Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 301: My Own American Girl with Sarah Chalke
Episode Date: September 29, 2020On this week's episode, Elliot decides to throw away childish things. In the real world, Chalke is back! The guys are still on a Pelaton kick and Sarah reveals how she pranked people with license plat...es. Season three baby!To register to vote go here: https://www.headcount.org/zachanddonald/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Why do you look so concerned? You have a furrowed brow.
Turn that furrowed brow upside down.
She was
an American girl
raised on promises.
Woo!
Fire.
Real talk. Yo.
So I don't know how we're going to cover all that I
have to say in this episode,
plus have the genius guest that we have, the one and only Sarah Chalk.
We have so much to cover.
Season three begins.
Right now.
Yes, season three.
Welcome, everybody.
Welcome to season three.
We made it to season three.
This is going so fast.
We're going to be done with this show too soon.
I know.
iHeart needs to re-up.
Well, no.
iHeart's clearly going to re-up.
I mean, I don't know where my fucking gift basket is,
but I think it's pretty clear they're going to re-up.
But I mean, you know, someone wrote me on my social media
that like, if you guys keep going at this rate,
you'll be done in this many weeks.
And I was like, oh shit, that's kind of fast.
Well, that's a great thing about what we're going to do when we're out of Scrubs episodes.
I think we could keep going with watching movies or like pick episodes of favorite TV shows or something.
I like that idea.
That sounds great.
I mean, what's going to happen, obviously, is eventually the world will reopen and we'll be going back to doing what we what we do for a living acting and directing and maybe
we'll slow down and do one a week instead of two a week i'm just speculating listen man anything's
possible that's the beauty of that's the beauty of this podcast it's called fake doctors real
friends it's not necessarily called the scrubs rewatch show yeah that's just smart that was
smart we could have called it the Scrubs Rewatch Show
and then it just would have been that.
Right.
No, but that's not what this is.
This is a tale of two fake doctors
who are actually real friends.
Yeah, so, you know,
we could take this on to something else.
Maybe we watch other doctor shows.
I preferably do not want to do that.
I do not.
No, no.
I would say,
since we talk so much about movies,
and I do think that the listeners like the discussion of pop culture
and episodes of TV, we could literally go,
okay, this week we're doing Back to the Future.
This week we're doing an episode of What's Happening.
Wow.
I think we could just pick whether it's a TV episode or a movie,
and that's the topic of discussion that week.
I would love to do the Back to the Future one now.
Could we do that?
No.
We already did La La Land.
Although I think when we switch to this mode,
we'll have to do a more in-depth La La Land.
Oh, I can go way deeper with my La La Land.
You know, we turned a lot of people on to La La Land.
I had a lot of people on my feeds being like,
you know, I never actually watched it,
and I did. Thank you so
much. I'm crying my eyes out.
Really? Yeah.
I would think that people would
just be pissed off at the end of La La Land. I don't
necessarily think people would be... I didn't think people
would be crying and stuff. I cried
my eyes out at the end of La La Land. You didn't.
It was sad. You cried at the end
of La La Land? I'm a big
sucker for love that cannot be if you
strategically and do a good job in your script of setting up two people i'm dying to be together
and then you throw at me that they can't be together i mean even if like we always we've
not always we've used the example of whoopi being separated from her sister in color purple oh my
gosh or or or feel the, the father having to catch,
but he's got to go back to the field.
Like, you give me two people that love each other,
and they can't be together, I'm fucking done.
I hear that.
Out of Africa, come on, buddy.
Bridges of Madison County, come on, buddy.
When she reaches for that handle and her hand is shaking,
come on, buddy.
Spoilers. When she reaches for that handle and her hand is shaking, come on, buddy. Spoilers.
When she's about to commit infidelity and she's about to cheat on her husband,
so come on, buddy.
Are you watching Raised by Wolves?
Us.
No, is that the Mowgli story of Tarzan or something?
No.
No, it's Jungle Book and Tarzan in one reference.
Right. No, it's Rid Jungle Book and Tarzan in one reference. Right.
No, it's Ridley Scott, dude.
And it's sci-fi, so I know you'll love it.
And it's really good.
Joelle, you must be watching this.
I freaking love it.
There you go.
But I don't want to...
It's cool.
I think you'll really like it, Donald,
because it's like sci-fi.
It's all the stuff Ridley Scott's been exploring
with the Alien franchise for the past couple of years.
And what I'm really interested in, it's like the story of
a mother and son, mostly. Ridley
Scott's son takes over the series
after episode three. So Ridley Scott directs the first
three episodes, but his son does the next one.
Is it Jake? I think
so. Did you look it up? He's got a few
sons. I'm actually represented
by the Ridley Scott's company as
a commercial director.
Oh, a little bit of trivia for you.
When we cut my short film that
I made with Alicia Silverstone and Florence Pugh,
the one that you all should go watch if you haven't
watched it, called In the Time It Takes
to Get There, that was in
the whole edit suite where they cut
this show. So they loaned us one of
their bays for a few
days and we cut our short in there. I didn't know what it was it was like oh yeah we're gearing up to cut this epic
series called raised by wolves and i was like i don't know what that is and now i'm now i'm
watching it and it's so good i was like oh shit i was cutting on their habits so there you go
donald you'll love it it's sci-fi there's spaceships there's androids. There's spaceships. There's Androids. Oh, that's the one where the Android has got a bunch of kids.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's really good.
It's Luke Scott.
Luke Scott.
Oh, yeah.
Well, Jake Scott's also a really amazing director.
But, Donald, you'll love it.
Should we talk about Peloton?
Did you spin today?
I did not spin today.
I'm going to spin a little bit later.
I did.
You can probably tell by how sweaty I am.
You've got to try this woman, Leanne Hainsby. She's my favorite right now. I'm going to spin a little bit later. I did. You can probably tell by how sweaty I am. You got to try this woman, Leanne Hainsby.
She's my favorite right now. I'm telling
you, try Cody. That's the one.
I did try Cody. I did try Cody. Did you laugh your
ass off? He's funny, but
he has... I love how they all have catchphrases.
Cody has some catchphrases,
right? He says some shit that's like...
They're all trying to find out what you're talking about, Willis.
What was Cody's
catchphrase? I forgot.
He said one phrase over and again.
But Leanne's is done and dusted because she's British.
And I didn't know that was a –
Done and dusted.
Done and dusted.
She goes, okay, okay, sit back down.
That section's over.
Done and dusted.
And I was like, did she make this shit up?
And then I asked Florence.
I was like, is that like a British expression?
She's like, yeah, done and dusted.
I never heard done and dusted before.
Done and dusted.
Do you know what my favorite British saying is?
Bits and bobs.
What is that?
Penis and balls?
No, bits and bobs.
Just like bits and bobs.
Oh, it doesn't refer to penis and balls.
Why would it refer to penis and balls?
I don't know.
Penis is willy.
Sorry, I forgot.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Just stop talking about willies.
Sorry, Deb.
Anyway, yeah.
So I want to incorporate.
I might even try it in this podcast.
The expression, don't interstate.
Okay.
Dude.
I'm getting skinny, though, dude.
I just want you to know I'm pushing myself.
You're looking good.
I'm not going to lie.
You're looking good, man.
I'm cutting weight.
I'm not ready to reveal my abs yet because it's only been a week, but I'm going hardcore.
Can't wait for the ab reveal.
There'll be an ab reveal.
Are you going to have abs?
You're on the cover of Men's Health like everybody else.
That's my goal.
Hey, speaking of the cover of Men's Health, did you see Ryan Reynolds on Twitter?
Yes.
What?
Donald, you didn't see that?
No, man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, he's been blowing us up all morning. He wants to come on the show. He's like. Donald, go check Twitter right now. No, man. Oh, my God. Oh, he's been blowing us up all morning.
He wants to come on the show.
He's like...
Donald, go check Twitter right now.
No, not now.
You got Twitter on your phone?
Not now.
Do you have Twitter on your phone?
Yeah.
He missed his opportunity, man.
It's too late.
Oh, really?
We're not going to deny him.
It's too late.
The funny thing is,
we don't have an episode.
We just can do a...
He's going to be like our first...
It's a very special episode.
Yeah, he's going to be our first
just like shooting this shit with a Ryan Reynolds episode.
Tonight on a very special episode of Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
You know, it would be funny to get him to just watch an episode.
It would be funny to just get him to watch an episode he has nothing to do with
and be like, all right, Ryan, you're going to weigh in on 302.
Right.
What do you think about this one-er?
So wait, hold up.
He liked – somebody obviously reached out to him and was like why did you
diss the fake doctor no no i was very tactful when i when i posted i made your tweet was hilarious i
made a joke saying right today on the podcast ryan reynolds asterix down and put on the asterisk is
a great actor we talk about and um people really replied to that i'm sure people i know people were
tagging him left and right and uh and then today
he responded like i want to be on this show like and then everyone started weighing in and he was
like and i was like we love you ryan bring gin and he's like i'll i'll bring what are you right
you were like i'll bring empty bottles and all the gin that's already in my body or something
but like he's already he's like he's uh he's coming he wants to come on the show
okay that's great you have that face. Why do you have that face on?
You're like pouting?
Are you pouting?
Who? You.
Me? Yeah, you don't seem excited
that Ryan wants to come on the show all of a sudden.
No, I smoked that sativa today, so
I'm not as...
You can't get high
and come to work. I'm not high.
I just said I smoked that I just said I smoked that shit today.
Oh, my God.
We are so opposite.
I love it.
I did the Peloton and chugged a Red Bull,
and Donald's like fucking pulling bong hits in his living room.
Come on, buddy.
This is work.
You gotta entertain these people.
I can't do bong hits in the living room. I got the kids in This is work. You gotta entertain these people. I can't do bong hits in the living room.
I got the kids in the living room.
All right, well, whatever.
In your garden shed.
In the shed.
I love it.
Sitting on the lawnmower.
I got a little escape deck.
Oh, yeah, he has a secret escape deck.
All right, well, everyone.
Should we get into the show?
Should we get into the show?
We have a lot to talk about.
We gotta bring in Sarah
is Sarah here Sarah's here bring her in
let's see everybody if she can
figure out her tech
oh Jesus she's on her iPad that's always
a bad sign remember when that
remember she had music playing one time
yes but she could only hear it right
we couldn't hear it yeah she always
let's see everybody let's see listeners
if Sarah Shaw can join a Zoom call
without issue.
So far, no.
So far, no.
We've got Sarah's iPad
is connecting to, oh,
there she is.
Oh my god, is she in a studio? That's soundproofing.
Oh, she doesn't, no, oh, she's got
fancy soundproofing, probably because of Rick and Morty
or something
There she is. Hi
What happened did I do it is it working? Yeah, it seems are you recording are you recording? Oh
Boy
For real these guys you're not even I know God. Oh god. There's gonna be a oh my god situation already
Guys, you're not even—I mean it. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
There's going to be an oh-my-God situation already.
And then—
And then.
You guys are going to know what happened.
The dogs ate my other dog and my dad.
This was actually a dogs ate my homework situation.
I was so prepared, and I watched the episode, and I couldn't find my sheets.
And I was like, fuck, it's 1 o'clock.
Where is everything I wrote down?
And so I retraced my steps, and look where I found it.
The wind had blown it in between the decks, and it's like.
Oh, my gosh.
That's how much you care about our episode.
You guys, Sarah is holding up a paper that looks like it's been through the washing machine.
Oh, my God.
This is the most.
But I'm glad the audience is seeing this because this is what every single morning of, of, of, we ever saw Sarah was like.
She was like, you guys, you're not going to believe this.
The notes that I made of the show fell in the gutter.
They did.
And then just as I was reaching for it, a raccoon picked it up and ran off with it.
And then.
I chased the raccoon down. And ran off with it. And then, how are they going to know that I actually prepared?
And at time code 3.52, Kelso made a great face.
Sarah, it looks like you have a fancy sound booth.
But is that a makeshift thing because you do Rick and Morty and other fun voiceover work?
So I can't remember if I told you guys this story, but I, um, when I first, the pandemic hit
and I was recording cartoons and I was grabbing every duvet and pillow on the bottom bunk bed and
making like a sound cocoon for as, you know, good acoustics as we could get. But that point we were
just kind of doing pickups and it was fine. And then I, they wanted better sound quality. So I
took seven moving blankets and duct taped them to my four-year-old's play tent.
And I would, like, crawl in there.
And then—so then I did, like, this deep dive into building my own sound booth.
And I learned more about, like, green glue and clips and bass traps and, like, than I could ever want to know. And so then finally I decided to just order, like, a proper vocal booth from Oregon.
And it was shipped up in a crate.
And then we had to assemble it.
So I like the real deal.
Oh, wow.
It's big, Sarah.
I like that you got it from Oregon.
It's big.
You guys, Sarah has like a legit professional audio booth.
It's about time, though, Sarah, because I feel like you do a lot of awesome VO work.
And I can understand that people were probably like, all right, come on, Sarah.
Well, especially since you guys all know how technologically inclined I am.
Yes, our listeners have all heard.
You know what I was saying?
Before this one, I'm like, I'm going to have everything ready.
And at the last minute, I was like, oh, they prefer earbuds, not, you know, headphones.
And I thought I was so organized.
And then I went to go grab my papers.
And I was like.
Oh, my God.
Well, I'm so glad you're here, Sarah.
It's good to see you, guys.
I miss you.
It's so good to see you.
We miss you.
And I'm so glad you're here for this one because it's just an incredible Elliot episode.
And we've been talking so much.
And this isn't just to blow smoke.
And I know you probably don't listen to the podcast.
But we are not men of lip service.
Let's keep it 100.
I know.
I spent nine years.
I know.
I know.
I know you're not.
But I feel like.
No, but Sarah, even though it's belated.
And this is coming from the bottom of my heart.
Donald and I are watching these episodes,
and almost every episode we're like, holy shit,
I wasn't paying enough attention to how good Sarah is in this show.
That is so nice and so not true.
I find the beginning episodes very difficult for me to watch because I'm so bad.
I feel like I learned so much as the show went along.
I disagree. I think you're so funny, Sarah. You're comic chopped like I learned so much as the show went along. I disagree.
I think you're so funny, Sarah.
You're comic chopped.
You're so good in this show.
I think I was so in my own bubble and trying to do a good job of my own thing.
And of course I noticed occasionally when I thought you were being funny or your dramatic
work was great.
But now just sitting here 20 years later watching it, Donald and I are both like, holy shit,
Sarah is funny as hell.
Blown away.
And of course your dramatic stuff too, but you're just hilarious.
Well, for the dramatic stuff, I've got my Josh Radin iPod soundtrack.
Remember, I used to go with my iPods and have my crying playlist?
I think that's a go-to move for a lot of people, putting on the sad music.
Winter.
What were you going to say, Donald?
And you're fine as hell, girl.
Holy shit. There it is. There holy shit oh there it is there it is
there it is that is real talk i'm sarah we just watched the episode where you in your naughty
nurse outfit making out with donald and that got us all riled up oh my god i remember that day and
it was like you know when you're on a show and you are somebody's love interest from the beginning
and you kind of meet and you're already kissing but it's so different, like, you become such good friends with somebody and you're just buddies.
And then all of a sudden it's like, and now you will be on all fours crawling on top of them.
And you'll be wearing very little clothing.
Right.
Zach was like, Zach kept asking me.
He was like, wait a second.
And you didn't get, like, excited.
And I was like, dude, at this point we were hanging out so much and we were so tight as
friends that it was like yo it's like i'm kissing my sister dude i know and then oh my god but when
you look at the scene it looks really good like we had good chemistry you did have good chemistry
i was jealous i'm not gonna lie i can't lie and tell you i wasn't jealous. 20 years later, I was like, get your fucking hands off my woman.
I love it.
We never counted in, Sarah.
And since you're our favorite Canadian,
Ryan Reynolds is going to be coming on the program.
So he's going to be our second favorite Canadian.
But since you're our first favorite Canadian,
I thought you might.
Wait, wait, wait.
Tom Cavanaugh also.
Tom Cavanaugh also came on the show.
Okay, well, Tom's the second.
Ryan will be third.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I can't believe...
Oh, and then we're going to have Michael J. Fox, I hope.
So he can be top.
He might just play Sarah.
No, no, no.
It'd be Sarah, Michael J. Fox, Tom Cavanaugh.
I love Sarah, but I think Michael J. Fox might briefly,
maybe just for the week, move Sarah down, no? No, it would be Sarah, Michael J. Fox might briefly, maybe just for the week, move Sarah down.
No?
No, it would be Sarah, Michael J. Fox, Tom Cavanaugh, and then Ryan Reynolds.
And when Ryan comes on, Donald and Ryan, I've done the exact same.
That scene I just did with Donald, like all fours curling on top of him.
Also, I've done with Ryan Reynolds.
Really?
That could be discussed.
Oh, you want to do that or you have done it?
You have done it?
No, I have.
What movie was that?
I don't know if you guys remember when we were,
I can't remember what season it was.
Canadian porn, Sarah.
Did you do Canadian porn?
There's a lot of work here now.
It didn't used to be that way.
So Ryan, I don't know if you guys remember.
We had to take what we could get.
Ryan and I were young. We had to take what we could get. You know, Ryan and I were young.
We had to take what Canadian work we could get.
Canadian porn is not something you hear a lot about.
But okay, go ahead.
It's very tame.
Very tame.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
They politely kiss each other.
Totally.
All right, before we count in, Sarah, tell us the story where you mounted Ryan Reynolds.
So I don't know if you guys remember.
I can't remember what season it was on Scrubs. I remember I was I was like oh man I gotta put on
bra and underwear and for this movie and there's pretty much my only couple scenes in the movie
and one or two of them were in like just full bra and underwear like push Ryan Reynolds on the bed
crawl on top of them much like the Donald scene and so I was like trying to do I think I asked you Zach you had that amazing delivery food service
that was like super healthy and so I tried doing that and I was like trying to be all healthy
and wait what happened what was the scene you mounted him was it awkward was there chemistry
like there was between you and Donald when you're in your naughty outfits yeah. So I was, I was, I think I got there to set,
and my first scene was that scene with Ryan.
So it was kind of like, hi, nice to meet you again, kind of,
because we'd known each other through friends when we were younger,
but I didn't know him well at all.
And, yeah, that was literally the first scene as I,
like a garter and heels and like this.
What movie is this?
How can the fans watch this, Sarah?
What movie is it?
Let's say I wanted to quickly watch it this evening.
It is directed by Marco Siega,
starring Ryan Reynolds and Emily Mortimer,
and the name of it is coming to me.
I'll count us in.
You guys will go to break.
I'll think about it.
All right, hold on.
And Sarah, you will now count us in.
Go for it, girl.
It's really happening.
I get to do it.
This is an honor.
We only bestow this on certain people.
French or English?
I mean, we're in Canada.
French.
Do French.
French.
French.
Cinq, six, sept, huit.
Or would you like, or would you rather, or would you prefer?
Cinq, six, sept, huit.
We have some stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of doctors and nurses in a Canada who love to hate. Sarah, so what was the movie called?
Joelle helped you out.
Joelle helped me out.
Thank you, Joelle.
Chaos Theory.
Chaos Theory.
All right, everyone.
This is obviously before he blew up and became the Ryan Reynolds that he is today.
Was he already ripped and stuff like that?
Donald wants to know if you had a chance to see the abs live in person.
Were they doughy?
Was he doughy at the time?
Were they glistening?
Or was he like ripped enough to be a character in Magic Mike?
I mean, he was ripped.
I just remember him being ripped.
I don't know the degrees of rippage that you guys are referring to.
Well, you know, Sarah, you were on top of them.
I'm sure you know that they were.
I feel bad that you were coming from me being your love interest
and then going to Ryan Reynolds with his abs
and had to come back to my showy physique.
By the way, this episode, I really, I have to say,
the first shot of me, I instantly saw that I had a little fupa happening.
I had a little belly.
Oh, my God.
The first shot is one of my favorite shots in the episode.
I mean, when you're dancing, it fucking kills me.
It's so funny.
Okay, wait.
Before we do it, hold on, hold on, hold on.
We have so much to talk about.
We're going too fast.
Too far.
We're going too fast.
Let's just do the recap real quick so we can get this out of the way.
Yes, the recap.
All right, hold on.
I don't have my phone.
Dan, I need you to time.
No problem.
I don't have my phone.
And yes, I have been listening to the podcast.
I am behind, but I have been listening, and I do know the best colors. Nobody asked. You should have. I know you to time. No problem. I don't have my phone. And yes, I have been listening to the podcast. I am behind, but I have been listening, and I do know that-
Nobody ask you, Sarah.
I know you're kidding.
Nobody ask, Sarah.
Nobody kidding, Sarah.
I did hear you ask Scarlett Johansson about Ryan Reynolds' app, so I know that that happened.
Yes.
Okay, that's your job.
All right, here we go.
All right, you ready?
Ready?
It's 47 seconds now, Sarah.
47 seconds?
Ready?
Go.
Season three begins with a pow.
Dr. Cox punches Dr. Kelso in the nose.
Things in the hospital seem to go back to normal.
Well, there are a few changes.
JD stopped using moose.
When the progression of change doesn't move fast enough,
some people take matters into their own hands
and try to help change with its pace. Unfortunately, change is stubborn as fuck Okay.
Change is so slow, things always seem to be the same.
39 seconds.
Thank you, Donald, for always seem to be the same. 39 seconds. Thank you, Donald,
for that beautiful summation of the themes. My first impression was, what the hell did I do during this hiatus? Because I have a belly, my hair is too long, I seem a little fat in my face,
like I've been overindulging in alcohol. That was my first impression of myself.
What did you guys think when you first saw your season
three selves? When I first saw you,
I was like, oh shit, this is
the season Zach came back comfortable.
I was like, he came back.
He came back, but it's true.
He went away that summer and
sincerely was like, you know, hey, I'm the
star of a hit show and I'm going to be on Thursday
nights. And he ate some freaking ice cream.
So you're saying you noticed I looked a little chubby.
I don't like that, but it's true.
See, when you guys say that you don't blow smoke, I mean, you mean it.
You can tell like it is.
No, I'm going to tell.
We don't mince words here.
I want him to be honest with me.
I tell him when he looks a little tubbins.
You tell me that all the time.
Tubbins. I like that. honest with you i tell him when he looks a little tubbins well you tell me that all the time tubbins
i like it sounded like it sounded like mary poppins with tubbins for paper and string
you can have your own set of wings what's up you know what i remember we were we were a hit we were
a bonafide hit at this point season two was our was our was our biggest season ever and i have to look up what when i did that hiatus i'm sure i may have
made a movie maybe it was last kiss or something i don't know but i came back a little tubbins
no i think it's god i think this time it's garden state i think garden state had come out oh sorry
you're right i'm jumping timeline and no it didn't come out i think i probably shot gardens that it had to be this year that you
shot garden state because the year before you had just uh sold it and everything like that so this
is the right right right the year before i had done um shakespeare in the park in new york and
then i had set it up with natalie and this would have been one year later is what i probably made
the movie sorry i'm bad with time like that but you're probably right so anyway i come back i
remember that we were,
all three of us were kind of like,
the show is such a hit.
Are we going to get a little pay raise?
Because that sometimes happens after two years.
We had heard that the Will and Grace cast
had all been given boxsters.
Do you remember that?
This was like when the Porsche Boxster,
was it Boxster?
Yeah.
It just come out
and they had given all four of the leads
of Will and Grace boxsters.
And we were like, oh, shit, we'll be going to get what's going on.
And we didn't get anything.
And then the first episode opened with U2, the song.
And I never turned to Donald being like, I guess that's where I raised with.
Oh, my God.
That U2 song.
I mean, just hearing it in this episode,
like, does it bring you guys right back to the pilot?
I can't hear that song without it, like, being 24 again
and shooting that pilot.
Why?
Did we play the song a lot?
Or is that when it came out?
That was in the pilot.
It was in the pilot episode when Daniel Joel, am I correct?
Yeah, I think so.
When you walk in, it's like the song, I think, in the pilot episode.
Oh, it probably is.
Unless it was that we tried to put it in, and then when we – it was just in the pre-cut.
And when we aired, we didn't get it until three years later.
But I think we had it in there.
I don't know.
I just remember that it was very expensive.
And I think we were told at the time, like someone was like, you're not going to believe how much we spent on getting that U2 song.
And we were all like, great.
That sounds great.
It's going to be really good.
Because, you know,
because Bono needs a new house.
Right.
Oh, my God.
Did you guys,
was that the year
that you got your new car?
Speaking of Boxsters,
it wasn't a Boxster,
but when you went from your Z
to your Porsche
and Bill put the license plate on?
No, I didn't go right to Porsche.
I didn't get that cocky.
I got a 350Z.
The year the Nissan 350Z came out, my father's fanciest sports car was a Nissan 280ZX. And I
thought it was the coolest car. It was one of the first cars that would talk. That is to say,
if you left your lights on, it would be like, your lights are on. And I was like, holy shit,
we have Knight Rider. We have fucking fucking night rider and i would talk to it
i would talk to it i would sit my dad would be inside obviously like i wouldn't have the keys
but i would like open the door and like flip the lights on and i'd be like uh hey kid uh is
everything okay with the car and it would be like your lights are on i'm like thank you kit
and i was just in heaven so i always loved nissan sports sports cars. And then Nissan came out with a 350Z.
And I was so excited.
And I actually, my car that I bought for five grand when I moved to LA, my parents loaned me money, was a Nissan 240SX.
Super used, barely, you know, I fixed it up.
So it was fine.
And then when I got, when I got, and there was a busboy who worked at the French Vietnamese restaurant with me.
And he barely spoke English.
I don't know any Spanish.
But we were like best friends.
And he loved my Nissan 240SX.
And when I got Scrubs and then I bought the Z, I gave him the car for like a dollar.
Because you have to like do some money exchange or something.
So he got the car for a buck.
And it was a pretty cool moment.
And so, yes, my first fancy car with Scrubs was that.
I didn't get to Porsche until I made a little more money.
Hold on.
I remember what happened.
You bought the Z, and everybody clowned you for buying the motherfucking Nissan Z.
One person clowned me.
One person only clowned me. Who was that one person?
You.
You. Okay, but also Bill who put TV doc on your license plate and then he didn't tell you that he was doing that.
I don't know if you've discussed this on the podcast or maybe you want to cut this out because it's too much of a deep wound.
We don't cut embarrassing things out, Sarah.
Bill had the prop department, unbeknownst to me, put a California license plate on my new car that said TV dock.
And I didn't know about it or see it.
And I was driving around fucking L.A.
For how long?
For how long?
Like seven days.
Probably like a week with a flashy sports car with TV dock on a license plate.
So embarrassing.
That inspired me when I was working on a show called Mad Love with Jason Biggs and Tyler Labine.
And we were rapping the next day.
And I thought, what would be a fun thing to do for the cast?
And Judy Greer was on it.
She was like, I can't do it to Judy because she wouldn't have loved it.
So I asked the props department, who are always so amazing, like in 24 hours, I was like, can you get me two license plates?
And so they made me these license plates and they teched them down to make them look old.
And I was like, what would be the douchiest things that they could be driving around with?
So for Biggs, I did B-I-G-G-S and the S was a dollar sign.
And then for Tyler Labine, I just did like Acton, A-C-T-I-N apostrophe.
Acton. Acton.
Acton.
For my fellow, I've known Tyler since we were 16.
We were in a Robin Hood takeoff with Joshua Jackson, Josh Jackson and Devin Sawa when we
were like 15.
So.
All you Canadian kids stick together, man.
There's a whole Canadian community up there.
There's only like 14 of them.
They all know each other.
No, there's way more than that, dude.
I used to think like you, Zach. I used to think like you zach i used to think like you but no no no what i learned when i did i did a french
canadian film in montreal and i learned that there's a whole community of french canadian
stars that that watch french canadian cinema like they have their own star system. Because when I did the movie,
this amazing actress I worked with,
she was like a big star in Montreal.
And interestingly enough, I said,
oh, these movies must transfer over to France.
And they said, no, they rarely ever become popular in France.
It's like just this community,
they have their own like movie stars.
Do you know why?
I want to see it?
Um,
sorry,
it's called,
um,
the high cost of living.
It's a super,
super,
super good,
but also sad movie.
It's the movie I made with Deborah Chow.
Uh,
we've spoken about Deborah Chow on this podcast.
She's become,
uh,
one of the hottest directors in town.
She's one of the directors of Mandalorian and she's directing,
um,
the Obi-Wan, Obi- the new... Obi-Wan!
Obi-Wan TV show. Anyway,
her first feature
that she wrote and directed
was there and it was called
The High Cost of Living, which is now The Lodge.
I would imagine the reason
why it wouldn't translate
in France
is because it's two
different French speaking... Well, they're close enough.
I mean, it's not like it's different, right,
Sarah? Sarah, you would know better than us, isn't it?
It's like you can understand each other.
That's like saying Haitians and
Montreal people speak the same French, man.
It's a different dialect.
I don't think it's that different. Let's ask the person who's
fluent. Sarah, is it that different?
I mean, they definitely are different. I feel
like there's sort of like
a, definitely people
from France
would like to definitely think so.
Like when I go to France and I'm so excited
to speak French at the markets and
I was
learned speaking, you know, all my
teachers growing up were French-Canadian.
Alors, ben là, là.
J'en ai jusque-là, là, là. J'en ai jusque-là, là, Sarah.
Je suis jetée la goutte.
La goutte.
J'en ai jusque-là.
Pute nièvrerie de rien, toi.
Sarah, toute la gang.
Sarah, la radio.
They'd call me, Jen,
and Emma la radio,
the radio,
because we would be, like,
chatting all the time.
I don't even know
what she said,
but it shifted.
But that's French-Canadian right there.
That's French-Canadian right there, right?
But she's saying it's not.
Now, Sarah, as I recall, they say we.
No, it's a big difference between that and freaking regular French.
She just said it was different.
But Donald's saying they can barely understand each other.
You can go there and they think you have an accent, but they understand you, no?
I mean, the words are all the same.
Yeah.
You just say that shit
real hard, though. It's like,
les poissons, motherfucker!
It's like you're saying it like that
instead of being like... Les poissons, motherfucker.
Because that comes up all the time.
Instead of being like...
Instead of being like...
Instead of being like
les poissons, it's les poissons!
I feel like they said we like this, les poissons, it's, les poissons! I feel like they said,
we,
like this,
Sarah.
They go,
wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah.
Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah was in the cut. You heard it in the cut and it probably was too expensive. I have to ask Bill now because I don't know if I'm making that up, but I thought it was in the cut of the pilot. But yeah, maybe
we had to wait till season three
for our Boxster money to go to
the U2 song. Bill doesn't
do the ask Bill section.
No, he does. You misunderstood,
Donald. It's not that he was giving up
doing the segment. He said he just wanted to
be more proactive in his contributions.
Isn't that right, Joelle? Yes, that is correct. Okay, can we, let's get back to the show. He said he just wanted to be more proactive in his contributions. Isn't that right, Joelle?
Yes, that is correct.
Okay, can we – let's get back to the show.
Okay, but I just have so much to talk about.
How about that E! News article about us?
That was incredible.
Hey.
Sarah, did you see that?
I saw it and I read it and congratulations and I agree.
Thank you.
And I mean just the fucking headline.
Yeah, it was like the podcast of quarantine.
How did how how fake doctors, real friends became the hit podcast of quarantine.
Everybody, if you haven't seen it, E! News says that we're all amazing and we agree.
And it is such a it's such a beautiful relief in the midst of all of the shit. Like, I find there have been stressful moments, obviously, over the past seven months when someone gets sick and you're like, oh, good.
Now that every symptom's on the docket, there's not really a moment of relief if you're sick of wondering, is this it?
Is this not it?
And I have played.
I remember one time I was really stressed and I played it and it was you guys and Neil Flynn and I laughed my ass off.
And it does. It just like takes you
out of all of the things.
It's so great.
You know what takes me out of
thinking about shit too is watching you
on vacation with your family,
Sarah, and you trying to
with the motorboat
trying to get the motor
out of the water.
That is the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.
First of all, you should follow Sarah Chalk on social media.
Oh, my God.
What was going on with this video?
Can you explain it to people that didn't see?
It looked hilarious.
So it's a long video of my butt trying to pull up a motor.
I was trying to – so the motor is very heavy.
And for some reason –
Why were you trying to pull the – what do they call those motors?
The outboard.
Outboard.
Why were you trying to pull the outboard motor out of the water?
Because – so it's an outboard motor.
It's like a 25 or something, which is the horsepower.
And it's big and it's heavy.
And it's on the back of a tin boat.
And so basically when you beach it, you can't leave the outboard down or the prop will get totally damaged.
But doesn't it just tilt up?
So this is a skill that my sisters have learned.
And because I lived in L.A. and I just for 20, 17 years, whatever, I just there's some skills I was missing.
So this summer I was like, I'm learning to drive the boat. I'm learning to pull out the motor. The motor is very hard.
So you pull in, you've got to kind of time it out that you, you know, kill the motor.
And then as you're coming into the beach, you don't kill it too early or you'll be out to sea.
And then you have to quickly grab it and pull it up.
But there's a way that you can kind of like push down on the handle to give yourself some you know oomph to get that motor out and I I didn't know that I was doing it till
Piper my sister had videoed me trying for about 15 minutes to pull this motor out and then she
played it back for me afterwards and finally I I got up I did bail and have a couple of scrubs
ask pratfalls but what I didn't notice so I watched it back was every time I've always tried to pull up that
motor, I make the JD.
And it just like, for some reason,
it was so funny watching you try and pull an outboard motor out.
I mean, I, it was like, it was,
it was like watching an episode of three's company.
It was just, I wish it was set to music.
I laughed very hard at that.
It's just – I mean I can't – I'm telling you it's heavy.
It's heavy.
I picture this is how you get around in Canada.
Just with a 25.
Yeah, just in your little tin boat with your 25 horsepower.
A little 10-20 boat with your 25 horsepower.
Speaking of Canada, are you guys watching this show called The Vow on HBO Max?
It's so good.
I haven't seen it.
I've heard it's so great, and we can discuss it at our next reunion.
I've heard it's amazing.
I'm just behind.
Y'all watch way too much television, man.
It's like y'all need to get some, get a life.
Some kids. Get a life, man, or something.
Get some kids, you'll never watch television again.
Well, Donald, I don't watch that much TV.
I watch TV, we watch TV like for a few hours after dinner.
Motherfucker, you got a new show every day.
It's like, yo, have you guys watched The Perception?
Well, you don't watch, it TV after you have dinner like many do.
We do.
We try and get into a few good shows betwixt dinner and bedtime.
Yeah, I don't have the – I don't do that.
I get to watch – I watch a little bit of sports.
Right.
And then I – that's it.
I go to bed.
I think that you're unique in that area.
I think especially during quarantine, there's a lot of brilliant television right now to consume.
Anyway, the vow on HBO Max.
In October.
In October.
I'm very excited for October.
Anyway, the vow on HBO Max.
I highly recommend you check it out.
It's really fucked up and very well told.
And it's about a cult.
And a lot of it takes place in vancouver that's why i brought
it up sarah i'm so glad you didn't get recruited into this sex cult because they pulled in a lot
of actors is this a real it's a real it's a real thing is it based on nexium yes it is nexium it
is what they're talking about no it's a documentary sarah so the they're they're showing all these
beautiful young canadian actresses that got recruited into this
thing. And I'm like, I'm so glad they didn't get my Sarah. I feel like it went down. I think like
right after I moved to L.A., if I'm right, Alison Mack, right? She's the one that was the recruiter.
She becomes like one of the fucking leaders of the shit. Like branding them. I listened to,
I haven't watched it, but I listened to they did. Spoilers, spoilers, but they brand them. Spoilers. They brand them
vagina adjacent. Yes, they
brand them next to their vaginas. Sarah, you're ruining
the show. I just have a couple more things
to spoil. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
What is the name of this show?
The Vow. It's called The Vow.
It's on HBO Max. It is so
fucked up. Dan, are you watching it? I am not
watching it. Let me write this down. You've got to watch
it. So Sarah,
did anyone ever come up to you and be like,
I have a really wonderful class I want to take you to?
Let me just show you
my branding. Oh my god, she's
lifting up her shirt. She's branded,
everybody. She's branded.
And right at that moment, the LED lighting package
went out. There we go. I don't mean to make a joke
at everybody. It is really fucked up.
But you just can't believe it.
You're watching it with your jaw on the floor of this.
It's not only is it such a fucked up story, but the documentarians did a really amazing job telling it because you're just like, holy shit.
I wonder if it's the same documentarians that did.
So they did a podcast, which I've listened to all the episodes about NXIVM.
I think it was on the CBC a couple of years ago.
We don't talk about other podcasts, Sarah, but go ahead.
Yeah, I get that.
I just realized as it was coming out of my mouth,
guys, listen to this podcast.
It was coming out of my mouth.
It was coming out of my mouth,
and I realized that it might be a competitor.
And I was wearing my toque.
I was wearing my toque, and I had just broken my garburator.
All of a sudden, I pulled out of the parkade.
Sarah, say the most Canadian sentence you can.
I think that was it.
That involved toque, which is your hat, your garburator, which is your garbage disposal, and your parkade, which is the parking structure.
And then you say sorry.
Sorry.
And then you say sorry.
And then you say, I'm just off.
Has anyone seen La Guel de Touc?
No, what's that?
What?
I'm just joking.
What? Only the just joking. Okay.
What?
Only the Canadians will get that.
Only the Canadians will get that.
It was a movie that we were forced to watch in French class every year growing up.
All right.
Donald, are you on your phone right now?
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm waiting to get into the show.
You guys are freaking talking about it.
Oh, so you've checked out of the show.
You're just on your phone.
You're checking your social media right now?
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm not on my social media.
Oh, this dude's all baked fucking looking and checking your social media right now? What the fuck are you doing? I'm not on my social media.
Speaking of social media.
Looking at animation videos on YouTube right now.
I'm not baked anymore, dude. That shit was fucking like a half an hour ago.
What time did you start?
Oh, you got high a half hour ago and you're not still high?
What is that fucking quick wear off shit?
We've been doing the show for over a half an hour
so it can't be a half hour ago.
Wait, I didn't know that, Donald. I missed the beginning.
Yeah, he's high as balls.
We've lost a fucking guy.
I didn't know that.
I was looking for my pages underneath the deck.
By the way, Sarah, it's a perfect analogy.
We all came back for season three feeling ourselves.
I got a little tummy, phoning it in.
I'm cocky.
Donald comes into season three of the podcast big, checking his phone.
Listen, hold on.
Time out. Time out. Time out, buddy. Listen, hold on. Time out.
Time out.
Time out, buddy.
Listen, I am not high right now, okay?
So let's-
Okay.
So it's worn off.
It's worn off.
It's completely worn off.
I am sober.
I need some of this quick wear off weed because if I get high-
It's been hours.
It's been hours.
My point is though-
That should be one of our products, quick wear off weed by fake doctors and real friends.
Oh my God, we make so much money. I'm happy to be a beta tester.
You can be high, but it
goes away after a half hour.
Alright.
Let's talk about the show.
Let's talk about the show. Thank you.
43 minutes in, we've finally
gotten to the show.
So, we talked about your hair
already. We talked about your weight and
everything like that.
My smack talk.
Right.
George Michael in the beginning.
Yeah.
So what's the difference?
You can sing George Michael,
and as long as it's not the actual music,
and George Michael singing,
and it doesn't cost any money,
but if you use it too...
No, I'm sure it did.
We had three songs in this episode.
This is how much Bill was feeling our budget
after season two.
Tom Petty,
George Michael, you two.
I imagine those are
very expensive songs. I think we shot probably
half the show's music
budget in the first episode.
But yeah,
so I'm dancing and Donald says,
what's the rule about white boys dancing
in public? And I go, not
allowed unless you're gay.
And then this amazing guy comes in and dances like crazy and does this move.
And we go, morning, Steven.
Which we then name our dog.
Our second dog.
Oh, right, the second dead dog.
But the funniest, like, right off the bat, when you're like, if I could touch your body.
No, not you, sir.
Yeah.
As he walks by, that was really funny.
It would be nice if I could touch your body.
Not you, sir.
And then, okay, let's get to the basketball game.
Smack talk, yeah.
The smack talking.
Oh, that was amazing.
Omoja Butler.
Omoja, I want to say it right. Omoja Butler Omoja I want to say it right
Omoja Butler
yeah
it has probably
that joke made me laugh
probably the hardest
out of all of the jokes
in the show
where he's like
I'm going to toast you so bad
your mother's not going
to recognize you
and you go
oh yeah
well I heard your sister
started drinking again
and then you're like oh it's not Well, I heard your sister started drinking again.
And then you're like, oh, it's not supposed to be true.
And then he starts crying.
Right, and then you go, oh, it's not supposed to be true.
Yeah, J.D. doesn't know. And then you're like, let it all out.
Yeah.
Yeah, you go like, let it flow or something.
And then.
It's just your delivery.
Yeah?
Well, I heard your sister started drinking again.
It's just your delivery.
Yeah?
Well, I heard your sister started drinking again.
And I love that JD doesn't have a smack talk.
He's like, oh, it's not supposed to be true.
And then also, this is the episode that Frick started. Yeah, 243, everybody.
The very first Frick.
Sarah, what's the genesis of Frick?
I wish I remembered.
I don't remember. I don't know.
I don't remember. I don't know if it was me or Bill.
And then it
went to double Frick
and then Frick on a stick with a brick.
No, it was Frick,
double Frick, Frick on a stick,
Frick on a stick with a brick.
It became
one of Sarah's catchphrases
She finally got her
What you're talking about Willis
I got it in season three
Season three
She got her Frick
I didn't get a Boxster
But I got a Frick
Yeah
Yeah
It was a lot less expensive
To give you a Frick
I did get that
Pink cashmere juicy jogger set
That I wore in that Frick scene
I remember they let me
Take that home
Oh yeah girl
Do you remember Juicy y'all
Do you remember Juicy I remember Juall? Do you remember Juicy?
Juicy was great.
That was a pink cashmere Juicy Joker set.
I used to have Juicy cashmere.
Yeah, man.
Juicy was the jam.
Everybody had to.
And it was sweatsuits.
It was a bunch of sweatsuits.
And everybody was paying like $200, $300 for a sweatsuit.
Yeah.
Juicy.
They figured it out.
Juicy.
So, you know, Frick comes. Juicy. So, you know,
Frick comes from,
you can't, you know,
on TV shows and network,
you're always trying to
work around places
where you'd actually curse.
Some shows like
do it and beep it,
which I guess is easier
if you're more documentary style,
like The Office
or Modern Family
or something.
Some shows,
The Good Place very creatively made it fork because they were supposedly in this heaven-type setting
where it just automatically changes all your curses to better words.
So Frick allowed Sarah to say fuck without saying fuck.
There's one more place that they changed
the word and so you wouldn't
say fuck and that was Battlestar Galactica
and they said frack.
And that became, are you fracking kidding me?
Are you fracking kidding me right
now? But did they never explain it or they just
did it? They just did it. For the whole
run of the show, it would be
like, what the frack are you talking about?
Oh, frack. I'm gonna frack you up.
You can say friggin',
which I always thought was a
comfortable alternative.
Some people don't like friggin'.
It doesn't have the power that fuck has,
or frick, or frick
has. Yeah, you need the K.
Frick! You know that to make a movie
PG-13,
you're allowed one fuck in a PG-13 you're allowed one fuck
in a PG-13 movie
and it can't be
a sexual fuck
you can't be like
oh I want a
fucker
but you can be like
what the fuck
oh
I didn't know that
a little trivia for you
so you have to pick
your fuck
if you're directing
a PG-13 movie
they're like
alright pick your fuck
what do you want
and then next rating
you can do R you. What do you want? And then next rating, you can do.
R, you can say whatever you want.
Say whatever you want.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I'm trying to think of the other PG-13 rules.
They've probably changed.
It used to be like, obviously, sex.
There were some other ones.
I forgot.
Drug use, maybe.
I don't know.
All right. Go ahead, Donald.
Kelso's nose squeaks the entire episode.
Wait, before we get to Kelso's nose,
what about Sarah losing her car door?
I mean, that was hilarious.
Well, that was hilarious.
And then carrying it around the hospital with me
so it doesn't get stolen.
Now, this is something that goes on.
This joke continues through other episodes
because you later on have like a taxi cab door,
like a yellow door on your car and everything like that.
So this is a joke that continues with your brand new car.
Am I right or am I wrong?
Yeah, that's right.
I forgot about that.
I think that's right.
Yeah, she didn't get the matching color door.
She just got, it was the same door for her car, but it was yellow.
Forgot about that.
Yeah, so I thought that was very funny.
And then, yeah, so sorry, Donald.
Go to Kelso's squeaky nose, which is very funny.
For the whole episode, Kelso has a squeaky nose because of the punch he received from Dr. Cox.
And that shit is a lot.
Yo, every time Ken would inhale, it would squeak.
It's only on the inhale, though.
It's not on the exhale.
It's only on the inhale.
So every time he inhaled, it was weird.
I love how people hate him so much that even though the room was packed,
he's like, miraculously, no one saw it.
No one saw me.
Sammy in the background going like, what happened?
Celebrating.
Fist bumping.
Now, my dive under the gurney, I replayed it a few times because I thought it was a cowboy switch.
Same.
I couldn't figure out if it was or not.
I watched it for the same reason.
I was like, was that a cowboy switch?
I feel like it was.
I feel like you came running up in the hallway from the back, then it was cowboy switch, and then you popped up.
I know, but it was so seamless.
It was so good.
So for those of you who don't remember, a cowboy switch is when the actor who's not a stuntman is hiding,
and the stuntman does something insane and then kind of goes off camera and then the real actor pops up.
So JD does this insane sort of slide under a gurney and then I pop up.
I'm pretty sure it's a cowboy switch, but man, it is seamless.
You cannot tell.
It's so – like the timing of me coming up was so perfect.
And you did always, for the most part, try your own falls always.
So it's very plausible.
I did a lot of them.
But when, you know, the thing about a stuntman is there is, when there's a real chance, like, okay, you could get hurt doing this one. Like, when I exit the room, that's clearly a stuntman.
That's not you, yeah.
He takes a really hard fall on the gurney tipping over.
So you don't want your actors breaking anything because then you can't fucking make the show so
a lot of these actors also stunt people often don't get paid well they get like one rate to
show up but then often they won't get more money unless they do the thing so sometimes i feel for
stunt people who are like oh come on i know you want to show off and do it yourself but let me
fucking do the stunt and uh and so i often try tried to do them, but some of them where I could like break a hand, they were like, no, you're not doing that.
I would still, even not doing my own stunts, come once a season to scrubs on crutches with having torn the ligaments in my left ankle.
I think it was about once a year.
And I'd be like, Randall, I'm so sorry.
once a year. And I'd be like, Randall,
I'm so sorry.
They would have me standing beside the bed and standing
in a lot of scenes and not walking for like a week.
How many times did you get injured making this show?
I feel like it was
always my ankle and it was never doing anything fabulous.
I would come to set and be like, how'd you do it?
And I'd be like, I was walking Lola
and I tripped on a pinecone off a sidewalk.
And then it was, yeah,
it was basically the first time I did it. I was in college and my leg was crossed and my foot fell asleep.
And I was in like a 500-person lecture hall.
And I got up to ask the professor a question.
And I went down on, like I went over my ankle.
I rolled my ankle.
And it swole up to the size of a grapefruit.
And they x-rayed it.
And I was 19 years old.
And I had a growth plate that hadn't closed because I hadn't finished growing.
But they thought it was a hairline fracture.
So they, by mistake, put me into a plaster cast up to my knee.
And I went to go film an episode of The Roseanne Show.
And she was like, Roseanne was like, it doesn't make sense.
You would have that, get that taken off.
And so I did.
Even though, like, that's like a kid who has, like, you know, a potentially broken foot.
Roseanne was like, I don't give a fuck what's wrong.
Take that cast off.
So they asked me to take the cast off.
So I did.
And the doctor down there was like, it's actually a blessing in disguise because this is like a growth plate that hasn't closed.
It's not a hairline fracture.
Your foot's not broken.
You just sprained it really badly.
And that's why it swole up so much.
So Roseanne's coldness actually helped you.
It was such a gift, man.
It's all for you.
I want to tell everyone about Lola,
Sarah's $7,000
dog, and we'll explain it right after
these words.
Bring a little optimism into your life
with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily
podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me,
Simone Boyce. Every weekday,
we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends,
inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys
are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice
that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network,
iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. It's Chelsea Handler. And if you
listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea,
you know that I love making space for women to share their stories.
And that is why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic,
iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change, and create culture.
All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music, and podcasting
will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women
and discuss the most significant issues facing us today.
Search Women Take the Mic
to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes
from iHeart's top podcasts,
including Angela Yee's Lip Service,
The Psychology of Your Twenties, and Dear Chelsea.
It is a great way to support women
and discover your new favorite show.
Listen to Women Take the Mic on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, good people. This is Laia.
Now, for years, we have celebrated Women's History
Month at QLS with a month
of very special programming.
This year, we have three
Grammy Award-winning ladies,
Brittany Howard, Corinne Bailey Ray, and Lettucey.
All three of these artists make music
and write songs that fit many genres,
and each will be discussing new songs and albums.
We also have the incomparable, incredible
Queen of Dance, Fatima Robinson,
who has won NAACP Image Awards, choreographed the Oscars, the Grammys, your favorite Gap ad, and Super Bowls.
You know her from her work with Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and of course, Aaliyah, and most recently, the color purple.
Celebrate women's history with us at Questlove Supreme every week in March.
Listen to QLS on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
We started talking about this incident. Drugs and officials cover up. You couldn't believe it.
From iHeart Podcasts.
It's like the police knew who he was before they got here.
A story about money, power, and corruption.
The medical school dean at USC was leading a secret double life.
Is she breathing right now?
Yes, she's absolutely breathing. I'm a doctor, actually.
There's no way that that guy's a doctor.
I'm Paul Pringle, and I'm an investigative reporter for the LA Times.
This is the story of an investigation
that starts in a hotel room in Pasadena, California, and reaches all the way to the top
of two of the most powerful institutions in the city of Los Angeles. When people fall in line,
they fall in line. Looking back, I realized, oh, everyone knew. This is Fallen Angels,
the story of California corruption. We're always going to have predators.
It's the good people who stand by and do nothing that allow them to flourish.
Listen to Fallen Angels, a story of California corruption, starting March 28th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back!
And we're back!
And we're back!
And we're back!
And we're back!
I know I'm allowed to join in on that.
I just, I was inspired. You are, you are, Sarah.
Sarah, you're just not allowed to read the producer notes, as you would call it.
Oh, right, which I've already done once in this episode.
Okay, hold on, Donald's still going.
No, but you're not high.
You're not high at all, right?
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Sarah, tell everyone
who's listening
about your $7,000 dog
and before you judge everyone,
no, she didn't go buy
some boutique,
fancy, expensive dog.
That was a big evening
for us, too.
What was the evening? What were we doing? Where were we? It was a charity. for us, too. What was the evening?
What were we doing?
Where were we?
It was a charity.
Sarah, do you remember what the cause was?
It was the help group.
It was for autism,
with children with autism.
And it was Jeff Zucker,
who was the boss at NBC at the time.
Who you remember that Donald
infamously gave the noogie to
at our first party.
Please, Donald, no.
Please, Donald, no.
So we were there,
and we were excited.
I think it was like season two.
And season one or season two.
And so we went and Jeff Zucker was our boss and the night was to honor him and his contribution to the help group as well.
And so there was this little chocolate lab that they were having as part of the auction to raise money.
Wait, let me just pause there.
Let me just pause there.
Did they have one dog or several? It was just one.
All right. So I recall it was an auction, obviously, to raise money for autism. And they
geniusly brought in this puppy that was the cutest chocolate lab puppy you've ever seen. It was like
tiny. It could fit in your palm of your hands. And it was probably, I don't know, I'm guessing
10 weeks old and the idea
was you know we're gonna they wanted every and they got everyone like buzzed on alcohol and then
the idea is like all right you guys are gonna bid on who gets to take home this dog and they brought
they brought her around like you're saying to like to get everybody super excited brought her around
and i was holding her this little chocolate brown nugget. She was, yeah, she was like tiny. She was 10 weeks old. And I was wearing a chocolate brown dress. I remember it was
my bridesmaid's dress from my sister's wedding. And so I'm falling in love with this dog. And
then the bidding starts in the room and I'm bidding on her and the whole, I fall in love with her so
is the rest of them. Everyone's going crazy. Everyone's bidding on her. So finally I just gave up because it was
insane. It got too
high. And then the whole cast around the table
you guys all whispered to each other
and then when the bidding came to right before
the ending you all like stood up and put your arms up
and got her for me and
we all split the
cost of this. We each gave a thousand dollars.
Wait, hold on. How long did it take for me
to pay you the thousand dollars? Did you ever pay her? I did hold on. How long did it take for me to pay you the $1,000?
Did you ever pay her?
I did pay her.
Okay.
How long did it take?
I don't remember.
I don't remember, but it just was the most sweetest, thoughtful, touching thing ever.
And she obviously, like, became our Scrubs mascot and came to Scrubs to work every day.
And I loved her so much.
She was very sweet.
I think I paid for Lola like season eight or nine.
I finally gave the money in like.
I remember whenever we had group things to chip in on, like crew gifts or getting something for the crew or in this case giving money to charity for Sarah's dog.
Johnny C would pay you like an hour later.
He'd be like, fast money makes fast friends.
That was one of his Johnny C-isms. Be like, fast money makes fast friends that was one of his johnny
c isms be like fast money makes fast friends and then donald was the polar opposite donald
would be like eight years later he'd be like yo did i ever pay you for the dog
and then i remember i was the one who i was so disorganized i just would never cash the
check and ken would be like sarah you haven't cashed the check yet. Oh, God, I hate those people.
Hmm. Yeah, that's me.
So Lola...
When you went into Sarah's dressing room, I know we brought this up
another time, but it was like
if you've ever seen the show Hoarders,
it was like that, but worse.
It was sort of as if this...
There was like a soup, there was like an open soup
can from two seasons ago.
Like, just, it looked like shit suddenly exploded.
It kind of is like as if this paper –
Then she folded it in a puppy.
As if this pages of notes was my dressing room.
Right.
As if this kind of like rained on notes.
So poor Ken Jenkins is trying to manage his checkbook and Sarah just throws a check for $1,000 in there somewhere.
This can of soup from two seasons ago is true.
My nickname was Soup for Breakfast because I would always have soup all the time and
you guys would be like, oh, it's soup for breakfast.
Who has soup for breakfast, Sarah Cho?
I love soup.
I mean, I have my hot tea right now.
There's always something hot in my hands.
It's like either soup or tea or something.
Yeah, but that's because you run cold.
That's the only reason why.
I run cold.
I run cold.
I have circulation.
This is the first. So Lola lived until she was 14.
Oh, she died?
Lola died?
She did.
Well, dude, she lived until she was 14.
She lived until she was 14 years old.
That's pretty darn good for a lab.
It's been over 14 years, I guess.
Holy shit.
Wow.
It's been 21, yeah.
Yo, this is the first episode that i that orange goo goo orange goo goo orange goo goo
so i think this came from um like this was at the height of the jamba juice
craze yes um which i don't used to drink i don't drink anymore because someone told me that there's
like so much sugar in them and why are you drinking jamba juice but it was probably harley
pasternak that told you that.
Not to diss Jamba Juice if you love it.
It could be a nice treat for you, but it's
a sugary treat. Did you know that Jamba Juice
later on,
Harley Pasternak and Jamba Juice got into
a partnership together and he started selling smoothies
at Jamba Juice? Really?
Remember he used to, we can cut this out,
but remember he used to tell us all the time
don't drink Jamba Juice.
It's got a lot of sugar in it.
He then had his own smoothies at Jamba Juice.
Yeah, but maybe he made a low sugar one to prove his point.
Sure.
Sure.
Sarah.
Sarah.
Wait, everybody, oh, I'm laughing at everyone.
Oh, so when when Ted Wait a second
Oh Jesus
Is this the Grease the Face episode?
No it's not
Yes this is the Grease the Face
No it's not
Did you watch the episode?
Yeah but then he smoked a pot
No I
Come on man
This is the Grease
We don't say Grease the Face
On the show
No
Because the Grease the Face episode
Was when Sarah had to come in looking like really distressed and bad.
She doesn't have that moment.
She comes in with a makeover.
She never has a moment where she looks bad.
Well, they did give her plain Jane hair this episode.
Like everything is accented for the reveal at the end.
Yeah, but there's no moment where she was supposed to look sweaty.
And we teased her saying, come on, look worse than that.
But there's no moment in this episode where she was supposed
to look particularly bad. And I want to hear your thoughts
on your big makeover in this.
I want to know what your thoughts are on this
dramatic, choppy Bob.
Janitor!
I feel like I...
One of the greatest scenes in the episode.
What? That's one of the greatest
scenes in the episode. I'll let you answer the question.
But that scene, I wrote that down.
I really want to talk about the Elliot and Janitor.
We're going to get to that.
But I just want to know, in the macro, what did you think of this big makeover?
Because it's always a lot of pressure when they're like, oh, my God, it's a character makeover.
And you look hot as hell.
Don't get me wrong, coming in with your eye makeup and your bob.
But I just liked, I don't know, I guess I just liked you with your little, you know, your before hair.
I just liked, I don't know, I guess I just liked you with your little, you know, your before hair.
I mean, I remember being, I remember at the time being very excited about it because, like, I remember they had me leave at lunch and I raced over town and this guy in Beverly Hills cut it and then had me race back. And I got to wear my first pair of true religion jeans, which was very exciting to me.
That was like a fancy brand at the time.
It was very fancy.
And then Darla Albright, our awesome makeup artist, put all this like smoky eye makeup on me.
And I remember having fun and enjoying it at the time and looking back i mean i just yeah i guess i feel like you know there was
a line in one of the episodes when bill liked to put truisms into our dialogue that was short hair
gives me pig face and um so yeah so that sometimes i always sometimes i feel like with short hair
gives me pig face i don't think you look the pig face. No, you look beautiful.
You look hot.
Don't get me wrong.
I just, maybe I'm just not into bobs.
Is it a personal thing?
I don't know.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
You looked gorgeous, but I.
Oh, I just, today my Amazon scissors arrived in the mail. I like you now with your like near dreadlock hair.
It really looks amazing.
I think Daniel and Joelle can weigh in.
It's pretty fancy.
So I just, you know, we're in a pandemic,
and I ordered haircutting scissors from Amazon,
and I just was overly excited.
And so I just tried to cut my own hair this morning.
And I literally, like, have only had one person who lives in L.A.
when I've gone back for recordings or whatever I've had to cut my hair.
And so I just kind of was like,
I think Gregory goes something like this, and then he does this.
And then my niece was like, on YouTube,
if you just put your hair on a ponytail, and then you just, like, kind of cut goes something like this, and he does this. And then my niece was like, on YouTube, if you just put your hair on a ponytail,
and then you just kind of cut the top, you can kind of.
So I did it.
I don't know.
How'd it go?
How'd it go?
I don't know.
We'll see.
It's dry now.
So I don't know.
I haven't taken it.
We'll see.
It looks a little bit longer on this side.
If that fails, you can always do the one cut that works for everybody.
You get a bowl, and you put it over your head
and you just cut on the outline of the bowl.
I didn't know this trick.
So if I'm not happy with this result.
It's called the mo.
It's called the mo.
The mo.
From the Three Stooges.
The mo.
The mo.
Okay.
Donald, if I'm not pleased with the results when this dries,
I'm going to do that.
So when Ted turns to Carla and says, so you're engaged to that surgeon girl?
And she goes, yeah.
He goes, is it serious?
No, we swing.
Yes.
So Ted first hit on Sarah last episode because Sarah, in the last episode, you were crying and he's kind of like, do you want to get a drink?
And in this episode, he's trying the Carla angle.
He's just really clutching at straws here.
Poor guy, man.
Judy looked so beautiful in this episode, by the way.
Yeah, she did.
How about when she goes to seduce the,
or at least blackmail the doctor that she hooked up with,
and you're waiting out the outside,
and she comes out and she lowers her top
like she just hooked up with him?
Yeah, and Turk's like like how is that funny let's get to
elliot and the janitor in the men's room yeah so funny janitor that this is the first time we
established that because we don't know his name that elliot decided she's going to call him janitor
and it's always high pitched and it got moreitor! And it got more high-pitched by the episode.
Like, this was the first one that we did that.
And then by season eight, it was like, Janitor!
And it just kind of just, like, higher and higher and higher.
And sometimes we would do takes where it was not even audible,
and we'd be like, they're probably never going to use this,
but how high can we possibly pitch it?
Janitor.
I love that the janitor doesn't even flinch.
He's just like, yeah, as though you said his name.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Neil, in this scene, for some reason, some things like this scene, I remember, like, we shot it yesterday.
It feels, like, so recent.
I don't know why.
And, oh, my God, he made me laugh so hard when he's talking about my grandmother that was actually my mother.
And my mother, my sister, who was my mom.
My grandmother thought she was my mother. My sister was my mom who was my mom. My grandmother thought she was my mother.
My sister was my mom and my brother dad.
Right, my brother dad.
Not just that.
When you say to him and you're like, you know, and my life's pretty much turned upside down.
Do you ever feel like that?
And he goes, nah, because I'm a winner.
Because I'm a winner.
Just the fact that the janitor of the hospital's reply is no, because I'm a winner.
I'm a winner.
I wonder if the janitor, because we never know when he's telling the truth or when he's lying. Maybe because he fancies sarah that he is telling the truth like
we have no idea when he says this brother dad shit if any of it's true if he's just a fucking
total liar or there was my brother dad but i feel like with sarah maybe maybe with elliot he was like
you know truthful i mean i'm just thinking that for the first time well i don't know i think he
was i like to think he was i i I like to think a lot of this is,
a lot of what the janitor tells us is true.
Like when he brings out the cage
at Turk and Carla's baby shower,
when he brings out the cage for the baby,
because he had one when he was a kid.
His parents used to throw him in
when they wanted to, you know what I mean? But we never know. Unless you're cutting to his house, like when he was a kid his parents used to throw him in when they wanted to you know what
i mean but we never know you know unless you're cutting to his house like when he has a squirrel
army and you actually see the squirrel army uh you know you just never know no right it's so fun
to watch neil in these scenes though because he always throws in like obviously the dialogue and
um you know how the writers would write or whatever neil says and he would come up with
something insanely funny on the spot.
But, like, even the stuff he does, like, on this scene where he just, like,
is talking to me and he randomly smells the urinal cake just, like,
in the middle of the line.
It's so odd.
Like it's a good vintage.
It's a good year.
I laughed out loud when you seeott foley in the smoothie place and uh you he says i
thought you hated this place because of the time you got sick here and you go you remember that
and he goes you got sick on my face he's so dry he's great scott foley scott foley is the master
by the way i think scott Foley is coming on next episode.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because that's the SeaWorld episode, and he's down.
Because that's when he forlornly rides a dolphin.
But Sarah, he was your scene partner, so you can speak to this even better.
But, God, no one delivers a straight man line like that guy just you you got sick on my face and he he doesn't break ever yeah
never he doesn't break doesn't break no matter what he just doesn't break he doesn't break
doesn't crack up yeah oh my god so funny all over the floor and then in front of his
new hot girlfriend.
And you're like, and he goes, it's okay.
It happens.
That is really funny.
So you think you're like, oh, my God, this is Sean.
This is fate.
And then in walks like the pretty new girlfriend.
And you just look at her, take one look at her, and you puke all over the floor.
You know, I found it really interesting that after that, they go outside
with the two of them, with Sean
and this new girlfriend, for the dialogue
so that you understand that he still kind of
has feelings for Elliot.
I found that very interesting that they did that.
You know what I mean? What do you mean?
They go outside just to see the joke of her with
no door in her car? Yeah, but there's this
whole setup for that.
And then she drives by and, you know, like he's sticking up for her when she's like,
that girl is such a loser.
He's like, I don't know about that.
You know, she's a sweetheart.
He's saying nice things about her.
And then Elliot drives by with the no door.
And the smoothie's on a roof.
And the smoothie's on a roof.
And you can see then right then and there, Scott Foley again, Sean goes again, Elliot.
He just finished sticking up for her, and she's already blown that.
But he has to tell her that he has the smoothies on her roof, or she's going to be driving in traffic and hit the brakes.
And that's going to scare the shit out of her, and he knows it's going to cause an accident.
So he gives the, Elliot, you left the smoothies on your roof.
She smashes on the brakes. Like they're meant for
each other. They're perfect for each other, dude.
And then orange goo goo all over the
hood of the car. And then you lose the other
door with the car going by.
That was fucking hilarious.
I laughed out loud at that.
I laughed out loud at that. Sarah, you're very funny.
Sarah's cool guy.
Sarah, Elliot's mustering everything she can a cool guy. Like, Sarah Elliott's
mustering everything she can
to look cute and cool
in front of the new girlfriend.
She does, like,
the what's up drive-by
with no door.
And the smoothies
on her roof.
Double frick.
And then, like,
Scott Foley's delivery
when we're in that scene
with the smoothies
and I give some random long
explanation of some dream that I had and he's like,
yeah, I'm doing about the same too.
He's so funny.
We gotta do a show with him.
When we make our Space Janitor TV show,
whenever the next thing is,
we gotta have Scott...
I wanna do something with Scott Foley.
Nobody cares, Sean.
That was so funny.
What do you want to do with Scott Foley, buddy?
No, we should go to break.
We should go to break.
We should go to break.
Do we need to go to break, Joelle?
And what about the guests?
The guest is here.
We can go to break.
I know, but with Sarah Chalk here, it's so exciting.
We have so much to talk about.
All right.
We're going to go to break, guys, and we come back.
Not only are we going to have more
of America's favorite Canadian,
Sarah Chalk,
we are going to have a guest.
And it's very hard to top
last episode's guest, Joelle,
because people really, really love
the guy who had sex at a funeral
while sitting on a toilet.
So I hope that this guest
can top that.
It's going to be a good one.
We'll be right back.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance
to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side
on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
It's Chelsea Handler.
And if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea,
you know that I love making space
for women to share their stories.
And that is why I'm excited to be part of
Women Take the Mic,
iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change, and create culture.
All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music, and podcasting
will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women
and discuss the most significant issues facing us today.
Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes
from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service,
The Psychology of Your 20s, and Dear Chelsea.
It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show.
Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, good people.
This is Laia.
Now, for years, we have celebrated Women's History Month at QLS with a month of very special programming.
This year, we have three Grammy Award-winning ladies, Brittany Howard, Corinne Bailey Ray, and Letticey.
All three of these artists make music and write songs that fit many genres,
and each will be discussing new songs and albums.
We also have the incomparable, incredible queen of dance, Fatima Robinson,
who has won NAACP Image Awards, choreographed the Oscars, the Grammys,
your favorite Gap ad, and Super Bowls.
You know her from her work with Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and of course, Aaliyah, and most
recently, the color purple.
Celebrate women's history with us at Questlove Supreme every week in March.
Listen to QLS on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We started talking about this incident.
Drugs and officials cover up.
You couldn't believe it.
From iHeart Podcasts.
It's like the police knew who he was before they got here.
A story about money, power, and corruption.
The medical school dean at USC was leading a secret double life.
Is she breathing right now?
Yes, she's absolutely breathing.
I'm a doctor, actually.
There's no way that that guy's a doctor.
I'm Paul Pringle, and I'm an investigative reporter for the LA Times.
This is the story of an investigation that starts in a hotel room in Pasadena, California,
and reaches all the way to the top of two of the most powerful institutions
in the city of Los Angeles.
When people fall in line, they fall in line.
Looking back, I realized, oh, everyone knew.
This is Fallen Angels,
the story of California corruption.
We're always going to have predators.
It's the good people who stand by and do nothing
that allow them to flourish.
Listen to Fallen Angels, a story of California corruption,
starting March 28th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
All right, here we go, everybody. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back with the delightful Sarah Chalk.
The wonderful Sarah Chalk.
The glorious.
And here is Adam Berger.
Hi, Adam.
Hey.
Adam Berger.
Hi, Adam.
Hi, Adam.
You got a full house today.
You got a full house.
You got three interns.
The king at this.
Oh, my gosh.
Hi, guys.
How are you, man?
Welcome to the program, Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
We really appreciate you being here.
You must be an extraordinary guest because we had such a memorable guest in the last
episode that Joelle has really upped her game.
And I know she wouldn't follow last week's sex on a toilet at a funeral with someone
who wasn't worthy of following.
That was hilarious.
Can you tell the story that you wrote in to get on the show?
Yeah.
So I teach musical theater at an arts high school here in New York.
Go on.
And I've been a Scrub super fan since it aired.
I'm your guys' age.
I'm 45, and I've been watching it since it aired.
since it aired i'm your guys's age i'm 45 and i've been watching it since it aired and uh in 2008 uh my class my advanced class of high schoolers we decided to do the scrubs musical episode oh my god
that's incredible amazing what and uh so i was obviously i knew the episode really really well
and i didn't you know being a teacher i'm very uh cognizant of you know rights and royalties and
stuff and i'm like well i don't want to even work on this if i don't have permission so i uh And I didn't, you know, being a teacher, I'm very cognizant of, you know, rights and royalties and stuff.
And I'm like, well, I don't want to even work on this if I don't have permission.
So I sought out Jeff Marks, who's one of the composers of the songs.
And he did Avenue Q as well.
And I found his website and I emailed him.
And I didn't really expect to hear back, but he wrote me a very long email, very friendly, basically saying, you know, I didn't write
everything.
Deborah Fordham was the episode writer and she wrote a lot of the stuff too.
But she said, you know, he said, you're not charging for it, are you?
And I said, well, no, I'm, it's just like a class project that we're doing.
He said, then don't worry about it.
Nobody's going to care.
He said, we didn't even publish the music from it or anything.
So I'm a pianist and a musician and i arranged all the songs oh my god
i just so happened to have like the exact right students that year like the right demographics
to do that too and i i'm like i don't know if you guys know scrubs but i'm obsessed with it we're
gonna do this really weird project and i cast it from the class and we presented it uh uh just for
some uh like as a class assignment, people came in and watched it.
It was an absolute blast.
Oh, that is so cool.
What number killed the most though?
Oh gosh, probably Guy Love.
Really?
That's, I mean, I love.
Did you have to censor,
you're the only man who's ever been inside of me?
No, we, we, I'm very,
very lucky that I work at an art school where we can push the boundaries
pretty well.
I don't have anybody really watching over my shoulder to censor me on stuff.
We've done some edgy shows and stuff.
I imagine the teenager probably didn't hold up his fist, though.
I don't remember.
Okay, good.
I would have thought that the number that killed would have been the Pooh song, but that's just me.
That was a hard one to make it as funny i think because you know we're on a stage we didn't
we it was very hard to stage a tv show on a on a theatrical stage so it was a lot of the humor i
think was lost in that but you know seeing two guys up there singing guy love it well that's so
great you know there is there is um a scrubs musical in development, a real one.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I don't even know if I'm supposed to say that, but I'm sure I can say that.
Randall Winston, who we've had on the show and was one of our main producers, our line producer,
I think he was taking the lead on developing a Broadway musical,
taking some of the songs from the Scrubs musical episode.
And then of course,
that's not enough to build a two and a half hour show around.
So then, you know, and of course, you know,
figuring out what the story of it would be.
But I know that it was in the works
for those of you who are interested in that.
Oh my gosh, that's wild.
You could take so many of the stories
and then turn them into the Scrubs musical.
Like the story of where we sang
I'm Waiting for My Real Life to Begin,
we could add that in there.
You could add so many moments
where we sang into the musical.
The other thing I think would be cool
is JD going into fantasy in a musical world
setting could be so fun
because you get so much cool stuff
with set design and everything like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's cool.
And I'm so glad that you seem like a really fun teacher, Adam.
I went to a high school where, a public high school in New Jersey, Columbia High School
in Maplewood, New Jersey, and it wasn't cool to be in plays.
And I did have a great drama
teacher who I liked a lot, but I, you know, I was a self-conscious teen and I was doing all of this,
all of my theater stuff outside of school. I was going to a theater camp. I was doing,
you know, participating in sort of community theater stuff, but I was too self-conscious,
I regret, to be in the school plays. And so I know you're at an art school,
so it's a different world. But I just love it when I hear about great teachers like you who are
inspiring kids to perform. Well, I'm really lucky because, like I said, we get to do some really
cool stuff there. I really try to think outside the box and do weird stuff that no other school
would do so that we don't have that problem of like students only wanting to go out and do community theater stuff that they want to do
our shows every year. So we've, like I said, we've been able to do some really cool edgy
things over the years without really anybody intervening. And, you know, one of the things
we pride ourselves on as a school is that, you know, the whole student body are kind of the
outcasts, you know, they're kind of, you know, the coolest kid at our school is, you know, the whole student body are kind of the outcasts, you know, they're kind of, you know, the coolest kid at our school is, you know,
might be the star of the musical instead of the star of the football team.
That's why, that's why I flourished in theater camp.
That's why I was like, Oh, because I was like,
I was good at being in plays. So I was like the cool kid. I was like,
finally,
I want to go back in time and come to your high school, Adam.
Oh, I get that a lot.
Sarah, did you do plays?
I mean, I know you were a kid actor.
You were working.
But did you participate in any school plays?
I did.
We actually did get to do really pretty cool musicals at our high school.
And I was in Annie.
And they didn't seem to mind that I was tone deaf, unlike some other musicals.
Yeah, but you got rhythm, though.
You can dance, though.
You can dance, Sarah.
We've seen you dancing, Sarah.
I can dance, Adam.
Although all of your dancing turns very sexual quickly.
Can you dance in a non-provocative manner?
I can do the robot that's very non-provocative.
That's true.
Sarah, that is true.
Sarah always starts off, it's always like, and the robot, robot, robot.
Yeah, she's doing it now, robot, robot, robot, robot.
But then the robot always ends up like touching your body and then it goes, booty, booty, booty.
I have known Sarah for 20 years, and when she starts dancing, it's about five seconds before there's like ass, like backing up the ass.
Oops, I dropped something.
up the ass.
Oops, I dropped something.
That just comes from my grade 12 parent teacher, I mean
grad parent event night where we all did
Babies Go Back. It just sort of like...
It just comes out of nowhere.
I feel like if Sarah had TikTok,
if we were all teenagers with TikTok,
she'd be one of those people doing the provocative
TikTok. She would be doing the savage.
She'd be like, I'm a savage.
Snacky, boozy okay okay
one of my favorite i was born at the wrong time guys one of my favorite things from the
from the series is the clip show where they do the entire uh runner of all you guys dancing
in different episodes i mean everybody on that show i don't remember that having we did have a
clip show i i've never seen the clip show but I know we had one. I only know because the thing that's great about a clip show is I think you still get paid for an episode.
But you don't do anything.
You guys will have to do a podcast to do a clip show.
They did a runner of dances.
They did a runner of like, I think they did a runner of you crashing into things.
And I think they did a runner of, uh, Dr. Cox's insults
too. I'm not sure, but they, it was, yeah, it's funny. Well, Sarah and Donald did most of the
dancing because the two of them are very, very good dancers. I, I I'm good at running into stuff
and falling over stuff. I wish I could sing. I, I loved it. And I was in musicals as a kid,
my sister and I went to, um, a musical theater kind of school outside of school.
And we auditioned for it.
And they called and they said to my sister, we love you and we want you to be the lead.
And they said, she said, what about Sarah?
And they were like, yeah, no, we don't want her.
And so she said, okay, then I'm not going to do it.
And she hung up and they called back five minutes later.
And they were like, okay, we really want you
so we're going to take your little sister as well.
So Natasha was the lead
and she was wearing this like turquoise shiny thing
with this long blonde hair.
And I was one of three tigers
at the back that was wearing all black
and I had a tiger mask
and we were just like in the background
kind of side to side with our claws,
didn't have any lines
and I was in heaven.
I was like, I'm on stage.
I am doing it.
I wanted so badly,
Zach,
to get to New York to see Bullets Over Broadway when it was there.
Oh,
I wish you had.
Because I'm a huge Woody Allen fan.
I'm a huge Scrubs fan.
I just,
I was,
and of course my celebrity crush is Betsy Wolf.
Oh,
that's a good celebrity crush to have.
I know.
I saw her in last five years and I,
Me too.
At second stage, right?
Maybe we were there the same night.
Who knows?
Oh, my God.
You can listen to that album if you like musicals.
It's a wonderful show called Last Five Years, and there's a recording of Betsy Wolfe in it.
Bullets Over Broadway was one of the most, you know, I was a theater geek kid, as we're discussing.
I went to theater camp.
I did plays out of college and
off Broadway, but being in a full blown, like big budget musical with a 25 piece orchestra,
I literally, my entrance was literally rising through the stage playing a ukulele.
It was such a surreal, it was like a total kid dream fruition bucket list thing happened.
And I want to do it again one day.
It was just too much fun.
Did you ever mess up coming up on the stage when you were coming up playing that song?
Did you ever come up and be like, ain't I bring?
Well, a couple things.
First of all, for most of you who didn't see the show, the show is happening.
It begins with another number, and then I enter rising.
So I would go down underneath the stage before the show because I was nervous as hell.
And every show, no matter how many we did.
And I'd say hello to the conductor and sort of wave to the orchestra because they were down there.
And then I'd go over to where my lift was, and I'd sort of talk to the crew guys and shoot the ship. And then a light goes on, which means the lift is about to
go. And I would always get so nervous, because it's such a crazy way to enter the stage. Most
of the times in a normal budget world, you're just entering from the wings of the stage. But
here we are at a big budget musical show, and the goes off and I start rising and then you just see like 2,500 people watching you.
And so, of course, there were times when I would totally fuck up the ukulele because I'm not a musician, but I learned to play this one song on the ukulele.
What I later learned was there was a guy in the orchestra pit who was also playing the ukulele.
And depending on how much I was sucking, they would kind of bring up his mixer
or bring down my mixer.
Like if I was really fucking off that day,
they would just bring up the orchestra pit ukulele.
Oh yeah, that's amazing.
Donald, did you ever do theater?
In high school?
I did high school theater.
Well, not high school.
I went to the professional children's school.
So everybody that I went to school with
was like already on Broadway and doing shit like that.
So we didn't really have a theater at the school.
But yeah, when I graduated, I did shows with a theater for a new audience.
I did shows off-Broadway, off-Broadway.
I grew up in Hell's Kitchen, New York, and on 42nd between 9th and 10th Avenue,
there was this whole theater complex,
this theater thing called Theater Row,
and it was a bunch of different... Is that Playwrights Horizons was there?
Yeah, that was there too,
but it was a bunch of different playhouses
and stuff like that.
It's no longer there.
Now there's like a building and stuff like that
with tenants and stuff.
But I remember when I was a kid,
I'd be like, one day I'm going to do a show there.
I wound up doing two shows there.
You know what I mean?
Like it was, it's one of those things where if you grew up in New York City, like I did,
and you weren't doing plays, then you weren't really trying to be an actor because that
was all that was there.
You know what I mean?
That was all, you know, it was either that or it was the one you might get lucky and
get on a New York undercover.
But for that, there were like 2000 people auditioning for one line. You know what I mean?
So, yeah, did I do plays? I did quite a few plays. I came up in a theater. My parents
were part of the National Black Theater in Harlem. And so instead of a babysitter,
I used to have to sit in the audience with, you know,
while my parents performed on stage.
And I remember one of the actors started complaining because, you know,
put me in an audience with a bunch of people.
I'm part of the show now.
I don't give a fuck what you say.
You know what I mean?
Like it started off, it started the first night I was fine.
But once it got to the point where I was there every night, I was like,
oh, I'm in this shit too i'm just not gonna pay i can't imagine you like sitting there quietly that's not the time it was impossible like i would get involved like i would get up
out of my chair and help the actors and you know like at one point they would sit me down next to
one of the actors in the show and i'd be having a conversation with the actor while the show was
going on and one time he missed his cue because he was fucking with me and he got in
trouble for that shit. Like at that point I knew right then and then I was very young. I was like
five, four or five. I knew right then and I was like, I'm going to be an actor, dude. This is,
this is, if it wasn't for plays, I wouldn't be an actor. You know what I mean? I knew right then
and there, this is the life I want to live. I want to be able to do this because one,
I have a lot of fun.
And two,
this doesn't seem as hard as everybody says it is.
And,
you know,
well,
I mean,
in fairness to yourself,
it seemed that way to you because you had a,
your parents were doing it.
You had a natural instinct for it.
You,
you,
you know,
it's, of course it's nature of course, it's nature nurture.
You then nurtured that ability, but you obviously had it in you as a child.
Right.
Well, you know, some people are, I honestly believe that some people are born, everybody's
born to do what they do.
Some people find what they do later on.
Some people find what they do early on, but you're born to do what you do you know
what i mean whether it is to be an actor whether it is to be a politician whether it is to be
whatever you're given a certain set of skills i'm just sound like liam neeson i have a certain
set of skills some some people are assassins right uh but no but i feel like you're given
a certain set of skills,
and it's up to you to take it as far as you want to go with it.
You know what I mean?
Sometimes the gift that you have isn't the gift that you want.
You know what I mean?
And you have to come to grips with that, and that's usually what happens.
But for the most part.
Some people aren't blessed enough to know what their passion and thing is for a long time.
I mean, you were so blessed because it happened to be the thing that your parents were exposing you to.
I was the same way.
My father, you know, was doing community theater as his hobby.
And I kind of like was like, this is a job you can have?
Like, this is something you can do?
But I mean, there's so many people and I feel for them.
I mean, I talk to college kids who are getting out of college and they still haven't found
like their thing and they haven't dropped into something that excites them.
And so I always feel really, really blessed and lucky that I was at a young age exposed
to something that so lit me up.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely, man.
And people like Adam, dude, you're, you're, I have, I have fond memories of all my drama teachers.
Fond memories.
Like there was Kurt.
There was, you know, there was Mr.
Oh, man, what was this dude's name?
It was Kurt.
There was, oh, man, why am I blanking now?
But I have fond memories of the people that taught me how to be an actor.
You know what I mean?
Who I went to classes with, who taught me through whether it was a workshop or a play that I did.
Like, I worked with people that a lot of people didn't have the opportunity.
I worked with, like, Elizabeth Suedos, who recently passed away.
God rest her soul and everything like that.
But I worked with people that did Broadway shows
that were freaking iconic and stuff like that.
And I was looking at it as, I need a fucking job right now,
and not looking at it as, I could be learning
so many great things right now from these people.
And so, Sarah, to answer your question,
yeah, I did a lot of theater when I was growing up,
but it was because I really wanted to get the hell out
of New York City and be an actor in L.A.
Bring a little optimism into your life
with The Bright Side, a new kind of
daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me,
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance
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shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side
on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
It's Chelsea Handler.
And if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea,
you know that I love making space for women to share their stories. And that is why I'm excited to be part
of Women Take the Mic, iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change and
create culture. All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music and podcasting
will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the
most significant issues facing us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of
International Women's Day episodes from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service,
The Psychology of Your Twenties, and Dear Chelsea. It is a great way to support women and discover
your new favorite show. Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, good people. This is Laia.
Now, for years, we have celebrated Women's History Month at QLS with a month of very special programming.
This year, we have three Grammy Award-winning ladies, Brittany Howard, Corinne Bailey Ray, and Lettucey.
All three of these artists make music and write songs that fit many genres.
And each will be discussing new songs and albums.
We also have the incomparable, incredible queen of dance, Fatima Robinson,
who has won NAACP Image Awards, choreographed the Oscars, the Grammys, your
favorite Gap ad, and Super Bowls.
You know her from her work with Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and of course, Aaliyah, and most
recently, the color purple.
Celebrate women's history with us at Questlove Supreme every week in March.
Listen to QLS on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
We started talking about this incident.
Drugs and officials cover up.
You couldn't believe it.
From iHeart Podcasts.
It's like the police knew who he was before they got here.
A story about money, power, and corruption.
The medical school dean at USC was leading a secret double life.
Is she breathing right now?
Yes, she's absolutely breathing.
I'm a doctor, actually.
There's no way that that guy's a doctor.
I'm Paul Pringle, and I'm an investigative reporter for the LA Times.
This is the story of an investigation that starts in a hotel room in Pasadena, California
and reaches all the way to the top
of two of the most powerful institutions
in the city of Los Angeles.
When people fall in line, they fall in line.
Looking back, I realized, oh, everyone knew.
This is Fallen Angels,
the story of California corruption.
We're always going to have predators.
It's the good people who stand by and do nothing that allow them to flourish.
Listen to Fallen Angels, a story of California corruption,
starting March 28th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Adam, do you have a question for us?
I do.
I've got a million of them, but I'll start with... Well, pick one because we're running very long today
because the Canadian is a little...
I was so excited she was going to be here.
Loquacious.
So my question is this.
My all-time favorite episode of Scrubs and probably my all-time favorite episode of scrubs and probably my
all-time favorite episode of any television so is the series eight finale which is just
a perfect perfect episode of television for us fans you know for the way that it wrapped it up
i wrote it i wrote it adam thank you i don't think that's true but anyway
it was interrupting bill it was interrupting Bill. It was interrupting Bill.
But my question is,
you know,
what,
what other shows I wanted to hear from all,
all of you,
what,
what other shows in your,
you know,
in fandom that you,
that you've enjoyed?
Do you feel like the finale?
Absolutely.
I'll go first.
I'll go first.
I call first cease.
Go for it,
Zach.
In the history of television.
And as Donald seemed to be dissing me for early in the broadcast,
I have watched a lot of television.
And in the history of television, there is no contender for best series finale ever.
Don't at me.
Don't, Joelle, don't frown.
Six feet under.
Thunderous applause, Dan.
Thunderous applause.
Thunderous.
Are you turning your keys off?
Donald, turn your key.
I will turn my key.
Only because I've only seen the last episode of Six Feet Under.
No.
Are you serious?
Are you fucking with us or are you serious?
I'm dead serious.
That was a pretty dope thing.
That was a dead serious.
Get it?
That's the only one?
But then didn't see that finale.
No, this has become a theme.
You want to go back and watch?
We've learned, Sarah, the same thing with Breaking Bad.
We learned that he only watches finales.
Yo, I understand.
And I know where it came from, though.
So check this out.
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
When I first saw Raiders of the Lost Ark, we walked into the theater at the very end
when he's coming down the stairs and he's like, those stupid fools, they don't know
what they got in there. And then she turns around to him and says well i know what i
got here come on let me buy you a drink and then they go off and they leave and then they show
the arc being put into this big ass hall right that's the first scene i saw from raiders of the
lost ark now in doing that i still had no idea what the movie was about. Right?
And so I went and watched the whole movie, and then that scene comes up again.
And I was like, oh, so knowing the ending didn't necessarily hurt the story for me.
So from that point on, if the ending is dope, I'll go back and watch the rest of the show.
But if it's some lame-ass ending, fuck your show, dude.
I'm sorry.
Okay, but your story doesn't really hold because you loved both the Six Feet Under finale and the Breaking Bad finale and never went back to watch any other episodes.
I was just too many episodes.
Too many episodes.
Okay.
I'm confused.
But okay.
Somebody else go.
Six Feet Under, if you haven't watched it, is an incredible show.
And the finale is just a masterpiece.
Sarah, you want to go?
I want to go.
I agree with you.
I thought Six Feet Under was bonkers.
I feel like The Office, both British and American versions, had incredible finales.
ER was a million years ago, but I remember thinking that one was awesome.
And I agree with you
adam the the scrubs for now is one of my favorite scrubs episodes that we got to do
i mean it was so cool for us to get to make that episode because bill had this really cool idea of
having every person who had ever guest starred on the show come back. So like that day, everybody was so emotional anyways,
because it was the last episode.
And then to have every guest star,
and then Zach walks down that hallway,
and we got to go down while we were filming that scene
and like just see everybody lined up
for the past eight years.
And, you know, there's a couple people
that couldn't make it, but for the most part,
I mean, all those people made an effort to get there
and people flew in from New York and from wherever they were living or shooting at the time and um it was so
special it was very emotional and i i don't know if you know the trivia adam but it's but it's bill
lawrence playing the janitor oh yes who pulls down the sheet yep um well you go okay joelle go
ahead favorite sarah sarah changed it morph it, and started making it five or six.
So, Joel, the game is when he says best finale,
what's the thing that pops to your brain?
Because that's what happened to me with Six Feet Under.
Boardwalk Empire.
If you've watched all, I think it's five seasons of it,
it's so concise.
And the final scene is like, the whole show is about being in the 20s.
And right at the very final scene, there's the
introduction of
Nickelodeon, which is an early movie
thing that you could pay a nickel
and watch a movie. And it's very
small or whatever. And it totally
changes the game for this old cat who thought
he would never see anything new. And then
there's a twist, and I won't tell you what it is. No spoilers, please,
Joelle. I'm so sorry. It's so
freaking good. Martin Scorsese produced it. It's like
a mid-2000s show. Martin Scorsese
directed the pilot as well. Yes, he did.
He should definitely... Oh, it's such a good series.
But the finale is really good. I will
give no spoilers for Six Feet Under finale other than
to say that you've got to listen to the Sia song
Breathe Me because
it's in there. Be my friend.
Holy shit, is that a great song.
Okay, Daniel, go.
The one that instantly popped into my
head is The Sopranos.
Oh, yes.
Okay, now there was a lot of talk about
people having interpretations. Do you have
your interpretation?
I think that's kind of the goal.
That was the goal.
I think it was David Chase's kind of the goal. That was the goal. I think
it was David Chase, right? David Chase is the... Yeah. So David Chase, that's what he wanted to
have happen, kind of with the ending of La La Land, with the twist top at Inception. You want
to defy the convention of putting a very concise, nice bow on and allow people to keep the story
just in their heads for so long.
And I'm certainly of the people who think, again, no spoilers,
but I think the ending is relatively clear.
I think we all know what happened.
But I like that that is left to the imagination.
And I will also never forget watching the finale with my father,
being downstairs.
We were both just gripping the couch, counting down the minutes being like this show's gonna be over shortly this show's gonna be over shortly like what's gonna happen and then in those that final minute of whatever
the show is trying not to spoil or both of us just like i think you can spoil the i mean yeah i guess
the ending doesn't happen but like it just cuts or not the guy dies. It just cuts.
Hard cut.
Don't stop.
Hard cut.
For 30 seconds of just black screen.
And both me and my dad are just like,
Did the cable go out?
And then executive producer.
I love a hard cut to black.
Don't fade out your show.
Love it.
Yeah, produce the whole thing.
No, I mean, I'm just a sucker.
Whether it's theater or film and TV, I don't like a fade. Like blackout or hard cut to black.
End that shit.
Feel you.
Now, I'm going to be cynical and say the reason I think he's alive is there's no way that they didn't have plans to make films eventually.
Unfortunately, James Gandolfini died in real life,
but I don't think there's any scenario
where they didn't daydream about making films.
So I'm just going to throw that out there.
I totally, can I tell you something?
I totally accept that as a like,
but you know how it really goes kind of studio thing.
When people were talking
about avengers and how like are they really dead like are they really gone people like no they're
not gone they have more movie deals like obviously spider-man's not gone blah blah blah i mean you
know obviously that changes now because of you know you know r.i.p chadwick but like i think
it's very reasonable to look at that and say you think they were really gonna end the show there
you think they were really gonna end it the show there? You think they were really going to end it there?
Whether or not the movie deals coming afterwards
would have been prequels or whatever, blah, blah, blah.
I think that's totally fair.
But I still love that finale for this exact reason
that we're talking about it.
All right, Donald, you're up.
I'm embarrassed by my shows because you guys don't...
I don't watch the same type of television shows you watch,
but my favorite finale so far, wow, in television shows?
That's tough.
That's tough for me.
I'm sorry.
It could be sports, like the last game of the Knicks.
I'll tell you what, in terms of television moments,
those are some of the greatest of all time.
Any last second shot.
Game 7 buzzer beaters are just like.
Is there a particular Game 7 buzzer beater you like, Donald?
No, no, no, no, no.
You know, I'm one of those cats who is really heavily into a certain genre.
And so I'm sure my favorite episode finale has got to be like the Rebels.
The Rebels finale was pretty dope, actually.
Yeah, it was.
Joelle agrees.
She got a woo.
And now that Clone Wars has come to a finale, I like that finale.
That was pretty good, too.
But yeah.
You don't have to be embarrassed that it's animation.
You seem like you're like shy about it.
Well, you guys are all sitting here like six feet under,
and The Sopranos, and oh, God, Boardwalk Empire.
Oh, and let me tell you something.
That's Scrubs finale.
And then I come up, and I'm like, the rated 14 show.
Well, you don't want – you've said you don't watch that much narrative TV,
so there you go.
There's nothing to be shy go. I don't.
All right.
It's time for America and Canada's favorite segment.
Sarah, you haven't participated in this yet.
So we're really going to need you to represent.
You need to represent your nation.
Adam, it's time to fix your life.
All right, Adam, we've helped a lot of people here.
And by a lot, we mean no one. But anyway. No, we've helped a lot of people here. And by a lot, we mean no one.
But anyway.
No, we have helped people.
Do you hear back from people?
No.
No, but I have heard.
You know what I have heard?
I've heard people say on my social media, hey, that advice you gave so-and-so actually really helped me with something, like the whiteboard stuff or our stuff about trying to lose weight
or even helping last episode's guy with an issue with his kid.
So I don't know.
Maybe not.
But this goes to so many people across the world.
I like to think that something we say might register with a few people,
and they go, ah, maybe I will try that. So Adam, Adam, you're up.
Okay. So the, uh, you know,
the last six months have been crazy for everybody. And, uh, you know,
I had two really fantastic jobs in the arts.
I was so lucky to do exactly what I want to do. Uh, and you know, uh,
I've got a great wife and three little boys
and just everything is, you know, great. And then the pandemic hits and the theater that I work at
shut down and my classroom is gone and I'm doing it online. And all of my little boys are doing
their schooling online. And it's just, you know, I'm in perfectly good headspace. I know there's people suffering a lot more than me who are not
Getting paid or who are not, you know
They get you know, they have severe mental health issues because of this but what but it is very tough
And I've never in my life kind of experienced these moments of like, oh my gosh, I can't you know, keep it together
What is what is anybody's?
advice for just staying sane,
uh, with the country being where it is right now and, uh, no end in sight.
How old are your boys? Uh, I have, uh, three of nine, the, my oldest just turned nine and I have
a five-year-old and a three-year-old. Wow. You guys have your hands full. I mean, to be at home all day, everybody's home.
Yep.
That's really good. The best advice.
Sarah, do you have any advice for, what do you, what do you do? I think the best thing with advice
is to say what works for you. So Sarah, you've been in a very similar situation. She, for a
while, I don't know if you're still doing it, she was cohabitating with her sister and their kids.
So how do you stay sane, Sarah, with all the mayhem of COVID
and having to help your kids with homeschooling and all that?
Well, I don't know if you would say I'm staying sane.
I mean, I just cut my own hair with my scissors that arrived in the mail.
So that's debatable.
But I think the best advice I was given,
and it's really hard to take the advice is just take it day by day because I,
that you can do. That's totally doable. It's when you go like, I find myself bargaining all the
time going, Oh yeah, I can fully do this for six months. Okay. Okay. Fine. Fine. I can do it for a
year, but just not two. Okay. Two years, but that's fucking it. Not a day more. And so I think like,
if there's a way to try and find ways to stay in the moment, in the day, only what's in front of you.
That has helped, I think, like, especially with kids.
I mean, I have a 10-year-old and a 4-year-old,
and I am officially homeschooling them, which is brand spanking new.
I've never done that before, and we made the decision to do that.
The schools have opened up here now, but we're keeping them home so that everyone can stay safe and healthy.
And so one thing that we found that's really cool that someone recommended to me is something called outschool.com.
And you can go on there and do like anything your kids are interested in.
Like if you just need a break, it's like sign language class or like sketching DC or a debate class
where you debate like
Marvel versus DC characters.
And so we're doing that.
Another thing we're doing
is trying to like
farm out a few things.
So like, you know,
have my uncle portal in
and do a class on something.
I can come in and teach
a class on something, Sarah.
Yeah, I'm you're just
you're going to be doing that.
Yeah, hit me up.
Hit me up on Hit me up.
I'm hitting up on that.
And now a class with Uncle Zach.
And Daniel and Joelle and Donald.
I'm going to need a class also.
And Adam.
I'm going to,
I'm going to,
I'm going to respectfully,
I'm going to respectfully decline
and say I don't want to teach
nobody's kids.
I know you do,
but Donald,
you need to teach us
the stop motion animation.
Your stuff is amazing.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that,
but I'm going to respectfully decline.
I don't want to teach
nobody else's kids
but my own right now.
I shouldn't be
having to teach
my own kids right now
to be honest with you,
but I'm helping with them.
You know what?
I don't.
Why don't you go
and say how you're teaching.
First of all,
I want to give a shout out
to all the teachers out there.
Yes.
With all respect
and all kidding aside, let's give a shout out to all the
teachers out there who are actually teaching their kids online and teaching the teachers that are
actually going into schools and teaching their and teaching students there too let's give a shout out
to them because you're absolutely right you are on the front lines and you are doing work that is
very important you are teaching tomorrow's leaders and you're doing it that is very important. You are teaching tomorrow's leaders.
And you're doing it with a fucking really bad handicap.
You know what I mean?
And so shout out to all of you out there who are doing it.
What are we doing to stay safe?
I mean, to stay sane.
To stay sane.
One, stay safe.
Two, that's really difficult. You know, we live in the Valley and in the Sherman Oaks area.
And, you know, Los Angeles was hit really hard with COVID.
And, you know, for a really long time, I kept the kids inside and all we did was watch television and stuff like that.
And that really wasn't that wasn't an ideal thing for us to
do but recently we've found ways to go to parks we've uh potted with a couple of families so the
kids have friends to go play with and stuff and uh the way for us to stay safe is try to be as
normal as possible in these abnormal times uh and without crossing the line and not being safe.
So that's how we're going to do it.
Well, for example, I see on your Instagram you got your kids into golf,
which is something you like and they like.
So that's a thing you can do outside of the house together as a group that's fun for everybody.
That's something you do, right?
Right.
Well, yeah.
as a group that's fun for everybody.
That's something you do, right?
Right.
Well, yeah, I mean, there are very few sports that you can do where there's no contact or you can socially distance.
And so as a family, yeah, we got into golf.
We go over to Zach's house when he's not home and we swim.
You know what I mean?
But it's tough.
Adam, I'm going to be honest with you, man.
This is one of those things where it's like where you can find your happiness and where you can find your joy you grab onto it and you
freaking hold it tight and you and you and you live in that space until this is over because
it's not like that we can go outside and just do whatever the heck we want right now
that's not something we can do i like that you didn't curse because he's a teacher that was
really cute um my My respected coming.
Yeah.
He was like,
but first of all,
when do you ever not curse?
But because he's like a high school teacher,
we're like,
heck,
heck.
Yeah.
I'm going to add them.
I'm going to say something that might be tricky for you.
Tricky for you because you have kids.
And,
and that is that meditation has really helped me.
There's a lot of different apps that are out there.
I'm just going to shout out Headspace because that's the one that's worked for me.
And if you're listening and you go, I'm not going to fucking meditate.
What the hell is he talking about?
I guarantee you that all you need to do is find 20 minutes.
They actually even have shorter ones if you can only find 10 or 15.
But I think 20 minutes is what I've noticed I get the most out of it.
So I know, Adam, I respect.
I don't have kids.
I know it's tricky.
But if you can have your wife take over for 20 minutes and you go hide, even in your car,
wherever you can get your bedroom, wherever you can be, and just sit and listen to this
app.
And they have different programs.
It can be for anxiety.
It can be for insomnia.
It can be for relationships. It can be for insomnia. It can be for relationships. They have
like theme, theme, theme packs. And, um, I have found when I do that every day, 20 minutes in the
morning, it really does keep my anxiety and my stress levels lower. It's, it's noticeable.
And if you do try this, don't go try it once ago. Oh, my brain was wandering all over the place.
Fuck that thing. No, like anything, it takes practice. It's like, don't go try it once and go, oh, my brain was wandering all over the place. Fuck that thing.
No, like anything, it takes practice.
It's like you're not going to go and try and play golf with day one and suck.
It takes practice.
But little by little, your mind does quiet.
And then ultimately, you're kind of sitting there.
And of course, it wanders a little bit.
But you bring it back and you focus on your breath.
And it's made a noticeable difference in my life. So there you go.
You're welcome, Adam. You're welcome, Adam. You're welcome. Thunderous applause for us, Dan.
We fixed it. Adam, thank you so much. Thank you for being an educator. Thank you for,
thank you for being there for young people and for inspiring them. And I'm sure the kids don't
tell you enough, even though you
might have nice kids, but I hope the kids, I hope that you get that you're making a difference in
their lives. Well, if I could say one more thing, I hope you guys understand how important your
podcast is. I mean, I, I, this came about almost right as COVID started, as you know, and I, I've
started taking walks in the morning, uh, uh, before the kids are up just to, you know, get a little bit of exercise and just to get out of the house.
And so I've been taking walks and I listen to the podcast.
And I never really understood the expression that something brings a smile to your face.
I always thought it was kind of a metaphor.
But when your podcast comes on and that theme song kicks in and like a smile comes to my face,
I don't even realize that I wasn't smiling until it happens. It's like Pavlov. It just,
it comes up and bam, I'm smiling on my walk every single time.
That makes us so happy.
That makes me feel.
Entertainment is our savior right now.
That makes us so happy. And you know, E! News, the very fancy entertainment
station agrees with you. I don't know if you said that you heard that we were a very, very popular podcast. No, but thank you. I have to confess to you that, you know, Donald and I and Joelle and Daniel, we listen to the episode back and make edits. And so I sometimes listen to it while I'm walking my dog.
seen people um write on our social media is like oh my god i'm laughing out loud so hard people are looking at me and there's times where i'm listening to the to our early version the draft before we
edit it and i'm and i'm walking my dog and i'm sitting there fucking laughing out loud at us
and i know that's shameless because i'm laughing at us but anyway it makes me so happy to hear that
it's making a difference in people's lives so thank you um Adam. And we're going to let you go now. But thank you so much
for coming on the show.
Thank you, Adam.
Thank you, guys.
Keep up the great work.
Bye, guys.
Thank you.
Thanks so much.
Be well.
Oh, Joelle,
that was such a wonderful guest
in a different way
because no,
he wasn't banging on a toilet
at a funeral.
Oh, God.
But he was a wonderful teacher
who inspires the youth.
Inspires the youth.
He gave you a musical.
Yeah.
I love it.
That's really cool.
And the fact that he, like,
wrote the music to it
and figured it all out
on the piano
because that didn't exist.
That's so cool.
Let's talk about,
first of all,
Laddie, the x-ray tech.
Pirates of the Caribbean.
He's in Pirates of the Caribbean?
He's the one that hangs out
with the dude
whose eye keeps popping out.
Is that true?
Yeah, it's true. Sean Whalen. Sean Whalen.
Joelle, will you double check that? Do you know where I know Sean Whalen
from? This is a really good piece of trivia.
Where? Do you remember
one of the best ads of
the last however many years
when the guys had too much peanut butter
and he's like, Amber! Amber!
They call him from the radio show and he's got his room is surrounded with trivia and memorabilia about Aaron Burr.
And the radio show is calling him and they go, for $1,000, who is the man who shot Alexander Hamilton?
And it's like his moment to shine because it's like his whole life is dedicated to Aaron Burr.
And he calls, and he just ate a peanut butter.
Aaron Burr!
Aaron Burr!
And they're like, we're sorry, sir.
We're going to have to let you go.
Anyway, hilarious ad.
You can watch it on YouTube.
That was Sean Whalen.
Was he also in Pirates?
Joel Monique.
He was in all three.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's him.
But it's, sorry, is Sean Whalen spelled different?
W-H-A-L-E-N.
Like a whale.
Laddie.
And then, of course, the My Machines guy.
My Machines.
My Machines.
My Machines. They used to play! My Machines! My Machines!
They used to play that over and over and over again.
Where?
On set, man.
Sound used to play that.
These are my machines!
Oh, really?
Over and over.
I remember that.
Just like out of nowhere.
These are my machines!
Because he says it so good.
If you listen to the way he says it, it's a great read of a yell that's not really –
he's yelling, but he's not out of control yelling.
It's a controlled yell.
Anyway, loved it.
He's very funny, and that was a funny bit.
And then, Sarah, I love the montage of you tearing your you know, tearing your kitten poster off the wall.
And then putting it back up.
And then putting the kitten poster back up.
And then putting it back up.
Like, I'll destroy my room, but that's like one step too far.
But no, not only.
Get the cat poster back up.
But you destroyed it.
You like ripped it up and then you tape it with like black duct tape and shit like that to put it back up.
I love that that's like Elliot's room.
I know your room was so bubble gummy.
I know.
And she's hugging a teddy bear.
Where did you get the money from to have all of that when your parents cut you off and stuff?
Remember?
Like all of a sudden.
I feel like that's from when they had me back still on.
I was still on the,
that's like,
it's like frozen in time.
It's like Elliot's things from when she was 12.
Right.
All of the,
all of the,
yeah,
yeah.
I guess she took all of her tchotchkes from her,
from her youth.
She got cut off.
Right.
Well,
that was,
that was really fun.
And it's cut to Tom Petty,
American girl.
And,
um,
raised on promises.
Yeah.
I join in, but nobody would appreciate that.
Finally gets her hot, sexy, scrubs chick entrance down the hallway.
The classic from the feed up.
Smokey.
Smokey eye.
Slow-mo.
Slow-mo.
And then how about alone?
I thought another funny thing that made me laugh was when everyone's kind of just doing their own thing because they can tell when Kelso's coming because of his nose squeak.
And now Cox has fixed the nose squeak, but they don't know.
And they cut to everyone just being lazy.
And the janitor is giving a Loma a massage.
Back her up.
Back her up. Giving Aloma a massage. Back rub, yeah. Give her a back rub.
I didn't know until this moment that the janitor and Nurse Roberts were close enough for him to be giving her a –
And it's like the choppy kind of like the chop, chop.
Yeah, the chop, chop.
That's amazing.
Or when Aloma says to me, I'm going for a vice, and she goes, it's also because you're very white.
Yes. She goes, why's also because you're very white. Yes.
She goes, why do you call me marshmallow?
Is it because I'm soft and sensitive or something?
She goes, sure.
It's also because you're very white.
And then Sean comes in at the end.
Oh, heartbreaking.
Damn.
And you're like, damn.
Damn. And you're like, damn. Damn.
I didn't see.
I'm at the point now where I don't see JD and Elliot getting together, though, on the show.
Even though I know what happens at the end.
It feels like at this point in the show that the two of them getting together isn't a isn't a
possibility they don't they don't they're not on the same page anymore so at the end when sean when
he says to her you look beautiful and then sean steps out i didn't see that coming i didn't see
jd reacting to her the way he reacted and i knew sean would come back but i didn't see
that happening well i mean it's interesting because not only is J.D. attracted to Elliot Anu, obviously because she looks great and she's done this makeover, but it's also because he's turned on by seeing her be a badass.
Right, she's so tough.
Finally fucking being tough and standing up for herself.
Right.
And he's like, holy shit, this is a new woman.
Who's this woman?
I'm intrigued.
Then all of a sudden, fucking Scott Foley, Nobody Cares Sean.
Comes in in a blue tight sweater.
Yeah.
When did Nobody Cares Sean come in?
Oh, it's in his first episode that he said, Nobody Cares Sean.
When we're at the, yeah, is that when we're at the, where are we when you say that?
No, it's his very first episode he's in nobody cares sean i forgot when
by the way just to clarify something um the my machines guy is lee aaron berg that's the guy
who's in pirates um i was talking about uh sean whalen and that's the aaron berg commercial guy
who plays laddie who's a different uh x-ray tech he's the one i lie on top of naked because he he
wants to get a an x-ray that looks like
he's x-rayed a Siamese twin.
Remember that? That guy is hilarious.
He's in so many commercials.
That's the point I'm making. That's the guy.
That dude's in everything.
He's been in a lot of commercials.
Lee Ehrenberg is the one you're thinking of who's in Pirates.
Another funny moment
is Johnny C when he's with the prison inmates
and he's asking him to keep the photo of his son. That's so random. I never said, why is Johnny C. when he's like with the prison inmates and he's asking him to keep the photo of his son.
That's so random.
But I never said why is Johnny C. showing people pictures of his son.
Why would you ever?
Not only did he bring the picture, he has it out.
Like he's showing every prisoner he's giving a physical to.
Because he misses his kid.
I do have to say I got goosebumps when we finally figure out that it's familial Mediterranean fever.
I'm such a sucker for those moments where we as young doctors go, Eureka, we got it.
We figured it out.
I mean, it's funny.
I'm watching us, but I gave myself goosebumps.
I love the fact that Dr. Cox takes the credit for it at the end, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Right after he says it was all you guys yeah right after he says that shit but um yeah i i didn't understand
that's the one thing i didn't understand the whole episode he's telling you not to rely on him
but he's relying on us the whole episode he's's saying to us, don't rely on me.
I'm not going to be here for you all the time.
Don't rely on me.
But he's relying on us to come up with this diagnosis
so that he can go into the room at the end
and take all of the credit for it.
Well, I think maybe that's sort of what Bill's doing
in the writing in season three.
It's going to start being a tit-for-tat,
yin-yang, if you will, situation
where there's going to be times where we're helping him look good.
And he's, of course, going to be saving our asses still.
And we're getting a little more experience where we can become a little more closer to being his peer.
No, I totally understand that.
But it's a great psych out because here you are thinking that we need this guy.
We need this guy to help us.
We need this guy.
We need this guy. And at the end of help us. We need this guy. We need this guy.
And at the end of the show, we didn't need him at all.
He actually needed us so he could go tell these people the next day, this is what's going on with your patient.
This is going on with my patient.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I just thought it was, that's a great, I like when shows do things like that.
a great i like i like fake i like when shows do things like that when it's like you think that you know the mentor is there to support the obviously he's there to support the cast but
really in the grand scheme of things he doesn't want to do it because he doesn't want to do the
paperwork and i mean not the paperwork he doesn't want to do the the work that it takes to to to
diagnose the patient he just wants to credit at the end and he doesn't have the time i mean
he's got so much on his plate and he kind of you know he's still keep in mind he's still even though
he's aggressive and confrontational he's still our teacher so he's like you guys got to do the work
you guys got to stay late and figure it out and then of course he he you know gives them love
good work that guy's good get and then he goes and takes credit for it because that's him.
Right, because it's his –
And then he's the big cheese.
Did we ever go – do we ever recap that –
like one of the funniest parts of this show is when you go in at the beginning
and you're like, I know everybody so well.
I know what they're going to say.
And then you're like replacing Donalds and Chudys and Johnny sees dialogue.
You put your earbuds in.
I love that part.
You did a good Johnny.
Thank you, sir.
What's that, Donald?
He did a good Johnny. You honor me. He did a good Johnny. Thank you, sir. What's that, Donald? He did a good Johnny.
You honor me.
He did a good Johnny.
You honor me.
I'm sorry to steal Dan's What You Talking About Willis again, but I really liked it.
Take it.
You honor me by taking it.
I'm going to take it, Dan.
I won't use it on the podcast that much, but I'm going to start using it in my real life.
Brother, I hope you do.
Do I honor you by taking it?
Most certainly.
You honor me.
You were deservant of the compliments.
Donald and I have a special announcement.
Just so you all know who are listening, because the DMVs are all closed, or I think most of them are, a lot of them are, and other reasons because of COVID, voter registration is very far down.
Apparently over 2 million down from what it normally is in a presidential year.
So Donald and I are teaming up with a cause called Headcount.
Now, what I want you to do is watch you when this podcast is over.
You can go to our social medias where we will have links to this.
But if you don't want to go to social media or you're not on social media,
you can go to headcount.org backslash Zach and Donald.
Now, what's going to happen?
You are going to register or just check your registration.
If 1,500 of you do this, drumroll, Dan, insert a little drumroll there.
I'll do it with my mouth.
Let me do it with my mouth.
Thank you.
If 1,500 of you go and take this action, that is either registering for the first time.
You can stop the drum roll, Donald.
Sorry, sorry.
Thank you.
Either registering for the first time or just checking that you are in fact registered because a lot of people get purged every year.
1,500 of you do it.
Donald and I will do a video where we teach you how to make an appletini.
Yo.
And then we will drink said appletinis.
You don't even like appletinis, Zach.
Hold on a second right now.
What's that?
I thought you didn't even like appletinis.
I don't even like it.
I don't mind vodka, but I will drink them for America.
Wait, hold up.
I think we should make a real appletini, though.
Not the generic where you get the freaking puckers
and you just pour the puckers into the...
Okay, you want to get gourmet.
I think we should get freaking straight-up mixologist on this bad boy.
Well, we have Flo, who's a chef. She can help
us with that. Okay.
She knows how to mix drinks, too? Oh, yeah.
Does she ever? Let me tell you something.
You guys, I got inspired by Flo, actually, because
she did one of these, and
she said to her
followers on Insta and Twitter,
if 500 of you register
or check your registration,
I'll cook a Sunday roast, which is a big traditional British meal.
She registered 7,500 people.
Damn.
What?
And you guys, I'm competitive, and I need you to help me beat my girlfriend, okay?
So all Donald and I are asking is for 1,500.
If it ends up being more than that, then that will be great, and we'll all feel wonderful about it.
This is nonpartisan, so don't get your panties in a bunch. For $1,500. If it ends up being more than that, then that will be great and we'll all feel wonderful about it.
This is nonpartisan, so don't get your panties in a bunch.
This is just trying to get people to register, okay? And trying to get people to vote.
Right.
Don't get all political with this bullshit and be like, you guys are so political.
No, we just want you to vote.
We want you to vote.
We want you to vote, Civic Daddy.
It's your civic duty.
It's your American right to vote.
So go now, okay?
If you're listening to this, wherever you are, you're going to either go to our social media on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook if that's easiest for you.
If not, go to headcount.org backslash Zach and Donald.
Don't do this somewhere else because we want credit for you checking your status or registering.
We want credit.
I did it just now. Super easy. Okay. Thank status or registering. We want credit. I did it just now.
Super easy.
Okay.
Thank you, Daniel.
That's one.
We have one.
Gotcha.
Dude, we are halfway there.
Well, no, we are.
We're not.
We are one, one, 1500th of the way there.
What's the address again?
Headcount.org backslash Zach and Donald.
Or if it's easier for you, go to our social medias on Instagram.
It'll be in our, our bios on Twitter.
We'll both be tweeting it out and please help us beat all Samuel Jackson did it.
We want to beat him too.
Josh Gad just did it.
So we are going to teach you how to make an appletini.
That's just the most perfect one
and then he and I, because we're in the same pod at this point,
we can be together and share
a cocktail. Okay? We are going to
share cock
tails.
It sounded dirty no matter how
I looked, dude.
We are going to share... Listen, let me do it again.
I'll make it even more sexual.
We are going to share. Listen, let me do it again. I'll make it even more sexual. We are going to share some cock tails.
Wow.
You made Sarah laugh.
I am so excited to share some cock tails.
I don't like it.
I cannot wait to just have some of your cock tails. I don't like it. I cannot wait to just have some of your
cock
tails.
All right.
Sorry.
Joelle's getting
skeeved out.
You know,
it's going to
taste great
going down my
throat.
Oh,
my cock
tails.
Joelle,
I think they could just keep doing this
for another 45 minutes.
I don't think it's going to get less funny to them.
Zara, you are laughing, so don't tease us.
I don't, yeah.
I laugh for eight years.
I know, this episode is nine and a half hours.
We haven't sung happy birthday to Joel yet.
Oh, also it's Joel's birthday.
Is it today?
Save it for next week, October 1st.
So a week from yesterday.
Okay.
And Donald, we have to talk about Joelle's present.
And also, we never got Danil a present, so we need to give out two presents.
Stop that.
No, you do.
No, I reminded myself when I was looking online for Joelle's present that we never came to
give to Danil.
We can totally give them some cock tails.
Tails.
How about this?
How about...
I don't feel comfortable making this joke with Joelle.
It's inappropriate.
But Dan, I will give you so much cock.
Tail.
You honor him.
You honor him.
All right, we got to go.
We love you, everybody.
Please do the head count thing.
I want to crush everyone.
I want Sam Jackson to say to his publicist,
holy shit.
Sam Jackson say to his publicist,
holy shit.
Who are these
motherfuckers? Okay, good.
What's your secret goal?
What's your secret goal? Well, Flo did
7,500. I'm sure it's higher than that, but I would love
to be able to say, ha ha, Flo, we did
7,501. But I'm not
aiming that high. That might be
too high. All I want for now is 15.
You get the prize of the video
of cocktails if you do
50 1500 of you check your registration or register for the first time come on everybody i want to
let's do it i want to try and do my sam jackson one more time okay how did these motherfuckers
beat me no it's better yes yes i like no i'm not kosher i just don't dig on swine. This is a tasty burger.
Great scene.
All right.
Headcount.org backslash Zach and Donald.
We love you all. Bye-bye.
Six, seven, eight. I got a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loves to hate. I said he's got stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
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