Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 305: My Brother, Where Art Thou? with Shea Serrano
Episode Date: October 20, 2020Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
Scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes.
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
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13 minutes late.
13 minutes late.
Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody. 13 minutes late. 13 minutes late. Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody.
13 minutes late.
I texted you.
I'd be 13.
You was like, don't worry about that shit.
We got Shay on show.
So just relax.
Tune dog back up in this bitch.
13 minutes late.
13 minutes late.
13, 13, 13, 13.
Where the fuck was you?
I was saying we got Shay.
I was on my motherfucking Peloton.
Yeah, good.
Good.
You spin?
Riding like a slave and the sweat is on.
Oh, shit.
I be like, you napoli.
Is it safe to say that you have bars?
No, I don't have bars.
I'm fucking a little.
I'm like, what's that? when you get like workout inebriated
when you feel like you're inebriated
it's called an endorphin high
yeah I am endorphed
good
new t-shirt
feels good right
feels good I did it too today
I can't stop
these people aren't even our sponsors
but I gotta tell you like i am
loving this fucking bike i'm sweating my ass off i go way harder than i ever do on my own because
they're cheering me on i really i really i really love it yeah man it's uh it's great i feel wet
right now though man you know what i mean like do you have a wop i don't you probably have wab
you probably have wab wet ass balls yeah i got i yeah i got i got a sob sweaty ass balls
i got a sob you have probably what you have uh oh oh that's a slash you have. Wet ass cheeks. Wet ass.
I missed you.
I missed you.
We have so much to talk about.
I mean, I don't even know where to begin.
When we do this once a week, I accumulate all these things I want to talk to you guys about.
There are so many things we need to talk about. There's so much to talk about.
I wanted to talk about Joelle, your birthday present.
Hi.
She got an Oculus 2 from Donald and I.
Have you been in the Oculus 2 world yet?
How's that going, Joelle?
I could tell.
It's great.
I could tell she'd been in the world.
I could tell she smoked a lot of weed and put the freaking mask on and has just been walking around blasting at stormtroopers
and flying starships and shit.
I could tell already.
How's the Star Wars game, Joelle?
Okay, so the flight simulator is beautiful,
but I suck at flying.
I cannot do it on any game.
And this one, at one point, I was like,
I think I'm upside down and I'm going to hurl.
It's so realistic.
You can look down and your hands are, like,
touching the controls inside the plane.
It's crazy good.
The Darthader game is
awesome because like rogue one it was the first thing that like really made darth vader scary to
me rogue one darth vader hallway scene horrifying and this thing darth vader comes out of the
shadows and looks right up to your face and you're like you're tall and very frightening and it's
amazing uh beat saber also great oh yeah good arm workout if you're about that life on the hard
setting uh but my favorite so far was the meditation yeah really what's the meditation
it's a free meditation app that comes with it you can buy additional like experiences inside i've
only tried the one it comes with but it is so freaking trippy. It asks you to breathe with it, and you breathe in white sparkles, and you breathe out gold dots.
Oh, I'm going to love that.
Woo!
It was great.
Somebody told me there's an aftermarket app.
I mean, there's an app you get with it that you can buy, and you're in a big screen movie theater
and you can invite your friends in
and watch a movie together.
That's so fucking dope.
We gotta do that.
I think that's a great idea.
I have a question to ask now.
So the Oculus, it just comes with the
joystick and the goggles, that's it?
That's it.
But don't you need headphones?
It has a spot where you can attach headphones but it has directional hearing so it
can just you know you can use it without headphones so how do you download things like how
where is the internet there's an app it's in the goggles so you can use it in the goggles if you
like i have a limited time i can keep the goggles on and keep playing it's about an hour and a half
to two hours probably the longest i should be playing video games anyway.
But you can use your phone to purchase your apps and then once you're inside
the goggles, you can
upload it to your thing. So I pay
for them on my phone.
But your phone isn't your screen,
is it? No.
Come on, buddy. Everything is stored
on the mask. For that much money, your phone and your screen.
Okay, calm down.
First of all, calm down.
By the way, Joelle's unboxing video made my day.
I watched it a few times.
It's so adorable.
It's so funny when you're unwrapping it.
You're so funny.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you.
It was fun to unwrap.
You guys got a lot of compliments on your choice in wrapping paper.
I don't want to be sexist, but did one of the partners wrap it no that's
me that's me babe skills are so fucking i want you to know that wasn't even like my assistant
joelle that's how much love i put into this my mom taught me how to rap when i was a kid
she did real good teaching you i i really and i and i because it was you and i was putting so
much love into it i didn't phone that shit in Joelle.
Like when I folded down the ends and it was like a little long, I took them scissors back out and trim Joelle.
I'm going to, I'm going to tell you guys something right now.
When it comes to detail, when it comes to decoration, when it comes to stylizing a space thing or something like that, of that matter.
a space thing or something like that of that matter zach braff works really hard to please the eye you know what i mean you walk into you walk into a room if zach is the owner of the room
or renting or renting said space in room or renting space in said room. Let me tell you something right now.
It usually has a theme and it is usually fire.
I also got to say,
I get so much joy out of matching the right gift with the right person.
And I really love that. I, I, I mean, and,
and of course when someone's as appreciative as you were,
your video was amazing. It made me, made me uh laugh so hard but i i just love like and and we had a little help from
daniel because i was brainstorming and daniel was like stop brainstorming this is what it should be
but i but i was like oh my god i don't know i was just really looking forward to it i love i i love
uh i love that i love sharing with you should we let shay and i'm feeling bad we got a fancy guest
in the yeah let's let him in the other room other room. Yeah, let's let him in.
Let's let him in.
You know, if it was another guest, we might say hold him off.
But Shay, you know.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show.
There he is.
Thunderous applause.
Thunderous applause.
What is really good?
What's up, everyone?
Shay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Donald was 13 minutes late.
So I'm sorry.
Oh, that's good.
Yo, Shay.
You know what I started doing?
I started working out today.
Did you? Congratulations.
Day one, Shay. Day one.
Day one, the Peloton bike.
I'm already sore.
Oh, fuck that thing.
It's awful.
I tried it once.
It is a killer.
It's hard. I'm cutting weight, though, Shay. I'm getting skinny.
He's trying to get down to his fight weight i'm getting down a fight club weight do you donald do you have the shoes that go with it the fancy shoes you gotta have the shoes you need the shoes
you gotta have the shoes shay they kind of monopolize the situation though man you get
the shoes from them and you get the you don't have to buy their brand you can buy a different
brand if you're worried about a monopoly.
A word?
A word, yeah.
They're just cycling shoes.
You can probably get dope Nike ones if you want.
I was under the assumption, and as you always do when you assume you make an ass out of you and me,
I thought that those only fit the same pegs, the Peloton pegs were the only pegs that they fit on. That would be fucked up because I imagine there's people who are real
cyclists who get on it to train and then just clip out and clip into their
real bike.
Yeah.
I hope so.
I haven't tested that theory.
I hope this is true.
Shay.
I'm always excited when you're on for obvious reasons,
because you're the best guest,
but also even before I've watched the episode, I'm walking i was making my smoothie this morning going oh cool we have shay
on and then i said oh i know it's a good episode of the show because i always say to shay first off
when we start a new season what do you which episode you want to come on for right and when
he chooses this one i was like okay well I know it's going to be a good one.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anytime that you all are nice enough to let me come on the show, one of the things that I definitely try to do, and this is something that the brilliance of the show as it was displayed in that particular episode,
but also, B, some larger part of the show's legacy.
So that's why when I got your message
about being on season three, I said,
well, absolutely, because here's the thing.
Okay, a very common thing happening right now
because we had that giant Last Dance documentary
earlier this year,
and then the Lakers won the title a week ago,
is there's this whole LeBron versus Jordan debate is like stirred up again.
Who's the greatest basketball player of all time, right?
And that's fun.
That's a fun thing to think about and to participate in.
But if we move at a level past that,
if you change the parameters of the debate just a little bit,
it can become i think more
interesting because inevitably talking about lebron versus jordan becomes a thing where you're
trying to solve too many problems at once you're trying to account for the different eras the
different salary caps the different ways in which basketball importance is measured it's like trying
to solve for x at the same time that you're trying to solve for y you know what i'm saying yes so if
you change it a bit rather than making making it Jordan versus LeBron,
you make it Jordan versus Jordan.
When was Jordan at his absolute greatest?
What season did we get the best ever version of Jordan?
That to me is a little more interesting.
And if we tie that back to Scrubs and to this podcast,
that's why I was pumped up to be on here.
Scrubs is one of the greatest TV shows of all time.
We're all very clear on that.
It's smart.
It's funny.
It's tender.
It's well-written, well-acted, well-directed, well-scored.
It hits all the spots that you need a TV show to hit
for it to get into that conversation.
But here's a question that I have spent a fair amount of time thinking about
and a fair amount of time arguing about,
even more so than where does Scrubs belong
on the list of all-time great TV shows.
What season was Scrubs at its absolute greatest?
What season did we get the best single stretch of episodes, the best storylines, the best character weaving, the most impactful acting?
All of it.
And season three is one of two seasons of Scrubs that has a rightful claim to that throne.
It's season three and it's season five.
In season five, we have the Miss Wilkes
episode. We have the two-episode arc where Dr. Cox falls into the Depression. We have the Wizard
of Oz episode, which was great because of how ingenious it was, but also because that's the
episode where Ted has his single most beautiful musical performance. We have the sitcom parody
episode. We have Turk finds out that Carla's pregnant before she does episode. There's a
bunch of them, too. It's a really, really special stretch of the show season three gave us the ben
episode um it gave us the the michael j fox arc the two episode arc there which is beautiful it
gave us turk and carla getting married which was wonderful uh we get the take me serious episode
from elliot which is great the butterfly episode which is another example of the show's ability to get you leaning in one direction and then fucking shove you in the opposite
direction at the end of the show and then we have this episode here my brother where arthur where
jd's brother shows up again and i'm fucking super pumped to talk about it because it's just
so great that that confrontation in particular all of the rest of the episode too.
Oh my God.
I just want to point out one thing real quick. Before we go on any further.
Before we go on any further.
Before we go on any further.
That was Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
Thank you guys for listening.
I was going to make a similar comment
in that I want the audience to know
Shay's not reading off of notes.
That fucking amazing monologue he just did was off the cuff and impromptu,
and I got goosebumps three times, and you are just so fucking well-spoken.
It makes me think like I should quit this podcast and get in the fetal position.
But thank you.
This is only because I spent all of that time
working on the Scrubs book.
No, I know, I know.
But you also, dude, dude, dude,
you are, you are,
I know you are not going to, like,
you shouldn't waste your talents
running for public office,
but you're such an amazing public speaker.
You just can, like, riff so fast.
You're not like, there's no ums,
there's no, and you know likes.
You're just like,
like you're reading a fucking teleprompter.
That was amazing.
And on that note, for all y'all out there, five, six, seven, eight.
Stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate.
I said, here's a story that we all should know.
I said he's got stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Welcome to the program, everyone. It's officially started.
Sorry that it's, you know, we're running behind because Donald was 13 minutes late
because he decided to get in shape for the first time today. Thank you, Donald. For the first time, pretty much for this, you know, he decided to get in shape for the first time today thank you donald but the first time pretty much for this you know i tried to get in shape in
the beginning of quarantine right and now it's like we're going into our third trimester i guess
of quarantine we're about to give birth it's getting rough it's about it's about to be a
full-on baby it's getting rough it's getting bad it's getting bad people we got a big election
coming up donald voting is sexy i'm wearing my voting is sexy t-shirt for you guys. Yeah, we're not going to get political
today on any of that shit. No, I'm not trying to go down. I'm not trying to be Donnie Wormholes.
I know you're not. I know you're not. But I'm going to say one thing to all of our listeners.
The one thing that you have to do, if you are in the United States of America. The one thing you have to do this year, this November 3rd,
is vote.
It is the most important
thing you will do this
year. You didn't do shit. You all
were locked inside anyway because of the pandemic.
This is the time to get
out. And I'm not being political.
This is not a policy thing. Don't apologize.
It's too much on the line.
100 million people didn't vote last time.
Do you know that?
100 million eligible people didn't vote.
That is ridiculous.
That is ridiculous.
Slow tear coming down my face.
And so I don't care who you vote for.
I don't care.
I care.
I care.
I do.
Donald likes to be extra apolitical, but I care.
Okay.
They care who you vote for.
I don't care who you vote for if you vote for
who you vote for and you don't like me that's fine vote for who you vote for and you know i've
already got one shay knows because he follows me on twitter i've already gone all in like
the people who fucking the people who hate me are gonna hate me already because i just i'm i'm all
in i'm like fuck it it's like poker i'm all in i can't take it anymore i hear that anyway so just
wait i want to ask I want to ask.
I want to ask.
Yeah, definitely please vote.
Look into what's going on in your state because on the day of, there's likely to be extraordinary long lines.
So if you're in Pennsylvania, for example, as I understand it, you can vote in person the whole week before.
So don't get caught in some craziness.
Obviously, plenty of states have early voting that
starts now. Texas, what up? Yeah, I think that just do us a favor. You can go to Iwillvote.com
or you can go to the thing that Donald and I supported, which is headcount.org slash Zach
and Donald. Beanie Falstein has a platform that she's doing also, and I don't want to get it
wrong. And so we'll bring it up later on in the program when I have my notes in front of me.
Okay. Are you planning to get your notes at all? I just want to know when that's going to start.
No, I have. I have the show notes. I don't have the notes for her voting site.
Can I spend 30? We're not going to get in a political wormhole, so don't worry
if I'm going to ask one question, because
I have three, Donald aside,
I have three very intelligent people
here who are very... Oh, shit!
No, you're smart, but you're not as
politically savvy as
I know Daniel and
Joelle are, and I imagine Shay is just
from following him on Twitter. So I'm going to ask...
I'm going to ask one question. We're not going to get on a huge wormhole but and i'm gonna be face
stop shut up i'm gonna be impartial and just ask a question daniel joelle and shea if you're
interested can you explain to me the movement of people that are very liberal and very to the left
and wanted bernie or eliz or Elizabeth Warren or or or anybody else and
are passionately not getting behind Biden now. Can you just explain to me in a as pretend I know
nothing, which I almost do, what the ideology is behind voting third party or someone else
when that clearly helps Trump go? There are people who believe that neither side is supporting or passing laws or doing the things
they actively need to be doing to help the people that they represent. And that's across
all spectrums, black, Latinx, queer, differently abled, all of it. And they just feel like
their vote is sacred and therefore they should
cast it for who they believe is you know the best person in their mind damn the rest of the results
uh and that is their feeling and they are will be hard pressed to find a lot of those people to be
moved one direction or the other because they just feel so failed by the system as a whole
yeah that sounds exactly right.
I have nothing else to add.
They can vote for whoever they want to. I just want them to vote.
It's still speaking your voice.
I know.
I know.
Don't at me because I'm asking it as innocently
as possible. Even if that doesn't
go to the greater good of getting the bad
man out, they're like, fuck it.
You didn't go for Bernie kind of vibes.
There's definitely a group of people like that.
I'll let Dan,
I'll take that one.
Cause that's,
I mean,
all I was going to say is that like,
you know,
what has been universally accepted as the greater good has not been the
greater good for so many people who have been disenfranchised,
who haven't had their voice heard for generations and generations.
And despite how many times that we have said in the past,
like,
you know, really this, you know,
you're going to do this when you should be voting for this.
Neither party has ever represented those people.
And it's like, it's a problem with the two party system. And it's a problem with how we view politics
in this country in general.
But I do not necessarily blame people
for feeling like they are not represented
because the fact is a lot of people
haven't been and still aren't. So I'm not, I'm honestly not blaming anyone. I just didn't
fully understand the, the ideology behind like, and I, what you're saying is like, yeah,
they hear that every fucking four years and they're tired of it. And I get that. I just,
as someone who's so passionate about this and I know so is a good
percentage of the population,
I just, I kind of want to,
maybe I'm the guy who's the idiot being like,
oh, come on, guys, just one more time. And they're like,
fuck off. I get it. I respect it.
I just didn't fully understand it. So thank you for articulating it.
Let's get off this now.
Thank you. Should we talk about the television
show Scrubs, guys? Let's do that.
Now, Shay, as you know, we have a 47-second summary from Donald Faison these days.
I hope when Shay's on, Donald, you put a little extra effort into it because the man writes very articulately about the show.
You know, this is starting to turn into a fuck with Donald situation.
Am I ruining your endorphin high
from the spin bike you know i was i was feeling good when we got on the podcast today and now
i'm starting to feel like uh you know uh like my best friend is being a bit of a dickhead
i love you i love you i apologize and i take your, your ball sweat and just squeeze it all over my head.
Not again.
Too much,
too much.
All right.
I'm sorry.
Trying to win him back.
Say no more.
You've done your job.
It's like you had me at hello.
You had me at my ball.
All right.
You ready?
And are you ready?
And go.
JD's brother Dan
is back, and he can't believe the way
JD is evolving as a doctor.
The rest of the cast is
trying to make ends meet, moonlighting
behind the hospital's back.
Now we all do what we can to get over the proverbial hump.
And it's easy
to get lost chasing our destiny.
It doesn't take much to get back on track
if someone is looking
out for you you're lucky if you have that oh okay very nice donald faze on that was uh that was
shorter than usual and well said uh family right i mean family is a a central tenet of this how do
you navigate these relationships of people you love who drive you fucking nuts.
Right.
Yeah.
But it's more,
it's more than that though.
This episode,
man,
it's,
it's yo,
your brother fights for your soul at the end of this episode.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He fights for your soul.
And he goes,
he never knows,
by the way,
I love the JD never knows.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But Cox knows.
And in the beginning,
you know,
I'm getting chills thinking about this shit.
Cox doesn't give a fuck.
The job's getting done.
He doesn't care what this kid's turning into.
Life is moving on in the hospital, and it takes somebody to show up out of nowhere,
somebody who cares for this one person, who Cox cares for, too, to show up and be like,
dude, all right, I get it.
This is a hospital, and people die, and you got to go through all of these tragic moments.
And the only way to cope is this way. But yo, this is my brother, man. And I love this man.
I love him so much. Please don't let him fall into the same category that you're falling into.
Don't let him fall down the same path that you've gone down. You know what I mean? Don't let him
turn to the dark side because there's so much light in him. You know what I mean? And he sees
that I could be something better than i am and i
even when i don't see it in myself my brother has this positive energy about him please don't take
that away from him and he's begging at the end of the show he's begging even though he might get his
ass kicked he even throws a threat at the end of it like i will fuck you up if you ruin my brother
he pretty much tells him that yeah cox gets it and walks away you know spoiler alert
he gets it and walks away and gives jd the pep talk at the end but no but dan dan makes dan makes
a big difference he says look i'm not anything i'm i i i'm not gonna be a doctor who saves lives i my
life i still live with my mom and i don't have anything going on but this kid he wanted to become
a doctor more than anything and i'm watching you watching you and you're slowly making him cynical and pessimistic and making jokes about death.
And how dare you?
Like, you need to, you're the one.
He'll do anything you say.
You need to keep that light inside of him.
And then the fact that JD never knows.
And then Cox gives him a pep talk at the end, I thought was really moving.
What do you think, Sherry? One more thing, Sherry, before you go. nose and then and then cox gives him a pep talk at the end i thought was really moving what do
you think one more thing before you go like i didn't think this was the funniest episode of
the season i don't think this is the funniest episode we've seen so far no but as far as as
far as a point being made yes this was it dude and when i found out she was going to be on the
show i was like of course he's going to be on this show i mean this is this is the one this is the the one that i i greatly uh enjoy to watch to your point zach the thing
about him about jd never finding out about the speech i think that opens up like a really
interesting conversation to get into because earlier in the episode jd sort of chastises
dan about having never been there for him.
You never showed up when I needed you to.
And then we see this other thing happen.
And so the viewer is left to wonder one of two things.
Number one, was Dan secretly always in the background standing up for J.D., helping him get to where he needed to go or wanted to go?
Or was this really the first time and J. jd is like spurred on this great big
change and his brother every time his brother showed up jd would say something or do something
that would inch him in the direction he he needed to be to be hitting it's one of i think like
it's one of three or four things that happens in this particular confrontation between
dan and dr cox that is so interesting to think about because the guy, was it Tom Cavanaugh?
Yeah, Tom Cavanaugh.
Is just outstanding here.
He steps into this role and just nails it.
And it speaks to a larger thing that Scrubs is really good at.
One of the things that always comes up when people talk about the show
is how it was probably the best ever at navigating those turns
when an episode would go from something being totally and completely silly
to being something totally and completely serious.
Like, and that's what we see here.
Here he is giving this, this really touching, really heartfelt monologue.
And just a few minutes earlier, there was a scene where him and Turk and JD are a traveling
fart show.
It's so bad.
And like that happens in the span of a few minutes.
And it somehow doesn't detract away from the emotion of the situation.
That's amazing.
That he's able to summon during that confrontation.
If anything, it enhances it.
It's amazing.
It's almost like, this might be a stupid analogy, but like swimming with weights on in that you go so extreme one direction that you're able to swing the other direction.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. stream one direction that you're able to swing the other direction yeah do you know what i mean yeah you make a you're doing the stupidest fart joke probably in nine years we're like we're
literally on tour as a fart band i mean like i'm embarrassed that we did that but then then that
that you go so far the silly direction that is that you can almost spring back and be and be
stronger in the emotional direction maybe yeah and what's fun to do is if
you're re-watching the show with like that in mind you figure out that every single time a big moment
like that happened it was preceded by something really really outrageous and goofy later on you
guys will do the the ben episode and when you re-watch that the scene immediately before that
is just outrageous in comparison to those two so there's that part of it there's john c mcginley who
fucking what a master this guy is once once dan gets going into his monologue the meat of it the
important part dr cox doesn't have a single word to say in it not one he just stands there
and absorbs everything and it and in probably anybody else's hands in a less skilled actor's
hands it's just empty space right there but with john c mcginley he fills it up if it's
fat with emotion and a realization he has a really quick part in there where he takes a big breath as
dan is talking dan is giving it to dr cox and dr cox is just like like he just that's the that's
the breath of somebody who knows that they're being read like a fucking book right now yeah and
he and he just doesn't say anything back he never argues with dan about jd being special which is like his way of being like
you're right he is that's my bad it's it's great i really like that and then the last one and i
don't know if i'm just like reading too far into it at this situation but the way that they shoot
that scene they're outside on the walkway outside of the hospital and because of the way that the
stage the scene is staged dan is closer to the door dr cox is closer to the ramps exit and dr cox who is otherwise
a full inch taller than dan because of the way that they are and the scene has to look up at him
and it's one of the few times in the show that we see dr cox in that position usually he lords over
everybody over every situation not here though he has his chin up. He's exposed. Oh, my God.
Vulnerable, even.
It's like the same thing.
That's amazing.
Yeah, with Brendan Fraser's character, with Ben.
He's so much taller than him.
He's always sort of chin out, ready to get hit in it.
Subconsciously, you're watching this scene,
and you don't really register that it's happening,
but you can, like, something weird here is happening.
You can feel it.
Dr. Cox is open to this criticism that Dan,
a person who he does not like one single percent,
is offering him.
And you're like, oh, that's,
I don't know if they did it on purpose,
but it's really cool.
I wouldn't be surprised.
It was Mark Buckland,
who was one of our best directors
on the whole run of the show.
And episodes are always extra special
when Mark Buckland was the director.
And I wouldn't be surprised if that was a choice
because it's little subtle things like if that was a choice because uh and it's little
subtle things like that that make a huge difference there's a there's a really big
there's a moment in there that i that i feel like we're missing also i feel like dr cox is also
proud of dan like oh shit i didn't see this i didn't see this coming yeah he shakes his hand
yeah he's like he's like, holy shit.
Okay.
And then he says, all the best.
All the best.
Okay, Dan.
All the best to you, buddy.
Good for you for doing that.
Right on.
You know what I mean?
And it's not condescending.
I'm making it sound condescending right now.
But it really is one of those moments where he's like, holy shit, this dude.
It's a testament to the power
of love also this dude is willing to step to me right here on my turf right now and fight for his
brother okay i have the speech you want me to read it real quick yeah please do it yeah i won't try
and perform it like tom cavanaugh because he crushed it he crushed it but just because just because we're talking about it so much and it happens to be on the web,
I thought I'd just quickly read it for everybody who hasn't just watched the episode.
And here it is.
He says, hey, listen, Dr. Cox, no offense.
I'm a big fan of the tough guy act.
But let me tell you what I really think.
I think you love the fact these kids idolize you.
Johnny does.
Johnny was always the one in the family we knew
was going someplace. Sweet kid, smart kid. Becoming a doctor, that's all he ever wanted.
And yet somehow you found a way to beat that out of him, haven't you? Turned him into some kind of
cynical guy who seems to despise what he does. Dr. Cox, Johnny's never going to look up to me,
ever. But he hangs on every word you say.
So I'm asking.
No, I'm telling you.
Take that responsibility seriously.
Stop being such a hard ass.
Otherwise, you're going to have to answer to me.
You did a really good job right there, Zach.
Not bad.
Not bad.
That was great.
Not bad.
I started not trying to act, and then I got all of you.
I'm sorry.
Sorry. But Tom did it better. But anyway, the point is, it's great. Not bad. I started not trying to act, and then I got all of you. I'm sorry. Sorry.
But Tom did it better.
But anyway, the point is, it's great writing, and it's awesomely performed.
And Shay, you're right.
Johnny C is, you know, if you're an actor who thinks that they don't have a lot of lines,
it's the ultimate example of, in a scene, watch how good Johnny C is with almost no words.
And how he listens.
Acting is so much about listening. and just watch how he genuinely listens and this is an episode where he has to talk throughout most
of the episode and his strongest moment in the episode is when he says nothing that's a really
good that's that's a really good actor right there you know i what? I played golf with Johnny yesterday. Oh! How did that go?
Burying the lead. That's what they call that.
It went
fabulous. We had a wonderful time, man.
Who won?
I'll let Johnny talk about it
when he comes on the show.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
He is one.
First of all, I knew that he liked liked to play golf i didn't know he loved
golf and it was a lot of fun to watch you know there's there you know we've known we've all
known each other for so long there's very little that we don't know about each other and this was
one of those things like i've never had to compete against a compete with johnny
you know right i would be terrified of that because as i love him to death and he's a sweetheart but
there's a there is a little bit of jd and cox in us and i i wouldn't want to compete against
johnny i feel like he would get all too too into it for me he plays tennis too there's there's oh
we need to we need to sincerely like look we've spent enough time like just it being you and me.
We need to we need to pull Johnny into the fold.
We need to pull Johnny into the fold.
What you're saying is we should pull maybe bring him into our bar.
What do you call it? Our pod? Because you and I are pod buddies.
Yeah, it would be it would behoove us to do that because then we could go to his house.
We could go and hang out on the land.
Johnny has a baseball field.
Johnny has Field of Dreams, Shay.
He lives in Malibu and bought a piece of property next to him that's big enough that he built a baseball field a la Field of Dreams.
That's incredible.
He heard, he heard, if you build it, it will come.
Yeah, he built it.
That's that syndication money.
Yeah, that's that syndication money. Yeah.
That's that syndication money.
He put that all into a baseball field.
I don't know about that. Donald put it into 47 kids.
Yeah, I don't know.
I was about to say I put that into.
Donald, if you only had two kids, you could probably have a baseball field.
Right.
I put it all into my sperm and shot away.
Those are expensive sperm you shot, bro.
All right.
So how did it go?
How did it go?
It was a lot of fun.
We had so much fun.
And we played at Sherwood Lake, which is a cute little par 3 18 hole.
But it's made by Jack Nicklaus.
And so it's a very well-designed course.
And he invited me out there.
And we played.
Is that a club thing?
Or can anybody go there?
It's a club thing, but we're going to try and make it a Thursday thing for Johnny.
Oh, I would love that for you, man, because listen, I know how much you love golf,
and I know that it would be great for you as your friend, as your best friend.
I would love for you to have a regular day you played,
especially with someone as cool as Johnny.
Well, I would want to play with Johnny because he's like my fucking brother,
dude.
I've known him pretty much half of my life.
You know what I mean?
When you look at it now,
you guys,
you guys,
you don't have to tell me who won,
although I'm assuming it's you.
Did you,
did you feel evenly matched in terms of like,
you weren't waiting on each other.
You can play together.
No,
I'm not going to say I won.
I would say Johnny beat me if anything,
but it was my first time playing the course
and I never...
Interesting.
Maybe if you had a golf simulator
you could have won. I'm interested in the
uncertainty here because they keep score.
You just look at the number at the end
and you know who won. Why are you being so cryptic?
Who the fuck won?
There's different...
There's no money involved.
There are different rules, you know what I mean?
You get McGillas.
What are they called?
McGillas?
Mulligans.
McGillas, you got it.
McGillas.
You get McGillagorillas?
You get McGillas?
McGillas.
What's a McGuffin?
How much is that monkey in the window?
That's a McGillagorilla, right?
That's a McGillagorilla.
A McGuffin.
Isn't that a mission that you go on?
A MacGuffin is like in a movie,
like the random bit of bullshit you have to make up
just to make the plot work.
You're like, I don't know.
And then there'll be some MacGuffin,
like, I don't know, because of this.
Like a dagger showing up out of nowhere
to show you where the crashed Death Star
has the wave finder that leads to Exegol, even though it blew up.
Exactly like that.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know, but it's like you come up with some weird plot device to make the plot work.
You're like, that's what I'm going to do.
Like the Emperor coming back to life, even though he was dead.
Okay, let's try to stay away from that area.
You have Shay here. You can talk about your basketball. Okay, let's try and stay away from that area. You have Shea here.
You can talk about your basketball, the Lakers winning.
The Lakers did it.
Okay, I was going to say this, Shea.
You were saying you don't want to compare LeBron and Jordan
and all of that stuff.
But I'll say this.
LeBron went two more rings.
He's been to the finals more than Jordan,
and he's got those six rings too.
That becomes a really like i
don't know how you argue against that you can't you can't you can't deny it if he wins two more
dude i don't know how yeah i don't know i think he stayed in the game longer it doesn't mean he's
better jordan left he could have done two or three more but he was done with the game he was like
we saw him we saw him in washington and he was yeah. Yeah, he was done. He was done.
He was several years out of the game, though.
He wasn't physically.
From my perspective, Jordan's sneakers are way nicer.
They are.
Otis Birdsong didn't play.
I agree with that.
I'm not bringing up Otis Birdsong or Mike Jeminski, bro.
Okay.
All right?
I will say this.
With the stats and then having won six rings,
there's no way that you will be able to deny LeBron being the GOAT.
Jordan, forever.
I can't hear anything you're saying.
People will still deny it.
See, Joel will still deny it.
But yeah, I think he just is leading in too many things now to be like,
well, you can't disregard all of the numbers anymore.
Does LeBron, excuse me for not knowing does he do that
fucking epic hang time with the tongue out shit he does not oh i like that i used to have a poster
of that on my wall that's michael jordan next to my phantom of the opera beach towel that was hung
like a tapestry you'll be happy to know i did have michael jordan like this dunking with his tongue
out because i thought that was cool and I wanted to fit in with other kids.
All right, let's talk about the show scrubs, guys.
GOMER is a real term.
It stands for get out of my emergency room.
And apparently it was something that the doctors used to call old people
because they were like, oh, get this GOMER out of here
because they were just taking up a bed.
That's kind of like calling an ATM an ATM machine.
So you're saying get this Gomer out of here,
but you're saying Gomer, which stands for get out of my emergency room.
So get this guy out of my emergency room out of here.
Okay, well, then pick a different sentence.
I got a Gomer in bed three johnny
got it okay well i'm just saying i'm just saying that's because it pisses me the fuck off when
somebody's like i gotta make it to the atm machine and you're like you just said machine machine
motherfucker okay all right i gotta make it to the atm machine machine there's way more machine
takes right now way more like letter takes than
I was anticipating.
I laughed when
Johnny's about to
offer a hug and I go in for the hug.
My arms kind of go up and I'm like, I think I'm going to get a hug.
That made me laugh. I laughed at
pickles. Pickles. Mr.
Bober and his pickles. That senior
citizen actor was in another episode i
forgot where but this was um his second time being a patient on the show and when we did and when we
did uh undateable was the character mr bober that was touching all of the old people was that or was
it mrs bober that was doing it i don't't recall. I don't remember. You don't remember?
So yeah, this guy, he was Frank Bober here.
Yeah.
Was a character. But I just saw in Scrubs Wiki that he had appeared.
We should mention this was written by Mike Schwartz,
who's incredible, one of our favorite Scrubs writers,
hilarious guy and good human being.
How many dog piles have you been under in life but i haven't been
in a dog pile probably since like college like drunkenly right i remember being in dog piles
and you like being under like 20 feeling like you're under 20 people you're gonna die you're
gonna die yeah and then you get all claustrophobic you get all claustrophobic
i've never been in a dog pile.
Do gentlemen always lead with their elbows?
Is that a thing?
Is he intent to hurt, or is this a secret way guys get to cuddle?
It's the latter.
It's the latter.
Are you kidding me?
No, we just cuddle.
It is definitely.
Let me tell you something, Joelle, that you need to know.
It is intended to hurt, too, though.
That Donald doesn't want to talk about there is a lot there is a lot
of male-on-male wrestling to to make up for like yeah sexual tension and i don't mean i don't and
i don't mean to imply that the guys necessarily want to fuck i just mean that they they have the
testosterone and and they just want to it is like it's fucking male cuddling it's like wrestling and
i remember being in high school being like,
the dude was like pinning me.
And like, we're like, I don't know.
It felt in hindsight, a little like sexual.
Okay.
I don't mean to say that we were going to dock.
I just mean that like there was,
there was testosterone-y tension.
Okay.
Here's a great, here's a great question.
Have you wrestled as a grown man though, is the question.
A man? Have you wrestled as a grown man? Yeah. Not Have you wrestled as a grown man, though, is the question. A man?
Have you wrestled as a grown man?
Not have you wrestled as a kid?
No, I wrestle my girlfriend sometimes,
but I don't wrestle another man as a grown man.
Dude, I once got...
You're like, dude, we've got to do this.
I once got drunk with Jacob Vargas and Sullivan Stapleton.
Jacob Vargas, that's my guy.
Yeah, I love Jacob Vargas.
And Sullivan Stapleton, who was on Blindspot.
We were doing a pilot together, and we were living in New Mexico.
Oh, God.
And we were drunk out of our mind in either Jacob's room or Sully's room or my room.
I don't remember where it was, but we started wrestling.
And let me tell you something right now.
There ain't nothing like being drunk and grown
and wrestling with another motherfucker.
Listen, listen.
I will fuck you if you don't hear me.
And you're strong, man.
Donald, could they keep up with you?
Because you're really fucking strong.
Yeah, fucking Slly is way bigger
than i am dude and he's way stronger than i am so he's throwing me around like a rag doll
and i'm trying to be like i'm trying to grab him and be like i will fuck you you know you're trying
to get all posturous i will fuck you up you motherfucker and you start you know and you're
trying to get into it it always gets more serious than it's actually drunk. If you just take the up off,
I will fuck you.
And you're,
you're proving my point.
I will fuck you.
There's a,
there's a,
there's a thing inside of all,
uh,
Mexicans,
Jacob,
Jacob Vargas is Mexican American.
So if you told me I got drunk with Jacob Vargas in my head,
I'm like,
Oh,
that means you probably wrestled with Jacob Vargas.
That's just how that goes.
Why Mexicans like to wrestle?
Dude, we fucking love it.
We fucking love it.
I wouldn't fuck with Donald.
Donald, you scare me.
There's been times over the years
where we get a little bit serious
and I'm trying my best,
but you just fucking crush me.
Listen, I'm telling you something right now.
I didn't think I would like it
as a grown man
to be rolling around like that,
but that shit is fun dude
i came so hard
it was one it was one it was one it was one of these
so um we we kind of skid by this but carla has phone sex with Turk's 11-year-old nephew?
Yes.
She says he was so worldly.
Right.
And then later on, they call it back
and what did you say?
My nephew was asking
what you're wearing. How sweet is that?
Yeah.
When she says
worldly, was she like,
oh, and I'm going to do this? And he's like, oh yeah? Well, tell me what you're going to do
with that when you get it.
Dude, Elliot's attempt
at phone sex in the woods
is hilarious.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong.
Didn't we talk about Elliot's
obsession with nipples?
Did we talk about that?
Like she licked somebody's nipples
so she licked nipples in another sex scene you know there's not a lot you can do in a broadcast
tv sex scene so i think that like you're run out of ideas quickly so it's like well nipples are
we allowed to lick nipples all right we'll lick nipples male nipples in this scene lick male
nipples elliot says something about licking sean's nipples yeah and it only he almost
and he almost and he almost gets there
He says I'm close and she says I don't care if you're close
No she says
She's trying to do some phone sex in the woods
For those of you who haven't watched it
And are just needing to be reminded
She goes nipples Sean
Because they're having bad connection
I'm trying to lick your nipples
And then a troop of boy scouts
Stumbles upon her in the woods
and she says i don't care that you're close i'll call you later meaning meaning that that almost
drove him to completion the thought of being told i'm licking your nipples your nipples sean
scott foley was like hello um the first time we've ever done a short
title sequence like this i believe i'm no superman yeah you know we were locked into the time so
eventually if bill couldn't get it to a place where he's like i can't have you know if he needed
a few more seconds he's like this is gonna hurt the show if i bill was a master and is a master
of cutting things down.
We would get things, both with my films I've showed him,
like what the hell am I going to cut to get this time down?
He's so good at that.
But sometimes he'd be, I guess, I'm assuming this is the first time he was like,
you know what, I'm going to take the credit sequence out
because I need that for the show.
So this is the first one I remember that's like, I'm no Superman.
Do you remember any of the things that Bill cut
that you were like so hell bent on having on the show
and then it was gone and you were like,
fuck, I really wish that would have been.
You know, I wasn't really aware
because when I was just an actor,
I wasn't really micromanaging it like that.
When I had directed one, I would be so invested
and they would always be long.
They'd be like 35 minutes and they need to be 22.
So you're always like, I don't know how, here here, here, here, dad, I don't know how you're
going to do, but fix it.
And then, and then of course, when he delivered his 22 minute cut, there'd be a lot of like
pain.
Cause you'd be like, Oh no, how did you get rid of that moment?
Oh no.
Why did you, but you know, you had to do it.
It's it's, there's no choice.
You have to fucking cut it down.
Um, all right, we're going to go to break.
And when we come back, we are going to have a fan call.
Is that right, Joelle?
Yes, please.
We'll be right back after these fine words.
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Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions.
I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions,
including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
You can't go around it, so you just go through it.
This is a roadblock.
It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of
the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a
brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that
it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more.
Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
Seven questions, limitless answers.
Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars
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26 seasons of the samba, the rumba, and the cha-cha.
24 partners, six finals, and two mirrorball trophies.
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It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans.
We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today
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It's Chelsea Handler, and if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea, you know that I love
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Scratch Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
And we're back.
And we're back.
We have Chase Serrano, Zach Graff, and our guest is about to come on.
I'm Donald Faison, and we just connected to
Kate Zielinski. I'm Donald Faison and we just connected to Kate Zalinski
Kate Zalinski
Hi Kate
Oh boy, here we go Kate
She's pulling a Sarah Chalk, you're muted now Kate
Unmuted Kate, unmuted
This is very Sarah Chalk-esque
Now you're one step away from dropping your iPad
in the tub
Kate, hit the microphone on the bottom left.
The microphone on the bottom left.
Kate, you see that red?
Might change your audience.
Did I do it?
Yes.
Joel, I warned you in my email that I'm kind of like a real life Elliot,
and I just knew this would happen.
I knew this would happen.
Kate, I'm going to say something.
Kate, it looked like you gave up even before we said her mic was out. Yeah, she was like, fuck it. She was like, I'm going to say something Kate it looked like you gave up even before we said her mic was out
I'm done
I'm not even going to do fake doctors anymore
I don't even want to do fake doctors anymore
I didn't want to be on this fucking show anyway
it's very hard to get on this show I don't think you give up
if your mic's on mute just for a second
I think you really right Joelle
you should focus
you sift through a lot of
people that want to be on this program.
I am so prepared.
I have a hairband, a mask, a martini, a water bottle.
This isn't let's make a deal.
You're not going to need those things.
I'm currently hiding from my family like you, Donald.
I have been sitting here like,
you're not going to fuck this up.
Listen, no, listen, in all seriousness, Kate,
there's no wrong answer. All right.
If you say anything horrible, it'll be amazing.
People love it.
Okay. So you like to go by Zelinsky.
Oh, well, my, my, I, sometimes when I'm mad at myself,
I call myself by my maiden name, which is Riley.
Okay.
So that's why I stuttered,
because usually when I'm like, fuck, Riley, fuck,
you know, that's like... Wow, you are very Elliot-esque.
You're improving to be very Elliot-esque.
That was a lot like Elliot going, fuck, fuck.
Seriously, yeah.
It's not a great way to go through life, guys.
Well, welcome to the program.
It's called Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
We have the legendary writer and personality.
What are you besides a writer, Shay?
You're a philanthropist.
That's all.
No, you're a writer.
You're a philanthropist.
You're a Twitter superstar.
It's getting worse and worse.
Shay Serrano yeah writer philanthropy writer philanthropist first then twitter superstar as our only fans if you're
interested like oh shay i'd go on shay's only fans all right donald have you ever been on an
only fans i don't think we're allowed on no i'm not allowed on the only fans i don't think our
women i don't think our women would support us. Well, you're paying money.
I wonder, I wonder,
I really do wonder
what OnlyFans is like, because it can't
just be somebody on OnlyFans
just sitting there naked like,
this is what I do!
I don't know, Joelle, do you know what it is?
Isn't it just like a strip club, but someone's house?
Why you gotta go to Joelle?
You can come to me. I've lived with a lot of sex workers over the year,
cam boys and girls and such.
Let's talk about that song.
Wait, listen.
Wait, sorry, Kate.
Kate, you can mute your mic again.
Joelle, you live with sex workers?
Yeah, there's a whole era of Joelle
y'all know nothing about.
Wow, that sounds like a good podcast.
Yeah, one day I'll talk about my college days.
But yeah, the kids, you know, they enjoy it.
They love the OnlyFans.
And yeah, it's just amateur porn, essentially.
But the cool thing about OnlyFans, you're paying the sex worker directly
as opposed to a large company or getting it for free.
You know, there's a work-execution for this woman. for free you know so the cam sorry to interrupt
but the cam things they take a giant cut whereas this goes directly to the person and they can
control how much it charges and all of that stuff so there's some issues with the app that i'm not
you know knowledgeable enough to talk about it but do you think that donald and i make like
two four like 24 million or something like that? Very controversially.
Not 24 million.
Not 24 million.
How much did she make?
A lot.
I don't remember a lot.
Like 20 something million is what I think. I thought it was 2 million.
Then she said she wasn't going to do anything nude and everyone was like, well, then what
do we all pay for?
And then she was like, hey, hey.
Right?
Pretty much.
Pretty much.
Sorry.
Hi, Kate.
Sorry, Kate.
I feel like we should tell them why I picked you. Sorry, Kate. Go ahead. Hi, Kate. Sorry, Kate. I feel like I should tell them why I picked you.
Sorry, Kate.
Go ahead.
We digress.
Joelle, I don't know if you picked me because of my signs or because of my situation.
We can do situations and then sign.
Got it.
Okay.
Well, Zach, I am so touched at how protective you are of we nursing mothers who are fans of the show.
Yes.
Because, you know, people will tell you, even in like La Leche League.
Let her speak, Donald.
Let her speak.
Which like, you know, way to go, La Leche League and everything.
But they'll tell you, you know, breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world.
And it's like, nope, it's hard.
It's really hard for a lot of us.
Not everyone can do it.
And we just have to feed our babies.
And the latch thing is real.
The open wound nipples thing is real.
And you're sobbing at five in the morning
trying to give your child nourishment.
And so I don't listen to your podcast while nursing
because of Donald's loud voice.
But I just wanted
to ask Joelle. I mean, I listen every week.
I'm an enormous fan of the podcast and the show.
Kate, you're done.
No, no.
No, God.
But no, no, no, because I want
the Oprah voice, Donald. I do.
She wants to have her cake and eat it too, Donald.
She'll never get it again.
She wants the Oprah voice. She just doesn't want it
while she's dealing with a tricky latch. A tricky latch. Here's what you don't know, Donald. She'll never get it. She wants the Oprah voice. She just doesn't want it while she's dealing with a tricky latch. Here's what you don't know, Kate. Zach was being facetious when he
talked about the latch and everything like that. He doesn't care about your nipples. He doesn't
care. I do. I care about Kate's areolas. And let me tell you something. I had so many people tell
me that that they listen while breastfeeding. And I thought it was very charming.
And of course, if I was breastfeeding, I would get lost in a good podcast too.
It's perfect.
You're stuck at home.
You can't.
And it's also COVID.
So it's not like I get an escape by being like, I'm going to go to a movie and sleep
in a movie theater.
There's nothing to do.
I'm stuck at home.
I'm on the couch.
I'm nursing.
I'm pumping.
I'm holding my mama's boy, baby boy. And so there's not a lot to do. I'm stuck at home. I'm on the couch. I'm nursing. I'm pumping. I'm holding my mama's boy,
baby boy. And so there's not a lot to do, but I listened to the podcast in my car because I still
do my family's grocery shopping. And I listened in my car and I sit in the grocery store parking
lot with a drive-through coffee for like 10 or 15 extra minutes. And then I get home and I'm like,
the lines were so long. Whoa, I just wanted to lines were so long because I'm just hiding from my family
so you guys are my escape and that's what I told you well yeah thank you Kate you have a decision
to make then because I will make a promise to you right now that I won't yell anymore so you can
listen while you're breastfeeding no don't do that Kate while you got your life I would I would
never I cannot take I will give you that or I will give you the parking lot. Which one do you want?
She wants the parking lot.
It's her me time.
You know why?
Because if I took away the Oprah introductions from all future guests,
I would hate myself.
Yes.
I would not be kind.
A lot of people only listen to the show to hear Donald's Oprah voice.
Kate Zielinski, fuck them.
It's all about you, Kate.
I'm doing this for you and only you.
Are you kidding?
This is the first thing that's been about only me since my toddler's school shut down
and my job ended in March.
Like, this is the thing that is, this is the only thing that's been only me.
Kate, you sound like my wife.
Hold on.
I'm going to go get her.
No, don't go get her.
I love your wife.
Why are you getting her?
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, because i know why because she's
fixing to rant about donald not helping enough and i'll bet he thinks this is going to be some
couples counseling if he lets her rant on the show these people didn't tune in for
fucking donald's couples counseling they tuned in for a scrubs podcast um kate where do you uh live i live in richmond virginia
um but i'm currently the reason i have like this time to do it we're currently visiting
um my parents at their um lake house in north carolina so i'm that's got to be beautiful a
lake house it's wonderful it's an insane beautiful welcoming house on a beautiful lake. It's so nice to get away.
So, Kate, we're going to jump ahead to Fix Your Life real quick.
Here's my wife.
This is Casey Cobb.
This is Kate Zielinski.
Hi, Casey.
Hey, Kate.
Hi, guys.
Casey, your hair looks beautiful today.
Thanks.
I got it colored.
Yeah, very nice.
Casey, your hair looks beautiful today.
Thanks.
I got it colored.
Yeah, very nice.
Kate was just sharing how hard it is to be a mom and to have every single one of your minutes of your day go to taking care of your children and your family.
And Donald said, let me go get my wife.
So maybe you can speak to how you're coping and how you're making that work.
Because I know for a fact Donald isn't necessarily pulling his weight.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, I have to be honest, Kate.
Today I left and I went and got my hair done.
Good for you.
Good for you.
You know what?
I had grays all the way down to my ears.
And you know what? I knew that this was the only thing i could
do for myself granted i came home and there was shit everywhere and the kids ate donuts on their
lunch break and you know complete shit show i'm sure but look at my my husband told me yesterday
i have white trash roots because my hair hasn't been colored since February.
White trash roots.
And I said, honey, that's so lovely of you to tell your nursing wife, mother of two, full time everything.
Oh, my God.
And your nursing?
Oh, my God.
Casey, you told me once that you were like, because Kate just told a story about how sometimes she listens to the podcast and stays extra long in the supermarket parking lot.
sometimes she listens to the podcast and stays extra long in the supermarket parking lot.
And you told me a story once where you were like, I wanted to go to Chick-fil-A,
but I chose a Chick-fil-A like 45 minutes away because I needed a break.
No, it was literally the day that they announced that schools were closing.
And we are not that schools were closing.
They closed, you know, in the spring of last year.
But then when we weren't going back in the fall and they they told us and i literally just said i'm gonna go pick up chick-fil-a for everyone
i got in the car and i drove 45 minutes to chick-fil-a and cried my eyes out the entire way
there it's so hard because you know what and i'm sure your husband thinks he's helping but he's not about the breastfeeding story we all know he's not i mean in fact in fact we are going on our
first date um since october 31st 2019 tonight um we're at my parents lake house they're going to
watch the kids and we're celebrating our anniversary which was last week it's our first
date out so i put on makeup for the first time and god knows how long and my husband looked at me and he was like are you in a play tonight and i was like no you just you just
you just haven't seen me in makeup in a million years i don't like this husband so no but you
know zach you have to like this husband because my husband is an er physician who actually has a
now i like him but i wish he wasn't a making fun of your makeup and b making fun of your roots
those two things i don't like yeah and c and c i bet he still made you have sex when you came home wow
casey okay this is a guest in our podcast i apologize kate i'm sorry sometimes it's literally
just let me have three hours on the couch after the kids go to bed to not talk to me, not do anything.
Just let me watch my crappy TV and you load the dishwasher and don't even talk to me till the next morning.
And that's sexual.
And then Casey and I text about the true crime shows we're watching.
Donald doesn't watch them.
So Casey and I are like the two women and like drinking our white wine being like, did you see this one? It's hard. I mean, it is, it's true. It's so hard. And I don't,
I wish I knew how to fix it, but you can't imagine how happy my husband is for me in this moment.
He like, he has my daughter fishing on the dock. My mom has my 10 week old son. Like he was like,
get your shower, like, get your ready. Like he, you know, like he, he had me go shopping for a dress for our date tonight. He like sent me to an outdoor
mall with my mask. Like he is actually Zach, like he is the most supportive, incredible guy.
I'm liking him a little more. You had me at ER doc. Okay.
He is an ER doctor with a second specialty in hospice and palliative care.
I've been through it. I know i've been through it with
my my dad and my sister so i know who they are and i uh and actually yeah so yeah okay i like
him again just tell him not to make fun of your fucking roots you know you know it's just kind of
like casey you understand like donald says all the time like you know it's kind of fun to shit
talk your husband you love him more than life itself but it's just so fun to every once in a while be like, I hate him.
I do it more than I probably should. Tell him about the time you were thirsty.
Okay, I will. But let me tell you one thing though. A lot of the times, even though we blame the husbands, a lot of it is the kids because you know what? We do everything without even thinking
that there have been times that Donald is standing right
next to me and they're like, mom, I need this. And the other kid is mom, but you didn't do this.
And Donald's just sitting there zoned out watching TV. And it's, and I had, I just recently asked
Donald, I just recently started saying, guys, you have another parent right here. You have to
redirect because you end up doing it all yourself because you do it faster, better, and it gets done.
My daughter at like nine in the morning, because she knows how to play me now during COVID, will come into my bathroom and open the shower curtain for like my once a week shower I get and be like, can I have chocolate milk?
And I'm like, what's your dad doing?
And she's like, watching the news.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And I'm like, it's 9 a.m. No, you she's like why and i was like fine and it's just like fine yeah i don't care i give up i'll bet during
covid a lot of you moms are probably have to and shay i know you feel free to weigh in shay's got
kids i know a lot of you parents must be like a lot. Do you go quicker to fuck it? Yes. Have chocolate milk at nine.
100%.
That's why they had donuts for lunch today.
I feel no shame about it.
ZZ.
My daughter's easy.
Usually after her nap watches one 22 minute,
like Winnie the Pooh episode.
And every day she's like,
can I have two?
And I'm like,
you know what?
Like you've already watched your show.
She's like,
why?
And I'm like,
fine.
Have three, have three, have four. Your dad's in the er till midnight tonight have four
i'm nursing it's true you have you have to find something that you like to do or something for
you that nobody else likes to do and then you get to do it alone and you're on your own so now here's
the problem now here's the problem now i've's the problem now. I've been saying that forever.
Babe, you just got to find a hobby.
You got to find something
that you like to do by yourself.
You got to find what it is
that you want to do.
When I say that shit,
I'm an asshole
and I don't know
what the fuck I'm talking about.
But now she just spit that game
to all of us.
What if her hobby is
you fucking do the shit
for a fucking couple hours
while I go upstairs and watch fucking true crime?
That's my hobby.
I'm too tired to do anything else.
I regret bringing my wife up to that conversation now.
It's your fault, Azal.
You're the one who better than got her.
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My hubby happens to be
kind of beneficial to the whole family.
I love to cook.
I love to cook. Everything's about cooking. In fact, when I am nursing Zach, because be kind of beneficial to the whole family. I love to cook. I love to cook.
Everything's about cooking.
In fact, when I am nursing, Zach, because I can't listen to this podcast while I'm nursing because Donald's so loud.
I watch.
I say that too.
I tell him.
I watch episodes of the Barefoot Contessa because she's so soothing.
Joelle, do you love her?
I love her.
Goals, goals, goals, goals goals i don't watch her
but have you guys seen sorry this is a total non-sequitur but have you guys seen
my octopus teacher no no i've never oh my god you guys shay i know you love good fucking shit
write this down good my octopus teacher it's on netflix okay i'll watch that if you're listening
to this don't turn off the podcast but jot down in your brain my octopus teacher it's on netflix
everybody has netflix and it is an amazing documentary about uh a man who befriends an
octopus i love your i love your constant fear that when you recommend something people are
going to be like, fuck yeah,
and like turn off the podcast and immediately watch it. Well, because I think I'm a really good, I think I'm very good.
I think I'm very good at enrolling people.
I can be like, listen, I can convince you.
You have to watch this show.
It's so amazing.
I think I'm pretty decent at getting people riled up to try something,
but I don't want to rile them too far where they're like,
fuck this podcast.
I'm going to watch The Octopus Teacher now. All all right we got to move on casey we love you
oh my gosh she's so pretty yeah she's very pretty donald doesn't know how good he has it
no yeah i do what are you talking about? Yeah.
Well, that was kind of Fix Your Life.
So, Dan, let's do a posthumous.
Posthumous?
How do you say that word?
Sure, posthumous, yeah.
Posthumous playing of the Fix Your Life music right here.
Kate, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
You're welcome, Kate.
Do you have a question for any of us?
I know you have to go because you have date night, but do you have a question? No, but actually, the other couple that's driving 45 minutes from Asheville just told me they're running late.
So that gives me a little bit more time.
Oh, shucks.
All right, go ahead.
I won't take up your time, but you can take up mine now.
Go ahead, Kate.
What's your question?
Yes, I'm actually really glad that Shay's here because my first question is about cast and crew. Zach, it's for you mainly. I've always wondered how
when an actor is a star of a piece, kind of like Kevin Costner does all the time,
and they also direct. You've directed episodes of Scrubs and other projects that you've been the star of
who directs you
when you're in the scene
and I don't mean like here's your mark
here's your sight line
you finish a take with Donald
and I'm sure you're not like
Donald a little bit less
and Judy
that seemed a little whiny
and mean no no
so who's behind camera?
It's a very good question. It's a very good question.
So I'll just use the scrubs example. There'd be the writer of the episode.
In this case, it's Mike Schwartz.
And he would be sitting behind the monitor bill of course,
would come to the very first rehearsal of every scene and he would watch it.
He'd watch my blocking. He,
he didn't care too much about where the,
where the camera was for the specific director, especially when he trusted them. But he was basically blocking them. And most importantly, as the showrunner writer, are the jokes playing. And when the jokes weren't playing, he'd tweak them or rewrite them. And so he would see and he'd go, oh, so he could give me a note. And he'd be like, you know, when you do that line with Donald, you got to have more energy because of X, Y, and Z. And I go, got it, got it. And then he'd go off to go write with the writers.
The writer of that particular episode would stay on set at the monitors. So very often I would,
when the camera's on me and I'm directing, I would then, obviously you can tell if the crew's
laughing. If I'm in a scene with Donald and I'm making him laugh, I'm feeling good about it.
On my weeks, we would have playback. We wouldn't always have playback because it's a
time suck. But on what I'm directing, I would have the ability to go back and play back the take and
go, okay, that was good. Let's move on. So I do need to be able to play back the video. And then
I would just check in with whatever writer it was. But you know, one thing I got good at was
kind of sensing when I did Garden, when I had Garden State, which I was here, being on camera
and directing myself, you kind of just start to get a sense of like I I know when I'm good I know when I suck I know when I
that felt weird I didn't I mean do you just get to the point where you can be really honest with
yourself and know when you're not in your rhythm but you maybe need that writer or that ad or
someone to be for you to be like was that too big and for them to be like yeah that was too big you
definitely need a producer type who you trust,
who's a good writer, I think,
and or a first AD, a assistant director,
or sometimes a cinematographer I've had a great relationship with
who will whisper in your ear something.
That really helps.
Because I've had times where I went,
where I did like on Alex Inc.,
I remember doing like a really funny take
and I'm directing and I think it's good,
but I'm a little insecure about it.
And I go to the, I'm excited,
like sort of like walking back to the monitors and no one's
there. And I'm like, this, I don't like, this feels like tightrope walking without, without a
net because I, I, I don't know. I need fucking help. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I think that
that, um, I, I much prefer it. Um, when I have people I trust that I can make, do you think
that's good? Yeah yeah the great thing about my
favorite thing about acting directing is that i can steer the scene from within so if i if in my
opinion i want donald to be ang turk donald to be angrier in this moment i'm gonna fucking come at
him harder i'm gonna be more aggressive with my lines because i'm trying to steer him from within
the scene to get more riled up.
Or like when you want funnier lines or something like that.
The great thing about, you know, you would do it as an actor too,
but Bill would have a certain set of jokes and then you would have like five more
and you'd be like, just run them off.
And it would be great because you would get performances out of us where it was like,
we trusted you enough because we thought you were funny enough.
Also, your scope and your visual was what we trusted that enough also that we were like, yeah, man, whatever you want us to say, we're going to say that shit.
So we'd get to the end of scenes or we'd get to punchlines and stuff like that.
and Zach would throw new punchlines in and you trust it and go with it
because of the fact, you know,
that you've seen what he's done.
And also he was just so confident in doing it.
So Kate, when you say, you know, he's like,
he's like, this is a note for you.
This is the note for you.
And none for me, even if a director does,
even if the director is acting and he does do that,
the confidence that he's showing in the situation makes you more trustworthy.
Now, it's not my place because I'm not directing to say to the director or to another actor, I think you should do it this way.
I think you're doing it wrong.
But because he directed so many episodes, we got to it man i think the first episode it felt
a little weird but then after that it was like dude whatever you want zach so i think that's
kind of an attestment if i may like to compliment like the kind of examples that you have been for
positive male relationships and mature you know open men together also like, there's a lot of egos. I don't imagine that
that's always the case when suddenly your co-star and in your real life, best friend are coming out
and they're suddenly kind of in this status change, you know, and for you to just like,
take a note and not just swallow it, but like appreciate it and trust with.
Well, and also i would
say that he was rooting for me i mean he's my best friend and he was stoked for me he was the
opposite of an ego uh because he was like this is so cool you're directing you know that was the
vibe and johnny c2 i should say and i mean the whole cast the whole cast i never i everyone i've
been asked this before and i i think i've answered it but i'll say again when i started directing
the show there wasn't a single bit. They were all rooting for me.
They were all excited for me.
Bill, of course, was a competitive motherfucker.
But the rep, because he was a little like, okay, here's the hardest episode we've ever made.
But I won't fucking mention the zipline episode.
You already did.
You already know.
I didn't mention it.
I didn't mention it.
Now on my fucking Twitter feed, no matter what I write, people are like, oh, is this the episode about the zip line?
All right, fuck you guys.
But no, everyone was rooting for me and everyone was supportive.
And I loved it.
I loved it so much because, you know, Donald and I can make each other laugh so quickly and easily.
So when he's doing his – if he's got a big joke and I'm cracking up and then we're in the zone together and I go, ooh, do another take and say this.
And then he's willing to try it.
It's so much fun. It was amazing.
It also feels like
Scorsese and
De Niro or Scorsese
and Pacino. You know what I mean?
It's like, not that we're on that level
or anything like that. We are, Donald. Shay will tell us
that we are. I agree.
Shay endorses that we are.
But it's like, you know, Scorsese puts his friends in the movie.
He's not putting them in the movie to make them fall flat on their face.
You know what I mean?
And so when Zach is giving you direction and everything when we're shooting,
he's not doing it because he wants to get through the day.
He wants you to shine just like everyone else.
He wants everything to be perfect.
You know what I mean?
And so where there are people that come into a situation like this and they're just like, let's just get the lines right and everybody
and we can move on. I just want to tell my story and that's it. Whereas Zach is, wants to tell his
story, but he's also open to you expressing yourself in the piece. Yeah. Great question,
Kate. Do you have another one since we like you so much? Oh, you're so, you're so nice. Actually,
I would like to tell you just why I actually reached out to Joelle if I could, because I just think it's crazy. Um,
cause I don't believe out in signs unless they work out for me, but, um, I, I know, right. Um,
but there's not enough time in the day. Uh, I was doing one of my hiding from my family errands,
listening to the latest episode. And the errand I happened to be doing was I was returning some scrubs to a store that my husband had ordered online that were comically large on him.
Because, you know, we're all trying to order online and it sucks.
We have no idea.
And so I was listening to your podcast, returning scrubs.
And when I walked into the Un uniform city store that sells the scrubs
the song everywhere by michelle branch oh our anthem yeah your anthem and it was like
listen we were gonna i i thought i had her on the hook we were we were twitter dming i said
would you come on the show she goes sure and i go would you play everywhere live on acoustic and
she's like the dots came up and then they went play everywhere live on acoustic? And she's like, the dots
came up and then they went away. And I was like,
oh shit. It's like when you're out fishing
and the fish gets off the hook.
She left you on read, dog.
I haven't cast again. I feel like I can
throw out my... She left you on read, yo.
Is it left you on read or left you on read?
Isn't it left you on read? Same shit.
Read means spelled the same way, dog.
It's spelled the same way. At least I can brag that Michelle Branch left me on red same shit red green spelled the same way dog it's spelled the same way
at least i can at least i can brag that michelle branch left me on red yeah that's true that's
true and it was like right like zach it was right at the like you know the key change like the huge
key change and i was like oh god this is a sign so i like asked joelle if it was a sign and then
she got back to me i was like i so. Because I never do things like this.
I'm like, Elliot,
I never win a raffle.
I never win in anything.
No one picks me.
And as I can't believe
I'm actually here.
You're going to win.
Joelle, can we give her
some free shit?
No, no.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't need any.
Why, Donna?
I mean, no.
Why are you so anti
giving her free shit?
No, because she blamed me
for the unlatching of her kid
in the beginning of the episode.
I didn't. I purposely
never let you. I heard you
say that shit you said, and I know
breastfeed while listening.
Donald's too motherfucking loud.
You even said, because Donald's too motherfucking
loud. I heard you. You said it to my
wife. You even said it to my wife.
You even said it to my wife.
You got bold, and you said it to my wife. You even said it to my wife. Can I use my golden producer keys? You got bold and you said it to my wife.
You ain't getting shit, Zelinsky.
Zelinsky, you get jack shit.
You're getting too loud now already.
I said good day.
You're getting too loud now.
Areolas all over the world are puckering up.
Mash my mug on the floor.
You're actually making me like, you're making my milk let.
I'm going to start squirting.
Oh, my God.
Squirt because I'm so sweaty
and upset now.
I don't know if we're allowed to say that.
Hold on.
You guys
told people to wipe their balloon
knots with your...
Yes, yes.
Preferably Donald's, not mine.
I can say whatever
I want about my own breast milk.
Thank you, Kate.
Thank you, Daniel.
You're my favorite.
Did you see Cardi B's
nipples?
What?
You mean in the video?
No, Cardi B just had a nipple slip. Did you guys see this?
On Instagram.
I heard about it, but I did not view it.
I did appreciate in the WAP video, the fountains with the spring.
And in fact, in our house, a big thing that we sing to our 10-month-old,
or 10-week-old, excuse me.
Is the WAP song.
Honestly, Zach, I feel like a horrible human being.
But instead of the hook, the way it is in the song, we sing,
there's some babies in this house. there's some babies in this house and now my daughter has started she'll be like doing play-doh and
she'll be like there's some mamas in this house okay let you partake of GT's kombucha? Yeah, would you like some GT's kombucha?
I do.
I love kombucha.
Okay, let's send her some GT's kombucha.
I love it.
And I love the plainest, most like, you know, like the ginger that, you know, I love GT.
I love kombucha.
I've been drinking this one right here.
Peach pineapple aqua kefir.
You got this one, Donald?
Oh, yeah.
That's my jam.
I finished my martini.
Oh, congrats.
We will send you some GT's kombucha
and we will send you some GT's
aqua kefir. Yes.
For being such a wonderful guest.
We got to go, though, I think, right?
No, you should go. We got to go because we have
Shay Serrano, who's not getting nearly enough attention
on this fucking episode. Oh, no, this is great
for me. I got it. I got my stuff off.
Shea's been replaced by Areola Talk.
I don't like it.
You've been a great guest, Kate.
We're going to send you a whole bunch of GT's kombucha
and have a good
date night. For God's sake, have a good date
night. Thank you. Thank you guys so much.
There's some babies in this house.
There's some babies in this house. There's some babies in this house.
There's some babies in this house.
Give it up for Kate Zielinski!
There's some babies in this house.
There's some babies in this house.
There's some babies in this house.
Kate Zielinski!
Okay, bye Kate Zielinski.
She was a great guest.
I liked her a lot. She was very articulate
and smart and quick-witted.
I liked her.
Guys, let's talk more about the show Scrubs.
That's why we have a fancy Chase Arano guest here.
I'm so sorry.
Can you go to break first and then come back?
Joelle, I don't like to go to breaks.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry, audience members.
We're going long today.
So we'll be taking a break and we'll be right back.
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Dorians love them a fart joke, man.
I say this every time one of the Dorian family members is on the show,
but your dad, a lot of fart jokes.
Yeah.
I don't, I only like good fart jokes.
I don't like these fart jokes.
I didn't think these were impressive fart jokes in the show.
They were trying to harmonize their farts.
What's not funny about that?
What's not funny about that, dude?
They took the show on the road.
They cut to the audience, and all the audience have their T-shirts up above their noses.
So embarrassing.
Scott Rabideau, who was my stand-in.
And Katya Ortiz.
And Katya Ortiz, who was Judy's stand-in, both have a line, finally, in this episode.
RTs, who was Judy's stand-in, both have a line, finally, in this episode.
Around 5.38, when Kelso comes in to tell everyone not to moonlight,
they're the nurse and the doctor, I believe,
who have a line saying what they do to moonlight at the hospital.
So there you go.
How funny was Sam Lloyd trying on the wig?
Yeah, you didn't see that now let's talk about my black by popular demand shirt uh loaned by turk i'm also in a do-rag i
don't know if i do that in 2020 thank you for letting me wear this man the sisters are loving
it there's some what'd you say charmaine even called me a cracker yeah no i said it innocently
like uh charmaine even called me a cracker
no you said it with some attitude you said the whole thing with some attitude it's like
thanks for letting me bother i'm gonna this is what i this is how i heard you say it thanks
for letting me borrow the shirt player the sisters is loving it charmaine even called me a cracker
no i definitely didn't do that for that. I would also like to say
that I would not wear a do-rag and a
black by popular demand t-shirt
now.
But for the story point, for those
of you, it was Turk's shirt on loan to
me. I wish you still had
that shirt, Donald. You would rock that.
I would wear that shirt right now without
hesitation.
And then you end the scene by saying
now check the ball cracker now check the ball cracker yeah that was the first monologue i ever
had uh on the show like that and i remember i think her name was sharon liggins. Is it Sharon Liggins? She was our NBC rep.
Yeah, PR, NBC person maybe?
Yeah.
And she was on the set that day.
And she was like, you know, she gave me a little pep talk before it.
Like, you know, I want to see you shine on this show.
So, you know, we could cut this out because I don't know.
No, I don't want to cut it out i like where it's going go she was she said she said something to the network like we
need to give donald more stuff to say as an african-american and she was an african-american
woman and she was an african-american woman and uh and she was like and this is why you have this
monologue and i was like holy shit and i've never asked this monologue. And I was like, holy shit.
And I've never asked around or asked.
And you're like, I need to go memorize this shit.
Dude, and you're absolutely right.
I did say that shit.
In my head, I was like, oh, shit, I better memorize this shit.
And I remember when we were doing it, I remember feeling like, oh, I didn't nail it.
I didn't quite nail it.
But then when I watched it back today, it's it's you know i'm not saying that i'm great
in it but i i definitely you definitely understand what the fuck i'm talking about you know what i
mean and that's and that's a that's a big deal for me like sometimes i watch my stuff it's rare
that i watch myself but when i do the one problem i have is am i delivering the lines in a way that people can understand where I'm coming from and what I'm saying?
And this was one of those moments where I felt like I was.
And it just so happened to be one of those moments where an African-American woman in the NBC arena stepped up for me and said, you know, I think Donald needs more monologues on this show.
That's cool.
Shout out to Sharon.
She's at Ava DuVernay's studio at Ray now, which is dope.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Sharon Liggins, shout out.
Shout out.
Sharon Liggins.
I mean, make it a difference.
You can see behind the scenes making a difference.
And that's a great story.
I never knew Donald.
You just taught me a Donald Faison scrubs anecdote
even I didn't know.
Well, those are one of those things that you don't really talk.
You don't brag about stuff like that.
You just do it.
And she did that.
It's a great story about her and her character and what she was trying to do with the network.
Well, she's fiery, man.
She always looked out from the gate.
Well, she's fiery, man. She's like, she was always, she always looked out from the gate.
Now, the dog that's Ken's dog was Ken's real dog, Australian Shepherd. Its name was Pal.
Yes. His name was Pal. And it was the smartest dog. I mean, Ken had this dog so well-trained.
Australian Shepherds are known for being super intelligent, but this was like the best trained dog.
I mean, Ken could be like,
pal,
go get the blue toy in the other room.
And the dog would go and like choose from 10 toys,
the blue toy.
I mean,
it was amazing.
Not only that,
he's calling the dog Baxter and the dog is responding to Baxter.
So.
Well,
he probably,
he probably the night before was like,
Hey man,
tomorrow I'm going to call you Baxter.
But the dog's like,
Oh, but this whole scene, this whole scene, I'm going to call you Baxter. But I'm going to reply. Respond. And the dog's like, oh.
Oh, all right.
But this whole scene, this whole scene,
it made me sad because it made me miss Sam Lloyd.
But this whole scene where Sam, the lawyer,
is competing with the dog Baxter is so funny.
It's really funny.
That's the funniest part of this episode.
Yes, I agree.
I agree.
Baxter won't.
So he goes, so someone says to him, Ted, you don't have to do this competition with the dog.
And he's like, shut up.
I can win this.
I can win this.
And then later he comes running in.
He goes, Baxter won't get out of my chair.
Who knew Elliot was scared of domesticated animals, dude?
Cats.
No, just any domestic animal.
She walks in and there's a pig and she's like.
By the way, that's some bullshit.
I don't think any doctors are moonlighting as vets.
It's not the same.
It's not the same thing.
I don't think it's the same thing.
A heart is a heart.
I don't think it's the same thing.
I don't think it's the same thing.
How about how
the janitor doesn't know where the emergency room is yeah that's that jumps out they really didn't
they really didn't give neil a lot to do in this episode he has he has one moment
where where tom cavanaugh hurts him and then he asks where the emergency room is
um how about kelso revealing he's got a side hustle He's got a little side piece
I have a real question here
Because
I'm sorry if it's gone over my head
And we've talked about it over and over again
And I get that Dan's a screw up
And everything
But why is JD so hard on Dan
Like
He's so hard on this guy
Dan's been horrible to JD
Dan has stolen girlfriends from him I mean
doesn't he's gonna go on to steal doesn't he date Elliot that happened already that
it didn't happen yet no okay Dan's a horrible brother I mean he's done some really horrible
shit I think JD's embarrassed because Dan's of doesn't do anything he lives at home and
complains about his mom and I mean Shay you might you might have more to say on this. I think he's, I think he's embarrassed and his brother is constantly
screwing him over. Yeah, that all, that all feels exactly right. That's the same read I got on it.
He was just when you, I think when you're the younger sibling, if you feel like you have
leapfrogged over the older one, part of you is excited about that. And also part of you is like
kind of mad about it. Why, why do I have to be the one who's doing all of this why can't you you do some shit too why does it always have to be me
and then you know he hints at that the thing um about him being mad from their childhood when
dan wasn't there for him like that's just all sort of coming out all at once in this episode
feels like right but then it makes it makes it makes your point even better at the end.
Was Dan really there for him this whole time,
but only in behind the scenes?
You know what I mean?
You know, that's a great point.
I like that you said that, Shay.
In the spirit of Cade Zielinski's question
about how I judge my own acting,
I'm going to say that I think that the actor, Zach,
was good in that scene where I confronted Dan.
I would have said, good job.
I think that was good.
Oh, right on.
I'll agree with that.
No, I think it was a good scene between the two of us.
I don't always think that.
Watching it 20 years later, sometimes I go,
what the fuck are you doing?
There's some moments where I go,
that was a good scene between us.
I liked it.
Well, it's a great scene because when he does what he,
it makes what he does for you so much more powerful.
So absolutely.
That message has to be there.
You said something earlier that I thought was really amazing in that, you know, Bill, when Kate was on,
that Bill would come up and he would tell you
why you have to have more energy on jokes
and everything like that.
And it's something that we talk about always,
how, you know, these storylines,
how storylines connect through the shows and everything. Bill is really good at setting up moments like that, moments like Dan and Cox at the end. This whole show is built for that one moment at the end you know what i mean and um that's that's something to be that that's something to be said
because that means that this was this this wasn't written and then he was like and then at the end
it feels just me personally and i could be wrong about this and maybe this is an ass bill situation
but it feels like this episode was originally this is the episode where we learn Dan is a whole lot more than what we think he is.
Now let's write that story.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's what it feels like because that moment at the end of this show is so important for everything that happens after this.
That's kind of like what Shay was saying.
It makes us question for the first time how much Dan is doing some Oz some you know oz behind the curtain work that could have gotten jd exactly where he is
yeah yeah i like the the thing that happens where every so often they will like poke a hole in dr
cox because this episode starts with them with with jd doing the pickles thing messing with the patient. Mr. Bober. And then Dr. Cox scares him.
Oh, did I catch you mocking this patient?
And JD's scared.
And he's like, oh, I've never been more proud of you.
And they kind of share a moment there.
And by the end of the show, we realize like, OK, Dr. Cox has misread this situation here
because Dr. Cox is a prick for a lot of the time with a lot of the patients
but he's always doing it in a way that lets you know he cares a great great deal and jd still is
his third year um or the third season anyway he's not quite ready to operate at that level yet he
can't do that we can't do those two things at the same time he can't walk that line he's trying it
on he's trying it and dr cox is like oh cool you can do it and dan is like he's not ready yet right and that's like and also
like you can be a cynical bastard but this this this is a kid still relatively and he's wide-eyed
and he's you know don't make him you don't rush him to it if he becomes you in in 20 years then
so be it but don't rush him to that. Yeah, yeah. It's a similar thing.
Like a bigger stakes thing than, like I have three sons.
The youngest one is seven.
And every once in a while, he'll say like a cuss word.
And I think it's the funniest thing in the world.
And Laramie is like, he can cuss when he's older.
I get that you think it's funny, but it's like, don't rush him into that.
He'll get there when he needs to get there.
And then I always feel like a jerk afterward.
And I'm like, yeah, you're right. You're exactly right.
You should hear Donald's kids.
I can't believe it.
Dude, I think it's the funniest shit ever.
Can you tell them what your daughter said?
We can cut it out if you don't want to use it.
Yeah, no, we can use it.
She said it to Florence, I think.
No, when she gets hurt or if something hurts her feelings.
Dude, I'm talking about when she came over my house and Florence said, how was the car ride or something?
Do you remember this story?
No, what did she say?
I don't know.
She said something like this.
Oh, she was going to say, he's driving like a stupid-ass motherfucker.
Yeah.
That's hardcore.
That's hardcore.
And Florence was like, oh, my God.
She's like, how was the car ride over?
My dad was driving crazy.
Oh, well, did you tell him you were upset?
Yeah, I said he was a stupid-ass motherfucker.
Yeah.
She used it the right way.
She used it the right way.
She nailed it.
Jeez.
She nailed it.
Yo, here's one that's really funny. She used it the right way. She used it the right way. She nailed it. She nailed it.
Yo, here's one that's really funny.
So I have an 18-year-old, 19-year-old son, right?
And so he's really into the office right now and stuff.
So he says dumb shit around a boy who's seven, like that's what she said.
Yeah.
And so my son doesn't know necessarily how that's what she said works.
We just said it all the time.
So Casey was like, dang, man, somebody needs to wash these dishes.
And Rocco will be like, that's what she said.
He's just trying it out.
Right.
Whose water is this? that's what she said oh yeah dumb stupid ass motherfucker
we're uh we're almost done uh i think right guys i wanted to uh i wanted to play you one video real
quick that's on the Internet.
And it's a very funny woman who's inspiring you all to vote and to make sure you stay in line.
Did you see this on my stories, Donald, the woman?
I did not.
I did with the one that's sitting down in the chair and how she's getting ready for it.
I'm going to play it for you.
It's a woman.
It's a very funny woman.
And she's getting ready to get in line to vote. And she's encouraging people not to. She's been online. It's a woman. It's a very funny woman, and she's getting ready to get in line to vote.
She's been online. She's been
waiting. I don't know what her situation is, but
halfway through the video,
when she starts cutting to it, she cuts to her chair
and her cooler.
I just want to play you this woman because I think she's
an inspiration, and you should listen to
what she says. Hold on. Here she is.
Hold on.
Okay, guys. I'm going over here and get
my judge. I got my grown folks hair on. I got my savage clothes on. I'm ready for this damn heat.
And I'm ready for these people because I'm going to vote. And ain't shit going to stop me. Not this
song, not this heat. And y'all need to go on and get y'all judged and get y'all vote on. Because let me show you.
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
I'm going to get my damn judge.
They can stand out there for 15 hours.
I got my bill.
They can stand out there for 24 hours.
I got my snacks.
I ain't going to play with these hoes.
I'm going to vote.
And I said, you go vote too.
So there you go vote too so there you go I don't know what
judge means
but it means
fucking go vote
probably
no matter what
you got to do
right guys
yeah man
support
I wanted to
Shay
everyone if you've been
listening to Shay
and you still
haven't got his book
check it out
Shay remind everybody
how they get your
self-published essays on uh on scrubs that are amazing and shea you do you do a podcast too
don't we're gonna plug that to donald yeah yeah first the book shea the the website is halfway
books.com halfway books yeah man i'm gonna keep it honest with you zach i don't like how you begin
all puffy chest with me you You begin all loud and shit.
Like you want to do something.
Do you want to wrestle?
Do you want to come over and wrestle?
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
All I'm telling you is if I get movement, it doesn't count.
Will you smoke weed and wrestle with me?
No.
That feels like really weird.
I'm sure there's a lot of people listening that would love to take you up on that yes according to shay there's many mexicans who would love that off
if you want to smoke weed and wrestle with me at me donald underscore azan on instagram
all right uh shay and tell us about your podcast that you have going how people find that
um it's called the connect and it's wherever you get podcasts.
It's a movie podcast.
Basically, all we do is we take one central theme,
and then me and the co-host, Jason Concepcion,
each pick a movie that touches on that theme.
So it could be like, okay, this week's theme is find a movie
where somebody's having relationship troubles.
And we're like, okay, cool.
Clueless and Garden State.
Boom.
Now we're going to talk about those two movies through this lens right on we talked about la
la land earlier is that one of the movies that you've ever did you guys ever do that one well
we haven't done that one yet but that's really really good donald uh only wants to tune in shay
when you do uh la la land uh listen um nobody shay as you know from listening, you guys, Shay can talk about movies and TV in such an amazing, interesting, articulate way.
So check out his podcast, although don't listen to it before you listen to ours.
Another thing I want to mention that I think is cool if you're a creative person, Adobe Max is a big creativity conference.
It's happening the 20th to the 22nd.
I only know about this because I'm one of the speakers.
And I'm telling you because it's free.
Normally, this is a paid thing.
But this year, because of life being what it is, the good folks at Adobe have made it free.
So it's all sorts of presentations and speeches and cool things you'd get at a creativity conference, but free.
So go to adobemax.com to to find that
because and also you can watch my video because i i gave out some little pearls of wisdom i think
you're teaching about film zach what are we learning i'm auditioning to be a film professor
uh no i speak about the creative process a bit and and i uh i don't know i hopefully inspire a bit
that's awesome i i videotaped it already
it's already
it's done
lastly
I just want to talk about merch
we you know
Donald and I got made fun of
for having shitty merch
so we went all out
now we've got all sorts of shit
there's hoodies
there's t-shirts
in different colors
there's a dish
there's a washcloth
that was meant for you
to take in the shower
but I posted on
on Instagram
a young woman
used it as her
as her dish towel it's it's hanging over the handle of her stove so you can woman used it as her dish towel.
It's hanging over the handle of her stove.
So you can also use it as your dish towel.
We got a lot of good shit coming.
Should I tell them what we got coming, Donald?
Let's get into it.
We got for the holiday season, we've got wrapping paper coming your way.
That's smart.
That's a smart one.
We got ornaments.
We got ornaments coming your way.
We got pop sockets. Boom. We got pop got ornaments coming your way. We got pop sockets.
Boom.
We got pop sockets coming your way.
And my favorite item that I don't think we ordered enough of.
We definitely did.
But we'll find out.
We have Zach and Donald's onesies.
I'm so excited.
We've got onesies headed your way.
Those are flying out of here.
Yeah.
Well, we had to decide how many to order,
and Donald and I were like,
I don't know how many we should order.
I mean, like, I don't know how many people will buy this.
And then I don't think we ordered enough
because I think they'll be popular
because everyone in my family wants them.
But anyway, that's our merch,
so don't think we don't have good merch now,
and don't make fun of us for having shitty merch
because we got into it.
Oh, and you find the merch, sorry,
by going to cottonbureau.com
and searching for Fake Doctors Real Friends.
I thought we could end the show with Josh Radin
because we've never done that, Donald.
All this time, we've never played a Josh Radin song.
I thought we were waiting until Josh Radin
was going to be on the show to play a song.
That's silly.
We're going to ask Josh Radin to play a song live
when he's on.
Maybe if we were good podcast producers, we would have him play. That's silly. We're going to ask Josh Radin to play a song live when he's on. Maybe if we were
good podcast producers, we would have him
play Winter
on my screw-up at the end of
my screw-up. That's what we should do, right?
So which song should we have Josh Radin play today?
I think you and I
have the same favorite Josh Radin song.
I have a couple
of favorite Josh Radin songs.
But I think you and I have the same most favorite
Which one is that?
Paperweight
Fuck yeah dude, you know me
You know me
Alright, listen, next week
Tara Reid on the show guys
Tara Reid
Sharknado
We're going to get some good stories from Tara Reid
She plays a scientist in Sharknado.
Tara Reid will be on the show next.
Yes.
And Tara Reid's got a lot of, always when we were shooting, had a lot of funny anecdotes.
So she'll bring them.
And she said yes.
So we'll have Tara Reid.
And thank you guys so much for listening.
Thank you, Shay, for being such a good guest.
Shay, you're the best.
As always.
You're the best, Shay!
Okay.
Sorry for the unlatch. Joelle. You're the best, Shay. Okay. Sorry for the unlatch.
Joel.
Another one.
Another unlatch.
Another unlatch.
Joel, we love you.
Daniel, we love you.
Here is Josh Radin with Donald and my favorite song, Paperweight.
Been up all night staring at you
Wondering what's on your mind.
I've been this way with so many before, but this feels like the first time.
You want the sunrise to go back to bed, and I want to make you laugh.
make you laugh
mess up my bed
with me
kick off the covers
and wait at
every word you say
I think I should write down
I don't want to forget
Come daydight
Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a, your newest one.
Please leave your taste on my tongue.
Paperweight on my back.
Cover me like a blanket. Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers I'm waiting
And every word you say
I think I should write down.
Don't want to forget come daylight.
And no need to worry that's wasting time.
Wasting time And no need to wonder
What's been on my mind
It's you
It's you
It's you Every word you say
I think I should write it down
Don't wanna forget come daylight
I give up I'll let you in.
You made it back to sleep again.
Wonder what you're dreaming
and so much more. me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and
so much more. I am so excited about
this podcast, The Bright Side. You
guys are giving people a chance to shine a light
on their lives, shine a light on a little advice
that they want to share. Listen to The Bright
Side on America's number one podcast
network, iHeart. Open your free
iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on
The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team
for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we
can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even
more revealing and more personal, with more entrepreneurs, more live events, and more
questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin,
about the secrets behind my skincare.
Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who changed the world.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
Scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes.
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
It's just unbelievable.
Hide your money in your old Richmond,
because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.