Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 304: My Lucky Night with Robert Maschio
Episode Date: October 13, 2020On this week's episode, Sean learns that Elliot and JD used to date. In the real world, the number one requested guest for the show Robert Maschio finally makes his way on the podcast! Learn more abo...ut your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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What's up, motherfuckers? How y'all doing?
You really like that shirt, Donald.
You really like my dude no
do you have uh multiple versions of that shirt or is it your go-to i know you have other colors
because when i saw you for our uh appletini session you had we're wearing it in a different
shade tell us about this shirt donald i'm a huge fan of fighting. I am a huge fan of mixed martial arts. And this store, Super Rare, but shout out Super Rare, they have uh rash guard shirts and and pants and like just a bunch
of things they have gloves they have boxing gloves they have you know grappling gloves they have
pads they have everything it's a but then not only that the gear your workout gear is fly as fuck
like this is just a shirt that says Super Rare on it.
They got gear with Biggie Smalls
on it. They got gloves with the
Coogee
pattern on it
for Biggie Smalls.
They got a bunch of things. The store's amazing.
If you're into fighting...
If you're into fighting, go to
Donald's favorite store, Super Rare.
Did you guys, Daniel and Joelle, watch us make the Appletinis?
It was a huge hit.
I did.
Your fans are so cute.
The comments were flying.
Really?
We obviously didn't see them because my girlfriend was filming for us, so we didn't see any of them.
I was going to say, we threw out a couple messages, but it was just a...
Listen, here's the thing about that. I know that a lot of people watched it when i put it in my
stories or when i put i'm sorry when i put it on my instagram page but i don't know what the actual
live feed was like how many people did we read i think at one point there were like 13 000 watching
or something that's amazing that's i don't know it was fun donald we haven't
done something like that live like i mean i don't know if we haven't done an instagram live like
that probably ever no but we've done it where like you've been on live and i've you know oh yeah
but i'm saying like a plan and we were like donald got there early and we like rehearsed we like
i love it shit i'm not recording i to say, when you took off your shirt,
Donald,
it was really popping in the comments.
People were excited about it.
Casey jumped in there and that made me laugh.
She got there late
and she was like, what is happening?
Where is your shirt?
She told me that. She was like, I asked
where's your shirt. You didn't answer me.
I was like, babe, I was shooting.
I was on the screen.
Babe, I was in the zone.
My favorite part of the video is when –
How do I know?
My favorite part of the video when I was like,
Don, you promised the people that you'd be both stoned and shirtless.
And he's like, give me a second.
And then he goes in the other room and takes off his shirt.
I was surprised that people were all right with it.
I was surprised that people were all right with me wearing an apron and just the Hershey's kisses.
Of course.
They kept saying you look swole.
Happy with it.
They were thrilled.
S-W-O-L-L, swole.
What does that mean, guys?
It means buff.
Very strong.
It looks like I could lift some shit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you look swole.
And then I had my favorite comment that I did see was someone said, wow, Zach, looking good.
I need to get a Peloton.
So I like that.
You know what I saw a lot of was, wow, Zach looks really young.
That's what I saw a lot of.
Maybe it's because I'm so self-deprecating on this podcast saying that I look old and everything.
And then when people saw me doing a live video, they were like, okay.
And then when people saw me like doing a live video, they were like, okay.
No, you know, I honestly believe that you choose pictures of yourself that make you look very distinguished and stuff like that.
And so when people actually see you in motion, they can't believe how young you are.
You know what I mean?
Like there's certain pictures of people and you see them and you're like, wow, that person looks old as fuck.
And then you see them in motion and you're like, that person looked younger than I had thought.
A lot of people said I looked like John Ritter,
which I thought was a compliment because I love John Ritter.
John Ritter's amazing, dude.
And also very handsome.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was.
Anyway, it was a lot of fun.
And thank you for all tuning in.
It's not over. You can still go to headcount.org
slash Zach and Donald and check your registration
or register for the
first time. That's still happening.
I appreciate people saying that I
didn't look like Uncle Phil, even
though I tremendously
respect the man and
Uncle Phil was one of the
dopest father figures in the history
of television, period. I appreciate that people said I looked like Donald Faison and not Uncle Phil was one of the dopest father figures in the history of television, period.
I appreciate that people said I looked like Donald Faison and not Uncle Phil.
You looked great.
And you looked swole, which is a new term I'm going to use for you.
All right.
That's what's up.
No, your arms are big.
I know that you-
But so's my belly, baby.
Yeah, you admitted you're not eating your best, but you still have muscular arms.
And shoulders.
Look at the shoulders.
Yeah.
Are you doing weights?
Is that what that's about?
You know what it is?
I've worked out for so much of my life.
I think once I started doing Remember the Titans, I've worked out pretty much my whole life.
I'm not eating right, but I've worked out damn near every day, whether it be basketball, whether it be lifting weights, whether it be boxing, whatever it is, I've worked out.
Since the pandemic, not so much.
And so I'm now out of shape.
Like I used to be chubby and in shape, like I could run and I could jump and I could do all of those things.
Now I'm chubby and can't walk up the steps without being like, damn, that was a long walk.
I hear you. I hear you.
I hear you.
Well, I've been spinning, and I'm feeling good about it.
Feeling good about it.
Cutting some weight.
Getting rid of these love handles.
Hell yeah.
Good.
Good for you, man.
And I will join you as soon as you know.
Okay, so listen.
Don't doubt me all you want.
I love it when you doubt me.
Hey, listen, everybody.
It motivates me.
I wanted to say to the audience, you asked and we delivered.
We have a very special guest on today's show,
the Rob Macchio.
High five, Todd.
I mean, I think he's been one of our most requested guests,
and I wanted to let the fans know we came through.
We came through for y'all and on that
note let me give you just a little bit of five six seven eight stories about a show we made
about a bunch of docs and nurses in a canada who love me i said here's the stories
that we all should know So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our
Scrubb's Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald
Welcome back, y'all!
Let's let Rob in.
Let's let Rob in.
I haven't seen Rob in how many years, Donald, since we saw Rob?
At the reunion.
Oh!
Oh, my God. Serious yes how are you guys doing rob excellent i have so many questions for you the fans were dying to have some rob machio on the podcast i'm sorry it's
taking so long but everybody everyone's like when is rob machio coming on You are the most requested, the most requested guest star of Fake Doctors
Real Friends. I'm flattered. What can I
say? Listen, quarantine life,
it's been crazy. It rocks, right? But my
bedroom, that's where I really operate.
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
Did you not know Rob was coming in character today?
Rob.
Here we go. Rob's coming in character today. Rob. Here we go.
Rob's always in character.
Rob.
We should have a drinking game, which is how many high fives and innuendos can I make in the next, I don't know, 18 minutes.
There it is.
Here we go.
Rob has just introduced.
Rob, tell me.
Let's start at the beginning.
Okay, Rob.
Because this is what we like to do
with everyone who's a who's a cast member of the show I I do want to preface it by saying Donald
and I have been laughing so hard at you we're we're now um in in the beginning of season three
and you crack us up on the show you know that we I don't even think we realized how funny you are
I mean I knew you were funny but a lot of the times we laugh out
loud, it's at the fucking shit that you
say. Did you know, did you
know when you were doing it that
you were making this character?
This character's
iconic now, man. The high five Todd
is iconic. I mean,
you guys are very kind, but it was all in the script.
I mean, it's really Bill who created the part
in the pilot episode, it says,
Jockey frat boy surgeon,
and he's got cut-off sleeves and a doc tattoo.
That's all the clues for the character you need right there.
Right.
That's everything you need.
I just played it to the nth degree.
Although I did bring the magic with the banana hammock.
We're going to talk about everything.
Well, we're going to talk about that.
We're going to get into the banana hammock and everything.
I want to let everyone...
Oh my god.
You're on fire.
You're on fire.
Rob, we have
so many questions, including we're going to get
to how many socks you were putting
in that banana hammock to make it seem
like you were girthy. But I do
want everyone to know right off the bat that Rob's on Cameo.
We've mentioned this before.
And so you can get Rob.
If you go on Cameo.com and look for Rob's name,
he'll send your loved one a video.
Rob, tell them some of the weirdest stuff you've done.
Have you done proposals?
And have you ever had to be in a banana hammock to do it? They asked for that,
but that's extra, guys.
Nobody wants to see
a middle-aged man in a banana hammock.
Well, maybe some people do.
I think a lot of people do.
Fetish is real, baby.
But what do you mostly do? Is it birthday messages?
What do most people ask you to do on Cameo?
It's been a really interesting
experience.
I could never have foreseen this.
Since the pandemic started, I have shot over 1,000 Cameos.
Oh, my God.
People are reaching out for something right now to take their mind off what's going on in the world.
And they're just reaching out for comfort, comedy, anything.
And people are apart so they're like
i can't go to the wedding but i want to send this message from you to like at the wedding or or a
birthday and so it's been like so it's been all over zach like in the beginning it was like
essential workers my husband is staying in a hotel he doesn't want to bring the virus back to us
and then it was like i got laid off and then then it was like I've been quarantined for six weeks and I'm losing.
So like it's really I've watched this whole COVID-19 based on the cameo requests I get.
Oh, that's interesting.
It's been fascinating.
It's been really fast.
Well, I just think, you know, people you made so many people laugh and it's a great thing
to do for people.
So if you have someone, whether they're in the medical profession or not, Rob is is obviously able to do it and i'm gonna get one for donald um rob well i would
like him in i would like him in his banana hammock so you're gonna have to pay the extra i got a new
one for bill and krista bill and krista are big howard stern uh fans and there's one of the
whack packer regulars on howard stern his name is high pitch eric and he's got of the Whack Packer regulars on Howard Stern. His name is High Pitch Eric, and he's got a very high-pitched voice, obviously.
And so I went on Cameo because they let me stay with them in Malibu one time recently,
and I got a message, and he was like,
Hey, Bill and Krista, this is High Pitch Eric.
Zach wanted me to thank you for letting him stay.
And I don't know.
He just went, but it was, I mean, since they're genuine huge fans of the show,
it was amazing. So I support it. I love't know. He just, but it was, I mean, since they're genuine huge fans of the show, it was amazing.
So I support it.
I love Cameo.
Dude,
you got,
I should say,
Tracy Morgan
to get on the phone
and do Brian Fellows for me.
Yes,
but that wasn't
long before Cameo.
That was in real life.
Yeah,
in real life.
You were at the
Saturday Night Live thing
and Tracy Morgan was there
and you guys were obviously
had been out partying.
You're like,
Tracy,
Tracy, this is what I hear in the background. What a good friend had been out partying. You're like, Tracy, Tracy.
This is what I hear in the background.
What a good friend I was.
Tracy, do it.
And I hear, I'm Brian Fellows.
What?
He goes, I'm Brian Fellows.
And then he hands the phone back to you.
And I was like, what the fuck was that?
And you go, that was Tracy Morgan.
He just did Brian Fellows for you. Didn't he also say to Sarah to you. And I was like, what the fuck was that? And he goes, that was Tracy Morgan. He just did Brian Fellows for you.
Didn't he also say to Sarah Chalk once, he was like, I want to put a baby in you.
You look so good, I want to put a baby in you.
Yo, he got some of the best sayings I've ever heard in my life.
That orange juice looks so good, I want to take it behind the school and get it pregnant.
Oh, my God.
Not very 2020, Tracy.
All right.
Now, Rob, tell us, we always like to ask people when they come on,
because the fans love this stuff, like how you came about getting the role.
We know a little bit that you were buddies with Bill.
You played basketball with him.
But tell us kind of like the evolution of how you got the role.
Well, I walked into a room, and there were three banana hammocks on three chairs.
And they said, which one do you want, small, medium, or grande?
I went for grande, and they said, you're highest.
That was it.
So you're saying it was solely based on cock size.
You were not higher.
It was all about girth.
It was all girthy.
They were like, listen.
They were like, the first audition, we just want to see if you're funny. Now that you're funny, we want to see your girth. All was all girthy. They were like, listen, they were like, you're the first,
the first audition. We just want to see if you're funny.
Now that you're funny, we want to see your girth.
I met Bill 10 years before Scrubs.
I had come out to LA from New York and I had been, you know,
I was a theater guy from New York and I was doing standup comedy every night at open, open mics. And I got six months in, I got so bored with it.
And I went and auditioned for a play and it was a play he wrote and he asked me in
this play it was a four-character play and we did a play that's how we met so I
had met him ten years before and you know when you do a play with somebody
it's just like it's a bonding experience and we became friends after that and and
he has seen me in those ten years audition for every comedy that was ever made
like i auditioned to play joey on friends will and will and grace i was the talk soup to be the
host three times the daily show and he would like live and die he'd go nash did you get it
and like for 10 years he watched me like be a struggling actor in new york and in la and when
the time came he's like you, there might be this part,
and I think, but you have to come back
out to LA. And so I came
back to LA, you know, having gone back and
forth, and he just kind of
wrote this part for me. So the answer to your question
is I did not audition to play the Todd.
He always envisioned coming up with
something for me, and it was a good compliment
to Turk, who's a surgeon. He needed
sort of a jockey
frat boy dumber surgeon right who thinks he's got the gift of women yeah next to Turk who actually
it turns out is the best surgeon in the hospital well in the hospital idiots of aunt who know you
know no remember I don't rob do you remember when they go when Dr. Wen says that you're the best
because you because when you go inside your head you're the best? Because when you go inside your head, you're not distracted.
All you're thinking is, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, tiny scalpel.
That was a cameo.
Sometimes people ask me on cameo to just sing that song to them.
They literally ask for that song, and I just make a long version of it for them.
People know more about the show than we do, I think, when it comes to the show.
Oh, I know.
Trust us.
We know.
We meet them.
Have you been on Scrubs Wiki yet?
No.
That's the web page that I always reference to find a little trivia about each episode.
Rob, didn't Bill give you a car or something?
What's the story with you guys in some fancy, sexy car?
When I was in New York, he's like, come back to LA. And I was like, I really, I just got with
this good agency in New York, the Gersh agency. And I just was really like in the loop on things.
He's like, you really should come out. And it's like one night I was like, Bill, it's just like,
I didn't want to come. I wanted to stay in New York and try and do theater and stand up.
He's like, I have a car in storage. Come come out at least you have a free car for six months until
you get on your feet so he had a car like a red mustang ford convertible like oh shit that was
his car and he gave it to me that great yeah eventually i bought it from him but he gave he
lent it to me for the first six months and i remember every time I would turn the car on I'd
Be like, oh shoot. That's gonna be $200
But there was one scene when I I did this like
That was I used to always drive that car and that's what it sounded like when I was hitting a bump
How my car was rocking when I took this girl out last night
hitting a bump.
Like I was actually told how my car was rocking when I took this girl out last night.
And that was the car he lent me.
And that's where that joke came from.
When I first got to LA and got my car,
I remember being so broke that I was like,
I'm going to take it out of gear when I'm,
when I'm going down,
it was,
it was stick.
I want to take it out of gear when I'm going down the hill.
I don't even know if that legit lowers your gas consumption or not,
but I did it. I would like, just be like, we're, we're drifting down the hill. I don't even know if that legit lowers your gas consumption or not, but I did it.
I would just be like, we're drifting down this hill.
We are not in gear for this hill
because let's just take all the gas we can get.
Dude, I remember when I moved out to Los Angeles
and they gave me five, the Clueless, the television show,
gave me $5,000 to relocate.
I found an apartment in Hollywood.
I had to pay first and last month's rent.
I had literally no dough after I got my first apartment.
I was lucky enough to have a roommate who moved in with me, and he bought a television.
And so we had a tiny ass television for the first couple,
you know,
for the first month until I got my first paycheck.
And my mom used to send me money so I could eat.
That's how broke I was when I,
when you have a motorcycle,
when you first around here.
No,
I got a motorcycle.
So after clueless took off,
I had a bunch of friends move into the house with me.
Right.
So like cats from New York moved out to Los Angeles and we, it was like five guys, one house. me right so like cats from new york moved out to los angeles
and we it was like five guys one house we partied like fucking rock stars we threw some of the
dopest parties in black hollywood you know what i mean we were doing it big like i'm you think i'm
joking but like people like taraji p would be you know before she was famous all of these people
before they were famous would hang out at me and my roommate's house.
And I was the one paying for the house because I was on Clueless.
Anyway, my buddy had a motorcycle and he always looked dope when he would come to set to hang out with me.
This was back when I had an entourage.
So he'd pull up on the Paramount lot in a motorcycle with a drive-on pass.
And I'd be like, that's the type of energy I need to be on.
You know what I mean?
And so I bought a motorcycle.
And I was riding.
I rode it around for a little bit.
And one night, and I was doing stupid shit.
Like, I didn't have a license.
I took the test.
And I got to the point where I knew how to ride the bike.
I could put it in any gear and everything like that.
But I was stupid and didn't want to go get the license, right?
I see.
Oh, no.
And so I'm out and about, and I'm on,
I lived in Los Feliz at the time,
and I'm on Los Feliz Boulevard,
and I'm doing stupid shit like going in between cars
and going in between cars on the sidewalk,
like dumb shit, like the dumbest shit you could imagine.
And I'm going, and I go through an intersection and a car makes it so I can't go in between the
sidewalk and the street. And I go up on the curb and the bike falls, but Los Pilos Boulevard has
a bunch of grass. And so I skid out on the grass, right? And so I'm'm like i get up off the bike and i stand up everybody's like are you
okay i'm like i'm fine i put you know get back on the bike and i you know ride it home and i never
rode it again after that i never rode a motorcycle i never knew that story because i knew whenever
you see me on my bike you kind of shake your head and uh and i knew that you had some sort of
my accident yeah it wasn't it was
a minor accident but it was still one of those things where it was like and i didn't have like
i wasn't bruised or anything luckily my bike was fine and everything like that but it was so close
like that's how close you get to death you're so close to death and you're still alive without a
scratch and you get so close like that it's like i don't want to do it anymore it's just like when
we were in saint bart's and they were telling us don't go around the boats real fast
on the jet skis and what did i do i went around the boat real fast on a jet ski and almost crashed
into somebody like on a little speed boat and i fell into the wash and you know how you could feel
the propeller well you can't you don't know because this doesn't happen to most people but i could feel
the propeller moving by my head as i'm going underwater on the jet ski and popping out.
So, you know, yeah, man.
That's as close as I got.
I've gotten really close to death a couple of times.
And once I learned my lesson, once that happens, I don't want to fuck with it anymore.
So with that motorcycle, that was a wrap.
All right.
Well, that's good.
And also you have lots of kids.
So I can understand also.
I didn't have a lot of kids at the time. I didn't have a lots of kids. So I can understand also. It's like you said.
I didn't have a lot of kids at the time.
I didn't have a lot of kids at the time.
I know what I'm saying now.
Remember when I gave you the scooter, Sasha Gray, you didn't want to ride it.
And I think it may be because you were in your head about having so many kids and trying to be a responsible father.
No, man.
It's just that I put that bike.
Once I did that, I'm scared for my life, man.
Like, you know, I did stupid shit on that bike man like
things where i was like i should have never when i got my motorcycle my first motorcycle i was
really excited and i just happened to meet coincidentally that week after i bought it
and got my license and feeling so cool a uh heart surgeon and i'm making small talk with him because
you know we were talking about scrubs obviously and other stuff and i go i i gotta ask you just in layman's terms how does that how does a heart transplant work i just can't
get my head around the heart is still beating like just can you say like in layman's terms like how
you do that he goes well yeah after the motorcycle accident we um we harvest the heart i'm like wait
wait sit down what do you mean he goes oh yeah we call them donor bikes because they're usually men
and they're young and it's a great heart that's where we get most of the hearts and i'm like, wait, wait, wait, slow down. What do you mean? He goes, oh, yeah, we call them donor bikes because they're usually men and they're young and it's a great heart.
That's where we get most of the hearts.
And I'm like, oh, fuck.
I was like, donor bikes?
Holy fuck.
So, yeah.
But you still ride.
I do, but I'm very conservative.
I don't go on the freeways.
I don't ride at night.
I don't ride even if I've had a sip of alcohol. I mean, you know, it's all about risk management. Of course, it's still
dangerous, but I'm very, very conservative with it. But you also fly planes though. Do you fly
single engine planes or double engine planes? I'm not current now, so I haven't flown in a while,
but when I was into it and owned a plane i was flying um by myself a four-seater
single engine uh place a cirrus yeah all right that's equally as dangerous as you yes so dangerous
i had a few moments up there alone like oh shit this might be the moment did you really well yeah
i had a few times where the turbulence was really throwing me around and I didn't think that I was going to crash or anything, but it was really scary.
And air traffic controller had said to me, like, you know, so I started to descend and he had said to me, hey, let me know when you're going to descend.
And I just did it without talking to him because it was a little hairy.
And he kind of barked at me like, hey, I thought I, you know, told you to tell me when you're going to start descending.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm getting rattled around up here a little bit.
I'm doing my best.
And then I happened to find a guy who was nice and understood.
Because sometimes they don't even give a fuck.
They're just like, obviously, it's a hard job.
They're trying to keep everybody safe.
But yeah, I had a handful of times where I felt a little oh, shitty about it.
Oh, man.
Like, oh, shit.
Well, if you have a two-engine plane, if one of the engine goes No, man. Like, oh shit.
Well, if you have a two-engine plane,
if one of the engine goes out,
you still have the other engine.
Yes, but it's very hard to fly.
Some aviation enthusiasts will say the second engine only flies you to the crash site.
Because you can imagine what that's going to do to,
as you have to compensate for one engine,
it's very tricky to fly on one.
I mean,
yeah,
ideally that,
that,
that can,
that can save your life,
but you have to be a darn good pilot to fly with one engine on one wing with
the other one out.
But let's talk about Rob Maschio.
Yeah.
Let's talk about Rob Maschio on the show.
Donald,
do you want, Rob, I don't even know if you listen to this program I love it, I listen to it while I work out
Alright, good
When I run on the beach, yeah
I try to put my glasses on for a minute just to see what you guys look like
Yeah, this is what I look like
You look good, you guys both look good
That's Daniel and Joelle
I can't see anything without my glasses
Alright, Donald, will you do the
famous America's favorite 47-second summary of our episode?
And you ready?
Do you want to loosen up your lips, mom?
You made me mash my M&Ms.
Lips, the tip of the tongue, the lips, the tip of the tongue, the lips, the tip of the tongue.
All right, here we go.
And on your marks, get set, go.
Dr. Cox is up for a promotion.
He wants his work to speak for itself, but isn't sure he'll get over the hump without the help of Jordan.
Carla jumps at the opportunity to work with Turk in the OR, thinking the two of them together will make a dynamic duo.
Turk's not so sure about that.
will make a dynamic duo. Turk's not so sure about that. Elliot and Sean's relationship is threatened by Sean's new job, and JD is in desperate need of Dr. Cox's signature. Money makes you do things,
things you're not proud of, things that hurt people, things that frustrate you so bad that
it causes relationship issues. But it also motivates. The hustle is powered by money.
issues, but it also motivates. The hustle is
powered by money. Some feel money
solves all problems, and it's true
you can do a lot with money, but
you can't buy happiness.
Yes, 46 seconds.
Very nicely well said. Snaps.
By the way, Joelle, I've been snapping
because of you. I like it.
Oh, yeah. It's nice.
It's a jazzy feel to everything.
I like it. Instead of clapping, I snap like Joelle.
Like this episode was weird because it took me like, it took me a while.
I had to sit and think about it.
What is this episode about?
What is everybody's motivation in this episode?
And everybody's motivation in this episode is a better way of life with money.
You know what I mean?
Cox, Turk, and Carla.
Well, you're not looking for more money.
Well, I guess indirectly you are you're
looking to grow as a better surgeon um well right well that's the that's the outcome of of the of
of you know realizing how powerful carla and turk are together that's turk's outcome but
in all honesty they're the whole motivation for everybody in this is to make extra money.
Turk and Carla for
the wedding.
Jordan and Cox for
the baby and all of that stuff.
Sean's bouncing to go
make more money at this new job he has.
And you want to get this...
I forget what it is. Is it a
fellowship? What is it that you need the
signature for? I don't know what it is. I don't know.
But for me,
I,
it's also about this episode is about pride.
And it's also about jealousy.
There's a lot of discussion of jealousy,
particularly amongst,
you know,
the love triangle of Sean and myself and,
and Elliot.
That shit was hilarious,
by the way.
What?
The shit with you and with Elliot, Sean and freaking and Elliot. That shit was hilarious, by the way. What? The shit with Elliot, Sean, and freaking
JD.
It's not like
he knows me really well
or we have inside jokes
and then they're making out and you call and leave
a message and you're like, hey,
it's your great uncle,
it's your aunt Sally, whatever it is.
This is your aunt Sally. whatever it is and then it goes again sally
yeah i want to tell you that i and they're like ah just kidding just kidding uh
so and so says ronk ronk or whatever like all these inside jokes right right it was hilarious
dude but i mean it's hard you know poor there's a lot of um moments i think where particularly in that love triangle where
there's where there's jealousy you know jd's sitting there being a fifth wheel as as the
woman he realizes he really likes is making out with her boyfriend you're happy with carla jd's
like the fifth wheel you know i felt i felt bad for him i i looked at it like this is gonna sound weird i was like holy shit this is like
real life this is like when we used to go out and zach would be single and i'd be with casey
and sarah would be with her uh guy at the time and we'd go out and you'd be the single one
yeah the single fifth wheel just staring at sarah being like kill that fucking guy
i'm just kidding hi guys i gotta tell you i saw it totally different than the both of you
i thought this was such a strong episode oh nobody's saying that it wasn't we're not saying
it's not a strong episode i thought the relationships and it was the beginning of
will you guys get together or won't you i thought it was really well done i thought like all three
relationships commented on each other i thought it was really structurally in terms of the writing
it was i thought all the main characters like you really all shined there was also a funny
runner with a riddle and the janitor yeah yeah the episode has this is one of those ones that
has a few really memorable things that fans love. First and foremost, that riddle people always love.
Great, great.
Two coins add up to 30 cents.
One of them's not a nickel.
What are they?
The hair met.
People love the hair met.
I'm going to scrub my hands and do a scrub my hands dance.
Scrub my hands and do the scrub my hands dance.
That's huge.
Another major thing is you doing your Aaron Neville impression,
which we've learned is not as good as mine, but
you know, it's good.
Even when you listen to it on the show,
you know when I'm doing it.
It's alright.
It's alright, but it ain't
Zach Braff's.
I know in this show
it's confusing because sometimes people are like,
is he doing DJ Khaled or is he doing Aaron Neville?
But it's a really glorious impression.
There were some other things.
Oh, like a baguette.
Like a baguette.
Like a baguette, yeah.
All right, we'll go through.
We'll go through.
We'll go through.
Let's go through.
Yeah, and Rob, you know how it goes.
Just chime in any time you want to say something.
I took my notes.
I got my notes for everybody because I usually watch Thinking About Me,
but I really wrote notes for everybody else.
Good, good.
Because I'm so happy to –
I love how you said I watch for me, meaning that you –
even when you're not going to be a guest on the podcast,
you watch the episode and take notes about your own stuff
so you'll be able to listen.
Well, there's an iconic – there's a sterile high five in this episode
that people still ask me.
It's so relevant today.
It's the only CDC approved high five
along with them.
Well, this episode was notably directed
by John Inwood,
who was our cinematographer
for the whole run of Scrubs.
No, not the whole run.
Up until season... Well, up until the very end, maybe.
Yeah, eight. So this sort of starts
to happen in season three.
Some people like... So our editor had
directed, but this was our DP's first
episode.
I also always remembered
this joke that Johnny C says at
125. If they took porn off
the internet, there'd only be one
website left, and it would be about and
it would say bring back porn yeah this is really interesting this is before all of these social
networks were around also so like this is like the early beginnings of social networking and
stuff like that so i remember perez hilton and all of you know and and now he was the biggest entertainment uh website
there was at the time when we were making when we were doing scrubs and stuff like that now there's
so many of them now there's like you know a bunch of them that I wonder what there was was there
myspace yeah myspace myspace was around but it was crashing all the time at this point you know what i mean and and emailing
was kind of you you know we were emailing uh but it wasn't as you know people had aol at this time
and yahoo and stuff like that zanga and live journal you know what i mean yes like this is
this is this is a time where you know a lot of the things that we're dealing with a lot of the uh hardware that we have right
now didn't exist we didn't have iphones at this point we you know we had cell phones are just
starting to be really used like like clueless the movie you know what i mean clueless was so
far ahead of its time that it's like five six years seven later, that people really start using handsets.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember my MySpace page.
I was super into it.
Did you guys do it?
I didn't do MySpace.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't do MySpace.
Back in the day, for sure.
Yeah, MySpace was fun.
You could pick your song, and they'd come to your page,
and there'd be a song playing.
Oh, man.
I didn't do MySpace.
I didn't do Black Planet.
I didn't do any of those things.
All those things were like in the infancy of social media now most people if you're savvy enough you only use social media to make money whereas back then it was just like oh i'm
gonna go on myspace and put a song on it was just seems so much more innocent than it is now well
yeah and i think people weren't as mean i mean now now it's just like the wild west of mean people.
So we're going to take a quick break.
I agree with you.
I was going to say before we go any further.
Let's take a quick break, and when we come back,
we will get into the most interesting topic related to Rob Macchio,
and that is his banana hammock and how he maintained his physique.
We'll be right back.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance
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shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side
on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Imagine you ask two people
the same exact set of seven questions.
I'm Minnie Driver,
and this was the idea I set out to explore
in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven
questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch
you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it.
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.
He died of a brain tumor.
It's part of what happens when your kid dies.
Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault,
but you'll still feel guilty.
Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more.
Join me on season three of Many Questions
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Seven questions, limitless answers.
Professional dancer Cheryl Burke
has been part of Dancing with The Stars since the very beginning.
26 seasons of the samba, the rumba and the cha-cha.
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She knows all the secrets, the behind-the-scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting.
It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans.
We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe.
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Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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And we're back with Rob Mascio.
So, Rob, tell us about the banana hammock.
You must have had to work out a lot because you were in great shape.
I do remember you told me once that you ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day.
Was that the case?
I think during those years I was constantly starved or deprived of sugar,
so maybe I might have eaten a lot of ice cream too.
How old, in all honesty, because you always look young, you're very, you're Italian.
So you got that olive complexion and your skin is smooth and everything like that.
I don't know if you're Botoxing or anything like that, but you're looking good still.
Thank you.
How old were you when we were making scrubs?
57 years old. Well, I was, you know, MILF status, 34 turning 35 on the pilot.
So now I'm 54 today. So I'm GILF status. You look great.
You look great. GILF 5. GILF 5.
So you. GILF 5. GILF 5, you know.
No, but that's like like grandmother I'd like to fuck
yeah but Rob's character was into that
I'm 54 now guys
it's okay
you're not a grandfather
you're the age that
are you single Rob?
I'm single so I can date women anywhere from
50 to 60 years old
do you have an account on one of the websites that people who want
to date you could find you? Are you on Tinder
or something?
No, I'm too busy. I don't have time for that
stuff. I don't really have time.
Because we're trying to get something going
with Joelle where we're trying to find her.
But I'm thinking about
you. I feel like if you were
on one of the big websites, we could just send
really a lot of traffic to your way.
But you're saying you're abstinent.
You're not interested.
Well, I mean, first of all, it's quarantine.
There hasn't been a lot of bone fishing in the year 2020,
let's face it, for anybody.
It's been very tricky.
It's been very tricky.
It's been very tricky out there.
You've got to be careful.
You can't just, you know.
Of course.
You've got to know what watering holes. You have to know what watering holes to bone fish in. You've got to be careful. You can't just, you know. Of course. You've got to know what watering hole.
You have to know what watering holes to bonefish in.
You've got to be careful.
Yeah.
You've got to be careful, Rob.
Well, at least there's internet porn,
and you can just take things into your own hands
and make sure you're safe.
Oh, my God.
What?
Well, it takes two hands.
It takes a village.
It takes a village.
But we know it takes two hands with you because we saw him. No, he said it takes two hands. It takes a village. But we know it takes two hands with you because we saw him.
He said it takes a village.
He said it takes a village.
When you first were put into the fire-covered, blaze-covered banana hammock,
what were your thoughts?
Were you insecure about showing your body on TV?
I mean, obviously you're in good shape,
but it might have been intimidating coming onto set
with just a little banana hammock.
Well, there is a quick story
because it's the first time we ever did that.
And I really brainstormed with Carrie Bennett,
the costume designer, about what we were going to wear
because I come out of the shower with a rat.
I try to rat tail you.
Yeah.
Right.
And if I don't have anything on,
that scene's not going to make it into the episode. So tried to rat tail you. Yeah. Right. If I don't have anything on, they're not,
that scene's not going to make it into the episode. So we really like had meetings like what,
and she went to West Hollywood and bought like 20 different sort of bikinis.
And I tried them all on for her.
And then at some point we settled on the flame cause it matched my, um,
your hat.
And so on the day, so I literally guys, this is a true story.
Went to the weight room downstairs, took like a grip, put it on.
And then looked at it in the banana ham.
I thought, Oh, that's too big.
No one is going to believe it.
And then I took it off, cut it in half, put it back on.
I was like, no, still too big.
And then we're about to shoot the scene.
And I stuck my head out the window, out my dressing room door. And I sawandall walking by and i said randall come here come in here and i brought
randall winston into my dressing room and i said take a look at this does this look
what he said what what what are you talking about and i said oh i'm sorry he doesn't understand like
i'm all like made up oil pumped up to do this banana hammock. I'm wearing this grip
on my penis. I pulled
my banana hammock down and showed him. I said,
do you think I need this or is
this enough without it?
Wait a second.
You're talking about the
foam thing that goes on the weight bar.
The one that you put
on your neck when you're doing squats.
No, no, no. He said on the bar.
Oh, oh, oh.
So you took it off, you cut it, and then you put it like a hot dog bun around your penis?
Yes.
Yes.
I really wanted a laugh.
I really wanted a big laugh on that.
How long did you do this for?
The whole run?
Wait, wait, wait. Was this a run? Wait, what did Randall say?
What did Randall say?
Because he's a gay man, and you're oiled up,
and you take out your penis, and it's got a little koozie on it.
What did he say?
Randall solved it for me definitively.
Randall solved the whole thing.
He looked at me and he said, no, Rob, I think you're enough just the way you are.
Or at least I like to think he said that.
So in the end, I didn't wear anything the entire run of the show.
But for that first time, it was the cut of the brief that makes the man.
It wasn't necessarily the package.
Right.
But did you feel the onus before cameras rolled to give a little jiggle to get some blood going down there
no i think at that point i just wanted to have a real funny moment with you because you are you
had a serious scene going with elliot and by the way she's in a bra and she looks tremendous and
like there's no chances are no one's even going to notice me unless i did something big because
she looks so hot and you did but donald and i talked in an earlier episode about how i
was meant to be lying in my boxers uh on a bed and i didn't want i didn't want it to be like
oh ridiculous like like you know i'm jammed a sock in there but i also didn't want to look like a ken
doll so i remember being like i should give this all this whole a little package a little shake
shake shake just so it's you know there's a little blood this whole package a little shake, shake, shake.
Just so it's, you know, there's a little blood.
There's a little freshness going on down there.
There's a little blood that's like, hey, am I needed?
And then you roll real quick.
Did you do that, Rob?
That's what he's trying to ask.
Did you masturbate before you put on your banana hat?
No, not masturbate, Donald.
Just get shit moving a little.
Did you touch yourself?
Self-fluff?
A self-fluff.
Did you fluff before the banana hammock?
Sorry, Joel.
This is the last question, Joel.
It was really, I owe it all to Carrie Bennett.
She picked out the perfect cut of a banana hammock,
and it wasn't necessary because it pushed everything up.
You are a gentleman
you are a gentleman rob talking about your junk because if it were me i'd be like yo that was all
me dog that was all me you know what i would do yo you know what and you know what i didn't even
have to touch it son that's how i come i woke up like this son i woke up like this, son. I woke up like this. Well, if it was you, we all know that there wouldn't be any need for any shake, shake, shake.
All right.
Now, Rob, you're aware, of course, that when we moved to ABC,
they were unable to continue shooting you below the waist when you were in your bed.
No banana hammock after that.
Did you know that, Rob?
Yeah, I knew that because it was disappointing because on that Bahamas episode, it was so funny.
That was one of the best.
Yeah.
A lot of people don't know that.
The Bahamas episode was Rob, when they cut to Rob walking on the beach, he's walking in his banana hammock.
Yeah.
And the banana hammock goes up your butt and everything.
It's like thonged out and everything.
It was so funny.
And it was so funny.
But ABC.
Yeah, when we moved to ABC, because they're owned by Disney, I guess, or whatever.
They had different standards and practices, obviously, than NBC.
And they were like, no, you're not putting that on television.
No, Rob's banana hammock was so, I'm going to use the excuse I'm going to give, it was so
big that they were like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
I think also it was clearly
a penis. It wasn't like, oh, that's a bump.
I think you could see
outline of shaft.
And balls, yes.
ABC did some weird things like
they just made you say words like boobies instead of boobs.
It seems somewhat arbitrary.
Their standards and practices.
Just like a full cut of somebody wearing a banana hammock,
it's just funnier than like a crop.
So like I was all about like what's the funniest visual thing on everything I did.
You know, so it was disappointing that they cut that, but who cares?
Tell us about the tattoo, Rob.
How was that applied?
Just a little bit of Rob trivia.
Was it a stencil kind of thing?
You know, people to this day, they tweet me and they ask me if it's real or if it was fake.
And so I always answer to them that it's whatever you want it to be.
And they're like, I knew it.
I knew it.
Truth of the matter is,
they love it.
But I've made,
I've had some made,
thousands of these.
And I used to give these out at Comic-Cons,
these Doc tattoos.
Right.
Because this is exactly the way the stamp was.
And then they would fill us
where somebody would color it in.
How did you get it?
It was stamped and colored.
I had somebody make these for me
because kids love these.
And I'll give them to them and they'll wear them at Comic- sale um no i i just give them out you could have them for merch if you want i'd like to have it yeah we should we should
holy shit i'm seeing merch how many how many how many you got right now how many i probably have
i gave out that i I just give them.
I used to send a picture to somebody and then give them a free doc tattoo.
How many you got, Rob?
I probably have a box somewhere in my store.
All right.
We're in the merch business.
We're going to buy them off, Rob.
And now that we're in the merch business, amongst all the other merch you can get,
you'll be able to get an actual Rob fake doc tattoo.
I think a lot
of people are you for Halloween usually, Rob.
I always see lots of high-five tots.
They sometimes go as you. They
sometimes go as me, but I see more
you, Rob, than I
see of anyone from the
show. Yeah, a lot of high-five tots.
I see you
and bodies like to go as
the two of you.
Right, but there's always someone that comes up that's Which I see you people and buddies like to go as the two of you. Right. It's Turk and JD.
Right.
But there's always someone that comes up that's like, all right, fine.
If you guys are Turk and JD, then I'm fucking the Todd.
It's just that simple.
It's a fun character to go as Halloween because it's not just a costume.
It's a character.
Rob, before COVID and everything, you would do sort of Comic-Con type events, right?
And sign stuff and high-five people?
There are certain places in the world I always wanted to go to.
And I sought out a couple of Comic-Cons.
And at the end of the day, I went to Australia three times, Germany six times, throughout the UK, Vienna.
So I did Comic-Cons in places I wanted to travel to.
So I did Comic-Cons in places I wanted to travel to.
And it was fascinating to realize the reach of the show and to see people from different countries embrace the show.
It was a really interesting time of year.
That is awesome.
Would you stay extra while you were there?
Like, would you stay days after the Comic-Cons
and experience the places?
Or would you just go do the Comic-Cons
and whatever amount of time you had there, you would tourist?
Well, I went to Australia. And I like the people who ran the oz comic-con so much that i went back the next year
and i brought sam lloyd with me and we went to perth and adelaide together and we stayed for 14
days and then the next year we went to um brisbane and sydney together and so i took two trips with
sam lloyd and the two of us like had the time of our lives together we would go on stage and do
like one hour shows and like it was a really special time to share that with somebody
who I love so much. And it was like an experience I'll never forget. So I'm very thankful for those
trips. Yeah. Do you think you'll do more when the world reopens? Will you do more of it or not? Are
you over it? I think I think quite honestly, I've hit every country I've really wanted to go to.
Unfortunately, they don't really do them in Italy, which is one place I'd like to go. And I think that period of my life is over.
You know, I kind of did it for like over three or four years. And I'm like on to other stuff now.
So no, I think that's over. And you're in real estate now. You appear to be, just from following
you on social media, killing it in the west side of LA real estate market? Well, you're very kind. It's very competitive,
but I live in Santa Monica and I love it here. And I've lived in this area of Ocean Park for
like 20 years and I just sell homes. I love where I live and I sell what I know. I'm very good at it
and the work ethic and all the qualities you need to have to be a successful actor
are qualities you need to have to be a successful broker are qualities you need to have to be a successful broker.
Tenacity, never taking no for an answer, never giving up, outworking people, and really knowing what you're doing.
So I'm having a great time with it.
And, you know, it's always like I really connect with people one-on-one.
And I really, you know, it's a huge decision when you buy or sell a home.
And I want to really live up to those expectations for those people.
Do you have people that are looking at a house and all of a sudden do a double take
and are like, holy shit, it's high five Todd?
Yes.
Many years ago, I think you made a joke to me.
I don't know why I remember this.
It's like, Rob, you probably say when you meet a girl, you know, I'm the Todd from Scripps.
That's probably your opening line.
At the time I said no, but it's certainly my closing line.
So my thing with real estate is it's never my opening line no but it's certainly my closing lines so my thing my thing
with real estate is it's never my opening line but it's always my closing line so like if i get
to know somebody and i'm doing well with them and then at the end oh by the way i happen to be on
the show they're like oh that's it i love this i'll buy this house i can't afford it i can't
afford this house because you're you're high five todd let's go Cash, okay? You know what I wanted to say to you?
I should
mention that I was a realtor in the early days
of the podcast.
Did we get you any clients?
Yes, you did.
You got someone in San Diego.
Where's our commission, bro?
He's selling his house
in Escondido and he wanted me to do it
but I happened to have a family friend who's down
there and I referred it to
my friend because he's a very good realtor
and he sold the house for him thanks to
you guys I got a little referral fee
but yes somebody who watched listen to the podcast
put him in contact with a really good
realtor in San Diego and he sold his house
so do you only do
just do Santa Monica or do you do Venice
and around there too?
You know, my last 10 sales have all been like west of Lincoln.
So like Santa Monica, Venice, Marina del Rey, anything west of Lincoln, I guess west of the 405.
But I really, you guys say, oh, you have all the skin.
I live at the beach.
Like I'm looking at the ocean right now.
And I just like, I like the lifestyle here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're living the dream.
And I just like it.
I like the lifestyle here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're living the dream.
Well, if you're in the market for a house, I'm sure you can search for Rob and come live in L.A. at the beach.
And you can do surf, Rob?
Surf.
Everything.
All stuff at the beach.
Surf, run, whatever.
We should probably talk about the show a smidgen more. How about Johnny wanting that hot-ass nanny to be the nanny i think hot nannies are a bad idea anyone let's all weigh in on that donald have
you ever had a really hot nanny you know what i don't want to say no because i don't want to
insult anybody the nannies that i've had have been very beautiful people and very beautiful okay
you're being pc i mean have you had a distractingly hot no i've not had someone who was i've never
understood these people i've been to people's houses and they're like a distractingly hot nanny? No, I've not had someone who was like, you know. I've never understood these people.
I've been to people's houses, and they're like, oh, this is the nanny.
And she walks in, and she could be a supermodel.
I'm like, this just feels like a stupid idea for everybody involved.
Well, Dr. Cox says, oh, our nanny just left.
And Krista, who's so funny, says, yeah, she's got great credentials.
Great perky credentials.
Great perky credentials.
It was so funny.
Krista was very funny in this episode.
Oh, gosh, yeah.
Oh, gosh, yeah.
Dating a girl or boy who is consistently...
Okay, so let me ask you a question.
Have you ever dated someone and every time you hung out with them,
or almost every time you hung out with them,
their ex was around hanging out too?
Yes, I've been in that situation.
It's horrible. You have been in that situation. Let me tell you something that happened to me.
I took my college girlfriend. We had no money, so we went on a very low budge backpacking trip
around Europe, like on your rail, taking the trains, staying in hostels, backpacks,
as low budge as we can do it. And every city we ended up in her ex-boyfriend
showed up in that city
and he was like
I'm doing a trip too
I can't believe we keep ending up in the same cities
and
without fail
every city we ended up in he'd be there
and it was really really sad for me
that is a
you should be writing that movie as me that is it that is a you should be writing that movie as
well that is that is super suspect stalkery now do you guys think do you guys think that she was
i wish i don't think and i'm just thinking about it so many years later i was literally
fucking 20 years old do you think that she was telling him where we were going or do you think
that he was being stalkery and just figuring it out?
I think he found that itinerary and was like, let me jump on this trip.
Yeah.
Is what I think happened, dude.
He was doing what JD does in this episode at the end when he runs with the flowers.
Thinking like, I don't care.
Hell or high water.
I am going to get this girl back.
And I'm going to be in every romantic city they go to.
And we were in like all like Venice and Florence.
Did he ever stay at the same hostel as you guys?
No, but the motherfucker would actually do like,
Zach?
Oh my God.
So and so whose name I'm not going to say.
What are you guys doing here?
And it was like, bro, we just fucking saw you in venice what's going on stop
i know they ever get back together uh no no but i mean the guy was all the guy was all in married
for you well i wouldn't be surprised if they were because he's very persistent oh this is i'll make
it even worse for you oh my god you want to hear how bad it got? I haven't told this story ever. So we're in Rome, and she wants to get up very early, crack of dawn, on Christmas Day and go to a church service in Rome for Christmas.
Oh.
And she says, hey, I know this might be a little bit odd, but my ex, of course, he's here in Rome.
He wants to come with me.
But it's church, and you don't want to go with me. Uh, but it's, you know, it's church and
you don't want to go to church. Do you mind if I go with him? It's like a 7am service. I'm like,
okay, yeah. Okay. I guess it's a little weird, but okay. Sure. So they go to their church thing.
The thing about Rome is on Christmas day, everything shuts down. I mean, public transportation shuts
down. There's just, it's no one is getting around in any way. And so I literally, they were
across town together and I was alone. And I spent the day walking around Rome alone,
knowing my girlfriend was with her ex on the other side of Rome, walking around on Christmas Day.
How long after that trip did you guys break up?
Not too long after that.
I see.
I see.
Because I was just, you know, you know, I mean You have, you guys been in the situation where you're like,
you're like,
I don't want to be like overly jealous for no reason,
but,
but you're also like,
but am I crazy?
Like,
should I?
No,
but I'm like,
you know what?
You guys know that dance where you're like,
should I be jealous?
Or am I being an idiot for being jealous?
And you're kind of like vacillating between the two.
Yeah.
But at that point,
that's,
I mean,
that's just too suspect.
I'm sorry.
Dude shows up for the trip. Yeah, but at that point, that's just too suspect. I'm sorry. Dude shows up for the trip.
Christmas Day comes
and she says, I want to take my ex
to the church. I know you don't like church.
I'm going to take my ex.
That's fishy as fuck,
dude.
And then because of no public transportation,
we couldn't...
Billy!
Billy!
Because of public transportation.
Billy knows.
Billy's like, that's bitch.
That was sus.
That was sus.
That's dog for you, stupid motherfucker.
Oh, I don't want to be jealous.
I hate being jealous.
It's the worst feeling.
She told him.
She told him. Obviously. Obviously, yes. She told him. She told him.
Obviously.
You think?
Obviously, yes.
She told him what y'all were doing,
especially if she went to church with him after that.
Oh, man.
It hurts.
It hurts inside.
All right.
Hold on.
Should we go to a break, Joelle, before the fan call?
We're going to go to break, and then we're going to take a fan,
and I'm going to let my dog out because she has lots to say at the door.
We will be right back.
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Seven questions, limitless answers.
Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of
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Let's bring in the caller i hope he or she wants some innuendo jokes from uh from rob in your end in your end in your end ladies and gentlemen Give it up for Devin Frieda!
You are on Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Joelle, Danil, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, and our guest, Rob Macchio, Devin Frieda!
Hi, Devin. Welcome.
And you said my name right!
Yes, Devin. Welcome to the program. How are you? Tell us where you're calling from.
Calling from the Upper West Side in Manhattan.
Hey.
Hey.
Donald grew up in Hell's Kitchen, so he knows that side of the island, at least.
I did.
I went to, where on the Upper West Side?
We don't have to give you our exact address, but where on the Upper West Side are you?
Like in the 70s.
I went to IS4444 are you near there uh maybe i'm not really probably doesn't know where the public schools
are you not from new york are you not from new york i'm from new mexico santa fe nice
how long have you lived in new york for uh six or seven years now i think and you live in the
70s and you don't knows on the Upper West Side,
and you don't know where the junior high schools or anything like that is? Yeah, but Donald,
I live in Manhattan. I don't know where my local public schools are or what they're called or what
their numbers are. I grew up there. That's why I didn't know. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I passed
them. I passed them. I just don't know which one has which name. I teach ballet at a school in the West.
What school? Manhattan Country School. Nice.
Wow. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Are you single? Because Rob will move to.
Well, I went to college on the Upper West Side. I went to Columbia. I lived on the Upper West Side for many years.
And you're not on the Upper West Side, dog.
Yeah, it is. 114th Street.
But that ain't...
That's Harlem, right?
That's Harlem, big homie.
Harlem starts at 125th.
Harlem starts at 110th Street.
I'll bet
a lot of... That's how you white people do us, man.
You just keep pushing Harlem up
and up and up and up and up. I see how you do people do us, man. You just keep pushing Harlem up and up and up and up and up.
I see how you do.
Oh, my God.
I bet a lot of people are surprised to learn that I-5 Todd went to an Ivy League school.
Well, you know, guys, I graduated in 1988.
I was classmates with Neil Gorsuch.
He's on the Supreme Court.
Oh, my God.
So Neil Gorsuch, today, every morning he wakes up, he puts on a robe
and he decides whether or not women
should have the right to choose. Every morning
I wake up, put on a robe, and decide
whether or not I'm going to take an online Kundalini
yoga class made by a gentleman
named Taboo.
Life is funny.
Life is funny.
I feel like his money in columbia was better spent than
yours all right um all right devin do you have a question for any of us you have the
you have a special honor of having uh rob here today it's an extra bonus i know it's awesome
well i wanted to say,
when I initially wrote in, I had been talking about, so I come from a family of doctors.
My dad's an oral surgeon. All my uncles are doctors. And then my brother, my brother,
Casey's a chiropractor. And my brother, Ryan is an anesthesiologist in Tucson, Arizona.
So he actually got me into the show because when Scrubs started he was doing his residency. So it's kind of like a cool way for us to relate so it's it's
my favorite show of all time. But I am actually an actor in musical theater so
different from you know from all the doctor stuff. But yeah so the first
question I wanted to ask you guys was um if you could recast scrubs
with the muppets who would each character yeah hell yeah donald donald feels like he's answered
this question before i feel like turk and jd are ernie and bert yes clearly i feel like uh
am i am i ernie or am i bert it doesn matter. Either one of them is fine. I think you're more Bert than Ernie, though.
Okay.
Yeah.
I feel like, uh, let me see.
The janitor...
Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Or no, the grouch.
The grouch.
Oscar the grouch.
Sorry, garbage and garbage and grouchy.
Got it.
Good one.
Right.
Um, I think that Dr. Cox, that's a tough one, but he would be somebody like either Kermit the Frog or, you know, it depends on what Muppets you're doing.
Also, if we're doing Sesame Street, this is the way to go.
But if you're doing.
Sarah's got to be Miss Piggy.
Right.
If you're doing the Muppets like Kermit, Fozzie and them, then obviously Fozzie.
Oh, Rob is Fozzie.
No, Turk is Fozzie, Fozzie Bear, Brown Bear
And, uh
No, but Rob has all the
Waka waka waka jokes
Yeah, sure
See, I feel like Rob is Animal
Agreed, Devin
That's true, Rob, you're Animal
But I think it would be Kermit's JD
Fozzie's Turk
Miss Piggy is Elliot.
I feel like Oscar the Grouch would be the janitor and or Kelso.
And Sam Lloyd could be Elmo.
Well, I think, yeah, that's a great, or Scooter.
Scooter from.
Or Beaker. Or Be from... Or Beaker.
Or Beaker.
Or Beaker.
Or Beaker.
Right.
This is a tough one.
It's going to take me a while to really think about it.
Yeah, by the way, Donald's going to get so high later and really think about this.
I think I'm joking.
On the next show, I will have been baked so hard tonight that I will write down who I think should be.
I will answer your question on the next show.
Okay.
All right.
Good one,
Devin.
And let's have another question for us.
Yes.
So as I mentioned,
I do musical theater.
Hey guys,
do you think Devin,
do you think Devin is in musical theater guys?
Yes.
Devin is in musical theater.
I'm sorry to help. I say it enough. It's a tough time to be in musical theater, guys? Yes, Devin is in musical theater. You think she's in musical theater? I'm sorry to help, I say it enough.
It's a tough time to be in musical theater because everyone's out of work.
And they just announced, I think it was today, that they're pushing anything to, is it May minimum?
Yeah, May minimum.
Which, of course, is going to keep going, I'm sure.
Well, it depends on what happens this year and the beginning of next year.
I'm just saying May sounds a little early to me, but I'm not going to tell Devin.
Dude, shoot.
I heard later than that, but okay.
All right, Devin, go ahead.
You like musical theater.
You're talking to the right crowd.
Go ahead.
Yes.
So my question was, Zach, if you could star in another broadway musical
what show and role would you pick and also cast donald in it i would like to do joseph in the
amazing technical or dreamcoat okay because here's why a i can sing the lead all right i'm the right
age to play the lead it's a very funny show i love music from it. And the last time they did it, with all due respect to Donny Osmond, it was like a very campy version.
I mean, it was very – like I think the show – you know, there's this whole trend now with taking musicals instead of classic ones like Oklahoma, for example, and kind of deconstructing them and doing more raw interpretations of them. And Joseph, the last big tour of it, as I recall, was like Donny Osmond
in like flaming capes and very campy. And I just feel like it's, you know, the story of Joseph is
a really insane Bible story. The music is so fun and it's so silly. i would love to do joseph so if you're a broadway producer and you're
listening when the world reopens i want to do joseph yeah i want devin to be in it i want donald
donald to play um i got it i got an idea wait can i tell you you're gonna play pharaoh okay because
in joseph if you don't know, when Pharaoh turns around,
it's played by an Elvis impersonator.
And I think it would be
hilarious if when Pharaoh
turned around, it was you dressed as Elvis.
I hear you.
Do you like that answer, Devin?
Yeah, I do.
Here's what I think.
Here's what I think.
If they could make, and I'm just going to answer the question because I really think this is a good idea.
If they could make any Broadway musical right now, I would like to put into the hat the Broadway musical for Back to the Future.
The first.
They're doing that.
Are they?
Of course they are.
Yeah.
I think it opened in London.
I think that that is a...
First of all, the sets could be amazing,
and you only have to do the clock tower set
for most of the show.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's the transition and all of that stuff.
I think Back to the Future with 50s musical numbers
and 1985 musical numbers,
and then it all coming together at the end with him playing Chuck Berry, with 50s musical numbers and 1985 musical numbers,
and then it all coming together at the end with him playing Chuck Berry,
I think would be such a good fucking show. Devin, can you really sing well, or are you more of a dancer?
I'm a singer too, yeah.
Do you want to sing on the podcast right now?
Yeah, do you want to sing something like Defying Gravity?
Do you want to sing the end of Defying Gravity for us?
right now? Do you want to sing something like Defying Gravity? Do you want to sing the end of Defying Gravity for us? Well, I was thinking because, you know, obviously I haven't had a
lot of work during this year. I also teach Broadway workshops for Disney Theatrical. And
as long as all the Broadway shows are closed, those are dark. But what I've been doing on the
side to try and make some money is virtual princess parties. Have you been doing a lot?
Cause you got the Elsa haircut right now.
I did one today.
Yeah.
So, um,
I'll zoom with,
you know,
kids for like 30 minutes and sing to them and do story time and stuff.
And,
uh,
yeah.
So I was like,
if I did,
so wait,
wait,
just give her a letter,
let her plug your thing.
Tell her,
tell parents how they would find you doing Elsa birthday party.
Because Donald has a daughter that probably would love an Elsa birthday party.
She would.
Yes.
So I have a Facebook page.
You would just go to Facebook.com slash Devon's, D-E-V-O-N-S, princess parties.
And I have all my, some pictures and flyers and email contact on there.
And yeah.
And I thought I could do some,
let it go.
And Donald could sing it with me.
Cause I know it's one of his favorites.
Well,
here's,
here's the question.
Yeah.
It's not really my favorite.
I do like the song a lot.
It's not really my favorite.
My favorite is bees will buzz.
Kids will blow down. dandelion fuzz. And I'll be
doing whatever snow does in
summer.
But
Devin, if you want
to give us a little something, there's no pressure.
Sure.
There's a few
people all over the world that actually listen
to this.
And I think that Bernie Telsey, for all you know,
who's the biggest Broadway cast leader,
for all we know, he's an avid fan.
And he's going to go, holy fuck, somebody get Devin.
Get me Devin.
Get me Devin.
Get Devin on the line.
If only.
Not too much, Devin. Just give us, I don't know, a few bars. A few bars, Devin on the line If only Not too much Devin Just give us like I don't know a few bars
A few bars Devin
Okay
Let it go
Let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go
Let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
By the way, by the way, great job. And that could have gone either way, great job.
And that could have gone either way, Devin.
I'm sure everyone listening at home was like, oh, please be good.
Please don't freestyle rap.
Yeah, Devin, because we did have someone freestyle rap on here.
It wasn't great.
It wasn't great.
That was awesome. That was awesome.
That was awesome.
That was amazing.
Thank you.
So listen, if you go to get Devin to be your Elsa for your kid's birthday party, you're
also going to get that level of let it go.
It comes with that.
And...
Oh, shit.
There's more.
But wait, there's more.
If you act now, I'll also sell you some Ginsu knives.
So, here's my best friend right here.
It's a little chihuahua for you at home.
Go ahead.
Here are the chihuahua.
Also, she was really hoping to get an Oprah intro, Donald.
Her name's Kiraluna.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up.
Not too loud for the people who have a latching baby.
Go ahead.
For those of you who are latched, who have the baby latched right now,
maybe turn down.
Yeah, turn down your volume because Donald's going to get loud.
Okay.
Donald, give the chihuahua his due.
I forgot the chihuahua's name.
What is it?
Is it bit and flash?
What is it?
Kira Luna.
Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Kira Luna Ladies and gentlemen The one and only
Kira Luna
Okay thank you
You can now restore your volume
And reset the latch
Wow thank you
So what I was going to say is that
She sometimes makes an appearance
In these princess parties
She has
When I do Ariel
She has a flounder costume.
When I do Elsa, she has a
Sven costume.
To Norella, she's got a Gus costume.
Now, Rob
wants to know if you do these for
50-year-old men as well,
or is it solely for children?
On Zoom?
On Zoom? On Zoom?
I don't like it.
I think it's great.
I think you're being very entrepreneurial, and you're making the most of these times.
And as long as you're performing every day, whether it's to one person or five people, it's a great thing, and it'll lead to more things for you.
So I just want to wish you continued success.
That's great.
And you know what?
This is the way people are having to adjust.
You know, we're talking about doing a virtual tour because we can't tour.
So we're talking about taking this show and I don't know what the hell we're doing, but we're going to do sort of a concert version of this.
Josh Radin is playing all these concert versions for people in their homes and stuff like that.
This is a great segue, actually,
into our favorite segment of the Fake Doctors Real Friends podcast.
Not just ours, Donald. Everywhere around the world.
Everywhere. They love this.
They love this part of the podcast.
And that is, Devin,
it's time to
Fix Your Life! this part of the podcast and that is devin it's time to fix your life
rob we're going to uh offer advice here to whatever however devin needs to have her life
fixed okay go ahead devin how can we fix your life all right so um i was to ask a dating question, actually.
Rob is the perfect person to ask. Are you a single person, Devin?
Yes, I am.
Okay, good, good, good.
Oh, my God.
I know you'll be shocked to hear that I do musical theater,
but it is very hard to meet guys in my field
because most of the guys I interact with are either gay or taken or very uh self-absorbed
so it can be it can be difficult um and particularly during a pandemic to meet new people
I'm not even before the pandemic I'm not someone who's gonna like I don't want to meet someone at
a bar or you know so and dating apps are just the worst.
So I was going to ask, how do I meet my soulmate?
Wow, your soulmate?
Yeah, she's ready to meet the ones.
She's ready to meet the ones.
That might be a little bit above my pay grade, dude.
I could tell you how to hook up, but I can't tell you how to meet your soulmate.
Ryan, why are you so averse to the apps i mean
there's so many of them it really enables you to not be in a loud bar being like what do you do for
a living you know i think there you know i know a lot of people of all different walks of life
who found the right app for them and have met their their their, their one. Perfect example. Daniel Goodman.
Daniel, my, my contractor who has the cutest family you've ever seen. And they're both
adorable. I said, I told them they should be the ad for, for match. They met on match. I know some
of them, you don't need to be on Tinder, which is about like, you know, hooking up, but I mean,
there's some ones that are good. Why are you so against it?
I try.
I try them.
I do what
I can, but it is hard
on any of them to find guys
that aren't just there to hook up.
Because men are gross.
I'm glad I'm
not one of them.
Men other than Donald are gross. Well, I'm glad I'm not one of them. Men other than Donald are gross.
Have you tried
J-Date, Farmers Only? I mean, have you
branched out? Farmers Only.
I'll tell ya.
Don't overlook it.
We had this conversation. You gotta
be a farmer to be on Farmers Only, guys.
No, you don't. Not if you're a beautiful woman.
If she's willing to move to Bumblefuck and be on a farm.
I get it.
It's not going to be great for her musical theater career,
but if she's willing to move to an Idaho potato farm.
If you're a gentleman like myself, being on Farmers Only is not a good idea.
But if you're a lovely person like Devin, who's willing to move to Idaho, farmers only
is a good idea. That's what you're saying?
I'm wondering if my small vegetable garden
qualifies me to be on farmers only.
How much land do you have to be
working?
My dad
suggested I do J-Day.
I don't know.
I think you're in New York. There's a lot of nice Jewish boys. I think you-Date. I don't know. I don't know. Well, I think, you know, you're in New York.
There's a lot of nice Jewish boys. Upper West Side. Yeah. Upper West Side. It's where they're
all congregating. No pun intended. I don't know. Thank you, Dan. Thank you. I don't know what to
tell you, especially during COVID. I feel like the apps were a godsend for a lot of people because before that, it was literally you had to go to a bar or you had to go to a club or you had to like, you know, go on awkward first dates where you knew nothing about the person.
Like there was zero physical attraction or zero banter.
And I feel like a lot of my friends who've met people on the apps and done
well, it's like, you can kind of at least narrow it down and, and, and right.
Daniel, you should be speaking to this.
Daniel can speak on this.
Daniel, speak to it.
He met, he met his love.
I disagree though.
Daniel, have we said love yet in your relationship?
Oh, absolutely.
Okay.
I love, I love her dearly.
Are you in love with her, Daniel? Are you in love with her daniel are you in love with her because there's a difference okay okay we'll get into
that that's my relationship we don't have to worry about that one right now but um give her
wait wait and not be selfish daniel we're fixing devin which one did you um use daniel we uh we met on hinge hinge and the only piece of advice i will offer at all
is be honest be up front and just be straightforward with everybody i think there's a little bit of
you know revealing myself here i'm 31 years old so at this point the person i want to meet
is probably the person that i want to be with. And I find that some of the games of dating and some of the ways we try to
plus ourselves up and the ways that we try to kind of like create this
perfect image in this hinge profile or whatever, it's false.
I think you just want to come out with the like, look,
I want to get drunk and sing show tunes at karaoke if you're down let's
go on a date if not just swipe left i think being honest about like that like what's that pure joy
for you what's that pure joy that you want to share with another person that like is outside
of the because i really did the whole hi i'm dan i do this and this and this and blah blah blah blah
i was like you know what screw all that i'm not about this anymore this and this and this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, you know what? Screw all that. I'm not about this anymore.
I like this.
I like this.
If you're down, let's hang out and we'll talk about it.
Yeah.
Like, Joelle's is going to be, I want to get high and play video games.
Are you down or not?
Damn it.
That's my profile.
Anyway, that's all I can say.
That's great advice.
That's great advice, Dan.
Here's the thing about all of that, though.
There's something really special about going out on dates with people that you don't know.
There's something good about that because if the connection is real, you know it right then and there.
You know what I mean?
I feel like in some ways, yeah, it's true you're getting through all of the bullshit and stuff like that with the texting and the talking over the internet
and getting to know each other before you meet.
But there was something really cool about you meeting somebody.
Like, I remember meeting girls on a train and being like,
can I get your number?
And them saying, oh, yeah, sure, or saying no.
And then now it's like, all right, now what's my in to this young lady
to go out on a date?
I don't know if i should give you
advice as the todd or as robert no as robert we definitely don't want advice as the todd please
i'm somebody go ahead i'm sorry oh no your friend i i miss meeting people in organic situations that
to me is the best part of dating is that wondering if there's something there and getting to know
each other and then maybe a date
comes out of that i hate the pressure that is put on of meeting someone on an app and it's kind of
like all right so either we're into this or not you know i agree with you i'm where you are with
that whole thing what do you do though devon that's the thing is like in covid now like there's
not you might as well be having some banter with some guys and and um i'm sure you have friends that
you've known from the past that never got with or never dated oh yeah is there one that got away
devon that you're like whatever happened to tony i don't know i don't have to think about
but what about after covid i mean mean, hopefully at some point,
well, then you'll be back. Then you'll be back in a show maybe. And, and,
and you know, if you're in, if you're in a show,
it's so great because you're going out for drinks and this one introduces you
to that one. Oh, this is my cousin. This is my friend.
I know what you're saying that in the shows,
traditionally a lot of people have already coupled up or they're gay.
But I, I, I found when I've done theater,
there's so much socializing that it's really
conducive to dating. That is true. That is true. I have one more piece of advice. Yes, go ahead,
Daniel. Last thing I'm going to say about it. If the person you're talking to isn't ready to start
meeting up within like 10 messages, they're not taking it seriously. I think if you're on the app,
what I'm saying is if you're on the apps, your goal is to decide on somebody that you're attracted to, figure out when you're going on a
date and then going. Now, I know obviously this is a little COVID aside, but like the dance of
talking for three weeks or whatever is just like, let's do this in person. If they're not willing
to meet up after 10 messages or something, skip,
you're out.
Forget that.
Yeah.
We're here to meet,
not here to just talk.
Okay.
What does it mean when you like text and text and text and they just don't
write back though?
That means they're not,
get out of there.
Those are,
those are the games I was referring to earlier.
We're not playing these games anymore.
Right.
And Devin,
I mean,
I don't,
I think that you,
yeah,
I think,
and also,
I don't, again, we don't know how old you are, but you, but you canvin I mean I don't I think that you Yeah I think and also Again we don't know how old you are
But you can
I mean to me you look 24 years old
I don't know what you are
But I would
Yes absolutely
But I would say and I know this is
Not this is a sweeping generalization
But if you tend to date slightly older
Men they're going to be Probably less likely to just be down to just try and
bang as many women as possible.
So like people,
people like Rob's age,
Rob,
what did you say you were?
Like 54.
Like 54 year olds who live in the,
in the,
in the West side of LA,
the ocean part.
Those,
those type of people.
Those type of people. Those type of people.
Devin, it's so obvious that
you came on a podcast, you sang a song,
you're such an extroverted, outgoing person.
You have a great personality
and you look great. I have my glasses.
You are going to meet somebody
organically in the course of your life.
You're a catch, Devin.
Thank you.
It's a matter of time. That's what I see. Let me put my glasses on. course of your life yeah you're a catch yeah you're totally a catch time you're like that's
what i see let me put my glasses on
devon probably doesn't want to wear like someone who has to go put on their glasses to look at the
zoom and squint do they make do they make biographies of the eyes? Oh, my God.
Rob, are those trifocals?
This is just like my readers from Rite Aid.
All right, we got to end this.
Devin, you're welcome, Devin.
You're welcome.
Thank you, guys. We just fixed your life, Devin.
We fixed your life, and you're welcome.
Just go out there and stand up for yourself.
You know what else stands up for itself?
Nope.
Oh my God.
Rob.
Rob.
Devin, I'm sorry.
Devin, I'm sorry.
You had to have the tot on.
But before you were on, he admitted to padding his banana hammock,
so it balances out.
No, he did not.
He did not admit to that. He said he tried. He attempted to until his banana hammock, so it balances out. No, he did not. He did not admit to that.
He said he tried.
He attempted to until Randall told him.
Okay, let's be honest now.
He wrapped it like a pig in a blanket.
And then he took the wrapping off, okay?
Okay.
Devin, you are a wonderful guest.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, Devin.
You are the best.
I love the podcast.
It's helped me get through quarantine, so thank you.
And you have a beautiful voice.
And I have no doubt that you're going to have a huge musical theater career.
And you have a very cute dog.
Yes.
Thank you guys so much.
Bye-bye.
Take care.
Be well.
Have a good one.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank goodness she could sing, dude.
Thank goodness she could sing.
That would have went really well.
I kind of thought if Rob had any game, there would have been a love connection.
There are different sides of the country.
Okay, for those of you out there, Rob and Devin might have made a really good couple.
How old do you think she was?
She looked late 20s, mid 20s?
32, early 30s probably.
I don't know, but Rob, if you're willing to move your whole life to the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
Back to New York.
You're talking to a guy
I've been in an on-again, off-again
relationship for 12 years with Amanda.
I'm no one to that.
And you met her
on Scrubs, didn't you? You did meet her on Scrubs.
Yes.
When this young lady came on the podcast just now,
she was very up front that she was looking for a date.
She knows that I'm in a relationship.
She knows Zach's in a relationship.
She knows Daniel's in a relationship.
She knows Joelle that's not Joelle's, you know,
unless she's willing to do things, Joelle's not into that.
I'm sorry, I'm bisexual.
I don't know if people know, but I just put that out there. I didn't know that people know, but I didn't know that, Joelle.
I didn't know that, Joelle.
We're open to all the genders.
Joelle, why did you say that shit?
Joelle, we've been fucking
talking to you.
We're getting into personal business
out here.
This is new information.
You need to be revealed.
Joelle, this opens up.
You're just like the Todd.
Thunderous applause, Dan.
Thunderous applause.
Joelle, we've only been trying to set you up with women.
I thought that I did not know that you were fluid.
Is that what you say?
Fluid?
I did not know you were fluid.
Okay, so this changes the game.
Oh, yeah.
This changes the game.
So, Joelle, this is Rob. So, Joelle, this is Rob.
So, Joelle, this is Rob.
This is Rob.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Nice to meet you, Rob.
What's up?
Oh, my God.
Oh, but that's going to be great, though, Joelle.
When we do finally get you on one of these dating apps,
you're going to have a lot more options because I didn't know that you were a bot.
It's going to be crazy.
It's going to be wild.
We can make it work.
Now it's going to be crazy. Now it's going to be wild.
Now it's going to be
crazy and wild.
Oh, boy.
We didn't get to too much of the show.
It's very hot in here.
I'm trying to spy on Elliot and Sean, and I get attacked by bees.
I'm trying to be stealth, and I'm like, bees, bees.
I laughed really hard at Rob's, does she also make you wax your vagina?
Yes.
And then a sterile high five.
I laughed real hard at this one, too.
Three days? Sean. No. Elliot.
Four days? Sean. No.
Six months? Elliot.
Five days?
What about when
Kelso goes, well, snip my pickle
and call me Shlomo.
And then Bob Kelso goes, it's 10 inches.
And then Matt Winston goes, it's like a baguette.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's seen Kelso's car.
Because he goes, Bob Kelso, 10 inches.
And then he walks up and goes, it's like a baguette.
And I don't know if that was his joke or
one of the writers jokes or somebody but that was improv in the moment and it was so fucking funny
i'll never scott foley in a fat suit scott foley in a fat suit that was funny uh i laughed i i what
about library strawberry strawberry strawberry i laughed at that too yeah this is one of troy's big first
well actually this is troy's second uh third third third episode third episode okay uh car i think
carl and turk are really cute in this episode also i think they're uh they're they're uh their
banter is is very cute and it reminds me of my wife when i try to explain to her why she's a pain, and then she
lets me know that I am a pain
and that all of the things
that pain
me, she could easily
reverse the tables and say
the exact same thing.
I liked it when Troy says
to the janitor, shouldn't we just kill him?
And then janitor goes, no, that's what he wants us to do.
That's what he wants us to do. That's what he wants us to do.
Troy is like a fucking felon.
Troy wants to murder somebody.
Yeah.
That bus station was the back door to the hospital, though.
That wasn't like, they didn't even go to a bus.
That was just like, they rented a Greyhound bus.
The audience wouldn't know.
But by the way, I had forgotten that Sean stayed.
And JD runs and
brings her the flowers and and uh and then there's sean saying he's gonna make it work long distance
so sad for jd did you improvise that line where you're like i'm not sure the flowers are gonna
reach the water yeah that's why it's so funny because he's gotten her this giant bouquet and
i have my little shitty bouquet and
you know just stick them in there i'm like not not sure they can reach the water but then it
cuts to that shot of sarah and scott at the end going at it oh my god were they kissing yeah well
sarah probably thought scott foley's not gonna be on the show much longer i need to get mine
oh my god there's been so many
revelations in this show. Joelle
is open to men and women.
What about strangely attractive intern?
That's a
great line because she's
strangely attractive. Those are
two really good high fives. I miss you five and sterile
high five. I miss you high five?
Yeah.
Because I'm trying to get you guys, you Turk,
to come hang out with the guys.
It's kind of blocking you from coming out.
I'm so glad you said
all these notes you guys, because all these jokes
you guys, I have them all listed down there.
We just like to write down the stuff that makes us laugh.
Go ahead. Me too. That's what I did.
If you have other things.
I could go a long time without sex, Sean.
I'm like a sex camel.
He's very sincere.
Poor Elliot.
I feel bad for him.
But then Sean comes back.
That handsome bastard.
Alright, I think we did it, guys.
Yeah, we did.
We went a long time.
Rob, you always make us smile
and I hope you'll come back and do the show again
I'll let you know
I'm going to be honest with you Rob
I miss you man I haven't seen you in a long time
and we've spent a lot of time
we've spent a lot of time together
outside of Scrubs playing basketball
and stuff like that
in what I would like to think of as the trenches
trying to win championships
and stuff.
And when you play basketball, it's true though,
but when you play basketball with people like we played basketball,
you've seen them in really tough situations.
And, dude, I miss you, man.
I miss you tremendously.
And you always, you know, I feel like you always come out on top.
So it's really good to see you, Rob.
Thank you so much.
I feel the same way. out on top. So it's really good to see you, Rob. Thank you so much. I feel the same way.
I miss you guys both.
Well, check out Rob on Cameo and hire him to say funny shit to your friends and relatives.
Or if you're in the Santa Monica area and you're looking for a flat, person to call.
Yeah.
Rob Macchio.
Yeah, Rob.
How do they find you, Rob?
What's your real estate
website? I'm a broker now, but I'm still just an associate broker. I have an office on Main Street
with my picture in the window. Sometimes people will walk by and they'll be like, oh, that's the
Todd from Scrubs. And I'll be like, is it really? And like, yeah, that's him. And they don't realize
it's me. All right, everybody.
Thank you so much.
Don't forget to double check that you're registered or register for the first time by going to headcount.org slash Zach and Donald.
Also, we got new colors up with the T-shirts and the sweatshirts.
Yes.
Great new merch up.
We got pink and there's sweatshirts. Yes, great new merch up. We got pink and there's sweatshirts.
If you go to, when you're on the thing,
which is Cotton,
you go to cottonbureau.com
and then search for Fake Doctors.
You'll see, you can choose sweatshirt, tank top.
There's all sorts of stuff.
And Joelle is restocking all the towels
and the washcloths.
Yes, personally folding them,
putting the stickers on, getting ready to go.
All Joelle.
All of that training Joelle got at the Gap when she used to work at the Gap,
it's all paying off now.
And as you know, we're only on once a week for just a few weeks,
but next Tuesday we have the legendary Shea Serrano,
everybody's favorite guest next to Rob Macchio,
for My Brother, Where Art Thou? Shay Serrano, everybody's favorite guest next to Rob Macchio.
For My Brother, Where Art Thou?
I think that's the one where Tom Cavanagh's in the bathtub, if I'm not mistaken.
But we shall see.
All right, guys.
Donald, would you like to count the universe into our final song?
Our final song?
Of the day.
Of the day.
The final song of this download.
Five, six, seven, eight. Stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate.
I said, here's a story that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with
Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm.
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