order and all of that,
and Yoda's going to be in it.
I think that's the right way to go.
I think there's something special about seeing
a bunch of red lightsabers clash against green, blue, and purple.
There's something, if you could find a way to do Braveheart with Jedi.
Testify!
Yes!
Breach!
That'd be great.
I was worried.
All right.
That feels like you did a great job answering it, Donald.
I felt satisfied.
I'm sure everyone that loves Star Wars feels satisfied.
Joelle, for example, yelled testify.
Yes.
Now, John, it's time for everybody's favorite new segment, Fix Your Life.
As you well know from being a fan of the show,
Donald and I are pretty great, I think exceptional,
at fixing people's lives.
Your problem could be big or small.
We can handle it.
So, John, it's time to fix your life!
Okay, so I have actually a dog problem
Um, and she's in the room with me right now because she's so I see her. Yeah, jess. Just do you want to come up?
Say hi.
Hey, guys.
Oh, what a cutie.
She's sweet.
Precious.
She's beautiful.
Yeah, go ahead.
I can answer any dog question.
I'm a dog master.
So, yeah, she's eight years old, and she's part boxer.
We've moved down here five years ago from Auckland,
and in that time, she's been fine.
We've been able to leave her in the yard when we go to work and then just a month ago she decided to escape one day and just ran around the
neighborhood and it was very stressful it took us a whole day to find her um and she dug out under
our gate so we concreted that so she couldn't do it again but she still tries and so we don't trust
her at all on her own and i've been taking her to doggy daycare and just trying to see
what we can do we're gonna try her again on her own today but i'm just now john do you um do you
run her enough because i only know this from watching caesar milan which who i love if you
if you get a dog uh and you're new to owning dog, obviously you're not, but I'm talking to other people, watching like every episode of Caesar is a really good education because, you know, obviously it's edited to make him look like a god.
But it is helpful.
And I know that one thing he does – I remember an episode where a dog was constantly escaping and part of the problem was like the dog just wanted to sprint.
episode where a dog was constantly escaping and part of the problem was like the dog just wanted to sprint and you know he would do things like you know getting on rollerblades and running with
the dog or getting on a bicycle and sprinting alongside the dog but do you think the dog is
is getting enough are you exhausting the dog because a big dog like that needs to probably run
yep yeah um we actually take her to play at the park before work every morning and after work as well.
Well, then, you know, John, it really comes down to you having
to ask yourself, am I a good pet owner?
Yeah.
John, I need you to put yourself on the dog's head.
The dog wants to get away from you.
You're welcome, John.
We just fixed your life.
You're welcome.
Thank you, John.
You're welcome.
Thank you, John.
No, that's interesting.
I am not a dog whisperer, and I am not a vet,
and so I don't know what goes on in dogs' minds.
I will say I have a dog and, you know, I feel like dogs like to be disciplined.
And I don't mean with the hand or anything like that, but giving them chores to do.
It's not just about running them.
It's also about making them do things things and they enjoy doing that type of
stuff so uh you know what are you saying he should do like like errands around the house like like
mowing like i don't know do you do stay sit down roll over and and things like that i don't you
know those are things to occupy a dog's mind as well do Do you have a crate? No, so we tried to crate train her,
but she's a rescuer from,
we call it the SPCA here,
sort of like the pound, I guess.
Oh, well now this makes even more sense.
So it's not necessarily you,
maybe where she came from before.
Yeah.
You know, and this is just something psychological.
Yeah, yeah. i'm not sure but
have you tried i mean have you tried working with a trainer at all uh i had a lady sort of
try to give me advice i might need to get back in touch with her um all right we'll get back in
touch with the trainer john you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome donald say it you're
welcome well i i just i don't feel like I fixed his life.
I feel like I've put him on a path.
Yeah, we put him on a path.
We put him on a path.
We said watch Caesar because there is an episode about an escaping dog
and Caesar fixes that guy's problem.
You have three choices.
You can watch Caesar.
You can contact the dog trainer.
Yes.
Or you can take a good look at yourself.
Look at the man in the mirror.
Why are animals trying to run away from you, John?
What is it that you're doing that's making animals?
I'm asking you to look in the mirror.
I'm asking you to make a change.
No message could have been any clearer, John.
The dog is giving you the message.
She's trying to run to him.
Shimon! Shimon!
Shimon!
Shimon, John!
John, if you want to make yourself a better dog owner,
you've got to look at yourself and then make the change.
Woo!
Woo!
Make that change.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Make that change.
It's a great song.
All right, we've got to go, John. This has been awesome. You change. It's a great song. All right, we got to go, John.
This has been awesome.
You're going to get a mug.
It'll probably take four years to get there.
Oh, can I just quickly throw back to just one previous episode
where you talked about North African-American players in the NHL?
At the upcoming draft in October, there's a kid called Quinton Byfield
who's probably going to go second overall.
So that's another good.
But is he like the savior?
Is he the savior? Is he the savior?
Is he the great
black hype of hockey?
He's comparable
to a guy called Anthony Malkin
who plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Is he comparable to Wayne Gretzky?
That's the question.
Is he comparable
to Sidney Crosby?
These are the questions that i'm asking
because if he can if he's gonna change the sport like some of the white players have changed the
nba now we're talking but if it's just some black dude coming in because he's black and
the nhl needs black he's saying that he's gonna go second in the draft what the hell are you
talking about that's pretty high.
And he could be really good.
There are a lot of – I'm not trying to hate, and I hate when I hate
because hating is for suckers, and I do that a lot sometimes,
and we have to edit that shit out.
But I'm going to say this right now.
I'm going to say this right now.
There have been a lot of NBA players that went high in the draft
thinking that they were going to be some great savior and turned out to be a bust.
So just because this dude's going number two.
Is this Sam Boucher?
I'm not saying anything.
Just because this is just because dude's going number two doesn't mean he's
going to make it as an NHL player.
So that's great.
It's great that he's on his way, but we shall see.
John, I'm rooting for him.
I'm rooting for him to be wonderful.
Thank you so much for coming on the show.
And he's North American.
He's not African American, right?
He's like from Canada.
Yep, knew it.
Anyway.
Thank you.
I can't wait to get my WAP t-shirt.
I can't wait to get my iDoc video t-shirt.
And you're going to get a mug.
I don't know how long it takes to get things to New Zealand,
but look for it by the time you're 40 or 45.
I'll tell you what.
When you guys come to the World Tour and come down here,
just bring it then, and I'll take you on a little tour.
Oh, perfect.
We definitely got to do New Zealand when we go on the World Tour.
I would love to go to New Zealand.
I'll take you on a tour of all the Lord of the Rings locations.
Yay.
Well, I don't necessarily want to see the Lord of the Rings,
except I want to see, like, yo, is Word Life, the Maori people,
I want to, there's a bunch of history there that I'm fascinated by.
Oh, yeah.
So I would love to check that out.
All right.
Well, we're going to be on a tour bus with all four of our faces on the side.
It's going to be really, really exciting.
Awesome.
All right.
We got to go, John.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thanks again.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for John!
Peace, buddy.
Take care.
Bye, John.
Big John!
How refreshing to have a guest that was at least interested in talking to us.
Agreed.
Woo.
That's a lot of hate.
That's a lot of hate.
I like John.
He was good.
All right.
Well, we're almost done, but let's talk about Leslie Baker.
I was about to say, we had Stanley from The Office on the show.
Stanley from The Office, who I love and have put in the short film I made.
He was in Wish I Was Here.
I always think that guy's so funny.
And here he is.
This was before The Office.
Yes, it was.
Obviously, he wouldn't be doing the show if it wasn't before The Office.
And there he is.
And he has a cameo.
He only has one line in which he outs to Carla that you've been talking about having sex with Elliot during surgery.
Yep. Not me, but
Turk does.
This is my point. I think the audience knows how to
delineate between you and your character.
I'm just going to say, this is the point that I'm trying to make.
When you keep secrets,
but you keep secrets from your spouse
about sex,
they always find out.
Shit always comes out.
It always comes out. Your, shit always comes out. It always comes out.
So your best bet is to not tell anyone you had a sex fantasy.
Keep that shit to yourself.
Right.
And then you'll never be in this situation ever.
Yeah.
I laughed hard when Sam Lloyd at 1620 says something.
He goes, I just have that one dream
where I hold his head under the water
until the last bubble goes.
And then there's like a long pause
and he goes, bloop, bloop.
Talking about killing Kelso.
That's his only dream that he has recurrent.
And then Kelso walks by and says something.
Yeah, go get me something.
Right.
Yeah, I'm still waiting on that, whatever it is. Those Oreos or something. Yeah, go get me something. Right. Yeah, I'm still waiting on that, whatever it is.
It was Oreos or something.
Yeah, those Oreos.
Bloop.
And then I forgot that there was a Luftballons callback with Amy Smart and the parents dancing.
I totally forgot we did that.
That was funny.
I have a question.
Why didn't JD take her aside at the restaurant?
Why did he run up to the table with these two people there?
It's clear that she's there with these two people too yeah like the the shot is him running up to a table of her
and people yeah why not be like hey you know what can i talk to you for a second yeah and why would
he why would he do that why in front of anyone he talks about having sex at her husband's funeral
yeah like dick, moron,
they don't want to hear that shit.
It's probably the reason I'm assuming she's not back.
I think he ruined it.
Is she done? Does she have another one? I forgot.
I don't know, but she was so great on the episode.
She was so great in the show, yeah.
When she's on your back,
and he's like, I know you got
a tasty coma wipe on your mind.
You're like, no, I don't. And she jumps on your back
and he goes, yeah, you do.
And then you nudge her off and she goes flying off.
She's really funny.
I don't know why.
She's so funny.
She must be on a show.
I haven't seen her that much.
She is.
She's on Stargirl, actually, which is a Berlanti show.
Oh, there you go.
That's in the Arrowverse.
Got it.
She, believe it or not, plays a mother now of a teenage girl.
That's how far we've come.
That's how old we are.
Well, I'm not going to say old.
I'll say that's how far we've come.
I thought Amy did a great job on her arc.
I don't know if it's over, but I assume it's over.
She's still a very good actress, and she does great on the show.
I'm a fan of the show.
Yeah.
And then that baby at the end, I just have to say,
as someone who appreciates an adorable baby,
they cast that baby well.
Oh, all babies are cute.
That's not true.
No, no, no, no, no.
All babies are cute.
Even when they're born.
Look, man.
I can say I didn't know it was controversial to say
that some babies are cuter than
other babies.
This here's what's going to happen.
You're going to have a baby.
Yeah.
And I'm going to love it.
I'm not saying the parents don't think it's cute,
but I'm saying that there are some babies.
And you'll understand what I'm talking about.
I know that if it's my baby,
no matter what it looks like,
I'm going to think it's the cutest baby.
I'm just saying clearly they cast a particularly adorable baby to smile at
Johnny C and have him fall in love and have his eyes well at the end.
Oh, Joelle just told me that she is back for another one.
She's back for 221.
So I knew it.
And then we have – so we're getting close to being done with this season two, guys.
I got to tell you, we got three more left it looks like.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
So what happens then?
After we finish season two,
are we going to go right into season three
or are we going to take a break?
Well, we just took a break. Should we keep going?
It's up to you, man.
I don't want the fans to stop counting on us.
A lot of people rely on us
for their bi-weekly
smile. I agree with that.
I don't want to let anybody down.
That's the last thing I want to do too.
We're working on Ryan Reynolds.
I've had some top secret.
Yeah, I think we have a chance.
I think we have a chance.
Does he know I'm sorry?
I don't think he remembers,
but I hope that he will talk about it
if and when we get him on the show.
Oh my goodness. But I did speak he will talk about it if and when we get him on the show. Oh, my goodness.
But I did speak with him via email, and it's a work in progress.
Okay, we'll see what happens.
Noted.
You think I should reach out to him?
You think I should reach out to him?
No, I don't want you to fuck up any momentum I've made.
Okay.
You might get drunk and dry hump him over Zoom.
No, I'm not going to get drunk and dry hump anybody over Zoom.
Can you dry hump him?
I guess you could dry hump the camera.
Well, did you see the video of the dude in the middle of the meeting on Zoom?
And he thinks he blacks the camera out.
And so he switches over to his browser.
And you see him get up
walk to the bathroom
go get lotion and toilet paper
and sets the toilet paper
down and sets the lotion down
and they're all like no
no
and he goes
that's not real
that's gotta be a joke
dude I'm telling you
if that's not a joke
That's the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard in my life
And if it is a joke
Good kudos
Alright everybody
We love you, we're back
Yay
I'm back in LA, Daniel's back in LA
We're all together
Joelle and I never left L.A.
We've just been here chilling, staying safe.
Listen, L.A. gets a lot of shit out there, but I got to tell you, even when it's smoky, it's a beautiful place to live.
It's great to be back.
Yeah.
It is great to be back.
It's always great to come home.
You know what I mean?
I'm so happy that you guys made it home safely.
We did.
I'm so happy that it went well it home safely thanks so i'm so happy
that it went well daniel with uh her parents how did you meet how'd you meet hinge bumble oh hinge
yeah what's the um the catch of hinge what's the uh hook the hinge is facebook friends so everybody
you met match with or everybody that you see on Hinge, you have a Facebook friend in common. Just one Facebook friend.
You only need to have one.
And as a matter of fact, we did.
Oh. Alright.
More than one or just one? Hinge worked.
Just one. It did.
Donald, you missed this whole app dating
world.
I'm going to be honest with you.
It scares me just a little.
It was a scary process,
I'll tell you what.
Had several misfires.
Yeah, I was going to say,
the only thing that I find
a little different about it
is that you're dating somebody
that you don't really get to know.
What do you do?
You go on a fucking date.
What are you talking about?
Not on Craigslist.
You just don't have to go to a...
No one's dating on Craigslist. That's 2008 dating, Donald. Yeah, dude. That's the last time he went talking about not on Craigslist you just don't have to go to a no one's dating on Craigslist
that's 2008 dating Donald
yeah dude
that's the last time
he went on a date
is Craigslist time
Joelle are you using
any of the apps
to find love
not during quarantine
because that just seems
wild to me
but what about chat
you could chat
you could do your game
shoot your shot
listen I am a
in person dater
I suck at talking
what am I saying
what do I care I don't even am I saying? What do I care?
I don't even know I'm in person.
Like, I'm, no.
What if you went on Hinge or whatever one,
and you found someone who you thought was attractive,
who all they wanted to do was talk about Star Wars,
and loved a gummy at night?
You know, this person might be out there.
I'm sure the person is out there.
I would be terrible at talking to them over the app. It wouldn't be their fault. I have a question. It person is out there. I would be terrible at talking to them over the app.
It wouldn't be their fault.
I have a question.
It would be my fault.
I would be terrible at talking to them.
Well, if you're interested in Joelle,
if you're listening and you're interested in Joelle,
she's very pretty and very funny.
I have a question.
What?
Over apps, is it okay to be like,
I had a crazy sex dream about you?
Yes, you should.
Not recommended. Not recommended. Not recommended over about you. Not recommended.
Not recommended over apps either.
Not recommended.
So don't do it.
Well, you know, it'd be funny
if you do develop a profile.
I think we could blast out your profile eventually.
Oh my God.
And we could all talk about the encounters you're having.
That sounds like quite an event.
I'm going to keep sliding in the DMs,
but who knows?
Oh, that's how you do it.
Yeah.
You know, you follow people.
You see who they follow.
You get a rough idea of their thought opinions on the world.
And then you're just like, yo, we should hang.
So you'd be sliding into the people's DMs?
Yeah, DM slides.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, so if you are-
It's okay.
She's already in my DMs.
Mom ain't great today. Gotta be great.
Oh, my God.
Okay, so listen.
If you're a hot, smart, intelligent chick –
I destroyed my Instagram.
Hit up Joelle because she is a catch.
I think she's witty and smart and has a good job and very pretty.
I don't know what the hell's going on here.
I gotta record this.
Everybody, let's play.
Let's set up Joelle with her
dream person.
I love it.
And Donald and I will
officiate your wedding. Have you been talking to my
mother? Are you guys
planning things? Alright. We gotta it. Are you guys in cahoots? We're planning things.
All right.
We got to go.
We've been going long.
Oh, my God.
Joelle, I'm going to laugh my ass off when your freaking DMs open up with nothing but
I'll send you a link.
Because that shit's always hilarious.
Like, I'll post something, like my animation, and I'll look at what the fans say if they
like the animation and stuff like that. And every now
and then you get that one that says,
hi, or hello.
And in response to hi or hello, you have to actually
have a thought.
If you're a fan,
I don't have any desire to partner
with a fan. That weirds me out.
There's a weird power exchange there that I'm not comfortable with.
So don't try that.
Alright, listen. She's giving you tips. So comfortable with. So don't try that. All right.
Listen, she's giving you tips.
So be real.
Don't just say hi.
No hello.
Don't just say hi.
Don't just say hello.
Don't be like, you up.
Right.
None of that.
Yeah.
This is going to be fun.
I think this could be a new segment called Find Joelle a Lover.
No, it's Let's Make Joelle's Mama Happy to Find Joelle a Lover. No, it's Let's Make Joelle's Mama Happy and Find Joelle a Lover.
It's time for another edition of Let's Make Joelle's Mother Happy and Find Joelle a Lover.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's too much.
I'm excited.
This is fun.
I love being a, what do you call it?
Matchmaker?
A matchmaker.
I love being a matchmaker.
I set Donald up. Look how well that went. That did work out formaker. A matchmaker. I love being a matchmaker. I set Donald up.
Look how well that went. That did work out for him. I'm married.
I got kids.
We still don't got no air conditioning.
On that note, thank you
all for tuning in, and Donald, you may
count us in with the beautiful numbers that everybody
loves. 5, 6, 7, 8. Here's some stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved me.
I said here's some stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal
with more entrepreneurs,
more live events, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist,
Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Encore Jane about creating a billion
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the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s
She looked like a million bucks.
scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
It's just unbelievable.
Hide your money in your old rich man, because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own
stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political
battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy,
no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
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